5th Badiversary w/ Chris Distefano & Dr. Phil

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Andrew Santino?

  Hey.

• 0:00Bobby Lee?

  Hey, oh my god.

• 0:01Andrew Santino?

  I'm shooting my special.

• 0:02Bobby Lee?

  Who's doing a special tonight, today?

• 0:05Andrew Santino?

  This week.

• 0:05Bobby Lee?

  This week, I mean?

• 0:06Andrew Santino?

  This week, this Friday and Saturday, the 21st and 22nd. Minneapolis, Minnesota, I am in your city this week. Come see me shoot my special, all but one are sold out. Uh, the late Friday show, come see your boy. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrew Santino.

• 0:21Bobby Lee?

  Dot com to get tickets.

• 0:23Andrew Santino?

  And also.

• 0:25Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 0:25Andrew Santino?

  I'm Banzontos.

• 0:26Bobby Lee?

  Banzontos.

• 0:28Andrew Santino?

  Banzontos, London, England, we're coming to you.

• 0:30Bobby Lee?

  We're coming to London, England, July 14th.

• 0:32Andrew Santino?

  July 18th and Dublin, Ireland afterwards. We're going to London and Dublin. We're playing the OVO Arena in Wembley. No association to Drake.

• 0:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 0:40Andrew Santino?

  Uh, and then Dublin, Ireland on the 19th, we're playing the Three Arena.

• 0:44Bobby Lee?

  Three Arena.

• 0:44Andrew Santino?

  Uh, the tickets are, are regular sale now. They were artist pre-sale and now they're on sale.

• 0:48Bobby Lee?

  Regular.

• 0:49Andrew Santino?

  So go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Badfriendspod.com.

• 0:53Speaker 02

  You two are bad friends.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  Who are these two idiots?

• 0:57Speaker 02

  White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  Oh, you two are something.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  We're bad friends.

• 1:05Andrew Santino?

  I'm so sick I can't do the podcast, but I can go to fucking Miami with Jake Paul.

• 1:10Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 1:11Andrew Santino?

  I'm so sick I can't podcast, but I can go to Miami for Jake Paul. I'm so sick I can't podcast, but I can sit on a five and a half hour flight to Miami.

• 1:20Bobby Lee?

  Interesting.

• 1:20Andrew Santino?

  For Jake Paul.

• 1:21Bobby Lee?

  Interesting stuff.

• 1:22Andrew Santino?

  I'm so sick I can't podcast.

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:24Andrew Santino?

  Jake Paul?

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  We heard.

• 1:25Andrew Santino?

  I'm on my way.

• 1:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26Andrew Santino?

  I'm on my way.

• 1:27Bobby Lee?

  I'm so sick that I'm gonna go to promotions for Bad Friends.

• 1:30Andrew Santino?

  Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

• 1:32Bobby Lee?

  I'm so sick that I go out of my way, right? To risk my life and my health and my family's lineage.

• 1:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:38Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:39Bobby Lee?

  For my best friend Andrew.

• 1:40Andrew Santino?

  Your family's lineage is in jeopardy already. Don't even get me started, dude.

• 1:45Bobby Lee?

  You know, you know.

• 1:45Andrew Santino?

  This guy goes to Jake Paul's party for the Super Bowl and goes the day before, I'm sick, dude, we can't pod.

• 1:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's so.

• 1:51Andrew Santino?

  And I said, you still gonna go to Miami? No answer.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 1:54Andrew Santino?

  He was always, he was there.

• 1:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no answer.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  That's why he didn't answer.

• 1:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I, I'm so sick that I'm, I, I, I bow to the king.

• 2:02Andrew Santino?

  Jake Paul's the king?

• 2:03Bobby Lee?

  I guess.

• 2:03Andrew Santino?

  Jake Paul's the king.

• 2:04Bobby Lee?

  Let me say something right now, dude, right? You know, we're like in Game of Thrones, dude, right? I went to the Lannisters, dude, right? Right? When I'm just a peasant, I could get my head beheaded, right? I did it for our fucking, you know, farm in, you know?

• 2:19Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:19Bobby Lee?

  White walkers are coming from the north, right?

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:22Bobby Lee?

  And I risked my life and limb, right? To go down there to bow to the king, right? For us so that we get saved. And now he does this. Do you understand?

• 2:30Andrew Santino?

  Ring, ring. Hello, Jake Paul.

• 2:33Bobby Lee?

  Dude.

• 2:34Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you need me in Miami?

• 2:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:36Andrew Santino?

  I'll be right there.

• 2:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:39Andrew Santino?

  Who, who else gonna be there?

• 2:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What?

• 2:43Andrew Santino?

  Ring, ring.

• 2:43Bobby Lee?

  Ring, ring.

• 2:46Bobby Lee?

  Ring, ring.

• 2:47Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I love stumping you. I love that you know, I know that.

• 2:50Bobby Lee?

  You fucked me up.

• 2:51Andrew Santino?

  You know that you got, you weren't that sick.

• 2:53Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, that, that, no, no, that, that.

• 2:56Andrew Santino?

  And also.

• 2:57Bobby Lee?

  That's not it.

• 2:57Andrew Santino?

  And also, the night before was with a lady friend hanging out. With a lady friend, didn't get that sick, went on a flight, Jake Paul Miami.

• 3:06Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Um, first of all.

• 3:08Andrew Santino?

  Our guest today is Chris DeSaffo.

• 3:12Bobby Lee?

  I like you.

• 3:12Speaker 04

  I just wanna, I love.

• 3:13Bobby Lee?

  I love you, but when I say this, right, right? Um, um, lady friend always trumps work.

• 3:19Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 3:19Bobby Lee?

  Don't you think?

• 3:20Andrew Santino?

  Lady friend always trumps work.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Did you bring us back any Celsius?

• 3:22Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 3:23Speaker 04

  Any Celsius?

• 3:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I gotta order, I go, yeah, was, did he have, Jake had something to do with that?

• 3:28Andrew Santino?

  No, they're prime.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  Oh, prime, sorry. Bring back any prime?

• 3:31Bobby Lee?

  Well, let's get that back because the joke doesn't work now.

• 3:34Andrew Santino?

  Do it again?

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  Uh, bring me in. Did you, did you bring back any prime?

• 3:43Bobby Lee?

  I have no trust to.

• 3:44Andrew Santino?

  All right. Explain to us, explain to us who was at the Super Bowl party? By the way, you hate football.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  You look like.

• 3:53Bobby Lee?

  So Carlos went with me.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  You do have pigskin face.

• 3:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 04

  Just, just in the face.

• 3:59Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, man.

• 4:00Speaker 04

  Boom, boom, boom. You look like a field goal kicked football.

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  Good.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 4:07Andrew Santino?

  All right, who was at the party?

• 4:08Speaker 04

  You look thin though, you do look good.

• 4:09Andrew Santino?

  He does.

• 4:09Bobby Lee?

  I'm being real though.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  No, I swear to God, well, as soon as I came in, I said, you, you looked, you look thinner than I've ever seen you. I thought maybe you're on some.

• 4:17Andrew Santino?

  He is.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  Are you?

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Like Ovi, we go, we.

• 4:19Speaker 04

  We go, we?

• 4:20Andrew Santino?

  Bring up the photo of him from his Instagram he posted on the set of Theo's movie.

• 4:24Speaker 04

  You look good, no, you really do look.

• 4:25Andrew Santino?

  Everyone I know is like, bro, is Bobby losing crazy weight? I was like, he, yeah, dude, he's on it.

• 4:30Bobby Lee?

  Uh, yeah.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  There it is.

• 4:31Andrew Santino?

  No, no, it's the next one there, he's standing up. Look at that, dude.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 4:34Andrew Santino?

  Skinny.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  You look good.

• 4:36Bobby Lee?

  Look at my belly, dude. Oh, I mean, it is compared to, uh, David, yeah, David Spade does look like he has the hiv.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  You look good, and if honestly, if I just blacked out the face with that hair and that outfit, you look exactly like my aunt Colleen.

• 4:49Andrew Santino?

  Shout out Colleen.

• 4:50Speaker 04

  You look literally exactly like my Aunt Colleen.

• 4:52Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I'm already drowning on this podcast. It's like Vietnam, dude. It's like I'm just being pelted, dude. This is hamburger hill. I'm on hamburger hill. There's no other way out, man.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  What side would you fight on in Vietnam?

• 5:06Andrew Santino?

  You're on hamburger hill.

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  South.

• 5:07Andrew Santino?

  No bun. No bun.

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  Protein style.

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, protein style hamburger hill, dude.

• 5:12Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute, though.

• 5:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:13Andrew Santino?

  You do look fantastic in this photo. You look thin. You look good.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Are you being real?

• 5:18Andrew Santino?

  Your skin looks good. Yeah, man, you look good.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  But David Spade looks even better.

• 5:22Bobby Lee?

  Well, he always looks better.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  He looks even thinner.

• 5:24Andrew Santino?

  He's twiggy wiggy. He's so skinny, man.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  He is so skinny. He looks like he has Siskel and Ebert jaw cancer.

• 5:33Andrew Santino?

  You know Spady's never, he never overeats. He never has a bad month. I've never seen him go, dude, I gotta cut back. Like, you and I have phone calls where it's like, buddy.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  You called me, Santino called me and he didn't know that Jasmine was in the car. He called me and told me that he had to get back in shape because he was on the road so much and he looked at himself in the mirror naked at a hotel room on the road and he started crying.

• 5:56Speaker 04

  And my girl heard it.

• 5:57Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I got out of the shower. I saw my stupid, little, ugly, pale body. They had one of those big mirrors right as you got out of the shower. And I looked at it, started crying.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:06Andrew Santino?

  Instantly was like, look at my little penis, my pale, frumpy body and just bawling. I was like, I gotta go to the fucking gym, dude.

• 6:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:14Andrew Santino?

  I just sad fat boy. On the road, you're eating, you're not sleeping right, like you're traveling.

• 6:18Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't get the head of my dick out of this tube.

• 6:21Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 6:22Speaker 04

  What?

• 6:23Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean?

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, shit.

• 6:24Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean?

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  Here we go. Here we go.

• 6:26Andrew Santino?

  What tube?

• 6:27Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 6:27Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean?

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  Well, the tube is the stem, the shaft.

• 6:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it went in?

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 6:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I couldn't get it out.

• 6:33Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 6:34Bobby Lee?

  It was like gum or something in it.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  You're not circumcised?

• 6:36Bobby Lee?

  I am circumcised. That's what, that's the tragedy of it all.

• 6:39Andrew Santino?

  That's the tragedy.

• 6:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 6:42Bobby Lee?

  It was like a turtle, right? His head couldn't get out of the shell.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:46Andrew Santino?

  Stuck.

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  Right. So then I had to do a thing where I was like, ah, like that. And it made a sound like. And it came out and then I held it with my two fingers so that it wouldn't like, you know what I mean? Dry that way, you know?

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, but look there, you could see you got, you got.

• 7:00Bobby Lee?

  I don't know why I just shared that information. Because you were like, you guys were sharing about, you know, be naked, be in the mirror and stuff, right? I just goes, this is what happened to me.

• 7:08Andrew Santino?

  I don't think hotels.

• 7:08Bobby Lee?

  I'm drowning dude, I'm drowning already because it attacked me so badly.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  No, you never look good, you never look good in a hotel mirror.

• 7:14Andrew Santino?

  It's disgusting. Also, by the way, you're not drowning. And if you do remember Vietnam, you ended up, you guys ended up winning. You know what I mean?

• 7:20Bobby Lee?

  Mmm, stalemate.

• 7:21Andrew Santino?

  Stalemate, good, yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  But that's a win. If a tie, a tie is a win. Are you gonna tie with the United States? That's a win.

• 7:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, man, you love soccer. That's a tie's a win.

• 7:28Bobby Lee?

  A tie, yeah, I guess a tie is a win, yeah, yeah.

• 7:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, tie's a win.

• 7:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, you know, when you both come, it's good.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 7:35Bobby Lee?

  Right? Sometimes you, you come, right? And the other person doesn't come.

• 7:39Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 7:40Bobby Lee?

  Right? And then you're like, I'm tired or whatever.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  That's most of my sex life.

