Bobbychella & The King's Fool

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Acorns & Hims • Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/badfriends or download the Acorns app to get started. • Hims: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BADFRIENDS. YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bobbychella 5:00 Grand Madonna 10:00 Stay Hydrated 15:00 The Carlos Bible 21:30 1:00 A. M. in the Desert 26:00 How to Spot a Professional 33:00 Carlos Goes Full Navy SEAL 38:00 The Fool's King 45:00 Bowser's Castle in Malibu 50:00 You're My Queen 55:00 Standard White Clothing 1:02:00 Do Not Disturb 1:06:00 Xbox Tips More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:29Andrew Santino?

  Hey, bad friends! I am going to be in San Diego, Bobby's hometown, on June 28th at The Sound in Del Mar, North County. Come on out, dude. Take a break from the water and the sun, San Diego. Come see me at The Sound, June 28th. Two shows, early show and a late show, June 28th. Then July 24th, I'm gonna be in St. Charles, Missouri. Basically, St. Louis, right next door. Next-door neighbors, come out and see me at the Ameristar Casino, St. Charles, St. Louis, Missouri. That's July 24th. June 28th in San Diego. Come out and see me. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. andrewsantino.com.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  You two are bad friends!

• 1:04Speaker 03

  Who are these two idiots?

• 1:06Speaker 02

  A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Oh, you two are something.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  We're bad friends.

• 1:15Andrew Santino?

  Peedy, peedy, peedy, peedy, peedy.

• 1:17Bobby Lee?

  Peedy, peedy, peedy, peedy, peedy, de peedy, peed.

• 1:20Andrew Santino?

  Peed, peed, peed, peed, peed.

• 1:22Bobby Lee?

  Average white.

• 1:23Andrew Santino?

  Peed, peed, peed.

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  Average white.

• 1:28Andrew Santino?

  Normal white guy, normal white guy.

• 1:30Bobby Lee?

  Normal white guy, pieces of Texas. Right?

• 1:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 1:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you like it?

• 1:36Andrew Santino?

  Look who's back.

• 1:37Bobby Lee?

  You still buying beef at the store?

• 1:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, beef pie.

• 1:39Bobby Lee?

  20% up.

• 1:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:42Bobby Lee?

  You eating the beef, huh?

• 1:43Andrew Santino?

  I'm eating the beef.

• 1:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what else? What about gas?

• 1:47Andrew Santino?

  Gas, uh, the lowest grade, gas.

• 1:49Bobby Lee?

  You get the low grade?

• 1:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:50Bobby Lee?

  I get the supreme. Anyway.

• 1:51Andrew Santino?

  That's just with, that's gas with tomatoes and sour cream.

• 1:54Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. They're working, it's like a baked potato.

• 1:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:57Bobby Lee?

  Have you got a colonoscopy?

• 1:59Andrew Santino?

  I haven't.

• 2:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I just got mine last week.

• 2:02Andrew Santino?

  Let's bring up the results.

• 2:04Bobby Lee?

  No, I can just tell you the results.

• 2:05Andrew Santino?

  It was awesome. The phone call made me happy.

• 2:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:07Andrew Santino?

  Zero polyps, zero.

• 2:08Bobby Lee?

  No, no polyps, no cancer. They did find a fingernail.

• 2:14Bobby Lee?

  Apparently my ass was like a well from the Silence of the Lambs. Things are crawling out of it, you know what I mean? I think my poop has claws, because they're just crawling out.

• 2:23Andrew Santino?

  Something's gotta be in there.

• 2:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they found a fingernail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a little bit of AIDS, but um... You can't put that in there. They tested it, it's pure.

• 2:34Andrew Santino?

  And this is back from Coachella. Bobby Lee and Carlos Herrera went out to the desert. They were at Coachella, they were ripping it up, dude. TMZ reported on it.

• 2:43Bobby Lee?

  Well, ripping it up is, um, I'll tell you what happened. And I, may I show you my Coachella experience? I'd never been before.

• 2:51Andrew Santino?

  That's why I intro'd it.

• 2:52Speaker 05

  He was showing off his wristband.

• 2:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow. Is this hot shot with the new wristband?

• 2:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:58Speaker 05

  It's kinda like rude.

• 2:59Andrew Santino?

  Start it over.

• 2:59Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead, go ahead.

• 3:02Andrew Santino?

  Asshole?

• 3:03Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 3:06Andrew Santino?

  They tag you now?

• 3:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, asshole.

• 3:08Andrew Santino?

  You're an asshole?

• 3:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, arrogant asshole.

• 3:10Andrew Santino?

  What section of Coachella are you in?

• 3:11Bobby Lee?

  They're missing an A.

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  Hey, what's up, dude? What section are you in? Asshole!

• 3:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sick, dog. I'm in douchebag.

• 3:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's artist. That's artist.

• 3:20Andrew Santino?

  So whose artist pass was it?

• 3:22Bobby Lee?

  Mine.

• 3:24Andrew Santino?

  What artist gave you an artist pass?

• 3:26Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'll be honest with you, we know a guy, you know, should we say his name?

• 3:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  And he's a pure white. Um, he's a, um, what I like to call a forever white.

• 3:39Andrew Santino?

  Like me?

• 3:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're forever white, bro. Like, you guys are the good ones.

• 3:43Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 3:43Bobby Lee?

  I mean, Pete, I would put you in that category.

• 3:46Andrew Santino?

  What about McCone?

• 3:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, not really. Because he can turn on a dime.

• 3:50Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 3:50Bobby Lee?

  And his allegiance is, I don't know who his allegiance is to.

• 3:53Andrew Santino?

  He is such a fence sitter, we don't know where.

• 3:57Bobby Lee?

  We don't know where he is, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's sort of like Pakistan.

• 4:00Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 4:01Andrew Santino?

  Who are you with?

• 4:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, we're gonna negotiate! We're doing the negotiations, right? But what? What's really going on here?

• 4:09Andrew Santino?

  Pakistan is great!

• 4:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, so we, um...

• 4:15Bobby Lee?

  He really hooked us up, this guy Cole. He's such a nice guy. I hugged him a thousand times. I was so grateful that, you know what I mean, we were able to go and um.

• 4:24Andrew Santino?

  Who's the gentleman you're referring to?

• 4:26Bobby Lee?

  Cole, he's the guy.

• 4:27Speaker 05

  Director.

• 4:27Bobby Lee?

  He's the director of the whole festival.

• 4:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh, cool.

• 4:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, really cool guy. Um, um, he looked after us and um, we, the only show I saw, I thought, I saw two shows.

• 4:38Speaker 05

  And you saw three, you were miserable at one.

• 4:40Bobby Lee?

  I barely saw one.

• 4:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, who was the third?

• 4:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so the, the first, I, I say two, Sabrina Carpenter. Let, let me tell you something about Sabrina Carpenter.

• 4:49Andrew Santino?

  Fill me in.

• 4:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I will. Um, she's um, a good performer.

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:55Bobby Lee?

  Pretty.

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Uh, she gave it her all.

• 4:57Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:58Bobby Lee?

  Uh-huh. Um, I had rathered been in an ICE detention center.

• 5:04Bobby Lee?

  I, I'd rather been in a Japanese internment camp. Um, it was pure painful until, that's me. Until Grandma Donna came out. And when Grandma Donna came out, I was so excited.

• 5:19Andrew Santino?

  Grandma Madonna?

• 5:20Bobby Lee?

  Grandma Donna. Madonna came out, but the grand version.

• 5:23Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:24Bobby Lee?

  Old Madonna.

• 5:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:27Andrew Santino?

  Grandma Madonna.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Grandma Madonna.

• 5:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Grandma, Grandma Madonna.

• 5:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Grandma Madonna.

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  Grandma Madonna.

• 5:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she did Vogue and went, you know what I mean?

• 5:35Andrew Santino?

  Come on.

• 5:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:37Andrew Santino?

  Let your body move with the music.

• 5:40Bobby Lee?

  She's a po- strike a pose. And when she struck a pose, she, she had her fucking walking.

• 5:45Andrew Santino?

  Her, her walker?

• 5:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, her walker. It was incredible. Well, strike a po- you know what I mean? And, and she was doing that, right? She was doing a lot of leaning against, you know what I mean, objects.

• 5:55Andrew Santino?

  I heard Madonna's tour bus pulled up into the handicap parking spot.

• 6:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:01Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  But she was incredible.

• 6:02Andrew Santino?

  Was she a surprise guest?

• 6:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. We heard, so, you know, I'm watching us, I, I, here's another weird thing, is when you've never heard of the music. I kept calling her what Karen Carpenter.

• 6:13Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because I kept messing up the names.

• 6:17Andrew Santino?

  Karen Carpenter is a good performer.

• 6:19Bobby Lee?

  Look at the set, right?

• 6:21Andrew Santino?

  She was good.

• 6:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Karen Carpenter was so good.

• 6:24Andrew Santino?

  Great musician.

• 6:24Bobby Lee?

  You barely see her. She's so skinny.

• 6:26Andrew Santino?

  So this is Sabrina Carpenter.

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  Sabrina Carpenter, she's killing it onstage. But when you haven't heard the music before, like not a single, have you heard of the music before?

• 6:35Speaker 05

  No, I didn't know any.

• 6:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I kept calling, looking at Carlos and the girls, me, Jewel, Issa are going crazy. Like saying the words, you know, "Espresso."

• 6:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, "Espresso."

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's her song.

• 6:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, is it? How does it go?

• 6:52Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 6:52Andrew Santino?

  Espresso.

• 6:53Bobby Lee?

  Espresso.

• 6:54Andrew Santino?

  Get me an espresso. Hey, hey, hey, why don't you get me an espresso? Let me do the lyrics and see if I can get this.

• 7:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, see if you can do it.

• 7:04Andrew Santino?

  Now he's thinking bout me every night. Oh, isn't that sweet? I guess so. Say you can't sleep, baby, I know. That's me, espresso.

• 7:14Bobby Lee?

  Can you zoom it in? Maybe try me doing the lyric here.

• 7:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let's hear it.

• 7:17Bobby Lee?

  Move it up, down, left, right, on, switch up like Nintendo. Say you can't sleep, baby, I know. That's me, espresso.

• 7:29Andrew Santino?

  I can't relate to desperation. My give a fucks are on vacation. And I got this one boy, he won't stop calling when they act this way. I know I got him. Wait a minute, timeout.

• 7:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:38Andrew Santino?

  I can't relate to desperation. My give a fucks are on vacation, clean. And I got this one boy, he won't stop calling. When they act this way, you know I got him. No, and I don't like that.

• 7:49Bobby Lee?

  I don't like it either.

• 7:50Andrew Santino?

  Too bad for your ex, don't do it for ya. Walked in a dream came true'd it for ya. Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya. Yes, I know.

• 7:57Bobby Lee?

  I'm do it for ya.

• 7:58Andrew Santino?

  Yes, that morning coffee brewed it for ya. Yes, that one touch brand I knew'd it for ya. Now he's thinking bout me every night. Isn't that sweet? Guess you can't sleep, you know that's me.

• 8:07Bobby Lee?

  That's not how it goes. No, yeah, yeah, it was much slower.

• 8:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, it should have been faster.

• 8:13Bobby Lee?

  If all the songs were faster, it'd be like a 15-minute set. Oh, you lied. I turned to Carlos, I go, how long is this? He goes, 45 minutes.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  Her set?

• 8:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:23Andrew Santino?

  That is an hour, right?

• 8:23Bobby Lee?

  An hour and a half in, I looked at him and go, you're a fucking liar.

• 8:27Speaker 05

  It's because The Strokes didn't play long last week, so I assumed it would be the same amount of time.

• 8:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, but when Grandma Madonna, Grandma Madonna came out, it was exciting because she did Vogue, Just Like a Prayer with Karen Carpenter, and it was like,

• 8:41Andrew Santino?

  Just Like a Prayer is one of my favorite songs.

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it was like, then I got goosebumps.

• 8:45Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 8:46Bobby Lee?

  Right, and I was, oh, fuck, you know, this is incredible. But then, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's too many people, man.

• 8:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh my, well, in our area.

• 8:56Andrew Santino?

  You were in the VIP, yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 05

  He was by the trailers, like, Snoop Dogg walked by him, and he was just like laying back, getting recognized.

• 9:03Andrew Santino?

  Snoop walked by, high as a kite.

• 9:04Bobby Lee?

  Well, you're sitting next to a guy, you know, you're talking for a while, and I go, what do you do? He's like, oh, I'm in The Suicidal Tendencies.

• 9:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, really?

• 9:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, like, it was that kind of vibe, you know what I mean? And then, so then, The Strokes came on the second night.

• 9:17Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 9:18Bobby Lee?

  And that was fun.

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  They're, they're good.

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  They were good, and then I turned to Jules, Issa, and this kid, Kua.

• 9:25Andrew Santino?

  They do not know who The Strokes are.

• 9:29Speaker 05

  Easter Island.

• 9:31Bobby Lee?

  They have no idea what's going on.

• 9:33Andrew Santino?

  Well, they don't know The Strokes, right?

• 9:34Bobby Lee?

  They don't know, and also, when Madonna came out, Issa goes.

• 9:39Andrew Santino?

  When who came out?

• 9:40Bobby Lee?

  Madonna came out.

• 9:41Andrew Santino?

  Who?

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  Grandma Madonna came out, yeah.

• 9:43Andrew Santino?

  Grandma Madonna.

• 9:44Bobby Lee?

  Issa looked at Jules and goes, who is that? Which is crazy.

• 9:49Andrew Santino?

  It's weird to be in this, like, they're in a gap where that's too old, and The Strokes are not as old as Madonna, but not their style of music.

• 9:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:58Andrew Santino?

  So they're missing these two.

• 9:59Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 9:59Andrew Santino?

  That's kind of wild.

• 10:00Bobby Lee?

  Also, when you're the oldest guy in the whole place, it feels weird.

• 10:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you weren't.

• 10:05Bobby Lee?

  I know, I mean, you would see other, but they're working.

• 10:07Speaker 05

  It's like Rick Rubin and you.

• 10:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Rick Rubin, me, there's a guy with a camera that's like, I mean, been doing it for 40 years.

• 10:14Andrew Santino?

  You're in a class of your own.

• 10:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so then we, so we're sitting there in the YouTube area. It's lightly lit, and then, then we, the second level above us was literally The Manson Girls.

