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Transcript 14,992 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 You two are bad friends.
0:01 Speaker 01 Who are these two idiots?
0:03 Speaker 00 A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
0:08 Speaker 01 Oh, you two are something.
0:10 Speaker 00 We're bad friends.
0:12 Andrew Santino? Somebody's back from out of town. He's tired. He's sad. He's down. He's drinking coffee, coffee. Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam.
0:19 Bobby Lee? Great. Thanks for coming out to Sa- uh, Lincoln. That show was great.
0:24 Andrew Santino? What?
0:25 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
0:26 Andrew Santino? Oh, thank you for coming out.
0:27 Bobby Lee? And you were great.
0:27 Andrew Santino? Oh, Sacramento, Lincoln, California.
0:29 Bobby Lee? What?
0:30 Andrew Santino? What a good show.
0:31 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
0:32 Andrew Santino? I didn't know what you were saying. You were like, thanks for taking it, liking it.
0:34 Bobby Lee? Lincoln. Well, because I was trying to think, is it Sac or Lincoln?
0:37 Andrew Santino? It was. They said it was something else, didn't they?
0:40 Bobby Lee? Didn't they say it was Lincoln?
0:41 Speaker 04 Lincoln.
0:41 Andrew Santino? Oh, Lincoln.
0:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:42 Andrew Santino? Lincoln Logs.
0:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so, um, thanks for coming. That was a great show. You were on fire that night.
0:47 Andrew Santino? What do you mean? You killed it.
0:49 Bobby Lee? And, um...
0:50 Andrew Santino? Okay.
0:51 Bobby Lee? What do you mean?
0:51 Andrew Santino? You just shrugged me off.
0:53 Bobby Lee? No, I didn't.
0:53 Andrew Santino? You did.
0:54 Bobby Lee? No, because it-
0:55 Andrew Santino? Check the tape!
0:56 Bobby Lee? I know, but I'll tell you why.
0:57 Andrew Santino? Why?
0:58 Bobby Lee? Because I'm, because I know if I said what I was gonna say, that was gonna start a fight. So I didn't say what I was gonna say.
1:04 Andrew Santino? Say what you were gonna say.
1:04 Bobby Lee? I didn't think I had a great set. And now, here we go, that.
1:08 Andrew Santino? It's annoying.
1:08 Bobby Lee? So that's why I edited it out.
1:09 Andrew Santino? Okay, well, let's go to something better. Fancy was wasted.
1:13 Bobby Lee? You were wasted.
1:13 Andrew Santino? I've never seen you that drunk.
1:14 Bobby Lee? I've never seen you drunk at all, ever.
1:15 Andrew Santino? Hammered.
1:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:16 Andrew Santino? You were hammered.
1:17 Speaker 04 One drink.
1:18 Andrew Santino? One drink? You're a liar.
1:19 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, no. I, I, I poured you whiskey. You drank that.
1:23 Andrew Santino? Bobby poured you a full glass.
1:24 Bobby Lee? But I have to say, onstage, though, you had the two biggest laughs out of, even both of us. See? Right? See was, that's a home run.
1:36 Andrew Santino? Perfect.
1:36 Bobby Lee? The timing of it.
1:37 Andrew Santino? It was so-
1:38 Bobby Lee? So good. What was the second punchline? It was a big one.
1:41 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you got one more big pop. You got two pops.
1:44 Bobby Lee? It was based on somebody that was onstage. It was a guy.
1:46 Speaker 04 Personality.
1:47 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, personality, person, yeah, personality.
1:50 Speaker 04 I'm one word, uh-
1:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I looked at you as if to say, you know-
1:58 Bobby Lee? Congratulations.
1:59 Andrew Santino? Sometimes.
2:00 Bobby Lee? You hit the ball.
2:01 Andrew Santino? Sometimes he really hits it hard.
2:02 Bobby Lee? Really huge, rippling laughs.
2:04 Andrew Santino? And because of that, we got a little gift for you here. This says, "Hey, bad friends, I found this Fancy B special while thrifting and just had to send it along. Thanks for the making all the best podcasts on the internet. Your number 69 fan, Mike." Shout out to Mike. He, of course, gave Fancy a shirt I'm sure he owns.
2:21 Bobby Lee? Oh, that was an Israeli flag.
2:22 Andrew Santino? It is.
2:26 Speaker 04 Wow.
2:26 Bobby Lee? From Netanyahu.
2:27 Andrew Santino? Do you own this shirt?
2:28 Speaker 04 I do not.
2:30 Bobby Lee? That does not look good. You think that looks good? That does not look good.
2:34 Andrew Santino? Desigual.
2:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
2:35 Andrew Santino? It's also double XL, which looks, it looks...
2:38 Bobby Lee? Is that a desigual?
2:39 Speaker 04 I think so.
2:40 Andrew Santino? It's a desigual.
2:41 Bobby Lee? What? Oh, from a thrift store. Oh, it's an antique, like what, a thrifty...
2:46 Andrew Santino? Imagine on Antiques Roadshow, somebody's like, "I found this in an attic. It's a desigual shirt."
2:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
2:52 Andrew Santino? And they're like, "These things are amazing. They're very valuable."
2:55 Bobby Lee? You mean 100 years from now?
2:56 Andrew Santino? Oh, yeah. Almost nobody wore them.
2:58 Bobby Lee? No one wore them. Only one guy from Spain. He was their man in clientele.
3:02 Andrew Santino? Desigual was founded in Barcelona in 1984 by Swiss businessman Thomas Meyer. The brand regenerated with the aim of creating a different, meaning, desigual. Affordable fashion style that stood out, characterized by vibrant colors, patchwork, and bold Mediterranean-inspired designs.
3:22 Andrew Santino? It was founded on the concept of upcycling, starting with a jacket made from reassembled patches of used denim. So it's old shit that they threw together and then sold to you at a premium.
3:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I mean...
3:33 Andrew Santino? Brilliant.
3:34 Bobby Lee? Conceptually, it's cool. It's just, I think they're using the wrong patterns.
3:37 Andrew Santino? Execution...
3:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, the execution is bad. I think the idea is good.
3:41 Andrew Santino? It is very.
3:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
3:42 Andrew Santino? But they've...
3:43 Bobby Lee? Like, I can take this, right? And then this and put it into a shirt, but necessarily it doesn't look good.
3:48 Andrew Santino? Doesn't look good like that.
3:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta find the right combination, I think.
3:52 Andrew Santino? You haven't found your groove.
3:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
3:53 Andrew Santino? The emperor has yet to find his new groove.
3:55 Speaker 04 I'll keep trying.
3:56 Andrew Santino? But it was incredible time up in Sacramento.
3:58 Speaker 04 Incredible.
3:58 Andrew Santino? And then you immediately come home and you jumped on a flight to go across the country once again. You, you, you gotta be...
4:05 Bobby Lee? I'm exhausted.
4:05 Andrew Santino? You're Amelia Earhart, dog. You're flying all over the place.
4:08 Bobby Lee? Well, also, it's like, uh, so we finished the show Saturday and then I get, we fly back that night. And then I show up to the airport pretty early and then five hour delay.
4:17 Andrew Santino? Five hour?
4:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
4:19 Andrew Santino? I'm going home.
4:19 Bobby Lee? TSA. Yeah, so I'm sitting there at the airport, had, had, had not slept, went to Philly, then shoot.
4:27 Andrew Santino? Are they still on strike? Or is it bad on the way back?
4:30 Bobby Lee? It, it's bad.
4:31 Andrew Santino? Really?
4:32 Bobby Lee? Oh, it's bad, yeah. Houston really hard still for weeks, five hour. It's really bad.
4:36 Andrew Santino? Well, I don't care about Houston, but yeah, but out here.
4:39 Bobby Lee? I told Honey to buy me 5,000 Smart Waters, which is what we're doing.
4:44 Andrew Santino? 5,000?
4:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
4:45 Andrew Santino? Smart, why do you, you like Smart Water?
4:47 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, it's not that I like it, it's just that, um, I have this fear that the world is ending.
4:52 Andrew Santino? Right.
4:52 Bobby Lee? So I'm gonna get seeds, I'm gonna do a whole thing.
4:54 Andrew Santino? You, you're gonna get seeds?
4:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:56 Andrew Santino? What kind of seeds?
4:56 Bobby Lee? Sunflower, barbecue ranch.
4:58 Andrew Santino? That's all you need to eat.
5:01 Bobby Lee? No, I mean, the, the plant.
5:02 Andrew Santino? No.
5:02 Bobby Lee? To plant!
5:03 Andrew Santino? No.
5:03 Bobby Lee? To plant!
5:04 Andrew Santino? Sunflowers are hard.
5:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:05 Andrew Santino? You could chew on those for days.
5:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get that, you know what I mean, chili lime, the, the Hispanic one.
5:10 Andrew Santino? I like those.
5:11 Bobby Lee? If you plant those, maybe a chili lime, sunflower seed will.
5:13 Andrew Santino? Just a Mexican guy grows in your backyard?
5:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna convert my backyard, cause I have the, um, that, that, um, not asphalt, but the fake grass. What do you call that?
5:23 Andrew Santino? Fake grass.
5:23 Bobby Lee? If that's what I call it?
5:24 Andrew Santino? I think so.
5:25 Bobby Lee? I mean, what do they call it?
5:26 Andrew Santino? I mean turf.
5:27 Bobby Lee? Turf.
5:27 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
5:27 Bobby Lee? I have turf. I'm gonna take that out, put real American soil on there.
5:31 Andrew Santino? American soil.
5:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna put American soil on there, man. I'm gonna get American seeds, you know what I mean? I'm not growing hummus.
5:43 Bobby Lee? I'm growing hummus, dude.
5:43 Andrew Santino? Okay.
5:44 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? American shit, tomatoes.
5:46 Andrew Santino? Is that a Netanyahu joke?
5:47 Bobby Lee? That's not a Netanyahu joke.
5:48 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it is.
5:49 Bobby Lee? No, it's not, dude.
5:50 Andrew Santino? Yeah, okay.
5:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm not doing, uh, that, I'm not doing fucking goya. Is goya, is goya a thing?
5:56 Andrew Santino? What is goya, though?
5:56 Bobby Lee? I don't know.
5:57 Andrew Santino? Okay.
5:58 Bobby Lee? It just sounds like a Greek thing, I don't know. It's Hispanic. It's Hispanic, yeah, I'm not, only American, you know, I mean, vegetables and.
6:05 Andrew Santino? Hot dogs, cheeseburger.
6:06 Bobby Lee? You can't grow hot dogs.
6:07 Andrew Santino? Pretzels.
6:08 Bobby Lee? No, no, I'm saying, growing vegetables and fruits.
6:10 Andrew Santino? Well, you don't grow hummus either.
6:12 Bobby Lee? You don't grow hummus?
6:13 Andrew Santino? Chickpeas.
6:13 Bobby Lee? It's a bean.
6:14 Andrew Santino? It's chickpeas.
6:15 Bobby Lee? It's a chickpea. Well, how do you get chickpeas?
6:17 Andrew Santino? You grow it.
6:17 Bobby Lee? Exactly. That's what I'm saying. No chickpeas.
6:19 Andrew Santino? No chickpeas in our house.
6:21 Bobby Lee? Not, well, no, I mean, I'll eat it like if I'm with, you know.
6:23 Andrew Santino? No, it's American. We're not doing that.
6:25 Bobby Lee? No, I love hummus, but I'm just saying.
6:26 Andrew Santino? All right.
6:28 Bobby Lee? I do love hummus, but.
6:29 Andrew Santino? But look, chickpeas are very easy to grow.
6:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, fuck.
6:31 Andrew Santino? Nutrient dense and drought tolerant legumes that thrive in warm weather maturing in 90 days.
6:35 Bobby Lee? All right, I'll get chickpeas.
6:36 Andrew Santino? All right, we got it.
6:37 Bobby Lee? I'll do chickpeas.
6:38 Andrew Santino? We'll be hummus boys.
6:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we'll be hummus boys, but I just think that I have this fear that something's about to happen. So I'm gonna Y2K this.
6:46 Andrew Santino? So you think the global.
6:47 Bobby Lee? Is that the one that, right?
6:48 Andrew Santino? Yes.
6:48 Bobby Lee? Y2K, yeah.
6:49 Andrew Santino? And you know what happened there? Nothing.
6:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I know.
6:52 Andrew Santino? So it's gonna be the same result.
6:53 Bobby Lee? It doesn't matter, though, because it could have happened.
6:55 Andrew Santino? The global food source will be depleted, in your opinion, in the next couple of years. We're about to run out.
6:59 Bobby Lee? Well, the straight of hummus is closed. We don't know when that's gonna open up, so it's like.
7:02 Andrew Santino? Well, just make it crooked then. Crooked the hummus if we can.
7:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
7:05 Andrew Santino? Stop straightening that thing out.
7:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you know what I should have done? Not what I should have done.
7:11 Andrew Santino? Should you have done?
7:13 Bobby Lee? I'm so tired. Um, you know, 200 years ago, they should just widen that thing. But they have foresight, you know what I mean? But I'd be like, hey, we could make it wider. What, the straight? Yeah, wider.
7:26 Andrew Santino? Be good.
7:27 Bobby Lee? Be good.
7:28 Andrew Santino? Yeah?
7:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
7:29 Andrew Santino? You should have been a civil engineer.
7:31 Bobby Lee? I know.
7:31 Andrew Santino? I watched Pluribus again last night, and that is literally what we're kind of what we're talking about.
7:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:36 Andrew Santino? Did you finish it?
7:36 Bobby Lee? Mm-hmm.
7:37 Andrew Santino? Gosh, it's pretty good. I got one left, I think.
7:39 Bobby Lee? It's a really good show.
7:40 Andrew Santino? But we gotta watch it in chunks because it's anxiety inducing, so I can't get through the whole thing at once.
7:44 Bobby Lee? You have no anxiety?
7:45 Andrew Santino? Huh?
7:46 Bobby Lee? You have no anxiety?
7:47 Andrew Santino? I have all of it.
7:47 Bobby Lee? About the world?
7:48 Andrew Santino? Oh, oh, about the world?
7:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
7:50 Andrew Santino? No, I'm comfortable, dude. I'm comfortably numb.
7:53 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're numb?
7:53 Andrew Santino? Like the song.
7:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
7:55 Andrew Santino? I have become comfortably numb.
8:01 Bobby Lee? Good song. It's a good song.
8:02 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you nailed it.
8:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:04 Andrew Santino? Uh, the doomsday clock, January 27, 2026, as of this year, was set at 85 seconds to midnight. Closest the clock has ever been to midnight in its history.
8:12 Bobby Lee? Wow.
8:12 Andrew Santino? Well, speed it up. Push the seconds over. Let's have fun.
8:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there's a lot of anxiety I feel in the world. I think maybe I'm just like, you know, I mean, a sensitive guy and I just can feel things. But like, you know, when you walk into a coffee shop and you look at somebody, right? What's wrong?
8:27 Andrew Santino? I'm a sensitive guy. I can feel things. You're an empath? Is that what you're thinking?
