Pod Insights Change Wired One Question To Feel Happier Every Day: curing "I'll be happy when..." mind disease. About this episode What if joy wasn’t something you earned after life behaved, but something you could create today? We explore a simple, repeatable tool that helps you stop waiting for perfect conditions and start building real happiness in your life as it is today. We talk about the hidden cost of “I’ll be happy when,” why high achievers often suffer more when things won’t budge, and how to draw a clear line between what you can and can’t control. To keep your mind from spiraling, we share a visualization ...
Transcript 0:09 Speaker 00 Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, personal and collective transformation, in getting better one behavior, one habit, one system at a time. And just someone who is really, really passionate about human potential, about learning how to do better, how to grow into the best version of ourselves, into the future you that you are inspired to become and into the life that you absolutely love living. And today, guys, by the end of this podcast episode, you're gonna learn one simple tool
0:52 Speaker 00 that will help you to be happier every day. Yes, it's a big promise, but it is what's gonna happen if you're gonna use you this tool consistently. It's just one question, but asked consistently, it's gonna produce a profound change in your mindset, in your thinking, in your emotions and in your actions, which then will produce different results. And by different result, again, we're talking about happiness, your joy, how you feel in your life, in your days, every day. And I would say that's what we do, everything that we do, to feel good in our own lives.
1:36 Speaker 00 But well, first, let's begin with a question with the thought that a client shared with me in a session recently. The thought, what the client shared, "I can't be happy until this is resolved. I can't sleep well with this in my head." And the client is going through some difficult transition in life and...
2:02 Speaker 00 He believes that he needs to kind of get through it. And once that is resolved, he then can be happy, right? I'll be happy when? Isn't that a familiar thought that we all have from time to time? Like, I'll be okay when? I'll be satisfied when? When this happened, everything else gonna get better, right? Such a common sentence to hear in our own head and a very common sentence to hear in a coaching session. And a very reliable way to hand over the keys from your emotional well-being,
2:45 Speaker 00 your peace of mind to circumstances and people you don't control and stay forever unhappy with something or someone. You know this phrase, guys? Happiness is an inside job. And most of us kind of heard it, but I don't think a lot of us realize that the when we are tested on it or when you truly know if that's just a nice phrase you heard once or it's a skill that you actually possess. When you are tested on that is exactly in that moment
3:28 Speaker 00 when life puts on your plate things you don't like. You can't change them and you have to figure out how to live your life with them. Sometimes life can look like a lawsuit that many things depend on and it's dragging on for years. A promotion you didn't get, a job you lost, business idea crushed by new regulations. Or let's talk about AI. How many jobs it changed? How many businesses are not needed anymore because there is AI?
4:05 Speaker 00 A diagnosis that changes how you have to live your life from now on. Something that's gonna stay in your life and you never getting to your normal. No, this is your normal. And again, you kind of have to figure out how to enjoy your life with it. Maybe it's a job you are stuck in for a while with people you don't enjoy working with. A place you don't like living in, but you kind of have to be there. You know, life, I think that, you know, life is fair, especially if you are an achiever and and doer. You are focused on what you can control, on where you can take action, on what you can change. And I think for, especially for this type of person, person, a doer and achiever.
4:51 Speaker 00 It is even more so harder to make peace with certain facts that you cannot control. And you have to live with. And I would argue that a lot of frustration, that a lot of this
5:09 Speaker 00 non-int internal non-peace, or what do you call the opposite of peace? This internal, uh, sometimes anger, sometimes stress, sometimes frustration. For a lot of people, it comes from inability to learn what you can control, what you can't. And take action where it makes sense, but then also learning how to accept things that you might not like, but you have to live with them peacefully. Things happen, things you don't want will happen many times in your life. And it's in this exact moment, guys, not in some easy seasons
5:50 Speaker 00 that you find out whether this phrase happiness is an inside job is your skill? Or just a phrase on a mark?
6:00 Speaker 00 And this skill is not about, you know, accepting what is in life and learning how to be happy with it. It's not about putting a fake smile on your face. It's not about pretending you're fine and you like it when you're not, when you don't. It's about learning to separate things you can and cannot control. Things you can change and things you have to accept. And then honestly, learning how to ask yourself the simple question.
6:29 Speaker 00 That I stole from one of the top coaches out there. Did I do my best to make myself happy today? And that is the tool, and that is the secret. And that is the question of today's podcast. Did I do my best to make myself happy today? Not once everything is fixed. Not once the lawsuit ends. Not once the person apologizes or changes. Not the one you finally get the job you deserve and want. Not once the diagnosis changes or you get better. Sometimes you don't. But now, with all the mess still on the table, without escaping reality, without denial, but truly accepting it.
7:16 Speaker 00 Did I do my best to make myself happy today? Did you move your body? Did you call someone you love? Someone you're grateful for? Did you do your best to help someone today? Did you shift your attention for 20 minutes to music you like? Or projects you are excited about? Did you do a few things that give you the sense of strength? And hope? And belief? Instead of draining you? Did I do my best to make myself happy? Inner peace, guys, and I'm learning this more and more in my own life and with my clients. It's not the absence of problems or things you don't like.
7:59 Speaker 00 It's the presence of choice inside of them. Of choice, of choosing to do, to focus on, on things that you can control, that you can enjoy, that add quality into your life. Even with all this stuff that you don't like and you need to accept and that is not working. And God knows how long it's not going to be working, right? The world does not work according to our plan. This is not how the universe is designed. And sooner or later, each of us will realize that. And I believe that a huge part of living without suffering
8:41 Speaker 00 isn't to just learn how to deal with problems or take action. It is also learning how to accept things that, again, you might not like, but they are there and you have to be with them at peace. So over to you, dear listener. What's stealing your peace and joy of living today? And is it a battle worth fighting? Or something to accept so you can redirect your energy to what can bring you joy? Right? Again, back to the question of today's podcast. Did you do your best to make yourself happy today? Do you know what things make you happy and joyful?
9:27 Speaker 00 Did you work on adding more of them into your life? I always like asking my clients to do different kind of visualizations. And with this acceptance skill, I invite them to visualize a box or a suitcase where you put all of this frustrating stuff into the suitcase. You put it there and you close it, or maybe it's a box. And then you find a place in your mind or in your visualized apartment or a house, somewhere on the attic or somewhere where you know, you don't, you don't see it every day.
10:07 Speaker 00 And you put it away there and you go about working on the rest of the house. Believe it or not, but your mind works very similarly. You can put things away. And whenever your mind start thinking about that, maybe getting frustrating about how these things don't exactly work. Whenever your mind starts going there, it is your skill and responsibility to imagine that suitcase, a box, put it back there and then get into the rest of the house of your life and start thinking about all the things you can still improve, control and enjoy and add into your life to create more joy, to create more happiness.
10:53 Speaker 00 And the simple question asked daily really helps to shift your focus, attention, your energy, your actions, and ultimately how you end up feeling to the right things, again, things you can control, you can work on, you can add. Did I do my best today to make myself happy? And if you didn't, then what can you do if you were absolutely committed to being more joyful, happier, maybe not one hundred percent, not perfectly, but again, more, better? Did you do my, did you do your best to make yourself happy today?
11:31 Speaker 00 And if not, what can you do if you were absolutely committed to feeling better, to manifesting or to nourishing more happiness and joy in your life? And that's about it for today's podcast, shorter episode, but I really want you to get grounded with this idea and start using it every day, especially in the moments when you find yourself getting frustrated with things you cannot change, right? Ask yourself, did I do my best to make myself happy today? And if I were absolutely committed to making myself happy today, what would I do? And that's about it, guys.
12:14 Speaker 00 Don't forget to share this podcast episode with at least one other person. You probably know at least one other person who is, who might be in this state, like getting frustrated with their inability to change certain things. Share this podcast with them and make them aware that it's okay to accept things and instead shift your attention to what you can create, add and work on instead. So share this podcast with that person. Also rate, review, comment on any platform where you find this podcast on. It helps us to reach more people so we could live happier, more joyful lives every day together.
12:57 Speaker 00 So please do this for me, help me help more people. Until next time, just get into the habit of asking yourself this question more often. Did I do my best today to make myself happy? Thank you guys for listening and till next time, keep growing. Hopefully now a little bit more joyful and a little bit happier.
Previous 2-minute practice to make change last with Lisa Broderick, a co-author of Permanence: become the person you want to be and stay that way. Next Why you fail with some habits and succeed with others. Lets fix it. Page updated November 10, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated
