Rudy Loves Chocolate

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 01

  You two are bad friends.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  Who are these two idiots?

• 0:49Speaker 01

  A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  Oh, you two are something.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  We're bad friends.

• 0:57Bobby Lee?

  Probably one of the funnest birthday parties I've ever been to.

• 0:59Andrew Santino?

  Was it one of the most fun birthday parties you've ever done?

• 1:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02Andrew Santino?

  There's Chef Yun right there.

• 1:04Bobby Lee?

  He was out of pocket.

• 1:06Andrew Santino?

  What did he do? He didn't do anything wrong.

• 1:07Bobby Lee?

  He tried to squirt stuff in my mouth.

• 1:09Andrew Santino?

  Well, he had a sake squirt gun.

• 1:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11Andrew Santino?

  He had a little sake squirt gun. Show the sake squirt gun. Let me light the... There's Max getting it right in the mouth.

• 1:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19Andrew Santino?

  That had sake and Super Soaker. Super Soaker, by the way, invented by a black guy, we learned. Stolen by a white guy.

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:25Andrew Santino?

  How do we learn that?

• 1:25Bobby Lee?

  We learned that.

• 1:26Andrew Santino?

  But show the one of me. He let me light the grill on fire. Huge. More, more, more, he kept yelling.

• 1:36Andrew Santino?

  And then he goes sake squirt gun, and he unloads maybe 16 ounces of...

• 1:40Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, he started the Palisades fire!

• 1:44Bobby Lee?

  Yun. Whoa, Yun!

• 1:46Andrew Santino?

  Yun, Yun, Yun. He hits himself in the face. He has flaming rods and he hits himself clean in the face, not once there, but he does it twice. He did it right after this. Do it again, right in the face, twice.

• 1:59Bobby Lee?

  But I told him three times, I go, "I'm sober." The fourth time, he's like, "You want to relapse?" He didn't listen.

• 2:06Andrew Santino?

  Relax, squirt gun! He was so fun. That guy was one of the most fun times I've ever had in my entire...

• 2:10Bobby Lee?

  I was threatened by him.

• 2:12Andrew Santino?

  You loved him.

• 2:12Bobby Lee?

  I made an announcement, remember? I go, "Don't replace..." Him with me.

• 2:17Andrew Santino?

  I would, he, I said, are you, are you busy? Do you want to do a podcast?

• 2:19Bobby Lee?

  Cause he had, he had real good energy.

• 2:22Andrew Santino?

  Great comedic timing.

• 2:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, good comedic timing. I've been a little off lately.

• 2:26Andrew Santino?

  There's me getting squirted. Wow. What a silhouette. Looks like someone's pissing in my mouth. Internet, take this and run with it.

• 2:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:31Andrew Santino?

  Take this and run with it. Carlos also did not get squirted in the mouth. Carlos, of course, is a, it's our Halloween, it's our spooky Halloween episode.

• 2:42Andrew Santino?

  You got a Halloween song prepared, Bob?

• 2:44Bobby Lee?

  Huh?

• 2:45Andrew Santino?

  Bum bum bum bum.

• 2:59Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm ready for your lyrics now.

• 3:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I'm not, no, I'm doing the beat.

• 3:03Bobby Lee?

  Let's see who goes first.

• 3:06Bobby Lee?

  Scary Halloween.

• 3:09Andrew Santino?

  Scary Halloween.

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  Scary Halloween. Who do we have in the studio?

• 3:19Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck are you? What the fuck?

• 3:25Andrew Santino?

  You don't just get to moan, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. She thought it was a native chant.

• 3:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's a party girl.

• 3:31Andrew Santino?

  She was gonna do a haka there.

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  You know she's a party girl?

• 3:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah?

• 3:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:34Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, what's going on with you? You know what's so funny?

• 3:36Bobby Lee?

  Going out with all these black guys?

• 3:39Andrew Santino?

  Yikes.

• 3:44Andrew Santino?

  Sleeping over at black guy's house. Walking out of the house like she just rode a horse.

• 3:53Andrew Santino?

  Jules, what have you been doing?

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Um, I've just been...

• 3:56Andrew Santino?

  Are you dating someone new? Is that what's going on?

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Just seeing a couple of people.

• 4:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Taking after a girl.

• 4:02Bobby Lee?

  Every time though, she's just like, look at this guy. It's this gigantic handsome black guy. Every time.

• 4:07Andrew Santino?

  You like a little bit of chocolate now, huh? You like chocolate milk?

• 4:10Speaker 01

  I love chocolate.

• 4:11Andrew Santino?

  You love chocolate. Fantastic.

• 4:13Bobby Lee?

  How come I never see Asians in your little rotation?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  I've done Asians.

• 4:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know you have.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  So...

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've moved on?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:20Andrew Santino?

  Moved on, moved up?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Try something else.

• 4:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you gotta try other stuff. And that's, that's Carlos's life motto. You gotta try other stuff.

• 4:27Bobby Lee?

  I do agree with that.

• 4:28Andrew Santino?

  Honestly, we're not gonna be able to hear a word that you're gonna say.

• 4:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, take that fucking thing off.

• 4:32Andrew Santino?

  What is that, by the way?

• 4:33Speaker 02

  It's a furry mask. It's like something a shooter would Google at night.

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  My favorite thing is you pretending like you did, like you already didn't have that costume. Oh, it's an order of furry. Yeah, like that wasn't in your closet.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  I've always wanted to try it since I saw it on Entourage like 15 years ago.

• 4:48Andrew Santino?

  Who did a furry on Entourage?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Drama has sex with a girl.

• 4:51Andrew Santino?

  Who's a furry?

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to the furry community. Dude, I met, uh, me and DeRosa in Vegas, met these two beautiful, three beautiful, sweet women who were dominatrixes. And I wanted the download and she was like, I'm a big fan. Where's Bobby? First question out of everybody's mouth. Where's Bobby?

• 5:08Bobby Lee?

  You doing with Shane?

• 5:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Shane, we did, I did a couple of shows in Vegas.

• 5:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I have a photo for you.

• 5:14Andrew Santino?

  What is that?

• 5:14Bobby Lee?

  Let me show you a photo.

• 5:15Andrew Santino?

  Okay. I did a couple of shows with Shane in Vegas. Shane, um, you know, just phenomenal, dude. The venue was unbelievable. What is that? Oh, it's a photo of me and, uh...

• 5:25Bobby Lee?

  Taylor Swift.

• 5:26Andrew Santino?

  Taylor Swift, yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  You're friends with Taylor Swift?

• 5:28Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:29Andrew Santino?

  You guys.

• 5:36Andrew Santino?

  No. No, we went to the football game. It's funny that that's the only photo that they chose to snag of me.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  The Times of India.

• 5:44Andrew Santino?

  Once you've made it, you've made it, man!

• 5:48Andrew Santino?

  Taylor Swift's surprising chat with Andrew. Surprising chat with loser, ugly ginger boy, Andrew Santino, Chiefs game. Sparks his wedding diss. Yeah, this was the most misinterpreted thing I've ever said. I said, I probably, I had said on, um, on Pardon My Take, I'd said like, they were like, oh, you're gonna go to the wedding? I was like, dude, I don't know. I also don't wanna talk about it. I was like, leave me the fuck alone about this.

• 6:09Bobby Lee?

  But that photo though, what, so you're mid-smile, you have, you're like looking out, you have your finger, you have your finger here. She must've said something funny, so what, so, you say what she said.

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  Come on.

• 6:24Andrew Santino?

  If you think I'm gonna let you big.

• 6:27Bobby Lee?

  What's the finger about though?

• 6:28Andrew Santino?

  I'm sure I was.

• 6:29Bobby Lee?

  I tried to cover your mouth?

• 6:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was covering my mouth. I was saying a racially charged joke to her and I was trying to cover my mouth.

• 6:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and she's in mid saying a punchline or something and you look at your face. You've never laughed that hard in front of me, ever. What, what, what, what does she saying that's gonna give you that reaction?

• 6:49Andrew Santino?

  I actually don't.

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  Look at that face!

• 6:50Andrew Santino?

  I don't know the moment in time.

• 6:51Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen you make that face. What?

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  What does she smell like?

• 6:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what does she smell like? Tell us.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  I mean, you could, why don't you guess?

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay, rose, matcha.

• 6:59Andrew Santino?

  Rose hips.

• 7:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, rose hips.

• 7:01Andrew Santino?

  Rose hips.

• 7:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you mean, soft serve matcha.

• 7:04Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's just your favorite. That's why you're saying.

• 7:06Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. Just on the pits.

• 7:09Andrew Santino?

  Smells like a global superstar would smell.

• 7:12Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, bottle that up.

• 7:15Andrew Santino?

  Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Dude, she's so, very sweet, very cool, very nice, and they're very courteous to let me even come near uh, that booth because uh, probably the most uh, unaccomplished ugly guy in the whole clique. But they let me, they let me in.

• 7:32Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 7:33Andrew Santino?

  Anyway.

• 7:33Bobby Lee?

  Incredible.

• 7:34Andrew Santino?

  What was I saying? You broke up my brain.

• 7:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:36Andrew Santino?

  Why, what'd you break up my brain? What were we saying? Oh, these dominatrixes.

• 7:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:41Andrew Santino?

  Joe and I go to get pizza after the Gillis show. Um, and we go to get pizza and these three women, it was the, dude, this is crazy in Vegas. It was the marathon? The four races, the WNBA teams parade for winning a championship. Emo Fest, which was, you would have fucking.

• 7:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, love Emo Fest. Dashboard Confessional is my favorite.

• 8:01Andrew Santino?

  Dashboard, well, Blink played with Panic at the Disco and two, I don't know, three other bands. And we meet these three girls. And I was like, oh, did you guys go to Emo Fest? And she's like, kind of, we did something else. And I was like, oh, what did you do? And she's like, we're dominatrixes. And I was like, I am so fucking curious about, like, I wanna know. I was like, what, like, how many, what percentage of men do you actually like hook up with? Or who just wants the, you know, the game? And she's like, it's much, it's way low on actual sex.

• 8:29Bobby Lee?

  I got tied up once.

• 8:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh, tied up is nothing. This is like kick, beat, insult, drag, make you dress up in different outfits, spitting, kicking. I go, how many guys get like genital mutilation? She's like, a ton, a high amount of people.

• 8:43Bobby Lee?

  Like razor blades to the privates?

• 8:45Andrew Santino?

  Anything, kick, pull, squeeze.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  What about shitting?

• 8:48Andrew Santino?

  These were not Shiza girls. These were not Shiza girls.

• 8:51Bobby Lee?

  They're not German. These were German girls.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  They weren't German girls. We came to Vegas for a little fun. Little poopy, poopy. Circus, circus, poopy, poopy.

• 8:58Bobby Lee?

  Would you ever get that done, though?

• 9:00Andrew Santino?

  Brother, what? No.

• 9:02Bobby Lee?

  Get tied up in?

• 9:02Andrew Santino?

  I don't like, no.

• 9:04Bobby Lee?

  Why not?

• 9:04Andrew Santino?

  I'm missionary for a minute and a half and then go to bed.

• 9:08Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 9:08Andrew Santino?

  Okay, a minute, maybe a full minute, not even a minute and a half.

• 9:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:11Andrew Santino?

  No, I don't want to get hurt while I have sex. That's not for me. I respect it.

• 9:14Bobby Lee?

  I do easy mode first.

• 9:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 9:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, don't go full, full-blown masterclass.

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  I play as the first guy, you know, as the first avatar.

• 9:22Bobby Lee?

  Like an NPC?

• 9:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the, the simple NPC. This is me.

• 9:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:26Andrew Santino?

  That's who I am.

• 9:27Bobby Lee?

  I'd be willing to get tied, my hands behind my back.

• 9:29Andrew Santino?

  You're, you're this NPC.

• 9:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My, my legs tied like this, right? And just a light smack on the cheek.

• 9:35Andrew Santino?

  I don't mind.

• 9:36Bobby Lee?

  And then I'll go, you know what I mean? Turn it up.

• 9:38Andrew Santino?

  Turn it up.

• 9:38Bobby Lee?

  You gotta start, you gotta start with one.

• 9:41Andrew Santino?

  You can't start at nine.

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  You can't start at nine when you're first time getting tied up.

• 9:44Andrew Santino?

  It's nuts.

• 9:45Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. I go, okay, do that, right?

• 9:47Andrew Santino?

  Just a little paka.

• 9:48Bobby Lee?

  And then level two is what? Two cheeks.

• 9:50Andrew Santino?

  Double, double.

• 9:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, two cheek it, two cheek it, pop.

• 9:54Andrew Santino?

  Maybe she chokes a little bit.

• 9:55Bobby Lee?

  Right. And then maybe, uh, stick a toothpick, toothpick inside the penis hole.

• 9:59Andrew Santino?

  Ah, yeah.

• 10:00Bobby Lee?

  No?

• 10:00Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 10:01Bobby Lee?

  Is that, what, what level is that?

• 10:02Andrew Santino?

  I don't, that's level five or six. You're skipping a level.

• 10:05Bobby Lee?

  I'm skipping levels?

• 10:05Andrew Santino?

  You don't go from like pop, pop.

• 10:06Bobby Lee?

  All right, all right, all right.

• 10:07Andrew Santino?

  No, no, that's so.

• 10:09Bobby Lee?

  Twist my nips.

• 10:10Andrew Santino?

  Twist nips, twist nips.

• 10:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:11Andrew Santino?

  Twist nips.

• 10:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I'm not talking about my Japanese friends.

• 10:13Andrew Santino?

  Carlos likes, by the way, Carlos is a nip twist.

• 10:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:16Andrew Santino?

