Audrina Patridge: Surviving an Abusive Relationship (FBF)

This week, Father Cooper sits down with Audrina Patridge. Opening up like never before, Audrina details the abusive nature of her relationship and marriage to ex-husband Corey Bohan. She recounts the serial cheating, emotional abuse and extreme manipulation tactics that left her isolated from friends and family. After surviving years of abuse, Audrina escaped. She filed for a divorce and a restraining order and began to rebuild her life as a single mother. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of emotional and physical abuse, and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised. If you have been affected by domestic abuse, free, confidential support is available 24/7 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.7233 and online at www.thehotline.org.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

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• 0:45Alex Cooper?

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• 1:30Alex Cooper?

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• 2:13Alex Cooper?

  What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

• 2:22Alex Cooper?

  Audrina Patridge, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 2:26Alex Cooper?

  I am so excited. I have been an OG fan of The Hills. Congratulations on writing your book, Choices to The Hills and Back Again. What inspired you to tell your story?

• 2:39Speaker 01

  You know, I get, what really inspired me was all the DMs from my fans and just what I've been through throughout the years, they were always writing me wanting advice or to know how I got through this so they could relate to me. And at the time, what I was going through, sometimes it was so humiliating and I'd get so hard down on myself, but reading that like lifted me back up, knowing that I'm not alone. So that kind of inspired me to think, okay, well, this is my chance to answer all those questions in one place. Everything from The Hills to my relationships to basically everything that's out

• 3:19Speaker 01

  there in the media or gossip or whatever that I've, I've always bit my tongue. I never said anything. I just let people say whatever they wanted about me. Well, this was my chance to really put it all in one place and set the record straight.

• 3:32Alex Cooper?

  Writing a book, I can imagine, is, it's a huge process and you, in this book, take the reader through trauma that you've been through. Was it difficult to relive while writing this?

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Extremely. There were a lot of moments where I would break down and it was so hard for me. And you know, my ghostwriter, Jen Schuster, who is amazing, she was almost like my therapist through it all. And I would cry and she'd, you would talk through it and she's, I was like, I don't, I don't, I can't put that in there. And she's like, "Audrina, this you have to," you know? So it was very therapeutic and I got through it. And the more I talked about it and the more I kept having to read the book over and over, it's almost like I conquered something that I don't, I don't cry about. Out anymore. It's like, it was very healing.

• 4:23Alex Cooper?

  I can imagine that too, because it's almost like you literally started this being like, I wanted to finally just say my piece. And then naturally, there is a part of us that like, we always are like, wait, should I say this? And so it was kind of like, I love how your ghostwriter is like, Audrina, are we doing this or we not? We're going all in.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  We're going all in. And that's what I said. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be honest. I want to be open. So if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it the right way.

• 4:50Alex Cooper?

  Well, let's get into what you wrote about in the book.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:52Alex Cooper?

  Because there's a lot. Let's take a sip. Here we go. Okay, we're going all the way back. How were you originally cast on the hills?

• 5:03Speaker 01

  So I was actually, I moved to LA. I, so I was going to night school in Orange County and I wanted to be a psychologist. So I had to drop out of college, um, community college, because I was going to get dropped. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to move to LA and give it a shot. So the place I was looking at, um, didn't have anything available. And I met these two girls in the elevator and they overheard me talking. They're from Oklahoma and they needed a roommate. So it was just, that fell into place. So I ended up moving in with these two girls I didn't know. And then we were laying out at the pool one day and Adam DeVelo, who was there scouting for Lauren and Heidi, um, came up to us.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  And, you know, I thought he was this kind of cheesy producer, like, here we go again, some guy hitting on us, like, what's your club?

• 5:53Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Um, but he was scouting for Lauren's, Lauren from Laguna Beach, which I never watched, but I knew of her from tabloids and stuff. Um, so he liked my story, liked that I had my go-to nights in LA, that I was very connected. Um, and then we started filming two or three weeks later and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

• 6:15Alex Cooper?

  That actually makes a lot of sense too, now looking back, that you had your like connections already, because I'm sure they wanted to make sure that like Lauren and Heidi had a place to like plop in.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:24Alex Cooper?

  And you were like, oh, let's go to like Bootsy Bellows or whatever the hell it was called. And so like you knew what you were doing. Were you just like chilling at the pool in a bikini?

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:32Alex Cooper?

  Okay, I couldn't see where you were like, hello, sir.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  I was like, hi, can I help you?

• 6:36Alex Cooper?

