Jade Goody | No Laughing Matter | 2

Jade returns to the Big Brother house, but what starts as a reality TV experiment quickly spirals into a national scandal. Finally, her actions spark outrage that reaches the Prime Minister. Do you have a suggestion for a scandal you would like us to cover? Or perhaps you have a question you would like to ask our hosts? Email us at [email protected] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alice Levine?

  Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of British Scandal ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app. Just a warning, just to let you know, this episode contains swearing and some depictions of racism.

• 0:14Matt Forde?

  Alice, it's Matt. You've probably seen, I've been cancelled. Been fired from all my projects. I've got nowhere to go. And I remember back when we started doing the show about five years ago, you said, oh, if you ever need anything, very kindly you offered, I wondered if I'd just come and stay with you for a bit.

• 0:28Alice Levine?

  Did I? Oh, God, I don't remember. Did I definitely say that?

• 0:31Matt Forde?

  Don't know, you said it the first time we met, it made a real impression on me. So I would, I really need to come and stay with you for a while because it's got reporters outside my house. I'm getting attacked in the street.

• 0:39Alice Levine?

  You've explored every avenue. Have you called everybody in your phone? But you should like really go top to bottom.

• 0:45Matt Forde?

  Everyone, everyone. I've just been cancelled by everyone.

• 0:48Alice Levine?

  OK, OK, I've got a solution.

• 0:50Matt Forde?

  Oh, thank you. Alice, I can get there in about 20 minutes.

• 0:54Alice Levine?

  No, no, no, sorry, not, not me. I think you've got Peter Mandelson's number, haven't you?

• 0:59Matt Forde?

  Uh, are you? That doesn't instinctively feel like that would be helpful.

• 1:06Alice Levine?

  Yeah, no, he's perfect. I mean, he's got way more bedrooms and time and, and stuff than me. So, yeah, have a good one. OK, ta ta.

• 1:14Matt Forde?

  But are you sure that's best for me?

• 1:17Matt Forde?

  Alice?

• 1:23Alice Levine?

  January 2007, Rowhampton, South West London. Jade rocks backwards and forwards on a narrow, single bed. She stares blankly at the crisp white sheets at her feet. Tries to remember where she is, what she's doing here.

• 1:41Alice Levine?

  The door to her room opens and closes, but it barely registers. A hand touches her on the shoulder. I bought you some clothes. Jade blinks. Her mum holds up a bulging plastic bag. Where am I? We're gonna get you some help, darling. They've had to put you in this section for now, but they're gonna move you tomorrow. Jade's lip trembles. What section? She looks around the small whitewashed room, punctuated with a TV with no plug. Flashes of the last week come flickering back. The streets of India, cameras shouting. Her name on Tony Blair's lips.

• 2:22Matt Forde?

  Lucky girl.

• 2:24Alice Levine?

  Her contracts have been cancelled, her perfume taken off the shelves. Her hands rise to her eyes. They're wet.

• 2:34Alice Levine?

  Come on darling, you need to get out of this coat. It's starting to smell. Jade looks up as a woman in a smart blue tunic and matching trousers enters. Smiling, the nurse speaks in a bright voice. Right, time to go Jade. Doctor will be here soon. Doctor? Jade feels herself panicking. She grabs her mum. Please don't leave! But Jackie disentangles herself and walks out.

• 3:03Alice Levine?

  Jade stares at the closed door. She pads towards it. Opens it a crack. The air smells of smoke, cigarettes. She hears muffled voices down the hall. Jade follows the sound down the corridor to a tiny room. Pushes the heavy door open and peers inside as a cold wash of horror fills her gut.

• 3:26Alice Levine?

  Inside, she takes in the emaciated bodies, the shaking hands, the sunken eyes. A gaunt man offers her a cigarette from his pack, revealing track-marked arms. She lets him light it for her, feels her own hands tremble as it all comes flooding back. She's been admitted to the priory.

• 3:49Matt Forde?

  The priory, despite being a rehabilitation centre, in the 90s was like, almost a glamorous place to be.

• 3:57Alice Levine?

  Yeah, it kind of held some cachet that you were going to rehab, but you were going to the rehab. It kind of meant you had some sort of celeb status, didn't it?

• 4:05Matt Forde?

  It was like a private members' club.

• 4:06Alice Levine?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Matt Forde?

  It was like a Nando's black card.

• 4:09Alice Levine?

  Sure.

• 4:10Matt Forde?

  But for people who were obviously struggling.

• 4:12Alice Levine?

  My glibometer is just going into the red now.

• 4:19Alice Levine?

  She inhales and thinks of her dad, who died of a heroin overdose two years ago in the toilets of a KFC. Her mum, who was addicted to crack. She's battled her whole life to get away from her childhood. And yet, in the space of just a few weeks, she's gone from the nation's sweetheart to the most hated woman in the country.

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• 5:49Speaker 04

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• 6:23Alice Levine?

  I'm Alice Levine.

• 6:24Matt Forde?

  And I'm Matt Ford.

• 6:25Alice Levine?

  And this is British Scandal from Audible Originals.

• 6:37Alice Levine?

  Right, Matt. What do you think of Jade Goody so far?

• 6:41Matt Forde?

  So many things. She is outspoken, opinionated, charismatic, vulnerable and honest.

• 6:49Alice Levine?

  I mean, some might say too honest.

• 6:51Matt Forde?

  Yes, that is both a strength and a weakness. But she represents a new era of celebrity. She was the first reality star, really, that we had in this country. She pioneered the era of reality TV, this whole new genre where people are basically famous just for being famous, just for being themselves. And it was the force of her personality, really, that did that. So she did it all just by being herself.

• 7:16Alice Levine?

  Yeah, she really was the template for a new type of famous person. And at the time, that kind of felt refreshing and exciting. Someone just being their authentic selves when we were used to so much polish and so much curation. And the idea that that could lead you to fame and fortune, that kind of felt like an underdog story. So how do you think that's going to turn out ultimately?

• 7:40Matt Forde?

  Oh, I mean, given all the conditions that we've described, I think inevitable fame, fortune and eternal happiness.

