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This week, Brooke and Connor talk about 3 day hangovers, Connor’s busty lymphatic drainage massage, and Brooke’s new favorite saying. Plus, Brooke has an interesting experience at the movie theater.
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Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood.
0:00 Celebrating 3 Day Hangovers
2:39 Intro
2:59 Connor’s Gnarly Wound
4:52 The Perception of Time
8:03 Brooke’s New Obsession
12:59 Wash Your Fruit
15:45 Germs Are Everywhere
20:14 HelloFresh21:57 Cash App
23:32 Connor’s Bust
28:05 Nodes and Hernias
29:34 Belting in a Waymo
31:24 Open Body Language
34:02 Smelling Gas & Photo Taking Ettiquet
36:59 Hinge Check In
38:45 Salt Hank’s New Restaurant
41:55 Gaining Weight In Your Hips
42:58 Brooke’s Materialists Experience
48:28 Shooting Smucker's
53:30 Living In Black Mirror
54:36 Losing Friends Over Sushi Fumi
57:43 Debriefing Let Them Theory
58:59 Constant State of Sweat & Cortisol Face
1:03:49 See You In Bonus!!!
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Transcript 11,334 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:00 Connor Wood? Hey, Brooke.
1:01 Brooke Averick? Hi, Connor.
1:03 Connor Wood? How are you?
1:04 Brooke Averick? Good. How are you?
1:06 Connor Wood? Good. And how is everybody else doing here? Welcome back to Brooke and Connor Make-up Podcast, for one.
1:12 Brooke Averick? I think everyone in this space is doing well. Is it you good? I'm all good. Yeah.
1:16 Connor Wood? So I finished tour over the weekend. I did my last show of my tour. We celebrated.
1:21 Brooke Averick? Yay, Connor!
1:22 Connor Wood? Thank you.
1:24 Brooke Averick? Do you get to finally, like, sit back, relax, and kick your feet up for once?
1:28 Connor Wood? I go to DC to finish off Jake's tour. I have DC, Boston, New York City, and Atlantic City over the weekend. And then I am done.
1:37 Brooke Averick? All over one weekend?
1:39 Connor Wood? Yeah.
1:39 Brooke Averick? Okay.
1:40 Connor Wood? And then I will be done. And then I'm done, I'm dusted for the summer.
1:46 Brooke Averick? Wow.
1:47 Connor Wood? Which is just fabulous. I get the full month of July to reprioritize, finish moving in. Obviously, seven months into my moving in.
1:59 Connor Wood? I'm getting situated. I'm gonna learn things about myself and my body. I'm gonna meet my neighbors. I'm gonna build a community. I'm gonna do all of that within a month.
2:10 Brooke Averick? I'm so excited for you.
2:11 Connor Wood? Yeah, well, that being said, thank you. That being said, I, we celebrated in a big way on Saturday.
2:17 Brooke Averick? How so?
2:18 Connor Wood? In Charlotte, North Carolina. Well, I, I drank just I like in a celebratory way drank so much. I am on day three of a hangover. Like, I just want to tell you, like, the time has come, the time is now that this is now I'm gonna have to, I think something happened in my body recently where it's like, oh, this is gonna be like you, I have to start planning in advance.
2:42 Brooke Averick? Like
2:43 Connor Wood? Cause I, I shouldn't be
2:43 Brooke Averick? Planning your hangovers, like taking the days off?
2:46 Connor Wood? Yeah, like I, I still, I, I shouldn't be not 100% on Tuesday.
2:51 Brooke Averick? Can I ask, like, if this is day three, what was day one of the hangover like?
2:55 Connor Wood? At the airport?
2:56 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
2:57 Connor Wood? And I was like, really like, I don't care if this plane goes down.
3:01 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
3:02 Connor Wood? Like, that would actually be the better of the, of the options that I have right now.
3:06 Brooke Averick? Was like, what were your symptoms?
3:10 Connor Wood? Just like complete disarray, confusion. My, my biggest thing
3:15 Brooke Averick? Disorientation, that's the worst.
3:16 Connor Wood? Disorientation, but like, my biggest thing is like, I need, I'm now going over every word I said to everyone last night. And obviously, like, I don't know a ton of people in Charlotte. I'm just hanging out with strange, so it's not like I can debrief with these, these people that I will never see again. Like, you know what I mean?
3:33 Brooke Averick? What is on your arm?
3:35 Connor Wood? Oh, now that's, now I'm glad you asked about that.
3:58 Connor Wood? So at my second, at my fourth show, we did four shows in Charlotte. I did this thing. I was so excited. I'm like, we're done. Let's jump.
4:06 Brooke Averick? Yeah, we're done. Let's jump.
4:08 Connor Wood? That's what I'm always saying. We're done. Let's jump. They make, they used to write songs about jumping in a celebratory way. And jump, you know?
4:17 Brooke Averick? That is one of the best Glee numbers that no one talks about.
4:20 Connor Wood? Oh, and I'm glad that like, everything is connected and we're able to find that segue.
4:24 Brooke Averick? Yes, I agree.
4:26 Connor Wood? So, I run out, Maggie brings me out, it's the last show of four days. I run full speed from behind the stage, this is dead sober. And I jump in a Binton Boone way, kind of way. And I run, I hit the sign of the comedy club, full blown with my arm.
4:46 Brooke Averick? What do you, like, that looks like it needed, like, pretty intense stitches.
4:50 Connor Wood? I thought that I was gonna need stitches. I had a long sleeve shirt on, I pulled it down over my arm, I could feel the blood, but I was like, this is one of those things, like, when I fell at the show in San Francisco. I was coming out, I fell, I thought everyone had seen it, so I did like, three full minutes of jokes about falling and no one had seen it. So I was like, I'm not gonna talk about my arm bleeding out, I was losing so much blood.
5:14 Brooke Averick? Could you not, was your long sleeve shirt, that is like making me nauseous, like the slit right now? So could, was there not blood pooling onto your shirt?
5:24 Connor Wood? It was a fab, it's a fabulous shirt, I'm gonna all give them a shout out, it's from Huckberry. It absorbed all the blood from within and didn't seep through. They should look into making, like, pads.
5:36 Brooke Averick? That is a slice, Connor.
5:39 Connor Wood? You know what, I know. And the thing is, I would have it covered up, but I got, it's gotta breathe a little bit. I've had it, I've had it in bandages overnight, cuz I don't want it to like bleed onto my bed if it decides to.
5:51 Brooke Averick? Yeah, you were at war.
5:53 Connor Wood? Um, but all in all, great show. Uh, I just, you know, like, I guess, I think I'm retiring from, from the, from the dive bar post-show.
6:06 Brooke Averick? Okay, and you, are the people that you're like partying with, like, your fans?
6:12 Connor Wood? I do end up going to, every time I go to a bar, like, it's like people that were at the show and it's like, okay, this is my new chosen family for the, for this evening.
6:18 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
6:19 Connor Wood? You know? Um, I probably shouldn't announce that on here, but it's not every time, sometimes we do that. Like, it was the last show of this tour, so we went out. Um, and then we have, um, the show this weekend with Jake.
6:33 Brooke Averick? Wow.
6:34 Connor Wood? And I'm so excited about. And then it's summer.
6:37 Brooke Averick? It's summer. It's been summer, but then it'll really be your summer.
6:41 Connor Wood? Yeah.
6:42 Brooke Averick? When does summer start for you? Like usually?
6:44 Connor Wood? I would say like June to me, it feels like spring, but it's, it is summer at its core. Cause you do get out of like, if you think about like college and high school, you got out like June 5th, right?
6:55 Brooke Averick? I was gonna ask, when did you get out for high school?
6:57 Connor Wood? Yeah, like June 5th.
6:58 Brooke Averick? Yeah, to me, that's when summer starts.
7:00 Connor Wood? But I'm seeing like a lot of proms happen right now. Maybe they moved it because of like global warming or I don't know, something.
7:06 Brooke Averick? I don't think, I think like COVID shifted school schedules.
7:09 Connor Wood? I think so too. Because graduations, I just saw, we were in Richmond, I think, Virginia, and I was checking into the hotel and they asked, they were like, are you here for prom? And I was like, excuse me?
7:22 Connor Wood? And they're like, are you checking, is someone else here with you to check you? I go, no, it's just me.
7:27 Connor Wood? And they're like, all right, champ. Like, I, hey, I'm not here for prom. Like, I don't know how, they didn't believe me. But it was a prom and it was like,
7:36 Connor Wood? is it July right now?
7:37 Brooke Averick? Not right now.
7:38 Connor Wood? Okay. Geez, that just scared me really bad. Um, I guess, so it was the end of, or the beginning of May and they were having, no, no, beginning of June. Okay. Yeah, that's when prom is. Maybe nothing moved.
