How Come?

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor ask some pressing questions: why can’t we microwave metal, what did prehistoric land dolphins look like, and where do the contacts go? Plus, a look into Connor’s dreams. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Try out America’s #1 Meal Kit today and get up to 10 free HelloFresh meals at https://hellofresh.com/bandc10fm. Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at https://nutrafol.com and use code BANDC. New Year, More You! Date now on Bumble and download the app today. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 Uber for Loser 01:10 Intro 01:30 Belly Button Crumbs 04:17 Creating Clarity 07:50 Contacts are Evil 10:31 Hello Fresh 12:17 How Come??? 14:10 Adventures in NYC 18:30 Apartment Hunting 23:17 Nutrafol 24:51 Confronted by the Bachelor 28:10 Brooke’s Secret Plans 31:37 GERD 34:48 Bumble 36:45 Toxic Girl Scout Cookies 39:48 Microwaving forks 41:53 Prehistoric Dolphins 46:04 Fighting with Anthropology 52:58 TikTok Trend Injuries 55:00 Times Square Canes DJ 57:31 Cortisol Levels 1:00:23 Getting an Assistant 1:02:25 Mel Robbins 1:06:25 Lesbian Men 1:09:36 Get us to 100k 1:10:58 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:29Speaker 01

  For decades, a shadowy organization called the Illuminati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon-forward sodas, even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7-Up is fighting back with their new Lime Lemon Soda. Join the 7-Uprising. Flip the sip.

• 0:59Connor Wood?

  Okay. First of all, I just want to start with the fact that I Ubered here today and my Uber's name was Loser.

• 1:07Brooke Averick?

  I once had an Uber driver named Surrender.

• 1:12Connor Wood?

  Well, Loser pulled up to my front door, 7, and I was like...

• 1:16Connor Wood?

  And I was like, "Hey, for Connor", and he's like, "Yeah." And he's like, "Uh, Loser." And I was like, "No." Like, "Don't, dude, don't be so hard on yourself." It's like 8:30 a.m.

• 1:27Brooke Averick?

  Are you sure it was pronounced "loser"?

• 1:29Connor Wood?

  Luchazar.

• 1:31Connor Wood?

  He just said it really fast. And also, I didn't even read... I just saw "loser", which like, maybe that says something about me, but I was just like, "No, you're not that..." Like, fully his name that he was given at birth. That'd be like, I pull up, "Hey, Connor, you're not..." "No, don't call yourself Connor."

• 1:49Brooke Averick?

  I've never heard the name Luchazar either, so that's cool.

• 1:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it was kind of lit. Me and Lucho had a great time coming here. I dropped my coffee all over his car.

• 1:58Brooke Averick?

  Hmm.

• 2:00Connor Wood?

  Mercedes-Benz.

• 2:01Brooke Averick?

  It'll smell nice, so...

• 2:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah. That's a scents, and it would just smell like coffee. It's not like it's...

• 2:07Brooke Averick?

  Puke.

• 2:08Connor Wood?

  Puke.

• 2:29Brooke Averick?

  I am in like such a once in a lifetime headspace. Like once in a lifetime. Opportunity for us right now that like this could either be like my best performance or my worst. And like it's exciting to see what where it'll go.

• 2:46Connor Wood?

  Oh, I have no idea either. I really have no idea. I think it's. There must be something in the air or maybe in the water. Maybe it's heavy metals.

• 2:52Brooke Averick?

  I know that January being January is like the oldest topic in the book.

• 2:57Connor Wood?

  She is making us feel every one of her days.

• 3:00Brooke Averick?

  But it's unacceptable and like the fact, I think it's the fact that like. You can't even look forward to it ending because then just February is coming. Which is arguably worse.

• 3:12Connor Wood?

  I had a thought yesterday and it's so funny you're saying that because I agree it's so played out. I was gonna post this on TikTok, but I'm like, everybody's saying this, but it. I was like, I gotta start planning my birthday. It's coming up. My birthday is nine months away, but I just don't remember a time when it was in January of 2025. Like I was like, when did this start?

• 3:30Brooke Averick?

  It is. Like I'm getting to the point in. And by the way, like when I say I'm depressed, like it's fine. Like people like I feel sad and people are like, it's okay. Yeah, it is okay.

• 3:42Connor Wood?

  This is Luchador, not losing.

• 3:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, this is okay. But like I'm getting to the point in my depression where it's like, I'm getting impaled, stabbed by the crumbs in my bed. Cause I'm eating so much in my bed and like I can't even, I don't even have the strength to wipe away the crumbs.

• 3:59Brooke Averick?

  I'm getting stabbed with every turn and all I can do is go ow, ow.

• 4:06Connor Wood?

  If you're stabbed in your bed and there's no one around to hear you say ow.

• 4:11Brooke Averick?

  Were you even sad?

• 4:11Connor Wood?

  Does the tree even fall?

• 4:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:14Connor Wood?

  You'll, you're the, you're the real life princess in the pea, but it's princess in like a Dorito. It's a Jewess in a Dorito.

• 4:21Brooke Averick?

  A Jewess in a Dorito.

• 4:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 4:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's just how I'm feeling.

• 4:26Connor Wood?

  I once had a crumb recently in my belly button and I did the same, I turned over and it got my ass so hard and my belly button's randomly so deep. I like literally had to look at it and be like, hello, hello, hello. Where are you?

• 4:41Brooke Averick?

  Children's book alert.

• 4:43Connor Wood?

  Where are you, crumb?

• 4:45Brooke Averick?

  The Dorito crumb in the young man's belly button.

• 4:48Connor Wood?

  Deep ass belly button.

• 4:51Brooke Averick?

  Pretty.

• 4:54Connor Wood?

  I got it out, but obviously it took a little bit of elbow grease.

• 4:56Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 4:56Connor Wood?

  Could never be you.

• 4:58Brooke Averick?

  No, couldn't.

• 4:59Connor Wood?

  Putting in the work in your BB.

• 5:02Brooke Averick?

  My BB's too tiny.

• 5:04Connor Wood?

  So if something got lodged in there, could you get it out? Can I see your BB or no?

• 5:08Brooke Averick?

  Um, I like maybe not on camera.

• 5:10Connor Wood?

  Could you show it to me like a secret?

• 5:12Brooke Averick?

  I don't really want to lift my top.

• 5:15Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 5:17Brooke Averick?

  Check out my top, though.

• 5:18Connor Wood?

  It's cool. I like it. It looks like a blanket.

• 5:19Brooke Averick?

  Do you see what it is? It's a scene from Sex and the City.

• 5:23Connor Wood?

  Which scene?

• 5:24Brooke Averick?

  When they're at the baseball game.

• 5:26Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh. My fat ass thought that was The Godfather.

• 5:29Brooke Averick?

  No, it's Sex and the City.

• 5:31Connor Wood?

  Oh, it's Sex and the City. They're all wearing glasses, so I thought it was like something mafia related.

• 5:35Brooke Averick?

  No, there's this, it's from this company, I think it's called Knitworth, where they have this like really intricate knit things and I ordered a tote bag with sheep on it because I've been so obsessed with sheep recently because I have this gorgeous portrait of a sheep in my bedroom with this like beautiful gold ornate frame and I've decided to make my whole personality sheep. Okay, so I ordered, I have that sheep painting. I have a sheep blanket that I got that's really cute and then I have this sheep tote bag. But I was looking at the sheep painting the other day. I said, wait a minute, that's a cow.

• 6:19Brooke Averick?

  Which kind of prompted me to look at the blanket. So I said.

• 6:23Connor Wood?

  Cow?

• 6:23Brooke Averick?

  Polar bears.

• 6:26Brooke Averick?

  Which then prompted me to look at the tote.

• 6:30Brooke Averick?

  Rabbits.

• 6:32Connor Wood?

  Maybe you're just like animals.

• 6:35Connor Wood?

  Luchas are, get your head out of your belly button.

• 6:37Brooke Averick?

  So my newest resolution is gonna be to be more observant. Cause I could also walk in your house and be like, I love, I love that painting. Is it new? And it could be the very first thing that you've ever put in your, in your house.

• 6:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no, I get that. That's a good, that's a good rezo. I want more clarity, which I guess is a cousin of the word clear. And I want more intention. Yeah, one or the other, a relative.

• 7:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 7:03Connor Wood?

  Intention, I don't know what I meant by that, but clear, I'd love to, I'd love to have clarity, but I don't know how to create clarity in my life.

• 7:11Brooke Averick?

  What do you mean by clarity?

• 7:13Connor Wood?

  Like, I just like, would like to see things more clearly.

• 7:16Brooke Averick?

  Is that something that you can do?

• 7:19Connor Wood?

  It comes and goes like waves. Like sometimes I just have this like stroke of.

• 7:22Brooke Averick?

  I mean, how can you like intentionally do that? Like sit down and be like, okay, it's time to see things clearly.

• 7:28Connor Wood?

  Hey, let me sit down and see things more clearly.

• 7:31Brooke Averick?

  Like what things?

• 7:33Connor Wood?

  Stuff.

• 7:36Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 7:37Connor Wood?

  Does that make sense?

• 7:39Brooke Averick?

  Starting to.

• 7:39Connor Wood?

  I think honestly.

• 7:40Brooke Averick?

  I'm starting to think about it making sense.

• 7:44Connor Wood?

  I have concepts of it making sense. I think that if I drink more water and exercise more and get better sleep, like things will become more clear. So I think that maybe.

• 7:52Brooke Averick?

  Just less brain fog, are you saying?

• 7:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 7:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 7:54Connor Wood?

  Perfect. Thank you. I knew we'd get there, but I wasn't seeing clearly at that time.

• 7:57Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah, no worries.

• 7:59Connor Wood?

  Now I'm seeing a little bit more clearly, by the way. Great Hannah Montana song. It's called Clear.

• 8:05Brooke Averick?

  I don't know it.

• 8:06Connor Wood?

  You have not known it? Every time I've brought it up on the podcast?

• 8:09Brooke Averick?

  I think you're right.

• 8:09Connor Wood?

  And I've shown it to you? Every time I've talked about it?

• 8:11Brooke Averick?

  I think you're right.

• 8:12Connor Wood?

  And it's, it was on, so me and my sister shared an iPod shuffle.

• 8:16Brooke Averick?

  I do know that.

• 8:17Connor Wood?

  And so obviously it was just, and it was a shuffle, so you couldn't like, I think that you couldn't, you could only skip so many songs, or there was only 25 songs on it. I know every word to this song, Clear by Hannah Montana.