  But she was, she was fascinating, dude. I was so intrigued. I was like, I want to know everything about it. The one girl was very shareable. The other one was like. I'm eating my pizza, leave me alone.

• 10:24Bobby Lee?

  I wish I was there.

• 10:25Andrew Santino?

  You would have loved it, dude.

• 10:26Bobby Lee?

  I would have done it.

• 10:26Andrew Santino?

  And they were rad.

• 10:27Bobby Lee?

  How much money, you think?

• 10:29Andrew Santino?

  She didn't tell, because I didn't want to ask her about finances, but I imagine, because I did say, how expensive does it get?

• 10:35Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 10:36Andrew Santino?

  She's like, well, some sessions are in the thousands.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:39Andrew Santino?

  So in the multi-thousands, why am I, yeah, why, we have, we have one right there.

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  But do people orgasm, or are they just like the pain?

• 10:45Andrew Santino?

  It's not about coming.

• 10:46Bobby Lee?

  God damn it, that's the best part, no?

• 10:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 10:49Speaker 05

  No, you just need a-

• 10:50Bobby Lee?

  Richie, isn't that the best part?

• 10:51Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 10:53Bobby Lee?

  Of course. Yeah.

• 10:56Andrew Santino?

  Ecom, who me com?

• 10:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to see Richie tied up, dude.

• 11:01Andrew Santino?

  Can we get you a dominatrix and you'd be down to? Sure.

• 11:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:04Andrew Santino?

  We're gonna film it. Okay. You're really down to be on cam. Depending on how far it goes. I also met a guy, I-

• 11:10Bobby Lee?

  Level five, toothpicks in the-

• 11:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, I don't have toothpicks. I also met a guy this weekend who, in this familial group of friends, uh, that I guess we had met before. He is a, he works in porn, he started off as a film, as a filmographer, he started off as McCon, right? A shooter, and now, he, I go, you ever get in front of the camera? He goes, I've been doing it lately. I go, ooh, little tiny Filipino guy, I go, what's going on with that?

• 11:36Bobby Lee?

  Who's it?

• 11:37Andrew Santino?

  And he goes, uh, yeah, it's kinda cool. I go, well, what are you, what are you, like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm the cuck. So, he's like, I don't get to penetrate, I'm the boyfriend that gets cheated on in front of me with the girl.

• 11:47Bobby Lee?

  What, tell me, explain, explain, explain.

• 11:48Andrew Santino?

  He's the cuck, he, in the video of like, you know, like in a, in a porn where it's like, he's cuck, he just stands there and watches. That's not him.

• 11:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:56Andrew Santino?

  But he just stands there and watches.

• 11:58Bobby Lee?

  Can he play with himself while it's happening?

• 11:59Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 12:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, man.

• 12:00Andrew Santino?

  That's like the punishment.

• 12:01Bobby Lee?

  Can he stick his finger in his own?

• 12:02Andrew Santino?

  He can do nothing. He doesn't, I go, do you ever get to do anything? He goes, no, I just have to watch.

• 12:06Bobby Lee?

  That's what, that would be me, I'd just be like, with one finger in there.

• 12:10Andrew Santino?

  One finger in your ass?

• 12:11Bobby Lee?

  I wouldn't even go up and down, I'd just stick it in.

• 12:14Andrew Santino?

  He was great, he was very interesting.

• 12:16Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  Very, very interesting stories I met. This weekend in Vegas was interesting little, uh-

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  I wonder what that, but, I mean, it must be arousing to watch.

• 12:25Andrew Santino?

  I mean, may, I don't know. I mean, I think the goal would be to not get into it, because then you're really in character.

• 12:31Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 12:31Andrew Santino?

  Because it's, it's about the pain of it all.

• 12:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, some guys, uh, let their, they like to watch their wives.

• 12:37Andrew Santino?

  That's what cucking is, that's what it-

• 12:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I'm just explaining to the audience.

• 12:42Bobby Lee?

  No, but it would, I mean-

• 12:43Andrew Santino?

  You're explaining to one of my family members who watches the show weekly?

• 12:45Bobby Lee?

  Does that-

• 12:46Andrew Santino?

  My aunt is like, hmm, thank you, Bobby.

• 12:50Andrew Santino?

  Hot wife is married, hot wife is a married woman who has sexual relations with other men with the full knowledge and consent of the husband. This is the opposite. They call them hot wives. That so a hot wife is a woman who has a cuck husband.

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  And it's all good to go. Consentual non-monogamy.

• 13:04Bobby Lee?

  I want to be with an ugly wife so I can do it. I'll be the hot husband.

• 13:08Andrew Santino?

  Buddy.

• 13:09Bobby Lee?

  Well, you don't think I'd ever be the, I don't know, buddy, you don't think I'd ever be the hot husband?

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  I don't think so.

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  Not in this lifetime.

• 13:17Bobby Lee?

  I can explain, I can describe to you the woman.

• 13:19Andrew Santino?

  I believe in reincarnation. I do think in your next life you could be. But I do not think that's in your cards this time around.

• 13:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh boy.

• 13:26Andrew Santino?

  And that's a compliment because you date women much more attractive than you.

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  That makes me so upset, what you're saying.

• 13:32Andrew Santino?

  Shrek-ing. You're Shrek-ing.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  I'm not Shrek-ing, dude!

• 13:35Andrew Santino?

  You've been Shrek-ing all day. You're Shrek-king.

• 13:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:38Andrew Santino?

  You tell me you don't date women out of your league? That's insane. That's all you do, is date beautiful women. That's all you do. And that's a compliment. Yeah. But it's a backhanded one.

• 13:47Bobby Lee?

  It's still backhanded.

• 13:48Andrew Santino?

  But it doesn't matter. Every guy we know dates women out of their league. Do you know someone that's, with someone that's compare, that's on their level of looks?

• 13:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're right. I don't want to name names. I know a couple of guys with girlfriends. I'm like, I'm not.

• 14:02Andrew Santino?

  But I had a magical little weekend in Vegas. It was wonderful. It is an interesting city.

• 14:08Bobby Lee?

  Is it dead, like they say?

• 14:09Andrew Santino?

  No, fuck no. What do you mean? I just told you how many things were there. Like, literally, the marathon, Emo Fest, every hotel was packed, sold out. It was cra- look, it's probably also because it's high season right now, because it's getting shitty in other parts of the country. People want to go get away. And Vegas was perfect weather and the shows were fucking incredible. And we were gambling with Shane's dad, which was the funniest thing in the world, because Shane gave him a little bit of money.

• 14:31Bobby Lee?

  I met his dad. I like his dad.

• 14:32Andrew Santino?

  Phil's the fucking greatest man alive. He gave him a little bit of money, so we go down and sit at the table and Shane was like, I gotta go to my room to go get money, because I have cash in the room. And I was like, well, we can just give you cash. And he's like, no, Phil, I just gave you cash. He just gave his dad cash. Like, he had just given it to him. And he was, give me some. And his dad was so funny. He's like, "No, no, I'll give you a little bit." And he was like, holding out on giving him money. And Shane was like, "Are you fucking serious right now? I just gave you that money." But he gave him like a wad of money. I think he just handed it to him. It was like, "Dad, go gamble." And he was holding back on it. But dude, Shane, on fire.

• 15:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's-

• 15:05Andrew Santino?

  No, no, he was winning money. I lost all my money. And at the very end, he goes, "We gotta go. We were gonna go to this other thing." And then he goes, "Just put whatever all in." And I was like, "Pfft, all in." I go all in, and I'm excited. I get 20. I get two face cards. And I'm like, "We're winning." She flops out 21.

• 15:24Andrew Santino?

  It actually hurt. It actually hurt. He was like, "You're good. You don't care." I was like, "No, no, it's okay. It was all the money that I put down, but it's okay. It doesn't matter."

• 15:33Bobby Lee?

  You asked me about my weekend?

• 15:37Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'll act the same as you just acted about me explaining my weekend. Here, what happened in your weekend? What did you do?

• 15:43Bobby Lee?

  Nothing. No, I went to, um, I did the Irvine Improv. Again.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  Orange County's finest.

• 15:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Can I ask you this, though? Okay, so I have a real problem. I need your advice.

• 15:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:56Bobby Lee?

  So, you know, um,

• 16:00Bobby Lee?

  I don't want this to be taken the wrong way.

• 16:02Andrew Santino?

  Okay. How many black guys have you been dating?

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Um, just two.

• 16:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:06Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 16:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:08Andrew Santino?

  And no whites?

• 16:09Speaker 01

  No whites.

• 16:09Andrew Santino?

  Good for you. Good girl.

• 16:11Bobby Lee?

  So I've been kinda like a black guy where I have a lot of entourage now.

• 16:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. How many people are you traveling with?

• 16:16Bobby Lee?

  Well-

• 16:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, because I called you from the hotel room.

• 16:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:18Andrew Santino?

  And I talked to, it was you, Ramsey, Catbird, um, uh, um-

• 16:25Bobby Lee?

  Luke.

• 16:25Andrew Santino?

  Luke.

• 16:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Andrew Santino?

  And one more person.

• 16:28Bobby Lee?

  But then Gilbert, Alex, my guy, showed up.

• 16:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:31Bobby Lee?

  And a couple of assistants from the agency.

• 16:33Andrew Santino?

  Phew.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  Right? But here's my problem with it.

• 16:36Andrew Santino?

  Mr. Hollywood.

• 16:38Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 16:38Andrew Santino?

  I come with an entourage. I'm Hollywood.

• 16:40Bobby Lee?

  Cut to the Taylor Swift photo. Go to the Taylor Swift photo.

• 16:43Andrew Santino?

  I come with an entourage. I'm Hollywood. I didn't bring an entourage.

• 16:48Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 16:48Andrew Santino?

  I didn't bring an entourage.

• 16:50Bobby Lee?

  With Taylor, the world is your entourage.

• 16:55Bobby Lee?

  You've never heard that quote before?

• 16:57Andrew Santino?

  No, but I gotta tell you, you better use that. It's really good.

• 17:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:01Andrew Santino?

  The world is your entourage.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  The world is your entourage.

• 17:03Andrew Santino?

  So what, you had about eight, nine people in the-

• 17:04Bobby Lee?

  Right, but my problem is, and this is fine, right? I'm, you know, I can afford it, but-

• 17:12Andrew Santino?

  You're so annoying. That's so annoying.

• 17:15Bobby Lee?

  But in between shows, right, it's like, I need to eat.

• 17:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I do.

• 17:19Bobby Lee?

  So everyone goes.

• 17:20Andrew Santino?

  Everybody's gotta go eat.

• 17:21Bobby Lee?

  No one has money.

• 17:23Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah.

• 17:23Bobby Lee?

  No one has money!

• 17:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, dude.

• 17:25Bobby Lee?

  No one has money!

• 17:26Andrew Santino?

  You're taking your guys from the store.

• 17:27Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know.

• 17:28Andrew Santino?

  Of course they don't have it.

• 17:29Bobby Lee?

  And then all of a sudden, it's like, I'm fine, right? But I'm like, you know, there's all these, like, we went to this Korean restaurant, which is pretty good, right? Next to the, there's a new Korean restaurant next to the Irvine Improv. Right, and it's, it's called Galbi Social Club.

• 17:42Andrew Santino?

  Close.

• 17:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:43Andrew Santino?

  They're right there.

• 17:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's literally right next to the, right, so I'm like, let's just go to the Galbi. You're going, and then they have these packages, like, you know what I mean?

• 17:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what kind of meats do you want?

• 17:52Bobby Lee?

  Like, there's a feast package.

• 17:54Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 17:54Bobby Lee?

  Right? And usually, like, I can, I'll just go, I'll take one of that, right? But now it's like, yeah, I'll take five of that.

• 18:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:04Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  It adds up.

• 18:05Bobby Lee?

  It adds up, too.

• 18:06Andrew Santino?

  It adds up.

• 18:06Bobby Lee?

  Right? And people are feasting!

• 18:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're doing the Trump feast.

• 18:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Boogogi in their mouth. Right, playing little games.

• 18:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:16Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 18:17Andrew Santino?

  Marinated, marinated.

• 18:18Bobby Lee?

  And then they're ordering more, more steamed egg!

• 18:20Andrew Santino?

  More steamed egg!

• 18:21Bobby Lee?

  In my mind, I'm calculating more steamed egg, that's fucking 1995 there, you know what I mean? Saki, drink, on it, on, all right? And you get the bill, and you look around the table, and they all look like little orphan Annie's friends. Yeah, meek, right? Like Oliver Twist.

• 18:37Speaker 06

  May I have another, sir?

• 18:38Bobby Lee?

  May I have another potpourri of poetry?

• 18:40Speaker 06

  Just more, one more steamed egg, please?

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right, and then it's just like, you gotta do it, because...

• 18:45Andrew Santino?

  Why don't you tell me how much it was?

• 18:48Bobby Lee?

  I mean...

• 18:49Andrew Santino?

  That many people, what is the bill for that many people?

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  It's not that much, it's not that, it's, like I said, I can afford it.

• 18:55Andrew Santino?

  You can.

• 18:56Bobby Lee?

  But, um...

• 18:56Andrew Santino?

  And you, and you did it, so that's what happens.

• 18:58Bobby Lee?

  But, yeah, you, you have no problem with it.

• 19:02Andrew Santino?

  There is a code of stand-up.

• 19:04Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 19:05Andrew Santino?

  You are supposed to pay for your openers.

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:09Andrew Santino?

  You have to.

• 19:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because you have the money and they're.

• 19:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, everyone from CAA, come down.

• 19:13Andrew Santino?

  Well, no, no, no, no. Okay, okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 19:15Bobby Lee?

  Come on down.

• 19:16Andrew Santino?

  With the agents, by the way, the rule is.

• 19:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:19Andrew Santino?

