Mel Robbins: The One Thing That Actually Matters

In this deeply honest conversation, Mel Robbins sits down with Emma for one of the most raw, generous, and energizing interviews she’s ever given. Fresh off the global success of The Let Them Theory and hosting one of the world’s biggest podcasts, Mel opens up about what’s really behind her “overnight” rise: 16 years of unseen work, fierce mission-driven clarity, and a relentless commitment to helping people live better lives. Together, Emma and Mel unpack everything from success, purpose, jealousy as a directional tool, and the truth about staying grounded when the world explodes around you. Mel shares the surprising mindset practices that changed her life, the one metric she actually tracks in her business, how to build something lasting in a noisy world, and why she believes your next chapter can begin today...no matter your age or circumstances. They also go deep on Mel’s new phase as an entrepreneur, the behind-the-scenes story of building her media company, and the launch of her first consumer product, Pure Genius, a clinical-grade protein shot years in the making. This episode is packed with wisdom, practical tools, and the kind of real talk that will keep you motivated this year. WHAT YOU’LL LEARN: -Why success is timing + mission + relentless consistency -How jealousy can reveal your true path -The #1 mistake creators and entrepreneurs make -The mindset shift Mel uses every single morning -How to stop obsessing about other people’s opinions -Why your biggest chapter may still be ahead of you -The truth about money, debt, and rebuilding from zero -How Mel built a top global podcast without chasing virality -The origin story behind Mel’s new product launch, Pure Genius What hit home for you? Leave a comment with your favorite moment or insight from Mel! And don’t forget to subscribe—it truly helps us grow this community and bring you more powerful conversations.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:09Emma Grede?

  It's a new year and if you want this one to feel any different then start right here. Mel Robbins knows what it means to start from nothing and make your way to the very top. Mel is the host of one of the top podcasts in the world. Her videos have been viewed over a billion times and her books have sold millions. But none of that came easy. Mel just has a way of saying things that makes it all click. And over the next hour, she's giving you the simple tools to take on the things that have been holding you back. Get comfortable because this will change your entire year.

• 0:48Emma Grede?

  Mel Robbins. I'm so excited that you're here. I don't even know what to say, but I am so happy that you're here and in this moment of your life because my goodness, have you had the most unbelievable moment of your life? I mean, I don't even feel like I need to do any introduction, but let me just like gather myself and gather my thoughts. You have one of the single biggest podcasts in the world. You have a book, The Let Them Theory, if any of you have haven't heard, that sold over eight million copies, a New York Times bestseller that's just like stayed on that list in the most unbelievable numbers imaginable. You have launched this unbelievable business that I cannot wait to talk to you about, but I am just so in awe of you right now.

• 1:33Emma Grede?

  I feel like I had this incredible moment with you myself earlier this year, which I still haven't got over because every single day on the street, in email, wherever I am, somebody talks to me about my Mel Robbins episode. And so I really wanted to ask you, and I feel like we have to start here because there's so much noise out there. Your space or the space that you inhabit and quite rightly lead is so full of competition and so full of noise. And I want to understand what it is that you think or why it is that you think you've had such incredible cut through and why you're on this unbelievable. Run that you're on right now.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Do you want to talk about the podcast? You want to talk about the book?

• 2:13Emma Grede?

  I just want, I just want Mel Robbins, the whole, the brand, the thing, the person. Why do you think it is that you're having this unbelievable run now?

• 2:23Speaker 01

  There are so many reasons why. And part of it is just an extraordinary work ethic. Part of it is a laser unwavering focus on what I am wanting to accomplish in terms of the impact that I want to make and who I'm serving and what it's for, whether it's the podcast or a book that I'm writing or anything else. Like I have a crystal clear mission and intention behind everything that I do. It doesn't matter what other people are doing. It doesn't matter what the noise is. When you know what you're doing and why, when you know who you're serving and why,

• 3:07Speaker 01

  when you know the difference you want to make in people's lives and why, when you know the problems you're trying to solve, nothing but you can make you lose. And so for me, what you're seeing now is the culmination of 16 years of grueling, boring, annoying, painful work to get to a point where all of a sudden the world has caught up with what I've always been doing. I think especially in business, you have to do it in the dark. You have to do it alone. You have to have those moments where you're going to quit.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  And you have to find within you the ability to just keep showing up when nobody's paying attention, when everybody else is getting the press or they're getting the investment or they're getting, they're part of the noise. Every time that you feel like you're on the outside of some big party you can't get into, you have to just keep showing up. And so I think it's part work ethic. It is part clarity and a laser tie to my mission. And it is also timing. It is very clear to me that this did not happen earlier in my life because I wasn't ready for it. And it's also clear to me that this didn't happen earlier in my life because

• 4:35Speaker 01

  the timing wasn't right.

• 4:36Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  And so those three things, the timing, the work ethic and patience that's required for work ethic, and maintaining a laser focus on what it is that you want to be doing. And it comes down to kind of two questions. So I am a huge student of Seth Godin. He was the person that originally taught me the art of one-to-one marketing.

• 5:01Emma Grede?

  Will you explain who Seth is?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Seth Godin is the OG of what's called permission marketing. And the idea that when you have a business, you're not in a business to sell products. You are in a business to do something with people.

• 5:17Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  That's what businesses are. People, people forget that a business is not about the spreadsheet and the product and all that stuff. A successful business makes people feel something. And most people that start a business don't even know who they're serving and what it's for. And if you can't answer the question, what is it for and who's it for? Why am I doing this? You will never be successful in business. So Seth Godin has probably written, I don't know, 12, 16, 20 New York Times bestselling books. He was writing about one-to-one marketing, email marketing, permission marketing, the fact that the single best vote for your product or your service or you is when a person not only gives you their time, but the real endorsement is when they recommend it to somebody else.

• 6:01Emma Grede?

  Oh, yes.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  And so understanding that your business grows not because of some marketing stunt, not because of something that is a flash in the pan. It grows because you have something that makes people feel something.

• 6:15Emma Grede?

  And that's what you have, right, Mel? Because when I think about, and I'm really happy that you mentioned, A, like, hard work, and we're going to talk a lot about that. You know, when I think about you, it's so clear to me that there is a secret sauce. And there is this, you know, amalgamation of like, what has happened in the culture? And what has happened in like, the, the timing of your life?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:35Emma Grede?

  And your work?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:36Emma Grede?

  And the culmination of all that? Do you ever think about? About the fact that you have a secret sauce.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:41Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:42Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Like, I think that I, mission driven is really important. And look, the mission has changed over time. There have been times in my life where the mission was pay my damn bills and not lose the house.

• 6:52Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  And I would say yes to everything that could bring money in. And there will be times in your life, whether you are launching a business, or you have a business, or you dream of having a business, where the number one objective is make money. And you will say yes to deals that you hate, you'll have to do jobs that you hate, you'll be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And so my mission then, safety, security, that's what drove me.

• 7:15Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  And your mission will change over time. But I think my secret sauce is I have this knack to take wildly complex things and distill it into something simple. I also have a knack for not caring if people make fun of what I'm doing.

• 7:34Emma Grede?

  Oh, really? You do?

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Oh, of course.

• 7:37Emma Grede?

  You have that type of resilience?

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:39Emma Grede?

  You've learned it, or do you feel like that's just part of Mel Robbins? That's who you are?

• 7:43Speaker 01

  I think that caring about living a better life and being a better person has been such a part of my DNA that if somebody rolls their eyes at the type of things that I talk about, or the advice that I share, or the experts that I inter, oh, the self, oh, personal development. I literally feel sad for people who don't understand the power

• 8:07Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  of taking your life seriously and taking your time and your energy seriously. And really looking at what are you going to do with the very limited time that you have on this planet? And you said this when you were on the Mel Robbins podcast. If you're not using your time to make yourself and the world a better place, what the hell are we all doing?

• 8:31Emma Grede?

  What are we doing?

• 8:31Speaker 01

  What are we doing here?

• 8:32Emma Grede?

  What are we doing?

• 8:33Speaker 01

  And so to me, I have always been the kind of person that cared about other people. I've always been the kind of person that's been intellectually curious. I've always been the kind of person, even when I was suffering, that wanted to feel better. I choose to believe that every human being wants to thrive.

• 8:51Emma Grede?

  Ah, yes, they do.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  And they want that for their families.

• 8:53Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  And, and there are very real problems and very real, like, just injustice that happens in this world. Things that are so unfair and.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  And you have, and I have, and the people that you care about have the power within them through their thinking and their actions to change anything for the better over time.

• 9:16Emma Grede?

  Did you imagine that you would be this successful? And are you comfortable with it?

• 9:20Speaker 01

  I always wanted to be this successful.

• 9:21Emma Grede?

  You did?

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. If I'm being honest, I would look at the Forbes list, or I'd look at somebody who, one of my heroes, Oprah Winfrey.

• 9:29Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Another hero, Howard Stern. You know, if you look at the people I love, I love Mr.

• 9:34Emma Grede?

  Success.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Well, Mr. Rogers.

