#1416- If People Aren't Replying To Your DM's Here's Why...

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• 0:00Speaker 00

  What is going on squad? Welcome to another episode of the change lives make money podcast for business owners that want to grow and sell on social media. My name is Brian Mark. I'm your host. And in today's episode, what if people aren't replying to my DMs? Brian, Brian, what do I do? I've been posting the content. I've been doing the stuff. I've been, you know, following your frameworks, starting to send out more messages. And for whatever reason, I'm not able to get people replying to my DMs. And I'm not exactly sure why. If that is you and you feel like no matter what you do, people aren't replying to your DMs, and this podcast will be incredibly useful for you. Now, I, uh, I just want to say thank you. First of all, it was actually my birthday yesterday. So October 28th, I just turned 35 years old.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  And I got a bunch of people that were wishing me happy birthday all over the place on social media and in person over text. So if you took the time out of your day to wish me happy birthday, I just want to say you the best. Okay. Thank you guys so much. It means a lot to me. I also want to say thank you because the podcast is finally starting to grow again, you know, which is fricking awesome. Like I've, I built a podcast literally off of doing five episodes a week, every single week for, for years, you know, that was literally how it built. And then I kind of dropped off the face of the planet for a while. It's just like, I lost passion for it. But now we're sitting at four million total downloads on the podcast and we were getting about 12, 13,000 downloads a month. Now we're back.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  We got 35,000 downloads last month. We're on pace to do about 35 to 36,000 downloads this month. So for all the guys, all the guys and girls listening to the podcast on a regular basis, I just want to say thank you. And just want to remind you that if you're listening to the podcast, we're giving away money. Okay. We giving away a thousand dollars in cash every month. So all you gotta do screenshot in the episode, share it to your Instagram stories, tag me at the real Brian Mark. Let me know that you're tuning in and just by doing that, you're going to be interested in a thousand dollars. And last thing I'll say before I get into the value, if you guys didn't know, I've got a YouTube channel too. And my YouTube content is actually different than my podcast content. So we got fucking YouTube, we got fucking podcasts. We got Instagram, we got so many different places you can guys get the value from. Alright, so go to all the places. Okay, so you're sending DMs.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  You're doing everything you're supposed to do. You go to your social media account and you've got the many chat new follower automation on like you're starting conversations with people that are coming into your audience. And no matter what you do, you can't get people to reply to your DMs. Your open rate is really bad. And frankly, when, when you're in the DMs, it feels like people are less responsive to you and you gotta chase them fucking down. You actually kind of feel like a telemarketer and you're not sure what you're doing wrong because you're posting content and you are, you're sending your DMs and you're doing everything on paper that you are quote unquote supposed to do. And yet, for some reason, when you send those DMs, it's a mo fucking goes down. And it's frustrating because like the fact of the matter is you spend all this fucking time posting content, creating value for your audience.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  And for these audience members not to appreciate you as a business owner or apply to you. Man, who these people think they fucking are, you know? In today's episode, I'm going to give you guys the framework to think through if you are sending DMs and people are not less responsive. I'm going to give you a, uh, strategy that you guys can execute on. And most importantly, I'm going to give you a way to ultimately get people to start messaging you and having conversations with you. Instead of you feeling like you have to chase everybody down, end up being a telemarketer. So first things first is you guys need to understand like how social media works. Okay. When I say how social media works, it's like I am significantly more likely to do business with somebody

• 3:33Speaker 00

  that I seeing on a consistent basis that I really connect with. And I'm actually going to tell you guys a story of how I got sucked into somebody's news feed the other day. So I've got, you know, I've got 13,000, I've worked with 13,000, 14,000 plus clients. And some of my client stuff will pop up on my social media and I'll end up going to their page and consuming their content. So there was one client of mine specifically, her name's Lucy Hill. And I was on social media, I was like scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. And all of a sudden this like video pops up and it was this video about how Lucy talked about like one of her friends that ended up passing away. And this video had literally nothing to do with her offer. Like it wasn't like, it wasn't anything to do with fitness. She was just sharing a piece of her life outside of fitness