8:31 Bobby Lee? Well, I'm dating a witch.
8:33 Andrew Santino? You are dating a witch?
8:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so it rubs off on me.
8:35 Andrew Santino? I know, my eye, I can't see out of my right eye. What are you guys doing?
8:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. She told me the other night that she can see into the future and stuff like that.
8:45 Andrew Santino? What does she see?
8:47 Bobby Lee? She goes, she stopped doing it because it's like too much, she gets tired.
8:52 Andrew Santino? That's a reason to stop.
8:53 Bobby Lee? I mean, she got taught it, you know what I mean? Also, not just look into the future, like, like, look into people's, and communicate with, like, spirits and stuff, right? And she's like, it's...
9:04 Andrew Santino? I could run a three-minute mile, but I just don't want to do it.
9:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
9:07 Andrew Santino? I just don't feel like doing it, but I can.
9:10 Bobby Lee? That's pretty much it.
9:10 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it's ridiculous.
9:11 Bobby Lee? That's not ridiculous, you can do it, but you just won't.
9:13 Andrew Santino? No, you literally can't.
9:14 Bobby Lee? You can, though.
9:15 Andrew Santino? Physical limitations.
9:16 Bobby Lee? Can you?
9:16 Andrew Santino? A three-minute mile? No.
9:18 Bobby Lee? Okay.
9:18 Andrew Santino? No, nobody can.
9:19 Bobby Lee? Okay. No one can do a three-minute mile?
9:23 Andrew Santino? Not you or me.
9:24 Bobby Lee? I know, but there are people out in the world that can.
9:27 Andrew Santino? Yeah, maybe like Mafungo Bungo.
9:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, Mafungo Bungo, he can.
9:31 Andrew Santino? He can do it?
9:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Well, the girl that I'm dating is the Mafungo Mafungo of witches.
9:34 Andrew Santino? No human has ever run a three-minute mile.
9:36 Bobby Lee? Okay.
9:37 Andrew Santino? Wait a minute, she said she could look into the future. I need to hear the rest.
9:39 Bobby Lee? Not the future, it's more like, um, she can, um, see things, communicate with spirits, and see things in the past, and, um...
9:49 Speaker 04 That's the opposite.
9:53 Andrew Santino? She's going the wrong way.
9:54 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah.
9:55 Andrew Santino? She's, she's in, wait, dude, she's in that other universe, communicating, and she's going backwards? And they're like, the information's up here. She took the wrong...
10:04 Bobby Lee? I don't know why you guys are laughing at this, you know what I mean, religion. It's absolutely mind-boggling.
10:12 Andrew Santino? Dude, fuck you.
10:15 Bobby Lee? It's absolutely mind-boggling to me
10:17 Andrew Santino? Shut up.
10:17 Bobby Lee? That you would take one's religion and mock it.
10:21 Andrew Santino? Witches and magic practitioners often use divination, such as tarot, runes, or scrying.
10:28 Bobby Lee? She's crying all the time, doc.
10:29 Andrew Santino? She's crying?
10:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. One time her dog, she started crying.
10:35 Andrew Santino? Do I believe-
10:36 Bobby Lee? They, they cry different. They scry.
10:38 Andrew Santino? Oh, they scry?
10:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they don't, yeah, it's even more painful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so-
10:43 Andrew Santino? They float when they cry. They scry.
10:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so, you know, to, we live in a country where we have freedom of religion.
10:49 Andrew Santino? That's right, baby, best country in the world!
10:51 Bobby Lee? And for you to mock one's religion is, to me, absurd and offending.
10:55 Andrew Santino? Time out.
10:56 Bobby Lee? It offen, it offends me.
10:57 Andrew Santino? You're allowed to have the freedom to religion, to any religion.
11:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
11:02 Andrew Santino? I have the freedom of speech to mock your religion.
11:05 Speaker 04 But which religion is this? Yeah.
11:06 Andrew Santino? Witchery, witchcraft. Witchcraft is a religion.
11:09 Bobby Lee? It is a religion.
11:10 Andrew Santino? But I have the freedom of-
11:11 Bobby Lee? Buddhism is a religion, is it not?
11:13 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it is, but we can mock it. That's the whole point of freedom of speech.
11:16 Speaker 04 Wicca, like how-
11:17 Andrew Santino? Wiccans.
11:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Wiccans, yeah.
11:18 Speaker 04 Chesky grew up.
11:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but, you know-
11:21 Andrew Santino? What you're saying is contradictory in and of itself. If it's protected religion, then so is speech, so we can make fun of it. That's the point.
11:26 Bobby Lee? But it's kind of my religion.
11:27 Andrew Santino? It's not yours.
11:28 Bobby Lee? I know.
11:30 Bobby Lee? I know it's not, but I want to defend, uh, the right-
11:33 Andrew Santino? Defend your honor.
11:34 Bobby Lee? That people have the right to have their own religion.
11:36 Andrew Santino? And people have the right and I'll defend that.
11:37 Bobby Lee? And you're laughing, you guys are laughing as if like, it's not real.
11:40 Andrew Santino? No, no, no.
11:40 Bobby Lee? It could be.
11:40 Andrew Santino? No, no, we're laughing at it.
11:42 Bobby Lee? It could be.
11:42 Andrew Santino? We're laughing because it's real.
11:44 Speaker 04 That's the god she believes.
11:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
11:46 Andrew Santino? Yeah, that's the goat god.
11:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah. And tell me-
11:49 Andrew Santino? I've seen that guy on La Brea before.
11:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Now, tell me, Carlos, you, you were at the drawing room at 1:30 in the morning and you saw that?
11:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, in Los Feliz, at the drawing room, at 1:30, right, McCon? Yeah, yeah, at the end of the fucking bar. You've seen her, or whatever that is.
12:05 Speaker 05 Hey, gonna get a drink? He buy me a drink.
12:08 Andrew Santino? Somebody buy that girl a drink.
12:10 Speaker 05 I walked here from Echo Park.
12:12 Bobby Lee? Right, you've seen.
12:14 Andrew Santino? The horned goat lives in Echo Park.
12:17 Speaker 05 I, I got a great one bed, one bath.
12:20 Andrew Santino? What else does she tell you about the future? Does she tell us what's coming? Has she given you any insight?
12:24 Bobby Lee? Well, you remember I told you that I found your name in my freezer, right?
12:27 Andrew Santino? She was putting it in there.
12:28 Bobby Lee? No, that's not, did I tell you that?
12:30 Andrew Santino? You told me she made you put it in there to cool me off.
12:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, to cool you off, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't work.
12:36 Andrew Santino? No.
12:37 Bobby Lee? You're hot.
12:38 Andrew Santino? The freezer spell involving your name is typically used in witchcraft to blind, stop, or banish a person from causing trouble off of you.
12:44 Bobby Lee? Exactly, that's what I was doing.
12:44 Andrew Santino? Freezing their negative actions or cold sh-
12:46 Bobby Lee? I was banishing you, dude.
12:47 Andrew Santino? Didn't work.
12:48 Bobby Lee? I know it didn't work.
12:48 Andrew Santino? I'm unbanishable.
12:49 Bobby Lee? You're on, yeah, I know, I realize that. I realize that you're unbanishable. Also, I realize that, you know what I mean, you can't be blinded.
12:55 Andrew Santino? You can't bind me.
12:58 Bobby Lee? Like in Lord of the Rings, that ring? No, nothing on you.
13:00 Andrew Santino? No, behind you.
13:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what race you are in that world, dude, but you cannot be bound to that ring.
13:05 Andrew Santino? Unbound.
13:05 Bobby Lee? You're unbound. Yeah, so that didn't work. You can be stopped.
13:09 Andrew Santino? You could, yeah.
13:09 Bobby Lee? It can be stopped, you know what I mean? But it would take like, you know what I mean, a Russian army, I think, to stop you, so.
13:14 Andrew Santino? Don't tempt those guys, because they'll do it.
13:15 Bobby Lee? So, witchcraft to bind, stop, or banish.
13:18 Andrew Santino? Yeah, banish.
13:19 Bobby Lee? The two, three of those, you can't do to Anderson Tino. You know, I tried to freeze your negativity, and it didn't work. Also, it was in there for like, months. It was between, um, you know, like butcher box, butcher box meat and a frozen pizza.
13:33 Andrew Santino? Didn't work.
13:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I put it between like, you know what I mean? And then like, one day, we're like, well, eat a pork chop, and we lifted it, right? And there was like, Anderson Tino fucking pizza.
13:41 Andrew Santino? It's just my face.
13:42 Bobby Lee? No, just your name.
13:43 Andrew Santino? Oh, yeah.
13:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and I ripped it up. I go.
13:45 Andrew Santino? Oh, you ripped it up?
13:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I get, well, he's not banished.
13:48 Andrew Santino? Well, that's why I was having back pain that day.
13:51 Bobby Lee? Oh, you got black back? Maybe that, but, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:54 Andrew Santino? Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
13:57 Bobby Lee? Bind this motherfucker.
13:58 Andrew Santino? Oh, unbound.
13:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but, uh, you know who is a huge soccer fan? I just had no idea, is Gillis.
14:05 Andrew Santino? Oh, is he?
14:06 Bobby Lee? Uh huh.
14:06 Andrew Santino? Love soccer.
14:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we were in the van, uh, we had lunch, and, um, you know, I was watching the, um, Arsenal Champions League game on my phone. He's like, what are you watching? And I go Arsenal playing, you know, and he goes, fuck Arsenal. I go, fuck you. Of course I'm saying that, because I defend myself.
14:24 Andrew Santino? That's your Arsenal team.
14:26 Bobby Lee? That's my argument.
14:27 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
14:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you know me.
14:28 Andrew Santino? Who does he follow?
14:29 Bobby Lee? Can I just finish our conversation? I go, what'd you say to me, man? He said, you said that this Reuben was the best thing on the menu, it wasn't. Because he was like, you gotta try the Reuben, it was okay. Anyway, he's a Man Utd fan. He's a Manchester United fan.
14:44 Andrew Santino? Thank you.
14:44 Bobby Lee? And then I asked him like, specific questions, he knew. Everything. I was, I was mind boggled.
14:50 Andrew Santino? He's a big sports fan.
14:51 Bobby Lee? No, but he was like, I've been following them since I was a kid, or whatever. I even, historically, I was asking him questions. And Gillis is a Man Utd fan, so is, give me, give me another comic that's a Man Utd fan, you know?
15:01 Andrew Santino? Uh, I feel like we do know someone that's a Man Utd fan. They have the, they have.
15:04 Bobby Lee? He's black.
15:04 Andrew Santino? Tatted on them.
15:05 Bobby Lee? He's black.
15:05 Andrew Santino? Oh, Ian Edwards.
15:06 Bobby Lee? Yep.
15:07 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
15:07 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
15:07 Andrew Santino? He has a tattoo. Doesn't he have a tattoo?
15:09 Bobby Lee? Uh, yeah.
15:10 Andrew Santino? Couldn't see it anyway.
15:12 Andrew Santino? I know, I could.
15:13 Bobby Lee? It was about to come up, dude, you're so fast today.
15:15 Andrew Santino? There's only one.
15:16 Bobby Lee? I'm so tired, you can't be quick today.
15:19 Andrew Santino? Okay.
15:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's just, you know? Yeah, it's too, you know what I mean? You talk so fast, sometimes I'm not there.
15:26 Speaker 04 He's using the laser gun.
15:30 Bobby Lee? It's like those Greenland sharks. You know about those, fuckers? Have we talked about that?
15:35 Andrew Santino? Greenland sharks?
15:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, they, they live to over 400 years old, some of them 500 years old.
15:41 Andrew Santino? Really? The Greenland shark, the, uh, longest-lived vertebrae on Earth, studies estimate it lived 400 fucking years. They're found in the cold deepest part of the Arctic and North Atlantic. These sharks, is my ex up there? These sharks grow at a glacial pace for only one centimeter per year, reaching maturity around 150 years old. So they grow up at 150, that's when they're like an adult.
16:02 Bobby Lee? What happened historically 400 years ago? Just Google that.
16:05 Andrew Santino? What do you mean, like what happened right from today?
16:06 Bobby Lee? From today, 400 years ago, a Greenland shark.
16:09 Andrew Santino? Was born.
16:10 Bobby Lee? Born.
16:10 Andrew Santino? Do you Google?
16:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, Google that, I wanna see that.
16:12 Andrew Santino? What happened today, 400 years ago?
16:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what happened today, 400 years ago? Or this month?
16:16 Andrew Santino? No, just say today. 14, uh, 400, McConaughey, get hit by a bus. August, what is this? Around 400 years ago, the first recorded Africans arrived in the English colony of Virginia at Point Comfort. You're up row.
16:31 Andrew Santino? A marking a pivotal tragic start to slavery in North America, roughly 20 enslaved people were traded for supplies.
16:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
16:37 Andrew Santino? Uh, okay, okay Greenland shark. Not a good time. Not a good birth time.
16:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, time, I mean, people are on the, you know what I mean, on the Amistad. And a little baby is born.
16:48 Andrew Santino? Wow, not good.
16:49 Bobby Lee? It's not good.
16:49 Andrew Santino? Not good.
16:50 Bobby Lee? But I'm just saying though, that they've been around, I mean, imagine, there is something alive today that witnessed, not witnessed, he wasn't on land going, oh my god, this is an atrocity.
17:02 Bobby Lee? He wasn't like, I gotta check this out, you know, as a baby, you know, but he was still a lot deep in the ocean, born when this shit was going on.
17:11 Andrew Santino? What are you guys doing?
17:12 Bobby Lee? What are you guys doing, man?
17:13 Andrew Santino? Are you guys trading and buying humans? I'm gonna go back to the depths of the ocean. That's crazy. Imagine interviewing one right now on his deathbed and he's like, "Do you guys still buy humans?" You're like, "Well..."
17:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
17:24 Andrew Santino? That's what they look like?
17:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's what they look like. They look 400 years.
17:28 Andrew Santino? They look 400 years.
17:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:29 Andrew Santino? 400 years.
17:30 Bobby Lee? That's crazy.
17:31 Andrew Santino? Beautiful, though.
17:32 Bobby Lee? It's beautiful.
17:32 Andrew Santino? What's the longest species that... What's the longest age length of a species on Earth? What species is the longest?
17:37 Bobby Lee? That. Yeah, that's it.
17:39 Andrew Santino? Vertebrae, yeah.
17:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, vertebrae.
17:40 Andrew Santino? Yeah, yeah, yeah, longest.
17:42 Bobby Lee? I'm sure there are plants or trees that are longer, do you think?
17:45 Andrew Santino? Trees live, yeah. The longest-lived individual invertebrate is the ocean quahog. A clam that can live over 500 years.
17:52 Bobby Lee? No.
17:54 Andrew Santino? Wow.
17:54 Bobby Lee? Wow.
17:55 Andrew Santino? Oh, or the immortal jellyfish. They put it right there in the name.
17:58 Bobby Lee? So clam, what happened 500 years ago? Google that.
18:02 Andrew Santino? 500 years ago.
18:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a clam.
