Pod Insights Call Her Daddy Podcast Hannah Berner: How to Scare Men (FBF) About this episode Join Alex in the studio for a chaotic and hilarious catch up with Hannah Berner. Hannah and Alex discuss blacking out on reality TV, getting rejected by Bucky The Mascot (iykyk), and weaponizing astrology to scare off men at the bar. Hannah explains her stance on al dente d*ck, Alex reveals the wildest things she’s ever stolen from a man’s apartment, and the girls give a few much needed PSA’s. This episode is unhinged and hilarious girl talk - get ready to giggle your ass off.
Transcript 15,254 words · 3 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Alex Cooper? Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200 career-focused programs, where you want with 100% online courses, and how you want with no set class times. Basically, you get to call the shots from day one. Visit SNHU.edu/callherdaddy to learn more. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Bright by Scotch Bright. Daddy gang, a lot of us obviously take pride in where we live, right? We want the decor to look good and then we want the lighting and the cleaning and all of it. And you want it to look spotless and you want it to look really nice, right?
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2:08 Alex Cooper? It's honestly an amazing feature that gives women more control over their rides. Sometimes we all just want a ride that feels a little more comfortable and chill. So if you haven't used it yet, Uber's new Women Preferences feature is available now in the Uber app. Learn more on the Uber app.
2:26 Alex Cooper? What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.
2:35 Alex Cooper? Hannah Berner, welcome back to Call Her Daddy.
2:38 Speaker 01 This is incredible because you did not have to have me back.
2:40 Alex Cooper? No.
2:41 Speaker 01 Bitch, you did not have to.
2:42 Alex Cooper? No, I was just thinking about this. I think you, Lauren, and Harry are like the most reoccurring guests I've ever had on Call Her Daddy. I've never had-
2:51 Speaker 01 Well, that was my only goal in life.
2:52 Alex Cooper? I know.
2:52 Speaker 01 Was to be a regular on Call Her Daddy. And I was like, but this, I do have to say, it feels like a family reunion whenever I come on.
2:59 Alex Cooper? I know. Everybody that's not watching, so Hannah texted me and she told me that she wanted to give me a heads up that she would be wearing jorts.
3:10 Speaker 01 Out of respect.
3:10 Alex Cooper? Out of respect, to which I said, "Thank you," because that does shift the energy.
3:13 Speaker 01 Completely.
3:14 Alex Cooper? I'm going to be honest, when I think of jorts for women, I think of jorts that are just like, kind of the color of like my jeans.
3:21 Speaker 01 Like what's, like Stassi wearing like hot, cute jorts.
3:24 Alex Cooper? Yes.
3:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, we didn't go that direction.
3:26 Alex Cooper? You walked in, I said, "These look more like floods," where like your pants are literally just like too short for you.
3:32 Speaker 01 I look like I stole a kid's pants and put them on.
3:35 Alex Cooper? But Hannah, I'm gonna have to get a video of you because to be fair-
3:38 Speaker 01 Do you guys have video on this pod?
3:40 Alex Cooper? Yeah, this is a, fuck you. This is a camera. I love how I like thought for five seconds you were being serious. I was like, yeah, wait, look into the camera.
3:47 Speaker 01 Well, also, this is the thing about me that I learned in college. I have a long torso and nubby legs. I didn't know that. I didn't know I had short legs until someone told me, and then my whole world shifted.
3:56 Alex Cooper? Who the fuck told you you had short legs?
3:58 Speaker 01 Someone who had, who was jealous of my long torso, because it goes on forever, and I've learned to embrace it, a la Britney Spears.
4:05 Alex Cooper? Wait, was it a woman or a man?
4:06 Speaker 01 It was definitely like one of my good friends who was like, "Well, Hannah has a long torso," and I go, "Has everyone been talking about my torso for years and no one told me?"
4:14 Alex Cooper? That's like when I was in college and the girl told me that everyone was talking about my banana roll under my butt. Do you know what a banana roll is, Hannah?
4:19 Speaker 01 No, and I don't want to know because now I'm going to be paranoid about what a banana roll is. It sounds cute.
4:22 Alex Cooper? No, I only have one cheek. It's just like a little extra fat under the lip of your butt cheek, and they would talk about how I have a banana roll. So then, of course, in my most insecure days, when I got to New York City, I remember I went to a surgeon and asked, "Is there a way to remove this little chubba?"
4:36 Speaker 01 You go, "During a dark time."
4:38 Alex Cooper? During a really dark time, I went to this woman and I asked her, can you slice it off? And she's like, sweetie, it is not a big deal.
4:43 Speaker 01 A banana roll is one of those things that is girl on girl crime. No man has ever been like, whoa, I'm not fucking that girl. She got that banana roll thing.
4:53 Alex Cooper? Thank you, Hannah, because you know what? More to love, a little extra, oh, it's just like a labia, an extra big labia.
4:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, yes. Make that labia clap, make that labia clap.
5:02 Alex Cooper? The last time I saw you was on tour, my tour. And I remember when I was sitting down, creating my guest list and Boston was the opening. I was like, first of all, I was just shitting my pants and I was even doing a live tour. And I was like, who, I need someone I'm going to feel so comfortable with that will like lights out, kill it. So if I fail, if I freeze, if I fuck up, this person can just like take the thing and run with it.
5:24 Speaker 01 I also feel like you knew that I would never be judgy. Like if we failed, we failed together and we would make fun of ourselves.
5:30 Alex Cooper? If I was cringe, you'd be like, you did, you did good. We can work, like you would be honest with me, but you wouldn't like make me feel bad. You would just be like, I've got you. I'll come to the next fucking show.
5:38 Speaker 01 I really felt like a teammate. I felt like I got called up to the majors just to like vibe for a sec.
5:45 Alex Cooper? So Hannah comes on tour with me, we open in Boston and I will never forget, you walk out. Actually, you didn't walk out. Hannah starts doing the worm. And although I think you like, were, did you do the worm or did you chest bump the ground and bounce back up? It was.
5:59 Speaker 01 Okay, that's, that was an attack. That was an attack. I risked my life for you. I risked my whole body. My lower back was fucking killing me from the flight. Anyway, we'll talk about that later, but then it's so loud from the cheering, we can't hear each other.
6:11 Alex Cooper? This is what we need to get into because no, this is, okay. So when you think of standing on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of people, you're already like, ooh, I'm, I'm getting anxious. I'm going to shit my pants. Literally, you guys, I could not hear a word that Hannah was saying.
6:29 Speaker 01 I couldn't hear a word I was saying either.
6:30 Alex Cooper? So picture this, I'm asking Hannah something about like dating.
6:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:34 Alex Cooper? And all I remember is you start speaking and I read your lips and you say bondage. And I am literally like, where the fuck is she going with this? And then the crowd is laughing, but I have no idea what you're saying. So I start fake laughing.
6:48 Speaker 01 I'm like, so I, you were like laughing at parts that like weren't really the right part. So I could tell and you had like a little fear in your eyes and I was, I just go, I'm like, I need to start monologuing because we're not going back and forth here. So I would monologue and then like give it to you. But like, we were fighting for our life in the best way. Like, the high was incredible, though.
7:06 Alex Cooper? It was insane. It was-
7:08 Speaker 01 But good energy.
7:09 Alex Cooper? It was perfect. And now you're here and you have a fucking Netflix special. Like-
7:12 Speaker 01 It's crazy.
7:13 Alex Cooper? We're gonna talk about the Netflix special a little bit later because I want to go through it all.
7:16 Speaker 01 Shelf it.
7:17 Alex Cooper? But first, we're just gonna have a good convo.
7:20 Speaker 01 Let's get silly.
7:21 Alex Cooper? I just want to get silly with you and I have so many things I'm thinking about for like the summer, girlies that are listening. I think we have a lot to talk about.
7:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
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9:09 Alex Cooper? Visit SNHU.edu/callherdaddy to learn more. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. Daddy gang, you know I'm a little skeptical of the internet at times, aren't we all? But one thing I absolutely love is how much easier it has made starting a business. No matter what stage you're at, Shopify is the best place to start and grow a business. With Shopify, you get to own your storefront while still being discovered everywhere, from Google to YouTube to the shop app. They also let you sell across TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, even directly inside AI chats. So your customers can shop wherever they already are,
9:53 Alex Cooper? and your products can appear directly alongside content. So as someone is scrolling, they just become part of their feed. Shopify truly makes it so much easier for customers to discover and buy products wherever they're browsing. And this has been such a game changer for Unwell. I love being able to sell merch directly on all of the Call Her Daddy channels. So everything is in one place for the daddy gang. So, ready to add entrepreneur to your list of accomplishments? Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy. First and foremost, because maybe if someone hasn't listened to our previous episodes, could you just share from your recollection? It's okay if you don't remember. Like, what are some of your, like, best Call Her Daddy moments?
10:38 Speaker 01 I have to say... First time, you know, I'm gonna say, sleeping with the mascot, I didn't expect to go as viral as it did.
10:46 Alex Cooper? I didn't either.
10:47 Speaker 01 Shout out Bucky Badger, you little animal in the bedroom. Like, I go to Wisconsin and girls will be like, "I fucked Bucky too." Like, it's become a...
10:55 Alex Cooper? Yeah, Hannah fucked the mascot. If you're reading contextual clues, she fucked the mascot. But it was me, like, flexing for him to be like, "Yeah, like, my type is professional athletes." And you were like, "Um, the closest thing I've ever come to fucking an athlete is the motherfucking mascot of the college team."
11:08 Speaker 01 The funniest thing though was that before him, I was with the, like, 6'8" studly football guy that I thought everyone wanted. But he, like, wanted me to go to Bible study. He has CTE, so I don't know how he read a Bible. And he was just, like, so not my type, but I thought I should like him.
11:24 Alex Cooper? Of course.