  The hierarchy pays. The agents, when they show up, they should pay.

• 19:22Bobby Lee?

  It wasn't the agents, it was the assistants.

• 19:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, then you gotta pay.

• 19:25Bobby Lee?

  I gotta pay.

• 19:26Andrew Santino?

  But if the agent shows up or someone at the agency.

• 19:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:28Andrew Santino?

  They pay because.

• 19:29Bobby Lee?

  I love them, by the way. Thanks for showing up because it makes you feel good that the company's coming out.

• 19:34Andrew Santino?

  I don't want anybody to show up ever to my shows that's at my agency. Please don't ever show up.

• 19:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on down, come on down.

• 19:38Andrew Santino?

  But go to his shows. I prefer no one to come. You know, I want the group.

• 19:41Bobby Lee?

  But go to Arby's before and then.

• 19:44Andrew Santino?

  I want my host, my feature, and that's it.

• 19:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:47Andrew Santino?

  That's all. I don't want a bunch of people.

• 19:48Bobby Lee?

  I feel good. I wanted to do it.

• 19:49Andrew Santino?

  You like the entourage. No, no, it gets you off. You like that.

• 19:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:52Andrew Santino?

  You enjoy that thing.

• 19:54Bobby Lee?

  And then all of a sudden, like, you know, I mean, a guy has three other friends. You know, I mean, they came to the show, comped.

• 20:00Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 20:00Bobby Lee?

  Comped?

• 20:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, what, what, what? They're not gonna pay for it.

• 20:03Bobby Lee?

  Fine, that's fine.

• 20:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 20:04Bobby Lee?

  But then they're like, can they come? And you're like, eh, they can come?

• 20:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let them come. Everyone wants to come. Let everybody come, right, Richie?

• 20:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, say, let everybody come.

• 20:13Speaker 05

  Let everybody come.

• 20:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:14Andrew Santino?

  Clip it.

• 20:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Andrew Santino?

  Honestly, dude, you gotta do it.

• 20:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Andrew Santino?

  But what's my opinion? You want my opinion? Do you have to do it? Yeah, you, you gotta do it. It's the hierarchy of pay. Those that make the most. And by the way, then when you're with other comics, like at our, at our, we either swap, like, I'll pay, you pay, or you do credit card roulette. So one of us has to throw our credit card in a hat and then one of the, and usually make the server pick it. Then they pick it out, and then whoever gets hit, gets hit.

• 20:36Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever picked up the tab?

• 20:37Andrew Santino?

  No. Oh, my God. Have you ever picked up the tab? Who, I don't even think she pays for gas.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Sometimes with my friends.

• 20:46Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 20:46Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 20:47Bobby Lee?

  Do you, okay, let me ask you something. In your friend group, do you have the most money?

• 20:51Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 20:52Bobby Lee?

  Really? I've seen your friend group.

• 20:56Andrew Santino?

  Let's go out to eat dinner.

• 20:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:59Andrew Santino?

  Gremlins.

• 21:02Bobby Lee?

  Shopify, we have an online business here at Bad Friends and we use Shopify because it's the best. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across up to 1,000 locations.

• 21:17Andrew Santino?

  And thankfully for Shopify, they're, uh, the way that we get our merch to you guys. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisles shipped to customer, uh, buy online, pick up in store, all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and, uh, the staff can have the tools to close the sale every single time.

• 21:34Bobby Lee?

  And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive, Andrew. With Shopify POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first-party data that gives marketing teams a competitive edge.

• 21:47Andrew Santino?

  In fact, it's proven, based on a report from EY, businesses on Shopify POS see real results like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on an average relative to the market set surveyed. We use Shopify and if you have a small business, you should too. Turn those what ifs into why nots and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify.

• 22:09Bobby Lee?

  Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify.

• 22:13Andrew Santino?

  Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/BadFriends. Shopify.com/BadFriends.

• 22:19Bobby Lee?

  Bad Friends.

• 22:20Andrew Santino?

  Shopify.com/BadFriends.

• 22:24Bobby Lee?

  Talkspace. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. I'm telling you something right now, Andrew. I do therapy every week, right? And I think it's very vital for my mental health.

• 22:40Andrew Santino?

  We need it.

• 22:40Bobby Lee?

  You know, I had so much trauma going up, growing up as a kid and I, um, you know, I use EMDR, other methods to, to, um, take the, the, the power away from those terrible moments in my life and I need, and I need Talkspace.

• 22:54Andrew Santino?

  And you don't always have to have a traumatic, uh, thing in your life to go talk to someone.

• 22:58Bobby Lee?

  Sure, yeah.

• 22:58Andrew Santino?

  I think talking to someone is wonderful. We should all be doing it and Talkspace is in-network, okay? Talkspace therapy and psychiatry is covered by most insurers and most insured members pay a copay of $0, all right? And Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. You can do it from the comfort of your own home, your car, wherever you're on the road, you're in a hotel, it doesn't really matter. That's why if you're a bad friend, uh, but you need a little bit of a good friend, you should use Talkspace.

• 23:22Bobby Lee?

  As a listener of the podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace. When you go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code SPACE80.

• 23:33Andrew Santino?

  That's SPACE80, S-P-A-C-E-8-0 to match with a licensed therapist today. Go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter that code SPACE80.

• 23:43Speaker 00

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• 24:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I don't, I never, I don't know, sometimes.

• 24:32Andrew Santino?

  How about this, when you're going out on dates now?

• 24:34Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't pay.

• 24:36Andrew Santino?

  You cannot pay?

• 24:36Speaker 01

  No, I don't.

• 24:37Andrew Santino?

  Do you offer half? You don't even do that?

• 24:39Speaker 01

  No.

• 24:39Andrew Santino?

  No, thank you. Has any guy ever said, "Do you want to split it?"

• 24:43Speaker 01

  No, but that would be crazy. I would just leave.

• 24:45Bobby Lee?

  I saw a video the other day.

• 24:47Andrew Santino?

  Empowerment, right there?

• 24:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:48Andrew Santino?

  On full display.

• 24:49Bobby Lee?

  A TikTok where a guy picks up a girl for a first date, and the girl brings her son to get a free meal.

• 24:55Andrew Santino?

  How old's the kid?

• 24:56Bobby Lee?

  He's like five years old.

• 24:57Andrew Santino?

  That's okay.

• 24:59Bobby Lee?

  If you picked up a girl with a kid.

• 25:01Andrew Santino?

  Five years old is cute. Five's funny. You can, you know what, by the way?

• 25:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:05Andrew Santino?

  You use that as ammunition. You joke with the kid, you say funny stuff, you make faces, you make him laugh, she loves you more. That's a home run.

• 25:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I guess.

• 25:12Andrew Santino?

  It's a strategy.

• 25:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.

• 25:13Andrew Santino?

  But by the way, five, five, six, kind of the cutoff. If she brings a 10-year-old, that's bananas.

• 25:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:18Andrew Santino?

  He can stay at home alone. 10? I was, I mean, when, we started being home alone, we were like eight.

• 25:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:23Andrew Santino?

  You're fine. There's hot dogs in the fridge.

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  Do you remember I was dating?

• 25:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 25:28Bobby Lee?

  And so I remember she came out with her son.

• 25:30Andrew Santino?

  That kid was 30.

• 25:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, no, he was 12 years old.

• 25:33Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 25:33Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 25:34Andrew Santino?

  That's over the breaking point.

• 25:35Bobby Lee?

  And then he goes, um, when I pick up from the airport, all he could say is, "I have a short throat."

• 25:44Andrew Santino?

  He has a little short throat?

• 25:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no sore throat.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I thought you said short.

• 25:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I have a sore throat, right? So we get to my house and I go to, you know, DoorDash and I just go.

• 25:52Andrew Santino?

  I have a sore throat.

• 25:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:53Speaker 06

  I can only eat caviar.

• 25:55Bobby Lee?

  I said, hey kiddo, I say, hey kiddo, what kind of flavor do you want? He don't care. I gave him every brand.

• 26:03Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's a problem.

• 26:05Bobby Lee?

  He comes to my house, I give him, I give him packets of it, like bags of it. He sticks in his mouth and he goes.

• 26:15Bobby Lee?

  It spits it on the floor, right?

• 26:17Andrew Santino?

  Denied.

• 26:18Bobby Lee?

  So then I go, pick it up. And he goes, you pick it up. And he goes, I go, pick it up. You pick it up. I go, pick it up. She goes, you pick it up. You know what I did? I picked it up.

• 26:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:28Bobby Lee?

  I fucking picked it up.

• 26:29Andrew Santino?

  He won.

• 26:30Bobby Lee?

  He never had another bag again. I still have those fucking, the fucking things in my house.

• 26:34Andrew Santino?

  He's got a bag of sore.

• 26:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Ever since then, I'm like, no more kids.

• 26:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you gotta cut it off.

• 26:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:38Andrew Santino?

  But five or six is cute and you use that. You go, you, you ingratiate yourself to the kid. Then it's going, oh, he's a nice guy. He likes my kid. And if the kid's funny, you might have more fun with him than the date.

• 26:49Bobby Lee?

  She would have to be, Carlos, back me up on this.

• 26:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they gotta be hot.

• 26:54Bobby Lee?

  They have to be the hottest thing.

• 26:56Andrew Santino?

  I, I look, I look, not in the dating game, but I gotta tell you, there's probably a lot of five-year-olds I'd rather joke around with than some of the girls that you date.

• 27:14Bobby Lee?

  They're annoying, right?

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  Some of them are for sure.

• 27:17Bobby Lee?

  They're annoying, right?

• 27:18Andrew Santino?

  Some of them.

• 27:18Bobby Lee?

  I can see your face.

• 27:20Andrew Santino?

  Some of them, I'd rather be like, I'd rather chat with a five-year-old about trains and monsters.

• 27:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I remember one time I was with a girl and we were in Vegas or something. You literally called, cause I was gone, I went to the bathroom, so you go, you gotta get the fuck back here. I go away, I go, you said so-and-so is fucking annoying.

• 27:36Andrew Santino?

  You can't leave me alone with these people. I don't know what to talk to them about. I feel more comfortable with a kid and we can joke around.

• 27:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:40Andrew Santino?

  I can make a fart noise and that's 30 minutes right there.

• 27:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:43Andrew Santino?

  I start doing, and they're like, ah, and lose their mind.

• 27:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:47Andrew Santino?

  I can't do that to your date.

• 27:48Bobby Lee?

  I had this one girl, I had this one girl go, um, she had to come back and apologize to you for being rude. You remember that?

• 27:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I do.

• 27:56Bobby Lee?

  Because she was just like, because she was a huge fan. But then she was like, but when I meet him.

• 28:00Andrew Santino?

  A fan of you?

• 28:00Bobby Lee?

  No, I bad friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:02Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  She said, when I meet him, Andrew, right? I gotta, I gotta have confidence. You know what I mean? I gotta like, I can't be a fangirl. Right? I'm like, no, just be yourself. I go, just be your fucking self. She goes, no, no, no, I have. And then when she met you, she was a fucking bitch.

• 28:17Andrew Santino?

  Super mean.

• 28:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she was like, hey, what's up? And I'm, I'm, in my mind, I'm like, what, what are you doing?

• 28:24Andrew Santino?

  Not to move.

• 28:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And then like, uh, 10 minutes later, she had to come back up to you and go, hey, I'm sorry about my attitude.

• 28:29Andrew Santino?

  But that point, I was already out.

• 28:30Bobby Lee?

  You're out.

• 28:31Andrew Santino?

  I'm out. I'm out.

• 28:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Andrew Santino?

  It's my point. So look, on new dates, new dates, bring a kid, ladies out there.

• 28:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  I don't have a kid.

• 28:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:40Andrew Santino?

  Yet. Mark my words.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's coming for you. Well, you're up to no good.

• 28:45Bobby Lee?

  If, if you went on a date with a, a guy and he had a couple of kids, would you, would that turn you off or no?

• 28:51Speaker 01

  I think right now it would.

• 28:53Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 28:54Speaker 01

  I just don't want to deal with kids.

• 28:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but what if you met a guy, okay, look, you're 23?

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:00Andrew Santino?

  What if you met a guy that's 28 and he has a kid?

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Then no.

• 29:04Andrew Santino?

  Here, look, ages 20 to 29, which is your age range, approximately 24% of black men in this age range have father to child. So a quarter of the men that are going to take you out have a father, so, or have a child. So you're gonna meet a guy who's gonna have a kid. You're gonna have to decide at some point, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fall in love with this man? And be the new mom?

• 29:22Speaker 01

  No, I don't want to be a mom.

• 29:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm just telling you.

• 29:25Bobby Lee?

  Ever.

• 29:26Andrew Santino?

  Statistics are there.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 29:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:28Andrew Santino?

  35% of non Hispanic Asian men.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  I want to be like you, Tito Bobby.

• 29:31Bobby Lee?

  Like, explain to me what my, I'm like.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Goal and just old and just like.

• 29:36Andrew Santino?

  I, uh, yeah, single and old.

• 29:38Bobby Lee?

  Single and old.

• 29:39Andrew Santino?

  You say, I want to be like you?

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:41Andrew Santino?

  Interesting.

• 29:41Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 29:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:43Bobby Lee?

  I influenced you in that way.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 29:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, my lifestyle.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:47Andrew Santino?

  You are a life coach.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Thank you.

• 29:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you are.

• 29:50Bobby Lee?

  Cause last night I was just like, I'm just gonna play Dying Light, part two, till five in the morning.

• 29:55Andrew Santino?

  How'd that go?

• 29:56Bobby Lee?

  Great.

• 29:57Andrew Santino?

  Completed it.

• 29:58Bobby Lee?