• 10:28Andrew Santino?

  You mean like Charles Manson's?

• 10:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do you remember in, uh, once upon a time in Hollywood, that girl that was hitchhiking?

• 10:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:35Bobby Lee?

  So there's three girls up there, they're wearing no shoes.

• 10:38Andrew Santino?

  Wait, Margaret Qualley was right?

• 10:40Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, it wasn't Margaret Qualley.

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I was like, that's amazing.

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not that, no, they were wearing no shoes.

• 10:45Andrew Santino?

  They were like hippie chicks at Spawn Run.

• 10:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and they're just like, yeah! Oh, and you, here's the most-

• 10:50Speaker 05

  That's cool, though.

• 10:50Bobby Lee?

  Here's the most, or, wh- wh- once I walked in, this is the most annoying, I knew I wasn't gonna have a good time. What, the lady at the, um, gate, she says to me, watch this, this would annoy you.

• 11:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:02Bobby Lee?

  I'm going through and she goes,

• 11:06Bobby Lee?

  "Stay hydrated!"

• 11:08Speaker 05

  Oh, God.

• 11:08Bobby Lee?

  Like, bitch, I know what water is.

• 11:13Bobby Lee?

  Like, I've been drinking water longer than you, I know about electrolytes, I know about the whole thing.

• 11:18Andrew Santino?

  To be fair.

• 11:19Bobby Lee?

  What, I don't look like I'm hydrated?

• 11:21Andrew Santino?

  You look quite dry.

• 11:23Bobby Lee?

  I do?

• 11:24Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 11:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:25Andrew Santino?

  You're a sober guy, she's speaking to the drug addicts that are there. That place is filled with people on drugs and, and drinking heavily, yes, most, you know how many times? How, Google how many people pass out or need medical help at a Coachella weekend? I guarantee you-

• 11:39Bobby Lee?

  We asked.

• 11:40Andrew Santino?

  I guarantee you it's in the hundreds of people. Because here's why, every year, something bad, people have, they pass out, people overdose.

• 11:48Bobby Lee?

  The weekend before, a lightbulb, a gigantic lightbulb this side fell on a person's head.

• 11:53Andrew Santino?

  I heard about that.

• 11:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:54Andrew Santino?

  That's crazy. Look at this. What does that say? Eighty walking, twenty-one, twenty-one, okay, eighty-four.

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  Amputees is what I heard?

• 12:03Andrew Santino?

  So last year, a hundred people had to get emergency services because they're either too high.

• 12:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:09Andrew Santino?

  They're not drinking water, which is why that woman is doing her job.

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:13Andrew Santino?

  And if she's doing her job, it'll go down again next year.

• 12:16Bobby Lee?

  It wasn't what she was saying, it's how she said it.

• 12:18Andrew Santino?

  You didn't like her, her vibe.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:20Andrew Santino?

  Drink water!

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  Not yet, like, stay hydrated!

• 12:26Andrew Santino?

  That would make me laugh, though.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  It made me laugh at first, but then it made me mad.

• 12:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you got it.

• 12:31Bobby Lee?

  Of like, you know what I mean? I know how water works.

• 12:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, lady, I know how water works.

• 12:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know how wa- you know how water works, right?

• 12:36Andrew Santino?

  I just found out. This stuff is fantastic.

• 12:38Bobby Lee?

  It's the best beverage on earth.

• 12:40Andrew Santino?

  It's the best beverage on earth.

• 12:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, but yeah.

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  So then you're backstage, the Manson girls are there.

• 12:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:46Andrew Santino?

  This is a big group, or did you guys split up? Were you and Jules and Issa, were they, did everyone go?

• 12:50Bobby Lee?

  At that point, it was me, the girl I was seeing, and Carlos. And behind us were three Manson girls, you know what I mean, with no shoes on. And they're just, you know what I mean, just doing things.

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  Vibing, dude.

• 13:01Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 13:02Bobby Lee?

  I know you liked it. That's when you said the other thing.

• 13:05Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but they were like, you know what I mean?

• 13:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and it's like, like, it's also, I know how much it costs to be there in that area.

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And they, you know, their feet are just dirt.

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  But you didn't have to pay for that area, they did. What you-

• 13:21Bobby Lee?

  So that's what I'm saying, it's like, here's, um, so I was in the artist area and there was three blokes. They're from England.

• 13:28Andrew Santino?

  Hello, mate.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Hello, mate, right? And I go, "Oh, you're Baba Lee, hi?" And I go, "Yeah," and they're like, I go, "What do you guys do?" You know what I mean? "We're investors."

• 13:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, we're finance investors.

• 13:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Bobby Lee?

  And so you realize, it's just all rich people.

• 13:42Andrew Santino?

  Old money. We've got, we've got really old money.

• 13:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, really go, yeah. And then you realize, when you're there, in front of a sea of people. And you go, in your mind, you're trying to have a good time.

• 13:54Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:55Bobby Lee?

  But in your mind,

• 13:58Bobby Lee?

  "We're in a war!"

• 14:02Bobby Lee?

  Would you ever go?

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  To Coachella?

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:04Andrew Santino?

  I, I told you, I think, I, I went to like the fifth or sixth one.

• 14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:08Andrew Santino?

  Ever?

• 14:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:09Andrew Santino?

  And I've never been back.

• 14:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:11Andrew Santino?

  I went to it and I was like, this is, you know me. That is my nightmare.

• 14:15Bobby Lee?

  You know me, that's my nightmare.

• 14:17Andrew Santino?

  Thousands of people, like, I can't do that. I, I, but you know, but you're different in the fact that like, you can enjoy, you can enjoy like the scene with, with, with the family. You can, with the girls.

• 14:28Bobby Lee?

  Was I enjoying?

• 14:29Speaker 05

  You eventually did, yeah, you found like good in it.

• 14:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:32Andrew Santino?

  I can go to one show. If it's a one band I want to see.

• 14:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 14:37Andrew Santino?

  I can't do-

• 14:38Bobby Lee?

  You can't sit through Karen Carpenter for-

• 14:40Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck, no.

• 14:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, for an hour and a half.

• 14:41Andrew Santino?

  Like a festival of Karen Carpenter?

• 14:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:44Andrew Santino?

  I can't do that. That gives me anxiety.

• 14:46Bobby Lee?

  I don't care.

• 14:46Andrew Santino?

  Where do you poop? Where do you poop?

• 14:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, in, it, it, they have nicer ones now.

• 14:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, they do?

• 14:50Bobby Lee?

  For the VIP, there's nicer ones. They look like, like maybe a Nobu bathroom.

• 14:56Bobby Lee?

  I went to Nobu.

• 14:56Andrew Santino?

  Was it Nobu at Coachella?

• 14:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'll, I'll tell you about my Nobu, but I wanted to say this.

• 15:00Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 15:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, the Nobu was one thing. Alright, so, so, I, I made a, I made a promise with myself, I'll never go back. I don't care about it.

• 15:09Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 15:09Bobby Lee?

  It depend, it, I don't care if it's the return of Jesus Christ, I'll go to hell. Whatever, yeah, return of Jesus Christ. Right, I ain't going.

• 15:18Andrew Santino?

  Would he play the main stage? They couldn't get Jesus on the main stage? They're like, look.

• 15:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Ariana Grande beats the numbers.

• 15:27Andrew Santino?

  Harry Styles is gonna get main stage.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  He's a stagecoach.

• 15:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:31Bobby Lee?

  That's so funny.

• 15:31Andrew Santino?

  Jesus is at Bonnaroo?

• 15:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I mean, they could do the return of the Beatles. Have George and John's bones up there, just, you know what I mean?

• 15:40Bobby Lee?

  I, I, I would not go. You know what I mean? I still would not go.

• 15:44Andrew Santino?

  Just Marionette.

• 15:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Marionette.

• 15:46Andrew Santino?

  When you're bitter, I'm bursting my head.

• 15:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:50Andrew Santino?

  Every point for you.

• 15:53Andrew Santino?

  That would be so funny to say.

• 15:56Bobby Lee?

  Taxman.

• 15:59Bobby Lee?

  You're the taxman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be so funny.

• 16:02Andrew Santino?

  You still wouldn't go.

• 16:03Bobby Lee?

  You wouldn't go.

• 16:03Andrew Santino?

  You would never go.

• 16:04Bobby Lee?

  I would never go back, right?

• 16:06Andrew Santino?

  It's terrible.

• 16:06Bobby Lee?

  To do the, the thing. So then Carlos says to me, he goes, "I got you Nobu."

• 16:13Andrew Santino?

  I go, "Where?"

• 16:14Bobby Lee?

  "At Coachella." And I go, "Oh, that's cool. Thank you." He's at seven o'clock.

• 16:19Speaker 05

  For my birthday, I got him Nobu.

• 16:21Andrew Santino?

  How did you do that?

• 16:22Bobby Lee?

  And for, for your birthday, I got you Coachella.

• 16:24Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 16:26Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? So I think that I won.

• 16:28Speaker 05

  It's not a contest.

• 16:30Bobby Lee?

  I know, but what you just said was...

• 16:31Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:33Andrew Santino?

  No, you did, you did do that.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  You, you just did do that.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  I'm a little edgy.

• 16:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:37Andrew Santino?

  Wait, why?

• 16:38Speaker 05

  Molly, eighteen...

• 16:39Bobby Lee?

  So, he gets me... Okay, I want to say this. And I'm going to narc on you.

• 16:46Andrew Santino?

  So first of all, you fucking lied because when I called you and we talked, I said, did you do any drugs at Coachella? And you said, no.

• 16:50Speaker 05

  I didn't consider molly a drug.

• 16:52Bobby Lee?

  It's not just drugs. It's not just, oh, I'm sorry. Can I interrupt? Can I interrupt?

• 16:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 16:57Bobby Lee?

  Can I interrupt?

• 16:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Bobby Lee?

  He comes out into the, because we air B and B the house.

• 17:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  He comes into the living room. I'm sorry. Happy birthday. He brings out a bible.

• 17:06Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 17:08Andrew Santino?

  While you're on molly?

• 17:10Bobby Lee?

  No, and he opens up the bible. It's not a bible. It's a drug pharmacy.

• 17:17Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, you still have the drug bible?

• 17:21Andrew Santino?

  That's insane.

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:23Andrew Santino?

  It's like a little travel case. His little bible.

• 17:25Speaker 05

  It has a lock on it.

• 17:26Andrew Santino?

  I know. Yeah. Oh, thanks. That's good.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  Dog and kid proof. That's why I brought it.

• 17:30Bobby Lee?

  Written Arab, Arabic. Still written Arabic, this fucking bible, right?

• 17:35Andrew Santino?

  Inshallah.

• 17:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and so, are you mad at that?

• 17:38Speaker 05

  No, it made Bieber so much fun.

• 17:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, so then, he makes me go to Nobu. Now, it sounds good.

• 17:45Andrew Santino?

  Nobu.

• 17:45Speaker 05

  Make you go to Nobu.

• 17:46Andrew Santino?

  Time, halt, stop, let him get it out. Where is the Nobu?

• 17:50Bobby Lee?

  Just in the middle of the festival.

• 17:51Andrew Santino?

  There's a Nobu in the grounds? Like they built a fucking Nobu?

• 17:55Bobby Lee?

  They built a Nobu in the grounds.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  What? That's crazy.

• 18:00Bobby Lee?

  But unfortunately, they built it, so you're on a patio outside, and literally 200 feet away is the stage of the EDM festival. Right? So you're eating, you're eating, you're eating sushi in an earthquake.

• 18:19Bobby Lee?

  It was the most unpleasant human experience.

• 18:25Bobby Lee?

  And I felt bad for the sushi chefs.

• 18:27Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:28Bobby Lee?

  Because you have to be there all day.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I bet they got paid handsomely.

• 18:32Bobby Lee?

  I hope so.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  I guarantee you, they made so much fucking money.

• 18:36Bobby Lee?

  Because they're there all day, listening to this.

• 18:40Speaker 05

  That's the view.

• 18:41Andrew Santino?

  I gotta tell you.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  That's the view, that's the stage, and that's not one speaker.

• 18:48Andrew Santino?

  That's all of the speakers.

• 18:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's the kind of speakers in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, they communicate it with aliens.

• 18:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:58Bobby Lee?

  I mean, that's that speaker, dude.

• 19:01Andrew Santino?

  Acorns.

• 19:02Bobby Lee?

  You know what? I wish I knew about investing earlier in my life.

• 19:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, me too.

• 19:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and Acorns is the thing. Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow.

• 19:11Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right, because here's the problem. People think, oh, you need a lot of money to start investing.

• 19:15Bobby Lee?

  You don't.

• 19:16Andrew Santino?

  No, you don't.

• 19:17Bobby Lee?

  You don't.

• 19:17Andrew Santino?

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• 19:31Bobby Lee?

  Acorns is all in one. No more finance apps cluttering up your phone. With Acorns, you can invest, save, and give your money a chance to grow in one trusted place.

• 19:41Andrew Santino?

  That's right. Acorns grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down, Acorns supports your big and small goals across every life stage. And I'm telling you, you do want to save because you don't know what's coming down the road ahead of you, or if you're looking for something that you want to buy that you've always had your eye on. Acorns helps you do that, giving your money a chance to grow. And you can adjust what you're investing every day, every week, every month, to make sure you're building towards those financial goals. Well, how big or small they may be, it doesn't matter.

• 20:06Bobby Lee?

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• 20:19Andrew Santino?

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• 21:03Andrew Santino?

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• 21:46Andrew Santino?

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• 21:52Speaker 00

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• 22:20Andrew Santino?

  I was in the desert. I was in Las Vegas.

• 22:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:23Andrew Santino?

  Viva Las Vegas. Interesting place. Interesting.

• 22:28Bobby Lee?

  I've been there.

• 22:30Andrew Santino?

  Like it?

• 22:32Bobby Lee?

  As if I've never been there.

• 22:33Andrew Santino?

  Do you like it?

• 22:35Bobby Lee?

  In what way?

• 22:36Andrew Santino?

  Exactly. In what way?

• 22:39Bobby Lee?

  Ditto.

• 22:39Andrew Santino?

  Exactly.

• 22:42Bobby Lee?

  Ditto to you, my friend.

• 22:43Andrew Santino?

  Every time I go to Vegas, this.

• 22:46Bobby Lee?

  Your face?