• 7:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Your wife? Muy, muy bueno, por favor. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you, she was, I tell ya.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  If she had a cock, right?

• 7:56Speaker 04

  You mean it?

• 7:58Bobby Lee?

  I was so nice to her at the Hulu party, right? Was it not?

• 8:00Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 8:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't like your face.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  Why?

• 8:04Bobby Lee?

  You think I was gonna be too nice? I wasn't hitting on her.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  No, she doesn't care.

• 8:07Bobby Lee?

  I was just looking, I go, she's so beautiful.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:09Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 8:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:09Bobby Lee?

  Very nice, very bueno.

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  She is gorgeous.

• 8:11Speaker 04

  She, yeah, she, she absolutely.

• 8:13Andrew Santino?

  You got everything going for you.

• 8:14Bobby Lee?

  You got everything going for you.

• 8:14Andrew Santino?

  Watch this transition. Look at this.

• 8:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:16Andrew Santino?

  Special out on Hulu, the guy is playing Madison Square Garden.

• 8:20Bobby Lee?

  Madison Square Garden.

• 8:21Speaker 04

  September 11th.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  On 9/11.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  That's what it is.

• 8:24Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 8:25Andrew Santino?

  Now, are you donating, you donating any of the proceeds to the fire, to FDNY?

• 8:29Speaker 04

  If we can get ticket sales above 7,000.

• 8:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, okay.

• 8:31Speaker 04

  Yep. Anything, anything under that, I'm gonna have to keep from, Poppy's gonna have to keep.

• 8:35Bobby Lee?

  Now, do we get spots on that show or what?

• 8:37Andrew Santino?

  Yes, should.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 8:38Bobby Lee?

  Not being real. Do we get spots on that show?

• 8:40Speaker 04

  If you guys, I swear to god, if you were in New York, you could absolutely, um, come do spots, as long as I could promote you.

• 8:46Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  No, I'm kidding, kidding. Tickets are going good, tickets are going good. Stay positive.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  Good. September 11th, a memorable day for New York City.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 8:53Bobby Lee?

  Are you nervous that if you don't sell out, that you'll look like a tragedy?

• 8:57Andrew Santino?

  Like that?

• 9:00Andrew Santino?

  That's if you don't sell out the garden.

• 9:02Bobby Lee?

  And there's me running away.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, yeah, there's Bobby dressed like a burglar from the 1920s.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  That's the Hamburglar Hill.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Yes, that, um, yeah, so I, no, I'm not nervous because, um, I, it's just, it's just been a dream of mine and it's gonna be good. And, uh, they say President Donald Trump might come.

• 9:21Andrew Santino?

  Wait, seriously?

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Well, because all the presidents always go to the nine eleven. So they were saying that there's a possibility that maybe they'll come at night.

• 9:30Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 9:30Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:31Andrew Santino?

  Does he like you? Does he know you?

• 9:33Bobby Lee?

  You guys know each other?

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Son knows me, Trump Jr.

• 9:35Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 9:36Speaker 04

  He said, he said, he didn't ever told me anything about his dad. When everyone was, see, when everyone was, uh, getting Trump on the pod in New York and out here too. They, they offered, they said maybe he would zoom in with me. So I said, I can't, no. No one wanted to do this.

• 9:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, no one did?

• 9:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 9:51Bobby Lee?

  AOC, can we get her?

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  You should get her in and I'll come run in and smell the seat.

• 9:57Bobby Lee?

  Now, we, no, like, AOC, let's, let's talk about her, right? In a club.

• 10:01Andrew Santino?

  Pass.

• 10:02Bobby Lee?

  You're in a club.

• 10:05Bobby Lee?

  Would you go, sir?

• 10:06Speaker 04

  If I, I mean, look at my family.

• 10:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, you would. Just down in that way.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 10:11Bobby Lee?

  In that weird way.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  That's what I want. If you're, if you're, if you're, if you're from any US territory, I want to have sex with you. That's what it is. So I like girls from the US territories. Puerto Rico.

• 10:22Andrew Santino?

  Any, uh, any trips to the Gulf of America coming up for you?

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Um, no.

• 10:26Andrew Santino?

  Uh, what? Swimming the Gulf?

• 10:27Speaker 04

  Gulf of Amer- no.

• 10:29Andrew Santino?

  If you look at the map, I think they changed it on Apple Maps.

• 10:31Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 10:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:32Bobby Lee?

  They did?

• 10:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, look.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  Only in the US, only in the US. Yeah. One of our boys, one of our boys in the group chat posted, uh, uh, like they posted on Facebook Gulf of America, like, you know, like proud, like look at this, whatever. And then one, he didn't realize when he sent the screenshot to the group chat on Facebook, there was a comment from like this gay guy that was like, "Haven't seen you at the bars in Long Beach, big boy. When you coming back?" Who do I send it to?

• 10:55Andrew Santino?

  Carlos.

• 10:55Speaker 04

  Carlos. All right. I'll send it to you, Carlos. We would die and laughing when you just get caught being a.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  I think Gulf of America, I like them wanting to buy Greenland.

• 11:06Bobby Lee?

  That's a good one.

• 11:06Andrew Santino?

  What are we gonna do with Greenland?

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Canada, it's just another.

• 11:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 11:10Speaker 04

  I don't know, what, what could we do there?

• 11:11Bobby Lee?

  Hot Topic headquarters.

• 11:13Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 11:13Andrew Santino?

  Is that where it goes?

• 11:14Bobby Lee?

  No, I wanna do one there. Let's, we took over Greenland, what shops do we have there?

• 11:19Speaker 04

  In Greenland?

• 11:20Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty smart.

• 11:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 11:21Andrew Santino?

  What shops would we?

• 11:22Bobby Lee?

  What we do, um, Hot Topic, many, like the, see, obviously a Hot Topic there.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay, Woo Woo Women.

• 11:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like that a lot.

• 11:30Andrew Santino?

  Anti Annie's pretzels.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  Ooh, yummy, Panda Express.

• 11:34Andrew Santino?

  Gotta be there.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  No, because they're Eskimos.

• 11:37Andrew Santino?

  Could we throw in a Sabaro?

• 11:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:40Andrew Santino?

  Sabaro.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  Sabaro.

• 11:41Bobby Lee?

  What is Sabaro?

• 11:42Andrew Santino?

  The best mall pizza in the world.

• 11:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I thought it was a car.

• 11:46Speaker 04

  Guess who'll be the fashion designer for Hot Top? We've got a brand new fashion designer, guess who it is?

• 11:50Andrew Santino?

  Who?

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Kanye.

• 11:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:54Bobby Lee?

  Kanye.

• 11:56Andrew Santino?

  Have you seen his website? Have you gone to easy.com?

• 11:58Speaker 04

  Did you see his Super Bowl commercial?

• 12:00Andrew Santino?

  Bro, oh, look, they're, they're blocking the site now.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Oh, God, really?

• 12:03Andrew Santino?

  It's down? Yeah, it's down. He was selling, he was selling t-shirts, do you know this for real?

• 12:07Bobby Lee?

  No, just tell me everything.

• 12:08Andrew Santino?

  I'm, dude, I'm not joking, we can't, we can Google it still to find it.

• 12:11Bobby Lee?

  Is it right wing?

• 12:12Andrew Santino?

  He was selling a white.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  Oh, I'd say it's right wing.

• 12:15Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  He was selling a t-shirt with just a swastika on it, a white tee, $20.

• 12:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  You gotta be fu- No.

• 12:22Andrew Santino?

  But he was-

• 12:22Speaker 04

  I swear to God.

• 12:23Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Look at their-

• 12:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's why I saw, I saw, um, um, Jewish people wearing the same symbol but with a flick off.

• 12:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's a Kanye.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  That, that, if you, if you, he paid $8 million to do a Super Bowl commercial in certain regions-

• 12:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  That he just filmed on his iPhone from the dentist's office.

• 12:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he was sitting in a dentist's chair.

• 12:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but that doesn't, somebody owned that brand already?

• 12:43Andrew Santino?

  The swastika?

• 12:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Hitler, I think they're licensing it.

• 12:46Bobby Lee?

  It's like Happy Birthday, who has Happy Birthday?

• 12:48Andrew Santino?

  Hitler.

• 12:48Bobby Lee?

  Hitler, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has Happy Birthday and he has a swastika, no?

• 12:51Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:52Bobby Lee?

  Can't they sue him?

• 12:53Andrew Santino?

  Uh, he probably-

• 12:54Bobby Lee?

  And that's ours?

• 12:54Andrew Santino?

  He's probably, it's probably in court right now. You know, he also owns the Black Happy Birthday.

• 12:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I don't, let's sing it, cause I don't know-

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  Happy Birthday to-

• 13:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  Happy Birthday.

• 13:08Bobby Lee?

  Nah, yeah.

• 13:09Andrew Santino?

  He owns them both.

• 13:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that birthday, yeah, I like that one.

• 13:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:12Bobby Lee?

  I like, I love all black, you saw, like, Merry Christmas.

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what is theirs?

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  Well, like Jingle Bells is good, right? Black Jingle Bells?

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  What is that one?

• 13:19Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember.

• 13:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you do. I think you know it.

• 13:21Bobby Lee?

  Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell.

• 13:27Andrew Santino?

  Really good.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  No, that was bad. Cut that part out. I committed my fucking throat crack. It didn't sound good. Why did you set me up? Do you sing Black Jingle Bells?

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Gee, happy Kwanzaa.

• 13:40Bobby Lee?

  To ya. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 04

  To Kwanzaa.

• 13:43Andrew Santino?

  Well, shout out to Kanye, uh, selling shirts with swastikas on them, dude. What are you doing?

• 13:48Speaker 04

  He says that it's the, it's the Hindu symbol.

• 13:51Andrew Santino?

  Is that what he said?

• 13:52Speaker 04

  Not the Nazi thing. He said it's the Hindu and that we're all assholes, that he's just sending a Hindu symbol for freedom or

• 13:58Andrew Santino?

  Crazy.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  peace or whatever it is.

• 14:00Bobby Lee?

  If you had a record company, would you sign him?

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:02Bobby Lee?

  Let's be, no, be real.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  No.

• 14:04Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay, you wouldn't. I guess you're a startup. You're a startup.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  I'm a startup?

• 14:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, record company, yeah.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  I would.

• 14:11Bobby Lee?

  You have no, you have no, like, band singer, you have signed nobody. You have no money.

• 14:16Andrew Santino?

  He's the guy.

• 14:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right. And you're like, he goes, yeah, I'll sign with you. Would you sign him?

• 14:20Speaker 04

  I would. I could separate the man.

• 14:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would probably buy the Cosby Show too, you know, just like the backlog of it.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Do it all. I support black owned business.

• 14:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:30Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Kanye.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  I got every Diddy. I got Diddy fucking oil.

• 14:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:38Andrew Santino?

  When I went on the website, I was like, there's no way this is real, when it was still up. And sure enough, it was there for $20.

• 14:44Bobby Lee?

  But I have empathy for him.

• 14:45Andrew Santino?

  I want to, you do?

• 14:47Bobby Lee?

  Well, he's definitely going through some mental illness.

• 14:50Andrew Santino?

  Okay, you only get one of these.

• 14:52Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 14:52Andrew Santino?

  He's done it too many times. No, dude, he's done this way too many times.

• 14:55Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, so, but he hasn't, he hasn't addressed his mental illness?

• 14:59Andrew Santino?

  You get one Nazi explosion.

• 15:02Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 15:02Andrew Santino?

  You get one.

• 15:03Bobby Lee?

  Where I come from, you get six. You get six Nazi explosions where I come from, okay? So it's like.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  Where I come from, you can't even, you can't even buy a condo unless you've had a Nazi.

• 15:14Bobby Lee?

  Right, right, right.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:16Andrew Santino?

  All these shirts, if we traced where they went, they all went to Staten Island.

• 15:18Speaker 04

  That's it.

• 15:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But there's no empathy, there's no empathy there. I mean, let's be real for a second.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Well, he's, but I get what you mean, but I agree with Andrew in the sense that if this was the first time he ever did this and he came out of left field, he'd be like, okay, let's get this guy to the hospital.

• 15:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 04

  But this is like the 30th time he's done something like this. Yeah. He is a genius musically, though.

• 15:34Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 15:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  Just like Hitler was a genius, uh, in speech, in free speech.

• 15:38Bobby Lee?

  Right. But do you think that his mental illness has something to do with his talent?

• 15:43Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 15:43Bobby Lee?

  Like, the reason why he, like, he's accessing things as, I don't, I don't know much about mental illness.

• 15:47Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 15:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:48Andrew Santino?

  He's gone.

• 15:49Bobby Lee?

  He's, he's long gone.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  I think this is him grasping for reality and grasping for relevance because he is so lost. He thinks, this is how I, I get pop, get a pop again. Dude, he did, he, he bit into the system. He dated the most famous woman in the world, made a family with her. And then when he realized that he wasn't really making music as much anymore, and no one cared about his music because other artists overshadowed him. He was like, well, I need another pop. So he does this just to make noise again, so someone goes, so we're doing this, Kanye, Kanye. So it's out again.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's what, like, that's why he had his girl dress in that, like, naked, see-through lingerie. On the red carpet.

• 16:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he trolls her around naked. Look, open that up again.

• 16:29Speaker 04

  Look at that.

• 16:29Andrew Santino?

  Wait, go back. No, no, no, go back, Carlos. This is, this is Distefano's buddy's post. So he posted Golf of America.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:35Andrew Santino?

  And then zoom in, Mark Elias wrote, bring your beautiful butt back to Long Beach, there's a shortage of handsome men here.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  And we've always thought this guy may be kinda gay. And then so we said, hey, what about that? And then he just hasn't responded.

• 16:48Andrew Santino?

  That's so funny.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Cause he thought he was just sending the Golf of America post.

• 16:53Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  What a dick.

• 16:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, Kanye went, he went.

• 16:56Speaker 04

  He went nuts. And then he wears this see-through lingerie shift with his girl on the red carpet. And that's, that's what I'm gonna wear on Kimmel tomorrow.

• 17:02Andrew Santino?

  Are you doing, are you doing Kimmel tomorrow?

• 17:04Speaker 04

  I'm doing Kimmel tomorrow and I forgot, I don't have an outfit, I'm just gonna wear this.

• 17:06Andrew Santino?

  Just wear that nut shirt.

• 17:07Bobby Lee?

  Are you doing stand-up or just a guest?

• 17:08Speaker 04

  No, just a guest.

• 17:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, cool.

• 17:10Speaker 04

  Promoting my special on Hulu, comes out February 21st.

• 17:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's amazing.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Andrew's got a special coming out on time.

• 17:14Andrew Santino?

  Him too, he did.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Oh, and Bobby. And guess what? And hey, guess what? They, one comic a month, one comic a month for 12 months, and guess what they gave me? Black History Month.

• 17:23Andrew Santino?

  God bless.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  That should tell you something. That they believe, they believe in me to get the Black vote, not Roy Wood Jr., they believe in me.

• 17:29Andrew Santino?

  When, when has Roy's come out?

• 17:30Speaker 04

  It already came out. Came out already. Yeah, so they could've easily just given.

• 17:33Andrew Santino?

  They could've switched you guys.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they, yeah, they could've given me my month, January 6th, and they said they gave it to Roy.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  They did a reversal.

• 17:41Andrew Santino?

  They did a reverse.

• 17:42Speaker 04

  Roy came out in January and I came out in February.

• 17:44Andrew Santino?

  They're trying to break, they're trying to break the norms.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 17:46Andrew Santino?

  And I like it.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  I like it.

• 17:48Andrew Santino?

  I like it a lot.

• 17:50Andrew Santino?

  This guy's excited. He gets to shoot his special at the end of the year.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  Ooh, where are you gonna shoot it?

• 17:55Bobby Lee?

  I don't know what's going on.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  Where are you gonna shoot it?

• 17:57Bobby Lee?

  San Diego, I think.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 17:59Andrew Santino?

  Gotta shoot it at home.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  Why in San Diego?

• 18:01Bobby Lee?

  I'm from there. I was from there. I was raised there. I, uh, I've been a little stressed out about it because I've never done the special, so I'm like kinda trying to map it out, but it's, it's hard.

• 18:08Andrew Santino?

  You should shoot it at Poway High.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  I think that'd be the coolest thing in the world.

• 18:12Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 18:12Andrew Santino?

  At the school that didn't put you in the Hall of Fame.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  You should shoot it on Hamburger Hill.

• 18:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, in Vietnam?

• 18:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:18Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  That'd be sick, dude, with one of those big straw hats.

• 18:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:22Andrew Santino?

  Poway High, we should shoot it in the auditorium.

• 18:23Bobby Lee?

  And then somebody asked me, "Do you have a theme? Do you have a theme?"

• 18:26Speaker 04

  No.

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  What is it? What do you mean a theme?

• 18:28Bobby Lee?

  Someone's like, "Well, do you have a theme of your podcast, uh, your, your special?" I go, "Um, I need a theme?"

• 18:32Speaker 04

  No, I take my fucking clothes off and I dance around in my underwear for my clothes are. That's what I do.

• 18:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I feel like, is that an attack?

• 18:40Speaker 04

  No.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I think that's an attack, dude.

• 18:43Speaker 04

  No.

• 18:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you have yellow teeth.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  I do. You have yellow skin.

• 18:50Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  I do have yellow.

• 18:52Bobby Lee?

  Touche.

• 18:52Andrew Santino?

  I think.

• 18:53Bobby Lee?

  Touche, my friend.

• 18:53Andrew Santino?

  I think you should, remember when I first.

• 18:59Andrew Santino?

  When I first met you, you still were in those like boxer, those tighty whities?

• 19:02Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 19:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:03Andrew Santino?

  I think you should have a big, huge pair of underwear onstage, like stained underwear hanging, like a massive one.

• 19:09Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:10Andrew Santino?

  And you're in the ball sack portion and you come out of it, "It's me!"

• 19:14Speaker 04

  That'd be sick.

• 19:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  That'd be sick.

• 19:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Andrew Santino?

  When I, I met you, you used to wear tighty whities.

• 19:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know. I kinda.

• 19:21Andrew Santino?

  You still do?

• 19:22Bobby Lee?

  I don't know what I'm wearing now.

• 19:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, when I met you, you did. Yeah, sure.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  See, you look good. You really do. You lost, wow, look, look at your fucking junk, dude. You have a really like, a relatively big penis and big balls. You have a big package overall.

• 19:35Andrew Santino?

  Well.

• 19:35Bobby Lee?

  Well, God bless you, sir.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  You have like optimum.

• 19:37Bobby Lee?

  God bless you. God bless you, sir.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  No, you really do. And you're always very nice to me in the, and I remember when you took me out for sushi in New York, you're always very, very nice to me.

• 19:44Bobby Lee?

  What, you know why?

• 19:45Speaker 04

  Why?

• 19:46Bobby Lee?

  And I have, I have a saying. I'm gonna make it up.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 19:49Bobby Lee?

  Um, when you see brethren.

• 19:53Bobby Lee?

  Into other.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  No, no, you got it.

• 19:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, thank you.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  No, this is it.

• 19:56Bobby Lee?

  Can I get it? When you see brethren with two peas in a pod within each other, you have to really be.

• 20:04Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 20:05Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 20:05Bobby Lee?

  Don't you think though?

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 20:06Bobby Lee?

  But don't you think, guys?

• 20:07Speaker 04

  I remember.

• 20:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  The very first time.

• 20:09Bobby Lee?

  Put that as a shirt. Poetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  I remember the very first time I met Bobby. We met on the Opie and Anthony show and he was very nice to me and he sat down and took me out right after the Opie and Anthony show and talked to me about comedy and how this is really hard venture to do and congratulations for getting into and all and all this serious talk when just moments before, I'm talking about maybe 15 minutes before, he was eating bull dick on Opie and Anthony. They had literally Bull's penis and he was taking bites out of it and then he was telling me to take comedy seriously 15 minutes later at a TJF Fridays in Times Square.

• 20:45Bobby Lee?

  I remember, I remember.

• 20:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Everyone in the, almost everyone in these photos are dead.

• 20:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Wait, wait, really?

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Vic.

• 20:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  Uh, Carl, unfortunately, that whoever that top magician guy is.

• 20:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  Sure he's dead.

• 20:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 04

  That top magician guy, were you in the room with us when this top magician guy on Opie and Anthony?

• 21:02Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  So I forgot what his name was, but anyway, he has this trick where it's like, you know, like a magical card trick, whatever, and then like you're like blown away and then you're like points over there and the card was like on the wall outside the studio. And so, and this is like his trick, but he's got like someone who helps him do it, whatever. And like, it's all distractions and Club Soda Kenny, you guys know Club Soda Kenny, right? Club Soda Kenny, who was like the security guard for Opie and Anthony forever, because he just doesn't like that shit. And while we were all distracted over here, Club Soda Kenny saw the helper put the card on the wall and Club Soda Kenny took it off.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  The guy pointed at the wall and it wasn't that, Club Soda Kenny was like, I got the card.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  And he ruined this kid's life.

• 21:43Bobby Lee?

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• 21:51Andrew Santino?

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• 22:07Bobby Lee?

  The new gold standard is here with Robinhood Gold. To receive your 3% boost on annual IRA contributions, sign up at robinhood.com/gold.

• 22:16Andrew Santino?

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• 22:39Bobby Lee?

  Shopify! You guys, if you have business online, if you're not with Shopify, you die.

• 22:44Andrew Santino?

  You die if you're not with Shopify.

• 22:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not-so-secret secret with Shop Pay that boosts conversions up to 50%.

• 22:57Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. So if you're growing your business, you're at the beginning, you're way in the latter stages of it, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whenever, wherever your customers are scrolling and strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, everywhere in between. If you're selling stuff the way we do, we sell merch to you guys, fan-created stuff and custom stuff for you guys. We gotta use Shopify. That is the only way that this business gets your business.

• 23:22Bobby Lee?

  When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like ALO or Allbirds or Skims, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the businesses making selling and for shoppers and buying simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify.

• 23:40Andrew Santino?

  A lot of businesses that business on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as Allbirds and Skims and ALO that they use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/badfriends, all lowercase.

• 23:53Bobby Lee?

  That's Shopify.com/badfriends.

• 23:56Andrew Santino?

  Go to Shopify.com/badfriends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/badfriends.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  You ever see like the World War II United States, like generation, like Japanese propaganda, like to be scared of them, like how they would make Asian people?

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Just Google like World War II Japanese propaganda, American, you got, look at the faces that they used to make on these. I gotta, I hope we can find them. They are, it's fucking insane. I mean, this is one of them like.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  Little kids posters.

• 24:26Bobby Lee?

  That's the most insulting photo.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Look at that.

• 24:28Bobby Lee?

  I can't even look at it. You, wow.

• 24:31Andrew Santino?

  Look at what it says. Jappy so happy when this happens to you.

• 24:36Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God, it's so racist. Give me another one. I love them.

• 24:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's so, what does it say? Watch out for the driver?

• 24:41Bobby Lee?

  Those are fine.

• 24:43Andrew Santino?

  Dude, that's insane.

• 24:44Bobby Lee?

  That's insane, dude.

• 24:46Andrew Santino?

  Jappy so happy.

• 24:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, yeah, they, they have so many.

• 24:51Andrew Santino?

  Don't, don't blab. Lose traps, help the Japs.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  That's what it is.

• 24:55Andrew Santino?

  Lose traps, help the Japs. So don't.

• 24:57Bobby Lee?

  Dude, go down, go down a bit.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's a bunch of them.

• 25:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh my, what's with the teeth?

• 25:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what they would do.

• 25:05Andrew Santino?

  Well, they all got veneers early on.

• 25:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Is that Joe Coy?

• 25:11Andrew Santino?

  Look at this. This is their big slogan. Open trap, make happy Jap.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God. Wow.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Jesus. Or did you ever see that, like from the eighties, that German commercial?

• 25:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh my, well, what's this?

• 25:20Andrew Santino?

  This is the enemy. He's carrying like a passed out white woman.

• 25:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God.

• 25:24Speaker 04

  It's brutal.

• 25:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Or just recently in the eighties, there's that German commercial, it was going viral, German commercial about like washing a Chinese person, like they put.