  No, it's impossible. There's so many side missions. It's on and on. It's the scary, it's the dumbest game. At night, have you played Dying Light? No, not yet. At night, it's the most terrifying.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  What about Silent Hill?

• 30:10Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't, I couldn't finish it. I couldn't finish it.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  I started, I started watching the BTK Killer last night and everybody's, cause everyone's been sending me that it's you.

• 30:18Bobby Lee?

  I know, dude.

• 30:19Andrew Santino?

  You saw the BTK Killer, this is, the drawing is you. Have you seen the drawing?

• 30:22Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 30:22Andrew Santino?

  Go to BTK Killer drawing.

• 30:24Bobby Lee?

  Please don't. I get DMs and texts about it.

• 30:26Andrew Santino?

  All day. Look at that. Look, it's, that's a hundred percent. That's so, Richie, that's so obviously you though. It's like, who's that? That's Bobby Lee.

• 30:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:36Andrew Santino?

  Did you watch that BTK Killer?

• 30:37Bobby Lee?

  No, but I'm a big fan.

• 30:40Andrew Santino?

  It's tragic, dude. It's awful to watch.

• 30:42Bobby Lee?

  Who's here?

• 30:42Andrew Santino?

  It's heartbreaking. Who is here?

• 30:46Andrew Santino?

  Who's here?

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 30:48Andrew Santino?

  Do we have a guest?

• 30:48Speaker 07

  Oh, spooky costume.

• 30:52Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, spooky.

• 30:53Bobby Lee?

  Spooky Flame.

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  Spooky.

• 30:56Bobby Lee?

  Spooky Flame is here.

• 30:57Andrew Santino?

  Spooky Flame.

• 30:59Bobby Lee?

  Dude, you look like you just got off a meth binge.

• 31:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it looks like somebody extinguished your flame there.

• 31:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's going on, dude? You look, seem wild eyed.

• 31:07Speaker 07

  Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  Your eyes are so blue.

• 31:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, your eyes are blue.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Pretty.

• 31:13Speaker 07

  Okay, thank you. Thanks.

• 31:14Andrew Santino?

  Beautiful boy.

• 31:16Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 31:16Andrew Santino?

  How's it been going?

• 31:17Bobby Lee?

  Real beautiful.

• 31:17Speaker 07

  Good.

• 31:18Andrew Santino?

  Is this your Halloween costume? We asked you to come in costume.

• 31:20Speaker 07

  Uh, yes. Um, it's like the, the Project X outfit.

• 31:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's what you wore in the movie?

• 31:25Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh my God. That's, is that exactly the clothes that you wore in the film?

• 31:29Speaker 07

  Yes. Uh, well, I mean, different jacket, but pretty much.

• 31:33Andrew Santino?

  Uh, can I be honest with you, bud?

• 31:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:35Andrew Santino?

  It's not even a little bit like that. Wait, zoom in. Look at how young you are there. How old are you there?

• 31:40Speaker 07

  Eighteen.

• 31:41Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  How old are you now?

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  Thirty-three. Is that good memories of Project X? Yeah, yeah. You do, you have good memories of that? That was filmed near here. Yeah? Yeah. You still, do you still get residuals from that movie? Uh, yeah, pretty small, but yes. Like, what's an average one from that film? Um, I think probably like three thousand a year.

• 32:00Bobby Lee?

  Whoa!

• 32:01Andrew Santino?

  That's not bad. Yeah, not bad. Free money. Yeah. And then, Dumb and Dumber. No, what? Uh, is who y'all are dressed as. No, Ben and Jerry, the ice cream.

• 32:10Bobby Lee?

  Ben and Jerry, the ice cream, yeah. I'm Chunky Monkey.

• 32:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Who are you?

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Meg.

• 32:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay, cool, cool. It's not all part of the same theme. Like, those guys are not, uh, part of Ben and Jerry at all. Can you guess what they are? What do you think, um, Carlos is?

• 32:25Andrew Santino?

  Uh, oh, Sonic. Yeah.

• 32:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Sonic the Hedgehog.

• 32:28Andrew Santino?

  And look who's right next to him, his tails, right there, that's tails. Richie's tails. Richie, what do you think Richie is?

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  I don't know. Karen Carpenter.

• 32:38Bobby Lee?

  Karen Carpenter, yeah.

• 32:38Andrew Santino?

  And then who do you think is in the back there? Who do you think is in the back? He told me Groucho Marx. So you already got tipped off? Yeah. Well, can you wanna lie and retake it again? Yeah. Who is that in the back? Uh, someone with a mustache. You started off right.

• 32:52Bobby Lee?

  It's-

• 32:52Andrew Santino?

  Hitler, it's Hitler. That's actually Hitler.

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  Hitler.

• 32:55Andrew Santino?

  That's Hitler before he shaved it into a little tiny... So Hitler, actually, that's... That's actually the outfit that he was known for the most. And then he shaved the little tiny mustache here. The art school one? This is art school Hitler.

• 33:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, the art school, art school Hitler, dude.

• 33:10Andrew Santino?

  That's art school Hitler!

• 33:14Andrew Santino?

  That was art school Hitler before he got denied and kinda... Really changed his thought process about the world. But there he is, that's art school Hitler.

• 33:22Bobby Lee?

  Is that him as a kid?

• 33:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You think you could, at that point-

• 33:26Andrew Santino?

  Look at that, whoa!

• 33:28Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 33:28Andrew Santino?

  Look at those legs!

• 33:30Bobby Lee?

  But as a kid, do you think-

• 33:31Andrew Santino?

  It looks like Pete!

• 33:32Bobby Lee?

  You'd be able to change his mind?

• 33:34Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 33:34Bobby Lee?

  If you ran into Hitler, if you had a time machine, you ran into a Hitler that was like nine years old... Do you, do you think you could be able to change the direction of his life?

• 33:45Bobby Lee?

  What would you say?

• 33:46Andrew Santino?

  That's a really good question.

• 33:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what would you say?

• 33:48Andrew Santino?

  Hi, little Hitler.

• 33:49Bobby Lee?

  I can't do the "ah."

• 33:51Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 33:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Hello, hello, little Hitler.

• 33:54Speaker 06

  Hello, Chinese boy.

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  Already, it's hard.

• 33:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:58Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know, I'm not Chinese. I think you're just, um, you know, I'm from a different, but you know, we're all human beings. We're all the kind of the same.

• 34:04Speaker 06

  You're all from China as far as I'm concerned.

• 34:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I get it, but it's like I'm Korean.

• 34:10Speaker 06

  Rice man.

• 34:11Bobby Lee?

  Please, you know what? Calling derogatory words.

• 34:14Speaker 06

  Little rice man, tiny little.

• 34:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Anyway, um.

• 34:18Speaker 06

  No, I like you. You people are okay.

• 34:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:20Speaker 06

  You're not so bad.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think all people are equal, no?

• 34:24Speaker 06

  All people are equal?

• 34:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 06

  Not all.

• 34:29Bobby Lee?

  What do you, what do you mean?

• 34:30Speaker 06

  A few people don't deserve the same things as me.

• 34:33Bobby Lee?

  I, I see. Well, let's go through, let's go through the fucking groups.

• 34:37Speaker 06

  Blacks, Jews, Asians.

• 34:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah? All equal? With you?

• 34:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're equal on their little plane.

• 34:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so you're in a different category?

• 34:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, we're superior.

• 34:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 34:49Andrew Santino?

  No, you killed nine-year-old Hitler.

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  I would kill him.

• 34:51Andrew Santino?

  You can't flip that guy. I don't think it was born. I don't think he was born like that. I think something tragic happened. I think he was probably molested in art school, which is why he had this whole weird art school thing.

• 35:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 35:00Andrew Santino?

  He was molested and then this was his rage against the world. Was Hitler molested? Gotta be.

• 35:08Speaker 06

  Was he gay?

• 35:09Andrew Santino?

  Gotta be.

• 35:10Bobby Lee?

  No, Hitler wasn't gay, dude.

• 35:12Andrew Santino?

  He wasn't cool enough to be gay. Historians and scholars have found no credible evidence Adolf Hitler was sexually molested. Rumors circulated after World War II. These were largely for propaganda purposes and have been discredited. I like how they discredited. Like they had to go out of their way to find out. They're like, all right, who molested Hitler? He had a harsh and abusive father. Traumatic episodes. Yeah, I think he had something fucked up. All right, raise your hand if you molested Hitler. Guys, come on. We're not gonna get back to painting until you guys tell me who did it.

• 35:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:40Andrew Santino?

  We want to do watercolors.

• 35:44Bobby Lee?

  Listen, I think you were, I think he was born that way.

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  You really do?

• 35:49Bobby Lee?

  He's probably a sociopath.

• 35:50Andrew Santino?

  No, because something had to have happened to him, dude. I think we're all born pretty clean and good. Something cracks a human.

• 35:56Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 35:57Andrew Santino?

  Something breaks. Every time you watch these true crime documentaries, something really bad happened.

• 36:02Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 36:03Andrew Santino?

  Right? Dax, has anything really bad happened to you in your life?

• 36:09Speaker 07

  Not like that.

• 36:11Andrew Santino?

  See?

• 36:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:12Andrew Santino?

  And that's why he's high functioning, normal adult.

• 36:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 07

  But someone did say something the other day about often serial killers are bed wetters to an older age.

• 36:22Andrew Santino?

  And how, when did you stop?

• 36:23Speaker 07

  I did, I did until, uh, old, too old, but not anymore, of course, like, maybe like nine or something.

• 36:29Bobby Lee?

  Nine?

• 36:31Andrew Santino?

  It's pretty old to wet the bed.

• 36:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:33Andrew Santino?

  That's older than the kids that women bring on dates with Bobby. That's pretty, nine is old.

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  I can imagine him coming downstairs like in The Exorcist. He just pees on.

• 36:43Andrew Santino?

  The triad was proposed in 63 by psychiatrist J M McDonald, based on the observations of a small group of nonviolent patients who had made threats. It's a misconception that serial killers are bed wetters. That's not true.

• 36:52Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 36:52Andrew Santino?

  The McDonald triad, so that's not.

• 36:54Speaker 07

  And then like getting a head injury, right?

• 36:56Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 36:56Speaker 07

  A head injury.

• 36:57Andrew Santino?

  Head, head injury, molestation, both physical and sexual abuse towards, uh, that, that, this, they all kind of have a lot of that stuff in common.

• 37:06Bobby Lee?

  But if you look at our society and then you look at like, um, how many, um, serial killers were in Sweden or Thailand? You're talking about low numbers, like three, four people throughout their history.

• 37:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, the highest concentration of serial killers has got to be from here.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  It is.

• 37:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, we're number.

• 37:20Bobby Lee?

  Thousands.

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  We're number one again.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  But why here?

• 37:23Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 37:24Andrew Santino?

  Head injuries.

• 37:26Bobby Lee?

  No, what?

• 37:27Andrew Santino?

  We have the most head injuries.

• 37:30Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 37:30Andrew Santino?

  A lot of doctors dropping babies.

• 37:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:32Andrew Santino?

  Studies suggest a correlation between head injuries and serial killing. It's not a direct cause, but it, there is a tie. I wonder what the other one is. What's your favorite breakfast, Jules?

• 37:43Speaker 01

  Rice, eggs, and, um, seaweed and kimchi and, um.

• 37:48Bobby Lee?

  Spam.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Spam.

• 37:49Andrew Santino?

  Google that and see if that's a serial killer meal. That sounds like one.

• 37:52Bobby Lee?

  That's exactly what I like.

• 37:53Andrew Santino?

  What do serial killers eat?

• 37:54Speaker 07

  Is it like a mixed up?

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:57Andrew Santino?

  What is that called? Is that called a dish? Do you have a, you nickname it something? Serial killers, a variety of foods. Zoom in. There's no single serial killer diet and there should be. That's a new diet plan.

• 38:09Andrew Santino?

  You want to have a ripped body? You gotta have the serial killer diet. The last meals, uh, fried chicken, french fries, onion soup, while another one requested steak with baked potato.

• 38:17Bobby Lee?

  I've been thinking about Dahmer lately, but I don't know.

• 38:20Andrew Santino?

  No, we're not going back down that rabbit hole.

• 38:21Speaker 07

  We have some famous horror movie scenes to bring back.

• 38:24Andrew Santino?

  I'd love to bring a scene. I'd love to do a script reading. Let me see.

• 38:26Speaker 07

  Also, since we have a professional actor among us, Dax.

• 38:31Bobby Lee?

  Factor.

• 38:32Andrew Santino?

  Yum yum fall. Always feels like a reset. It's back to school. It's football is here. It's hockey is back. Basketball is back. Baseball is coming to a close. Busier routines, shorter days, and it's a hard time to find time to cook. And who's got time to cook? Not me.

• 38:49Bobby Lee?

  Me either. And you know, it's, you know, it's hard to cook. Who has the time? But if you want a quality meal, go to Factor. More variety, more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp with no extra cost.

• 39:04Andrew Santino?

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• 39:28Bobby Lee?

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• 39:37Andrew Santino?

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• 39:52Speaker 00

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• 40:39Speaker 08

  In deepest jungle, Cartier's panther spies a wandering bird that circles the skies. A lovebird, lost and missing his mate, is far from his path in lonely state. Dry your tears, now there's a start. Follow my steps to heal your heart. Panther stalks through the leaves with silent grace. Through the power of scent, she finds the trace. Behold, two lovers reunite in the skies. A most precious thrill sparkling in their eyes. Together forever, they shine each day, bound by the beauty of Cartier.

• 41:23Andrew Santino?

  Do you see one that you want to do, Jules? I mean, you love scary movies. What about Seven? The scene from Seven? Yeah, let's do Seven. Who are you gonna be, Jules? Mills? Or John Doe?