11:25 Speaker 01 And then instead, I liked Bucky. But the funniest thing about Bucky, which I don't know if I even fully explained, was that, like, he rejected me in the end. Like, he was one of those, like, guys who you're like, "Oh, I'm doing, like, a make-a-wish."
11:36 Alex Cooper? Right.
11:37 Speaker 01 And then he hurts you more than anyone. I go, "This was a what the fu-" Like, one of my most embarrassing moments was I got drunk.
11:44 Alex Cooper? Okay.
11:45 Speaker 01 I remember I was going there for the summer and I was so excited to see him. Like, you know when you're playing music, just like, dreaming of all the moments you guys are gonna have together?
11:52 Alex Cooper? Music video.
11:53 Speaker 01 I was like, "I have a boyfriend this summer. I have a boyfriend." And I got drunk and I went up to him at the KK, the bar, where he was the manager. I know.
12:01 Alex Cooper? He was the mascot and the manager?
12:03 Speaker 01 No, I know. He was like, double life. But like...
12:05 Alex Cooper? Hannah Montana.
12:06 Speaker 01 No jaw. Anyway, so...
12:08 Alex Cooper? No jaw?
12:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, so I was like, "This is gonna be easy. Like, we can do this." Shout out, he DMs me sometimes, "I love you. I'm not lying. You know that."
12:15 Alex Cooper? He has no jaw. Like, you're saying it's like, just...
12:18 Speaker 01 Let's just say, he wasn't studly, but he was funny and nice. And I was like, "Hannah, this is what you need." And then I go up to him, now this was very specific for the time, I go, "We don't have to be Facebook official, but like, you can date me."
12:36 Speaker 01 Don't hear from him for two weeks.
12:38 Alex Cooper? Hannah.
12:39 Speaker 01 To the point where like I'd go out and like, you know, when you can't enjoy the conversation with your friends? Cause you're just like, this literal mole rat of a man, who's running around like skipping as a mascot is not responding to me.
12:53 Alex Cooper? Dude.
12:54 Speaker 01 Those things make you grow. They, and we, me and him laugh about it now. And he's like, honestly, I was young. I was scared. Whatever it was.
13:00 Alex Cooper? He probably regrets it to this day. What is Bucky up to now?
13:03 Speaker 01 But looking now, like your early twenties, it's so chaotic. And I feel like the girls are trying to establish like a nice connection with the guy. Guys are trying to like show off for their friends. We want two different things. How did any relationship ever work out in your twenties?
13:18 Alex Cooper? It's impossible. It's literally impossible. I'm sorry. I just have like a visual of you. Like what sport was he the mascot for again?
13:24 Speaker 01 All the sports.
13:25 Alex Cooper? Oh Jesus, a whore. What? How did he have the time?
13:29 Speaker 01 He was friends with the hockey guys.
13:30 Alex Cooper? Okay. So I'm picturing you showing up to one of the games that he's got his full like mascot duty on. And are you like walking past the mascot? Like, do you know what I mean? When you're like trying to make eye contact with the guys?
13:40 Speaker 01 There's eight guys who are mascots and you don't know who's the mascot that day. So you'd see him and I'd be, no, literally I'd give him a little tap. I'd be like, ooh, wrong mascot, wrong Bucky. Sorry.
13:49 Alex Cooper? Hannah.
13:50 Speaker 01 So I would just hope, you know, it was him and I would look at him and his beady little eyes.
13:54 Alex Cooper? And then he's like, fuck off bitch. And you're like, oh, sorry. You're not him. Sorry. He's, you're like, can you quickly show me your chin? Nope. Not you.
13:59 Speaker 01 Also, I don't want to slut shame myself, but you know how you block stuff out? I actually made out with another Bucky. So I hope he's not jealous if he's listening.
14:08 Alex Cooper? Through and through, she's always been a mascot lover.
14:11 Speaker 01 I ran through the mascots. Ran. At least a light jog, I would say.
14:16 Alex Cooper? Let's talk about drinking.
14:18 Speaker 01 Yes.
14:18 Alex Cooper? What are you doing this summer? Are you raging? Are you keeping it chill? Are you sleeping in your bed? Like, and getting in bed at seven? Like, what's our vibe?
14:24 Speaker 01 Good question. So I actually have never been a good drinker.
14:27 Alex Cooper? Oh.
14:28 Speaker 01 Like I in college wanted to be a good drinker. Like I would, we'd be pre gaming and I'm like, okay, let's get fucked up. And I would, I was always the younger one of the like tennis teams. And I just remember getting pulled to the side by like one of the girls and being like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? You're at a 12? Everyone else is at a 4. We need you to calm down.
14:47 Alex Cooper? Yeah, I know.
14:47 Speaker 01 So then I would be like, oh, I thought we were, I thought we were getting drunk. Okay. And then I would like start getting tired and then I, fun point, then I, I'd be at a 4 and everyone else is blackout. And then I get sleepy. So I'm like the worst, I'm just not a fun drinker.
14:59 Alex Cooper? Like are you, if I took you to dinner tonight, would you be like doing two cocktails and no? Or you not even having a cocktail?
15:05 Speaker 01 Uh, the thing is, I don't need a cocktail ever. I'm an eater, but like if there's a celebration, I'll do one.
15:12 Alex Cooper? You're doing it.
15:12 Speaker 01 If someone's peer pressuring me like well, I'll do it.
15:15 Alex Cooper? Yeah, yeah.
15:15 Speaker 01 Like I respect the effort of a good peer pressure. I do have to say after reality TV and I stopped getting paid to drink.
15:20 Alex Cooper? Oh.
15:21 Speaker 01 I stopped drinking. I basically was like, there are so many days that you're, the cameras go up and they're like, okay, we're having a theme party. And you're like, oh my God. And I, I don't like theme parties and I don't like partying.
15:33 Alex Cooper? Me either.
15:33 Speaker 01 I, I hate a theme party. I hate a group of people that I don't know. And you, like the last time I blacked out was on reality TV. But if you blackout, you have to during the parties, the only way you can get your mic off is if you jump in the pool. So if I'm ever in the pool, that means I'm blackout floating around, just like farting in the pool. Just hoping that they don't ask me to have a conversation because they'll be like Hannah, come up and like fight with this person. I'll be like, I'm in the pool, I can't get out Hannah. Oh, so I got in big trouble once.
16:02 Alex Cooper? Why?
16:02 Speaker 01 So the first thing they say, they're like, the only rules are like, if you're gonna go in the pool, take off your mic. That's the only rule. And they treat us like we're kindergartners at a summer camp. They'll be like, I'll be talking to someone like, oh, they want to go in the pool. And they'll be like Hannah, if you want to go to the pool, let us know first so we can take off your mic.
16:19 Alex Cooper? Oh my God.
16:19 Speaker 01 Are you gonna go in the pool? And I'm like, no, I don't want, I'm hungry, I'm going to go eat salami. So like they're just dealing with like toddlers. So then at one point I decided to do like a sprinting cannonball because I love attention. And I was like, guys, let's just, I start running, I do a cannonball, I land, I get up. Everyone's looking at me like I just drowned their baby.
16:39 Alex Cooper? No.
16:39 Speaker 01 Everyone's like, oh, and I'm standing there and I'm like, was it bad? Was it bad? The mi- mic guy, audio guy starts running knees up, like Olympic sprinting towards me, hops in the pool and like yanks me out. And he like takes it off me and like huff, huff puffs, leaves. And they're like, okay, he's really mad at you. And he
17:01 Alex Cooper? I'm sorry, it's a mic pack.
17:03 Speaker 01 Apparently they're like really expensive and the mic person, like it's their own mics.
17:07 Alex Cooper? Oh fuck you little piece of shit.
17:10 Speaker 01 So he was like this dumb drunk bitch and I remember like seeing him the next day and being like, I'm so sorry, I was a little bit drunk and we laugh about it now, but like I was never more scared in my life.
17:20 Alex Cooper? Um whiskey dick.
17:23 Speaker 01 Oh my goodness.
17:23 Alex Cooper? I haven't had like, well, I guess, I'm trying to think back to like college, I feel like was like whiskey dick central. Have you have ever had like a weird experience with whiskey dick?
17:31 Speaker 01 So as an Italian, we call it al dente dick. And I, that needs to be normalized. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
17:40 Alex Cooper? It's like a little hard, but it's
17:41 Speaker 01 It's a little hard, but you're not, it's not good. Okay. You're not going to give it five stars on Yelp.
17:49 Alex Cooper? I actually hate al dente. Is that like criminal to the Italian?
17:52 Speaker 01 People fuck up the pasta and just go, it's al dente. And I'm like, no.
17:55 Alex Cooper? It's stale.
17:59 Speaker 01 Same thing. Or just like ma- the macaroni that like you put in the microwave. That's like guys dick sometimes.
18:05 Alex Cooper? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:06 Speaker 01 The smushing of a guy's dick into your vagina, people don't talk about it enough. Cause then how does it also feel so not good when it's so innocent, but just feels like?
18:18 Alex Cooper? When I used to be fucked up in college and I would like see that he clearly had whiskey dick. And he's like, no, I got this, I got this, I got this. And he's doing the whole thing.
18:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:26 Alex Cooper? There, even if I had literally taken a bottle of tequila to the head, there is nothing that sobers me up faster. Than being like, oh, just put it. What the fuck are you doing? And then all of a sudden I'm completely sober and I see his little weenie.
18:41 Speaker 01 And you're dried up.
18:42 Alex Cooper? It's just, I think, let's give advice to the daddy gang. The next time that Willie takes your pants off and little Willie is al dente.
18:54 Alex Cooper? And you want him to have a little cream sauce coming out.
18:58 Speaker 01 These dicks are like cats sometimes where it's like, if you want it to get to come to you, like they won't come. You know, like, you know, it gets so mental. Like you're playing all these games. You have to like not look at it and pretend you don't want it. And you know, and you know what I'm saying? Cause he'll be like, don't like, don't look at me right now. Like I'm, it's happening. And you're like, are you ready? Don't, don't ask about like, so you have to like look away and like, don't be intimidating and don't put pressure on him. It's like a whole thing.