• 4:18Speaker 00

  that ended up bringing me into her page. So I watched this video to completion. It was like a 60 second video that like told the story of like, you know, one of her dear friends that ended up passing away. And then after I watched the video, I went to Lucy's page and before I knew it, I was literally fucking like seven or eight reels deep in Lucy's content and I shook myself out. I was like, oh, what the fuck? I was like, I literally just got, I was like, I just got fucking contented right there. I just got contented. But then I analyzed my own behavior and I realized that a lot of people struggle with social media because they approach social media with a hands out approach. And when I say a hands out approach, it's like everything that you're creating on social media, you are creating with an expectation of a return in clients. So you've got a hands out approach.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  And what that means, it's like every post that you make, we're like this post has got to sign a client, like this post has got to sign a client. Like this post, in the first three seconds, I'm going to say this to grab their attention. And then when I grab their attention, I'm going to get them by the balls. And when I get them by the balls and they give them value, when I give them value, I'm going to fucking DM them. And so it's like every single piece of content that you post on your social media is posted with the intention of getting something in return. And if you think about like, I want you guys to just think about this for a second. Okay. Do you guys, has anybody ever had a friend in their life where it's like every time they message you, it's only because they want something? Do you guys have a friend like that? Where it's like, every time you talk to them or you're trying to hang out with them or, or whatever, it's almost like you know that they want something from you.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  And even though you're like quote unquote friends with them, it's like you almost like avoid talking to them because you're like, oh, fuck, like, I know that this person is just trying to use me or I know that this person just wants something from me. So I just like, I'm not going to respond to their texts or I'm going to try to avoid hanging out with them because I'm not interested. That is how 95% of business owners approach social media. And this is why people are not responding to you. Because what you're doing with your social media content is you are optimizing it 100% for making sure that you get clients from social media. Okay. And because every single piece of content that you post is optimized to get clients from social media. That's the only thing you're thinking about is getting clients from social media.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  How can I say something that's going to get a client from social media? When people watch your content, they don't actually feel a genuine connection to you. And they almost have this like wall or this defense up because they know that you're up to something. It's like they can sense it through the language that you speak and the words that you say and the vibe that you're putting out on social media, that the only reason that you're even posting content is because you want something in return.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  What's going on fam? It's your boy Brian Mark. If you didn't know, we just launched the $10 million Instagram funnel blueprint became a three time national best seller within the first week of us launching. You can get the book, the $10 million Instagram funnel blueprint. That is my literal start to finish complete guide on how to make money with your social media account on amazon.com. So search out the $10 million Instagram funnel blueprint by Brian Mark and get your copy. Guarantee you best purchase you've ever made.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Now, let's be honest. Okay. Let's be honest. I want to go a layer deeper here for a second. We're all here to fucking grow our business, right? Let's be blunt. Like you're not posting on social media just for the sake of posting on social media. Like the reason you would post on social media is to, is to get clients. But when that is your only intention and that is where you lead from, you end up coming from a desperate place. You come up, end up coming from a scarcity place and your audience can sense that. So what do we need to do to shift this mentality? And how do we create a social media page where people genuinely want to have conversations with us? Where they actually feel like they like want to reply to our DMs. They want to send us a message. They want to inbound us. They want to fucking interact with us because we are genuinely giving them value.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  The first thing that you guys need to understand, and this is a fucking writer downer. Okay. The first thing that you need to understand is that your page must be so good that people could get results for free without hiring you. And the reason that you're doing that is because you genuinely care about your industry. That is the first thing you must understand. Your social media page must be so good that people could get results for free without hiring you. And you must do that just for the sake of caring about the industry that you are in. That's it. And so if you guys, for those of you guys that are listening to my podcast right now, or that consume my content on Instagram or watch my videos.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  Do you guys genuinely believe that the content that I produce on my page is so good that you could get results for free? Whether or not you chose to hire me, yes or no? And if you think about that mentality, it's like, that is the core premise behind everything that I do on Instagram. That's the core premise, core premise behind every podcast that I create, every piece of content that I create, every YouTube video that I create. The core premise is that this must be so good that my audience could get results for free without hiring me. That is the first thing that I try to do. Okay. And when I'm optimizing and I'm trying to get more views on my content, or I'm trying to optimize for the best possible format to be able to do that.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  I'm not optimizing and switching formats and doing carousels and talk to the cam content so that I can sign more clients from social media. That's like the, if we think about cause and effect, that's the effect that happens as of the cause of me choosing to deliver so much value to social media that my audience could get results for free without hiring me. So that's the fucking core premise behind everything that I do. So that like, that is like the guiding light, that is your north. Star for social media. You gotta be so good that your audience could get results for free without hiring you. So that is like priority number one. Okay. Priority number one.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  Priority number two, when it comes to social media, and the reason that a lot of you guys are struggling is you have to understand how the Instagram algorithm works so that you can fulfill your fucking priority number one. Okay. Because if priority number one is I want to give them so much value for free so that they could get results without hiring me. Well, then you have to understand, is it valuable if nobody sees the piece of content? So like if you post a piece of content and it's, it is the entire hybrid method on how to lose thirty pounds in six months, or it's literally an entire blueprint on, you know, how to buy your first home in Tucson, Arizona, whatever the fuck.