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Um... Who's Mills?

• 41:38Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 41:39Bobby Lee?

  You're John Doe?

• 41:39Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna be John Doe.

• 41:40Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, you gotta be John Doe. Because I'll do stage directions.

• 41:43Andrew Santino?

  Okay, please.

• 41:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Who's Mills again? I don't remember.

• 41:46Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 41:46Speaker 01

  Who's Mills?

• 41:47Bobby Lee?

  That's Brad Pitt's character, right?

• 41:51Andrew Santino?

  Then, Dax, you are Somerset in this scene. Okay.

• 41:55Bobby Lee?

  And remember, Somerset? You're an old black man.

• 41:59Andrew Santino?

  You really gotta turn on that voice.

• 42:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:02Andrew Santino?

  Is it Morgan Freeman?

• 42:03Bobby Lee?

  Yes, it is.

• 42:03Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever seen? The movie? Okay. Even better.

• 42:09Bobby Lee?

  Marshlands, Early Evening.

• 42:13Andrew Santino?

  Here he comes.

• 42:15Bobby Lee?

  That's what? What's up?

• 42:18Bobby Lee?

  You're Kevin Spacey on this.

• 42:20Andrew Santino?

  That was my Spacey.

• 42:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay, my bad.

• 42:23Andrew Santino?

  I was talking about a boy he met at the bar.

• 42:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, extension. Extension, Marshlands, Early Evening.

• 42:29Andrew Santino?

  Here he comes.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:33Andrew Santino?

  I wish I could have... Lived like you.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Shut up. The fuck you talking about?

• 42:40Andrew Santino?

  Do you hear me, detective? I'm trying to tell you how much I admire you and your pretty wife.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:45Andrew Santino?

  Tracy.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  What you fucking say?

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  Too Asian. Read the whole thing.

• 42:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:54Bobby Lee?

  Mills freezes, turns to Doe. Doe smiles. Somerset is close.

• 42:58Andrew Santino?

  It's disturbing how easily a member of the press can purchase information from the men in your precinct.

• 43:03Bobby Lee?

  Somerset starts running towards Mill.

• 43:05Andrew Santino?

  Throw your gun down. Now that is Morgan Freeman. Now that is Morgan Freeman. Give me two me one more time.

• 43:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're also screaming it.

• 43:16Andrew Santino?

  Throw your gun down.

• 43:18Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you...

• 43:20Andrew Santino?

  No, that was laughter.

• 43:20Bobby Lee?

  I understand that, but you know how far apart they are?

• 43:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're yelling.

• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  You're literally like, you know what I mean, a quarter of a mile away.

• 43:26Andrew Santino?

  Go for it.

• 43:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:27Andrew Santino?

  Throw your gun down. Same argument.

• 43:29Bobby Lee?

  Very good.

• 43:30Andrew Santino?

  Same argument.

• 43:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:31Andrew Santino?

  I visited your home this morning after you'd left.

• 43:34Bobby Lee?

  Mills is filled with aching terror.

• 43:36Andrew Santino?

  I tried to play husband. I tried to taste the life of a simple man.

• 43:40Bobby Lee?

  Somerset is 50 yards away and closing.

• 43:42Andrew Santino?

  Throw it away. Louder. Throw it away. Loud as you can.

• 43:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:46Andrew Santino?

  Throw it away. It didn't work out, so I took a souvenir. Her pretty head. Mills.

• 43:53Bobby Lee?

  Mills raises his gun. Mills raises his gun in the air.

• 43:56Andrew Santino?

  Mills, gun in the air. No, no, no. Give me the gun.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  What's going on over there?

• 44:04Bobby Lee?

  Somerset throws his own weapon away.

• 44:06Andrew Santino?

  Put the gun down.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Show me the box. What was in the box?

• 44:11Andrew Santino?

  Because I envy your normal life. Put the gun down, David. It seems that envy is my sin.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  What's in the box? What's in the fucking box?

• 44:22Andrew Santino?

  I just told you.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  You lied. You're a fucking liar. Shut up.

• 44:27Bobby Lee?

  Cut, cut for a second. Just cut for a second, right?

• 44:32Bobby Lee?

  You, you, I think you subconsciously know that there's something terrifying in the box. And you, I think you do know that it's your wife's severed head.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  So you're angry.

• 44:45Bobby Lee?

  Merch more panic.

• 44:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, how would you feel if you, if you did, if you, if someone had a severed head of someone that you love?

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Scared.

• 44:53Andrew Santino?

  Scared.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:54Bobby Lee?

  And pissed.

• 44:55Andrew Santino?

  And mad.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  And mad.

• 44:56Bobby Lee?

  Rage.

• 44:56Andrew Santino?

  Well, imagine if someone came to you in the desert with a box and Tito's Bobby's head was in there. How would you feel?

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Mad.

• 45:04Andrew Santino?

  But not with a smile.

• 45:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't think that would be a good example. I think, um...

• 45:09Andrew Santino?

  Somebody else.

• 45:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, um...

• 45:11Speaker 01

  No, I'd be mad.

• 45:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, mad.

• 45:13Bobby Lee?

  Issa, your sister.

• 45:14Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, Issa's head is in a box.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 45:17Andrew Santino?

  No, not in a happy, don't not, don't...

• 45:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, while you're smiling.

• 45:20Andrew Santino?

  The smiling is crazy.

• 45:21Bobby Lee?

  Well, let's go back to, um, uh, let's go back to "It seems that envy is my sin."

• 45:26Andrew Santino?

  It seems that envy is my sin.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  What's in the box? What's in the fucking box?

• 45:31Andrew Santino?

  I just told you.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  You lied. You're a fucking liar. Shut up.

• 45:36Speaker 07

  It's what he wants. He wants you to shoot him.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  No, no, you tell me. That's not true. That's not true.

• 45:46Andrew Santino?

  Become vengeance, David.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  She's all right. You tell me.

• 45:50Bobby Lee?

  He's crying at them. He's crying at them. She's crying at...

• 45:53Speaker 01

  I'm crying?

• 45:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, kind of crying rage.

• 45:57Andrew Santino?

  Become wrath.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Tell me she's all right.

• 46:01Andrew Santino?

  Are you laughing?

• 46:04Speaker 07

  If you murder a suspect, David.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 46:08Andrew Santino?

  She begged for her life, detective. She begged for her life and the only life with a baby inside her.

• 46:14Bobby Lee?

  Somerset slaps John Doe across the face.

• 46:16Speaker 07

  Shut up.

• 46:17Bobby Lee?

  Mills' face lit fills with confusion, then a wave of horror. Doe's eyes register shock.

• 46:22Andrew Santino?

  He didn't know.

• 46:23Bobby Lee?

  Mills raises and lowers the gun a few times, sobbing.

• 46:26Speaker 07

  Give me the gun, David.

• 46:28Bobby Lee?

  Mills turns the gun on John Doe.

• 46:31Speaker 07

  David, if you kill him, we, he will win.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  Oh, God. Oh, God.

• 46:38Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 46:38Bobby Lee?

  Dude.

• 46:39Andrew Santino?

  Morgan Freeman would be jolly.

• 46:41Bobby Lee?

  He would be jolly. Yeah, yeah.

• 46:43Andrew Santino?

  So good. Dax?

• 46:46Bobby Lee?

  Hello? Okay. Very good.

• 46:47Speaker 07

  Thank you, thank you.

• 46:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, very good.

• 46:49Andrew Santino?

  Good stuff.

• 46:49Bobby Lee?

  Very good stuff.

• 46:50Andrew Santino?

  Those are very good.

• 46:51Bobby Lee?

  Very good. You want a temp blue velvet or?

• 46:54Speaker 07

  I don't know.

• 46:56Andrew Santino?

  It's a good scene. Do you miss acting?

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  It was good.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was good.

• 46:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was good.

• 47:00Andrew Santino?

  Do you miss acting?

• 47:01Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, I love acting.

• 47:03Andrew Santino?

  We gotta get you back. We gotta make him, we have to write a movie and get Dax in it.

• 47:06Bobby Lee?

  He's gotta be the nemesis, though.

• 47:07Andrew Santino?

  You have to be evil.

• 47:08Bobby Lee?

  You have to be evil.

• 47:09Andrew Santino?

  Right? Would you play an evil guy?

• 47:11Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:11Andrew Santino?

  What's the most evil thing you've done in your life?

• 47:14Speaker 07

  Killed a fish.

• 47:15Bobby Lee?

  Purposely?

• 47:17Speaker 07

  Purposely, but because my grandpa had left, we went fishing and you know you have to kill the fish after you catch it.

• 47:22Andrew Santino?

  You don't have to.

• 47:23Speaker 07

  Well, I couldn't get the hook out of its mouth.

• 47:27Speaker 07

  So I, and then he had left to go help my mom, and then I had to kill the fish with a rock.

• 47:35Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, will you Google serial killer tendencies ties with killing fish with rocks? Is there a tie to?

• 47:40Speaker 07

  Well, check if it's like while people are fishing.

• 47:43Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, that doesn't matter. That's, I think we got two well-known serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish, have documented ties to killing fish and other small animals.

• 47:52Speaker 07

  But I didn't like it.

• 47:53Andrew Santino?

  This, you didn't, it says right here, neither of them enjoyed it while it was happening. They were fishing with their grandfather.

• 47:59Bobby Lee?

  Did you cry while you were doing it?

• 48:00Speaker 07

  Um, no, no.

• 48:02Andrew Santino?

  They show tendencies to not cry at all while they're killing the fish. Did you feel anything at all?

• 48:07Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:08Andrew Santino?

  What did you feel?

• 48:09Speaker 07

  Uh, terrible.

• 48:10Andrew Santino?

  Studies show the word they use is terrible at the beginning, but then sexual arousal when it's over.

• 48:15Bobby Lee?

  Did you have an erection?

• 48:16Speaker 07

  No.

• 48:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 48:18Andrew Santino?

  Most of them can't get an erection, it says here, because of the terror, terror. Wow. Do you think you may have some serial killer tendencies?

• 48:26Speaker 07

  Um, no, but that maybe aligns.

• 48:30Andrew Santino?

  So, yeah?

• 48:32Speaker 07

  Maybe one, maybe singular.

• 48:36Bobby Lee?

  I think he's the opposite of a serial killer. I think he's a good guy. I think your heart is so pure.

• 48:42Andrew Santino?

  Well, he could just be a regular killer and not

• 48:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:44Andrew Santino?

  Realize, you know, he could

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:46Andrew Santino?

  No, he's not a killer.

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  I think you're a sweet guy.

• 48:49Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 48:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Zach's also a party guy.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  I've seen him a lot in parties that I went.

• 48:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, what party did you go to where you saw Dax?

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Um, the Zach Justice one, and another one, and another one.

• 49:03Speaker 07

  Oh, that's true. It was my friend Ryan's birthday.

• 49:06Bobby Lee?

  Hmm, and you went to that?

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:08Bobby Lee?

  A lot of influencers, people there?

• 49:10Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 49:11Bobby Lee?

  A lot of young people?

• 49:11Andrew Santino?

  Who invited you?

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Zach.

• 49:13Bobby Lee?

  Cause you know she's on his podcast now as a permanent.

• 49:16Andrew Santino?

  I see that.

• 49:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:17Andrew Santino?

  I see that on the internet.

• 49:20Bobby Lee?

  How do you, wait, wait, how do you feel about that, Andrew?

• 49:22Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're a bad friend, then you do Tiger Belly, then you do Trash Tuesday, then you do this. You're kind of like a pod, you're kind of a pod hopper, if I'm being honest.

• 49:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's be, no loyalty.

• 49:30Andrew Santino?

  No, you're a pod hopper. Look, there's a pod hopper right there.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 49:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, look at that.

• 49:33Andrew Santino?

  There she is, pod hopping all over the place.

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  Pod hopping all over the place. Look at her.

• 49:38Andrew Santino?

  You're, you're a pod hopper. It's actually not a good thing to be.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  It's just family podcast, Tiger Belly.

• 49:44Andrew Santino?

  Ew, you pod hop with family?

• 49:46Bobby Lee?

  More, more.

• 49:47Andrew Santino?

  You're evil pod hopping. Yeah, that's what's evil is pure, is pod hopping.

• 49:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:51Andrew Santino?

  You stay loyal to us, but, no, she's pod hopping.

• 49:54Bobby Lee?

  He's pod hopping, dude.

• 49:55Andrew Santino?

  Are you and Zach just good friends? How do you know him?

• 49:58Speaker 01

  He's too Bobby.

• 49:59Andrew Santino?

  Right. So you introduced the pod hopper to her?

• 50:02Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I did.

• 50:02Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's your fault.

• 50:03Bobby Lee?

  You know, he swooped in.

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  Pod hopping.

• 50:05Bobby Lee?

  He pod hopped.

• 50:06Andrew Santino?

  Mrs. I don't feel like podcasting.

• 50:08Bobby Lee?

  I had to force you to do it.

• 50:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Now, pod hopping.

• 50:12Bobby Lee?

  Now, anyone asks, you'll do it.

• 50:13Andrew Santino?

  How excited are you for, about the Dodgers?

• 50:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, incredible.

• 50:17Andrew Santino?

  You're such a big Dodger fan.

• 50:18Bobby Lee?

  I am.

• 50:19Andrew Santino?

  And where are they now?

• 50:20Bobby Lee?

  World Series.

• 50:21Andrew Santino?

  You named some of your favorite Dodgers?

• 50:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Freeman, I like. Freddie Freeman, I like. Shohei.

• 50:26Andrew Santino?

  The best.

• 50:26Bobby Lee?

  That other Japan, that, that game that he played last Friday.

• 50:30Andrew Santino?

  It's probably the greatest baseball game ever played. You're a big Dodger fan, Dax?