• 25:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I saw that.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  You ever seen that one?

• 25:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  It's crazy. I don't know if we could play it, but it was nuts.

• 25:37Andrew Santino?

  Tokyo kids say.

• 25:38Bobby Lee?

  The teeth get bigger and bigger. Oh my God.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:40Andrew Santino?

  Wash up early, rush outdoor, give Jap time for win war.

• 25:44Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 25:45Andrew Santino?

  Jesus.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  That's how we used to roll.

• 25:47Andrew Santino?

  I'd like to meet this artist.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. Does he does fly, does he do flyers?

• 25:50Andrew Santino?

  Can he do Bad Friends flyers?

• 25:52Speaker 04

  Can he do, yeah.

• 25:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's okay. That's my dad.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  That's what it is.

• 25:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah, there we go.

• 25:58Andrew Santino?

  The propaganda stuff is, is, by the way, people are gonna look back in a hundred years, look at our propaganda. We just don't know ours yet.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  Right.

• 26:05Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean?

• 26:06Bobby Lee?

  No, no, explain.

• 26:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, we gotta have propaganda shit out there that's so digital, under the radar. We don't even know it's happening.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  You know what I think is a big thing like that we're doing right now?

• 26:14Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 26:15Speaker 05

  Top Gun. Wouldn't that be considered propaganda for the military?

• 26:18Andrew Santino?

  Top Gun, the movie?

• 26:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, like even the Navy gave Tom Cruise an award this year.

• 26:22Andrew Santino?

  But not the new one, the old one maybe. The new one's just fodder. Now, the OG one was-

• 26:28Speaker 06

  The new Secretary of, uh, the Minister of Defense, whatever his name, the guy from Fox wants the Top Gun people to do their commercials and everything for it.

• 26:35Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 26:36Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Really?

• 26:37Andrew Santino?

  Well, the movie was great.

• 26:38Speaker 06

  Right.

• 26:38Speaker 04

  It really was.

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  It was so good, dude.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:40Andrew Santino?

  It was so good. Top Gun was, I went into it being like, is this gonna be as good as Top Gun, the original? It was just as good.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  Maverick was so good.

• 26:47Andrew Santino?

  It was incredible.

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  It was so good.

• 26:48Andrew Santino?

  And by the way, less, less gay, cuz the first one, the thing I loved the most about it was all the gay stuff.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:53Andrew Santino?

  And they took that out.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:55Andrew Santino?

  They took out all the gay stuff.

• 26:56Speaker 04

  I would be edging myself every time the plane went up and before they could pass out, I would just fucking-

• 27:02Andrew Santino?

  You would not as soon as they broke the sound barrier?

• 27:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was me, as soon as they broke the sound barrier.

• 27:07Andrew Santino?

  I mean, it was, this was a gay love story.

• 27:08Speaker 04

  It was.

• 27:09Andrew Santino?

  We've talked about-

• 27:09Bobby Lee?

  What Top Gun was?

• 27:12Andrew Santino?

  Haven't we talked about this? This was a gay love story.

• 27:14Bobby Lee?

  I never talked about it with you.

• 27:15Andrew Santino?

  It's 100% a gay love story. It's an unrequited gay love story.

• 27:17Bobby Lee?

  I never saw it.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  That's why it's called Top Gun.

• 27:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:20Bobby Lee?

  I saw Maverick, I didn't see the first-

• 27:21Andrew Santino?

  Bottom Gun.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  Bottom Gun.

• 27:23Andrew Santino?

  You never saw the first one?

• 27:24Bobby Lee?

  I saw Maverick, that was good.

• 27:25Andrew Santino?

  Wow. I'm shocked you never-

• 27:27Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about the gay story.

• 27:28Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, look, they have these like beach volleyball scenes and it's also this love relationship between Maverick and Goose, right? No, and Iceman.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:38Andrew Santino?

  And it's like this beautiful, like, unrequited love story. They can't, they can't be in love, so he's gotta pretend to like that girl.

• 27:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I saw this.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 27:45Bobby Lee?

  I remember.

• 27:45Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't like that.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  Could you imagine that girl, the woman who was like in the first Top Gun? She just got so old and out of shape that they just couldn't put her in the second one?

• 27:53Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 27:54Andrew Santino?

  What was her name?

• 27:54Speaker 04

  They had to replace her with someone else. That's gotta feel awful though.

• 27:57Andrew Santino?

  She looks great.

• 27:58Bobby Lee?

  No, there was another photo, that's not, no, find a different one. There was one photo I was like, what? Oh, yeah, I mean-

• 28:05Andrew Santino?

  She doesn't look bad. Is that the girl that wrote Harry Potter?

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:12Andrew Santino?

  God, she was a dime, dude. I remember watching that being like, phew. The amount of movies that Tom Cruise made that I jerked off to, like Jerry Maguire, I used to jerk, I had that VHS.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  All day.

• 28:21Andrew Santino?

  That first.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  When Cuba Gooding Jr. Comes Out Naked.

• 28:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  Give me the money, Jerry! Money, he's like, I air, he's like, I'll air dry him like that.

• 28:28Bobby Lee?

  My favorite was Rain Man, Rain Man.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Oh, love it. Come on, Dustin!

• 28:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I jerked off to that.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  Jerk off to that.

• 28:34Andrew Santino?

  Paymark sucks, right?

• 28:36Speaker 04

  All fucking day, dude.

• 28:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Love jerking off to that.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  By the way, I just re-watched Tropic Thunder.

• 28:41Bobby Lee?

  So good.

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  I just watched it, just traveling again. Maybe one of the best movies, like, maybe one of the funniest, funniest movies I've seen in years.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Can I give a confession? I've never seen it.

• 28:51Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 28:51Bobby Lee?

  What? Oh, you gotta watch it.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  I gotta watch it. I'm gonna watch it in blackface.

• 28:56Andrew Santino?

  He was so good in it, though.

• 28:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, he was great. He was great in that, yeah.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Oh, Tom Cruise is the best.

• 29:00Andrew Santino?

  The guy, did you see his, during the Super Bowl, he was, he did the, he did like the, one of the intros or whatever, whatever that was for the pre-tape, you know?

• 29:08Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:09Andrew Santino?

  Dude, this guy, he's just saying a beautiful script, and I'm in. He's the last movie star.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  And he grew his hair out. His hair looks exactly like Bobby Lee's hair right now.

• 29:18Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, I think Timothy Chalamet is gonna get there.

• 29:20Andrew Santino?

  No, this guy's the last, original movie star.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Tom Cruise is the guy. I, I.

• 29:23Bobby Lee?

  I know, but eventually, you think Timothy Chalamet is the future?

• 29:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he is.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  He is, he is, but I don't know that you can have A-list movies, box office success like Tom Cruise had. I don't know if any of that will ever happen again. I really don't.

• 29:35Andrew Santino?

  Google Tom Cruise total box office.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  And look at his hair.

• 29:38Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta, let's take a guess, hold on. Tom Cruise total box office, I'm guessing he's upwards of.

• 29:43Bobby Lee?

  Billions.

• 29:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was gonna say five or six billion.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was gonna guess eight billion dollars for total box office success.

• 29:50Andrew Santino?

  Across everything. Go ahead, McCon, what is it? Twelve billion dollars.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  Wow, I got closer, what did I win?

• 29:55Bobby Lee?

  That's insane.

• 29:56Andrew Santino?

  A kiss from Fancy.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Oh, great, love it.

• 29:58Bobby Lee?

  Twelve billion dollars.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  You mean again?

• 30:01Andrew Santino?

  Highest, dude, twelve billion.

• 30:03Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Twelve schmilly.

• 30:05Andrew Santino?

  Look, no shot at Chalamet. He'll never reach that, only because the box office isn't earning like that anymore.

• 30:08Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying, though, but in, you know, relatively, though.

• 30:11Andrew Santino?

  Sammy Jackson's still topping the charts with fourteen billion. Scarlett.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  What?

• 30:14Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 30:15Andrew Santino?

  Robert Downey, fourteen. All the Avengers movies. Yeah, you gotta remember, it's all, these are the.

• 30:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  Oh, Zoe Saldana.

• 30:23Andrew Santino?

  If you took away the superhero films.

• 30:25Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 30:26Speaker 05

  Tom Cruise is the only one.

• 30:27Andrew Santino?

  Right. And Tom Cruise is in no su- well, arguably, he is the original superhero.

• 30:32Speaker 05

  Right.

• 30:32Andrew Santino?

  Right? It's hard to- he is. But it's not a- it's not a family franchise the way that Avengers is.

• 30:39Speaker 05

  Avengers or Avatar.

• 30:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:44Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 30:44Speaker 04

  There it is.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 30:46Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  Harry Potter and Two Girls One Cup, yeah. Seen him, been there. What's up, Bob? Drew, Chris.

• 30:53Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Phil. Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome Dr. Phil to the show. He just popped in. That is unexpected.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Had to put my tie on. Last time, I want to be clear. Can I get some more juice in the headphones, Bob? Uh, what's his name? The kid with the syndrome? What's his name?

• 31:08Andrew Santino?

  Whatever you want to call him.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Um, what does your mom call you?

• 31:13Andrew Santino?

  Fancy.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Why? What- you look like a Make-A-Wish kid.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  So fancy.

• 31:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow, you're coming in aggressive. I love it, Dr. Phil.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  Well, last time I was here, I was riding a gummy, a THC gummy.

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  I think we can cut to a clip. Great. You don't have it? Okay, well. Last time I was on a gummy and, uh, and I felt like I didn't bring it. Even though the episode, uh, I know got some downloads.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  And some uploads. But, but, um, I just wanted to be more myself today.

• 31:46Andrew Santino?

  Good.

• 31:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, good.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Good to see you.

• 31:47Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Phil, great to see you. Are you- are you someone that dabbles often in THC gummies?

• 31:51Speaker 03

  I try to. One time I took eighty milligrams of THC. I thought it was CBD, though. I was having some- my apnea machine didn't work. And so I popped in the, uh, what I thought was CBD. Next thing you know, I'm taking my hoodie off and I got stuck in it for four hours. I thought I was gonna fucking die. I watched nineteen episodes of Naked and Afraid.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  Fancy, I know you like that show, right?

• 32:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:14Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah.

• 32:15Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Phil, uh, I want to let you know, I don't know if you're aware, you probably should be, and you're very worldly and knowledgeable.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  I like to be on the internet as much as possible.

• 32:23Andrew Santino?

  I know, I heard. Uh, our good friend Chris Stefano here, sitting next to you.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  Love you. Big fan.

• 32:27Andrew Santino?

  I know you guys know each other. He's playing Madison Square Garden in New York City on nine eleven.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Boy, that-

• 32:33Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Nine ten, nine ten was taken?

• 32:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  But you know, here's what I love about you. Yeah, that's like, that's like, uh, that's like, that's like, that's like fucking your ex in front of your wife on Valentine's Day.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what I did. That's what I did. And I, you know, it's nine 11 that tickets aren't sale. The pre-sale code is Hamas.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  We'll be right back. That is a great, uh, first of all, I'm a big fan. I'm sitting here with three of the best comics working today, but, uh, the garden, that's a, you know, I, I, I once got a handjob in a secret garden.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 03

  Well, it was the movie, but, uh, I was 15, you know, TMI, YOLO.

• 33:12Bobby Lee?

  No, I just finally got nine 10 was taken. That was funny. I just got, I just clicked.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  I knew a couple that got married on nine 11 because it was, it was cheaper. Like no, uh, no rabbi or priest wanted to touch anybody or,

• 33:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  or do a prayer because I thought it was an appropriate, uh, inappropriate day. But, you know, uh, time, you know, we've moved on, you know?

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Yeah. Dr. Phil, I heard there's a rumor on the internet that you're converting to Judaism.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Well, look, most rumors, uh, are true.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Remember when there was that rumor that Tom Hanks was snorting Ibuprofen in the back of a Chuck E. Cheese?

• 33:46Speaker 04

  I heard that. Yes, I remember that.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, you guys are good at improv, but,

• 33:52Speaker 03

  but my favorite.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, hey, guys.

• 33:55Speaker 04

  Say yes.

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, we said yes.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying.

• 33:57Bobby Lee?

  We're standing there. Okay.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what fucking improv is.

• 34:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Bob, I love you. And about that rumor, uh, Andrew is, uh, look, I've been to quite a few bar mitzvahs, only a few bat mitzvahs. I'd like to get more bat mitzvah invites in 2025, but I've, uh, you know, have I been to a circumcision? Yeah. Uh, have I, uh, fucked a fat Jewish gal? Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Uh, have I had a kegel, uh, or kugel, kugel, a Jew?

• 34:25Speaker 04

  Cougar?

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Well, I've had cougar, but kegel, uh, kugel is the noodle. It's a Passover, uh, food. It's a Passover.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  It's the Jew food that's like squishy, uh, fish, but.

• 34:36Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, kugel.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  It's like lasagna for Jews. It's called, I said kegel. We'll edit this out. I meant kugel. So I've, I've done it all. So I figure, I figure why not just jump in to the deep end without a life preserver? I've swam with sharks, you know? I've done a dolphin mating call just to impress a girl that I thought was a guy, you know?

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 34:56Speaker 04

  We'd like to hear it.

• 34:57Andrew Santino?

  The dolphin mating call?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Well, this will be the first time I've ever done it live, so apologies if it's not spot on. But basically, it was a girl that I thought was a guy. And my friend said, you know, he's really into dolphins.

• 35:10Bobby Lee?

  Dr. Phil, hold on. I'm gonna be a dolphin. I'll be a male dolphin. I'll be a female dolphin.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  Oh, I love this. Okay.

• 35:15Bobby Lee?

  Because I can do that.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  So, okay, yeah.

• 35:17Bobby Lee?

  I have this ability to like, you know, trans, you know.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  No, I've seen the dictator. You've got range.

• 35:22Bobby Lee?

  What? Not trans?

• 35:23Speaker 03

  No, I didn't say.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  So, let's just take it back a sec, Bobby.

• 35:28Bobby Lee?

  Whatever.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Okay. Yep.

• 35:30Bobby Lee?

  Can I just?

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:32Bobby Lee?

  Ready? I'm. Right?

• 35:36Bobby Lee?

  That's it. That's it.

• 35:38Andrew Santino?

  How good are we at improv now, Dr. Phil?

• 35:43Speaker 03

  I would actually love.

• 35:45Bobby Lee?

  Dude. We should have an improv group, dude.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  We should go.

• 35:48Bobby Lee?

  Amazing, dude.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  Here we go. What would be the name of our... If this was the foursome, and by the way, people would come watch this foursome, okay? Whether it was to change a light bulb, or put our fingers inside of each other, or take a suggestion from a crowd.

• 35:59Andrew Santino?

  I think it should be called Doctor's Orders.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Nice, Doctor's Orders.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  We'd come out in doc...

• 36:03Bobby Lee?

  You do dolphin.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Lab coats.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  I think, uh...

• 36:05Bobby Lee?

  You do dolphin.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  No.

• 36:09Andrew Santino?

  This guy's never seen a dolphin.

• 36:11Bobby Lee?

  Never seen a dolphin in your life.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  That was a kid being trapped in one of those Nordstrom... You know when kids used to hide under the clothes? That was the kid calling for his mom.

• 36:18Bobby Lee?

  Actually...

• 36:19Speaker 03

  But there was a kid... Shut up, Bobby. Shut up. There was a kidnapper under the clothes trying to cover... Go ahead, Bobby.

• 36:25Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember when kids tried to hide under the clothes.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 36:29Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Did you ever do that?

• 36:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah.

• 36:31Bobby Lee?

  Hide underneath... What clothes?

• 36:33Andrew Santino?

  The department store, they had these circular...

• 36:36Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I did that.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  Remember the rack of clothes?

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  I did that. I did that.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  That's how I would hide from my mom's boyfriends.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  Wait, hold on a second. That's what I'm talking about.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Preach.

• 36:45Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute. Your mom... Your dad owned a lady clothing store.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I remember. Yeah. What was it called?

• 36:50Bobby Lee?

  Fashion Gal.

• 36:51Andrew Santino?

  Fashion... Really? Yeah. Let Dr. Phil sit with that. Fashion gal. You didn't ever go to a fashion gal?

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Well, I did, but not to shop.

• 36:59Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 37:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's good.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Now, what kind of clothes and women? Who was the clientele? What was the?

• 37:05Bobby Lee?

  Fat ethnic women.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  Yep. I was gonna guess that, but I want you to say it.

• 37:09Andrew Santino?

  Samoans?

• 37:11Bobby Lee?

  Lain Bryant for like Samoans and stuff.

• 37:13Andrew Santino?

  Got it.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  Lain Bryant. Now, is Lain Bryant based on a true story? Like, is the, is this shot, is like, is that actually some tub? Like, is there a real Lain? Like, if you're a woman, your name's Elaine, you're already 0 for 2.

• 37:24Andrew Santino?

  Lain Bryant.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  But Bryant, it's like, I think of Lain Bryant, I think of Bryant Park, I think of Kobe Bryant. So I'm thinking of Big Stuff.

• 37:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, right. There's fashion gal right there.

• 37:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, my parents owned that.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  You sure that wasn't a rub and tug?

• 37:35Speaker 04

  What it looked like.

• 37:36Andrew Santino?

  It really does.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  I mean, look at the font. That's rub and tug font.

• 37:39Andrew Santino?

  Tell me that's your dad's Jag out front. Did your dad drive a Jag?

• 37:42Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  That's my Mazda Miata to the right.

• 37:44Bobby Lee?

  How is that on there? That's weird.

• 37:47Andrew Santino?

  This is a photo of someone took to a fashion gal who was a huge fan. And sad that it's gone.

• 37:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  What it is.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, RIP fashion gal.

• 37:53Andrew Santino?

  Rest in peace, fashion gal.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  And while we're at it, RIP Betty White.

• 37:57Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  Can we just, in the last?

• 38:00Andrew Santino?

  Is she dead?

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  No, she died.

• 38:02Andrew Santino?

  Oh, she died.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  I'm pretty sure. She is in that category of like her, Bob Barker, also RIP.

• 38:07Andrew Santino?

  RIP.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  And look, it's not just the Whites that are leaving us, but I think that there's something about what she did. Almost 100, right?

• 38:13Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  No, 101. I can't do math. What is that?

• 38:16Andrew Santino?

  She's 99.

• 38:17Speaker 04

  99.

• 38:17Bobby Lee?

  99.

• 38:18Speaker 03

  And?

• 38:20Speaker 03

  If you get to 100.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  She died in Brentwood. She was killed by OJ.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  What if OJ was? Wouldn't that be great if he was like, I swear I didn't do the first one, but this one was all me?

• 38:29Speaker 04

  I killed Betty White?

• 38:32Andrew Santino?

  Dude, unbelievable. She's fashion gal. She would shop at fashion gal.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  She definitely would.

• 38:35Andrew Santino?

  100%. You know what I just saw today?

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 38:38Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Motley Crue's private plane crash.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  I know.

• 38:41Andrew Santino?

  Today.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  Into what?

• 38:42Andrew Santino?

  Nobody was on it. Into another plane. No, no, somebody's girlfriend, Vince Neil's girlfriend was on it.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Oh, shit.

• 38:47Andrew Santino?

  And the pilot died. They all lived. Dude, this is-

• 40:52Speaker 03

  So funny.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  It was great.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  There's certain lines like that that are just so.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm a big, just like, I don't need a setup or a premise, just give me something like that.

• 41:01Andrew Santino?

  Give you some jazz like that.

• 41:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:03Bobby Lee?

  That was jazz comedy.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  One shot zinger.

• 41:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Beep bop, boop bop, that was jazz comedy.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:08Andrew Santino?

  Not just because he was a black comic.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  No.

• 41:11Andrew Santino?

  White comics can do jazz comedy too.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 41:13Andrew Santino?

  Mitch Hedberg was the king of jazz comedy.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 41:15Andrew Santino?

  That was a jazz comic.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:17Andrew Santino?

  Are you gonna try, are you doing stand-up now, Dr. Phil? There's a rumor that.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Well, we're doing a live tour, adamraycomedy.com for tickets.

• 41:22Andrew Santino?

  Who's that? Is that your agent?

• 41:23Speaker 03

  The guy, uh, sounds like it.

• 41:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  It's just the producer of the show. He also brings me crustables when I'm hungry.

• 41:29Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  But we're doing a big national city theater tour. Uh, yeah, you can go ahead and cut to it right there. We're going to, uh.

• 41:35Andrew Santino?

  You put the, go back.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  Denver, uh, Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, Nashville.

• 41:39Andrew Santino?

  Your agent on the main page there?

• 41:41Speaker 03

  He's been with me a hundred bucks.

• 41:43Andrew Santino?

  Sounds like a move.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  I'm, you know, I got enough cash, so now it's just about helping others out.

• 41:48Andrew Santino?

  You are flush with cash now, Dr. Phil.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Dude, that guy, go back there. This guy, cause that's your agent? That guy just looks like a fucking gay dude from Seattle.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  That's your agent? Normally they're like Jewy guys, but this guy's just like, literally like a, a fucking.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Well, you can be both. You can be Jewy and gay.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  He just looks like, like a cum gosling homo from Seattle.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  One thousand. Look at the way he's leaning on that, uh, thing. It's almost like he's leaning on a cock, you know?

• 42:12Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, like just a Seattle.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  In his mouth. He just saw a guy take his shirt off, you know?

• 42:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  He's like, oh, look at that set of, look at that shit.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  Oh, just like, he looks like he's just on his knees in the public market in Seattle, outside the original Starbucks.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  He looks like Fancy was on the balcony and goes, would you like to suck my penis? And then Adam goes, uh, no, I'm good. And then he kept pulling him down and he goes, on second thought.

• 42:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let it happen.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Let it happen.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Anyway, big national theater tour, yeah.

• 42:38Speaker 04

  Great.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  Surprise guests everywhere. They're all selling out, so just go get, go get your tickets and, uh, bring your family.

• 42:44Andrew Santino?

  While you still can.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  While you still can.

• 42:46Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Phil, I'm surprised you're still doing this, you're touring around because, and you're going all the way till October.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  Well, no, we're going till about July. October is, uh, where I think, uh, I put my dates on Adam Ray's stand-up dates. He's got a big fall stand-up tour, but the Dr. Phil Show goes through July. I think we end in Reno, as you do, uh, at the Grand Sierra Resort and Cum, uh, Cum Factory or something, whatever.

• 43:07Andrew Santino?

  God bless.

• 43:09Bobby Lee?

  What were you supposed to do, Dr. Phil?

• 43:11Speaker 03

  I think you guys are, well, the guests aren't announced, but you guys are on one.

• 43:14Andrew Santino?

  Well, are we? I don't know.

• 43:16Bobby Lee?

  Do you know?

• 43:16Andrew Santino?

  I have no idea. We'll find out.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  We'll find out. I was.

• 43:19Andrew Santino?

  We'll be right back.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  We'll keep it right here, but I think we can.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  We'll figure it out. You gotta go to Boston tomorrow and then, uh, once you get back from that.

• 43:27Andrew Santino?

  We'll talk. We'll talk. Dude, I had a, I had a harrowing moment in Vegas. Honestly, one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Recently?

• 43:34Andrew Santino?

  I just got back yesterday. I'm sitting at a table. I was like, I'm gonna gamble before I go to this gig. And I'm, I'm sitting at the table and this guy was so blacked out. And I mean, like, couldn't really, he was barely there. And I'm seeing him, I'm looking at his chip stack and I'm like, oh my God, dude, he's got thousand dollar chips, right? And then he's got, he's got the casino gives you credits, right? So they're throwing him $25,000 chip credits when he runs on them. Cause he's, he's running on money. He's just betting. He's not, he's smoking. He's laughing. He goes, who's the new guy to me? I go, hey, I'm Andrew. He goes, hey, I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck, man. And he's smoking. He's hitting on the wrong stuff. And then at some point, I said to the pit boss, I go, I gotta be honest with you. I think this is a little unfair. And he was like, what do you mean? I go, this guy's betting $10,000 hands, right?

• 44:16Andrew Santino?

