Pod Insights British Scandal The Case of the Missing Aristocrat | The People's Aristocrat | 3 About this episode Everything seems to have got rather out of hand. Arthur is now one of Britain’s biggest celebrities, and his fight for the Tichborne estate has become an ideological battle. Will fame assure his freedom?
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0:00 Alice Levine? Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of British Scandal ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app.
0:12 Alice Levine? There you go, Matt. There's yours.
0:14 Matt Forde? Uh, that is not the coffee I ordered.
0:16 Alice Levine? Yeah, it's an oat flat white.
0:18 Matt Forde? No, no, no. I don't have oat milk. This is just such liberal metropolitan propaganda.
0:23 Alice Levine? Okay, I mean, I think it is what you asked for, but I can just get you a different one.
0:26 Matt Forde? Look, you guys in the elitist media world think that little people like me can't make up my own mind or can't think for myself. Dairy milk is better for your bones and I have the right to choose it as a sovereign man.
0:41 Alice Levine? Okay, I really feel like we've somehow got off on the wrong foot. This seems like a major overreaction. I think maybe you asked for this, but you don't want it anymore and I can just make you something else.
0:50 Matt Forde? I tell you what an overreaction is: the elites, the elites controlling everything we do, telling me everything that I can and can't, not only say, but think, and now drink. And you're giving me this Woka latte and you don't want British men to have British coffee.
1:04 Alice Levine? I don't think we grow coffee here. Um, okay, you're really upset and like veins are popping in your forehead and stuff. So why don't I just go and make you a green tea?
1:12 Matt Forde? No, no, no. I'll choke this down.
1:16 Matt Forde? Oh, actually that's completely delicious. I take it all back. Can you tell me more about this oat milk stuff?
1:25 Alice Levine? August 1873, Hampshire, England. Alfred Seymour's carriage rattles past the railway station, his eyes narrowing at the poster of Sir Roger Tichborne's Madame Tussauds waxwork plastered across the wall.
1:41 Matt Forde? Hang on, he's got Madame Tussauds waxwork?
1:44 Alice Levine? Oh, yeah. He is the Beckham or the Cheryl Cole of the day. I always wonder if they melt down the less popular people when they become less popular and use that wax to build up somebody else, or do they just tweak?
1:59 Matt Forde? Or turn them into candles? If you've got a Yankee candle at home, I think there's a good chance that used to be, I don't know, David Miliband or...
2:09 Alice Levine? Maybe his leg at least.
2:10 Matt Forde? Yeah, Jason Orange, if you've got the orange spice one.
2:15 Alice Levine? Alfred shakes his head, mutters to himself. Madness, utter madness! He glares at a boy in tattered clothes wearing a sandwich board with the words 'Trial, latest' daubed across it. He holds up a periodical called the Tichborne News. Rated I special, The Love Story of Sir Roger and His Loyal Wife, Mary Anne.
2:41 Alice Levine? Alfred's carriage jerks to a stop outside the town's music hall.
2:46 Alice Levine? Without waiting, Alfred leaps from it, storming to the ticket seller at the head of the long queue snaking down the street. One, please. Sold out, governor, sorry. Alfred notices the doorman's eyes flicker to his leather purse. Although, I could make an exception. Alfred pulls a crown from his purse. The doorman snatches it from him, then offers Alfred a wry smile as he parts the curtain. Alfred adjusts his top hat before heading in. Inside, he's hit by the heat and noise and sheer number of people. Alfred stops in his tracks as one of the ruffs snarls at him. Down with the aristocracy! He pushes towards the stage until he finally spots him.
3:29 Alice Levine? The corrupt upper classes seek to discredit me because I scare them. And after they've dealt with me, make no mistake, they'll come for you.
3:38 Matt Forde? He's turned into Trump!
3:42 Alice Levine? The crowd erupts, frenziedly waving their ribbons and placards. Alfred looks at the morons around him, hanging on this imbecile's every word, and he feels something inside him snap. He shouts into the crowd. This man is an impostor! He is lying to you all! In a flash, the crowd falls silent. Alfred feels every pair of eyes in the room lock on him. The impostor stares at him, and then opens his mouth. This man is a Tichborne relative, and a corrupt parliamentarian. He seeks to destroy me!
4:23 Alice Levine? Alfred glances anxiously over his shoulder as the crowd explodes. He's one of them! Upper-class crooks! Get him! Down with the oppressors! Alfred is knocked off his feet, floored by the snarling mob. He takes a blow to his ribs, feels a foot stamp on his knee. He holds his hands out, desperate.
4:48 Alice Levine? Stop, I beg of you, please. But no one is listening. Alfred looks up again to see the face of the man he despises staring down at him. He takes in his cold, toothless grin. And in that moment, Alfred promises himself that if he leaves here alive, he will do everything in his power to stop Arthur Orton. Because this isn't just about the Tichborns anymore. This is about the whole social order of Great Britain.
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6:20 Alice Levine? I'm Alice Levine.
6:21 Matt Forde? And I'm Matt Ford.
6:22 Alice Levine? And this is British Scandal.
6:36 Alice Levine? So, Matt, at the end of the last episode, our hero, anti-hero, however you want to look at him, I think probably anti-hero, Arthur Orton is now facing criminal charges for pretending to be the baronet, Sir Roger Tichborne. So this kind of feels like the end of the road. He's been caught good and proper. Is there any chance of him getting out of this mess? And how could he even do that?
6:56 Matt Forde? Because this is British scandal, I think we should discount the idea that he would ever come clean.
7:01 Alice Levine? Oh, Lord, no. I mean, who has ever done that in the history of the show? I mean, why would you?
7:04 Matt Forde? No, and he's more likely, given our canon, to plan a jailbreak, or abscond to another country, or fake his own death.
7:11 Alice Levine? All tried and tested methods.
7:13 Matt Forde? And some have sort of worked for some of our protagonists in the past. But given Arthur Orton's skill set, you can't rule out something quite spectacular, because this is a man who, and it sounds mad to us that he could ever convince anyone of this, he is a very large butcher, who's been living in Australia, who's been able to convince people that he is a thin, slender aristocrat from England, including Roger Tichborne's mum. So we can never underestimate this guy. And there is part of him, as well as, he's doing this for the money and he wants to save face. He clearly enjoys the theatricality of all this. He loves the attention and he loves showing off. And that is something he has the potential to weaponise.