7:51 Brooke Averick? Okay.
7:53 Connor Wood? Someone was talking online the other day how time has, or like our perception of time has shifted so much since COVID. And they were like, what do you mean? You met your now husband that you have a baby with after COVID? Like, it's been that long since COVID that like, people have met other people, married them and gotten pregnant and had a baby. Like, it's been that long since lockdown.
8:18 Brooke Averick? Five years, right?
8:19 Connor Wood? Yeah, but that's insane.
8:20 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
8:21 Connor Wood? Five years since lockdown?
8:23 Brooke Averick? It is so scary how quickly time moves. Like, once you get older, like, a school year to me used to be eons. Like, it never felt like I'd make it through September to June. And now September to June is just like a snap, which is very scary. Cause like, you're just like inching closer to the end.
8:41 Connor Wood? Okay, Jesus.
8:44 Brooke Averick? Like at a rapid pace.
8:45 Connor Wood? Can we not do that? I told you I'm still not 100% off this hangar and you can't be talking about how, how like mortal, mortal we are. Please.
8:55 Brooke Averick? Yeah, sorry.
8:56 Connor Wood? We could talk about, we could talk about being immortal. Like I probably should have died because of how much blood I lost over the weekend and.
9:02 Brooke Averick? Speaking of immortal, what a fabulous segue.
9:09 Brooke Averick? Izzy, the book that I read last week about a fey warrior.
9:17 Connor Wood? Oh my God.
9:19 Brooke Averick? Thousands of years old. The love of my life, King Fisher. You guys have got to read Quicksilver. I mean, holy frickin' air ball. Okay. Wow. The thing is like, there are so many books out now.
9:35 Connor Wood? You're saying holy air ball now?
9:37 Brooke Averick? Yes, thank you. Quicksilver was such a holy frickin' air ball. And Connor, this, remember the cover that I was showing you like a few weeks ago of that one I love with the two people kissing on it?
9:48 Connor Wood? Yeah.
9:49 Brooke Averick? This one is just one solo man on the cover, King Fisher. It's maybe like a little bit worse than the Love Hypothesis cover. It's, it's one that you might not think, hey, I want to read this.
10:01 Connor Wood? I think a lot of people are reading this book right now. I've seen it on someone's stories.
10:04 Brooke Averick? It, it's mine probably Connor.
10:08 Brooke Averick? Um, might be my stories. I've been posting about it.
10:09 Connor Wood? No, I saw it today. I saw it today.
10:11 Brooke Averick? It's so good. And it actually, so many people don't like it and I, that's fine. We can all have different opinions on books. I don't quite get that because it really is a Court of Mist and Fury and like Fourth Wing in another font. It's that classic like morally gray, like old fey and a hot young body. That is just like evil seeming, but really the greatest guy that I know. Okay. Will die for his found family. And it's just holy air ball. Like that's all I can keep saying about it.
10:48 Connor Wood? Well, holy air ball is like.
10:52 Connor Wood? Is like you, you read the situation wrong.
10:55 Brooke Averick? Not right. That's not how I'm using it.
10:58 Connor Wood? Okay. You're yeah. Okay. So language is showing.
11:00 Brooke Averick? Reclaiming holy fricking airball. It's like, oh my God.
11:05 Connor Wood? Holy fricking airball.
11:07 Brooke Averick? I'm underlined a quote and I never do this and everyone that says this book is poorly written. This is where I'm going to argue with you. I think it's okay to that. Maybe this style of writing wasn't for you. Can't say it's poorly written. Connor, I think maybe even you will like this passage that I underlined. Because it's, it's up your alley. Okay.
11:27 Connor Wood? It's up your alley and around the corner.
11:29 Brooke Averick? Quote that gave me, I mean, the tears. I was like hurling sobs. Okay. They're getting ready to, to hit the, um, front lines of battle. Okay. Huge, huge battle coming up.
11:43 Brooke Averick? King Fisher, you'll see him on the front. He says, be relenting and unmerciful in the face of the wicked dead. Okay. Ren laid a steadying hand on my shoulder. And if you should find soul sundered from flesh, order a drink for us at the first tavern you come across in the afterlife. We'll settle the tab when we get there. Holy fricking airball. Like, does that not give you chills? We'll settle the tab in the afterlife.
12:10 Connor Wood? I was just trying to understand what they were like, what context that's being.
12:13 Brooke Averick? They're getting ready to like, like risk their lives on the battlefield. And it's like, if you die, get me a drink in the afterlife. We'll settle the tab when we all meet there.
12:24 Connor Wood? Cash at me when we, after we're, after we've gotten across the Rainbow Bridge.
12:28 Brooke Averick? It's like, we can just don't even worry about that right now. Worry about, worry about taking care of yourself. If you make it to the afterlife, I don't even want you to worry about the bill. All that I need you to know is that we'll meet there.
12:40 Connor Wood? I will definitely be following up in the afterlife saying, hey, gonna send you a little reminder. I'm gonna, hey, bumping this?
12:46 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
12:47 Connor Wood? You do owe me $14 for that, for that spicy marg.
12:50 Brooke Averick? So you can say you don't like the book. That's fine. You can't say that's poorly written. Cause you know what I'm about to say?
12:58 Connor Wood? Holy friggin' airball.
12:59 Brooke Averick? Yeah, that's all I have to say. And this one's gonna be made into a movie.
13:04 Connor Wood? Oh, that's good.
13:05 Brooke Averick? On Netflix. I'm really excited. I just said, this is my new, this is my new bible. Yeah.
13:12 Connor Wood? It sounded like a, it sounded like a bible verse when you first.
13:15 Brooke Averick? Yeah, very smutty. I will say that.
13:18 Connor Wood? It literally kind of feels a little bit, not poorly written, but plagiarized from Do Not Go Quietly into the, that dark night. Like it's that quote, kind of.
13:29 Brooke Averick? It's maybe inspired by some of the great literary classics.
13:33 Connor Wood? Holy friggin' airball.
13:34 Brooke Averick? Holy friggin' airball. Y'all, I really, I really like this one. Izzy, I need you to read it.
13:40 Speaker 04 Oh, if it's gonna be a movie, I'll do it.
13:42 Brooke Averick? Yeah, I really care for King Fisher. At the beginning, I said, I'm not really sure that I could fall in love with someone named King Fisher. He just goes by Fisher usually, so that's sweet. But yeah, really care for him.
13:59 Connor Wood? Do you wash your fruit?
14:01 Brooke Averick? Yes, but just with water.
14:04 Connor Wood? You rinse it?
14:05 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
14:07 Brooke Averick? How about you?
14:09 Connor Wood? Well, I saw TikTok the other day. I'll go and like, if I'm walking by bodega or something like, I'll stop in and grab, because I haven't been here that long, so I don't need like a bushel of bananas. I just need like three.
14:20 Brooke Averick? Bananas.
14:21 Connor Wood? Bananas.
14:22 Brooke Averick? You said that like you're from Philly.
14:24 Connor Wood? Bananas.
14:26 Brooke Averick? Am I crazy?
14:28 Connor Wood? Bananas.
14:29 Brooke Averick? Bananas. You said bananas.
14:32 Connor Wood? I know. I'm just like trying some stuff.
14:36 Brooke Averick? You don't need to wash bananas.
14:38 Connor Wood? I know, but like sometimes I'll walk by and I'll get an apple.
14:41 Brooke Averick? That you need to wash. You need to wash the skin that goes into your mouth.
14:46 Connor Wood? Yeah, I know. But I didn't think about it till today. I have, I have been rinsing them, but like, I think I need to use soap.
14:56 Connor Wood? Like that was put there by someone's hand and how did it get even there?
15:00 Brooke Averick? Yeah, it's gross to think about. There's like specific wash for fruits and vegetables that makes
15:05 Connor Wood? I'm gonna get it.
15:06 Brooke Averick? More sense to me than using soap.
15:08 Connor Wood? Cause I started thinking about one apples and like that's like an e- it has a lot of surface area like I can't I'm not, there's not a ton of crevices on an apple where like bacteria can get in and be like, I'm in, I'm around here. You know, like it's gonna be on its surface. When I started thinking about broccoli.
15:24 Brooke Averick? Ooh, like crevices, nooks and crannies. Oh my.
15:28 Connor Wood? Yeah. And it's like, okay, I think I need to, that's just like a little update in my, like an exciting thing I'm working on.
15:34 Brooke Averick? Grapes are tough too, cause there's just so many of them.
15:37 Connor Wood? Oh, grapes.
15:38 Brooke Averick? And they're always like very matte with dirt.
15:41 Connor Wood? Grapes are really freaky. I'm gonna ruin some people's day real quick. There was like a commonly known fact for a while that like vineyards that grow grapes would supply spiders like to the vineyards because they would eat the bugs that would like ruin the crops. And so there was a time, let me know if someone else remembers this, where like frequently people were getting bags of grapes and there was like a huge massive spider like in the grapes. Ooh.