18:05 Andrew Santino? What did he... What did we see?
18:06 Bobby Lee? I'm a clam. We're clams, we're clams.
18:08 Andrew Santino? What did we see?
18:08 Bobby Lee? What did we see? What did we see?
18:10 Andrew Santino? So tell us what the world was like.
18:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
18:12 Andrew Santino? Well, it was shaped by the height of the Protestant Reformation, the expansion of the Spanish Empire. Boo.
18:17 Bobby Lee? Boo.
18:17 Andrew Santino? And the flowering of the Italian Renaissance. Yay!
18:20 Bobby Lee? This painting is beautiful.
18:22 Andrew Santino? Gorgeous.
18:24 Bobby Lee? A clam today was just like, "Wow, look at the artistry."
18:27 Andrew Santino? Well, look at that. Magellan. So a clam saw magellan.
18:30 Bobby Lee? Whoa, on the beach saw magellan.
18:32 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
18:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
18:33 Andrew Santino? What is he doing?
18:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or me, I'm more of a Columbus guy.
18:40 Bobby Lee? Right?
18:41 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
18:41 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean?
18:41 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
18:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're happy about magellan?
18:44 Andrew Santino? I like Columbus. That was their soccer teams back then.
18:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:48 Andrew Santino? Are you a diehard Columbus fan or a magellan guy? The Inca civilization at its peak in South America, stretching from modern-day Colombia to Chile, just before the Spanish conquest in 1533. Another bad thing you've done. So basically, what we're finding out through the history of invertebrates and vertebrates is you guys are up to no good.
19:03 Bobby Lee? Pieces of shit.
19:04 Andrew Santino? Pieces of shit.
19:04 Bobby Lee? Well, in the Philippines, you guys, oh my God.
19:07 Andrew Santino? Oh my God, what did you do?
19:08 Bobby Lee? What'd you do?
19:09 Speaker 04 Lapalapu.
19:10 Bobby Lee? Lapalapu. You lapalapu'd it.
19:11 Andrew Santino? Okay, so Google, zoom in real fast.
19:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what is this?
19:13 Andrew Santino? Immortal jellyfish, a glass sponge lives up to 15,000 years.
19:18 Bobby Lee? Whoa, 15,000 years?
19:21 Andrew Santino? What happened 15,000 years ago?
19:24 Bobby Lee? I'm a gla... We're glass sponges.
19:29 Bobby Lee? We're glass sponges.
19:30 Andrew Santino? All right, around 15,000 years.
19:31 Bobby Lee? Be a glass, yeah, be a glass sponge, dude.
19:33 Andrew Santino? The world was transitioning out of the last ice age.
19:35 Bobby Lee? Oh my god, yeah, yeah.
19:36 Andrew Santino? Warming climate, producing glaciers.
19:37 Bobby Lee? Man, is it getting warmer?
19:40 Andrew Santino? I can feel my toes!
19:40 Bobby Lee? I can feel my toes finally, dude! Whoa, dude!
19:43 Andrew Santino? Humans begin transitioning from purely nomadic foraging to living in semi-permanent settlements.
19:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, wha- oh, the R?
19:50 Andrew Santino? And the suburbs were born. No, I'm kidding. The use of clay for artistic expression began beads, pendants, rather than utility. Children and adults were shaping clay reflecting a forgotten chapter in social development.
19:59 Bobby Lee? Wow.
20:00 Andrew Santino? It is cool to be the first person-
20:01 Bobby Lee? What do you call that? Hammer. We witnessed.
20:05 Andrew Santino? Yeah, we saw a hammer.
20:05 Bobby Lee? We saw a hammer, dude, getting invented. That's insane.
20:08 Andrew Santino? Hammer in the morning.
20:08 Bobby Lee? Isn't that insane? There are glass jelly, what are they called?
20:11 Andrew Santino? Glass sponge. Glass sponge.
20:12 Bobby Lee? Glass sponges that were around when a fucking hammer was invented. Yeah.
20:19 Andrew Santino? The same guy.
20:20 Bobby Lee? What do you mean?
20:21 Andrew Santino? Glass sponge, same guy today.
20:22 Bobby Lee? Same guy today. Same dude. Yeah, yeah.
20:26 Andrew Santino? Same guy.
20:27 Bobby Lee? Same dude is still around.
20:30 Andrew Santino? Crazy.
20:30 Bobby Lee? Is it boring?
20:32 Andrew Santino? I bet he's having a good time.
20:33 Bobby Lee? No, all he's doing is this.
20:35 Andrew Santino? Depends on who's visiting him.
20:36 Bobby Lee? Have you done this? How long can you do this?
20:39 Andrew Santino? 15,000 years?
20:41 Bobby Lee? That's insane. But there's no thought, there's no-
20:44 Andrew Santino? This is the funniest thing. You literally Googled glass sponges' daily life, as if they have like a ni- you know, a 9 to 5. Y'all brought it to life, hey.
20:50 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me daily life of-
20:52 Andrew Santino? Bobby, Bobby, he's got the glass sponges of Get Ready With Me TikTok.
20:58 Andrew Santino? Get ready for me to float in the ocean again.
21:00 Speaker 04 I have the answer.
21:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:02 Andrew Santino? Sitting in one place, using their silica glass, uh, specules, oh, whoops, sorry, to filter vast amounts of water for bacteria and plankton. So they're filtering, they're living fossils, they can live forever and ever and ever.
21:12 Bobby Lee? Wow.
21:12 Andrew Santino? Show me the video of the glass sponge, I'd love to take a look.
21:14 Bobby Lee? Love to see him.
21:15 Andrew Santino? You know, this is the thing about this show, is it a poop fart show? Yeah, but do you learn? You sure do.
21:18 Bobby Lee? I sure do.
21:19 Andrew Santino? You sure do.
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22:59 Andrew Santino? Here's the best part. You can accelerate your efficiency, whether you're just uploading new products or you're trying to improve existing ones like we do. We try to update through time with different shirts that we're selling to you guys or merch that you guys are looking to buy. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, they page headlines, and they even enhance your product photography so we can take beautiful photos, show you guys what we're trying to give you as Bad Friends listeners.
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23:58 Speaker 06 Maybe this thing.
24:00 Andrew Santino? Okay. Okay.
24:02 Speaker 06 Which is Philomporifera. Well, most sponges are classified in the class.
24:05 Andrew Santino? Is this fancy? Did he do this?
24:08 Speaker 06 My previous job. Glass sponges are classified in the class Hexactinella.
24:12 Andrew Santino? They're actually beautiful.
24:13 Bobby Lee? Dude.
24:14 Andrew Santino? Is he a deer?
24:15 Bobby Lee? They're Asian and white. They're the only two colors back then.
24:19 Andrew Santino? That's us.
24:19 Bobby Lee? We started it all.
24:20 Andrew Santino? We're sponges.
24:21 Bobby Lee? Dude, we started it all Asians and whites.
24:23 Andrew Santino? And you know why they're so pretty?
24:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
24:24 Andrew Santino? You know why, Bob?
24:25 Bobby Lee? Why?
24:25 Andrew Santino? Cause they're untouched.
24:26 Bobby Lee? Right.
24:27 Andrew Santino? Cause no one's fucking with them. That's why they're pretty.
24:29 Bobby Lee? I wanna kill one.
24:31 Andrew Santino? Strange life. Survival in the dark depths.
24:33 Bobby Lee? Oh, look at that.
24:34 Andrew Santino? They beautiful geometric shapes they get to form into. The silicon structures are so well-formed that they can transmit light similar to fiber optics. Amazing.
24:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but here's my argument against this.
24:45 Andrew Santino? Yeah, let's find something negative.
24:46 Bobby Lee? I'll say, well, because the difference between that and obviously the Greenland shark is there's no consciousness. It doesn't have a brain, per se.
24:55 Andrew Santino? As far as you know.
24:56 Bobby Lee? But it doesn't like, you know what I mean? It doesn't have thoughts like, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Why did dad leave?
25:04 Andrew Santino? Where did all my friends go?
25:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, you know what I mean? Or, you know what I mean? God, gas prices are so high. I mean, they don't have thoughts.
25:10 Andrew Santino? And he's like, well, they are doing, well, you saw what they're doing to Iran.
25:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no, right?
25:14 Andrew Santino? They're not on Twitter, I guess.
25:16 Bobby Lee? Greenland shark, you know what I mean? I don't know what they're thinking about. Probably food first.
25:20 Andrew Santino? Food for 400 years straight.
25:21 Bobby Lee? The second Coachella tickets? No, I'm kidding. That's.
25:24 Andrew Santino? Do you think they got backstage passes?
25:25 Bobby Lee? What?
25:26 Andrew Santino? The Greenland sharks got backstage passes in Coachella?
25:28 Bobby Lee? You think so? It's like one Greenland shark watching Harry Styles.
25:34 Bobby Lee? He's just popping shit. No, uh, so I mean Greenland shark has a brain and it's right?
25:39 Andrew Santino? Hunting in the dark.
25:40 Bobby Lee? They don't have brains Greenland sharks?
25:41 Speaker 04 All they do is hunt all day.
25:42 Bobby Lee? And they have brains, right? So they have thoughts?
25:44 Speaker 04 They don't think much though.
25:45 Bobby Lee? How do you know?
25:46 Speaker 05 It says.
25:47 Andrew Santino? They're instinct, they're, they're living purely by instinct, focusing on slow motion, scavenging, opportunistic hunting in the dark. But that every day is a new day to hunt. So it must be fascinating to them because they're approaching new shit all the time. They don't stay in the same place. Do they stay in the same area? Right? Don't they?
26:01 Bobby Lee? But also.
26:02 Andrew Santino? Far and wide.
26:02 Speaker 04 Swimmers of their size. They have stealth mode.
26:05 Bobby Lee? Stealth mode. But also this, right? It's like they have to know what to eat and what not to eat. So they don't, they eat everything?
26:12 Speaker 05 That's instinct. You don't have to know.
26:13 Speaker 04 Garbage disposal.
26:14 Bobby Lee? It's just like, you know, a diet Pepsi can, aluminum can to eat. I mean.
26:17 Speaker 05 That's what instinct is. You don't have to know it.
26:19 Andrew Santino? They literally say.
26:19 Bobby Lee? So that's not a thought process?
26:21 Andrew Santino? Listen.
26:21 Bobby Lee? That's an instinct.
26:22 Speaker 05 Yeah.
26:22 Andrew Santino? Okay. Despite, despite being apex predators, they're primarily scavengers or garbage disposals with diets that include seals, polar bears, reindeer, anything. They'll eat anything. They'll eat fucking anything.
26:32 Bobby Lee? Reindeer?
26:34 Andrew Santino? Yeah. Reindeer.
26:36 Bobby Lee? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where does it say reindeer?
26:38 Andrew Santino? Right there. Right. I just.
26:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Go where?
26:41 Andrew Santino? Reindeer.
26:43 Bobby Lee? Reindeer?
26:45 Speaker 04 Santas after, you know, they dropped.
26:47 Bobby Lee? Oh, he crashes into the ocean, right? And then Greenland sharks are like, yeah, again.
26:52 Andrew Santino? Oh, oh, oh, very good. Every year he kills them.
26:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Every 300 years he does this, right? And he just eats one, huh?
27:00 Andrew Santino? What the fuck is that? Omotokota?
27:02 Speaker 04 That lives on most Greenland sharks. They just don't care because.
27:06 Bobby Lee? Oh, on their eyeballs, right? They, yeah, they, I saw a documentary where they live on the eyeball. So they can't even see.
27:12 Andrew Santino? Omotokaida. Omotokaida.
27:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
27:17 Andrew Santino? Omotokaida is a monotopic genus of corpobes, a sole species being. However, the specimen has been found on the skin of the great lantern shark, which has been assigned to the, to the genus, but not the species. But they live in the eyeball. That's amazing.
27:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
27:31 Andrew Santino? That's how much a Greenland shark does.
27:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Both eyes. So the Greenland shark can't see. You mean, cause they got little dudes on their eyes.
27:37 Andrew Santino? Just clean it out.
27:38 Bobby Lee? Well, they have no arms. That's the problem.
27:40 Andrew Santino? They don't have arms?
27:41 Bobby Lee? Oh, dude, no.
27:42 Andrew Santino? What's going on down there?
27:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah. They can't wave or anything.
27:45 Andrew Santino? Well, what if one shark?
27:46 Bobby Lee? They can't even wave to their friends like, what's up dude? I haven't seen you in 300 years.
27:52 Bobby Lee? Hey dude, I haven't seen you in 350 years. Where have you been, dude? "Oh, I was over there," he says.
27:58 Andrew Santino? There, they can blow bubbles. What if they blew bubbles right on the parasites and got it out of there?
28:03 Bobby Lee? No, they can't do it. I mean, I would rub it against like a rock or something. Can you do that?
28:07 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
28:08 Bobby Lee? Generally rub it against a rock, but I guess they don't even know how to do that.
28:11 Speaker 04 Yeah, they're dumb. They run on instinct.
28:13 Andrew Santino? Yeah, they just don't know.
28:14 Bobby Lee? They have a brain, though.
28:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, wouldn't the brain tell them to rub their eye?
28:17 Andrew Santino? No.
28:18 Bobby Lee? No, because it's like, you know, you don't, it's so dark down there, who gives a fuck?
28:22 Speaker 04 That's what Google says.
28:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so dark down there, you could have whatever on your eyes.
28:27 Andrew Santino? It doesn't matter.
28:28 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? You could put peanut butter on your eye, it doesn't even matter.
28:32 Bobby Lee? You know?
28:32 Andrew Santino? They do have peanut butter down there.
28:33 Bobby Lee? I know they do.
28:34 Andrew Santino? A lot.
28:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but you can do whatever with your eyes. You know what I mean? They can be Asian down there. They don't...
28:40 Andrew Santino? Well, they are, kind of.
28:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah. That's not even...
28:42 Andrew Santino? Asian Greenland shark?
28:43 Bobby Lee? Cut that out.
28:44 Andrew Santino? No, leave it in.
28:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. An Asian Greenland shark? Wow.
28:48 Andrew Santino? They live forever.
28:48 Bobby Lee? They live forever. Who, okay, let me ask you-
28:51 Andrew Santino? Oh, look at that, he's eating udon, right there.
28:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, let me ask you, what's the a- don't Google it yet. What's the apex predator in the ocean?
29:00 Andrew Santino? Probably...
29:01 Bobby Lee? The one that no one fucks with.
29:03 Andrew Santino? The killer whale.
29:04 Bobby Lee? That's it, dude.
29:04 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
29:05 Bobby Lee? You're brilliant, brilliant.
29:07 Andrew Santino? Thank you.
29:07 Bobby Lee? No one can bind you.
29:08 Andrew Santino? The killer whale, isn't that the host?
29:09 Bobby Lee? No one can bind him or banish him.
29:10 Andrew Santino? Can't be bound.
29:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:12 Andrew Santino? Can't be bound. Can't put me in a freezer.
29:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:13 Andrew Santino? Can't put me in a freezer.
29:14 Bobby Lee? But, yes, it's the orca.