• 9:36Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Delilah. Delilah, people roll their eyes at. She is the single most successful radio broadcaster in history. She would appear on Sunday nights, and she'd have this show where people would call and be like, "So my boyfriend's been deployed, and I really miss him, and I'm scared." And you can feel how nervous this person is. And Delilah, just through her velvety voice, wraps her arms around this person and comforts her with her voice and tells her it's gonna be okay. And then she plays "Wind Beneath My Wings." And I would listen to that as a little girl, and I would go, "Oh, my gosh. I just hope that I can be the kind of person that could make somebody feel that way." I hope that I can do good in the world.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  I've always known that, but I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what that looked like. I didn't know how that could be a business. I just knew in my heart, and I think this is really important, that we have within us a very unique intelligence that is woven into your DNA and your soul when you are born. It is like a directional signal that is there all the time. And if you can tune out the noise around you, and if you can stop constantly obsessing over what other people are doing, you will notice that you get signals all day long that are either pulling you towards something in a positive way.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  The Delilah example is an example of that. Like, "Oh, my gosh, I just, I love Mr. Rogers. I love Howard Stern. He's so himself. He's hilarious. Like, this is how I talk with my friends." I love Oprah Winfrey. I love the conver-- yeah, like, you feel pulled towards something. You only feel that because it's meant for you. And you can also feel this negative pull. See jealousy is also something that informs me. If I notice that I'm jealous of somebody, I'm like Mel Robbins, pay attention. If I'm annoyed and jealous of what somebody else has, ooh, you better pay attention Mel, because jealousy is blocked desire.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  It is impossible, Emma, to be jealous of something you don't want.

• 11:48Emma Grede?

  Impossible.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Impossible. Like I could see the most beautiful penthouse on the planet.

• 11:53Emma Grede?

  Not interested.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  I don't care. I don't, I don't, I don't, like in LA, I don't want to live in LA. Like everybody, anybody wants to live here, fantastic. I don't want that. I don't feel anything because it's not meant for me. And most of us don't understand that when you're jealous, I walked into your building today. The building here is incredible. And I felt that tinge of like, oh, I want this. Pay attention. Because Emma's leading the way. Emma is revealing in me something that is meant for me. There's something about your space and your building and the ambition of that. And also the fact that it's smart in terms of an investment.

• 12:31Emma Grede?

  That too.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  But really, I didn't understand that. I would see other people when I was really struggling and I didn't, I mean, Emma, I've had probably 23 different jobs.

• 12:42Emma Grede?

  Oh, I know. I've been going through the research and I was like, damn, she has done a lot of stuff. It was really surprising to me, Mel.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Why?

• 12:51Emma Grede?

  Well, this is, well, first of all, because my understanding of you is, and you talk about mission and purpose, like I feel like I know exactly who you are and you've spoken a lot. So first of all, the first word that comes to me is integrity. You have a lot of integrity and I think that comes from the fact that you're really real. There's this seeming like I am who I am. All of your information is often based on like science, but then it's coupled with a lot of feeling, like she's crying on the episode. You hold your heart a lot like I do. Like I look at you and I'm like, I can trust what she says. She's not a full of shit person. And you've said so. Much that you you trace, you know, this idea of integrity and impact over virality.

• 13:33Emma Grede?

  What I want to ask you is, as you get to this level of success, where everything is like bomb, bomb, bomb, like a million brilliant dollar idea. How do you make sure that the business and the purpose is evenly weighted or weighted correctly for you and your brand?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  It's easy.

• 13:48Emma Grede?

  Tell me.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  You focus on who it's for and what it's for. See, the second you take your eye off the ball and you start to look up here, you actually take your eye off the thing that made you successful in the first place. Everybody makes the mistake of measuring the wrong data. What happens in business is there's so much to look at, and this is true about life. Like, think about it in your relationship. Think about your marriage. Think about the person you're dating. There are ways that you showed up and there was an intention that you had when that relationship began. And you knew the heart of the person that you were falling in love with.

• 14:33Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  And then life gets busy and you take your attention off what's right in front of you. And then you start to take it for granted and you start to value other things and you forget the thing that was important in the beginning.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  The reason why it is simple for me to balance the scale and the success of this with my mission is because I know my mission. My mission is to serve one person somewhere around the world in a way that helps them feel better and gives them the tools and the empowerment to create a better life. I know that the person that reads my books or follows me on social or who is tuning in is somebody who is just waking up today. They're not looking to be a billionaire. They're not looking to, you know, win the Nobel Peace Prize. They're a human being.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  That has goals and dreams and they want to feel a little better. And they want their family to feel a little better and they want to do a little better. And they have no time and they are overwhelmed and they are scared of what's happening in the world. And they feel a lack of control and they feel discouraged. But deep down, they know there's a bigger possibility. They know that life could feel a little better. They know that there are ways to spend their time so that they feel good about what they're doing and who they're surrounded by, but they don't know where to start.

• 16:02Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  That's the person I'm talking to. I'm talking to the nurse, to the teacher, to the person that is waiting tables. I'm talking to the grandma that is taking care of their kids while mom and dad are working. I'm talking to the high schooler and to the college student who is scared to change their major or doesn't know how to take that risk and doesn't feel this sense of being encouraged. Because I'm talking to everybody because we all want this.

• 16:31Emma Grede?

  We all want it.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  We all do.

• 16:32Emma Grede?

  Oh, 100%. We all want it.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:35Emma Grede?

  So there's no sense of when you are creating a new project or going out and doing something new. Like, do you feel the pressure of it having to be really big? Like, is there any of that?

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Zero. Zero.

• 16:47Emma Grede?

  Does it matter to you?

• 16:48Speaker 01

  No. Well, it matters to me to the extent that, first of all, I'm 57 years old. And so one of the reasons why it is super simple to stay clear on my mission is that when your success comes later in life.

• 17:01Emma Grede?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  When you, at the age of 41, almost lose everything that matters to you. I mean, we had leans on the house, we were $800,000 in debt. I'm not going to go into the story because I think it's important to unpack the lessons from it. When you have a moment of reckoning where you almost lose everything that matters. And let's be honest about what matters. What matters, based on the research and common sense, is your relationships and your health.

• 17:31Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  And that's it.

• 17:33Emma Grede?

  End of. That's it.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 17:34Emma Grede?

  And you know this.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  That's it. Everybody knows this. The, the, one of the most motivating things in the world is going to a funeral. Because it, it makes you wake up and go, oh, my God. Like, it's gonna be over like this.

• 17:46Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  And at the end of the road. The only thing you're going to care about, and I'm gonna tell you something, fifty seven years went by like that.

• 17:54Emma Grede?

  Boom.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Gone.

• 17:55Emma Grede?

  In a flash.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  In a flash. And it is going to go by like that.

• 18:00Emma Grede?

  Yeah. Well, Mel, I love that you mentioned your age because to me, you're like living proof that it's never too late to have a really big, meaningful chapter in your life, and you are just living proof of that to me right now. But I wonder what you would say to people that are thinking about a new chapter for themselves.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:18Emma Grede?

  Because it's so important, and I feel like, you know, I'm definitely middle aged at forty three now, and you start to think about things in a really different way, right? So what do you say to people that are feeling, you know, perhaps a little disillusioned, perhaps a little flat, like they're not making the most of every moment?

• 18:35Speaker 01

  I don't think you can make the most of every moment.

• 18:36Emma Grede?

  Go on, tell us.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, you can't. I mean, you're not a robot. But if you don't have something or a vision for what you're working toward, then you will fall into this sense that nothing really matters.

• 18:53Emma Grede?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  It's the same old, same old. You're just kind of passing time. And what I would say to anybody, I don't care if you're eighteen, if you're eighty eight years old, some of the best days of your life are ahead of you. Some of your most favorite people you haven't even met yet. One of the coolest things about the human experience is you can change your life, your body, the settings in your mind, anytime you decide to.

• 19:19Emma Grede?

  And you really believe that because you often hear people that say, people will say, oh, you know, they're stuck in their ways, they'll never change. She's sixty five, she's never gonna change.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Well, she will change if she decides to change for herself. And so the only thing you need in order to change your life is you need to wake up one day and say, how this feels doesn't work for me anymore. That's all you need.

• 19:40Emma Grede?

  I wanna change my life.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  That's it. Like, how my marriage feels doesn't work anymore. How my bank account feels doesn't work for me anymore. How my friend circle feels doesn't work anymore. I want to feel better. That's all you need, is the realization that how you've been doing life no longer works for where you are now.

• 20:01Emma Grede?

  And do you think about time really differently now you're fifty seven to, let's take like this, because you had such a big moment in your early forties, like, are you literally thinking about the time you have differently?

• 20:11Speaker 01

  I don't think so, because I'm so present. See, one of the things that really has shaped me is that when you almost lose everything that matters, your marriage, your home, family gets torn apart, your health, your addict, like, all of it, all of it, right on the table.

• 20:28Emma Grede?

  The fundamentals.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  You never forget that it matters. And so, once I was able to pay off our debt, once I was able to pay the bills, once I started cooking and building a business, I didn't lose sight, and I haven't lost sight, and I will never lose sight, that what matters is my husband, my children, my friends, my health, my family.

• 20:50Emma Grede?

  I mean, that's your big thing, right? You're so present.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  I am.

• 20:53Emma Grede?

  That is palpable, when you meet you and spend time with you. You are in that moment, not looking over anyone's shoulder. I had this amazing moment with you in Boston, where we had dinner, maybe interrupted 25 times by various people, one wanted to say hi to me, and then the rest wanted to come and speak to you, but you give to that person in the moment, and then you're like, and you're very locked in to people, you're like, I wanna know everything about you in this moment. It's such an attractive skill, when someone can do that to you.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Well, I believe life is the greatest school you'll ever attend, and you can learn anything from anyone around you.

• 21:30Emma Grede?

  So what's it like being famous at this point in your life?

• 21:32Speaker 01

  I don't like that part.

• 21:34Emma Grede?

  Do you not?

