Regret-Proof Decisions: how to use your regrets to create a fulfilling, aligned life, better business and relationships outcomes.

Regret can feel like a punch to the gut, but it’s one of the most underrated decision-making tools we have. When a choice leaves that bitter, lingering “that wasn’t right” feeling, it’s often not random emotion. It’s a signal that something important in you just got ignored. I walk you through a real decision I made too quickly. We dig into values-based decision making, why trade-offs are unavoidable, and how to stop choosing from a place of stress, people-pleasing, or a packed schedule. I ...

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, personal and collective evolution, your master health, sleep, stress management, executive and self-actualization coach, and just someone who is here with you on a journey of learning how to use, unlock, discover more of our human potential. So together, we can create the most extraordinary world around us, living great lives, fulfilled, aligned, and creating more positive impact

• 0:51Speaker 00

  in the world. Today, guys, we are talking about decision-making. And by the end of this podcast, you're going to learn a very simple framework, which is based on decision-making methodologies done and researched by people far smarter than myself. The decision-making framework that will allow you to use your regrets to make better decisions, more aligned, more fulfilling, something that feels right moving forward. Just one simple framework, but it will help you a lot to shape the life that feels more and more true to yourself.

• 1:33Speaker 00

  So let's begin. I teach decision-making. I'm an executive coach. And past weekend, or past week, I just made a bad one. And what happened? I was offered a gig to speak in front of entrepreneurs in eco-green space who are pushing the envelope, trying to make the world better, greener, more lasting home for humans. And I was offered a gig. It was a pro bono gig.

• 2:08Speaker 00

  And it was last minute in my defense. And I said, no, because also I'm going away for a month visiting back home, my parents. And I had all these like social engagements and uh the the more work and different projects. And it it just all felt hectic and overwhelming. And I'm like, yeah, there is no way I just say no. And I said it in a somewhat rush without sitting down with myself. I'm like, like, is it a good way? Is it is it is it a good decision, not a good decision? Like, I'm gonna walk you through my process just now.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  But after it passed and I sat down with myself, I immediately felt, ouch. That actually feels not right. That feels bitter, like it's a wrong decision. And during my weekly reflection that I usually do either on Saturdays or Sundays, I decided to sit down with myself and talk myself through exploring this negative feeling, where it's coming from and whether I should adjust anything about my decision making moving forward.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  And so on Sunday, I sit down with myself and the feeling of bitterness and this not being the right decision was still there. I'm like, okay, that's interesting. Why is it there? Is it because, you know, I spoke quite a few times and did quite a few workshops in the ecosystem? And I knew the people. Was it because I was just not comfortable with saying no to them? Or was there something deeper, something more important? Because, you know, saying no sometimes, even though we like to help people, to please people, to be, I don't know, a team player and be there for others. But saying no feels uncomfortable, but it is needed in order to create a life path

• 4:09Speaker 00

  that feels good to us. Because at the end of the day, nobody's gonna be at the end of your life there thinking for you. Are you living your? For fulfilling life, making yourself happy. Nobody's gonna be there, only you gonna be there. And so choose your battles, choose things that you care about and care about them fully and deeply with your action and commitment and energy and your thinking and everything you're made of, right? And so, Sunday reflection, I look at this decision and when decision feels not right, it is almost in 100% cases a sign to sit down and reflect on the decision against your values.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  And that is where knowing your values and doing some work, doing some assessments, like I specifically, in terms of values, I love this values breach assessment done by a researcher, a PhD, an executive coach, Suzy Walsh, who teaches the science, literally science, of becoming you. And one of the things that she helped to create is this values breach assessment, which allows you to understand what you truly care about in life from your core and where you need to invest your energy, your resources, your time in order for you to build a life that feels right, fulfilling and happy, right?

• 5:37Speaker 00

  The values assessment breach, I'm not affiliated, I took it, I love it, I read the book, it's amazing. So I'm linking it in the show notes in case you need to understand yourself better. And the report is great and it's then it will allow you to do what I'm about to you, you know, to tell you about for better decision making. You can also use other values assessments, whatever you do, but just make sure to be very clear about what your values are, what they mean and how to act on them. And so I sat down with my values and my decision. And I have five core values, guys, and let me read you what those values are from my blog.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  My core values. Number one, the strongest one, radios. And that is again from Suzy Welsh's assessment. And radios is all about creating positive impact in the world by helping purpose driven leaders, entrepreneurs, achievers, leaders, like again, on all, in all spaces and places and all levels, to do their best. Like, it is important for me, super important, to create positive impact in the world. And specifically for me, that means to help purpose driven leaders to unlock more their potential, so we together can create more positive impact in the world. That is my number one value. I also have four other core values. Work centrism, which is, which means work isn't something I endure or have to do, it's something I get to do.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  It's an essential part of fulfilling life for me that I absolutely need in my life. Voice, expressing my thinking, my creativity, my authenticity, being heard. That's why I'm doing this podcast, guys, for eight years and I keep going. Your values are very strong, like, things that will make any amount of commitment and discipline feels like no work at all. Right, so voice. Agency, the ability to steer my own ship, make my own decisions and schedule. That's why I'm not, not employed. I've never been. Well, actually, I've been after finishing university for like six months. But the reason why I'm never employed but work on contract with other people, collaborate,

• 7:46Speaker 00

  etc., but I'm like my own captain, is because agency and setting my own rules and boundaries and schedules and making my own decisions is so important to me. And then achievement, reaching milestones that mean something to me and show up in the world. I wanna like write bestselling books. I want to create a body of work. I wanna create some program that will help a lot more people on, at scale to unlock more of their potential, right? Those things are important to me. And so when I sat down with the decision of saying no, it became so obvious. I had acted against the one value that matters most to me, impact, positive impact, making a positive difference in the lives of ambitious people committed to changing the world.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  I said no to a room full of my people. And that stinks, and it still does. Regrets, right? That's a feeling of, should, I should have said yes.

• 8:46Speaker 00

  But the regrets, guys, they're not there for rumination and beating ourselves up. Past is past. You'll never be able to make all the right choices. You kind of have to learn from, you know, the regrets as well. It's data. Those regrets and bad decisions, when we sit down to learn from them, it's data. A message from your values, delivered late but still in time to build your better, more aligned and fulfilling future. Right? So what am I doing differently next time, learning from this experience? Eight, slowing down. Whenever an opportunity lands in my lap, I'm not going to be rushing through a decision. Instead, I'm going to skittle a little bit of quiet time, preferably in the morning.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  Quiet moment, or at least, you know, few breaths, going to the bathroom if it's in the middle of the day and having my list of values. That's what I also realized. I need to like laminate those values and I don't know, tattoo it on my forehead or put somewhere very close to me, maybe in my wallet. Sitting down with my values and making a thoughtful trade-off. Not perfect one, because there were things on my calendar as well on that day at that time, but as I'm reflecting back, not as important, not as like unchangeable. So trade-offs are always there and it's not about choosing the perfect solution. There is never one in most complex decisions. It's

• 10:13Speaker 00

  choosing the one that feels the most right. Regrets, guys, can be a remarkable teachers. And are you listening to yours? So the takeaway from this podcast episode. A, regrets are there. It's a legitimate feeling that is there to teach you something. More than that, it teaches you that you just did something that was not aligned with your values. And you need to figure out how to make better decisions in similar situations moving forward. And point number two, you kind of have to know your values. You have to understand yourself, what drives you in this life, to avoid more future regrets.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  And at the end of your life, when you're eighty and ninety, looking back at your life saying, hey, it was not a perfect life, but it was a good one. And I regret absolutely nothing. Oh, at least not, not, not as much and you learn from all of your regrets. Right. So the takeaway from this, if you have recent regrets that you're still feeling bitterness of, sit down with your weekly reflection or just with reflection with a piece of paper and ask yourself, what are these regrets trying to tell me? What value or values did I just act against?

• 11:38Speaker 00

  And the second one, you can use the link in the show notes to take your values assessment, values breach assessment, or take any other assessment. Understanding yourself will help you to prevent regrets moving forward. But of course, you also need to slow down and make sure that you align your complex, important decisions with trade-offs, the imperfect ones, where there is no perfect solution. But you know, the one that is more, that feels more right. So get to know your values and keep them top of mind. A lot of people would say, I know my values. And then there's like, what are they? What do they mean to you day to day? And that's where people blank. Even I like making that decision after that, I realized, hey, I kind of know my values, but I haven't checked in with them in a while.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  And so that was a signal to check in with those values and create some list that I can carry in my wallet. So I always have a tool to make better decision, which is built around my values, not, you know, hectic schedules and the first thing that comes to mind. So that is it. Get to know yourself through your values. And if you have recent regrets, sit down with those regrets and ask yourself, what are these regrets are trying to tell me to make future decisions that are more fulfilling and more aligned and feel more right? Again, the link for values assessment is in the show notes.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  If you have any questions or would like me to help you to walk through a decision. Please do. I do executive coaching sessions for this specific person purpose with many leaders, entrepreneurs, business owners who need to reflect back and think through better, more complex decisions. The link to the session is in the show notes as well. And what else? Till next time, get to know your values. Please share this podcast episode with one person who is going through a lot of decision making these days and just like not sure what's the best choice. Share with them this podcast episode. It might be very helpful to them.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  And till next time, guys, keep leaning into your regrets to learn how to make better decisions moving forward. And till next time, keep growing.