7:55 Alice Levine? Oh, Matt, you are a veteran of these tales and you have mystic capabilities, because I think you are on the right track. Things are about to take a very, very strange turn. This is episode three, The People's Aristocrat.
8:11 Alice Levine? Eighteen months earlier, March 1872, Newgate Prison, London.
8:18 Alice Levine? In his dank grey cell, Arthur Orton sits on his straw-filled sack on the floor, trying to take in what his solicitor has just told him. Fourteen years? The solicitor nods gravely. You're charged with wilful and corrupt perjury. A gust of wind blows through the small barred window, sending a foul waft from the pisspot in the corner. Arthur wrinkles his nose in disgust.
8:45 Alice Levine? I'm also struggling to find anyone to represent you. Alfred Tichborne has powerful friends and very few QC's wish to go against him.
8:56 Alice Levine? Although... Arthur eyeballs his solicitor as he trails off. What? Spit it out. There is one man who's expressed an interest. Edward Caneely. But he's rather eccentric and... Arthur shakes his head. Get him in. Let me hear what he has to say.
9:22 Alice Levine? An hour later, Arthur looks up as his cell door slams open. In walks a small weasel of a man with dark wavy hair and a wiry beard. The man grabs Arthur's hand, shakes it enthusiastically. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir Roger. I read about your case in the press. Not that I trust the fourth estate to report it accurately. They are so often in the pocket of the oppressors. Arthur stays on him, urging him to go on. It is my belief, Sir Roger, that the British aristocracy and this country's legal system conspired to prevent you from winning your civil case, and that they intend to do so again in your criminal trial. Why do you suppose they would do that? Caneely laughs bitterly.
10:06 Alice Levine? Because you scared him. Your appearance, the fact you lived among the lower classes, that you mixed with them happily. They fear a man like you rejoining their ranks would open the floodgates, lead to a workers' revolt. Arthur feels his heartbeat quicken. But before he can ask to hear more, his solicitor pulls him aside, lowers his voice. Thing about Mr. Caneely is, he's rather a loose cannon and... The solicitor hesitates, reduces his voice to a whisper. He's been in jail himself for whipping his illegitimate six-year-old son. Arthur looks back at Caneely. Then he knows how it feels to suffer in this squalor. He'll work all the harder for me because of it.
10:51 Alice Levine? Arthur doesn't wait for an answer. He turns to Caneely and grins. Mr. Caneely, I shall be delighted to have you on board. Arthur grips Caneely's hand. With this man in his corner, he has a real chance of turning this around. The fight for freedom starts now.
11:14 Matt Forde? Really feels like Caneely is taking this in a completely different direction. He's doing what a lot of people do when they radicalise people is to say, "Your struggle isn't just about you and this particular estate. Your struggle is part of a wider societal narrative about the establishment and effectively class war."
11:32 Alice Levine? What's essential and seems mad to us is that for him to make Arthur, Roger Tichborne, his poster boy for this cause, he has to believe him. He seems to have fallen for it like everybody else.
11:46 Alice Levine? One week later, Speaker's Corner, Hyde Park. Arthur holds a newspaper over his head to protect him from the pouring rain. He looks from the ranting preacher on his left to the two-bit magician pulling scarves from a lady's ear on his right. Then Arthur moves his eyes to Caneely, who stands beside him on an upturned wooden crate, addressing the dwindling passersby. All we ask is that this man, Sir Roger Tichborne, is allowed a fair trial, like any other Englishman. Arthur knows he should never have agreed to come here. Caneely's convinced him this is the quickest way to raise funds for the trial. But Arthur is starting to heed his solicitor's warning that Caneely has a few screws loose.
12:30 Alice Levine? He peers into his top hat on the ground, filling with water rather than coins. Exasperated, he nudges Caneely. Let me try. Arthur attempts to climb onto the crate, but his foot goes through the wooden slats and he crashes to the ground. A few passersby stop to laugh.
12:51 Alice Levine? Furious, Arthur pushes himself back up and screams into the rain.
12:57 Alice Levine? I am Roger Charles Doughty Tichborne, the rightful heir to the Tichborne Estate, and I am trying to reclaim what is mine by birth and by right. And it ain't just my fight, it's the fight for every man and woman who's ever been cast aside by those more powerful than they.
13:18 Matt Forde? Yeah!
13:19 Alice Levine? Eh, eh!
13:20 Matt Forde? You tell 'em!
13:21 Alice Levine? You're a crook and you're a come-on, but woo!
13:25 Alice Levine? Arthur hears a few murmurs of approval. He raises his voice. "The rich think they can snatch what they please. Silence those who have less with their gold and their influence. But I say, we will not be silenced any longer." There's a ripple of applause. A man steps forward, tugs Arthur's jacket. "I know you. You was in the papers, saying you was a baronet." Arthur grins, puffs his chest out. "That's right, I am a baronet. They don't believe me because I associate with everyday folks like you. And now they wish to silence me for good. But I will fight them with every fibre of my being."
14:09 Alice Levine? An hour later, Arthur looks into the hat and scoops out a fistful of pennies. He can't believe how generous people have been. It's a reminder of just how many working-class people of this city feel ignored by those in power. And now Arthur realises their real value: as foot soldiers. With their help, he could even try to discredit the whole system. In fact, the British working classes could actually be his key to winning.
14:46 Alice Levine? One year later, the 23rd of April 1873. Court of the Queen's Bench, London. Prosecuting barrister Henry Hawkins pushes his way through a gang of reporters as he approaches the courthouse. Reaching at steps, he's met by an unruly rabble.
15:03 Speaker 04 "Justice for Sir Roger, justice for Sir Roger."
15:07 Alice Levine? Hawkins narrows his eyes in contempt. As one of the country's leading QC's, he isn't used to this lack of deference. He waits for the group to part and let him through. He's shocked when, instead, they seem to close in. He tries to push past them, only for his tie-wig to be pulled from his head and thrown around like a football. Hawkins stares in horror as one man puts it on, adopting a posh accent. "I say, I say, I say." What home, my lord. Hawkins snatches it back and pushes through the scrum. When another hand grabs him, he feels his fist tighten, ready to fight back.
15:49 Alice Levine? To his relief, it's a guard, pulling him into the sanctuary of the courthouse.
15:55 Alice Levine? Shaken, Hawkins looks at the ripped sleeve of his gown and places his wig back on his head. Keep those goddamn doors shut. I don't want that scum in here. Hawkins has read the ridiculous lies Orton and his followers have been spouting to the press. But he hadn't realised until today just how much it had stirred up the masses. He consoles himself with the fact that he's on his turf now, where such propaganda has no sway. But as he strides into the courtroom and sets eyes on the jury, he darkens. It's clear from their shabby attire that all are working class.
