Summer Flings vs. Situationships

Join Alex as she breaks down the difference between a vacation romance and a summer fling, plus how to avoid ending up in a situationship. She shares her guide to staying casual with a hookup buddy, and reminds us why you need to cut it off at the three month mark. Alex also gives advice on setting boundaries with your partner’s mom, uninviting guests from your wedding, and managing a shopping addiction. Finally, some much needed friendship wisdom, and a reminder that if he wanted to, he would. Enjoy!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200

• 0:45Alex Cooper?

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• 1:00Speaker 01

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• 1:31Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ashley. Okay, so whenever I am picking new furniture for my house or redesigning a room, it is so important to me to make sure that it also is cohesive with the rest of my house and the vibe that I'm feeling. And I think filling your home with beautiful durable pieces from Ashley will help you create a backdrop for growing family's biggest memories, right? You want your home to feel cozy and you want it to feel like you. And thanks to features like stain-resistant performance fabric, even the messiest memories will be easy to clean. So, visit your local store or head to ashley.com to find your style.

• 2:12Alex Cooper?

  Daddy gang, welcome back to another Sunday session here on Call Her Daddy. It is your father, okay? We are currently entering the peak of summer, right? And I was recently having a little wine night with one of my friends and I was having a really productive and honest conversation with her. She's currently single and I want to share with you some of the wisdom that came out of that conversation. So for any of my girls who need to hear this, my single girls who need to hear this, listen the fuck up.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Sunday morning, Father's calling. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Every Sunday's Father's Day.

• 2:56Alex Cooper?

  That was pretty good, right? Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. So the other day I was just scrolling on my phone and one of those one year ago today notifications popped up. I usually don't pay much attention to them, but when I saw it was from my Napa trip with Lauren. I obviously had to go back through every single photo. I remember we drove up to Napa for a weekend and found the cutest farmhouse on Airbnb to stay in. The location could not have been more perfect. It was right by a vineyard and overlooked this beautiful golf course, which yes, Matt was very jealous of.

• 3:40Alex Cooper?

  During the day, we went wine tasting like a little cute couple. Then we brought our favorite bottles back to the house at night for cozy, long girl talks on the couch. Obviously, I haven't had a drink in forever since being pregnant, so I cannot wait for wine nights again soon with my girlfriends. And now that holiday travel season is finally here, all of my group chats are going off with everyone trying to coordinate dates and just figure out where we're going to stay and where we're going to go next. But looking back through those photos reminded me that some of the best parts of a trip happen back at the house, right? Like, that's why I love booking a home on Airbnb.

• 4:22Alex Cooper?

  It literally gives everyone space to just spread out and it makes every trip feel more relaxed. You can even order groceries, which I love, for your trip through Airbnb and have everything from breakfast essentials to holiday snacks delivered after you arrive. If you're planning your Thanksgiving trip or any holiday travel this season, definitely check out Airbnb before you book. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life.

• 5:07Alex Cooper?

  Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward. With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more all-in-one app, so you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings, competitive APY, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A Member FDIC.

• 5:49Alex Cooper?

  When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there. As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to help you know what to do next. Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. I'm gonna set the scene for you, okay? Picture this. The sun is very hot. You're hot. You're tan. Maybe you're three margaritas deep, okay? And you're scanning the beach for someone to make absolutely terrible decisions with. I see you. I support you.

• 6:33Alex Cooper?

  I honestly love that for you, okay? But before we dive in headfirst into a summer romance, we need to lay some of the ground rules, okay?

• 6:44Alex Cooper?

  I was thinking about it and it's like, there is a really fine line between a vacation romance, a summer fling, and then a full-blown situationship. And it is so fucking vital to your mental health and my mental health, so you don't write into me freaking out, that you know what you're getting yourself into and which one you're getting into. So, I wanna kind of break down the vacation romance. Back when I was single, which feels like ages ago, I personally loved a vacation hookup, okay? Maybe they're a local who knows all the good spots, or they're a foreigner with some like sexy accent.

• 7:27Alex Cooper?

  Maybe they're like a surf instructor with a fucking six-pack, or maybe it's just like a fucking random guy that you match with on Tinder who's staying at your same hotel. Regardless, I feel like these whirlwind vacation flings can feel so special and hot and magical. But here is what I want you all to understand. They are only hot and special and magical because they're temporary, okay? I want you guys to think about it, like when you're meeting a guy on a trip, you are on vacation mode. You're not getting Slack notifications, you're not getting emails, you don't have a to-do list, you're just focused on your tan lines and maybe who you're gonna skinny dip with, okay?

• 8:11Alex Cooper?

  So of course, no shit, that feels really euphoric, that's incredible. But that rush of excitement that you're feeling doesn't mean, now lean in and listen closely, it doesn't mean that that person is your soulmate. Listen, maybe they are. I feel like that has happened to someone obviously before, but it's very far and few in between. So I wanna be realistic today. You need to know what you're getting into, that if you try to extend a vacation fling into the real deal, into the real world...

• 8:48Alex Cooper?

  You're at your happiest state when you are on a trip. That's just a fact, right? So it is so easy to get confused and think that this person is like, what is making you happy? It's not the pina coladas. It's not the like, people that are being nice at the hotel. It's not the palm trees. Like, it must be him, it must be love. No, it's not, okay? Cause think about it, when you get back to your normal life, could you really actually imagine being with them in your normal life? Because the sexy surfer guy that you met on the tropical beach somewhere, maybe he's not so sexy when he's freeloaded your apartment with no job, no friends, and his only real connection is to you. You know what I'm saying? Do you get where I'm going here?

• 9:31Alex Cooper?

  Like, my advice today for navigating vacation romances as we kick off summer is just, let it be a beautiful memory, daddy gang. And don't try to ruin it by trying to force your vacation world into your actual normal world. Sure, sure, you fucking bitch. You can toss them an Instagram follow, totally fine. But what we don't need to do is start having a FaceTime relationship the second that your flight lands and pretending like you guys are in a full relationship. The last thing you want to do is have this really like fun weekend or week-long experience turn into a stretched out, long-distance thing.