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Well, I live in a tiny town in the middle of Vermont. I'm a normal person, who happens to have

• 21:41Emma Grede?

  Forty million followers and the biggest platform.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Forty million followers and the biggest podcasts on the planet. I don't feel like I've changed, because I know it's important to me. On the weekends, I cook dinner, and I hike, and I, all I want, the only thing I want more of is time. Time with my husband, time with my family, time to do interesting projects, that's it, that's it. And so much of this, I would say, is also because of the let them theory. And I mean it. And the reason why is, I didn't understand, Emma, the extent to which I was preoccupied in making decisions, navigating day to day, based on other people's dramas, other people's expectations, other people's moods, what other people might think, what other people,

• 22:27Speaker 01

  you know, were gonna do, blah-bitty, blah-bitty, blah, until I learned to say, let them. And I started putting a boundary between me and other people, and me and the world, and me and all of the, just... Insane ways that the world can drain your time and drain your energy. Until I stopped giving power to other people, I didn't understand how much power and time and energy I had. And I also didn't realize, Emma, how often I was up in my head obsessing about either what had just happened or what was gonna happen or, you know, beating myself up. Oh, yeah. And there's something about learning to just say, "Let them."

• 23:10Speaker 01

  And teaching yourself that if you can't control what's happening out there, if you can't control another person's mood or what they're gonna think, why on earth would you waste your most precious time and energy worrying about it, obsessing about it? Why would you? Why would you? Well, I'll tell you why I did for 54 years. I didn't know how the fuck not to. That's why. And so, having this tool that has helped me like a ninja, just slicing through the day. When I notice myself getting stressed, when I notice somebody's mood tweaking me out a little bit, when I notice myself like obsessing about something that's just not... I just say, "Let them." And it's a way to bring the power and the peace back here. It has made me so present.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  It has helped me really understand that true power in your life comes from making decisions based on the kind of person you wanna be. Yes. Making decisions based on your values. Making decisions with the best of intention. Being quick to clean things up. If you can lay your head on the pillow at night and you know that you did the best that you could. Game over. You made decisions that you can stand by because of the information you had at the time. You will have something wild happen. You will be so proud of yourself. You will know yourself.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Do you ever wish you could ask nosey questions about people's money?

• 24:44Speaker 03

  I have $729.71 in my bank account. We bought, you know, a $1.3 million house on a $350,000 income.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  On the podcast, What We Spend, we ask those questions. It's a show about money and all the feelings that come with spending it.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  I want to be the kind of person who can just take care of the people in my life.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Listen to What We Spend, an Odyssey original, available now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 25:16Emma Grede?

  So incredible, this book that you've written, because it has become, I mean, as you fully intended, a tool for so many people. But I want to switch gears a second and talk to you a bit about the podcast. Because the podcast, for me, is such a seminar, incredible piece of work. Like every, I feel like every day, something comes up about the Mel Robbins podcast, about an episode. I spoke to a woman yesterday and she said to me, oh, my goodness, you know, I have a very tricky relationship with my mom. My sister and I about to spend the weekend with my mom. I just sent her this podcast. And I said, oh, but wait a minute, there's that Mel one, but there's this other one that I sent to my sisters when we're about to see my mom. And, you know, it's like, it is beyond useful.

• 25:58Emma Grede?

  But you operate at the, you know, this unbelievable level, having one of the biggest shows in the world.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:05Emma Grede?

  Is there something to learn?

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:06Emma Grede?

  From the male podcasters and the male creators? Is there something more specifically for women to learn?

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Well, I think there's something to learn from anybody in the ecosystem you want to compete in. So let's start breaking down some of the advice for somebody.

• 26:21Emma Grede?

  Somebody get a pen.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  For somebody who is thinking about launching a business, or wanting to launch a business, or wanting to level up what you're doing. So to go back to, how do you figure out what you need to walk toward? Jealousy is a great tool.

• 26:36Emma Grede?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  You will burn yourself alive with jealousy if you don't understand the nature of it. Anybody that you're jealous of, whether you're jealous of their kitchen, or you're jealous of their marriage, or you're jealous of their podcast, or you're jealous of their new makeup line, or you're jealous of whatever it that may. Follow the jealousy. Because no other person can take the things that are meant for you. If you can remove the emotion and channel it in the right direction. Jealousy is a directional tool that is trying to get your attention to say, hey, hey, hey, move toward this, move toward this. And so when you recognize that people that you're slightly jealous of are your greatest

• 27:20Speaker 01

  teachers, because they're leading you towards something that's meant for you, because jealousy's personal. And so I'm going to take you all the way to the origin of the podcast. I got my start in the podcast business in 2008. Well, not because I did a podcast, because I had a Saturday morning local radio show in Boston where I was being paid $25 an hour and I needed the money. We were 800 grand in debt. That radio show was a lifeline. My core value was security and safety. I took every job I could possibly find so I could pay those bills and put groceries on the table. And when I took that call in radio show job, I fell in love with talking to people.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  And here's the thing I learned from that job, because everything you've ever done is leading you somewhere. And every job, every experience, every failure, every relationship is teaching you something if you're willing to look for it. And that job in 2008 taught me, number one, that the secret to radio is understanding the magic is one to one and the intimacy of it. People take you in their cars, they play you in their homes. If they listen to talk radio, they are listening to you as if it's a conversation. It's never everybody out there, it's the one person here.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  The second thing that it taught me is the absolute magic of ad-supported content. Now, I wasn't thinking like this then. I was like, I need money for groceries tonight. I'm going to host that radio show. Here we go. Whatever I can get. Yes. But then, wait a minute, the local dentist, shout out Dr. Ronkin, who was advertising on the thing. If I read his ads, he'd pay for my kids' braces? And so I understood the beautiful relationship between the advertisers that show up to support a show so that the show can become free. And that was the beginning of my love of audio. I went on to get an audition for a Sunday night radio show in Atlanta that paid a little bit more money. So then I had two radio shows. Then I got an audition for

• 29:27Speaker 01

  the five day a week show in Orlando. And I was like the midday, I would say sanity reset between a lot of very conservative talk folks. I was like the, the, the person that was, that was not doing conspiracy theory stuff. I was just talking about breaking news. I was taking calls. And then all of a sudden, Trayvon Martin was murdered. I'm a criminal defense attorney. I was so horrified by what had happened. Stand your ground is the most unconstitutional racist law that has ever been passed. And I started covering that case every day on that radio. And the trial, it went to trial. They asked me if I would sit in the courtroom because they were the pool feed. Now, Mark, I can't remember

• 30:10Speaker 01

  what year this was, but this was still when I have $800,000 leans on the house. I'm not looking to do anything. I'm using my five second rule, five, four, three, two, one to keep pushing forward and pushing forward and pushing forward. And I sit in that courtroom every day. What a travesty of justice that case was. And at the end of that case, I was awarded the Gracie Award for Outstanding News Talk Show Host of the Year and CNN called and offered me a job. And it's like brick by brick by brick by brick. Then I leave radio because I'm on television. And I do that for four years. And meanwhile, keynote

• 30:52Speaker 01

  speaking is taken off. And so I'm still working three or four jobs. Like I'm, you know,

• 30:56Emma Grede?

  And, and any, look, when do you, when's the money start coming? When do you start getting into a place where you're like, oh, that's a nice fee for this, like, speech I'm about to do?

• 31:04Speaker 01

  Well, the first time I ever got paid, it was 2013. And I

• 31:10Emma Grede?

  It's not that long ago.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, no shit. And so it was 2013. And we still have leans. My husband's left the restaurant, but like, he's a shell of himself. And I have a full-time job at CNN and I'm starting to get asked to do keynote addresses on the side.

• 31:29Emma Grede?

  Okay, so you're starting to get recognized for your talent. You're starting for people to understand.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Sort of, yes.

• 31:35Emma Grede?

  She speaks.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  She's got some to talk about. Yeah, she's got this five-second thing that she talks about. She's got a TEDx talk that has a million views. Let's get her to the thing.

• 31:42Emma Grede?

  Okay.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  So for a year, I gave seven talks for free.

• 31:46Emma Grede?

  Oof.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  At conferences.

• 31:47Emma Grede?

  You did?

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Women's conferences.

• 31:49Emma Grede?

  Okay. So you did the legwork?

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 31:52Emma Grede?

  And then someone says they're gonna pay you?

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 31:55Emma Grede?

  I'm like, get me to the money, Mel.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  No, because this is advice for you. You have to do it for free.

• 31:59Emma Grede?

  You gotta get in there.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  You have to do whatever it takes. Work the 15 jobs. Do the thing you want to do for free until you get so sick of doing it for free that you start to resent the people who are asking you to do it for free. And so what happened to me is 2013, I give a talk. I'm at the end of the hallway. I'm hoping people will walk all the way down from the main session. I got 100 chairs, whatever. I do a great job and you do a great job at what you're doing right now.

• 32:28Emma Grede?

  Don't you think you're giving very unpopular advice right now? People don't like.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  I don't care.

• 32:32Emma Grede?

  People don't like working for free. I worked for free for so long, Mel. I lived in a fashion cupboard at every PR agency in the whole of London for a very, very long time.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  If you don't do it for free, you don't want it. You don't want it.

• 32:44Emma Grede?

  And is that the advice you give now? You would tell people, do some stuff for free?