16:34 Matt Forde? I mean, not all working class people are scruffy. I just want to defend my people.
16:38 Alice Levine? And you look very smart today, unless you're not wearing a football shirt after I offended you three years ago.
16:43 Matt Forde? That actually is the former forest manager Steve Cooper embroidered on my jumper. So I'll find a way round it.
16:50 Alice Levine? Hawkins looks for the first time at the defendant. He's sitting there next to his crackpot lawyer, wearing a suit made by one of London's finest tailors, despite pleading poverty. Can't bloody win, can you? What do you want?
17:05 Matt Forde? Just sort of mid-level. What would that be? What was the next of its day?
17:10 Alice Levine? Smart Cage, High Street.
17:11 Matt Forde? Jacket and jeans. Go Clarkson. You can't lose.
17:14 Alice Levine? Jeans and shiz.
17:15 Matt Forde? You know what? It's a maligned look. It kind of works, doesn't it?
17:19 Alice Levine? Takes you from day to night.
17:23 Matt Forde? It really does.
17:25 Alice Levine? Hawkins feels his anger rise. How dare he try to diminish the validity of the justice meted out within these walls? Of the systems he and his esteemed colleagues have upheld for so long. It only makes him more determined as he calls his first witness, a middle-aged Whappingite called Mary Ann Loder.
17:45 Matt Forde? And this is a different Mary Ann to the other Mary Ann?
17:47 Alice Levine? Just another Mary Ann. Just a very popular name of the day.
17:51 Speaker 05 Miss Loder, please tell the court how you know the defendant?
17:56 Alice Levine? We was teenage sweethearts, before he set sail for the new world.
18:01 Speaker 05 And your sweetheart's name was Arthur Orton, is that correct?
18:07 Alice Levine? Yes, that man there. She points directly at Arthur. Hawkins can hardly contain his glee as Arthur seems to squirm in his seat. He sits and watches Arthur's lawyer Caneely walk over to the witness box. Miss Loder, can you honestly swear under oath, with no doubt whatsoever, that this man is Arthur Orton? Or is it that you've been pressured to say this by those who wish to undermine him? Hawkins jumps to his feet.
18:41 Speaker 05 I object, Your Honour. What is Mr Caneely trying to imply?
18:46 Alice Levine? The judge gives Caneely a scolding look.
18:48 Speaker 05 Stick to questions, please, Mr Caneely. You may have whipped up quite a following with this kind of talk on the streets, but it won't wash in here.
18:56 Alice Levine? Hawkins relaxes as Caneely curtly nods his head. The judge addresses the witness directly.
19:04 Speaker 05 Miss Loder, you will answer the first part of the question.
19:09 Alice Levine? Hawkins hears a few murmurs from the gallery, phrases like "bloody toff judge" and "class conspiracy". He eyes the witness, willing her to stay strong. Arthur Orton was my first love, you never forget that. I've no doubt whatever that the defendant is he. Hawkins can see the frustration on Caneely's face as Mary Ann leaves the stand. Orton may have popular opinion on his side, he may have a sympathetic jury. But Hawkins has the rules of the courtroom, the cold hard facts, and countless witnesses to back them up. He's certain the truth and the establishment will win out in the end.
19:57 Alice Levine? Five weeks later, May 1873, Court of the Queen's Bench, London. Arthur trains his eyes on the witness box, where an army captain is being grilled by Hawkins. Arthur forces himself to listen as yet another witness refutes his claim that he's Sir Roger.
20:17 Speaker 05 And you can confirm Sir Roger did have the tattoos described by the previous nine witnesses. Tattoos that this man, in the dock, does not.
20:27 Alice Levine? Arthur catches Hawkins' eye as he points at him.
20:30 Speaker 05 The real Sir Roger did. I saw them many times.
20:34 Alice Levine? Arthur anxiously glances at the near-empty public gallery, where a couple of reporters stifle yawns. Arthur's taken a battering the past few weeks, and he's starting to lose public interest. He grimaces as the old bore drones on.
20:49 Speaker 05 I suppose Sir Roger thought the tattoos would make him more... manly.
20:55 Matt Forde? Don't all guys who have tattoos think that?
20:57 Alice Levine? I'm making an assumption here that you don't have any tattoos.
21:00 Matt Forde? Correct.
21:00 Alice Levine? Would you ever get a tattoo?
21:02 Matt Forde? If... and I've thought about this a lot. If the law said we had to, for whatever reason. Well, tattoo parlors might need a fiscal stimulus package or something. I would get the Nottingham Forest crest, either on my upper arm or shoulder blade.
21:19 Alice Levine? You know, some people get tattoos next to scars. Would you ever embellish your scar with a kind of, like, comical...
21:29 Matt Forde? I guess... I'd need a big tattoo.
21:33 Alice Levine? It's a big old scar, yeah.
21:34 Matt Forde? Because it looks like a shark bite across my lower back. I guess I could add, like, fake teeth marks and bloodstains to it to make it look more like a shark bite.
21:42 Alice Levine? Say no more. The British scandal team have been thinking about what to get you for Christmas. Just leave it with, just leave it with.
21:47 Matt Forde? Okay. But I want to emphasise, I would like it tastefully done.
21:50 Alice Levine? Oh, gosh, of course. Photo reel. Arthur looks up as the captain smiles to himself.
21:57 Speaker 05 I'm afraid we had a rather unfortunate nickname for him. What was that?
22:02 Alice Levine? Arthur watches as the captain hesitates.
22:04 Speaker 05 Um... Small cock. The mentioned defendant was unusually tiny. I'd rather say no more with ladies present.
22:14 Matt Forde? I love that he's been polite after calling the guy small cock. I mean, we bullied him for having a tiny penis, but I wouldn't want to talk about it in front of women.
22:22 Alice Levine? Also, didn't ask. I asked about the tattoos. There was no need to bring that up. Thank you. Arthur turns as a few people chuckle. His mind races. He nudges Caneely. Quick, ask for recess. Caneely looks puzzled.
22:41 Alice Levine? Ten minutes later, Arthur watches everyone file back into the courtroom. He blinks as the judge begins to speak.
22:49 Speaker 05 Mr. Caneely, I have had all the ladies removed as requested.