• 10:14Alex Cooper?

  No, no, daddy gang, we don't need this. Not every single guy that you meet or girl you meet, it doesn't have to always end in a notebook romance. Do you get what I'm saying? So that is a vacation situation. So to all of my bitches that have, you know, Miami, or the Jersey Shore, or California, or whatever, wherever you're going this summer for vacation, keep that in mind, okay? It's fun, it's fun, it's fun. And then leave the fun there and go back to your reality. Okay, now I want to talk about summer flings or summer hookups, okay? Because these are an entirely different game than a vacation hookup.

• 10:57Alex Cooper?

  This is probably gonna be someone that is in your city, right? Someone that you could be seeing like semi regularly. And the most important part is this is someone that you know isn't long term material. Let's

• 11:18Alex Cooper?

  let's really let that sink in. Let's let that thing sink in, okay? A summer fling is not long term material. They have an expiration date. And that, in my opinion, when I look back on any summer fling I ever had, like, that's part of the appeal, right? Because you don't get bothered per se by parts of this person that would actually annoy you in an actual relationship, right? Like, maybe you find all of their fucking friends annoying. That's fine. You won't see them after August. You're just having really good fucking sex. Maybe you hate their fucking shitty car. Who cares? You only need it for a backseat hookup. Even if they're unemployed, even better. Actually, really fucking hot. You have more time to day drink in the sun together.

• 12:00Alex Cooper?

  It's like, your dates with a summer fling should be so light. Beach days, ice cream dates, spontaneous hookups on the beach. Like, you're not even trying to go to like white tablecloth dinners or have long emotional conversations and talks about your fucking childhood. June, July, August. That's fine. That's it. So fun. But once we hit the end of August, my biggest advice is you need to be really careful if this person is still around. You're all like, okay, Alex, this is like, what the fuck? But I'm being dead serious.

• 12:41Alex Cooper?

  If you want to keep seeing this person past that three month summer mark, this is what I realized having drinks with my girlfriend because it's happened to me and I know it could happen to you. And so I don't want it to happen to you. If you keep seeing this person past summer, you're gonna enter into situationship territory.

• 13:05Alex Cooper?

  And who the fuck wants that? No, seriously, like,

• 13:10Alex Cooper?

  because also, when I say that, the rules for a situationship are so fucking different from the rules of a summer fling. And I'm saying rules, when I'm saying this, I'm just actually trying to make you not get hurt, or not get strung along, or not string someone along. Like, I'm just trying to help you guys here. Obviously, do whatever the fuck you want. But in my opinion, no matter who the person you're talking to is during summer, by, I think, that three-month mark, someone always is gonna start to have feelings. Most of the time, it's not both, it's usually one, and all of a sudden, you find yourself like, maybe we're checking his follower list, right? And you're spiraling about like, whether he's still on dating apps or not, right?

• 13:54Alex Cooper?

  Like, you're starting to become a little creep. Like, the minute you feel like a creep, you've taken it too far, okay? Don't be a creep, okay? Get it together. Like, this is not the fun fling that you were going for all summer, carefree, ayy, ayy, ayy, so fun, so fun. And now, all of a sudden, you're a creep. How did that happen? All of a sudden, you're like, oh my god, like, I know who he fol- like, if you know at least five girls by their profile picture that he follows, creep. I've been there, creep. Like, if, like, that's not what we want, okay? And if you find yourself in this accidental

• 14:36Alex Cooper?

  situationship with someone, in my opinion, again, my opinion, it's okay if you want me to fuck off, but in my opinion, here are the rules. Number one, I think you need to be real about what you want for yourself outside of this person. Do you want to stay single? Are you ready for a real relationship? What dating goals do you have for yourself? And do they align with the person that you're seeing? And if they don't, okay, thank him for his service, but let's keep it fucking moving, and move the fuck on. So that's number one. We're clear about what we want. Number two, you need to clarify exclusivity.

• 15:19Alex Cooper?

  Honey, are you one of the 10 girls on their roster? And are you okay with him dating other people? Like, what happens if he starts to get serious with someone else? I know, obviously, the exclusivity conversation is the actual fucking worst, but... And you, obviously, like, you don't need to ask, like, "What are we?" Just try it against a sense of clarity on how many "we's", how many "we's" this person has. Because the more "we's", you're just still a creep. Um, truly, though. Like, you need to be real with yourself, because I know you bitches, because I've done it too. "Ah, I'm the only one." Or even if you find out he has a couple others, you're like, "Ah, but I'm his favorite." Excuse me.

• 16:05Alex Cooper?

  No. Again, if you're okay with that, that's what I'm saying. If you're okay with that, if you're okay of being one of many, if you're okay with kind of like sharing the cock, right? Like, ooh, you hop on that thing on Monday and I'll swirl around and sit on it on Wednesday. Like, oh my god, amazing. As long as you're okay with that. But for the most part, bitches don't fucking lie to me. We convince ourselves we're okay with it, and we're fucking rattled. We can't sleep, we're having weird dreams, we're getting heat sweats. Like, we're not okay with it. If you run into him at the bar and he's with another fucking girl, are you gonna just like take a shot and brush it off and be totally fine? Or are you gonna have a full-blown mentee B in the bathroom

• 16:50Alex Cooper?

  and drunk text him 30 fucking six times later that night? "I thought you loved me." No, you creep, he never loved you. And he let you know that, but you got so in your fucking head and you were like making up this romance novel that never existed. It never existed. So these are the things you unfortunately do need to think about, or else you're gonna get hurt, right? And if you are looking to keep someone around on your fall lineup, you need to be thinking about these things. Because when you start a relationship as chill and then you potentially want to progress it to more serious, there needs to be a fucking conversation. No one is just knowing that all of a sudden, "Our fucking orgies, now you want to be monogamous with me."