  And he's doubling down. He's splitting them all and he's losing four, I'm watching him lose 40 grand, 80 grand. I'm not kidding. Within, let's just say 10 minutes. Let's say 10 minutes, quarter of a million bucks out the window. And he stood up, went and smoked. And I go, you're gonna cut that guy off, right? And the pit boss goes, we're familiar with him. He's gonna be able to keep playing. I was like, are you just robbing this guy?

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:37Andrew Santino?

  You're literally robbing this guy.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Oh, I saw a guy blackout in the Tropicana, R I P. Got knocked down for a baseball stadium to the Jesus Most and Holy Ghost. But he, uh, he was throwing his roulette chips across the casino. Oh, no, it was dice. He was doing craps, threw his dice blackout. Like, imagine like just being like, like, what if you were like trying to mock a child, right? And the kid was like, do you have a quarter for the wishing well? You were like, yeah. And you had it. And then you go fucking suck your own dick and you tossed it? That's the way he was throwing the dice. And the, the, the security went and got the dice, I swear to God, and put it back in his hand.

• 45:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  And I remember being like, he's, he doesn't know where he is. And they're like, yeah, but he, he's, he wants to double down.

• 45:13Andrew Santino?

  That's why there's no state income tax in Nevada. Cause of that guy. Cause of that guy. It's the greatest country in the world. Dr. Phil, you really wanted to be engaged with something. Bobby Lee, a huge NFL football fan, big fan of the Super Bowl. He went out to Jake Paul's Super Bowl party.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  I heard.

• 45:25Andrew Santino?

  To party with Jake Paul.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  How was it?

• 45:27Andrew Santino?

  Who won that game, by the way?

• 45:28Bobby Lee?

  I didn't, I was on a plane back.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Well, did you watch the game?

• 45:31Speaker 04

  You went for the Super Bowl party to not watch the game?

• 45:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I went to the, I got that plane back.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  So you went to the party on what day?

• 45:37Bobby Lee?

  Sunday.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  That's when the game was?

• 45:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  So you left during the game?

• 45:40Bobby Lee?

  It started, I went bye bye, and I got on a flight.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  So you walked in?

• 45:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because, you know, I, I went there.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  Is that Dolphin, that was a Dolphin?

• 45:48Bobby Lee?

  What, what, the what?

• 45:50Speaker 04

  I thought it was a Dolphin.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  Here comes a lie, Dr. Phil. Strap in.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  Okay, I can tell.

• 45:56Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so we went there to pod with him. And then, you know, when this party started, we got on a flight and we went home. Carlos was with me, he could defend me.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  What, what, what is he defending?

• 46:05Bobby Lee?

  He, I wasn't there to do, watch the Super Bowl. I didn't even know what the Super Bowl was.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  You were there to drink Prime Shots with Jake Paul?

• 46:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I went and did a pod and then we left.

• 46:13Speaker 04

  And you don't know what the Super Bowl is?

• 46:15Bobby Lee?

  Well, I know what it is, but I don't know who was playing. I found out it sounded the Eagles, Philadelphia and the Kansas City Chiefs.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  Can you do an eagle?

• 46:23Speaker 03

  Yep, pretty close.

• 46:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  It sounds like the Dolphin.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  It's like, yeah.

• 46:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  It's a Dolphin trying to fly.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Okay, that's very impressive.

• 46:32Bobby Lee?

  Let me really try.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  What about a Chief? Could you do a Chief?

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Well, this is gonna get dicey.

• 46:41Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, I can't do a Chief. I've never seen it. I've never seen it.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 46:49Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Just kidding. Madison Square Garden, September 11.

• 46:56Bobby Lee?

  Prime Evil, Prime Evil.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  Right here and right here.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Prime Evil, do you see that?

• 47:00Speaker 04

  No, I heard it's fucking great.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  So good, though. Is, uh, I got a Jake Paul question.

• 47:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Cause I watched that fight with Tyson, and then, uh, you know, they're big on the promo videos, right? They put out a video of him and Logan being like, I fucking, I was, I was born with this guy, and now I wanna fucking kill him. And that, I got, that got my attention, Chris.

• 47:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Cause I've been dying to see two brothers just fight to the death, you know? Um, Luke and Owen Wilson, been waiting for that to happen.

• 47:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  Shit, I don't know. Name another brother combo, Chris.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Oh, McCauley Culkin and Karen.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  And Karen, yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Karen Culkin.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  And Rory, do three way.

• 47:34Andrew Santino?

  He let him go.

• 47:35Bobby Lee?

  I need a throughway.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  Oh, what about Eric versus Lyle Menendez?

• 47:39Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 47:39Speaker 04

  Love. They give them, God, they blow their heads off. Loser gets their head blown off.

• 47:44Andrew Santino?

  Shotgun to shotgun.

• 47:45Bobby Lee?

  Alec and Billy Baldwin?

• 47:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a good one.

• 47:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 47:48Andrew Santino?

  Where's Steven in that?

• 47:50Bobby Lee?

  He's with Corey Culkin or what's his name?

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  Rory Culkin?

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  Rory Culkin.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  Rory Culkin.

• 47:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. David Hawking, Stephen Hawking?

• 47:57Andrew Santino?

  Ooh.

• 47:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  What about, what about, what about Barack versus Michelle Obama?

• 48:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that would be a good one.

• 48:05Andrew Santino?

  Okay, how about, how about, how about fraternal twins? How about like, um?

• 48:10Bobby Lee?

  How about conjoined? I'll raise you.

• 48:12Andrew Santino?

  Ooh.

• 48:12Bobby Lee?

  Brittany, well, I only know one.

• 48:14Andrew Santino?

  Those girls.

• 48:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:15Andrew Santino?

  The girls that are tied together.

• 48:16Bobby Lee?

  I'd pay, can I be honest? I'd pay upwards of $60,000 to watch them fight. Was it Brittany and Abby?

• 48:24Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 48:24Bobby Lee?

  But it's, who has the bigger head? That's the person that's gonna win. No, it's not true. You do side bots. Okay, that's very true. You have to do side bots. Yeah, I'll take it back.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  And what is it? One of them's married and one's not?

• 48:34Bobby Lee?

  One of them's married, but they both get to get played with, I think.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  Do they have one vagina?

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  No, I think it's two. No, they have one. Well, let's cut to a clip. Yeah, yeah. And also this, you know this, right? They control their individual arms.

• 48:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:48Bobby Lee?

  Right? But they have individual legs, so they have to coordinate. Imagine. So they're just constantly marching? So one person going, right, right, right, right.

• 48:55Andrew Santino?

  I don't think they need to tell each other.

• 48:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think they just know. In their mind.

• 48:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sure.

• 48:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause they still got brains, Bobby. Yeah, I understand. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Look at it.

• 49:05Andrew Santino?

  Imagine one of them's just not in the mood to hook up and you just gotta be there.

• 49:09Bobby Lee?

  So, so here's, here's what throws me off. One bladder.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:13Bobby Lee?

  But, and one urethra, but two kidneys. Two sti- okay, two stomachs, that's.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Two stomachs, what are they like Jeff Ross?

• 49:24Speaker 04

  September 11, 2025, Madison Square Garden.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Oh my god, I like the way you advertise.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  That's it, baby.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, you go hard and then you go deep.

• 49:31Speaker 04

  That's what it is.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  Fucking best, dude.

• 49:33Bobby Lee?

  So funny.

• 49:34Andrew Santino?

  Dude, that is, that is crazy. So we should set up Dr. Phil Presents, uh, uh, Family Feuds, Family Fights, Family Real Fights.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  I, I, I would love, look, I'm trying to get out of the daytime game. I'm obviously in the nighttime game, but I would love to host a show. I tried to host Kids Say the Darnedest Things.

• 49:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  We had this, uh, we had this kid on, Nathan, from like Burbank, right? And he said the N-word in the first 15 minutes.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Wow, wow, wow.

• 49:56Speaker 03

  So, and he wasn't even using it in like a funny story or context.

• 49:59Andrew Santino?

  Well, like Carlos does. Go ahead, Carlos.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, Carlos, the floor is yours. Thanks a lot, Carlos.

• 50:03Andrew Santino?

  Do one of those funny N-word stories that you do all the time.

• 50:05Speaker 06

  Question for Dr. Phil.

• 50:07Andrew Santino?

  Hold on, we have a question for Dr. Phil from the booth.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Fancy, go ahead.

• 50:11Speaker 06

  Do you have dinner at STK in San Diego?

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Did I? Or would I? What the fuck are you asking me right now? Did I?

• 50:19Speaker 06

  Did you have dinner?

• 50:21Speaker 03

  When?

• 50:21Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Phil, this is actually a really, a really good question.

• 50:24Speaker 06

  Recently.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  In STK?

• 50:26Andrew Santino?

  STK, the steakhouse in San Diego, did you have dinner there?

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Well, I've had dinner with MGK at the Olive Garden. But let's go back to your question. STK, the steakhouse.

• 50:33Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you why he says it. We were at the STK in San Diego.

• 50:37Andrew Santino?

  We were.

• 50:37Bobby Lee?

  And the waitress, the waitress came up to our table and she was vaguely, vaguely familiar with us.

• 50:42Andrew Santino?

  She didn't know who we were.

• 50:43Bobby Lee?

  But she, yeah, yeah. I was trying to do it in a nice way.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  How does that make you feel? Cause you guys are pretty recognizable.

• 50:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and they.

• 50:50Andrew Santino?

  Couldn't fucking care less.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  But what really bothered me, I took.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  You thought it was Chuck Norris and Margaret Cho.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  September 11.

• 50:58Bobby Lee?

  I had a fork, I had a fork in my hand and, um, we said, we're comedians and she goes, you know who came in here was Adam Ray.

• 51:05Andrew Santino?

  Love Adam Ray.

• 51:05Bobby Lee?

  We love Adam Ray.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  That's what she said.

• 51:06Bobby Lee?

  And I took the fuck and went, what?

• 51:09Andrew Santino?

  You're Dr. Phil's agent?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Oh, my agent, yeah.

• 51:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, your agent.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Okay, uh, he did go there. It was, uh, yeah, that's right. It was, that's near the Andals, right?

• 51:16Speaker 04

  It's in the basement.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, the basement of the Andals and they have like shrimp tartare and they got, they like light up, they put, they put a Roman candle in your Kobe beef or something. Yeah, it's all fireworks and charades and charades and Gerard Smalls there. There's a lot of, um, there's a lot of fun flair. It's like an exciting time to be alive when you're there.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  She loved, she loved Adam Ray, she said.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Well, he took care of her, you know?

• 51:36Andrew Santino?

  Adam Ray was here, we loved, we loved Adam Ray. And then Bobby said, you know, look, we always leave more than 20%. Uh, but in this instance, uh, he goes, let's just leave 20. Just 20 for this one.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  I respect that.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  Do you like to eat out a lot?

• 51:51Andrew Santino?

  Let's go to the phones.

• 51:53Speaker 04

  Bobby likes eating out a lot.

• 51:54Bobby Lee?

  Every meal is out.

• 51:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't cook.

• 51:57Bobby Lee?

  I don't cook.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  But do you order in or do you go out?

• 52:00Bobby Lee?

  I usually Postmates or DoorDash.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  What's your favorite DoorDash order?

• 52:04Bobby Lee?

  Every day is a different day.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 52:06Speaker 04

  Bobby, you look like you eat a lot of chicken fingers and applesauce.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  You look good, Bobby.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  You do.

• 52:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you're saying I'm fat?

• 52:13Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  You've gone like this since the last time I've seen you.

• 52:16Speaker 04

  No, you don't understand. I'm saying that you have, you eat, you're fun the way you eat. And you eat like you're very young and youthful in the way you eat. You're not here eating quinoa.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  By the way, worst diet therapist of all time. Imagine sitting down with him, he's like, "You're not fat, you're just, your tits are getting longer."

• 52:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're not fat, you're just young.

• 52:34Bobby Lee?

  So I had another one of those vomits. So when we flew in from Miami, I went and got Chinese, no, not because, but I took Wegovy.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Wegovy.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Who's, wait, what?

• 52:46Bobby Lee?

  Wegovy.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  Is that Korean Ozempic?

• 52:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's Korean Ozempic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  Also, it's my Xbox screen.

• 52:51Bobby Lee?

  So I was eating, I was sitting at my kitchen table.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  No, Ugovy.

• 52:54Bobby Lee?

  And I started eating, I started eating the food.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  And then I just...

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Diarrhea.

• 53:00Bobby Lee?

  No, the whole table was red vomit.

• 53:05Speaker 04

  What?

• 53:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Did you blackout when you?

• 53:07Bobby Lee?

  And then I ran to the fucking thing and I vomited all over the fucking kitchen sink.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  You were throwing up blood?

• 53:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 05

  Bobby?

• 53:12Speaker 03

  Bobby, that's bad.

• 53:13Speaker 05

  That happened to me when I landed. I went to McDonald's on Manchester and I threw up while driving on Los Angeles.

• 53:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so what did we eat?

• 53:20Andrew Santino?

  That's the last time we're going to PF Chang's, I'll tell you that.

• 53:22Speaker 05

  Crab fried rice.

• 53:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's why it was the crab.

• 53:24Speaker 04

  No, you might have got the norovirus to have that.

• 53:26Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, it was crab fried rice, I was just gonna say that.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because that just sounds scary, the noro. No, but we...

• 53:31Speaker 05

  I threw up too.

• 53:32Bobby Lee?

  Did you really? Thank God, because I was like, "What the fuck is going on?"

• 53:35Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 53:36Bobby Lee?

  And the red was because of the Skittles, it wasn't because of the...

• 53:38Speaker 04

  There's no blood?

• 53:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I had like red licorice and Skittles.

• 53:40Andrew Santino?

  I get concerned about the blood then.

• 53:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's not blood. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Oh, boy.

• 53:54Bobby Lee?

  Birthday, dear.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Oh, boy, bad friends.

• 53:58Bobby Lee?

  Happy birthday to you.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  Five years.

• 54:05Andrew Santino?

  We're five years old.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  As of today?

• 54:07Andrew Santino?

  Today.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  As of today, this episode.

• 54:08Andrew Santino?

  What kind of cake?

• 54:10Speaker 03

  Carrot.

• 54:10Andrew Santino?

  Carrot, for me.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:12Andrew Santino?

  Can I eat it with my hands? Yeah, get in there. Yeah.

• 54:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:15Andrew Santino?

  You know he will.

• 54:15Bobby Lee?

  We got it at the same supermarket that Bobby got his, you know.

• 54:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, go ahead.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Pregnancy test?

• 54:20Andrew Santino?

  Beautiful piece there. Delicious.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 54:23Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  You really did eat it with your hands. Can we blow it first, you fucking asshole?

• 54:27Andrew Santino?

  No, no, wait, make a w- let's do it together. No, you're sick. Go ahead and blow.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  What'd you wish for?

• 54:36Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 54:37Andrew Santino?

  Let me guess.

• 54:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Jake Paul.

• 54:41Andrew Santino?

  One's not enough? One Paul brother is just not enough for you? Get in there. Dr. Phil, would you like a piece of cake?

• 54:46Speaker 03

  No, I'm on Atkins. And now, being, uh, being involved for anything for five years is a big deal. Look at you. You're like a drunk chick eating Frosted Flakes at 4 a.m.

• 54:55Bobby Lee?

  So, five years, let's talk about the five years.

• 54:57Andrew Santino?

  Five years. Pretty incredible.

• 54:59Bobby Lee?

  The five year- I've never done anything for five years.

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  Stand up.

• 55:02Bobby Lee?

  Except for.

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  Stand up.

• 55:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:03Andrew Santino?

  I thought it was longer than five years, to be honest.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  You played FIFA for five.

• 55:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's true, that's true.

• 55:08Andrew Santino?

  Right?

• 55:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like.

• 55:08Andrew Santino?

  I thought it was much longer than five years.

• 55:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:10Andrew Santino?

  You only started, like, right in the beginning of the pandemic?

• 55:12Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 55:13Speaker 03

  Exactly. Congrats, guys.

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  Thank you so much. We're very happy and we want to thank the fans very much.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 55:18Andrew Santino?

  For being along for the ride for this. It's been incredible. And also get that there's cake on your headphones there, bub. Good boy. Good boy.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  This is closer, September 11th. Gonna lick cake off.

• 55:27Andrew Santino?

  He's gonna eat carrot cake on.

• 55:29Speaker 04

  I'm gonna eat, you know how Bob Levy, Reverend Bob Levy, he eat blue cheese?

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Out of somebody, I'm gonna eat carrot cake out of somebody's ass.

• 55:35Andrew Santino?

  Tell me this, what's your? What's, what's on your rider for Madison Square Garden? Great question.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Um, honestly?

• 55:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  To be honest, I'm gonna have a pizza from my local pizzeria, Joe and John's Pizzeria. Shout out Joe and John's Pizzeria.

• 55:46Andrew Santino?

  Staten Island?

• 55:47Speaker 04

  No, fucking Ridgewood Queens.

• 55:48Andrew Santino?

  Ridgewood Queens.

• 55:50Bobby Lee?

  What, what was the place where you took us?

• 55:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, in Staten was in Staten Island. That was that restaurant Staten Island. After we were at the apartment.

• 55:58Bobby Lee?

  We had pizza.

• 55:58Andrew Santino?

  We had pizza at that joint and it's in a, it's in the, it's in an apartment complex. It was on the first floor.

• 56:03Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. We went to, um, um, um.

• 56:06Andrew Santino?

  Staten Island.

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Staten Island.

• 56:07Bobby Lee?

  It was really good.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  I forgot the name now. Damn it.

• 56:09Bobby Lee?

  I'll always, that memory, I don't know why it's ingrained in, I liked it.

• 56:14Andrew Santino?

  I loved it.

• 56:14Bobby Lee?

  That was a pleasant day.

• 56:15Andrew Santino?

  Also a wonderful day that we had.

• 56:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  We did. That was a nice day.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  It was a nice day.

• 56:18Andrew Santino?

  In Pete Davidson's old apartment, right?

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Yes, I remember that. Yes, yes, yes. So that, that, but I want, I'm gonna have pizza and I'm gonna have, um.

• 56:26Bobby Lee?

  Gushers?

• 56:27Speaker 04

  Tequila. Gush, no, not gushers, dunkaroos.

• 56:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Dunkaroos and then I'm gonna have a cake from this German bakery that I love.

• 56:38Andrew Santino?

  Kanye? Kanye owns it?

• 56:40Speaker 04

  No, well, it's interesting you say that. It's a black forest cake and the reason why I'm gonna have that, I think it's simple.

• 56:44Andrew Santino?

  Dude, just say forest cake.

• 56:46Bobby Lee?

  No need to bring raisins to it.

• 56:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's insane.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  It's a Kanye forest cake and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna have it because this actual bakery, which is from Ridgewood, Queens, which is a historically German neighborhood, when the, remember when the Nazis sold out the garden in 1937? This bakery did the catering.

• 57:02Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow, wow.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  So it's symbolic.

• 57:05Andrew Santino?

  That's insane. They sold out the garden.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  They did.

• 57:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 57:08Speaker 04

  They did. And as a matter, that's gonna be my background is George.

• 57:12Andrew Santino?

  Is this real? The Nazis sold out the garden?

• 57:14Bobby Lee?

  They did, they did.

• 57:15Speaker 04

  Who was the opener?

• 57:16Andrew Santino?

  Who was the opener? Gerberl? Ladies and gentlemen, this next guy coming to us the stage to us colleges and clubs all over. It's Hitler.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  The man you came to see, it's Hitler.

• 57:33Andrew Santino?

  Guys, he's backstage right now. He can hear you. Put your hands together.

• 57:40Andrew Santino?

  What is Hitler's come out music? What was his walkout music? What did he, what did he come out?

• 57:45Bobby Lee?

  Aqua Barbie girl?

• 57:49Speaker 04

  He came out to, "Aw, freak out."

• 57:52Andrew Santino?

  Freak out.

• 57:54Andrew Santino?

  He loved Nelly. He was doing, "If you wanna go and take a ride with me."

• 57:58Speaker 03

  I thought you meant Nelly Furtado.

• 57:59Andrew Santino?

  There you go. Kanye breakfast.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  He came out to Kanye.

• 58:03Andrew Santino?

  He probably would.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  What a wild, what a wild guy, huh?

• 58:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  Only Nazi t-shirts now?

• 58:08Andrew Santino?

  They're gone though. They took them down. We looked earlier in the podcast. They're gone. So we were trying to buy, Carlos wanted to buy one.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  So now he's got no merch?

• 58:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, nothing. Nothing.

• 58:16Speaker 04

  But yeah, he doesn't even have a website, but he still sells more merch.

• 58:19Andrew Santino?

  But I did hear if you guys still want one of those swastika shirts, you can go to a Kill Tony Live. They are selling them there.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Made my mustache fall off.

• 58:32Andrew Santino?

  I gotta say this.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 58:34Andrew Santino?

  Of the five years we've been doing this show, little bit emotional reminiscing.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Please.

• 58:38Andrew Santino?

  It is genuinely from the bottom of my heart, the greatest thing that's ever happened to my career. And I mean it without any joke. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to my career and my life. And thank you to the fans.

• 58:49Speaker 04

  Thank you so much.

• 58:50Andrew Santino?

  It means the world to us.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  No, that's all, you guys are really, it really is amazing to see. I mean.

• 58:57Andrew Santino?

  Change, change our lives.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  You're the top pod?

• 59:00Andrew Santino?

  No, we're not at the top. We're just, we're just, we're humming along and the people that come along for the stupid ride with us, it's the best. It's the most, it's the most, you know, Dr. Phil, when you do shows, it's the best. The people that come along for the ride.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  It's wild. It's, it's cultish, but what you guys have created isn't just a fun backdrop, you know, you got diversity.

• 59:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  You got characters in the booth. The guest always has fun. The table is proportionate to your bodies. The live shows are fun. There's a pub shot every other night.

• 59:27Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  The banter between you is maybe the best, and again, not to get emotional, um, maybe the best banter out there. There was a time when I was a big like, you ever watch Sharon, Lois and Bram?

• 59:38Andrew Santino?

  Love Lois and Bram.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  They had great banter.

• 59:41Andrew Santino?

  Great.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  And then here comes, uh, you know, here comes, uh, Siskel and Ebert.

• 59:45Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Man, but they were on the wrong page more often than not. You guys always, yes, and you support, but you also encourage and you divulge in a way that most people can't, you know?

• 59:58Andrew Santino?

  Chris, take it away.

• 59:59Speaker 04

  You guys are, um, it's really amazing to see how.

• 1:00:03Andrew Santino?

  Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  And you guys are.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  Is that it? I thought we were gonna sing a song.

• 1:00:12Andrew Santino?

  We do, we have to sing a song to end the show.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:00:17Andrew Santino?

  No, we do have to sing a song. Chris gets the first verse, uh, and then Dr. Phil, and then you and I will close it out. So guys, this is a Bad Friends song to thank the Bad Friends for coming along for this ride with us and, uh, two of our very good friends and, and special guests. Chris DiStefano, a special out on Hulu, and he's playing Madison Square Garden September 11th. Please go see him, New York City and the surrounding areas. Go see our boy, uh, and, uh, Dr. Phil, of course, represented by Adam Ray, his, uh, his agent, Adam Ray Comedy. They're both on tour. They're never gonna overlap. Two separate entities. You won't catch them in the same room. We love them both very much. Go ahead, just take it away, Chris DiStefano.

• 1:00:49Speaker 04

  So, um, just a song about Bad Friends, the five years.

• 1:00:52Andrew Santino?

  I don't need to explain it, man. You should just be able to.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  I love to see Bad Friends. You brought together United States and Korea. And it said it couldn't be done, but you did it, hun.

• 1:01:09Andrew Santino?

  Dr. Phil.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. You walk into a store late at night, looking for some gum and a Jew on Jew fight, but you don't, you don't know what you got into. So you fill your car with gas. You get your ass kicked by the guy at the front.

• 1:01:35Andrew Santino?

  I don't have it.