• 50:34Speaker 07

  As big of, like, any other team.

• 50:37Andrew Santino?

  That doesn't, that's not an answer.

• 50:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's not an answer.

• 50:40Andrew Santino?

  That's not an, that's like when you say, do you like food? And they're like, I like food like people like food.

• 50:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Andrew Santino?

  There's Shohei, so handsome.

• 50:46Bobby Lee?

  He's handsome elitist.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Big boy.

• 50:48Andrew Santino?

  Big boy, he's a big boy. That's what she goes through, right to big boy.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:52Andrew Santino?

  He is a big, big boy. Ja, that's Japan's finest export.

• 50:55Bobby Lee?

  He has Pearl Harbor energy all the time.

• 50:57Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's payback, baby.

• 51:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:01Andrew Santino?

  And that's his girlfriend?

• 51:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:02Andrew Santino?

  Right there?

• 51:03Speaker 02

  That's wife.

• 51:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wife, sorry.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  Mamiko.

• 51:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  What is it?

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Mamiko.

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  Say it again?

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Mamiko.

• 51:09Andrew Santino?

  Very good. You don't have to... It's not Hello Kitty.

• 51:12Bobby Lee?

  Do you think though, do you think in his head though?

• 51:13Andrew Santino?

  She makes me look tan. That's what I like about Japanese women. They make me look tan.

• 51:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Do you think his mind is like, I shouldn't marry because now I think I could get white pussy?

• 51:22Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 51:22Bobby Lee?

  Do you think or not?

• 51:23Speaker 02

  That's what you think.

• 51:24Andrew Santino?

  No. Dude, he's from Japan.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  Bob's mad now.

• 51:27Andrew Santino?

  He's from Japan. His favorite, I think Japan, he has to, he represents Japan. He's gotta have a Japanese wife.

• 51:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he has to.

• 51:34Andrew Santino?

  He has some dumb American wife. What a waste of his time. He's got some bozo goofball. Like he played in Orange County before. Imagine if he was with some Orange County girl, some like Laguna Beach chick. You'd be bummed.

• 51:45Bobby Lee?

  She is very pretty.

• 51:46Andrew Santino?

  She's gorgeous.

• 51:46Bobby Lee?

  She's gorgeous.

• 51:47Andrew Santino?

  Gorgeous.

• 51:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Beautiful Japanese girl.

• 51:49Bobby Lee?

  What's, why are you laughing?

• 51:51Speaker 02

  Because I know you have that mindset of like holding out till like you have succeeded a lot.

• 51:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, Bobby has an American.

• 51:55Bobby Lee?

  What are you talking about dude?

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Cause you can get the hottest girls when you're at your richest and most famous. And I know you actively seek that. Cause I would too. I get it.

• 52:03Andrew Santino?

  You've said to me, an Asian American at their highest pinnacle is getting a hot white girl. You've said that. You've said that. You've said that as a, as a successful Asian American, the pinnacle is getting a hot white girl.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  It's called playing in the snow.

• 52:17Andrew Santino?

  Playing in the snow. Snow bunny life.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:20Andrew Santino?

  You say that dude. Don't pretend like that's not true.

• 52:24Andrew Santino?

  Is that not true?

• 52:26Speaker 07

  No.

• 52:27Bobby Lee?

  It's not.

• 52:28Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Acting.

• 52:30Bobby Lee?

  I mean, do you think, would you ever date an Asian woman?

• 52:33Speaker 07

  Uh, yes.

• 52:34Bobby Lee?

  Have you?

• 52:35Speaker 07

  Um, no. I, I've been on a date.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  With an Asian?

• 52:40Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 52:40Andrew Santino?

  You can't take this the wrong way. Please. You seem like you do like Asian girl.

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:46Andrew Santino?

  Okay. You've got, I like Asian girl, white guy energy.

• 52:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Like, it's almost a fetish.

• 52:51Speaker 07

  Oh, um, no. Like a tech guy.

• 52:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:56Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 52:56Bobby Lee?

  Do you like, do you like dried squid?

• 52:58Speaker 07

  Uh, I've never had that.

• 53:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Seaweed.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Porn, what do you watch?

• 53:04Speaker 07

  Oh, I don't know.

• 53:05Bobby Lee?

  He doesn't watch. Do you watch it?

• 53:07Speaker 07

  Um, sometimes.

• 53:11Bobby Lee?

  What's your Google history? I mean, your Pornhub history?

• 53:14Andrew Santino?

  The feds probably know.

• 53:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 07

  What were we talking about earlier?

• 53:21Bobby Lee?

  Really? It's uncomfortable?

• 53:23Speaker 07

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 53:24Bobby Lee?

  You don't want to talk about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:28Bobby Lee?

  It's, you know, it's so funny, you... Because I know you now, pretty well. You don't like to talk real private stuff.

• 53:35Speaker 07

  True.

• 53:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to protect some things about your private life.

• 53:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:39Andrew Santino?

  Why is that, you think?

• 53:42Speaker 07

  I'm just too timid talking about porn on a podcast.

• 53:46Andrew Santino?

  I agree. It's stupid. We shouldn't be talking about it at all.

• 53:49Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 53:49Andrew Santino?

  I agree with you.

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  I agree too.

• 53:51Andrew Santino?

  Say it. Say, "It's stupid, guys, to talk about this crap."

• 53:54Speaker 07

  It's stupid to talk about this crap. Let's talk about something smarter.

• 53:58Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 54:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh! I see.

• 54:03Andrew Santino?

  And he's right. Let's, tell me, give us something smarter. That is true.

• 54:08Andrew Santino?

  What would you like to talk about that's more intellectual?

• 54:10Bobby Lee?

  You know much about that A1 Atlas meteor approaching Earth?

• 54:14Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:15Bobby Lee?

  Is that what it's called, A1? Yeah. Tell us about this, this comet that's hurling toward Earth.

• 54:22Speaker 07

  It's risky, but people aren't too worried.

• 54:25Bobby Lee?

  What's risky about it?

• 54:26Speaker 07

  That it could collide or something.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  But do you think it's an alien spacecraft?

• 54:29Speaker 07

  No.

• 54:30Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 54:31Andrew Santino?

  We have another way to test intelligence. I have a Halloween trivia game. Let's see how smart you really are.

• 54:43Bobby Lee?

  How do you, do you yell it out, or do you just raise your hand?

• 54:45Speaker 09

  It's gonna be like the old days. It's point-based. There's 25 questions. We're all gonna go in order of that. Everybody gets to buzz in and go first. But we'll start with you being able to go first, but... I mean, do you want to buzz in, or do you want to go, everybody equal gets a first question?

• 54:59Andrew Santino?

  Everybody equal.

• 55:00Speaker 09

  Okay. I'm not gonna plug in, because you're not gonna see this.

• 55:03Bobby Lee?

  So it'll just go down the line? Like, if I don't get it right, then it's your turn, your turn?

• 55:06Speaker 09

  Well, you guys will all guess, because some of them are gonna be like, multiple choice. Not multiple choice, but like, like, question one, what is the most popular Halloween candy?

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  What's the most popular Halloween candy? Bobby, you're up. What do you think?

• 55:20Bobby Lee?

  Fuck, that's a good one.

• 55:24Bobby Lee?

  Fuck, man.

• 55:24Andrew Santino?

  I know my answer.

• 55:28Andrew Santino?

  Do we have to go on?

• 55:28Bobby Lee?

  Candy corn.

• 55:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

• 55:30Speaker 09

  Candy corn?

• 55:31Andrew Santino?

  I was gonna say candy corn, that's what I was gonna say.

• 55:32Speaker 09

  Guess something else.

• 55:33Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 55:33Speaker 09

  Guess something else.

• 55:34Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's the one I-

• 55:35Bobby Lee?

  That's not the game, the game's not good that way.

• 55:36Speaker 09

  Okay, cool, you can, I mean, you guys can both guess candy corn.

• 55:41Speaker 09

  And then if you both are right, you both get a point.

• 55:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think that's good.

• 55:43Andrew Santino?

  Candy corn is my guess.

• 55:44Bobby Lee?

  Candy corn.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  Uh, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?

• 55:47Andrew Santino?

  Oof.

• 55:48Bobby Lee?

  Ooh, that's a good one.

• 55:49Andrew Santino?

  Okay, we do candy corn, they do cups.

• 55:52Speaker 09

  They're correct.

• 55:53Andrew Santino?

  Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

• 55:54Speaker 09

  One point for Rudy, one point for Dax.

• 55:56Andrew Santino?

  That'll piss me right off.

• 55:57Bobby Lee?

  That pisses me off, dude.

• 55:58Speaker 09

  What was candy corn originally called? Andrew starts.

• 56:02Andrew Santino?

  What was candy corn originally called?

• 56:04Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 56:05Andrew Santino?

  Candy corn was originally called Witch's Toes.

• 56:11Andrew Santino?

  Witch's Toes.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 56:14Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 56:15Andrew Santino?

  I don't fucking know!

• 56:18Andrew Santino?

  I have no idea.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Pumpkin fingers.

• 56:21Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, pumpkin fingers! Body parts, it seems to be the theme.

• 56:24Speaker 07

  Candy pyramid.

• 56:26Andrew Santino?

  Candy pyramid, very specific.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Harvest candy.

• 56:28Andrew Santino?

  Harvest candy, that's actually good, too.

• 56:31Speaker 09

  The answer is chicken feed.

• 56:32Andrew Santino?

  Chicken feed!

• 56:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 56:34Speaker 09

  Next one. What candy is given to soldiers in battle in the Korean War?

• 56:39Andrew Santino?

  Ketamine.

• 56:40Bobby Lee?

  In the Korean War?

• 56:41Speaker 09

  Starting with Rudy.

• 56:42Andrew Santino?

  Methamphetamine. What, what-

• 56:44Speaker 09

  What candy was given?

• 56:45Andrew Santino?

  Soldiers in the Korean War.

• 56:47Bobby Lee?

  I think I know.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Sugar, the sugarcane candy?

• 56:50Bobby Lee?

  Sugar cane candy.

• 56:51Andrew Santino?

  Sugarcane candy.

• 56:52Speaker 07

  Hershey's.

• 56:53Andrew Santino?

  Hershey's.

• 56:54Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna go with Hershey's.

• 56:55Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna say sugar babies.

• 56:58Speaker 09

  Tootsie Roll.

• 56:59Andrew Santino?

  Fuck! Damn it!

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  These are hard, Dan.

• 57:02Speaker 09

  This is one where you have the opportunity to get three points.

• 57:05Andrew Santino?

  Dax, you're up first.

• 57:05Speaker 09

  Or two points, or one point. What are the top three most popular Halloween costumes for dogs?

• 57:11Andrew Santino?

  For dogs?

• 57:12Speaker 09

  For dogs.

• 57:13Bobby Lee?

  For dogs?

• 57:14Andrew Santino?

  Ladybug.

• 57:15Speaker 07

  Ladybug? Uh, scarecrow? Astronaut?

• 57:23Bobby Lee?

  Me?

• 57:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 57:24Bobby Lee?

  Sunflower.

• 57:27Bobby Lee?

  Vampire.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Um.

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  Mummy.

• 57:37Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Toto.

• 57:40Andrew Santino?

  Um.

• 57:44Andrew Santino?

  Zombie. And, uh, butterfly.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  Um, ghost.

• 57:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, ghost.

• 57:52Andrew Santino?

  Ghost. I forgot about ghost. How do we fucking forget about? Firefighter?

• 57:57Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 57:57Andrew Santino?

  That's so funny. No, yeah, you mean Dalmatian.

• 57:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, firefighter. Yeah, yeah.

• 58:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I get it. I get it. I get it.

• 58:03Bobby Lee?

  I get it too.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Butterfly too.

• 58:04Andrew Santino?

  Butterfly. What are the three?

• 58:06Speaker 09

  Pumpkin.

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  No one of us.

• 58:08Speaker 09

  Hot dog.

• 58:09Andrew Santino?

  None of us.

• 58:10Speaker 09

  And bumblebee.

• 58:11Andrew Santino?

  None of us.

• 58:11Bobby Lee?

  None of us.

• 58:12Speaker 09

  It is still two to nothing. I mean, one to one to nothing to nothing.

• 58:17Andrew Santino?

  Bumblebee over butterfly or ladybug? Bullshit.

• 58:20Speaker 09

  That's what it says.

• 58:21Andrew Santino?

  Fuck you!

• 58:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

• 58:23Andrew Santino?

  Where'd you get this off? A Truth Social?

• 58:24Speaker 09

  I pulled it from a bunch of different sources.

• 58:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 58:27Andrew Santino?

  I only make bugs, bumblebees.

• 58:30Speaker 09

  In what American state is it illegal to be a priest or nun for Halloween?

• 58:34Andrew Santino?

  I know what it is. Oh, I already know.

• 58:40Bobby Lee?

  Kansas.

• 58:43Andrew Santino?

  I actually, now that I think. I was gonna say Utah.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 58:48Andrew Santino?

  Name any state.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Tennessee?

• 58:50Andrew Santino?

  The good guess.

• 58:52Speaker 09

  Um, Arkansas. Ooh. These might be too hard. This is Alabama.

• 58:56Andrew Santino?

  No, he was close. Give him a point. He's close.

• 58:58Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. You don't. No, you don't. No, no.

• 59:00Speaker 09

  We need to start racking up points. Yeah, he's closest.

• 59:02Andrew Santino?

  Alabama and Arkansas are neighbors. That's close.

• 59:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 59:04Andrew Santino?

  We were nowhere fucking near it.

• 59:07Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 59:08Speaker 09

  A pumpkin is a fruit. True or false?

• 59:11Andrew Santino?

  True.

• 59:14Bobby Lee?