• 22:47Andrew Santino?

  So much smoke.

• 22:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:48Andrew Santino?

  I can't breathe, dude. Michelle Wie says hi, by the way.

• 22:51Bobby Lee?

  Who does?

• 22:52Andrew Santino?

  Michelle Wie.

• 22:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the athlete.

• 22:54Andrew Santino?

  Probably the greatest female golfer on earth. She loves you.

• 22:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:58Andrew Santino?

  Loves you. Oh, I wish Bobby would come to something like... Michelle Wie West, one of the best.

• 23:03Bobby Lee?

  And then when we were watching the Strokes, Josh Adam Myers walks by, like in the elite area.

• 23:08Andrew Santino?

  Do his voice.

• 23:09Bobby Lee?

  Well... Hey, I'm Josh Adam Myers. I don't know. And, you know, he's with the Strokes. You know what I mean? And I go, "Hey, Josh." She doesn't turn around. Texts me later, "Where are you?"

• 23:22Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you think he saw you and pretended to not see you?

• 23:24Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 23:24Andrew Santino?

  That's fucked up.

• 23:26Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 23:26Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, Bobby, I... Ooh!

• 23:28Bobby Lee?

  You saw him too, right?

• 23:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:30Andrew Santino?

  You think he did a thing where it's like...

• 23:32Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 23:33Speaker 05

  I love that move, though.

• 23:34Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 23:35Speaker 05

  I love that for him.

• 23:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because he's in a different class.

• 23:38Andrew Santino?

  What does that mean? What do you mean?

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he's with the band.

• 23:40Andrew Santino?

  You're with the band.

• 23:41Bobby Lee?

  No, I wasn't. I was back... We went back there to see them and I couldn't get to him.

• 23:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, he was looking for the Strokes.

• 23:49Bobby Lee?

  I was.

• 23:50Andrew Santino?

  And you couldn't get to it?

• 23:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 05

  We couldn't find him.

• 23:52Bobby Lee?

  We couldn't find him. Yeah, but there was, uh, we ran into that, um, comedian Megan.

• 23:58Speaker 05

  Stalter.

• 23:59Bobby Lee?

  Stalter, I said hi to her.

• 24:00Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Meg Stalter, yeah.

• 24:01Bobby Lee?

  Meg Stalter.

• 24:02Andrew Santino?

  So funny.

• 24:02Bobby Lee?

  And then I, we ran into, um.

• 24:04Speaker 05

  She's just like Minnie Mouse.

• 24:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:06Andrew Santino?

  She's funny.

• 24:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And this is one kid, we don't, still don't know who he is, but he had like, um, three, um, what do you call him? Carlos?

• 24:15Speaker 05

  Oh, like.

• 24:16Bobby Lee?

  Piercings on his right eye. And he was just kinda sweaty, he was like, "I just got offstage, the main stage," and we still don't know who it was.

• 24:22Andrew Santino?

  A comedian?

• 24:23Bobby Lee?

  No, he was a performer.

• 24:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh.

• 24:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:25Andrew Santino?

  There was no comedy at Coachella, right?

• 24:26Bobby Lee?

  Imagine.

• 24:28Andrew Santino?

  I mean, they could have, they could have a comedy tent and do very well, I bet.

• 24:31Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 24:32Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 24:32Speaker 05

  They've done that at other festivals, like.

• 24:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they do that, what do you mean?

• 24:35Bobby Lee?

  But you wouldn't, it wouldn't be our types of comedy. I, I looked at the demographic, there's just no way.

• 24:40Andrew Santino?

  Who would it be? Who would headline Coachella?

• 24:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay, oh, this is good, this is, this is good.

• 24:44Andrew Santino?

  I mean, first of all, Chappelle, Chappelle could easily do that.

• 24:46Bobby Lee?

  He could, but I'm talking about, it would be more, um.

• 24:50Andrew Santino?

  Like on the smaller tents?

• 24:51Bobby Lee?

  A smaller tent, more of a, I could see Moshe Kasher.

• 24:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 24:56Bobby Lee?

  These types, you know what I mean?

• 24:57Andrew Santino?

  East side, east side.

• 24:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, east side, more east side comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:00Andrew Santino?

  I get that.

• 25:01Bobby Lee?

  I could see, uh, David Cross doing well.

• 25:03Andrew Santino?

  No fucking way, he would never go out there.

• 25:06Bobby Lee?

  That's another, that's when I said that, I go, "I promise you this, I will not run into a sing, except for Meg, but she's an actress, right? I'll not run into a traditional stand-up comic here, ever. Cause it's just, imagine David Tell sitting there watching Karen Carpenter.

• 25:24Andrew Santino?

  No, but that's, but that's not true, there's, there, comics that are into psychedelics would absolutely go to that. There's a lot of comics that like music and psychedelics, and I'm sure there's a lot of guys that would go do that.

• 25:32Bobby Lee?

  I'm, I, I just, I never ran into one.

• 25:34Andrew Santino?

  I bet you there's way more than you thought were out there.

• 25:36Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 25:36Andrew Santino?

  I, I, I would assume that, like, yeah, no, not, you know.

• 25:40Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't see like a traditional.

• 25:42Andrew Santino?

  Not like Louis CK is not.

• 25:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's no way Louis is gonna be there watching, you know what I mean, Sabrina Carpenter.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  No, but there's some people that are, that, yeah, there's some drug, drug co- comics that like to get high and listen to music.

• 25:51Bobby Lee?

  Also, it, what, what, when did Bieber end?

• 25:55Speaker 05

  1 a.m.

• 25:55Bobby Lee?

  1 a.m. Imagine being out there at 1 a.m. in the desert.

• 26:00Speaker 05

  It was great.

• 26:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he loved it.

• 26:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm 54, my body couldn't do it.

• 26:03Andrew Santino?

  You gotta go home.

• 26:04Bobby Lee?

  I did the strokes, I did three hops, and then everything broke.

• 26:08Bobby Lee?

  Remember?

• 26:08Speaker 05

  He was hopping hard.

• 26:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I was hopping hard.

• 26:10Andrew Santino?

  I broke from the stroke.

• 26:14Bobby Lee?

  I mean, it, I couldn't bob anymore.

• 26:17Andrew Santino?

  You loved it though, because you were on MDMA.

• 26:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, I took it for Bieber. I didn't, yeah.

• 26:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 05

  I was at work.

• 26:22Bobby Lee?

  No, you were taking it all day long. I saw.

• 26:24Speaker 05

  No, those are mushrooms.

• 26:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 26:27Andrew Santino?

  So you were eating mushrooms all day and then took Molly at night for Bieber?

• 26:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was the warm up.

• 26:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was a warm up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:31Andrew Santino?

  And then he slept in the house with you?

• 26:33Bobby Lee?

  He slept in the door, nor, but I had to lock the door.

• 26:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was next to him.

• 26:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. He was literally right next to me. I had to lock the door.

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  How many, it was a lot of rooms?

• 26:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, there were a lot.

• 26:42Bobby Lee?

  Like 12 rooms?

• 26:43Andrew Santino?

  And you slept next to him?

• 26:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had to lock his door to my room.

• 26:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  Because I was with my friend and it's like, I didn't want him to walk in.

• 26:51Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 26:52Bobby Lee?

  Right? Because that would be.

• 26:53Andrew Santino?

  That'd be gross.

• 26:53Bobby Lee?

  Because then he would take his clothes off.

• 26:55Andrew Santino?

  100%.

• 26:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, and then try to ram it in me.

• 26:58Andrew Santino?

  I thought about you on the week, all weekend, because I was with a table of friends and one of my friend's girlfriends

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Andrew Santino?

  Didn't understand how I could pick out which of the girls on the floor of the casino were professionals.

• 27:08Speaker 05

  Oh, so easy.

• 27:09Andrew Santino?

  She's like, how do you know? I'm like, what? It's so clear. Like, it's so obvious what girls are out.

• 27:13Bobby Lee?

  Well, tell me the rules.

• 27:14Speaker 05

  What's the hottest one? Wear a nice shoe.

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  First of all, dead giveaway at any casino, you go to like the bar, there, if you're at a casino and you're not gambling.

• 27:22Bobby Lee?

  What casino?

• 27:24Andrew Santino?

  Any, every, all, every one.

• 27:26Bobby Lee?

  All center of the, because there's always a center bar.

• 27:29Andrew Santino?

  Well, there's always a bar that's near where the tables are, right? Whether people are paying $80 a drink, but you can get a drink for free if you just gamble.

• 27:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:36Andrew Santino?

  So it's the dumbest shit.

• 27:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:37Andrew Santino?

  So it's usually, uh, a single girl sitting alone, who's remarkably attractive, wearing a dress that's not even on her body.

• 27:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:45Andrew Santino?

  And she's on her phone the whole time.

• 27:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:47Andrew Santino?

  Right? And then she's waiting at the bar for, you know, old man McGillicuddy to sit down.

• 27:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:53Andrew Santino?

  Who's got a suit jacket. The old guys always have a suit jacket that are rich. They don't dress like us.

• 27:57Bobby Lee?

  I love old men.

• 27:58Andrew Santino?

  Old men are the best.

• 27:59Bobby Lee?

  No, middle, middle, call it, Cuddy?

• 28:01Andrew Santino?

  McGillicuddy?

• 28:04Andrew Santino?

  McGillicuddy.

• 28:05Bobby Lee?

  McGillicallit Cuddy?

• 28:06Andrew Santino?

  McGillicuddy.

• 28:07Bobby Lee?

  McGillicuddy.

• 28:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 28:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. And they're always alone. They always are alone. Because then what they do is.

• 28:14Bobby Lee?

  Old man McGillically?

• 28:15Andrew Santino?

  McGillically, he's not alone.

• 28:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he's not alone.

• 28:17Andrew Santino?

  He's with the guys.

• 28:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 28:18Andrew Santino?

  But the professional is alone.

• 28:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:20Andrew Santino?

  And then she chums it up, "Oh, my God, man, man, man, man," and then gives him the thought, "Oh, this is the," and she's like, "Who are you here with?" And he's with some, some friends. She's like, "Let me get some of my friends." And then you'll see the professionals start coming, like moth to a flame. A few other hot girls will some, somehow show up out of nowhere.

• 28:37Bobby Lee?

  Or lightbulb.

• 28:38Andrew Santino?

  And his older, what?

• 28:39Bobby Lee?

  Or lightbulb.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  Well, moth to a flame is the phrase, but yeah.

• 28:43Bobby Lee?

  I'm just any kind of source of light.

• 28:44Andrew Santino?

  Any kind of source of light.

• 28:47Andrew Santino?

  Incandescent.

• 28:47Bobby Lee?

  I want to be, yes.

• 28:48Andrew Santino?

  Incandescent, yeah. And they'll show up and then you'll just notice.

• 28:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:52Andrew Santino?

  Five very slovenly looking, middle of nowhere men.

• 28:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:57Andrew Santino?

  With three to five unbelievably attractive women.

• 29:01Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 29:01Andrew Santino?

  Wearing nothing, half of their age. And you're like, these guys are gonna get run on by these professionals.

• 29:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:07Andrew Santino?

  These girls are gonna take these guys. And we watched it happen like live. And my friend's girlfriend was like, how did you, how did you like call that? I was like, it's, it's so see-through. Why would that girl talk to that guy? Because he's got the cash, baby. Go to the high limit rooms?

• 29:21Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 29:21Andrew Santino?

  Always a professional walking around or sitting kind of waiting near it.

• 29:24Bobby Lee?

  I would have no idea.

• 29:26Andrew Santino?

  It's so obvious.

• 29:26Speaker 05

  We saw that in Vegas last time.

• 29:28Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 29:28Bobby Lee?

  I have no idea.

• 29:29Andrew Santino?

  It's so, you can pick them off from a mile away.

• 29:31Speaker 05

  It was very easy, yeah.

• 29:32Andrew Santino?

  It happened when we were, uh, where was I just, uh, oh, with Gillis.

• 29:35Bobby Lee?

  Cause my assumption would be like, oh, she's, her boyfriend's in the bathroom.

• 29:39Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 29:40Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Oh, she's just waiting for her boyfriend in the bathroom?

• 29:42Andrew Santino?

  You can always tell.

• 29:43Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 29:44Andrew Santino?

  You, it's just, there's a vibe that they're doing that you're like, they're, they're obviously waiting for their target. Like they're waiting for the target to arrive. If you walk up to her and, if guys walk up to her and flirt with her, which I'm sure they do, she probably fucks them off.

• 29:57Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 29:57Andrew Santino?

  Cause she's looking for the, she goes fishing. She's not looking to be caught. She's fishing.

• 30:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she's fishing.

• 30:04Andrew Santino?

  She's finding the idiot that she's looking to take down. So they find the guy.

• 30:07Bobby Lee?

  You, when you see, if you see all these things like target take down, what is going on here?

• 30:11Andrew Santino?

  They're all in the military.

• 30:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cause you're scaring me.

• 30:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, they work, they seriously work so, like, everything is strategy. You can just see the way they operate. It's all strategy, by the way, they, they operate with these guys. But you, we watched it happen and she was shocked. She like couldn't believe it. I was like, well, we saw it in Vegas together. It was, you, and then when I was with Gillis, same thing. We sit at the bar, me and DeRosa are sitting at the bar, having a cocktail.

• 30:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:34Andrew Santino?

  I'm about to go to bed, cause I play golf the next morning.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:36Andrew Santino?

  And this girl's sitting alone, and then she slowly is like, kind of leaning in on our conversation. And she zones in on DeRosa, and I slowly fade off into the background.

• 30:46Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 30:47Andrew Santino?

  And I can see it happening.

• 30:48Bobby Lee?

  You become a whisper.

• 30:49Andrew Santino?

  And I texted him, I said, Joe, don't do anything stupid.

• 30:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so, but what happens next?

• 30:56Andrew Santino?

  Then she does chats, who you hear, that are like a formal.

• 30:58Bobby Lee?

  Tell me the rules.

• 30:59Andrew Santino?

  Then he buys her a drink. He buys her a drink. You can do, then it's like, oh, let's have another, have another drink.

• 31:03Bobby Lee?

  How much is that?

• 31:03Andrew Santino?

  Do you wanna gamble? Well, I, I, I, drinks at those bars are like 25 bucks, probably. They're a ripoff.

• 31:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I don't drink, so.

• 31:09Andrew Santino?

  And then she goes, oh, I wanna go gamble. Do you wanna gam- oh my god, let's go gamble, just you and me. Separate him from the herd, right? This is how they kill their prey. They go, let's go gamble, you and me. So then they take him to a table. I, I, dude, I've seen it happen.

• 31:20Bobby Lee?

  I've seen it happen.

• 31:21Andrew Santino?

  And then they take him to a table, or they go, let's play slots, whatever, and it's like.

• 31:24Bobby Lee?

  So you can tell, this guy, this target, right?

• 31:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  You can call them the USA.

• 31:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:30Bobby Lee?

  I mean, right?

• 31:31Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 31:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:33Bobby Lee?

  So you take the USA.

• 31:35Andrew Santino?

  Take it.

• 31:35Bobby Lee?

  Into, you know what I mean, a hostile environment.

• 31:37Andrew Santino?

  Cause the USA thinks he's the man. I'm the man.

• 31:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got money.

• 31:42Andrew Santino?

  I got money.

• 31:43Bobby Lee?

  I got money. I'm, I'll give you money.

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  I'll give you whatever you want.

• 31:46Bobby Lee?

  Whatever you want. Wow, okay. Now I'm beginning to see it now, yeah.

• 31:51Bobby Lee?

  I'm beginning to see it now. Yeah, okay.

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  Maybe the greatest analogy of all time.

• 31:54Bobby Lee?

  I think so, I think so, I think so.

• 31:56Andrew Santino?

  And it's perfect.

• 31:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's perfect.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  And they separate them, they start to gamble, they're drinking more, they're gambling.

• 32:00Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 32:00Andrew Santino?

  Maybe then, then, then comes in the drop about.

• 32:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:03Andrew Santino?

  Should we get a bag?

• 32:06Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 32:06Andrew Santino?

  Do you wanna, oh, do you like to party?

• 32:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:09Andrew Santino?

  Then this drops in, right? Then you start to see this swirl of.

• 32:12Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, what, what's a bag?

• 32:13Andrew Santino?

  Coke.

• 32:14Bobby Lee?

  Do you wanna bag?

• 32:15Andrew Santino?

  Should we get a bag?

• 32:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's true, yeah. And then, depending on if.

• 32:19Bobby Lee?

  Is that the term?

• 32:21Andrew Santino?

  Get a bag, yeah.

• 32:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cause I wouldn't know what that meant. And she goes, if you want a bag, I go, a bag of groceries? What, you want, you want Instacart?

• 32:27Andrew Santino?

  Let's go to Trader Joe's.

• 32:29Bobby Lee?

  Like, I wouldn't know the term.

• 32:30Andrew Santino?

  It'd be so funny to take a prostitute just to Trader Joe's.

• 32:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 32:34Andrew Santino?

  Do you take her literally?

• 32:35Bobby Lee?

  This is what I'm not, you know what I mean?

• 32:37Andrew Santino?

  I just wanted stuff for my apartment.

• 32:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:39Andrew Santino?

  Then they, they ask for drugs, and if the, if the subject is.

• 32:41Bobby Lee?

  Like, if I said, um, I don't do bags.

• 32:44Andrew Santino?

  No, that's fine. You're probably less likely now for her to attack harder.

• 32:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay, so, give me the situation, alright. I, I say, okay, I say, alright.

• 32:53Andrew Santino?

  So you're sober.

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm, I've been sober for four years.

• 32:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 32:56Bobby Lee?

  And I'm, I'm gonna talk like Coachella. I just wanted to go, was this there? You know what I mean? Hydrate.

• 33:02Andrew Santino?

  And then so I.

• 33:03Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so.

• 33:04Andrew Santino?

  I'm the professional.

• 33:05Bobby Lee?

  You're the professional. So, oh yeah, I don't do drugs, I've been sober for four years.

• 33:08Andrew Santino?

  That's no problem.

• 33:10Bobby Lee?

  I saw it, I have a bag. Is there, that's not a problem?

• 33:12Andrew Santino?

  Not at all.

• 33:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so what do we do next?

• 33:14Andrew Santino?

  Let's go gamble some more.

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's gamble. So we're gambling, I spent about three grand, right? And then at one point, what happens after that?

• 33:22Andrew Santino?

  She goes, "Oh god, is this hotel nice?"

• 33:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah, I have a suite here.

• 33:26Andrew Santino?

  You do?

• 33:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  Can we, can I check it out? I wanna see, I've never seen the suites here.

• 33:31Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 33:32Andrew Santino?

  See, you're in.

• 33:33Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so we go to the elevator, boop, you know, cuz you have to put the boop.

• 33:36Andrew Santino?

  You're in the elevator.

• 33:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and you take your, you have to hack your room key, boop it, right?

• 33:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, once you see the room, I mean, what happens?

• 33:46Andrew Santino?

  I just wanna check it out.

• 33:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you wanna check it out? Alright, we're in the room.

• 33:48Andrew Santino?

  Is there a minibar in here?

• 33:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:50Andrew Santino?

  I wanna do a shot, let's do a shot.

• 33:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't drink, I just fucking said that. I don't do bags or drink.

• 33:54Andrew Santino?

  Can I do a shot?

• 33:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I guess.

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  Okay, I do a shot.

• 33:57Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 33:57Andrew Santino?

  Ready?

• 33:57Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 33:58Andrew Santino?

  I'm feeling good, it's warm in here, shirts off, tits out.

• 34:01Speaker 05

  Wait, Andrew.

• 34:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:02Speaker 05

  She needs to go to the bathroom first to text her pimp that she's okay.

• 34:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh. Oh, so the bathroom, yeah, yeah.

• 34:08Andrew Santino?

  By the way, by the way.

• 34:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:10Andrew Santino?

  I've only seen this from the floor level.

• 34:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:12Andrew Santino?

  Carlos needs to take it from here.

• 34:13Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 34:13Andrew Santino?

  I actually don't know the next move, I'm making it up as we go, but, that sounds right.

• 34:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:19Andrew Santino?

  Text her pimp, well, tell us what they do when they get into the room.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:22Speaker 05

  Hold on, can I use your restroom? And then like, it's like, ten minutes, it's way too long, like, things are happening.

• 34:27Bobby Lee?

  How much does this cost?

• 34:28Andrew Santino?

  Carlos?

• 34:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:29Speaker 05

  In Vegas, a G minimum, and then, she's gonna be, she's gonna take her shirt off.

• 34:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 05

  She'll be like, "Oh, if you wanna do anything else, you have to tip me."

• 34:36Andrew Santino?

  So they take their shirt off?

• 34:38Speaker 05

  Yeah. They're like, "Okay."

• 34:39Andrew Santino?

  And she says, "You have to tip me, but you already paid her a thousand dollars?"

• 34:42Speaker 05

  Or, "Anything else is extra, you have to tip me."

• 34:44Andrew Santino?

  So a thousand dollars is just to hang with her?

• 34:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, just for five minutes.

• 34:47Andrew Santino?

  No, that's no way.

• 34:48Speaker 05

  That, I'm serious.

• 34:49Andrew Santino?

  For nothing?

• 34:49Speaker 05

  That's how they really.

• 34:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm out.

• 34:51Speaker 05

  That's how they rip.

• 34:51Andrew Santino?

  You're not even getting like, a tuggy or something?

• 34:54Speaker 05

  No, that's how they rip people off in Vegas, or LA, you have to.

• 34:57Bobby Lee?

  It feels too, you know what I mean?

• 34:58Andrew Santino?

  The only story I know.

• 34:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:00Andrew Santino?

  I mean, other than the ones you've told me, but from a friend of mine, who isn't a guy that would do this usually, this was very out of pocket for him, but I think he was newly single and going through a rough patch.

• 35:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:11Andrew Santino?

  This is a long time ago.

• 35:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  But he told me, um, they were drinking, and he thinks that she drugged him. Well, okay, she know, he knows, I mean, he was drinking all day, he was hammered.

• 35:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:22Andrew Santino?

  But then he passed out, blacked out, passed out, and then when he woke up, his watch and his cash were gone.

• 35:28Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, that happens to like, NBA players all the time.

• 35:30Andrew Santino?

  They rob, they, I mean, they call on their friends to come rob you.

• 35:32Bobby Lee?

  What's the worth, what, what is it worth it? It's not worth it.

• 35:36Andrew Santino?

  Well, not that way.

• 35:36Bobby Lee?

  Just jerk off.

• 35:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:39Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 35:39Bobby Lee?

  That's what I do. Just jerk off.

• 35:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but see, but here's the difference.

• 35:42Bobby Lee?

  Or get on Lexapro.

• 35:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just get in an SSRI.

• 35:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  That does help. This is the commercial for SSRI's. Are you having trouble with prostitutes? Get on an SSRI. No, but so have you been robbed before?

• 35:57Speaker 05

  No, no, because I've always.

• 35:58Andrew Santino?

  But you know the stories.

• 36:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know.

• 36:01Andrew Santino?

  So you keep doing it.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  I've been in those situations and I've like backed out.

• 36:04Andrew Santino?

  But why are you still doing it knowing that it's dangerous?

• 36:06Speaker 05

  Oh, that was so long ago. Now I'm the pro.

• 36:08Bobby Lee?

  No, but here's. I know, you're the pro now. I know. But here's the thing about you.

• 36:12Andrew Santino?

  You think you're the pro.

• 36:13Bobby Lee?

  You like, you like excitement.

• 36:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:16Bobby Lee?

  You're, you're sort of like a Navy SEAL in that way.

• 36:19Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 36:19Andrew Santino?

  And, and in no other way whatsoever.

• 36:23Andrew Santino?

  It's so disrespectful to Navy SEALs.

• 36:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:26Andrew Santino?

  Like some of the most like adored athletically, mentally, physically strong.

• 36:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:32Andrew Santino?

  You are nothing like the Navy SEALs.

• 36:34Bobby Lee?

  Except for this way.

• 36:34Andrew Santino?

  Except for this.

• 36:36Speaker 05

  And we train in California.

• 36:38Andrew Santino?

  They train all over the place.

• 36:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I turn all over the place, all over the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:42Andrew Santino?

  By the way, he's gonna run.

• 36:43Bobby Lee?

  Are you good at water?

• 36:44Speaker 05

  I'm good at water.

• 36:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, he's good at water.

• 36:46Andrew Santino?

  Have you seen him swim?

• 36:47Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 36:47Andrew Santino?

  Not as, not a water guy.

• 36:48Bobby Lee?

  No, you're not, you're not a water guy?

• 36:50Andrew Santino?

  He's, you know what you are? You're not a SEAL.

• 36:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:52Andrew Santino?

  You're, you're, well, you're a beached SEAL.

• 36:55Speaker 05

  That's nice. You're chilling on the beach.

• 36:56Andrew Santino?

  See.

• 36:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it'd be so funny if his like, you know what I mean, his, his patrol or what, right? They're, they're on, they're fighting. They're, where's Carlos? And he's still swimming.

• 37:07Bobby Lee?

  This is two days in.

• 37:08Andrew Santino?

  A hundred yards off the shore.

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  I'm on my way.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  I would be vaping the whole time.

• 37:13Andrew Santino?

  You'd be vaping in the water.

• 37:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're not a SEAL.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  Watching basketball on my iPhone.

• 37:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:16Andrew Santino?

  By the way, vaping, I wish overtook cigarettes completely because of this in Vegas every time. And now it's like people still smoke in Vegas, even though I know they don't smoke back where they're from. This game people play, just vape. Please vape, because I don't, I don't, I'm huffing and puffing your shit of it. Just vape. Everywhere should be vape. There should be, only sell vapes everywhere all over Vegas. No more cigarettes. It's fucking obnoxious. How is he a Navy SEAL again?

• 37:41Bobby Lee?

  I forgot.

• 37:42Andrew Santino?

  I spaced out.

• 37:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, I, I know why. Because you like extreme.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 37:46Bobby Lee?

  You mean, you like danger?

• 37:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:48Bobby Lee?

  You like danger, you're like living on the edge, even at your age.

• 37:52Andrew Santino?

  Aerosmith?

• 37:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and you like, um, the mystery of it all.

• 37:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:57Bobby Lee?

  Like the chase. Yeah.

• 37:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, I've like run from the cops three times.

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you told me about the motorcycle thing and stuff like that, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:04Andrew Santino?

  But, but, so now you think you've got it at a place where if you get, if you pay for a friend.

• 38:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:10Andrew Santino?

  If we're gonna say this eloquently. You think you're safe from any sort of.

• 38:14Speaker 05

  Oh, I know I am because I'm like a member of certain things where it's all verified.

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 38:20Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, you're in a private club?

• 38:21Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:22Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 38:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm gonna tell you this right now.

• 38:25Andrew Santino?

  I wanna know how much you pay to be in the private.

• 38:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:27Speaker 05

  Oh, I got in early.

• 38:29Bobby Lee?

  He got in early, he invested early.

• 38:30Andrew Santino?

  Well, like as.

• 38:31Speaker 05

  I literally.

• 38:32Andrew Santino?

  Like it's AI?

• 38:33Bobby Lee?

  It's insider trading.

• 38:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 38:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:37Andrew Santino?

  Who else is in there?

• 38:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, who else is in there?

• 38:39Andrew Santino?

  What other insider traders are in there?

• 38:41Speaker 05

  I feel like there are famous people in there, but I would.

• 38:43Andrew Santino?

  In your private club?

• 38:44Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:45Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 38:45Bobby Lee?

  I believe that if Carlos was a king.

• 38:47Speaker 05

  Oh, this is what you said.

• 38:48Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, no, if I, if Carlos was a king.

• 38:51Andrew Santino?

  Hey.

• 38:51Bobby Lee?

  That we'd all be dead.

• 38:52Andrew Santino?

  Popper, popper, popper.

• 38:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:54Andrew Santino?

  Uh, popper, popper.

• 38:55Bobby Lee?

  What's a popper, popper was a popper?

• 38:56Andrew Santino?

  King, a prince, a popper, he's a popper, he's a popper.

• 38:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, but do you think we'd be alive?

• 39:00Andrew Santino?

  If he was a king?

• 39:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Andrew Santino?

  Only because of the loyalty that we've had, he's had to us so far, we'd still live through his, his.

• 39:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but what position would we have?

• 39:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, ask him, he's right there.

• 39:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, you're a king, what position do I have? And be completely honest.