16:12 Brooke Averick? I don't remember that, but I believe it.
16:14 Connor Wood? Did I make that up? Izzy, do you remember that?
16:16 Speaker 04 Kind of. I wasn't sure if it was like real or not, but yeah.
16:20 Connor Wood? I'm pretty sure I saw, like I used to see videos. That was like one of my biggest fears. I was a big grape, I was a big grape head. Loved my grapes, but.
16:30 Brooke Averick? Do you, are you a green or red grape person?
16:32 Connor Wood? Red.
16:34 Brooke Averick? How about like white cherries or red cherries?
16:36 Connor Wood? Red.
16:37 Brooke Averick? I like red grapes and white cherries.
16:40 Connor Wood? You're, you're kinda crazy.
16:43 Brooke Averick? Yeah, you could say that.
16:46 Connor Wood? Um, I also don't totally get bacteria. I wanna put that out there cause I was thinking about it the other day and it's like, what, I rub up against a branch and there's just bacteria that's been sitting to, and waiting to get on my shin? What, why does it, do you know what I mean? Like why, why is, are germs everywhere?
17:02 Connor Wood? Like, you know the concept, the concept of germs? Which like germs don't freak me out. To me, germs are like little kind monsters, like gooey.
17:12 Connor Wood? Are they just like sitting everywhere plotting on our downfall all the time? Are there germs everywhere?
17:18 Brooke Averick? I think there are germs everywhere, but like most of the time your body is fine, is fine with them. It's just sometimes when your immune system is weakened, they're not fine with them. Like Rob. My baby with the weakened immune system, like he's more susceptible to germies.
17:36 Connor Wood? Well, Google, Google AI just hitting us right away. Yeah, germs are everywhere. Thanks, Google AI.
17:41 Brooke Averick? But not all bacteria is bad, which like.
17:45 Connor Wood? No, I know that.
17:45 Brooke Averick? But like that's, I can't, I don't do yogurt and shit like that. Cause that's just like, I can't, the idea of it being like bacteria.
17:52 Connor Wood? You don't eat yogurt?
17:53 Brooke Averick? Don't do yogurt.
17:57 Connor Wood? That's really crazy.
17:57 Brooke Averick? I don't like any of that like fermented stuff.
18:01 Connor Wood? Cheese.
18:02 Brooke Averick? I don't do cheese, except for if it's mozzarella, you know that.
18:06 Connor Wood? Except for if it's mozzarella?
18:07 Brooke Averick? Or cheddar and a tuna melt or like pizza and mac and cheese and stuff like that. And I'll do burrata. But like.
18:15 Brooke Averick? The other things, like I don't fuck with like a cheese board. Unless there's mozzarella and burrata on it.
18:22 Connor Wood? Or cheddar?
18:24 Brooke Averick? No, no, I don't do like a hard cheddar.
18:26 Connor Wood? You do do a hard cheddar. You love quesadilla.
18:29 Brooke Averick? Oh yeah, our quesadilla.
18:32 Brooke Averick? But it, you see what I mean? If it's like melted into another food, okay. But I'm not doing like a cheddar on its own. I'm not doing any cheese on its own unless it's mozzarella or burrata in like a caprese salad.
18:44 Connor Wood? I'll tell you one of my lowest points.
18:45 Brooke Averick? Or ricotta.
18:47 Connor Wood? While we're at it, any others? That's all the cheeses I know.
18:51 Brooke Averick? I like a sweeter like. But I'm not doing brie.
18:55 Connor Wood? Oh, I was gonna ask about a brie.
18:56 Brooke Averick? Yeah, uh-uh. But it used to be like, if there was like cheese, like or feta, like touching anything, I couldn't eat that thing. And now it's like, I could brush it off and be okay.
19:08 Connor Wood? Um, one of my lowest points in my recent life was right when I moved to LA. I remember, this is when I thought I was really depressed, but I just had mono.
19:18 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
19:19 Connor Wood? And I would do these like depression walks where I'd walk down to Whole Foods. I'd hit the pizza bar and then I would walk through like the neighborhoods with the kids and everyone outside. I was at a very low point at this time and I bought this piece of- What?
19:36 Brooke Averick? You're Nadir.
19:37 Connor Wood? I'm a Nadir. A lot of people would call this a Nadir recognition. It's so like now I see it 100%.
19:43 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
19:43 Connor Wood? Big Nadir vibes. Um, big Nadir energy. And I am in this neighborhood and I whip out my pizza. It's my first slice. I go, this is, this will fix me. Fix, fix me, fix me slice of pizza from Whole Foods. Take the first bite, vegan cheese.
20:04 Connor Wood? Vegan cheese. I, I-
20:06 Brooke Averick? That's dystopian.
20:06 Connor Wood? You know what? I'm gonna lay down under this tire and let them back up. This is just pointless.
20:10 Brooke Averick? That's the, that's one of the things that is just has not been mastered. Which is so weird because it's like vegan milk is good. Like I, I'm totally on board with almond and oat milk. Why can't we transfer that into cheese, the cheese process?
20:24 Connor Wood? They haven't figured out vegan cheese and it's, it's like, it is a bummer for me because like I also love all the cheeses that you like. I'm, I'd say I'm a little bit more open minded in terms of my, my, I love cheese.
20:37 Brooke Averick? Yeah, you're very cheese forward.
20:39 Connor Wood? I would eat a bag of shredded cheese with my hands like as a snack.
20:43 Brooke Averick? Yeah. I also like cheese sticks like that are the polio, polio ones. Polio, I guess.
20:49 Connor Wood? I don't think the brand is polio.
20:50 Brooke Averick? I, well, I just transferred it to polio where it's the cheddar and the white.
20:56 Connor Wood? Oh, brilliant.
20:57 Brooke Averick? Just like in summary, I do not, I do not do cheese unless it's ricotta, burrata, mozzarella, cheddar melted into things or the polio swirl cheese sticks.
21:09 Connor Wood? And I'm glad you got that off your chest because it's important to set boundaries.
21:12 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
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21:45 Speaker 01 Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at macys.com.
22:15 Connor Wood? Well, I will tell you a story.
22:20 Brooke Averick? Okay.
22:23 Connor Wood? Okay. So many things happened to me last week, actually. I just realized. So I told you I went to get that lymphatic drainage massage.
22:31 Brooke Averick? The one where she was stepping on you?
22:33 Connor Wood? No, this was different. Did I not tell you this?
22:35 Brooke Averick? No.
22:36 Connor Wood? Yeah, so I went in.
22:37 Brooke Averick? Yeah, you did. Only via Snapchat when you were wrapped in like a trash bag or something.
22:41 Connor Wood? So I go to get this lymphatic drainage massage. And I can't find the building. It ends up being, there's obviously, obviously, anything I booked, I guess it's gonna be, I'm gonna have like the scariest experience going into this place. I go in, it's like Severance. It feels like I'm in a Saw movie. These elevators are like industrial elevators that like, you'd put staff on to go in the back way. Like, it was just crazy. And I finally find this place. Totally seems fine inside. Obviously, no one speaks English. I am like, hey, I'm late, like, I couldn't find the place. She's like, saying something to me, and I like, got her vibe, like, I got her energy, but I did not know what she meant. I knew she said, "Take off your clothes."
23:27 Brooke Averick? Wait. What were you confused about?
23:31 Connor Wood? I will tell you what I was confused about. So she goes, take off your clothes. She hands me something and she goes, shorts. And it's like a little baggie this big and you undo it and it was like medical grade shorts, which were like elastic, but completely very show, like they were very showing of
23:50 Brooke Averick? Medical grade elastic shorts.
23:52 Connor Wood? They were made out of what a
23:54 Brooke Averick? Izzy, can you Google medical grade elastic shorts? So I can get like
23:57 Connor Wood? Medical grade elastic. It was made out of like when an N95 is made out of. It's like mesh, but not
24:04 Brooke Averick? Is this what you're talking about?
24:05 Connor Wood? Can you, can you zoom in on those? Yeah.
24:07 Brooke Averick? Okay, great.
24:08 Connor Wood? But, but like mine weren't flattering like that. Like they were like very, very tight. And then you could see my penis. I don't know how else to say like, you could see it. And then I was naked otherwise and she brings in this roll of plastic and she starts just wrapping me as tightly as possible.
24:29 Brooke Averick? Like so I'm wrapped?
24:30 Connor Wood? So I, and she goes, you're, you're gonna go, I like could kind of understand. She points at the sauna and I think she said 20 minutes, which was like an absurd, to me, that's an absurd amount of time. It's 153 degrees Fahrenheit.
24:40 Brooke Averick? Oh.
