Pod Insights Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard Armchair Anonymous: Dental Disaster About this episode Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a dental disaster.
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Transcript 11,333 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Dax Shepard? Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Rogers.
0:06 Speaker 01 Hi.
0:07 Dax Shepard? This is the worst episode that we've ever recorded for me.
0:11 Speaker 01 In your opinion.
0:12 Dax Shepard? For me. We finally found the thing that I was very squeamish about.
0:16 Speaker 01 Yeah. Shockingly so.
0:18 Dax Shepard? My knees were quaking.
0:21 Speaker 01 A lot of people, I think, have mouthed fear.
0:23 Dax Shepard? Yes. This is dental disasters. And most of my nightmares I've had, I got to hear people have lived.
0:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:31 Dax Shepard? This is rough.
0:33 Speaker 01 But they're great.
0:34 Dax Shepard? Don't listen.
0:34 Speaker 01 No, listen.
0:35 Dax Shepard? Do not listen to this.
0:36 Speaker 01 If you're a tough guy like Monica, then you can listen.
0:41 Dax Shepard? You were warned. Please enjoy dental disasters. We get support from Quince.
0:47 Speaker 01 I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.
0:56 Dax Shepard? I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince, because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.
1:19 Speaker 01 $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories. They skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.
1:36 Dax Shepard? The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time and he looks iconic.
1:45 Speaker 01 It's a uniform.
1:47 Dax Shepard? Mm-hmm.
1:47 Speaker 01 And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.
2:05 Dax Shepard? Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers. Or go to quince.com get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that too.
2:40 Speaker 01 That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs. So the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else.
2:53 Dax Shepard? AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.
3:07 Speaker 01 That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.
3:11 Dax Shepard? It's an easy everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.
3:21 Speaker 01 Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.
3:29 Dax Shepard? Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax and after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Expert sent you.
4:13 Dax Shepard? Hi, is this Christie?
4:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, it is.
4:16 Dax Shepard? Where are you?
4:16 Speaker 02 I know, I didn't give you much to go off of.
4:18 Dax Shepard? You do have a beautiful baby picture behind you.
4:22 Speaker 02 It's actually a blanket, but it is my daughter's photo. But I'm in Reading, California.
4:26 Dax Shepard? And how's the dental work up there in Reading? Do you have a lot of good options for dental work?
4:31 Speaker 02 What's funny is I worked in dentistry for eight years. So I do keep a good eye out for good dentists. I did find one.
4:37 Dax Shepard? Okay, so walk us through your disaster. Now I'm wondering if you witnessed one. I didn't even consider that.
4:42 Speaker 01 Same, this is one of those like police ones where we don't know what angle we're gonna get.
4:47 Dax Shepard? What side of the equation?
4:48 Speaker 02 Sadly, it's me. So it was February of 2022. We actually had just moved to Reading about six months prior to that. My brother lives here. My mom ended up moving out here and so did my in-laws. But at the time, it was just my brother's family and we were new to Reading. My dad was in town visiting because February is a very big month in our family for birthdays. So this one happened to be my niece, which is about the third one down the line in February. And my daughter's birthday, who's now nine, but was turning six, is two days after my niece on Sunday, which is important to the story. We are going over, we're all doing a big old family birthday party at my brother's house. We walk in and my brother has three older kids. He's got three boys who at the time were 17, 15, and 13.
5:31 Dax Shepard? Dangerous.
5:32 Speaker 02 Yes.
5:34 Speaker 01 That's a lot of boys.
5:35 Dax Shepard? There's fire, there's blood.
5:37 Speaker 01 Yes.
5:39 Speaker 02 Today was virtual reality goggles that they had just bought. And so they're all trying it out. They had a few friends over as well and they're having a ball. When we arrive, they're showing my dad. He's got the goggles on and they're showing him how to do all the things. And they're doing something where he's like flying like Superman over New York City.
5:56 Dax Shepard? Can I interrupt you for one second? Cause our friend Eric just introduced us to this. He had read recently that one of the parts of your brain that atrophies the most as you get older is your ability to maintain your balance while your eyes are closed. So he's been making all of us, and if you're older, try this. You stand on one leg with your eyes closed. If you get to 30 seconds, that's a huge win if you're older. Does that play a role in this story?
6:18 Speaker 02 Not for my dad, no.
6:19 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay. Sorry. What a waste of time detour. Sorry.
6:22 Speaker 01 Well, it was a good teaching moment.
6:23 Speaker 02 It's a good tip, though.
6:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:25 Speaker 02 So my dad's had enough because they had him try something. He's deathly afraid of heights and it was way too real for him. And so he's like, I can't do this anymore, guys. Hands the goggles over to my husband, who is back at being like a 12 or 13 year old with these goggles on. My nephews are like, you need to try this plank game. You go up 40 stories in this building and then you gotta walk out on a plank and then just jump off.
6:47 Speaker 01 Ah, no. That sounds horrible.
6:49 Speaker 02 So he tries it and he was like, oh my God, that feels so real. He's like, babe, you're not afraid of heights. You've got to try this. I see my three nephews looking at me and smirking and I was like, well, I'm not gonna be outdone by the boys. I did go skydiving for my 25th birthday. So I was like, I'm not gonna be played up here. I was like, yes, let's do it. So put on the goggles. My 15 year old nephew sets me up. He's like, stand right here, which is literally right in front of the couch. The TV in the entertainment center is about maybe six feet in front of me. Put on the goggles and immediately you're in this elevator. It shoots you up 40 stories and then the elevator opens and there's no more building. It's just like this plank. It's 40 stories up in New York City, skyscraper. So you can hear like all the cabs honking and city noise and all this stuff. It's
7:32 Speaker 02 really strange. You almost feel like you can even feel like wind blowing.
7:35 Dax Shepard? Yeah, your brain's filling in everything.
7:37 Speaker 02 I immediately start to feel anxious and then I start talking myself down where I'm like, I'm in my brother's living room. You're standing on a rug. Just walk. Of course, I hear family in the background going, come on, walk. And at this point, it's my entire family that's there. There's a good 10 people watching me do this. I start walking down to the plank. I get to the end of the plank and I ask my nephew, I was like, so now what? He's like, jump. And there's buildings like in front of you. So I said, jump to the next building? He's like, no, just jump. I'm like, I'm not jumping to anything.
8:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, like what's the point?
8:06 Speaker 02 Being like such an adult about this.
8:08 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:08 Speaker 02 Instead of just hopping off the end of the plank, I decide I'm all in. I'm gonna do a big old leap off this plank. I jump as high as I think I can to jump off this plank, not realizing that instead of jumping up, I've jumped out.
8:22 Dax Shepard? Oh. Okay.
8:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, I could see that. Being tricky.
8:27 Speaker 02 So I jump forward and all goes dark for thirty seconds. The next thing I know is that my mouth is open. It's like on the edge of the entertainment.
8:38 Speaker 01 No.
8:39 Dax Shepard? You landed mouth first on the entertainment center.
8:42 Speaker 02 I feel a tooth on my tongue.
8:45 Dax Shepard? This is a rough prompt. I don't know why we did this.
8:49 Speaker 02 There's pictures that you can see.
8:52 Dax Shepard? Can't wait. And I'm terrified.
8:53 Speaker 02 My brain takes a second. I just stand. It is dead silent. I can feel blood in my mouth. I cover my mouth and I walk straight to the bathroom. I close the door to assess the situation. I open my mouth and one of my teeth is basically touching my tongue. It's still, all my teeth are still connected to my gums.
9:09 Speaker 01 Okay.