• 7:46Alice Levine?

  Yeah, okay. Well, every time we talk, I'm surprised at how little you've learnt from the British scandal format. But this is episode two, No Laughing Matter.

• 8:00Alice Levine?

  Five years earlier, autumn 2002. Jade Goody's house, Thorrock, Essex. Jade wakes with a start to the sound of her phone ringing. She blinks at the clock. Her heart skips a beat. She's supposed to be at the studio already. She doesn't even need to see the number to know that it's John Knoll, her agent. She picks up, tries to sound wide awake. I'm on my way to the studio. The traffic's bad. There's a pause on the other end of the line. Jade scrunches up her face. John's no fool. You're still in bed, aren't you? Jade exhales. There's no point in lying. Yeah, but I was up all night with stomach pains,

• 8:44Alice Levine?

  probably all those seeds you're making me eat.

• 8:48Alice Levine?

  John's been trying to get Jade to lose weight for her fitness video, which is what she's supposed to be rehearsing right now. Jade, do you trust me? Of course she does. Things have been going well for her since Big Brother. She's made way more money than the person who won, Kate Lawler. Her most recent venture was a TV show called Jade Salon, about her opening up her own beauty business, which she'd called Uglies.

• 9:14Matt Forde?

  Very 90s, to try and reclaim the U word.

• 9:19Alice Levine?

  Yeah, it was just such a cruel time, wasn't it? The kind of public humiliation factor which we think is still present now, but that was sort of the main currency of shows like that. I know, I need to take the fitness video seriously. Yeah, you fucking do. It's just I prefer shopping and eating to training. But I'm gonna get ready now. I'll be there in an hour.

• 9:40Matt Forde?

  I prefer eating to training. Did I tell you about that time? I woke up, 3, 4 in the morning, went to the toilet, but I caught my reflection in the mirror. Have I told you this? And there was like a massive moth on my back. And I screamed, I was like, ah! Grabbed it bravely, summoned a lot of strength, pulled it off.

• 10:02Alice Levine?

  Not a lot of strength, yeah.

• 10:03Matt Forde?

  And it was some moral strength. It was a twirl wrapper. I'd eaten a chocolate bar in bed and passed out and then rolled over on the wrapper. And like the chocolate and the thing looked like a massive animal. I was like, this needs to change. I can't, I can't keep living like this.

• 10:19Alice Levine?

  That is one of the top five saddest stories.

• 10:23Matt Forde?

  Stay tuned for the other four.

• 10:25Alice Levine?

  Jade hangs up, pads to the shower, but a sharp pain doubles her over. She curls up on the bathroom floor, clutches her stomach and groans. Oh! This isn't just seeds. There's something seriously wrong. John can wait. She needs a doctor.

• 10:46Alice Levine?

  An hour later, Jade sits in the doctor's office, shuffling uncomfortably on the plastic chair. She watches the GP study his computer screen, frowning. He turns to her and clears his throat. Is there someone you'd like to call? A partner? Jade shakes her head. She's only a few months into a relationship with fellow reality star Jeff Brazier. She can't drag him into GP appointments.

• 11:12Alice Levine?

  Can't you just tell me what's wrong with me? The doctor glances over at her notes again. This may come as a shock to you. Jade.

• 11:21Alice Levine?

  Jade's mind goes into panicked overdrive as she watches him carefully place his hands on his lap.

• 11:29Alice Levine?

  But you're pregnant.

• 11:40Alice Levine?

  Four years later, autumn 2006, John Knowles' office, West London.

• 11:47Alice Levine?

  John Knowles sits across from Jade, hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. He watches as Jade bounces her knee up and down, excited. I've seen this amazing nursery down the road from our scenetics. It's got like wooden toys and free course meals. As she babbles on, John thinks over the last four years. Despite her now having two kids, he's helped her become a Sunday Times bestselling author, a pioneer in the DVD fitness craze, and secured three separate television shows. But he knows every reality TV star has a shelf life, so he has a new proposition for her, one he knows he has to tread carefully around. Jade, your perfume's outselling David Beckham's.

• 12:31Alice Levine?

  I thought I smelt myself on your receptionist. John smiles. Jade's success also has cemented his own reputation as a celebrity alchemist. Now he needs to remind Jade who she owes it all to.

• 12:45Matt Forde?

  This is fascinating because she was really the first big star in this new reality world.

• 12:53Alice Levine?

  Yeah, she was the first influencer, I guess, you know, famous for being famous. And actually, she was the first reality star millionaire.

• 13:01Matt Forde?

  So from John's point of view, as an agent, you're like, you are nailing this more than anyone has ever nailed it. You are the pioneer, you're the Beatles, really, of this thing.

• 13:10Alice Levine?

  Yeah, it's a brand new revenue stream, so he just wants to milk it. And actually, it's hard to imagine now because this dominates entertainment. Influencers are the new pop stars, actors. But yeah, she was at the vanguard.

• 13:25Alice Levine?

  But before John can speak, Jade leans forward, gives him a wink. Next step. John's heart sinks. He knows what she's about to say.

• 13:36Alice Levine?

  Hollywood. John shakes his head. Ever since Jade won Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes, she's been talking more and more about moving into serious acting. But John knows that fame is fickle. Remember, you're a single mom. You've got to earn.

• 13:54Alice Levine?

  Jade bristles. Just tell me what it is. John leans back in his chair, takes a breath. It's a reality project. Jade's shoulders slump. On a... He can't tell her the truth. Not yet. He improvises. Farm. It's for Channel 4. It's a good offer. But Jade's looking uncertain.

• 14:19Alice Levine?

  I want to move on, John. I'm bigger than the Beckhams. I don't want to just be famous for being famous no more. Why shouldn't I go to Hollywood? John feels himself get impatient. Don't be a fucking idiot, Jade. You might be able to sing, but you're not exactly Meryl Streep. Jade pushes back her chair, stands. You haven't even met with the producers yet. Jade doesn't break her stride as she heads towards the door. I'd love to send you to Hollywood, but the opportunities aren't there, Jade. Jade's hand is on the doorknob as John adds, "I'll keep looking, okay?" Finally, she stops, turns. Pinky promise. Pinky promise.

• 15:04Alice Levine?

  Fine, one meeting. John watches Jade trip over her feet on her way out of the room. He smiles to himself. That woman is pure entertainment. No scripts needed. She is the story.

• 15:19Alice Levine?

  As long as he can keep her in her lane, she's going to keep making money. For them both.

• 15:33Alice Levine?

  Two weeks later, Jade sits in the back of a cab staring at a selection of candid shots from a tabloid photographer. Jade's cut a deal with this guy. She lets him know where she's going to be and if he sells the images, she gets a cut.

• 15:47Matt Forde?

  I've often wondered about the sorts of photos you see on the Daily Mail website that are very high quality, clearly taken from not that far away, but are real photos of someone in the park or having an argument or whatever. I've always wondered, surely some of those are set up?

• 16:02Alice Levine?

  In this case, she's been really shrewd. She said to this freelance pap essentially, "You're getting shots of me when I'm at the cash point. Why don't we go into business together? I'll tell you when I'm going to be exercising, I'll set up something shopping, or even when I'm test driving a new car, which she crashed, and you can get off-guard photos of me." And this is serious money. At the time, a series of photos of her going about her business would make £25,000.

• 16:29Matt Forde?

  That shows how savvy she was. She'd have made a fortune out of photos that were going to be taken of her anyway.

• 16:36Alice Levine?

  As she studies a photo of herself working out in a park, pink-faced and sweating, she grins. The headlines are writing themselves. Ever since she messed up at the London Marathon, failing to finish the race, the tabloids have lapped up photos of her exercising, or attempting to.

• 16:53Matt Forde?

  This is the other thing, is if you sort of realise, as she seems to have, that you being a bit of a joke is the story, you can either resist that and get offended, or say, "I don't mind that much, I'm going to use this to make money." And there's something, I imagine, quite liberating about that, and go, "Well, this is kind of based on the character of who I am. I know I speak in a particular way." And obviously that would frustrate her at times, I've no doubt, but she spotted the opportunity to improve her life on the back of it. And that is phenomenal.

• 17:23Alice Levine?

  Jade's interrupted by the cabbie. Here you go, love. Jade stares out of the window at a giant white office building. It looks like a fridge. She's agreed to this meeting to keep the peace. But the thought of tramping around on a farm in Wellies makes her shudder. As she gets out of the car, an assistant greets her and ushers her through the revolving doors. Oh, my mate, in then. The assistant gestures to a woman with long brown hair, sitting on one of the two big red sofas shaped like lips.

• 17:55Matt Forde?

  God, remember those?

• 17:57Alice Levine?

  Gorgeous. Is this the era of the inflatable chair as well?

• 18:01Matt Forde?

  Just general tat. I mean, I'm not saying I'm glad the financial crash happened, but it wiped out a lot of stuff we did not need. What did you do? Sold lava lamps. Goodbye.

• 18:14Alice Levine?

  The TV producer stands, turns to Jade and gives her a huge smile. Jade can't believe her eyes. It's Claire, her old producer from Big Brother. Claire, what are you doing here? Claire folds Jade into a hug. Hi Jade babe. We can't wait to have you on Celebrity Big Brother. Jade's heart skips a beat. Celebrity Big Brother? John didn't say anything. Claire smiles, shakes her head. It's top secret and he warned, said. Claire trails off. Jade's jaw tightens. I've got a big mouth. Claire laughs awkwardly. Isn't that why you named your perfume Shh?

• 18:59Alice Levine?

  Jade nods, but deep down she feels like she's been punched in the gut. She's told John till she's blue in the face. No more realities. She grabs her pink Motorola Razor V3. She's going to give him an earful when Claire places a hand on Jade's arm reassuringly. John told us you might have reservations. Jade studies Claire's kind face.

• 19:26Alice Levine?

  But this is the first time we've ever brought anyone from Big Brother back on the show as a celeb. Jade feels flattered, but she knows she doesn't want to do it. She can't put herself through that again. It's a shorter format, 26 days, and it's £50,000.

• 19:43Matt Forde?

  Yes, please.

• 19:44Alice Levine?

  Chugging. £50,000 for 26 days. Jade runs through her mental shopping list. It's almost Christmas. She's gone a bit crazy with presents for the boys, and she's seen a private school she really likes for Bobby, but it's expensive. Can I think about it? Claire snaps back. Did John tell you we want Jackie and Jack to come on too? Jade does a double take. My mum and my boyfriend.

• 20:14Matt Forde?

  I don't think that's a good idea, because reality telly looks stressful enough as it is, without your mum being in there with you, and without, what I'm guessing is, a new boyfriend, who might really have only just met your mum, and then you're all going into the Big Brother house for like a second date.

• 20:29Alice Levine?

  So yeah, Jeff Brazier's off the scene. This is Jack. Jack and Jade met in a club, the site of many love stories. He claimed to be a 22-year-old Italian footballer. Ooh, pullback reveal, actually an 18-year-old electrician's apprentice from Hertfordshire.

• 20:46Alice Levine?

  Claire smiles at Jade. We'd love to have your whole family on the show. Jade's only been with her new boyfriend, Jack, a few months, but she's already fallen for him. Now she imagines herself back in the Big Brother house, but this time with him and her mum there for support. Maybe if John thinks this is a good idea. I guess, yeah, it could be a laugh. Claire squeals with excitement. She grabs Jade's hands. Jade, this is gonna be great. You made it a hit last time, and I know you're gonna make it a hit again. Jade hugs Claire, takes a breath. Now she just has to convince her mum and Jack to expose their every move, their every thought, to the entire nation.

• 21:41Alice Levine?

  2006, Christmas Day. Jade's house in Thurrock, Essex. Jade puts the boys in front of Monsters Inc, crouching down to give them a box of Nerds each and a kiss. Jade's made sure the boys had the best morning with piles and piles of presents under the tree and pizza for lunch. She straightens, takes a breath and heads back into the kitchen. She watches her mum and Jack tuck into their M&S prawn cocktail starter and tries to keep her voice casual. I've got something to tell you all. Jackie puts her hands to her mouth, gasps, almost choking on a prawn. You're pregnant!