• 10:51Speaker 00

  If you post that and it's actually that good, but nobody watches it, is it valuable? Yes or no? If nobody consumes the piece of content and nobody actually gets the value, is it valuable? No, because nobody uses it because nobody watches it. And so your fucking core premise on social media needs to be, I'm giving so much value that people can get results for free without hiring me. The underneath that priority number two is in order for you to give that value to people, you need to understand how the algorithm works and you need to be adopting your content strategy to match what is working right now on the algorithm. You have to, because if you don't, then the audience doesn't receive the value because they don't consume it.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Because you're delivering your information in a way that the algorithm is not sharing, AKA people are not responding to, AKA it's not valuable. And so many business owners will just keep fucking posting shit that doesn't work over and over again. Never sit down, look at their analytics and say, well, this isn't working, so let's stop doing this. This is working. Let's double down on this. Let's do more of this style. These don't do it for whatever fucking reason. All right? You gotta understand that value is number one, and then making sure that people see that value is number two. And if people aren't seeing the value, well, they're not going to consume it. They're not going to get results and they're not going to respond. Okay?

• 12:14Speaker 00

  Now, the last thing that I'm going to say in terms of getting people to reply to you, and this is really important. Okay, so buckle up. I told you guys a story at the start of this podcast about how, you know, my client Lucy Hill. And Lucy, when you listen to this, send me a screenshot of this episode and send it over to me. I know you listen to the podcast. The how I was drawn into her page and I actually like, it's not that I don't like watching my clients' content. I just like, I coached fucking thirteen thousand people. And so like, it actually takes something, it takes something really catch my attention and draw me in. And I was very, very drawn into the post that Lucy made, and it had nothing to do with her fucking business. It had to do with her as a person and the story that she was telling about her life. But I was very interested and I watched the entire thing. And I want you guys to understand something. Okay?

• 12:58Speaker 00

  All of the content that you are posting on your social media that has nothing to do with business is the stuff that draws people in. Like dude, I was fucking, I watched a video that was about Lucy's friend passing. And then before I knew it, I was like fucking fifteen reels deep in Lucy's page. And then it's funny, I was like zoomed out, woo, and I fucking came back to reality. I was like, oh, that's funny. I just got like, that literally just happened to me. I just did like, the concept that I talk about is literally what just happened to me in real time. This is the stuff that you guys need to understand about social media. How many of you guys know that I have a twelve month old baby girl? How many of you guys know that it was my birthday yesterday? How many of you guys know that, you know, me and my wife got married in twenty twenty one? How many of you guys know that I now like, that I own a gym, right? How many of you guys know that I used to struggle with an addiction, right?

• 13:43Speaker 00

  That I used to, that I hit rock bottom, that I lived in a trailer park? That stuff brings them in. That stuff builds a connection with people. That stuff gets them to your page. That stuff causes them to feel a genuine connection to you. When they feel a genuine connection to you is when they start responding. Because they're like, oh, I feel like I know this guy. I feel like I have a connection to this guy. Anytime I meet somebody in person, the first thing they say to me, seventy to eighty percent of the time, first thing they say, your baby girl's beautiful. Congrats on your baby girl. Love watching your family content. Love watching your family stuff. It's very rare that the first thing that people say when they meet me in person is, it's very rare.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  That they're like, oh, I like the value content that you produce on social media is amazing. Very rare. Okay? Ninety-nine percent of people say to me, when they meet me in person, your baby girl's beautiful. I love your family content. That stuff brings them in. That stuff causes them to feel a genuine connection. That stuff is what gets the comments and the engagement. And then once they get the comments and the engagement, it's like, just like I did, I got fucking sucked into Lucy's page. I'm like, I'm not interested in that fitness program right now. I'm fucking stoked with my fitness right now. I'm fucking great. But I caught myself seven reels deep in Lucy's content because I saw the fucking story she posted. And then I got into her content and she actually posted really good content.

• 15:08Speaker 00

  And I was like interested in some of the content she was posting, so I was just consuming, consuming, consuming, consuming. Like imagine if that was me and I was a weight loss client that needed to lose like twenty-five pounds. I was Lucy's avatar, like I was like a woman that needed to lose twenty pounds. I'd be like seven reels deep and I'm like, yeah, fucking sounds good to me. Bam. You know, liked some of the content. And then because I liked some of the content after feeling connected to one of the pieces of content that Lucy's stories, that Lucy posted, it's like all of a sudden I'm in a DM conversation with Lucy and I'm interested in coaching because I know who she is as a person. You guys need to zoom out from social media. All right? And you need to, you need to understand that if people are not replying to your DMs, it has nothing to fucking do with your DM script. There's no amount of finagling with your fucking openers that you can do. This isn't a finagle around with the openers type of situation.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  If people aren't replying to your DMs, this is a content problem. You need to understand that social media is all encompassing. It's like, if you're trying to sign clients from social media, it's the shit that they're seeing on your page. It's the stuff that they're seeing in your lives. It's the stuff that they're seeing before the DM happens that determines whether or not they open the DM. That is it. So stop fricking putting all of this pressure on trying to optimize the right opener when it comes to your DM strategy and focus one hundred percent of your energy on building a genuine connection with the people that are in your audience by sharing who you are as a person so that your audience can get to know you as a person.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  And it's like, if you think about all the biggest personal brands on the planet, you guys know Greg Levesque is, the owner of Bloom? Like, look at that guy. Okay? That guy's putting his fucking personality on the internet. If you look at Alex from Ozy as an example, we know the Alex from Ozy, the sleep under the bridge stuff, the stuff with him and Leila. It's like, we know how him and Leila met. We know that him and Leila like, he like, he told Leila to break up with him when he was at his rock bottom and she said, no, I'll sleep with you under a bridge, blah, blah, blah. We all know that stuff. Okay? And that is the stuff that causes people to actually reply to your DMs. All right? So hopefully this podcast was valuable. Hopefully this was insightful. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. If you guys did get value from the podcast and you want to learn more about working with me and my team

• 17:17Speaker 00

  to help you optimize your content strategy, your DM strategy, whatever, send me a DM on Instagram that says podcast. Let me know that you're listening to the podcast and we can have a conversation. Peace, love, protein. Have the best of your entire life and I'll talk to you guys in the next episode. Adios. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. Hopefully you got some value. If you did, and you want to learn more about how me and my team can help you scale your online fitness business to ten thousand dollars a month, DM me ten K on Instagram, at the real Brian Mark for more information. And I'll reach out to you to see if I can help you grow an online coaching business.