19:26 Alex Cooper? If people would wear a shirt that said dicks, you would need merch that say dicks are like cats or cats are like dicks. What the fuck Hannah? I guess you're kind of right.
19:36 Speaker 01 We have to normalize that sex is not good a lot of the time. And I love talking to you about it because I feel like you've shown women that they can have the sex they want to have, but I also know just from numbers, just from girl math. You, with all those good experiences, you have had to have some of the most horrible experiences in bed to get there too.
19:58 Alex Cooper? Hannah, it's almost like if you had to count the bad, I would be able to count the good orgasms I've had on my hand over the bad. Like every experience, I guess I would consider up until the age maybe of until I met Matt and maybe a couple stragglers, bad, bad.
20:13 Speaker 01 And that is iconic for everyone. Take notes on what you just said.
20:16 Alex Cooper? And I, you know, I, it's interesting. I was doing an episode the other day and I was saying how like Matt and I go through periods of like, oh, we're, we haven't had sex in a week. Like we, and I was like, oh my God, I bet people are going to be like freaked out to hear that from me because I'm just being honest. Like we get so fucking busy. And even if we're in the same house, we're not traveling. We're in the same house. We're so fucking busy. The reality is we go through these lulls where we're like, fuck.
20:35 Speaker 01 People get too busy to break up. It's very easy to be too busy to have sex. You know that couple that they're like, he has a meeting tomorrow and then like, I'm going to Italy and I just don't, and then his mom is busy. I just can't, and then it's his birthday.
20:48 Alex Cooper? Oh my God, I've done this with my brother so many times where it was like, well, I can't break up with her here. And then I can't break up with you here because I already invited her. I'm like, what the fuck?
20:54 Speaker 01 He's like, I don't want to do it on the phone. And then like, she's coming, but like.
20:57 Alex Cooper? You're so right. Oh my God. I didn't even think about that. People have plans that they're going to break up and then they just never do it.
21:01 Speaker 01 Gets in the way.
21:02 Alex Cooper? So sex gets not like put on the back burner. And you're so right. The amount of times that it has hurt, that I have not had an orgasm and I faked it. The amount of times that they thought they were going to make me squirt and I was really just bleeding.
21:15 Speaker 01 Wait, that hit me late.
21:16 Alex Cooper? You're like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then you literally are just like, blood. Like, you literally just hire logrifics inside of my fucking pussy.
21:25 Speaker 01 I was so traumatized in college. One of my friends who was older was like, sitting on the floor outside the bathroom and just in college. And I went upstairs, I was like, are you okay? And she's like, just never do anal. And I was like, why? And she's like, I've been leaking for five hours. And to that day, I've been scared. Like, but that's girlhood.
21:44 Alex Cooper? That is like the scene from the fucking ring. Like, the girl just being like.
21:48 Speaker 01 Her head was down.
21:49 Alex Cooper? Through anal.
21:50 Speaker 01 She's like, I can't move. My body's leaking. I'm like, what's coming out?
21:55 Alex Cooper? Have you ever done anal?
21:57 Speaker 01 Okay, I attempted it once in the shower, which is.
22:01 Alex Cooper? Wait.
22:02 Speaker 01 I don't know. Don't do sex in the shower, period.
22:05 Alex Cooper? Water is not lube.
22:07 Speaker 01 Water is not lube. It will be bloody. Don't, my friend told me. Like, it is so fucked up.
22:13 Alex Cooper? You tried anal in the shower?
22:15 Speaker 01 I don't know, because I guess I was thinking like, oh, my, my butt's clean and whatever. It was so painful. I also want to talk about, there's so many sex things that you try to do that you don't. Like, everyone lost half their virginity, right?
22:27 Alex Cooper? Absolutely.
22:28 Speaker 01 People don't talk about the half virginity.
22:29 Alex Cooper? When people, because it's the movies, like, he took my flower. No, he literally grazed my lip and then I was in pain for like.
22:37 Speaker 01 It goes in like a tiny bit, comes out, and then you're like, am I not virgin anymore? And then he tries to push it more and you're like, no. And then you're like, oh, he's gonna sleep.
22:48 Speaker 01 No, I do like a whole bit about losing your virginity.
22:51 Alex Cooper? Oh, yes.
22:51 Speaker 01 I'm trying to normalize all the experiences girls have. And doing these shows in front of thousands of girls and them laughing tells me, oh, we all like, lost our virginity. And then he was like, did you come? And you're like, unless the blood everywhere was come, I don't know what just happened. And I don't want to do that again. Eh, you. And then he's like, always accidentally hits your butthole during doggy. And you're like, what is going? And your butthole is like, has the reflexes of a ninja and will be like, don't, don't touch. Like it is, there's so much stuff and I do have to say for all the younger girls, like my cousin was like going off to college and I was just like, I just wanted to hold her because everyone has bad experiences. I mean, it's so hard. I remember once there was this guy who was like so hot.
23:34 Speaker 01 Cause that's a problem. The hot ones does not mean the rest of it is gonna be okay.
23:38 Alex Cooper? If anything, it's worse.
23:39 Speaker 01 If anything, it's worse because girls have not taught them. They're untrained. I remember he was like trying to touch me and it just wasn't good and I didn't like his vibe. And he like, I could, I could smell cigarette on his breath and I just remember be like, oh, I can't deal with cigarettes. And he's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, oh, I just, I don't like cigarettes. And I just like, and he kept chasing me around. I'm like, mm, the cigarette thing. I don't like it.
24:01 Alex Cooper? But you know, that's just like turning him on more that you're being like, now I'm good.
24:04 Speaker 01 Then just throw astrology at them. Just be like, mm, it's giving, I'm a Libra. You don't get it. It's just, it's a Libra thing. Like I'm an, I'm a Libra, but just say it. Like I literally have a bit about that. I didn't put in the special where I'm like, guys hate cats and astrology. So just look at him and be like, my cat's name is Clyde and his rising moon's Aquarius. He'll be like, okay, nevermind. Thank you. Check please. Weaponize astrology to get him away from you. Weaponize astrology. Matt Rife that shit.
24:33 Speaker 01 Do it. Use our knowledge of what they're afraid of. We're afraid of getting murdered. They're afraid of astrology. Use your weapon. We ride at dawn.
24:44 Alex Cooper? Go watch it on Netflix now. Mother fuck. How much does that say about our fucking world? We're afraid of getting murdered and men are afraid of astrology. I'm gonna go fuck my life.
24:56 Speaker 01 She said she's a Leo. Like I don't trust her. I'm like, I don't trust him because for many reasons.
25:05 Alex Cooper? I'm obsessed with you. I missed you so much.
25:08 Speaker 01 No, I love you, Dad. All I want to do is make you laugh.
25:10 Alex Cooper? No, I'm, I'm, my face is hurting.
25:28 Alex Cooper? Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. Okay, I am well into my third trimester now, so I haven't really been able to travel because I need to stay close to my doctor, but spending all this time at home has made me start thinking about all the places that I want to go. Once the baby is here, I have literally been sitting on my couch with the TV on scrolling through Airbnb and planning trips. I am nowhere ready to take yet, but suddenly my vacation priorities, I will say are completely different. Like, does the house have enough bedrooms? Is there a big kitchen? Does the furniture look baby safe? Or is every table covered in, you know, sharp corners? And obviously, we need an extra room
26:10 Alex Cooper? for my mom, who has already made it very clear that she will not be leaving my side. She's like, I got you. I'm the babysitter, okay? And now that it is October, I'm picturing cooler weather, cozy sweaters, oh my God, maybe a little cottage where we can escape for a little weekend. That's what I love about booking a home on Airbnb. Whether you're traveling with family, friends, or your partner, everyone has space to relax while still being together. Even if you're traveling for a concert or a game, you have one place where everyone can get together and convene after. Before the holiday season gets busy, treat yourself to one more fall getaway and check out Airbnb while you're planning it.
26:51 Alex Cooper? Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200 career-focused programs, where you want with 100% online courses, and how you want with no set class times. Basically, you get to call the shots from day one. Visit SNHU.edu/callherdaddy to learn more.
27:20 Alex Cooper? There is nothing that makes me happier than when I get a compliment from someone and they say, Alex, you smell delicious. Okay. I mean, is there anything better than someone telling you, you smell good? No. And you want to know what I'm wearing? You already know what I'm wearing. Yves Saint Laurent beauty. Okay, let's go. If you are looking for a new statement fragrance, Yves Saint Laurent's iconic Lieve collection is everything you've been looking for to turn heads and feel your most confident. The vanilla fragrances are all the rage and Yves Saint Laurent's Lieve Vanilla Couture is the best one out there. Listen to me, daddy gang. It's Lieve's first ever limited edition fragrance. It's sweet
28:03 Alex Cooper? yet bold with rich vanilla caviar, rum liqueur, absolute lavender and orange blossom. The most delectable version of Lieve. Of course, the original Lieve Eau de Parfum never misses either. It's iconic fragrance is infused with lavender and orange blossom. It's the most amazing warm floral for every day, which you've heard me talk about. But daddy gang, this is your sign. Okay. Lieve Vanilla Couture. Boom. Here we go. You are going to want to be smelling amazing. And there you go. Shop now at Sephora.
28:31 Speaker 01 Quick question. What do you think about retired athletes?
28:35 Speaker 01 You're like, put them behind the bar.
28:38 Alex Cooper? Put them behind the bar. Put them behind bars or just take them out to a field and end it all. Honestly, it is, I think they-
28:47 Speaker 01 At our age, we're dealing with them now.
28:49 Alex Cooper? Hannah? I hate to say it. I actually think they could be more toxic than the ones in the league.
28:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, but, oh, please extrapolate.
28:58 Alex Cooper? So,
29:02 Alex Cooper? get my diagram off of me, please. I'm like, I have a fucking whole PowerPoint.