9:10 Speaker 02 From what I can see, it looks like my forefront teeth are like kind of just bent down.
9:16 Dax Shepard? This is fifty percent of the nightmares I've had in my life. Cause I think as I had so much orthodontia, it's my teeth are fucking pushed back in my mouth. I'm like, oh no.
9:25 Speaker 01 The people watching are just seeing a human stand and then jump into a table.
9:31 Dax Shepard? Teeth first into it. Yeah.
9:34 Speaker 02 Yes. My very first thought was I cannot miss my six year old's birthday party on Sunday. I'm hosting a birthday party on Sunday, two days from now. Second thought is I guess I'm getting implants, but what does that look like this weekend? Like my mind just started going through like the different steps of the dentistry. So I walk out of the bathroom, still cupping my mouth so I don't freak out my daughter and my niece and probably the adults as well. And so I just sit down. Everybody's kind of circled around me. My husband comes up, my sister in law is on the phone with urgent care to see if we should go to an urgent care in ER. They tell her, send her to an ER. We take off. I haven't said a word. I'm not crying, not in any pain, which is in my opinion, very bizarre, but it must be the shock. We get over to the ER. I can't speak at all.
10:19 Speaker 02 My husband has to take the lead. I'm sitting here filling out paperwork while he's talking to like the intake nurse. She's trying to like make sense of what he's saying. She kind of wants to laugh a little bit and they've never dealt with any of this. The story's getting around because you can see staff is like peeking out to like try to get a look at me. First thing they do is take me back for a CT scan to see. If I fractured or broken any of my jaw or nose or anything of that nature. I broke and fractured nothing.
10:43 Dax Shepard? Your teeth really absorbed all the uh the shock.
10:46 Speaker 02 The other thought that I had was my brother had just bought this new table and it was like recycled mango waters. It was like super duper fancy. I even said to my brother before I left, I was like, I'm sorry I ruined your table because my teeth marks are on it. Which there's a picture of that as well. Like you can see where my teeth.
11:02 Dax Shepard? Oh wow. Yeah, I'd argue that you up the value of it. Yeah. That thing has a story now. Hey, did you check out the teeth marks in that reclaimed wood?
11:10 Speaker 02 They finally take me back. The emergency room doctor comes and looks at me and he's having a hard time trying to keep a straight face. Because he's never dealt with this and doesn't know what to do. He's not a dentist.
11:19 Dax Shepard? I was gonna ask you that. It never occurred to me what you do with dental emergencies because it's not like there's a dental emergency room. And they don't have dentists on staff.
11:26 Speaker 02 No, you try to save the teeth as best you can. They tell you like if the tooth completely falls out, put it in a cup of milk immediately.
11:32 Dax Shepard? Okay.
11:33 Speaker 02 So they can try and put it back in its place.
11:35 Dax Shepard? Oh.
11:35 Speaker 02 His teeth tend to come back. But in my situation, since they hadn't totally fallen out. First he was like, do we have any dental cement anywhere in the ER? They literally had one tube that they were able to go and took the nurse like 15 minutes to track it down. He's never used dental cement in his life. He doesn't know how it works or what to do with it. So he said, I'm really sorry, but this might hurt a lot. I'm gonna have to push all your teeth back into place as best as I can.
12:01 Dax Shepard? Ah.
12:02 Speaker 02 And then I'm gonna splint it with the dental cement. And it wasn't like he could numb me. He doesn't have like local anesthetic. They gave me some Tylenol.
12:10 Dax Shepard? Guys, we need morphine.
12:12 Speaker 02 I'm still not feeling any pain, like not even a throbbing or anything. It was really strange. So he pushes my teeth back in. It wasn't painful. It was a lot of pressure. He makes a mess of the dental cement. He basically coated my teeth front and back however he could till just make sure they just stayed together. Until I'm able to get to a dentist.
12:29 Dax Shepard? Oh god.
12:29 Speaker 02 He does the best he can, sends me on my way. There's no follow up appointment or anything. Now it's up to the dentists. Go home that night, nothing else I could really do. My husband and I are watching a show, but he's like in complete shock and kinda going through some trauma. He goes, you just don't understand. We all watched you dive in to this head first. Everybody was just like mouth open, like in shock. My dad's still traumatized to this day.
12:50 Speaker 01 Oh, you're your dad.
12:52 Dax Shepard? You ruined the birthday party.
12:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:54 Speaker 02 Since we were new to town, I hadn't established a dentist yet. Happened to call the dentist that I had an appointment for a few weeks later to see if she could fit me in as an emergency. Told her what was going on, got a call back within like 10 minutes. Off to the dentist I go, she and her husband, who happens to be her dental assistant, taking my x-rays. And she's like, good news, none of your teeth are fractured or cracked. I was like, I thought for sure I'm getting implants. She's like, nope. As of now, it looks like I can push them further back into place. The ER doctor did a pretty decent job. She's like, this dental cement's gonna be fun trying to get off of your teeth.
13:28 Speaker 01 Scrapey.
13:29 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
13:30 Speaker 02 She was able to push them all back in. She then splinted it behind the teeth, made it pretty. And then she's like, next step is orthodontist because you're gonna have to hold them back in place. So, good news was I did get to attend my daughter's birthday party the following day. Nobody knew what had happened. My smile looked normal. Went to the orthodontist a couple of days later. I then got fitted for braces, which I then had to wear for the next 10 months.
13:54 Speaker 01 Oh my god, this is a mess.
13:58 Dax Shepard? It sounds like a fun game.
14:02 Speaker 02 Just make sure it's a big, open area.
14:03 Speaker 01 Yes, cautionary.
14:05 Dax Shepard? A loony bin, like the padded cell.
14:07 Speaker 01 Padded room, 100%.
14:09 Speaker 02 Probably for a good four or five months, even with the braces on, I couldn't like bite into a piece of pizza. I had to like tear stuff off and chew with my back teeth because they just didn't feel firm and in place.
14:20 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
14:20 Speaker 02 And even now, if I forget to wear my retainer one night, I can feel my teeth shifting. And then literally that week, my nephews all sold their VR goggles because they were all so traumatized. And they're like, I will never again put these things on my head.
14:34 Dax Shepard? Oh wow, okay, you shut that down. Can we look at the photos now? Is it a good time?
14:39 Speaker 02 Yes.
14:39 Dax Shepard? Okay, okay, I'm so scared.
14:43 Dax Shepard? Oh.
14:44 Speaker 01 It was a horrible.
14:47 Dax Shepard? Let's get you looking at that one. That's a big tooth hanging out. Covered in blood. Yeah.
14:52 Speaker 01 Oh, boy.
14:53 Dax Shepard? Okay, this is after the fact. This looks good. This looks good. I like that. That's a healthy recovery.
14:57 Speaker 01 Okay.
14:58 Dax Shepard? Oh, yeah, that's the same. Oh, God. Okay, you kind of underplayed the teeth marks on the new entertainment center. It looks like a puma.
15:07 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
15:08 Dax Shepard? Tried to take a bite out of it.
15:10 Speaker 02 The way that I fell, I must have scraped it and that's what pushed back. It was the best way to, I guess, have this injury if it was gonna happen, because I didn't break or lose anything.
15:19 Speaker 01 Right. I'm shocked.
15:21 Dax Shepard? That's a really good attitude. That's my nightmare right there.
15:24 Speaker 01 All right, so just no VR goggles for you.
15:26 Dax Shepard? No.
15:27 Speaker 01 Probably gonna stay away from that.