• 17:35Alex Cooper?

  Like, you gotta say it out loud, or he's not gonna know, okay? It's not gonna get easier. This is like so depressing. You're all like, okay, when does it like get fun? No, but I'm being honest. I think you need this pep talk, you guys, because if I was single, I would want to hear this too. We throw ourselves into summer. We have so much fucking fun and then all of a sudden, we think we're getting a ring and instead, you don't even get a call. You know, you don't even get a call back. It's not gonna get easier if you don't have honest conversations with yourself. And then to kind of tie this all up, I want to talk just about finally, the situationship rule number three in my head. And it's kind of what I've been saying and it's kind of a culmination of everything,

• 18:20Alex Cooper?

  but keep your expectations low. This man is not your boyfriend. He does not owe you emotional support. This is a fuck buddy with a penis and occasional non-sexual hangout privileges. But really, if we're honest with ourselves, the only reason that you guys are hanging out, it's almost like the hangout is foreplay to the casual sex. You know what I mean? So when you catch that your emotional state is starting to depend on where you are at with this guy, it is time to be real with yourself.

• 19:03Alex Cooper?

  That is the immediate red flag in your head. Wait, I'm checking his Instagram too much. I somehow know his aunt's name. I know all of his ex-girlfriend's names by heart. I actually can memorize the weddings they went to together and all of their friend group and his favorite food. You know too much. You know too much. The summer fling to situationship to relationship pipeline is rare. And it's not one that I recommend. It's really fucking rare that it works out. Also on Call Her Daddy, I've always said, we don't believe in cuffing season over here just because it gets fucking cold outside. Like, we're not like, I guess we'll just date now because, no, no, no. That's how you end up dating a guy you never even saw

• 19:48Alex Cooper?

  a future with in the first place, but it was just like, it's cold. I want to drink hot cocoa and decorate a fucking tree with him. Yeah, bitch, call your fucking mom. So, you know, daddy gang.

• 20:00Alex Cooper?

  Have fun this summer. You're all like, how? How the fuck am I supposed to have fun, Alex? You literally just made me want to be fucking celibate. No, no, no. You're gonna have fun this summer and make some memories. You know, scrapbook it up. But when summer ends, my biggest advice is you're gonna let the fling end too. I promise you will thank me in the fall. And again, there's gonna be the 1% of you. Isn't it so nice to be a part of the 1%? If you're one of those fucking bitches that meets this tanned god and he's a lifeguard or something and he's saving you and then you hook up later that night and then you go to

• 20:42Alex Cooper?

  a party and his friends are normal and eh, and then you're hooking up and then it's good and then it's good and all of a sudden it's September and then it's October and you're going to fucking festivals where you get it. What the fuck are the Halloween things called? Where you get on the thing and you go to the haunted house and you're doing all these fun little things and you're making cookies together and then he asks you to be his girlfriend. Good for you, you fucking whore. Okay. But that's not most of our experiences. It's a wham bam fuck me in the back of your truck. You accidentally put it in my asshole and now I'm in love with you. And oh my God, little did I know you have a wife. That's the reality. Men are liars. That's what this whole episode is about. Men are disgusting and men will make you think, oh yeah,

• 21:26Alex Cooper?

  baby. It was just his Monday, baby. And then his next Tuesday, he's fucking your sister and you're like, wait, I thought we were in love. You were in love with the idea of him because you met him in the summer. And I met you in the summer. That's why that song was created. Who sings that? Calvin Harris? Don't care. The point is, don't let yourself be a victim of thinking it's gonna be more than a fucking vacation little romance, a summer fling. Situationships are the fucking worst. Unless you're just horny as fuck and you just want to have so much sex. Yeah, go for it, fucking bitch. Love you. Um, okay. I hope that was helpful to kick off this glorious summer and, you know, no one should be feeling depressed. It's actually really quite helpful.

• 22:11Alex Cooper?

  We avoid feelings and we acknowledge when things are sexual and fun. And if you want to dip into your feelings, then you need to be straight up with someone. That's all, that's all it is. This is my favorite time of a Sunday session, obviously, is to take a trip. We are gonna slurp down our throats a little escargot. We're gonna look at the skinny men smoking cigarettes and we're gonna fuck them till the sun comes up because we are taking a first-class flight. Yes, on me. First-class flight. We're flying first class, we're up in the sky

• 22:54Alex Cooper?

  because we are going to a little place I'd like to go.

• 23:07Alex Cooper?

  Little place I'd like to go. Questions.

• 23:14Alex Cooper?

  Questions of the mother, the mother, the motherfucking week. Questions of the motherfucking week. Okay, um, do you guys want to answer some questions? Let's get into it.

• 23:56Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals, or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control.

• 24:39Alex Cooper?

  Your money should move you forward. With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more all-in-one apps, so you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Competitive APY, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A. Member FDIC. When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there. As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to help you know what to do next. Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice.

• 25:22Alex Cooper?

  Question one. How do I tell my boyfriend that his mom can't stay with us when she comes to town? She lives out of state and frequently visits. She always stays for a week minimum. I don't want to be that girlfriend who bitches about this, but I just love my own space and hate constantly hosting. I also feel like I'm being judged for every little thing in the house when she's here. Is it rude to ask if he can get her a hotel the next time? Oh my gosh. Okay, first of all, I so feel for you because this was like a thing Matt and I dealt with in the beginning of our relationship where Matt could host every night, every day, everywhere. And when I'm in my house, I feel like such an introvert and I had to explain to him,

• 26:07Alex Cooper?

  like I do, it's not that I don't want to host, I just need to have a better cadence with it and not be doing it so frequently because I recharge in my house and I feel like I can't be Be my full self when obviously people are here and I'm hosting. And so the fact that this is your mother in law, I can imagine how difficult of a dynamic it is to bring this up to your boyfriend. My first bit of advice is like, you need to tread really carefully because some guys with their moms are such fucking freaks. And they act actually like they're still sucking from their mom's titty. So just be weary. You know what I mean? Also, that's like a good sign. Like if he's like actually crazy about it, he probably wants to fuck his mom, but that's for another time.