29:05 Speaker 01 You just pulled out like a laser.
29:07 Alex Cooper? A projector that just goes down. So here's the thing.
29:12 Alex Cooper? Although they don't have like that fight in them technically as much anymore in terms of like they're on the road, they've got the road beef, like they're like, ooh, my Kansas road beef. They now have like less to lose where like a lot of guys, although they're protected, sometimes like, ooh, but when I get in trouble, then I can't play tomorrow.
29:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:30 Alex Cooper? I feel like the retired athletes are now just in this like sedated state of just like entitlement, but no purpose. And so they can hone in on you and just be like, you're my purpose. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, get away from me. And they become psychotic. I lived across from one. Can't even start. No, I can't tell the story because he's literally the most ill person on the internet. And he basically was the most psycho person I've ever met in my life. And I was like, this, I'll tell you after, but it was one of the scariest moments. However, athletes are scary too, because you know what? I'm in New York City. This is actually not that long ago. It was like towards the end of my New York days. And I am hooking up with this hockey player. It's one night. I, we had followed each other on social media. We met in college a couple of times.
30:15 Alex Cooper? I had maybe sucked his penis once. That was kind of it. It was just a casual.
30:18 Speaker 01 An appetizer. A palate cleanser?
30:23 Alex Cooper? No, this was not a palate cleanser. This dick is so fucking scary and large and curved.
30:28 Speaker 01 No, I hate that.
30:29 Alex Cooper? So.
30:29 Speaker 01 I like the curve.
30:30 Alex Cooper? The curve was um, fine for a blowjob. But it went, it's either left or right. I can't remember. Okay, so I'm in New York City. I run into him at a club immediately. I'm like, he's one of the hottest people in the NHL. I'm like, you're so fucking hot, let's fucking do this. But I'm convinced he has a girlfriend. I'm like, wait, isn't your Instagram like full of this like girl that is like your girlfriend? And he spends the entire night convincing me that they're not together. And I'm like, but like, what? Like, why? Like, I just know athletes.
30:56 Speaker 01 That's why athletes are good at sales. They go into sales after. They all become fucking cold, cold selling people.
31:02 Alex Cooper? He, I'm like, but any, also, I'm not an idiot. I've dated athletes before. Any fucking athlete, the minute you're done with someone, you delete all the fucking pictures. You don't need to prove that you have a hot bitch on your arm. Like, you're not a fucking loser. Like, you're good. So I get super drunk and then I'm like, you know what? He's so fucking hot. I'm gonna, oh, I can't even say it out loud. I'm gonna trust him.
31:20 Speaker 01 Ew.
31:21 Alex Cooper? Disgusting.
31:22 Speaker 01 Alex.
31:22 Alex Cooper? We go back to his place. We start having sex.
31:24 Speaker 01 Let go and let God.
31:26 Alex Cooper? Just let's do it. I'm sure she's not your girlfriend anymore. I choose to believe this man after like three hours. We go back and his curved penis comes out and we start having sex and a blowjob was one thing because his mouth can do great things. This curved penis is so large Hannah, I start bleeding. I am in so much pain and I just kind of stop it. I leave. Two months later, he's engaged.
31:50 Speaker 01 How the fuck did this man explain blood? Because it was either a murder or a girl got her period.
31:57 Alex Cooper? You know, no, you want to know what's even worse? As I'm deciding to leave, his drunken friend comes in to tell him that he has to be up for a brand deal the next morning and the lights are all on as I'm getting my clothes together. Murder scene. Hannah, I thought it was a little bit of blood. His sheets are just red everywhere. And now this man is married to this woman. So praying for you.
32:16 Speaker 01 Praying for her.
32:17 Alex Cooper? Like it's just sad. Like they're little pieces of shit.
32:20 Speaker 01 Yes. I did you, there's this thing going around on TikTok. Oh, I want to give the guy credit. This guy basically said that he realized and he's like, I gotta tell all the guys this because we didn't know. Do you know when girls say, I want you to come? It means they want you to stop. Like they want you to be done. Like I thought they were into it. Whenever you go, can you come in me? I want you to come. Oh my God, can you, we are so big. Can you come right now? She's done. She's already thinking about what she has to do that night. She's thinking of her chores. She's.
32:53 Alex Cooper? All the girls in the room. Nodding.
32:56 Speaker 01 And like, and the guy was like, wait, men did not know that. And like, you think we just like, we're like, you know, make this better? We're saying we want this to end.
33:05 Alex Cooper? Hannah. I've done it many times in my life. Everyone's done it. It's so.
33:10 Speaker 01 The second I start talking in the bedroom, it's not because I like dirty talk. We're sweating out the roses, okay? We have shit to do. I have emails. Mom has to work, okay? Mom has Pilates.
33:25 Alex Cooper? This is so fucking accurate and terrifying.
33:28 Speaker 01 Even if I say your dick is big, that means I'm like, let's.
33:31 Alex Cooper? I'm like, oh my God, you're so big. Like come for me, come for me.
33:34 Speaker 01 Come for me, come for me.
33:36 Alex Cooper? And literally, and it's usually in doggy, and when you're in doggy, no, if you're face to face, like, come for me. When you're in doggy, you're literally like, come for me, come for me. Your face is literally like, I will murder you.
33:48 Speaker 01 Do you know when you're sarcastically, like, you're like, okay, he liked that, okay. You're smiling, or he's like, losing his mind, and you're like, okay, let's just.
33:55 Alex Cooper? Hannah, every girl.
33:57 Speaker 01 That's girlhood.
33:58 Alex Cooper? Is it hot in here?
34:00 Speaker 01 No, I just sweat profusely all the time.
34:01 Alex Cooper? I'm sweating too. Is it, is it a little hot?
34:02 Speaker 01 I always sweat.
34:03 Alex Cooper? I'm sweating. Are you sweating?
34:05 Speaker 01 I'm always sweating.
34:06 Alex Cooper? Hannah, imagine me on my wedding. I was literally like, why did I fucking choose a tropical location?
34:09 Speaker 01 The universe humbles me every day with my sweat, and I'm thankful for it.
34:13 Alex Cooper? Okay, but you don't get spray tans, do you?
34:15 Speaker 01 No.
34:15 Alex Cooper? I do, so I'm literally leaking orange at all times.
34:18 Speaker 01 I just had a memory of somehow me finding a YouTube of you being like, bitches. This is how you fucking spray tan, the best fucking spray tan in the fucking world.
34:30 Alex Cooper? Sandra Pez, extra dark.
34:32 Speaker 01 I was like, taking notes, I was like.
34:35 Speaker 01 And you were like, exfoliate, bitches, lotion.
34:37 Alex Cooper? I don't think people understand how pale I am naturally. Look at my skin.
34:40 Speaker 01 Wait.
34:41 Alex Cooper? I'm translucent.
34:41 Speaker 01 Have you discussed, though, like, your evolution of beauty here?
34:47 Alex Cooper? No, should we?
34:48 Speaker 01 I feel like I want to.
34:50 Alex Cooper? Oh my god, I don't even know what that means.
34:51 Speaker 01 I feel like it's been like so subtle with you, but like, you're not as tan as you were.
34:56 Alex Cooper? Oh, I'm getting a spray tan tonight.
34:58 Speaker 01 I go, she goes, you just called me pale to my face. But I don't think you're going as much.
35:04 Alex Cooper? I'm only, I'm only, I'm not. Oh my god, I used to really.
35:06 Speaker 01 And I feel like the makeup is, is more subtle. But like, was it conscious, or were you just, as you got older, you were like, oh, I fuck with my face?
35:15 Alex Cooper? I relate to, oh, I think you, I saw you saying something about this on your podcast, on a clip I saw. Um, you know how people are saying, what is it, eyebrow blindness?
35:23 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, eyebrow blindness.
35:23 Alex Cooper? And you were like, people are boyfriend blindness? Fact. I had, and I probably still do, have eyebrow blindness. If you look at pictures of me from college, it, it started to get scary. Like, it was just. Insane, huge, black. It was, it was too much. But I do think I've reeled it in more.
35:39 Speaker 01 And you, you have blonde eyebrows.
35:43 Alex Cooper? Blonde.
35:43 Speaker 01 So you like to tint them a little.
35:46 Alex Cooper? Yes.
35:47 Speaker 01 But blindness can happen with that.
35:49 Alex Cooper? It's also scary because I look back and like, I'm convinced when I started at Barstool, I really leaned into the bimbo. Like, that, like, like iconic, like, cover art of us. I photoshopped the fuck out of it. And I remember us sitting there together, me being like, ooh, lips bigger, tits bigger. Like, cinch, boom, boom, boom.
36:10 Speaker 01 Facetune blindness is such a thing.
36:11 Alex Cooper? It was insane, but back then we didn't have Facetune, so I was like using PickMonkey. Um, so I was like on my web browser.
36:16 Speaker 01 A woman in STEM.
36:17 Alex Cooper? I was literally coding and making my lips bigger, okay? We didn't have FaceApp, you whore, so I was like, do, do, do, code XYZ, lip bigger, boom, boom, plump, plump, plump.
36:26 Speaker 01 Zero ones, here's a Morse code.
36:29 Alex Cooper? And then when they were like, can you send us another version of just like the original? And I was literally like, no.
36:36 Alex Cooper? Not only can I not send you the original, I can send it because you're like, no, the one of you guys, it looked nothing like us. So because of that, I felt like I had to live up to this thing. So I would overline the fuck out of my lips. I was like doing so much dramatic shit that I was like, I now look back and I'm like, oh my God, I literally looked like a fucking whore. But you know what? Cheers. It made me a lot of money.
36:54 Speaker 01 Well, I was gonna say, I was gonna say, I've learned like, the way you present yourself does, like, in this town, it's a thing. And that's why I wear ties sometimes. Cause it's powerful. People like, um, can you wear ties? I'm trying to make ties a thing.
37:13 Alex Cooper? Are you Avril Lavigne? Wait, what the fuck?