15:29 Dax Shepard? Well, I gotta say, your teeth look spectacular right now.
15:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, they do.
15:32 Dax Shepard? No idea that you teeth dove into a piece of wood.
15:35 Speaker 02 Thankfully, here in Reading, I found a great dentist in North Donut, so we're good there.
15:39 Speaker 01 Perfect.
15:40 Dax Shepard? That's good.
15:40 Speaker 01 Well, thank you for sharing that trauma.
15:43 Dax Shepard? That was terrible.
15:45 Speaker 02 Really great to meet you guys, and have a great rest of your day.
15:47 Dax Shepard? All right, thanks. Take care.
15:50 Speaker 01 I just keep looking at this table.
15:52 Dax Shepard? Uh huh, imagining just. I keep thinking of the scene in American History X.
15:59 Speaker 01 That is a tough scene.
16:03 Dax Shepard? Amanda?
16:04 Speaker 03 Hi.
16:05 Dax Shepard? Hi, how are you?
16:07 Speaker 03 I'm good. How about you?
16:08 Dax Shepard? Good. Is there pressure to go by Mandy?
16:10 Speaker 03 Not as much as you would think. I go by MK sometimes.
16:13 Dax Shepard? Oh, I love that. MK Ultra. Or Olsen, take your pick.
16:16 Speaker 03 There you go.
16:17 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, exactly. Does Amanda ever go by Amy?
16:21 Dax Shepard? No.
16:22 Speaker 03 I feel like there's a very specific Amanda that's a Mandy, and I don't think I'm that Amanda.
16:27 Dax Shepard? It's making me wonder if my cousin Mandy's real name is Amanda.
16:30 Speaker 01 I'm sure it is.
16:32 Dax Shepard? I wonder. I don't even know, because I've only ever called her Mandy.
16:36 Speaker 01 Then maybe it's not. Maybe that's just her name.
16:38 Dax Shepard? Yeah, Mandy McGoldrick, alliteration.
16:40 Speaker 01 Oh, I love alliteration.
16:41 Dax Shepard? Eminem. But I like MK. MK's great. Where are you at, Amanda?
16:45 Speaker 03 I'm in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
16:46 Dax Shepard? A great place, wholesome place, salt of earth place.
16:50 Speaker 03 Been here all my life.
16:51 Speaker 01 Oh, lovely.
16:52 Dax Shepard? Not to insult you, but that's not been terribly long.
16:55 Speaker 03 That's fair. Well, I'm 32.
16:57 Dax Shepard? You are? You look like a baby.
17:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a compliment.
17:02 Dax Shepard? I wish I could live long enough to have a follow up when you're 80 because I bet when you're 80, you're going to look about 45.
17:08 Speaker 01 Maybe you will.
17:09 Dax Shepard? But when she's 80, Moni, I would be 102.
17:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:13 Dax Shepard? Okay, all right, we'll schedule it.
17:15 Speaker 01 Put her on the cal.
17:17 Speaker 03 Looking forward to it.
17:18 Dax Shepard? Okay, Amanda, you have a dental disaster story?
17:21 Speaker 03 I do, yeah. So this story takes place in 2019. I was 25 at the time, so imagine this face, but a little younger. I was working spring weekends at a summer camp in Pennsylvania, big lake, canoeing, archery. But one of the activities that we ran during that time was the zip line, and that's where this story takes place.
17:40 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
17:41 Dax Shepard? A lot of great stories start with a zip line.
17:42 Speaker 01 Oh, my god.
17:43 Speaker 03 So when you run the zip line, there are three jobs that staff have to do. My friend Andy's job was to belay the kids up a tree so that they could go down the zip line. My friend Carla's job was to be at the top of the tree and send the kids down the zip line. And then my job was to catch the kids after they fly on the zip line and get them back on the ground. So I was on the ground. I also was responsible for running the pulley and rope that took the kid down the zip line back to the beginning of the zip line. So that particular day, zip line was running, business as usual for a while. But then Carla, who again was at the top of the tree, she lost her grip on the pulley in between kids and she sent the equipment down with nobody attached. So this happens sometimes and it's not really a big deal when it does, but it is a pain in the butt for staff because when
18:27 Speaker 03 a kid goes down the zip line, kind of like you were talking about physics, and their weight will take them back to a point in the zip line where I can reach them from the ground and unclip them. With no kid attached, the pulley and rope would get stuck at a point in the zip line that's just too high to reach from the ground.
18:43 Dax Shepard? Right, right.
18:44 Speaker 03 So usually when that happens, you would have to get a big stick to get the pulley back to where you could reach it. And ultimately, some kids would miss out on zip lining because of the time that it would take to get that equipment back to the beginning of the line. So there is a workaround to that issue, and it's to jump and catch the pulley at the sweet spot where you can reach it from the ground. So the pulley's zooming down the zip line, my friend Carla yells at me, "Hey, grab it!" So without thinking, I ran and I jumped. When I did, I tripped in my boots and I fell forward.
19:12 Dax Shepard? Oh.
19:13 Speaker 03 It happened so fast that I wasn't able to catch myself properly and I landed face first and my upper lip took the brunt of the fall. And I remember hearing a crunching noise.
19:22 Dax Shepard? Oh, can you tell me what the surface you were on was? Just like kind of dirt earth?
19:26 Speaker 03 It was rocks.
19:27 Speaker 01 Oh my God.
19:30 Dax Shepard? No, no, no, no, no.
19:40 Dax Shepard? This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing and Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skill set, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours, but at some point you're ready to put it out there and that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built-in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from,
20:23 Dax Shepard? I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We get support from Scottsdale, Arizona. Monica, with summer ending or heading into fall, I've been researching a nice quick getaway location and I keep coming back to Scottsdale, Arizona.
20:57 Speaker 01 Ooh, Scottsdale's good. What's drawing you to it?
20:59 Dax Shepard? Well, first of all, I have this wonderful memory of going there as a kid when I would go see my stepdad when he's working out there. The weather is perfect in fall, warm, sunny, no humidity, and you can really do whatever you want with your time there. I want to do a sunrise hike through the Sonoran Desert, be surrounded by Saguaro and then at the Same afternoon, just completely melt into a spa treatment at one of their luxury resorts.
21:24 Speaker 01 Oh, that sounds amazing. I want to do that. Also, I was there visiting my brother once and I loved Old Town Scottsdale. It's so walkable. They have galleries and cute little restaurants and shops. The food scene alone is worth the trip.
21:38 Dax Shepard? What I keep reading is that it's luxurious, but not stuffy. There's no pressure to do it a certain way. You can explore public art, check out the architecture, go off roading in the desert, or just sit and watch a sunset.
21:50 Speaker 01 It really is the perfect fall reset.
21:52 Dax Shepard? Learn more about all Scottsdale has to offer at unwindinscottsdale.com. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment, or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.
22:36 Speaker 01 You know, I love therapy more than anything. Gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.
22:47 Dax Shepard? You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it. And I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds once it's out into the world. You gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.
23:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, you do.
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23:52 Speaker 01 But you didn't fall into the apparatus, just into the ground.
23:56 Speaker 03 Just straight to the ground, yeah. An injury that happened near a zipline, but not a zipline.
24:00 Speaker 01 Okay, okay.
24:01 Dax Shepard? This is sometimes how ziplines get a bad name. It's like other injuries are happening.
24:05 Speaker 01 Nearby. The body will really betray us.
24:08 Dax Shepard? It will.
24:09 Speaker 01 You just trip and fall on your face. Like, it's so embarrassing.
24:12 Speaker 03 My upper lip took the brunt of this fall that I went through.