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Absolutely. If you have an interest in doing something and you have no experience in it, do it for free. Experiment, see if you actually even like it. I thought I wanted to own a bakery. I really did. Until I got a job working in a bakery and I woke up at 4:30 and I was making carrot muffins and filling up the sugar and wiping up. No, what I realized is, whoa, I don't want to smell like carrot muffins and have these hours. I want to be the person in the bakery. That has a little bit of time to be able to have a meeting. And I want the community that comes. See, everything is teaching you something.

• 33:19Emma Grede?

  Everything is teaching you a little something. You're taking smidgen. So take me back to the corridor, because I want to know this.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Somebody comes up to me after the speech and says, oh, my gosh, you were great. Can I ask you a question? I spoke in the morning and I just had a question speaker to speaker. I said, yeah. She goes, did you get your cheque yet? I said, cheque? And there was this really awkward pause. And I said, "You got paid for this?" And she said, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I just assumed you..." And I'm, "People get paid for this?" And it was this huge wake-up call. And this is something I want you to hear. Like, you look at people that are doing the thing you want to do. Mm-hmm. And you assume that it's only people like that that get paid for this.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  And you have to take responsibility at some point for understanding that nobody is going to actually pay you what you're worth unless you start asking for it. And I didn't know what to charge. I'm, "So here's another takeaway. If you don't know what to charge is what you're gonna do." I was like, "Well, I don't know what to charge. I'm not a celebrity. I don't have a book. I don't like, you know, what am I doing?" Like, and if people actually knew my bank account and knew the state of my life, I wouldn't be hired to do anything. And plus, when you're that in debt, you don't feel worthy of money. Yeah. And I didn't. I just knew I needed it. But that feeling hasn't stayed with you, surely? Oh, no. I know my value now. And so here's what you're gonna do. Here's the best hack on the planet.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  I didn't know what to charge. If you don't know what to charge for your service or for the thing that you're gonna do, here's what you're gonna say. The next time you're talking to somebody about it, you're gonna just pause and say, "What's your budget?" And then wait, and then say, "Normally, I'm double." So, two weeks later, the phone rings, Emma. And a guy calls. He's seen the thing going viral on Facebook. He wants to hire me for some big speech in August in Dallas. And I said, "What's your budget?" He said, "$10,000." I dropped the phone. That was three months of my mortgage. That was so much money. Yeah. I couldn't believe it. I forgot the second part. You forgot the double it. Chat. So, I felt so unworthy of the money.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  And here's another piece that you need to take. Preparation is everything. There are moments in your life that are the at bat moment, where you are called from the bench and you step up to the plate of life. You better be ready. And they come around only so often. And I felt so unworthy of that money that I spent half of it, even though I am still $800,000 in debt. I took half of that money that I needed and I hired a graphic designer to help me make a presentation that would look expensive. Oh, you did?

• 36:18Speaker 01

  But here's what that meant. I had to prepare. I had to prepare. And when I stepped on that stage, it was the performance of a lifetime. And the guy that booked me came up to me and said, I've been in this business booking speakers for 20 years. You are the single best female speaker I have ever seen in my entire life. And you're top two of all time. Who runs your business? I said, you do. And he does to this day. No way. That next year, yeah. That next year, we booked 47 speeches. The next year was 99. And then I was the most booked female speaker in the world. And I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And here's another takeaway I want to give you. To be, you use the word excellent.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Being good at something is the price of entry. Anybody can be good in the restaurant business. Anybody can be good as an influencer. Anybody can be good in the podcasting space. Anybody can be good on stage or a good editor. Like, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have business charging for your services if you're not good. Okay? To be exceptional, to be the one of one, to be in a category of your own, you have to understand the ecosystem that you're in. You have to understand the role that you play. You have to understand that business is not about the thing. It's about the way people feel because businesses are people.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  You have to understand the tiny details that a lot of people think are beneath them. And it's the details that most people think are beneath them that actually make you.

• 38:02Speaker 01

  Untouchable. Oh, yes. And so what I started to realize, because everybody thinks, oh, the job of a motivational speaker, you go to a big event with JP Morgan, you go to a big event with 10,000 people, that the job is to get a standing, that's not the job. Like, if you can't be good on the stage, you have no business being on the stage. The job is to make the people working at the event love working with you. Your job is to make their life easier. Your job is to leave that audience feeling something so that they talk about it.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  Your job is about how you treat the people, not the ones that are in the executive suite that don't even realize that you've been hired, at least back then they didn't. It's how you treat the production team. It's how you treat the event planner, because the CEO is not the one that's going to recommend you. And see, this is, everybody chases everybody out here. Oh, you're so right. It's actually here. Your network, you talk about this, they're right in front of you. The event planner that is exhausted, that is terrified that your plane's gonna be delayed, that is worried that you're gonna be a diva, that is worried that you're gonna go overtime,

• 39:24Speaker 01

  that is, you know, like, having anxiety attacks, because everything about the event is falling on their shoulders, and they're probably treated like garbage, and they're... If you can make them exhale, if you can make them feel like a superstar... And so here are some of the little things I did. As I would be landing in Omaha and catching a cab, because back in the day, you know, I was not... No one was sending calls. Oh, God, no, no, I was a nobody. I was this, like, an up-and-coming speaker that everybody said was great. I would text the person. Who was like two rungs down.

• 40:00Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  Who's like part of the event team, hey, I made it with a selfie. Oh, my God, thank you for letting me know. In the morning, I'm texting, I'm coming over, I'm gonna stop by Starbucks, can I pick you? You want? Yeah, no, I'm serious, give me, give me the order, I'll get it.

• 40:13Emma Grede?

  No, you didn't.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Yes, I did.

• 40:14Emma Grede?

  Wow.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  And then I would show up and they'd be.

• 40:16Emma Grede?

  You're real good.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  And, and.

• 40:18Emma Grede?

  You really are excellent.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  People would literally say, you know, okay, so how do you, I'd be like, guys, it's your show, you tell me. You tell me, do you need it in keynote, do you need it in PowerPoint? Oh, I don't care what's up on the slide, it's your show, you're calling it, you're the expert, I'm just, I've got my slot, I'll do my slot. I'll take care of my slot.

• 40:32Emma Grede?

  I love that about you because it, I mean, it says so much about your personality. And I also love the idea that you talk about really understanding your space, understanding the ecosystem. When I think about business, I call it obsessing the competition. I know everything about my competition. Do you still think about the competition when you're in this spot of being the number one pretty much all the time? Do you think about the Joe Rogans?

• 40:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:58Emma Grede?

  And that you don't?

• 40:59Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:59Emma Grede?

  Not at all?

• 41:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 41:00Emma Grede?

  What do you think of the manosphere?

• 41:02Speaker 01

  I think it's very interesting that the majority of podcast listeners are women. And that those are the shows that are at the top.

• 41:08Emma Grede?

  Does it annoy you? Because I find it kind of maddening.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  I don't because I understand the research of how the discourse in the United States has changed in the last four years due to the intentional infiltration of disinformation. And I also understand that one out of every four pieces of information online that you interact with is a bot. And that coming out of the pandemic, the level of anxiety and uncertainty, research shows makes you completely prone to believe conspiracy theories. And so I see what's happening, I see the collective illusion, I see the danger of it. I don't think about it a lot in terms of as it relates to me.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Because I feel like if there's ever a moment in history or in the world where there's a lot of darkness and fear and uncertainty and the kind of othering of people, that there is always a corresponding rise of light. And consciousness and goodness. And I am part of that. Force for good.

• 42:14Emma Grede?

  Yes, you are.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  I'm not alone in that. There are so many amazing voices. There are so many amazing people around the world. And one of the reasons why the Mel Robbins podcast has become the global phenomenon that it is, is because people are innately good.

• 42:34Emma Grede?

  A billion percent.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  And they want to do well. And they are turning toward a show and making time, time that they don't have, to listen to something that makes them feel better and that reminds them of what you know to be true.

• 42:49Emma Grede?

  I think you're part of the correction, Mel.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Yes, I do.

• 42:52Emma Grede?

  I really believe that.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  I feel a great responsibility in that.

• 42:54Emma Grede?

  And you're doing a great job of it, but I think the pendulum has swung so far that there has to be a correction. And I really think so much about what you do.

• 43:07Speaker 05

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• 43:48Speaker 05

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• 44:03Speaker 06

  Hi, everyone. This is Kara Swisher.

• 44:04Speaker 07

  And I'm Scott Galloway.

• 44:06Speaker 06

  And we want to tell you about Pivot, our twice-weekly podcast.

• 44:09Speaker 07

  That's right, Kara. What a thrill. It's a chance for us to break down all the big things happening in tech, business, and politics.

• 44:15Speaker 06

  Yes, and I keep you in check so people can make it through each episode, whether it's digging into constant changes in the world of AI and social media, or trying to keep up with whatever the fuck Elon is doing. We're here to give you our take on all of that.

• 44:27Speaker 07

  Every Tuesday and Friday morning, we drop a new episode about some of the major stories of the moment.

• 44:32Speaker 06

  And Scott is a prediction machine, gazing into his crystal ball, to tell you about where it's all heading.

• 44:37Speaker 07

  That's right.

• 44:38Speaker 06

  So if that sounds like a good time for you, especially Mr. "That's right," you can follow us on your favorite podcast app to get new episodes every week.

• 44:47Speaker 07

  Boom.

• 44:56Emma Grede?

  I want to talk to you about your business, but quickly before I do that, because it's such an important thing, and I speak to so many women, especially in business, that have got themselves into tricky money situations. What do you say to people that feel completely at a loss and without hope to get themselves out of a really bad financial situation? Because you've clearly gone full circle.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  Yes. So you're not going to do it overnight. You have to do it over time. And one of the best things about being in a tricky financial situation, or a terrifying one, because there's nothing more crushing than the stress that comes from not being able to pay your bills. But you can get yourself out of it, but you have to face it. You have to face it. Like, I let the bills stack up for six months and didn't open them. That's very common. Most people don't look at their bank account. Most people don't understand. I believe the research is that somewhere between $700 and $800, I don't remember if it's a month or a year, of subscriptions are actually attached to your pay. They're just coming right out.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  All the streaming services, all the apps on the phone. And so, one of the first things you have to do is, first of all, there's so much information. You have to say to yourself, "I am going to face this. I'm gonna stop telling myself it's too late, the debt's too big, I can't possibly do it." Yes, you can. And there's a lot of amazing podcasts, and amazing free books, and amazing things that you can look into that will walk you step by step. But first, you have to say, "I am going to figure this out. I am going to get smarter about money." And one of the best things that that taught me, Emma, is that when you... The first way that you have to look at things is, what's actually going out?

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Most of us try to solve our debt by trying to make more money, without realizing you can find a lot of money if you get honest with yourself about all of the crap that you don't need that you're buying, and where your money's going. And you will never be successful in a business if you don't understand money in and money out, and it begins with you personally. If you are a train wreck with your personal finances, you don't... You will not have the skills to actually manage a P and L.

• 47:13Emma Grede?

  Absolutely not.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  And so, that period taught me to really button down and to recognize you have so much more than you think in terms of the way that you spend money and consume. You don't need what you think you need. You can do without a lot of things. And if you are able to look in the mirror and go, "Okay, this is what I got. This is where it's going. I'm gonna now look at experts. I'm gonna now go get help. I'm gonna start calling the credit card companies. I'm gonna stop beating myself up." And you start saying to yourself, "I can figure this out."

• 47:52Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  It's... Like, for me, it took a decade. Like, I'm not gonna lie.

• 47:56Emma Grede?

  It did. Well, yeah, you don't take... Eight hundred grand. Yeah, that'll take a decade.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 47:59Emma Grede?

  Do you have the same type of clarity and visibility over your business now? Because you must have so many different income streams, so many different things happening, such a giant team. What does that look like for you as a businesswoman?

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Well, I have 50 full-time employees and studio spaces in Boston. And I have a... Unbelievable CFO and COO who's also my sister-in-law. And she came.

• 48:22Emma Grede?

  I love a family member.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Yes, she came from a company where she was the CFO of a company that had like nine hundred.

• 48:29Emma Grede?

  So she's an experiential.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Oh, and we are the opposite. And she is a brilliant, brilliant person when it comes to that side of the business. And I, I mean, we review it weekly.

• 48:43Emma Grede?

  Great.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:43Emma Grede?

  So you, you understand what's happening?

• 48:45Speaker 01

  I understand exactly what's happening. See, it's important to understand what data is important. It may surprise.

• 48:52Emma Grede?

  You said this a couple of times.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:54Emma Grede?

  When you say data, you're really just talking about what information.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:57Emma Grede?

  To take notice of.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Yes, so it might surprise you to know that I do not have the backend numbers on my own podcast. And I do not look at the rankings.

• 49:08Emma Grede?

  You don't?

• 49:08Speaker 01

  No, absolutely not.

• 49:09Emma Grede?

  Did you train yourself not to look at it in the some way people don't look at when they're like losing followers? Is it a fear thing? Where does that come from?

• 49:16Speaker 01

  It's because that's not the metric that matters.

• 49:18Emma Grede?

  What's the metric that matters?

• 49:20Speaker 01

  The metric that matters, there's two for me, is we send out an email five days a week called the impact email. That is a roundup of anywhere from twenty to thirty screenshots from social media, from reviews, from the inbox.

• 49:35Emma Grede?

  This is an internal email?

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it goes to every partner.

• 49:38Emma Grede?

  Oh, got it.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  It goes to every agency that works with us. And you see front and center what somebody is saying about what changed in their life. It's not like, I love you, Mel.

• 49:48Emma Grede?

  Oh, it's like a sentiment report for, for you guys.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  But it's the actual screenshot. We had somebody say yesterday, thank you for the episode you did with Dr. London. Last night I knew that I was starting to go into cardiac arrest because of what I learned on that podcast.

• 50:06Emma Grede?

  Oh, shit.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I am alive today.

• 50:08Emma Grede?

  Yep.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Because of that podcast.

• 50:10Emma Grede?

  Yep.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Thank you for that.

• 50:12Emma Grede?

  So what you're saying is you take a customer first. I would call it a customer first approach because I'm not really in podcast land as much, but it's like, it's a listener first approach. You care about what they are saying.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:24Emma Grede?

  Which is exactly how I think about business. It's like, if you are going to do one thing, just focus on your customer. What is she saying?

• 50:31Speaker 01

  Yes, but here's what you've got to ask yourself with your just beginning.

• 50:34Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  Who's it for? What's it for?

• 50:36Emma Grede?

  Who's it for? What's it for?

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:37Emma Grede?

  Really simple.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Very, very, very simple because you obsess over losing followers, but you're not taking care of the ones that are there. You obsess over what your friends think, but you're not actually, you haven't even lasered, your business is not for your friends. Your business is for who you're going to serve. Your business is not for your family. It may, it may impact, but it's, it's for the people that are going to find it and need it and for the problems that you're solving with it. That's what it is. And, and if you start to obsess over followers, you're now obsessing over the people who have left.

• 51:09Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Versus really focusing on the one that's here. Before I would go on and give a keynote speech, I would center myself by saying, even if there's 27,000 people in this arena, I would say there is just one person who is sitting in this audience, who is meant to be here. Because there is something they are about to hear or experience that will make their life better, or will help their daughter who has anxiety, or will give them the hope that's missing. That is the one person I'm talking to.

• 51:37Emma Grede?

  Now, where did, where did you learn that? Where did you get to be so focused on that, that one person, that one little shift that you can make? Like, where does that come from?

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Two things. I watched my parents. My parents are so community minded and are, were so engaged with other people. Like, we would go to the farmer's market with my mom, and it would be this long stall with 40 vendors and, you know, she'd be sta- she knew everybody's name, their dog's name, their kid's name. She'd be like talking with Frank, and I'm like, oh my God, Mom, we're just here to get sugar snap peas. Like, why do we have to talk to everyone? And so I just watched this. I watched people show up at our house. My dad was a small town doc, and we had like, we ran like the Minute Clinic. And our, he vol- he was the hometown doctor for the football team. He just, I just watched my parents care about and be interested in other people. That's one.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Second thing was, when I was a public defender in New York City, you meet your clients for the first time after they've been arrested, and they're in jail, and they're waiting arraignment. And here in the United States, you have a constitutional right to have the charges read before you, an attorney assigned, and an arraignment where they're going to do a bail hearing. And part of what they consider, when they are considering bail, is ties to the community. I can't tell you how many times I would walk out into that courtroom, night after night after night, because I worked the night court shift, because arraignment's run 24 hours a day in New York, and nobody was there. Nobody.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  And maybe because they couldn't be. Maybe because they couldn't afford the subway pass. Maybe because there was no phone to call. Maybe because they were so sick and tired of this person getting in trouble. They were done showing up. Oh, wow. But it just broke my heart that no one was there. And so I just had this silent resolve that I would be there. I would show up. I would see people. I, I, I cannot believe how many people walk past the person cleaning the bathroom and don't look at you. Don't say thank you. Don't say good morning. It's disgusting to me. Like how you can't see another human being and the power of a smile

• 53:55Speaker 01

  and the power of the energy. You know, if there's one thing that I am constantly fighting against, it's discouragement. Yes. This deep sense that people have that they don't matter and that there's nothing they can do to change the situation that they're in. Because of my own life experience and because I've turned my own attitude and my own health and my own marriage and my own finances and my family and everything around, I've changed it entirely. You've changed everything. Everything. Everything. From the inside out, everything. And yes, it takes work and yes, it takes time, but nobody's going to come and do it for you. Nobody's going to save you.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  If you want your life to be better, it's your responsibility to do that for yourself and to make it better. And it's the single most important thing you could do. Because it's just going to go away like that. I agree with you one million percent. And, and so to me, all of that is kind of tied up in this deep sincere interest in other people. This deep sincere desire that if I can save anybody the headaches and the heartaches that I've caused myself or caused other people because I didn't know. The number of years that our son Oakley struggled because we had no idea it was dyslexia and ADHD, who's being labeled a behavior problem.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  And how sad it made me to realize how many kids get shuttled in a direction that they don't deserve because they don't know what they're dealing with in terms of the way they're like, we can change this.

• 55:36Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  We can help each other. And so that was kind of the like, the premise for the Mel Robbins podcast was simple. I got tired of watching everybody else launch podcasts. I miss the days of radio.

• 55:46Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  I wanted to do longer form content. A lot of people don't realize that a lot of my company was the keynote speaking, but then I have a production company. And a lot of people know Reese's company, Hello Sunshine, because it's public facing. I have the exact same type of business, only I partner with people like Starbucks and with LinkedIn. We've built the single most successful course on all of LinkedIn.

• 56:11Emma Grede?

  And I know this. I mean, you have a business now, Robbins.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  We've been hired by Audible to do six original audio series for them, for their subscribers.

• 56:20Emma Grede?

  Talk to us about the verticals of that business, because I want to talk about this new business that you've launched, but you have a serious empire around you. That's what you're building.