37:16 Speaker 01 I wore a tie once on Giggly Squad, and it was mixed reviews. She's nodding. But I real, you feel so-
37:21 Alex Cooper? What did you wear it with?
37:22 Speaker 01 Oh, I fully looked like an eighties salesman. I wore it just with like a button down. Like, I went full, like, I wanna feel like how a guy feels with a tie. You feel, first of all, you mansplain. You start like explaining things you have no idea about.
37:34 Alex Cooper? Paige is like, shut the fuck up, Hannah.
37:36 Speaker 01 I'm sorry, I wasn't even listening to you speaking. I feel like a, there's like a shrill noise. So I, the tie, like, you feel like you have a dick, cause it's like hanging around. And you, and you like, you gotta, you gotta make sure it's not like, yeah, you gotta keep it in its place. You feel powerful. And I just think a girl with it, like you with a tie. It's like hot.
37:53 Alex Cooper? But do you have to wear a collar shirt? Could I be like a tank top with a tie?
37:56 Speaker 01 You could wear a tank top. That is very Avril.
37:58 Alex Cooper? Yeah.
37:59 Speaker 01 But like, I think it's a-
38:00 Alex Cooper? Go for it?
38:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think you go. I mean, you know her now. You could text her. If she is Avril.
38:04 Alex Cooper? Hannah.
38:08 Alex Cooper? Melissa, if you're watching this, I, Hannah, there was nothing funnier in my career, maybe, than when I was like, really, kind of like, maybe pressing a little too hard, being like, okay, but Melissa, and she's literally like, "Do you believe it? Did you start the conspiracy theory?" And I'm literally thinking back to my username, like XXO22, that I'm like, I was probably in those chats.
38:29 Speaker 01 No, but you were just speaking for the people. You were asking the important question.
38:32 Alex Cooper? When I was doing my research, all anyone wanted to know was like Melissa. So I was like, okay, what's up, Melissa? And she was fun about it.
38:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:38 Alex Cooper? But then, you can never win, because everyone's comment was like, "That's what Melissa would say." And I'm like, "What the fuck?" I feel bad. I was like, and then I love her, though. She's like, "That's like the least of my worries." Like, if that's the biggest rumor about me, I'm like, "That you're dead, and then you came back as someone else? Uh, you have a body double? I guess that would be kind of cool." Imagine if that was the fucking rumor about you. Honestly, I would die for those to be the rumors.
38:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, because then if I do something stupid, I was like, "That wasn't me. That was Melissa."
39:01 Alex Cooper? That was Barbara.
39:02 Speaker 01 Barbara again.
39:03 Alex Cooper? Ah, shit, Barb. Really?
39:06 Speaker 01 Hannah would never do something like that. Hannah would never.
39:09 Alex Cooper? Honestly, please start that fucking rumor. Alex is dead, someone else came back. Um, okay, you're ex-
39:14 Speaker 01 Men trying to pick up a penny?
39:16 Alex Cooper? Oh my god.
39:17 Speaker 01 Because they're like struggling.
39:18 Alex Cooper? How often do you see this?
39:19 Speaker 01 Honestly, I've never seen a penny in the last 10 years.
39:21 Alex Cooper? Wait.
39:22 Speaker 01 But like, the concept of them like trying, do with their like nubby stupid hands.
39:26 Alex Cooper? Where are the pennies?
39:29 Speaker 01 This is like a new Chappelle Run song.
39:30 Alex Cooper? I haven't seen change in a while.
39:33 Speaker 01 Well, that was very rich of you.
39:35 Alex Cooper? She goes, "It's change, stuff, thing."
39:38 Speaker 01 Spotify's never given me change. Can you pay me in quarters next, next quarter?
39:45 Alex Cooper? I'm fucking dead.
39:48 Speaker 01 And I like this, no change.
39:49 Alex Cooper? There's literally no pennies. Not even quarters. Fuck. Um, fuck you. Have you ever stolen-
39:59 Alex Cooper? Just clip that, honestly. Just clip it away. Oh my god, is it hot in here?
40:10 Alex Cooper? That was very rich of you.
40:11 Speaker 01 That's why everyone got quiet.
40:12 Alex Cooper? You're the one that said you hadn't seen a penny in ten years. Fuck you! Um, have you ever stolen anything from a hookups place? Apartment? Like a house, apartment?
40:22 Speaker 01 Oh my gosh.
40:23 Alex Cooper? I have.
40:24 Speaker 01 What did you say? You're like, you're that friend who's like, "I wanna tell you a story, but I am gonna ask you first to pretend." Like, I wanna know, what have you stolen? AirPods? I feel like AirPods are the easiest thing to steal, cuz everyone loses their AirPods every day.
40:37 Alex Cooper? But I have literally unintentionally stolen AirPods before, and I'm like, walking through the airport and I looked down-
40:43 Speaker 01 It's impossible to not steal an AirPod.
40:45 Alex Cooper? But Hannah, then it comes up as their name on your phone, like, "You have Jeremy's." I, like, and you're like-
40:49 Speaker 01 They could track you or something. I don't know. I don't fuck with AirPods. I have the old school. I use Delta headphones.
40:57 Speaker 01 Oh, you don't? You don't do Delta headphones? I find, the amount of Delta, I could
41:04 Alex Cooper? We-
41:04 Speaker 01 strangle myself to death with the amount of Delta headphones I have knotted up in my bag. I could definitely kill a
41:13 Speaker 01 small squirrel.
41:17 Speaker 01 With the amount of unsafe Delta headphones I have lying around. It would definitely, the whole ocean would, every fish would die with the amount of Delta headphones I have.
41:25 Alex Cooper? We, we, I feel like the Delta headphones kind of like, don't stay in my ear.
41:30 Speaker 01 Do you wanna check out each other's ear canals right now?
41:32 Alex Cooper? Honestly, I think I have earwax. Oh my god, someone handed me the one.
41:39 Alex Cooper? I don't shower, no. Listen to me.
41:42 Speaker 01 Your intrusive thoughts are so crazy, and they're just coming out right now.
41:46 Alex Cooper? I'm just getting really hot, so it's starting to get to my head.
41:50 Speaker 01 I haven't showered in seven days.
41:51 Alex Cooper? I haven't showered.
41:52 Speaker 01 I've been searching for pennies. I can't find them anywhere.
41:57 Alex Cooper? I'm like, I'm so rich and I have earwax.
42:01 Speaker 01 No.
42:01 Alex Cooper? How much money you have, earwax will find you. I don't know who to go to. No, Hannah, when I was in, this is disgusting. It's actually not. This is important. When everyone get your ears checked.
42:12 Speaker 01 Did you have a worm in your ear?
42:14 Alex Cooper? I fucking wish. Listen to me. Then I would go viral. Listen to me. I'm such a whore for views. I'm like, oh my God, someone put something in my ear. Listen to me. In college, I always would talk so loud. That's actually natural. I don't know why I'm gonna blame this on my ears. I talked aloud, but then I was like, maybe I need to get like my ears checked.
42:32 Speaker 01 You thought you were deaf.
42:34 Alex Cooper? I'm like, maybe it's because I'm deaf, you whores. They're like, it's like you can't hear anyone else.
42:38 Speaker 01 Cause you've never shut up.
42:39 Alex Cooper? They're like, you're just annoying. The doctor's like, just shut the fuck up. So I go and they're like, oh, you see a little earwax? And they do this thing where they like pour it into me, whatever. And it's basically like a honeycomb. Looks like it came out of my fucking ear. And I was like, holy shit, that's been in my ear. Then I kept talking loud.
42:52 Speaker 01 Getting a, what's it called up your butt?
42:54 Alex Cooper? Colonoscopy?
42:55 Speaker 01 It's like a colonoscopy for your ear?
42:57 Alex Cooper? Yes.
43:00 Speaker 01 Yeah. You're calling us for your ear?
43:02 Alex Cooper? I'm literally fucking my ear. It's all draining. It's all draining. And then I could hear like
43:06 Speaker 01 A little better.
43:07 Alex Cooper? But really I was just getting anxious because every time I put headphones on.
43:12 Speaker 01 Oh, it would live on the headphones?
43:15 Alex Cooper? Remnant. And I, so the other day I'm doing this prep and this girl was like, can I give you these AirPods? You need to listen in. And I'm literally like, I brought my own. And she was like, no, you have to use these ones. Because they're connected to the screen. And I literally like, literally almost start crying and I literally take it out. And I'm like, are you gonna like, let me keep these?
43:35 Speaker 01 It's like when someone lends you your, their underwear and you're like, I'm kind of spotting right now.
43:41 Alex Cooper? It's just like little like discharge. You're like, don't look. What is this? Disgusting.
43:47 Speaker 01 Send me some egg whites.
43:50 Alex Cooper? We are literally vile.
43:52 Speaker 01 But Alex, a Q-tip in your ear, better than sex, said it. I said it. We all were thinking it.
43:57 Alex Cooper? Better than sex.
43:58 Speaker 01 Cause it's naughty, like you're not supposed to.
44:00 Alex Cooper? I have one better.
44:01 Speaker 01 You're like, this is bad.
44:02 Alex Cooper? No, I have one better.
44:02 Speaker 01 What?
44:03 Alex Cooper? And it's gonna be so fucking disgusting and I'm really never gonna recover from this. You know what's better than a fucking Q-tip?
44:11 Alex Cooper? A fake.
44:11 Speaker 01 Gel-X. I think all girls, I want us to be secret spies. I want us to break into car doors with our Gel-X. Like, literally, like, hold on a sec, I want the.
44:21 Alex Cooper? These are too long.
44:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:23 Alex Cooper? This is giving like.
44:25 Speaker 01 I like, I can't text right now. I'm at the point where like they've grown out the last amount where I have to. I actually have never gotten fake nails before.
44:33 Alex Cooper? Is this the longest you go?
44:35 Speaker 01 Yeah. And she put them on. I've never gotten full, cause I like, I killed the whole family.