  You're like, hello, sir. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. So you decide to start with the Hills. I'm interested because I think a lot of people, when you think about reality TV, immediately people are like, what did your family think when you're like getting followed around with cameras?

• 6:51Speaker 01

  They didn't know what to think. They didn't even really know what I was getting myself into, but they were very supportive. And I moved to LA because I wanted to do acting, so I was already auditioning for, you know, music videos and commercials and this and that. Um, so I figured, why not reality TV? That's not even a thing. I knew like the Jessica Simpson had a show. So that's kind of what I was like, well, it seems okay. Like it'll make me comfortable with cameras. Um, it was very uncomfortable. I hated it in the beginning because it's not just one camera. There's like three and there's lighting and there's people staring at you and it's a lot of pressure to be yourself and open up when you're just kind of thrown into that.

• 7:33Alex Cooper?

  I feel like you played the character of the girl who had great style, like super edgy. The leather jackets, like worn t-shirts. Like I was obsessed with your style. You were the cool girl and you loved the bad boys.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:48Alex Cooper?

  And we were all obsessed with your relationship with Justin Bobby. When was the first time you saw Justin Bobby and what did you think about him?

• 7:57Speaker 01

  The, so I was actually the receptionist at Coyote Studios and the first time we met, he was working there with Steven Mizell on a shoot for Madonna and I was a receptionist, so he kept walking in front of my desk, back and forth, and you could only go so far. And I was like, can I help you? Like, he's like, oh, I'm just looking for some magazines. And I'm like, there's a stack of magazines on the table in there. And then he would come back and he wanted a drink. And then he would call the office all the time and I'd be like, good afternoon Coyote Studios. And he'd be, he'd like make funny sounds and just call me to talk. And we just started hanging out and that's like before the Hills.

• 8:38Alex Cooper?

  We know that reality television relationships can be fake or can be edited to look a little bit different. What was the actual dynamic of your relationship with Justin?

• 8:49Speaker 01

  I feel like, you know, Justin is a very mysterious man.

• 8:56Alex Cooper?

  Yes, he is.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  You know.

• 8:58Alex Cooper?

  With his motorcycle.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Um, but you know, when we first started dating and off camera, Justin has the biggest heart and he's so caring and he listens and he actually cares. And it's not just me, it's whoever he's talking to. He's truly connected and cares about what you're saying and wants to help. And, you know, I feel like when I brought him into The Hills drama, you know, he was kind of like, that's not his, that wasn't even my circle that I would ever go into. Cause I, I was never a part of drama. So bringing him into that where he was instantly just like put on the spot. It kind of made him act out a little bit in his own way.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  And then it's like he wanted, it was like he didn't care, but he did care. So I got to see the Justin on camera and the Justin off camera, which they kind of captured both. And, you know, and after he watched the first or second season that he was on, he didn't like how he behaved.

• 10:02Alex Cooper?

  Were you frustrated though by the edit of you guys ever?

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Yes, because whenever there's cameras around, people act different.

• 10:10Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Um, and I've even going on other dates, like they just change people. But, you know, and Justin and I were very immature. We both played games with each other, so I'm, I can't just blame it all on him. Cause I was doing the same thing. But I wish that they would have showed more of us just like hanging out. They just wanted the action side of it, the drama side of it. Because if we were just hanging out, talking and talking about music or going and playing pool all the time, that's boring.

• 10:40Alex Cooper?

  Absolutely. Do you think that your relationship would have worked out had there not been cameras?

• 10:46Speaker 01

  I don't think, I've not in the beginning because we were so in the Hollywood scene and going out all the time and drinking. And there's always temptation around and other people pulling us in different directions. But I think as we got closer, yes, we could have, if we didn't have the producers always trying to put us at each other's neck and trying to get us jealous at each other to get a scene going.

• 11:12Alex Cooper?

  Yeah. So what was your first impression of Lauren Conrad?

• 11:18Speaker 01

  My very first impression of Lauren, when I met her with Heidi at the pool and then we went out, she wasn't the friendliest person. She was very closed off. And as we started filming, I kind of started to understand why she was like that and why she didn't just welcome people instantly. Because people used her a lot and like would throw her under the bus or you know, and I now I understand why she was like that. But in the beginning, she wasn't as friendly or welcoming.

• 11:48Alex Cooper?

  I mean, she was doing this since she was in high school, right?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:50Alex Cooper?

  And she started in Laguna. I'm wondering, like, by the time you started filming The Hills with her, from what you observed, like, how did she handle all the cameras following her around?

• 12:01Speaker 01

  She was so seasoned already. I feel like she had that experience. She was so comfortable with the cameras. She knew all the good one-liners to say. When the scene was ending, what to do. Like, she knew exactly what. She was a professional. She knew what she was doing.

• 12:15Alex Cooper?

  When you guys would shoot a scene, okay, you're done for the day, cameras are off, what was your relationship like with Lauren when the cameras were not rolling?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Well, we ended up living together. We had the best time together. We laughed, we did everything together. You know, we had our ups and downs. Lauren is a very opinionated person and a very strong personality. And, you know, if she doesn't agree with something or like something, she's gonna say it. And that's very respectful. I liked that. Because I don't like the black or the gray. I like the black or white. But we, we had some wild times.

• 12:49Alex Cooper?

  I remember watching them.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:51Alex Cooper?

  And it was very fun.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  We actually watched an episode for our podcast. And Brody and Frankie were like, "Oh, my gosh, you and Lauren, like, you don't even care what you guys looked like. You just roll downstairs after two hours of sleep." Because we had makeup down our face, our lashes, our hair. And I was like, "We really didn't give a shit what we looked like. We just woke up and went downstairs to film."

• 13:13Alex Cooper?

  Did you guys ever, like, complain to each other about the process? Or like, who hated production the most?

• 13:20Speaker 01

  You know, I think in the beginning, we didn't really care. We were all for it. We were young, wild, willing to do anything and everything because we were out every single night anyways. So it just made sense. Yeah, follow us. And we would drink, meet guys. Like, we had no responsibilities. So, young, wild, and free, you know?

• 13:41Alex Cooper?

  Kind of the life to live.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:44Alex Cooper?

  What was your first impression of Heidi Montag?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  So my first impression, when I first met Heidi, I met her at the pool. And we instantly hit it off because Heidi is so outgoing and fun and friendly and like, she, oh, she lives in her own skin. You know, she is who she is. And we actually hit it off immediately. And we'd go out all the time dancing and like, she'd come to my apartment and we would drink and laugh and tell jokes. And we had the best time.

• 14:14Alex Cooper?

  Can you believe that Heidi and Spencer are still together?

• 14:17Speaker 01

  I mean, that's one thing I respect about Heidi and them, or her and Spencer is because they have stuck it out. And they've been through so much. And, I mean, Heidi could have left him and had a whole different life, but she loved him and she was willing to sacrifice and do whatever it took to make sure that that worked. And, yeah, they're still together.

• 14:42Alex Cooper?

  How do you feel now that The Hills is officially over?

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Honestly, I feel good about it. I feel like it ran its course. I think this past new beginning season, we all got to a point where there were a lot of storylines at this point. A lot of my real life wasn't on the show. So I was all for the storylines where a lot of the people were putting their real lives on the line and wanting to film their real lives. Like Heidi and I, you know, your real friendship gets put on the line because they're asking you to say and do things for the sake of the show, but then you're trying to have their back. But you're also trying to like, do what you're supposed to do to make a TV show. So that was really hard for me. And Heidi and I, we ended up talking

• 15:27Speaker 01

  it out at the end. But in my mind, I had to separate my job from my real life. Like, this is our job. Like, let's make a good show.

• 15:37Alex Cooper?

  It must be like a little bittersweet though, because you're like, you've done this for so long. Like you now are the season one. Like you met Lauren, you're like, you're a season. Now you're the one. You're a vet. You know exactly how to do it. And now it's like, you're moving on with your life and you're not going to have cameras in front of your face. And it, you're not going to be a part of these crazy storylines. Like it feels like it's like a settling moment, but also like, kinda sad.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  I actually have a question for you. I don't know if you know this or not, but they just announced yesterday, I think that there's a, a new cast for The Hills. A new young cast.

• 16:11Alex Cooper?

  Wait, I didn't know that.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  That, yes, that they are, it's a new Hills of a new generation. And it's more diverse and it's about addictions and dating in LA again. And like, what do you think of that? Would you, I mean, I want to watch it just because, but I feel like.

• 16:29Alex Cooper?

  I mean, I think that that's really interesting. I, I didn't realize that. I think that as I've sat down with like a lot of reality television stars now. I just feel there's so, of course, there's some positives that come from it. I mean, I've had so many people be like, I have my career because of it. You know, I have my platform. I make now money from it. And like, it's brought so many good things, but there is this like negative toxic side that I think. Maybe in the OG days, it was a little bit more authentic. I feel now like reality should literally be labeled like reality scripted television. Because it's, it's not.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  It's improv acting, basically.