• 56:31Speaker 01

  Well, yes.

• 56:33Emma Grede?

  Yes. Not well, yes, I'm just gonna say it. Yes, yes, yes. Because what I came to and what I saw was not.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  What did you see?

• 56:40Emma Grede?

  Well, first of all, I, I mean, first of all, it's what you feel. You were hanging out the window. There's all these people there. They're all like best in class in their field, right? When I, I had, I don't know, maybe recorded three or four podcasts, your whole team made themselves available and said, what do you need? How can we help you? What information would be useful to you and your tiny two people team right now?

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 57:02Emma Grede?

  They spent the entire time that we recorded helping my team have since done multiple Zoom calls with them. And every now and again, when we don't know something, well, we're gonna call them. And they answer and they give us the information.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  Well, let me tell you why.

• 57:15Emma Grede?

  So beyond just incredible people, you have built a real, like a real company that is making moves and doing incredible things in multiple verticals.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  Well, if you want to win, which I do, you have to become a student. Of the game you want to become the master of. And so before I got into the podcasting space, I had a business I was running and I studied the podcasting space. Who's on top? Who's not? What are the formats? What are the lengths? What do the demographics look like? The information's all there. Like if you want to launch a business, the coolest thing about today is you can actually study everybody. The roadmap is right there. It's all there. And you don't have to worry about copying anybody because everybody copies each other, number one. But number two, you will always make it your own because you can't help but not to because you're going to be doing it. So I just started to recognize, okay, if you want to compete, it's got to be at least

• 58:09Speaker 01

  two days a week. Oh, if you want to compete, it's got to be, you know, an hour. Oh, if you've got to compete. And my goal in launching this would be that within a year, we would be able to break into the top 100 once. Like even just like a, we're there, okay, screenshot that. We did it. Okay. Yes, exactly. And I hired one person because I was placing a bet because the vast majority of podcasts do not make money. And there's a huge, as you said, huge number of them. And you'd have to be some sort of sociopath to think that you could break through somehow and have something wildly successful out of the gate.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  And so I just assumed it would take a year. That it would take a year. Hired one person and we continued with existing operations on other thing. And we recorded the first episode on the floor of the closet in my bedroom because it's the only place that didn't echo. I live in a, you know, old wood house in Vermont. And the mission was simple. I had, I thought for a decade about all the people I would bump into, not on stage, not in conference rooms. I'm the kind of person that doesn't talk to the people eating in the restaurant. I talk to the waiters, the back of the house. Those are the people who listen to the Mel Robbins podcast. My people are the people that I bump into in the hallway.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  That I see in the elevator, that I talk to in the grocery store. I thought about all those people and I thought, what if we could create a podcast? That was like a walk with a friend. Because the mistake that I think most podcasts make is that we have a conversation and we keep talking to you as you're listening or watching right now, but most podcasts, you have a conversation and you let people eavesdrop. That's not what I'm doing.

• 1:00:00Emma Grede?

  No, you're not.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  Not at all.

• 1:00:01Emma Grede?

  No, you're not.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  I have constructed from the very beginning, a podcast production and philosophy that is about the one human being who's tuned in. And how do we obsess over every single detail so that this one person who is listening, who is driving or walking, feels like they're with friends? Feels like we have our arms around them? Feels like even if we have some neuroscientists with 50,000 degrees that I can't pronounce, that we're not smarter. We're all just in this together. That if you're just learning in this for the first time, you're not behind. You're right where you need to be. And that it's packaged in a way that's entertaining and encouraging and I got something to do. And if it's good, you're then gonna wanna share it with somebody.

• 1:00:45Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  50% of the people that listen any given week have never listened to the show before. And they may never listen again, and that's okay. They came because somebody that they love listened and thought it was valuable enough that they shared it and recommended it. That's why this has exploded. We had been dominated in the top 20 of all podcasts since we launched. Not a single article was written about our show for two years.

• 1:01:12Emma Grede?

  That's nuts. Why was that?

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Because we don't, we're not part of the news cycle. We don't interview celebrities.

• 1:01:17Emma Grede?

  Ah, and you just want...

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  We do not talk about breaking news. Everything we talk about is evergreen.

• 1:01:21Emma Grede?

  Fair.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  And I am so proud of that fact.

• 1:01:23Emma Grede?

  Yes, you should be.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  Because it means that this show has become a global phenomenon, one person at a time.

• 1:01:28Emma Grede?

  Well, also, Mel, you should be so proud because I feel like you taught me such an important thing and I won't forget it because you sat opposite me and you did this triangulation. And you were like, it's me, and it's you, and it's the listener. And when you keep that in mind, like that is like, that's where your entire chat always comes back to, right?

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:01:47Emma Grede?

  Triangulation and that you're never above anyone. You're never speaking down to anyone. You're on a level.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Ever. And we're welcoming you in and you belong here and you can learn this.

• 1:01:58Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  You can apply this and.

• 1:02:00Emma Grede?

  But we're together learning. That's always the sense that I get. Like, I'm like, oh, like, I'm in it and she's in it too. And you're asking all the things that I'm like, but what about? And it's like, boom, you're just, you're right there.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  A lot of people don't also realize that before we get to the mics, there's probably fifty to a hundred hours of work put into it. That's.

• 1:02:16Emma Grede?

  That's what you do to really well.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Worth your time.

• 1:02:18Emma Grede?

  Oh, no, like, and this is what I mean.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  And then there's another hundred hours after because we produce a different show for YouTube.

• 1:02:24Emma Grede?

  Right, then you produce.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  For listening.

• 1:02:26Emma Grede?

  Oh, so the audio product is entirely different.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  I'm focused on the impact, not virality. If I can make it worth your time and impactful and it has a positive difference. If I shift you just slightly, you will share it with somebody else.

• 1:02:44Emma Grede?

  Facts. I mean, that's just like the one oh one in product marketing. It's like, if you buy a fantastic bra, you're going to tell your friends that you've got this fantastic bra and you're going to come back and buy another fantastic bra.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Enough. That's how it works.

• 1:02:55Emma Grede?

  Need to create a bra that does, you know, water squirts coming out of it. It's fine. It's like, we can just make the great product and the people will come. So let's just talk a second because you've made another great product, but this time, Mel, it's a little bit different from the other products and I have to talk to you about this.

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  I have, you're the first person I'm talking to about.

• 1:03:13Emma Grede?

  First of all, I am so happy that I'm the first person, but when you said to me, I'm actually creating like a branded product, I was like, what are you talking about? And you kept saying this thing, it's pure genius, it's pure genius. It wasn't until I managed to get the little thing in my hand that I was like, oh, it's called pure genius. That is pure genius. I could just, I, first of all, talk to me about this little perfection.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what it is.

• 1:03:38Emma Grede?

  Protein shot.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what it is. So there's nothing like it on the market. It's pure genius. That's the name of the brand. It is a twenty-three gram whey protein shot that has all the amino acids you need. It's shelf stable.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  It is 100 calories. It has zero sugar. It's gluten free. And here's the coolest part. It's not chalky. You don't have to choke it down. It will fill you up, but not bloat you. It's clinical grade. So if you're on GLP-1s or fighting cancer, or when my dad had brain surgery and they were trying to give him those shakes that nobody can choke down. The medical scientific board for this that is launching, that I cannot disclose right now, is so unbelievable because it's people that do the actual research and academic papers and that are treating patients and are in clinical practice.

• 1:04:27Emma Grede?

  And Mel, it's a shot.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Well, check this out.

• 1:04:30Emma Grede?

  Dunk dunk, because I'm out here with a giant protein shake and I'm bloated and I don't want to drink it and I don't want all that.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  Well, here's how this happened. And this is how you find a problem to solve. This is what you always talk about. So I have listened to every expert. I'm listening with you on my own podcast. I can't believe how much we're all learning. Dr. Amy Shaw came on, I'll never forget it, in 2023, episode 77. And she came on and started talking about resistance training and protein and that not all protein is created equal. And I'm like, what? All this shit I'm scooping in my smoothies, not actually counting. Wait, I need how much protein? Resistance training for hormones? That began. And then it was Dr. Gabrielle Lyons, who's muscle centric medicine and all about your muscles and protein. Then Dr. Stacey Sims, who by the way, is the number one most shared

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  episode of the entire world on Apple this year, talking about resistance training and protein. She's a PhD from Stanford.

• 1:05:27Emma Grede?

  I must have shared that episode 1,000 times. I think it was me. It's so incredible, the way she speaks, what she tells us, her wisdom. It's so counter, like, the narrative that's happening right now. I was like, what do you mean? I don't need to go in the cold plunge like that? Like, what is happening?

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  And what do you mean? I shouldn't exercise without eating protein? Exercising on an empty stomach for women is...

• 1:05:50Emma Grede?

  Because it's for women. The information is for a woman, by a woman.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  So I made it my goal this year, Emma, to get more protein. I made it my goal to do resistance training. And I'm going to tell you something. It's really hard to get a lot of protein. Yeah, I know. And I'm cooking, and I'm shaking, and I'm smoothie-ing, and I'm cottage cheese, and I'm egg bites, and I'm doing what I can, and I'm always falling short. Every day. And the bars are melting in my purse. And I gotta refrigerate it so I can't take it on the go. And so I started calling doctors and saying, what do you do? I started asking other people in the space. What do you recommend? And I bumped into these people that were working on this shot. And I got so excited about it that I said, I want to get involved. And when I say get involved, I mean become a complete control freak.