22:54 Alice Levine? Arthur sees a look of confusion flash across Hawkins' face. Gentlemen, as you heard from the last witness, Sir Roger was known for his unfeasibly small member. Arthur feels his heart thud as he slowly pulls his large frame from his seat.
23:11 Matt Forde? Oh, man. Surely not.
23:15 Alice Levine? He feels an electricity course through the air as he shuffles into the centre of the courtroom. He glances at the gallery, at the jury, strains to find his belt buckle beneath his hefty gut.
23:29 Alice Levine? He hesitates. Is he really going to do this in a court of law? But eyeing the reporters, their pens poised over their pads for the first time in weeks, he knows he must. He unclasps his belt. And hears his trousers fall to his ankles with a thud. Arthur slips his thumbs under his briefs. All he can hear is his own laboured breathing in silence. He pauses, raises his chin, fixes his eyes on Lady Justice, and starts to slowly slip down his drawers.
24:06 Alice Levine? I really don't approve of the pace that he's chosen for this. He's doing a striptease. Like, if it's gonna feel like it's for evidence purposes, you've just gotta drop trow. He can't be doing all this, like, hand in the belt loop, shaking the hips.
24:21 Matt Forde? Do you really wanna see it?
24:23 Alice Levine? Keneely shouts over the chaos. As you can see, my client has the same small cock DeWittness so helpfully alluded to. You know, we were saying that he's incredibly lucky, Arthur Orton. He's got the eye twitch, he's got the ankle scar. What are the chances that he also has a micropenis? That's so damn lucky. And he's never thought that before, I'm sure. But in this moment...
24:47 Matt Forde? I don't know what the stats are on micropeni, but the odds must be that at least one juror had one and therefore would have felt a sense of kinship and thought, you know what? I'm sick of my people being attacked like this.
25:00 Alice Levine? Arthur feels the cool air pass between his exposed thighs. He looks around the court. Some jurors wear expressions of horror, others disbelief. In the public gallery, the reporters frantically scribble. He's sure he can even see one trying to do a sketch.
25:19 Speaker 05 Order! Order!
25:21 Alice Levine? Arthur stands proud. And now it dawns on him. He's never doing better than when he's putting on a show. Addressing people on his terms, ripping up the rulebook. He knows exactly how to give his case a shot in the arm. He'll spend the days he's not in court on the road. He's going to fill this courtroom with so many supporters, fill this country with so many cheerleaders, that the judge and jury won't know what's hit them. He's going to create a movement of the masses. A movement the establishment will find it impossible to ignore. A movement that will bring the entire dirty, rotten system to its knees.
26:10 Matt Forde? This is obviously a bit of fun.
26:12 Alice Levine? The most fun we've had in ages, in fact. I love that.
26:14 Matt Forde? We've never had this before in British Scandal. But also, he's going down a completely different route with this. He's prepared to do anything, including effectively become a populist politician in order to keep this lie going.
26:29 Alice Levine? It's almost like, at this point, he believes that he's Sir Roger. He's, for all intents and purposes, got all of the baggage, the kind of victim complex of somebody who isn't being accepted back into his rightful position as a member of the aristocracy, even though it's a con. He kind of has the righteousness of somebody who feels like the system is against him.
26:53 Matt Forde? And that's what really effective populists also have, as well as the ability to entertain and to mobilise people, is, at their heart, you feel, a genuine sense that they've been wronged, that the system is against them, regardless of all their privilege and relative success and everything else. They all do seem to believe that the world is actually against them, despite a lot of evidence to the contrary.
27:14 Alice Levine? Who else do you think of that fits that paradigm?
27:17 Matt Forde? Oh yeah, especially the Small Willie bit.
27:21 Speaker 06 Journalist Tristan Redman goes where no son-in-law should ever go. Deep into his wife's family history, digging up the cold case of who murdered her great-grandmother. Because, I should mention, he thinks the murderer might actually be the beloved family patriarch. For the best binge-watch series like Ghost Story, listen to the Audible True Crime Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
27:41 Matt Forde? Alice, have you ever wondered why the Mini is so small?
27:45 Alice Levine? The skirt or the Magnum?
27:47 Matt Forde? Well, I meant the iconic British car. Because in 1956, Britain's oil supply was suddenly cut off. Petrol rationing was brought in and the car industry was scrambling around for a vehicle that hardly used any fuel. Enter the Mini.
28:01 Alice Levine? Interesting, but actually not technically British Scandal series material.
28:06 Matt Forde? Well, the reason they had to save petrol is because the Prime Minister started a war and lied about why.
28:12 Alice Levine? Okay, Scandal siren going off.
28:14 Matt Forde? I'm Matt Ford.
28:15 Alice Levine? And I'm Alice Levine.
28:16 Matt Forde? And our latest British Scandal series involves a secret meeting in a French villa, a Prime Minister running on amphetamines.
28:22 Alice Levine? An Egyptian president that everyone fancied, the end of the British Empire, and at the heart of it, a canal.
28:29 Matt Forde? This is the story of the Suez Plot.
28:32 Alice Levine? Follow British Scandal wherever you get your podcasts, or listen early and ad-free on Audible.
28:50 Alice Levine? August 1873, Hampshire, England. Arthur looks through the window of his Wedgwood blue carriage, eyes widening, as fireworks illuminate the night sky. A brass band strikes up as he and his wife Mary Anne step from the coach. Mary Anne whispers in Arthur's ear.
29:12 Alice Levine? "Can you believe this? All for you." Arthur blinks back tears of joy. "There must be thousands here." It's his biggest audience yet. As he takes a step towards the nearby music hall, a woman faints at his feet. Arthur waves at the sea of people as he takes to the stage and launches into his routine.
29:35 Alice Levine? "My name is Sir Roger Tichborne, and I am the victim of an infamous conspiracy." He ushers Mary Anne and his six-year-old daughter from the wings, gestures to the rags they're cloaked in. "How my beloved wife and our little girl have suffered, penniless and starving while the courts drag out their lies." Mary Anne stumbles, as if weak with hunger. Arthur glances into the crowd to check his team is in place. He nods at a young man, who on cue rushes onto the stage to help Mary Anne. Arthur paints on a look of surprise. "Thank you, young man. What is your name?" "It's Fred, Sir Roger."
30:19 Alice Levine? Arthur smiles, grateful. "Can I ask what you do, Fred?" "I'm a blacksmith's apprentice." Arthur looks shocked. "Then you must be of modest means." "I'm moved that you'd pay to be here."