• 26:49Alex Cooper?

  It doesn't feel like he wants to fuck his mom. It more feels like he's treating it like this is his mom and he's comfortable with his mom being there and this is your mother in law. So this is your space. It's weird to have a woman or anyone staying in your home for a week. All like multiple times during the year. That's a lot. So I'm validating you. That's a lot. If it was a weekend. Like twice a year, totally fine. A week every few months, I would be like, I'm, I gotta move out. If anything, get me a fucking hotel room. Let me go for a fucking little spa trip while you and your mom bang it up. Um, but no, I think this would be my advice to you.

• 27:30Alex Cooper?

  I think you could sit your boyfriend down and be like, hey, I was just thinking about it because I love your mom so much and I always think about it like, wow, she's so lovely and respectful when she comes. And I do love spending time with her, but I feel like a week when she's here is just a lot and it almost has nothing to do with her. It has to do with me of like having someone in our space for a week. Um, I feel like I can't be my true self. Like if I want to just go sit and relax after a long day of work and be in silence, like obviously I'm not going to ignore your mom while she's sitting in the living room and stuff, or we don't get as much alone time, or we don't get to decompress after going to dinners with her. Like

• 28:15Alex Cooper?

  it's hard for me to find a balance and it's impacting me in a way that I don't like how I'm feeling. So I was wondering if we could compromise and either have her. Stay on weekends, but then if she's gonna stay the full week, maybe we get her a hotel. So like during the work week, we can just have our normal life and then we can obviously go to dinners or whatever with her, but I just need a little help with boundary setting here because I don't want this to come off like I don't love your mom. I'm just feeling like I don't love people in my space for that amount of time because girlfriend, who the fuck wants their mother-in-law living with them for a fucking week? I'm sorry, Lisa, I love you. If you're listening to this bitch fucking knows. I'm like, my mother-in-law would know. She literally will be here and she'll be like, okay,

• 29:00Alex Cooper?

  you want me to leave? I'm like, yes, love you. Bye. Like, I also don't love the lack of awareness from your mother-in-law. That's why I'm saying you have to tread lightly because from my experience with my mom and Matt's mom, like, they know we love them and we also like our alone time to the point where I'm like, I'm surprised she hasn't been like, oh my gosh, you guys, I feel like I'm like two in your space. I'm gonna give you guys time. That's where I'm like, ooh, this could be tricky. So maybe compromise on starting with more of like a, maybe she stays for the weekend, or overall, let's just get her a hotel super close by. And if your boyfriend reacts like a crazy person and defends his mom and acts like you're crazy, I'm here to tell you, you're not crazy.

• 29:44Alex Cooper?

  Mother-in-law's in your space, that is a recipe for a mental break, honestly. And we don't need that, you know what I mean? So guard your boundaries and, but have a calm conversation with him. Also, last point, and this is really how you'll probably even know if you want to marry this man. When he brings this up to his mother, if he is down for what you're presenting, in no fucking world should this man present it to his mom like, oh, it was Casey's idea. No, no, no, we're presenting this as a united front. If anything, you take the fucking hit bitch, cuz you came out of her,

• 30:23Alex Cooper?

  okay? It's your mother. She'll love you forever, but it's too dicey. So make sure that he is presenting it in a way that's not making you look in a bad light, cuz then it's just gonna be a whole new spew of problems and you don't need that. Next question. I'm getting married this fall and made a mistake. I sent a save the date to a coworker I no longer want at the wedding. No one at my office likes her, but I always gave her a chance until she fucked me over in front of my boss last week. I know it's my wedding and I can invite who I want, but I'm worried it will come off in a bad way if I don't follow through. Will I look like the mean girl? How do I handle this at work and what do I even say to her?

• 31:06Alex Cooper?

  Okay, first of all, that is really fucking shitty, but my first note to you is your wedding is not a charity event. And your wedding is also not a coworkers mingling happy hour event. This is your wedding and it is a day to be completely about you. And so if you're having regret, and also it's one thing if you're having regret, it's another thing if this person literally just fucked you over at work. You, I get are in a weird position, but I would rather you be in a weird position to end this.

• 31:40Alex Cooper?

  Rather than get to your wedding and have someone there that you don't like. So yes, it's going to be a little uncomfortable, but let's also make sure that you're not compromising just to make someone feel good. So this would be my advice.

• 31:55Alex Cooper?

  It's tough because since it's a work dynamic and you're going to see her, obviously, when you come back from your wedding. I don't think you need to tell her. Obviously it's up to you, but like you have to see this woman every day. It's one thing if it's a friendship breakup, but like this is someone you work with, right? So my advice would be you send a text or you say it in person. You said you only sent a save the date. You didn't send them like the official now new invite of like details and everything of the wedding. So I think you could text her and say, hey, um, I wanted to let you know that over the past month or two, my husband and I have been going through our wedding list. And due to a bunch of different circumstances, we are pulling back on the number of guests.

• 32:37Alex Cooper?

  And I don't think you're going to be able to come now. And I just wanted to let you know, no hard feelings and appreciate your support.

• 32:49Alex Cooper?