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Obviously, you're my court's jester.

• 39:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's fine, of course.

• 39:14Speaker 05

  You're my fool.

• 39:15Bobby Lee?

  What do I get, though? I'm your fool?

• 39:18Speaker 05

  You're my fool.

• 39:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:19Speaker 05

  I keep you drunk and I make you relapse.

• 39:23Bobby Lee?

  Wow, okay.

• 39:23Speaker 05

  And you, and you have a chain around your neck?

• 39:26Bobby Lee?

  I do.

• 39:27Speaker 05

  Like a bear in Russia in like the 1800s?

• 39:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but do I get like a condo or an area to, a good night?

• 39:33Andrew Santino?

  Condo?

• 39:33Bobby Lee?

  Or place in the castle to sleep?

• 39:35Andrew Santino?

  The jester lives in the basement.

• 39:37Bobby Lee?

  I live in the basement?

• 39:38Speaker 05

  I would give him like a really cool view of like the ocean.

• 39:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, go, cool.

• 39:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, he gets every.

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  Can I get no cha- chain?

• 39:44Speaker 05

  No, chain always.

• 39:45Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 39:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's this chain, and you have a guy walking with you all the time to watch you.

• 39:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I have like a, a, an assistant?

• 39:52Speaker 05

  No, it's a bodyguard, but he works for me, he's watching you all.

• 39:55Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 39:55Andrew Santino?

  Just making sure you don't get any ideas.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 39:57Bobby Lee?

  To leave.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 39:58Andrew Santino?

  Anything.

• 39:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, to anything.

• 39:59Andrew Santino?

  Alright, what am I?

• 40:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, just one last question, I'm sorry, I'm the jester, so I gotta have a couple of questions.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  Well, the jester's not allowed to speak, really.

• 40:05Bobby Lee?

  I know, but how many times do I have to perform? How many times do I have to perform?

• 40:08Speaker 05

  Whenever I want.

• 40:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 40:10Speaker 05

  When I wake up, I need like a funny like ringtone.

• 40:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:13Speaker 05

  Oh, and like my phone rings, it has to always be on silent.

• 40:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:16Speaker 05

  But you do the ringtone vocally. Exactly.

• 40:19Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 40:21Bobby Lee?

  Alright.

• 40:21Speaker 05

  I would love that one.

• 40:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Do I get to have a girlfriend?

• 40:25Speaker 05

  Um.

• 40:26Andrew Santino?

  Think carefully, King.

• 40:29Andrew Santino?

  This is why they're doing the No Kings protest, by the way.

• 40:31Speaker 05

  If you behave. After like three years, we'll review it again.

• 40:34Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you get to apply?

• 40:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:36Bobby Lee?

  So I get nothing until three years?

• 40:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 40:40Bobby Lee?

  You get absolutely nothing?

• 40:41Speaker 05

  I'm gonna change your taste in, um, humans.

• 40:44Bobby Lee?

  Do I get wifi?

• 40:44Speaker 05

  I'm gonna turn you full gay.

• 40:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do I get wifi?

• 40:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, you can have wifi.

• 40:48Bobby Lee?

  Okay, cool.

• 40:49Andrew Santino?

  Turn him full gay?

• 40:50Bobby Lee?

  You get me, turn me full gay?

• 40:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm gonna do experiments where I get him hard, but there's like pictures of men, and so like reactivate his brain to only be attracted to men.

• 41:01Andrew Santino?

  This sounds like just Hollywood.

• 41:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:04Andrew Santino?

  I've been in his casting.

• 41:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't wanna be, yeah, I try, yeah, Shane's a good idea, because I would wanna get a, what is Andrew?

• 41:10Andrew Santino?

  Where am I on the King's, on the King's court?

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  And don't, don't talk out of fear.

• 41:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, don't.

• 41:14Speaker 05

  No, I have a good one for him.

• 41:15Bobby Lee?

  Alright, good.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Head of the Air Force.

• 41:18Speaker 00

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• 41:49Speaker 00

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• 42:19Speaker 00

  Low energy, unfocused, foggy? You might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body. With a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration, no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.

• 42:48Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 42:49Andrew Santino?

  With honor, my king.

• 42:50Bobby Lee?

  Which means he's nowhere near you.

• 42:52Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 42:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's out there.

• 42:53Bobby Lee?

  He's out there.

• 42:54Andrew Santino?

  I'm out there.

• 42:55Bobby Lee?

  You're out there.

• 42:55Speaker 05

  What drones to do what?

• 42:57Bobby Lee?

  You what?

• 42:57Speaker 05

  He's telling drones what to do.

• 42:58Andrew Santino?

  I'm starting fucking war, dog.

• 43:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:00Andrew Santino?

  If he's the king.

• 43:01Bobby Lee?

  Do we have communication?

• 43:02Speaker 05

  No.

• 43:03Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 43:04Speaker 05

  Only talks to me.

• 43:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can't talk to him? Like, how's the war going?

• 43:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, can I come see the jester?

• 43:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:10Speaker 05

  If you need to laugh and things are too hard.

• 43:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you can come over.

• 43:13Andrew Santino?

  This is a romantic comedy that I'm the head of of the Royal Air Force.

• 43:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:18Andrew Santino?

  And I have to sneak to come see you do shows.

• 43:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:20Andrew Santino?

  And afterwards, we hang out late night fucking around.

• 43:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:22Andrew Santino?

  This is like a romantic love story.

• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 43:24Speaker 05

  It'd infuriate me, though.

• 43:25Bobby Lee?

  But they're never gonna catch us. There'd be an opening on the door, right? And and the chin only goes to get to the opening of the door, right? So you hear. Shit, and I go, Andrew, how's the war going?

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  Hey, yeah, how are you, buddy?

• 43:39Bobby Lee?

  Not great, dude. Two years I haven't been laid. Yeah, and I think I'm gay.

• 43:47Bobby Lee?

  Let me suck a g-.

• 43:48Andrew Santino?

  I love you. I gotta go. I gotta go. I have to go bomb Iran.

• 43:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, all right. So what is Mccone's? What is Mccone's job?

• 43:56Speaker 05

  Hmm, oh, he obviously just like films and vlogs everything for me.

• 44:00Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 44:01Andrew Santino?

  So he's doing that now?

• 44:02Bobby Lee?

  So he gets a better job than me?

• 44:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 05

  No, y'all do what y'all are best at.

• 44:07Andrew Santino?

  That's true.

• 44:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but why do I have a chain?

• 44:09Speaker 05

  Cause you're the best fool.

• 44:11Andrew Santino?

  You're the best fool.

• 44:12Speaker 05

  And the chain is because I always want you to make me laugh and I think it will get tiring and you won't be allowed to leave.

• 44:18Bobby Lee?

  But eventually I'll stop making you laugh. Cause you know my temperament.

• 44:22Speaker 05

  Experiments.

• 44:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, then you do like scientific experiments on me.

• 44:26Andrew Santino?

  Does McConaughey?

• 44:27Bobby Lee?

  Like a mouse.

• 44:27Andrew Santino?

  All access to the, to the kingdom?

• 44:29Speaker 05

  He has a-

• 44:30Andrew Santino?

  Cause he's filming.

• 44:31Speaker 05

  He has an all access A band.

• 44:32Andrew Santino?

  This is where the king fucked up.

• 44:33Bobby Lee?

  Alright, what, what, what, what band do I have?

• 44:38Speaker 05

  G, GA.

• 44:39Bobby Lee?

  General admission.

• 44:40Andrew Santino?

  You're Gen Admish?

• 44:42Speaker 05

  General admission for sure.

• 44:44Bobby Lee?

  I gave you VIP for Coachella!

• 44:46Andrew Santino?

  What do I have? What do I have? What band am I in?

• 44:49Speaker 05

  Your artist pass for sure.

• 44:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I get artist pass. So I'm not all access, but I just get-

• 44:52Speaker 05

  Yours says AF, Air Force.

• 44:53Andrew Santino?

  Air Force, Air Force access.

• 44:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:55Andrew Santino?

  And can I tell you something? Listen, he, this is where he fucked up. Cause the king already laid out the rules. McConaughey, you know damn well-

• 45:03Speaker 05

  Oh no.

• 45:03Andrew Santino?

  Is gonna eventually sneak down to the Jester's Cave-

• 45:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:07Andrew Santino?

  Because of his crush on you and break you free. You know he's gonna go behind Carlos's back.

• 45:12Bobby Lee?

  You know what'll happen?

• 45:13Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 45:13Bobby Lee?

  In that opening, I'll just see a camera.

• 45:18Andrew Santino?

  He's gonna be filming you?

• 45:19Bobby Lee?

  He'll be just filming me.

• 45:20Andrew Santino?

  It's great content.

• 45:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not gonna help with shit.

• 45:24Andrew Santino?

  I disagree.

• 45:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:26Andrew Santino?

  Am I right though? You would try to break him out, wouldn't you, you little fucker?

• 45:28Speaker 05

  Nah, I'd film for a bit, but then when he was doing the same things, we did something new for the video, so we'll break him out.

• 45:33Andrew Santino?

  And Pete, where's Pete in this whole thing?

• 45:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Pete is not around a lot.

• 45:37Speaker 05

  No, we have a royal podcast every week.

• 45:39Andrew Santino?

  Ah, and I like that.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  It's the only one available.

• 45:41Andrew Santino?

  And he stays in the podcast space.

• 45:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's a producer, but-

• 45:44Andrew Santino?

  But he's not allowed to leave the podcast room.

• 45:46Speaker 05

  He doesn't want to.

• 45:47Bobby Lee?

  I'm a good podcaster. Can I be in the podcast?

• 45:49Speaker 05

  Of course, you're the fool.

• 45:52Speaker 05

  My, my Air Force sergeant is Tommy.

• 45:54Andrew Santino?

  No, no, that's a threat to security, sir.

• 45:56Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 45:56Bobby Lee?

  It is?

• 45:56Andrew Santino?

  We can't have that, the king.

• 45:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Alright, and then what does, um, Andreas have?

• 46:01Speaker 05

  Andreas?

• 46:03Andrew Santino?

  Well, this is interesting. What does the king do with Andres?

• 46:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:06Speaker 05

  Head of fashion in our country.

• 46:12Speaker 05

  He designs the uniforms for the military.

• 46:16Andrew Santino?

  The least fashionable guy on the show is the head of fashion? That's the funniest thing I've ever said. That's insane.

• 46:22Bobby Lee?

  What's that called? Did you, what's this called?

• 46:23Andrew Santino?

  Dizziuol.

• 46:24Bobby Lee?

  Dizziuol. We're all working. Half plaid, half fucking.

• 46:32Andrew Santino?

  You end up, wait, he ends up designing the kingdom, it's all dizziuol kingdom?

• 46:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, we look terrible, oh my god.

• 46:38Speaker 05

  And we're changing the language, and Andres is the head of that. We're changing it to Spanish.

• 46:42Andrew Santino?

  We're gonna be speaking Spanish.

• 46:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:44Andrew Santino?

  It'll be like we're in LA.

• 46:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:46Bobby Lee?

  How can I be funny? I don't know Spanish.

• 46:49Speaker 05

  You're gonna learn it, you're gonna...

• 46:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Like a Mexican cartoon or something.

• 46:52Andrew Santino?

  Jesters only have one good phrase. Look up in Spanish how to say, um, piss in my mouth.

• 47:02Andrew Santino?

  Here.

• 47:04Andrew Santino?

  Let's hear it. Orina en mi boca.

• 47:07Bobby Lee?

  Orina en mi boca. That's all I say.

• 47:10Speaker 05

  Very good.

• 47:12Andrew Santino?

  The jester just walks around.

• 47:14Bobby Lee?

  Orina en mi boca. Yeah, yeah, yeah, constantly, people peeing in my mouth. Wow, that's how you feel about me? That's how you feel about me?

• 47:22Andrew Santino?

  You really did.

• 47:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:24Speaker 05

  You're so funny, there's a lot of creativity to throw in.

• 47:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I bought for every meal at Coachella.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  No.

• 47:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you VIP in Coachella.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  We got better than VIP.

• 47:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you a free place to stay in Coachella.

• 47:37Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 47:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm still, the jester gets his peed on and is gay.

• 47:44Speaker 05

  I thought it'd be...

• 47:45Bobby Lee?

  Is that the rule?

• 47:46Speaker 05

  I thought it'd be an honor to...

• 47:47Bobby Lee?

  It's not an honor, dude. It's a disgrace. I get the worst job in your kingdom.

• 47:52Speaker 05

  No, it's incredible.

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  It's not incredible, dude, I have a chain on my neck, I live in a cave!

• 47:57Speaker 05

  But for me, it's great, we get to hang out all the time.

• 47:59Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not hanging out with you, dude!

• 48:01Andrew Santino?

  Well, no.

• 48:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:02Andrew Santino?

  He's, you're hanging out with him, he's not hanging out with you, that's the difference. You have to hang with him.

• 48:06Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna tell you right now...

• 48:07Andrew Santino?

  Click on that one more time.

• 48:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what?

• 48:09Andrew Santino?

  Just let me hear it. Orina en mi boca.

• 48:13Andrew Santino?

  We gotta make a merch shirt of him going... Piss in my mouth.

• 48:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Orina en mi boca. I could convince him to move up, I think.

• 48:21Andrew Santino?

  No chance.

• 48:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh dude, I'm, he's so highly manipulative.

• 48:25Andrew Santino?

  The pow, look at, that's you, that's you and Carlos.

• 48:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, dude. It's so fucking...

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god. That's how you feel. That's how you feel about me dude.

• 48:45Speaker 05

  Because I think that's fun, man.

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  That's for me though.

• 48:48Speaker 05

  I love you dude.

• 48:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because that love.

• 48:51Speaker 05

  It's forced love. No, it's forced love.

• 48:54Bobby Lee?

  Alright, forced love. It's forced love.

• 48:56Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I want that photo here.

• 48:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:59Andrew Santino?

  I want that in the studio.

• 49:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:01Andrew Santino?

  That is Mary Evans, that's amazing.

• 49:03Bobby Lee?

  What does Jules get, Rudy?

• 49:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 49:08Speaker 05

  She's like in our CIA.

• 49:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she's in, she gets a higher position as well. Zero Dark Thirty.

• 49:14Andrew Santino?

  She is.

• 49:14Bobby Lee?

  Waterboarding.