• 8:27Brooke Averick?

  That's awesome.

• 8:27Connor Wood?

  It might be my, my, my, my, my, my Lisa Iris. My, my, my, my, my Lisa Iris. But.

• 8:34Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 8:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah. So that's my goal. But Clear and Kind I like too. But I think that you got me all fucked up because I wasn't talking about like being clear with other people. I was talking completely about myself.

• 8:44Brooke Averick?

  I didn't see, I didn't, that wasn't clear to me.

• 8:46Connor Wood?

  No.

• 8:46Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 8:47Connor Wood?

  Now you're seeing more clearly.

• 8:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I got my contacts stuck in my eyes last night, speaking of seeing more clearly.

• 8:54Brooke Averick?

  I wouldn't, I really wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

• 8:57Connor Wood?

  I would.

• 8:58Brooke Averick?

  Connor, I was gonna say, every single time that I say I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, take a step back, of course I would.

• 9:06Connor Wood?

  Of course you would.

• 9:07Brooke Averick?

  I would, like, go out of my way to wish it on my worst enemy. Every single time I've ever said that. There's nothing I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

• 9:13Connor Wood?

  I pray my enemy gets their contacts.

• 9:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 9:15Connor Wood?

  Contacts stuck in. Contacts up.

• 9:18Brooke Averick?

  But that really was the worst hour of my life. There was nothing I could do to get them out. And it's like such a panic attack moment.

• 9:25Connor Wood?

  Children's book, where do the contacts go when they get lost? I'm seriously.

• 9:29Brooke Averick?

  No, they were, I saw them, they were in my eyes.

• 9:31Connor Wood?

  Where?

• 9:31Brooke Averick?

  It's not like they were lost.

• 9:32Connor Wood?

  Just get them out, get out.

• 9:33Brooke Averick?

  Connor, my fingers were slipping. They couldn't grasp, so what I had to end up doing was sticking my t-shirt in my eye, because my fingers wouldn't grasp one of the contacts. But my t-shirt.

• 9:45Connor Wood?

  You didn't have anything other than a t-shirt?

• 9:46Brooke Averick?

  I couldn't.

• 9:47Connor Wood?

  Like a Q-tip?

• 9:48Brooke Averick?

  Panic mode, I would rather the t-shirt. Q-tip, like, the stuff could come off, you know?

• 9:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 9:54Brooke Averick?

  The cotton. But I had to stick my t-shirt.

• 9:58Connor Wood?

  What is your t-shirt, do you think, do you think that is made out of?

• 10:00Brooke Averick?

  Q-tips like.

• 10:01Connor Wood?

  Cotton, maybe?

• 10:01Brooke Averick?

  No, you know what I'm saying, Q-tips have residue of, like, that will come off.

• 10:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 10:06Brooke Averick?

  Like fuzz.

• 10:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah?

• 10:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Connor Wood?

  I just feel like that's more sterile.

• 10:12Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure it is.

• 10:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Brooke Averick?

  I literally, like, I, it was like, I didn't have time to think of what's more sterile. Connor, you don't understand, when these contacts are stuck in your eyes, it's like, literally like a saw is coming at you, like, slowly, and you have seconds. Like, it's so panic attack inducing.

• 10:30Connor Wood?

  Does it hurt, or does it?

• 10:31Brooke Averick?

  My eyes hurt so bad, they're still slits right now. I have so much lumify in my eyes because my eyes were so bloodshot.

• 10:37Connor Wood?

  Lumify is bad for you.

• 10:39Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well.

• 10:40Connor Wood?

  Sorry, I just found that out this weekend too.

• 10:43Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure getting contacts stuck in your eyes and then having to shove your t-shirt in them isn't good for you either. But here we are.

• 10:49Connor Wood?

  You're not supposed to put a t-shirt in your eye, Brooke.

• 10:51Brooke Averick?

  But here we are.

• 10:52Connor Wood?

  Just letting you know.

• 10:52Brooke Averick?

  Here we are.

• 10:54Connor Wood?

  I can't believe we live in a world where you have to put something into your eye to see.

• 10:58Brooke Averick?

  And I was so excited to have my contacts today, because I got a higher prescription, so I'd be able to see the screen without glasses.

• 11:07Connor Wood?

  Well, you, we make a planet.

• 11:09Brooke Averick?

  And now I'll never put them in my eyes again. Thank God I got it to your supply.

• 11:13Connor Wood?

  You could eat them.

• 11:17Connor Wood?

  If you can do a dumb spot, I don't know.

• 11:22Brooke Averick?

  So stupid.

• 11:28Connor Wood?

  Oh, we got a great episode for you today.

• 11:31Brooke Averick?

  How was New York? Did you find an apartment?

• 11:33Connor Wood?

  Fuck no, Brooke. Oh, God, no.

• 11:36Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 11:36Connor Wood?

  I did not find an apartment in New York out of the 18 that I toured over the weekend. No.

• 11:41Brooke Averick?

  How come?

• 11:42Connor Wood?

  How come? Think about that for one second, that phrase. How come? What? Break those words down. How come?

• 11:55Brooke Averick?

  How you come, purse?

• 11:56Connor Wood?

  How you come, purse and papa?

• 12:01Connor Wood?

  How come? Brooke, it literally is caveman talk. How come? Are you just born? What are you talking about? How?

• 12:10Brooke Averick?

  I feel like I took an edible or something.

• 12:12Connor Wood?

  Literally, that's what you, what you, what you mean is why?

• 12:15Brooke Averick?

  How come you?

• 12:16Connor Wood?

  How come?

• 12:18Brooke Averick?

  I completely agree.

• 12:20Connor Wood?

  Brooke, look at the first thing in my note. Look at the first thing in our shared note.

• 12:23Brooke Averick?

  I agree. Connor, give me a second.

• 12:26Connor Wood?

  And read it out loud. And read it out loud.

• 12:28Brooke Averick?

  Okay, okay.

• 12:29Connor Wood?

  You're gonna shit your pants.

• 12:30Brooke Averick?

  Okay, okay.

• 12:33Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Metal?

• 12:35Connor Wood?

  No, first thing.

• 12:42Brooke Averick?

  How come? Holy shit.

• 12:44Connor Wood?

  Because I thought about it because I was like, how come? I'm like, am I from like, like a cave? It was so weird. I was like, how come? And then I was like, I can't say that in any professional setting.

• 12:55Brooke Averick?

  Like, how did this come to be? Shortened.

• 12:57Connor Wood?

  How did this come to be?

• 12:59Brooke Averick?

  So in other words, why?

• 13:01Connor Wood?

  Why? We have a word that's so much shorter and we choose to say, how come?

• 13:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 13:06Connor Wood?

  It's so funny. Okay, I'm so glad that came up.

• 13:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 13:09Connor Wood?

  How come?

• 13:10Brooke Averick?

  What'd you mean by metal when you wrote that?

• 13:12Connor Wood?

  Is that all I wrote? Oh. How come, do you think? Well, I'll get there. I know what I meant by that. But here's how come. Because, so I go to New York and I meet with my realtor and it's our first day. And I had landed the night before, kind of late. And I woke up the next day and had to go straight to film a video with Delaney Rowe. And we can talk, we can go on tangies if you want to.

• 13:49Brooke Averick?

  That her Gucci ad, even it was like giving me almost goosebumps even.

• 13:54Connor Wood?

  It was so good. I like, she's so brilliant. And every single, like the storyline thing was so crazy. And it's funny because like we're shooting a video, the same way you and I would. We have the same job, you know, right? Like we have the same job as Delaney. But like, she was like, okay, I want to kind of, I want to kind of like,

• 14:12Brooke Averick?

  Maybe she should be a director.

• 14:13Connor Wood?

  I want to kind of punch in here on this shot. And I was like,

• 14:17Connor Wood?

  You want me to punch in? Oh, you want me to punch in right now? It was like crazy, the direction. And I'm like,

• 14:27Connor Wood?

  Hey y'all, there's a crumb in my belly button. And then that's my whole video. And hers is like, we shot this whole thing. Yeah, it was really good. So woke up, did that.

• 14:35Brooke Averick?

  Was that the video you were filming?

• 14:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, the Gucci one. Woke up, did that. Went home, changed, had a Pilates class. The Pilates class was Celsius.

• 14:43Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh. Busy boy.

• 14:45Connor Wood?

  I can, will never do that again. I didn't realize what Pilates was.

• 14:49Brooke Averick?

  Really hard.

• 14:50Connor Wood?

  It's on a machine.

• 14:51Brooke Averick?

  Pilates is a workout class for people who are already in like the best shape of their lives. It doesn't do anything for people who aren't, in my opinion.

• 14:58Connor Wood?

  It does, it does do things. It, you know what it did to me?

• 15:01Brooke Averick?

  But you can't, I'm saying you like can't see the results. Like if you're not in good shape, like it tones you and it like firms you up. Like I wouldn't be able to see that on my body.

• 15:11Connor Wood?

  So I want to, I want to, so I obviously couldn't do it. And when I heard it's a 50 minute class, I go, I can do 15 minutes. 50, five zero. So I'm sitting there and like obviously giving up halfway through every workout. And they're on a mic, Connor, you're supposed to be in plank. I was like, I was in plank. Before this, before I laid down. But the machine that you're on, I'm sure everyone can picture the reformer. This is what it's called, the reformer. It's a sex, it looks like I would be strapped there and wearing a full leather suit. And I don't know what happens when people are strapped down to the thing and wearing a full leather suit. Whipped or something probably, or like, oil or stabbed. I have no idea what they do in those sex acts, but...

• 15:57Connor Wood?

  No, you're on it and it's not attaching anything. So like when you, you have your foot on like a stagnant piece. A piece that doesn't move. And then, but the whole middle part moves. So like, you have to like, hold it in place. So that it doesn't slip back. If you slip back, like, I'm surprised there's not like, serious, serious Pilates injuries.

• 16:16Brooke Averick?

  The reformer's scary.

• 16:17Connor Wood?

  I was having to-

• 16:18Brooke Averick?

  I like mat Pilates.

• 16:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 16:20Brooke Averick?

  And when I say I like, I mean, I preferred the one class of mat Pilates I took. I'll never go back.

• 16:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Brooke Averick?

  But I liked it better.

• 16:27Connor Wood?

  I liked Barry's when I did it too, and I think there was a little bit of-

• 16:29Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 16:29Connor Wood?

  Yeah. I had fun because I run a lot and there are a lot of its cardio.

• 16:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:33Connor Wood?

  So it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I want to show you really quickly and then I'll, I'll send this picture in, just so everyone can see it. When I, after I show Brooke. I want to show you, first of all, what I looked like in that class. And then I want to show you the other, the other young men that were able to join the class. So, here's what I looked like, doing my best, holding myself-

• 16:53Brooke Averick?

  That's Connor, that's a pretty picture.

• 16:55Connor Wood?

  Thank you. Um, here's right after that picture when I gave up. I want to show you the other, the other young men that were part of the class. But that was every other young man that was able to join the class.

• 17:05Brooke Averick?

  Why didn't you take a photo with them?

• 17:07Connor Wood?

  So I, I really sat that one out intentionally. There's just not a world where I would ever take my shirt off next to them. But-

• 17:14Brooke Averick?

  I would have liked that.

• 17:16Connor Wood?

  I weigh as much as, every other man that came to that class, like, I weigh as much as their, their forearm.

• 17:23Brooke Averick?

  I bet we weigh the same.

• 17:25Connor Wood?

  You and I?

• 17:25Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm. I weigh more than my grandpa. Always have.

• 17:28Connor Wood?

  Well, that's different because you, you lose a lot of weight when you get older.

• 17:33Brooke Averick?

  Even in his youth, I've, I've, he's never reached my weight.

• 17:40Brooke Averick?

  In his lifetime.

• 17:41Connor Wood?

  Um, well, that was the hardest thing ever. And then I left and I went straight from that to go tour.

• 17:48Brooke Averick?

  So you're saying you weren't in the headspace?

• 17:51Connor Wood?

  No, I was ready. I'm just saying that this is what the day brought me.

• 17:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 17:54Connor Wood?

  I go to the first apartment. Go up. It is. Like, almost like I'm in a dream. And the dream I'm having. I've walked up five flights of stairs. And when I open the door. Thinking I'm home. It's just the longest hallway you've ever seen. You can't even see the end of the hallway. And that was the apartment. It was just a long hallway and I go, oh, is this?

• 18:18Connor Wood?

  Like a corridor to like the apartment? And it's like, no, this is the apartment. It was like. You could putt, like a putt putt course, like haunted house putt putt course. And the rooms were just like all off of this hallway. And I was like, no, this is not for me. So we left pretty quickly. Um, we go downstairs. He orders an Uber. The Uber pulls up. It's like an SUV. And. He gets in the side and I go to walk around the car and a city bike goes by me on the other side of the car. And then I hear boom. And then I'm like, hmm, what was that? The bike hit my door. Of the Uber. And flew like the, the driver had like gotten out and opened my door. Biker hit it, flew off. And I look, I go, okay, well, here's, that's the rest of my day. He's laying on the ground. I go, hey, you good? And he goes.

• 19:04Connor Wood?

  Uh, yeah. And I was like. Okay. Uh, let's get, I find his glasses, his two lenses of his glasses.

• 19:12Brooke Averick?

  Breaking my heart.

• 19:14Connor Wood?

  He gets up. He lived down the street. So his dad came right away. He was probably in his mid twenties. Yeah, he's like an adult. Yeah. Like a good looking guy.

• 19:21Brooke Averick?

  You almost got me at the two lenses.

• 19:23Connor Wood?

  Two lenses underneath a car, like getting his lenses out. And then he's like bleeding a little bit, but not like, it's not like, he's not like coughing up blood. It's just like he scraped his face. You know? So I like sent him down and. And he's like, I'm waiting for my dad. And I was like, yeah, you if you're, are you good? And he's like, yeah, I'm good. I'm like. Okay, no, no, no. It's like Uber. Lawsuit money like. Don't tell anyone else that you're good, you know, be like, I don't know, you know? Like really just keep some things close to your chest right now, like.

• 19:54Brooke Averick?

  Did you call the cops or?

• 19:56Connor Wood?

  Called an ambulance. And then the ambulance came and his dad came and his dad was like, yeah, you guys can go. And we were like, okay, peace out. So we go to the next apartment. And. We walk in up to the next apartment. I'm like, this is a cool area. This could be it. And we go up to the door. And someone opens the door and it's like.

• 20:19Connor Wood?

  It is the oldest man that I think is alive right now. Hundred fifty at least. And he weighs, he weighs as much as a penny. Forty pounds. He looks so much like a ghost that I looked at the realtor. I was like, can you see him too?

• 20:35Brooke Averick?

  He was the current resident?

• 20:37Connor Wood?

  I didn't know who he was at first. I was like, are we? And then the landlord was like, or the realtor was like, all right, here we are. And I was like, and he didn't say anything to the dude. The dude just like sat down.

• 20:48Brooke Averick?

  Why are you calling him dude? In his, out of his.

• 20:52Connor Wood?

  The apparition sat down on the couch in the living room and was just like, and it was all carpet. It was pitch black in there. And so I was like, my, the realtor right away was like, I'm sensing that. I was like, I don't need to walk through this place. And he's like, you all set? And I was like, yep. And then we left. And that was the last apartment we toured the first day. And I was just like, hey, so just to help narrow it down, like, I don't want anything that looks, that resembles even anything like what we saw tonight. Like, if that helps, just no hallways, no, like, ghostly hollows. Like, I'm good with both of those not being, so.

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• 22:29Connor Wood?

  I don't know, like, why I didn't believe people so much when they were talking about, like, the New York apartment hunting situation. I am so humbled.

• 22:38Brooke Averick?

  I think you just need to get lucky, which I'm sure you will.

• 22:41Connor Wood?

  Yeah. To date, that has been the case. But I'm putting in the work. So this is not like a get lucky situation. I toured 16 places.

• 22:50Brooke Averick?

  And they were all horrible?

• 22:51Connor Wood?

  In their own way. Like, the last day I toured six. And I was like, okay, this one's pitch black. This one, I just hit my head on the ceiling. It's like I'm eight feet tall. Like, that's not too low of a ceiling.

• 23:06Brooke Averick?

  So when you move to New York in a few weeks, and you don't have an apartment, do you have somewhere to stay?

• 23:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but it's not a long... I will be signing a lease by February 16th.

• 23:17Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 23:18Connor Wood?

  Because I'm not going into this dark night of tour without a home.

• 23:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 23:26Connor Wood?

  So it hit me really hard. And it's actually, and, and, like, in terms of, like, work stuff now, people are like, hey, like, how's this going? I'm like, I really need to be honest with you guys. Like, it's actually taking up so much mental space in my head, worrying that, like, the move without a place to move to, that, like, I have not gotten to that yet. So apologies. So, yeah. Yeah.

• 23:50Brooke Averick?

  Well?

• 23:52Connor Wood?

  Well, I'm gonna make sure, before we move on from New York, that I didn't have any other pieces that I needed to share with you. Oh, I do.

• 23:58Brooke Averick?

  Okay, let me know.

• 24:00Connor Wood?

  Okay. So then we had an event for the Wildfires on Friday. Hosted by Kyle Cook of Summer House. And...

• 24:10Brooke Averick?

  Are you gonna join Summer House? I think that's the question that everyone's... On the tip of their lips?

• 24:15Connor Wood?

  Everybody's lips and all the main fans being, no. That's the answer. We do not, we're good there. I'm not joining Summer House. I'm just friends with everybody. But... So we go to this event, and it was really funny. And the Bachelor started on yesterday. Wait, Monday. The new season. I haven't watched it yet. I wanna do the reviews that I was doing last year for Joey's season. The thing about Joey's season was it was so funny to me, and everyone was so individual, that it was, like, really easy to do recaps, because everyone was, like, such an individual. So much so that, like, I came on this podcast three weeks in a row, and I was like, Maria is insane. Maria's insane. So I get a tap on the shoulder at this event.

• 25:00Connor Wood?

  And it's obviously Maria, gee. She, hey.

• 25:05Connor Wood?

  You keep talking shit about me. Yeah.

• 25:07Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 25:08Connor Wood?

  And I was like, my bad, that was only three or four times, five times max in a public space on a podcast. Did not mean it. She's like, you clearly did. And I was like, well, now you hang out with all of my friends. We share a bunch of mutual friends. So like, I know that you're not insane and I know that The Bachelor can edit people in a way that makes them seem crazy. She goes,

• 25:30Brooke Averick?

  Were you quaking in your boots?

• 25:32Connor Wood?

  No, we were having like a really funny, it was funny.

• 25:33Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 25:34Connor Wood?

  And I was like, I know The Bachelor can like edit things in certain ways to make people. And she goes, No, I'm crazy. So I was like, I was right. But I, she's so cool and so normal. We had like a great night, but I was like, the conus on this, this, this young woman.

• 25:49Brooke Averick?

  Good for her.

• 25:50Connor Wood?

  To come up to me and be like, hey, you called me crazy on your podcast three times. I'm like, I did, frankly.

• 25:55Brooke Averick?

  Good for her. I love that.

• 25:56Connor Wood?

  She, she stood her ground on The Bachelorette or The Bachelor and in person. And I'm like, you have to take your hat off, which is the reason I'm not wearing a hat today. Just kidding, my hair looks good, kind of. But I'm like, wow, that was impressive. And then we follow each other on Instagram and the rest is her story.

• 26:13Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 26:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Brooke Averick?

  Love that.

• 26:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah. It was a really like, that was like such a refreshing experience. Not like, not like seeing someone over there and being like, oh, like I talked about that person on the podcast. And like, they obviously heard it and they obviously share mutual friends. Like, I'm gonna have to go over there and be like, hey, like full blown, nipped it in the bud, conversation done, moving forward.

• 26:36Brooke Averick?

  That's fabulous.

• 26:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it was really great. And she was really fun to hang out with and looking forward to nurturing that relationship.

• 26:43Brooke Averick?

  That's great.

• 26:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah. How was your weekend since the last time we chatted?

• 26:47Brooke Averick?

  Um, I don't really think that I did anything, Connor.

• 26:53Brooke Averick?

  Just, just because of the, I'm just like waiting for January to pass.

• 26:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:58Brooke Averick?

  Me by. Um, I've decided to be engaged by Valentine's Day, so that's exciting. Something to look forward to.

• 27:04Connor Wood?

  18 days or 18, depending on how you look at it.

• 27:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, 18 days. So exciting. Um.

• 27:11Brooke Averick?

  I'm doing something on, oh, I'm getting a stomach ache talking about it. Just talking about it. And maybe from the quesadilla I had this morning, too.

• 27:20Brooke Averick?

  I'm doing something on Friday, this Friday.

• 27:24Brooke Averick?

  A work opportunity.

• 27:27Brooke Averick?

  I was, I can't say anything yet, but you'll see it because I have to post it eventually. I was reached out to and they said, do you want to do this? And I said, I can't. Thank you so much, though.

• 27:39Connor Wood?

  Holy moly. Wait, I want to know what it is.

• 27:41Brooke Averick?

  I said, I can't.

• 27:42Connor Wood?

  Can you tell me so that we can have a conversation about it right now? Can you just?

• 27:45Brooke Averick?

  It was on my, uh, close friends yesterday. Did you see it?

• 27:48Connor Wood?

  It's still on?

• 27:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:50Connor Wood?

  Well, let me look.

• 27:51Brooke Averick?

  Almost feeling like you didn't look at my close friends.

• 27:53Connor Wood?

  Maybe it didn't come across my desk.

• 27:55Brooke Averick?

  Probably did.

• 27:56Connor Wood?

  I don't know. There's not a close friends that I would skip. I watched it.

• 28:01Brooke Averick?

  Well.

• 28:01Connor Wood?

  Oh, wait.

• 28:04Connor Wood?

  So I read the second half of what you posted.

• 28:07Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 28:08Connor Wood?

  Because it was just, it was a chat GPT screen and I was thinking you were working on.

• 28:12Brooke Averick?

  Basically asking chat GPT, like, how, how would you handle this situation?

• 28:17Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God.

• 28:17Brooke Averick?

  So basically, an opportunity was presented to me and I said, I don't think I can, like, I don't think I have the capabilities because you guys know, like, there are so many people that can't be in a room with. And this opportunity that I was presented with includes, I would say, a person who would probably be number one on that list, that I don't necessarily speak of as being number one on that list, but it just kind of is implied. Okay? And I was like, is there any way to kind of reshape this opportunity in a less, uh, interactive way? And so they were like, and I'm sorry, I'm talking about this so vaguely, but it will become clear.

• 28:58Brooke Averick?

  And they're basically like, no, and I think you should do it. And I was like, okay, I'm going to because I would obviously really regret not doing something like, not doing something like that.

• 29:11Brooke Averick?

  But what do I do? Do you know what I mean? In, in a situation like, like this one?

• 29:20Connor Wood?

  I think it will, you, it will come to you like how God used to deliver messages to prophets.

• 29:27Brooke Averick?

  Do you really think so?

• 29:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 29:29Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I'm really looking forward to experiencing it and then talking about it next week.

• 29:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Brooke Averick?

  When I can talk about it, but just know that something's happening. I want you to be thinking of me on Friday and just knowing that something's happening that shouldn't be happening.

• 29:45Connor Wood?

  Holding space for you.

• 29:46Brooke Averick?

  Hold space for me? Lord have mercy, I am about to bust, so.

• 29:54Connor Wood?

  You might bust.

• 29:55Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna bust on camera.

• 29:59Connor Wood?

  There's so much money in that right now.

• 30:01Brooke Averick?

  Busting on camera?

• 30:02Connor Wood?

  Hmm.

• 30:05Brooke Averick?

  Awesome.

• 30:05Connor Wood?

  It's the final frontier, so I might say. Manifest destiny. We're going west, the bust.

• 30:12Brooke Averick?

  Um, you know that trend that's like, uh, you're so funny, thanks, but I blank.

• 30:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Brooke Averick?

  What's yours?

• 30:22Connor Wood?

  I don't, like, I had GERD growing up. You're so funny, thanks. I threw up in my mouth every night when I fell asleep and then I grinded my teeth at right after. So now I have cavities and I have eight root canals and I'm I'll be at the dentist for the rest of my life.

• 30:34Brooke Averick?

  Okay, thank, I wanted you to bring that up because I knew that was gonna be yours.

• 30:38Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you're so funny.

• 30:39Brooke Averick?

  No, and I owe you an apology.

• 30:40Connor Wood?

  You're so funny, thanks, I had GERD.

• 30:43Brooke Averick?

  I owe you an apology for minimizing that. I had acid reflux for the first time in my life. Oh my god.

• 30:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Brooke Averick?

  No one's talking about it.

• 30:52Connor Wood?

  No one's talking about GERD and...

• 30:55Brooke Averick?

  What's the difference between GERD and acid reflux and heartburn?

• 30:58Connor Wood?

  Like, you can get, acid reflux can be...

• 31:00Brooke Averick?

  I think I had heartburn.

• 31:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it usually goes hand in hand because it's just the acidic. If you eat something acidic, you get heartburn. But if you're, if it's coming up the other way, you still get heartburn, but you also, you can have acid reflux. It could be a one-off situation, but like GERD is like something like, almost like chronic that you have for like a while.

• 31:16Brooke Averick?

  Did it hurt?

• 31:17Connor Wood?

  I would have heartburn every single day, yeah.

• 31:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, I thought I would, Connor. I was literally anxious from calling 911. I thought I was having a heart attack.

• 31:24Connor Wood?

  Mine luckily happened in my sleep, so I was just like, fuck it, we ball, you know?

• 31:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, because of the nights and stuff.

• 31:30Connor Wood?

  And the nights are hard.

• 31:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 31:32Connor Wood?

  The nights were hardest for me because of GERD.

• 31:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so I owe you an apology.

• 31:36Connor Wood?

  I love this wig on this pot. Like, it literally is like having a third guest on the podcast. I keep looking over and being like, do you agree?

• 31:43Brooke Averick?

  I like him too.

• 31:44Connor Wood?

  I like how he has like nothing to say but, but everything.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Hush, hush.

• 31:50Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah, no, so that was tough. Actually, you reminded me, like, I found a dentist in New York, which is so weird to find a dentist before you move somewhere.

• 31:59Brooke Averick?

  Is that, would you say dentists are like your number one, like, healthcare professional that you need?

• 32:06Connor Wood?

  No, I need a full body scan. I convinced myself-

• 32:10Brooke Averick?

  Is that the place you find yourself at most, though, is what I'm saying?

• 32:12Connor Wood?

  The dentist, yeah.

• 32:13Brooke Averick?

  Like, for me, I need probably like more of like a mental health professional wherever I go.

• 32:17Connor Wood?

  I need that, too.

• 32:19Connor Wood?

  You need it more, but I need it as well.

• 32:21Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:21Connor Wood?

  Too.

• 32:22Brooke Averick?

  No, I would, I would love that.

• 32:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 32:25Brooke Averick?

  For you, and I think you would be a therapist's wet dream.

• 32:27Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 32:28Brooke Averick?

  Because like you are such a good talker, like they don't have to pull anything out of you. Like, there have been so many therapy sessions where I haven't said anything.

• 32:36Connor Wood?

  Oh, like, I should record mine and release it as a bonus episode of this podcast.

• 32:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:41Connor Wood?

  I, I, I just wonder if it's hard in therapy, because I have not been, frankly, like I, so I wonder if it'd be hard for me not to turn everything into a joke. Because I'll be at the, I'll be at the doctor's office and literally shooting this shit with a medical professional, and then like by the end, they're like, fuck it, man, like, yeah, the other day I was, and I was like, wait, hang on, you're not supposed to be coming down to my level, I am just trying to-

• 33:04Brooke Averick?

  Well, the right therapist will call you out on it.

• 33:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah. What wall do you have up where you're gonna make everything a joke?

• 33:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Connor Wood?

  I don't know, man.

• 33:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:17Brooke Averick?

  Do you want to talk about what you meant by metal?

• 33:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah, first of all, I wanted to say that it just came out that, that Girl Scout cookies have like a lot of aluminum and metals in them.

• 33:33Brooke Averick?

  Are you sure, or did you read like a headline?

• 33:36Connor Wood?

  Can we Google this? Because it just came out that,

• 33:41Connor Wood?

  it just came out that Girl Scout cookies have a bunch of toxins in them, including like aluminum in the samosas. And-

• 33:52Connor Wood?

  So like, obviously, Google AI is saying, no, Girl Scout cookies don't have metal in them.

• 33:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:57Connor Wood?

  I can't remember if I dreamed this. Can we check the news tab?

• 34:02Brooke Averick?

  Hmm.

• 34:04Connor Wood?

  Cardi B's multi-pack deodorant is giving Girl Scout vibes.

• 34:06Brooke Averick?

  Is that what you could have seen?

• 34:08Connor Wood?

  Hmm, no. Alright, I made it up.

• 34:12Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 34:12Connor Wood?

  So what? Sue me. I thought that I saw this somewhere, cuz I was like, it's not fair that everything can be not good for you.

• 34:24Brooke Averick?

  Well, I would assume they're not great for you.

• 34:26Connor Wood?

  Well, like,

• 34:27Brooke Averick?

  I also, they probably don't have metal in them.

• 34:29Connor Wood?

  100% of Girl Scout cookies contain concerning levels of heavy toxic metals.

• 34:33Brooke Averick?

  Okay, what is this website?

• 34:34Connor Wood?

  And this is on lilstinker.com. And so this is my-

• 34:38Brooke Averick?

  What were you doing on lilstinker?

• 34:41Connor Wood?

  Lilstinker.com. So, I was kind of messing around. January 11th, 2025, I saw this on lilstinker.com when I was browsing.

• 34:49Brooke Averick?

  Hmm.

• 34:50Connor Wood?

  100% of the cookies contained at least 4 out of 5 heavy and toxic metals: aluminum, arsenic,

• 34:56Brooke Averick?

  Oh, arsenic.

• 34:56Connor Wood?

  cadmium, lead, and mercury. The peanut butter patties were the most contaminated, ranging from the lowest level of mercury to the highest levels of lead and aluminum.

• 35:07Brooke Averick?

  This, this looks like a mommy blog, Connor.

• 35:10Connor Wood?

  I don't care, because I'm taking thin mints to the grave, like aluminum and all, whatever. And who's to say that metal isn't good for you?

• 35:18Brooke Averick?

  Right, your, your body has metals in it.

• 35:21Connor Wood?

  Your body needs more metal.

• 35:22Brooke Averick?

  Heavy metals.

• 35:23Connor Wood?

  Cuz-

• 35:24Brooke Averick?

  I have no room to talk about anything with the amount of raw fish that I consume.

• 35:29Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Brooke Averick?

  You know?

• 35:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I guess you're right. Like, there's no reason I, like,

• 35:36Connor Wood?

  I guess some of those aren't healthy for me. But I didn't think that they'd be, like, cancerous.

• 35:41Brooke Averick?

  I don't think they are. I think that you've found, like, the most random mommy blog out there.

• 35:49Connor Wood?

  Okay, whatever. But speaking of metal, so me adding 2 things about metal on the, in the note page?

• 35:55Brooke Averick?

  I only see 1 thing.

• 35:56Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, the bottom one.

• 35:57Brooke Averick?

  I see metal and-

• 35:58Connor Wood?

  The metals and Girl Scout cookies.

• 36:00Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I see metal and then a separate toxic Girl Scout cookies. Yeah.

• 36:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 36:05Brooke Averick?

  Taking thin mints to the grave.

• 36:05Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah, that was the 1 note I wanted to make. Like, that's okay. Like, I understand. Um-

• 36:13Connor Wood?

  I don't, so I saw this tweet about this girl that was like, we just got a new coworker at our office. And she just microwaved her food with a metal fork in it. And I had to be like, hey, you can't do that. And she was like, sorry, it's my first day.

• 36:30Connor Wood?

  And she's like, this bitch is an idiot, like. But I am on her side because what with all of the scientific advancements, we're putting people, we're talking about putting someone on Mars, but we can't put metal in a microwave. I can't, I can't reheat a breakfast burrito.

• 36:45Brooke Averick?

  I always get confused on if you can put tin foil in the microwave.

• 36:48Connor Wood?

  That is metal, babe. It's aluminum foil.

• 36:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and I put it in the microwave.

• 36:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and it's in my thin mints too.

• 36:53Brooke Averick?

  Because you can put it in the oven. And the air fryer.

• 36:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's different. Those are different beasts.

• 36:59Brooke Averick?

  I don't, it doesn't make, it doesn't, it's not intuitive.

• 37:01Connor Wood?

  Those are actually completely different utilities.

• 37:04Brooke Averick?

  Not intuitive.

• 37:04Connor Wood?

  Wait, not utilities, appliances.

• 37:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's not intuitive to me. So sometimes I do get confused about tin foil.

• 37:10Connor Wood?

  How come? How come you can't put metal in the microwave?

• 37:15Connor Wood?

  How come?

• 37:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 37:17Connor Wood?

  Donald Trump?

• 37:18Brooke Averick?

  Radiation?

• 37:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I guess radiation. Are people still, like, there must be people out there that are like, I don't use microwaves because of the radiation.

• 37:25Brooke Averick?

  Yes, there's so many. So. Uh, I don't think that, what's her name?

• 37:30Connor Wood?

  Like, microwaves aren't.

• 37:31Brooke Averick?

  Nikki something.

• 37:31Connor Wood?

  Microwaves aren't going into your hot pocket and now you're eating a wave, right?

• 37:37Brooke Averick?

  Personally, I don't know.

• 37:40Brooke Averick?

  And that's the end of the sentence.

• 37:42Connor Wood?

  Like, you can't eat an x-ray?

• 37:44Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure it's not, like, great for you, but a lot of things aren't.

• 37:49Connor Wood?

  Almost nothing is.

• 37:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I'm sure it's no different than, like, sleeping next to your phone.

• 37:54Connor Wood?

  I stopped doing that.

• 37:56Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I didn't.

• 37:59Connor Wood?

  I stopped because when my phone vibrates on my mattress and it goes throughout the whole mattress.

• 38:03Brooke Averick?

  It is frustrating.

• 38:03Connor Wood?

  That is, that makes me want to punch a hole in my drywall.

• 38:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 38:08Connor Wood?

  And it goes, and it's, like, wakes me up out of the deepest sleep.

• 38:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 38:12Connor Wood?

  Okay, I have, like, a string of events that happened to me.

• 38:15Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 38:16Connor Wood?

  So last night I had a dream. I'm looking at the lake that I live on, which is toxic.

• 38:22Brooke Averick?

  There you go.

• 38:23Connor Wood?

  What?

• 38:24Brooke Averick?

  Another dream about a body of water.

• 38:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah, the, the, the, the water's toxic, but I always, when I was a child, I always wanted to like make, like absorb all of the brownness of the lake that I lived on and make it clear. Which like you probably wouldn't want to see within that lake if it was clear.

• 38:40Brooke Averick?

  What would you absorb the brownness with?

• 38:43Connor Wood?

  There's like mussels and clams that are able to like filter water and get like stuff out of them, but because it's the, the lake that I'm from, it comes from a river. The river like deposits a bunch of soot and stuff and then the lake that I live on is, is low key a dam. A reservoir, if I may.

• 39:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Connor Wood?

  And so then it flows back out past it, but like because of the, the sediment deposits, like it, it will never, it's just cloud, you know, it's like, not fixable. So I had a dream last night that there were dolphins in the lake and I was like, this is so cool. But then the dolphins came to shore and they were seals. So that was the dream. And then I wake up this morning and I go down, I walk down to the, to the ocean and there's like a million dolphins. And then I open my phone and the first thing I get served on Google is this. If I may. Dolphins and orcas have passed the point of no return in evolution to live on land again. Which I didn't even.

• 39:41Brooke Averick?

  Again?

• 39:43Connor Wood?

  Like, I guess at one point dolphins and orcas were just living on land.

• 39:47Brooke Averick?

  How were they getting around?

• 39:49Connor Wood?

  Like, I guess kind of just like walking.

• 39:51Brooke Averick?

  Slithering?

• 39:52Connor Wood?

  No, like probably like.

• 39:53Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay, like.

• 39:56Connor Wood?

  Imagine you go to backup and there's just like a dolphin, a naked dolphin man back there being like, don't hit me.

• 40:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Do we have like, are there any images of like prehistoric dolphins? With legs?

• 40:10Connor Wood?

  A recent study from July of 2023 in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society Bee Sheds light on how marine mammals like dolphins and orcas have hit an evolutionary point of no return.

• 40:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god. Yeah, they were, they had arms and legs.

• 40:22Connor Wood?

  Well, that's like a crocodile.

• 40:24Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 40:26Connor Wood?

  Right? That's what it would look like, like long snout legs, watch. Yeah.

• 40:31Connor Wood?

  Damn, I was thinking that they would be standing upright like a human, like ordering a coffee.

• 40:34Brooke Averick?

  I know, I always get confused about evolution, cuz like, it's so easy to think of it as like, it started as this, and then this, and then this, and then this, but it's always about that like, least, the common ancestor thing, and then my brain sucks to her.

• 40:46Connor Wood?

  Oh, I don't know anything about what you're talking about, but it's just like, how these are all blobs, and then they get like little arms, you know? Cuz like, a dolphin is just a round blob. The fins, they got lucky with those, honestly.

• 40:58Brooke Averick?

  Pure luck.

• 41:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah, the fins were pure, a dorsal fin, pure luck.

• 41:04Brooke Averick?

  Fin is always a trigger word for me.

• 41:06Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 41:08Brooke Averick?

  I told you that story when in, uh, 11th grade bio, my teacher was like, um, like, what makes, uh, whale a mammal, or something like that?

• 41:21Connor Wood?

  What makes whale mammal?

• 41:22Brooke Averick?

  What makes whale, how come whale mammal? How come whale mammal? And then I was like, oh my god, they're fins? No, sorry, they're gills. I said, oh, they're gills. And then she wrote Brooke's idea on the whiteboard, and said, what does everyone think of that?

• 41:39Brooke Averick?

  And then like, no one, everyone was being really sweet, like, no one wanted to say, like, it's the exact opposite. So like, everyone was quiet, and then she just put a huge X through Brooke's idea, and then it just sat on the whiteboard for the rest of the class.

• 41:51Connor Wood?

  I can't believe-

• 41:51Brooke Averick?

  Which is sweet.

• 41:52Connor Wood?

  We share the exact same thing with that. I remember, there was one time in college, or maybe high school, when my teacher was like, hey guys, like, what, what kind of, it was a math question, but it was like, shapes. What kind of shape is this?

• 42:07Brooke Averick?

  Geometry?

• 42:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah. And I answered, and then after I answered, she goes, reminder, there are no dumb answers.

• 42:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 42:15Connor Wood?

  There are no stupid answers here. But it was after I answered, and I was wrong.

• 42:19Brooke Averick?

  Mm, mm, mm. Tough.

• 42:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

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• 43:24Speaker 01

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• 43:54Connor Wood?

  How's your headspace right now?

• 43:55Brooke Averick?

  Um, it's

• 43:56Connor Wood?

  It seems like fine.

• 43:56Brooke Averick?

  It's changed. It's definitely changed from the beginning of the episode to now.

• 43:59Connor Wood?

  In what way?

• 44:01Brooke Averick?

  It's leveled out.

• 44:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 44:03Brooke Averick?

  A little bit, like I'm more calm, but also I liked, I preferred it the other way. I felt like I had more to say.

• 44:09Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 44:10Brooke Averick?

  I've just been like a little bit unpredictable in my moods.

• 44:13Connor Wood?

  You've been crazy, you've been crazy.

• 44:15Brooke Averick?

  Well, which is why I had no choice but to get in like the most heated fight of my life.

• 44:20Connor Wood?

  With who?

• 44:20Brooke Averick?

  Anthropology support. Customer support.

• 44:23Connor Wood?

  That those bitches had it coming.

• 44:26Brooke Averick?

  And I'm not sure, you can tell me, I don't know if I was in the wrong or they were in the wrong.

• 44:30Connor Wood?

  I think usually if you're, if you specifically are considering if you may have been wrong, like

• 44:35Brooke Averick?

  I think, well,

• 44:36Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna hold your hand while I say this.

• 44:37Brooke Averick?

  No, I mean, they just like, it wasn't good customer service on their

• 44:40Connor Wood?

  What happened?

• 44:40Brooke Averick?

  Of course. Um, I have spent

• 44:45Brooke Averick?

  An obscene amount of money at Anthropologie since I moved on like, obviously I needed a new wardrobe because I moved and also just like house stuff and like Anthropologie has been my go to. Um, so like an obscene obscene amount of money. Okay. I ordered a sweater in an extra small because I wanted to be a little bit more snug. They sentenced me in an extra large. Okay. This is Connor. When I say obscene amount of money that I spent, I say obscene. So I reached out to support and I said, hey, you sent me an extra small. Can you please or an extra large? Can you resend the right one? They never answer me. A week goes by, I reach out to the claims again, never answer me. Finally I call.

• 45:29Brooke Averick?

  Okay. And you know, I never call.

• 45:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 45:33Brooke Averick?

  They don't answer me. Finally I get an email. Okay. Um, that they will refund me if I return like the original sweater. And I was like, well, I don't want to return the original sweater like I, the returning things are the hardest thing for me. Like you guys made an error. Can you just, and I, I'll be honest, I already gave the sweater to my friend.

• 45:54Connor Wood?

  Mm hmm.

• 45:55Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Can you just resend me the sweater? And they were like, we don't have it anymore. And I was like, okay, great. You can just refund me then. And they were like, not unless you send back the sweater.

• 46:06Brooke Averick?

  And I was like, I want to keep the sweater and I want you to send me my money back. And they were like, we can't do that. And I was like, okay. Cause every other experience I've had with any other customer service, they've just resent or refunded with, without making me send back like no problem, especially if I'm like a valued customer, which I am at Anthropologie. So at this point, I'm just like in such, in such a mood and I was like this, okay, that's disappointing. And they were like, we physically like from the backend like can't offer you a refund unless you send it back. And I was like, I just kept saying, okay, that's disappointing. And they go, we can give you a 15% refund. And I said, I thought you just said from the backend, you couldn't give me any refund. And they said, we can give you a 15% refund only. We cannot do any more refunds from the backend.

• 46:52Brooke Averick?

  And I said, okay, that's disappointing. And they said, we can give you a 20% refund, but we cannot give you anything else just because of the backend. And I just kept saying, okay, well, that's really disappointing as a valued customer.

• 47:04Brooke Averick?

  They could give me a 25% refund from the backend. Nothing else. And it just kept going on like that. And then I think we got to 30. They could refund me without me sending the original sweater back. And then that that was the cap. And I just kept saying, that's really disappointing. Thanks. Have a good day.

• 47:20Connor Wood?

  You just have to eat it at that point.

• 47:22Brooke Averick?

  I obviously am going to eat it.

• 47:25Brooke Averick?

  But what, what do you think?

• 47:26Connor Wood?

  Well, I think that's disappointing.

• 47:28Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God, it's disappointing.

• 47:29Connor Wood?

  From the backend. I'm just speaking from the backend.

• 47:31Brooke Averick?

  But don't you think like, ask, like, good customer service would just be refunding me for the error that they made?

• 47:36Connor Wood?

  Well, I think when you're anthropology, you're just like.

• 47:38Brooke Averick?

  Also, like, you're anthropo- you're not a small boutique.

• 47:41Connor Wood?

  No.

• 47:41Brooke Averick?

  You know? I spent a fortune there. Just refund me. I'm not asking for much.

• 47:48Connor Wood?

  I bet you'll get a 35% discount after this goes live. Which is something to look forward to.

• 47:53Brooke Averick?

  But then I was like, then I kind of thought about it. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm asking for them to refund me while I keep the product. Like, maybe that's wrong, but I honestly don't think it is.

• 48:05Brooke Averick?

  Because they made an error.

• 48:06Connor Wood?

  Well, they, this is their nightmare is so that they they forget that they're.

• 48:10Brooke Averick?

  They didn't know who they were dealing with.

• 48:12Connor Wood?

  Their valued customer as a podcast. Um, yeah, I think that that they probably are going to be. You'll probably be hearing from corporate soon to offer you.

• 48:21Brooke Averick?

  I'd be happy to.

• 48:22Connor Wood?

  To to offer you up to.

• 48:23Brooke Averick?

  Let me know what you guys can do on the backend.

• 48:25Connor Wood?

  Up to 42% from the backend coming your way.

• 48:28Brooke Averick?

  They cannot do refunds just because of backend issues. They can do.

• 48:32Connor Wood?

  I know a thing or two about the backend issues.

• 48:34Brooke Averick?

  Do you?

• 48:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 48:36Brooke Averick?

  Don't we all?

• 48:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, I would think so.

• 48:38Brooke Averick?

  But anyway, that's the only thing I did this weekend.

• 48:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, no, I.

• 48:44Connor Wood?

  I, historically speaking, I don't know if this has been always the case, but like, I think, and I do think that we've, we've gotten like a little bit entitled, but that is the new norm to just be like, we messed up. We sent you the wrong size and we're out of the sweater.

• 48:57Brooke Averick?

  I have never had an issue before with that, with places that I shop at far less. Like, good customer service has always been like, oh, our bad, let me resend or refund.

• 49:08Connor Wood?

  You were, no, you were dealing with like employee of the month at the customer service counter from the backend.

• 49:14Brooke Averick?

  I just and I said, this isn't good customer service.

• 49:17Connor Wood?

  Well, if you come pry this sweater out of my hands from my house, then you can get there.

• 49:23Brooke Averick?

  I didn't want to say I already gave it to my friend.

• 49:25Connor Wood?

  No, but like, they're not gonna like, have you go ship it out of the post office. I don't even know where the post office is.

• 49:29Brooke Averick?

  Like that, you're really like, and I'm not to be dramatic, you're putting me in a really tough position asking me to go return that.

• 49:37Brooke Averick?

  You're putting me in an almost impossible position.

• 49:39Connor Wood?

  So many crumbs in my bed right now. I have to, I'm in a, I'm covered with landmines all over my bed.

• 49:44Brooke Averick?

  Like, that's the last thing that I'm capable of.

• 49:45Connor Wood?

  My friend already has the sweater.

• 49:47Brooke Averick?

  That is the last thing that I can.

• 49:48Connor Wood?

  Suck it up on the back end.

• 49:49Brooke Averick?

  You made a mistake and now you're asking me to do something that is way out of the realm of possibility. Okay, I was, I mean, I was seeing, seeing red, truly.

• 50:00Brooke Averick?

  And it's just the principle.

• 50:02Connor Wood?

  Hey, man, I'm on your side.

• 50:04Brooke Averick?

  Are you?

• 50:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 50:05Brooke Averick?

  Thank you. Feels nice.

• 50:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's like genuinely the first one. I'm like, okay, suck it up, corporation.

• 50:12Brooke Averick?

  Anthropology.

• 50:12Connor Wood?

  Well, they are owned by.

• 50:15Brooke Averick?

  Urban Outfitters.

• 50:16Connor Wood?

  Or I think they own Urban Outfitters.

• 50:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, one or the other.

• 50:19Connor Wood?

  They're doing fine. Urban Outfitters makes a lot of money.

• 50:22Brooke Averick?

  And Urban Outfitters has, uh, rectified a situation like that with no problem.

• 50:29Connor Wood?

  I'm telling you, I think you were dealing with an individual who like is running customer service like the Navy.

• 50:34Brooke Averick?

  She just kept saying, one moment, please, so she could go check in with the backend.

• 50:37Connor Wood?

  Well, the backend is, is, is here with us today.

• 50:42Brooke Averick?

  The backend's the friends we made along the way.

• 50:43Connor Wood?

  The backend might not be the destination, but the journey. Um, I want to say something. So I, speaking of trends, which we hadn't, um, remember that, do you know the elevator trend? Like, I'm gonna stop the elevator more nonchalantly than you?

• 50:57Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 50:58Connor Wood?

  Do you know that? Does anyone in the room know that? Okay. I don't see that many trends. I see the like, you're so funny. Thanks, blah, blah, blah. But I, there's a, okay, I'm glad I didn't post this on TikTok yesterday, but there's a trend that came across my desk called like, we stopped, who couldn't stop the elevator more nonchalantly? And it's like, about to close and someone just like puts a finger out and it like opens back up. So I was doing that this weekend. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna like, do like one large like guru type step into the elevator.

• 51:32Connor Wood?

  The elevator didn't stop as nonchalantly as I would have expected it to.

• 51:38Connor Wood?

  Taking my pants off again on the podcast if you're listening on audio.

• 51:41Brooke Averick?

  Oh no.

• 51:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I have to. So it wasn't able to stop.

• 51:46Brooke Averick?

  Oh, they're coming all, they're coming down.

• 51:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god.

• 51:52Connor Wood?

  Shut off my-

• 51:53Brooke Averick?

  That's a really bad one too.

• 51:55Connor Wood?

  Shut.

• 51:57Connor Wood?

  Are you able to?

• 51:58Brooke Averick?

  Are you in pain?

• 51:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it hurts so bad.

• 52:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh Connor, I'm sorry.

• 52:03Connor Wood?

  No, it's okay, but that was the end of the video. Like it just like, shh, boom. And then the video just cuts because I was like, mmm, mmm. Like I'm surprised I'm not here

• 52:16Connor Wood?

  with like a half a leg right now.

• 52:18Brooke Averick?

  Damn, that's, I'm really sorry about that.

• 52:19Connor Wood?

  No, honestly, it's just-

• 52:20Brooke Averick?

  But you probably could have sued TikTok.

• 52:23Connor Wood?

  I'm, I'm, I might still-

• 52:25Brooke Averick?

  For trend purposes.

• 52:26Connor Wood?

  I might still sue TikTok.

• 52:28Brooke Averick?

  Pop off, King.

• 52:29Connor Wood?

  Um, it's so swollen and it's so bruised, but that's why I don't do trends because you never know what injury I'm gonna get anytime I try a trend.

• 52:38Connor Wood?

  You try a trend and it might be the end.

• 52:39Brooke Averick?

  You have actually like gotten a lot of injuries from doing trends.

• 52:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I know. A trend is not a friend of mine.

• 52:46Brooke Averick?

  No, it's not.

• 52:47Connor Wood?

  But, um, one good thing that came out of the New York trip was the billboard in Times Square, which was very pleasant. I have a billboard.

• 52:55Brooke Averick?

  That was the same spot-

• 52:56Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Brooke Averick?

  That the B and C billboard was.

• 52:58Connor Wood?

  It was.

• 52:58Brooke Averick?

  It's such a perfect spot.

• 53:00Connor Wood?

  It was me and Hadi Montag.

• 53:01Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, that's fabulous.

• 53:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 53:03Brooke Averick?

  Right in between the Olive Garden and the M and M's store.

• 53:06Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm. Well, I, I don't want to be anywhere else.

• 53:08Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 53:08Connor Wood?

  You physically went to the billboard when you were at the B and C one. I didn't realize, it's literally on the part of Times Square that is like-

• 53:16Brooke Averick?

  Times Square.

• 53:16Connor Wood?

  Times Square.

• 53:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:18Connor Wood?

  Like it's like at the, the thing. I don't know what you call it. But before that, we went to Canes, me and Hunter went to Canes in Times Square. And like, we had a, like a big night the night before and it was just like, let's get Canes today. And then we'll go see the billboard.

• 53:34Connor Wood?

  The Canes, first of all, you're in Times Square and like I definitely get pickpocketed or stabbed. And then we go into Canes and it's like everyone.

• 53:42Brooke Averick?

  Every time you say Canes, like it's giving me complete full bodies.

• 53:47Connor Wood?

  It was so divine, except for the fact that they had a DJ.

• 53:54Brooke Averick?