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  And a year ago, I became a co-founder behind the scenes of this brand-new company called Pure Genius that was working on a whey, clinical-grade whey protein shot that is the viscosity of water. You can pour this in a margarita. You can pour this in iced tea. You can chug this. You can put this in your kid's lunchbox. When my dad was having brain surgery and we couldn't keep him nourished, he could have taken this. We have a doctor from the Mayo Clinic who has gotten on board, who told us that sucralose is counteracting to chemotherapy. It's one of the worst things that you can eat if you're a cancer patient. Is that true? It is true. And so she cited all the research on it. So I've been to the labs.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  I've been working with the scientists. We have driven the formulation. Our scientific board has signed off on this. They cannot wait to start recommending this to people because we're taking protein out of the gym and into your life, and into your golf bag, and your backpack, and the lunchboxes. It's for everybody because we all need it. And we're trying hard, we're cooking our meals, we're doing our prep, and we're falling short. And so I am so proud. We have created a solution that is under $4, that you can trust, that is research-backed. It's simple, and it fits into a busy person's life. And by the way... That's pure genius.

• 1:08:02Emma Grede?

  Ding with the light bulb!

• 1:08:03Speaker 01

  Ding!

• 1:08:04Emma Grede?

  That is genius!

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:08:06Emma Grede?

  It's so good, Mel. How proud are you of this? Are you dying?

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  I'm dying because I need this. And when I first saw the product, it tasted like shit. It was too sweet and the ingredients were junky. And I needed something to help me bridge the gap. And I said, I'm gonna get involved. I'm gonna get involved because I think this is a solution that anybody can use.

• 1:08:38Speaker 08

  Today's episode is sponsored by NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast. Ever Google a money question and end up 12 tabs deep with 12 different answers? This podcast is your shortcut back to clarity. NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast breaks down financial decisions with a team of trusted journalists. They explain the why behind decisions like investing, home buying, and choosing credit cards with clear, research-backed insights. No jargon, no misinformation. Make your next financial move with confidence. Follow NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast on your favorite podcast app.

• 1:09:13Emma Grede?

  How are you thinking about this? Is this like a pure business play to you? Is it a wellness play? Like, how are you thinking about the Mel Robbins branded product?

• 1:09:23Speaker 01

  Well, everything I do is simple. It's useful. It's relatable. And it's research-backed. And I am not an expert in protein. I am a normal person trying to get more protein, like everybody else. And so when I got involved, there are a couple of things that I think are really important. Never sign a deal that you will regret in success. The deals that I have been really pissed off about are the ones where it turned out to be really successful and I was a dummy.

• 1:09:58Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  And so if you are able, I wasn't able in the beginning of my life. I was, you know, when I have to pay your bills, you take whatever deal you can, you take whatever project you can, you go, go, go, go, go, and then you work and do your side hustle on the side.

• 1:10:11Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  That's the other thing that's really important to understand. You should never, ever, ever quit your job. Because the research shows if you keep your job while you work on the thing, you are three times more likely to be successful because you don't put economic pressure on the thing.

• 1:10:26Emma Grede?

  No, that is a hundred percent right.

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  So in the beginning, you'll take shitty deals. But when you get to the point where you're going to do something and you have a little financial security, never take a deal that in success, you're going to be angry at yourself. So for example, another thing about my business, I own everything I do. I do joint ventures.

• 1:10:40Emma Grede?

  You do?

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I do joint ventures on the books. So no advances, just joint ventures, so it's a straight profit split.

• 1:10:45Emma Grede?

  Yes, to that eight million.

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, books sold. I sever all the audiobook rights and do it myself.

• 1:10:51Emma Grede?

  You do?

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Of course. It's just a digital file. Why would I let somebody else participate in that?

• 1:10:55Emma Grede?

  Why would you?

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  Why would you?

• 1:10:56Emma Grede?

  Why would you?

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  Why would you?

• 1:10:58Emma Grede?

  Well, you're Mel Robbins. You've got one of the most recognizable voices in the whole world. Why would you?

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Why would you? But why would anybody?

• 1:11:03Emma Grede?

  But I, well, let me tell you, and a lot of people do because they don't understand their power and their genius. And I think that you should, and you clearly do, and you are really building this very, very impressive media company behind the scenes. And I don't know that, you know, maybe this is not what you care about particularly, but it's very, very clear that you're a very astute businesswoman.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:11:29Emma Grede?

  Like, that is what you're building right now.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  Yes, and it's critical when you're building a business to understand what is important to you to control.

• 1:11:38Emma Grede?

  And what is important for you to control? Because right now, you're the face, you're the founder. What is it, like, what is, what is becoming the most important thing for you?

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  I have to have control over the product and over what I am being asked to do. I have to have control over my time. I will never be talent in somebody else's game. That's why I've never put my name on a product. It's why my name is not on this product.

• 1:12:06Emma Grede?

  I'm right.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  I had to, I wanted to step in as a co-founder because it was critical to me that if I was gonna get behind something, I had to go to the lab. I wasn't gonna just slap my name on something like a lot of people do. I was going to get to the lab and meet the scientists. I was gonna build my own medical board. And by the way, you wanna know the first person I called? Dr. Amy Shaw. Of course you did. Can you go to the lab with me?

• 1:12:30Emma Grede?

  You're the rolodex of the doctors.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  I'm like, you're the one who started all this.

• 1:12:32Emma Grede?

  You're like, hello.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Well, she's also a triple board certified, Ivy educated, Cornell, Yale.

• 1:12:38Emma Grede?

  Well, that's, that's to me why I so trust you with this. Because I know that you have spent the last god knows how many years speaking to the best of the best of the best doctors. And so you already won't accept any shit.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And then I wouldn't, it took six months to actually get the legal work done because there was no way that I would be outvoted by a board on the meaningful things that matter to me. You cannot change the formulation unless I say yes. You cannot change the branding unless I say yes. You cannot like do certain things unless I say yes. And here's the other thing that's really important. You have to understand what you're good at and what you're not. I am not the operator. I have partnered and have co-founders that are genius at operations.

• 1:13:24Emma Grede?

  Pure genius.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Pure genius. I am the person that is driving the formulation. Yes. Ding, ding. I'm the person that's driving the formulation. I'm the person that's driving the branding. And I'll even tell you the story, the inspiration for the branding. I was walking with Dr. Amy and my business partner Christine. We had just gotten done with the lab. The packaging came back and it looked like everything else. And I'm like, I'm not inspired. I'm not, this is like watery and fruity and it's unlike any other protein you'll ever, like in its clinical grade, like we gotta have something like iconic. I need something great. And I'm like, I gotta call Emma. And I said, you know, this is gonna sound really cheesy, guys, but I'm gonna admit something to you. When I am looking at bottles of water, I'll admit it to you, when I select

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  smart water, I feel smarter. I don't even know why. I need the PhD. But I feel smart. And here's what I want. I want people to feel like a genius when they're making this choice.

• 1:14:21Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  And I'm like, and what is the icon? For Genius.

• 1:14:28Emma Grede?

  It's a light bulb.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Thomas Edison.

• 1:14:29Emma Grede?

  It's a light bulb.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  Einstein. It's a light bulb. And I know it's cheesy, but I don't care. Because here's another metric I'm gonna give you. We did this for the book cover. We did this for this. If I'm walking down the beach, I wanna be able to spot the Let Them Theory book cover, half a football field away and know that's that book.

• 1:14:46Emma Grede?

  Boy, do ya. I saw those all over the beach this summer.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  If I am in a gym or in a schoolroom cafeteria or I'm at the mall or I'm anywhere in life or I'm online, I wanna be able to see this and go, oh, that's that thing. And then I wanna hide something cool in it. So it's all inspired by vintage light bulbs and the geniuses of modern day and the past, which we will be celebrating in the brand rollout. Pure Genius.

• 1:15:14Emma Grede?

  It's pure genius. I'm so happy for you because I actually really believe in this product. I think there's a need for it. I need it right now. I know people listening will be like, when can I get it? Where do I get it? How do I get it? It's like, just stay in there. Find Mel, she's gonna have it.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  Here's the thing. You don't even need to buy it. Just go to Pure Genius Protein and read the science because I want you to be educated about protein. Because the biggest news to me is if it doesn't have the amino acids you need, it doesn't count. Like, if you don't see leucine, if you don't see the essential amino acids on the label in terms of it being part of the complete protein, it doesn't count. And there's a lot of things being labeled, especially targeting women, that don't count.

• 1:15:58Emma Grede?

  Well, we definitely don't want that. We don't wanna waste our time now. Well, listen, I cannot wait to see your ever-growing success with this thing. I've got two really quick questions to you. The first thing is that you have spoken to countless experts, professionals, doctors, leaders of all different types. I wanna understand, when you think about the things that you've taken into your life, when you distill that information, the things that you know to be true, what are some of the most important things? What does Mel Robbins get up and think about every day because you know it to be true?

• 1:16:34Speaker 01

  The settings in your mind can be changed. That your mind is not just a supercomputer, it is a spotlight. And everything that you think has been programmed from the past. And if you don't like the noise up here, I want you to get very intentional. And I want you to start to train your mind. And I'm going to give you two things to do. Every single day, this is going to sound super cheesy. I know you do something similar. You are going to wake up and say, today's going to be a good day. Even if you're going to a funeral, today's going to be a good day because I'm going to show up and I'm going to support people that I love today. And we're going to celebrate somebody that I deeply care about. Today is going to be a good day. You have just signaled to your brain to now spotlight out and look. And I'm going to prove to you that you can do this.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  Because here's the second thing I want you to do. Today, as you're walking, I want you to look for a heart. I want you to just scan around and see if you can see anywhere around you the shape of a heart. It might be a stain on the floor. It might be the shape of a leaf. It might be, you know, a pattern in the wall. I see one right now. And what you're doing is you are, when you say, I'm going to find a heart today. You are programming and changing the settings up here in your brain. You are activating something called the reticular activating network. It's like a hairnet on your brain that changes over time. And it's paying attention to what you say is important. And mark my words. As you start to make it a daily habit, today's going to be a good day. And I'm going to find a heart today.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  I'm going to scan, I'm going to train my brain. And you start to see them everywhere. That is evidence that you just manually change the settings on your mind. And it's so important to understand that. Because the way that you see the world and what's possible determines the world you see. And there is so much good, and there is so much right in front of you. And there are people that are in front of you that are there to help you. There are people that you're currently jealous of or that have achieved the things that you want to achieve. They are literally angels on the path ahead of you, guiding you. You can study them. You can go to Microsoft Copilot, which is the AI platform I personally

• 1:18:47Speaker 01

  like because I have used it since 1990. And I don't think they're gonna make a lot of big scary decisions because I don't think they want to go out of business in the race to the bottom. I think they really want to figure this out, so I trust them. You can, you can put in anything you want and it'll give you the plan. But then you've got to make sure you have a mindset that says, I can figure this out and I'm gonna keep trying and keep showing up.

• 1:19:14Emma Grede?

  Now, when you think about your legacy, what do you want to be known for?

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  My legacy for sure is the Let Them Theory, that I gave to the world a modern version of the ancient wisdom and the fundamental truths about life that we could apply in moments when things seem profoundly out of control. And it helps you feel more peaceful and in control. But when I think about the legacy, in a smaller way, I just think about my children and I think about every single person. This is what like, I really hope my legacy is that, um, people say, boy, she really was a good person and she made me feel good about myself and she left the world a little

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  bit better than she found it.

• 1:20:05Emma Grede?

  I think that will happen for you now.

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  It happens every day, actually.

• 1:20:08Emma Grede?

  Pretty, I'm pretty frickin' sure about it. I'm so happy to have you here today. We're gonna do a very quick rapid fire and it has to be rapid. Mel Robbins, first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  Get out of bed.

• 1:20:21Emma Grede?

  Last thing you do before you go to bed?

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  I, I do the same where I just like literally put my hand on my heart right as I'm, like I'm actually in bed, so I'm thinking, falling asleep, go to bed. Yes, just, that's it.

• 1:20:32Emma Grede?

  I love that. What's a book that changed your life?

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  Um, The Let Them Theory. Well, The Let Them Theory for sure changed my life. Almost every book changes my life in some way or another. But a book that's really struck me was The Emperor of Gladness. Ocean Vaughn wrote it. We just had him on the podcast. It's a book about the fact that there is dignity in, and beauty.

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  Even when you're really struggling. It's a book about people that meet each other while they're working at Boston Market and become a little bit of a family. And if you've ever worked a retail job, which we both have, Oh, yeah. You're treated like garbage and you feel invisible. And you often question if your life is ever going to go anywhere because you feel frozen in time and insignificant. And the book is really about just exploring the beauty in life. There's this moment when his mom was dying. He was sitting by her bedside and kind of talking and reminiscing. And, you know, tell me some of your favorite memories. And she said, my most favorite thing I'm going to remember is sitting in the McDonald's parking lot, eating chicken nuggets with you.

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  That's your life. That's your life. And if you're not careful, you're going to be so consumed and so busy with meaningless stuff that you're going to miss it. Now, what are you currently aspiring to in your business life? Tell me in your business life first. What I'm aspiring to is to achieve the same level of excellence and impact with less time. To use technology in a way that gives people more time to focus on the artistry and to be smarter with that. And to also use technology, because our podcast is evergreen. So I started investing in AI tools two years ago so that our content would speak to generative search.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  And so I'm very interested in translation tools and things that will help bring the world-renowned experts and these episodes that we pour our hearts and souls into to people around the world who may not speak English or who don't have the platforms that they're currently on. Like you, it's unlikely you'll see me ever do one of these big deals you're seeing now with all the other people jumping in. Because my podcast needs to be free. Right.

• 1:22:49Emma Grede?

  Great answer.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  On mission.

• 1:22:51Emma Grede?

  Great answer. Always, always back to the mission, the vision, the values, every single time.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  Like, do not take the money. If it's against your mission, do not do that.

• 1:23:00Emma Grede?

  Yeah, it will be very expensive.

• 1:23:02Speaker 01

  Yes, well, a much more expensive, much more profitable deal will come along in the future, even if the profitable deal is just closing your eyes at night and knowing you stayed true to yourself.

• 1:23:13Emma Grede?

  Damn right. What are you aspiring for in your personal life?

• 1:23:16Speaker 01

  More time with my husband and kids, more time with my girlfriends. I'd like to see you more.

• 1:23:20Emma Grede?

  I mean, hello. Yes, I'm very happy you're here in L.A. I will tell you that. What are the big pieces of advice that you have for women in the world right now, those that are navigating ambition and their personal lives and, you know, those that are, because we're in a funny old time. Why do you think it's a funny old time? Well, you know, I think it's a funny old time because there's so much insecurity out there. I feel like people used to come in and do their job and feel really good about it. And now they're worried that, you know, their job is not going to be there for them and they might be struggling to have a baby and they're feeling uncertain that they should even have a baby because they don't know what's going to happen and they're thinking about climate change. It's a time of great insecurity for people, I think.

• 1:24:04Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. So, number one.

• 1:24:06Emma Grede?

  And notice I didn't mention the political climate there, but we're just going to go over that.

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  I think that's part of it too. Like, first of all, I don't buy into the collective illusion. I do not buy that the loudest, most extreme and disgusting voices represent the majority.

• 1:24:19Emma Grede?

  They don't. That's because they don't.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  They don't. But I do think it's seeping into people's weariness. What I would say is if you feel all those things, you're having a mentally healthy response to a world that feels like it's spinning off its axis. Those are worthy things to worry about, and so I just want to validate that.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  And the worrying, is it helping you?

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  Does worrying about AI, does worrying about whether or not you're going to get pregnant, is it helping you achieve the things and or even just stay peaceful? And the answer is probably no. And so the reason to attack the worrying and the reason to like focus on that is because it's not helping you. It's actually hurting you. And if you can get control of that and you can go let them like let AI come, I can't control that, but let me remind myself I could spend this weekend leaning into the skills. I could spend this weekend like asking, do I even like this job and do I want to make a pivot now so that I'm taking control and not sitting here feeling insecure like a sitting duck? You know, let them whether I get pregnant or not, even though it's high stake stuff,

• 1:25:24Speaker 01

  but let me just take the best care that I can and let me tell myself that my body's able to manage this and that the more I take care of myself and I trust how things are going to work out, I trust my ability to be okay, that if I'm in a calmer and safer state, then I'm setting myself up to be in a place to be capable and to also help myself achieve those goals because we know stress does not help. But I think the main thing to say, if everything's important, nothing is. And one of the fastest ways to take control is to sit with yourself for a day and ask yourself, what is actually important to me? How am I going to measure success?

• 1:26:05Speaker 01

  And when you really go through this exercise and you look at everything that's on your plate, you'll notice that 90% of it is other people's expectations and emergencies. It doesn't have to be done today. And if you can learn how to slow down and every day go, okay, what's the number one thing that I need to focus on today? Somehow you're going to start to feel more in control again and all of the emergencies take care of themselves anyway.

• 1:26:30Emma Grede?

  Yes, they do.

• 1:26:31Speaker 01

  Attention, but you got to get back into what's the number one thing for me today? Because if I allow everything to be important, nothing will be important in my life.

• 1:26:38Emma Grede?

  It's a great piece of advice. This is the final question I have for you. What is something that you used to value deeply that you no longer value?

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  Other people's opinions.

• 1:26:48Emma Grede?

  The best answer. Mel, I love you. Thank you so much for being here. It's the best. You're the best.

• 1:26:53Speaker 01

  You're the best. I love you.

• 1:26:54Emma Grede?

  Thank you. Thank you beyond.

• 1:26:55Speaker 01

  How are you?

• 1:26:55Emma Grede?

  Thank you, guys. Thank you.

• 1:27:02Emma Grede?

  If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click Follow on your favourite listening platform. While you're there, give us a review and a five-star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend. We'll be so grateful. Aspire with Emma Grede is presented by Odyssey. I'm your host, Emma Grede. Our executive producers are Corinne Gilliard Fisher, Derek Brown and me. Our executive producers from Odyssey are Maddie Sprung Kaiser, Leah Reese Dennis, Asha Saluja and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Stephen Key is our senior producer. Sound design and engineering by Bill Schultz. Angela Peluso is our booker. Original music by Charles Black. Video production by Evan Cox, Kirk Courtney, Andrew Steele, Carlos Delgado and Arnie Agassi. Social media by Olivia Homan.

• 1:27:47Emma Grede?

  Special thanks to Brittany Smith, Sidney Ford, my teams at The Lead Company and WME. Maura Curran, Josephina Francis, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson Rose, Tim Meeke, Shaun Cherry and Lauren Vieira. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at aspirewithemmagreed. Grede is spelt G R E D E. That's aspire, A S P I R E with Emma Grede. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emmagreed.me.