30:33 Matt Forde? "They paid to be here?"
30:35 Alice Levine? "You gotta monetise those rallies, baby." "I'll do it because I believe in fairness and truth, Sir Roger. Here." The boy takes a penny from his pocket and drops it into the battered hat at the front of the stage. More people surge forward, adding coins, when a familiar voice sends a shiver down Arthur's spine.
30:57 Speaker 05 Is an impostor. He is lying to you all.
31:01 Alice Levine? Arthur is momentarily frozen as he locks eyes with his old enemy, Alfred Seymour. He looks at Mary Ann, her face etched with fear as the hall falls deathly silent.
31:14 Speaker 05 This, this is a Chichester relative and a corrupt parliamentarian. He seeks to destroy me.
31:23 Alice Levine? To Arthur's shock, the rabble around Alfred start pulling his coat angrily.
31:28 Speaker 05 He's one of the upper-class crook. Get him down with the oppressors.
31:34 Alice Levine? Arthur watches as a mob surrounds Alfred, punching him to the ground. His horror quickly turns to excitement. He's never felt more powerful. He's got his own army and he's not going to stop until the entire establishment is silenced into submission.
31:57 Matt Forde? He's gone from loving the thrill of the entertainment element to loving the thrill of the violence and the dark places this might lead.
32:05 Alice Levine? Yeah, we've gone from the pomp and stage spectacle of dropping trow in court to really quite dark, violent behaviour that he's inciting. September 1873, Court of the Queen's Bench, London. Henry Hawkins paces in front of the witness box, struggling to hide his frustration. He turns to the unkempt woman he's cross-examining, gives her his sternest look.
32:36 Speaker 05 You expect the court to believe that after giving an original statement for the prosecution, that the defendant is Arthur Orton? You're now certain he is not?
32:50 Alice Levine? The witness nods. The officer what took my first statement was a beast. I was scared, so I said what he wanted me to. Hawkins reddens, his anger rising.
33:02 Speaker 05 Just as the last defence witness claimed and the one before that.
33:08 Alice Levine? Hawkins grimaces as a few jurors chuckle. Even the author, George Eliot, lets out a little laugh. She's squeezed into the public gallery along with hundreds of others. This trial is now the hottest ticket in town.
33:23 Speaker 05 This is no laughing matter.
33:26 Alice Levine? To Hawkins' horror, the judge intervenes.
33:29 Speaker 05 Mr. Hawkins, our days are long. We can all use a little levity.
33:35 Matt Forde? Even the judge is on board with it. Imagine the judge being like, "Lighten up, mate. Have a giggle." Yes, you may be sentenced to death, but can we just have a chuckle along the way?
33:45 Alice Levine? Hawkins burns with fury.
33:49 Alice Levine? When the court adjourns for lunch, he meets with his clerk.
33:53 Speaker 05 Who is the defence calling this afternoon? Ten army officers, all swear Sir Roger never had a tattoo.
34:00 Alice Levine? Hawkins throws his wig down. They're interrupted by a knock on the door. Hawkins gasps as his friend Alfred Seymour limps in, sporting a black eye and a badly swollen lip.
34:14 Speaker 05 Alfred, my god, what happened? That infernal impostor and his wretched rallies. Something must be done.
34:23 Alice Levine? Hawkins tries to scramble an answer.
34:26 Speaker 05 I'm still confident that a cross-examination...
34:29 Alice Levine? Alfred bangs his fist on the table, stunning Hawkins into silence.
34:33 Speaker 05 God damn it, man. You know as well as I do that it won't be enough. He's destroying us, in and out of court. What happened to me could just as easily happen to you on these streets. Mark my words.
34:48 Alice Levine? Hawkins takes in Alfred's battered face, realising he's right. He looks at the thick, well-leaved law books on his desk. It strikes him that they're no longer serving him.
35:00 Speaker 05 All right. If Orton wants...
35:02 Alice Levine? Establishment conspiracy? Let's give him one. Hawkins knows what they have to do. Fight fire with fire. They will close ranks, use every bit of power they have, and shut Arthur Orton up once and for all.
35:23 Alice Levine? September 1873, Court of the Queen's Bench, London. Edward Caneley's face darkens as he rises in court and stares in disbelief at the bench. The prosecution must have asked to change the judge. Arthur nudges him. Who's that? Caneley looks at his client, tries to hide his concern as he hears himself mutter, "Lord Justice Coburn." Coburn beckons Caneley to the bench. He makes his way towards the new judge. As he does, he catches sight of the public gallery. He stops in confusion, stares at the array of faces.
36:05 Alice Levine? Every working-class supporter has been replaced with a top hat and lace bonnet-wearing toff. Caneley turns in confusion as he's told.
36:14 Speaker 05 Mr. Caneley, the defendant will desist from attending public gatherings for the remainder of this trial. Failure to do so will result in his bail being revoked.
36:24 Alice Levine? Caneley is outraged. He feels his blood rise to his head. His fists clench. He's about to object when Coburn announces the first witness of the day.
36:35 Speaker 05 The Court calls Andrew Bogle.
36:39 Matt Forde? Okay, this is interesting because Bogle really was the first person who doubted Arthur and was then convinced by him. Obviously, gave him a tonne of intel unwittingly, but ultimately was his key to convincing a lot of the other people that really was Roger Tichborne.
36:55 Speaker 05 Mr. Bogle, is it not true that you decided to return to England after finding your pension payments from the Tichborns could not sustain your life in Australia?
37:07 Alice Levine? Caneley feels his heartbeat quicken as Bogle hesitates before answering.
37:12 Speaker 05 I also missed working for the family.
37:14 Alice Levine? Caneley moves his eyes to Hawkins, who chuckles cynically.
37:19 Speaker 05 Or perhaps you read in the Sydney Press about a man claiming to be Sir Roger returning to England, and you saw your chance to make far more money.
37:29 Alice Levine? I object, Your Honour, this is pure speculation. Justice Coburn gives a dismissive wave. Caneley reluctantly sits. But to his horror, instead of letting Bogle answer, Hawkins moves straight on.
37:44 Speaker 05 So you tracked the man down and you struck up a deal? You would feed him information in return for a generous sum once the Tichborne Estate was his?
37:54 Alice Levine? Caneley jumps up again. This is nothing more than fantastical theorising. I demand— But Coburn's eyes narrow as he snaps back.
38:04 Speaker 05 Once again, your objection is overruled. Sit down, Mr. Caneley.