29:16 Andrew Santino? It's the orca, yeah, the killer whale.
29:17 Bobby Lee? The killer whale, dude. Those guys are insane.
29:19 Andrew Santino? But not as cool as a sperm whale, which gets up to the size of like, you know, three school buses or whatever.
29:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but an orca, have you seen an orca pop his head out and look at you?
29:28 Andrew Santino? No.
29:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:29 Andrew Santino? I've never had it look at me.
29:30 Bobby Lee? Well, I mean, me either. I just saw it on YouTube, but I'm just saying they do it. They'll just pop up, right? With their one eye and look at you to see if some- it's something that they want to eat.
29:40 Andrew Santino? Ooh, fuck.
29:40 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? And then they go, nah, you know what I mean? And then they pop out down.
29:44 Andrew Santino? Can you imagine being eaten by one of those things? Because sharks bite, but they don't always consume. These things eat you whole.
29:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, they're not saying hello there. They're going, can I eat- should I eat you?
29:54 Andrew Santino? I'm gonna eat you.
29:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
29:55 Andrew Santino? How many people get eaten by orcas every year?
29:57 Bobby Lee? Not a lot. Let's guess, let's guess, let's guess before.
30:00 Andrew Santino? Seven.
30:01 Bobby Lee? You think so?
30:02 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
30:02 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna go 16.
30:03 Andrew Santino? Ooh, okay, all right. Orcas kill zero people a year in the wild.
30:09 Andrew Santino? No documented cases?
30:11 Bobby Lee? Wow, they don't like us. We don't taste good.
30:13 Andrew Santino? Wait a minute, for sure, I feel like we've heard a story where someone's been eaten by. While orcas are powerful apex predators, they do not view humans as prey.
30:20 Bobby Lee? We only taste good to Jeffrey Dahmer. That's the only apex predator that we taste good.
30:25 Andrew Santino? Sitting in the ocean for a long time.
30:28 Andrew Santino? Waiting for you to take a swim.
30:32 Andrew Santino? There have been no confirmed records of wild orcas killing a human. Not even researchers that are in the wrong place, wrong time. How many people are killed by polar bears every year? Let's guess.
30:43 Bobby Lee? One.
30:43 Andrew Santino? It's gotta be more than that, because researchers get killed on act- I'm saying five. Between 1870 and 2014, there were 73 confirmed polar bear attacks resulting in 20 human deaths.
30:52 Bobby Lee? In all that time?
30:54 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it's not a lot.
30:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's not a lot.
30:55 Andrew Santino? It's not a lot? It's not a lot, so it's probably less than one, percent wise.
30:59 Speaker 04 How about dogs?
31:00 Andrew Santino? How many people die by dogs every year?
31:02 Bobby Lee? Oh my god.
31:02 Andrew Santino? That one's gotta be high.
31:03 Bobby Lee? High. Guess, guess, guess.
31:07 Andrew Santino? Hmm, like 100?
31:09 Bobby Lee? No, I'll say 1,200.
31:10 Andrew Santino? Holy shit, that's a lot.
31:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
31:13 Andrew Santino? 30 to 50, I was right.
31:14 Speaker 04 It's just in the US.
31:15 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's just US. In the world, we said.
31:17 Andrew Santino? 25,000 to 30,000 human deaths annually worldwide.
31:21 Bobby Lee? I was closer.
31:22 Andrew Santino? You were way off. We were way off.
31:23 Bobby Lee? I know.
31:24 Andrew Santino? The majority of these fatalities are caused by trans-
31:26 Bobby Lee? Well, does that include-
31:27 Andrew Santino? Oh, rabies virus, people that get-
31:28 Bobby Lee? Ah, no, I'm not like, you know, we're talking about like mauling.
31:32 Andrew Santino? Mauled to death is way less.
31:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:34 Andrew Santino? Way less. India accounts for a significant portion of these deaths where high populations of stray dogs contribute to the risk. Right, those videos you see, there's just dogs, literally, there's like every human, there's another dog next to them.
31:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Dingoes, uh, probably kill people too.
31:48 Andrew Santino? They don't, it's a lie.
31:49 Bobby Lee? Dingoes don't?
31:50 Andrew Santino? No, that was like an old weird, you know, the dingo ate your babies, a falsity.
31:53 Bobby Lee? Okay.
31:53 Andrew Santino? The dingoes are just like small dogs.
31:55 Bobby Lee? Oh, they are?
31:55 Andrew Santino? Yeah, they're little tiny. You didn't see one over there?
31:59 Bobby Lee? That's our dingo.
31:59 Andrew Santino? God, I love dingoes. I love me a dingo, my- You're going back to Australia, are you excited? You're gonna go see our boys, Brad and Shrimp.
32:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I can't wait.
32:10 Andrew Santino? It's gonna be fun down there.
32:13 Bobby Lee? Okay, well, that's all a lot of our, um.
32:16 Andrew Santino? Animal talk?
32:17 Bobby Lee? Well, no, I mean, because I've been, because instead of the war, I've been trying to like get my algorithm to change to a more animal.
32:24 Andrew Santino? I've only been watching war.
32:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to do more animal, you know, around the world. So it's like, you know, trying to change my algorithm on my TikTok because it depresses me.
32:33 Andrew Santino? Well, open up your TikTok right now. What's the first video that you have up there?
32:37 Bobby Lee? I don't want to.
32:39 Andrew Santino? All right, what's your? I want to see what my algorithm is. Sean Penn and Zach Galifianakis.
32:43 Speaker 07 Rent free in my mind. I'm gonna be 37 this year and I like to think about when my parents were 37.
32:51 Bobby Lee? Like stuff like that.
32:52 Andrew Santino? Yeah, sic a Greenland shark on her.
32:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
32:55 Andrew Santino? Let me just, yeah, I'll open up and let me hear what this says then.
32:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, just here.
32:57 Andrew Santino? Here, ready?
32:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
32:59 Andrew Santino? Just here, no see?
33:03 Andrew Santino? Oh, it's a guy jumping off of a cliff doing, and skydiving.
33:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
33:09 Andrew Santino? We're in LA trying supposedly the basshawarma in the city.
33:14 Andrew Santino? Kill yourself. Everything is.
33:15 Bobby Lee? Kill yourself.
33:15 Andrew Santino? Jesus Christ.
33:16 Bobby Lee? Whenever you hear those like TikToks, I go. And I never, I disagree. Every time I disagree, I've never went, yeah, that guy was right. This is the best burrito. No, it's never happened.
33:26 Andrew Santino? Well, that's like, I saw one today that was, uh, uh, boiled hamburgers from 1903 and like they live, you know, it was like doing an advertisement for this place. And Pete's, that's it, boiled hamburgers in, in Wisconsin. And look at the video of them boiling a hamburger. This guy can't even explain, that's not it. I wish that was the video. The guy can't even explain, they were like, what do they taste like? And he's like, well, good. He couldn't even tell you.
33:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
33:52 Andrew Santino? Boiled hamburgers.
33:53 Bobby Lee? Oh my God, that sounds soggy.
33:55 Andrew Santino? So soggy.
33:56 Bobby Lee? Oh my God.
33:57 Andrew Santino? There it is, right there.
33:57 Bobby Lee? No, thank you.
33:58 Andrew Santino? Do that one, seven, celebrating down, celebrating 115 years of boiled. Yeah, this is the guy.
34:03 Bobby Lee? This guy right here?
34:03 Andrew Santino? No, no, no, that's the news. He looks like a boiled hamburger.
34:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:08 Andrew Santino? Look at that. They pour water on them the whole time.
34:12 Bobby Lee? Oh, what you're saying is that they don't boil the bun.
34:15 Andrew Santino? They boil the burger.
34:18 Bobby Lee? I thought you said, I thought you thought, a hamburger, no, no, stop, push pause, okay?
34:22 Andrew Santino? Boil the bun?
34:23 Bobby Lee? You just lied!
34:25 Andrew Santino? What?
34:25 Bobby Lee? You lied!
34:26 Andrew Santino? What are you talking about?
34:27 Bobby Lee? A hamburger is with the bun as well.
34:31 Bobby Lee? So you're saying they boil the patty?
34:34 Speaker 04 Yes, that's the part.
34:35 Bobby Lee? Well, then just say patty!
34:36 Speaker 04 They also don't boil the, the cheese or the lettuce.
34:40 Bobby Lee? That's what I thought, though. Well, then that's not a hamburger. What, what?
34:44 Andrew Santino? Are you the dumbest guy alive?
34:46 Bobby Lee? No, no, are you a liar?
34:47 Andrew Santino? When I just said, it's called a boiled hamburger. That's what it's called.
34:52 Bobby Lee? Okay, now I'm getting the context of it. So the meat, so I'm tired.
34:56 Andrew Santino? Don't even.
34:56 Bobby Lee? No, no, you don't.
34:57 Andrew Santino? Don't try to like backtrack.
34:58 Bobby Lee? I'm not backtracking out of it, dude. I need to defend my fucking life here, dude.
35:01 Andrew Santino? Please?
35:01 Bobby Lee? All right. It's just, in my mind, it's like they boil the hamburger. Now, in my mind, you envision a hamburger. Right? Which is, let me finish.
35:11 Andrew Santino? You envision a hamburger fully cooked?
35:12 Bobby Lee? Let me finish, let me finish.
35:14 Andrew Santino? And then they boiled it?
35:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, so they, see, they put the fucking bread down.
35:17 Andrew Santino? That's how you thought about it.
35:18 Bobby Lee? Then the meat, right, then onions, cheese, relish, ketchup, right? More bread, right? And then they boil the whole thing.
35:25 Andrew Santino? That's what you thought of boiling.
35:26 Bobby Lee? In my mind, I'm like, it's so soggy.
35:28 Andrew Santino? Oh my god, dude.
35:30 Bobby Lee? So if they boil the meat, that doesn't sound that bad.
35:33 Andrew Santino? It looks, look at it. That looks disgusting.
35:36 Bobby Lee? Okay.
35:36 Andrew Santino? Sloppy, it looks like a, it looks like.
35:38 Speaker 04 I mean, it's better than boiling the whole thing.
35:40 Andrew Santino? Yeah, yeah. Shouldn't boil the whole thing. So good.
35:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
35:45 Andrew Santino? Press play, watch him smash it in the water.
35:47 Bobby Lee? Okay.
35:48 Andrew Santino? I mean, it's, it's ludicrous.
35:51 Bobby Lee? Was that, is that dumb of me, really?
35:52 Andrew Santino? Yes.
35:53 Bobby Lee? No, I don't think so.
35:55 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
35:55 Speaker 04 No, no.
35:56 Bobby Lee? No.
35:57 Andrew Santino? Look, look at that, look at that. Press play. Smashing it in the water. That looks disgusting.
36:03 Bobby Lee? Okay.
36:04 Andrew Santino? Oh, God, dude.
36:06 Bobby Lee? Can you push pause for a second, please? Can I defend this? Can I still try to defend it?
36:11 Andrew Santino? Sure, wiggle your way out of this one.
36:13 Bobby Lee? Sometimes, because this is 115 years he's been doing it, right? Right? Did it not say that? Okay, so sometimes this. All right, just listen to my logic, please.
36:22 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
36:22 Bobby Lee? Before you like mock me and laugh.
36:25 Andrew Santino? I already laughed.
36:25 Bobby Lee? All right, so because if you do, your name gets back into the freezer. All right, I will, I will try to banish you again, dude. Where's mine? Anyway.
36:35 Andrew Santino? Expellius, Asianus.
36:37 Bobby Lee? All right, so just can you just listen to my theory here? Sometimes you have to think about it in context. Okay?
36:43 Speaker 04 It's everything.
36:44 Bobby Lee? It's everything, right? So it's like, you know, people go, um, you know, like music from the 60s, right? I put it in context, like this is the beginning of, you know what I mean? Stages of rock and roll, you know what I mean? And so when you're listening to it, you listen to it with that context, right? It's not as well-produced as like a Harry Styles album or, for instance, or whatever. Right? So it's like when you go to Felipe's downtown.
37:07 Andrew Santino? Love.
37:08 Bobby Lee? Great, right? Great, right? But you put in the context that this has been around for so long and they haven't really changed their menu that much. So you eat it with that context, like, oh, my God, this is like, you know what I mean? The same as it was in the 40s. And it's cool.
37:22 Andrew Santino? A Greenland shark might have had this.
37:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
37:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or are those clams?
37:27 Andrew Santino? The clams that have.
37:27 Bobby Lee? Right, so what I'm saying, yeah. So what I'm saying is these boiled hamburgers is the same thing. It's like a nostalgia thing. It's a context thing.
37:35 Andrew Santino? Oh, yeah.
37:35 Bobby Lee? You will not.
37:35 Speaker 04 When they boiled bread back then.
37:43 Bobby Lee? I just, you know. All right.
37:49 Andrew Santino? He thought they made the cheeseburger and then they boiled it.
37:55 Andrew Santino? It's insane.
37:57 Bobby Lee? I know. I, I know now, all right, now, okay. Now that, all right, now that I think of it.
38:01 Andrew Santino? By the way, I agreed with him when he goes, it's gotta be soggy. I go, yeah, I'm thinking, yeah, the meat's gotta be soggy. He's like, no, the whole thing is soggy.
38:11 Andrew Santino? And you know what, bad friends at home? Somebody, please make a boiled hamburger and send us a video of you boiling an entire hamburger and send it to Carlos in the booth at gmail.com.
38:20 Bobby Lee? Anyway, we, you know, went to Laurie's.
38:25 Speaker 04 Lowry's?
38:27 Andrew Santino? You said it like a southern black man. Went down to Lowry's. You know me and Lowry's. I love Lowry's.
38:36 Bobby Lee? Have you been to Lowry's?
38:38 Andrew Santino? Lowry's?
38:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
38:39 Andrew Santino? Yeah, Lowry's.
38:40 Bobby Lee? Have you been there?
38:40 Andrew Santino? Oh, I been.
38:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah. So, do you know what Lowry's is? Right? Have you ever had the seasoned salt, Lowry's?
38:48 Andrew Santino? Lowry's seasoning salt.
38:49 Bobby Lee? You know that, right? So, the same year, check out this information.
38:54 Andrew Santino? Lowry's.
38:54 Bobby Lee? The same year that they developed the salt, you know, I mean, the guy that invented the salt opened a restaurant in LA called Lowry's on La Cienega.
39:04 Andrew Santino? I can listen to you say it all day.
39:07 Andrew Santino? He opened up Lowry's.
39:09 Bobby Lee? Also, this is day seven of me not smoking cigarettes.
39:11 Speaker 04 Wow, you made it.
39:13 Bobby Lee? So weak of no smoking.
39:16 Andrew Santino? I'm so proud of you.
39:17 Bobby Lee? So.
39:18 Andrew Santino? But wait, you went to Lowry's?
39:19 Bobby Lee? Right, and so, you know.
39:20 Andrew Santino? Lowry's, like Kyle Lowry?
39:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, went to Lowry's, yeah.
39:24 Andrew Santino? Who that, Kyle Lowry?