44:39 Alex Cooper? Yeah.
44:39 Speaker 01 You break one, you're like, fuck it.
44:41 Alex Cooper? Yeah, you get it wrong.
44:41 Speaker 01 And I was like, how do you get them off? And she's like, oh, it's a whole process. You have to like soak for three days. And then you have, like, it's a whole thing.
44:49 Alex Cooper? You're like.
44:50 Speaker 01 Getting, like, I don't have time for this shit.
44:52 Alex Cooper? Hannah, I the other week just took a fucking.
44:55 Speaker 01 Yep.
44:55 Alex Cooper? Clipper and just clipped them all off. So they were just straight nubs.
44:58 Speaker 01 Every day I have to fight that urge.
44:59 Alex Cooper? It's disgusting, but I have them now. So anyways, pro tip, if you have any earwax, just take your Gel-X and scoot it around. Because the best is you can scoop it out. Because my fear is these Q-tips are just shoving it deeper in. You've seen those videos, Hannah.
45:11 Speaker 01 Yes, I have seen those videos. Oh, I remember the one, my favorite moment from Call Her Daddy. I just remembered it. It was when I said the only way I can orgasm is with my leg straight. And I've never had more of a connection with girls in my life.
45:24 Alex Cooper? Hannah, I want you to know that I did end up trying that oddly, maybe like a week after we filmed together.
45:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:34 Alex Cooper? And I thought of.
45:35 Speaker 01 Me.
45:37 Alex Cooper? I thought of you.
45:38 Speaker 01 The entire time.
45:42 Alex Cooper? I was having an orgasm. I'm like, Hannah, you were right.
45:46 Speaker 01 Well, you gotta clench. You get to clench. I'm afraid too. If I bend my knees, I will fart.
45:51 Alex Cooper? Oh, my God. It's literally terrifying. You're holding a doggy. I mean, you don't even get me fucking started. But yeah, I guess I can say I've had an orgasm and I thought of you. So thank you. Cheers. Oh, my God. What did I feel? How did we get here? You're what?
46:03 Speaker 01 I, I, I took us off.
46:05 Alex Cooper? Delta, AirPods. Have I stolen? I was dating this rich guy at this point and he was pissing me off. I knew we were gonna break up.
46:11 Speaker 01 When they're rich, does it count?
46:12 Alex Cooper? Did you just say what if this is?
46:14 Speaker 01 When they're rich, does it count? Like, you know, like with the big, big box stores, those like taxes.
46:18 Alex Cooper? I thought about this.
46:18 Speaker 01 For stealing.
46:19 Alex Cooper? Well, let me take you through my thought process. So he was sleeping.
46:23 Speaker 01 You drugged him. The melatonin hit.
46:27 Alex Cooper? I finally drugged him. He was out. I am in his apartment and I start to spiral because I'm like, I'm looking at him breathing and I'm like, he's definitely cheating and he's definitely being suss. We weren't even dating, but I'm like, he's cheating with other women, blah, blah. So I start to panic and I can't sleep. So I start walking around his apartment and then I get this crazy idea. I'm like, fuck him. I'm gonna fucking take something from this apartment. Like, fuck you.
46:49 Speaker 01 Because you're in a full fight with him at this point in your head.
46:51 Alex Cooper? Yeah, I was gonna say, in my head. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. So I start going around and I'm looking at these Rolexes and I'm like, I feel like this is jail. Because I feel like he's, I feel like I'm crazy that like he would actually call the police on me. And I was like in college, so I like couldn't handle that. And I was like, I'm not, I can't bail myself out.
47:06 Speaker 01 If I was older, would have taken the Rolex, but I need to finish college first. I didn't want to be in juvie. Couldn't handle juvie.
47:15 Alex Cooper? I couldn't handle juvie at that point in my life, although a mugshot would be kind of like chic at this point. I just didn't figure out like, what could I get a mugshot for? And then like, yeah. So anyway, so I'm, I'm cruising around and I'm passing by the roaches and I, I finally am like, let it go.
47:28 Speaker 01 Did you say roaches?
47:29 Alex Cooper? Raches, watches.
47:30 Speaker 01 Okay, got it.
47:31 Alex Cooper? Rolexes.
47:33 Alex Cooper? I see the Rolex and I can't afford shit at this point. Then I'm like, okay, can't take that. So I'm looking around, looking around. And then finally, this is the most petty thing because it's so stupid and it might as well have been headphones, Hannah. I find this box that has not been opened and it's a GoPro.
47:53 Alex Cooper? And I look at it and I'm like huh. I pick it up, I put it in my purse and I fling my purse over my fucking shoulder and I steal this man's motherfucking GoPro. I haul myself a cab, I get home and I put the box on my desk and I'm like, ha, there you go, motherfucker. And I never used the GoPro and I would look at it and I would, I did nothing with it.
48:19 Speaker 01 I have two things to say. No one's ever used a GoPro. Second of all, if a man has a GoPro, that is the biggest ick I've ever had. Men with GoPros.
48:27 Alex Cooper? I'm like, he was an athlete. I'm like, what is he doing with his GoPro? And then I fucked an athlete a couple of months later and he had a GoPro on his fucking headboard. And I was like, no.
48:38 Speaker 01 Wait, that's fucked up.
48:40 Alex Cooper? Hannah, he had a GoPro on his fucking headboard.
48:45 Alex Cooper? I was literally like.
48:46 Speaker 01 Did you steal it after?
48:49 Speaker 01 You're like, wait, I love attention.
48:50 Alex Cooper? He's like in the shower, I turn it off.
48:51 Speaker 01 That's the government? Hi, Zaddy.
48:56 Alex Cooper? So that's what I stole. Okay.
48:59 Speaker 01 If you want to steal something though, that's like actually would piss them off.
49:02 Alex Cooper? What?
49:03 Speaker 01 His remote.
49:05 Alex Cooper? You're the devil.
49:06 Speaker 01 Ruin his fucking life. Ruin that man's life. Just take the remote. And he'll always think he lost it in the couch somehow. Taking someone's remote is probably the meanest thing you could do to a person.
49:18 Alex Cooper? More time that he has now to text you.
49:22 Alex Cooper? I'm like, babe, I'm just taking it so you can respond.
49:26 Alex Cooper? You just keep taking everything from his.
49:27 Speaker 01 Netflix was like distracting you from like our connection.
49:31 Alex Cooper? He's like, I hate you.
49:33 Speaker 01 You have to say, you don't really know a person until you've seen them in a room trying to find their remote. Fuck, go into a restaurant and seeing how they treat the waiter, hide their remote and see how they act. That is the real person right there.
49:44 Alex Cooper? Oh, because you've had it where they're like, what?
49:47 Speaker 01 Where the fuck? And they're flipping tables. You're like, okay, I don't want to have a child with you.
49:52 Alex Cooper? And then the next is you literally just are like, it was under your pillow. Here you go. It's really not that deep.
49:57 Speaker 01 That's the ultimate problem with men. They can't even find the thing that you told them where it is, but they're running the FBI. But I'm not, I digress.
50:05 Alex Cooper? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just move on.
50:06 Speaker 01 We don't have time to solve those issues.
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51:09 Alex Cooper? and lifestyles. Plus, BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours on hand experience and hold all required education, training, and certifications. You can meet with a range of professionals from marriage and family therapists to social workers and counselors. So Daddy Gang, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/daddy. That's betterh-e-l-p.com/daddy. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. Make their holiday unforgettable with a gift that says it all from Pandora Jewelry. I feel like the best gifts are always the ones
51:54 Alex Cooper? that feel really personal, right? Like, anyone can buy you something nice, but when someone gives you a gift that is actually meaningful, you appreciate it so much more. And that's what I do love about Pandora. They have so many pieces that you can really just make your own, from festive charms to personalized engravings and jewelry that can represent the people and the moments that mean the most to you. So whether you're shopping for your partner, or your mom, your best friend, you can find something that really is specific to them. That makes you think of the trip that you guys took together once, or maybe it's an engraving for your anniversary, or just a piece that feels like them the second you see it.
52:37 Alex Cooper? Pandora makes it so easy to give a gift that feels thoughtful and personal and makes every holiday moment even more meaningful and special, because at the end of the day, the best gifts aren't just about the piece itself, but it's the intention and the story behind them. Say more this holiday season with Pandora. Shop now at pandora.net or visit your closest Pandora store. Do you have any exes that like hate you? Do you have any, like are you on good terms with your exes?
53:04 Speaker 01 Great question. So my therapist told me that I'm a little, like I don't talk to any of my exes, except British Dave. I love British Dave, shout out to British Dave, an angel.
53:14 Alex Cooper? So cute.
53:15 Speaker 01 And then there's some who I know don't have good boundaries, so I block them. And one blocked me because um, he's a bitch.
53:27 Speaker 01 Any man who blocks you, that's an egg.
53:30 Alex Cooper? It's so fucking true.
53:31 Speaker 01 Cause I didn't even do anything to him and I'm like, oh my existence. And then he makes me, I check and he still has me blocked and I'll be like, she's still that girl. She's that girl. That's literally the craziest thing to think of a man.
53:46 Alex Cooper? Going to press block.
53:48 Speaker 01 Up. Like if I was the person he's with right now, and I, if I knew my husband had a girl blocked, I would be jealous. Cause I'd be like, what's wrong?
53:58 Alex Cooper? If you are blocked, he's in love with you.
54:01 Speaker 01 But then I had to blow up on TikTok, so he'd have to block me on TikTok too.
54:06 Alex Cooper? He's literally going to everyone. Now he has to block fucking Netflix, bitch.
54:09 Speaker 01 That's the thing. I joke about, I don't care what hard times you go to, because I actually, this particular man had, did stuff that like, he tried to hurt my career, which like, that's when I don't fuck with that. So then I was like, I didn't even want a Netflix special, but now I have to. And my friends would joke, because I'd be in Vermont doing like 10 shows, I'm dying. And they're like, is it worth it? And I'm like, it's fucking worth it, bitch. So I don't, and the thing is, sometimes you get this motivation from anger.