38:10 Alice Levine? But Caneley's fury is too great. He slams his fists on the table. This court is a joke, and you are a venomous spider at the centre of a sticky web woven by a corrupt establishment.
38:22 Matt Forde? Your Honour.
38:24 Alice Levine? Mr. Caneley, I had hoped you would keep your famous temper out of this court. Will you also be attempting to beat us, the way you like to beat children?
38:36 Matt Forde? Whoa, this judge, he went there.
38:39 Alice Levine? Spicy!
38:43 Alice Levine? There are gasps from the gallery. Caneley can hardly speak as Coburn declares the day's session finished.
38:51 Alice Levine? He watches stunned as the court starts to empty until it's just him and Sir Roger left standing alone in the centre of the room. Caneley turns to Sir Roger. I'm so sorry. I fear the odds have turned and I've irretrievably weakened us. But to his surprise, Sir Roger shakes his head. Don't worry, my friend. I have an idea.
39:13 Matt Forde? Yeah, you don't need to get your cock out now, mate.
39:15 Alice Levine? Caneley feels a rush of hope surge through him as he sees a small smile on his client's face. If the rules change, then we change with them. His client can always be counted on to pull another rabbit from the hat. Caneley just hopes he saved the best for last.
39:38 Alice Levine? Two weeks later, October 1873, Court of the Queen's Bench, London. Arthur takes a deep breath and glances at Caneely as he stands to call their final witness. A tall man enters the courtroom. His bald head is bronzed by the sun. A long grey beard cascades down his chest. Tell me more.
40:00 Matt Forde? Can we see his, please?
40:04 Alice Levine? I don't love a beard that cascades down the chest. I will say that.
40:09 Matt Forde? Too long.
40:10 Alice Levine? Too long. It just isn't in practicality, isn't it? Like, I like a beard on a man, if they like a beard on themselves, of course. I think if it's a kind of soup impediment, I think if you're getting it caught in coat zips, you're really choosing aesthetics over practicality, aren't you? Please tell the court your name and occupation. The man speaks with a French accent. I am Jean Louis and I am a sailor. In 1854, you joined a ship sailing to Melbourne called the Osprey, did you not? Yes, we were allotted to a small boat carrying six men. Two were rowing. The others lay in such a state they knew nothing about themselves. Arthur feels a familiar buzz. This man is good, really good.
40:55 Alice Levine? Is one of those men in this courtroom? Yes. Jean Louis points at Arthur. Hushed murmurs echo around the room. He was most deranged as we sailed to Melbourne, but he asked to be called by the name Roger. Now there are gasps. He spoke like a gentleman. I took care of him over the next few months. In thanks, he gave me this. Caneely approaches and takes an item from his hand. He holds it up for the jury. Let it be noted that the witness has produced a silver snuff box inscribed with the letters RCT, the same initials as Roger Charles Tetchborne.
41:40 Alice Levine? Arthur smiles as louder gasps fill the courtroom. He watches the prosecution barrister Hawkins rise to his feet. Mr Louis, you did not... Not come forward before, why not? News is scarce at sea. I have only just learned of this man's need. Arthur smiles as Jeanne looks at the judge, a little aggrieved. I am here now. You can question me all you like, but the facts do not change.
42:07 Matt Forde? The French just have a way, don't they? I mean, that, that self-belief in a moment like this.
42:13 Alice Levine? The insouciance.
42:14 Matt Forde? It's so cool.
42:16 Alice Levine? I'm imagining him smoking, and in a Breton.
42:20 Matt Forde? And on a bike.
42:22 Alice Levine? Arthur enjoys that Jeanne looks at the judge, a little aggrieved. Arthur smiles, but then he notices Hawkins is still standing.
42:30 Speaker 05 If it pleases the court, we wish to call a rebuttal witness.
42:35 Alice Levine? Arthur shoots Caneely a confused look as a man enters the witness box. He watches in horror as the rebuttal witness introduces himself to the court as a warder from Chatham Prison.
42:48 Speaker 05 Do you recognise anyone in this courtroom?
42:51 Alice Levine? Arthur's heart races as the warder points to the public gallery where Jeanne now sits.
42:57 Speaker 05 Are you pointing to the man who testified just moments ago as ship steward Jean Louis?
43:04 Alice Levine? Arthur catches Hawkins' eye as he turns and fixes him with a look.
43:09 Speaker 05 Yes, his name ain't Jean Louis. It's Carl Lundgren. He's a serial swindler. And how do you know this?
43:18 Alice Levine? The warder chuckles.
43:20 Speaker 05 Because he was released from Chatham last month after a two-year stretch.
43:26 Matt Forde? Oh, man. If you're gonna find a swindler, find one that hasn't just been released from prison.
43:30 Alice Levine? But all the other ones are in prison.
43:34 Alice Levine? Arthur feels his lunch rise back up in his throat as the courtroom bursts into gasps and chatter. In the midst of it all, Hawkins turns to the judge.
43:45 Speaker 05 Your Honor, we have several more witnesses who will testify to Lundgren's true identity. We also have papers to prove he's used a number of aliases, under which he's committed crimes, including theft and bigamy.
43:59 Alice Levine? Arthur eyes Caneely, but he seems too stunned to object. Hawkins goes on.
44:05 Speaker 05 This man is a liar, a thief, and a con man. It is no wonder he's been drawn to help Arthur Orton. They have much in common.
44:16 Alice Levine? Arthur jumps to his feet.
44:17 Speaker 05 Lies, more lies. Jury, they seek to destroy me.
44:23 Alice Levine? He can hear the panic in his own voice. And now, instead of doubt in the jurors' eyes, Arthur sees disgust. And from the gallery, instead of cheers, he hears murmurs of dissent. He wants to keep shouting, keep performing, but it seems he's lost his captive audience. And now, he can only wonder: is he about to lose his freedom, too?
44:55 Speaker 07 By 1779, Benedict Arnold had sacrificed more for the Revolution than almost any other man in America. One of George Washington's most effective commanders, he had nearly lost a leg in the Second Battle of Saratoga. But in return, Arnold believed he had been humiliated by Congress and cheated of his glory by lesser men, so he decided to make them pay. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of the podcast American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history: presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, Benedict Arnold turns his back on his comrades in the Continental Army and secretly defects to the British. With the help of his wife,
45:36 Speaker 07 he plots to hand over the most important colonial fortress to the enemy and doom the Revolution he once served. Follow American Scandal wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes of American Scandal early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.
45:58 Speaker 06 Except it's not your usual morning jog. You started listening to an epic sci-fi book on Audible. Thirty chapters later, you've accidentally run a half marathon. You've lost track of how far you've run, somewhere just past the city limits. You can't stop, you have to find out what happens next. Then it's over. The universe seems bigger. You feel different. You feel like you have no idea where you are. Audible, stories that speak to you.
46:34 Alice Levine? January 1874, Court of the Queen's Bench, London. Arthur stares at his feet, his thudding heart amplified in the pin-drop silence. Like him, the whole court seems to be holding its breath. Finally, Justice Coburn addresses the foreman of the jury. How do you find the defendant? Arthur forces himself to look up into the foreman's eyes.
47:01 Speaker 05 Guilty.
47:03 Alice Levine? Arthur finds himself trembling as Justice Coburn looks his way. Arthur Orton, the law that fixes the sentence authorized by the court never dreamt of circumstances so aggravated to exist as your case. Therefore, the punishment I am to assign is wholly inadequate to your offence.
47:24 Matt Forde? OK, that sounds slightly positive. I'm going to get away with this.
47:30 Alice Levine? Arthur looks into the public gallery, where Mary Ann directs her eyes skyward. Arthur knows she's praying he'll get just two or three years. He does the same.
47:41 Speaker 05 I sentence you to only fourteen years hard labour.
47:49 Matt Forde? Is this guy joking? Only?
47:52 Alice Levine? All these judges want a bit of razzmatazz, don't they?
47:54 Matt Forde? I think they want to be able to say to the other judges, wherever they get together in chambers, "Yes, and I said I sentenced you to only fourteen years hard labour." Oh, yes, he cried.
48:04 Alice Levine? Oh, you should have seen their faces. Yeah, no, the wife devastated. Yeah, yeah. You've got to, you've got to find the fun where you can find it. Arthur struggles to catch his breath.
48:14 Speaker 05 May I be allowed to reply, my lord?
48:17 Alice Levine? Arthur sees pure hatred in Justice Coburn's eyes.
48:20 Speaker 05 No!
48:22 Alice Levine? Arthur feels the guards roughly handle his arms as they slap iron cuffs onto his wrists. Justice Coburn addresses them firmly.
48:31 Speaker 05 See to it that he's led out the back way. We'll have no more stirring up of the masses.
48:37 Alice Levine? Half an hour later, Arthur is taken through the giant gates of Newgate Prison.
48:43 Alice Levine? A warder removes his cuffs.
48:45 Speaker 05 Turn out your pockets!
48:47 Alice Levine? Arthur does as he says. All he has to show for the last nine years is six shillings, a few postage stamps, and a comb. But he has no time to dwell. He feels his stomach churn as the warder pushes him through the cold, dark halls until they reach a tin tub, where he's forced to strip and bathe in ice-cold water. Then he staggers towards his tiny cell.
49:11 Speaker 05 Come on, Orton, get inside!
49:13 Alice Levine? Arthur slowly turns around, looks the warder dead in the eyes.
49:18 Speaker 05 I will only answer to my real name, Sir Roger Tichborne.
49:23 Alice Levine? The warder snorts, then pushes him through the cell door. Arthur holds his head high. In his heart, he's a Tichborne, a baronet no less. He's not going to forget that, and he knows his loyal supporters won't either.
49:44 Matt Forde? I shouldn't be surprised, because I know that some people's capacity for self-deception is incredible, and we see that a lot in the modern era. But it's still shocking and kind of depressing that he is sticking to this.
49:57 Alice Levine? It's such a common thing, isn't it? That idea that you've told a lie for so long and so many people are on board with that lie, that you just sort of hit the reset button and that becomes reality. And that's why people like this are so dangerous, because you can't throw truth at them, you can't throw inconsistencies or lies at them, because they aren't operating from that same rulebook.
50:21 Matt Forde? And also, because these people will always entertain quite a substantial amount of the public, they're held to a different standard.
50:32 Alice Levine? Eleven years later, December 1884, Wilton's Music Hall, East London. On stage, Arthur blinks against the bright theatre lights. He tries not to let the sight of so many empty seats distract him as he paces the floor, telling his story.
50:49 Speaker 05 As if my wrongful conviction was not enough for one man to suffer. On my release, three months back, I learned my wife had run off with another man.
50:59 Alice Levine? Arthur dabs his eye with a hanky.
51:01 Speaker 05 It's another cross I must bear. But I, Sir Roger Tichborne, will not give up. I will never stop protesting. I will never let the establishment win.
51:14 Alice Levine? Arthur takes a bow to muted applause. He leaves the stage, crossing with the compare, who quickly addresses the audience.
51:22 Speaker 05 Thank you, Sir Roger. And next up at Sanger Circus, the act you've been waiting for. Put your hands together for Albert Miggs and his dancing bear, Delilah.
51:34 Matt Forde? That's what Britain's Got Talent, in the 1800s. That's what BGT has really missed, is a populist conspiracy theorist in amongst all the dancing dogs.
51:45 Alice Levine? Just monologuing.
51:48 Alice Levine? Organ music strikes up as a man yanks a drugged-up bear past Arthur and on to the stage to rapturous applause. Arthur sighs. He never thought he'd be jealous of a furry animal.
52:01 Matt Forde? Because it's got a bigger, um...
52:07 Alice Levine? He heads out onto the London streets. Feeling the chill of the bitter night air, Arthur reaches into his pocket for his gloves. As he does, he lifts out the card he was given by a reporter from the People newspaper on his release from prison.
52:23 Alice Levine? One of the many who's offered him a generous sum in exchange for the exclusive they all want: A full confession that he's Arthur Orton. Arthur turns it over on his fingers. He's deep in thought when he feels a gentle tap on his arm. There, standing before him, is one of the most beautiful young women he's ever seen. She wears a blue leotard covered in sparkling stones and a crown of feathers in her long blonde hair. Mr. Tichborne, uh, I mean Sir Roger, I'm Lily Enover. I just joined Mr. Sanger's dance troupe. Uh, I wanted to say, uh, I think you're amazing.
53:05 Alice Levine? Arthur stares at her, genuinely surprised.
53:09 Speaker 05 You do?
53:10 Alice Levine? I love listening to you each night. You're not really leaving, are ya?
53:15 Alice Levine? Arthur looks into her wide, innocent eyes.
53:18 Speaker 05 No, no, I'm not going anywhere. Uh, I wonder if you'd care to talk more over a nip of brandy? I've got some back in my caravan.
53:30 Alice Levine? Lily blushingly nods. That'd be lovely. Arthur leads the way, scrunching up the reporter's card and tossing it away. This was never just about the money. He's a man of the people, a baronet. There are still opportunities that present themselves to Sir Roger. Opportunities he would never be able to enjoy as plain old Arthur Orton. For better or worse, he's made his choice. He will be Sir Roger Tichborne until his dying day.
54:11 Alice Levine? Following the successful prosecution of Arthur Orton, seven-year-old Henry was confirmed as 12th Tichborne Baronette in waiting. The estate remains in the hands of Tichborne descendants today. After the trial, Arthur's lawyer Edward Caneely fought a parliamentary by-election for Stoke-upon-Trent as the people's candidate. He won with a huge majority. He failed to persuade the House of Commons to establish a royal commission into the Tichborne trial, his proposal securing only his own vote and the support of two non-voting tellers. Arthur Orton continued to swear he was Sir Roger until he died of heart failure at 6 am on April Fools' Day, 1898, aged 64.
54:55 Alice Levine? On the morning of the funeral, crowds began gathering at daybreak. By afternoon, a carnival-like crush awaited the procession. The newspapers obituaries him as Arthur Orton, and he was laid to rest with no headstone. But when his oak coffin was divested of wreaths, it was revealed that affixed to its lid was a shield-shaped plaque inscribed, "Sir Roger Charles Doughty Tichborne." It transpired that Sir Henry Tichborne, since sworn in as the Baronette, had given permission for the plate to carry his uncle's name, leading many to speculate that there really had been some truth to Arthur's claims after all. Next week, we have a very exciting guest for you.
55:39 Alice Levine? We have a member of the Tichborne family.
55:42 Matt Forde? I don't want to cast aspersions, but are you absolutely sure?
55:46 Alice Levine? I am pretty sure, but we are going to do our due diligence, don't worry.
55:50 Matt Forde? But we're not going to ask them to reveal any part of their body?
55:53 Alice Levine? That's not the way that we'll do the due diligence, no.
55:55 Matt Forde? Phew. Hi, I'm Kenny Abiris. And I'm Malcolm Gladwell. We're back for season two of our Audible original podcast, The Unusual Suspect.
56:04 Speaker 05 We're bringing you fresh, new conversations from guests like Anderson Paak, David Zedars, Ryan Howard, Rich O, Amy Sheldon, and many more. Sign up for a free trial to Audible to listen to season two in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.
56:17 Speaker 07 In the summer of 1881, US Army Lieutenant Adolphus Greeley and 24 other men embarked on an ambitious scientific mission to the northernmost reaches of the Arctic. But despite several triumphs of discovery, the men would soon face tragedy. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of the podcast American History Tellers. We take you to the events, times, and people that shaped America and Americans, our values, our struggles, and our dreams. In our latest series, after Adolphus Greeley and his men arrive at their destination more than 1,000 miles above the Arctic Circle, they get to work collecting scientific data and exploring the frigid landscape. But when resupply ships fail to reach them two summers in a row, they're forced to set
57:00 Speaker 07 out on a desperate search for rescue, and not all of them will make it home. Follow American History Tellers wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes of American History Tellers: Greeley Arctic Expedition early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.
57:23 Alice Levine? From Wondery and Samus Audio, this is the third episode in our series, The Case of the Missing Aristocrat.
57:29 Matt Forde? A quick note about our dialogue. In most cases, we can't know exactly what was said, but all our dramatizations are based on historical research.
57:37 Alice Levine? If you'd like to know more about this story, you can read The Man Who Lost Himself: The Unbelievable Story of the Tichborne Claimant by Robin Anier, and The Claimant: Butcher or Baronet by Paul Terry.
57:48 Matt Forde? And remember, if you want to get in touch with comments, suggestions, ideas for scandals, then you can email [email protected] .
57:56 Alice Levine? British Scandal is hosted by me, Alice Levine.
57:58 Matt Forde? And me, Matt Ford.
57:59 Alice Levine? Written by Wendy Granditer. Additional writing by Alice Levine and Matt Ford. Our story editor is James Maniac. Sound design by Rich Evans. Our engineer is Jai Williams. For Samus Dat, our producer is Chica Ayers. Our assistant producer is Redsey Bernard. Our senior producers are Joe Sykes and Dasha Lisitzina. For Wondery, our series producer is Theodora Leludis, and our managing producer is Rachel Sibley. Executive producers for Wondry are Estelle Doyle, Chris Bourne, Morgan Jones and Marshall Louie.
58:46 Speaker 03 I'm Gemma Whelan and in the new season of The Spy Who, we tell the story of the original femme fatale, The Spy Who Was Mata Hari. A famous dancer turned World War One secret agent, accused of seducing Allied officers to uncover their plans. But was she a temptress or a scapegoat for French failures? Follow The Spy Who now, wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also listen to the full season of The Spy Who Was Mata Hari, early and ad-free on Audible.
59:16 Matt Forde? Alice, it is the best time of year. We are just two months away from Christmas.
59:21 Alice Levine? How could we forget how you lose your mind about this time of year? You absolutely go nuts.
59:26 Matt Forde? I know it's mature. I do, and I'm allergic to nuts, so that tells you how mad I get. I'm even more excited this year because we are having a British Scandal Christmas Party Special with the listeners.
59:39 Alice Levine? Okay, your demeanor is appropriate then. This is massive. We've never done this before.
59:43 Matt Forde? We haven't. This is long overdue. So, to secure yourself a non-physical invite to this party, we want to know if you have a connection to a British Scandal character.
59:52 Alice Levine? We cannot stress enough, a non-physical invite to the party. And the longer the chain of connections, the better, I think. So we're going to invite you to play the game British Scandal: Seven Degrees of Separation. Make it tenuous.
1:00:05 Matt Forde? That is a catchy title.
1:00:06 Alice Levine? Many thanks. Did your nan's neighbour's gardener drive the getaway car in the Millennium Dome heist?
1:00:12 Matt Forde? Did your great-great-great-great-great-grandmother go to school with Mary Queen of Scots? There are prizes and there is glory.
1:00:19 Alice Levine? To be clear, non-physical invite. Email us at [email protected] with the subject line "Christmas Special", and please include as much detail and information as possible. The more obscure, the better.
1:00:32 Matt Forde? We need your entries by the 10th of November, so email us, [email protected] .
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