24:16 Dax Shepard? I'm seeing that you've sent a picture which scares me. I see it sitting. I'm not looking at it, it's turned over.
24:21 Speaker 01 I'm gonna look at it. Oh, I shouldn't have looked yet.
24:24 Dax Shepard? Okay.
24:26 Speaker 03 So getting up, I was convinced that I had knocked all of my teeth out. I held my hand in front of my mouth just in case I could catch some of the teeth because I had blood dripping from my mouth into my open hand. And as you might have guessed, the zipline was over for that day.
24:39 Dax Shepard? Shut it down.
24:39 Speaker 01 You ruined it.
24:41 Speaker 03 All my fault. Everyone very quickly realized I wasn't okay. My friend Jack was running rifles from the other side of camp and he was called to run me over to urgent care. So we left camp and when we got to urgent care, urgent care immediately said, just go to the hospital.
24:55 Dax Shepard? What was your reaction? Because mine would be embarrassment. And so I would be tempted to hide my crying. I probably wouldn't allow myself to cry. But what was your reaction? Were you screaming and crying or were you acting like nothing happened?
25:06 Speaker 03 I very clearly remember being asked while I was still on the ground, are you okay? And I had to think about it for a second and ultimately went, no.
25:14 Dax Shepard? Yeah, okay.
25:14 Speaker 01 Oh, good, I'm glad you said no.
25:16 Dax Shepard? You weren't.
25:17 Speaker 03 So the camp is in a pretty rural area. The closest hospital was able to give me some pain meds and a tetanus shot, which I remember being very impressed by the fact that I did not feel the tetanus shot at all because of the pain meds. And then they decided to send me in an ambulance to a more well-equipped hospital in Pittsburgh. Wasn't enough of an emergency to have the lights on, but I do now get to say that I've ridden in an ambulance. So that's kind of cool. At the new hospital, they told me that I had managed to break the bone above my top front teeth. So somehow I didn't break my nose.
25:46 Dax Shepard? Your maxilla?
25:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly.
25:48 Speaker 01 Oh, it's this here?
25:50 Dax Shepard? Yeah, right here.
25:51 Speaker 01 Oh, ow.
25:53 Speaker 03 Yeah, so somehow didn't lose any teeth when I fell. The picture that I sent you guys is a picture of the x-ray.
25:58 Speaker 01 Oh, the x-ray.
26:00 Dax Shepard? Let me see. Okay, let me check this out.
26:02 Speaker 03 So they fixed me up with some ugly yellow temporary braces that I had to wear for the whole summer to fix the broken bone. The original intention was that I was going to work that summer at that camp, but I ended up not being able to because it was just a little too broken. I eventually had to get root canals on my two front teeth.
26:19 Dax Shepard? Oh, no.
26:20 Speaker 03 I couldn't eat anything with the front of my mouth. So things like mozzarella sticks and sandwiches, I ate with a fork the whole summer.
26:26 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
26:27 Dax Shepard? Cut them up real tiny.
26:28 Speaker 03 All I wanted was a taco the whole summer.
26:30 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah. See, you gotta have something. You really want it.
26:33 Speaker 01 Are you still afraid to eat corn on the cob?
26:36 Speaker 03 Actually, no. I have told dentists after the accident, I said, hey, a little sensitive in the front. And they were like, but you got root canals. It shouldn't be sensitive in the front. I was like, emotionally?
26:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:47 Dax Shepard? Spiritually and emotionally.
26:50 Dax Shepard? What could they do for that broken bone? You can't put a cast on your maxilla. What are you gonna do? You just gotta kind of strap those teeth together and make them do the work?
26:57 Speaker 03 Right. I was a first year teacher at the time, so I had to take a whole week off of work. Super embarrassing coming back with those big, ugly braces, but I did and went through the rest of May and June.
27:08 Dax Shepard? Amanda, you would get a good boy award if you were around more because you're a teacher and a camp counselor.
27:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:15 Dax Shepard? And you had yellow braces. This is a lot of good boy stuff.
27:18 Speaker 01 You'll get the Jimmy Kimmel Best Boy.
27:20 Dax Shepard? Yeah, Best Boy. That's what I mean to say.
27:21 Speaker 03 Thank you. Also, since I was working when I got hurt, I didn't have to pay a penny for any of my medical costs.
27:27 Speaker 01 Oh, that's great.
27:28 Dax Shepard? That was probably a pricey ambulance ride.
27:29 Speaker 01 And all these root canals.
27:31 Speaker 03 The one last thing that I wanted to mention specifically to you, Monica, is the hospital that I went to is actually the hospital that the show The Pit is based off of.
27:40 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
27:41 Dax Shepard? Really?
27:42 Speaker 03 Yeah. So every time I watch the show, I think about the time that I broke my face and how I could totally be on the show.
27:48 Speaker 01 Oh, they should write you in season three.
27:51 Dax Shepard? Was your doctor a stone cold fox?
27:53 Speaker 03 I wish.
27:54 Dax Shepard? No, no, a wily.
27:55 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, that's so exciting. That's worth it.
27:58 Dax Shepard? Was it as chaotic in there as the show depicts?
28:01 Speaker 03 Actually, yes. Had me on a bed in a hallway for a period of time. I was like, this is just like the show.
28:07 Speaker 01 They said it's extremely realistic.
28:10 Dax Shepard? Watching the show, I'm like, if I showed up to that emergency room, I think I might go, I'd rather die.
28:14 Speaker 01 No.
28:15 Dax Shepard? Yeah, just take me outside. I think I'd rather die than be in here.
28:18 Speaker 01 No, not if Noah Wiley's there.
28:20 Dax Shepard? You gotta wait hours before you see him.
28:22 Speaker 01 And he's in his hoodie.
28:24 Dax Shepard? Yeah, he loves his hoodies. Dirty, filthy hoodie.
28:27 Speaker 01 That's cool. I love that tidbit.
28:29 Dax Shepard? She was right. All that talk about the pit, I finally watched it. She's right.
28:32 Speaker 01 Yay. I'm so happy to hear. This is the first time.
28:36 Dax Shepard? I wish you would have told me the entire series is just real time. That's such a cool part of it.
28:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's a huge part of it. It's the whole part, really.
28:44 Dax Shepard? It is the whole part. You go like, oh my God, yeah, they fucking deal with so much shit in one hour.
28:48 Speaker 01 I know.
28:49 Dax Shepard? Well, Amanda, I feel very lucky. I got to meet you. You're very, very sweet and I'm happy you're in the audience.
28:53 Speaker 01 Me too.
28:54 Speaker 03 This was very cool. I listen to Armchair Anonymous when I clean, so hello to future me mopping her floor.
29:00 Speaker 01 Oh, yes. Love that. Shout out to yourself.
29:04 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
29:05 Speaker 03 I am still friends with everyone who was working the zipline that day, including my friend Carla, who dropped the rope. But she introduced me to your podcast. Is it okay if she stops in to say hi?
29:14 Speaker 01 Of course.
29:15 Dax Shepard? Let's get her in here.
29:15 Speaker 03 I'm gonna give her my headphones.
29:16 Dax Shepard? She really fucked up.
29:19 Speaker 01 Oh, hi.
29:21 Dax Shepard? Nice to meet you. You really fucked up.
29:24 Speaker 05 Oh, I really did. I dropped the rope. It was a big time. It was all my fault. I still have a lot of guilt about it. My only saving grace is that I blame the rocks.
29:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:35 Dax Shepard? And can I ask you a question, Carla? Why aren't you on a sitcom?