  And leave it at that. And. I think that if she comes at you and is anything other than totally understand, fuck that bitch because oh now you oh you're gonna come at me for a second. First of all, why would you shouldn't even be at my wedding. You should have the fucking self-awareness to not even think you should come. Hopefully she was never even gonna come, right? Because she just fucked you over in front of your boss. But if she gets nasty with it, like wow, other coworkers are going and I'm not coming, like got it, like Macy, like you're a fucking cunt. I think you just leave it. I don't think in the wake of your wedding, I don't think that you need drama and sending this text is gonna give you temporary anxiety, but then it's going to alleviate so much anxiety on the day that

• 33:33Alex Cooper?

  actually matters. So be straight up, but not fully unless you want to and you can be like, hey, I don't really appreciate everything that went down the other week with our boss. I felt like you were undermining me and it made me look in a really bad light. And I just, I know I sent you a save the date. And I don't even have like ill will towards you, but because it is my wedding, I don't want to have anyone there that I'm not on like perfect, great terms with. And I don't feel that way with you right now. And so respectfully, I'm going to decline the offer. And maybe when I'm back, we can look to like repair things. But for right now, I want to have a clear head for my wedding and I don't want drama. Either one, being more direct or a little less direct, do it. You

• 34:15Alex Cooper?

  will feel so much fucking better. I remember Matt and I had a couple people, but one person kind of like more specifically that we just like, we knew they would think they were gonna be invited to our wedding. And at the same time, we were like, I don't want to invite them. And we almost were having like over dinner conversations when we would talk about our wedding leading up to, we would find ourselves getting anxiety about this one person. And it was someone more in Matt's life. And then finally, I remember just being like, babe, Pause. Listen to us. We're not even focusing anymore on like how this is a day about us and our

• 34:58Alex Cooper?

  love and our marriage and our family. Like this, we have our answer. And it was so fucking hard, but I'm so happy we didn't invite them. And I look back and we still say we made the right decision. Um, so trust your gut on this one. And I'm really fucking sorry. That's so shit. You don't want drama around your wedding, but to make you feel better, everyone has drama around their wedding. And if this is, this is the peak of it for you, girl, girl, you got it out fucking easy. Okay. Next question. Um, okay. Hi, Father. How do I stop comparing my boyfriend to my friends' partners? I'm 29 and most of my friends are in their early 30s with partners in

• 35:42Alex Cooper?

  their mid 30s. My boyfriend is 26, so he's kind of a decade behind when it comes to career and finances. I get insecure sometimes because he still is starting out and we don't really have the same financial stability as my friends and their partners. I know it's not his fault. He has a good job and is working hard, but I can't help feeling a little jealous when I see my friends' partners and what they bring to the table. Okay. Oh, my God.

• 36:11Alex Cooper?

  I have a lot of thoughts. And I'm going to just be really honest. And obviously, you know your situation better than anyone. So, and I don't have all the details, but I'm just gonna kind of rattle off some of my thoughts. Number one, for me, I think I would have a hard time

• 36:32Alex Cooper?

  dating a younger man. Um, more in that like 2030 range. Obviously, if you were like in your 50s, 60s, redating, like, sure, but it's like that pivotal time where I feel like maturity is a big, obvious, glaring thing. Like, it's like you can almost tell, like, when someone's in their 20s versus their 30s, right? And my worry for you is when you're writing this, if you felt really secure with your relationship, what you're saying, I guess you're saying you're, you don't, you're saying you get insecure sometimes. My worry is, this is something that is Highlighting a bigger issue in your relationship. If you were madly in love with this person and you thought they were so talented and smart and all the things,

• 37:16Alex Cooper?

  I don't know if you would be saying this. Again, I think it's normal to compare. That's literally all we do in life, right? You're comparing how you look compared to someone. You're comparing your job, your house, your finances, your looks, your outfits, your family dynamics, your status, like all of it. That's normal. But the fact that you're feeling insecure about your partner, I've had that in a different way and like, it doesn't go away. It doesn't go away because if you really are in love with someone and you feel good about them, you would find holes in your friends' partners and be like, yeah, but they have that, but like he has this. You know what I mean? And I worry for you that him being younger and not where you want him to technically be,

• 37:59Alex Cooper?

  could potentially be something that keeps eating at you throughout your relationship. I could be completely wrong and I may be projecting because I have a friend that was in the situation a few years ago, where it was just like, eventually she was like, I feel like I'm dating a kid. And I didn't think that the four or five year age gap was gonna impact me, but I guess men naturally are more immature than women and it takes them longer to mature. So there's a lot of factors that are up against you. Um, so I think you need to sit with yourself and recognize, is this literally just because of a money thing? That is so fucking normal to feel insecure financially at stages in your life, when other people have not that burden, totally fair.

• 38:44Alex Cooper?

  But look underneath the hood and is it like, or are you also kinda like, I feel like you're, I'm insecure because I'm dating him and he's not this and he's not that and he's not this. And we're all in our 30s at this stage and he's like a baby and just graduated college and is trying to figure his shit out. Um, but I'm sorry, that, I'm sure that's weighing on you, but you'll know the answer. Like you will know, would it solve everything if he had all the money in the world? I don't know. You have, you will know that within yourself. And last thing I'll leave you with, and this is something that I talk about with my friends and Matt all the time is like, please keep in mind when you're looking at your friends and their relationships, It doesn't mean that they have it all too, right?

• 39:28Alex Cooper?

  Like you are looking at something that is clearly an insecurity of yours. They have more financial stability. Therefore, they are able to do more things. They can go to more concerts. They can go out for more dinners. They can go to nicer places, whatever it be. That's your insecurity in your relationship. So it's you're projecting and you're looking at them being like, oh, they have it all. But they all may be going through their own shit. Maybe there's some of your friends that like haven't had sex in months and their romantic, physical connection isn't there. Maybe there's people that are actually overspending and it looks like they're enjoying themselves, but they're also in financial situation that they're not feeling like. We don't know. Maybe they're fighting, maybe they're, or they're great. Regardless, we always look at people.

• 40:10Alex Cooper?

  And when they have something that we don't have, we can get insecure and feel like, damn, I, I want that, but really you don't want that. Cause that's not your relationship. You know that you don't have the same type as your friend. You know that that guy wouldn't be as good for you because you know what I mean? So everything is relative, but it's tough. I completely acknowledge that. I have definitely been victim of it.