39:25 Bobby Lee? Anyway, um, went to Lowry's and she's like, what, she goes, there's these, you know, the tin?
39:32 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
39:33 Bobby Lee? Well, explain it then.
39:33 Andrew Santino? I've been to Lowry's.
39:34 Bobby Lee? What is it then?
39:35 Andrew Santino? The tin.
39:36 Bobby Lee? When I say tin, what do you mean?
39:37 Andrew Santino? The tin.
39:38 Bobby Lee? No, what does it mean?
39:40 Andrew Santino? When they cart out the tin.
39:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yes!
39:41 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
39:42 Bobby Lee? Yes, exactly.
39:43 Andrew Santino? I've been there.
39:43 Bobby Lee? So, you know what you're talking about?
39:44 Andrew Santino? I've been there, I told you, told you four times. By the way, I've been there and then I never went back. I don't, I don't like it.
39:51 Bobby Lee? I like it.
39:52 Andrew Santino? You do?
39:53 Bobby Lee? Dude, it's also 60% Asians that go there.
39:55 Andrew Santino? Well, that's why I don't go.
39:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we love it.
39:58 Andrew Santino? Yeah. Once, once a race takes over a place, I'm out.
40:01 Bobby Lee? Okay, well, that's crazy.
40:03 Andrew Santino? I want it diverse.
40:04 Bobby Lee? Okay, so, anyway, we go to Lowry's.
40:06 Andrew Santino? Like that, I backed right into it. Wiggled my way out.
40:09 Bobby Lee? You wiggled your way out.
40:09 Andrew Santino? Escape room, racial escape room. I don't like it when there's too many Asians, because I like it more diverse. All right, let them out.
40:16 Bobby Lee? So, when you, right? Normally, when you go to any restaurant, right, you know, you order your prime rib.
40:26 Andrew Santino? Sure.
40:26 Bobby Lee? Right, and it just appears from the back of the kitchen. Right, somebody prepares it.
40:31 Andrew Santino? Somebody boils it back.
40:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, boils it back there.
40:37 Andrew Santino? So he boils up that prime rib. Go ahead.
40:39 Bobby Lee? Well, okay, in terms of wet bread, this is a good, a good example. What about Yorkshire pudding? That's a wet bread.
40:46 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it's not our thing.
40:47 Bobby Lee? I know, I'm just saying, so in my mind, boiled hamburger, I mean, it doesn't sound that preposterous.
40:52 Andrew Santino? I'm going home tonight and I'm boiling.
40:55 Bobby Lee? Okay, let's let it go.
40:56 Andrew Santino? All right, you're at Lowry's.
40:56 Bobby Lee? So we're at Lowry's and, and she goes, um, and what happens is you order your prime rib and there's, there's different cuts that you can get.
41:04 Andrew Santino? That's right.
41:04 Bobby Lee? There's a California cut.
41:05 Andrew Santino? Right.
41:06 Bobby Lee? There's a regular cut. I get the, um, Tokyo cut.
41:09 Andrew Santino? Of course.
41:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, cause it's, it's small. It's a small.
41:11 Andrew Santino? Catering to their audience.
41:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they, so you order a cod and all your sides and they bring a little tin cart.
41:17 Andrew Santino? And they bind your feet.
41:19 Bobby Lee? No, they don't. They don't bind. So they, they, they come with a tin cart, right? They open it up, right? And they slice it in front of you.
41:27 Andrew Santino? Right in front of your face.
41:27 Bobby Lee? Right. And they pour all the sides in front of you.
41:29 Andrew Santino? Lot of juices.
41:30 Bobby Lee? Lot of juices, right? They juice the fuck out of it, right? And you get Yorkshire pudding.
41:35 Andrew Santino? You do.
41:35 Bobby Lee? You're right, which is a wet bread.
41:37 Andrew Santino? Wet bread.
41:38 Bobby Lee? It's a wet bread.
41:38 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it's boiled bread.
41:39 Bobby Lee? It's boiled bread. And then, you know, and then she goes, why do we, they do it like this? I go, it's the nostalgia of it.
41:46 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
41:46 Bobby Lee? They've been doing it like this since like, whatever, the 40s and stuff. And that's why, um, Asian people like it because it, it, it, there's some elegance to it. It's also reminiscent of the past.
41:56 Andrew Santino? Mm hmm.
41:57 Bobby Lee? It's, it kind of reminds you of the shining ballroom in the movie, The Shining. You know what I mean? That kind of a vibe. You know what I mean? Gigantic chandeliers, kind of gaudy a little bit.
42:06 Andrew Santino? Opulent.
42:06 Bobby Lee? But also dark and it's, it's really cool place. And the food's great.
42:10 Andrew Santino? It's good.
42:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's, yeah. And it's like, but it's the, it's the, the ritual of it, right? So when you said boiled hamburgers.
42:18 Andrew Santino? You thought about Lowry's.
42:19 Bobby Lee? No, I'm just saying, to me, it's like, you know, you know, if they've been, if they've been doing it, whatever this region of this country for 115 years that way.
42:27 Andrew Santino? It was Wisconsin.
42:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
42:31 Andrew Santino? Can you imagine? This is the longest, uh, this is the longest.
42:33 Bobby Lee? A rebuttal?
42:34 Andrew Santino? Yeah, like a court case, the judge would be like, sir, sir, sir.
42:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
42:37 Andrew Santino? It's, we're throwing the case out.
42:38 Bobby Lee? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
42:39 Andrew Santino? No, it was very good though.
42:41 Bobby Lee? I think that the reason why, have we talked about me quitting smoking yet or no, last time?
42:45 Andrew Santino? Go ahead. Let's hear it.
42:46 Bobby Lee? But why I quit?
42:48 Andrew Santino? Cause it's gonna kill you.
42:49 Bobby Lee? That's not why.
42:50 Andrew Santino? Good.
42:50 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is why.
42:51 Andrew Santino? That is why.
42:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, that is why. Yeah, yeah, but.
42:54 Speaker 04 The black spit.
42:55 Andrew Santino? Yeah, the spit.
42:56 Bobby Lee? No, no, no. The reason why I quit smoking is because Remy died, my dog.
43:00 Speaker 05 Lung cancer.
43:01 Bobby Lee? No.
43:09 Andrew Santino? Going out to the coffee store? I'll be out here smoking and shit.
43:13 Bobby Lee? Let's have a stick together before we go to the coffee store. No, that's not what happened. Yeah. You have fucking lung cancer.
43:18 Andrew Santino? Your dog had stage four lung cancer.
43:19 Bobby Lee? That'd be insane.
43:20 Andrew Santino? How many packs is he smoking a day?
43:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, um. Hey, man.
43:25 Andrew Santino? Hey. That little brat, William. Now go that brat, William.
43:30 Bobby Lee? What's up, man?
43:31 Andrew Santino? Go that, go that, go that, go that, go that brat, William. We thought we'd bring in your furniture from home, make you feel comfortable.
43:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:39 Speaker 05 I, uh, I, I, I like it. I sat in the blue chair in case we're doing a gender reveal.
43:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
43:46 Speaker 05 All right, so some stuff.
43:47 Bobby Lee? This is a boiled hamburger.
43:51 Andrew Santino? So, so we've got this stuff Carlos brought us this stuff. Carlos, why did you bring us this?
43:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
43:55 Andrew Santino? What is this for?
43:56 Speaker 04 So you could see what it's like to be like Brad.
43:58 Andrew Santino? Oh.
44:01 Andrew Santino? So this is what it's like for a toothbrush?
44:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:03 Speaker 05 Okay.
44:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
44:04 Speaker 05 So then, man, so.
44:06 Andrew Santino? Wow.
44:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
44:07 Speaker 05 It's tough, isn't it?
44:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's tough.
44:09 Andrew Santino? Ends are big.
44:09 Bobby Lee? I realize how tough it is.
44:10 Speaker 05 Yeah.
44:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
44:12 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:12 Bobby Lee? But you can still write with this.
44:13 Speaker 05 Well, but you gotta use a toothbrush with two hands.
44:16 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see, I see.
44:17 Speaker 05 You gotta do a really hard scrub.
44:18 Andrew Santino? That's the only way it works.
44:19 Speaker 05 Exactly.
44:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
44:21 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
44:22 Bobby Lee? This is how they polished the pyramids.
44:26 Bobby Lee? Remember back in the day?
44:27 Speaker 05 Dwarves didn't.
44:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I wasn't there, but I'm just saying.
44:29 Andrew Santino? Wait, dwarves didn't do that?
44:30 Speaker 05 No, we didn't polish.
44:31 Bobby Lee? There was one dwarf that worked on the pyramid. How do you, the, the top one, you got, they send you up there, no?
44:37 Andrew Santino? Someone tells me the dwarf was at the bottom. They were like, yeah, get the bottom, get the stuff we can get down there.
44:42 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's like.
44:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but you can lift him to the top to put the little, you know, the temple part at the top of a pyramid.
44:47 Speaker 05 If you see a dwarf window washer, he's not doing the top.
44:49 Andrew Santino? No, he's on the bottom.
44:50 Speaker 05 He's on the bottom.
44:51 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're on the bottom?
44:52 Speaker 05 Yeah.
44:52 Bobby Lee? But you, I'm just saying you could be down the top.
44:54 Speaker 05 I've always been a power bottom, Bobby. You know this.
44:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On top is fun for you. Is, is, is top fun?
45:01 Speaker 05 For window washing or sex? What are we talking about now?
45:05 Bobby Lee? Have you ever been to Jimmy Aus?
45:07 Speaker 05 Wait, what?
45:07 Bobby Lee? Jimmy Aus.
45:08 Speaker 05 Jimmy Yao?
45:09 Bobby Lee? A U S.
45:11 Andrew Santino? It's for men five eight and under.
45:14 Bobby Lee? Because that's where I get my suits.
45:15 Andrew Santino? That's where he gets his suits. At Jimmy Owls.
45:17 Speaker 05 I didn't know this was a real place. This was never discussed in the meetings.
45:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to highly recommend Jimmy Owls. They would love you.
45:24 Speaker 05 I'm gonna have to go there.
45:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
45:26 Speaker 05 Holy shit.
45:27 Bobby Lee? I go there all the time.
45:28 Speaker 05 So like, I will walk into Jimmy Owls and just be like, wow, I have a challenge for you guys.
45:32 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
45:33 Speaker 05 You say five foot eight and under. Let's, let's hit the under.
45:36 Bobby Lee? No, they have it all.
45:37 Speaker 05 They have it all?
45:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah. They have it all there.
45:39 Speaker 05 My dwarf ass?
45:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Go to Jimmy Owls, dude.
45:42 Andrew Santino? They have a section called Your Dwarf Ass. In the back of Jimmy Owls.
45:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
45:46 Andrew Santino? We already plugged this guy so much, we're giving him good business.
45:48 Bobby Lee? I know.
45:49 Speaker 05 I mean, now, now he's gonna get
45:51 Bobby Lee? Probably Dinklage goes.
45:52 Speaker 05 All my money.
45:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:53 Speaker 05 Wait, Dinklage goes?
45:54 Andrew Santino? He hates Dinklage.
45:55 Bobby Lee? I know, I know, I know.
45:56 Andrew Santino? Arch nemesis.
45:57 Speaker 05 I can't.
45:58 Bobby Lee? But you're not gonna go at the same time. Don't you guys have like, you know what I mean, a schedule?
46:03 Andrew Santino? Aren't you guys on an app?
46:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, an app where it's like, we can't be here at the same time.
46:07 Speaker 05 Two dwarves can't be at the same time.
46:08 Bobby Lee? Because there's only one section for you people, right? So that's a lot of traffic.
46:11 Andrew Santino? Isn't there like an iDwarf app?
46:12 Bobby Lee? You have to make an appointment, you know what I mean? Like, when dwarves can come in. Yeah.
46:16 Andrew Santino? Okay, so what, what, what store?
46:18 Bobby Lee? Wait, wait, wait, go ahead.
46:20 Speaker 05 The dwarf app actually is the same as the car app, Lyft.
46:24 Andrew Santino? Lyft.
46:26 Andrew Santino? Very good.
46:27 Bobby Lee? It's good, it's good.
46:28 Andrew Santino? What store has the best dwarf clothing?
46:30 Speaker 05 Oh, the best dwarf clothing?
46:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
46:33 Andrew Santino? Like Brad's gonna go shopping today.
46:34 Bobby Lee? Aside from, um, Gap's Kids.
46:36 Speaker 05 Yeah.
46:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
46:38 Andrew Santino? Frodo's.
46:39 Bobby Lee? What called Frodo's?
46:41 Speaker 05 Let me tell you.
46:42 Andrew Santino? He can't get
46:42 Speaker 05 Let me tell you.
46:43 Bobby Lee? That's, dude, that's a great clothing
46:46 Andrew Santino? Frodo's?
46:46 Bobby Lee? Frodo's, dude? Yeah, Baggins.
46:52 Bobby Lee? Or The Shire, whatever you wanna do.
46:53 Speaker 05 Let me tell you.
46:54 Bobby Lee? I think that's a good clothing business.
46:57 Speaker 05 I will tell you where the best clothes are.
46:59 Bobby Lee? Alright, Tom.
46:59 Andrew Santino? It's at Plantain Republic.
47:01 Speaker 05 Yeah.
47:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:04 Speaker 05 You guys.
47:11 Speaker 05 Plantain Republic.
47:12 Andrew Santino? That's really funny.
47:13 Speaker 05 Well done. Well done. I will say.
47:18 Andrew Santino? Alright.
47:19 Speaker 05 The selection at Build-A-Bear.
47:25 Speaker 05 It's so great.
47:26 Andrew Santino? I knew it was coming.
47:27 Speaker 05 It's so great. I could be an astronaut. Yeah, yeah. I could be a dancer. That's so funny. I could get whatever I want there.
47:33 Andrew Santino? And then we can put a little button in you so you have somebody's voice inside your stomach when we press it.
47:37 Speaker 05 Yeah. I finally have a heartbeat. Yeah. You don't have hearts.
47:40 Bobby Lee? No, but where, because remember the other day you were at the store, a couple of months ago, and I was like, where'd you get that jacket? It's dope.
47:46 Speaker 05 Yeah.
47:48 Speaker 05 Build, Build-A-Bear.
47:50 Bobby Lee? I did ask him that.
47:51 Andrew Santino? Well.
47:52 Bobby Lee? Why'd you laugh at that?
47:53 Andrew Santino? Because they're not, they're not for you.
47:56 Bobby Lee? I know, I know. I know, but I was.
47:57 Speaker 05 That's why Bobby asked. He's like, ah, but it.
48:00 Bobby Lee? No, I was really, like, I, I liked your fit that night.
48:03 Speaker 05 Yeah.
48:03 Bobby Lee? Right, so I was asking, like, where do you get, like, I, I feel like, I go, where'd you get all that? You know what I mean? And you were explaining to me, like, you know, you know a guy.
48:11 Andrew Santino? That shirt is great. Where's that shirt from?
48:13 Speaker 05 Uh, this shirt is from a, uh, a, uh, kid's bowling team.
48:18 Andrew Santino? That's dope.
48:18 Speaker 05 And I just ju, I, I just jumped him after a match.
48:21 Andrew Santino? Imagine.
48:22 Bobby Lee? I know what it was.
48:23 Speaker 05 I could take him.
48:23 Bobby Lee? It was the pants.
48:25 Speaker 05 Oh, the pants?
48:26 Bobby Lee? You remember the pants? You go, and you, and you bought a bunch of those.
48:28 Speaker 05 Yes.
48:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so that's what it was.
48:30 Speaker 05 Yes.
48:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
48:30 Andrew Santino? So you made, yeah, if you find something that's good, see, I do that anyway. If I find something I like, I find a bunch of them.
48:35 Bobby Lee? Let's go.
48:36 Speaker 05 That's what you do. I buy them all the time.
48:38 Andrew Santino? You have to. Why? If I like it, it fits, because I don't like how certain jeans fit or pants. I'm like, I'm just gonna buy a few of these.
48:44 Speaker 05 Because, because you have the opposite problem of me. You have, like, long legs, but then no ass.
48:48 Andrew Santino? I got a nice ass.
48:49 Speaker 05 It's no ass.
48:50 Bobby Lee? No ass.
48:51 Andrew Santino? Out of your fucking.
48:51 Bobby Lee? You're out of your fucking mind.
48:52 Speaker 05 Are you kidding me? That is.
48:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
48:55 Speaker 05 But you're bending over.
48:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a really good ass.
48:57 Speaker 05 You're sticking it out.
48:58 Bobby Lee? Good ass, dude.
48:59 Andrew Santino? That's booty.
49:00 Speaker 05 Yeah, but now the pants are pushing it up.
49:01 Bobby Lee? What about mine? What about mine?
49:02 Speaker 05 Alright, hold on. Let, let, let, let me judge.
49:05 Andrew Santino? You asked for it.
49:06 Speaker 05 I asked for it?
49:07 Andrew Santino? No, it's standing straight up. Look at it now. Look at my ass.
49:10 Speaker 05 Okay. You know what? You know what?
49:12 Andrew Santino? Brother, I got a great shitter. You're out of your mind.
49:14 Speaker 05 I stand corrected?
49:15 Andrew Santino? I have a nice shitter.
49:16 Speaker 05 I, I stand corrected. Only hair at the bottom.
49:18 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
49:19 Speaker 05 How'd you do that?
49:20 Andrew Santino? Well, look at this. Look inside.
49:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. It's so pink. Dude, you have the pinkest asshole I've ever seen. It's so pink.
49:26 Andrew Santino? I won an award in 06.
49:29 Speaker 05 You definitely have a virgin asshole.
49:30 Andrew Santino? I do, brother.
49:31 Bobby Lee? It's like a pig lips asshole, this guy.
49:33 Andrew Santino? I just never been touched. It's never been touched. It's never been abused.
49:35 Bobby Lee? That's not what I'm saying. The color has nothing to do about asshole abuse.
49:38 Andrew Santino? Oh, it has a lot to do with it.
49:39 Bobby Lee? Oh, really?
49:40 Andrew Santino? Yours is darkest night.
49:41 Bobby Lee? I know. It's not like a black eye. Someone is punching my fucking asshole. I'm just ethnic.
49:47 Andrew Santino? They're punching it with their weed.
49:48 Bobby Lee? No, they're not, dude. No, they're not. It's not a black eye.
49:50 Andrew Santino? You know who lives in your asshole is the Greenland shark down there.
49:54 Bobby Lee? Who has a darker asshole, the Greenland shark or me?
49:57 Andrew Santino? By far, you.
49:59 Speaker 05 Like, I literally, you have the pinkest asshole I have ever seen.
50:03 Bobby Lee? It's so pink. It's insane.
50:05 Speaker 05 Do you shit out your mouth? Because there's no way shit comes out your asshole.
50:10 Bobby Lee? Brad, you're a genius.
50:11 Speaker 05 You must shit out your mouth.
50:12 Andrew Santino? You've seen what I do on stage. Yes, I do shit out of my mouth.
50:16 Bobby Lee? Are you a little bisexual or no?
50:18 Speaker 05 No, I, I've had a, I've had a male, male, female threesome.
50:25 Andrew Santino? Yeah, the devil's threesome.
50:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Devil's three. Yeah, yeah, I've heard of that. That move.
50:29 Speaker 05 Yeah. Devil's two and a half.
50:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
50:32 Speaker 05 It was a lot of fun.
50:34 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah.
50:35 Speaker 05 We didn't do an Eiffel Tower. We did a Leaning Tower of Pisa.
50:43 Speaker 05 There's a tall guy in me.
50:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
50:44 Speaker 05 There's a tall guy in me. So I've done that. I don't know where that put me.
50:48 Bobby Lee? But did you touch the guy at all in any way?
50:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, but it was accidental.
50:51 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah. There's always accidental rubbing.
50:53 Speaker 05 Yeah, there was. Well, like, we had to, like, we had to switch positions at one point.
50:58 Bobby Lee? Right.
50:58 Speaker 05 And this is back.
50:59 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna just tell you right now, if I ever had sex with you and another girl, I'd be laughing so fucking hard. I would not be able to get hard, dude. You know how funny that'd be? Oh, my God.
51:12 Speaker 05 You would, you would be hearing the sound of Mario getting a coin every time I thrust.
51:21 Bobby Lee? Oh my god dude, oh my god, it's so funny dude.
51:24 Speaker 05 How, alright, how scared would you be if you were having a threesome and, and the, and the other male was a dwarf? Of the, of, of the male having the bigger dick than you?
51:33 Andrew Santino? Ooh.
51:35 Speaker 05 Cause that, that's why I gotta give this guy props that had the threesome with me?
51:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
51:39 Speaker 05 Because like, he was very confident and then it turned out, I found out why. But uh, yeah, you're a big ol' hoe.
51:45 Bobby Lee? Can I ask you a serious question if, if I may, cause we're fucking around.
51:47 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:48 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean, I wanna ask him a serious question.
51:50 Andrew Santino? Of course.
51:51 Bobby Lee? I told you. Do you think as a comic, like, sometimes I think, you know, like, the reason why, you know, I had the upper hand in comedy was because I'm a smaller, a Korean dude? And I look the way that I do, right, which sets me apart from other people, you know what I mean? Do you think that the, um, dwarvism helped you in your comedy?
52:08 Speaker 05 Oh, at first it helped.
52:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
52:10 Speaker 05 And then later it hurt.
52:12 Bobby Lee? What do you mean?
52:13 Speaker 05 Because at first it helped because...
52:14 Andrew Santino? Well, cause of his joints, I mean, they're really, they're...
52:17 Speaker 05 It's hard, I had to walk a long way, those comedy stools on stage are high.
52:21 Andrew Santino? You know how high the stages?
52:22 Speaker 05 Oh my god, I had to get a sherpa for those things.
52:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
52:25 Andrew Santino? They had to make one of those, "Ooh."
52:28 Andrew Santino? Get them up on stage, go ahead.
52:30 Speaker 05 So, it helped at first.
52:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
52:32 Speaker 05 Because then, for the exact reasons that you described, that people wanted something different on the show, they didn't wanna just your average straight white male, like, like, like just a straight, redheaded, white guy, like, that's so boring.
52:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
52:43 Speaker 05 That's just so horrible and boring, even if they do have a nice hat.
52:46 Bobby Lee? Cause I believe that it was harder for you.
52:47 Andrew Santino? You let him finish, then we'll get to it, yeah.
52:49 Speaker 05 But, and then, so that got me on shows, but then it was harder to get past the threshold of people think I was a gimmick? And people to actually like, pass me on to the next stage of like, oh no, but he's, he's actually funny. Like, actually funny, he's on stage.
53:03 Bobby Lee? I don't know dude, I think that's your own head saying that, because it's like, you know what I mean?
53:06 Andrew Santino? There was a lot of space in it.
53:07 Speaker 05 There's a lot of space.
53:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
53:08 Speaker 05 That's an echo.
53:09 Bobby Lee? Oh, it's an echo, okay. Yeah.
53:12 Speaker 05 That's a big ol' head.
53:13 Bobby Lee? When I was on the cruise when I was performing, I thought to myself, Brad, you would have just disappeared because he was shaking back and forth.
53:19 Speaker 05 Oh my god. I love.
53:21 Bobby Lee? You mean gone to the other side.
53:22 Speaker 05 Dude, I love comedy on cruises.
53:24 Bobby Lee? Fun, right?
53:25 Andrew Santino? Fun, he loved it.
53:26 Speaker 05 When it's a theme cruise.
53:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
53:27 Speaker 05 Did you do the, do the Joker's one and Burt's Cruise?
53:29 Bobby Lee? No, I did the, um, the Workaholics guys.
53:32 Speaker 05 Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.
53:33 Bobby Lee? That was really fun.
53:34 Speaker 05 That, yeah.
53:34 Bobby Lee? It was me, Swartz, and it was so much fun.
53:36 Speaker 05 That's so cool.
53:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
53:37 Speaker 05 Uh, I do the Chris Jericho Rockin' Wrestling Rager at Sea.
53:40 Bobby Lee? Wow.
53:41 Speaker 05 So that's pro wrestling, comedy, and heavy metal on a boat.
53:45 Andrew Santino? Wow. Do you get to wrestle?
53:46 Speaker 05 Oh, there's clips.
53:47 Andrew Santino? Oh, really?
53:48 Speaker 05 Yeah, there, there is a clip of me giving Horn Swaggle a Stone Cold Stunner. You can find that.
53:54 Andrew Santino? No fucking way.
53:55 Speaker 05 Yeah.
54:02 Andrew Santino? Oh, he took off your hat?
54:03 Speaker 05 He stole my hat, that son of a bitch. Gives me the finger.
54:09 Bobby Lee? Oh, my God.
54:10 Speaker 05 That was the moment when like Sonic the Hedgehog gets hit and the coins just fly out of him.
54:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
54:15 Speaker 05 Me giving another dwarf a stunner.
54:17 Andrew Santino? You gotta go down there, it's gonna take him an hour to get back up.
54:20 Bobby Lee? Wow, that sounds so much.
54:21 Speaker 05 That was so much fun. So like, so like, as a wrestling fan, I can tell you like, the holy shit chant is like, uh, one of the best compliments a wrestler can get. And, and we got that just staring at each other.
54:33 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow. Wow, wow.
54:35 Speaker 05 I, I didn't have to go through like a table of thumbtacks or anything like that.
54:38 Andrew Santino? Look at that, that's a very holy shit moment.
54:40 Bobby Lee? Did you practice that?
54:41 Speaker 05 No.
54:41 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's instinctual?
54:43 Speaker 05 Felt it in the moment, man. Yeah, and that's a dwarf on dwarf crime.
54:47 Andrew Santino? Okay.
54:49 Bobby Lee? Wow.
54:50 Andrew Santino? I love one of those stats on dwarf on dwarf crime. That's my, look at my favorite thing. You, you did it, but it was the same height as before.
54:59 Speaker 05 As I'm sitting down, it's the same.
55:01 Andrew Santino? Same height.
55:03 Speaker 05 Bro, I have watched dwarves get into actual fights. It is so funny.
55:07 Andrew Santino? Really?
55:08 Speaker 05 It is so funny. I, so, every summer, there's a, there's a national dwarf convention.
55:14 Andrew Santino? Oh, my God, we gotta go.
55:15 Bobby Lee? We gotta go.
55:16 Andrew Santino? Where is it?
55:16 Speaker 05 Uh, this year it's in Door. This year it's in Door. That's very good. Uh, this year it's in New Orleans.
55:23 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow. We gotta go.
55:25 Speaker 05 Yeah.
55:25 Bobby Lee? Little Rock?
55:28 Speaker 05 Smallville.
55:32 Speaker 05 Pebleton.
55:35 Andrew Santino? The little people of America and the LPA National Conference is an annual week-long event, providing support, education, community for people with dwarfism and their families and.
55:43 Speaker 05 That's a fun way of saying boning.
55:45 Andrew Santino? Last year.
55:46 Speaker 05 Cause that's all for.
55:47 Andrew Santino? Last year was in San Diego.
55:48 Speaker 05 Yeah, wow, I went to that one.
55:50 Andrew Santino? So, um, the tickets half off, so when. Stop it, dude. Minneapolis. Minneapolis.
55:59 Bobby Lee? That's a good one.
56:00 Andrew Santino? Very good.
56:01 Bobby Lee? That's a really good one.
56:02 Andrew Santino? Very good. So, so this year.
56:04 Speaker 05 It should not be in Ireland. If it's in Ireland, we're gonna trip some people the fuck out.
56:09 Andrew Santino? Yeah, dude.
56:09 Speaker 05 Yeah, someone's gonna walk out of a pub and go, holy shit.
56:12 Andrew Santino? This is like the, it's like when the crickets fell from the sky, you know, they see these guys. It's happening.
56:16 Speaker 05 It's a fucking sign of the apocalypse.
56:18 Andrew Santino? So click on that thing, the future national, I wanna see this 2026, it's happening in July.
56:23 Speaker 05 Yep, July, it's in New Orleans and then 2027, it's in New York, New York.
56:27 Andrew Santino? Wow, wait, why can't we go to this? Is it, is it?
56:30 Bobby Lee? If we went, would it be weird or no?
56:32 Speaker 05 Yeah, okay.
56:35 Speaker 05 I mean, we.
56:35 Andrew Santino? Yeah, we'd be showing off.
56:36 Speaker 05 Yeah, we don't have security guards or anything.
56:39 Bobby Lee? Oh, okay.
56:39 Andrew Santino? Yeah, but what if you guys need to grab something from up on a top shelf or something?
56:43 Speaker 05 We need you guys.
56:44 Bobby Lee? Do, but I mean, but, but the people that are working there are not dwarves, are there or no?
56:48 Speaker 05 I mean, yeah, it's all, it's all.
56:50 Andrew Santino? So everyone.
56:51 Bobby Lee? Everyone working there is dwarves as well.
56:53 Speaker 05 Yeah.
56:53 Bobby Lee? Wow.
56:54 Speaker 05 Yeah, so like.
56:55 Bobby Lee? Is the building smaller?
56:57 Speaker 05 No, it's, it's a regular hotel, which always trips me out, cause there's people staying in this hotel that don't know there's a dwarf convention going on when they book it and they just show up like I've hit the.
57:06 Andrew Santino? Some guy on a sales trip walks into the, the marquee, walks out of the bar there in the lobby, he's like, fuck.
57:14 Speaker 05 Could you, could you imagine if you did drugs for like the first time and then you woke up the next day?
57:19 Andrew Santino? Marriott?
57:20 Speaker 05 You're surrounded by dwarves.
57:23 Andrew Santino? Tripping on mushrooms.
57:24 Speaker 05 I'd be like, holy shit, I fell into Narnia.
57:27 Bobby Lee? So how many people go to this convention?
57:29 Speaker 05 Over a thousand.
57:29 Bobby Lee? Right, so that's like 300 regular people.
57:31 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah.
57:33 Andrew Santino? A thousand little people go every single year. And now, is this raising money for anything at all?
57:38 Speaker 05 Yeah.
57:38 Andrew Santino? So it's a charity?
57:39 Speaker 05 LPA.
57:40 Bobby Lee? What does that stand for, LPA?
57:41 Speaker 05 Little People of America.
57:42 Bobby Lee? Oh, there is an organization.
57:43 Speaker 05 Yeah. Little People of America.
57:48 Speaker 05 L P S in America.
57:50 Bobby Lee? Wow.
57:50 Speaker 05 Yeah.
57:51 Andrew Santino? And now, now, this is actually, let's be honest.
57:53 Speaker 05 Mm-hmm.
57:54 Andrew Santino? This is similar to summer camps and all that stuff. This is just a hookup convention for young, single.
58:00 Speaker 05 Yeah.
58:00 Andrew Santino? Yes.
58:00 Speaker 05 Yeah. You, you, you go all year and you're, and you're friend zoned, and then you go to a dwarf convention, and you're hot as fuck.
58:07 Andrew Santino? That's pretty cool.
58:08 Speaker 05 And it's awesome, like.
58:09 Andrew Santino? Now, were you getting laid at these when you were single, when you were going to these?
58:12 Speaker 05 Bro.
58:12 Andrew Santino? Wait, wait, seriously?
58:13 Bobby Lee? With other dwarves?
58:14 Speaker 05 Bro.
58:15 Andrew Santino? Really?
58:15 Bobby Lee? Really?
58:16 Speaker 05 I've got stories.
58:17 Andrew Santino? Give us a story.
58:18 Speaker 05 I've got a story. I've laid, I've laid waste to some little women.
58:22 Andrew Santino? What? And have, what was the?
58:24 Bobby Lee? So little women turn you on?
58:26 Speaker 05 Yeah.
58:26 Bobby Lee? Oh, okay.
58:27 Andrew Santino? You're married to, you're married to, well, what do you mean, little women turn you on?
58:32 Speaker 05 Yeah, why is that funny?
58:33 Speaker 04 Because you acted surprised.
58:34 Speaker 05 No, I.
58:35 Andrew Santino? No, he inquired.
58:36 Speaker 05 No, because I'll, I'll tell you why. Because I know some Asian dudes are attracted to white girls and not attracted.
58:41 Andrew Santino? Not the same.
58:42 Speaker 05 It is the same. Traitors.
58:43 Andrew Santino? No, it's not.
58:44 Speaker 05 Yeah. They're traitors, right? Yeah.
58:46 Andrew Santino? Well, he's, he's married to a full-size Asian woman.
58:49 Speaker 05 I understand that. I know her.
58:51 Andrew Santino? He's a traitor. He's a traitor.
58:53 Speaker 05 Yeah, he's not a traitor.
58:54 Andrew Santino? That's, that was your point.
58:55 Speaker 05 You kind of are a traitor. Lot, lot, lot of the dwarf women call me a traitor.
58:59 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
58:59 Speaker 05 Do they really? Yeah. That's insane! Yeah, this is very true.
59:02 Andrew Santino? No, what do you mean? This is the same as like?
59:04 Speaker 04 Black guys.
59:05 Andrew Santino? What?
59:05 Speaker 04 Like, black guys with, uh, white girls.
59:07 Speaker 05 Yeah.
59:08 Andrew Santino? What's up?
59:11 Speaker 04 Like, black dudes when they're with white girls.
59:12 Speaker 05 That doesn't happen.
59:14 Speaker 04 And vice versa.
59:16 Andrew Santino? Hey, hey.
59:16 Speaker 04 Who's the traitor today?
59:17 Andrew Santino? You gonna leave him out there?
59:19 Speaker 05 Yeah.
59:19 Andrew Santino? Go ahead, let him fly.
59:20 Speaker 04 Oh, no, I don't need help on this, because I know it's true.
59:23 Andrew Santino? Okay.
59:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
59:23 Speaker 05 Oh, he, oh, he knows about black.
59:25 Bobby Lee? Didn't the black women complain that, uh, black men are?
59:28 Speaker 04 With white girls.
59:29 Bobby Lee? Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah.
59:30 Andrew Santino? Oh, dude.
59:31 Speaker 04 That's what he meant.
59:31 Andrew Santino? I thought he meant, he didn't like it.
59:35 Speaker 05 Oh.
59:35 Bobby Lee? Oh, no, no.
59:37 Andrew Santino? I was like, are you good?
59:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
59:39 Speaker 04 No.
59:40 Bobby Lee? I didn't, I didn't read that.
59:41 Speaker 05 Yeah.
59:41 Andrew Santino? But you understand, that was my boiled hamburger moment.
59:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
59:45 Speaker 05 But also, he didn't, but also, he doesn't like it.
59:47 Andrew Santino? But he doesn't like it. No, yeah, for what it's worth, yeah.
59:50 Speaker 05 Let's be honest.
59:51 Andrew Santino? Yeah, but, but, okay, how many? And these are all, you're all consenting adults.
59:56 Speaker 05 That's true.
59:56 Andrew Santino? How many little people, how many little women, love that movie. How many little women, how many little women?
1:00:02 Speaker 05 We should remake it with little women.
1:00:04 Andrew Santino? Why did they not?
1:00:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:00:06 Speaker 05 How is that not?
1:00:07 Andrew Santino? How many little women in a weekend, it's a weekend?
1:00:09 Speaker 05 Uh, it's a week.
1:00:10 Andrew Santino? It's a full week?
1:00:11 Speaker 05 Yeah, full week.
1:00:12 Andrew Santino? What was the full takedown number of a full week?
1:00:14 Speaker 05 Of my-
1:00:15 Andrew Santino? How many women did you sleep with?
1:00:16 Speaker 05 Of my best year?
1:00:17 Andrew Santino? Your best year?
1:00:18 Speaker 05 I mean, we, we hit two hands.
1:00:20 Andrew Santino? No way.
1:00:21 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:22 Andrew Santino? You're talking one or two a day?
1:00:24 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:25 Andrew Santino? Wow.
1:00:26 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:00:26 Speaker 05 It was fun.
1:00:27 Andrew Santino? Wow.
1:00:27 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:00:28 Andrew Santino? I told you, it's a fuck carnival.
1:00:29 Speaker 05 I, I was fucking Matt Rife at that damn thing. It was great.
1:00:32 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:00:33 Andrew Santino? You hooked up with Matt Rife?
1:00:34 Bobby Lee? You're the Matt Rife of little people.
1:00:36 Speaker 05 The Matt Rife of little people.
1:00:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, wow.
1:00:39 Andrew Santino? He's doing crowd work.
1:00:42 Speaker 05 No, I had a, I had a very good time when I was single.
1:00:45 Andrew Santino? God, that's amazing.
1:00:46 Speaker 05 It was fun.
1:00:47 Bobby Lee? But who do you find more attractive, um, little people or?
1:00:51 Speaker 05 Uh, and, and this sounds-
1:00:53 Andrew Santino? Non-little-
1:00:53 Bobby Lee? Or non-little people. Like, what do you?
1:00:55 Speaker 05 Or Reachers.
1:00:56 Bobby Lee? Or Reachers.
1:00:57 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, can we call them Reachers?
1:00:58 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:58 Andrew Santino? Wait, what's our, what's our derogatory names? Reachers, what's the other one you call us?
1:01:01 Speaker 05 Biggers.
1:01:02 Andrew Santino? Bigger, yeah, bigger.
1:01:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:04 Andrew Santino? Big Uz, Big Uz.
1:01:05 Bobby Lee? So who do you, what do you find more attractive?
1:01:07 Speaker 05 No, I, I say hard R.
1:01:09 Andrew Santino? Okay.
1:01:10 Speaker 05 You have to say Big-
1:01:11 Andrew Santino? Say Big Uz.
1:01:11 Speaker 05 Yeah, I can say Big Erz.
1:01:13 Andrew Santino? Okay, okay, got it.
1:01:14 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:01:14 Speaker 05 Don't like you, Big Erz.
1:01:16 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
1:01:16 Speaker 05 Biggers be crazy.
1:01:17 Bobby Lee? So do you prefer Big Uz, Big Uz, or, uh, or do you prefer, um, Little Uz?
1:01:23 Andrew Santino? Litlers, Litlers.
1:01:25 Bobby Lee? Little Uz, right?
1:01:26 Speaker 05 Liliputians.
1:01:27 Bobby Lee? Liliputians. Yeah, I'm just learning this.
1:01:30 Speaker 05 It, it sounds crazy, but I truly don't have a preference.
1:01:33 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah.
1:01:33 Speaker 05 I truly don't.
1:01:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:01:34 Andrew Santino? Cause he's been with both women.
1:01:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:01:36 Speaker 05 It's great.
1:01:36 Bobby Lee? I've just never had the opportunity to date a, a, a little person.
1:01:40 Speaker 05 Come on, you're Asian, there's plenty.
1:01:44 Andrew Santino? To many women, to many women, you are the little person.
1:01:48 Speaker 05 Okay.
1:01:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. But you know what I mean, though?
1:01:54 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:01:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, have you had the opportunity? Like, I've never been hit on by a little person, or...
1:01:58 Speaker 05 Gotta go to the convention, man.
1:01:59 Andrew Santino? Yeah, I mean, I've never, I never have. That's kinda crazy. No, I've never been hit on, but, but, because here's the thing. Every time I've ever seen like a little woman, she's with a little man.
1:02:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:02:11 Andrew Santino? It's, it's, it's, it's like, I've seen many little men in pub, little men, I've seen, I don't know.
1:02:17 Bobby Lee? Slow down. Ballers, yeah, yeah.
1:02:20 Andrew Santino? I've seen many male dwarfs in public without women, like by themselves or in a group. But I've almost never seen a dwarf woman with a group of other dwarf women in public out on the town.
1:02:32 Bobby Lee? Why, there needs to be more than one. Do you have a selection?
1:02:35 Andrew Santino? I'm just saying.
1:02:35 Speaker 05 What do you call that group?
1:02:36 Bobby Lee? They're not M and Ms.
1:02:37 Andrew Santino? What do I call them?
1:02:38 Speaker 05 Yeah. Like a murder of crows?
1:02:40 Bobby Lee? I like the green M and Ms.
1:02:42 Speaker 05 What's a group of dwarves? Is it a, is it a coaster of dwarves?
1:02:50 Andrew Santino? I don't know, dude. I've never seen a handful.
1:02:55 Andrew Santino? Look at those girls, they're a handful of them.
1:02:57 Bobby Lee? I can see like 20 women coming out of a Waymo.
1:03:01 Speaker 05 Bro, there, there was one time at a convention where, uh, there, there was, there was a group. There was a group action going on, and there was...
1:03:11 Andrew Santino? Wait a minute, there was an orgy?
1:03:12 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:03:12 Bobby Lee? Of, of little people having, little people orgy?
1:03:15 Speaker 05 Mm-hmm.
1:03:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:03:15 Speaker 05 And there was about, but that...
1:03:17 Bobby Lee? LPOs. I call them LPOs.
1:03:19 Andrew Santino? Stop it, Carlos. Stop it.
1:03:22 Bobby Lee? Stop it, stop it, stop it.
1:03:23 Speaker 05 We all slept in the same bed that night, but instead, we slept like sideways.
1:03:30 Bobby Lee? Like sardines?
1:03:37 Speaker 05 We, we, we fit.
1:03:39 Andrew Santino? You fit.
1:03:39 Speaker 05 We fit.
1:03:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Wow.
1:03:41 Andrew Santino? Well, that's the best thing about that convention. You guys can all share a room, huh?
1:03:44 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:03:45 Bobby Lee? Like puppies and stuff.
1:03:46 Speaker 05 Yes.
1:03:47 Bobby Lee? Like a litter. Do you call it a litter?
1:03:50 Speaker 05 He told you it's called a handful.
1:03:52 Andrew Santino? Handful.
1:03:53 Speaker 05 And full of one.
1:03:54 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:03:54 Speaker 05 And, uh, yeah, yeah, you throw a couple pillows in the bathtub, you can fit three more in there.
1:03:59 Bobby Lee? Wow, wow.
1:04:00 Speaker 05 You're good.
1:04:00 Bobby Lee? So how many people fit on the bed? I want to do the math on this.
1:04:03 Speaker 05 So, and this is real.
1:04:05 Bobby Lee? It's, what size bed, is it?
1:04:07 Andrew Santino? Wait, wait, wait.
1:04:08 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:04:08 Andrew Santino? It's a king hotel bed.
1:04:10 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:04:10 Andrew Santino? He's gonna tell you what is actually real.
1:04:12 Bobby Lee? Oh, tell me.
1:04:12 Andrew Santino? No jokes.
1:04:13 Bobby Lee? No jokes.
1:04:13 Speaker 05 No jokes. We always make sure there's either like six or eight of us.
1:04:18 Andrew Santino? Oh my god.
1:04:20 Speaker 05 There can't be seven of us.
1:04:22 Bobby Lee? Why?
1:04:23 Speaker 04 The animals are starting to sing.
1:04:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:04:27 Speaker 05 We do that on purpose. There's just like a sleeping white girl.
1:04:32 Speaker 05 We will literally look around and be like, okay, there's six. If one guy comes up, we're like, you can't come in.
1:04:36 Andrew Santino? You can't come in.
1:04:38 Speaker 05 Find another.
1:04:38 Bobby Lee? That's, really, that's lore then. It's a lore thing.
1:04:41 Speaker 05 We don't like it.
1:04:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't like it?
1:04:43 Speaker 05 Yeah, we like, we're, there can't, there cannot be seven of us in a room.
1:04:46 Bobby Lee? Wow, that's so funny. But that's really funny. Nine's fine, though.
1:04:50 Speaker 05 No, yeah, yeah.
1:04:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Any none but seven, because, okay.
1:04:52 Speaker 05 Totally cool.
1:04:53 Bobby Lee? Because of the movie.
1:04:55 Speaker 05 Yeah, by the way, did, uh, did you guys see the, the results of the Razzie Awards?
1:05:00 Andrew Santino? No.
1:05:01 Bobby Lee? No.
1:05:01 Speaker 05 Uh, the CGI dwarf actors.
1:05:04 Andrew Santino? Oh, that's right, you, you told me that.
1:05:05 Speaker 05 Won an award, which I think is-
1:05:08 Bobby Lee? I think that's great.
1:05:08 Speaker 05 Fucking fantastic.
1:05:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:10 Speaker 05 That, you know, it was, uh, not actual dwarves playing the dwarves.
1:05:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:14 Andrew Santino? Which I know you have a big gripe with.
1:05:16 Bobby Lee? Are you still mad at that?
1:05:17 Speaker 05 Yeah, of course I'm still mad at that. I'm just, I'm just on the fucking payday, dude.
1:05:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:05:21 Andrew Santino? All, all seven artificial dwarves, all the AI CGI dwarves got, yeah.
1:05:24 Speaker 05 Yeah, as we're, as we're supporting actor.
1:05:27 Andrew Santino? And Nicolas Cage was up there. Stephen Dorff, Greg Kinnear, and Sylvester Stallone.
1:05:31 Bobby Lee? Who was Cage, were Cage for what?
1:05:33 Andrew Santino? Gunslingers.
1:05:34 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see.
1:05:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, we, yeah.
1:05:36 Bobby Lee? I think he phones it in.
1:05:37 Speaker 05 Seven, uh, seven CGI dwarves.
1:05:39 Andrew Santino? Didn't use to.
1:05:40 Speaker 05 Won for we're supporting actor, and according to this website, uh, they took home a joint Razzie, stealing yet another award that could have gone to a real life dwarf actor.
1:05:51 Bobby Lee? Let me ask you something.
1:05:52 Speaker 05 I could have won that Razzie.
1:05:53 Bobby Lee? Now, if they did use, uh, dwarves in the actual movie and you didn't get the part of the seven, would you be mad?
1:05:59 Speaker 05 Heartbroken.
1:06:00 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah. That would be heartbreaking.
1:06:02 Speaker 05 It's like-
1:06:02 Bobby Lee? Being one of the funniest guys on planet Earth and not getting it?
1:06:05 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:06:05 Bobby Lee? Because they're, right? That would be heartbreaking.
1:06:07 Speaker 05 It, it, it truly would be, because it's like, there, there, there's not that many of us.
1:06:12 Andrew Santino? Well, in the acting, in the acting space, yeah.
1:06:14 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:06:15 Bobby Lee? Like, how many in the-
1:06:15 Andrew Santino? I would argue there's too many of you in the non-acting.
1:06:20 Speaker 05 Gotta get you down to one profession.
1:06:23 Bobby Lee? Probably 20, right?
1:06:24 Speaker 05 I mean, you see the same guys at every audition.
1:06:26 Bobby Lee? Right.
1:06:27 Speaker 05 You know, like-
1:06:27 Bobby Lee? So it's like 50/50 getting it for you? Probably.
1:06:30 Speaker 05 Yeah, if they used dwarfs.
1:06:31 Bobby Lee? Who's your like Frederick Douglass or?
1:06:36 Bobby Lee? Like, is there a historical figure that you can go back to?
1:06:38 Speaker 05 Absolutely.
1:06:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, who is it?
1:06:40 Speaker 05 Billy Barty.
1:06:41 Andrew Santino? Billy Barty?
1:06:41 Bobby Lee? That's what I want to know. Look up Billy Barty here.
1:06:43 Speaker 05 Billy Barty, uh, he was an actor and he actually founded Little People of America. He founded LPA.
1:06:49 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:06:50 Speaker 05 So we, so all of those orgies happened because of Billy Barty.
1:06:53 Andrew Santino? Yeah, thank you, Billy Barty.
1:06:55 Bobby Lee? That's your MLK?
1:06:56 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:06:56 Bobby Lee? Okay, wow, yeah.
1:06:58 Speaker 05 We, we, we should at least get a half day off work.
1:07:00 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah.
1:07:02 Speaker 05 For, for his birthday.
1:07:04 Bobby Lee? I had a dream!
1:07:07 Bobby Lee? You're right. He has a speech.
1:07:10 Speaker 05 I mean, I'd make fun of you, but that's kind of what he sounded like.
1:07:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:07:14 Andrew Santino? Billy Barty.
1:07:15 Speaker 05 Yeah, that, so that, yeah, so that's our guy.
1:07:17 Bobby Lee? Wow, that's your guy.
1:07:18 Andrew Santino? And how, and how, and how long ago did he pass away? How long has he been dead?
1:07:21 Speaker 05 Uh, I don't know.
1:07:23 Andrew Santino? Let me see, 2000 he died.
1:07:24 Speaker 05 2000.
1:07:24 Bobby Lee? So you never met him?
1:07:25 Speaker 05 Oh, no, I, I, I've met him.
1:07:27 Bobby Lee? You've met Billy Barty?
1:07:28 Speaker 05 Yeah, I've met him.
1:07:29 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:07:30 Speaker 05 Yeah, he's a great guy.
1:07:31 Bobby Lee? And would you get nervous when you met him?
1:07:32 Speaker 05 No, because I didn't really know who he was. But then, at the time-
1:07:36 Andrew Santino? He didn't know his social impact.
1:07:37 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:07:38 Bobby Lee? At the time you didn't?
1:07:39 Speaker 05 Yeah, and now, and now I know.
1:07:40 Bobby Lee? So you blew off Billy Barty?
1:07:41 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:07:44 Andrew Santino? He was in Willow?
1:07:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:07:46 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:07:46 Andrew Santino? He was just-
1:07:46 Bobby Lee? I remember him in Willow, yeah, yeah.
1:07:47 Speaker 05 He was the sorcerer. It's like the power to control the universe is in what finger?
1:07:52 Bobby Lee? Was he R2-D2 or?
1:07:53 Speaker 05 No, that was Kenny Baker.
1:07:54 Bobby Lee? Oh, Kenny Baker.
1:07:55 Speaker 05 I know way too much.
1:07:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. You know your history. I think that's important.
1:07:59 Speaker 05 I gotta know my history. They gave, they gave us a month finally. Yeah, so it's more of a pamphlet, not really a whole book.
1:08:07 Andrew Santino? So he died at what, what does it say?
1:08:09 Speaker 05 No.
1:08:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:08:09 Andrew Santino? 76, is that what he was?
1:08:11 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:08:11 Bobby Lee? But historically, but historically, who's your, like, do you have a Genghis Khan back then or?
1:08:17 Speaker 05 Oh, like, oh, like, oh, like a dwarf.
1:08:18 Andrew Santino? Evil dwarf.
1:08:19 Bobby Lee? Like, is there an evil dwarf back then, like 203, 400 years?
1:08:22 Speaker 05 I mean, I think- Uh, there was one dwarf serial killer.
1:08:27 Bobby Lee? Oh, whoa, this is dude.
1:08:28 Speaker 05 Uh, I forget his name.
1:08:31 Andrew Santino? Well, look at this. There's, there's a couple here. There's, uh, Tom Thumb, the original Tom Thumb, Charles Stratton.
1:08:35 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:08:36 Andrew Santino? And then there was, um, uh, Count Joseph Borowski, a 3-3 Polish born entertainer, musician, author who was welcomed to European courts, later lived in England, the Ovitz family, family of Jewish entertainers in Romania.
1:08:48 Speaker 05 The O, okay, the Ovitz family, I, i- if, if you gave me unlimited power in Hollywood, I'd make that movie.
1:08:56 Andrew Santino? The Ovitz family.
1:08:56 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:08:57 Bobby Lee? Why, why, why, why?
1:08:58 Speaker 05 They were a family of Jewish dwarves from Romania, but they were taken to Auschwitz. And, uh, they were experimented on and like they were did all, and not all of them survived.
1:09:07 Andrew Santino? Don't do it.
1:09:08 Speaker 05 It, come on, do it.
1:09:09 Andrew Santino? Don't.
1:09:10 Speaker 05 Do it, Bobby.
1:09:11 Andrew Santino? Don't.
1:09:11 Bobby Lee? I didn't even, what do you?
1:09:12 Andrew Santino? It's a hat, it's a hat on a hat. Don't do it.
1:09:14 Bobby Lee? I really don't have a joke for it.
1:09:15 Andrew Santino? Don't.
1:09:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you don't do it, dude.
1:09:17 Andrew Santino? Don't.
1:09:17 Speaker 05 Do it to my face.
1:09:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:09:18 Andrew Santino? Don't.
1:09:18 Speaker 05 Look at me.
1:09:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:09:20 Speaker 05 Remember I have a child?
1:09:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:09:23 Andrew Santino? The little train.
1:09:32 Andrew Santino? Stop it!
1:09:33 Speaker 05 You want?
1:09:34 Andrew Santino? Is it gonna put you guys in the toaster oven?
1:09:36 Speaker 05 Easy bake, easy bake.
1:09:39 Bobby Lee? You guys are in dog cages?
1:09:43 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, you heard the ding of the easy bake. You're like, ding, dwarves are done.
1:09:47 Andrew Santino? Oh, my God.
1:09:48 Speaker 05 So, those are the worst jokes ever.
1:09:49 Andrew Santino? The dwarves of Auschwitz.
1:09:51 Speaker 05 Yep.
1:09:51 Andrew Santino? Wow, that's so fucked up.
1:09:53 Bobby Lee? That's so fucked up.
1:09:54 Speaker 05 That's the documentary that was.
1:09:55 Bobby Lee? Dude, now, now, the food, it turns, no, no.
1:09:58 Andrew Santino? Stop.
1:09:58 Bobby Lee? No, I would ask.
1:09:59 Andrew Santino? What are you doing?
1:10:00 Bobby Lee? I'm being real, though.
1:10:00 Andrew Santino? Stop it!
1:10:01 Bobby Lee? Can I be real about it?
1:10:02 Andrew Santino? Please?
1:10:02 Bobby Lee? Right, it's just like, you mean, right, you, they weren't as hungry as.
1:10:08 Andrew Santino? I knew it. I knew it.
1:10:09 Bobby Lee? Because it's a matter of, they give you like less bread.
1:10:13 Speaker 05 They give everyone a slice of bread. We're sitting there like, we're eating good tonight, boys.
1:10:16 Bobby Lee? You just get like, a crouton.
1:10:20 Speaker 05 We gotta starve the dwarves. What, what, what do we do? Crouton. Crouton.
1:10:23 Bobby Lee? Give him a crouton.
1:10:24 Andrew Santino? Crouton is a loaf of bread.
1:10:26 Bobby Lee? What are you gonna fuck a loaf of bread?
1:10:29 Bobby Lee? Did you guys get the same amount of food?
1:10:32 Speaker 05 I don't know, I wasn't there.
1:10:33 Bobby Lee? Okay, alright.
1:10:34 Speaker 05 That old?
1:10:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright.
1:10:35 Speaker 05 Seven dwarves of Auschwitz. The fact that there were seven of them.
1:10:38 Andrew Santino? Oh my god. Seven dwarves of Auschwitz, that's the original story.
1:10:41 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:10:43 Andrew Santino? That is crazy.
1:10:44 Speaker 05 Remake that, Disney, and I swear to god if you CGI people.
1:10:48 Bobby Lee? Seven dwarf Auschwitz, that's a cool fuck, wow, they gotta make that movie.
1:10:53 Speaker 05 I really want that too.
1:10:54 Bobby Lee? That's a movie that you should produce.
1:10:55 Speaker 05 I wanna produce it.
1:10:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:10:56 Speaker 05 I just don't have enough money right now.
1:10:58 Andrew Santino? No, you gotta find the rights to it, is what you gotta do.
1:11:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, who has the IP of that?
1:11:02 Speaker 05 Who the hell is John the Dwarf?
1:11:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:11:05 Speaker 05 John the Dwarf, the desert father of early Christianity?
1:11:08 Andrew Santino? Yeah, John the...
1:11:09 Speaker 05 What?
1:11:09 Andrew Santino? John the Dwarf.
1:11:10 Speaker 05 Blame me?
1:11:11 Andrew Santino? A Coptic desert, yeah, the Coptic desert father, yeah.
1:11:13 Speaker 05 Alright. And then there was one dwarf I know who was actually the one that actually mapped, like, uh, the inside of the human body. Like, one of the first ones.
1:11:23 Andrew Santino? Well, cause he could crawl in there.
1:11:24 Speaker 05 Exactly.
1:11:45 Speaker 05 Make one slice and I'm in there.
1:11:47 Andrew Santino? Fuck.
1:11:48 Bobby Lee? Through where?
1:11:49 Speaker 05 How do you know where the liver is? I've been there.
1:11:52 Andrew Santino? Cause I have been.
1:11:53 Speaker 05 I've been there, I can tell the tale.
1:11:55 Bobby Lee? We're so sorry, man.
1:11:57 Speaker 05 Why?
1:11:57 Bobby Lee? I feel bad, I feel...
1:11:58 Speaker 05 It's funny.
1:11:59 Bobby Lee? That's not funny, dude.
1:12:00 Speaker 05 It's okay.
1:12:01 Bobby Lee? It's so fucked up.
1:12:02 Speaker 05 It's alright.
1:12:04 Andrew Santino? I see him just crawling around in there. He's crawling around.
1:12:14 Speaker 05 Andrew, Andrew, you'd see the lump in the chest like from Alien?
1:12:20 Speaker 05 In fact, that's what the motivation for Alien was, that burst out of the chest.
1:12:24 Bobby Lee? He's poking his head out, there are five arteries around the heart. There are five arteries around the heart, and he pops back in.
1:12:31 Speaker 05 There's five, there's four. There's four chambers.
1:12:33 Andrew Santino? God damn.
1:12:34 Speaker 05 Hold on.
1:12:36 Speaker 05 I'm gonna find out how many stomachs we have. I'll be right back.
1:12:38 Bobby Lee? What do you think? He's been in there for so long?
1:12:42 Andrew Santino? Brad.
1:12:43 Speaker 05 Come in with the straw.
1:12:44 Bobby Lee? Oh, God.
1:12:45 Andrew Santino? Brad, this is why we've been friends for so long.
1:12:48 Bobby Lee? So long.
1:12:48 Andrew Santino? Because we have the most fun.
1:12:50 Bobby Lee? We love you so much. Oh, God.
1:12:53 Andrew Santino? And Brad, by the way. Brad, by the way, for people that want to know. Not just a great guy, great comedian. Has a special out right now. Please go watch it. It's live. Lot. Listen to the title of this. You ready?
1:13:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:13:04 Andrew Santino? It's real. Tell them the name of the title.
1:13:07 Speaker 05 Live on Short Street.
1:13:08 Andrew Santino? It was filmed on Short Street. The theater, the theater he filmed at sits on Short Street.
1:13:13 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:13:14 Speaker 05 In Lexington, Kentucky.
1:13:15 Bobby Lee? And when does it come out, Brad?
1:13:17 Speaker 05 April 12th.
1:13:18 Bobby Lee? April 12th. Check it out.
1:13:19 Speaker 05 April 12th on my YouTube channel.
1:13:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:13:21 Speaker 05 Go to Brad Williams Comedy. You can, you can watch it. Some might argue it's a short film.
1:13:28 Bobby Lee? Amazing.
1:13:29 Speaker 05 Yeah, that, dude, if that ever won, like. I should make that Seven Dwarves of Auschwitz, but make it a short film.
1:13:38 Andrew Santino? Oh, my God.
1:13:40 Speaker 05 Just so we can win best short film at the Oscars.
1:13:42 Andrew Santino? So good.
1:13:43 Bobby Lee? That'd be so good.
1:13:45 Andrew Santino? He's a little funny. No, he's very funny. Go see the man live right now.
1:13:49 Bobby Lee? Brad, look into them and say, thank you for being a bad friend.
1:13:53 Speaker 05 Hey, everybody. Thank you for being a bad friend.
1:13:55 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:13:56 Andrew Santino? So good.
Previous The Slow Clap Next Chatty Chatty, Bang Bang Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated