Dating Asian Orange

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Chime, Superpower, Mountain Dew & Quince • Chime: Join the millions who are already banking fee free with America’s #1 Choice for Banking. Head to https://chime.com/BADFRIENDS • Superpower: Head to https://Superpower.com and use code BADFRIENDS at checkout for $20 off your membership. Unlock your new health intelligence. 100+ biomarkers. Every year. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod • Mountain Dew: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com. • Quince: Go to https://quince.com/badfriends for free shipping and 365-day returns YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Mexico Wins & FIFA Wags 6:00 Bring Back Shame 11:00 Island of Beautiful Women 12:00 Stinky Cheese 18:00 The TFL Movement 24:00 Dating Asian Orange 30:00 Objectively Handsome 37:00 Perfect Poo & Purple Potatoes 44:15 Carry-On Canned Sardines 49:00 Will Ferrell & 'The Hawk' 53:30 Never Trust a Hugo 1:00:00 Stealing the Engine 1:05:00 Poop in the Driveway More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00SCRIBE_speaker_0

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• 0:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hey, guys, I'm on tour Australia style. Shrimp on Barbie. Uh, August 14th in Melbourne at the MCEC is... I'm gonna be playing. Great venue. August 20th in Sydney at the Darling Harbour Theatre. August 22nd in Brisbane at the BCEC. And at... August 23rd in Auckland, New Zealand at the Bruce Mason Centre. Tickets at bobbylee.live. Hey, buddy.

• 0:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hey.

• 0:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We got new shirts.

• 0:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We got the shirts, baby.

• 0:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And go to badfriendsmerch.com.

• 1:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Badfriendsmerch.com. You're gonna get yourself this in black or red.

• 1:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Red.

• 1:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Black or red. Go see us at badfriendsmerch.com. Go grab yourself a shirt.

• 1:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You two are bad friends.

• 1:10SCRIBE_speaker_0

  Who are these two idiots?

• 1:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

• 1:17SCRIBE_speaker_0

  Well, you two are something.

• 1:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We're bad friends.

• 1:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know, I gotta tell you something, I've been watching more soccer than ever now.

• 1:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good.

• 1:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's blown my mind how much soccer I'm watching.

• 1:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What's blowing your mind about it?

• 1:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That I'm interested in it.

• 1:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, it's very interesting.

• 1:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Only when it's on TV.

• 1:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you can't see clips?

• 1:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I watch the game, but I don't wanna engage in all the nuance.

• 1:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I was at the Wi Spa last night, I saw the Mexico game.

• 1:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I watched the Mexico game from the hotel.

• 1:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And there's a lot of Mexican people that work at Wi Spa that went .

• 1:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I go, "Pick up the towel."

• 1:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pick up the towel.

• 1:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like what are we doing here? You know?

• 1:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How do you say ape in Spanish? How do you say ape? Mono, but it's not that. Mono. Mono.

• 1:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mierda de mono.

• 1:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mierda de mono.

• 2:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They went mierda de mono.

• 2:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They went mierda de mono. Mierda de mono. Pa-pa-da-ma, pa-pa-pa-da-ma, pa-pa-pa-da-ma, pa-pa-pa-da-ma, mierda de mono.

• 2:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mierda de mono. Pa-pa-da-ba, pa-pa-pa-da-ba.

• 2:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm late. I was late on that.

• 2:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You were late.

• 2:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm literally looking at the towels at Wi Spa, none of them are done.

• 2:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  All right.

• 2:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I... No, I'm... No, let's g- let's get this off my chest, right?

• 2:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right. Have a

• 2:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And all the... Everyone is watching the game.

• 2:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, they're watching the game.

• 2:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. Do the towels first.

• 2:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, they can't do the towels. Look at those guys. They were losing their mind. I watched the news. I was in northern California and they were talking about riots in, in, in LA, in North Hollywood.

• 2:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I loved it. They were doing donuts, they were breaking stuff. Every time there's a Mexico game you can, you can tell.

• 2:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can tell there's a Mexico-

• 2:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 2:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at that guy. He's got Agent Orange on his face. Whatever. I don't know what that is, but that's how they celebrate.

• 2:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's just asbestos.

• 2:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What is that?

• 2:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He just came from work.

• 2:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 2:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's... That was in North Hollywood.

• 2:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 2:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That... Was that like Van Nuys they said?

• 2:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's insane.

• 2:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pacoima, yeah. Pacoim-

• 2:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 2:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is it Pacoima? Yeah.

• 2:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But you know who they play next?

• 3:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who?

• 3:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mexico.

• 3:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who do they play?

• 3:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Sunday, England.

• 3:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, yeah. Oh, it's over.

• 3:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let's see what happens.

• 3:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's over then, huh?

• 3:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let's just see what happens.

• 3:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Although this pod will already be out by the time this happens, so wow, wow, what a game.

• 3:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What a wonderful game.

• 3:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was cool.

• 3:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mexico won.

• 3:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was cool to see Messi. I'll s- I'll say that. That was cool to see.

• 3:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I know.

• 3:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Greatest to ever touch a soccer ball.

• 3:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's 40.

• 3:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And he's still fucking it up.

• 3:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know. He's great, he's great, he's great, he's great. He's one of the greatest of all time.

• 3:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, he's the greatest.

• 3:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. It goes Messi, Maradona, I know them all.

• 3:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's the best.

• 3:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 3:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's without... Every soccer player ever has said he's the greatest.

• 3:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, he is. You have Zinedine Zidane. You got-

• 3:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Zinedine Zidane.

• 3:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. You got, you got all those guys. But my point though is he is... But he is 40, okay?

• 3:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can you imagine me on a soccer field? That's crazy to play with... He's playing with 19-year-olds.

• 3:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know.

• 3:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And he's cooking them.

• 3:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, he's cooking them.

• 3:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  At 40 years old.

• 3:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 3:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How does he do this?

• 3:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's just born that way.

• 3:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love when they, they j- they cut to his wife, they go, "Mi- and Miss Messi loves it as well." She's bouncing up and down, having the time of her life.

• 3:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 3:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I will say this about his wife.

• 4:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 4:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And I mean this.

• 4:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Beautiful.

• 4:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Very unattractive.

• 4:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, no.

• 4:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, she's so-

• 4:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  She's so beautiful

• 4:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... gorgeous, dude. She-

• 4:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They're... You know what they're called?

• 4:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The hottest couple in the world?

• 4:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, they're called WAGs.

• 4:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wives and girlfriends. Yeah, yeah, the wives and girlfriends.

• 4:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you, you know?

• 4:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. WAGs are in all sports.

• 4:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That was only... I thought that was only soccer.

• 4:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Look at, look at his-

• 4:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There's WAGs in basketball?

• 4:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Baseball. Baseball too.

• 4:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, really?

• 4:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Look at his body.

• 4:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 4:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Gee.

• 4:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at that body.

• 4:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jimene Christmas.

• 4:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimene, yeah. His legs, they don't really show his legs.

• 4:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can you imagine the sex that they get to have?

• 4:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, uh, I c-

• 4:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How fun

• 4:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I've never imagined that.

• 4:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ugh, how f-

• 4:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Tell me how fa- uh, good is it.

• 4:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'd love to j-

• 4:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 4:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'd love to cuck that.

• 4:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. How big is his balls? Like a soccer ball?

• 4:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I guarantee he has tiny little balls.

• 4:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 4:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, because when you're running a lot your balls gotta get-

• 4:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I w- if I was him I would make my balls look like soccer balls.

• 4:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pa- paint your nuts.

• 4:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Get tattoos.

• 4:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, paint your nuts.

• 4:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Argentina one, and the other one, uh, Miami.

• 4:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 4:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, FC. Miami FC.

• 4:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  On each ball.

• 4:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. You know what I love about it too is, is that, you know, Korea's out.

• 4:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Korea's way out.

• 5:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And when they landed in Seoul, did you see the airport, right? People were there going, "You're a loser." "You're a disgrace."

• 5:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's great.

• 5:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, they fucking shame... People were screaming, you know what I mean?

• 5:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow.

• 5:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 5:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They're met with insults and-

• 5:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Insults and-

• 5:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And harassment

• 5:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... harassment.

• 5:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow, that's so sad.

• 5:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  L- look, wait, wait, just pause.

• 5:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It motivates you for next time.

• 5:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They... That's, that's the coach's nose. Do you know why his nose is that long?

• 5:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is, is he a liar?

• 5:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's a liar.

• 5:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's a liar.

• 5:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 5:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What did he lie about?

• 5:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  L-

• 5:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I gotta tell you something.

• 5:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What?

• 5:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This, this is awful.

• 5:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I think it's good.

• 5:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  These guys, they worked so hard.

• 5:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It doesn't matter. I-

• 5:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "World Cup was ruined because of you," one, one person just said.

• 5:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I know.

• 5:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The World Cup was ruined.

• 5:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ruined. And it was ruined.

• 5:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, it was-

• 5:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was ruined for Koreans.

• 5:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Nobody thought the Koreans were gonna go far.

• 6:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do we have m- Son? Right? We have one guy-

• 6:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One guy

• 6:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... from the Wolverhampton Wa- Wanderers. Socceroos. Forget his name.

• 6:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Lookit, they won't even show his face.

• 6:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They won't even show the face. It's- For Koreans, it's a disgrace. All, all right? And what I'm gonna say as a Korean, we do good f- f- film.

• 6:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Good film.

• 6:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good food.

• 6:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Good food.

• 6:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? Samsung, Hyundai, right? Get to the fucking knockout stages. That's all we ask.

• 6:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You didn't do it.

• 6:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, if you, if you lost against Argentina, if you lost against France-

• 6:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Fine

• 6:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... fine.

• 6:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Fine.

• 6:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right?

• 6:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's right.

• 6:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But who do they... They lost against Mexico.

• 6:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, Mexico's good, though.

• 6:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know, but it was the goalkeeper's fault. The coach hired him.

• 6:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, so it's the coach's fault.

• 6:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what my point is is that I think there isn't enough shaming going on.

• 6:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  More shame.

• 6:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I think more shame.

• 6:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  More shame.

• 6:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I mean? And let me tell you something.

• 6:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hmm.

• 6:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think that if the USA lose-

• 6:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Shame

• 6:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... no, they don't get to go to a Cracker Barrel.

• 6:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ever again?

• 6:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  For five years.

• 6:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh my God.

• 6:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a long time.

• 6:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There should be consequences.

• 6:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  There must-

• 6:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Costco, Cracker Barrel. What else? Walmart. You're not allowed to go in. Those are American things.

• 7:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No more AM PM.

• 7:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No more AM PM, no more that, right?

• 7:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Rookies, all the... Yeah.

• 7:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You get shamed.

• 7:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Shame.

• 7:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pulisic.

• 7:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, I think it's right for certain cultures. Koreans-

• 7:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 7:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes.

• 7:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 7:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sure.

• 7:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You have to shame.

• 7:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But Americans here, uh, you know, soccer isn't our thing. If it was a world football f- uh, American football thing-

• 7:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 7:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... yes, I'd be... I think we should shame them.

• 7:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A- and Germany lost.

• 7:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know what's going on with them.

• 7:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 7:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right on back to-

• 7:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And when Germany goes back to fucking... You know I mean?

• 7:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You-

• 7:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Germany-

• 7:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh

• 7:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... they should go to Auschwitz.

• 7:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, they... Hit the trains.

• 7:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You betrayed your people. They should go to Auschwitz.

• 7:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They have to.

• 7:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, like at least a year. Right? Okay, not death, right? But, like, you know what I mean?

• 7:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hang out there.

• 7:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right. You lost to what? Paraguay? Yeah. Who'd they lose to? Paraguay, right? Here's another... Netherlands lost.

• 7:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Netherlands did lose.

• 7:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Who did they lose against?

• 7:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  An, a, a-

• 7:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh ... Morocco. Morocco. Morocco. That was a good game. Where do the Netherlands go?

• 8:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Were they not allowed to go-

• 8:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, when they go back to the Netherlands, the shaming ritual, what should it be?

• 8:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well-

• 8:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No brothels for a year.

• 8:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I was gonna say for them it'd be be around- being around any minority whatsoever.

• 8:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 8:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause the Netherlands is, like, all white. They don't let anybody in.

• 8:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I think shaming is lost in the World Cup.

• 8:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We need more shame.

• 8:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think we ne- need more shame.

• 8:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 8:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You have... S- 'cause if Korea b- K- if Korea knew that if they were gonna f- fly back to Seoul, right, and get attacked like that, I think they would've won.

• 8:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, maybe. It would've helped.

• 8:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think maybe.

• 8:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It would've helped.

• 8:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It would've helped. They would have run a little more. They would've ran a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there needs to be more shaming in the World Cup.

• 8:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I agree. Now you got me on your team. I think-

• 8:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do I really?

• 8:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think high shame.

• 8:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  High shame.

• 8:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If you're fucking Russian, right, you lose, you're going to Gulag.

• 8:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Let me tell you something.

• 8:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If Russia... Yeah.

• 8:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They, I don't think they're in it.

• 8:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They, they will get killed. I think they do get murdered.

• 8:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm not even kidding.