• 40:35Alex Cooper?

  Okay. Oh, my God. I chose this one for all the girls. Daddy, I need help. I have a serious shopping problem. I spend way too much money on shoes, clothes, jewelry, purses, everything. Fashion's always been how I express myself and buying new stuff makes me feel like I'm keeping up. But I'm supposed to be saving for a wedding and a house later this year, and I cannot stop spending. I went through my closet the other day and have a full blown, had a full blown panic attack when I realized how much I've spent on stuff I've worn maybe once. I don't know how to stop. Please help me get it together. Girl, you came to the right place. Um, I totally get it. Like I have been someone that on Sundays, to not get the Sunday scaries,

• 41:19Alex Cooper?

  it relaxes me to watch Grey's Anatomy and scroll on and shop. And maybe I'm not even buying some of the shit, but it's nice and fun to scroll. I think that's like a normal thing for girls to shop. It does sound like you obviously have a little bit more of a problem where you can't stop yourself. You're even saying that there's some stuff in your closet that you have not even like worn. Here would be my advice. I don't know if this is a little too extreme, but maybe try it, it could help. I think maybe you should go on a 30 day fashion shopping fast. And I think you should, even if you want to like go and shop online, but don't buy anything, even just like put links into your notes app and be like, once the 30 days is over,

• 42:04Alex Cooper?

  I want to buy this. And then if you still want to buy it, well, that's on you. But 30 days without shopping. And instead, what I would do, and I've actually been annoyed with myself, and I think everyone does this, you buy something and you barely wear it. I would urge you in these 30 days of your shopping fast to go into your closet and do a couple of things. Number one, put outfits together with things that you haven't worn and force yourself to wear it that day. Like, I think we all get into a habit of kind of having a closet of stuff, but you wear pretty similar stuff. You have your go-to shirt, you have your go-to jacket, pants, all the things. And if you haven't worn it in a while, force yourself to wear it. And if you are like, I actually don't want to wear it,

• 42:44Alex Cooper?

  why don't you go and sell it? Go on Poshmark, go on eBay, go on the real, real, like, go and sell the shit and make your money back of the stuff that you're actually not buying and you just bought on a shopping whim. But overall, I think you need to look at yourself, and if you can't make it the 30 days, you may actually need to get into therapy and get some help because this does sound a little bit like an addiction and you don't want to continue your life where you are blowing all of your finances on clothes that you're also barely fucking wearing. But yeah, let's do a fast. Maybe I'll do it with you. Who knows? Okay, this one's fucking heavy.

• 43:42Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. I feel like it's that time of the year where everyone starts to slow down a little bit. We're reflecting on this past year, maybe even, you know, we're writing down a few

• 44:27Alex Cooper?

  goals for next year. And if you're starting a business and that is something that's on your list, thankfully the internet has made it easier than ever to do. No matter what stage you're at, Shopify is the best place to start and grow a business. Personally, I have loved how their Shop Pay feature streamlines the entire checkout process. With the holidays coming up, my online shopping addiction is obviously, it's at its peak right now. And so I always get excited when I see that little purple Shop Pay button at checkout. It makes buying something so fast and easy. Instead of digging through and finding my credit card and typing everything in, you can just check out in one click. Yes, I want those sweatpants. Yes, another pair of sweatpants.

• 45:12Alex Cooper?

  And for businesses, that also means fewer carts abandoned and more sales. I also love that Shopify lets me run my entire business straight from my phone so I can upload new merch, check on orders and see what you guys are loving from literally anywhere. It does save me so much time and it lets me actually enjoy the season while growing the business. So are you ready to add entrepreneur to your list of accomplishments? Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy.

• 45:45Alex Cooper?

  Daddy, I don't know what to do. My best friend just told me that she's been having an affair with a married man, with kids. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years, and apparently this has been going on ever since. I told her straight up, I don't think it's okay, but she said she didn't care, and she's still doing it. I'm honestly sick over it. I don't agree with it at all, and it's making me question who she even is. But she's been my best friend for 15 years. I feel stuck. I can't talk to anyone about it, and I just don't know what to do. Dude.

• 46:17Alex Cooper?

  That is fucked behavior. Um, damn. I'm really sorry, because when you added in the 15-year friendship, I was like, fuck that. I was gonna be like, fuck this bitch, and then I'm like, oh my god, I get it. It's your friend of 15 years, and she basically told you, fuck off, I'm not gonna listen to you. Where does that leave you? My opinion, if I'm putting myself in your shoes, that leaves you to realize, all you can do is control yourself in this moment. There is no reason for you to try to convince her, stop having this affair. It's only gonna rupture your relationship even more. And if she doesn't wanna listen to you, she's not gonna listen to you. We're all adults here, you know?

• 47:00Alex Cooper?

  So if anything, the only reason for you to keep going at her and trying to get her to stop would be to fulfill something in yourself, to make you feel better, like you tried to get her away from this person, and you're trying to save this family. I think you need to just let it go. And I think the hard thing about friendships is, especially long-term friendships, is sometimes we have such an image of our friends from when we met them, and our early days of our relationship, that we don't actually look at ourselves and be like, how has my friendship with this person progressed? And do I like who they are as a person? And do I like how I feel around them? And this is a perfect example of someone like, yes, there is history there,

• 47:43Alex Cooper?

  but this is like a pretty fucked up thing for a person to do. So I think you need to pull back. And the hope is you pull back, you focus on yourself, you don't let this take up space in your brain because it's icky and it's like foul behavior like I, I agree, I couldn't be around a friend that's having a fucking affair with a married man with kids like it is gross. But the more you focus on yourself, the one hope would be she eventually comes to you in a month, six months, a year and is like, I am so fucking sorry. I don't know what the fuck I was going through and I don't know what that was feeding in me and I look back and I was a shell of a human being of myself. After my breakup, I threw myself into this. I thought

• 48:26Alex Cooper?