29:38 Speaker 05 That's a great question. I've been wondering that my entire life. I was truly destined to be on a sitcom.
29:44 Speaker 01 I mean, time's not up.
29:46 Dax Shepard? No.
29:46 Speaker 01 You could still do it.
29:48 Speaker 05 I'm available if anybody wants to put me on a sitcom. She didn't mention that I was also her boss and had been for years.
29:55 Dax Shepard? Yeah, she might have had a lawsuit there.
29:57 Speaker 01 She's a best boy, so she's not gonna sue.
29:59 Dax Shepard? She won a best boy award today.
30:00 Speaker 05 She won lots of awards.
30:02 Dax Shepard? Well, nice meeting both of you.
30:04 Speaker 05 Thank you so much. We love the show so much.
30:06 Dax Shepard? Thank you. All right, take care.
30:08 Speaker 05 Bye bye.
30:09 Speaker 01 Fun.
30:10 Dax Shepard? She really is immediately funny.
30:12 Speaker 01 I guess email us, Warner Brothers.
30:14 Dax Shepard? Yeah, we'll connect you. All right, Amy, let's ask her if it's short for Amanda.
30:21 Speaker 01 You never know. That's weird that there's an Amy right now. That's Sim.
30:28 Dax Shepard? Simmy.
30:30 Speaker 06 Hello. I'm dying to know why it's weird that there's another Amy.
30:34 Speaker 01 Okay.
30:34 Dax Shepard? We were gonna tell you anyways, because we interviewed an Amanda and Monica thought that perhaps Amy was a shortened version.
30:41 Speaker 01 I just wonder.
30:42 Dax Shepard? I didn't think so, but you're Amy, so this is wonderful. You can clear this up.
30:46 Speaker 06 I don't think so. Maybe there's one though, so I shouldn't say that.
30:49 Speaker 01 There's gotta be one.
30:51 Dax Shepard? I think your better question is like, is there even a long form of Amy? I don't think so. Is there?
30:55 Speaker 06 No. And I used to feel very ripped off that I only got three letters. I just felt like that was not enough, I guess, to act. You can relate.
31:02 Dax Shepard? I'm opposite of you because I couldn't spell shit. I'm lazy. I don't want to write for a long time. So I was like, God bless. If I could get it down to two letters, that would be ideal.
31:10 Speaker 01 What's cool about Amy is it's three letters, but two syllables.
31:14 Speaker 06 You do get that little bonus. It's true. And top of the alphabet.
31:17 Dax Shepard? Amy, where are you?
31:18 Speaker 06 I'm in Ontario in Canada.
31:20 Dax Shepard? In London?
31:21 Speaker 06 I am in London.
31:21 Dax Shepard? Yeah. Where we went through our McDonald's bag out the window. Have you probably heard me say that before?
31:26 Speaker 06 Yes, I have.
31:27 Dax Shepard? Home of Rachel McAdams. Any other famous alumni?
31:30 Speaker 06 We have some Olympians. I guess I would consider them famous.
31:34 Dax Shepard? Hockey players?
31:35 Speaker 06 From London, maybe hockey players. Clearly I'm not up on the sports. I was gonna reference that my husband is from Windsor, so big like Detroit sports fans, but then I was scared that you'd ask me to talk about Detroit sports.
31:46 Dax Shepard? I would never. But we had a great armchair anonymous story from London about the guy on the skateboard beating up the person and she had to go testify.
31:56 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
31:56 Dax Shepard? It was a meet cute.
31:57 Speaker 06 As we're listening to that episode, I was texting my friend Lauren, who got me into armchair, and we were like, we know exactly what bar that happened at. We've all done that walk home. And I'm like, God, it is the most believable story I've ever heard.
32:08 Dax Shepard? Right. Least shocking story you could hear to come out of London. Okay, so you have a dental disaster story.
32:13 Speaker 06 This happened last year. So actually I just recently had the memories of some pictures that I'd sent and some texts that had popped up a year ago. But I think I'm very common in saying this, but I have a big fear of the dentist. Severe dental anxiety. My hands are like a bit sweaty right now thinking about, oh my God, I have to think about. Being at the dentist from when I was a kid, I feel like I was kind of gaslit into thinking that my mouth was frozen. It was not during a tooth extraction. So since then, I'm like, I don't trust you. I'm going to go for cleaning and that is it. Fortunately, I do have a new dentist in London, so things have been going pretty good with them. I go to the office, they have TVs on the ceiling.
32:48 Speaker 01 Oh, that's fun.
32:49 Speaker 06 A nature documentary, I've watched a Taylor Swift documentary.
32:52 Dax Shepard? What about getting the gas? A lot of places will give you the gas just for a cleaning.
32:55 Speaker 06 Oh, yeah, we get the gas.
32:56 Dax Shepard? Okay, great. Yeah, if you have a lot of anxiety about the dentist.
32:59 Speaker 06 That is definitely part of the story is the gas for an appointment. So I put my AirPods in, I have noise cancelling on. I'm basically like, I'm gonna lay here, wish for this to be over, and you just push me a little bit when I'm done.
33:11 Dax Shepard? You're gonna disassociate. You're like, I'm gonna go to another place.
33:14 Speaker 06 I'm not here. So my dentist does offer laughing gas. So if anyone has not had laughing gas, it basically is like a mask thing that goes over your nose, kind of is uncomfortable. You're breathing in a continuous mix of laughing gas and oxygen for most of your appointment. And I get it for a cleaning because I also hate cleanings. I want to feel like I just drank a bottle of wine or I smoked a joint. You kind of like melt into the chair. It's lovely.
33:37 Speaker 01 Why aren't we allowed to just like have that?
33:39 Dax Shepard? Oh, I used to do it recreationally.
33:40 Speaker 01 Really?
33:40 Dax Shepard? Yeah, you could go to this after-hours bar in Detroit and they had laughing gas balloons.
33:44 Speaker 06 This appointment that I was talking about last year was not a cleaning, though. It was actually an appointment to get a crown. So I was eating one of those hard suckers that have the gum in the middle and I cracked my tooth. Right when it happened, I was like, I don't actually care about the tooth. I care about the dentist's visits that are going to happen because of this stupid sucker. The appointment for the crown is a three-hour appointment. So a lot of dentists' offices will have two appointments. The first appointment, they kind of like shave your tooth down, they measure the crown, then you go on your way, and then you come back and get the crown fitted. My dentist, we're doing it all at once. We're gonna shave your tooth down, measure it, basically 3D print it while you're in the office. That's probably not the technical term, but that is how it was kind of described to me.
34:26 Speaker 06 So I knew that I was going into three-hour appointments, so my AirPods charge, wake up, I have my kind of work-from-home breakfast, which is ramen noodles, like three cups of coffee, very healthy breakfast, start my day.
34:37 Dax Shepard? Empty carbs and three cups of coffee.
34:39 Speaker 06 Yes, perfect. And like 2,000 milligrams sodium.
34:44 Speaker 06 It is important to note that my hair is naturally very curly, like ringlet tight curls. And I have it down that day because, you know, laying down ponytail, super annoying. I get dropped off because I knew I might not be feeling great after, so I want to get a ride after. So I get to my dentist's appointment and I feel like it's starting off pretty normal. What was a little weird is I had to remind them that I wanted laughing gas. They can accommodate me, so that's all good. So I get down and I'm laying on the chair. They kind of fit that nose thing over. I'm immediately inhaling it as if I'm like desperate oxygen. Because I'm like, how quick can it relax? Then they fit me for a dental dam, which I need immediately pause about how unfortunate the name dental dam is. Because it also just shares the name with an STI prevention for oral sex. It was not that.