• 8:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 8:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think they actually do the... I think-

• 8:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Because I'll tell you what, I... And this is the truth, okay? When North Korea lost to 8-1, I think it was against Portugal. Oh, yeah.

• 9:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hmm.

• 9:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They said- Do you remember that? And they said they won. They said they won.

• 9:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 9:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But every player and the coach went into manual labor after that for a year. They had to move rocks.

• 9:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Probably-

• 9:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They went to a mining, they went to a mining facility. Saddam Hussein did it with Iraq. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the- I think that's, those are... I think that's fair.

• 9:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So what did he do? He, he suffered brutal treatment of poor performances. His son, Uday Hussein, who headed the Iraqi Olympic Committee, reportedly tortured, imprisoned, and beat national soccer players and coaches following embarrassing losses or failure to qualify for major tournaments.

• 9:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We gotta bring that back.

• 9:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We gotta go back. Uday Hussein.

• 9:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 9:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uday Hussein.

• 9:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uday, yeah, yeah. What do you think?

• 9:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Handsome guy.

• 9:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. So if the USA loses, what do you think?

• 9:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I think we do need to shame and beat them.

• 9:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Yeah, not beat them.

• 9:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 9:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We don't do that in this country.

• 9:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why not?

• 9:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, we don't. What? That's right.

• 9:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why not?

• 9:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Why not?

• 9:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why not?

• 9:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know, Guantanamo Bay.

• 9:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Get down there.

• 9:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, you gotta get down there, right? 'Cause people have been imprisoned for less.

• 10:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  For way less.

• 10:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. You are representing your country. Best country in the world. You're, you're representing your country. Millions of people rely.

• 10:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They need this.

• 10:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right, they need it, dude. In this economy... What's that?

• 10:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a soccer player who didn't do well.

• 10:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, he didn't do well. Yeah, yeah. Last World Cup, yeah. He's like, "I was on the bench. I didn't play one millisecond." Doesn't matter.

• 10:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Doesn't matter.

• 10:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're going to fucking Guantanamo Bay. You're-

• 10:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How many soccer players-

• 10:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at that. That, that should... That's right now the South Korean soccer team.

• 10:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And they have to sit like that all day.

• 10:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They sit like that, and I gues- gue- guess what? When you do that, the next World Cup, they get to the fucking final-

• 10:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So do they have to sit like that for four years until the next World Cup?

• 10:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They'll get a new crop of players.

• 10:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ah.

• 10:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But you, what you do is you get the new crop of players, and you show them what happened to the old crop of players. Motivation.

• 10:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, as-

• 10:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ra- Ra- Eghassi. Look at this Gulag

• 10:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... propaganda.

• 10:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do you remember him? He was the forward for, you know what I mean, our team.

• 10:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One of the best in the world.

• 10:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  In the best in the world, right?

• 10:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Now he's a rock star.

• 10:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  This is what happens to you.

• 10:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I did watch, I'm catching up on, um, Margot Has Money Problems.

• 11:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh.

• 11:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Elle Fanning show.

• 11:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good?

• 11:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, it's... No, it's not good, it's am- amazing. I think it's incredible. It's well done. She is such a good actress. Nick Offerman is phenomenal.

• 11:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hmm.

• 11:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And the Fife dog.

• 11:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hmm.

• 11:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a great show, dude. But I will say Elle Fanning carries this show in a way where I'm like, every time she's on camera, I'm like, "Oh, she's the best." She's so good. Her... She delivers the lines. You believe every second of her character.

• 11:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I found her to be extremely beautiful.

• 11:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She is.

• 11:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know, but, like, extra.

• 11:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's so good in the show.

• 11:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, if I was on an island, right, and there was 10 women, of the hottest women, right, and she was one of them. And they said, "Y- you have to..." I don't know why I'm making this up, but, like- 'Cause you're on an island ... right? It's probably... You guys probably share the fantasy. Not an island, a peninsula.

• 11:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Even better.

• 11:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that, is that better?

• 11:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sure.

• 11:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We're on a peninsula.

• 11:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  On a key. You're on a key.

• 11:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  In a key. That's good. Okay, good. Peninsula, yeah. A key. Is that fine? Key, yes. Yeah, I'm in a key.

• 12:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A key.

• 12:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A, a key, right? A key.

• 12:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A key.

• 12:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? I think I would choose her over the nine other beautiful women.

• 12:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow.

• 12:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 12:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who are the other nine?

• 12:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know, just think of the most nine most beautiful women in the world.

• 12:15SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Done.

• 12:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- yeah, Margot Robbie.

• 12:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Over her.

• 12:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Over her.

• 12:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Gal Gadot.

• 12:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Over. N- not, not because of the look.

• 12:28SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You know I set, I set it up.

• 12:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, you set it up.

• 12:30SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Set it right up for you.

• 12:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you and a key?

• 12:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Me and a key?

• 12:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're not, you're not with your wife anymore.

• 12:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And I'm on a key with 11-

• 12:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  She sadly passed away

• 12:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... nine beau- did you kill her?

• 12:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Eh, no.

• 12:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Nine beautiful women?

• 12:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  10 beautiful women.

• 12:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  10 beautiful women.

• 12:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who am I picking?

• 12:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, who you picking?

• 12:45SCRIBE_speaker_3

  This is how Facebook got started.

• 12:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Kind of set up something.

• 12:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Kind of. I think this is kind of how Facebook started.

• 12:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hot or Not, right.

• 12:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, can I be honest with the group? I just... And I don't want anyone to go, "No, you're wrong." I, I think I'm in an honesty, I'm in an honesty phase with myself.

• 13:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I know, the gold rings are doing something for you.

• 13:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right. So I'm, I'm in an honesty phase from, to myself. Let's just be truthful for once.

• 13:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 13:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay?

• 13:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 13:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm ugly.

• 13:17SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No, you're not.

• 13:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. No, see, see, see that... See, no. I'm ugly.

• 13:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Okay.

• 13:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay? By every metric

• 13:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  of handsome, I do not hit.

• 13:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm. No, that's not true.

• 13:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, that... 100%.

• 13:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You-

• 13:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jawline

• 13:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... you, you have no jawline.

• 13:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, exactly, right? Height.

• 13:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're very tiny.

• 13:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, okay. In every metric. And then people go, "Oh, no, but you're cute." Yeah, labubus are cute.

• 13:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They are.

• 13:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You wouldn't fuck them. Or you wouldn't fuck a labubu.

• 13:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, but how about this?

• 13:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Obviously you're incorrect because you have a girlfriend who's very pretty-

• 13:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's clout-

• 13:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and she thinks you-

• 13:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's clout, fame. That's it.

• 13:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You think if you had none of those things-

• 13:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Nope

• 13:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... she would never be with you?

• 14:00SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Hell no.

• 14:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He- hell no. And, like, why can't I be... Right? Yeah. No, no, flags. No, no. Flag.

• 14:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Red.

• 14:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Why can't people just be honest with themselves?

• 14:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't think you're ugly.

• 14:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I am ugly.

• 14:15SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You're like an artist, though. You're like a stinky cheese. People still like that.

• 14:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ah, blue-

• 14:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You are blue cheese.

• 14:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's worse. All right.

• 14:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're blue, you're blue cheese.

• 14:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm blue cheese.

• 14:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not everyone's gonna get, get-

• 14:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Gorgonzola. I'm gorgonzola. But what my point though being is, why can't we be honest with them- ourselves?

• 14:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You-

• 14:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right?

• 14:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I, I think you're, I think you're-

• 14:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I, I... Listen, okay? I'm ugly.

• 14:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're not ugly.

• 14:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And I'm fine with it, okay? I have other attributes, right?

• 14:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 14:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But in the marketplace, if I wasn't who I am, okay?

• 14:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't like this.

• 14:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I, I, I, I know you don't like it. I'm fine with it.

• 14:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why? Why are you saying this?

• 14:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Because it's the truth.

• 14:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Did you look in the mirror and have, like, something happen?

• 14:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I was staring at myself in the mirror-

• 14:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 14:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... at the spa.

• 15:00SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You finally cleaned them.

• 15:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 15:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're a meanie weenie today.

• 15:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, me so mean t- all right. And I looked at myself and I objectively said, "Yeah, I'm pretty ugly."

• 15:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 15:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, then give me, give me the counter.

• 15:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um, you are in great-

• 15:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm talking about physically

• 15:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... you're in great shape for a man of your age. Most men in your age range are not in your shape.

• 15:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's true.

• 15:28SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You look good.

• 15:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Average weight of a 54-year-old who's five foot three.

• 15:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You have to say man, too.

• 15:33SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Korean.

• 15:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Korean.

• 15:35SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Korean.

• 15:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Say Korean.

• 15:36SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Male.

• 15:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  All right. An average weight of a 54-year-old Korean, m- 53-year-old, 54-year-old Korean man.

• 15:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 15:43SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I think-

• 15:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is 112 to 136 pounds

• 15:46SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... you're like double it.

• 15:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I weigh 155.

• 15:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hmm.

• 15:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So I'm fat.

• 15:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're not fat.

• 15:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, it-

• 15:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm fatter than the average.

• 15:57SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, I don't believe that.

• 15:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, well, it's g- we... You're gonna refute AI?

• 16:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No.

• 16:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm not saying this in a negative way. I have high self-esteem.

• 16:06SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It's not from AI, it's from the Trong Ton Teo Dong Cardiff Center.

• 16:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, true. Yeah.

• 16:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. And that's the best fucking center for that.

• 16:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It is.

• 16:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Trong Cardiff is, is the best for that, okay?

• 16:16SCRIBE_speaker_3

  They know.

• 16:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at, look at the statistics here. I, I can't read that map at all.

• 16:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Map.

• 16:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, or that, whatever that is, right? But let's just be honest with ourselves, okay? I'm ugly.

• 16:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're not ugly.

• 16:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. Well, give me... You haven't given me any other fucking... Give me, give, give it to me.

• 16:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  From a physical standpoint?

• 16:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, it-

• 16:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You have nice eyes, you got great hair.

• 16:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If I wa- if I... Let's, let's, listen.

• 16:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, and, and-

• 16:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. I'm 55 years old, I'm working at Chipotle, but not even in the front counter.

• 16:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're cooking.

• 16:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I'm in the back washing dishes.

• 16:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, wow, okay.

• 16:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay? I'm making $12.50 an hour.

• 16:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, nothing wrong with that.

• 16:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right. You know what I mean? I have to... I have no vehicle.

• 16:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay? I have to walk five miles home.

• 17:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Were you in prison for a long time?

• 17:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Yeah.

• 17:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why are you in this position at 55?

• 17:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If I was in this position, right, there would be no aspects-

• 17:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I d- disagree. Someone would, someone would find you very attractive. By the way, there are, there's a woman that works at that same Chipotle, Cheryl, who's half Asian, you know? She just came to this country, right?

• 17:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 17:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She just got a job there. She works at the front, and she goes, "You know who I think is really-"

• 17:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  She's 3'11" and she has a flat nose.

• 17:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So-

• 17:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And she says to her coworker-

• 17:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I'm talking about-

• 17:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She says to her coworker, "You know who I find hot?

• 17:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "The guy in the back. He's funny and sweet and cool."

• 17:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can I, can, can, can I, can I propose something else to you?

• 17:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think it's not just fame.

• 17:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can I just propose something, something else to you, okay?

• 17:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What?

• 17:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Have I dated, over the years, beautiful women?

• 17:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Of course.

• 17:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 17:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But even before you were famous.

• 17:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. Trang Trang, you know what I mean? Who works at the, you know what I mean?

• 17:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 17:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Chipotle, right? Trang Trang, right?

• 17:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, Trang Trang.

• 17:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  She's 3'11", right? One eye missing.

• 17:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? She has fucking bullet hole wounds, right?

• 18:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Got shot.

• 18:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. A titty blown off.

• 18:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  She's like, "Ah."

• 18:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I mean? There's problems.

• 18:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  There's problems.

• 18:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna be able to get, you know what I mean, the access to women that I find attractive.

• 18:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You, you dated hot women before you got famous.

• 18:12SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No way.

• 18:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I was in the ch- Y- yeah, I did.

• 18:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, you did.

• 18:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, but I was in the trajectory of fame.

• 18:17SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No, trajectory-

• 18:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, when you were in high school.

• 18:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, nothing. Zero, nothing. And I, I, I, I, I-

• 18:21SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Well, you sucked those guys' dicks.

• 18:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 18:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Were they hot?

• 18:28SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Probably, a little.

• 18:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I think that I was the founder of the TFL movement. I'm one of the founders. You don't have to Google it, I'll tell you what it is. Okay?

• 18:39SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No, I'll look it up too.

• 18:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Look it up. It's... You're not gonna find it.

• 18:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Temple Fork Outfitters?

• 18:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no, no, no. See, that's what I'm saying. All right?

• 18:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What's a TFO movement?

• 18:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, not, I didn't say TFO.

• 18:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  TFL?

• 18:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  TFL.

• 18:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What's a TFL movement?

• 18:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, see if you can find it.

• 18:57SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Transport for London?

• 18:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, yeah.

• 18:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no, no. Total fucking loser.

• 19:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, cut it out.

• 19:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm... Yes.

• 19:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Where does-

• 19:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes

• 19:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... this come from? Where is this coming from?

• 19:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's coming from reality.

• 19:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't like it.

• 19:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That... Well, you being, may or may not like the truth.

• 19:12SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mm.

• 19:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right? But here it is. Okay?

• 19:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You don't, you don't know the truth.

• 19:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I know you-

• 19:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can't handle the truth. Is that the line?

• 19:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 19:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can't handle the truth. Sorry, I fucked up that line, all right?

• 19:23SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Close is.

• 19:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The truth is, is that I was a co-funder, founder of the TFL movement.

• 19:29SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Trend funder.

• 19:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right? And because I've had success, it doesn't immediately take you out of the TFL movement. You, once you're a part of the movement-

• 19:37SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mm

• 19:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you're always a member.

• 19:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You can never graduate.

• 19:39SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Who did you co-found-

• 19:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can never graduate. What?

• 19:41SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, who's the other founder?

• 19:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who'd you co-found it with?

• 19:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What?

• 19:42SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You said you're a co-founder. Who else did you found it with?

• 19:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know who the f- other founder 'cause I, I, we, at back then-

• 19:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We can't look at each other.

• 19:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Also, back then, there was no internet.

• 19:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ah.

• 19:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, so we didn't know who the other founders are, right?

• 19:58SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Right.

• 19:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But through the internet, I have found the other founders.

• 20:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, you slowly found your, your-

• 20:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. So when I look at certain internet videos, I go... Yeah, can I send you one?

• 20:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 20:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 20:09SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Internet video? Sure.

• 20:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. A TikTok video.

• 20:11SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 20:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And I re- I realized this through this man.

• 20:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Through one man on TikTok.

• 20:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, one man on TikTok, and I will show you. Oh, sorry. My bad. Uh, "Your un- network is unstable," it says. Okay.

• 20:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It sounds like everything is.

• 20:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, here we go. I will send it to you right now. Uh, hold on.

• 20:28SCRIBE_speaker_3

  See?

• 20:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look. I'm gonna send this to Carlos Herrera.

• 20:31SCRIBE_speaker_3

  So I can-

• 20:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And I'm gonna tell you who else is in this group- ... the TFL movement h- too.

• 20:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 20:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Carlos.

• 20:38SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I was gonna say that's why we're close.

• 20:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 20:42SCRIBE_speaker_0

  Chime.

• 20:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank. You know? They're not like traditional old banks who charge fees and gatekeep perks and rewards. And I'm telling you, dude, when I first moved out to LA, I had no, no money. I had bad credit.

• 20:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I wish I had Chime back then.

• 20:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, I needed help like Chime.

• 20:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 20:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Because you get 5% cash back on Chime card in a category of your choice like gas or groceries. Pretty incredible. All while you're building your credit through regular everyday spending with no credit check. And, uh, you can grow your money faster with savings rate that's nine times the national average. And I'm telling you, dude, if we had Chime back in the day, it would've been so much easier to help save money. You know, while you're out spending, 'cause life is expensive, it's nice that Chime has fee-free banking so you're not getting caught off guard by these hidden things and fees like most other new banks do to you.

• 21:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking.

• 21:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And if you're ever in a pinch, Spot Me lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. You know how many times I used to overdraft all the time and get hit with-

• 21:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh my God, I still do

• 21:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... so many fees.

• 21:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 21:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You can head to chime.com/badfriends. That's chime.com/badfriends.

• 21:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Badfriends.

• 21:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 21:54SCRIBE_speaker_0

  SuperPower.

• 21:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh my God, I love getting my blood test by SuperPower.

• 21:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it was good, man.

• 21:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, it's 'cause, 'cause I'm-

• 21:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Did a great job

• 21:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you know, as you get older, you wanna know what your health-

• 22:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, here's the problem. We're old, and we're probably older than most of our audience, but I'm telling you, it is gonna creep up on you. And it's one simple blood draw that gives you information on over 100 of your blood biomarkers, which is, uh, way more than we usually get. When you go to a normal doctor visit, I, I've gotten my blood drawn for a physical, uh, here and for a... And they don't do anything, right? They don't deep dive into what's really going on.

• 22:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 22:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What's the underlying causes, various symptoms you might be experiencing. They have all this stuff, man.

• 22:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The s-

• 22:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dial it in

• 22:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... the SuperPower app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid, hormones, metabolism, vitamin and mineral levels, and even environmental toxins. So from disease prevention to treating that annoying brain fog or simply optimizing your gym game, SuperPower is the most comprehensive and advanced system out there.

• 22:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  My favorite part about it, man, when we did this, it was so great, it just showed me stuff. 'Cause I thought, like, "Oh, maybe, um, maybe I've lo- this level is low or that level's low," and you're just guessing.

• 22:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 22:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're looking up on the internet. But SuperPower gives you access to that, and I was low vitamin B12. Needed more of that. So thank you to them. Make this year the year you stop guessing about your health with SuperPower. For a limited time, our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence.

• 23:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Head over to superpower.com and use code BADFRIENDS for $20 off your 199 SuperPower membership.

• 23:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  After you sign up, they're gonna ask you how you heard about SuperPower. Tell them Bad Friends sent you and support our show.

• 23:18SCRIBE_speaker_0

  At Zocdoc, we know you care about your health. You wouldn't do that early morning cardio if you didn't. So the fact that your annual physical is overdue just shows how hard it can be to get seen by a doctor. Sorry, that doctor's not in-network. Press one for more options. You've reached us outside normal business hours. The next availability is in three months. But Zocdoc makes finding the right doctor easy. Download the app and search by specialty, insurance, and availability. Read real patient reviews, then book instantly. Zocdoc. Ready to be seen?

• 23:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think this age of personal empowerment, self-improvement-

• 23:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, you don't like it

• 23:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... manifestation, you ignore the truth.

• 23:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 23:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? And the truth is this, okay? Is I'm a fucking loser.

• 24:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I disagree.

• 24:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. And, and, and you know what? I'm fine by it.

• 24:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You mean physically. Because you're a success-

• 24:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm talking physically

• 24:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... you're a success-

• 24:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Internally

• 24:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... in every other metric of your life.

• 24:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I-

• 24:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Friends, community, job-

• 24:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The-

• 24:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... career

• 24:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... and I, I'll tell you why.

• 24:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Huge success.

• 24:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll tell you why. It's all shame.

• 24:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Shame-based. And because of shame-

• 24:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Because of shame-

• 24:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right

• 24:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... right, I can endure so much shame-

• 24:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right

• 24:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... right, that I've gotten to the status that I've gotten to.

• 24:29SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Maybe you should coach the, the, the Korean, uh-

• 24:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I'm gonna coach the Korean team.

• 24:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You would be good.

• 24:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I think I would be good. I think that's a good callback. Korea, if you're listening, right, I'm coaching the next team.

• 24:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Rename the team the TFL.

• 24:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Because we'll never win a game. We'll never win a game. Yeah. Right?

• 24:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a good thing.

• 24:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm gonna t- put every position in their opposite position. Oh.

• 24:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 24:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're a center forward, you're goal keeping. All right, you're a right wing, you're a left back. All right, every position's gonna be wrong, right? I'm gonna, I'm gonna put women in it.

• 25:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 25:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Anyway, I don't know if this is funny what I'm saying.

• 25:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It is, but it's sad because I don't buy into this-

• 25:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you might not buy into it. It's just what I'm feeling as of late.

• 25:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So there's a beautiful woman in your life who is your girlfriend, and you tell me, so her, her attraction to you is invalid? She's wrong?

• 25:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think there are exceptions to every rule.

• 25:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, there's no rule being broken.

• 25:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, there is.

• 25:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What is... Don't date ugly Asian men?

• 25:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no. I think that, um, let's just be honest then-

• 25:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay

• 25:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... if you want, right?

• 25:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sure. Uh, yeah.

• 25:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Every g- woman I dated, right, their dad was in Vietnam. Had PTSD.

• 25:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 25:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? Took that rage, you know?

• 25:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 25:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? Threw it onto the daughter, right? And she's like, "I don't wanna date a..." You know what I mean? "... PTSD white man."

• 25:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 25:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? So they go to the g- Asian, right, and goes, you know what I mean, "I'm rebelling." Mm.

• 26:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're like a, uh-

• 26:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  "Hey, Daddy, look who I'm dating," right? They get all PTSD'd out, you know? Right? Right? They s- they smell Agent Orange, you know what I mean? They smell like, you know.

• 26:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's Agent Orange.

• 26:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Whatever. Agent Orange, whatever.

• 26:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 26:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I mean?

• 26:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm, I'm Agent Orange.

• 26:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They hear bullets, explosions, right? When they go, "Here, Daddy, look," right?

• 26:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 26:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They get back into that.

• 26:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So it's-

• 26:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? Here's another thing

• 26:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... flash- flashbacks

• 26:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... right. The white women that I've dated, right, had a dream of getting out of white.

• 26:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They wanna get away from white.

• 26:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right. So they grew up in the Midwest, all they saw was white people, and every once in a while, they'll go, "You know what? I'm tired of white people."

• 26:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 26:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? "I'm gonna go with the opposite." Mm. Okay? Wow. But there's no other exceptions outside of those two.

• 26:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But most of time, it goes to Black culture. You're, you're interesting. You're... There, that's a real left turn.

• 26:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yep.

• 26:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're the farthest left turn. I say far-

• 26:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, east turn

• 26:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... east, far east.

• 26:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I'm the fa- I- I'm the farthest east that you can turn.

• 26:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So a far right turn.

• 26:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 27:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Far right.

• 27:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Far right.

• 27:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And you are far right.

• 27:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I'm liberally, I'm liberally.

• 27:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're...

• 27:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, I'm lib- politically, I'm liberal. Mm-hmm. Okay?

• 27:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Far right.

• 27:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But yeah, so, um, I know people don't wanna hear this because I feel good about myself.

• 27:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So your, your positioning, your position is, is you're okay with telling yourself that you're ugly.

• 27:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's being objective.

• 27:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And more of us should tell ourselves that we're ugly.

• 27:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think that people should just be honest with themselves.

• 27:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How- about their looks.

• 27:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  'Cause you see a lot of mid... I'm sorry, I'm gonna say something maybe controversial.

• 27:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 27:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? But you see a lot of TikTok. I see a lot of TikTok, maybe too much.

• 27:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 27:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Okay? Maybe too much, all right? I see a lot of mid women going, "Yeah, I need a guy that makes 3 million a year, who's six foot two." It's like, no, you're ugly. And you should be dating men that are ugly.

• 27:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 27:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? And I, and I'm saying that I wanna be honest with myself.

• 27:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 27:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? And I go, "I got lucky. I took some risks."

• 28:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 28:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? But objectively, I'm not... If you look up handsome, what the... Let's see if I hit any of the lists.

• 28:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What does it mean to be handsome is subjective, though.

• 28:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, it's not.

• 28:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  There's no objectivity to handsome.

• 28:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, objectively handsome. No, not A- Asian actors, just say what is the t- objectively-

• 28:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay

• 28:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... objectively handsome.

• 28:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What, what does it mean to be objectively handsome?

• 28:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 28:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  In America today. Handsome describes a man with classic dignified aesthetic appeal, often characterized by strong facial symmetry and proportion. Unlike hot-

• 28:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, stop there. Stop there. I don't hit those.

• 28:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're pretty symmetrical.

• 28:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, i- in a mythological way.

• 28:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's right.

• 28:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. This, this is for humans.

• 28:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, okay.

• 28:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is for humans. You have a very classic appeal. Yeah, yeah. I don't live in like a Totoro fucking, you know what I mean, forest.

• 28:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 28:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know.

• 28:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But you could.

• 28:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. And I will. And I will. So go, keep going. Uh-

• 29:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Unlike hot, which focuses on overt sex appeal, or cute, which leans towards a youthful or smaller features, which you've been called, handsome implies a refined, more permanent sense of good look.

• 29:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Exactly. Let's go. Um-

• 29:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Authenticity and grooming, you have that. You're very authentic and you're very well-groomed. You always smell good. The total package. You are a part of the total package. Emotional in-

• 29:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, extend... Yeah, no, this is bullshit.

• 29:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, I don't think so.

• 29:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no.

• 29:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is AI wrong? You're gonna say AI's a lie?

• 29:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If you're looking for defined aesthetic standards- In our era ... it's, it, it's... Dude, are we out of your mind? 'Cause I smell good, I'm fucking hot?

• 29:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You do smell good.

• 29:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know, but that's not... W- I've, I've s-

• 29:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I've been tricked by a smell before, buddy.

• 29:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Women like funny first. That's what they say? No, that's bullshit.

• 29:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I believe it.

• 29:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, I don't... I... Every woman- If you weren't funny, then- I, okay. No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

• 29:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If you weren't funny, you'd be hideous.

• 29:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Okay.

• 30:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, so-

• 30:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If I wasn't funny, I would be very unattractive. It's p- it's a part of your... Your aura is that.

• 30:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, uh, what I'm saying-

• 30:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So your funny is part of your looks.