  it would make me feel better. It didn't. And like, I'm so fucking sorry for pushing you away. And I am disgusted with myself. Like I really, I'm gonna get into therapy and I don't know what the fuck happened. That would be the hope and the dream. Unfortunately, I think as adults, we have to start to recognize, people are gonna make weird fucking decisions, right? We've all been there. Your friend marries a guy that you're like, he's like literally, emotionally or verbally or hopefully not, but like physically abusive and we all can't sit here and watch this happen and feel good. So you probably stopped going over for dinners as much. And you have friends who become so angry about their situation, whether it's their job or their relationship, that they start to be an angry drunk when you guys go out to dinners,

• 49:11Alex Cooper?

  right? And you're like, I can't keep wasting my Fridays on the one time of the week that I get to go out and have you like yelling at me. Like everyone has that thing that you're kind of like, I don't want to be a part of this anymore. News slash, you don't have to be a part of it anymore. And I know it feels weird because when you're the person that's not being the aggressor or doing the wrong thing, you almost feel this sense of like, but I can't give up on them. But it would be weird to pull away. No, no, no. At some point, yes, after you have said something to your friend, after you've actively tried to help them and they actively look you in the face and say, fuck off, basically, you do then have to take some accountability to pull away and recognize you can only fully control yourself. And if they want to come back, they will come back. But maybe.

• 49:58Alex Cooper?

  Maybe this is kind of the end of a beautiful friendship for what it was for a while. And maybe you can start to look at, has it actually been that good? The past year or two? Has she been in tune with you and has she been a good friend? I don't know. And if she has, then we can hope that she comes back and she fucking. Hopefully, the wife walks in on them fucking. She runs down the street. She breaks her fucking leg. Well, no, but you know what I mean? And she has a wake up call. She almost gets hit by a car. She's in the hospital. She calls you and she says, I'm never gonna fuck a married man again. You never know. Something could fall out of the sky, hit her in the head. She's concussed. She wakes up, ah, she's a better woman. We can hope, but we can't expect.

• 50:44Alex Cooper?

  Okay, next. This is fucking tough. Are we ready? All right, daddy, this might be a weird one, but I need help. How do I tell my best friend that she needs to chill on the filler? It started with a little botox, then some lip filler. And now it's every month she's getting something else put in her face. She's already so beautiful and now she's starting to look kind of unrecognizable. Is it my job as her best friend to tell her to stop? Or is this just a canon event I can't interfere with?

• 51:16Alex Cooper?

  Damn.

• 51:18Alex Cooper?

  That's really fucking tough because. I'm trying to think like what I would do because a part of me feels.

• 51:28Alex Cooper?

  I feel for you, right? Because it's like. Bringing up your friends' looks in general. Is tough. And. I think. Someone that's gonna get an excessive amount of work done. And that like, it's one thing to be like botox, yay, a little bit of filler, woo. And then once they get to the point where it's like, girl, like your face is looking like a fucking cinder block. You.

• 51:55Alex Cooper?

  Clearly, there's something going on with her, right? Like, there is an insecurity in her, there's something going on, and she's taking it too far, and she doesn't see it. It's like fucking eyebrow blindness that everyone talks about on TikTok, or it's filler blindness, like, I get that, or it's blonde blindness, where it's like, "I'm not blonde enough," and it's like, "You have three strands of hair left on your head, and they are platinum fucking blonde." Number one, my piece of advice, you have to kind of assess, what is your relationship with this person? Because I'm thinking about, like, my best friends and I, if any of us are ever gonna get something done, we FaceTime and call that person. And it's like, "Okay, wait, I was thinking about doing this, like, do you think I need it, or am I being fucking insane?" So, if my friend, I feel like I would have a gauge to be like, "No, no, no, wait, because last time you did this, don't do that."

• 52:40Alex Cooper?

  If you don't have that relationship, this is how I would approach it.

• 52:44Alex Cooper?

  I think you sit her down, not actually, like, schedule a meeting, but like, whether you're having drinks, or you're at a dinner, or you're just hanging, and I think you say, "Hey, I wanted to bring something up that I, like, hate that I'm bringing this up, but I know that if the roles were reversed, I would want you to say something to me, and I want you to know, I love you so fucking much, and I think you're so beautiful, and you're my best friend, and I'm only saying this because I would want you to do the same for me. I have obviously noticed that you've been getting more stuff done lately, and I just wanted to check in with you and see, like,

• 53:28Alex Cooper?

  how you're doing and make sure you're okay." I think you have to make sure, did you kind of like, notice my wording here, where I'm not like, "So, I've noticed that you've been getting a lot done to your face, and you look so different, and it is starting to look botched, so I'm just wondering, like, why you're doing that, because like, it's not looking good." No, don't use the word "botched," don't even use the words, like, "You're looking different." Like, obviously, she can't see it. If she knew, like, "Wow, I look fucking crazy," but it takes a while to get to the point where you recognize that, right? And so I think it's being very loving, and it's just saying, "As a friend, I would want you to do the same for me." And then again, like, I feel like the theme of this is like,

• 54:12Alex Cooper?

  "You can only go so far." If she's like, "What are you talking about?" and blows up on you, She is eventually gonna realize it, right? Because one day, a doctor's gonna be like, "I can't put another syringe in your fucking face." Or, she's gonna take it so far that then all of a sudden, she'll have her own recognition because her fucking mom's gonna send her a picture of herself when she was a child. And she'll be like, "That wasn't me." And they're like, "No Rebecca, it's literally you." Butt post, nose job, chin implant, jaw implant. You do look a little different. And she'd be like, "Oh my god, I was so cute. Why do I look like that?" Like, something will break for her, but maybe you can get in there and just make her not feel insecure. Is the biggest fucking thing. You have been there, we've all been there.

• 54:54Alex Cooper?