• 49:15Andrew Santino?

  She is our assassin.

• 49:16Bobby Lee?

  Right, right, right.

• 49:16Andrew Santino?

  She's our secret assassin.

• 49:17Bobby Lee?

  Secret assassin. And I'm gonna work closely with her on using her to infiltrate other kingdoms to try to make yours more expensive. You guys get so cool roles. You know what I would do? I would do a Monte Cristo, dude. I would take a piece of rock.

• 49:30Andrew Santino?

  And start slowly.

• 49:32Bobby Lee?

  25 years.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:33Bobby Lee?

  Slowly chipping away at a, you know what I mean? I just need like a Brigitte Fondow some poster.

• 49:39Andrew Santino?

  Good double, good double reference, I like that.

• 49:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, Shawshank.

• 49:41Andrew Santino?

  Shawshank.

• 49:42Bobby Lee?

  Shawshank, Monte Cristo, right? One day I would go for my birthday.

• 49:46Andrew Santino?

  What you say there, Fussy Britches?

• 49:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Can I, can I get a, um? Whatever poster, what is that?

• 49:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're gonna wake him where, he's gonna wear one of those. A gimp mask.

• 49:55Speaker 05

  For trying to do that.

• 49:56Andrew Santino?

  So when you try to break out.

• 49:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, when you catch me.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:00Bobby Lee?

  So you're gonna do poster inspections?

• 50:02Speaker 05

  100%, I've seen Shawshank.

• 50:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck.

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna be in a gimp mask.

• 50:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 05

  An iron mask.

• 50:07Bobby Lee?

  Are there other people, let me ask you this.

• 50:09Andrew Santino?

  Hey, by the way, can still Orina Imi Boka in that too.

• 50:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, did you hear all of it?

• 50:17Andrew Santino?

  Look at him, look at him pick the whole mouth over.

• 50:18Bobby Lee?

  And it's, it's so close up on the neck, it fills up?

• 50:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 50:25Andrew Santino?

  Those eyes are pre-cut for you.

• 50:27Bobby Lee?

  I want the right one, that looks cooler.

• 50:28Andrew Santino?

  It looks like yours.

• 50:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that looks cooler. I look like Batman in there.

• 50:31Andrew Santino?

  Bobby Lee gimp mask.

• 50:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So are there other people where I'm living, the caves? Are there other people?

• 50:39Speaker 05

  I love you, don't worry.

• 50:40Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 50:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I'm not worried.

• 50:41Andrew Santino?

  He wants to know about community.

• 50:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, look at the fucking ocean. Well, in that mask and a fucking chain.

• 50:47Speaker 05

  Well, that's the only thing if you misbehave, dude.

• 50:49Andrew Santino?

  Where's the castle, by the way? What location are we?

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  What does the castle look like? Try to find it.

• 50:53Speaker 05

  No, we've moved the capital from DC to LA.

• 50:57Andrew Santino?

  So we live here?

• 50:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:58Andrew Santino?

  And we live where?

• 50:58Bobby Lee?

  Malibu, Malibu. Malibu.

• 51:00Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's at least nice.

• 51:01Speaker 05

  Iron Man.

• 51:01Bobby Lee?

  For you.

• 51:02Andrew Santino?

  Where? I don't live in Malibu.

• 51:03Bobby Lee?

  For all of you but me.

• 51:05Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 51:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:05Andrew Santino?

  I'm the head of the Air Force. I live way in the middle of no. You live at the castle on the sea. That's, this is where you live.

• 51:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know what I get? This is what I'm gonna do. I'll look out the window and go, oh, there's Mel Gibson. Running on the beach. That's what the castle looks like.

• 51:18Andrew Santino?

  Bowser's castle, right?

• 51:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  Honestly?

• 51:21Bobby Lee?

  And then where am I now? Just like?

• 51:24Speaker 05

  So, that's where I'm at all the time.

• 51:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:27Andrew Santino?

  Penthouse.

• 51:27Bobby Lee?

  The penthouse, yeah. Where am I at?

• 51:29Speaker 05

  In the face.

• 51:30Bobby Lee?

  Well, that's not the face in the ocean? It's, oh, that's facing the ocean?

• 51:35Andrew Santino?

  It is.

• 51:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 51:36Speaker 05

  It's a ocean of lava.

• 51:36Bobby Lee?

  All right, so can I see the left tower, far left tower? Can I be there?

• 51:41Speaker 05

  No, dude, you don't get to choose. There's only so many chains.

• 51:44Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 51:45Speaker 05

  It's a chain issue, dude.

• 51:47Bobby Lee?

  You have plenty of chains.

• 51:49Andrew Santino?

  Also, dude, that left, that left tower, that's the bathroom.

• 51:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it is?

• 51:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:52Bobby Lee?

  I'd rather, okay.

• 51:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, see, you'll live up there.

• 51:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, where, near you?

• 51:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, you're right under me.

• 51:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna sleep, I'll tell you that. Am I screaming?

• 52:01Andrew Santino?

  You know they used to do that. They used to like carve out little pieces so they would poop over the wall outside of the castle. So it'd fill up the moat with like poop and pee and stuff like that.

• 52:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:08Andrew Santino?

  It would deter people from trying to swimming through it.

• 52:10Bobby Lee?

  Am I near there?

• 52:11Andrew Santino?

  You're by the poop pee moat.

• 52:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you also have to clean it, because I want, it has to be seethrough.

• 52:16Andrew Santino?

  So he gets to clean the poop moat every day? Oh, he collects the shit buckets?

• 52:20Speaker 05

  Whenever he wants.

• 52:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh, whenever I want? Whenever, all day long?

• 52:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's whenever.

• 52:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:27Andrew Santino?

  He collects the shit buckets from all the?

• 52:28Bobby Lee?

  You know my work ethic. That is gonna be filled with shit and pee. I ain't doing shit.

• 52:33Speaker 05

  You're gonna love the iron mask, then.

• 52:34Bobby Lee?

  I'll wear the iron mask and pee in my face, I don't care.

• 52:39Speaker 05

  This is the issue.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, this is the big issue.

• 52:41Andrew Santino?

  Your colony would be called the shit castles. Ah, down at shit castle.

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  All right, you're the king.

• 52:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, brother.

• 52:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, what am I?

• 52:48Andrew Santino?

  Phenomenal.

• 52:49Bobby Lee?

  What am I?

• 52:50Andrew Santino?

  If I'm the king?

• 52:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:52Andrew Santino?

  What are you?

• 52:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:54Andrew Santino?

  I would, I, if you're gonna not like this answer.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 52:59Andrew Santino?

  You're not gonna like this answer.

• 53:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, alright.

• 53:02Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna be my queen.

• 53:03Bobby Lee?

  Uh, that's way better than fucking shit face, uh, pee pee face.

• 53:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but, but, but the queen gets beaten daily.

• 53:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, by you?

• 53:12Andrew Santino?

  All of us.

• 53:13Bobby Lee?

  By the king?

• 53:14Andrew Santino?

  My entire court.

• 53:21Andrew Santino?

  And the queen's only allowed one phrase.

• 53:22Bobby Lee?

  You what?

• 53:23Andrew Santino?

  This in my mouth, yeah, it's the same phrase.

• 53:30Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I get shit like shit.

• 53:32Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no, you're my queen.

• 53:33Bobby Lee?

  Let's be real, I don't wanna be your queen, you could have a woman.

• 53:36Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 53:36Bobby Lee?

  Your wife.

• 53:37Andrew Santino?

  No, I want you.

• 53:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, I know.

• 53:38Andrew Santino?

  You're my little queen.

• 53:39Bobby Lee?

  Give me something aside from queen, I'm begging you.

• 53:41Andrew Santino?

  Alright, you'll be my geisha girl.

• 53:46Bobby Lee?

  Can I be vice president?

• 53:48Andrew Santino?

  Do you think in-

• 53:48Bobby Lee?

  Give me a good role, man.

• 53:49Andrew Santino?

  Do you think in medieval times you would be anything but a jester or a geisha girl? That's what you would be.

• 53:53Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, give me, how about this? Just send me out and I'll like be like a, um, what do you call it?

• 53:59Andrew Santino?

  Can't trust you in the field.

• 54:01Bobby Lee?

  No, like, you go, you're our representative in Belgium.

• 54:04Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 54:05Bobby Lee?

  Yes!

• 54:06Andrew Santino?

  That's you there.

• 54:10Bobby Lee?

  Why, why can't I have, what do you call him, um?

• 54:13Speaker 05

  Ambassador?

• 54:13Bobby Lee?

  An ambassador.

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  Absolutely.

• 54:14Bobby Lee?

  Give me an Alaska.

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  We can't have you represent us.

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, anywhere.

• 54:18Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 54:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, how about a place that no one wants to go?

• 54:21Andrew Santino?

  Where?

• 54:21Bobby Lee?

  Right, like, you know that little area between South America and North America where all those snakes and all that? Where people can't walk?

• 54:28Speaker 05

  Central America?

• 54:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:30Andrew Santino?

  Central America?

• 54:31Bobby Lee?

  There's a chunk of land where there's no roads, it's impossible to get through because of, it's just the terrain and no one lives there and because there's so many snakes.

• 54:38Andrew Santino?

  The guy in Plurbo's got through it.

• 54:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so that area?

• 54:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can I be the, that?

• 54:45Andrew Santino?

  But then you're gonna live there?

• 54:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I will find a way to live there.

• 54:48Andrew Santino?

  I don't like you begging, no, back to the castle.

• 54:52Bobby Lee?

  I can't even get that.

• 54:54Andrew Santino?

  My queen, back to the castle.

• 54:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck, dude, I'm fucked with both. How about you, Pete?

• 54:59Andrew Santino?

  Pete's my designated toe sucker, by the way.

• 55:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  Pete sucks my toes every single night.

• 55:04Speaker 06

  I'll do it.

• 55:04Speaker 05

  Lucky.

• 55:05Andrew Santino?

  And, see, I'll do it, see?

• 55:06Bobby Lee?

  Can I do toe sucking?

• 55:07Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 55:08Bobby Lee?

  Dude, my toe sucking ability is so good.

• 55:09Andrew Santino?

  You're not sucking toe.

• 55:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 55:11Andrew Santino?

  No, Pete's on it.

• 55:11Bobby Lee?

  I'll even, I'll even rim the toes. You want me to rim your toes?

• 55:18Andrew Santino?

  All right.

• 55:18Bobby Lee?

  All right, okay.

• 55:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, Carl, what would Carlos be in my kingdom?

• 55:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my, give him.

• 55:22Andrew Santino?

  What would he be in your kingdom?

• 55:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, dude, he wouldn't be in the kingdom.

• 55:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, so now this is retaliation?

• 55:27Speaker 05

  Enemy of the state.

• 55:28Bobby Lee?

  It's not, what?

• 55:28Andrew Santino?

  Enemy of the state.

• 55:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, you're definitely enemy of the state, yeah. You're number one on the FBI most wanted list. You're Bin Laden.

• 55:35Speaker 05

  That's cool.

• 55:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everybody's hunting you.

• 55:39Andrew Santino?

  Everyone's hunting you.

• 55:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, every country, I'm gonna have everyone, uh, hunt you.

• 55:43Speaker 05

  Sounds awesome.

• 55:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're a dead man, dude.

• 55:46Andrew Santino?

  Andres would be my, my groundskeeper, for sure.

• 55:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:50Andrew Santino?

  He'd make everything so nice.

• 55:51Bobby Lee?

  Not fashion, but groundskeeper.

• 55:52Andrew Santino?

  Groundkeeper, groundkeeper. He can do fashion in the grounds.

• 55:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:55Andrew Santino?

  If he wants a desirial landscape, he can.

• 55:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:59Andrew Santino?

  He can desert all the bushes. What would Mccone be in your little kingdom?

• 56:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, um, I would have a lesbian legs show.

• 56:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 56:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, and he's the head lesbian leg.

• 56:07Andrew Santino?

  Head leg.

• 56:08Bobby Lee?

  He had leg of the lesbian legs show, yeah, yeah, cuz your legs are like lesbians. Just puffy, wide, thick, you know what I mean?

• 56:14Andrew Santino?

  Come over here.

• 56:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:15Andrew Santino?

  Let me see your leg.

• 56:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, your legs are the worst.

• 56:17Andrew Santino?

  We gotta see these things.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:19Andrew Santino?

  You do have weird legs.

• 56:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:22Andrew Santino?

  Take your pants off.

• 56:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Subaru Outback.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Subaru Outback, yeah.

• 56:28Andrew Santino?

  Those are, those are kind of like lesbian legs.

• 56:30Bobby Lee?

  If you shaved them, they would be lesbian legs. Yeah.

• 56:33Andrew Santino?

  Get out of here, softball player.

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Andrew Santino?

  Mccone in my, in my world, in my kingdom, I would send him on missions that have no purpose whatsoever.

• 56:42Andrew Santino?

  Just to get him out of the kingdom for a little while, you know? I'm like, you have to go to the land of Kwanong and find a three-legged woman. He's gone for like six months.

• 56:53Bobby Lee?

  Years.

• 56:53Andrew Santino?

  And he comes back defeated.

• 56:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:55Andrew Santino?

  My lord, I could not find the three second woman.

• 56:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:57Andrew Santino?

  Fine, then you'll complete yet another mission. You'll fail yet one more.

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:01Andrew Santino?

  And I'll send him out again to do what?

• 57:03Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 57:03Andrew Santino?

  What's the other mission we send him out for?

• 57:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, stats.

• 57:06Andrew Santino?

  Stats.

• 57:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you must go to Colunga.

• 57:09Andrew Santino?

  Colunga.

• 57:10Bobby Lee?

  And count every single strawberry ever grown in one season. I don't want the numbers off at all.

• 57:17Andrew Santino?

  And if they are?

• 57:18Bobby Lee?

  If they are.

• 57:18Andrew Santino?

  Off with your head!

• 57:19Bobby Lee?

  Off with your head.

• 57:20Speaker 05

  This is what you do on tour already. You'd send me on impossible missions.

• 57:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, impossible missions.

• 57:25Andrew Santino?

  It's the best in the world. I love sending him on missions.

• 57:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:27Andrew Santino?

  And then you criticize him when he comes back and he fails them, because of course he would fail them.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:31Andrew Santino?

  How could he do anything otherwise?

• 57:32Bobby Lee?

  Pete would be executioner.

• 57:34Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have him with the, the, the black robe.

• 57:38Andrew Santino?

  That is so accurate.

• 57:39Bobby Lee?

  It's so accurate. Black, no one knows who you are, so don't feel guilty.

• 57:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:43Andrew Santino?

  You can tell it's Pete.

• 57:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:45Speaker 05

  I'll be good at it.

• 57:45Andrew Santino?

  Look, it's just that.

• 57:46Bobby Lee?

  That's that. Yeah, that's Pete.

• 57:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but he walks up, he's like, hey, it's Pete.

• 57:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People know his name.

• 57:53Andrew Santino?

  It's Pete.

• 57:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's Pete. Pete the Butcher.

• 57:55Andrew Santino?

  Pete the Butcher.

• 57:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's, there's a, you know what I mean?

• 57:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Pete the Butcher, dude.

• 57:59Andrew Santino?

  Pete's so funny.

• 58:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:01Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, that's me.

• 58:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:03Andrew Santino?

  We try to cut off somebody's head, the rig doesn't work, and Pete's like, it must be the USB C wire that's not.

• 58:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:08Andrew Santino?

  I'm like, oh, fuck.

• 58:09Bobby Lee?

  And Andreas for me would be spokesperson.

• 58:13Andrew Santino?

  A lot of miscommunication.

• 58:14Bobby Lee?

  I know, that's why, that's why. Right? What I tell him is not gonna be, no one's gonna understand what he's saying.

• 58:20Andrew Santino?

  It's like code.

• 58:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's code. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:22Andrew Santino?

  It's actually brilliant.

• 58:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's brilliant.

• 58:23Andrew Santino?

  Because no one's gonna understand.

• 58:24Bobby Lee?

  No one's gonna understand what he's saying.

• 58:26Andrew Santino?

  We plan to be outside tomorrow.

• 58:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:29Andrew Santino?

  What do the King's communicators say?

• 58:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:30Andrew Santino?

  You speak only through him.

• 58:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I go, well, you know, all the information I told him.

• 58:36Andrew Santino?

  Italian Trump?

• 58:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell you this right now, in two weeks, in two weeks, it'll be done.

• 58:46Bobby Lee?

  But yeah, I would be, he would be my communicator. But for fashion, I would have to go, go for outside help.

• 58:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, who's designing?

• 58:53Bobby Lee?

  Rick Ingram?

• 59:00Bobby Lee?

  I mean, that's just standard Gap.

• 59:04Andrew Santino?

  Just guy.

• 59:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, guy, Gap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm not dressed like that as the king.

• 59:09Andrew Santino?

  You make your court.

• 59:10Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm Balenciaga, you know what I mean, Gucci, you know what I mean, but like, everyone else, Rick is one of the funniest comics in the world.

• 59:16Andrew Santino?

  In the world.

• 59:17Bobby Lee?

  But he has just standard, common people fashion.

• 59:21Andrew Santino?

  Shirt.

• 59:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. T-shirt, jeans.

• 59:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Bobby Lee?

  And fucking, you know.

• 59:27Andrew Santino?

  I'm that way, though. I'm t-shirt, I'm standard white.

• 59:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, standard white.

• 59:29Andrew Santino?

  Standard white.

• 59:30Bobby Lee?

  A standard white clothing style, except for me. Yeah, yeah.

• 59:34Andrew Santino?

  Except for you, the king.

• 59:35Bobby Lee?

  The king is-

• 59:36Andrew Santino?

  And the king wears what? What does the king wear?

• 59:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Jesus Christ, um, probably every day is a different, you know, Verratti, and then like,

• 59:47Andrew Santino?

  No, Verratti is the knockoff.

• 59:52Andrew Santino?

  Verr- Verratti?

• 59:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck.

• 59:56Andrew Santino?

  What king was known to have the best fashion? Louis XIV? They said this guy was best fashion. Also was gay, right? I mean, he was gay. Give us like a straight king. That's Bobby Lee.

• 1:00:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Andrew Santino?

  That's 100% Bobby Lee.

• 1:00:10Andrew Santino?

  Well, are you gonna do anything for your birthday?

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  I did it all weekend. I'm gonna watch Euphoria and take Xanax later. That's my big plan.

• 1:00:18Andrew Santino?

  What's this big about Euphoria? I, I, I, I'm not, have you done it? Bob?

• 1:00:23Speaker 05

  Euphoria?

• 1:00:23Bobby Lee?

  No, no. I see the kids watching it, and I, I try to sit there and watch. And it's like, not my thing.

• 1:00:29Andrew Santino?

  Not for you.

• 1:00:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:30Andrew Santino?

  Well, good, have fun on Euphoria. We, we got you a little something.

• 1:00:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we did. And also, you know, as you get older, you know, there's just some things you just can't watch anymore.

• 1:00:39Andrew Santino?

  Why? What, Euphoria, why?

• 1:00:40Bobby Lee?

  I think it hasn't, let's tie it into Coachella. It's just like, there's, there is a language that it's just, it's just too young and too

• 1:00:49Andrew Santino?

  Too hip.

• 1:00:49Bobby Lee?

  New and hip and-

• 1:00:51Andrew Santino?

  I like how you're bringing out Carlos's cake to me, but it's going to him.

• 1:00:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, for the cameras, you guys are also on camera in the booth.

• 1:00:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:59Andrew Santino?

  Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Carlos. Happy birthday to you.

• 1:01:13Bobby Lee?

  Thirty-eight?

• 1:01:14Andrew Santino?

  Thirty-nine.

• 1:01:15Bobby Lee?

  Thirty-nine.

• 1:01:16Speaker 05

  Make a wish.

• 1:01:17Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:01:17Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Forty next year, dude. I can't believe it.

• 1:01:21Andrew Santino?

  And you know what he said by forty, you know what he's gonna have?

• 1:01:23Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:01:23Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, I'm gonna have hair.

• 1:01:24Andrew Santino?

  He's gonna get his hair done.

• 1:01:25Bobby Lee?

  Have hair, yeah.

• 1:01:26Andrew Santino?

  So he'll have hair before, while he's forty years old. And those are nuggets, right? And then we also got you an Air One smoothie there from, uh, which smoothie is that? Whose is that? Is that one of the girls that was at Coachella?

• 1:01:33Speaker 05

  The Hailey Bieber one.

• 1:01:34Andrew Santino?

  There you go.

• 1:01:35Speaker 05

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:01:36Andrew Santino?

  Was she there?

• 1:01:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude, she was.

• 1:01:38Andrew Santino?

  Does she sing? Is she a perfor- what does she do?

• 1:01:41Speaker 05

  She's Alec or Steven Baldwin's daughter.

• 1:01:43Andrew Santino?

  I know, she's married to Justin Bieber. I'm saying, does she, what does she do? Is she a singer?

• 1:01:46Speaker 05

  She hangs, she's a mom, she's a beauty.

• 1:01:49Andrew Santino?

  Before she met him.

• 1:01:50Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:01:50Bobby Lee?

  What are you angry for?

• 1:01:52Andrew Santino?

  Cause they're saying it like it's not-

• 1:01:53Bobby Lee?

  Hailey's a nice person.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  I'm saying-

• 1:01:55Bobby Lee?

  What are you so fucking angry for?

• 1:01:56Andrew Santino?

  What did she do?

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, she's-

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  She's a fucking Alec Baldwin's daughter.

• 1:01:59Andrew Santino?

  She's just famous.

• 1:02:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00Speaker 05

  Oh, that's so good.

• 1:02:01Andrew Santino?

  Is that good?

• 1:02:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, hell, yeah. Thank you, guys.

• 1:02:04Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I did, you know what I did the other day when I was in Arizona before I went to Vegas? I did the bad boy, the bad boy minibar. I went back to the room, watched movies, and I ate cle- I ate the entire fucking minibar.

• 1:02:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you were that hungry?

• 1:02:16Andrew Santino?

  Beef jerky, two bags of chips. I was just like feeling-

• 1:02:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:19Andrew Santino?

  I was having a night, dude.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  Done that in our room.

• 1:02:21Andrew Santino?

  It's so fun. Isn't it so fun to clear it out? Cause you're like, I might as well get for the other five. I was like, chocolate almonds, I was like, yeah, absolutely. And I was like, you know, I'm being pretty good with these.

• 1:02:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, gummy bears.

• 1:02:31Andrew Santino?

  Gummy bears?

• 1:02:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you hate it when you go to a hotel and there is no?

• 1:02:35Andrew Santino?

  It's a joke.

• 1:02:36Bobby Lee?

  It's a joke.

• 1:02:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what the-

• 1:02:37Bobby Lee?

  They have an empty refrigerator, like you have to go and get it.

• 1:02:40Andrew Santino?

  And no snacks.

• 1:02:40Bobby Lee?

  No snacks.

• 1:02:41Andrew Santino?

  Bullshit.

• 1:02:42Bobby Lee?

  Here's the, here's, let's name the things that are there.

• 1:02:44Andrew Santino?

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:02:45Bobby Lee?

  All right, there's always like a, um, artisan bag of potato chips.

• 1:02:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, a brand-

• 1:02:50Bobby Lee?

  It's always local.

• 1:02:50Andrew Santino?

  A brand that you, a brand that you don't know.

• 1:02:51Bobby Lee?

  You've never heard of.

• 1:02:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Mama Jenkins Hickory Barbecue.

• 1:02:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like, local.

• 1:02:56Andrew Santino?

  Local owned.

• 1:02:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Number two, beef jerky.

• 1:02:58Andrew Santino?

  Always.

• 1:02:59Bobby Lee?

  Always beef jerky.

• 1:03:00Andrew Santino?

  And, and another brand that I've never heard of.

• 1:03:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, another brand you've never heard of.

• 1:03:03Andrew Santino?

  Never heard of.

• 1:03:03Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:03:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04Bobby Lee?

  And it's always in the city that you're from.

• 1:03:05Andrew Santino?

  Tunics Ranch.

• 1:03:07Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:03:08Andrew Santino?

  Fine.

• 1:03:08Bobby Lee?

  So gummy bears is always another one.

• 1:03:10Andrew Santino?

  Gotta be.

• 1:03:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's gotta be.

• 1:03:11Andrew Santino?

  And then one of the variations of nuts, either mixed nuts or, or just, um, or just, uh, cashews or almonds.

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  Almonds, yeah, yeah. There's always a chocolate covered almond thing sometimes.

• 1:03:21Andrew Santino?

  I do love that.

• 1:03:21Bobby Lee?

  I do, I eat the fuck out of those.

• 1:03:23Andrew Santino?

  So good.

• 1:03:24Bobby Lee?

  What else do they have there? Um.

• 1:03:26Andrew Santino?

  Well, it depends on the class level.

• 1:03:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Andrew Santino?

  Cause sometimes at a high class hotel, it'll be peanut M and M's, but they'll put it in a jar. So it'll be like, not in the bag.

• 1:03:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:36Andrew Santino?

  They'll put it in another jar.

• 1:03:37Bobby Lee?

  Another jar.

• 1:03:38Andrew Santino?

  Which is fucking, yeah, like this at the win.

• 1:03:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they just put it.

• 1:03:40Bobby Lee?

  It's the same thing.

• 1:03:41Andrew Santino?

  They just put it in something else.

• 1:03:43Bobby Lee?

  But yet you still eat it.

• 1:03:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:45Bobby Lee?

  Think it looks healthier because it's in a jar.

• 1:03:48Andrew Santino?

  And then the jar are better for you.

• 1:03:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, in Hawaii, what they do is they gave me a fresh fruit of, of fruit. Fresh fruit of fruit.

• 1:03:57Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes they give you a fresh fruit of fruit.

• 1:03:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:59Andrew Santino?

  If you can get it.

• 1:04:00Bobby Lee?

  And then when it's through Carlos and, um, Gilbert's wife Cindy, right? I get, I, I, I always open the refrigerator and there's Diet Coke, water and sugar free Red Bull.

• 1:04:10Andrew Santino?

  What else do you need?

• 1:04:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:12Andrew Santino?

  Those are the beverages.

• 1:04:12Bobby Lee?

  It's like cater to me, which I really appreciate.

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, my boss, yeah.

• 1:04:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I think, um, I would, I don't want to be jester.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  What if I left a girl in there for you?

• 1:04:24Bobby Lee?

  That, that's, okay, good. Now we're negotiating.

• 1:04:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but she's, she's seven foot two.

• 1:04:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:29Andrew Santino?

  And she weighs 385 pounds.

• 1:04:31Bobby Lee?

  It's fine.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  She's a man.

• 1:04:32Bobby Lee?

  It's fine. She's a man. Now, let me ask you this. When you put your.

• 1:04:36Andrew Santino?

  It's back to the gay thing right away.

• 1:04:39Bobby Lee?

  Now.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  I took this in Australia.

• 1:04:41Andrew Santino?

  I was.

• 1:04:41Speaker 03

  It was after you cleared out our minibar.

• 1:04:43Andrew Santino?

  Passed out and I ate the entire minibar. I was so hungry. We came back. I was like, let me in your fucking room.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:50Andrew Santino?

  And I ate their whole minibar and then I slept in Mccone's bed. What did we watch on TV? We were watching a movie.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  We were watching, uh, like, I think Fear and Loathing.

• 1:04:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, we were.

• 1:05:01Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:05:02Andrew Santino?

  By the way, you see that bag of chips next to me?

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Andrew Santino?

  Gone.

• 1:05:05Bobby Lee?

  Gone.

• 1:05:06Andrew Santino?

  I fucking peeled off everything in your minibar and then I charged my headphones there.

• 1:05:10Bobby Lee?

  Now, how long do you keep the do not disturb on your door?

• 1:05:13Andrew Santino?

  The entire fucking weekend.

• 1:05:15Bobby Lee?

  So you don't let them clean your room one weekend?

• 1:05:17Andrew Santino?

  I don't need it. Just give me new towels. I just want new towels. Unless, unless it's, if I'm alone.

• 1:05:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:23Andrew Santino?

  If my wife's with me, we get service.

• 1:05:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:25Andrew Santino?

  But I'm alone?

• 1:05:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:27Andrew Santino?

  Leave me alone. I keep it at 65 degrees.

• 1:05:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Andrew Santino?

  Give me new towels, leave me alone.

• 1:05:32Bobby Lee?

  I'm a service hunter.

• 1:05:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you are?

• 1:05:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm one of those rare service hunter.

• 1:05:36Andrew Santino?

  You want it all the time.

• 1:05:37Bobby Lee?

  No, what I do is-

• 1:05:39Andrew Santino?

  You meet him at the bar?

• 1:05:42Andrew Santino?

  You ask him if you want to get a bag?

• 1:05:43Bobby Lee?

  Because my do not disturb sign is always until 3, 4pm.

• 1:05:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Bobby Lee?

  And they stop kind of like, they go home or whatever.

• 1:05:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're gone.

• 1:05:50Bobby Lee?

  So I'll take it off, I'll go to the front desk and go, "Where are they?"

• 1:05:54Andrew Santino?

  Where are they?

• 1:05:55Bobby Lee?

  And they're like, "We have one on floor 3."

• 1:05:57Andrew Santino?

  Where is she?

• 1:05:57Bobby Lee?

  And I'll go to 3, and I'll go to every room to see where they're cleaning, and I'll give them a hundred dollars.

• 1:06:03Andrew Santino?

  To come clean your room.

• 1:06:03Bobby Lee?

  And I go, "I'm in room 819."

• 1:06:06Andrew Santino?

  Great.

• 1:06:06Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:06:07Andrew Santino?

  Perfect.

• 1:06:07Bobby Lee?

  Clean room. But I'm a service hunter.

• 1:06:09Andrew Santino?

  Okay, let's do the rules then.

• 1:06:10Bobby Lee?

  What are the rules?

• 1:06:11Andrew Santino?

  If you have the ser- if you have service, come to your room every day, and you're doing a three-day stint. Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, alright? Or Thursday, Friday, Saturday, whatever.

• 1:06:19Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:20Andrew Santino?

  How much money do you, do you leave money every day, or at the end of your stay? Do you leave a tip at the end of your stay? And hold on, before you answer-

• 1:06:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I already know the answer, bud.

• 1:06:27Andrew Santino?

  I know you do, but listen. But it's, but you're gonna hear why I-

• 1:06:32Speaker 06

  I'm listening to you.

• 1:06:33Andrew Santino?

  Pete, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, do you leave every night money, every day when they clean, or do you leave it at the end of the stay?

• 1:06:39Speaker 06

  I'd leave it at the end.

• 1:06:39Andrew Santino?

  End of the stay, and what do you leave, Pete?

• 1:06:42Speaker 06

  A hundred bucks.

• 1:06:42Andrew Santino?

  Hundred bucks, no matter what, right?

• 1:06:45Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's the tip.

• 1:06:45Andrew Santino?

  What do you do, McCone? He asked me for money. Go on, Carlos? What do you do? You do every night?

• 1:06:53Speaker 05

  Oh, no, and the end.

• 1:06:54Andrew Santino?

  The end. Okay, how much?

• 1:06:56Bobby Lee?

  How much do you leave?

• 1:06:57Speaker 05

  Two hundred.

• 1:06:58Bobby Lee?

  No, he doesn't.

• 1:06:59Andrew Santino?

  He's a liar.

• 1:06:59Bobby Lee?

  He's a liar.

• 1:07:00Andrew Santino?

  I saw, I, just eat your nuggets.

• 1:07:02Bobby Lee?

  Eat your nuggets, dude.

• 1:07:03Andrew Santino?

  Look at me in the face.

• 1:07:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Andrew Santino?

  Twenty bucks.

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, opening up your bible.

• 1:07:05Andrew Santino?

  I bet you leave twenty bucks.

• 1:07:06Speaker 05

  I didn't even know you had to tip them.

• 1:07:08Bobby Lee?

  See, that's what I'm saying. Why'd you lie?

• 1:07:10Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck do you mean you don't know you have to tip them?

• 1:07:12Speaker 05

  They have a job.

• 1:07:13Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see who you voted for.

• 1:07:16Speaker 05

  I thought you only tipped waiters.

• 1:07:17Bobby Lee?

  I know who you voted for.

• 1:07:19Speaker 05

  I thought you only tipped waiters.

• 1:07:21Andrew Santino?

  Just that's the only people you tip in public?

• 1:07:23Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I tip, here's the thing, if I get up early to get the breakfast.

• 1:07:28Andrew Santino?

  In the, in the, in the room?

• 1:07:30Bobby Lee?

  No, I go out.

• 1:07:31Andrew Santino?

  Downstairs?

• 1:07:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I get the breakfast, right?

• 1:07:33Andrew Santino?

  Correct, yeah.

• 1:07:34Bobby Lee?

  I take it off, and if I go back up and they already cleaned it, I leave no tip.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  Because I still have to service hunt then.

• 1:07:41Andrew Santino?

  Correct.

• 1:07:42Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:07:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, and service hunt takes a long time sometimes.

• 1:07:45Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:07:45Bobby Lee?

  Right? But if they're, if I catch them in the act of cleaning, right? Then I tip.

• 1:07:50Andrew Santino?

  Got it.

• 1:07:51Bobby Lee?

  Right? But when I a- a- actually service hunt, I tip.

• 1:07:54Andrew Santino?

  Get it.

• 1:07:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:55Andrew Santino?

  Got it?

• 1:07:55Bobby Lee?

  But if it's already clean.

• 1:07:56Andrew Santino?

  Then no need.

• 1:07:57Bobby Lee?

  No need.

• 1:07:57Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:07:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's my thing.

• 1:07:59Andrew Santino?

  I do it, if, I, I, I only do it at the end because of this.

• 1:08:02Bobby Lee?

  How do you do it?

• 1:08:03Andrew Santino?

  I don't want people coming and going, so there's always a little notepad with a little pen, always on a desk somewhere, and I write, "Thank you so much." And then if I've acquired something, like this weekend, I left, that, we got a swag bag of stuff I just didn't want, I was gonna bring it from a cone, but all the other things I've given him are where? In the backseat of your fucking car.

• 1:08:19Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:08:20Andrew Santino?

  I gave him a ton of clothes, new swag, throws them in his fucking Accord in the back.

• 1:08:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:24Andrew Santino?

  Very nice, dude. I'm gonna not give you shit anymore.

• 1:08:27Speaker 06

  My backups, in case I need them.

• 1:08:28Andrew Santino?

  I'm not gonna give you shit anymore, you have too much free shit. So then I, I had a backpack, a bottle of tequila, like, hats, some clothes, like a, like, cool, throw over shit, you know, like, and I wrote, "Free if you'd like it."

• 1:08:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:41Andrew Santino?

  Bottle of tequila yours, a nice new backpack, and some baseball caps.

• 1:08:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:45Andrew Santino?

  And then I, and I-

• 1:08:45Bobby Lee?

  Some cash.

• 1:08:46Andrew Santino?

  But how much do I leave?

• 1:08:47Bobby Lee?

  Twenty bucks.

• 1:08:49Andrew Santino?

  Twenty bucks?

• 1:08:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:51Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:08:52Bobby Lee?

  Hundred?

• 1:08:53Andrew Santino?

  I leave a hundred.

• 1:08:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:54Andrew Santino?

  I leave a hundred every time, unless-

• 1:08:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:57Andrew Santino?

  If it's my wife and I.

• 1:08:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:59Andrew Santino?

  And I make, we making a mess every day.

• 1:09:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Andrew Santino?

  Like, there's shit all over the fucking place.

• 1:09:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:03Andrew Santino?

  Because women, for some reason, set off a, a bomb in the fucking bathroom.

• 1:09:07Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:07Andrew Santino?

  I, I'll leave them a little bit more, I'll do like a buck and a half.

• 1:09:10Bobby Lee?

  You know what the Ritz does?

• 1:09:11Andrew Santino?

  Uh-uh.

• 1:09:12Bobby Lee?

  They wash your clothes and fold them.

• 1:09:15Andrew Santino?

  You have to pay for that?

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:09:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yes you do.

• 1:09:18Bobby Lee?

  I did?

• 1:09:18Andrew Santino?

  Yes. We did, I'm sure we did it on tour.

• 1:09:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I don't, no, when I, in Hawaii-

• 1:09:24Andrew Santino?

  Bobby's like, "You're not gonna believe this."

• 1:09:25Bobby Lee?

  I put all my clothes in the washer, thinking that later at night I was gonna wash them, by the time I got home, they had washed it, dried it, and folded it.

• 1:09:34Andrew Santino?

  Yes, laundry services at the Ritz Carlton properties in Hawaii, Kapaloa, or Waikiki are very, extra cost.

• 1:09:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck!

• 1:09:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you pay for that.

• 1:09:41Bobby Lee?

  And I gave them money.

• 1:09:42Andrew Santino?

  Well, and then you tipped on top of the money.

• 1:09:44Bobby Lee?

  Before the internet, though, okay? Before we had internet access, right?

• 1:09:48Andrew Santino?

  Forty years ago, yeah.

• 1:09:49Bobby Lee?

  Forty years, yeah, yeah. I used to leave, this is what I used to leave. DVD players.

• 1:09:54Andrew Santino?

  What? In your fucking hotel room?

• 1:09:56Bobby Lee?

  In my hotel room, I would write a note, "This is your DVD player."

• 1:09:59Andrew Santino?

  What? Would you just go bought a DVD player? Because you'd buy it at Best Buy to watch movies in the weekend?

• 1:10:03Bobby Lee?

  Not movies.

• 1:10:04Andrew Santino?

  Porn?

• 1:10:05Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:10:05Andrew Santino?

  Got it. Did you leave some of the porn in there or no?

• 1:10:08Bobby Lee?

  No, I would take the porn. They're discs. Yeah, I would leave with the disc, but leave the DVD player.

• 1:10:13Andrew Santino?

  By the way, he could have bought porn from the TV for like fifty bucks.

• 1:10:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but they're fuzzy and there's five options.

• 1:10:19Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 1:10:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:20Andrew Santino?

  Carlos always finds an opportunity to look up, even though he knows what porn DVDs look like.

• 1:10:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, he'll look it up, yeah.

• 1:10:25Andrew Santino?

  He just wants to Google it.

• 1:10:26Bobby Lee?

  So I would, so I would go to the local, yeah, stop. I would go to the local, you know, the porn store, I'd buy five or six discs. I'd go to the Best Buy, get a DVD player.

• 1:10:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:34Bobby Lee?

  I've also left two Xboxes.

• 1:10:38Andrew Santino?

  That's so expensive.

• 1:10:39Bobby Lee?

  It's so expensive, yeah.

• 1:10:39Andrew Santino?

  Because the DVD player's probably get for twenty.

• 1:10:41Bobby Lee?

  Well, no, because my intention was always, I'm gonna put it in my suitcase. But then I try to put it in the suitcase and it won't fit. So I say, "Ah, fuck it," you know what I mean? And I'll just write a note, "Here's a brand new fucking..."

• 1:10:51Andrew Santino?

  Here's a new Xbox.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  Xbox for you.

• 1:10:54Bobby Lee?

  And they must have loved it.

• 1:10:55Andrew Santino?

  How much was Xbox in 2007? It was five hundred dollars.

• 1:10:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God, two thousand and...

• 1:11:00Bobby Lee?

  And that's what I would get paid for the gig, too.

• 1:11:01Andrew Santino?

  By the way, five hundred dollars back then is like six grand today. That's great. Dude, this was a crazy moment I had at the airport here today. Before I came home, I went to the bathroom when we landed.

• 1:11:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Andrew Santino?

  And there was a man in the, in the room, changing his baby's diaper.

• 1:11:15Bobby Lee?

  Aww.

• 1:11:16Andrew Santino?

  And I'm in there taking a piss and then I, and he turns to me and I go, "Hey, man." He's like, "Hi." And then another guy walks in to go buy me, to go piss, as I'm washing my hands. And he's like, "Oh, baby." And the guy's like, "Yeah." And he's like, "How old's the baby?" He's like, "Real fresh." It's like, it was like two months or something like that. And he was like, "Oh, so cute." And I'm washing my hands. And then this guy's done peeing, then he goes next to the man. And like stands there and like watching him change the baby. And he was like, "So cute, so cute." And I could feel the dad being like, "Mm-hmm."

• 1:11:45Bobby Lee?

  I know what that is.

• 1:11:48Bobby Lee?

  What if he's a new dad and trying to figure out how to put-

• 1:11:51Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't know how to do it?

• 1:11:51Bobby Lee?

  Diaper on.

• 1:11:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, internet, Google it. Don't stare at another man changing his baby, it's fucking insane.

• 1:11:56Bobby Lee?

  Like boiling the egg for me.

• 1:11:58Andrew Santino?

  We Googled it.

• 1:11:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, sometimes the internet doesn't know.

• 1:12:01Andrew Santino?

  No, the internet always knows. The internet literally always knows.

• 1:12:04Bobby Lee?

  ChatGPT told me to do it wrong.

• 1:12:05Andrew Santino?

  No, no, you just did it wrong. We followed the directions perfectly.

• 1:12:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay, well, anyway. Although, although I've never, although I've never put a diaper on a baby before, I already know how to do it.

• 1:12:16Andrew Santino?

  You've never changed your friend's kids?

• 1:12:18Bobby Lee?

  No, but I assume I already know how to do it because I know how the body works. I know there's adhesives on the end.

• 1:12:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're not an idiot.

• 1:12:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not an idiot, right? So, yeah, I don't know what the explanation is.

• 1:12:27Andrew Santino?

  It was so weird. Dude, even I wanted to turn and be like, dude, get out of here. What are you doing?

• 1:12:31Bobby Lee?

  But Kalila's baby, where we're having, we're in the-

• 1:12:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you've never changed Kalila's baby?

• 1:12:35Bobby Lee?

  No, but he said something that I almost cried.

• 1:12:38Andrew Santino?

  The baby?

• 1:12:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the baby was sitting there eating, and I was kind of across the table, and he looks at him and he goes,

• 1:12:44Andrew Santino?

  Bobby! Wow.

• 1:12:47Bobby Lee?

  And he knows my name.

• 1:12:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we heard, yeah, we forget.

• 1:12:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and it was just like, oh, and I went in and kissed his forehead. And he, and then he does this because he gets shy.

• 1:12:58Andrew Santino?

  But he knows it's you.

• 1:12:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:59Andrew Santino?

  All right, King, sign us out. Go ahead, it's your birthday.

• 1:13:01Speaker 05

  Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:13:03Andrew Santino?

  Cute.