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  Station, cuz he ran out of condoms. And you're looking to fuck, so you gotta drive home with a boner filled with cum. Oh, mom, what have I done? I've got nothing on the radio. So I'm gonna turn on my favorite show. Bad, Bad Friends. Bad, Bad Friends. Bad, Bad Friends. I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking.

• 1:02:13Andrew Santino?

  Thanks for being a bad friend.

• 1:02:17Bobby Lee?

  This is a 50/50 podcast.

• 1:02:19Andrew Santino?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 1:02:19Bobby Lee?

  And I feel like you're, you think that you're the captain of the ship?

• 1:02:21Andrew Santino?

  I am.

• 1:02:22Bobby Lee?

  We're, no, we're like the lighthouse. We're the two dudes in the lighthouse.

• 1:02:26Bobby Lee?

  Turn it off! Turn it off!

• 1:02:28Andrew Santino?

  Okay, it's off.

• 1:02:29Bobby Lee?

  Alright, if I was that Asian lady, I'd always-

• 1:02:39Andrew Santino?

  She almost a ninja? Oh, are you cleaning a knife?

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:44Bobby Lee?

  What is that for?

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Um, I just bought it. Bought it.

• 1:02:48Andrew Santino?

  What? What?

• 1:02:50Bobby Lee?

  What would be funny if I fucked you, ate you, and then I walked across to the island as a resort? And I was in Hawaii.

• 1:02:58Bobby Lee?

  But I wanna say this right now, for the record.

• 1:03:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  I like it. You look good doing it.

• 1:03:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I don't-

• 1:03:05Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna do it-

• 1:03:10Bobby Lee?

  This is great.

• 1:03:10Andrew Santino?

  Anytime-

• 1:03:12Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get you.

• 1:03:14Bobby Lee?

  For the record.

• 1:03:15Speaker 06

  Finest advice.

• 1:03:16Andrew Santino?

  Finest advice. He's still, I just saw Matador in my head pull up. Finest advice!

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Koreans didn't have slaves.

• 1:03:24Andrew Santino?

  Did Koreans have slaves?

• 1:03:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, Google that.

• 1:03:26Bobby Lee?

  We were kidding about the Koreans-

• 1:03:27Andrew Santino?

  Korea had the longest unbroken chain of slavery of any society in history, spanning 1,500 years. Fuck off!

• 1:03:35Bobby Lee?

  That's not what it says! Had the longest unbroken chain of slavery of any society in history.

• 1:03:46Bobby Lee?

  Fuck!

• 1:03:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, holy shit!

• 1:03:48Bobby Lee?

  Not gay no more. I am delivered!

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Wait, I have a question. When you, when you, when you were my age and you were pooing, does your asshole like bleed a lot?

• 1:04:05Bobby Lee?

  Let it sink in.

• 1:04:08Bobby Lee?

  Just let that sink in.

• 1:04:09Andrew Santino?

  Who are you gonna vote for?

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  D-O-N-A-L-D.

• 1:04:12Andrew Santino?

  D.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  T-R-U-N.

• 1:04:14Andrew Santino?

  N.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  P.

• 1:04:15Andrew Santino?

  Duh!

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  No!

• 1:04:15Andrew Santino?

  Trump!

• 1:04:16Speaker 04

  Trump!

• 1:04:16Andrew Santino?

  Trump!

• 1:04:17Speaker 04

  Trump!

• 1:04:19Andrew Santino?

  See? It's some fish I cooked earlier. That's why it smells over there. It's not because of young black men's bodies rotting in the fridge.

• 1:04:27Speaker 06

  A sexto company Taboo announced a new line of vibrators with removable batteries. Finally, I'm not gonna have those embarrassing moments at TSA.

• 1:04:41Bobby Lee?

  Jules, you have to- Oh, that is a game where you do one word. You do one word. Jules. Word. One word. Everyone says one word. Is that what it is? Is that the sentence? You say one word, and then you try and keep the cadence of an actual story. Yeah, yeah. You wanna try that?

• 1:04:53Andrew Santino?

  Okay, just a word.

• 1:04:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so Jules, you're playing, number one. And number two, this is how it works. No, this- Is-

• 1:05:02Andrew Santino?

  How.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  You.

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  Works.

• 1:05:10Bobby Lee?

  We'll be right back.

• 1:05:11Speaker 06

  Who celebrates Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October?

• 1:05:17Andrew Santino?

  Who celebrates Thanksgiving?

• 1:05:19Bobby Lee?

  You know what?

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:05:20Bobby Lee?

  Why'd you raise your hand?

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  Because I wanna go first.

• 1:05:22Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead. Go.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  Um, Jews?

• 1:05:28Bobby Lee?

  Ow. That's definitely not-

• 1:05:30Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's the show.

• 1:05:32Bobby Lee?

  We're canceled.

• 1:05:33Andrew Santino?

  Well.

• 1:05:35Andrew Santino?

  Well, Jews?

• 1:05:38Andrew Santino?

  That kid is Chinese on the right.

• 1:05:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's me.

• 1:05:41Andrew Santino?

  There's no doubt in my mind.

• 1:05:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  Well, we need a test.

• 1:05:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  I mean, look at that. If you saw him on the street, you'd go, "Who's that little Chinese kid?"

• 1:05:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Like, he looks like a Chinese guy that sells pineapples in the black market.

• 1:05:53Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:05:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  Can I tell you that a few episodes ago-

• 1:05:55Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you about the to-toi? Go ahead.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  I, uh-

• 1:05:58Andrew Santino?

  She's Chinese, too.

• 1:05:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Is that your Asian accent?

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:01Bobby Lee?

  Why are you doing this?

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  I don't know why. I'm turning Japanese.

• 1:06:06Bobby Lee?

  Whoa. Grizzly animal.

• 1:06:09Andrew Santino?

  In Chicago?

• 1:06:10Bobby Lee?

  Your mom.

• 1:06:15Bobby Lee?

  Well, it's just a joke. Relax.

• 1:06:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, my mother's very pretty.

• 1:06:19Bobby Lee?

  She's a beautiful woman.

• 1:06:20Andrew Santino?

  Unlike your cross-eyed mother.

• 1:06:22Bobby Lee?

  Well, don't, you, you don't have to fuck against-

• 1:06:24Andrew Santino?

  I'm not Bobby mother. I'm, I'm Bobby mom. Simp.

• 1:06:28Bobby Lee?

  I'm a simp.

• 1:06:28Andrew Santino?

  You be simpin' hard.

• 1:06:30Bobby Lee?

  Hard!

• 1:06:31Andrew Santino?

  Out of a failed hope of winning some entitled sexual attention.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Oh, that felt good, so now I don't have to feel bad for your little heartbreak. Fuck you!

• 1:06:42Andrew Santino?

  Mr. Herrera, what, what, what is it?

• 1:06:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. How far away is this private investigator?

• 1:06:50Andrew Santino?

  She's taking out an iPhone four feet away. Like, look Bobby in the eye, right now, let's see your confidence level. Tell him to go fuck himself. Look him right in the eye and say, "Go fuck yourself." Do it.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Go fuck yourself.

• 1:07:02Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, that was so believable!

• 1:07:06Andrew Santino?

  I love it. Man, this is good. I like this new rude.

• 1:07:09Bobby Lee?

  Do more, do more.

• 1:07:10Andrew Santino?

  Look him right in the eye and do it.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  You're a fat piece of shit.

• 1:07:15Andrew Santino?

  Shit.

• 1:07:19Andrew Santino?

  Ready? Ready for another one?

• 1:07:20Speaker 02

  You're not my blood, and I don't respect you at all.

• 1:07:24Andrew Santino?

  It looks so real when she says it.

• 1:07:32Bobby Lee?

  That was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah, no, one more, one more.

• 1:07:36Andrew Santino?

  You want another one?

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  One last one for the room. I like it.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  It's so magic, isn't it?

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  I like it, I like it.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  I can't wait till Atika Lila leaves you.

• 1:07:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god! Oh, that one hurts! That one stung, he's getting hit a little bit.

• 1:07:50Bobby Lee?

  Fuck.

• 1:07:51Andrew Santino?

  Wow!

• 1:07:52Bobby Lee?

  I'm in the middle there, look. Zoom in.

• 1:07:54Andrew Santino?

  Zoom in, zoom in. Oh, bye!

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  Ancient crane technique. If do right, no can defend. Aye?

• 1:08:03Bobby Lee?

  How tall are you?

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  About three.

• 1:08:04Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:08:07Bobby Lee?

  Who's taller, you or I?

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  That's a good question.

• 1:08:10Bobby Lee?

  I'm 5'2". Oh, you're not? Yeah, yeah, I'm 5'2". No, bro! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, you, bro. You're 5 foot? No, don't do that! And then, um, I plug in my iPhone, whatever, I have a phone, right?

• 1:08:22Andrew Santino?

  Samsung.

• 1:08:24Andrew Santino?

  Samsung.

• 1:08:25Bobby Lee?

  Okay. It's gotta be Samsung? Alright, Samsung. Um, does it matter what kind of TV I'm looking at, or?

• 1:08:31Andrew Santino?

  Toshiba.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  Dushiva.

• 1:08:36Andrew Santino?

  Dushiva.

• 1:08:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Bobby Lee?

  So I assume just by your thinking, I'm wearing a kimono.

• 1:08:41Andrew Santino?

  100%. What else would you be wearing at your house?

• 1:08:44Bobby Lee?

  So just, alright.

• 1:08:45Andrew Santino?

  Out in public, you have street clothes.

• 1:08:47Bobby Lee?

  Alright, kimono, I have a sword.

• 1:08:49Andrew Santino?

  A sword? And your hair is in a bun? Must be. And what's in it?

• 1:08:55Bobby Lee?

  Right, what's?

• 1:08:56Andrew Santino?

  What's holding your hair up?

• 1:08:57Bobby Lee?

  Chopsticks.

• 1:08:57Andrew Santino?

  Chopsticks, that's correct.

• 1:09:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you racist fuck. Alright, for some reason, for some reason, for some reason, I'm wearing regular clothes.

• 1:09:10Andrew Santino?

  You're wearing regular clothes at the liquor store.

• 1:09:12Bobby Lee?

  But when I get home, there's got even Montessori where I put the kimono on.

• 1:09:17Andrew Santino?

  You ever kiss someone of the same sex? Yes, I do it all the time, once or twice, no way. Or I love kissing people regardless of their sex.

• 1:09:23Bobby Lee?

  Third.

• 1:09:23Andrew Santino?

  No way?

• 1:09:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I've sucked dick.

• 1:09:25Andrew Santino?

  You've never?

• 1:09:26Bobby Lee?

  I've sucked dick, but never fucking.

• 1:09:27Andrew Santino?

  Well, why can't we make that the same thing?

• 1:09:29Bobby Lee?

  They're not the same thing, they're not the same thing!

• 1:09:31Andrew Santino?

  I know, you went to third base instead of first!

• 1:09:33Bobby Lee?

  I know, but kissing somebody, kissing somebody so sensual and...

• 1:09:37Andrew Santino?

  They're saying, did you ever hit a?

• 1:09:37Bobby Lee?

  And they're so passionate.

• 1:09:38Andrew Santino?

  They're saying, did you ever hit a single? And you're like, well, I got a triple.

• 1:09:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's not what the question is. Over the years, and you may disagree with me, I've learned a little move called dodge.

• 1:09:48Andrew Santino?

  You think you're quick enough to dodge a fucking elephant?

• 1:09:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let me ask you this, right? You think they're, you think they're like a race? That's not an elephant.

• 1:09:56Andrew Santino?

  An elephant would fucking kill you. You didn't even move.

• 1:10:02Bobby Lee?

  So I'm in the patio, I'm like...

• 1:10:03Speaker 03

  You're gonna make me go all the way around.

• 1:10:06Bobby Lee?

  That's not the point.

• 1:10:07Speaker 03

  You're gonna make me go all the way around. You're gonna make me go... All the way around. All the way around. Oh, no. You're gonna make me go all the way around.

• 1:10:49Speaker 07

  Daddy, I need you. I need you so badly. Laying on your bed.

• 1:10:58Speaker 07

  I'm sorry I took photos of you while you were dead. And sent it to the heart since what was in my head. You were dead and I whipped out my phone. I can't fucking believe I did that shit. I'm all alone. It makes daddy cry.