24:41 Connor Wood? And I get, I get in and I pull out my phone to take a Snapchat. Izzy, I'm gonna send this to you in real time too. It is one of the crazier things I've ever seen.
24:54 Brooke Averick? How do you bring your phone into the sauna?
24:56 Connor Wood? I just requested it because I needed someone to see. Okay, here it comes, y'all. Um, the outfit was, was
25:09 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
25:10 Connor Wood? Had the energy of going out in Vegas. She wrapped me so tight.
25:16 Brooke Averick? Kim Kardashian has worn that to an event.
25:18 Connor Wood? I mean, it's Balenci, it's a Balenciaga outfit.
25:20 Brooke Averick? It is Balenciaga.
25:22 Connor Wood? I had full-blown cleavage.
25:25 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
25:26 Connor Wood? It had my tits touching my chin.
25:30 Brooke Averick? Did she wrap that around you?
25:31 Connor Wood? It genuinely looked like I needed to be a girl's girl Kylie Jenner style and tell them to put 150 cc's below the muscle. Look at, look at my boobs.
25:43 Brooke Averick? Did she wrap that around you or did you do it yourself?
25:45 Connor Wood? Wrapped it around me so tight. And I also brought my phone because I thought, just look at that screenshot.
25:52 Brooke Averick? What is that? Is that an A-line? What is that type of cut called? Like a square cut? That's like my sweater right now. It's very in.
26:02 Connor Wood? Well, it was, the arms were not connected to the, obviously, it wasn't, I didn't slip this on. She did my arms first and then she did my torso.
26:10 Brooke Averick? That is cleavage.
26:11 Connor Wood? Holy friggin' air ball.
26:12 Brooke Averick? Holy friggin' air ball.
26:13 Connor Wood? We are going out tonight.
26:14 Brooke Averick? And you're doing the mesh shorts with this top?
26:17 Connor Wood? Yeah, we're taking shots like at the, at the bar. Get up, we're going to hide.
26:25 Brooke Averick? Wow. I wish you had done like a full mirror selfie in this fit.
26:29 Connor Wood? There were, I couldn't because she was just staring at me. While I was in the sauna and I, it was just like, oh, it was one of the funniest things. Oh yeah, here Izzy can, Izzy can make it, make it and fake it. Right here.
26:41 Brooke Averick? Ooh, very hot.
26:45 Brooke Averick? Well, how was the massage?
26:47 Connor Wood? Um, okay, yeah, so that's next. Like it's not lymphatic drainage massages on your body. Obviously they want to hit your nodes. So they can
26:59 Connor Wood? like drain your nodes. And so she's doing my stomach.
27:04 Brooke Averick? You have nodes in your stomach?
27:06 Connor Wood? Yeah, she's doing like my, my abdomen. And she was really going hard and it's not like a super pleasant experience, but you do look, you look pretty tight after. And, uh, I got a hernia. I'll just tell you that. She hit some node and it's bruised. And it is a hernia. I'm going to the doctor right when we finish recording.
27:28 Brooke Averick? I don't think you can get a hernia from someone activating your node.
27:32 Connor Wood? I think I had a hernia and she rubbed it so hard that it, it became irritated.
27:37 Brooke Averick? Can we see it?
27:39 Connor Wood? No. Thank you, though.
27:41 Brooke Averick? Can you? Is it visible, though?
27:43 Connor Wood? Yeah, it's bruised, but like, it's not like swelling out of my stomach or anything.
27:48 Brooke Averick? You need a doctor in residence in your apartment.
27:51 Connor Wood? Well, it's just, like, I was just about to say, it's one of the crazier things to be at an age where, one, like, a hangover from three-
28:00 Brooke Averick? Back's going out. You have a hernia, like-
28:02 Connor Wood? I can't drink anymore, but I get a hangover for three days. Yeah, it's like, I'm, I need to be, like, winding down my life, right now.
28:14 Brooke Averick? I had, um, two Ciders the other night, the night before my birthday, and I don't, like, and I feel like, uh, Ciders are usually, like, low alcohol content, right? As far as I'm concerned, like Angry Orchard.
28:32 Connor Wood? It's like a beer, yeah, it's like four or five percent.
28:34 Brooke Averick? I was on my ass, had to go, like, take myself home from the Ciders. I was hungover for my entire birthday from two Ciders. I had to get myself, I went into a Waymo. Have you been in a Waymo yet?
28:49 Connor Wood? Not yet.
28:51 Brooke Averick? They said at the beginning to me, they were like, "You can sing at the top of your lungs." We, like, this is not recorded. I had the time of my frickin' life, holy air ball.
28:59 Connor Wood? Well, they, they tell you that you can sing at the top of your lungs?
29:02 Brooke Averick? Yeah, that's what we had discussed. And she put on Hamilton for me.
29:07 Connor Wood? Wait, is it, is it a robot?
29:10 Brooke Averick? Waymos are self-driving.
29:12 Connor Wood? Yeah, but is, is there a person on the phone telling-
29:14 Brooke Averick? There is an automated young woman in the system.
29:17 Connor Wood? And she said, "Hi, Brooke, you can sing as loud as you want."
29:21 Brooke Averick? 150%.
29:22 Connor Wood? Whoa.
29:24 Brooke Averick? That's what we had discussed.
29:25 Connor Wood? Wait, you don't think that, I feel like Waymo should be recorded.
29:28 Brooke Averick? I think they're recorded at the beginning, like, when you hop in and when you hop out, but not, like, throughout the duration of the ride unless you request some sort of-
29:36 Connor Wood? You could be, like, peeing and the cars are, like, like, making love.
29:41 Brooke Averick? I mean, you could theoretically be making love in an Uber. Like, I feel like people do do that with, like, their drivers, and it's just, like-
29:50 Connor Wood? Do you know someone that's made love to their driver while in an Uber?
29:53 Brooke Averick? No, not with their driver.
29:54 Connor Wood? Oh.
29:55 Brooke Averick? But, like, in the back, like, people are always, like, hooking up in the back of Ubers, no? Maybe not to completion.
30:01 Connor Wood? I didn't, I've, I have not come, that's not come across my desk. There was a Lyft driver I had in Austin. And he was telling me about how there was a couple in his backseat who wanted to hook up with him, both of them. Or it was maybe like a cuck situation. And she did take, take his hand on a wild ride in the backseat, I guess.
30:27 Brooke Averick? Were you like, yeah, he's telling me the truth or like he's, there's no way?
30:32 Connor Wood? He looked like Peter Pedigree. So it's like impossible to say if he was telling-
30:35 Brooke Averick? Peter Pedigree?
30:36 Connor Wood? Pedigree.
30:37 Brooke Averick? Like the rat from Harry Potter?
30:39 Connor Wood? Yeah, the rat man, yeah.
30:40 Brooke Averick? Okay.
30:41 Connor Wood? It was a striking resemblance. They could be cousins.
30:44 Brooke Averick? I know, I know Peter Pedigree.
30:47 Connor Wood? I know.
30:48 Brooke Averick? And he works at one of my favorite restaurants, which is challenging.
30:54 Connor Wood? I mean, you, yeah, you know how I feel about sometimes the staff, like my dead tooth waitress that I just got up and I said, I'm so sorry, I'm getting a call, I have to leave. I'm sorry, if you come over to the table and your dead tooth begins to bleed, I do need to find another seat.
31:11 Brooke Averick? And I think that's fine.
31:13 Connor Wood? Walking me through the specials, just dumping blood out of your, you're right, canine. I gotta go, I'm sorry.
31:21 Brooke Averick? That's fine to say.
31:22 Connor Wood? Why your tooth brown?
31:23 Brooke Averick? Yeah. Why your tooth bleed?
31:26 Connor Wood? Why your tooth bleed here and now?
31:28 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
31:28 Connor Wood? Yeah, but that driver, I do think was telling the truth because it was just like too detailed for him not to have it.
31:35 Brooke Averick? You know, that's what makes a good fiction writer is having like too much detail that you have to believe it. That's what I've learned.
31:40 Connor Wood? I mean, yeah.
31:42 Brooke Averick? As I read and study the written word.
31:46 Connor Wood? I mean, yeah, I, I, I do want to know, just back to drivers, like I want to know, I, I, I am, I've had the more, the most unique experiences of my life in cars with people, drivers.
32:01 Brooke Averick? Cause you're open. You have an energy about you that's like, bring it on. You walk, you get in the car and you're immediately like, hi, like very friendly.
32:11 Brooke Averick? Open body language, that's you.
32:13 Connor Wood? Yeah.
32:13 Brooke Averick? Receive that and they say, I'm gonna give him what he's asking for.
32:18 Connor Wood? Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me.
32:20 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
32:20 Connor Wood? Yeah, and I, I, I hate that about me.