54:35 Alex Cooper? So good.
54:36 Speaker 01 But the best part is when you get to the point that you forgot why you're even mad at them. And then people are like, this is your time, like go on call her daddy, drop the name, call him out, tell, show the receipts. You don't care anymore.
54:48 Alex Cooper? But you're literally like, we, but I have a Netflix special. Who is he again? What did he do?
54:52 Speaker 01 You literally forget. And that's called healing.
54:55 Alex Cooper? It's not only is it healing.
54:56 Speaker 01 And I'm not like fully healed by any means, but it is close to healing.
54:59 Alex Cooper? Hannah, but think of him getting the email. Do you want to re-up your Netflix subscription? And he goes in to re-up it and your fucking face.
55:12 Speaker 01 No, that's, that's the Lady Gaga moment. Like anywhere you go, you'll have to see me.
55:16 Alex Cooper? Do you think any of them would label you a psycho ex?
55:20 Speaker 01 It's so funny. The most psycho thing about me is that I avoid confrontation. So I've had so many relationships that had zero fighting. And then one day I would just call them because I had to talk with my mom. And I'll listen to anything this angel bitch says. One of my worst relationships that like on paper, like everyone was like, this is the greatest thing for you. And one day I just poured my heart out to her being like, I don't feel good about myself. He's never laughed at one thing I said. He always walks in front of me by like five feet.
55:52 Alex Cooper? Oh my god.
55:52 Speaker 01 Like I, he controls everything. Like when I get to see him, all that stuff. And I was young. I was like 26. He was older. And she goes, you're not going to his apartment? And this is like two days ago. She's like, he's the best. She goes, you're calling the, picking him up, calling the phone, calling him.
56:08 Alex Cooper? You're picking, you're picking his body up.
56:10 Speaker 01 You're calling your phone pickup. You're picking up the phone to call him.
56:14 Alex Cooper? You're on the highway.
56:15 Speaker 01 And you're breaking up with him. And I was like, I was like, and she goes, I'm sitting with you. We're doing it right now. And I called him and I said, like, I want to end it. And he's like, what are you talking about?
56:24 Alex Cooper? He's like, and what?
56:25 Speaker 01 What? And he, I was like, okay, like I want to, I, I can't do this anymore. And then another guy was really fucked up.
56:31 Alex Cooper? That's a mind fuck.
56:32 Speaker 01 Another guy, which was so fucked up. He was so sweet, so nice. And my, I was like 23, 24. And my mom was just like, Hannah, he's not it. And like, I really liked him. He was so nice, but like I knew deep down that.
56:44 Alex Cooper? It wasn't right.
56:44 Speaker 01 He wasn't the one who wanted to marry, but he was so nice. Like just so, and like, he was great. My mom was like, mm-mm. And she was like, Hannah, you're wasting time. Like just get out of it. We have no issues. I call him and I was like, I think it was in person. I was like, we have, because once I decide I'm out.
57:00 Alex Cooper? You're out.
57:00 Speaker 01 So I was like, we have to break up. And he just looked at me. It was the saddest thing ever. He goes, so I can't like talk to you tomorrow? And I remember just being like, I'm sorry, like, my mom's a savage and I'm so scared of her. And she wants the best for me and she knows big picture and I can't waste my time with you because you're kind of a loser.
57:21 Alex Cooper? Hannah, not you blaming your breakup on your mom. You're like, it's my mom's decision.
57:25 Speaker 01 You can talk to Lenore, you can like, but she's over it. But then I've had times where she, one guy she liked that I wanted to break up with. I waited for her to go on vacation and I broke up with him when she was on vacation because I wanted her to enjoy her vacation. Comes back, I go, I broke up with him. She was like, Hannah, I love you.
57:41 Alex Cooper? I'm obsessed. I think that's like the most fun thing with like, I would say with my mom too, is like Lori has lived all of my relationships. Like when I just did an episode about this athlete, she was like, oh my gosh, but you didn't tell the story of this and this and this. She's like, my mom literally goes, you should make it a whole summer series that you do all these stories about him. I'm like, mom, we're trying to not get sued. Mom, also like, I'm married. Mom, calm down. She's like, but I wrote them all down. I have it in my notebook from your college days. When you would call me, I knew you would need these stories one time. Like.
58:11 Speaker 01 One fucked up thing, if my mom doesn't want to fuck him, I don't want to be with him. And I hate to say it, but it's so true. If your mom is like, he's nice, nope. I want my mom to be flirty with him. I want to see that she gets excited when this man walks in the room. And that is so disgusting and sick, but my mom is nodding, listening, be like, yep. I want my daughter to be with a fucking hot, like, because mom, my mom and I are very independent. If you're, we're gonna have a man in our life, they need to be an asset and good to look at.
58:43 Speaker 01 Period.
58:44 Alex Cooper? And that's all that.
58:46 Speaker 01 And I do have to say, I tell my mom everything too. And I posted, because I was so excited to go on Call Her Daddy today and I was like, guys, what? I'm going on a big podcast. Which one do you think it is? And I put like the little thing where people can comment.
58:57 Alex Cooper? You're like Rogan.
58:58 Speaker 01 My mom goes, Call Her Daddy. She knows. And I'm like, mom.
59:00 Alex Cooper? Wait, you're like, mom, I was just on the phone with you.
59:02 Speaker 01 She like got excited to answer. No, she's, she's that girl.
59:07 Alex Cooper? I'm obsessed with your mom and I'm just obsessed. I think it's really nice to be able to like, rely on your mom and then also blame your mom for everything.
59:14 Speaker 01 Well, there was, was it Julia Dreyfus, Louise Dreyfus? Sorry, she has so many names.
59:19 Alex Cooper? Yes, yes, yes.
59:20 Speaker 01 I think someone, I think it was her, gave a speech where she was just like, can we listen to older women? Like, older women know so much.
59:30 Alex Cooper? They know everything.
59:30 Speaker 01 So it's like, you have this asset that is your mother.
59:34 Alex Cooper? You came out of her, use her.
59:35 Speaker 01 And ask a ton of questions. And yes, I know some moms, like, you know, it's not always great. And then, ice her out.
59:43 Alex Cooper? Ice her out. If she's a fucking nice, like, literally narcissistic, sizeo, can I speak? I'm narcissistic speako. And you're like, I'm gonna pick up him and call the phone. It's literally so hot.
59:55 Speaker 01 You knew what I was gonna say, though. You knew what I was saying.
59:57 Alex Cooper? Ice her out!
59:59 Speaker 01 Anyway, so yeah, that's my problem. And I think some guys have been probably a little confused. But I've never, I've never pulled like a crazy moment. Like, I have so much pride and it could be insecurity, where like I never want people to think that I, that's why like things in my past have annoyed me, where people are like, she's obsessed with him or whatever. Like, I'm, I'm never put myself in that position, because I am prideful and insecure.
1:00:25 Alex Cooper? I get it.
1:00:25 Speaker 01 So like, when people, like, guys in the public, I'm like, that man has never made me laugh. He's like, annoys the fuck out of me. And like, I just want to have fun.
1:00:34 Alex Cooper? But isn't it annoying? I hate it, the double standard of like, a man can say that stuff and then people will, then other women will agree with the man and be like, you're so right. And then if a girl just goes right back out the guy, people are like, she's such a bitch. Like, why don't we gang up on the man, you fucking whores?
1:00:49 Speaker 01 I had that weird thing too, where some guys would like, they would like my attention or they liked my conversation or something. And that's like the most valuable thing to me, where it's like, I'd rather us just fuck and me, like, have a fun story, than you consuming my life, calling me eight times a day. And then like, men are not your friends. I have hilarious, beautiful people in my life. A man who's hot with no personality is not your friend.
1:01:16 Alex Cooper? And never will be. And probably shouldn't be your boyfriend either.
1:01:18 Speaker 01 No.
1:01:20 Alex Cooper? If they're too hot, they're scary.
1:01:22 Speaker 01 No, they are so scary.
1:01:23 Alex Cooper? Like, really scary. Let's talk about the special.
1:01:27 Speaker 01 Okay, Barbara Walters.
1:01:29 Alex Cooper? I.
1:01:30 Speaker 01 Rest in peace.
1:01:30 Alex Cooper? R I P a fucking lovey bitch. Um, you need to explain to me, how did this come to be? Tell me everything.
1:01:37 Speaker 01 I do have to say, from doing a reality show, you sometimes you feel larger than life. You feel like you're the coolest person ever, you're funny, you're perfect. Everyone loves you, which is like also not true. Or you can feel like they put mud on you and everyone just sees you with this stuff on you and you're trying to shower it off and you feel misunderstood. And feeling misunderstood was like my biggest fear and the universe was like, let's do it to you. And I was in definitely a place, but I was in a dark place, but I never felt stuck. I just was like, okay, we gotta pivot, we gotta pivot. I was in this like, where's the next thing? And TikTok was this new crowd where like people didn't know who I was. And I got to just like therapeutically, I would go on stage after reality TV and I
1:02:22 Speaker 01 would in my head be like, I hope these people don't hate me. And I was, but I had this drive to show them, like I want them to at least not like me because they don't like my comedy, which is such a like, uh, more peaceful perspective.
1:02:36 Alex Cooper? Right, because it's kind of like all in your control.
1:02:38 Speaker 01 Here's my art. Tell me if you don't like the art and like, cool, we're expressing ourselves and I needed to get better. And when I was on stage, it's fucked up, but my mind is very, doesn't shut up. So when I was on stage, it was the only time that I wasn't repeating or trying to figure out like my past. So I got to be present in that moment, telling my queef jokes, but it was like, it was like my safe space. And then comics was this crew of people who made me feel so much better about myself. They were like dying laughing at the shit I was going through with reality TV. Like they were, I was telling them these stories. They were like, I would have burned the house down. I would, and they made me feel a little more seen where you can feel in the wrong crowd, you really do feel like you're losing your mind.