  They do have a DJ at that Canes.

• 53:56Connor Wood?

  A DJ playing like.

• 53:58Brooke Averick?

  The DJ has a residency at that Canes.

• 54:00Connor Wood?

  Jack Harlow remix is, it was like, um, vanilla baby boom. It was like, I was like, whoa, and, and there was a woman, he started playing, hang on, let me do my belt.

• 54:10Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 54:11Connor Wood?

  He started playing, um, like dancing queen type songs. And there was a woman with her, all her kids, she was probably in her like early 50s and like her, and she's like feeding her, hand feeding her kids and she has a birthday crown on or just maybe a crown and she's going.

• 54:36Connor Wood?

  Like fully dancing and I'm like, oh my God, like, and I'm watching, I'm, I'm like putting, there's just like not an environment that I wanted to like, I was like, people forgetting this is a restaurant.

• 54:45Brooke Averick?

  Well, it's time, it's Times Square too.

• 54:47Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, but time.

• 54:48Brooke Averick?

  Like just because it's Canes doesn't mean it's not Times Square.

• 54:51Connor Wood?

  But just because it's Times Square doesn't mean it's not a restaurant.

• 54:54Brooke Averick?

  The Canes out of Times Square.

• 54:56Connor Wood?

  There is a second time, there is a second Canes and it's not in Times Square.

• 55:00Brooke Averick?

  You can take, you can take the Times Square.

• 55:02Connor Wood?

  You can take the Canes.

• 55:03Brooke Averick?

  You can take the Canes out of Times Square, but you can't take the Times Square out of Canes.

• 55:06Connor Wood?

  I don't know about all that. Cause I have been to a Canes and it's, it's a great dining experience.

• 55:11Brooke Averick?

  When it's in Times Square.

• 55:13Connor Wood?

  Huh? How come?

• 55:16Brooke Averick?

  Huh?

• 55:17Connor Wood?

  Um, so I, I woke up early enough because I'm still on Times Square time. And so I woke up pretty early this morning and I was like, I have time to, to do my stretches, which I'm trying to get into stretching. Well, first of all, I listened, I started listening to Mel Robbins on accident because all, all of.

• 55:34Brooke Averick?

  Who's that?

• 55:35Connor Wood?

  She is like a Brene Brown type, type beast.

• 55:38Brooke Averick?

  Brene Brown is who said, clear is kind.

• 55:40Connor Wood?

  Wow, nice. Look at us connecting the dots. Well, Mel Robbins, I think is like a life coach-esque person. And she, she's like, uh, there's like a five second rule or something, but she's talking about getting out of bed. Like when your alarm goes off, you just count down five, four, three, two, one, you get to one, you just get up. So.

• 56:01Brooke Averick?

  Easier said than done.

• 56:02Connor Wood?

  Right. Well, I think that's the whole thing. Get up and you make your bed. But she also said, like, I don't know where we are on cortisol levels. Like, are we like.

• 56:13Brooke Averick?

  What about them?

• 56:13Connor Wood?

  Gonna move past that at any point, or is that fact now?

• 56:17Brooke Averick?

  Which piece about the cortisol levels?

• 56:19Connor Wood?

  Like, are cortisol good?

• 56:22Brooke Averick?

  How come cortisol?

• 56:23Connor Wood?

  Is cortisol high good or cortisol low?

• 56:26Brooke Averick?

  High cortisol is bad. I think that's just true.

• 56:29Connor Wood?

  What about low cortisol?

• 56:31Brooke Averick?

  Awesome question.

• 56:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we don't know, do we? Can we look up cortisol so we can get to the bottom of it?

• 56:36Brooke Averick?

  That's a stress hormone.

• 56:38Connor Wood?

  Okay, so you don't want it high.

• 56:40Brooke Averick?

  Right, that's when I had gotten my cortisol tested, the doctor said that he had seen similar levels on PTSD patients.

• 56:48Connor Wood?

  Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands located at the top of the kidneys. It plays a vital role in the body's response to stress and maintaining very, yes, physiological functions. I hate Google AI because that doesn't help me at all. Thank you, Google AI. Cortisol is an essential hormone that affects almost every organ in your body. Okay, so basically.

• 57:08Brooke Averick?

  What happens when you have low cortisol? So yeah, so I have high cortisol, so like my metabolism is slow. I'm tired.

• 57:16Connor Wood?

  I mean, you don't want low cortisol.

• 57:18Brooke Averick?

  What does low cortisol do?

• 57:19Connor Wood?

  I wish cortisol would just like pick its battles.

• 57:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Addison's disease.

• 57:24Connor Wood?

  At Ray?

• 57:25Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, you might like that.

• 57:27Connor Wood?

  The adrenal gland.

• 57:28Brooke Averick?

  Like, like.

• 57:29Connor Wood?

  Addison's disease.

• 57:32Connor Wood?

  With Addison's disease, the adrenal glands make too little of the hormone cortisol.

• 57:35Brooke Averick?

  But what happens when you have Addison's?

• 57:39Connor Wood?

  Man, can we just like have one disease? Addison's disease.

• 57:44Brooke Averick?

  It starts slowly. Tell me what the symptoms are. Extreme tiredness, salt cravings and weight loss.

• 57:51Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 57:52Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Body hair loss, almost.

• 57:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 57:57Connor Wood?

  This is everything I have.

• 57:59Brooke Averick?

  No, you don't have Addison's. Addison's.

• 58:03Connor Wood?

  It sounds like I do. I'm tired right now.

• 58:06Brooke Averick?

  Cause you're sleepy, because it's January.

• 58:08Connor Wood?

  My fair thing was like, I have Catholic guilt. I was like, I have a lot of Catholic guilt, which is weird, because I'm not Catholic. And Caleb here and was like, that's just anxiety. I was like, oh.

• 58:18Brooke Averick?

  I know, I would love for you to.

• 58:21Brooke Averick?

  Get that.

• 58:21Connor Wood?

  Lock in.

• 58:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 58:22Connor Wood?

  I need to get an assistant to do all of the things that I've been talking about doing for.

• 58:27Brooke Averick?

  You need to hire Sodi.

• 58:29Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 58:29Brooke Averick?

  And I'm not even kidding. She has literally Brett hired Sodi and she has gotten him so many doctor's appointments. Just like his car registered, like so much shit she has done. She's gotten him like trash can, like literally.

• 58:43Connor Wood?

  She got him trash can?

• 58:44Brooke Averick?

  From the city. That kind of trash can. Like literally just that shit that like you don't want to do.

• 58:49Connor Wood?

  Like, it sounds like I'm being.

• 58:50Brooke Averick?

  That feels like the end of the world.

• 58:51Connor Wood?

  Insane.

• 58:52Brooke Averick?

  Paying parking tickets, like she will literally just like. Be an assistant for like life tasks that feel impossible. She's so good at that.

• 59:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I, I need it at this point. Okay, but cortisol.

• 59:05Brooke Averick?

  You, everyone has it.

• 59:06Connor Wood?

  Oh, do we just want medium cortisol? Was that the answer? Okay.

• 59:09Brooke Averick?

  I think with everything, we just want standard levels.

• 59:12Connor Wood?

  We'd love if there was just like a life. I like genuinely, if someone had like a life thing like, hey, here's everything that you could do every day to just like maintain and then it, what?

• 59:22Brooke Averick?

  Why is it not that simple? Like test all my levels. Tell me which ones are high and then tell me exactly what to do to get them back on track. I don't know, like obviously I'm not a doctor. I'm sure it's a lot more challenging than that, but. Let's just do that. No?

• 59:36Connor Wood?

  But like, why is it that challenging? And how come? Is it that challenging? Because. Stop putting, like, we need to just give up on Mars. Mars isn't going anywhere. My cortisol levels are.

• 59:47Brooke Averick?

  I really want to get in that full body scan.

• 59:49Connor Wood?

  I do and I don't.

• 59:50Brooke Averick?

  I know, I'm definitely scared of it, but I, I want to know.

• 59:55Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 59:55Brooke Averick?

  But you have to be in there for a minute.

• 59:58Connor Wood?

  No.

• 59:58Brooke Averick?

  You really do.

• 59:59Connor Wood?

  You don't if you don't go.

• 1:00:02Brooke Averick?

  You're totally right about that. But if you do.

• 1:00:06Connor Wood?

  If you do go.

• 1:00:07Brooke Averick?

  You should be in there for a minute.

• 1:00:08Connor Wood?

  How come?

• 1:00:09Brooke Averick?

  It takes a minute.

• 1:00:10Connor Wood?

  Okay, here's the thing. Sumail Robbins.

• 1:00:12Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 1:00:13Connor Wood?

  Sorry.

• 1:00:15Connor Wood?

  You know, I love getting sidetracked, my fat ass, but I

• 1:00:20Connor Wood?

  she told me you can't, you shouldn't drink coffee in the first two hours of waking up. Cause it messes up, but it's like.

• 1:00:27Brooke Averick?

  That's a privilege.

• 1:00:27Connor Wood?

  But then like, how do you go, you know?

• 1:00:30Brooke Averick?

  Right. No one can just like, sit and like, do yoga for the first two hours of waking up to get ready for their morning coffee.

• 1:00:37Connor Wood?

  Wake up earlier.

• 1:00:38Brooke Averick?

  I'm not, no one can wake up at 4am and let you tell the tale.

• 1:00:41Connor Wood?

  If you, if you use her five, four, three, two, one.

• 1:00:43Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm honestly starting to get pissed at Mel.

• 1:00:47Connor Wood?

  Mel can.

• 1:00:49Brooke Averick?

  I'm almost really starting to get pissed at Mel. This is a Brene Brown space only.

• 1:00:54Connor Wood?

  About the Brene Brown.

• 1:00:55Brooke Averick?

  No, I like, this is like, we are Brene stans in this space. Not listening to Mel right now.

• 1:01:02Connor Wood?

  Listen, I, I, listen, listen, listen. I am willing to try the coffee thing. Like I'll have a Celsius instead.

• 1:01:09Brooke Averick?

  That's worse for you.

• 1:01:11Connor Wood?

  I don't know about all that.

• 1:01:12Brooke Averick?

  I really do feel that way.

• 1:01:14Connor Wood?

  We need.

• 1:01:14Brooke Averick?

  Coffee is at least like somewhat natural. Like Celsius to me tastes no different than Lysol.

• 1:01:22Connor Wood?

  Oh, I F with C so bad.

• 1:01:25Brooke Averick?

  I get it, but I do think that like, it's just so artificial that there's no way it could be better for you than coffee.

• 1:01:31Connor Wood?

  We have to pick our battles in this short life.

• 1:01:33Brooke Averick?

  Six pounds of French vanilla creamer into my coffee.

• 1:01:37Connor Wood?

  It's just hard to believe that something called Dunkin' Donuts is like, oh, that's natural. No, it's not.

• 1:01:43Brooke Averick?

  Flat coffee from Dunkin?

• 1:01:46Brooke Averick?

  Good and good for you.

• 1:01:47Connor Wood?

  Okay, listen. Yeah, I'm on your side still.

• 1:01:52Brooke Averick?

  Well.

• 1:01:53Connor Wood?

  But Mel is a new follow of mine. So if I come in looking and acting a little bit put together and maybe more clear and maybe more intent, shun focused. Oh. Then yeah, maybe Mel has had her way with, maybe Mel has jumped my bones.

• 1:02:13Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:02:13Connor Wood?

  At the end of the day.

• 1:02:14Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:02:15Connor Wood?

  Or at the beginning of the day.

• 1:02:16Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:02:16Connor Wood?

  When I've skipped my coffee.

• 1:02:17Brooke Averick?

  Before your coffee.

• 1:02:17Connor Wood?

  I would love for her to introduce an alternative to like, okay, if you can't have coffee, and it's like,

• 1:02:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Connor Wood?

  We're like fighting Mel right now, and Mel does not care if we live or die, truly, like, does not know we're here.

• 1:02:28Brooke Averick?

  It's almost like she wants us to die.

• 1:02:30Connor Wood?

  She wants us to pass on.

• 1:02:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:32Connor Wood?

  For sure.

• 1:02:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so let me know if you end up doing that.

• 1:02:36Connor Wood?

  Um, do what? Pass on?

• 1:02:39Brooke Averick?

  No, Mel's advice.

• 1:02:41Connor Wood?

  Mel has so much advice, though.

• 1:02:43Brooke Averick?

  Okay, the getting out of bed after five, making your bed and not having coffee for two hours.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  I did it this morning, but I was at 7:30, 7:15. It was at seven.

• 1:02:52Brooke Averick?

  And you had, you're drinking coffee, right? You came in without coffee?

• 1:02:55Connor Wood?

  I, I ordered, I ordered this coffee at 8:15, but I got a green juice with it.

• 1:03:00Brooke Averick?

  I don't think that Mel said that that's an alternative.

• 1:03:03Connor Wood?

  She didn't. She said the first thing you put in your body should not be coffee. You should wait two hours after waking up. The first thing I put in my body was a glass of water at seven, and then I walked and I got a green juice, and I drank that on my walk back, and then on the Uber here at 8:30,

• 1:03:22Connor Wood?

  I had my coffee.

• 1:03:23Brooke Averick?

  Okay, that seems like a more reasonable approach.

• 1:03:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah, cuz I needed to be turned on for this, horned up for this podcast, but then like, I'm hoping not to have as much of a cortisol spike and crash.

• 1:03:39Brooke Averick?

  Do you feel a difference?

• 1:03:42Connor Wood?

  My cortisol is really not like yanking me around by the pigtails right now, but who knows what could happen at right when we-

• 1:03:50Brooke Averick?

  When you say yanking you around by the pigtails, what do you think of?

• 1:03:55Connor Wood?

  Like Chicken Little for some reason, but the movie Chicken Little.

• 1:03:58Brooke Averick?

  I'm thinking of that scene from Matilda.

• 1:04:00Connor Wood?

  Matilda 2.

• 1:04:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, where she's literally yanking the little girl around with the pigtails, throwing her into the choki.

• 1:04:10Brooke Averick?

  Here's one thing I'll say.

• 1:04:13Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yes.

• 1:04:17Brooke Averick?

  I was writing something the other day.

• 1:04:19Connor Wood?

  Uh-uh.

• 1:04:20Brooke Averick?

  Yep.

• 1:04:22Brooke Averick?

  I was writing something the other day, just like this inconsequential scene about like, you know Phoebe?

• 1:04:29Connor Wood?

  I'm familiar, yeah.

• 1:04:30Brooke Averick?

  Phoebe like seeing, mistaking a celebrity, thinking she sees a celebrity who's a young man, and then it turns out like it's actually just a lesbian woman. And I'll probably cut this scene because it's actually not even funny at all, but I really was like, at first I put in like John Mulaney as the man that she saw, and then realized after that it was just a lesbian. But then I was like, I don't think you can see John Mulaney and be like, and get confused if that's a lesbian. And then that really got me thinking, like, we're so quick to be like, oh, he looks like a lesbian. Listen, we're so quick to be like, oh, he looks like a lesbian, and I feel like we're always saying that. But when push comes to shove, I couldn't think of one celebrity to use in that instance that looks like a lesbian.

• 1:05:13Connor Wood?

  I sent you two.

• 1:05:14Brooke Averick?

  So I said John Mulaney, I took a poll on my Snapchat, and everyone was like, not really, no. And then I was like, okay, how about Michael Sarah? And then everyone was just like, no, I think you're just thinking like little boys.

• 1:05:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:27Brooke Averick?

  And I was like, yeah, maybe. So who looks like a lesbian?

• 1:05:30Connor Wood?

  Like Owen Wilson.

• 1:05:31Brooke Averick?

  Besides, no, Owen Wilson does not look like a lesbian.

• 1:05:33Connor Wood?

  Completely. I'm looking around, everyone agrees. I have a good read on this.

• 1:05:36Brooke Averick?

  Justin Bieber in 2011.

• 1:05:39Connor Wood?

  I have a good read on this because I look like a lesbian myself.

• 1:05:45Brooke Averick?

  I didn't want to say how many responses

• 1:05:48Connor Wood?

  Me.

• 1:05:49Brooke Averick?

  said Connor would, but it was over 600.

• 1:05:53Connor Wood?

  I know, I know. I know what I look like. I know what I look like. And it's a good thing. I like, literally.

• 1:06:00Brooke Averick?

  Connor, it's a great thing.

• 1:06:01Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 1:06:02Brooke Averick?

  You just, you look young, which is really good, and.

• 1:06:06Connor Wood?

  Wait, I want to see who else I sent to you because it was good.

• 1:06:09Brooke Averick?

  You said Owen Wilson.

• 1:06:10Connor Wood?

  And I said, um.

• 1:06:12Brooke Averick?

  Not Bill Hader.

• 1:06:14Connor Wood?

  No, no. I did not say Bill Hader.

• 1:06:17Brooke Averick?

  I said not Bill Hader.

• 1:06:18Connor Wood?

  Crap, who am I thinking of? Who am I thinking of? I can think of it, I can think of it. Hugh Grant and like, and like.

• 1:06:29Brooke Averick?

  That I understand, like a Catholic woman.

• 1:06:32Connor Wood?

  Hugh Grant in Let Me Look Like Bridget Jones Diary.

• 1:06:37Brooke Averick?

  No, I was gonna say not at no.

• 1:06:40Connor Wood?

  100%. Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones Diary looks like a total lesbian woman.

• 1:06:47Brooke Averick?

  I see that.

• 1:06:49Connor Wood?

  Like completely, completely. Yeah, like on the right there, on the right, on the right, the picture on the right. No, one more to the left, like the like nice swoopy hair.

• 1:07:00Brooke Averick?

  The middle part?

• 1:07:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I just, it, yes, but it was interesting because when push comes to shove, I really couldn't think of anyone. But I feel like in the past, I'm so quick to be like, oh, he looks like a lesbian.

• 1:07:13Brooke Averick?

  Anyway.

• 1:07:14Connor Wood?

  Anyway. Um, I think that's a good thing to end on.

• 1:07:19Brooke Averick?

  Awesome.

• 1:07:20Connor Wood?

  All right. Thank you guys for listening. I never even welcomed you guys. So thanks for coming and thanks for leaving and we will see you. We'll see Yo Ash in the bonus. If you guys want to come listen to the bonus, tngstudios.tv/brookandconnor make a podcast. I think it might be Connor.

• 1:07:35Brooke Averick?

  Very good.

• 1:07:36Connor Wood?

  We are, wait, I'm gonna look up our YouTube subs because we have to be so close.

• 1:07:41Brooke Averick?

  I think we are so close.

• 1:07:41Connor Wood?

  We are so close?

• 1:07:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:44Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 1:07:45Brooke Averick?

  Even I'm starting to get a little antsy.

• 1:07:46Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. Let me look. I'm almost there. I'm so close. I'm almost there. 98.

• 1:07:54Brooke Averick?

  Come on y'all, Connor's so close. He's almost there.

• 1:07:56Connor Wood?

  I'm so close. I'm finna bust on cam.

• 1:07:58Brooke Averick?

  Help him out.

• 1:07:59Connor Wood?

  And I would love to get the plaque, you know, so they made them, they're making them smaller by the day, the YouTube plaques.

• 1:08:07Brooke Averick?

  Help us, help you out so that we can get a plaque before it's a miniature.

• 1:08:12Connor Wood?

  What should we agree before it's a shrinky dink and we have to put it on our keychain? Please help us get that plaque. But what should we do at 100K subs on YouTube? It'd be funny if we'd be like, we'll kiss on camera. It's like we always do that on camera, so.

• 1:08:26Brooke Averick?

  Let's think about it.

• 1:08:27Connor Wood?

  Okay. Think about it. Wait a minute. Think by next time we record, we may have 100K.

• 1:08:34Brooke Averick?

  Fingers crossed.

• 1:08:35Connor Wood?

  Watch us have 97.

• 1:08:36Brooke Averick?

  99.9.

• 1:08:38Connor Wood?

  He leaves with a hazzan. Um, okay, guys.

• 1:08:40Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:08:41Connor Wood?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:08:42Brooke Averick?

  Love you all.

• 1:08:43Connor Wood?

  See you in the bonus slash.

• 1:08:46Connor Wood?

  All the time if you follow us both on Instagram. Bye.

• 1:08:50Brooke Averick?

  This week on Close Friends.

• 1:08:52Connor Wood?

  You wanna listen to a song?

• 1:08:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Connor Wood?

  Welcome back to bonus, welcome back to bonus, bonus, bonus, welcome back to bonus.

• 1:08:58Brooke Averick?

  My preference is sucking. What would be your crime?

• 1:09:01Connor Wood?

  Just fucking moron.

• 1:09:04Brooke Averick?

  Like, we needed to start taking, let me focus. Or like, crack.

• 1:09:09Connor Wood?

  Damn, we're out of staples again. I think that new employee is eating them. Sign up on TMGstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

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