• 22:22Alice Levine?

  Jade feels herself blushing, sees Jack look up in concern. No, we're going on Celebrity Big Brother. Grinning, she looks round at her family, but she's met with horrified stares. You're not going back on that show again, Jade. We're all going, Mam. They've asked you and Jack to come with me. Jack lets out a short laugh. I'm not doing that. I wasn't sure at first neither, but it's an amazing opportunity. Jackie pushes her chair back. No, thank you. I don't want everybody watching me, picking my nose, pulling apart everything I say and do, made to look like a mug on telly. It won't be like that.

• 23:07Alice Levine?

  But Jackie interrupts. It weren't all sunshine and roses with you. Jade watches as Jackie goes next door to deal with the kids, takes a swig of champagne trying to calm herself down. Jackie comes back in, holding Bobby and Freddie by the hand. They want to join us. Jade softens, helps Jackie sit the boys at the table. Her mum has been great since she's had kids, a real support. Jade cuts the kids some turkey.

• 23:38Alice Levine?

  You'll get paid. But nobody reacts. Jade continues slicing the meat. You'll get paid. Ten grand. Jade watches as her mum and Jack look at each other in amazement.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  Between us.

• 23:53Alice Levine?

  Jade smiles, triumphant. No. Each. She can see her mum mentally computing all the holidays she can take. But to Jade's surprise, Jackie frowns, shakes her head, slower this time. I don't think I can, Jade.

• 24:11Alice Levine?

  Jade exhales, frustration bubbling up. We'll be together, mum. That's why I said yeah. We can look after each other. I'm doing this for you and Jack as much as me. Jade looks over at Jack for support. He lets his fork reach his mouth, chews for a moment. All right. I'll do it. Jade grabs her mum's glass, refills it. Jack shrugs. Might be a laugh.

• 24:39Alice Levine?

  Mum.

• 24:41Alice Levine?

  Jackie takes the glass of champagne, downs it in one. Tenerife's calling, mum.

• 24:48Alice Levine?

  Jade wiggles her hips, sees a small smile appear.

• 24:52Speaker 05

  Okay, okay. As long as we're together.

• 24:58Matt Forde?

  This is the floor, isn't it? Because they're not being put in there to be a happy family. They are in there as a vehicle for conflict, for entertainment. And Jade's vulnerable, her mum is as well. So it's really sad that they think they're going in there to have a lovely, happy family time, and we know that's not going to be the case.

• 25:18Alice Levine?

  Yeah, media savvy people would say, okay, wait a minute, they're not celebrities, they're being put into Celebrity Big Brother, they're being offered a lot of money, certainly a lot of money to Jackie and Jack. Why would that be? Okay, Jade's outspoken on her own, what happens when we put her with her family? She's going to be more relaxed, she's going to be more candid, and they're going to be unguarded, probably to a point where it's going to cause friction with other housemates. This is TV gold. Jade lets out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, and relief floods through her. She beams, elated. She's going to bring her mum and her boyfriend into the circus with her. We've had the Osbournes, everyone's tired of the Beckhams. Watch out, world.

• 26:03Alice Levine?

  Here comes Team Goody.

• 26:12Speaker 06

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• 27:56Alice Levine?

  January 5th, 2007, Celebrity Big Brother studio. Jade steps out of the car and the sound of the crowd hits her like a wave. Dave! Oh, Dave! Dave! Jack! Jack! She grabs Jack's hand, looks around for her mum's car, beckons over a producer.

• 28:15Alice Levine?

  Where's my mum? They're sending her in after you.

• 28:20Alice Levine?

  Jade bites her lip. Jade had told her mum they'd be entering the house together as a family. The other housemates have been in for two days. They're already making them go in late and now they've split her and Jack up from Jackie. Jade knows her mum will be bricking it and she can't help feeling the same way herself. The producer guides her past the photographers to Davina, who greets her with a smile. How are you feeling? You look amazing! Your boobs are enormous! Jade grins, letting herself relax into the hug. She's matching Jack's black shirt and jeans with a tight black outfit that shows off her slimmer figure and enhanced boobs. Her hair has been cut into a chic brunette bob.

• 29:04Alice Levine?

  A far cry from the bottle blonde Miss Piggy who left the Big Brother house almost five years ago. As Davina signals them forwards, Jade reminds herself, she's got this.

• 29:17Alice Levine?

  She tiptoes up the stairs in her heels, approaches the Big Brother eye and steps through the cavernous entrance.

• 29:26Alice Levine?

  The doors seal shut behind them.

• 29:30Alice Levine?

  Inside, Jade is surprised to find just three people waiting, their smiles tight. A pretty Indian woman who introduces herself as Shilpa, a serious old white guy called Ken, and an elegant black man who turns out to be Jermaine Jackson. Michael Jackson's actual brother!

• 29:51Matt Forde?

  And still not one of the most controversial people on that show. So the Ken is Ken Russell?

• 29:56Alice Levine?

  Yeah.

• 29:57Matt Forde?

  The revered, basically art house film director?

• 30:01Alice Levine?

  Sure, you didn't expect that?

• 30:03Matt Forde?

  You could invent a line-up and it still wouldn't be as mad as the ones that they actually do.

• 30:08Alice Levine?

  Jade drops her bag. Jermaine smiles kindly as Shilpa steps forward. She asks Jade what she does. I've been on Big Brother before, four and a half years ago.

• 30:20Alice Levine?

  Shilpa blinks. Jade can't help but feel self-conscious. She's just a girl from Bermondsey who said a few silly things on national TV. The door opens again. Jade's mum rushes in, looking flustered. Oh my god, hi everyone. This is my mum, Jackie. Jade hugs her tightly, feels her mum's body trembling. I couldn't even get the door open. Jade bends to take her mum's bag into the bedroom when she hears something that makes her stomach twist.

• 30:54Alice Levine?

  Shilpa? Shilpla? Jade turns to see her mum standing in front of Shilpa, her face frustrated. Shilpa, Jermaine and Ken are all eyeing her mum in consternation. Oh, give me an easy name.

• 31:10Matt Forde?

  This is the first warning sign, I think, of where this series is going to go. Because if you're from a particular background and you've never heard these names before, the first time you hear them, it is hard if you're only used to like Dave, Michael, Kate. Like, what are traditional British names? And then you hear something, you think, I couldn't even repeat it immediately. You know, you have to be slightly generous towards people who've not been exposed to words and names about how they handle it. But how you handle it is crucial. Do you handle it in a generous way and say, look, I'm very sorry, I'm probably going to get your name wrong a few times, but I'm going to try? Or do you handle it in a way that is hostile? And this is the first moment you think, oh, this is going to be trouble.

• 31:54Alice Levine?

  Shilpa laughs uncomfortably, unsure what to make of this woman. And in that moment, Jade realises this isn't just about surviving the house herself. She can hardly control what comes out of her own mouth. But her mum is a ticking time bomb.

• 32:18Alice Levine?

  A few hours later, the diary room.

• 32:22Alice Levine?

  Jade stares at the blinking eye, trying to process what she's just been told. What? So this is just like our house now? She shifts uncomfortably in the golden chair. Yes Jade, before you entered, eight additional celebrity housemates were moved to the house next door. She frowns, trying to catch up. So that's why there were only three of them. Shilpa, Ken and Jermaine were the only ones left in this house. The other eight housemates are now your humble servants. They will live in the servant quarters next door. Oh no, no, please, no. They're gonna hate me. Please, no, I don't want that.

• 33:04Matt Forde?

  This is where Big Brother was really starting to change. From just, let's put people in a house and see what happens. To then, let's start really experimenting with them. And that idea of flipping what your social status would be in the outside world in the Big Brother house, making the low status people high status and vice versa.

• 33:21Alice Levine?

  They're deliberately mixing up these social classes, who the producers feel like aren't the kind of people that would interact normally. I mean, the production team obviously know it will ruffle feathers. And in fact, one of the housemates, Donny Toret, he walked out because he refused to wait on Jade. It really showed people's prejudices.

• 33:43Alice Levine?

  Jade steps out of the diary room, her heart racing. She heads into the lounge, ready to explain and to try and work out a plan now they've been singled out. But her mum is busy quizzing Shilpa, again. Is it a house or a shack? Jade freezes. Of course Shilpa doesn't live in a shack. Look at her. Right, Matt, you will not be surprised to hear, I am not going to attempt Shilpa Shetty's voice.

• 34:09Matt Forde?

  Why not?

• 34:11Alice Levine?

  Okay.

• 34:11Matt Forde?

  You don't want to get cancelled?

• 34:12Alice Levine?

  Don't want to get cancelled, that's a given. But also, this story is about racism, it's about people's accents, people's culture being weaponized. But what is important is that Shilpa is a very considered, very measured person. Her way of talking is such that you can tell that she's being very thoughtful. So I'm gonna try and capture that, because I think we need to feel that in comparison to Jade, who herself has said, "I don't think before I speak."

• 34:36Matt Forde?

  I think that's a wise move.

• 34:39Alice Levine?

  Shilpa pauses, caught off guard. Then carefully replies. "I have the whole seventh floor of a house in Mumbai." Jade watches as her mum's mouth hardens into a thin line. "You're a princess then." Jade winces, then steps in front of her mum. "Listen, I've got something to tell ya."

• 35:04Alice Levine?

  The next day Jade sits at the dining table with the other masters and watches as the servants troop in, all dressed in aprons and frilly caps. Jade's stomach drops. It's the first time she's meeting the other eight housemates. She immediately recognizes a girl with long mousy blonde hair, the model Danielle Lloyd. And another, Jo O'Meara from S Club 7. She loves S Club 7. Jade wishes she was with them instead of on the masters' side. She's not like Shilpa, Ken and Jermaine. She found out this morning that Shilpa and Jermaine both have servants. Shilpa's even got a man Friday, whatever that is.

• 35:49Alice Levine?

  Jade hears Shilpa's confident voice. "Let me show you around, guys." Jade watches as Shilpa boldly leads the servants out of the room. Feels her anger rising. She sits very still. Tries to calm her beating heart. She knows the producers have set this up. She knows its conflict they're after.

• 36:12Matt Forde?

  It's tricky this, because it's basically a big game. The real people are involved. But you can't really blame Shilpa. If you set up a concept and they say, "Well, you guys are high status, you guys are low status", you either lean into it or not. So I can totally understand why Shilpa says, "Well, fine, I'll play high status." I can equally understand why Jade, whose probably whole view of the world is, "It's against me that effectively the system is rigged against people from backgrounds like mine, and therefore this presses a lot of my buttons about my place in society", is less keen.

• 36:47Alice Levine?

  Jade's been on the back foot ever since she stepped into this damn house. But she takes a breath.

• 36:54Alice Levine?

  It's only another 22 days. She needs to think of her kids, protect her mum, and keep herself together. How hard can it be?

• 37:17Alice Levine?

  Day five in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Jade paces the tiny toilet cubicle. This is the only place the cameras can't see her. But she can't escape the noise. Her mum's voice cuts through the walls, so loud and relentless. Jackie and Shilpa, at it again. Jade doesn't even know what's kicked it off this time. She stops pacing, listens. My name is Shilpa, Jackie.

• 37:48Alice Levine?

  Jade bites her lip. Jackie still can't, or won't, get Shilpa's name right. Jade isn't Shilpa's biggest fan either, but she's been trying to keep her head down and stay civil. There's a knock at the door. Jade. She hesitates, then opens it. Your mum's bringing the princess down a peg or two. Jade shakes her head. He's not funny. I need to go in there, stop her. She moves for the door, but Jack blocks it.

• 38:19Alice Levine?

  She'll just kick off at ya. You know what she's like. Jade exhales sharply. But she's making herself look like an idiot. Jack puts an arm on Jade's shoulder. Just let her cool off. Jade looks at the door. The shouting is still going on, but she knows Jack's right. There's no point in speaking to her mum, not when she's like this. She'll have a word with her later. Warn her that if she doesn't calm down, she's going to alienate more than just Shilpa. And if the house turns on her mum, Jade can't imagine how she'll cope.

• 39:00Alice Levine?

  Two days later, Jade leans in close, carefully brushing mascara on Danielle Lloyd's eyelashes.

• 39:07Matt Forde?

  Danielle Lloyd, big star at the time.

• 39:09Alice Levine?

  Yes, what do you know about Danielle Lloyd?

• 39:10Matt Forde?

  Mainly the footballers she dated.

• 39:12Alice Levine?

  Sure.

• 39:12Matt Forde?

  Including Jamie O'Hara.

• 39:14Alice Levine?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:15Matt Forde?

  Former Spurs player now reborn as a Talksport viral sensation. I think she may have dated Teddy Sheringham, maybe Jermaine Defoe.

• 39:21Alice Levine?

  She had a type?

• 39:22Matt Forde?

  I mean, it's the same as mine. I love footballers, so does she. We've got that in common.

• 39:26Alice Levine?

  The other thing you may or may not know about her is that she was Miss Great Britain for a time, although stripped of that title when she stripped off in Playboy.

• 39:35Alice Levine?

  She smiles. Since the housemates were reunited in the big house, Jade's starting to enjoy herself. You look like a proper little doll. I'd look like a sack of spuds if I... This is Big Brother. Jade jumps as a voice booms across the house. Would all housemates gather at the dining table? Jade's eyes light up. Walking quickly to the table, she's excited to find out what the new task is. Jade slides in next to Jo, nudges her. Blindfolded obstacle course? Egg and spoon bet in? Shilpa is the last person to join them, emerging from the bedroom wearing sunglasses. Jade rolls her eyes at Jo and Danielle. Who does she think she is?

• 40:20Matt Forde?

  This is the point where you can see that things are changing, that she's feeling more comfortable with Jo and Danielle than she did before the divide.

• 40:28Alice Levine?

  Yeah, absolutely. In the masters and servants task, obviously Shilpa had a lot of power because of the exercise, but also because people kind of respect her. She's somebody who has an authority about her generally. And now everything's shifted. These three working-class women have found each other. They're doing each other's makeup, they're bonding. But it's not as innocent as that. We're already finding that they're kind of joining together in a way that is combative. And Jade, whereas she was contained in that task, now she's feeling emboldened. Now she feels like, okay, I have some protection, I have some people that I feel like are my tribe, and now I can be a bit more outspoken.

• 41:11Alice Levine?

  Big Brother's voice comes over the speaker again. This is Big Brother. Would Jackie please come to the diary room? Jade grins as the housemates cheer.

• 41:25Alice Levine?

  A few minutes later, her mum's face is beamed into the sitting room on a big screen. Jade's smile falters. This doesn't feel right. Jackie, you are the first person to be evicted. You will have to leave now. You will not be able to say your goodbyes.

• 41:46Alice Levine?

  Jade's heart thumps in her chest. This can't be happening. They can't send her away like this without even a hug goodbye. But before she knows it, her mother's gone.

• 42:03Alice Levine?

  Jade feels hot tears streaming down her face. No, they can't do that to her. How could Big Brother be so cruel? Her mum wasn't prepared.

• 42:14Alice Levine?

  Jade looks up. Her eyes land on Shilpa. She's looking down at the table, pretending to be sad. But Jade knows this is exactly what she wanted. She hated Jackie from the start. Jade's tried to play nice, tried to play the peacemaker, but she's done with all that. From now on, if Shilpa's got something to say about her, she can say it to her face.

• 42:48Alice Levine?

  Sixteenth of January 2007. Day 15 in the celebrity Big Brother house. Shilpa searches the kitchen, then again. She feels her temper rising. She can't find the chicken stock cubes that she needs to make her rice dish. She closes her eyes. She thought this experience would be fun, bring her to a new audience, make her parents proud. But so far, it's been the hardest two weeks of her life.

• 43:20Alice Levine?

  Stealing herself, she goes over to the lounge, where Jade is sitting with Danielle and Joe. Ever since all the housemates moved back into the main house, Jade, Joe and Danielle have become thick as thieves. Shilpa walks over to the girls, her head held high. Have you used up the stock cubes?

• 43:41Alice Levine?

  Jade shrugs. Dunno. Then glances over to Danielle and Joe, a smirk on her face. How many did we use in the pasta? Danielle barely conceals the contempt in her voice. Must have been four, yeah. Shilpa blinks. They used a whole box of Stock cubes.

• 44:01Matt Forde?

  That pasta must have tasted disgusting.

• 44:03Alice Levine?

  They will be drinking pints of water for weeks.

• 44:06Matt Forde?

  Four Stock cubes? It's idiotic.

• 44:10Alice Levine?

  In nearly 70 series, I've never seen you so incensed.

• 44:16Alice Levine?

  Now Shilpa's meal is ruined. She feels her anger give way to hurt. It was the only thing I put on the shopping list. The minute she says it, she realises she's made a mistake. Jade sneers. Now it wasn't. Shilpa curses under her breath. She knows Jade's right. And she also knows Jade isn't going to let this go. Shilpa, you didn't only order Oxo cubes. That was a really stupid thing to say. Shilpa bristles at Jade's tone. She reminds herself to take a breath. You know what? I take that back. That was one of the things I ordered.

• 44:58Alice Levine?

  She tries to de-escalate, but Jade won't let it drop. You're a liar! A liar and a fake! Danielle and Joe are laughing.

• 45:08Matt Forde?

  They were a real little axis, those three.

• 45:10Alice Levine?

  This is horrible. This is bullying. I mean, before she even starts shouting, this is a setup. They've done this to provoke her. And so whatever happens after that was by design.

• 45:21Matt Forde?

  And actually, you could easily say, oh, it's just Stock cubes. But when you're in a claustrophobic environment, where you've got no control over what's happening, just the little bits of routine that you have actually become a huge deal, I imagine. And then any sort of small slight is actually huge, because you know you're being left out of a group. And when it's divided along racial lines, how can you not start to draw deeper conclusions?

• 45:42Alice Levine?

  Shilpa feels tears threatening her eyes. It's been days of this. The looks, the snide remarks, the whispering in the bedroom that stops as soon as she comes in. Do you know what? I don't need to dignify this stupid, stupid argument. It may be fun for you, Jade. But Jade isn't backing down. Caused by you, you started it. Something shifts in Shilpa. She's had enough. Oh, please, shut up. There's a second of silence. Who the fuck are you to tell me to shut up? You might be some fucking princess in fucking Neverland, but you're not no princess here. Shilpa stares at her, stunned. You need elocution classes or something. The screaming intensifies.

• 46:27Alice Levine?

  You need some real life in your life, that's what you need. Because you're so stuck up your own arse, you can smell your own shit. Jermaine comes over, takes Shilpa by the arm, but Shilpa's blood is boiling now. You know what? Your claim to fame is this.

• 46:44Matt Forde?

  This was horrible television that, I have to confess, I did watch. Because you could see the dynamics starting to curdle. And at first, you can see what would press Jade's buttons about Shilpa and vice versa. And then, once Jade, Danielle and Jo become a club, and they're all white women, and they're being nasty to Shilpa, who's the only brown woman in there, you could see that this had gone beyond just, oh, I find you a little bit annoying. They were bullying her, and it was clearly racist.

• 47:15Alice Levine?

  Yeah, we've actually only reproduced a really small moment of this because it is so horrible to listen to. But a lot of people will remember how it escalates, kind of peaks after this point. And it's not just Jade. You know, Jo is vicious and unambiguously racist. And the producers put it out, of course, they put it out without a caveat. And you could definitely argue that they cultivated it. And it becomes so extreme, as we will find out later, that it becomes a police matter. So this is the worst of the worst. I mean, it's really, really hard to watch now. Shilpa paces the bedroom, adrenaline coursing through her. She won't cry. She won't give them the satisfaction. If Jade wants to make a spectacle of herself, she'll let her.

• 48:00Alice Levine?

  And if Jade is determined to blow up, Shilpa exhales slowly. Then she won't be the one to stop her.

• 48:14Alice Levine?

  A trucker merges onto the I-10 in New Orleans. He checks his mirrors. The lane is clear. And then, boom.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  A pickup truck, seemingly out of nowhere, scrapes down the side of his 18-wheeler, multiple passengers inside. One man flees the scene, and the driver of the pickup, he doesn't seem all that upset. It didn't feel like a regular accident, because it wasn't. Across the city, truckers are getting sideswiped, all on the same stretch of the same freeway. And behind many of the cases is one person, a Hollywood stunt woman turned personal injury lawyer, named Vanessa Moda. This podcast is a story about fake accidents that lead to real consequences, and a scheme that ends in betrayal and murder. Listen to Over My Dead Body: Operation Sideswipe, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• 49:15Speaker 02

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• 49:58Speaker 02

  Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of A Great Book with Barack Obama ad-free right now, plus access each audiobook discussed in the series. Download the Audible app today.

• 50:22Alice Levine?

  17th of January 2007, New Delhi, India. Gordon Brown adjusts his tie and glances out of the window. A scrum of press wait for him below. He smiles, pleased at the level of interest his trip to India is generating. Two years ago, New Labour won a record third term. Now Tony Blair is stepping down and Brown is finally poised to take over. He's looking forward to filling in the journalists about his successful meeting with government ministers, working to strengthen Britain's trade links with India. His adviser appears by his side. Ready, sir? Brown nods. A few minutes later, he exits the building and instantly journalists swarm round.

• 51:07Alice Levine?

  Chancellor, what are your thoughts about Jade Goody? Brown frowns, turns to his adviser, confused. Jade Goody? His adviser has got his phone in his hand, his eyebrows are raised. One of the contestants on Celebrity Big Brother has been accused of racial bullying. I'm not here to talk about some reality show. Brown hisses back, annoyed. He turns back to the journalists, he refuses to engage with this nonsense. I just had an excellent meeting with... But he can't even finish his sentence before he's interrupted by a wave of noise. Is it true there's been 10,000 complaints to Ofcom? Chancellor, what about the people burning effigies of Jade in Mumbai? What have you got to say to them?

• 51:53Alice Levine?

  Brown stares in horror. Effigies? In India? Um, what do you say to the recent comment by the Indian Minister of External Affairs that racism is unacceptable in a civilised society? The Indian Minister of External Affairs? Brown holds a hand up to the crowd. He snaps at his adviser. Get me out of here!

• 52:16Alice Levine?

  Inside the car, Brown thumbs through his BlackBerry messages, stunned. Dude, good he called this woman "Schilpa Papadom". Did you know about this? Brown shakes his head in disbelief. Here he is, trying to build trade links with an ex-colony off the back of what he thought was a successful policy of multiculturalism back home. And all of a sudden, some girl on a reality TV show threatens to jeopardize the whole thing.

• 52:41Matt Forde?

  It's so mad. This was such a big deal. Because obviously, Britain has a history with India that we've not sort of fully dealt with as a country. So when the Prime Minister's over there trying to get a trade deal, trying to smooth relations, and there's this terrible reminder about some British people's attitudes towards people from that part of the world, obviously it's a diplomatic crisis.

• 53:03Alice Levine?

  He feels himself vibrate with anger. He needs to make clear in his statement that Britain is a country of fairness and tolerance, and that he's relying on the British public to vote this woman out.

• 53:23Alice Levine?

  Friday, the 19th of January 2007. Day 17 in the Big Brother house.

• 53:31Alice Levine?

  The door slides open. Jade gives Davina an uncertain smile, but Davina doesn't smile back.

• 53:40Alice Levine?

  Hello? Hi. Jade gives Davina a hug, feels the stiffness. Something's wrong. I don't know how much you know about why nobody's here. Jade shakes her head, confused. Davina guides her towards the studio. All will become clear.

• 54:01Alice Levine?

  Five minutes later, Jade watches in horror as Davina plays a series of clips on the big screen.

• 54:09Alice Levine?

  This isn't just about a TV show anymore. This is a major diplomatic row. Well, the reaction here in Mumbai... Is one of outrage. Concern that the Bollywood actress is the victim of racist bullying today reached Prime Minister's question time. Jade's heart is racing, her forehead clammy. The Prime Minister? A diplomatic incident? She doesn't understand. She tried to make her peace with Shilpa. They hugged it out. She knows she lost her rag, but she's not racist. She was bullied herself for being mixed race at school.

• 54:49Alice Levine?

  I want to show you one more thing before we properly get into the interview. The big screen flickers back into life again. Shilpa, sitting in the diary room, tears in her eyes. Suddenly groups have formed. Then Jade talking about Shilpa. Is she being fake? Is she being real? Her and the girls laughing about Shilpa in the bedroom.

• 55:13Alice Levine?

  Shilpa out in the garden with one of the other housemates. Why am I hated? Jade making fun of Shilpa's accent. Are you blaming me for the chicken? The fight, Jade screaming. And no, it don't smell of fucking roses, it smells of fucking shit. Back in the bedroom with the girls. Shilpa whoever you are, I don't know if I can say her name. Shilpa Fuckerwala? Shilpa Popadomosunink?

• 55:43Alice Levine?

  Finally, a clip of Shilpa. I don't deserve this.

• 55:49Alice Levine?

  The screen goes black.

• 55:54Alice Levine?

  Jade tries to swallow, but her mouth is bone dry. She doesn't recognise that version of herself, the angry nasty woman on screen.

• 56:05Alice Levine?

  That's quite uncomfortable watching, isn't it?

• 56:09Alice Levine?

  Jade nods. It's nasty.

• 56:13Alice Levine?

  Jade's never prepared for an interview in her life. She's always just been herself. But now, she searches for the right words. She's at a loss. Davina prompts her. So what have you got to say from seeing that? Jade feels herself panicking. She keeps her eyes down as she scrambles. Um, well, when I made that comment about, I don't know who she is. She'll put this, she'll put that, she'll put popper dom. It wasn't actually meant in a racial, racist form. Um, but I can see why.

• 56:50Matt Forde?

  That's the quote. That's the clip that travels the planet. That really is what seals this for Jade Goody. That is the moment where people really crystallise their opinion about her.

• 57:01Alice Levine?

  And I think that moment of name-calling for so many people embodied their exact experience of growing up in Britain as a brown person. The hostility, the hatred, the disrespect. So to see that on mainstream television, on the biggest show at the time, without censorship, without challenge, was so upsetting, just devastating, completely devastating.

• 57:27Matt Forde?

  And this was the sort of racist abuse when I was growing up that people from Pakistani and Indian backgrounds got, was predominantly about Indian food. That was like bound into the insults that they received. This wasn't just like a bit of dumb wordplay or something. This was part of a deeper cultural problem.

• 57:46Alice Levine?

  A member of the audience shouts out, "Stop saying it!" Jade stops, confused. Her eyes scan the room. She sees a sea of stony faces. She's used to people finding her ridiculous, laughing at her. But this is something else. Hatred, contempt. She's a single mum with two kids to support. And for the first time since she became famous, no one is laughing.

• 58:33Alice Levine?

  From Audible Originals and Samizdat Audio, this is the second episode in our series Jade Goody.

• 58:39Matt Forde?

  A quick note about our dialogue: in most cases, we can't know exactly what was said, but all our dramatizations are based on historical research.

• 58:47Alice Levine?

  If you'd like to know more about this story, you can read How It All Began, Forever in My Heart, and Fighting to the End, all by Jade Goody, and the Channel 4 Blast Films documentary Jade: The Reality Star Who Changed Britain. Thank you to everybody who has been in touch. If you would like to get in touch, it is [email protected].

• 59:07Matt Forde?

  And in other British scandal business, if you'd like to see this podcast live, then there are still a few tickets remaining.

• 59:13Alice Levine?

  Think of our usual great storytelling, even if I do say it myself, but with ridiculous features we can't do in the studio, we're going to get you all involved. And it won't be recorded, so if you miss it, you will never hear that scandal again.

• 59:25Matt Forde?

  Go to crosswires.live for tickets.

• 59:28Alice Levine?

  British Scandal is hosted by me, Alice Levine.

• 59:30Matt Forde?

  And me, Matt Ford.

• 59:32Alice Levine?

  Written by Afzad Aghrey. Additional writing by Alice Levine and Matt Ford. Our story editor was James Maniac. Sound design by Daniel King. Our engineer was Jai Williams. For Samizdat, our series producer was Chika Ayers. Our assistant producer was Louise Mason. Our senior producers were Joe Sykes and Dasha Nisitzeina. Executive producers for Audible were Theodora LaLudis and Estelle Doyle.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm Kenya Barris. And I'm Malcolm Gladwell. We're back for season two of our Audible Original Podcast, The Unusual Suspects. We're bringing you fresh, new conversations from guests like Anderson Paak, David Zedares, Ryan Howard, Rich O, Amy Sheldon, and many more. Sign up for a free trial to Audible to listen to season two. In two in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts. Journalist Daphne Caruana Galizia spent her life exposing powerful people. Then in 2017, she was killed in a car bombing. I'm Stephen Gray, and for the past nine years, I've been trying to find out who wanted her dead. That search took me to Malta through secret companies, organized crime, and eventually to one of the island's richest and most powerful men.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  Now, after years of waiting, his trial has finally happened. But when the verdict came in, the case took a turn that almost no one had expected. In a brand new update to the multi-award winning podcast, Who Killed Daphne? I'm returning to Malta to find out how we got there and where the search for the truth goes next. Listen to the new episode of Who Killed Daphne wherever you get your podcasts, and you can hear the full six-part investigation from the beginning ad-free with Audible. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app and by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.