• 17:06Alex Cooper?

  Yes. And I feel like it's kind of detrimental to people's health at this point because of how much social media is ingrained in the, the process of it. And people are getting like death threats if you're the villain. And it's like, I'm not actually the villain. They're telling me to say this line. So like, I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know if I, I don't think I would ever do it now that I see this side of it. In the past, I'm like, oh, that looks cool. But now I think that we see a different side.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  It's so different now.

• 17:34Alex Cooper?

  I guess we're gonna have to tune in though.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  I'm gonna have to tune in.

• 17:36Alex Cooper?

  You have to.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  I know. I sent it to Brody yesterday. He hasn't wrote back. I was like, wait, they could have named it something else. Give this new cast a new name or like.

• 17:45Alex Cooper?

  Right. It's like the new Gossip Girl reboot. Where everyone's like, it's not gonna be with Blake Lively and Leighton Meester. It's just not the vibe.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  I know, I know.

• 17:53Alex Cooper?

  Shit, okay, we need to watch it. Also, like, there's just, when you compare things, I'm like, there's no way anything will ever be the iconic moments of The Hills.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:03Alex Cooper?

  The mascara moment. Yeah, like, exactly. Like, those moments that everyone remembers. Like, these poor people aren't gonna live up to that. So give them a new name.

• 18:20Alex Cooper?

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• 19:03Alex Cooper?

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• 20:28Alex Cooper?

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• 21:12Alex Cooper?

  to add entrepreneur to your list of accomplishments? Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy. Transitioning. Okay. Your book, you opened up about what happened in your relationship with your ex-husband Cory. And I mean, there's so much in it. And it was incredible to like, how much you opened up. I'm sure as hard as it was, there's so many young women that are probably reading this, like truly going to take so much from it for their personal life and gain strength. So I just want to say like, you're amazing for writing that way. Let's start from the beginning. What made you first fall for Cory?

• 21:56Speaker 01

  You know, when I first met him through a mutual friend, I was going through the ups and downs with Justin. And I just felt like I needed some, like, a guy that was respected and respected in his own industry and had his own thing going on. So when I met him at first, I never, I didn't think of anything of it. He had a girlfriend, you know, a year goes by, this is when MySpace was a thing.

• 22:23Alex Cooper?

  Who was your top five? Tell me now.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  I know, my song of the week. And, you know, our friend, it was just kind of happened organically just from hanging out. And then whenever he broke up with his girlfriend, he hit me up on MySpace. And Lauren and I decided to invite him to our Halloween party because we needed new guys. And we were hanging out with all these, or I was, with these professional BMX riders from X Games. And like, they're all hot and like, you know, or I was like, okay, I know who to invite. Like, we're inviting this group of guys. So that's whenever he first came on the show. And, you know, then we actually did have chemistry and I liked that he was respected. And, you know, he was very healthy and all about his career.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  And he just had a whole different vibe about him than these LA guys.

• 23:12Alex Cooper?

  And then that wasn't the case. And you write a lot about how you would catch him cheating. Which we've, I mean, I think I can say a lot of us, most of us have been cheated on and it's one of the worst feelings.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:26Alex Cooper?

  When was the first time you caught him cheating?

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Well, the, you know, whenever he would go on these tours all the time, I would always get Twitter messages from my, from fans that watched the show. And they would warn me and tell me that he was in a bar in Oregon that night making out with his friend. And they love me and they just want me to know. So whenever I would confront him, he of course would say, they're just lying to you because they don't want you to be happy. They're fans, don't believe other people, you're going to believe them over me. So then I started thinking, okay, well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. And so I tried to Lock it out and constantly believe him because I didn't want to believe it, but I kept getting these messages.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  And then we were never ever dating like solidly consistently for more than like six months ever at a time until I got pregnant. Um, because I was always filming or traveling and he was always gone traveling and had his life. So it was this off and on relationship where it's not a secret that it was toxic. I mean, there's pictures of me crying all the time on the street or you know, there's footage of it everywhere.

• 24:41Alex Cooper?

  Can you explain some of the red flags and manipulation tactics that you experienced in your relationship with Corey?

• 24:49Speaker 01

  It's like, so I always disregarded everything and I wanted to be in love. I loved him and I wanted it to work so ma- bad. That I was willing to change myself and do whatever to make him happy. That's a huge red flag. If someone doesn't trust you or they're constantly, you know, wanting you to delete your social media accounts or constantly wanting to go through your text messages or you're not allowed to talk or go on, or you can't even go have a girl's dinner without being blown up the whole time because you're being accused of going out to cheat or there might be a guy there that you run into like, those are all red flags. Run.

• 25:28Alex Cooper?

  It almost I'm sure made you at times feel paranoid of like, oh my God, now I can't do any of this because he's going to get mad. And when you're thinking all the time about making sure your partner doesn't get mad, like that's not.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're not even enjoying yourself. So it for me, it got to the point where, you know, I would rather not go out because I'd rather not have to deal with the fight and the accusations. And it wasn't just like a day fight. It would string out over like a week or, or something would happen and it would come back and like, you know, it was all projection and then. If he thought I was cheating on him with one of my producers, you know, when I was on the travel show and I didn't call him at a certain time when I was in bed, like hell would break loose. And then because of that, I wouldn't hear from him for three or four days. And then I'd find out he was with all these girls in his hotel room. So it was this really toxic struggle.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  It's like now, girls that go through that and they see those red flags, like pay attention, you know?

• 26:30Alex Cooper?

  I think also something you said to anyone listening that I definitely have experienced is like the, when they keep saying that you're the one cheating, that usually means they're the one cheating. Like you said, projection. Like, why are you so obsessed with me cheating? I have not done anything to make you think that.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  And you usually start finding the truth out after, like, and that's the thing with my ex and our relationship, I would forgive, and then things would be amazing. And then I would find the truth out three months into us being amazing. And it would be like, not again.

• 27:03Alex Cooper?

  No, like, why should I just be good?

• 27:14Alex Cooper?

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  I'm picturing cooler weather, cozy sweaters. Oh my God, maybe a little cottage where we can escape for a little weekend. That's what I love about booking a home on Airbnb. Whether you're traveling with family, friends, or your partner, everyone has space to relax while still being together. Even if you're traveling for a concert or a game, you have one place where everyone can get together and convene after. Before the holiday season gets busy, treat yourself to one more fall getaway and check out Airbnb while you're planning it. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home,

• 28:50Alex Cooper?

  drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. You wrote in your book, "I had grown used to being woken up in the middle of the night by Cory, standing over me yelling and cursing things like, 'You're pathetic, you're a failure, you're a fake cunt.'"

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:26Alex Cooper?

  To what extent were your family and friends aware of the abusive nature of your relationship with Cory?

• 29:33Speaker 01

  They weren't aware of that. I tried to hide it from a lot of people because it's embarrassing. It's humiliating. And that's after, you know, I had my daughter and I wanted it to work. I had a hope, but it just gradually kept getting worse. And I thought if I, if we got married and now we have this beautiful child together, like, things would be great. He could now know that I'm his. Like, I'm not gonna cheat on him. Like, stop worrying about that. Like, this is my life now. So again, it was projection because coming home so late and calling me those names and making accusations and not having any self-control. That was a huge red flag too, and I I hid it for a long time.

• 30:18Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, I really appreciate you saying that because I think a lot of people can relate to that, like feeling embarrassed to tell people. And that's another sign, right? Like when you're hiding it from the people that love you the most that would accept anything that you come to them with like. It but it's so hard to just open up about it because there's also a part of you that wants it to get better.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:40Alex Cooper?

  And believes it can change. You wrote also about finding the naked photos and the sex on his phone.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:49Alex Cooper?

  And I have personally experienced that and literally your heart.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  It rips your heart out.

• 30:54Alex Cooper?

  In those moments, how did you keep it together?

• 30:58Speaker 01

  I had to because I remember when I'd see that, it's like I had to get up the next day and go film and try to pretend like everything's fine. And I would cry. I I kind of started to learn how to block it out and like show up with a smile. Do what I needed to do and cry after like you just, it's like you turn it on when you need to for cameras because otherwise. And and I this happened with Heidi a lot. I would always, she knows me. So like we would start talking barely in a scene. And she'd say one thing and then I couldn't hold it together and I'd just start crying. And they didn't show a lot of that, but it's like I couldn't help it.

• 31:42Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  So um, yeah, it's hard, but whenever you see that, it's hard. I cried. I was mad. You know, I yelled. I was like, get out of my house. Get out of my house now. And he wouldn't leave. He would not leave. So I would go sleep in the other room. And I would end up leaving my own house in the morning and you know, then he would be, it's my fault because I wasn't giving enough attention or. I didn't do this or you know, so then it's like, what? Like this is such a mind.

• 32:12Alex Cooper?