• 30:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What, what I'm saying- ... is when I, before I was a stand-up, was I funny? Yes. Mm.

• 30:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  More funny than most guys. So I, you know what I mean, I would hit on girls, right? And they were like, you know, and they claim we, funny is the thing, right? Then a year later, they'll have a boyfriend, the most unfunniest guy you've ever seen in your life.

• 30:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They eventually come around. Look what's happening now.

• 30:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, what I'm saying is is that they say- I guess, you know, you guys aren't-

• 30:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The funniest part about this is we're about to have one of the most handsome dudes on earth- ... on the podcast.

• 30:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 30:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's so funny. He's so handsome and talented.

• 30:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know.

• 30:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pitch this to him. Get in here, Jimmy. Get him in here so we can-

• 30:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy. Jimmy, come.

• 30:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This is gonna be the best version of... This guy needs some...

• 30:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What's up? How are you, big dog?

• 30:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Good to see you.

• 30:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Hey.

• 30:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What's up, Jimmy? How are you, bud?

• 30:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, sit up.

• 30:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Sit down, Jimmy.

• 30:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, set him set up in the blue chair.

• 31:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh, the blue chair.

• 31:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at these.

• 31:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He needs to be a part of this. Uh, great men have sat in those chairs.

• 31:05SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Which one? The-

• 31:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The blue, blue.

• 31:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Blue. Go to the blue.

• 31:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, the Jack Black one.

• 31:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jack Black sat in that.

• 31:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh, this is nice.

• 31:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's nice, right?

• 31:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 31:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What a handsome guy.

• 31:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  People think it might not be comfortable, but yet it is.

• 31:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Not for-

• 31:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ji- Jimmy, put your earph- earphones on if you want.

• 31:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You, you don't need to if you don't.

• 31:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You don't have to.

• 31:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, I don't.

• 31:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can I ask you a question, Jimmy?

• 31:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, go ahead.

• 31:20SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And there's no offense to the question I'm gonna ask you.

• 31:23SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay.

• 31:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay? None at all.

• 31:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh-huh.

• 31:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay? Am I objectively handsome in societal terms?

• 31:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Already stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. See, a- already I made my point, because he's trying to say something positive.

• 31:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, he's thinking.

• 31:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, y- no, think... It's yes or no. If-

• 31:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's thinking

• 31:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... if I was Matt Rife, he would say yes immediately.

• 31:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Maybe he's not attracted to Matt Rife.

• 31:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, he... But Matt Rife is objectively handsome.

• 31:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Maybe not to him.

• 31:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, so go ahead.

• 31:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I would, I would say...

• 32:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:03SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You're coming in hot. Um-

• 32:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 32:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I would s- hon- I'd say objectively-

• 32:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... maybe not.

• 32:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And a- th- and let me say something. I love Jimmy more than anyone else in this room-

• 32:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sure

• 32:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... because he's being honest.

• 32:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm be- but Jimmy doesn't know you.

• 32:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It doesn't matter. This is... I'm talking about just on my physical appearance.

• 32:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm.

• 32:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay?

• 32:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Without knowing my personality. This is what we're talking about.

• 32:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're adding in, "Oh, can he do a sketch?"

• 32:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You can.

• 32:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or-

• 32:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're good at sketches

• 32:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... does he have improv skills? No.

• 32:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes.

• 32:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't give a fuck about that, right? What I'm saying is, Jimmy, I'm not objectively handsome.

• 32:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But-

• 32:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, there's no but

• 32:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... but you may have-

• 32:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But what do they say?

• 32:48SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You may, but you may have sex appeal.

• 32:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes.

• 32:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 32:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes. Sex appeal. You've got sex appeal. Now, Jimmy has sex appeal and he's handsome. So he's in first place.

• 33:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 33:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 33:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's what I'm saying.

• 33:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But, but you're still running, baby. You're still in the race.

• 33:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. I wanna say this, okay, Jimmy.

• 33:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right.

• 33:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jimmy Tatro is on the show, by the way, ladies and gentlemen.

• 33:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Give him a round of applause.

• 33:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We're coming. Let's go.

• 33:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Give him a round of applause.

• 33:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Thank you, Jimmy. And, and nice to meet you.

• 33:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Nice to meet you.

• 33:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 33:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I can't believe you guys have never met before.

• 33:15SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I feel like we've, I feel like we've met.

• 33:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We've never met, no, no.

• 33:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You've never met before.

• 33:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I c- I, we know. So, um- Good to see you, though.

• 33:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Good to see you.

• 33:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. Very handsome.

• 33:27SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Like- likewise.

• 33:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm. But, um-

• 33:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He means mentally.

• 33:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, mentally, okay.

• 33:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or mentally you're handsome.

• 33:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right. So, um, I, I, I don't wanna be a downer, Jimmy.

• 33:35SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 33:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 33:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And then we- we're gonna get into, you know what I mean?

• 33:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 33:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Everything else, but I just wanna say that if there was 100 w- no one knew who the fuck we were.

• 33:47SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? And you took 100 women from all over the world.

• 33:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? Attractive women.

• 33:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  All over the world.

• 33:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, and took two photos of us from head to toe-

• 33:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh-huh

• 33:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... and said, "Who's the most handsome between you and I?"

• 34:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 34:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What do you think the answer would be?

• 34:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, but it's all over the world. So remember, you're gonna get some-

• 34:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 34:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... you're gonna get some votes that he won't get.

• 34:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, I know. But what do you think the vo- what do you think it will be?

• 34:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I think maybe, maybe, you know-

• 34:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... seve- m- maybe like s- maybe like 70/30, 75/25.

• 34:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pretty good.

• 34:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And that's all you.

• 34:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And that's you. Y- yeah.

• 34:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

• 34:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, but that would-

• 34:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I feel like I'm coming in in the middle of something.

• 34:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, you're not coming in the middle of something.

• 34:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 34:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was really good to see you. Give, give Jimmy a round of applause, everybody. Thanks for coming out.

• 34:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But this would be the same number.

• 34:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I was just getting-

• 34:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Let me say this

• 34:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... from a stranger, I was just trying to get facts.

• 34:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This would be the same number with him and I. It would be a 70/30 same.

• 34:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't think so.

• 34:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes, it would.

• 34:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Because I'll tell you why.

• 34:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes, it would, dude.

• 34:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy, I'll tell you why.

• 34:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He has traditional handsome looks.

• 34:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy.

• 34:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I am of good taste.

• 34:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I saw you when you were in San Diego Balboa Theater.

• 34:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Balboa Theater, yeah.

• 34:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? I was in the audience watching you perform.

• 34:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And there was two women sitting next to me. This, this is God honest truth.

• 34:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They were very both attractive.

• 34:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And they looked at me and they go, "Your guy, your friend on stage is hot."

• 35:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Because I'm on stage.

• 35:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 35:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You took out all the comedy stuff.

• 35:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what?

• 35:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If you just said objectively what you asked him, same thing, 70/30, same numbers. Go ahead. T- speak your truth. 70/30, you and I.

• 35:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh, maybe, maybe a little... It might be a little m- a little s- more skewed, maybe, maybe 65.

• 35:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 35:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay, 65/35. So I got 5 more percent, dude.

• 35:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What was the-

• 35:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Thank you.

• 35:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Thank you so much for being on.

• 35:32SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm done.

• 35:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Welcome to the show, man. See?

• 35:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm trying.

• 35:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Welcome to the show.

• 35:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm, I'm sweating over here.

• 35:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. Don't be sweaty. Don't be sweaty, Jimmy.

• 35:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Don't be sweaty, man. This is the vibe of the show.

• 35:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  This is the vibe of the show.

• 35:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We already got through a l- lot of our soccer talk.

• 35:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We got through a lot.

• 35:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What was your stance on this?

• 35:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um, see, I'm, I, I think he's extremely attractive. He's putting himself down for no reason. I think he's got so much, uh-

• 35:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm not being, putting myself down. I'm being objectively honest.

• 35:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's got a lot of je ne sais quoi. You know, there's something about Bobby that's un- it's un, um, when somebody says people have the X factor when it comes to talent, which you have, you're not allo- you can't dictate what that is. He's got that for sex appeal. Women do find him attractive.

• 36:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Some.

• 36:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  V- a lot.

• 36:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 36:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A lot.

• 36:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. But-

• 36:10SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That doesn't surprise me.

• 36:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  See?

• 36:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's why I said the sex-

• 36:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Thank you, Jimmy

• 36:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... that's why I said the sex appeal.

• 36:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But you said objectively.

• 36:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 36:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, that's what I said.

• 36:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 36:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Objectively if, if I d- they didn't know-

• 36:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 36:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... who I was, I think y- I think the number would be closer to 99 to 1. I, I do. Globally. Historically.

• 36:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One sec

• 36:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Historically, in Rome.

• 36:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, let's not go, let's not go back that far.

• 36:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Rome. A- any historical-

• 36:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mesopotamia?

• 36:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, Mesopotamia.

• 36:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, all right.

• 36:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Right?

• 36:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Period.

• 36:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And, and I'm okay with it. I have high self-esteem, right? I have worth.

• 36:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 36:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I walk around with my head up high, o- uh, arms open with confidence.

• 36:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He always walks like this.

• 36:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I always walk like that. Like a penguin. Okay?

• 36:55SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, see, that's ... I, we haven't met, but I have seen you walking.

• 36:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  E- exactly. I do that.

• 36:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 37:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Because that's confidence. I have confidence, right?

• 37:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, the walk.

• 37:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Are you, are you single?

• 37:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No. No.

• 37:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 37:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm, I'm engaged.

• 37:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But he's-

• 37:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is she, is-

• 37:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Congratulations

• 37:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... is the woman that came in here earlier your, the one you're engaged with?

• 37:10SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No.

• 37:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, who is she?

• 37:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Publicist.

• 37:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's Lauren.

• 37:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Lauren, come out here for a second.

• 37:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Do you think he's gonna bring his fucking, uh, fiance to the show?

• 37:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no. Lauren, you don't have to be on screen. Just, just, can I see you?

• 37:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, there's a ... Hi, Lauren.

• 37:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hi, Lauren. How are ya?

• 37:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's your publicist.

• 37:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Just stay right there. You're, you're a publicist, right?

• 37:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 37:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She might, she doesn't wanna be on camera.

• 37:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  She's not gonna be on camera.

• 37:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 37:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Are, is she on camera?

• 37:28SCRIBE_speaker_5

  No.

• 37:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. All right. So we don't, we can even bleep your name out, right? Can I ask a woman?

• 37:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, sure. No, no, you're not going anywhere now.

• 37:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, she, she, yeah, yeah, she can't even answer it.

• 37:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 37:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 37:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She knows better.

• 37:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 37:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's a publicist. The last thing she wants to do is-

• 37:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay

• 37:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... defame someone.

• 37:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I understand. It's, it's not defaming. I've accepted. I'm fine. Jimmy, how are, how's your life?

• 37:52SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Li- ... You know, it, it's, uh, life's good.

• 37:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good.

• 37:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah. Life's good.

• 37:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 37:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  How you doing?

• 37:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Busy boy.

• 37:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I feel great. I feel wonderful.

• 37:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 37:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You ever fast?

• 38:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Do I ever fast?

• 38:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 38:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I did, uh, like a broth fast.

• 38:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A broth fast?

• 38:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 38:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  For how long?

• 38:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Like, like 36 hours.

• 38:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 38:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Chicken or beef?

• 38:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh, chi- I think I alternated.

• 38:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, you gotta keep switching.

• 38:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  'Cause all my friends were on, like, a water fast. Like, a, like, a couple years ago they were like, "We wanna do this se-" They, they did like a 72-hour water fast.

• 38:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's insane.

• 38:21SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And that sounded intense. I was-

• 38:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  24 hours is the longest I've gone, but I do it once a week.

• 38:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh, really?

• 38:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 38:28SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And then how do you feel after?

• 38:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Terrible.

• 38:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hungry.

• 38:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I feel absolutely terrible.

• 38:32SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So why do you keep doing it?

• 38:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know why. Yeah, I have no ... Because you go on the internet and they say it's good for you.

• 38:38SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 38:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They do. They do say it's good.

• 38:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But you're not feeling any, any actual benefits?

• 38:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think that I feel ... I haven't had diarrhea in a long time.

• 38:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay.

• 38:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's a good thing.

• 38:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's good.

• 38:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I haven't had diarrhea in a long time.

• 38:48SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's good.

• 38:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  My stool is perfect.

• 38:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh.

• 38:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pu- pure perfection.

• 38:52SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 38:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, solid.

• 38:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We're thinking about entering it into a contest.

• 38:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And you-

• 38:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I could win

• 38:57SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... after every stool, you're, you take a photo, send it to ChatGPT, say, "Give me a score out of 10."

• 39:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ye- I do-

• 39:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, I see what you've done there. That looks pretty good.

• 39:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. I've, uh-

• 39:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can I offer some suggestions?

• 39:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I do that. Of course I do that.

• 39:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Of course.

• 39:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy.

• 39:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 39:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I mean, we all do.

• 39:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. And then, um, I also, um, no processed foods.