32:24 Brooke Averick? Yeah, I got it.
32:26 Connor Wood? I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be that person anymore.
32:29 Brooke Averick? And I'm never wanna be like, oh, like you asked for it. That's not a thing that you can say. But you.
32:38 Brooke Averick? Period.
32:39 Connor Wood? Yeah.
32:40 Brooke Averick? Holy frickin' air ball.
32:42 Connor Wood? I got really nervous because the first night I came home, I from, uh, North Carolina. I.
32:50 Connor Wood? Like slept on my couch because I haven't put my. Sheets back on my bed, which I'm gonna do today. I'm gonna lock in. I'm gonna lock in and get the sheets on my bed. But. I slept on the couch and I freaked out in the middle of the night. Because I kept smelling gas.
33:09 Connor Wood? So I got getting up to check. Is my oven, like is my oven on, like is. Is there gas in radiators, like is it from the street? Couldn't figure it out. I was sleeping on a lighter.
33:20 Brooke Averick? You were activating the lighter?
33:22 Connor Wood? Yeah.
33:22 Brooke Averick? I can't even do that when I'm trying.
33:24 Connor Wood? I know. Yeah, fully sleeping on a lighter.
33:27 Brooke Averick? Like one of the BIC ones or when you're like, how were you activating that with your body?
33:31 Connor Wood? I have no clue. But I like moved a certain way and I was like, ugh. Like, is that my, is that my hernia or are you just excited to see me?
33:40 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
33:40 Connor Wood? And it was the lighter.
33:43 Brooke Averick? Interesting, Connor.
33:44 Connor Wood? Yeah, it really is interesting. My life is crazy.
33:47 Brooke Averick? Um, I saw you put something in the notes that I really related to. Because this is, had actually happened to me this weekend. When you said in quotes, you're not gonna like that one, end quote. What's a nice way to tell someone to change what they're doing in a photo?
34:07 Connor Wood? Yeah, because I, we were doing a meet and greet in,
34:15 Connor Wood? who was that?
34:17 Connor Wood? In North Carolina, and there was a woman that was taking the photos of everyone. And she goes, "Oh, you're not gonna like that one, honey." And I was like, "That's like a really good way to put it." Instead of being like, "Hey, sit up straight." Or would you rather have someone be like, "Hey, sit up, like suck in."
34:34 Brooke Averick? No, I think that's a good way to put it. Until, "Let me raise you this," and this is what happened to me. Someone said to me, "You're not gonna like this one." Handed it to me. I thought I looked good.
34:47 Connor Wood? Oh.
34:48 Brooke Averick? So that's when it gets sticky.
34:50 Connor Wood? Okay, I always know, I'm always trying new stuff. I tried, I tried the soft smile for a little bit. And then I got like three photos back in a, in a row that were just like,
35:02 Connor Wood? "What in the [__] like, why are you trying to soft smile when you have no lips?" Like, there's just nothing-
35:09 Brooke Averick? We've seen this a few times with you trying to soft smile. You have great teeth, show 'em.
35:13 Connor Wood? I know, but I, you know, you wanna get to a point where you're like, "Oh, this is nothing new to me. I'm soft smiling here," you know?
35:19 Brooke Averick? I think you, if you wanna do closed mouth, you can't smile. You have to do more of, not that, but like a smirk. No, not that either. Practice in front of the mirror later. Like, I do something, you can do like full, like, ear to ear.
35:36 Connor Wood? Do you like that?
35:37 Brooke Averick? That could be hot.
35:40 Connor Wood? How's your, um, speaking of hot, how's, how's it going on Hinge? Did you, you re-download yet?
35:45 Brooke Averick? Uh, I don't participate.
35:50 Connor Wood? You're out?
35:50 Brooke Averick? So, I don't know if you remember that I have been waiting for someone specific to match me back?
35:55 Connor Wood? Yeah.
35:56 Brooke Averick? So, yeah, I said, "I've, I am giving him the year." So I don't do Hinge unless I'm checking it 18 times a day to see if he's had a change of heart.
36:05 Brooke Averick? So that's really all I'm doing is just waiting for the one.
36:07 Connor Wood? You know what sucks is he probably isn't even on.
36:12 Brooke Averick? So what we had discussed earlier is that he is constantly having that active now status. Whenever I delete my account and then find him again.
36:21 Connor Wood? Yeah.
36:22 Brooke Averick? So that's the only thing that's the, that's the kicker. Is the active now status, but there is the, when I never get him again, cause like a lot of people, when I like them. Um, and then they know me, they go back into my algorithm.
36:39 Connor Wood? What do you mean?
36:40 Brooke Averick? Like if I like someone and they're like, no, I'm not into her, they'll press X and then I can get them again. Cause I'm like back in the, in the pool, but I never get him again, which makes me believe that I'm just like sitting in his likes, like he's not interested, but he's not X-ing. Does that make sense?
37:01 Connor Wood? Yeah.
37:01 Brooke Averick? Cause I don't like, I just have all my likes kind of like sitting there.
37:06 Connor Wood? Yeah.
37:07 Brooke Averick? I don't go through them.
37:08 Connor Wood? I think, I really think that something will happen there, cause I think you're manifesting it.
37:10 Brooke Averick? With the specific young man?
37:12 Connor Wood? Yeah. Yeah, I think you're manifesting it in a big way.
37:17 Brooke Averick? Yep. So just checking on that 18 times a day and otherwise I'm not swiping.
37:24 Connor Wood? Yeah, felt. Um, I have some stuff to, I wanna, I wanna tell you about. One, our buddy Hank opened a restaurant in New York City.
37:32 Brooke Averick? I saw that.
37:34 Connor Wood? It is just like full blown in West Village. It is a full blown operational restaurant. He has people coming in and out. The food is obviously it's to die for.
37:47 Brooke Averick? And it's called Salt Hanks?
37:48 Connor Wood? Salt Hanks.
37:50 Brooke Averick? And it's sandwiches.
37:51 Connor Wood? It's sandwiches.
37:55 Brooke Averick? Wow. I can't believe like a peer of ours has their own restaurant.
37:59 Connor Wood? It was so special too.
38:01 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
38:01 Connor Wood? You know, it was just like, everyone I know that lives here is there and he's opening a restaurant, like he's a restaurant owner in New York City.
38:10 Brooke Averick? So is he actively cooking the food?
38:14 Connor Wood? He will go back there, but he did, he does have a chef for this restaurant that he trained.
38:18 Brooke Averick? Wow. I'm excited to go.
38:21 Connor Wood? I know. I mean, you're gonna, you're gonna die. The sandwiches show.
38:24 Brooke Averick? My mouth is watering looking at, at the bread.
38:27 Connor Wood? It's French dip. It's, yeah, obviously, that's one of the, just regardless, that's one of the best sandwiches ever, but it's Hank's. So you know that shit's good.
38:36 Brooke Averick? I've never had Hank's cooking.
38:39 Connor Wood? What?
38:43 Connor Wood? No, it's actually, it's pretty unbelievable.
38:44 Brooke Averick? I always said to the two of you when you lived together, "Hey, y'all, invite me over sometime." Never made it work. That looks good.
38:52 Connor Wood? Yeah, right now, it's just the French dip.
38:54 Brooke Averick? Wait, what is that?
38:56 Connor Wood? The French dip.
38:57 Brooke Averick? No, that brown stuff.
38:59 Connor Wood? Uh, onions.
39:00 Brooke Averick? Wow.
39:01 Connor Wood? Sauteed.
39:01 Brooke Averick? I love onions.
39:03 Connor Wood? I mean, they're so unbelievably good.
39:05 Brooke Averick? I like a piece of plain pizza with just raw onions on it.
39:10 Brooke Averick? What does that elicit in you?
39:12 Connor Wood? You're a real big freak.
39:14 Brooke Averick? Ooh, that looks good.
39:18 Brooke Averick? Are those crunchies?
39:20 Connor Wood? There's shoestring french fries as well that you put on for crunch.
39:23 Brooke Averick? My
39:26 Brooke Averick? God.
39:27 Connor Wood? There's something about a sandwich that like, if I, when I had to eat that in front-
39:31 Brooke Averick? No one's doing it like that.
39:32 Connor Wood? When I had to eat a sandwich like that in front of people, it's really hard because you have to like unhinge your jaw because it's so big.
39:39 Brooke Averick? This is a restaurant that should have solo dining, like pods. So you eat like isolated.
39:45 Connor Wood? I'm big on solo dining, or maybe like the manila folders that you put up around your tests in high school so that people didn't cheat off of you. Like, if you could do that, just for my bites.
39:56 Brooke Averick? Dividers?
39:57 Connor Wood? Dividers.
39:58 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
39:59 Connor Wood? I think if you could-
39:59 Brooke Averick? This restaurant should come with dividers.
40:01 Connor Wood? I think restaurants should have dividers, yeah.
40:03 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
40:03 Connor Wood? That's a sandwich that you're, you do not go to Salt and Hank's on your first date. I'll say that.
40:08 Brooke Averick? I'll say that much, yeah. You should tell, you should pitch the idea of dividers.
40:12 Connor Wood? I might, because it's, I fully, we were at a, we were at this like launch event with all these people and I was like, I can't, like I was Squidward with the Krabby Patty trying to take that little tiny bite before I fell in love and it, you know, it goes all your, it all goes to your hips, by the way.
40:28 Brooke Averick? That looks-
40:28 Connor Wood? That's like one of the-
40:29 Brooke Averick? So good.
40:30 Connor Wood? You gotta come back and try it.
40:32 Brooke Averick? Yeah, I do.
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41:36 Connor Wood? That's why the concept of it all going straight to your hips is so crazy because when I gain weight, it just happens only in my face.
41:44 Brooke Averick? Really? I'm so jealous.
41:46 Connor Wood? What does it mean going to your hips? Like?
41:48 Brooke Averick? It means that your weight goes to your hips.
41:51 Connor Wood? What, like your, like your ass? That'd be great.
41:55 Brooke Averick? No, your hips.
41:57 Connor Wood? Your, like on the side of you?
41:58 Brooke Averick? Yeah, that where your hips are.
42:00 Connor Wood? You gain weight in the side of you?
42:02 Brooke Averick? Yeah, in your hips.
42:04 Connor Wood? In your hips? So below your waist?
42:06 Brooke Averick? So when it goes to your hips, that would, that's like you gain weight in your hips.
42:10 Connor Wood? Like how is that? Does that happen to people?
42:14 Brooke Averick? Yep, some people gain weight in their hips.
42:16 Connor Wood? Wow, I'm jealous. That'd be great.
42:19 Brooke Averick? Connor, it's not.
42:20 Connor Wood? I like, I'd rather have it in my hips than my face.
42:22 Brooke Averick? No, you think that.
42:24 Connor Wood? I don't want, I don't want weight in my face.
42:25 Brooke Averick? I gain weight in my hips and it like makes my body really, really like disproportionate.
42:30 Connor Wood? I wonder how it would look on a guy like me to gain weight in my hips.
42:32 Brooke Averick? I wonder.
42:34 Connor Wood? We'll never, we'll truly never know because it's all, it's all happening in my face right now.
42:38 Brooke Averick? It's happening in the facial region. I saw Materialist last night.
42:42 Connor Wood? It's horrible.
42:44 Brooke Averick? Did you see it?
42:45 Connor Wood? Yeah.
42:46 Brooke Averick? I did not think it was that bad.
42:49 Connor Wood? I lied, I didn't see it.
42:50 Brooke Averick? I didn't think you did.
42:53 Connor Wood? I don't know why I've decided to lie right there.
42:54 Brooke Averick? Everyone is hating on it so much. And if you don't know, this is the movie with Dakota Johnson and Chris Evans and Pedro Pascal. Um, the problem is that it's being marketed as like this new, like rom coms are back. And it's not like a rom com in the sense that in the traditional sense, like at all. It's more of like a romantic drama with a few comedic elements. Um, so I think the marketing is really the issue there. It was not horrible. It was definitely entertaining. I love Dakota Johnson. I actually didn't feel anything for Pedro and Chris before this, like they were not really on my radar.
43:37 Brooke Averick? I definitely care for both of them. Now I think they're great guys.
43:40 Connor Wood? Dakota?
43:42 Brooke Averick? Yeah, I love Dakota. I've always loved Dakota.
43:44 Connor Wood? Okay.
43:45 Brooke Averick? The thing about Dakota is she's always gonna be waking up in a millionaire's penthouse, looking fresh faced in a shirt that she's completely drowning to the gods in. She's also always gonna be running her finger over someone's scars. Very, very niche Dakota Johnson role.
44:04 Connor Wood? She would love my gash.
44:06 Brooke Averick? You holy friggin' airball, she would. Once that heals up.
44:11 Connor Wood? I don't know. I feel like she would maybe do it raw.
44:13 Brooke Averick? She like, okay. But yeah, it really like was not horrible. It was definitely trying to do too much. Like it was trying to do like too many genres at once, which I feel like only like few things can pull off.
44:26 Connor Wood? I mean.
44:26 Brooke Averick? I think it should have either stuck to like romantic comedy or drama or just being like a story about her. It was doing too much.
44:35 Connor Wood? She needs, she could fill that role of hmm, maybe. I just, I think it's a huge claim to be like rom coms are back when they're not. And you and I obviously have like a lot to say about rom coms. And I keep them, I hold them very closely to my heart. Cause it's like there was obviously, we lived through one of the greatest rom com periods that will probably ever exist. I would say it's 2006 to 2012.
45:03 Brooke Averick? How lucky were we?
45:04 Connor Wood? How lucky were we? And we had no idea. And guess what? Those. They don't, they're timeless.
45:11 Brooke Averick? Crazy Stupid Love was the last good one. When was that?
45:16 Connor Wood? That was 2012, I think. 2011?
45:20 Connor Wood? There's some outliers, by the way, too.
45:22 Brooke Averick? Who?
45:23 Connor Wood? 2011.
45:24 Brooke Averick? What are the outliers?
45:26 Connor Wood? There's some random ones that like fall way out that I'm like, okay.
45:31 Connor Wood? That, that is a classic, but it does, it skews the results a lot.
45:37 Brooke Averick? I'm curious what like the most recent, the last good rom com was.
45:42 Connor Wood? They're gonna, like, if we typed that in on Google, it's gonna be like, Anyone But You.
45:46 Brooke Averick? Oh, always be my maybe. About Time is not a rom com.
45:51 Connor Wood? Yeah, I do think that they get confused about, in the same way that they put like the under, under 30 minute episodes of like a series, they put those in the comedy section for some reason.
46:01 Brooke Averick? Easy A. When was Easy A?
46:07 Connor Wood? Easy A was good, but I feel like Easy A also falls into this like-
46:10 Brooke Averick? 2010, less rom.
46:12 Connor Wood? Mm-hmm.
46:13 Brooke Averick? More calm. Yeah, that's very true. But I would, I honestly think it's worth seeing.
46:21 Connor Wood? Hmm, okay.
46:21 Brooke Averick? Also, the theater I was in, the crowd was like LOLing a lot, so that obviously helps, like the theater ambiance. And there was this one scene where like Pedro Pascal is like, being a good guy, essentially. And it's just like, you have worth, Dakota Johnson, like you're valuable. This woman in the theater let out a moan.
46:47 Connor Wood? No.
46:47 Brooke Averick? Like it wasn't, she wasn't trying to be funny, like it was truly an older woman who just unleashed-
46:54 Connor Wood? No.
46:55 Brooke Averick? At just the very sound of Pedro Pascal being like a good guy.
47:01 Connor Wood? No.
47:01 Brooke Averick? A moan of ecstasy. Everyone in the theater in response to that lost it. Cause she was really just like a woman.
47:10 Connor Wood? A woman in heat.
47:11 Brooke Averick? She was completely in frickin' heat.
47:15 Connor Wood? Holy. Wow.
47:18 Brooke Averick? I know you're trying not to say holy frickin' airball.
47:20 Connor Wood? I get stuck in my head now. Holy frickin' airball. That like, like, let's get this girl. Let's get this girl to bed.
47:32 Brooke Averick? I was just like, I see my future and it is not necessarily bright. I just do see it.
47:38 Connor Wood? It is wet.
47:39 Brooke Averick? It's there. It's there.
47:42 Connor Wood? Oh my gosh. She's gonna have a wild whammy home.
47:45 Brooke Averick? Sure is.
47:48 Brooke Averick? But.
47:49 Connor Wood? Um, try to, try to do the moan that she did.
47:52 Brooke Averick? I can't, I'm not gonna do it because it's like not appropriate.
47:57 Brooke Averick? It was like, it was, it was from her soul. It was from her core.
48:04 Connor Wood? Oh, I should let out a guttural moan in public is really like, I needed this.
48:08 Brooke Averick? Also, the only reason I was going to the movies last night is because I needed peanut M and M's.
48:13 Connor Wood? Yeah.
48:14 Brooke Averick? That's my go-to movie snack. I feel like if I had to guess, it's most people's go-to movie snack.
48:20 Brooke Averick? No? In terms of the chocolate?
48:22 Connor Wood? Oh, I can wrap my head around it. Mine is Red Vines.
48:25 Brooke Averick? That's not, yeah, that's not typical, I don't think.
48:27 Connor Wood? Licorice, Swedish Fish, or I'm going popcorn and Diet Coke. Thanks. See ya.
48:33 Brooke Averick? I feel like popcorn, like peanut M and M's. Anyway, this is the second time I've gotten to the movies and there have not been any peanut M and M's. And that's the only one that's really missing, which makes me think that it is the one in highest demand. So I go up to the counter, I'm like, hey, do you have any peanut M and M's back there?
48:52 Brooke Averick? And they say, no, we usually run out of those, like by like nighttime movies. And it's like, okay, then like then that means you need to get more.
49:01 Connor Wood? It's time to start thinking in advance.
49:02 Brooke Averick? And also, most people go to the movies at night. So like, that's when you should have the peanut M and M's.
49:07 Connor Wood? Yeah.
49:08 Brooke Averick? Anyway, I had, I did something I'm not proud of. And I was like, if, when I was in the movie theater, I realized when I was doing this thing, that if somebody else was doing it, it's something that I would have spoken about on the podcast. So I was thinking like, oh, I just realized like if this girl next to me has a podcast, she's gonna be speaking about my behavior. Tomorrow.
49:31 Brooke Averick? And what I did was, it wasn't like I just needed something sweet and I had
49:38 Brooke Averick? a packet of Smucker's jelly in my purse.
49:41 Connor Wood? Of what?
49:42 Brooke Averick? Smucker's jelly.
49:44 Connor Wood? Oh, Brooke.
49:48 Connor Wood? Oh.
49:49 Brooke Averick? Needed something sweet.
49:53 Connor Wood? Oh, man.
49:54 Brooke Averick? Not good, but like it was something that if I saw someone, and I wasn't thinking much about it.
49:58 Connor Wood? What did you do? I mean, tell I
50:00 Brooke Averick? I just had, I ate it.
50:01 Connor Wood? With your finger?
50:03 Brooke Averick? No.
50:04 Connor Wood? Oh, don't act like it was ridiculous for me to assume you ate it off your finger.
50:08 Brooke Averick? No, what?
50:10 Connor Wood? Where did, how would you, what, what, what vehicle did you use to get that?
50:14 Brooke Averick? Slurped it.
50:15 Connor Wood? Out with your tongue, Brooke?
50:18 Brooke Averick? No, with like my lips.
50:24 Connor Wood? Is it a jar? Was it a jar?
50:26 Brooke Averick? No, it was like.
50:29 Connor Wood? Oh, like a little packet?
50:30 Brooke Averick? Yeah, a packet.
50:31 Connor Wood? Oh.
50:32 Brooke Averick? It was like, kind of like an oyster, like, how you eat an oyster? I was a shooter. It was no big deal.
50:38 Connor Wood? No, that's like a
50:39 Brooke Averick? It was no big deal. I needed something sweet, but if I was thinking like, oh, if the girl next to me is a podcast, she'll probably be like, oh, the girl next to me was shooting Smucker's.
50:46 Connor Wood? I mean, if, if, if there was someone next to you that saw you eating jelly, and then this, this lady's fingering herself, I'd be like, I had the most insane movie theater experience of my life. Last night.
51:00 Brooke Averick? I mean, everyone in that theater was on their own journey. That's what I'll say.
51:04 Connor Wood? Everyone had their own path.
51:05 Brooke Averick? You're not gonna give me P and M and M's. I'm gonna have to take drastic measures if I have a little bit of something to take the edge off in my fanny pack. I'm gonna shoot it up.
51:13 Connor Wood? My god.
51:15 Brooke Averick? I love jelly.
51:18 Connor Wood? Yeah, I like, I like preserves more now. I like a little crunch. It's crazy that I, I was born in a place of no pulp. If I had pulp, I'd be, I would physically like gag.
51:29 Brooke Averick? I always liked pulp.
51:30 Connor Wood? I love pulp. I love like, in preserves when there's like seeds and shit and like jelly. Get loaded up. Give me some fiber.
51:38 Brooke Averick? That is the definition of oomph.
51:41 Connor Wood? Oomph?
51:42 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
51:43 Connor Wood? Whoa, Brooke, you just sent me to a dark place.
51:46 Brooke Averick? What do you mean?
51:47 Connor Wood? Oomph. That's like.
51:50 Connor Wood? OG texting. Oomph.
51:54 Brooke Averick? No, that's one of my followers.
51:56 Connor Wood? Oh, I was thinking like U N F, like oof, like what that, the sound that lady made.
52:00 Brooke Averick? Like O O M P H, right?
52:02 Connor Wood? Oomph.
52:04 Brooke Averick? Or is it U M P H? It might be U M P H, like a little bit of oomph, like a je ne sais quoi.
52:11 Connor Wood? A little bit of oomph.
52:14 Connor Wood? I don't know that one.
52:17 Brooke Averick? Okay, yeah, O O M F is one of my followers or friends.
52:21 Connor Wood? But you're saying like-
52:22 Brooke Averick? How about U M P H?
52:23 Connor Wood? You're saying like that shit'll make your pussy throb, right?
52:25 Brooke Averick? That's exactly what I'm saying.
52:27 Connor Wood? Yeah. I know, I got you.
52:30 Brooke Averick? Yeah, O O M, O O M P H, the quality of being exciting, energetic, or sexually attractive.
52:38 Connor Wood? Yeah.
52:39 Brooke Averick? Quite. Well, how about, what's U M P H?
52:46 Brooke Averick? Same thing. So maybe I'm just thinking of je ne sais quoi.
52:56 Connor Wood? Ooh, I don't like that.
52:59 Brooke Averick? Uh.
53:03 Brooke Averick? I, I don't know what I'm talking about.
53:06 Connor Wood? Well, we, we got close enough with that.
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54:12 Connor Wood? You want to hear something crazy that happened at my show?
54:14 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
54:16 Connor Wood? While we were in the green room? So obviously, like I told you last week, like I just had anxiety about, obviously, the US going to war and things and all of that stuff happening and like being in New-
54:28 Brooke Averick? That's really valid, yeah.
54:30 Connor Wood? Being in New York too, I was just like freaked out. So I was like really excited to go to Charlotte and just because I figured Charlotte's like probably like a safe bet. Did you know that like Iran like tweeted about Charlotte, North Carolina like while I was there?
54:44 Brooke Averick? No.
54:45 Connor Wood? Like by name?
54:47 Brooke Averick? No, I didn't know. Also, it's just like so Black Mirror to be like, did you see Iran tweeted? Like, just like, imagine like World War II, like the countries being able to just tweet at each other. Like the Axis Powers like tweeting the Allies and just being like, heads up.
55:05 Connor Wood? It's not even subtweet, like they're not like subtweeting each other. They're not being passive aggressive. They're like-
55:10 Brooke Averick? They're communicating.
55:11 Connor Wood? Charlotte, North Carolina.
55:14 Connor Wood? What do you mean by that?
55:15 Brooke Averick? It's so fucked. Anyway!
55:17 Connor Wood? Well, I have, I have like a fun evening planned.
55:21 Brooke Averick? Oh, tell me.
55:22 Connor Wood? I'm going to walk with some friends and we're gonna drink a can.
55:25 Brooke Averick? Ooh, where will you walk?
55:27 Connor Wood? We walk over to Little Italy because all the Italian people like are so nice and like friendly and come out and talk to you and stuff. So I want you to go in their restaurant.
55:37 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
55:37 Connor Wood? And it's just like a really fun time.
55:39 Brooke Averick? Do you think you'll have Italian food?
55:41 Connor Wood? Maybe, Brooke. I might.
55:44 Brooke Averick? That's so good.
55:46 Connor Wood? I just like, I'm in a place right now. I'm done with tour. I can finally start like curating what I eat in a bigger way than what I've been doing. And I don't know if Italian food fits into my plan for that.
56:02 Brooke Averick? Okay, you'll let us know.
56:04 Connor Wood? Yeah, I'll keep everyone a breast. Like my tits in that sauna, I will keep you a breast.
56:11 Brooke Averick? You know sushi fumi?
56:13 Connor Wood? Yeah.
56:14 Brooke Averick? This is my favorite restaurant in LA. For those of you that don't know, it's sushi and it is so good that people start lining up at 5:30 when it opens.
56:24 Brooke Averick? And if you're not like in line for the 5:30 rush, like you'll have to be put on the waitlist and you can wait for, it could be hours. So I'm always getting there at 5:10. Okay? And if your whole party is not there, you cannot be seated. And then you're pushed into the pool of people who need to wait hours. Okay? I'm starting to lose friends over my behavior. In regards to the sushi fumi line, if I have friends that are like gonna meet me there and they're late, it's like, hey, by the way, like I can't save you a seat, like you can't join me for dinner if you're not here by the time the door is open. Like I'm not waiting. I got here at the appropriate time.
57:08 Brooke Averick? If you weren't able to do so, like I'll see you tomorrow.