35:27 Speaker 01 And why are they calling it?
35:28 Speaker 06 I don't know why they also have the same name, because when I tell that story, they're like, why is your dentist fitting you for oral sex prevention?
35:36 Dax Shepard? That's not comforting.
35:37 Speaker 06 This is like a blue sheet goes over your face. Your tooth is isolated. So imagine I'm laying down, my nose is covered from the laughing gas. My face is fully covered from the dental dam. Close my eyes, headphones on, getting through it, still trying to take as deep a breath as possible. And then the next thing I know, I pass out just in the chair, no notice. I've never fainted in my life. I didn't know what that feeling was. And I wake up and I am projectile vomiting everywhere, all over. And if you can imagine, I have a dental dam on.
36:05 Speaker 01 No.
36:06 Speaker 06 Puke cannot come forward. It is flying out of the sides of my mouth. I'm laying down, it's in my ears, it's in my hair. It hurts down my back.
36:16 Dax Shepard? Noodles and coffee.
36:17 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
36:19 Speaker 06 Yes, visible noodles and coffee.
36:22 Speaker 01 Why aren't they getting you up?
36:24 Speaker 06 So they're trying to tilt me up and it's one of those chairs that they're like, err. It's never as fast as you want it to be. They're taking things out of my mouth and they're like, did you know you were going to pass out? Did you eat today? And I'm like, I clearly ate today. It is all over you. I can see a noodle on your shoulder. I can see a noodle over there. You know, those suction tools at the dentist's that suck up like blood and spit? They are actually not made for noodles.
36:47 Dax Shepard? No, it's not going to work. You're going to clog that in a second.
36:49 Speaker 06 So I clogged it in a second, exactly as predicted. And I didn't just clog it for my treatment room, but the machine clogged for the whole office.
36:57 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it's got a central vacuum attached to it.
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38:46 Speaker 06 So, the reason I know it clogged for the whole office is because what I did not mention is my dentist's office is open concept.
38:53 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
38:54 Dax Shepard? Wait, first of all, no.
38:56 Speaker 06 You walk in, there's a reception desk, and then imagine like a central island, almost like a room divider, but with separate alcoves coming off of that divider. No doors. It's fully open.
39:06 Speaker 01 Why? That's a bad idea.
39:09 Speaker 06 So if like a kid is crying, someone's screaming, you'd hear it. If someone is throwing up...
39:14 Speaker 01 You have anxiety there.
39:16 Dax Shepard? It's like getting dental surgery in the middle of the mall.
39:18 Speaker 06 Yes, everyone is immediately like their suction has stopped. What is going on? They're smelling puke. I'm still covered in the puke. So that machine is like getting dealt with while my dentist is talking to me about, you know, you're not supposed to eat before laughing gas, but because I had forgot to mention that I wanted it, they did not call me the day before.
39:38 Speaker 06 Don't eat.
39:38 Dax Shepard? Comedy of errors.
39:39 Speaker 06 I get up, like you're kind of stumbling after laughing gas. I have to do a mini walk of shame to the bathroom, past all these open rooms. Go in the bathroom. I have my shirt off. I wore a white T-shirt that day, which is so lovely. Washing it in the sink. I'm like washing my noodle hair in the sink, which is literally the same texture as the ramen noodles.
40:02 Speaker 06 I am furiously texting my fiance, being like, you need to bring me a T-shirt. I cannot sit in this. But I'm just being like, I just have to rinse off, go out there, get my shit and go home. So I go out there and my dentist reminds me that you can't leave because we have to finish your crown appointment. The crown has started curing. It's not like a go home and come back later. It's sit for an hour and a half rest of your appointment.
40:25 Dax Shepard? Well, he had a lot of stick to it.
40:27 Speaker 06 Send me home with the crown and I'll figure out how to do it myself. Please, I'm begging you.
40:32 Dax Shepard? And they're probably now nervous to give you the gas again.
40:35 Speaker 06 I rejected the gas. I'm kind of like looking around for my AirPods, being like, oh my God, I just have to like white knuckle, get through this. Can't find them, of course. While laying back, the AirPods, covered in puke, fell out. Onto the ground in the puke. They got scooped in the garbage. So now I'm digging through my own.
40:52 Speaker 06 Fishing out my AirPods so I can listen to my emo playlist.
40:58 Speaker 06 It is horrible. AirPods are wiped off. I'm like, I don't care about my clothes today. They're getting wiped off. My fiance has texted me saying, I can't leave work. Until I'm ready to pick you up. So, so sorry. See you when I see you. I'll bring a towel.
41:10 Dax Shepard? The theme of this story should have been suck it up.
41:15 Speaker 01 Also, the sucking of the thing.
41:16 Dax Shepard? Yeah, the fiance is like suck it up. So it's, I can't get off work.
41:19 Speaker 06 So yes, I basically just sat through the rest of my appointment, paid and got in the car and then yeah. Had to drive with the windows down the whole time for the rest of the drive. And then I have not had laughing gas since.
41:30 Speaker 01 Wow, this is also a good cautionary tale, though. Do not eat before laughing gas. I didn't know that.
41:35 Dax Shepard? Have you never had it, Monica?
41:36 Speaker 01 So at my Botox person, it's called something, but whatever.
41:40 Dax Shepard? An esthetician?
41:40 Speaker 01 They have it there.
41:41 Dax Shepard? Pronouns.
41:42 Speaker 01 You like suck on it with your mouth and I'm not good at it. I keep trying to do it and I'm not really inhaling it right or doing it right.
41:49 Dax Shepard? You gotta really suck on it like your life depends on it.
41:51 Speaker 01 Good job. So no, I've never had it.
41:53 Dax Shepard? And then when you're super high and they ask if you can feel it, you say it, no.
41:57 Speaker 01 I'm good.
41:57 Speaker 06 No, I didn't even know you turned it on yet, to be honest.
42:00 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
42:01 Dax Shepard? Okay, that's not good advice. I don't want anyone to assume you don't ever.
42:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, don't do that.
42:05 Dax Shepard? Always be honest. If you see, do you feel it? You say yes.
42:08 Speaker 01 I did not feel it, so I guess it would have been fine.
42:10 Dax Shepard? We're so opposite. I mean, isn't that the most quintessential example of how different we are? Like, you're not even feeling it, but you're not asking for more. I'm feeling it. I'm like, guys, where is it?
42:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly.
42:20 Speaker 06 I think it's also like maybe someone doesn't need three hours of laughing gas.
42:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's too much.
42:24 Speaker 06 My previous appointments were like 30 minutes. This was an hour and a half of like nitrous.
42:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, I kind of feel like they fucked up a little bit. They should have been monitoring a little bit, like how much laughing gas is being consumed.
42:35 Dax Shepard? I don't want to blame them because I want people to have easy access.
42:37 Speaker 06 I blame myself. I probably could have.
42:39 Dax Shepard? Had a better breakfast.
42:43 Speaker 06 Could have gone somewhere that had doors also.
42:45 Dax Shepard? I mean, you might as well just eat in like a notebook of paper.
42:50 Speaker 06 I have been back to the dentist. They obviously very respectful, did not say anything, but you know, the second I left, they're like, what the fuck?
42:57 Dax Shepard? To deal with that suction device, can they reverse the direction of the air and like blow out all this shit that got sucked in?
43:04 Speaker 01 This is horrible. I hate this.
43:05 Dax Shepard? And then just shooting noodles everywhere.