  Again, it's almost gaslighting. Like you just caught him doing something and somehow in two seconds, it's turned around on you of like, well, you don't give me enough attention. That's why. And he's justifying, like him getting nude photos. And I remember you wrote about how you were like, and then I would try to convince myself, like, maybe the girl didn't mean to send it to him.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  I know, but then I would get a message from the girl because he called her and she would write me saying how he loves me so much and they just talk about me all the time. And I'm like, yeah, but I saw your entire vagina and what you wrote to him. Like, how are you, and you're a fan, but like, you're going after my boyfriend? Like, what? It's just, it's weird. It's

• 32:51Alex Cooper?

  Very toxic. You write about when you found out you were pregnant and you talk about how Cory was like so excited. He was so excited, so ready to have this baby with you and for the future. Did you believe that Cory could change once he became a father?

• 33:09Speaker 01

  I did, like a hundred percent. And I remember he was, you know, there is these ups and downs. And especially once Kira was born, it's like the happiest I had ever seen him. And he was so excited to be a dad and just for this new chapter in our lives. You know, but things gradually got worse. It kept getting worse and worse and worse.

• 33:34Alex Cooper?

  How, were you so lonely?

• 33:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, gosh, I'm gonna get like teary eyed. This is another, it's like hard to go back.

• 33:41Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Um, I was, but I had my family. So I sold my LA house because I didn't feel safe there. And I, I took a break from TV and I was like, this is my life. Now I'm gonna make it work. Like, I am, I'm such a fighter and so determined. And, you know, my main priority was my baby and making it work with him. And I moved in with my, you know, moved in with my parents. I was stayed with them until my house sold. I was back and forth. Um, but thankfully I had my family and friends.

• 34:15Alex Cooper?

  So did they kind of then start to realize? Because now he's like not even a part of your pregnancy?

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I mean, they did, but they also knew that his career, he was in, you know, Budapest, or he was in Australia for three months, or he had to be here. Like, that was his job. But at least, like, don't disappear for four days.

• 34:34Alex Cooper?

  And not even text you back. He wasn't even calling you or texting you or like.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  So that drove me crazy. And I, again, that's something I didn't want anyone to know either because I was stressing out, but I, I didn't want it to appear like that. Like I really wanted it to work. So.

• 34:49Alex Cooper?

  And cause like when you're pregnant, you, that's supposed to be a time where you're stress free and, and you're trying to, so I can understand why you probably were just trying to like, keep it together because you're like the energy for my baby. I just need to like, be with my family and not focus on that.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  You kind of learn how just to change your focus, your priority. And my priority is to be healthy for this baby and do whatever it takes. No matter what happens, like this baby is my everything.

• 35:15Alex Cooper?

  So, once you gave birth, was Cor- you write about basically like, it, it was a struggle for Cory to be a good dad. Did you trust him to parent without you there?

• 35:30Speaker 01

  You know, when we were together with Kira, he was an amazing dad, you know? He made her laugh. He played with her. He'd bring me food. He'd, he was very helpful. Um, but he was gone all the time. He was always gone. But that, you know, he, he couldn't just be with her. He had to have all of his friends there and turn it into like a drinking fest. And it's like, can't you just be with your daughter one night or two nights, just you and her and not make it a thing or like a friend thing?

• 35:59Alex Cooper?

  I mean, I can't imagine like, I'm not a mother, but I, I can't imagine the anxiety you have the minute you have your child and everything, every step they're taking or breath they're having. You're like, oh my God, I, you need to focus on them. And when you wrote about in the book, how you walked in and your daughter had throw up all over her.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  Over. Well, she had it. It was like stains all over the bassinet. And when I got home that day, I knew when I FaceTimed him and they were drinking and running around naked in the living room. The music was loud. I knew right then, I was like, okay, your priorities are not right. Like this isn't happening again because she, I think she was only four or five months. So, you know, you have to be, you can't drink or have too much fun. You have to be there, like mentally in case something happens or they wake up and they cry. You can't go drinking with your friends and then pass out with a baby upstairs.

• 37:01Alex Cooper?

  You then get married. What was going through your head the morning of your wedding day?

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Uh, there is so much, um, and I got married, you know, five months after I had my baby and I remember my sister was there the night before and was even like, Trina, you don't have to do this. Like, let's get on a plane and let's go. Mom and dad will handle it. Like, I was like, I can't do that though. Like, we've gone this far. All of our families here from Australia, from like, everywhere is here. Like, everyone's here on this island for a week and I was such a people pleaser at that point, which now, I mean, I've done so much healing and I've grown so much. If I could go back, things would be different. Um, but yeah, I was, I just kind of was in robot mode, kind of like,

• 37:53Speaker 01

  jumped back into this like, mode that I used to get in on the hills where almost like, performance mode, like, okay, just get your hair and makeup done, walk down the aisle. Everything's gonna be fine. Just get through it. Everything's gonna be fine.

• 38:09Alex Cooper?

  It's so sad too, because comparing it to the hills, it's like you've learned how to kind of like, just turn it on and off. Like, turn yourself off and turn on like, just get through it mode. And yet, we're talking about like, your life. Like, this is, this wasn't being filmed. This is your wedding. Like, it's... What advice would you give? Because I know a lot of women that have written in being like, "I don't know, but I'm getting married." What advice would you give to someone who's waking up on their wedding day with a pit in their stomach, knowing they don't want to, but they feel like they should? Like, what advice?

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Don't do it. Because once you bring a baby into it, into the world, things don't get easier. It gets harder. And then marriage on top of that with finances and parenting and decisions, like, that all makes such a difference. And it's not just dating or having your space to go to anymore. Like, you're together with someone forever. So, don't rush into getting married. Take your time.

• 39:07Alex Cooper?

  Things kind of got worse.

• 39:18Alex Cooper?

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• 40:02Alex Cooper?

  clear waters of St. John, or exploring the cultural twin cities of St. Croix, you'll find yourself swept away by the rhythm of the islands. So why wait? Start planning your escape today and visit usvi.com. You write about a moment where he physically pushed you and you were holding your baby. Can you kind of walk me through that moment of what you were feeling?

• 40:28Speaker 01

  I, it was kind of like that fight or flight mode. Like, I kind of froze and I didn't know what to do, but things kept escalating. And when I was pushed back, you know, and Kira started screaming and crying, and then I started crying, and then he realized what happened, and then he started crying. It was just like, everything just spiraled and it got worse. And it's like, you know, that's when my family got involved and when the police got involved. And that's after going to therapy and trying to make it work. It's like, you're not changing. You're not wanting to change. Like, I can't do this anymore.

• 41:11Alex Cooper?

  Not only is it obviously not okay to shove you, but the image of reading it of you holding your daughter while he's shoving you, it's just like heartbreaking. Because it's going back to like the fight was, wasn't it about, he thought you were cheating?

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yes, well, not that I was, I knew that he was.

• 41:30Alex Cooper?

  He was cheating, yep.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  And at that point, I was so numb, I didn't care. I was kinda like, and I talk about this in the book. I got to the point where I was almost like, I'm glad that you're cheating, like go be with anyone you want, just don't touch me. Like, I don't wanna be around you. Your energy, like everything, it just made me wanna run.

• 41:52Alex Cooper?

  I think it was very admirable of how you wrote about how like you knew the minute you called the police, it was gonna be kinda over.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:04Alex Cooper?

  Can you, if someone's listening, explain where you mentally were at, where you knew like that you needed to do this for you and your daughter?

• 42:11Speaker 01

  I knew that that moment I called the police, that's the end of it. And, and I knew that after what had happened and just the, he wasn't gonna change. And I gave him so many chances. And once I had my daughter, it's like, I wasn't living for me anymore. It was my life now is to protect her and to make sure she has the best life. And, and I knew that it would go all over the tabloids because it's public records, which it did, which I was dreading. And that's why I didn't wanna do it. I wanted to keep our life private. And it did go everywhere. You know, it's humiliating.

• 42:49Alex Cooper?

  After you called the police, was that also when you got the restraining order?

• 42:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that kinda came after because he kept showing up at my events, following me, making a scene. He kept calling, he kept showing up, and it's like... Leave me alone. So you know, after eventually, eventually my lawyer was like, Adriana, this is not right. There is enough evidence. She's like, I'm getting you a restraining order. And I was like, Well, are you sure that's the right thing to do? That's going to go public now. And like, It was constantly like, I had to stop caring about the public and what people thought and just do things for me and what was good for me and my daughter.

• 43:26Alex Cooper?

  Sometimes those extreme measures are imperative at that point because how much farther would it go if you didn't?

• 43:34Speaker 01

  I know. Yeah. So in my mind, that's where I knew this is it. It's time. And I was so depleted energetically, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I was, I mean, everyone around me knew that something I was just, I lost so much weight. I was isolated. I wasn't myself. And I was trying to get back out there and smile and like, but it just, I, it wasn't there. So I just knew like, it's time.

• 44:03Alex Cooper?

  You wrote a lot about how the mental abuse affected how you viewed yourself. You wrote, when you're told you're a piece of shit every day, you begin to believe it. It becomes your reality. You stop fighting back and slowly start to die inside.

• 44:22Alex Cooper?

  How did you get the strength to leave when you feel so depleted like that?

• 44:29Speaker 01

  I got the strength through going to church. I turned to God. I literally, me and Kira would go every Sunday. I got into a, a small group. I had support. I had a support system and guidance and I would cry all the time and like, I finally built up that courage and just kept praying. And I was like, is this the right thing to do? Divorce doesn't, you know, at the time, it didn't run in our family. Like you married, you, you like hashed it out till the end. You make things work. So it was really, that decision was really, really hard for me to do. But going to church and just having faith and

• 45:06Speaker 01

  doing what was right for my daughter. Like that's, that's what helped me through it. And I, I think that was the best decision I've made. So I, I'm in such a happy, I mean, I'm in such a good place now. I'm happy. My daughter's happy. You know, she, you know, she has the best of both worlds and she's with all of her family and her school and like I, I'm just, I'm healed enough where I'm open to dating now.

• 45:35Alex Cooper?

  Since your divorce, have you been able to try to find healthier relationships and are there things you're immediately looking for?

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:45Alex Cooper?

  Having boundaries now?

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, maybe a little too hard of boundaries.

• 45:50Alex Cooper?

  Audrina, no such thing. Kay, I love this for you.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  My friends are like, Audrina, your standards are up to here. Like, you know, it's like, I love to flirt and whatever, but no, I, it's like, I'm not dating for me anymore. It's my daughter too. So it's whoever I date next is, has to be the real deal. It's not just, I'm not just gonna bring them into my life to meet my family or my friends or it'll be someone that no one will really know I'm with until it's solid and it's good. And then people will be like, oh wow. That's, that's where I'm at right now.

• 46:25Alex Cooper?

  I love that for you so much and you deserve that. What do you wish people understood about what it's like to be inside of an abusive relationship?

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Um, it doesn't have to just, it's not, sometimes when people say abusive relationships, they think physical. But abusive relationships aren't always physical. It's emotional. It's being called a piece of shit. It's, you know, being put down all the time. Internally, it takes a long time to recover from that and to get your confidence back and to feel like you're you again or like you are lovable. Like someone will love you again. Like, don't believe that you're never gonna be loved again or you're not good enough. Like you are. So it's just, you know,

• 47:15Speaker 01

  it could be spiritually, physically, emotionally, any kind of abuse. It's just that word doesn't necessarily mean physical.

• 47:23Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Um, and it's, you know, toxic relationships. Like, it's not right. You gotta get out of it. You need support. Like, get yourself out. And it's not easy. Once you're in it, like, it's like you're, you're swimming and you're trying to keep your head above water and you're barely breathing and you need someone sometimes to come and pull you out. You can't do it on your own.

• 47:44Alex Cooper?

  Audrina, thank you so much for coming on. I like, I, your book truly, like, I felt like it was such a journey to read and there were so many fun moments, so many intense moments and it all really came together and I feel like I'm excited to just see what you do next because we've watched you for so freaking long and I'm like sad that I'm not gonna be able to see you on TV, but you have a podcast now.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  Yes, the podcast with Brody and Frankie. It's a Hills rewatch, but we talk about other things too. It's not just the Hills, so.

• 48:13Alex Cooper?

  Is it fun for, do you think it's like a fun thing to rewatch?

• 48:16Speaker 01

  No, I, okay, can I be honest? It is so cringy for me to watch. I cannot watch it without having like a glass of wine.

• 48:24Alex Cooper?

  You're like, I didn't say that.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  It's like, what was I thinking? Like, and then I think, okay, this is great. Like, one day, when my daughter's old enough, I'll watch it with her and be like, this is what you're not doing and this is what will happen if you do what I did.

• 48:37Alex Cooper?

  I truly don't know a world without the Hills. You guys basically like created reality television in a sense and it's, it's gonna be sad for it to be gone, but I'm excited for the podcast.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Maybe when we're like old people again, like give it another 20 years, we'll be like 50, 60, ready to do it again. I don't know.

• 48:57Alex Cooper?

  Let me be so clear, I would watch. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Audrina.

• 49:02Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. That means a lot.

• 49:04Alex Cooper?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 49:22Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. I love to accessorize my outfits with jewelry, obviously, and I feel like all the

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