57:14 Brooke Averick? What do you think about that?
57:16 Connor Wood? Valid.
57:17 Brooke Averick? Do you think valid? Like it's really like we went, a few of us went for my birthday and I was like, hey y'all, like I'm getting there at 5:10. Our whole party will need to be there. We can't be seated. By 5:30 and there were a few people that were like, I'll be there at 5:35 and I was just like, I'll, it's not gonna happen for you today, champ. Like you will not be able to join us for dinner.
57:39 Connor Wood? Yeah, it's also hard because you guys have to drive. Me in New York for one month. Yeah, it must be hard for you guys because you have to drive.
57:46 Brooke Averick? The hardest part, what's really hard is that like you get up, you're in line. It's 5:30, you get up, they say, how many? You say five, but there's four of us here right now. One's parking. Not, mm-mm. That one parking? Go home. It's just gonna be four of us tonight.
58:05 Brooke Averick? They are running a tight ship and they have to.
58:09 Connor Wood? It's a small restaurant.
58:10 Brooke Averick? It's a teeny tiny restaurant, 40 people occupancy, I think.
58:14 Connor Wood? Yeah.
58:15 Brooke Averick? But yeah, I'm anyway, I'm starting to lose friends.
58:19 Connor Wood? Valid. You gotta cut people out of your life that no longer serve you.
58:23 Brooke Averick? Literally.
58:24 Connor Wood? Did you see the let them thing? Like I missed that whole section on, on, online where people were talking about like Mel Robbins let them.
58:31 Brooke Averick? You are the one that's taught me about that.
58:34 Connor Wood? Oh, I didn't hear any, I think I've spread misinformation. I don't know what she, what she meant. I've made up my own.
58:39 Brooke Averick? Well, you were teaching me about her, just like getting up and not having coffee and making your bed.
58:44 Connor Wood? Yeah. You know what's so funny about me now? Now I've, I've been informed that she's not a doctor and she's not licensed in anything.
58:50 Brooke Averick? Yes, that's what I heard.
58:52 Connor Wood? I don't like.
58:55 Connor Wood? I need, I need people, I need people to have.
59:00 Connor Wood? Like some sort of like license to tell me what to do.
59:04 Brooke Averick? But I'm curious, like, I don't know anything about her, like.
59:08 Brooke Averick? Was she saying that she's a doctor? Was she false advertising? So then is it fine just to be like, hey, here's how I operate? Like it might help you?
59:17 Connor Wood? Yeah, I guess you're not a doctor. Straight up, you could just be a motivational speaker. Maybe I'll look into it.
59:21 Brooke Averick? That's what it is.
59:22 Connor Wood? Yeah. Which like I'm, I'm, I love self-help stuff. I told you that a hundred times.
59:27 Brooke Averick? I know that.
59:28 Connor Wood? I, I, I love a little bit of like, what's my flavor of, what's my new obsession for the week in terms of like, things that I do right now obsessively and then I'm going to stop doing them.
59:37 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
59:38 Connor Wood? Down the road. I'm living in a constant state of just sweat right now. It is so hot in New York City. It's like a hundred degrees outside right now and my AC can't keep up. And one of the reasons I was so excited to move into a place with air conditioning was because my last place didn't have that.
59:56 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
59:56 Connor Wood? And I had that summer of just like utter dismay. Just like, there's no way this is, I couldn't sit on my couch last summer because it was like, I'm sweating, sweating through my back.
1:00:07 Brooke Averick? Right.
1:00:08 Connor Wood? Into my couch and it's, it's gross. And I said, never again.
1:00:11 Brooke Averick? Get the N95 shorts for days like those.
1:00:16 Connor Wood? No, those, those, those stayed at my lymphatic drainage masseuse's house.
1:00:22 Connor Wood? I don't think I'm gonna do any more of those, except people were leaving comments the last time I got, I got one, I got it on my face and they're like Connor's looking really good.
1:00:31 Brooke Averick? Oh.
1:00:32 Connor Wood? And I said, you can attribute that to the lymphatic drain issues Connor has been, been eating and drinking his, to his heart's content.
1:00:39 Brooke Averick? I do notice like if I use a like face tool or like dip my face in ice, like I look better objectively.
1:00:47 Connor Wood? Yeah. Oh my God, that, I just got this thing. Um, it's a, it's a like face sized, uh, like little pool and you put ice and water in it and then you dunk and there's a snorkel.
1:00:59 Brooke Averick? Send me the link.
1:01:00 Connor Wood? I'm gonna send you the link. There's a little snorkel and you, you can just have your face underwater the whole time and be breathing through the snorkel.
1:01:08 Brooke Averick? You could do that with a bucket and a straw.
1:01:11 Connor Wood? A hundred percent. Yep. You could. Now I spent money on this.
1:01:15 Brooke Averick? Although can you breathe out of your mouth only and not your nose? I guess if you're plugging your nose. No, you can also. You can be a mouth breather. Yeah. Sorry.
1:01:27 Connor Wood? Yeah.
1:01:28 Brooke Averick? Sorry.
1:01:29 Connor Wood? Another trend that I want to do is the mouth tape because I've been seeing, unless I'm being absolutely scammed on, on Tik Tok shop, but I get those all the time. It goes, every time I open Tik Tok, hey, fat face. Do you have a fat face? You fat face bitch.
1:01:43 Brooke Averick? Cortisol face?
1:01:43 Connor Wood? Cortisol. I'm like, I don't even know what that is. Hey, fat face.
1:01:48 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
1:01:49 Connor Wood? Ow, I just, I just opened the app.
1:01:52 Brooke Averick? I know. People are really mean to me about my cortisol on Tik Tok. But then all, all the comments on like the cortisol face and stomach Tik Tocks are like, this is not true. Someone just, I need an oracle.
1:02:05 Connor Wood? I know.
1:02:05 Brooke Averick? I need an almighty person. Hank Green. That's what Hank Green is genuinely.
1:02:10 Connor Wood? No, I, I know. I, I know what you mean. I also just like, I know we're in the, we're in the age of.
1:02:18 Connor Wood? Like beauty hacks and lifestyle wins and all this stuff. Just like, can you give me a pill? That is just like everything?
1:02:26 Brooke Averick? A hundred percent.
1:02:28 Connor Wood? You guys, everyone loves pills. Find me an anti-anxiety, low cortisol, vitamin C, magnesium, Ozempic, and then also steroids. I want to get big and tight. And also like I, I want to sleep good. Like put everything into one. I'll take, I'll take it five times a day.
1:02:53 Brooke Averick? They had like, you remember those like Cara vitamins?
1:02:56 Connor Wood? Yeah.
1:02:56 Brooke Averick? Where you could be like, this is what I need. And they'd give you the vitamins. Let's do that, but make it a harder drug in one pill.
1:03:03 Connor Wood? Yeah.
1:03:05 Brooke Averick? Yeah.
1:03:05 Connor Wood? Yeah, I'm on board.
1:03:07 Brooke Averick? If I need to take like a shot in my butt, like once a month, it's just like everything I need, I'll do it.
1:03:12 Connor Wood? That's what I was gonna say. I will shoot up if you just get it all into one little device.
1:03:15 Brooke Averick? Put it all in one place. I'm not doing 16 NutraFall pills with breakfast, lunch and dinner.
1:03:20 Connor Wood? No. Make it a vape.
1:03:23 Brooke Averick? Make it a vape.
1:03:25 Connor Wood? Like let's just, put it in a binky. Put it in a vape.
1:03:30 Brooke Averick? Put it in a powder, put it in a vape, put it in a shot, put it in a pill. I do not care. Put it in me.
1:03:35 Connor Wood? Put it in me.
1:03:37 Brooke Averick? Put it in.
1:03:39 Connor Wood? Come, come on down and put it in me.
1:03:42 Brooke Averick? And with that.
1:03:44 Connor Wood? Holy frigging air ball.
1:03:46 Brooke Averick? Thank you for letting me know. And I'll be seeing you in the bonus.
1:03:50 Connor Wood? Yeah.
1:03:50 Brooke Averick? We are not recording next week. We're taking a little break for the 4th of July. Hope everyone has a fabulous fourth. We love you.
1:04:00 Connor Wood? Everyone be safe. No one needs to have a three day hangover. No one needs that, you guys.
1:04:09 Connor Wood? Take it from me.
1:04:11 Brooke Averick? And if you do need to have one, plan accordingly.
1:04:13 Connor Wood? Don't start the new year with a three day hangover. Trust, or I guess it's not the new year.
1:04:18 Brooke Averick? Summer.
1:04:19 Connor Wood? Any day can be the start of a new year if you just keep an open mind.
1:04:25 Brooke Averick? And with that, thank you. And holy frigging air ball.
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Previous Sad But Fire Next Fighting For Big Tooth Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated