Pod Insights Change Wired Dealbreakers: how to make difficult life decisions simple and fast. Career, life partner, a place to live. About this episode Big decisions get heavy when our lives don’t match our values. We set out to change that by getting ruthless about clarity and gentle about self-honesty. Think of this conversation as a blueprint for making choices that align with your best life you always think about: together we define deal breakers across career, relationships, and where you live, and we show how a short pause for reflection can prevent months of second-guessing. Instead of hoping the shiny option will evolve into your bes...
Transcript 0:09 Speaker 00 Hello and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, transformation, personal and collective evolution. And here we are together to learn how to unlock more human potential in each of us. So together we can create more positive impact, the most extraordinary world around us, and at the same time, living the most extraordinary life experience. Before we jump into today's topic, guys, I want to invite you to an online live experience that I'm doing for the first time. It's the Clarity Reset.
0:54 Speaker 00 It's year-end guided reflection. We're going to do it in a group and I'm going to guide you through a series of prompts to help you get closer to the answer to this question. Who am I now and what actually matters? It's a 90-minute experience, absolutely free, available to everyone worldwide. It's going to be January 3rd from 4:00 to 5:30 PM, South African Standard Time, which is about 9:00 AM Eastern or 6:00 AM on the West Coast. And obviously, in Asia, it's a little bit later. Check out the details, the link is in the show notes.
1:35 Speaker 00 It's a 90-minute experience for those brave enough to pause, look inward and realign with what truly matters. Because I think every, well, a lot of people are starting to understand that unless you take the courage, the boldness, the commitment to design the life you want, you're not going to end up on living it, just hoping somehow it will happen one day, someday, and you kind of just have to suffer till it happens. No, that's not how you live the most extraordinary life. What we learned, you know, on Oprah, she had this saying.
2:18 Speaker 00 About successful people and she interviewed and talked to a lot of them. And she has this saying, successful people get what they want because they know what they want. And I would also add, they get after it with every choice you make. And before you make that choice that you want, you need to spend some time getting to know you and reflect on things like what works for me, what doesn't, what I like, what I have, hate, what makes you, what makes me happy, what makes me miserable, or what makes me numb, what makes my day work, not work, et cetera. And that's the reflection is about that.
2:58 Speaker 00 It's reflecting on your past year and learning more about what makes your life good. And what you need to add to do more of to prioritize to get closer and closer to living the most extraordinary life experience, whatever it is for you. So again, the invitation is, the link is in the show notes. It's going to be January third, Saturday, ninety minute experience for those brave enough to pause, look inward and realign with what truly matters. And that is such a, or that is in such an alignment with what we are talking about today. And today we're talking about deal breakers.
3:45 Speaker 00 How to make difficult life decisions, simple and fast. Whether that's building a business, career, life partner, or a place to live.
3:54 Speaker 00 You know, the best way to get to any destination is to know where you want to go, right? Sounds obvious, but when it comes to some of the biggest life decisions, like what business to build, or what job to take, or who to spend our life with, where to live, et cetera. We often keep ourselves in the fog. And then we get frustrated that we didn't end up where, where and with what, who we wanted. How this topic for today's podcast and blog came about? A client of mine, when we started doing reflection, she was frustrated with herself. She was like, I did not get what I wanted and I did not get where I wanted.
4:35 Speaker 00 And another business idea did not align with your expectations. And I was listening to her and I'm like, I asked, what didn't work exactly? And she gave me a full list of things. And then I asked, did you know those things that you needed to make this thing work for you in advance? And she did. And I asked again, did you check for them when you decided to go for it? And then she paused. She realized that she hoped it would become that. But logically, it didn't make a lot of sense.
5:20 Speaker 00 There were no signs it ever would. She just liked the idea of it working out in the best case scenario. And we do the same things in relationships. We like something about a person. And then we completely forget that the person is 360 and we don't know so many things. And we don't check the list of things that drove us crazy in the last one. We hope it will be different, but we don't look for the signs. We don't check for them. We just like the idea of the person becoming who we want. Another example, once not so long ago, I was over at a really great apartment deal.
6:00 Speaker 00 Perfect on paper, except that it was in the area where I couldn't comfortably walk. I'm a big walker. I walk at least two times per day for about thirty, forty minutes, thinking, learning, taking calls, just decompressing. The apartment was in the middle of the city, traffic, noise, weird people, especially at certain parts of times of the day. It would kill my mojo every day. I knew that. I knew myself enough. And I said, no, not because it was bad, but because I knew it would quietly drain the quality of my days. Even though I didn't have a better option at the time, even though for someone else, it would have been a dream, a steal.
6:44 Speaker 00 I wouldn't, and I wouldn't take that apartment unless I absolutely had to. You know, sometimes we don't have a choice and that's when we need to take those choices. But if we do have a choice and we know better, but sometimes you think, oh, what if nothing better comes along and I'm gonna lose out? It's a common bias that we all humans have.
7:05 Speaker 00 But overall, it does not work out because most of the time we do have choices. We just don't take the time, the courage, the boldness to take those choices, to make those choices.
7:17 Speaker 00 And to make those choices, you need to get to know you. And it takes time. And that's why most people never do it, just like with that reflection that I'm inviting you to on January 3rd.
7:30 Speaker 00 Getting to know you takes time and it's the most important time investment.
7:36 Speaker 00 Answering questions like, what actually makes you happy? The place you live, people around you, the way you work, the kind of work you do, how your day is designed. What do you absolutely hate? Like hate, like when it happens, you just hate it.
7:54 Speaker 00 What values and principles can you not compromise on? Without slowly degrading and betraying yourself, without having disgraced yourself, you know, why am I doing this? Mate, I hate it. What makes a day good, even when everything is flying all over the place? Like those walks, they make my day good, no matter what struggles I'm going through in my life. What does your best self need to grow? What environment do you need to, for your best to show up more often? When, where, with, who are you at your best? If you don't take the time to learn this about you, you can end up with a pretty good life, one that makes you numb at best and miserable at worst.
8:40 Speaker 00 And you'll keep waiting to stumble into what you really want someday. But never really taking the time to get to know you and then learn how to make choices, to have a really high probability of getting where and what you want.
9:02 Speaker 00 So over to you, dear listener. If you have a track record of choices that didn't make you happy, or you're unsure where to go next, pause and ask this. Where do you still, what do you still need to learn about yourself to start aligning your choices and decisions with what your best self actually needs? And again, the reflection that I'm inviting you to, that's gonna be the time and place and container and me guiding you through those questions, giving you time to do the exercise, to reflect on your past year,
9:48 Speaker 00 on what worked for you, what didn't, people and places and work. So moving forward, you can make choices based on this list and you can eliminate a lot of things based on certain deal breakers, which you know not gonna work for you. So why hope when you can design for it? So I'm inviting you to this experience and it's free. And yes, places are limited. I don't have unlimited online room, but you can invite yourself and invite your friends and family and do it together. So you become together better conscious intentional designers of your life. Because it matters. You don't get another one. Well, maybe if you do believe in reincarnation, you're not gonna remember it.
10:34 Speaker 00 So I highly recommend you and invite you to this experience. That's reflection that we all need, but we rarely do. So that is a place, a time, guidance to do just that.
10:51 Speaker 00 And that's it for today, guys. Hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. If you did and it made you someone better, more thoughtful and directed your mind into the right way, then please do share at least with some other person who you'd like to maybe to do the experience with or to learn about what you learned today. It would be the best thing. New year gift, if you wish, for me. So, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for your attention. Please do check out the link. Join the experience on January 3rd. And till next time, keep learning about yourself. Keep improving and keep growing.
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