43:12 Speaker 06 Cautionary tale, near death experience, all of it.
43:14 Dax Shepard? That was delightful, Amy. I really liked it. Because most people we've talked to have been getting their teeth knocked out and I hate that.
43:20 Speaker 06 That's what I thought and I did truthfully read the prompt as dentist disasters. So a friend was like, I don't know if dentist is the same as dental. And then I was like, I read this wrong.
43:30 Dax Shepard? No, listen, everyone needs to play it fast and loose. If you've got a good. Story that's even adjacent to the prom?
43:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:36 Dax Shepard? Fucking submit it.
43:37 Speaker 01 Also, you wouldn't have been picked if it wasn't good.
43:40 Speaker 06 That's a great way to look at it.
43:42 Dax Shepard? We are two for two for Londonites telling us great stories.
43:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, keep them coming, Londoners.
43:47 Dax Shepard? It's been a while since I've thrown the trash out the window there. I gotta make a mental note to
43:51 Speaker 01 head on back.
43:51 Dax Shepard? Yeah, since it's been too long.
43:53 Speaker 06 Perfect. We can't wait. I'll keep an eye out for it.
43:56 Speaker 01 Thanks for chatting with us.
43:57 Dax Shepard? Yeah, lovely meeting you.
43:58 Speaker 06 Thanks so much. Lovely meeting you both.
44:00 Dax Shepard? All right, take care.
44:01 Speaker 06 Bye.
44:02 Dax Shepard? Bye. Let's talk to your friend.
44:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, Elizabeth is joining us.
44:07 Dax Shepard? Elizabeth.
44:08 Speaker 01 Elizabeth Lane.
44:11 Speaker 01 Elizabeth.
44:13 Speaker 05 Hi, guys.
44:15 Speaker 01 I forgot that this was happening until I saw your name on the sheet today.
44:19 Speaker 05 I was gonna text you, I'll see you, but I didn't know if that was going through back channels that weren't allowed.
44:25 Speaker 01 You're a good rule follower.
44:26 Dax Shepard? I would have been like, well, that violated how this works, Monica. We can no longer do it ethically. The only thing that sucks about this, Elizabeth, is normally I'd ask where you're at. I know where you're at. You're like three miles down the road.
44:35 Speaker 05 Yeah.
44:36 Dax Shepard? I'd go, oh, Elizabeth, you go by Betsy. I know you don't go by Betsy.
44:39 Speaker 01 No.
44:41 Speaker 05 I was thinking, because Monica's obviously listened to the podcast, she might have heard some dental stuff. I've shared a story. I had this dentist who pressed his dick against my arm every time I went in.
44:52 Speaker 01 My.
44:53 Dax Shepard? Was he wearing scrubs?
44:55 Speaker 05 No, he was wearing slacks.
44:57 Dax Shepard? Oh.
44:57 Speaker 01 Trousers.
44:59 Speaker 05 And I continued to go to him for years because he did great work. And it was just the price of entry.
45:05 Speaker 06 Sometimes you have to make hard choices.
45:07 Dax Shepard? Did you determine it was accidental or intentional? Because my hunch is if it was intentional, it would get hard.
45:14 Speaker 05 Well, that's interesting. And now I'm feeling a little self-conscious.
45:18 Speaker 01 Don't do that to Elizabeth. She's gonna feel not cute.
45:20 Dax Shepard? No, no, no. But if your kink is like, oh, I love rubbing my dick on people's arms, clearly he would become aroused. Now I'm acting as his lawyer in the defense case. I'm like, well, my client's penis never became erect. So how can you claim this is his kink?
45:32 Speaker 01 How do we know it didn't, though? It might have.
45:33 Speaker 05 I'd like to think it did. And he just was dealing with some blood pressure.
45:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course.
45:39 Speaker 05 Wait, you guys, I'm so sorry, but my audio recording for quick time.
45:44 Dax Shepard? You're supposed to be a professional.
45:45 Speaker 01 I know. You are a professional.
45:46 Dax Shepard? But luckily, it's sounding so good on our end that it'll be fine.
45:50 Speaker 01 It's fault. Yeah, let's blame Andy. Why aren't you in the studio?
45:53 Speaker 05 Cause Andy's in there working hard on best.
45:56 Speaker 01 Oh shit. Couldn't take the time.
46:00 Dax Shepard? Hold on, that was all orchestrated and it was done seamlessly. Why aren't you in the studio? Oh, cause Andy's, why is he using it? Cause best dead, which comes out on October 30th.
46:12 Speaker 01 Okay, dental.
46:13 Dax Shepard? It's gonna top the guy rubbing his dick on your arm?
46:15 Speaker 05 This is much, much more sinister.
46:17 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay, okay.
46:18 Speaker 05 No, I'm just kidding. So I was about seven or eight years old. I lived at the time in East Bay, San Francisco. I moved pretty soon after this to St. Louis. So that plays a part in the mystery that surrounds this lore. I was at a slumber party and it was the first one with a lot of girls who I didn't know.
46:38 Dax Shepard? That's pretty young for a slumber party. You have kids, I have kids.
46:41 Speaker 05 We don't actually do them because in part of this and some other stuff that happens, we don't need to get into that.
46:47 Speaker 01 But they're called something now, right? What is that thing where you go and you come home?
46:51 Speaker 05 Asleep under. I had a vibe there. First of all, I was like, oh, these people are rich because they had two stories in their house and I didn't even know that was a possibility. We were in the downstairs area and it was a bunch of girls I didn't know and I was feeling very insecure and it was time to go to sleep and we all lined up our sleeping bags around a pool table.
47:13 Dax Shepard? Oh, so this is the rec room.
47:14 Speaker 01 They are obviously.
47:15 Dax Shepard? They have enough square footage for a rec room.
47:17 Speaker 05 I was like, are we in Clue right now with the billiard room?
47:21 Dax Shepard? Was it wood panel?
47:22 Speaker 05 I'm sure there was wood paneling. It was definitely that vibe. I'm out of my element. I go to sleep and there was also some sort of mean girl stuff going on. And I was just like, I just want to get home, but I'm gonna tough it out. And I wake up in the middle of the night with warm goo on my face and a mom screaming at me, but I can't hear her. Then the lights go on and I realized the goo on my face is blood and I start trying to talk and I'm like crunching something. And I realize in my mind, I had bit a pool ball, but it was actually my four front teeth were shattered because a pool ball.
48:07 Speaker 05 In the middle of the night.
48:09 Dax Shepard? No.
48:09 Speaker 05 Had jumped the lip of the pool table somehow and landed on my nose and mouth.
48:14 Dax Shepard? Because some kids were playing with the pool balls?
48:17 Speaker 01 That's the mystery.
48:18 Dax Shepard? Or there's a.
48:19 Speaker 01 I have my own theory about this.
48:21 Speaker 05 I am welcoming all theories because I never found out what happened. By the way, my parents had me in orthodontia. I have a picture of me in a headgear at Disneyland when I was six. They had worked really hard on these puppies.
48:35 Speaker 01 You have great teeth.
48:36 Speaker 05 Thank you.
48:37 Speaker 01 You do.
48:38 Speaker 05 They didn't fix the nose, but the teeth I got fixed and I remembered my dentist was a classmate's dad. So that's kind of one line I could have if I really ever decided to look into this, but no one knows what happened. Why in the middle of the night, a pool ball landed squarely on the middle of my little face? Now it could be a ghost.
49:01 Dax Shepard? No, wait, hold on. I gotta add something. This is my issue with the story. Why is the mom waking you up and aware that this all happened? You're not screaming.
49:10 Speaker 05 I think I was.
49:11 Speaker 01 In pain without knowing.
49:12 Dax Shepard? Okay. So I'm like, she just happened to be looking at you and this happened. Cause then I'm like, then the mom did it.
49:18 Speaker 01 Oh, right. Munchausen?
49:21 Dax Shepard? Yes, psycho.
49:22 Speaker 05 She was like, this little bitch.
49:24 Speaker 01 Yeah. She was mean to my daughter.
49:26 Speaker 05 Can you imagine though, having a sleepover and waking up and some kid has their face smashed from your billiards table?
49:34 Dax Shepard? No, I'm like, okay, we just lost the house. For sure. This family's suing and they're gonna win.
49:40 Speaker 01 But you know, my theory is that there was likely a pet in that house, most likely a cat.
49:50 Dax Shepard? My God.
49:51 Speaker 01 This makes so, you guys, I can't believe.
49:53 Dax Shepard? You could spend the rest of your life trying to train a cat to pick up a pool ball and you would fail.
49:56 Speaker 01 Not pick up. They just were scurrying across the pool table. They knocked it over. Yeah. They knocked it. It fell over the lip.
50:04 Dax Shepard? Did they have a lot of cats, Elizabeth?
50:06 Speaker 05 I don't recall any felines there, but that's not crazier than like a ghost.
50:10 Speaker 01 Oh, what?
50:12 Dax Shepard? It's adjacent though.
50:13 Speaker 01 I know you're very pro cats and this is a hard conversation to have.
50:17 Dax Shepard? Well, that's what I think is funny is you just map on whatever thing you're afraid of. You're like, well, it's definitely a dog or a cat. It was a cat, but it was a lion. That's what I'm afraid of.
50:26 Speaker 05 And I'm like, the mom didn't like my look.
50:28 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:30 Speaker 01 Exactly.
50:32 Speaker 05 But it probably was a little sociopath kid who in the middle of the night, and I'd like to think that she didn't really realize the damage that would happen and thought a pool ball was softer.
50:44 Dax Shepard? Yeah. And just dropped it on your face to see what happened?
50:47 Speaker 01 Or threw it or something.
50:48 Dax Shepard? I think they might have been horsing around. You know, when you're a kid and you're playing pool with your hand, you're just trying to get it in.
50:53 Speaker 05 Being stupid.
50:54 Dax Shepard? You're pushing too hard and then they pop off the table. That's the most generous explanation is it was a game injury.
51:01 Speaker 05 Girls being girls.
51:02 Dax Shepard? Ah, girls being girls.
51:03 Speaker 01 Girls being girls, cats being cats.
51:05 Speaker 05 It's really haunted me because I can't whiten my teeth because those four teeth just stay the stained color that they are unless I want to redo all of them. So it's been such a burden.
51:17 Dax Shepard? Wait, why? Okay. So you wake up, you got, you're covered in blood and then how do we treat this?
51:23 Speaker 05 They put, it's not veneers, but it's a crown type thing on these four teeth.
51:29 Speaker 01 Bonding, kind of?
51:31 Speaker 05 I think it is bonding.
51:32 Speaker 01 Oh, bonding is not very sturdy. I've had it twice and it falls off.
51:36 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it's like patching a hole in a wall with the plaster repair. So you go in there and they just kind of shape willy nilly with that stuff.
51:43 Speaker 05 Yes. Honestly, Benji's dad did a great job because they lasted a very long time. And then it's just every 10 years or so, I gotta go in and have them popped back on.
51:54 Dax Shepard? If you had incidents where you bite into something and half your front teeth crack off?
51:58 Speaker 05 Yes. And so now you know why I was willing to put up with what I'm going to call a semi hard dick pressing up against my arm.
52:06 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
52:07 Dax Shepard? A chub, we would call it. That's fully committed.
52:09 Speaker 05 I need a specialty dental experience.
52:12 Speaker 01 Right. But your teeth are very, very white. We were just talking about white teeth earlier today. And I actually, I thought in my head, Elizabeth has white teeth. I noticed it a lot.
52:20 Speaker 05 That is so nice.
52:22 Dax Shepard? No, yeah, yeah. Beautiful teeth. You'd have no idea that you were assaulted with a pool ball at a sleepover. But, cause you're so game and I like this rivulet of conversation. So you felt that Dennis's penis on your arm a bunch of times. Do you ever feel in a massage, someone's groin on your elbow?
52:40 Speaker 05 I have never. And I'm like.
52:41 Speaker 01 You're like, where is it?
52:43 Speaker 05 Yeah. I feel like that's the place.
52:46 Dax Shepard? What happened?
52:46 Speaker 01 Well, you've been for real assaulted.
52:49 Speaker 05 I have.
52:53 Dax Shepard? Monica.
52:54 Speaker 01 Sorry. You've been on one really extreme end. So maybe the dentist felt like, oh, I just wanted you to remember that.
53:02 Speaker 05 Thanks, Monica.
53:04 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. We are sorry that that happened to you with the pool ball.
53:07 Dax Shepard? Well, Elizabeth, this has been delightful. This is a little taste of the beautiful chemistry you'll hear on Beth's Dead if you're not already consuming it.
53:15 Speaker 01 That's right. I have a friend who I sent the preview link to. She's in.
53:20 Dax Shepard? You got her.
53:20 Speaker 05 The feedback has been so awesome. Hopefully everyone checks it out.
53:24 Dax Shepard? Have you begun yacht shopping yet?
53:27 Speaker 05 I might get a second story someday.
53:30 Dax Shepard? A rec room.
53:31 Speaker 05 Oh, a rec room.
53:33 Speaker 01 The dream.
53:33 Dax Shepard? Stinky. People smoke cigars in rec rooms.
53:36 Speaker 05 There are always stories coming out of rec rooms.
53:38 Speaker 01 Maybe we could do a whole prompt.
53:40 Dax Shepard? Rec rooms.
53:40 Speaker 01 Rec room stories.
53:42 Dax Shepard? I feel like that gal that was humping her teddy bear to the movie was in a rec room.
53:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, probably.
53:47 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
53:48 Speaker 05 Most first sexual experiences in the Midwest take place in a rec room.
53:53 Dax Shepard? Or a wood paneled basement as well.
53:55 Speaker 01 In the South, too.
53:56 Dax Shepard? That's where all the good times go. All right, we could do this all day. We love you.
54:00 Speaker 05 Love you, guys. Thank you so much. This was so fun.
54:02 Speaker 01 Bye.
54:03 Dax Shepard? Bye. What a delight. She should go into podcasting.
54:08 Speaker 01 She should have met podcast.
54:09 Dax Shepard? She should go into podcasting for 10 years.
54:10 Speaker 01 20.
54:11 Dax Shepard? No.
54:12 Speaker 01 Not 20, but Totally Lame was when I moved. 15 years.
54:16 Dax Shepard? 15 years.
54:17 Speaker 01 Bing.
54:18 Dax Shepard? All right.
54:18 Speaker 01 That was fun.
54:19 Dax Shepard? I'm gonna go out with a saying that my father said to every child he ever met. Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.
54:28 Speaker 07 Do you want to sing a tune or something? We know the theme song.
54:30 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, rhyme dish. On the fly, rhyme dish. Enjoy.
54:55 Dax Shepard? We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if your alarm is actually set before you go to bed. You could have sworn you set it, even remember looking at your phone. But apparently, looking at it and pressing the button are two different things. Because now you're waking up to sunlight and panic. Yeah, checking first always makes sense. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
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