1:03:21 Alex Cooper? Your mind.
1:03:22 Speaker 01 And that's what the point is a lot of the time. So. I I started to get this, I almost feel like hot girls don't traditionally go, let's do stand up comedy tonight, or let's go to the stand up comedy club. You go with your boyfriend. But I was able to kind of cultivate this algorithm of like, I'm biased, but like hot, successful, funny women who wanted to laugh and felt safe in their bedroom, laughing at comedy. And then with Giggly Squad and getting the girls to come out to the show, I was like, oh my God, we have this like group of women coming out to comedy shows, loving stand up. And a lot of them, it was their first ever shows and it was powerful. And because I was selling tickets, I didn't have to wait to like get chosen to be on lineups and stuff.
1:04:07 Alex Cooper? Interesting.
1:04:08 Speaker 01 I was like producing my own shows and then I started doing Hand on the Street where I was making friends with all these comics. And then the comedy community started embracing me in a way where I was just like, either you like me or don't, I don't care. Like, I don't need you to accept me, but like, because I came in with some of some followers. So some comics will be like, well, she didn't bomb enough basements. But I'm like, I want to build you. I wanted to be like Chelsea Handler-esque where I I bring people that are talented around me. Um, no matter how many followers you have, I fuck with you if you're like a nice person who's talented. And it's again selfish of me to be like, I I wanted, before you go famous, I'm gonna put you on.
1:04:47 Alex Cooper? Yeah, yeah. No, but I think it's like you recognize people that you fuck with. And I feel like sometimes you're right. People will be like, oh, I'm too big for that. Like, they make it, they make it. And then I'll give them acknowledgement where you're like, no, I felt like that person that didn't have that. And I wish someone would have recognized how talented I was and not been threatened, but like helped lift me up.
1:05:06 Speaker 01 Yeah. And then I just continued touring. I continued touring, get on the road, be with my girls, work on the jokes, work on the jokes, work on the jokes. And then Variety kind of noticed me. It was like, she's definitely got shit going on. And we get a call from Netflix.
1:05:21 Alex Cooper? Oh, my God.
1:05:22 Speaker 01 Now, the crazy thing about this call is my agent's like, Netflix wants to do a special with you. I I'm freaking out. Like, I have a video of me, like, I was like shaking. I go to the other room and I'm like, Dez, I got a Netflix special.
1:05:34 Alex Cooper? Oh, my God.
1:05:35 Speaker 01 He looks at me, no smile, and he goes, yeah, you're not shooting that. And I was like. I'm sorry, isn't this like the goal?
1:05:43 Alex Cooper? Wait.
1:05:43 Speaker 01 And he goes, you have nine more months of touring and you're gonna do those nine more months because your bits are gonna be tagged up and that much better at the end of it and you tell them you'll shoot it the latest you can possibly shoot it. So like he's immediate, he's a protector.
1:06:00 Alex Cooper? Of course.
1:06:01 Speaker 01 And he has done his own career where he's like, you don't rush into a special.
1:06:05 Alex Cooper? Right.
1:06:06 Speaker 01 But like, I love this material so much and I'm so happy that I basically told Netflix, like, in a year, I'll, I'll do it. So they were like, why? And I was just like, I think I could make it even better, even though they liked it at the time.
1:06:19 Alex Cooper? That's like
1:06:19 Speaker 01 So I like, I sat on that shit. Like, and I, I wasn't allowed, I didn't even tell Paige for like a month.
1:06:25 Alex Cooper? For a month.
1:06:26 Speaker 01 Just cause
1:06:26 Alex Cooper? For two minutes.
1:06:27 Speaker 01 I like looked at her too long and I was like, ah, cause I just wanted to sit in it, but it was such a great moment of like, it's not about the special, it's not about clout, it's about like putting out something you're proud of.
1:06:39 Alex Cooper? I thank you for sharing that because it makes it even cooler now to like, I can't wait to watch it. I was literally like, can I get a screener? And they were like, no. And I was like, okay.
1:06:48 Speaker 01 We were actually doing color correction still.
1:06:50 Alex Cooper? I was like, can I watch it? And they're like, no. And I was like,
1:06:53 Speaker 01 No.
1:06:54 Alex Cooper? Okay, fine, I'll watch it with everyone else.
1:06:56 Speaker 01 I'll fuck text her.
1:06:57 Alex Cooper? I'm excited, I'm gonna like have wine and Matt and I are gonna sit down, I'm gonna be sending you pictures, I'm gonna watch it, I'm so fucking excited. But I truly am so proud of you. Like, I feel like when I met you, I was like, oh my God, this is someone I could have been friends with my whole life. Like, having been athletes, like, knowing the fucking drama that you have from being an athlete, knowing the type of person it just like builds you into and you're like so competitive with yourself. And I think sometimes for especially women in sports, I feel like that gets misconstrued and we've dealt with like being our worst critics.
1:07:32 Speaker 01 So you getting up there. I think we fight similar battles.
1:07:34 Alex Cooper? All the time.
1:07:34 Speaker 01 I think that's why when we message each other, it's like, how are you doing against your demons?
1:07:38 Alex Cooper? No, Hannah and I.
1:07:40 Speaker 01 You're winning, you're losing.
1:07:41 Alex Cooper? If you go through all of our messages, we are only texting each other, like check-ins. We're like, I just saw this, how are you doing? I'm so proud of you. Proud of you, you good? Okay, talk in a couple of months.
1:07:53 Speaker 01 Like, have you slept?
1:07:54 Alex Cooper? Right, we're like, you good? And then we're like, you ready to come on the pod? You okay? Okay, you're wearing jorts? Amazing. Midlife crisis? Cue it now.
1:08:02 Speaker 01 Is there a cry for help?
1:08:02 Alex Cooper? I, I just am so excited for people to watch this and I feel like you, from when I met you to now, is what I was saying, is like, you were so funny back then. But we both were insecure and of course, we're both still insecure in some capacities. But like, I can't wait to watch the special because you are so much more yourself now than when I met you. You were, we were both going through it. Not that we weren't ourselves, but like you're, you're leading with like, you're so fucking talented. You are like, anyone I talked to about you recently are like, oh my God, fucking Hannah Berner, she's lights out. Like, I can't wait to see the special. Like, you are just, I get chills when I talk about it.
1:08:40 Speaker 01 I feel like I'm living in a dream. Like, I feel like I, I redid the last pod with Paige and then I fell asleep and then had a dream that you were sitting here being like, you had a Netflix special. Like, it feels like a dream, but I'm turning into my dad. He loves quotes and he was, it basically is like, what if your biggest dreams came true? And I think you are a good example of that because you showing that, because it's kind of lonely sometimes at the top and you showing that a girl could get a lot of attention and run a full company. Like, it's paving the way for other people to be like, oh, that dream is not too scary. And I do feel like with this special, I really hope that more girls are gonna be like, I'm just like Hannah. That's how I am
1:09:24 Speaker 01 with my friends. Wait, I like, I like fuck with this. I want to do stand up. Cause I have this conspiracy there that like, women are made for stand up. We're gossipers, we complain, we overanalyze. Like, that is what stand up is. So I just like disrupting male spaces and making men upset. And I think we ride at dawn.
1:09:46 Alex Cooper? We ride at dawn. Last question, Hannah, how are you gonna feel if your Netflix special is potentially in the background of some Netflix and chill sessions and people are fucking to your special?
1:09:58 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:09:59 Alex Cooper? Have you thought about that?
1:10:00 Speaker 01 That it's gonna be so awkward because I'll literally be talking about how hard it is to ride a guy while you're riding a guy. And I don't know how you'll recover from that. Or like how like you're holding in your fart when you're cuddling. And it's like, you haven't had to fart all day. And then suddenly the second his dick's on your butt, you're like, I have the biggest gas bubble I've ever had.
1:10:16 Alex Cooper? Hannah, there are gonna be Netflix and chilling watching you and she's like, oh my God, isn't it the worst when you're holding in your fart? And the girls are like,
1:10:23 Alex Cooper? Shut the fuck up Hannah. And you're like, how would I queef? And she's literally like, oh my God, maybe watch this with your girlfriends.
1:10:30 Speaker 01 But I think your boyfriends and the men in your life should watch it because it's quite educational. It's very educational.
1:10:36 Alex Cooper? It's for everyone. We ride at dawn Hannah. I could sit here and talk to you for 17 more hours. I love you.
1:10:42 Speaker 01 And thank you for also being so good at interviewing because you make me look good.
1:10:46 Alex Cooper? Bitch, you look fucking good. Except for the shorts.
1:10:51 Speaker 01 You're turning the page. Paige should be so mad.
1:10:53 Alex Cooper? I'm Paige. I'm like, what's going on?
1:10:55 Speaker 01 Paige is gonna be furious when I tell her I wore dorts on Call Her Daddy. She'd be like, you fucking disrespectful cunt.
1:11:00 Alex Cooper? But you guys have to, it's good. You both have, you're, you're different. It's very, I love, I'm like, you're different Hannah. It's just because you're different. I love you. Thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy. This was everything and more. I love you. This may have been our best work yet. No, I think it is. I love you.
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1:12:12 Alex Cooper? Go to K L A V I Y O dot com slash best friends. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. I love to accessorize my outfits with jewelry, obviously, and I feel like all the time depending on my outfit, it's going to be kind of dependent on what jewelry I'm wanting to wear that day. Discover Pandora Talisman, a new collection designed to help you express every side of who you are, because the most powerful statement you can make is being yourself, obviously. Daddy gang. They have meaningful zodiac symbols and personalized jewelry pieces. Each design tells a story that's uniquely yours, a reflection of what you stand for, what you believe, and how you choose to show up every day.
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Previous How to Pick Your Life Partner Next Breakup Bootcamp Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated
