On The Brink of Discovery

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr Happy Halloween from Jonathan Marie and Mr. Fantasy! This week, Brooke and Connor talk about setting boundaries, discovering new things, and read some of your irrational fears. Plus, Connor feels his feline instincts take over as Brooke reveals that she is actually married. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm now to get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/5vj8zukj #CashAppPod As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code BNC at https://www. Ridge.com/BNC #Ridgepod Make laundry day the best day of the week! Get 20% off your entire order @LaundrySauce with code BNC at https://laundrysauce.com/BNC #laundrysaucepod B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Podcasters Must Die 00:52 Welcome Jonathan 02:19 Intro 02:37 Costume Reveal 07:13 Love is Blind 10:18 Hairballs & Whiskers 14:26 Feline Instincts 16:39 Hello Fresh 18:20 Cash App 20:29 The First Thinkers 23:53 Flight Predictor Invention 25:57 The Diplomat 27:29 Making Discoveries 30:28 Irrational Fears 32:22 Getting Real About Peeing 37:24 Ridge 38:36 Laundry Sauce 40:28 Toothpaste Flavors 45:23 Alternate Realities 48:05 A Little Bit Unhinged 52:14 Brooke’s Criminal Past 54:46 Faking Marriage 58:38 Scary Movies 1:01:49 B Rated Horror Movies 1:04:56 The Moon Man 1:07:00 Shiny Bald Men 1:09:19 See You In Bonus!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:29Speaker 01

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• 1:06Speaker 02

  Oh my god, you're always trying to zip me up, aren't you?

• 1:08Speaker 03

  Tristan, if I don't, who would?

• 1:13Speaker 04

  Podcaster's dead. Save it for the podcast.

• 1:18Speaker 04

  A killer runs free.

• 1:22Speaker 04

  Which one of us is next?

• 1:26Speaker 04

  Who is the podcast killer? What about podcasting drives him so mad?

• 1:31Speaker 04

  Find out with some more on our brand new podcast.

• 1:44Speaker 00

  Anyways, I want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode.

• 1:53Brooke Averick?

  I don't want to ruin y'all's surprise, so I'm not going to go back there, but I do know he's back there.

• 1:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah?

• 2:01Brooke Averick?

  One, two, three, four.

• 2:10Connor Wood?

  Mama, it's me, Jonathan.

• 2:12Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god! Oh my god! That's so cute! That's so cute!

• 2:22Brooke Averick?

  You had your location on, dummy.

• 2:23Connor Wood?

  No, it's off!

• 2:24Brooke Averick?

  Mm-mm.

• 2:26Connor Wood?

  I mean, Mama, it's off! No, it's off!

• 2:30Brooke Averick?

  That's really cute.

• 2:32Connor Wood?

  It's off!

• 2:33Brooke Averick?

  Mama, my baby!

• 2:35Connor Wood?

  That was the first thing I did when I woke up was turn my location off.

• 2:40Brooke Averick?

  I'm too quick for you.

• 2:42Connor Wood?

  Find me, location, not sharing location.

• 2:48Brooke Averick?

  It was on as hell.

• 2:51Connor Wood?

  Hey, Ryan.

• 2:57Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well, now it's off. But I did see you here.

• 2:59Connor Wood?

  You saw me here?

• 3:00Brooke Averick?

  I swear.

• 3:00Connor Wood?

  Okay, so how broken is our thing? Like, what if I was a government employee?

• 3:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Connor Wood?

  What if I was a government-

• 3:05Brooke Averick?

  That's so adorable.

• 3:07Connor Wood?

  Mama!

• 3:26Brooke Averick?

  Wow! Oh, your little beans!

• 3:30Connor Wood?

  Beans.

• 3:30Brooke Averick?

  I thought you were gonna be really scary when I saw you, like, peek out.

• 3:33Connor Wood?

  I mean, it's pretty, it's not like...

• 3:36Brooke Averick?

  I thought you were gonna be a-

• 3:37Connor Wood?

  You saw me do that crap?

• 3:37Brooke Averick?

  Werewolf.

• 3:38Connor Wood?

  You saw me do that crap, huh?

• 3:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I thought you were gonna be a werewolf.

• 3:42Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 3:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:44Connor Wood?

  Well, I guess if you're listening on audio, I don't know what to tell you. You should know better, that three years in, you should be watching the Halloween episode.

• 3:53Connor Wood?

  Jonathan's a boy, but my nipples are showing through my blouse.

• 3:55Brooke Averick?

  So are mine!

• 3:56Connor Wood?

  And like, girl, boy cats don't really have nipples in this way.

• 4:00Brooke Averick?

  Yes, they do!

• 4:01Connor Wood?

  Just two?

• 4:04Brooke Averick?

  Six.

• 4:06Connor Wood?

  Six nipples, huh? How come we only have two? Do we-

• 4:11Brooke Averick?

  I think 'cause we don't, they have so many kids, they have a litter, that they need... Oh wait, Jonathan's a boy.

• 4:18Brooke Averick?

  I guess it doesn't matter, 'cause everyone starts as a girl, or a boy. So we all start as girls, we all start as girls.

• 4:25Brooke Averick?

  Or boys.

• 4:26Connor Wood?

  I don't know, it's impossible to say. This is so early for a science conversation.

• 4:30Brooke Averick?

  We all start as girls.

• 4:33Brooke Averick?

  Oh, cool.

• 4:33Connor Wood?

  No, humans do not all start as girls.

• 4:35Brooke Averick?

  We all start indifferent.

• 4:37Connor Wood?

  We all start in an indifferent state.

• 4:39Brooke Averick?

  I thought we all started with

• 4:42Brooke Averick?

  vaginas or something.

• 4:45Connor Wood?

  Vagina.

• 4:48Brooke Averick?

  We all have the same structures for gonads, which are neither male or female.

• 4:55Connor Wood?

  Go figure.

• 4:57Brooke Averick?

  Interesting.

• 5:00Connor Wood?

  Female is default. Well, it's sometimes said that female is a default. This is because a female developmental pathway occurs without the specific signals from the SRI gene. Okay, you know.

• 5:09Brooke Averick?

  Here, all. Ooh, wait, really quickly, Izzy, I parked right out front. Am I gonna get towed? Okay.

• 5:18Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you're making me like feel maternal.

• 5:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah, this is making you feel maternal?

• 5:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Oh, your claws.

• 5:26Connor Wood?

  I know, the claws are actually.

• 5:28Brooke Averick?

  Your little claws.

• 5:29Connor Wood?

  Fresh set, fresh set.

• 5:31Brooke Averick?

  Well, I'm Mr. Fantasy.

• 5:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Oh, my gosh, look at you. You look great. Yeah, that's an outfit you should wear out and about.

• 5:37Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna wear it on actual Halloween.

• 5:39Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's epic.

• 5:40Brooke Averick?

  It's so freaking epic.

• 5:42Connor Wood?

  Happy Halloween, all.

• 5:44Brooke Averick?

  Happy Halloween. We are a few weeks behind Halloween, so it doesn't feel like Halloween at all, does it, to you?

• 5:50Connor Wood?

  No, because of the temperature.

• 5:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's very hard.

• 5:52Connor Wood?

  Pretty much 80 degrees.

• 5:53Brooke Averick?

  It's 80 degrees and.

• 5:54Connor Wood?

  To be honest, it's 80 degrees.

• 5:55Brooke Averick?

  And in full transparency, it's 80, so.

• 6:00Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 6:01Brooke Averick?

  Nothing Mr. Fantasy can't handle in my wife pleaser.

• 6:05Connor Wood?

  I feel like a girl with Botox. I genuinely, when I laugh, I go, that's funny. I can't smile at all.

• 6:11Brooke Averick?

  Are you like done up under your fur?

• 6:16Connor Wood?

  How show you think my my face painted?

• 6:19Brooke Averick?

  Yes, or just around your eyes.

• 6:20Connor Wood?

  Just around the part the mask is pretty much just my face.

• 6:23Brooke Averick?

  It's just.

• 6:23Connor Wood?

  Thank God, because you have like, we got to a point where I was like, I wish Brooke's cat was white. You know, because we're putting a lot of we're putting a lot of paint on my.

• 6:32Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 6:32Connor Wood?

  Face that I'm like.

• 6:33Brooke Averick?

  Sure, you might have been uncomfortable with it.

• 6:35Connor Wood?

  Let's be careful with where we go here on this podcast.

• 6:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Connor Wood?

  But no, it's pretty much just this. This is a prosthetic that has a lot of fur on it.

• 6:43Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 6:43Connor Wood?

  A lot of people say hair is going to be worse than glitter in terms of how it stays with you.

• 6:47Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 6:48Connor Wood?

  Long term, which is great. I have emphysema now and.

• 6:52Brooke Averick?

  Emphysema.

• 6:53Connor Wood?

  I'm at phimphazema. Yes, thank you. And you can, uh. I chat out to Shayna yet again.

• 7:00Brooke Averick?

  Hi Shayna.

• 7:00Connor Wood?

  Shayna in the house.

• 7:01Brooke Averick?

  She's so talented.

• 7:02Connor Wood?

  Shayna does all our SFX here. We love.

• 7:05Brooke Averick?

  Shayna to Tristan for the slasher.

• 7:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I heard. I heard. Fantastic. And the slasher movie should be out by now. So everyone.

• 7:11Brooke Averick?

  It should.

• 7:12Connor Wood?

  Check it out. DMG Studios at TV.

• 7:14Brooke Averick?

  I'm obsessed with Mr. Fantasy's hair.

• 7:16Connor Wood?

  Honestly, he's a cut that you maybe might want to explore.

• 7:19Brooke Averick?

  Well, I told you I'm getting bangs.

• 7:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Do you think is that have anything to do with Mr. Fan?

• 7:23Brooke Averick?

  No, it doesn't. It's my sister got bangs and they look so good, but I can't tell if it's just because she's pretty. But we have the same face shape.

• 7:32Connor Wood?

  Nothing hurts feelings more than like when you go to, I went to get a haircut one time and I showed this picture, the screenshot of this dude. He's like a rugby player and I'm like, I'd like this cut. And the dude was just like.

• 7:43Brooke Averick?

  You want the body.

• 7:44Connor Wood?

  You need to go to the gym.

• 7:45Brooke Averick?

  Right. So I don't know, but her bangs are really like wispy. It's like a few strands. So I wouldn't be doing Mr. Fantasy's blonde bob.

• 7:55Brooke Averick?

  I would just be doing like a few wisps.

• 7:58Connor Wood?

  There's nothing a few wisps can't help.

• 8:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:00Connor Wood?

  Or hurt or whatever.

• 8:01Brooke Averick?

  Agreed.

• 8:02Connor Wood?

  I need to actually check my phone really quick.

• 8:04Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 8:05Connor Wood?

  Um, because I had notes for us to touch on before we got started here today.

• 8:09Brooke Averick?

  Okay. I am watching Love is Blind.

• 8:11Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 8:12Brooke Averick?

  And I guess in a few, when this comes out, like all will be said and done, but it is a great season. And I think you would actually really get a kick out of this young man, Joe. Um, because he had to leave the function due to alcohol consumption.

• 8:29Connor Wood?

  Thank you for.

• 8:30Brooke Averick?

  And no, he's just like funny. That wasn't related.

• 8:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah, okay.

• 8:33Brooke Averick?

  It was not related.

• 8:35Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God.

• 8:36Brooke Averick?

  And he was like, I have to go. And his, um, fiance, who he's like, very clearly like not super interested in.

• 8:44Connor Wood?

  Sure.

• 8:45Brooke Averick?

  Who's like, why? And he's clearly like trashed and she's like not understanding.

• 8:49Connor Wood?

  Oh, I heard about that.

• 8:50Brooke Averick?

  Yes. And he's like, I'm tired. And she's like, why? Let me, I'll go with you. And he's like, no, like, I just need to go. And she's like, I don't get it. Okay, fast forward.

• 9:02Connor Wood?

  She wakes him up from like a drunk nap, right?

• 9:04Brooke Averick?

  He naps, she wakes him up. And she's like, hi. Hi, sleepy boy. And he's like, oh, what are you doing all dressed up? And she, she's in her bathing suit still. He's like, you going out? And she's like, what are you talking about? Like, I just got back from the pool party. And she's acting like she's like never seen a drunk person in her life. And he's like, uh, okay. And she like, we just have to watch it if we can, maybe in the bonus.

• 9:33Connor Wood?

  Cause she's like, oh, you said the same thing five times.

• 9:36Brooke Averick?

  She's like, did you like drink too much or something? And he's like, no, why are you asking that? And he like literally can't get a sentence out. And she's just like, not like, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

• 9:48Connor Wood?

  A lot of people sober, if you wake them up from a nap are worse than.

• 9:51Brooke Averick?

  Have you never woken up before?

• 9:55Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, I really like him. He's pretty toxic, but he's a good guy.

• 9:59Connor Wood?

  Love that.

• 9:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:00Connor Wood?

  Self-awareness is so key. Does he know he's toxic?

• 10:02Brooke Averick?

  Um, I would, I would assume so, honestly.

• 10:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 10:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I like him a lot.

• 10:08Connor Wood?

  Me too. Love you, Joe. Shout out. We should have Joe on.

• 10:12Brooke Averick?

  I would. Joe has a podcast. I've obviously been diving pretty deeply into Joe.

• 10:16Connor Wood?

  He has a podcast?

• 10:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Or he was on a podcast.

• 10:20Connor Wood?

  If you were to start a podcast today and you, it's just the pod, it's like,

• 10:26Connor Wood?

  you've never had a podcast, you're exactly who you are. What would you, what would you? What would you make it about? How, what is Joe's podcast about? Sorry.

• 10:34Brooke Averick?

  Or me or me as Joe?

• 10:36Connor Wood?

  Oh, like as an, as, as like, as like a, as like an average Joe, like, like he has a following, but like, what would, how do you start a new podcast today?

• 10:44Brooke Averick?

  Everyone's doing it.

• 10:47Connor Wood?

  How? Oh my god. This hair.

• 10:51Brooke Averick?

  I think they're just talking about like themselves and what they like. It's kind of like a new age like journal for a lot of people.

• 11:00Connor Wood?

  That's true. I said yesterday, we did this interview and they said, would you rather never post a TikTok again or never podcast again? I was like, I need podcasting. Oh god, I'm gonna have to get my stomach pumped. There's so much hair in my mouth.

• 11:11Brooke Averick?

  You know, my boys have never coughed up a hairball.

• 11:15Brooke Averick?

  They just throw up regularly.

• 11:16Connor Wood?

  I'm going by Jonathan today.

• 11:18Brooke Averick?

  Oh JJ.

• 11:20Connor Wood?

  I love whiskers. Um, why don't we have whiskers? Why do they have whiskers?

• 11:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, what is the function of whiskers?

• 11:28Connor Wood?

  Let's look up the function of whiskers. What, if you had to guess?

• 11:29Brooke Averick?

  If you had, yeah. You know, that was a really good question on one of my tests.

• 11:33Connor Wood?

  I know what it is.

• 11:34Brooke Averick?

  And it was like, what's the function of boogers? And I was like, that's a great question.

• 11:37Connor Wood?

  To have whiskers is like to have sonar. I think it's that-

• 11:39Brooke Averick?

  I think it's like, yeah.

• 11:40Connor Wood?

  So they spatial awareness.

• 11:41Brooke Averick?

  Navigate tight spaces.

• 11:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:43Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, that's a really cute cat.

• 11:45Connor Wood?

  And to communicate their mood. What's my mood?

• 11:51Brooke Averick?

  You used a word the other day when we were doing those like press interviews that to describe yourself and I was like, huh? But now I'm trying to recall the word.

• 12:01Connor Wood?

  You won't be able to here today.

• 12:02Brooke Averick?

  It wasn't horny, but it was adjacent.

• 12:04Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'm a hussy.

• 12:05Brooke Averick?

  Hussy. Yeah. Oh, I guess it's not an adjective.

• 12:09Connor Wood?

  No, that's a-

• 12:09Brooke Averick?

  How spectacular?

• 12:11Connor Wood?

  Someone can be a hussy.

• 12:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. But what's the adjective of hussy?

• 12:18Connor Wood?

  Um, you're being slutty, kind of. Like, yeah. But like pause con.

• 12:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, amazing con.

• 12:25Connor Wood?

  Holy shit. I think I'm allergic to this.

• 12:29Brooke Averick?

  You were allergic to your last few costumes as well.

• 12:33Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 12:33Brooke Averick?

  Can you breathe out of your nose?

• 12:34Connor Wood?

  I can not breathe out of my nose, but that might be a blessing in disguise.

• 12:40Brooke Averick?

  Are your lips painted white?

• 12:42Connor Wood?

  Are they turning white? Were they, they are painted white?

• 12:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 12:45Connor Wood?

  Okay, geez, scared me.

• 12:49Connor Wood?

  I will go down with this ship.

• 12:52Brooke Averick?

  I like can't stop looking at you. You're adorable. You look like Jonathan. You don't need to be doing that, but it's like, no, you don't need to be doing that, baby. No, oh my, okay, well, thank you. No, no, no, no, no.

• 13:14Connor Wood?

  He's purring.

• 13:15Brooke Averick?

  Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, no. No, my Jonathan doesn't do this. My Jonathan doesn't do this. My Jonathan has the most amazing boundaries, as we've discussed.

• 13:27Connor Wood?

  Probably because his whiskers are giving him facial awareness. Mine are too short, so I don't know how close I am to you.

• 13:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you're shedding all over my wife's finger.

• 13:34Connor Wood?

  Damn it. Get off of me.

• 13:37Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Jay Marie.

• 13:39Connor Wood?

  Jay Marie, how do you set boundaries in your house with cats?

• 13:43Brooke Averick?

  Well, you know, Jonathan used to suck on my neck and lips, which we're not gonna, which we're not gonna, which we're not gonna, we're not gonna. Stop!

• 13:52Connor Wood?

  Ow, my knee!

• 13:53Brooke Averick?

  Okay, okay. This is what happens.

• 13:58Connor Wood?

  That's why you set boundaries.

• 13:58Brooke Averick?

  But I set boundaries with him. And now he just stays a good, respectable distance away from me in his, in his Kelly Clarkson.

• 14:09Connor Wood?

  You gotta get, you gotta get Jay Marie a Kelly Clark.

• 14:13Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, Rob and John in their own mini Kelly Clarkson.

• 14:17Connor Wood?

  I think I just broke my knee.

• 14:18Brooke Averick?

  You will be so fine.

• 14:22Connor Wood?

  Well, happy Halloween, all.

• 14:23Brooke Averick?

  Halloween.

• 14:24Connor Wood?

  Do you have any more? So, the issue was outside. I was kinda filming around.

• 14:30Brooke Averick?

  You have, you shedded all over my mic.

• 14:32Connor Wood?

  That is like, not a life that I chose. How are you gonna shed shame me?

• 14:39Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's like breaking my heart, because Rob sheds more, sheds more than John. I wonder if any like pets shed shame, shed, shed shame each other. I wonder if it's embarrassing to shed, or if it's like hot.

• 14:52Connor Wood?

  Look at all this hair that came off of me.

• 14:54Brooke Averick?

  Damn, he sheds.

• 14:55Connor Wood?

  Damn.

• 14:56Brooke Averick?

  Damn, he's a shedder.

• 14:57Connor Wood?

  Did you see how much Rob shed today? That is hot.

• 14:59Brooke Averick?

  That is like all the girls talking in school. Like, damn, he sheds so much.

• 15:07Connor Wood?

  Like every time I breathe, do you see a storm of hair that comes out of my mouth? It's coming out from the back of my throat.

• 15:12Brooke Averick?

  My wig is also shedding. No, all I had to tell you about was Love is Blind because we did speak, we did record the podcast yesterday as well.

• 15:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 15:18Brooke Averick?

  Um, and I didn't even tell that well, but I was just, I was laughing and I said Connor would love this.

• 15:24Connor Wood?

  Oh, I mean, I'm not gonna watch it. That's the thing about me.

• 15:27Brooke Averick?

  I tried to look for a clip of it, but I couldn't find one. So let's just forget about it. Forget I ever said anything.

• 15:34Connor Wood?

  Is that John?

• 15:35Brooke Averick?

  No. Oh. Oh, no, this is, um, a different, this is a different drinking concern with a different guy. Yeah. It's an amazing season.

• 15:47Brooke Averick?

  A lot of drinking concerns.

• 15:49Connor Wood?

  What else is there to do when you're on Love is Blind?

• 15:51Brooke Averick?

  Liter- no, truly. Uh, there's, you shed it into my eyes.

• 15:55Connor Wood?

  It's just like, it's out of my control, you know?

• 15:59Brooke Averick?

  Well,

• 16:01Brooke Averick?

  you rubbed up against my face. That was in your control.

• 16:04Connor Wood?

  No, that's something that my instincts told me to do.

• 16:07Brooke Averick?

  Your feline instincts?

• 16:08Connor Wood?

  Instincts? My feeling?

• 16:11Brooke Averick?

  Feline.

• 16:12Connor Wood?

  You said feeling.

• 16:13Brooke Averick?

  I didn't.

• 16:13Connor Wood?

  It's recorded on a podcast.

• 16:14Brooke Averick?

  I said feline instincts.

• 16:16Connor Wood?

  I'm feeling instincts right now. Uh-oh.

• 16:19Brooke Averick?

  It's a good name for a band.

• 16:20Connor Wood?

  Hold me back. I'm feeling instincts coursing through my body. I am

• 16:27Brooke Averick?

  Randy. That's how I would describe you. Randy.

• 16:29Connor Wood?

  Furry right now. I was outside, like filming a TikTok to, uh, White Flag by Royal Otis.

• 16:39Brooke Averick?

  In this piece?

• 16:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah. And I was like filming and this trucker drives up and goes, window down, agape. Cause he must've been like, it's 7:45.

• 16:50Brooke Averick?

  Right. That was his first thought. Um, remember when we-

• 16:55Connor Wood?

  He's feeling instincts right now.

• 16:57Brooke Averick?

  Remember when we accidentally spread, uh, furry propaganda on the podcast?

• 17:01Connor Wood?

  What did we say?

• 17:01Brooke Averick?

  We spread that story about, well, because we thought it was real, the litter box in the classroom, which was actually just furry propaganda. Someone planted that story to make furries look bad.

• 17:12Connor Wood?

  Oh no. I mean, I'm not making them look good, but.

• 17:16Brooke Averick?

  Because there was no litter box in the classrooms.

• 17:19Connor Wood?

  I'm, I'm gonna do something today that, I don't know. I want to end up on the news.

• 17:25Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure you do.

• 17:26Connor Wood?

  I'm feeling instincts.

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• 18:27Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well...

• 18:27Connor Wood?

  What are instincts? Sometimes instincts can... Sometimes instincts can blow my mind.

• 18:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, like hunger is an instinct.

• 18:35Connor Wood?

  Hunger, I get.

• 18:36Brooke Averick?

  Or is that a feeling? What's the difference between an instinct and a feeling?

• 18:40Connor Wood?

  I think eating is the instinct, but hunger is the feeling.

• 18:42Brooke Averick?

  Eating is not an instinct. Eating is an action.

• 18:45Connor Wood?

  You have an instinct to eat. You don't have an instinct to feel hungry. Feeling hungry is just your body.

• 18:50Brooke Averick?

  Instinct is an innate, automatic, survival-driven reaction.

• 18:53Connor Wood?

  Reaction, which is an action.

• 18:55Brooke Averick?

  No, that's the... It's the op... It's not at all.

• 18:57Connor Wood?

  A reaction is something you do.

• 19:00Brooke Averick?

  Right, but it's like...

• 19:01Connor Wood?

  Well, feeling is a broader term for emotions.

• 19:03Brooke Averick?

  I don't think eating... Eating is...

• 19:06Connor Wood?

  Can we just type in, "is eating an instinct"? I think eating is an instinct.

• 19:10Brooke Averick?

  The instinct would be to eat, but like not the action of eating.

• 19:13Connor Wood?

  Your hunger is... And your reaction to hunger is eating. Eating is not a single instinct.

• 19:20Connor Wood?

  But a combination of instinctual drives, learned behavior.

• 19:23Brooke Averick?

  Like hunger is the...

• 19:24Connor Wood?

  Okay, so...

• 19:25Brooke Averick?

  And the need to eat is an instinct.

• 19:26Connor Wood?

  But like if...

• 19:30Connor Wood?

  If like, oh.

• 19:32Brooke Averick?

  Every action has an equal opposite reaction.

• 19:35Connor Wood?

  That's different, I think, but yes.

• 19:38Brooke Averick?

  To quote, I think it was Thomas Jefferson.

• 19:43Connor Wood?

  It's one of those boys, who cares, but, um, Thomas Jefferson, every, every action.

• 19:49Brooke Averick?

  Every action has an equal opposite reaction.

• 19:51Connor Wood?

  No, that's straight up Albert Einstein, I'm pretty sure.

• 19:54Brooke Averick?

  Well, Thomas Jefferson dash Albert Einstein.

• 19:57Connor Wood?

  Well, because it's E equals MC squared, I think that's, every action has an equal opposite reaction.

• 20:02Brooke Averick?

  I'm just telling you what I, what Jefferson said to me.

• 20:06Brooke Averick?

  Via the Hamilton soundtrack.

• 20:08Connor Wood?

  What'd he say?

• 20:09Brooke Averick?

  Every action has an equal opposite reaction.

• 20:15Brooke Averick?

  Hold on, John, I'm shot at the bed.

• 20:18Connor Wood?

  There's a drive for survival happening right now on this podcast.

• 20:22Connor Wood?

  And I'm feeling instinct.

• 20:23Brooke Averick?

  Washing.

• 20:23Connor Wood?

  Ooh, I need to stop saying that, that's like the sixth time.

• 20:27Connor Wood?

  Oh, you're gonna get, we're gonna get flagged.

• 20:28Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 20:29Connor Wood?

  We're gonna get flagged.

• 20:30Brooke Averick?

  For one sentence? Will we get flagged for one sentence?

• 20:37Connor Wood?

  If we get flagged and I, like, I swallow enough hair to, like, end my life, I'm really gonna be, it's not gonna be an awesome day for.

• 20:46Brooke Averick?

  Every action has an equal opposite reaction. Does that make sense?

• 20:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it does, but I think it's important to remember that people can repeat each other.

• 20:55Brooke Averick?

  I said, he's quote, Thomas Jefferson is quoting whoever you're talking about, Edison.

• 21:01Connor Wood?

  I always think about like how lucky these, these young men were to just be in a time where like, no one had seen an apple fall from a tree yet.

• 21:10Brooke Averick?

  They had seen it, they just hadn't really thought, given it much thought.

• 21:13Connor Wood?

  I'm such a thinker that I'd be like, you guys, that apple just fell.

• 21:15Brooke Averick?

  So you're saying that you would have discovered gravity?

• 21:17Connor Wood?

  You guys, that apple just fell, something's up. You know, I'd be like, wait, we should talk about this. Brooke, we would completely have a podcast where we'd be like, hey. What is that thing when you're hungry? And you'd be like, I think it's a feeling instinct.

• 21:32Brooke Averick?

  I think that's a good point that if we had a podcast back in the day, we would plant the seeds for those smarter than us to really do the deep diving.

• 21:41Connor Wood?

  Imagine if right now, or a past episode even, we've planted a seed for someone that's smarter than us.

• 21:50Brooke Averick?

  I have an idea.

• 21:51Connor Wood?

  What?

• 21:51Brooke Averick?

  I had an idea for someone smarter than us. You know, snow day, remember snow day predictor?

• 21:56Connor Wood?

  No.

• 21:57Brooke Averick?

  Where you would like put in the website where you would put in your like zip code and your school and it would tell you exactly what the chances of having a snow day was.

• 22:04Connor Wood?

  Well, no, because it didn't snow.

• 22:05Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay. Well, you would be like, here's where I live. Here's my school. Here's how many snow days we've had already.

• 22:10Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's pretty fun.

• 22:11Brooke Averick?

  What are the chances that I won't have school tomorrow? And they'll be like, you have a 50% chance of having a delay.

• 22:15Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's epic.

• 22:16Brooke Averick?

  I want that for my flights.

• 22:19Brooke Averick?

  Like, I want you to tell me what the likelihood of my flight being canceled or delayed or whatever is.

• 22:23Connor Wood?

  I'd say about 99% today.

• 22:26Brooke Averick?

  I'm not, I'm not, I'm not asking you. I'm just saying I want.

• 22:29Connor Wood?

  I'll be, I'll be your snow day predictor.

• 22:31Brooke Averick?

  No, no, no, I want that website to exist. I'm not getting on a plane today or anything, so it's all good.

• 22:38Connor Wood?

  It's not, I'm not talking about today. I'm saying today's day and age, every flight is probably delayed.

• 22:42Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I'm totally understanding what you're saying now. It wasn't before and now I am.

• 22:48Connor Wood?

  That would be nice.

• 22:50Brooke Averick?

  To have Washington on your side.

• 22:52Connor Wood?

  You wouldn't be able to predict like, oh, Connor Wood is on this flight and his dog's about to shit his brains out all over the.

• 22:57Brooke Averick?

  Right, but my website wouldn't have those capabilities.

• 23:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Brooke Averick?

  But it would be able to tell me if I.

• 23:02Connor Wood?

  Weather, sure.

• 23:03Brooke Averick?

  Weather, yeah.

• 23:04Connor Wood?

  Weather delays.

• 23:05Brooke Averick?

  Back when we had that nor'easter a few last weekend.

• 23:07Connor Wood?

  I'm familiar.

• 23:08Brooke Averick?

  I was like, I need to know if my flight's gonna be canceled. I have no idea. Where is the website? And I was Googling, I was everything like that and shit like that.

• 23:17Connor Wood?

  Binging, binging. Were you on Bing?

• 23:19Brooke Averick?

  Binging, I was on Yahoo and AOL. I was saying, is my flight gonna get canceled, blah, blah, blah. No one could give me a straight answer. Make the app.

• 23:29Connor Wood?

  We're calling on those, we're calling on our future ancestors to make the app.

• 23:35Brooke Averick?

  Our future ancestors, descendants.

• 23:37Connor Wood?

  Did I stutter?

• 23:41Connor Wood?

  It means the same thing.

• 23:41Brooke Averick?

  That's also, it's such a, you're like spitting Hamilton today.

• 23:47Brooke Averick?

  Like, sorry mama. The spirit of Jonathan is entering you because you know he loves Hamilton.

• 23:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah. He do.

• 23:55Connor Wood?

  I started watching, I had a night that I couldn't really sleep last night, just because it was one of those nights where you can't really sleep.

• 24:01Brooke Averick?

  Me too Connor.

• 24:02Connor Wood?

  But I was also dreaming, I was dreaming my ass off last night. I had a dream, so I started watching The Diplomat, which is an awesome show.

• 24:10Brooke Averick?

  What's that?

• 24:11Connor Wood?

  It's like Veep, but for real.

• 24:13Brooke Averick?

  Is that with Theo James?

• 24:15Connor Wood?

  No, I don't know if, he might come in it later, but right now I'm on the episode one.

• 24:18Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm thinking of The Gentleman.

• 24:20Connor Wood?

  The Gentleman's one of my favorite shows on the planet.

• 24:21Brooke Averick?

  With Theo James?

• 24:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Did you watch it yet?

• 24:23Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 24:24Connor Wood?

  It's such an amazing show filled with rich British people, which I love. But this is a great cast and I really-

• 24:31Brooke Averick?

  There's nothing Alison Janey is not in.

• 24:33Connor Wood?

  Who's that?

• 24:35Brooke Averick?

  Alison Janey.

• 24:37Connor Wood?

  Oh, I haven't seen her come across my desk yet.

• 24:39Brooke Averick?

  I can't think of anything she's not in.

• 24:43Connor Wood?

  She's in I, Tonya, oof.

• 24:45Brooke Averick?

  She's in everything.

• 24:47Connor Wood?

  There's a tweet that came out, one of my favorite tweets, it was like, what should I watch tonight? Someone said, I, Tonya, and she said, I don't give a fuck who you are.

• 25:00Brooke Averick?

  That's good. I miss Twitter.

• 25:02Connor Wood?

  Twitter's funny. It's not funny anymore.

• 25:04Brooke Averick?

  That's what, like I miss the way things used to be.

• 25:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 25:10Brooke Averick?

  Juno, that was the only movie I've, I was not allowed to watch, ever.

• 25:16Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 25:17Brooke Averick?

  I guess my parents thought I was gonna get pregnant.

• 25:21Brooke Averick?

  Which is historical.

• 25:23Connor Wood?

  That is historical. They write books about that. I can't believe I started spitting so much interesting stuff about like, what if we discovered the apple? And then you were like, I want to know if my flight's delayed. I think I was really on the precipice of something just now.

• 25:38Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, I was just talking about like, I was like following your train of thought in terms of inventions and stuff.

• 25:43Connor Wood?

  I'm not talking about inventions, I'm talking about discoveries, baby. Like I want to discover something. It's crazy, like, what about, we already found all the colors.

• 25:54Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 25:56Connor Wood?

  No?

• 25:57Brooke Averick?

  I think so.

• 25:58Connor Wood?

  Let's get on it, Brooke. Like, why not?

• 26:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Many significant questions and phenomena remain undiscovered. You could do like black holes and stuff.

• 26:07Connor Wood?

  No, too much.

• 26:08Brooke Averick?

  Dark matter.

• 26:08Connor Wood?

  I think black holes are a little bit.

• 26:09Brooke Averick?

  Quantum gravity. Scientists are still trying to develop a unified theory that explains how gravity works on a quantum level.

• 26:16Connor Wood?

  No, and quantum...

• 26:17Brooke Averick?

  If you could define quantum for me, Connor, what would you say?

• 26:21Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God. Where do I... I mean, how much time do you have?

• 26:24Brooke Averick?

  Uh, I thought like 40 minutes.

• 26:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah, quantum to me, and it's subjective.

• 26:29Brooke Averick?

  All words are subjective?

• 26:30Connor Wood?

  Quantum, quantum to me, um, could be any sort of number, and pick a number between 1 and...

• 26:39Brooke Averick?

  Pick a number between 1 and 20.

• 26:40Connor Wood?

  Pick a number between 1 and 20 for me right now.

• 26:43Brooke Averick?

  16.

• 26:43Connor Wood?

  Exactly. That's what I was gonna say. It can be divided, it can be multiplied, it can be plus minus. You can do anything you want, and that's quantum.

• 26:51Brooke Averick?

  And you're doing anything you want?

• 26:53Connor Wood?

  Doing anything you want, as long as you don't harm anybody else, and it, and not yourself, hopefully, either, then it can be quantum.

• 26:59Brooke Averick?

  16.

• 27:00Connor Wood?

  16 can be quantum.

• 27:01Brooke Averick?

  16 on God.

• 27:03Connor Wood?

  And if you pick a different number between 1 and 20, that could be your quantum, baby.

• 27:06Brooke Averick?

  Endometriosis as well, Connor.

• 27:08Connor Wood?

  That's more in my wheelhouse.

• 27:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:12Connor Wood?

  Because I think I'm gonna get endometriosis after I swallow this entire mask.

• 27:15Brooke Averick?

  Endometriosis is uterus specific.

• 27:20Connor Wood?

  Okay, um, I don't really, I don't really, I'm not really familiar with the entire uterus right now, but quantum, if we could circle back to quantum.

• 27:32Brooke Averick?

  Let me go back to something I'm more comfortable with. Quantum.

• 27:35Connor Wood?

  Now, the utero, in utero, if you're, if you were in utero right now, if you were in utero right now, Brooke, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. I'm in utero right now. What would you say?

• 27:50Brooke Averick?

  What are you on?

• 27:53Connor Wood?

  Whatever chemical was in the airbrush paints that went into my every lung.

• 27:57Brooke Averick?

  If I was in utero, what would I say?

• 27:59Connor Wood?

  And put yourself in my shoes for a second.

• 28:01Brooke Averick?

  Hi mama!

• 28:02Connor Wood?

  Hi mama! Put yourself in my shoes.

• 28:04Brooke Averick?

  I'm trying.

• 28:04Connor Wood?

  You would.

• 28:05Brooke Averick?

  I'm trying. Yeah, if I'm in your shoes.

• 28:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 28:08Brooke Averick?

  As Jonathan.

• 28:09Connor Wood?

  I'm in utero.

• 28:10Brooke Averick?

  In utero, yeah. Hi mama. Slay.

• 28:14Connor Wood?

  Yep.

• 28:19Brooke Averick?

  Okay, do you want to move on to like irrational fears and shit like that?

• 28:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we had everybody send in irrational fears. We actually hopped into the Facebook group, which is, which is a great, um, resource for anything BNC, except any sort of feedback. So, I, uh, also want to flag that if you're looking to sell tickets, or get your hands on Brooke's book, great resource for that as well. Hello, so these are my Facebook responses for irrational fears.

• 28:51Brooke Averick?

  You think I'm peddling my book in the Facebook group?

• 28:53Connor Wood?

  I mean, if they were trying to find a place to get your book and it was sold out somewhere and they're like, well, I went over. I'm peddling my tickets.

• 29:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, good, good, yeah.

• 29:01Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 29:03Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 29:04Connor Wood?

  Better than me? Um, okay.

• 29:06Brooke Averick?

  No, no, no.

• 29:06Connor Wood?

  As a kid, I had an irrational-

• 29:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna sell my book on the Facebook group.

• 29:10Connor Wood?

  I'm saying if people were looking, like, when they're looking for a place to buy my tickets or whatever, they're reselling.

• 29:14Brooke Averick?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 29:15Connor Wood?

  So if someone buys 15 of your books, and then needs to resell them for a higher price, hop into the Facebook group, book and call.

• 29:20Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 29:21Connor Wood?

  "As a kid, I had an irrational fear that if I didn't do the sign of the cross when I flushed the toilet, it would clog and flood. That eventually escalated to my whole family would perish if I didn't do it. Even though I've outgrown the fear, I still do it to this day. I'm not religious in any way, by the way."

• 29:39Brooke Averick?

  No, but you might have obsessive compulsive disorder.

• 29:41Connor Wood?

  OCD, yeah.

• 29:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I get that. I feel like there's a lot of toilet-based irrational fears. I used to think a knife would fly up.

• 29:51Connor Wood?

  Out of the toilet?

• 29:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 29:55Brooke Averick?

  So I would go, that's why I would go in the, I would turn around and go in the front. So I could watch. The hole.

• 30:01Connor Wood?

  You'd like, uh.

• 30:02Brooke Averick?

  Like straddle.

• 30:03Connor Wood?

  Like side saddle.

• 30:03Brooke Averick?

  So I could watch the toilet hole. Cause I felt like if a knife was about to come up, it would, there would be signs. That I could keep an eye on.

• 30:14Connor Wood?

  Actually, sitting, if you're gonna sit and pee facing the, facing the bowl. It can be great because if you had.

• 30:20Brooke Averick?

  I did that for, I peed facing the bowl for years.

• 30:23Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, Brooke. You're gonna get a, a hemorrhoid.

• 30:28Brooke Averick?

  There's no difference. You're not pushing harder.

• 30:33Connor Wood?

  You're so right. But I think I, I was.

• 30:36Brooke Averick?

  Why don't we all pee like that?

• 30:37Connor Wood?

  I don't know. I think the, I think we would, I would, I think we would find, I think if men and women and everybody sat to pee. Facing the, facing that way.

• 30:45Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 30:45Connor Wood?

  I think we might, we might find that we're not so different, you and I.

• 30:49Brooke Averick?

  That would be, that would make, if men wanted to sit while peeing, it would make more sense for them to sit facing the back of the toilet.

• 30:56Connor Wood?

  Right, cause you could eat cereal. Or read a book and you could.

• 30:59Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, you could, yeah, prop anything up on the tank.

• 31:02Connor Wood?

  It's fully like a little desk.

• 31:04Brooke Averick?

  It's completely a desk.

• 31:06Connor Wood?

  That's my tiny desk in VR.

• 31:07Brooke Averick?

  And I feel like. I don't know if I'm just like, I don't know why I'm feeling this way, but I feel like there's more room for the, for to not make a mess.

• 31:18Connor Wood?

  You lost me.

• 31:19Brooke Averick?

  Like. I feel like there's less. I feel like you're gonna be sitting back farther. I can't explain what I'm thinking. I feel like there's more toilet for you to pee in.

• 31:33Connor Wood?

  There's more real estate.

• 31:34Brooke Averick?

  There's more surface area if you're sitting. Side saddle. Straddle.

• 31:43Brooke Averick?

  Does that make sense?

• 31:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it does.

• 31:45Brooke Averick?

  I feel like you're like, when you sit on the toilet regularly, you kind of like sit in the middle. You know? You're not sitting all the way back leaning back. You know, you're kind of, you're kind of hunched.

• 31:56Connor Wood?

  The back is there for a backrest.

• 31:58Brooke Averick?

  Right, but no one's really using it that way.

• 32:00Connor Wood?

  I'm not really backresting my back on that.

• 32:01Brooke Averick?

  If you sit the other way, you are gonna intentionally lean back more and give yourself more space.

• 32:06Connor Wood?

  I think that in terms of like the way that things should flow, that does make sense in, like the way you would lean, like a. I want kind of elbow saddle, so I could kind of like.

• 32:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you know, like you lean forward a little bit. Yeah, I think that makes sense.

• 32:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, thanks.

• 32:21Connor Wood?

  Oh, an interesting thought.

• 32:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:23Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna do it today.

• 32:24Brooke Averick?

  I think you should and let us know. Cause you sit while peeing sometimes, right?

• 32:28Connor Wood?

  Of course.

• 32:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:29Connor Wood?

  I'm not ashamed to say that.

• 32:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, try the other way.

• 32:33Connor Wood?

  I think any man that says that they don't sit down to pee ever.

• 32:38Connor Wood?

  Look inward.

• 32:39Brooke Averick?

  I used to try to stand.

• 32:43Brooke Averick?

  I had a little brother. So it was like, that looks so fun.

• 32:47Connor Wood?

  I had a friend who had a little brother, like, I guess, five years younger than her. And she had a little sister in between them. And she would, when her little brother was younger, she was like, she didn't know, boys don't wipe after they pee. So she was like, you need to wipe. You don't need to wipe. I didn't see anyone react to that at all. So he was wiping for a while after he peed.

• 33:14Connor Wood?

  And no one has even, even made any sort of reaction to that. Or is everyone wiping after they pee?

• 33:20Brooke Averick?

  Boys?

• 33:21Connor Wood?

  Okay, thank you.

• 33:22Brooke Averick?

  They're not, but I think it wouldn't hurt to dab.

• 33:26Connor Wood?

  You'd, you don't really need to dab.

• 33:28Brooke Averick?

  I'm just saying, would it hurt? That's what I'm asking.

• 33:31Connor Wood?

  No, it certainly wouldn't hurt.

• 33:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:32Connor Wood?

  Except maybe the environment, because everyone would be dabbing. The paper. I don't know.

• 33:38Brooke Averick?

  True.

• 33:38Connor Wood?

  I'm just thinking of something. But,

• 33:43Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna get into it, but like, if you're a guy, you know that there is,

• 33:48Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna keep going. I, no, I'm done.

• 33:51Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 33:51Connor Wood?

  It's just like, it gets gross. See, sometimes, well, if you, if sometimes, um,

• 34:02Connor Wood?

  if, um, after you pee, if you're like wearing a bathing suit or something, you're not wearing underwear and like you finish feeding, you put your pants back on, there's like pee in your, like you see pee in your pants, kind of.

• 34:11Brooke Averick?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 34:11Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 34:12Brooke Averick?

  So just wipe.

• 34:13Connor Wood?

  But it's not like wipeable. It's like, it's like, it's like in your body still.

• 34:18Brooke Averick?

  Wait, no, I don't get it.

• 34:19Connor Wood?

  I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. I, we need to like potentially cut, I'm gonna leave it in because I feel comfortable.

• 34:23Brooke Averick?

  Why would we need to cut that?

• 34:24Connor Wood?

  We just have so many listeners, including people I look up to and admire. And it's just like, I, I just said I pee my pants on like a daily basis and like, no one really responds.

• 34:32Brooke Averick?

  You said you peed your pants.

• 34:33Connor Wood?

  I don't pee my-

• 34:34Brooke Averick?

  You said sometimes pee will be in your pants.

• 34:37Connor Wood?

  Like me being worried about saying I peed my pants, I'm in a full-blown cat costume.

• 34:41Brooke Averick?

  Careful.

• 34:42Connor Wood?

  Hey, I'm trying, like, this is a place of respect and like, I'm trying to...

• 34:47Connor Wood?

  It's crazy that at this point in my life, like, if, if the worst happens-

• 34:50Brooke Averick?

  Kind of like how a dead person will poop out-

• 34:52Connor Wood?

  No. No, stop. No, in terms of-

• 34:55Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay, see, I see what you're saying, like how a dead person poops.

• 34:59Connor Wood?

  It's crazy, like, at this point in my life, like, I won't be able to get a job. Like, ever again.

• 35:05Brooke Averick?

  I don't think that's true.

• 35:05Connor Wood?

  Look at me right now.

• 35:06Brooke Averick?

  I see you, and I like it.

• 35:08Connor Wood?

  It's a Wednesday.

• 35:09Brooke Averick?

  I think people will see this as an asset now, in the, in the new world.

• 35:13Connor Wood?

  In the new world.

• 35:16Speaker 00

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• 35:45Speaker 01

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• 36:15Connor Wood?

  Okay, so the next one is, after learning that your taste buds change every seven years, I am deeply terrified-

• 36:19Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 36:20Connor Wood?

  Learning moment. I am deeply terrified that a... All, a lil of my taste... All of my taste buds will fall off at once and fill my mouth with little taste buds and they will choke me to death. I dream about it.

• 36:35Brooke Averick?

  Have we confirmed that the little white things on our tongue are taste buds?

• 36:38Connor Wood?

  I haven't confirmed that yet, no. Have we?

• 36:41Brooke Averick?

  Or the little dots?

• 36:42Connor Wood?

  I thought they were like goosebumps.

• 36:45Connor Wood?

  They remind me of diffendots. Oh, they, ooh, I don't like that. I said-

• 36:48Brooke Averick?

  No, the white things on your tongue are not taste buds themselves, but rather a buildup-

• 36:52Connor Wood?

  Ew.

• 36:52Brooke Averick?

  Ew.

• 36:55Brooke Averick?

  They contain taste buds.

• 36:58Connor Wood?

  You contain multiple-

• 36:59Brooke Averick?

  I'm not talking about the white coating.

• 37:01Connor Wood?

  Ew. Okay, this is like the nastiest episode for different reasons than usual. I kind of miss poop.

• 37:08Brooke Averick?

  Can we-

• 37:09Connor Wood?

  Oh, this is sick.

• 37:12Brooke Averick?

  So, can you see taste buds? Or are they like molecule vibes?

• 37:21Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 37:23Connor Wood?

  Well, they're tiny ass.

• 37:24Brooke Averick?

  But you can see the visible bumps on your tongue called papie-

• 37:26Connor Wood?

  Papale.

• 37:27Brooke Averick?

  Papier, which contain the taste buds. The papier?

• 37:32Brooke Averick?

  Tiny projections on your tongue's surface. The bumps you see on your tongue are? Okay. So baby, your taste buds won't fall out, but your papier might.

• 37:41Connor Wood?

  Um, yeah.

• 37:44Brooke Averick?

  Can you pick off, like, could you like bite off papier?

• 37:49Connor Wood?

  I think so, yeah.

• 37:51Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 37:52Connor Wood?

  So like that, those are the papieres, but you would just be able to swallow a papier.

• 37:56Brooke Averick?

  What things for you? Like, how have your taste buds changed? Like, what did you used to not like or like and now has changed?

• 38:04Connor Wood?

  Uh, I used to think mint was spicy. So I couldn't, I couldn't use like, uh, minty toothpaste.

• 38:11Brooke Averick?

  What were you doing, bubble gum?

• 38:12Connor Wood?

  I was doing bubble gum, yeah, which is just-

• 38:15Connor Wood?

  I like, I don't like that version of myself. I don't even like to think that that's the same person that occupied the bodies that I'm in. That I was using bubble gum toothpaste and then hopping into bed.

• 38:25Brooke Averick?

  That is- Can- She's a 10, but she uses bubble gum toothpaste.

• 38:31Connor Wood?

  It's a, that is, that is something you have to sit with.

• 38:36Brooke Averick?

  I would find that endearing.

• 38:40Connor Wood?

  Bubble, but like no budge, no budge at all. Just like, no, I only use bubble gum. Maybe it is endearing.

• 38:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Imagine she was like, it's spicy. I don't like it.

• 38:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's like scary.

• 38:51Brooke Averick?

  That's cute. That's, I love it. I'm gonna put that in my next book.

• 38:58Connor Wood?

  You at, you at the movies just eating bubble gum toothpaste?

• 39:01Brooke Averick?

  No, just like a sweet boy who can only do bubble gum toothpaste in his 30s.

• 39:07Connor Wood?

  That reminds me of like Norman Bates.

• 39:09Brooke Averick?

  No. It's not, no, it's endear, I find it, I'm finding it extremely endearing.

• 39:16Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 39:17Brooke Averick?

  What other toothpaste are there besides mint and bubble gum?

• 39:20Connor Wood?

  Oh, interesting. Oh my gosh, maybe we can discover a toothpaste.

• 39:24Brooke Averick?

  We can make a toothpaste. You're not interested in inventing, or are you just interested in discovering?

• 39:28Connor Wood?

  No, I would invent. I could, I can, I dibble, I dabble. I could, I could wrap my head around inventing.

• 39:32Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Well, I guess cinnamon, but that's also spicy. That's in the mint family.

• 39:38Connor Wood?

  Or, uh, Aziz, can we look up just other forms of toothpaste? I bet there's like meat flavored, because my dog does poultry. And I always think about like,

• 39:50Connor Wood?

  what is that like? Because he's, he eats meat, you know? And I eat meat too, but like I can't imagine putting chicken flavored toothpaste into my gullet.

• 39:57Brooke Averick?

  Right. Okay. Bacon? Wait, I think that's just like one of those TikTok things. It's like, which toilet paper do you want? Nails?

• 40:08Connor Wood?

  Cupcake, blood cupcake, blood muffin, glass muffin. Okay, these are all like,

• 40:16Brooke Averick?

  fluoride, but that's mint. Chocolate?

• 40:19Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 40:20Brooke Averick?

  Lemon?

• 40:21Connor Wood?

  This is not real.

• 40:22Brooke Averick?

  Wasabi. I don't think, this is Toms.

• 40:26Connor Wood?

  I think this is a, but like a BuzzFeed question.

• 40:29Brooke Averick?

  No, this is toms.com coffee. Can we look up wasabi toothpaste?

• 40:34Connor Wood?

  Can we just see if that is real?

• 40:36Brooke Averick?

  Talk about spicy.

• 40:40Brooke Averick?

  That was such a like millennial thing to say.

• 40:42Connor Wood?

  What?

• 40:43Brooke Averick?

  Talk about spicy. Like, I feel like Hoda and Jenna would like say that on the, I don't know.

• 40:50Connor Wood?

  Aw, Jenna and Friends.

• 40:51Brooke Averick?

  I love them. Jenna and Friends.

• 40:54Connor Wood?

  Wawa toothpaste.

• 40:57Brooke Averick?

  It's 49 USD.

• 40:59Connor Wood?

  Made for my boyfriend's bad breath sensitive teeth improvement of gum problem made with wasabi.

• 41:05Brooke Averick?

  I want to try it.

• 41:06Connor Wood?

  You should, Brooke. Let the people know. That also felt very millennial. Let the people know. Ugh.

• 41:12Brooke Averick?

  I guess we are cusps.

• 41:14Connor Wood?

  Full, full blown. Oh my god.

• 41:17Brooke Averick?

  Um, I'm trying to think of what I like now.

• 41:19Connor Wood?

  I need a Benadryl really bad.

• 41:21Brooke Averick?

  I have.

• 41:23Connor Wood?

  What?

• 41:23Brooke Averick?

  Benadryl.

• 41:24Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 41:27Brooke Averick?

  Do you want it?

• 41:28Connor Wood?

  No, I'll pass it out. My current phobia is with uncircumcised penises.

• 41:33Brooke Averick?

  Ooh.

• 41:33Connor Wood?

  I have recently been dabbling in romance with a British man and apparently they don't get circumcised there. And the thought of seeing one of those in the flesh triggers a guttural fear and physical revulsion I've never experienced before. Uh, I would, I would raise you that I think most of the planet's uncircumcised.

• 41:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Also, if you're like engaging in sexual activity, you won't really be able to tell. So just, just don't see it. I don't want to say flaccid and soft, but I don't know how else to describe it.

• 42:08Connor Wood?

  You, I think you nailed it. Facts, no foreskin.

• 42:13Brooke Averick?

  On God.

• 42:14Connor Wood?

  Ooh, facts with foreskin.

• 42:18Brooke Averick?

  I don't like that word.

• 42:19Connor Wood?

  Foreskin. Let's.

• 42:21Brooke Averick?

  I don't like any of the words that we've just said in the past.

• 42:24Connor Wood?

  Foreskin in seven years ago. All these, all these irrational fears are very like.

• 42:29Brooke Averick?

  That's rational to me.

• 42:30Connor Wood?

  Anatomy focused. I have an irrational fear that I'm actually in some kind of coma and my current reality isn't actually real. Get in line behind me.

• 42:38Brooke Averick?

  In line.

• 42:40Connor Wood?

  I am constantly teetering in between I'm God and.

• 42:46Connor Wood?

  Oh wow, maybe I'm sucking god

• 42:47Brooke Averick?

  I know this is an alternate.

• 42:50Connor Wood?

  No, I also think I'm dead, like completely. In every other, because I think I, you know?

• 42:56Brooke Averick?

  I know I'm still a teacher.

• 42:59Connor Wood?

  You're sleepy.

• 43:00Brooke Averick?

  In another lifetime. Like, I know she's still there.

• 43:05Brooke Averick?

  I think about her a lot.

• 43:06Connor Wood?

  I have chicken box right now. Underneath the mask.

• 43:09Brooke Averick?

  Probably hives.

• 43:11Connor Wood?

  For sure.

• 43:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 43:14Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, no, I think I'm dead and a teacher.

• 43:17Connor Wood?

  You probably are in some kind of coma, uh, get well soon.

• 43:21Brooke Averick?

  I think I'm living my like high, my, I'm like at the top of the pyramid, this existence. This is the best one I'm gonna get, I think.

• 43:29Connor Wood?

  You don't think you'll be like an eagle or a dolphin?

• 43:31Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm not counting that as the best one. I think this is the best human life, like of all my options. Which is, I'm very lucky to be this version of, of myself.

• 43:43Connor Wood?

  That's

• 43:43Brooke Averick?

  Because the other ones are like really tired. And I'm tired too, but I have a lot of time to nap in this life.

• 43:49Connor Wood?

  Facts. That's so good, Brooke.

• 43:53Connor Wood?

  Um, any and every conversation I have is being recorded and sent out to everyone I know.

• 43:58Brooke Averick?

  Hey. The book I just read, I was telling you I read that horror book?

• 44:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 44:02Brooke Averick?

  That's a type of paranoia, which is how I'm getting to this next point. There's this real syndrome where you think that everybody is an imposter.

• 44:12Connor Wood?

  I think he has schizophrenia.

• 44:15Brooke Averick?

  But it has a specific name where you think that, like, that's the specific thing.

• 44:22Brooke Averick?

  That everybody in your life has been replaced by like a deep fake.

• 44:25Connor Wood?

  That's really scary.

• 44:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 44:28Connor Wood?

  Are you a deep fake? Mama?

• 44:30Brooke Averick?

  Well.

• 44:31Connor Wood?

  I'm a deep fake, Jonathan.

• 44:33Brooke Averick?

  You are.

• 44:34Connor Wood?

  I need you to put your fingers in my mouth.

• 44:36Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 44:36Connor Wood?

  Please, please refuse to get this big hair out.

• 44:38Brooke Averick?

  I can't.

• 44:38Connor Wood?

  Please, Brooke, get this big hair out. Can you see it?

• 44:41Brooke Averick?

  Let me turn on my flashlight.

• 44:42Connor Wood?

  No, you can probably see it under the flashlight, just.

• 44:49Brooke Averick?

  Closer?

• 44:52Connor Wood?

  Get it.

• 44:52Brooke Averick?

  I don't see it.

• 44:53Connor Wood?

  Come on. Can you, can you just give my mouth curtain bangs?

• 44:59Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, you got it.

• 45:00Brooke Averick?

  I got it?

• 45:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah, thank you. There's another one.

• 45:02Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 45:03Connor Wood?

  Please just get it. It's because I can't continue to-

• 45:05Brooke Averick?

  I'm doing a full, a general sweep.

• 45:08Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, you got it.

• 45:09Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god!

• 45:10Connor Wood?

  That was, that was a hairball.

• 45:11Brooke Averick?

  That was a hairball.

• 45:13Connor Wood?

  I've been struggling with that.

• 45:14Brooke Averick?

  Friends get each other's hairballs.

• 45:16Connor Wood?

  Okay. So these are, should we move forward, or do you want to talk about being recorded and being sent out to everyone you know?

• 45:22Brooke Averick?

  I guess that's schizophrenia, but I'm really interested in like the specific, like, everyone is an imposter syndrome.

• 45:31Brooke Averick?

  Which is really scary. Can you imagine?

• 45:34Connor Wood?

  I guess I don't have that. Every time I, every time I get in conversations like this, I'm like, oh, I'm actually pretty okay. Not to rub it in, sorry about your coma.

• 45:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:43Connor Wood?

  Um, I used my government job and access to look up Robert Downey Jr.'s address so I could send him a graduation invitation.

• 45:50Brooke Averick?

  This is, we've moved on to unhinged moments.

• 45:52Connor Wood?

  Yes. The organization, the government secret lookup org that we used, did indeed reach out to my boss, and my boss just laughed about it.

• 46:00Brooke Averick?

  I think that's totally fine.

• 46:01Connor Wood?

  I think, um-

• 46:02Brooke Averick?

  I think that's great. I think it's a great thing to do.

• 46:05Connor Wood?

  I think if your boss laughed-

• 46:06Brooke Averick?

  I think I'm not the one to be judging these also, because I think I'd probably do every single one. I did something bad over the weekend that I can't speak about.

• 46:13Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, can you-

• 46:14Brooke Averick?

  But just know that it was un, it was not, it was okay.

• 46:17Connor Wood?

  Can you tell us what your friend did, though?

• 46:19Brooke Averick?

  No, my friend told me I cannot tell anybody. I really can't. It's, it wasn't okay.

• 46:25Connor Wood?

  I know what it is.

• 46:28Brooke Averick?

  But, let me just say, a lot of people do it. That's what I'll say.

• 46:33Brooke Averick?

  Um- It's just something that we girls do, and it is what it is, and it's not ideal, and it's done.

• 46:39Connor Wood?

  Do you want to hear an unhinged one that I just remembered that, um, is, is like a personal, someone that I know in my personal life did this?

• 46:46Brooke Averick?

  I don't know, do I?

• 46:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 46:48Brooke Averick?

  Is it a me?

• 46:49Connor Wood?

  No.

• 46:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay, then yeah.

• 46:51Connor Wood?

  Is it a me?

• 46:52Brooke Averick?

  It's a me.

• 46:53Connor Wood?

  Mario.

• 46:54Brooke Averick?

  Did you know he's saying? He's not saying it's a me.

• 46:59Brooke Averick?

  Something Italian.

• 47:01Connor Wood?

  It's me.

• 47:01Brooke Averick?

  No, he's not saying it's me. Itsumi Mario in Japanese.

• 47:07Connor Wood?

  What does it mean? What's itsumi?

• 47:09Brooke Averick?

  Itsumi Mario in Japanese is a false internal rumor. Sorry.

• 47:13Connor Wood?

  Itsumio wannabe huh?

• 47:15Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 47:15Connor Wood?

  Oh, sumio? I think it's itsumi because it's.

• 47:18Brooke Averick?

  I had the, I thought it was itsumi and then I saw on TikTok itsumi, which I believe, I do believe everything I see there. So that's where, that's what led us here.

• 47:27Connor Wood?

  You're allowed to do that.

• 47:29Brooke Averick?

  Paul, uh, which means, yes, okay, understood. Itsumi means it's super in Japanese, but it actually doesn't. Thank you. It's a deep fake.

• 47:41Connor Wood?

  Oh, okay. Um, well, thanks for sharing that.

• 47:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 47:44Connor Wood?

  I, uh,

• 47:45Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, yeah.

• 47:46Connor Wood?

  At least we debunked the rumor on, on this pod.

• 47:49Brooke Averick?

  At least we started and debunked a rumor within the span of a minute.

• 47:53Connor Wood?

  I wonder if we've started any rumors that people have, probably. Um, I have a friend who,

• 48:03Connor Wood?

  I know someone who, um, got fired from their job. Wrongfully. This isn't about me, by the way, because I know we did the friend.

• 48:13Brooke Averick?

  I was wondering.

• 48:14Connor Wood?

  And they got fired from their job and they posted their boss's number on Craigslist and said, free labradoodle puppies.

• 48:21Brooke Averick?

  That's all, I think that's funny.

• 48:24Connor Wood?

  And their boss commented on it and said, fuck you. No, this is you.

• 48:29Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's funny. So if anyone needs to do that to their boss, that is free, free rein. I do think it's pretty illegal, but Craigslist, I don't know if is entirely traceable.

• 48:37Brooke Averick?

  You know what I did that was I had a lot of guilt about for like 10 years and just remembered and it wasn't good.

• 48:47Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, I don't know if I should say, I was like 10. I really like wanted to see my what class I was in in fifth grade and so I went with through every single teacher in the school and guessed their passwords. I would put in their emails to log in because they had access to the schedules and I just put in their kids' names to guess their passwords and I got on one of my teachers' accounts via their kid's name and I saw my schedule and I could get everybody's schedule and I became like a black market dealer for schedules.

• 49:23Connor Wood?

  All right, Nancy Drew. That's actually incredible.

• 49:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and I felt really bad about it for a really long time, but I literally I logged into this one teacher's account.

• 49:31Connor Wood?

  No, that's Mouse Katoole. Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.

• 49:34Brooke Averick?

  Thanks. And is it her fault for making her password her daughter's name? A little?

• 49:40Connor Wood?

  Hundred percent.

• 49:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:42Connor Wood?

  Well, you're 10, so I don't know what type of files they have on there that would be like, government issued. Oh, my gosh, you guys, right here is the spot. If anyone wants to.

• 49:53Brooke Averick?

  Here's the next one. That's John's spot.

• 49:56Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 49:56Brooke Averick?

  Yes. Side of his neck.

• 49:58Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God. Look up if he has ringworm because I definitely do right now. Okay.

• 50:01Brooke Averick?

  No, he's perfect.

• 50:02Connor Wood?

  I went to Lancaster when I was on a college break.

• 50:04Brooke Averick?

  You know who's from there?

• 50:06Connor Wood?

  Max.

• 50:08Brooke Averick?

  No, Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

• 50:10Connor Wood?

  Oh, Lancaster Animal Shelter. Max is from there.

• 50:12Brooke Averick?

  Jonathan is from Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

• 50:16Connor Wood?

  Do you not give a shit at all that?

• 50:17Brooke Averick?

  With the Amish.

• 50:18Connor Wood?

  That Max and, oh.

• 50:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 50:20Connor Wood?

  I was gonna say Max and Jonathan are from the same name, place.

• 50:23Brooke Averick?

  Jonathan's from the Petco on Beverly.

• 50:27Connor Wood?

  I went to Lancaster when I was on a college break to see this Mennonite, Mennonite, Mennonite.

• 50:32Brooke Averick?

  It's like a very Amish area, Mennonite, yeah.

• 50:34Connor Wood?

  Mennonite guy I was hooking up with and he took me to the Amish farm for a horse and buggy ride and I think the Amish people thought we were getting married and took us on the marriage horse and buggy ride and kept insinuating we were bride and groom, so I might be Amish married and that's fine.

• 50:48Brooke Averick?

  That is totally fine.

• 50:49Connor Wood?

  And that's completely fine because, because guess what?

• 50:55Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 50:56Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 50:56Brooke Averick?

  I have something bad, another thing to admit that I did.

• 50:59Connor Wood?

  Hang on, let's get through this thing.

• 51:02Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 51:03Connor Wood?

  Guess what?

• 51:03Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 51:04Connor Wood?

  Good, make her feel better.

• 51:06Brooke Averick?

  I'm trying, you told me to get through it. I was telling her something that I did similarly.

• 51:11Connor Wood?

  I think like, if you don't know you're married for sure, like, no one else does. And I kind of more care if anyone is thinking poorly of me versus like, what I know about myself, you know?

• 51:22Brooke Averick?

  And what I was trying to say is that if she's married, I'm married.

• 51:27Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 51:28Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:29Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 51:30Brooke Averick?

  There's this episode of Full House, where Uncle Jesse, I don't remember, I think it's some sort of Greek wedding, I don't remember if it was Uncle Jesse or what, but you have to like walk around something in circles, to get married.

• 51:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's Greek Orthodox Catholic.

• 51:45Brooke Averick?

  In first grade, I walked around my crush in circles.

• 51:47Connor Wood?

  Brooke, there's more of a ceremony that needs to be put in place.

• 51:50Brooke Averick?

  But I didn't, I was like, we're married. And I, it was private to me, and only me, he didn't know.

• 51:57Connor Wood?

  I mean, I married someone-

• 51:58Brooke Averick?

  It was an unconsensual marriage.

• 52:00Connor Wood?

  He had to say, he had to agree to it, so-

• 52:03Brooke Averick?

  Right, I'm not actually married.

• 52:04Connor Wood?

  You're planning also, how old are you?

• 52:06Brooke Averick?

  I know that I'm not actually married, like, seven?

• 52:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah, so that would be-

• 52:09Brooke Averick?

  It wasn't old, it wasn't old, but I'm just saying, like, we've all been there.

• 52:14Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it, like-

• 52:20Connor Wood?

  And unless you want to, then you can be like, I'm, wear a wedding ring at times that it would benefit you, and take it off at times that it wouldn't benefit you. Be married whenever you feel like it. Oh my gosh, that's kind of brilliant.

• 52:34Brooke Averick?

  That's the plot of, um, with someone, Adam Sandler.

• 52:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, go with it, just go with it.

• 52:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:42Connor Wood?

  Okay, the most unhinged thing I've done, was after me and my ex broke up, I made a fake Instagram to catfash him, childish, I know, but he cheated on me constantly.

• 52:51Brooke Averick?

  It's not childish, baby, it's your right.

• 52:54Connor Wood?

  And was talking to him for a few days on this account when he asked to hang out. He seemed pretty invested, even sent this account a dick pic.

• 53:01Brooke Averick?

  He was amazing.

• 53:04Connor Wood?

  I told him I lived about an hour and a half away and I sent him a random address. When he told me he was about five minutes away, I just went, sorry, my parents just got home. I won't be able to hang out and blocked him.

• 53:14Brooke Averick?

  I think that's awesome.

• 53:15Connor Wood?

  That's totally fine.

• 53:16Brooke Averick?

  I completely agree.

• 53:17Connor Wood?

  Like kosher.

• 53:17Brooke Averick?

  Not even just kosher, like I if this, I will do this if I am wronged by somebody.

• 53:26Brooke Averick?

  And I look forward to it.

• 53:29Brooke Averick?

  Thank you for the inspo.

• 53:31Connor Wood?

  These are not, I hope that these are not points of guilt for anybody. You're allowed to marry a Mennonite guy on accident.

• 53:38Brooke Averick?

  What they want.

• 53:39Connor Wood?

  I think we've all, yeah, we've all, we've all, yeah, gotten married on accidents on purpose. I married two people during COVID as an ordained minister and I went through all the steps and they exchanged rings and

• 53:52Connor Wood?

  they are married to two other people now and have kids, so I don't know.

• 53:58Brooke Averick?

  I think that they would need to get a marriage certificate.

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  I mean, we had a witness, I looked up everything.

• 54:03Brooke Averick?

  I think you need to get a certificate.

• 54:08Connor Wood?

  Isn't it crazy like a certificate is the, like a piece of paper is the thing that like makes you legally married?

• 54:15Connor Wood?

  Okay, here's a couple more irrational fears.

• 54:17Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 54:18Connor Wood?

  I hate looking in mirrors for a prolonged amount of time due to the fear that my reflection would not like stop smashing.

• 54:23Brooke Averick?

  That just put a chill in my.

• 54:24Connor Wood?

  A chill in my shocking.

• 54:26Brooke Averick?

  I was trying to say, I just got chills, is what I was trying to say.

• 54:31Connor Wood?

  Um, I can't look in mirrors at night because I'll convince myself that there's things that are moving because I watched one scary movie in seventh grade. And that's like my fear every time I'm in a hotel room and it sucks because I have to be about 11 or eight times a night.

• 54:45Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God, I, when I watched The Ring, I watched The Ring with a group of boys in seventh grade. And then one of them kept calling me for like a week after that and saying, seven days.

• 54:57Connor Wood?

  That's pretty, that's really seventh grade vibes.

• 55:00Brooke Averick?

  It really is. And it was, I really didn't like it. But now I'm looking back, did he like like me?

• 55:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah, he's probably hitting it.

• 55:06Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God, that's amazing.

• 55:07Connor Wood?

  Seven days in heaven.

• 55:10Brooke Averick?

  Seven days of pure bliss.

• 55:13Brooke Averick?

  That's a scary movie.

• 55:15Connor Wood?

  The Ring?

• 55:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 55:16Connor Wood?

  I think I've only ever watched two scary movies. One is The Uninvited and one is Strangers.

• 55:21Brooke Averick?

  I don't know either of those.

• 55:24Connor Wood?

  Strangers was the one where like the people show up.

• 55:28Connor Wood?

  And kill the, kill people. Like it's like really, we're not really thinking out of the box. The ones that scare me are the demons ones. Murderers don't really scare me that much.

• 55:38Brooke Averick?

  The Ring is really, really scary.

• 55:41Connor Wood?

  How could you as an actor act in a scary movie? Brooke, walk us through that.

• 55:45Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I mean, it's, you really have to separate like the character from yourself.

• 55:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So you have to do, are the man who played the murderer, really Ben, yeah. He definitely took time getting in the character and exiting character. Like, and you could really watch that happen. It was pretty amazing.

• 56:05Connor Wood?

  That's fast.

• 56:06Brooke Averick?

  A lot of like, he started like before the, uh, no, I'll yell the action. He would start grunting like,

• 56:13Brooke Averick?

  like before.

• 56:14Connor Wood?

  I get that.

• 56:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. It was amazing to watch.

• 56:16Connor Wood?

  I'm always grunting.

• 56:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So it was just separate the art and artist.

• 56:20Connor Wood?

  The Strangers was one of those where like, you're watching them and you're looking in the background and they don't care if you notice or not, but you see, even blurred, like you see the murderers like come in from the back and they're wearing like this, they're wearing like pig masks and stuff.

• 56:35Brooke Averick?

  I've told you about my favorite horror movie that every time I recommend it, people are like, why would you recommend this? And it has like a one on Rotten Tomatoes, but it's, I think it's the best movie in the world.

• 56:43Connor Wood?

  What is it?

• 56:44Brooke Averick?

  The boy.

• 56:45Connor Wood?

  What's the boy about?

• 56:46Brooke Averick?

  It's a doll one where she goes to babysit this doll.

• 56:50Connor Wood?

  Why is a doll being babysat?

• 56:51Brooke Averick?

  Cause the parents are like, you need to wa, you need to watch my son.

• 56:55Connor Wood?

  The doll?

• 56:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's Brahms.

• 56:57Connor Wood?

  Then it needs to explode.

• 56:59Brooke Averick?

  Well, you have to watch and see what happens to Brahms. I freaking love this movie. I think it's so, I, I was just like, whoa.

• 57:08Connor Wood?

  Is the doll moving?

• 57:09Brooke Averick?

  One more time.

• 57:10Connor Wood?

  Is the doll moving?

• 57:11Brooke Averick?

  Yes, the doll is moving.

• 57:12Connor Wood?

  Doll shouldn't move. I'd explode the house.

• 57:16Brooke Averick?

  Oh, look at Brahms at the table.

• 57:21Connor Wood?

  Aww.

• 57:24Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 57:25Brooke Averick?

  I love prom.

• 57:26Connor Wood?

  My favorite scary movie is probably Zombievers. And you can look that up on your own time, or now, we can do it. Let's look up Zombievers.

• 57:35Brooke Averick?

  That reminds me of the Animorphs. Did you ever read those?

• 57:37Connor Wood?

  This is Zombievers. It actually like is exactly what you think. You'll all be damned.

• 57:43Brooke Averick?

  I feel like you might have told us about Zombievers years ago.

• 57:46Connor Wood?

  I haven't known really bit. Um. But like, if you're looking for a fun evening with your friends that is horror vibes and like gory, but like obviously has a budget of about $400. I would maybe watch Zombievers, or if you're feeling fun, and probably not for that girl that's afraid of uncircumcised penises, you could watch Leeches.

• 58:11Brooke Averick?

  You love Leeches.

• 58:12Connor Wood?

  What, can we pull up Leeches the movie? And does anyone have any tweezers they could put into back of my throat? So that's Leeches. It's about a it's about a swim team. And I don't, it's not Attack of the Giant Leeches, it's just Leeches. It's about a swim team.

• 58:28Brooke Averick?

  Don't get it twisted.

• 58:29Connor Wood?

  Don't get it twisted. It's just Leeches. It's about, um, basically the swim team starts taking ster- it's a, it's a great, uh, it's a great plot. Basically, the swim team starts taking ster-

• 58:41Brooke Averick?

  Is there a swim team?

• 58:42Connor Wood?

  It's a swim team, basically, and essentially, ultimately, at the end of the day, and to be honest, it's a swim team. But they start taking steroids. And what happens is

• 58:53Connor Wood?

  they go swimming, basically, same kind of shit that a swim team would do, they're swimming. And they're, they're in the water, but then someone's backpack or someone, or someone's all high and mighty on the swim team and they're like, you know what? No, I'm drawn in into this. We're not cheating anymore. We're dumping. We're dumping the steroids. So they dump the steroids into the ocean, or the lake, pond, or something. Some body of water that's like not, it's not entirely an ocean, could have. And there's, uh, leeches in the thing, and they eat the steroids and they get big. And they're coming up the pipes.

• 59:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 59:26Connor Wood?

  And they're eating them.

• 59:27Brooke Averick?

  Of the toilet, I bet.

• 59:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah. With a knife.

• 59:29Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:30Connor Wood?

  The leech with a knife in the toilet.

• 59:34Brooke Averick?

  Did you ever see teeth?

• 59:37Connor Wood?

  Was this about? You know, I've had leeches on me before.

• 59:40Brooke Averick?

  Mm-mm.

• 59:41Connor Wood?

  It's the scariest moment of my life. Me and my mom were sitting, standing in a river for like an hour and we came out and I go, oh my god. Oh, you're leech, you're leached, you've leached on your feet.

• 59:52Brooke Averick?

  Where did you get the leech?

• 59:53Connor Wood?

  In the river. We were just like.

• 59:54Brooke Averick?

  Where are they? What, what state?

• 59:56Connor Wood?

  Michigan.

• 59:57Brooke Averick?

  I didn't even know leeches were real, honestly.

• 1:00:00Connor Wood?

  People use leeches in, in medicine, because it would like get your blood flowing or something?

• 1:00:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, no, it would like leach out the bad blood, the sick blood.

• 1:00:08Connor Wood?

  What were people thinking? Brooke, you and I, like, we have never claimed to be doctors. We wouldn't even put a leech on your face.

• 1:00:14Brooke Averick?

  I don't think so. I'd like to think I wouldn't.

• 1:00:16Connor Wood?

  There's not even a part of me that'd be like.

• 1:00:18Brooke Averick?

  It was like bloodletting.

• 1:00:20Connor Wood?

  Oof.

• 1:00:22Brooke Averick?

  Did you have to read Fever 1974 or whatever?

• 1:00:25Connor Wood?

  No.

• 1:00:25Brooke Averick?

  For school, about the yellow fever?

• 1:00:27Connor Wood?

  No.

• 1:00:28Brooke Averick?

  That would suck to have yellow fever.

• 1:00:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I agree. I'm afraid of the moon, man. The man on the moon. Like the face that creators create on the surface of the moon. That is very far away. Not to mention, he's not real, but I'm still terrified. Do not know what you mean.

• 1:00:45Brooke Averick?

  I think, I thought that was God when I was little. The man on the moon.

• 1:00:51Connor Wood?

  God?

• 1:00:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I thought he was God.

• 1:00:53Connor Wood?

  You thought God was the moon?

• 1:00:55Brooke Averick?

  Oh, well, the face in it. I thought it was God. You've never seen the man on the moon?

• 1:00:59Connor Wood?

  No.

• 1:01:00Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God. Connor, that's like a huge, like, childhood experience to see the man on the moon for the first time.

• 1:01:09Connor Wood?

  I'm just, oh, my gosh, it's scary.

• 1:01:11Brooke Averick?

  No, no, no, not this. Oh, yeah, sorry, Izzy. I'm not talking about Jim Carrey. I'm talking about In It.

• 1:01:20Connor Wood?

  Oh, I don't like that at all. That looks like, um.

• 1:01:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that.

• 1:01:24Connor Wood?

  That looks like Hannibal Lecter.

• 1:01:25Brooke Averick?

  I've never seen that man.

• 1:01:27Connor Wood?

  I don't like that man.

• 1:01:27Brooke Averick?

  I saw like more friendly man.

• 1:01:29Connor Wood?

  That man looks scary, Brooke. No wonder this girl's afraid of him. Yeah. I like the one on the left right there.

• 1:01:36Brooke Averick?

  He's usually much.

• 1:01:37Connor Wood?

  That's my man.

• 1:01:38Brooke Averick?

  I don't see him.

• 1:01:39Connor Wood?

  He's kind of like, he looks like that ugly fish.

• 1:01:43Connor Wood?

  I don't like the other man. I like the middle man right there. Yeah. That's my man.

• 1:01:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah, I see him. Because they drew it out specifically, but.

• 1:01:55Connor Wood?

  It could be.

• 1:01:55Brooke Averick?

  I, the man in the moon, and I, maybe I'm thinking, just thinking of Goodnight Moon. Best book ever.

• 1:02:01Connor Wood?

  That is, I want to jump into that book and live in there.

• 1:02:04Brooke Averick?

  I've been thinking about getting a little tiny cow tattoo to go over my moon. But I don't want any, I want all my tattoos removed also. So it's one or the other.

• 1:02:13Connor Wood?

  Maybe you get a picture of it and you could frame it. And you could wear it as a necklace.

• 1:02:18Brooke Averick?

  Cool, yeah. That's a good idea.

• 1:02:20Connor Wood?

  Um. I can't believe you looked over the moon, you're like, that's God.

• 1:02:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:25Connor Wood?

  And he only comes out at night.

• 1:02:28Brooke Averick?

  Well, the moon's out during the day, too. You just can't see it.

• 1:02:30Connor Wood?

  I can see it.

• 1:02:31Brooke Averick?

  So I thought he was ju, yeah, exactly, so.

• 1:02:35Brooke Averick?

  Um.

• 1:02:36Connor Wood?

  I am so scared of white bald men, I can't put it into words. I used to have nightmares about any and all of them.

• 1:02:42Brooke Averick?

  I get that.

• 1:02:45Connor Wood?

  Bald is beautiful.

• 1:02:46Brooke Averick?

  It's so interesting how there's like two kinds of bald. Not all men can achieve, like I had this music teacher that was so bald that his head was so shiny. You know? Like a cue ball?

• 1:02:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Brooke Averick?

  But not all bald men can achieve that. Some bald men are just have a scalp.

• 1:03:05Brooke Averick?

  A regular scalp, but not a shiny scalp. Is that?

• 1:03:09Connor Wood?

  I could, I could fully house a bald man's head with the amount of hair in my mouth right now.

• 1:03:14Brooke Averick?

  Like, do you feel like if I shaved your head right now to completion? You would be able to get that shiny look that I'm talking about?

• 1:03:20Connor Wood?

  I know I would be a shiny bald man, yeah.

• 1:03:22Brooke Averick?

  Like, I would not be a shiny bald guy. Or a girl.

• 1:03:28Connor Wood?

  We know you wouldn't be a shiny bald guy.

• 1:03:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I would have, you know, I've spoken about my scalp before. I would have a terrible scalp.

• 1:03:35Connor Wood?

  What's going on with your scalp?

• 1:03:36Brooke Averick?

  I just like, it's no, no good.

• 1:03:39Connor Wood?

  No, your scalp's good.

• 1:03:40Brooke Averick?

  No, because every time my hair is parted in a different way, I'm always like, and what is that? I've never seen that before.

• 1:03:49Connor Wood?

  Okay, so some of these irrational fears is just like, I wanna be like, you're okay. You're gonna be, you're gonna be irrevocably fine.

• 1:03:58Brooke Averick?

  You will be so fine.

• 1:03:58Connor Wood?

  I'm scared of onions. I want you to...

• 1:04:02Brooke Averick?

  But you will be so fine.

• 1:04:02Connor Wood?

  I want you to eat an onion today. Oh my god, wait, hang on.

• 1:04:07Brooke Averick?

  I did just get like, the body.

• 1:04:08Connor Wood?

  That's disgusting and I need to, I wanna go home. That's fucking fucked up, gross.

• 1:04:14Brooke Averick?

  I get scared that food can feel me eating it. And I wish they wouldn't make food with faces. Like, I don't like the goldfish, they personify goldfish. Cause it's like, why would you do that if I'm just gonna eat it?

• 1:04:26Connor Wood?

  It's a snack that smiles back.

• 1:04:27Brooke Averick?

  Connect me to it. It's the sack that smiles back, let me bite into you.

• 1:04:32Connor Wood?

  Until you bite its head off.

• 1:04:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's not right.

• 1:04:34Connor Wood?

  The sack that smiles back. Brooke, you are out of this world.

• 1:04:37Brooke Averick?

  Did I say sack?

• 1:04:38Connor Wood?

  You did.

• 1:04:38Brooke Averick?

  I don't think, something's not right.

• 1:04:40Connor Wood?

  This girl is out of her gourd right now.

• 1:04:43Brooke Averick?

  Something's not right today.

• 1:04:43Connor Wood?

  The sack that smiles back.

• 1:04:47Connor Wood?

  Oh, I have the most insane thing I wanna tell you, but it's just time and place. Oh my gosh.

• 1:04:52Brooke Averick?

  Just say it.

• 1:04:52Connor Wood?

  No, I can't. I'll tell you in bonus.

• 1:04:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:04:57Brooke Averick?

  We can go there now if you want.

• 1:04:58Connor Wood?

  I think we can maybe go there now. I'm gonna just double check on if I need an EpiPen.

• 1:05:02Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:05:04Connor Wood?

  But I do, I feel, I feel fine.

• 1:05:07Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:05:07Connor Wood?

  I wanna make some TikToks with you.

• 1:05:09Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:05:11Connor Wood?

  And that's a dream of mine. It's always been to make a TikTok with you. I'm really bummed about the surprise.

• 1:05:18Brooke Averick?

  I'm sorry, I was like, should I just pretend to be surprised? And I couldn't.

• 1:05:23Connor Wood?

  Well, you were talking about non-stop, when, before we started. I know he's here, I know he's here, I know he's... And I even put that fake head under the table, thinking you'd think I was under there.

• 1:05:31Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I didn't see that. I, it was just like, for whatever reason, like, I couldn't fake being surprised. You okay? You got poked with your whisker?

• 1:05:43Brooke Averick?

  Hair in your eye? Clawed in your eye?

• 1:05:46Connor Wood?

  Something.

• 1:05:50Brooke Averick?

  Okay, we'll see you in bonus.

• 1:05:52Connor Wood?

  Alright, ma, ma, guys. Peace out.

• 1:06:04Speaker 00

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