• 39:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm.

• 39:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Unless they've been processed.

• 39:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. If they're already processed, I eat them.

• 39:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What does that-

• 39:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 39:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What does that entail, though? Like, like, p- processed foods. So you're not eating, like, like, chips? Like, like-

• 39:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No

• 39:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... like, like any-

• 39:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No chips.

• 39:27SCRIBE_speaker_4

  At all?

• 39:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. No carbs.

• 39:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No carbs?

• 39:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. At all. Unless I, there, unless there are things that I'm eating that have carbs that I'm not aware of.

• 39:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like, he has, he has pasta and bread and-

• 39:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not aware of those carbs.

• 39:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Just aware of the carbs.

• 39:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no. Here's the thing, Jimmy. I eat, um, Japanese purple potatoes.

• 39:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Gotta have purple potatoes.

• 39:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Sweet potatoes.

• 39:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 39:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Those are good for you. You know? Sardines, salmon.

• 39:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I mean? Avocado, things of that nature. I'm sure they have carbs, but you know what I mean. I'm trying to eat everything on organic.

• 40:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A lot of organic.

• 40:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do you, are you a diet guy?

• 40:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I recently, I did a blood test. Came back super high cholesterol-wise.

• 40:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Me too.

• 40:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I was shocked, 'cause I thought I ate really well.

• 40:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 40:10SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But I wasn't being mindful of saturated fats.

• 40:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ooh.

• 40:13SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So then I re-

• 40:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What are those, though? What are those?

• 40:15SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's like, you know, butter has the most.

• 40:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 40:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So good.

• 40:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I, what I didn't realize was, like, eggs. I was eating, like, four eggs a day. Each egg has, like, a gram and a half.

• 40:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Of saturated fat.

• 40:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Of saturated fat.

• 40:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What about egg white?

• 40:27SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Egg whites have none, so I'm fine with eating egg whites. So I kinda switched over. Cut back on red meat a little bit.

• 40:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 40:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna die. I don't care.

• 40:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I know.

• 40:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Eggs, cheese. Yeah, yeah, I like it all.

• 40:38SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Cheese is also ... It's, like, all the fun stuff.

• 40:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I don't eat any of that right now. It's been weeks.

• 40:43SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So what do you ... Oh, you, you s- you said salmon and Japanese purple potatoes.

• 40:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What'd you call me?

• 40:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Purple potatoes.

• 40:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  My dick's purple.

• 40:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Is it?

• 40:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 40:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 40:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It really is. But anyway, let's move on from that fact. Um, why do you, why are you nodding your head?

• 40:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Well, I wish I had known that before you asked me to guess it. I would've given you some, that would've given you some points.

• 41:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right. Different colored penis.

• 41:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Purple, purple potatoes.

• 41:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Points.

• 41:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. So, um, egg whites and ... So what else are you ... So steak also has saturated fats.

• 41:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, a lot.

• 41:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If you cut out the fat, though, in it, is that fine?

• 41:15SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That helps.

• 41:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It helps.

• 41:17SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, it helps.

• 41:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 41:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If you eat leaner meat.

• 41:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If I eat leaner meat. Okay.

• 41:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I think do what you feel is right, and then you'll die, so who, who cares?

• 41:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 41:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 41:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's not gonna matter. You gotta be on camera a lot. That's why you're doing it.

• 41:28SCRIBE_speaker_4

  It was more because, I mean, I thought I was, I thought I was eating well, and then I saw that, and I was like, "Oh."

• 41:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Do you and your w- your f- wife soon to be do the thing where you meal prep and meal plan together?

• 41:38SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No.

• 41:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 41:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 41:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is she wild card? She eats, uh, whatever she wants?

• 41:41SCRIBE_speaker_4

  She, she likes to cook.

• 41:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ah.

• 41:43SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, uh, like to eat what she cooks.

• 41:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 41:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And then if she's out of town, I'm, I'm a big Postmates guy.

• 41:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Big Postmates. What do we-

• 41:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Me too

• 41:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... yeah, Postmates. Yeah.

• 41:52SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 41:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Me too.

• 41:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'll do all of it.

• 41:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I do all of it too.

• 41:55SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 41:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, but it's bad-

• 41:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 41:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... because there's nothing good on there, really. It's usually pretty bad shit on there.

• 42:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 42:01SCRIBE_speaker_4

  There's some good-

• 42:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I do?

• 42:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You can find it.

• 42:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I Po- I Postmates Erewhon.

• 42:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That I do as well.

• 42:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Thank you.

• 42:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 42:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  On the road?

• 42:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, uh, what do you mean?

• 42:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  When you're out of town?

• 42:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  From now on, when I go out of town, canned sardines in my fucking bag.

• 42:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's all you're having.

• 42:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 42:16SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Canned sardines? Or do you bring them with?

• 42:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I'm gonna bring them with.

• 42:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "Sir, do you have any hazardous materials in this carry-on luggage?" "I have 50 cans of sardines."

• 42:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yep.

• 42:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "I hope that's okay."

• 42:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's insane that you do that now.

• 42:27SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Are you ever hungry, and then you're like, and you just check your pockets and like, "Oh, thank God," and you have a pack of sardines on you?

• 42:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. Yes.

• 42:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Couple loose sardines. Oh oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Mountain Dew.

• 42:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mountain Dew. It is America's 250th birthday. Sh- and let me say, I'm an American.

• 42:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You really are.

• 42:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And a lot of my memories growing up is with a Mountain Dew.

• 42:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's right, in the summertime.

• 42:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  By the lake with my dad-

• 42:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Iconic-

• 42:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... on a bench

• 42:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... summer moments deserve an iconic drink like Mountain Dew. You've been having Mountain Dew for a long time. It's an American original, baby. The refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew is a perfect companion to your all-American summer adventures, whether you're drinking down by the lake having yourself-

• 43:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fishing

• 43:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... a hot dog, you're fishing, you're swimming.

• 43:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Road trips.

• 43:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Whatever you do. Road tri- love road trips, man.

• 43:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ah, dude.

• 43:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They've been tasting great since '48, man.

• 43:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh my God, 1948. And let me say this, I'm not 18, 19, okay? And I'm gonna say this too, right? They're... When you taste a Mountain Dew, you know exactly what you're getting.

• 43:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You do.

• 43:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That citrus f- fresh taste.

• 43:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You can do the Dew.

• 43:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You gotta do it.

• 43:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know, and you know the two brothers created Mountain Dew deep in the foothills of Tennessee. They should get, uh, get prepared, 'cause we should create that. We're two brothers, and we should create our own little drink.

• 43:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 43:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Will it hold up against Mountain Dew? Probably not.

• 43:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, 'cause of the s- it's the king.

• 43:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Whether you're celebrating on the grill, at the beach, right in your own living room, sipping on a Mountain Dew is a great way to start a damn good time.

• 43:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original. Tasting great since '48.

• 43:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at mountaindew.com. That's mountaindew.com. Quince.

• 43:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Quince. Oh my God, I love Quince.

• 43:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Thank you to Quince.

• 43:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 43:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This was huge.

• 43:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The one thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels. And th- you feel this fabric, dude. The days are a little bit more relaxed, and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable, go-anywhere pieces again and again and again and again.

• 44:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know why? It's 100% European linen pants-

• 44:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh my God

• 44:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and shirts. These are breathable, easy to throw on, and the summer upgrade your rotation needs. They're starting at just $34. I don't know what you're looking at-

• 44:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know what you're looking-

• 44:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... clothing price-wise, but this is extremely affordable, and these pants are so very comfortable. And they're a little stretchy, because sometimes I eat a few too many chips and soda pop, okay?

• 44:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the mi- middleman. So you're, uh, paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup.

• 44:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, you're not gonna get marked up with Quince, and that's the best part. They've been a partner with us for a while. And, uh, you know, at first, they send you stuff, and you go, "Oh, let me see if I like it." Well, McConugh wore my shirt to the lake all weekend.

• 44:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 44:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And I was really mad about it, but luckily he left my pants alone, 'cause sometimes he does steal my pants.

• 44:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 44:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Makes s-

• 44:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You want my oxford blue shirt, uh, from Quince? I-

• 44:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, you don't, don't, I didn't have anything.

• 44:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I'll, I'll get another one.

• 44:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'll never get it back.

• 44:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You'll love it.

• 44:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com/badfriends for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

• 44:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Now available in Canada too.

• 44:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow.

• 44:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com/badfriends for free shipping and a 365-day return.

• 45:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's quince.com, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com/badfriends. Quince.com/badfriends.

• 45:07SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Finding a doctor is hard enough. Finding the right doctor, even harder. Someone who takes your insurance, has an available appointment when you need one, and feels like someone you can actually open up to. That's where Zocdoc comes in. Download the Zocdoc app to search and compare doctors by specialty, insurance, and availability. Read real patient reviews. Find the right fit for you and book instantly, because getting seen by the right doctor matters. Zocdoc. Ready to be seen? Download the Zocdoc app today.

• 45:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I'm t- I, I'm trying to... I don't know what I'm doing. Well, yes, you can bring s- carry it, but it's risky. Why?

• 45:44SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Because it goes over the 100 milliliters.

• 45:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can bring sardines in your carry-on, but it's risky.

• 45:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's very risky.

• 45:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Water-

• 45:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Just go, water w- the water goes over the ounce limit.

• 45:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, fuck. What if you ca- check in your bag?

• 45:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What you should do is just keep them all in your mouth the whole flight.

• 46:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The y- Oh, I see.

• 46:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And swallow when you're hungry.

• 46:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 46:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You don't check your bag.

• 46:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 46:03SCRIBE_speaker_6

  You don't check, you don't check them?

• 46:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He never, never checks-

• 46:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I only do carry on. No. Like a hobo.

• 46:08SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Yeah.

• 46:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Even-

• 46:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I have a stick and a little bag, and I, I c- I walk across.

• 46:11SCRIBE_speaker_6

  You have a little bag.

• 46:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He takes a train to LAX.

• 46:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 46:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He, he t-

• 46:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I get a train

• 46:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... train hops all the way down there.

• 46:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I train hop. Yeah, yeah. But I, um, yeah.

• 46:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You don't ever check a fucking bag.

• 46:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 46:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Never. Unless we have to when we're on a big tour.

• 46:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If we're going on the round the world, yeah.

• 46:24SCRIBE_speaker_3

  What about Australia? Are you gonna check one?

• 46:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Don't do it.

• 46:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 46:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Try to see if you can get away-

• 46:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Thank God

• 46:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... with it without doing it. It'd be so funny to try to do that.

• 46:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, how long are we gonna be there for?

• 46:32SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Two weeks.

• 46:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Easy money.

• 46:33SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Oh, two weeks.

• 46:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You can do laundry at a venue.

• 46:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I'll, I'll launder it.

• 46:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think you should, I think you don't need to.

• 46:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Two weeks.

• 46:37SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I'll do the laundry.

• 46:38SCRIBE_speaker_6

  You gotta check two weeks.

• 46:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 46:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 46:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 46:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll tell you why. Very good question, Jimmy. Right?

• 46:43SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Yeah.

• 46:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Very good question.

• 46:45SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Yeah. Thank you.

• 46:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. So-

• 46:48SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Yeah.

• 46:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You see that?

• 46:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  See this?

• 46:50SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Oh.

• 46:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Size four.

• 46:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, not, it's not the shoes.

• 46:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, sorry.

• 46:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's not the shoe, Jimmy. It's the jeans. I have raw denim on. I bring one pair of jeans.

• 47:00SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Ah.

• 47:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay? So I can fade them.

• 47:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mm.

• 47:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right? So all I have to do is put shirts in.

• 47:05SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 47:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Underwear too, yeah.

• 47:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Underwear and socks.

• 47:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And socks.

• 47:08SCRIBE_speaker_6

  That's, that's true, 'cause the pants, that's, that's what takes up the most space.

• 47:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Exactly.

• 47:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 47:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, you p- h- wh- when you're on a trip for two weeks, how many pants do you bring?

• 47:15SCRIBE_speaker_6

  I bring too many pants.

• 47:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ex- but he's a hot guy. Hot guys have too many pants.

• 47:20SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 47:20SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Oh, hot guy.

• 47:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You just said it again.

• 47:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hot guy.

• 47:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. You're a hot guy.

• 47:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, because hot guys-

• 47:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ugly dudes, one pair.

• 47:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One pair. I'll do two. That's the other 5%.

• 47:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, I thought you said- I thought you said hot guy.

• 47:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 47:31SCRIBE_speaker_6

  And I, and in my head I'm going, "Why do hot guys have more pants?"

• 47:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, you're a hot guy.

• 47:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hot guy, hot guy.

• 47:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hot, hot guy.

• 47:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hot guy, hot guy.

• 47:37SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Oh, hot, hot guy.

• 47:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 47:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Let me ask brass tacks real fast.

• 47:40SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Yeah, yeah .

• 47:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How fun was it working with Will Ferrell, for real?

• 47:44SCRIBE_speaker_6

  It was great.

• 47:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Best thing ever.

• 47:45SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Yeah.

• 47:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I've never met him.

• 47:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Coolest guy in the world.