  True.

• 59:16Andrew Santino?

  True.

• 59:19Andrew Santino?

  You gotta go against the grains, kid.

• 59:20Speaker 05

  False.

• 59:21Bobby Lee?

  It's true!

• 59:22Andrew Santino?

  It's true, idiot. Idiot. Idiot, idiot.

• 59:28Speaker 09

  Bobby and Rudy tied at one point.

• 59:30Andrew Santino?

  Nice.

• 59:30Speaker 09

  Andrew and Dax tied at three.

• 59:32Andrew Santino?

  Let's go, bitch.

• 59:33Speaker 09

  Uh, Dax, which famed horror actor performed the monologue in Michael Jackson's Thriller?

• 59:40Speaker 07

  Um, Vincent Price?

• 59:44Bobby Lee?

  Bela Lugosi.

• 59:47Andrew Santino?

  Emerald Lugosi? Sorry. Um...

• 59:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, god. Why did you say Vincent Price?

• 59:59Speaker 07

  I remember there's that, like, deep voice in that song.

• 1:00:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Andrew Santino?

  Um...

• 1:00:09Andrew Santino?

  I don't know.

• 1:00:11Andrew Santino?

  I'll say Vincent Price. I'm gonna copy you.

• 1:00:15Speaker 05

  I'll copy you, dad.

• 1:00:16Bobby Lee?

  Vincent Price is correct!

• 1:00:17Andrew Santino?

  Yes! Very good guess!

• 1:00:19Speaker 07

  Cool, thanks.

• 1:00:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're welcome, you're welcome.

• 1:00:21Bobby Lee?

  I- I- I- I'm getting out now, I'm getting- I'm getting out now. There's no way to come back.

• 1:00:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there is.

• 1:00:25Speaker 09

  Hold on, there's enough questions where you can tie.

• 1:00:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 1:00:28Speaker 09

  Um, so the standings right now, Dax and Rudy are tied with five.

• 1:00:32Andrew Santino?

  Tied four.

• 1:00:32Speaker 09

  Andrew's with four, and Bobby is taking up the rear with one.

• 1:00:36Andrew Santino?

  You're always taking it up the rear.

• 1:00:38Bobby Lee?

  His tone, dude? He can no longer be the question guy.

• 1:00:42Andrew Santino?

  Richie should be doing it.

• 1:00:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richie, can you take over?

• 1:00:45Andrew Santino?

  Richie, take over.

• 1:00:46Bobby Lee?

  Richie, Richie, take over.

• 1:00:47Andrew Santino?

  Richie, it's gonna hurt.

• 1:00:47Bobby Lee?

  I think it's- it's his negativity. He's- he's- he's embodied Groucho Marx right now. I don't like it. Yeah, so Richie, you take- no, Richie takes over.

• 1:00:55Andrew Santino?

  Richie takes over.

• 1:00:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead, Richie.

• 1:00:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Richie, go ahead, bud.

• 1:00:58Speaker 05

  Alright, how many Halloween movies has Jamie Lee Curtis appeared in?

• 1:01:03Speaker 09

  The closest.

• 1:01:03Andrew Santino?

  Okay, Rudy.

• 1:01:06Bobby Lee?

  Perfect.

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Six?

• 1:01:10Speaker 09

  Two.

• 1:01:11Bobby Lee?

  One.

• 1:01:13Bobby Lee?

  One.

• 1:01:14Speaker 09

  Seven. Rudy gets it again.

• 1:01:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god. Don't look at me dude. I'm in the last place. I don't remember. You go with the again, against what I'm saying. I don't remember at all.

• 1:01:24Speaker 09

  In Twilight.

• 1:01:25Bobby Lee?

  No, Richie. Richie dude.

• 1:01:29Speaker 09

  In Twilight.

• 1:01:31Bobby Lee?

  Richie, Richie.

• 1:01:33Speaker 09

  Alright.

• 1:01:34Speaker 05

  Alright, in Twilight, what year did Edward Cullen turn into a vampire?

• 1:01:40Bobby Lee?

  Never seen the movie. In what year?

• 1:01:42Speaker 09

  What year? Closest to the year.

• 1:01:44Bobby Lee?

  Rudy's up first. No, you don't even say closest to the year. You say closest to the year Richie.

• 1:01:50Speaker 05

  Closest to the year.

• 1:01:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Like seventeen twenty?

• 1:01:57Andrew Santino?

  Eighteen twenty.

• 1:01:58Bobby Lee?

  What's the question? Richie?

• 1:02:01Speaker 05

  In Twilight, what year did Edward Cullen turn into a vampire?

• 1:02:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, in the movie, like his character.

• 1:02:08Speaker 09

  So you said, you already guessed. Seventeen twenty and you guessed eighteen twenty.

• 1:02:13Bobby Lee?

  Sixteen fifty.

• 1:02:17Andrew Santino?

  I think fifteen fourteen.

• 1:02:20Speaker 09

  Nineteen eighteen.

• 1:02:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 1:02:23Speaker 09

  So that is Dax again.

• 1:02:24Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen the movie.

• 1:02:25Speaker 09

  So Rudy has the opportunity to tie here.

• 1:02:27Bobby Lee?

  Stop, stop for a second.

• 1:02:29Speaker 09

  The last question.

• 1:02:30Bobby Lee?

  Here it goes.

• 1:02:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Can I say something? Okay. Richie does the question.

• 1:02:37Speaker 09

  Okay, yep, okay, yep.

• 1:02:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, alright?

• 1:02:41Speaker 09

  Yep.

• 1:02:42Bobby Lee?

  I mean, how, how, how do I tell you? Alright? It's, it's irritating. I don't know what it is. I think that's why I'm losing.

• 1:02:48Speaker 09

  That's why, that's why.

• 1:02:50Bobby Lee?

  I think that's why I'm losing.

• 1:02:51Speaker 09

  That's why, yes.

• 1:02:51Bobby Lee?

  Alright? So I don't even hear a word from you. I love you bud, but Richie from now on, I'm so sorry guys. I'm sorry. He's the reason I'm losing. You're fucking, go ahead Richie.

• 1:03:03Speaker 05

  Don't worry, I'm your good luck charm here. How many minutes does Michael Keaton appear on screen in Beetlejuice?

• 1:03:10Bobby Lee?

  What? Say it again?

• 1:03:11Speaker 05

  Uh, how many minutes does Michael Keaton appear on screen in Beetlejuice?

• 1:03:15Bobby Lee?

  Okay, Dax.

• 1:03:16Andrew Santino?

  Ten.

• 1:03:18Speaker 09

  Seventeen minutes.

• 1:03:21Andrew Santino?

  Twenty-eight minutes.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  Seven minutes.

• 1:03:24Speaker 09

  Seventeen minutes, Bobby gets it right and wins the game.

• 1:03:27Andrew Santino?

  I told ya! Good luck, John.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  How did he win?

• 1:03:32Speaker 09

  No, he didn't, Dax. Dax still wins.

• 1:03:34Andrew Santino?

  Dax won.

• 1:03:35Speaker 09

  Final score: Bobby Lee, three, Andrew Santino, five, Rudy Giuliani, six, Dax Flames, seven. Happy Halloween.

• 1:03:43Andrew Santino?

  You're no longer welcome on the show, Dax. You understand me? Yeah. You don't come in here and you win. Okay. You're supposed to throw the game for us. I'll give a point to everyone. So that gets you down six, five, four.

• 1:03:56Bobby Lee?

  Next time we do a game, right?

• 1:03:58Andrew Santino?

  Here it goes.

• 1:03:59Bobby Lee?

  No more dates and square footage of a fucking area. That's insane.

• 1:04:03Speaker 09

  There was no square footage.

• 1:04:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, or feet, or of any, it's insane, right? From now on, it's just fucking facts.

• 1:04:10Andrew Santino?

  Facts, yeah, it's only facts.

• 1:04:11Speaker 09

  You didn't get the fax ones right.

• 1:04:12Andrew Santino?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:14Speaker 09

  You got the guessing ones right.

• 1:04:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah?

• 1:04:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you ruined, I think you ruined my Halloween, dude.

• 1:04:24Bobby Lee?

  This is the worst Halloween I've ever had.

• 1:04:25Andrew Santino?

  Come on!

• 1:04:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, I'm being real. You ruined anything. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:28Andrew Santino?

  Any candy that you're excited about getting this year?

• 1:04:31Bobby Lee?

  No, because I have access to all the candy I want.

• 1:04:34Andrew Santino?

  Not me. This is the only time of year I'm allowed to have it in the house.

• 1:04:36Bobby Lee?

  Really? So what are you, what are you, what are you looking forward to?

• 1:04:40Andrew Santino?

  The Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are shaped like pumpkins.

• 1:04:43Bobby Lee?

  Mmm.

• 1:04:44Andrew Santino?

  One of my favorites. What are you excited about this year?

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Um, Snickers.

• 1:04:51Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 1:04:52Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:04:53Andrew Santino?

  Don't do it.

• 1:04:53Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  Nothing.

• 1:04:56Bobby Lee?

  Nothing?

• 1:04:58Andrew Santino?

  Nothing.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:04:59Andrew Santino?

  Dax? Uh, Nerds gummy clusters are good. That makes sense. I do like that.

• 1:05:05Bobby Lee?

  I like the sour gel or some sort, you know?

• 1:05:07Andrew Santino?

  Just gel? A packet of sour gel?

• 1:05:09Bobby Lee?

  I went to, um, in Burbank, there's a, um, horror museum.

• 1:05:15Andrew Santino?

  I'm sorry. Rudy with the Snickers, it's like, it's right there. It's veiny. Yeah.

• 1:05:23Bobby Lee?

  I mean, last year, what-

• 1:05:24Speaker 06

  Reminds you of something?

• 1:05:28Speaker 06

  Snickers, but I only like the king size.

• 1:05:34Andrew Santino?

  You fucking perv, you're gross.

• 1:05:36Bobby Lee?

  Perfect.

• 1:05:37Andrew Santino?

  You don't even like Snickers, you pervert.

• 1:05:41Bobby Lee?

  I went roller skating again last night by myself.

• 1:05:43Andrew Santino?

  Why are you doing that?

• 1:05:45Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  Invite someone to come with you.

• 1:05:46Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:05:47Andrew Santino?

  Why are you going solo skating? Because what if you fall again and get hurt?

• 1:05:51Bobby Lee?

  I did fall a couple of times. And then I fell once, I got up, and then there was a he happens to be black, he is, he's, he has a referee outfit on. And he goes, "Keep it moving."

• 1:06:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, you can't.

• 1:06:03Bobby Lee?

  I'm like, I literally got the wind knocked out of me. Give me a second. Keep it moving.

• 1:06:09Andrew Santino?

  Well, you got to, you got to get up and go, man. There's a whole thing going on.

• 1:06:11Bobby Lee?

  I know. And then you got to put your thumbs up to see if you're all right.

• 1:06:15Andrew Santino?

  Were you okay?

• 1:06:16Bobby Lee?

  So when you slam, you have to go like this.

• 1:06:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's how they.

• 1:06:20Bobby Lee?

  It's so humiliating.

• 1:06:21Andrew Santino?

  That's how they know you're not hurt.

• 1:06:21Bobby Lee?

  I'm okay, I'm okay.

• 1:06:23Speaker 09

  Was it your first time since the incident?

• 1:06:25Bobby Lee?

  No, I've been going by myself.

• 1:06:27Andrew Santino?

  Training.

• 1:06:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:29Andrew Santino?

  It's never going to happen again. You're never going to fall again on.

• 1:06:30Bobby Lee?

  It's the most lonesome human experience you could ever have.

• 1:06:34Andrew Santino?

  You put on headphones?

• 1:06:35Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:06:35Andrew Santino?

  You just.

• 1:06:36Bobby Lee?

  I'm just skating around. This is 90-year-old Japanese man. He's one foot backwards.

• 1:06:42Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:06:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's killing it, right? And it's just like, I'm gonna, oh, this is, yeah, this is my life.

• 1:06:49Andrew Santino?

  You're that guy.

• 1:06:50Bobby Lee?

  No family, nobody.

• 1:06:52Andrew Santino?

  Stop it. You can invite so many people that would love to come skate.

• 1:06:54Bobby Lee?

  No one's going to go skating on a Monday night.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  You should have asked mama.

• 1:06:57Bobby Lee?

  I'm not going with your mom.

• 1:06:58Andrew Santino?

  Why not?

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  She would fall over like a coconut and explode on the fucking. Coconut meat all over the place, there's no way.

• 1:07:07Andrew Santino?

  Coconut skate sesh.

• 1:07:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:10Andrew Santino?

  Coconut skate sesh.

• 1:07:11Bobby Lee?

  No, there's something, I like it because it kind of like, um. It's like when you watch a movie by yourself and something, you're like, I'm okay being by myself. I don't need anybody. I don't want to be in a situation where I'm like, I need somebody to make me feel whole. I want to be able to do it on my own. It's a little depressing, but, um. I got to get prepared because I don't have any children. So it's like, I have to be prepared that.

• 1:07:36Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna die alone?

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  At the end, you know what I mean? It's gonna be-

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  We're all gonna die alone.

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  Well, you're gonna have friends and family around.

• 1:07:42Andrew Santino?

  So will you.

• 1:07:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that Japanese man from the roller rink, maybe.

• 1:07:45Andrew Santino?

  He'll be long gone, my friend.

• 1:07:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, right, Dax, don't you think?

• 1:07:51Speaker 07

  The dying alone?

• 1:07:52Bobby Lee?

  No, but I'm just saying, um, do you feel comfortable just being by myself? Like, eating a meal by yourself?

• 1:08:00Speaker 07

  Uh, I do, but it sounds like you're, you're, you're not sure about it.

• 1:08:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, explore that.

• 1:08:07Andrew Santino?

  Would you rather be alone?

• 1:08:08Speaker 07

  Uh, a lot of the time.

• 1:08:11Andrew Santino?

  Do you long for a partner at all?

• 1:08:13Speaker 07

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:08:14Andrew Santino?

  Are you on the hunt?

• 1:08:16Speaker 07

  I did go on a hinge date last night.

• 1:08:18Andrew Santino?

  What are we talking, where'd you go?

• 1:08:20Speaker 07

  Um, to a bar.

• 1:08:21Andrew Santino?

  What bar?

• 1:08:22Speaker 07

  Bigfoot Lodge.

• 1:08:23Andrew Santino?

  What'd you order?

• 1:08:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I love Bigfoot Lodge.

• 1:08:25Speaker 07

  A beer.

• 1:08:26Andrew Santino?

  What did she order?

• 1:08:27Speaker 07

  Uh, cider.

• 1:08:28Andrew Santino?

  They, sorry, they.

• 1:08:29Speaker 07

  Uh, I think she went by she.

• 1:08:32Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:08:32Speaker 07

  Her.

• 1:08:32Andrew Santino?

  What did she order? What did she, they order? She, her, they?

• 1:08:35Speaker 07

  Uh, cider.

• 1:08:36Andrew Santino?

  A little cider?

• 1:08:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Andrew Santino?

  Give me the conversation, what was it, what was it?

• 1:08:40Speaker 07

  What kind of things do you do for fun and, uh?

• 1:08:45Andrew Santino?

  Were you intrigued?

• 1:08:46Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:47Andrew Santino?

  Was she pretty?

• 1:08:48Speaker 07

  She was pretty.

• 1:08:49Andrew Santino?

  Were you looking pretty?

• 1:08:51Speaker 07

  I don't, I don't know, yeah.

• 1:08:53Andrew Santino?

  What did you wear?

• 1:08:54Speaker 07

  A black shirt and some jeans.

• 1:08:56Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty.

• 1:08:57Speaker 07

  Thanks.

• 1:08:57Bobby Lee?

  What you always wearing, you mean?

• 1:08:58Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:08:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:00Andrew Santino?

  Did you make a move?

• 1:09:01Speaker 07

  No.

• 1:09:02Andrew Santino?

  You give her a hug?

• 1:09:02Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:09:04Bobby Lee?

  Now, do you make a move when you see a sign or what? What, you, is it a gut instinct thing with you? What is it?

• 1:09:09Speaker 07

  It's really hard, I have, yeah. Uh, first kiss is such a hard thing to know how to do.

• 1:09:14Andrew Santino?

  Do you ever ask? Do you just go, hey?

• 1:09:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:09:15Andrew Santino?

  I kinda wanna kiss you.

• 1:09:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  Have they said no?

• 1:09:18Speaker 07

  Um, no, no.

• 1:09:20Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you've never said no?

• 1:09:21Andrew Santino?

  This guy closes every fucking time.

• 1:09:22Bobby Lee?

  You're a closer, dude. You're a fucking closer.

• 1:09:24Andrew Santino?

  Say it to me, I'm a pretty girl, ask me for a kiss. I had such a fun time tonight.

• 1:09:27Speaker 07

  Do you wanna kiss?

• 1:09:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 1:09:30Bobby Lee?

  That's how direct you are?

• 1:09:31Andrew Santino?

  That was pretty fast.

• 1:09:31Speaker 07

  Oh, uh, I would, I guess so.

• 1:09:33Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I'm wet, but that was fast.

• 1:09:36Bobby Lee?

  You know, I, you know, that's interesting. I don't do that because I'm too scared.

• 1:09:39Speaker 07

  To act?

• 1:09:40Bobby Lee?

  I, I, I, I honestly believe that, like, I, I had to have a couple of signs before I go in.

• 1:09:45Andrew Santino?

  What are the signs?

• 1:09:46Bobby Lee?

  Um, I have to know, like, if they're like-

• 1:09:50Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:09:51Andrew Santino?

  Baseball sign? Yeah.

• 1:09:53Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:09:54Speaker 07

  You.

• 1:09:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, I, um, I need, they have to be touching me a lot.

• 1:09:58Andrew Santino?

  A lot of touching.

• 1:09:59Bobby Lee?

  Right, right? And then, it's just the way they look at me.

• 1:10:03Andrew Santino?

  How do they look at you? Oh, I see, that is a white girl.

• 1:10:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:08Andrew Santino?

  She is.

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And then I'm like, I think it's on.

• 1:10:11Andrew Santino?

  What's your signal to move in for a kiss?

• 1:10:13Speaker 07

  I can't, I, I can't tell, that's why.

• 1:10:15Andrew Santino?

  So you say, can I have a kiss?

• 1:10:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:17Andrew Santino?

  Or would you like a kiss? How do you phrase it?

• 1:10:19Speaker 07

  I don't remember the last, I think the last two times were they actually asked.

• 1:10:24Andrew Santino?

  What do they say?

• 1:10:26Speaker 07

  Should we kiss or something?

• 1:10:28Andrew Santino?

  Do you say yes right away, or do you go, sure?

• 1:10:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Andrew Santino?

  You say, yeah, I want to. Have you ever said the words like? Have you ever said, I love you to somebody?

• 1:10:37Speaker 07

  Yes, yes.

• 1:10:38Andrew Santino?

  You've been in love?

• 1:10:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:40Andrew Santino?

  And what happened?

• 1:10:41Speaker 07

  We broke up.

• 1:10:43Andrew Santino?

  That's what happened.

• 1:10:44Bobby Lee?

  That's not funny.

• 1:10:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, why, why do you think you broke up?

• 1:10:46Speaker 07

  Um, oh, um, well, I think she just wasn't sure what, like, needed to figure out life or something.

• 1:10:55Andrew Santino?

  She did.

• 1:10:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:57Andrew Santino?

  Cause you've got it figured out.

• 1:10:58Speaker 07

  No, I mean, uh, but I was, I didn't feel like I needed to break up.

• 1:11:02Bobby Lee?

  So you said, you said to her, I love you, and then she said, let's break up? I mean, how fast did that?

• 1:11:09Speaker 07

  Oh, uh, not in the moment.

• 1:11:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 1:11:12Speaker 07

  Uh, cause she, she had said it back before. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:17Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:11:18Speaker 07

  Like she had said, like, we had been saying it for months.

• 1:11:20Andrew Santino?

  You said it first.

• 1:11:21Speaker 07

  Me.

• 1:11:23Andrew Santino?

  Say it to me.

• 1:11:25Speaker 07

  Um, as if you're her, back then.

• 1:11:27Andrew Santino?

  Anybody.

• 1:11:29Speaker 07

  Someone I love. I love you.

• 1:11:32Andrew Santino?

  I don't believe him.

• 1:11:36Andrew Santino?

  I don't believe you.

• 1:11:37Bobby Lee?

  I don't believe you either. Do it again.

• 1:11:41Speaker 07

  You want me to do it to you?

• 1:11:42Bobby Lee?

  I'd love to. Lock me in the eyes, because don't dart your little eyes away. Look at me eyes.

• 1:11:47Speaker 07

  I love you.

• 1:11:47Andrew Santino?

  Who's she? Who's that? Wait, who's?

• 1:11:49Bobby Lee?

  I'm Chang.

• 1:11:51Andrew Santino?

  Bitch.

• 1:11:52Bobby Lee?

  Hi, I'm Chang. Get me again. Get me again, Dex.

• 1:11:57Speaker 07

  I love you.

• 1:11:59Andrew Santino?

  I believe it.

• 1:12:00Bobby Lee?

  I believe that. You like Chang better than the other one.

• 1:12:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Andrew Santino?

  You want a kiss?

• 1:12:06Bobby Lee?

  You do have an Asian fetish.

• 1:12:10Speaker 07

  What?

• 1:12:11Bobby Lee?

  You want a kiss?

• 1:12:12Speaker 07

  Oh, um, yes.

• 1:12:15Bobby Lee?

  Do you know, do you go closed mouth for her, or do you open?

• 1:12:19Andrew Santino?

  Tongue it.

• 1:12:20Speaker 07

  Closed.

• 1:12:20Andrew Santino?

  Tongue it.

• 1:12:21Bobby Lee?

  Hmm. What if she tries to dart her little tongue inside your mouth? What do you do?

• 1:12:26Speaker 07

  Then I would just probably accept that.

• 1:12:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you gotta take that.

• 1:12:30Bobby Lee?

  I feel like guys have to adapt to her and not the other way around.

• 1:12:34Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 1:12:35Bobby Lee?

  But why?

• 1:12:35Andrew Santino?

  Because we're lucky they want to do stuff with us.

• 1:12:37Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:12:37Andrew Santino?

  It's insane.

• 1:12:38Bobby Lee?

  So you instinctually know, okay, this is her style?

• 1:12:41Andrew Santino?

  Because you've seen guys. You look at what a man looks like. They don't want to do, why would they want to do anything with us? It's insane.

• 1:12:47Bobby Lee?

  No, but in terms of when you first lock lips.

• 1:12:49Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever seen you naked? You fully naked in the mirror?

• 1:12:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah, it's horrifying.

• 1:12:52Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm not saying you, I just men in general. What are you guys whispering?

• 1:12:55Bobby Lee?

  What are you whispering?

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  I called you an incel for saying that, and then he said you are a performative male.

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  It's just back of the room talk, like back of the classroom talk.

• 1:13:08Andrew Santino?

  But we can see you.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like in school. They can see, it's like.

• 1:13:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm a performative male. What does that mean, Matt McCallum?

• 1:13:17Speaker 09

  Pull it up. I mean, kind of like the old, like when you'd like, pretend to be like, uh, reading, or like crying in your car or something, pretend to be like, deep.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  You like macho?

• 1:13:26Speaker 09

  Yeah. Like, performing a thing for, so that you look mysterious.

• 1:13:30Andrew Santino?

  So he's a performative male?

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  It's like a meme now on the internet. Bobby's like, exactly that meme.

• 1:13:35Speaker 09

  Guys that try to look mysterious are like, you know, like they're.

• 1:13:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah, I'm performative. I'm performative.

• 1:13:39Speaker 09

  Just to get.

• 1:13:40Bobby Lee?

  I don't think that's a bad thing. It's, I'm performative.

• 1:13:43Speaker 09

  There are worse things.

• 1:13:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:44Andrew Santino?

  I think it is negative.

• 1:13:45Bobby Lee?

  It is a negative thing, and, um, there will be revenge.

• 1:13:50Speaker 07

  Do y'all have first kiss advice?

• 1:13:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I do. Get permission.

• 1:13:57Andrew Santino?

  And people usually say, "Start slow."

• 1:14:00Andrew Santino?

  Go as fast and hard as you can. Tongue. As much tongue. And you hold their ears. Grip their fucking ears. No, I'm not even-

• 1:14:10Bobby Lee?

  Imagine, it's honeycomb and you're a bear.

• 1:14:13Andrew Santino?

  You're a bear.

• 1:14:14Bobby Lee?

  Alright.

• 1:14:15Andrew Santino?

  And you gotta-

• 1:14:16Bobby Lee?

  See a beehive?

• 1:14:17Andrew Santino?

  Sniff them first.

• 1:14:17Bobby Lee?

  You open up a hole, you stick your fucking bear tongue in there. And you get all the honey.

• 1:14:22Andrew Santino?

  And sometimes, in the middle of the kiss, go-

• 1:14:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Like a bear like. Yeah.

• 1:14:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, be a bear ghost.

• 1:14:34Bobby Lee?

  Is that a bear, is that-

• 1:14:36Bobby Lee?

  Is that a parano?

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:14:38Bobby Lee?

  Really? Close your eyes. You're in the woods.

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:14:46Andrew Santino?

  It's a ghost of a bear.

• 1:14:46Bobby Lee?

  It's a ghost bear.

• 1:14:47Andrew Santino?

  Obviously a ghost.

• 1:14:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:49Andrew Santino?

  Kissing advice. Let's give him kissing advice at the exact same time. One, two, three. You gotta go-

• 1:14:54Bobby Lee?

  Are you gonna do a whole sentence? You gonna do a whole sentence?

• 1:14:57Andrew Santino?

  On the count of three, we give him advice at the same time. One, two-

• 1:14:59Speaker 07

  But more like-

• 1:15:00Andrew Santino?

  Whoa.

• 1:15:01Speaker 07

  More like, how to initiate it, rather than the mechanics of doing it.

• 1:15:06Andrew Santino?

  Alright, so see if you can pick it up. We're gonna do it simultaneously. See if you can pick up some notes. Ready? One, two, three.

• 1:15:10Bobby Lee?

  You gotta lock eyes with them, and then, you know what I mean, grab the back of her head, and then you just dart your face right into the face. You know what I mean? And then you open your mouth, and you dart, dart, dart, dart, dart, dart with your tongue, right? And if she goes, "Nooo," you gotta keep going.

• 1:15:28Bobby Lee?

  You keep going, keep going, keep going.

• 1:15:29Andrew Santino?

  Keep going till she's done.

• 1:15:31Speaker 07

  Okay, thank you.

• 1:15:33Andrew Santino?

  And then say, "Thank you for being a bad friend."

• 1:15:34Speaker 07

  "Thank you for being a bad friend."

• 1:15:35Andrew Santino?

  Say it louder.

• 1:15:36Speaker 07

  "Thank you for being a bad friend."

• 1:15:37Andrew Santino?

  Do it like Morgan Freeman.

• 1:15:39Speaker 07

  "Thank you for being a bad friend."

• 1:15:41Andrew Santino?

  Very good.

• 1:16:05Speaker 00

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