  If a friend brings something up to you and they do it in a way that you can recognize it in the moment, but because they're being so aggressive, you get defensive. And it's like, maybe later that night, it will actually sink in and you'll be able to handle it. But then you're like, "Well, I'm not gonna talk to her about it because she was so judgy and so rude about how she handled it." So, it's with grace and it's with ease, but again, everyone's gonna do what they wanna do. So, you don't wanna fuck up your relationship by telling her that her face is fucking botched. You know? Okay, this is one that I really feel is good to end with because it honestly kinda, kinda goes back to the beginning of this episode. "Hi Daddy. I went out last weekend and met this really cute guy.

• 55:38Alex Cooper?

  We talked seriously all night and had the best chemistry. He ended up walking me home and asking for my number, but didn't try to kiss me or anything. It's been a week and he hasn't texted me. I found his Instagram and I'm thinking about DMing him, but is that crazy? I wanna shoot my shot, but also I know that if he wanted to, he would. I kinda just want to know whether he's into me or not, so I can mentally compartmentalize him."

• 56:05Alex Cooper?

  So...

• 56:09Alex Cooper?

  Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. You have your answer. You know what I mean? Like, let's use those context clues. He walked you home. He didn't try to kiss you. He asked for your number. He asked for your number. He didn't give you his number. And when he asked for your number, he didn't say texting you now, so you have it. He didn't call you saying, that's my number. Did that work? Did I write that down? He just, oh, thanks for your number. Bye, walked away. It's been a week. You haven't heard from him. You haven't heard from him. You haven't heard from him. He has your number. He hasn't heard from... No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Ole, ole, ole. He fucking hates you. He doesn't hate you, but he doesn't like you. You know what I mean?

• 56:53Alex Cooper?

  We gotta just... We gotta just fucking take it on the chin and roll. If a man takes your number and doesn't fucking text you immediately in the next 24 hours, 48 hours, it's a no for him, dog. You know? And I feel like you going and looking at his Instagram and then you're gonna try to DM him? Why do you have to DM him? Let's remember, because he didn't give you his number. You know what I mean? For all you know, Samantha has a full girlfriend. Like, this is something that is so hard in the moment to notice, and I so get that. But that's why you need that fatherly advice to smack it out of you, to be like, no, no, no. Why do you have to DM him? Because you don't have the number.

• 57:38Alex Cooper?

  He asked for your number and he has never texted you again. I know it's hard, and I think this is now to be less of aggressive. Why I think it's so hard sometimes is

• 57:51Alex Cooper?

  when you have a really fucking fun night with someone, there's two things that can happen. Number one, you can be misinterpreting the fun night as, oh, my God, this is literally the beginning of the rest of my life. And they're blown off steam after work and they're just having a nice time. And if it was you or fucking Samantha, or Caroline, or Grandma fucking Eda, he would've talked to anyone that night at the bar. You know what I mean? Like, he just was looking for a little bit of comfort and a good time. Talk and then that was it. So you have to compartmentalize like this was a good moment, but that doesn't mean shit. It was a good moment, but how did he act after the good moment? It's easy to have a fun night where you don't know someone's backstory. You don't know their baggage.

• 58:34Alex Cooper?

  You don't know jack shit. They're just a fucking pretty girl in a bar and a hot guy in a bar, and you buy a drink together, you hit it off, he walks you home and he fucking never talks to you again. That is the easiest thing to actually do. And the harder thing to do is follow up and actually have a date and now have a conversation and have a planned situation and he's not doing that. It sucks though. I think I've been there where I've, you know, met a guy at a bar and been like, oh my God, that was so fucking fun. And then he just didn't give me the same energy back the following days. And I was like, got it. This is kind of weird. Clearly I'm misreading this, so I'm gonna pull back. And I think that's all you can do. Wait in the wings. If he ever texts you, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you

• 59:18Alex Cooper?

  the cheat code and just give you the answer now. He's never gonna text you. So go back out to the bars, find another guy and I actually was gonna say, make sure you get their number next. I think you now know, if a man ever asks for your number and he doesn't give you his back or he doesn't text you immediately, he's kind of trying to awkward exit. We've all done that. Daddy gang, we have all done that. And I have done that. I have done that to friends of Matt's that are like periphery friends that like we run into and they're like, oh my God, well, oh, you're like, oh my God, we should get together. Oh, totally, totally. Give me your number. Give me that number. Give me that number. And I am never gonna fucking text you.

• 1:00:03Alex Cooper?

  Not because, all for different reasons. Sometimes it's like because there's nothing to say. And in the moment, understandably, if someone, I give credit, there's moments in work settings where someone's like, oh yeah, maybe we'll, we know, but we're trying to end the conversation and it's weird to just be like bye sometimes and people word vomit. So they're like, let's get a little drink. And it's like, we don't need to get a drink. We just did business. We're all good. Email me. You know what I mean? So sometimes it's word vomit and that's what I worry for you. He's standing on your stoop. Your hair is in the breeze. You're kind of leaning forward, like trying to kiss him. And he's like, why don't you give me your number? Why don't you give me your number and I'll, uh, I'll hit you up? It's almost like a cop out where it's like an easy little like make them think I'm coming back.

• 1:00:45Alex Cooper?

  He's never coming back. So that sucks, but at least you didn't like date him for a year and he's a narcissist. There's always a silver lining. Daddy gang, thank you so much for tuning in on this Sunday session. It feels right to be back every Sunday is Father's Day. You know what I mean? Me, you, and just some really hard truths, but good truths. Cause it's important, right? We need to be self-aware and we need to keep it fucking moving. We don't have time for pieces of shit. We don't have time for people that are going to waste our time. And we don't have time for people that aren't going to treat us right. So love you bitches. I'll see you in two Sundays. Love you. Bye.

• 1:01:47Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches. Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by American Eagle. Holiday outfits just got way easier. American Eagle's new arrivals are basically everything you need right now.

• 1:02:30Alex Cooper?

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• 1:03:12Alex Cooper?

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