• 47:47SCRIBE_speaker_6

  He's, he's the best.

• 47:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Have you met him?

• 47:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, b- but you know.

• 47:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I've never met him.

• 47:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  In passing. It's not a real-

• 47:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I've never even been around him.

• 47:54SCRIBE_speaker_6

  No way.

• 47:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 47:55SCRIBE_speaker_6

  I have a hard time believing that.

• 47:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's the 100% truth. I've never be- um, seen him or... I mean, the other day I saw Vince.

• 48:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Vaughn?

• 48:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 48:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That has nothing to do with Will Ferrell.

• 48:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know, but, but I'm, I'm just telling you-

• 48:06SCRIBE_speaker_6

  I get the association.

• 48:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 48:08SCRIBE_speaker_6

  Legendary comedy guys, tall.

• 48:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Tall. Tall.

• 48:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, what I'm saying is, is that I'm g- I'm telling you how close to proximity I, I've been-

• 48:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I ca- this is the-

• 48:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... to the top

• 48:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... the degrees of.

• 48:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:20SCRIBE_speaker_6

  This was my fifth time working with him.

• 48:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  See, you're hot.

• 48:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hot.

• 48:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I, I mean, that's hot.

• 48:26SCRIBE_speaker_6

  And that's what Will wants. He wants-

• 48:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know he does

• 48:29SCRIBE_speaker_6

  ... surrounded by hot guys.

• 48:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hot guy.

• 48:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  'Cause he's gotta be the ugly.

• 48:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This is the fifth time, but first-

• 48:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah

• 48:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... first TV series.

• 48:34SCRIBE_speaker_6

  This is his first. I think s- like, it's his first series that's, like, his series.

• 48:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's crazy to think about.

• 48:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's crazy.

• 48:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why? 'Cause in my mind, I think for sure he's had a television show before. But now he's a, a movie star, and then he never-

• 48:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, he-

• 48:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  His first entry-

• 48:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Does big, big massive movies

• 48:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... big movies.

• 48:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 48:48SCRIBE_speaker_4

  At least that I know of. I don't know if he's had, like, a-

• 48:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 48:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The Hawk now on Netflix right now.

• 48:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 48:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I know that he... Or maybe The Shrink Next Door. Is that a, is that a show?

• 48:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 48:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. M- was he... Oh yeah, he was the series regular on that.

• 49:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And then he obv- obviously, like, Eastbound and Down, but I think this is, like-

• 49:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But it's his lead sh-

• 49:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or-

• 49:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, this is like his

• 49:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... it's like his, his show, right?

• 49:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  He is The Hawk.

• 49:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, he is The Hawk.

• 49:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We did an advertisement for your show.

• 49:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh yeah?

• 49:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 49:13SCRIBE_speaker_4

  How did-

• 49:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And it was fun to do

• 49:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... how did it go?

• 49:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We wore the hat. No, it was fun.

• 49:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We wore the hat.

• 49:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We wore the hat, and we had a good time doing it.

• 49:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 49:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  All right.

• 49:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, because we're proud of you.

• 49:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We are very proud.

• 49:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And congratulations.

• 49:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Where'd you guys shoot most of the show?

• 49:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  All in LA.

• 49:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Everything in LA?

• 49:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  The whole thing in LA.

• 49:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Lucky bastard.

• 49:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Except we shot at TGL, um-

• 49:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, in Florida

• 49:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... in Florida. So we did, like, the last couple days, we would go out and during the commercial breaks we would shoot at TGL. So that was fun.

• 49:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The boys got, the boys got the hats on. There you go. Good job, boys.

• 49:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 49:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Way to be team players.

• 49:40SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 49:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's funny-

• 49:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that Luke Wilson?

• 49:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's funny 'cause Owen has a golf show-

• 49:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's Luke Wilson. Yeah

• 49:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and then Luke's doing this to combat it, which is very funny.

• 49:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 49:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 49:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's amazing.

• 49:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Almost like a fuck you.

• 49:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What's Luke like?

• 49:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Luke is cool.

• 49:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 49:50SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I mean, he's, uh, he's an interesting dude. He's, like, very casual and, like, chill-

• 49:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, that's good

• 49:57SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... and laid back.

• 49:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 49:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Exactly like his brother?

• 50:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And he's, uh, definitely the best at golf out of, out of the three of us.

• 50:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, really?

• 50:05SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, he's-

• 50:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Lucas

• 50:05SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... he's actually-

• 50:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 50:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... like, quite-

• 50:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Are they better than Andrew? Have you played with Andrew?

• 50:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, I don't know if he's... I th- I think he's pretty good.

• 50:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Who?

• 50:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 50:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Andrew.

• 50:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's one of the best.

• 50:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I-

• 50:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're, you're, y- can I say something?

• 50:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 50:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy?

• 50:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pure athlete.

• 50:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pure.

• 50:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm.

• 50:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, he-

• 50:23SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I think you, I think we need to get you, I think we need to get you on the show.

• 50:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It'd be nice.

• 50:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- yeah. You know what I'm pissed off about, Jim? Can I call you Jim?

• 50:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, sure.

• 50:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jesus. This is like an old cowboy movie. "Can I call you Jim?"

• 50:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  "Go ahead, Bob."

• 50:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So Jim, um-

• 50:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Hit me, Bob.

• 50:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I will, Jim. Um-

• 50:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, I'm just kidding, Bob.

• 50:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  God, you're good. What a crafty... Call me Robert.

• 50:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay, Robert.

• 50:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And then you call him Jiminy.

• 50:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll call him James.

• 50:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Jimothy.

• 50:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  His first name is Jimothy.

• 50:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is it really Jimothy?

• 50:57SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 50:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can I call you Jime- Jimothy?

• 50:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  On, on my license it's Jimothy, yeah.

• 50:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm gonna call you Jimothy from now on.

• 51:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay, cool.

• 51:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Can I call you Jimbo?

• 51:03SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Jimbo I'm not as passionate about.

• 51:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 51:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's why I'm gonna call you that.

• 51:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Because there was, uh, in my high school-

• 51:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm

• 51:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... a, a father of one of the kids named Jimbo-

• 51:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm

• 51:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... and everyone thought he was super cool-

• 51:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm

• 51:13SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... and he was-

• 51:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Not cool

• 51:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... not so cool.

• 51:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right, let's go back to Jimmy. So Jimmy, I'm gonna say that Andrew is a great actor. Can you agree on that?

• 51:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 51:21SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I can.

• 51:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 51:23SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You-

• 51:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What's the, what's the angle here?

• 51:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There is no angle.

• 51:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 51:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There's only truth today.

• 51:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 51:28SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 51:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Today is about honesty and truth.

• 51:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's on his truth kick.

• 51:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 51:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's big on a truth kick.

• 51:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, yeah, okay, is that you're a great actor-

• 51:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm, that's nice

• 51:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... and you're a great golfer.

• 51:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? Season two, get this guy on the show.

• 51:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, no.

• 51:40SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 51:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 51:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He has no control over that. He's an actor on the show.

• 51:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can say things.

• 51:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I can say things.

• 51:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 51:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'll say-

• 51:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can say things

• 51:47SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... I can say some stuff.

• 51:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 51:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 51:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 51:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, and I, it makes me mad that there's th- these golfing projects-

• 51:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm

• 51:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... that you're not i- in the top three in.

• 51:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I get that.

• 51:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I have a-

• 51:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I think you should be on it.

• 51:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

• 51:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This is, like, just for us.

• 51:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, I like where you are, though, pretty close to my house.

• 52:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, it is nice.

• 52:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, that's nice.

• 52:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 52:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Good, yeah.

• 52:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So you're in the area.

• 52:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm, like, you know, 10 minutes away.

• 52:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you're 10 minutes away? That's perfect.

• 52:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, it's great.

• 52:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Did you read for this show?

• 52:10SCRIBE_speaker_4

  For-

• 52:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hawk?

• 52:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The Will Ferrell, Hawk?

• 52:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh, I actually didn't because, uh-

• 52:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Offer only

• 52:15SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... I had just...

• 52:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know he's offer only.

• 52:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Offer only.

• 52:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, I, I, no, I, I had literally just come off of a movie with, like, the whole, with Will and the whole, the whole, the whole team, so-

• 52:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Perfect.

• 52:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 52:27SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Um, with DreamWorks.

• 52:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And so they made it happen

• 52:28SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... went straight from that in- into this.

• 52:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 52:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 52:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's a good actor. He's nice to look at. He's nice to work with. You know what I mean? He doesn't cause problems.

• 52:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's why he's so successful.

• 52:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 52:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And then also, um, uh, Fortune Feimster's in this-

• 52:40SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah

• 52:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... who's the, who, one of our friends, a good friend.

• 52:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I love Fortune.

• 52:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's so fucking funny.

• 52:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, she-

• 52:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  She plays the caddy.

• 52:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There she is.

• 52:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's the caddy.

• 52:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  She, yeah, yeah, she, she plays a caddy that's, like, um, he, he picks up in a Walmart parking lot.

• 52:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Love.

• 52:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And, um, is like, "Hey, do you wanna be my caddy?"

• 52:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 52:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Just a random woman from Walmart?

• 52:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah, 'cause he's just, like, he's, like, this kind of washed up golfer who's trying to make his way back onto the tour-

• 53:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 53:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... and, uh, something happens. He needs a new caddy, and he just sees this woman and, and he, like,s her vibe at a certain point, and he's like, "Hey, do you wanna be my caddy?" And she's like, "I have no idea what that means." So the whole, half the time he's, like, telling her-

• 53:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Explaining to her golf

• 53:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... yeah, he's like, "Get, let, let me get my seven iron." She's like, she's like, "Which one is that?" He's like, "The one, the one with the seven on it."

• 53:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right, yeah. Kind of on the nose.

• 53:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 53:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. So wait, this is the funniest part about the show that I did notice was he's got, um, Luke's got a shirt on that has Mike's Hard Lemonade on it.

• 53:35SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yes, he is, uh, his character-

• 53:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The-

• 53:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... is sponsored by G- Mike's Hard Lemonade.

• 53:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But the layers of this is funny and true because o- uh, obviously Mike's is a sponsor of the show, so, like, clever move by them to be like, "It's funny. Also we're gonna, they're marketing."

• 53:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Are you the nemesis in the show?

• 53:47SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, we kind of are, are, uh-

• 53:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're the nemesis

• 53:52SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... nemes- nemeses.

• 53:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 53:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Nemeses.

• 53:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Nemeses.

• 53:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  We are, yes, co-nemeses.

• 53:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Oh, co-nemeses.

• 53:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Aren't you his son?

• 53:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm the son, yeah.

• 53:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, he's his son.

• 54:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh. T- then no.

• 54:01SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Well, but I play a pro golfer, and he plays a pro golfer, and at a certain point he's worried that I'm gonna kinda start to outshine him.

• 54:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's so funny.

• 54:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So he sets off kind of on a mission to, to take me down.

• 54:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's funny.

• 54:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's good.

• 54:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 54:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  It seems like-

• 54:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I like that a lot

• 54:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... maybe it's gonna be, like, a nice kind of father-son story-

• 54:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, it's not

• 54:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... where it's like, you know, maybe he'll coach him, and it-

• 54:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 54:20SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... he's like, "Nah."

• 54:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Do we ever see your mother?

• 54:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh yeah, my mother is Molly Shannon.

• 54:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, that's so good.

• 54:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Never heard of her.

• 54:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So good.

• 54:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Anyway, um, no, she's great.

• 54:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One of the-

• 54:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What a talent

• 54:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... one of the sweetest people.

• 54:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  One of the sweetest and most talented people.

• 54:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  She is so funny. She, on, like, the last day of shooting, everyone's kind of leaving, and I just, I was like, "Oh man, I haven't said bye to Molly yet," and I just hear, like,

• 54:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  and I, like, walk out of my trailer, and she's blasting Chief Keef.

• 54:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's so funny.

• 54:47SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I'm like- ... I'm like-

• 54:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's so funny

• 54:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... "Molly," and she's like, she's like, "I love Chief Keef." She goes, "Do you know Cheat Keem?" "Isn't he great?" I was like, "Yeah, he's great."

• 54:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's the funny thing.

• 54:57SCRIBE_speaker_4

  "I love it so much."

• 54:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's amazing that she knows Cheat Keem.

• 55:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  She drove off with, like, a sub slapping his feet.

• 55:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's like, "Two 12s in the back."

• 55:05SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "I make it thump. Bye, Jimmy."

• 55:07SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, literally.

• 55:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's the shit.

• 55:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can I ask you another question, Jimmy?

• 55:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah. Shoot, Bob.

• 55:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Um...

• 55:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's inquisitive today.

• 55:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do, do you want children?

• 55:17SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Do I want what?

• 55:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do you want children?

• 55:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Do I want children? Yes.

• 55:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good.

• 55:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We're trying to sell some here. Guys, bring out the kids.

• 55:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We have a Nigerian and a Puerto Rican.

• 55:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I was looking-

• 55:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Choose wisely, Daetro.

• 55:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:28SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I was looking for an Asian.

• 55:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 55:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Good.

• 55:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You, do you want kids?

• 55:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I c- we can't have kids. We tried. We did it for a long time.

• 55:33SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay.

• 55:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Couldn't do it. But I will, um-

• 55:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Why don't you adopt a Nigerian or Puerto Rican? We have a couple back there.

• 55:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, they come home with me at night.

• 55:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, they do?

• 55:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But I don't... Yeah.

• 55:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, okay.

• 55:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Is that why you're asking?

• 55:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What?

• 55:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Because...

• 55:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, no, no, no.

• 55:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no.

• 55:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not 'cause of me.

• 55:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, not because of me.

• 55:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no.

• 55:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, not because of him, no.

• 55:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, but I, we did try to have kids. I just, uh, I'm at the point now, I'm 43.

• 55:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think I might have missed the train.

• 55:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, I'm 55. What the fuck are you talking about?

• 55:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, but, but, but, but Asians, specifically Koreans, they're good as-

• 56:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We're lo- we're losers.

• 56:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 56:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at the World Cup.

• 56:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They're good as old dads. Old white dads-

• 56:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah

• 56:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... scary and sad.

• 56:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 56:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Old Korean dad, funny, sweet, cute.

• 56:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy-

• 56:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah

• 56:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... do you have Korean friends?

• 56:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I think so.

• 56:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, my God.

• 56:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, you got one now.

• 56:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You got one now.

• 56:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 56:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So that's one.

• 56:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm racking my brain.

• 56:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Where'd you grow up?

• 56:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I grew up in LA.

• 56:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  In here?

• 56:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 56:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 56:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Where'd you go to high school?

• 56:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I went to Notre Dame in Sherman Oaks, but I grew up on the West Side.

• 56:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 56:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  In Venice.

• 56:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Huge.

• 56:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do you have Asian friends?

• 56:32SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yes.

• 56:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, good.

• 56:33SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 56:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's all I wanted to hear.

• 56:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 56:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 56:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, growing up in LA, for sure you have Asian friends. It's, this is, it's LA.

• 56:38SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 56:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And Mexican friends, for sure.

• 56:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You have to.

• 56:41SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Definitely, definitely Mexican friends.

• 56:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're a West Side kid? I didn't know that you're a-

• 56:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah

• 56:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... West Side kid.

• 56:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're a West Side kid. How west?

• 56:48SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Venice.

• 56:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 56:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  As west-

• 56:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You could be an ocean kid. I don't know.

• 56:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  As west as ... Yeah.

• 56:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Could've been born on a boat.

• 56:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. There are-

• 56:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's true.

• 56:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But Venice is, Venice... You grew up in Venice, 'cause you're, what? How old are you?

• 56:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm 34.

• 56:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Thir- yeah, you grew up in Venice, and it was still pretty tough when you were a kid.

• 57:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  In the '90s, yeah.

• 57:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was, like, a rough patch down there.

• 57:05SCRIBE_speaker_4

  It was, yeah. It's definitely changed a lot since, since I lived there.

• 57:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sure.

• 57:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Are you a Dogtown kid?

• 57:11SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You are?

• 57:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 57:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Skate?

• 57:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I grew, I was a, I grew-

• 57:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Skate rat?

• 57:13SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... skater boy.

• 57:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, you look like a Dogtown k- kid to me.

• 57:17SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 57:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 57:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You do. Did you get in fights when you were a kid?

• 57:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Not so much, not, um-

• 57:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You, were you in Lords of Dogtown?

• 57:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I wasn't in Lords of Dogtown.

• 57:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 57:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Um...

• 57:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Do you know Tony Alva?

• 57:31SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I don't. I wished I did.

• 57:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. You know who he is?

• 57:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But I did, yeah, that, I mean, like, after I saw Lords of Dogtown as a kid, that was like, oh, man.

• 57:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's my life story.

• 57:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Like, that's us.

• 57:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 57:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 57:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 57:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Isn't that kinda crazy, though, to see movies like that knowing that you grew up in the thick of that thing?

• 57:47SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Well-

• 57:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like, in that place, whether you knew it or not

• 57:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... well, honestly, you know, it was weird. When I saw the movie mid-'90s-

• 57:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 57:52SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... I, like, wanted to not like it, because I was like, eh, skateboarding movie, like, what do they know about it?

• 57:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jonah's movie, right?

• 57:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Sk- skating, yeah.

• 57:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 57:58SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Skating in Venice in the '90s. And I w- and then I saw it, and I was like, oh, man, that was like, that was, that was my life. And it was, like, the three dudes, it was, like, that Black dude on the left, and then, like-

• 58:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The little boy

• 58:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... that guy, the guy with the long hair, and it was like that was my squad. I was, like, the little white dude, and then I had my two best friends was this Mexican dude and this Black dude who were both like four years older than me.

• 58:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I was the one that filmed the videos. And it was like-

• 58:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you didn't skate at all?

• 58:23SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, I did. I did.

• 58:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let me ask you something. Can you do a pop shove it?

• 58:27SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 58:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can you do a kickflip?

• 58:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 58:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Heelflip?

• 58:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Heelflip I have, but I, I wouldn't feel, I, I couldn't, I'm, I don't know if I could do one right now.

• 58:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But you pulled one off but in your life?

• 58:37SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Many, yes.

• 58:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, many?

• 58:38SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Many.

• 58:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let me ask you the other ones.

• 58:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Laser?

• 58:41SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No.

• 58:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. No laserflip.

• 58:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If he can't do a fucking heelflip, he can't do a laserflip.

• 58:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's done a heelflip, he said, in his life.

• 58:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, he said he can't really do it.

• 58:48SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I peaked at the treflip.

• 58:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Treflip's big.

• 58:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Treflip's huge.

• 58:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, the treflip was-

• 58:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can you treflip onto a rail?

• 58:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No.

• 58:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What?

• 58:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. What?

• 58:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Treflip onto a rail?

• 58:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 58:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's not a pro skateboarder.

• 59:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 59:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's insanely hard.

• 59:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He could be like Yuto Horigome.

• 59:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He could be.

• 59:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 59:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That kid's good.

• 59:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's so good.

• 59:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He could be.

• 59:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 59:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This is your crew.

• 59:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's your crew.

• 59:10SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That was literally my crew.

• 59:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. This is why I like you.

• 59:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Now, were you a little bad boy, though?

• 59:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I wasn't that bad, no. I was, like, more-

• 59:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no drugs, no booze

• 59:17SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... I was more of a good boy back then, and then the friends were kinda bad boys, and my parents were always like, "We don't like you hanging out with-"

• 59:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mexicans and Black people.

• 59:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  It was, it was...

• 59:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You know it. No.

• 59:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jimmy, why can't you have white friends?

• 59:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, there was-

• 59:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That skate

• 59:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... there was-

• 59:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Tony Alva

• 59:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... it w- There was Chri- it was Chris and AJ, and my parents liked them. But then there was this kid, Hugo, and Hugo was-

• 59:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Already Hugo's our...

• 59:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  He was even older.

• 59:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 59:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And he would, like, pick up-

• 59:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's, like, 45

• 59:48SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... he was, like, I don't know how old, but I thought he was, like, 20.

• 59:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But I, you know, I was like 12, and he would, like, pick up cigarettes and light them and s- he would, like, pick up... And I was like, damn, he's, like, so-

• 59:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hardcore

• 1:00:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... hardcore.

• 1:00:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's hardcore, man.

• 1:00:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Now Hugo has hepatitis B.

• 1:00:03SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Hugo.

• 1:00:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And then he, he, like, keyed my dad's car one time.

• 1:00:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hell yeah.

• 1:00:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, that's what Hugo's do.

• 1:00:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I was like, "I don't like this Hugo guy."

• 1:00:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I was like, "What's so bad about Hugo?" He's like, "He fucking keyed my car."

• 1:00:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why did he key your dad's car? What was-

• 1:00:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Does he look through windows?

• 1:00:15SCRIBE_speaker_4

  He just liked cars.

• 1:00:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hugos look through windows.

• 1:00:17SCRIBE_speaker_4

  He just, I-

• 1:00:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 1:00:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I don't know why he keyed the car.

• 1:00:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 1:00:20SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I think it was just to feel something.

• 1:00:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dominance.

• 1:00:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:00:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, he was b- Hugo came from a pretty tough household.

• 1:00:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  For sure.

• 1:00:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Hugo was definitely abused, and this was his way to lash-

• 1:00:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Did your dad catch him k- key it?

• 1:00:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  He didn't, like... I don't know if he... I don't remember if he saw. He definitely didn't see it, but I, he knew it was Hugo.

• 1:00:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How'd he know it was Hugo?

• 1:00:38SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I think, I don't know-

• 1:00:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He wrote Hugo in the side of the car.

• 1:00:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hugo was here.

• 1:00:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta ask, I gotta ask my parents about, about that, because it's one of those things that's a very vague memory.

• 1:00:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I see.

• 1:00:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I just remember Hugo keyed my dad's car. And my-

• 1:00:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Did you rat Hugo out?

• 1:00:56SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, no.

• 1:00:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh.

• 1:00:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can't.

• 1:00:57SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh, ooh, ooh.

• 1:00:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Maybe he did.

• 1:00:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know. Yeah, maybe you did.

• 1:01:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I don't know. If I did, f- Definitely the right move.

• 1:01:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 1:01:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's the right move.

• 1:01:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But, you, you keyed my dad's car.

• 1:01:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:01:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Wow, you told my... You told your dad on me? It's like, okay, you fucking keyed his car.

• 1:01:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. Can I just say something about keying cars?

• 1:01:15SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right?

• 1:01:16SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Under you.

• 1:01:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And you whites, and I'm gonna- You whites. I'm sorry.

• 1:01:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Go ahead.

• 1:01:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right.

• 1:01:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're outnumbered here, pal.

• 1:01:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I know.

• 1:01:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Buddy.

• 1:01:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But I will, I will stand my fucking point.

• 1:01:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Go ahead.

• 1:01:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Who cares?

• 1:01:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Key the car... 'Cause, it's just so mean. Why?

• 1:01:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It- I key cars every day. It's fine. It, what, it, does the car work?

• 1:01:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh-huh.

• 1:01:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Does the door open?

• 1:01:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So you're saying you walk outside right now, and someone ts, ts, ts, keyed your car, you wouldn't, you would fix that?

• 1:01:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. All right, all right. So guys, answer that question for me. If somebody keyed my car right now, would I care?

• 1:01:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You wouldn't notice.

• 1:01:52SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You would never fix it.

• 1:01:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He wouldn't notice. He wouldn't know it's there. His car-

• 1:01:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And also, do I care?

• 1:01:56SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No.

• 1:01:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:01:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 1:01:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  His cars are always beat to shit.

• 1:01:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay.

• 1:01:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But the, the key-

• 1:02:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  My theory is if it runs-

• 1:02:03SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh-huh

• 1:02:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... it's fine. Now, if he took an engine. Let's say Hugo took the engine. Right? Then I'd be like, "Hey, Hugo took your engine, Dad."

• 1:02:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's a big deal.

• 1:02:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's a big deal.

• 1:02:13SCRIBE_speaker_4

  This is Gone Too Far.

• 1:02:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. The wheels are all gone.

• 1:02:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a big deal.

• 1:02:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, it's a big deal.

• 1:02:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:02:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But as long as the car moves, you can open doors, right?

• 1:02:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And everything else, a little key, that's fine.

• 1:02:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's a car guy.

• 1:02:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm a car guy.

• 1:02:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's a big car guy.

• 1:02:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. It, 'cause the whole point of a car is to get from A to B, no?

• 1:02:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Right.

• 1:02:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Jimmy.

• 1:02:32SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah. No, it is.

• 1:02:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I- am I making a point for you or no?

• 1:02:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You, you are. It's a valid point.

• 1:02:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right. Can I key your car after the show?

• 1:02:40SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'd rather you didn't.

• 1:02:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

• 1:02:43SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:02:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right.

• 1:02:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Valid idea, though. Also, this is why now a lot of new cars tell, have their, there's no physical key.

• 1:02:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm.

• 1:02:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's why they put them in, like, little things, or it's keyless now.

• 1:02:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I, I have a hunting knife.

• 1:02:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You just, oh, it's attached to your keychain.

• 1:02:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, it's a ke- yeah, yeah. I have a Klingon hunting knife.

• 1:02:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Woo.

• 1:02:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I like it.

• 1:02:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Thank God.

• 1:03:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  For a second, I thought you wouldn't be able to-

• 1:03:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I was worried.

• 1:03:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Where are my keys? I do have a ac-

• 1:03:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He does have a knife on his-

• 1:03:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah

• 1:03:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and he has a key.

• 1:03:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- yeah, I have one of those.

• 1:03:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. He just carries a psy around.

• 1:03:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:12SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And they're like, "Sir, you have five packs of sardines and a hunting knife." "And no clothes."

• 1:03:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Am I being detained?

• 1:03:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If a dog pooped on your driveway-

• 1:03:23SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yes

• 1:03:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... that's not your dog-

• 1:03:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yes

• 1:03:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... would you get angry?

• 1:03:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Well, it's funny you ask. This just happened maybe two weeks ago.

• 1:03:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Amen.

• 1:03:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I-

• 1:03:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Tell your story. It was your dog.

• 1:03:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I was pissed.

• 1:03:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:03:35SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I w- I, my neighbor texts me, neighbor Dave, and he's like, "Yo, one of the neighbors just left a massive shit in your driveway." And it's like, I mean, this was, this was a big one. And it's like right at the-

• 1:03:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dog must've been fasting

• 1:03:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... right at the bottom. Right at the bottom of the driveway, you know?

• 1:03:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:03:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And, uh, and so I look at the cameras, and I see the, I see the girl.

• 1:03:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh.

• 1:03:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I see her just let the dog take a shit. She's, she's, like, on her phone, watches it happen, and then just keeps going. And I was like, I, I, for a second, I, I w- my neighbor was like, he's like, "You won't print that out and put it around and say, 'This girl's leaving shits.'"

• 1:04:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I thought about it. And then my fiancee was like, "Definitely don't do that." And I was like, "Okay, I won't do that."

• 1:04:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm.

• 1:04:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But I was planning on, if I saw her, being like, "You got bags on you?"

• 1:04:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:31SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And if she said, "Yeah," I'd say, "Make sure you're using them."

• 1:04:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'd go, "Come here. I gotta, I gotta, you, help you clean something up."

• 1:04:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:04:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause Bobby's been on the other side of this. Bobby has had a-

• 1:04:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no. Just little-

• 1:04:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bobby's had a flier made

• 1:04:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... under. No, go to images. Go to-

• 1:04:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bobby's had a flier made.

• 1:04:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No.

• 1:04:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Someone in his apartment complex.

• 1:04:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No.

• 1:04:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, so what does it read there?

• 1:04:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "Hi. I'm Bobby Lee. I have a couple of dogs. They look like-"

• 1:04:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like rats

• 1:04:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "... rats, and they bite."

• 1:04:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 1:04:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "I don't clean u- I don't clean up after them, uh-"

• 1:04:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ever

• 1:05:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... if m- ever. Uh, my-

• 1:05:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They defecate on my property

• 1:05:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... they defecate on my property.

• 1:05:04SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Wow.

• 1:05:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So someone made this in his old apartment complex.

• 1:05:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No way.

• 1:05:07SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, yeah. "Let my dogs defecate on your property." "If you feel as though I owe you money or an apology, you know where to find me, uh-"

• 1:05:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Bobby Lee

• 1:05:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... Bobby Lee.

• 1:05:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So I, it, I'm on Bobby Lee Live, and then m- my podcast, Tiger Belly, and Colla- yeah, and-

• 1:05:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And his ex-girlfriend

• 1:05:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... and my ex-girlfriend, yeah.

• 1:05:24SCRIBE_speaker_3

  The address was right there.

• 1:05:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The address was there, too.

• 1:05:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I mean, they p- they plugged all your, all your accounts.

• 1:05:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was nice.

• 1:05:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Number one.

• 1:05:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was a shout-out.

• 1:05:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So what happened was-

• 1:05:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Put some tour dates on there

• 1:05:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... what, what, what happened was- ... Jimmy, is this person took fliers, put them all over the neighborhood-

• 1:05:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah

• 1:05:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... in front of cars, and guess what I did? I took the flier, I made them into T-shirts, and I made money off of it.

• 1:05:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Really?

• 1:05:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:05:46SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh.

• 1:05:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And they sold out.

• 1:05:47SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You made... I was gonna say, it's kind of a fire shirt.

• 1:05:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I made the, the T-shirts off of it. It's under Tiger Belly, my podcast.

• 1:05:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:05:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? And this is w- what my belief is, right? You should be allowed.

• 1:05:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What?

• 1:05:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pooping on people's lawns.

• 1:06:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He thinks you shouldn't have to clean up dog shit.

• 1:06:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh.

• 1:06:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's natural.

• 1:06:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Now, you and I feel the exact same about it.

• 1:06:08SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay.

• 1:06:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So hold nothing back.

• 1:06:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Okay. Yeah, I know. I, I don't feel the same. I feel more closely to, you have a, you have a whole scene about this in Dave.

• 1:06:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, we do a whole poop scene about that. That's exactly right.

• 1:06:19SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And you're mad about them putting it in the, in your trash can.

• 1:06:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:06:23SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Which also, I actually, I'm like, look, if you put it in my trash can, it is what it is. I get it.

• 1:06:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't care about that.

• 1:06:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But don't put it in my recycling. That's when-

• 1:06:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No

• 1:06:32SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... that's when I get mad.

• 1:06:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Put it in the right place.

• 1:06:33SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I'm like, at least put it in the black one.

• 1:06:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:06:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You know?

• 1:06:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Put it in the black one.

• 1:06:39SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Put it in the black one, always.

• 1:06:41SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah. Give them your shit.

• 1:06:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Interesting. Interesting stuff.

• 1:06:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  This is hilarious, because I'm over here thinking I had this unique idea to put this on a flier. Like I'm gonna print, print out my security camera footage of this girl, and here you are.

• 1:06:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm gonna shit on your driveway.

• 1:06:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  On a flier.

• 1:06:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I want you to take a photograph. I'm gonna shit right in your fucking driveway, Jimmy.

• 1:07:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Wow.

• 1:07:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right?

• 1:07:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Get the publicist in here.

• 1:07:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And you make the shirt.

• 1:07:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Show, give us his address.

• 1:07:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, get the publicist in there.

• 1:07:06SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And we see you have, like, small dogs, right? Is that-

• 1:07:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I'm gonna shit.

• 1:07:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  It said, but it said they're, like, rat-like.

• 1:07:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, they're small.

• 1:07:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They are tiny dogs.

• 1:07:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  One of them just died. In his rat way.

• 1:07:16SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Well.

• 1:07:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:17SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Shouldn't have been shitting.

• 1:07:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, he was murdered.

• 1:07:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He was murdered.

• 1:07:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. All- all right. Yeah, a- and we can agree to disagree.

• 1:07:25SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I didn't say he had it coming, but, you know.

• 1:07:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I- I... Okay, we can agree to disagree. But yeah, that exactly thing happened.

• 1:07:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I do love it.

• 1:07:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, it was like a Bernese Mountain Doodle, you know? The big-

• 1:07:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Huge shit.

• 1:07:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:07:34SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Huge.

• 1:07:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Mine are little ones.

• 1:07:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Gotta clean them up. Takes no, takes no time. It's easy.

• 1:07:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay. Well, you know, because if it's on f- grass, fertilizer.

• 1:07:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's not, though.

• 1:07:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's not?

• 1:07:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's not how it works.

• 1:07:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Poo is not fertilizer?

• 1:07:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh-

• 1:07:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  It- it is all poo f- fertilizer, though?

• 1:07:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not all poo. Not all poo.

• 1:07:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is all poo fertilizer?

• 1:07:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How, how poo-

• 1:07:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So, so you let it poo, and then you kind of rub it in?

• 1:07:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I exactly do that.

• 1:07:57SCRIBE_speaker_4

  You smear it?

• 1:07:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm a nature guy.

• 1:07:59SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not all-

• 1:07:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No

• 1:07:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... poop is fertilizer. Feces are rich in plant nutrients, like nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. Raw waste contains harmful pathogens, bacteria, and parasites.

• 1:08:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ah.

• 1:08:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Safely broken down through-

• 1:08:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  This is human.

• 1:08:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, any, any poop. Any poop needs to be composted specialized-

• 1:08:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  This is raw human waste.

• 1:08:13SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No, there's dogs that-

• 1:08:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dogs

• 1:08:14SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... poop with parasites in.

• 1:08:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dogs, cats, pigs carry parasites.

• 1:08:16SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But-

• 1:08:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pose serious health risks to humans.

• 1:08:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, I'm sorry then. I, I, I didn't realize. I didn't realize.

• 1:08:21SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That changes everything.

• 1:08:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That changes everything for me. I don't want parasites to be spread around.

• 1:08:24SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:08:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If they have it, but also it needs to be treated.

• 1:08:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're right. You know what? Everyone listening right now, I apologize. I, I, I... Well-

• 1:08:31SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I, I had a buddy that was like, he was like, "Yeah," like he has this massive dog. And he was like, "Yeah, sometimes like I won't bring enough bags and, and the dog will shit multiple times and I'll have to just like barehand it."

• 1:08:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What?

• 1:08:41SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And I was like-

• 1:08:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No

• 1:08:42SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... "All right"

• 1:08:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... no, no, no, no.

• 1:08:43SCRIBE_speaker_4

  "I'm sorry." Barehanded? Like there's no world where that's, that's-

• 1:08:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Barehand shit?

• 1:08:49SCRIBE_speaker_4

  He said he barehanded it.

• 1:08:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 1:08:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  And, and I was like, "That is..."

• 1:08:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, you don't barehand it.

• 1:08:54SCRIBE_speaker_4

  No. If, if it-

• 1:08:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And here's my excuse. I didn't have... Sometimes I forget the bags.

• 1:08:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, he, he forgot the bags deliberately.

• 1:09:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 1:09:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  When, when out.

• 1:09:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's not true.

• 1:09:02SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Sometimes I have the bags.

• 1:09:03SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, now I have a backyard, Jimmy.

• 1:09:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a-

• 1:09:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay?

• 1:09:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... it's poop. It's all poo.

• 1:09:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's all poo.

• 1:09:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah.

• 1:09:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Right? And I have a pool and poo.

• 1:09:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a pool and poo.

• 1:09:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a swimming pool and a poo, and when my girlfriend and I go lay out-

• 1:09:18SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah

• 1:09:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... in the backyard, we have to angle our chairs around the poo.

• 1:09:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. And I have fake grass. So you do the math.

• 1:09:26SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Oh.

• 1:09:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You do the math. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:31SCRIBE_speaker_4

  So you, all this time you thought you'd been fertilizing your fake grass?

• 1:09:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 1:09:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:09:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I thought so. Yeah. Apparently it's fake.

• 1:09:37SCRIBE_speaker_4

  But, but everything just changed for you today?

• 1:09:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, not really.

• 1:09:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:09:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't care.

• 1:09:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This will be the same.

• 1:09:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Literally nothing will change.

• 1:09:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But Jimmy, when does your show come out?

• 1:09:44SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Uh, Ju-

• 1:09:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's out

• 1:09:45SCRIBE_speaker_4

  ... July 16th.

• 1:09:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's out right now.

• 1:09:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's out now. So go check out Jimmy's show.

• 1:09:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Please go watch The Hawk right now on Netflix.

• 1:09:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The Hawk on Netflix.

• 1:09:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Starring not only Molly Shannon and not only-

• 1:09:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Luke Wilson

• 1:09:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... Luke Wilson, and not only Will Ferrell, but our beloved, uh, Jimmy Tatro, one of the most funny, cool dudes that-

• 1:10:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yep

• 1:10:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... I've gotten the pleasure to know.

• 1:10:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  At the very least, I want to play golf with you outside of that show. I don't even need to be on the show. We gotta go play some golf.

• 1:10:09SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Yeah, we should play some golf.

• 1:10:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:10:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We gotta go fart around.

• 1:10:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll, I'll caddy.

• 1:10:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He'll caddy.

• 1:10:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll be the-

• 1:10:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He caddied. He caddied for, uh-

• 1:10:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll be the fourth and fifth sir

• 1:10:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... me, him, and f- uh, Bryson DeChambeau. He caddied for us.

• 1:10:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Did, did you do that?

• 1:10:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Me and Bryson, me, Bryson, and Bobby did a little, a thing the other week.

• 1:10:22SCRIBE_speaker_4

  How did you play?

• 1:10:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We just shot like a one-hole walk and talk thing, but we're gonna do it at, we're gonna do with Bryson soon, right?

• 1:10:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:10:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  When do we want to do that? In-

• 1:10:29SCRIBE_speaker_4

  The breaking 50?

• 1:10:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think so, yeah. In September.

• 1:10:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I'm not doing that.

• 1:10:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Come on, man.

• 1:10:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm out.

• 1:10:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Please?

• 1:10:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 1:10:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why?

• 1:10:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't want to do any of that anymore.

• 1:10:35SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What's your-

• 1:10:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I did it one time.

• 1:10:36SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What's your, what's your handicap?

• 1:10:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm a 2.0 index.

• 1:10:41SCRIBE_speaker_4

  What is index? Is that under?

• 1:10:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No. Index just means like, uh, it's like an aggregate. It's on the app. So any given course, probably four or five, something like that for a handicap.

• 1:10:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 1:10:50SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Jesus.

• 1:10:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, something around there.

• 1:10:51SCRIBE_speaker_4

  That's insane.

• 1:10:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Did you have fun here, Jim?

• 1:10:53SCRIBE_speaker_4

  I did, yeah.

• 1:10:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good.

• 1:10:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Please go watch his show.

• 1:10:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Go watch his show, um-

• 1:10:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right now on Netflix

• 1:10:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... can you look in that ca- camera, Jimmy, and say thank you for being a bad friend?

• 1:11:00SCRIBE_speaker_4

  Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:11:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yay.

• 1:11:26SCRIBE_speaker_0

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