Pod Insights Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard Armchair Anonymous: Babysitting II About this episode Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a bad babysitting experience.
Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript 12,066 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Dax Shepard? Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Sharon Beekman. Thank you, Sharon.
0:06 Speaker 01 Hello, it's me, Karen.
0:08 Dax Shepard? Karen Beekman, filling in for Monica, away on family business. Today, we have crazy babysitting stories.
0:16 Speaker 01 Some real good ones.
0:17 Dax Shepard? Really good ones. Don't think that this is gonna be cutesy time, eating pizza and being bored. These get wild.
0:24 Speaker 01 Crazy.
0:24 Dax Shepard? Crazy. Please enjoy crazy babysitting stories. We get support from Quince.
0:32 Speaker 02 I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.
0:41 Dax Shepard? I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince, because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.
1:03 Speaker 02 $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen, and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.
1:21 Dax Shepard? The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time, and he looks iconic.
1:30 Speaker 02 It's a uniform.
1:31 Dax Shepard? Mm-hmm.
1:32 Speaker 02 And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel-quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully-designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home, too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.
1:50 Dax Shepard? Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns, now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that, too.
2:26 Speaker 02 That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop, cold water every morning before anything else.
2:38 Dax Shepard? AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.
2:52 Speaker 02 That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.
2:56 Dax Shepard? It's an easy, everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know, mm, I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.
3:07 Speaker 02 Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.
3:14 Dax Shepard? Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega three fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax. And after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Experts sent you.
3:58 Dax Shepard? Stephanie?
3:59 Speaker 03 Stephanie, yes.
4:00 Dax Shepard? Oh, are you in the medical industry?
4:03 Speaker 03 I am.
4:04 Dax Shepard? Okay, so much to go through. Love your earrings. I see some instruments behind you. What capacity do you work at the doctor?
4:09 Speaker 03 I'm a nurse and I teach nursing at a school of nursing. So this is actually a simulated lab. I thought you would appreciate this simulation in progress.
4:20 Dax Shepard? It's always in progress though, isn't it?
4:21 Speaker 03 Yes.
4:21 Dax Shepard? Am I being clear enough that I love nurses?
4:24 Speaker 03 That was honestly part of the reason why I was like, I think I should do this in somewhere, but it makes it obvious that I'm a nurse.
4:31 Dax Shepard? Erin, do you love nurses?
4:32 Speaker 01 Of course.
4:33 Dax Shepard? Yeah, how do they do it?
4:34 Speaker 01 I have no idea.
4:36 Speaker 03 We're the best. We can be a little dark sometimes, so.
4:38 Dax Shepard? But always really funny because of that. Call it what it is, like the amount of duty and blood and yawn that you guys have to deal with. You seem to do it without being ruffled at all. There's like Navy SEALs and you guys are like tied.
4:52 Dax Shepard? Okay, so you have a babysitting story. First of all, are you excited Best Friend Erin Weekly sitting in today?
4:57 Speaker 03 I'm so excited. I was not expecting that.
4:59 Dax Shepard? Oh yeah, sorry, I'm filling in today.
5:00 Speaker 03 I love it. So yeah, I have two kiddos, a daughter who's 11 and a son who's nine, and we'll call them spirited. Some may say feral, but you know, they're a party.
5:12 Dax Shepard? That's my kind of kids.
5:13 Speaker 03 They need a good sitter. Sometimes it's not always easy to find a solid one. To give you a little backstory, because this will all kind of come around, we have a small cabin up at the base of Mount Adams in a small little town that we go to on the weekends in Trout Lake, Washington. So it's about 30 minutes from Hood River, actually.
5:31 Dax Shepard? Oh.
5:32 Speaker 03 We spend a lot of weekends up there in the summer, especially.
5:35 Dax Shepard? It's on fire about half the time, yeah?
5:37 Speaker 03 A little bit, yeah.
5:38 Dax Shepard? Increasingly so.
5:40 Speaker 03 And so we were there over the summer, kind of right before the kids were going back to school, and this cat started hanging around our house, which isn't unusual in Trout Lake, because I grew up there. People have a lot of cats and they hang around and they're always usually indoor/outdoor cats. But this cat was really clinging on to us and we were kind of falling in love with it. It was coming around pretty much every weekend we were there. And then my mom, who lives next door, was feeding it when we weren't there. So eventually, we were like, let's just take the cat. My mom's like, just take it. No one owns it. So we take the cat and we were pretty happy with the cat. We bring the cat back to Washougal where we live. The week that we bring this
6:22 Speaker 03 cat back coincides with the week that we've started this new babysitter. We got her through my husband's nephew. So his adult nephew had a fiance who was like, hey, I'm not busy for these couple of weeks. I'd love to help out. We just needed her for two weeks. So we kind of knew her. We'd met her at a few family functions. We just didn't know her really well, but she seemed super great with kids. Kids seemed to really love her. I was like, great. She comes and it's a bit of chaotic scene when she arrives, which isn't unusual, you know, with my children. One kid's crying, the cat's missing in the house, and I'm like, I gotta go. I felt a little bad, but she was so amazing. Like, she walked in and she was like... I love animals. I'm a vet tech. She was like, I got this. You go to work.
7:06 Speaker 03 And I haven't ever had a sitter say that to me, like, you go. I got this. So I was like, wow. When I left, I said, hey, if you guys go out today, can you pick up some kitty litter? Because we didn't have any kitty litter for the cat. So at noon, my daughter FaceTimes me. I step out of my class because she doesn't normally FaceTime me in the middle of the day. She's so excited because she's at the mall. And I was like, oh, okay. It's a little weird. I didn't know you were going to the mall, but all right. We don't live close to the mall. We're like probably 30 minutes away from the mall. So I was like, it's a little odd. I can see my son in the background on one of those bungee
7:46 Speaker 03 things, you know, in the food court area. My son's like in the background and she's like, we're having so much fun. She just wanted to tell me that. So hang up. I'm like, that was kind of strange that she didn't tell me she was gonna take the kids to the mall. But I can overlook it. I needed her. She seemed really great. She was like 22.
8:02 Dax Shepard? Beggars can't be choosers.
8:03 Speaker 03 Right. This was very last minute thing. It's like, it's fine. So then fast forward to me driving home and my husband was getting home before me. So I knew he was gonna pay her for the day and send her off and then I was gonna be home later. So I text her on my way and I'm like, hey, thanks so much for today. Let me know what I owe you for the cat litter. This is what time I need you tomorrow. She responds back and she's like, we had such an awesome day. The kids were so much fun. We ended up spending about $340. I can give you the receipts.
8:32 Dax Shepard? Oh, my, what? How many times did your kid ride that fucking bouncy court?
8:37 Speaker 03 Three. And so I was driving and I was like, maybe she meant $40. I'm gonna deal with this when I get home. So I get home. My husband had had a rough day. He owns a concrete finishing business. So he'd had a long day. He kind of did like a man cave thing, went into his room, turned on a football game, poured a beer. So I come home and the kids are out like playing with the cat. And I'm noticing like a lot of things in my house, a lot of cat toys that I didn't own. A very elaborate princess cat bed, a leash and a collar and a harness. Like taking this all in, I'm like, Kenz, why? A harness and a leash and she goes, I don't know. The babysitter said we needed it. I'm just like looking around and seeing toys. And then each kid has a very large bag of candy.
9:20 Dax Shepard? It's like on those shopping marker sweepstakes. It's like they got to fill up a cart. It sounds like.
9:25 Speaker 03 They sure did. I'm just sort of like, okay, I'm sure Kevin knows about this because he would have lost it. So I go into the bedroom like, did you notice any of the stuff out there? And he's like, what stuff?
9:37 Dax Shepard? Man cave, beer, football.
9:41 Dax Shepard? I noticed the tight end is injured.
9:44 Speaker 03 I love you, Kevin.
9:45 Dax Shepard? We have a cat.
9:48 Dax Shepard? What fucking cat are you talking about?
9:50 Speaker 03 I said, do you talk to the sitter about their trip to the mall today? And he was like, no. And I was like, did she tell you how much they spent? He was like, no, I just paid her for the day. She said you were paying her for the cat litter. And I said, have they spent $340 at the mall today? And I thought he was gonna have a stroke. We're sitting in there trying to figure out like, what are we gonna do? We've dealt with a lot of things with babysitters, but this was a first for us. And she's family, kind of. So we're like, what do we do? He texts her and he's like, hey, Stephanie let me know that you guys spent $340. That's about 300 more dollars than we were planning on spending today. Can you take some of this stuff back?
10:29 Dax Shepard? Okay, great, great, great.
10:30 Speaker 03 And she was like, well, I wasn't there when they opened it, so I don't even know what can be taken back. She got pretty defensive. There was like 24 to 48 hours of some pretty strange texting that went on.
10:42 Dax Shepard? And does the cousin hop on on a side chat?
10:45 Speaker 03 Well, no, she included him in a group text to both of us. He won't answer his phone.
10:50 Dax Shepard? Yeah, good for him.
10:51 Speaker 03 My husband's like really good at resolving conflict, so he was like, I'm just gonna call him and talk to him on the phone. They wouldn't answer. I interviewed the kids separately because I'm like, I need to know what happened today. And they both had the same story and my son would throw my daughter under the bus any chance he got. So I do believe the story. They were headed out and my daughter's like, hey, we need to get cat litter. So the sitter was like, why don't we just go to PetSmart? And they were like, okay, so they go to PetSmart and they spent $214 was the receipt that I got for PetSmart. And then my daughter wanted to go to Ulta. She said, can I go to Ulta and get a bath bomb? Cause she had some money on her card. So the sitter's like, why don't we
11:35 Speaker 03 just go to the mall? Took them to the mall and she just like went for it. And then the kicker for me was at the end, what she ended up saying to me in the text was, I wrote it down because I saved all these text messages. She said, from the beginning, your kids should have been given cash or a limit of money to spend. And I said, if I would have known you were taking them to the mall, I would have done that. I didn't know we were going on a field trip. Needless to say, we did not ask her to come back because we were going to be broke. So if she came back again, the kids were like, we loved her. We thought she was great.
12:12 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah.
12:13 Speaker 03 But the real salt in the wound was at the very end, a couple of days later, my mom calls me and she's like, I have some bad news. The cat has a home.
12:24 Dax Shepard? Oh, no. The owner's looking for the cat.
12:28 Speaker 03 Yeah. So we had to take Princess back.
12:31 Dax Shepard? And did you give the owners all this bullshit that the babysitter bought?
12:34 Speaker 03 I didn't, no.
12:38 Speaker 03 But my husband felt really bad because we were all really upset because we'd really connected with this cat. So we got a kitten out of the deal.
12:45 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay. Well, that kind of worked out. He's smart. He's like, I'm gonna give him this kitten. I'm gonna go back to my cave.
12:53 Dax Shepard? Have you spent any time trying to get into the psychology? Cause my thought is like, oh, this woman's like a shopaholic. She couldn't even resist on this day of babysitting. And then how has this impacted the cousin's relationship with her, if at all?
13:06 Speaker 03 We don't really know yet because this was pretty recent. This was like right at the end of August. We haven't seen the family since then. So I don't think we're going to be invited to their wedding, but we'll see them at Christmas, probably.
13:20 Dax Shepard? If you get invited to the wedding, I beg you to wrap up all those cat toys and make that the present.
13:25 Speaker 01 Or just a note that says we're even.
13:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're even.
13:28 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I was gonna give you three forty, but we're even.
13:31 Speaker 03 That's a great idea. I did think a lot about the psychology of it, especially as a nurse. I was like, there's something else going on here.
13:37 Speaker 01 There's no way in hell she thought that was okay.
13:41 Speaker 03 Right. Cause like, this wasn't even like a teenager. This is like a 22 year old.
13:45 Dax Shepard? Now, let me ask you this. Is she from a well to do family? Is she used to like, when she went anywhere or she got whatever she wanted, maybe?
13:51 Speaker 03 We ran through all these scenarios too. Where did she get the idea that this would have been okay? Did she nanny for somebody before that this was just normal? But we never really got to the bottom of it because nobody was really like giving us any information about her.
14:07 Dax Shepard? This is such a stupid story.
14:09 Speaker 03 Right?
14:10 Dax Shepard? This is like the adjective that best describes it's like, so stupid. Why'd she do that?
14:14 Speaker 01 Day one.
14:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, people didn't believe us. They were like, this would only happen to you guys. Like, I know.
14:19 Dax Shepard? Oh, well, Stephanie, that's delightful for us and not for you. It's so nice meeting you.
14:25 Speaker 03 Yes, you too. I just have to have a quick shout out to my bestie Shanna because we're arm cherries together. We went to your Portland show. She has been my bestie since I was four years old. She was the first gal at my birthday party and probably one of the last. And we're headed to Vegas in two days with our awesome group of friends.
14:43 Dax Shepard? Isn't a lifetime best friend literally the greatest gift a human can receive?
14:46 Speaker 03 They're the best. Yeah.
14:48 Speaker 01 Let's go to Vegas then.
14:49 Dax Shepard? Well, let's meet them in Vegas.
14:50 Speaker 03 Yep, we'll be there on Friday for her husband Bass's 40th birthday. Happy birthday, Bass.
14:55 Dax Shepard? Bass, shout out. We'll stop there en route to our boyfriend trip to North Carolina. I could stop, but you would really be going out of your way.
15:04 Dax Shepard? All right. Well, lovely meeting you, Stephanie.
15:05 Speaker 03 Thank you too. It was nice to meet both of you. Thank you.
15:09 Dax Shepard? All right, take care.
15:09 Speaker 03 Bye.
15:11 Dax Shepard? Kate?
15:12 Speaker 04 Hi.
15:13 Dax Shepard? How are you?
15:14 Speaker 04 I'm great. How are you today?
15:15 Dax Shepard? Good. We have a surprise for you, best friend. Erin Weekly is here.
15:18 Speaker 04 Hello, Erin Weekly. How are you?
15:21 Speaker 01 I'm filling in today.
15:22 Speaker 04 Oh, I hope Monica is okay.
15:24 Speaker 01 I'm here in a professional capacity.
15:26 Dax Shepard? Yes, there's nothing fun about what he's doing.
15:29 Speaker 01 No.
15:29 Dax Shepard? It's all business.
15:32 Dax Shepard? She's healthy. She's just attending a family function. We thought the next best thing would definitely be Erin.
15:37 Speaker 04 I agree.
15:38 Dax Shepard? Kate, where are you in the country?
15:40 Speaker 04 So I live in Nashville. However, I'm in Indiana for work right now. So my hotel room has become the best fort I can make.
15:47 Speaker 01 Sitting on the floor.
15:49 Speaker 04 I am.
15:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay.
15:50 Dax Shepard? And it looks so much like a hotel. I knew you were in a hotel room because they have a weird sized pillow that only exists in a hotel room. It's not a long one or a short one. It's in the middle.
15:58 Speaker 04 And why do they try to sell them? Because nobody wants that size pillow for their home.
16:02 Dax Shepard? I think it's that they made them, no one bought them. They're like, well, let's dump them at the hotels.
16:06 Speaker 04 These are pretty thin, too. They look a lot fluffier than they are. So I don't know how great of a sleep I'll get tonight, but that's okay.
16:11 Dax Shepard? Okay, so you're a Nashvillonian, Nashvillian?
16:14 Speaker 04 I don't know what we call ourselves, actually. I've been there about seven and a half years.
16:17 Dax Shepard? Where did you move from?
16:18 Speaker 04 I'm an army brat, so I've lived all over the country, but I moved from Los Angeles to Nashville.
16:23 Dax Shepard? Similar trajectory here.
16:24 Speaker 01 I've heard that story before.
16:26 Dax Shepard? Okay, so you have a babysitting story?
16:28 Speaker 04 I do. Grew up on the West Coast and my father retired there. I was about 10 years old and we moved into a neighborhood with a lot of other formal military people. Ended up moving next door to a couple from England of all places and they had three perfect, beautiful blonde baby girls who just had the cutest little accents. I was about 10 or 11 and wanted to make some money on the side, so started babysitting for them. The news spread that me and two of my best friends that we all babysat, next thing you know, we're babysitting for seven or eight families.
16:59 Dax Shepard? It's a real business.
17:00 Speaker 04 10 to 12, it's great.
17:01 Dax Shepard? Yes, yes.
17:03 Speaker 04 So they end up selling their house a couple of years later and moving into a larger home. They just outgrew their space. And it was across town. And when they moved there, they moved into kind of a secluded area and their next closest neighbors were about two or three blocks away. And they ended up becoming friends with them. And next thing you know, I'm babysitting for both the families. So the three little girls and now this next family that has one daughter. Sometimes it's all four, sometimes I'm doing one or the other family and we get to a point where I become friendly with. This new family find out the dad has gone back to college to get his teaching certificate. And would like to start teaching math. My mom decides, hey, you need a math tutor because you're not great. So why don't we see if this gentleman can start tutoring you?
17:48 Speaker 04 So he does while he's getting his practicum hours and I'm babysitting his daughter a couple of times a month. And twice a week, I'm getting dropped off at his house. He's tutoring me and then he's driving me home and this goes on for about, I don't know, six, eight months. Super nice guy. Sometimes the daughter and the wife are home when he's tutoring me. Sometimes they're not. One day my mom gets a phone call from the wife and it is, hi, Shelley. So and so can no longer tutor your daughter. And my mom goes, I'm sorry to hear that. What's going on? Well, he is having some mental health issues.
18:22 Dax Shepard? Oh.
18:22 Speaker 04 And he just needs to take a step back. And my mom said, I'm really sorry to hear that. And she knows that my mom's father experienced mental health issues and ended up unfortunately passing away from them. And so she was asking my mom for some help and my mom said, I can be here for you emotionally, but I'm not equipped to give you any advice.
18:41 Dax Shepard? Yes, yes.
18:42 Speaker 04 That's kind of the last we hear from them for a while. So I'm still babysitting for the English family during this time and they're not really seeing this family either. They said, I think the mental health issues just are wreaking havoc on the whole family. And so they've stepped back.
19:03 Dax Shepard? This episode is supported by Helix.
19:07 Speaker 02 Dax, is there anything better than crawling into a perfect bed on a cold fall night? Candlelit hoodie on, maybe even some rain outside. The dream.
19:17 Dax Shepard? That's the dream. You just described one of my ideal fall nights.
19:22 Speaker 02 I know. And thanks to Helix, my bed actually lives up to the vibe. All I had to do was take the Helix sleep quiz and within two minutes they matched me to a mattress built for exactly how I sleep. I have a midnight mattress. It also has cooling technology.
19:36 Dax Shepard? Ooh.
19:36 Speaker 02 Which I really.
19:37 Dax Shepard? Increasingly so.
19:39 Speaker 02 I need it. I have to have it. And I heard. Heard that you're supposed to sleep at a cold temp.
19:45 Dax Shepard? Hmm.
19:46 Speaker 02 Optimal sleep. It's very, very helpful.
19:49 Dax Shepard? She is not wrong. I have one too, and it's been such a game changer for sleep. And I love that they make it so easy, free shipping right to your door. And what they're happy with Helix guarantee, you'll get a full 365 nights to try it. A whole year to live in that cozy. They've got over 20 mattress models, so no matter how you sleep, they've got one for you.
20:09 Speaker 02 And it's not just us saying it. Helix has been named the most awarded mattress brand by Forbes, Wired and more. You gotta try it for yourself.
20:16 Dax Shepard? Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/armchair. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace, and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skillset, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours. But at some point, you're ready to put it out there. And that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap.
21:02 Dax Shepard? Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We get support from Scottsdale, Arizona. Monica, with summer ending or heading into fall, I've been researching a nice, quick getaway location, and I keep coming back to Scottsdale, Arizona.
21:45 Speaker 02 Ooh, Scottsdale's good. What's drawing you to it?
21:48 Dax Shepard? Well, first of all, I have this wonderful memory of going there as a kid when I would go see my stepdad when he was working out there. The weather is perfect in fall. Warm, sunny, no humidity. And you can really do whatever you want with your time there. I want to do a sunrise hike through the Sonoran Desert, be surrounded by Sowaro, and then at the same afternoon, just completely melt into a spa treatment at one of their luxury resorts.
22:13 Speaker 02 Oh, that sounds amazing. I want to do that. Also, I was there visiting my brother once, and I loved Old Town Scottsdale. It's so walkable. They have galleries and cute little restaurants and shops. The food scene alone is worth the trip.
22:27 Dax Shepard? What I keep reading is that it's luxurious, but not stuffy. There's no pressure to do it a certain way. You can explore public art, check out the architecture, go off-roading in the desert, or just sit and watch a sunset.
22:38 Speaker 02 It really is the perfect fall reset.
22:40 Dax Shepard? Learn more about all Scottsdale has to offer at unwindinscottsdale.com. We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends. Docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go, from the makers of Grammarly, is different. It's already right there. Inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it. It's already working alongside you.
23:24 Dax Shepard? You're deep in a long thread. Highlight it, and it pulls the key points. About to send something important? It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands. It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed, at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go. From the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com.
23:59 Speaker 04 Fast forward another year, I'm still kind of babysitting for the English family, but they've gotten older, they're in school full time and it's just not as much. And my dad hears or is reading the newspaper and sees an article that the father, who had the mental health crisis, had been hired to work at a local high school and he had been fired.
24:20 Dax Shepard? Oh.
24:20 Speaker 04 And the details were very vague. Something happened that was inappropriate, but not a whole lot of information behind that. We kind of all said, wow, that's too bad. Mental health issues must still be continuing and we left it at that. Next thing you hear from the English family, the wife has left the man who is having a mental health crisis. So we then start to put together, okay, maybe something more nefarious happened than originally thought.
24:46 Dax Shepard? Maybe the mental health issue is pedophilia?
24:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was gonna say, I do not like where this is going.
24:51 Dax Shepard? I didn't like it from the getting driven home. I started getting scared.
24:54 Speaker 04 So after that, we just don't really hear anything. The wife and daughter move into a new place. We hear that the dad moves into an apartment and mom is the word for about a year. I am now going into my senior year of high school. I can finally drive myself to get things, so drive myself to Target to pick up my school supplies. And you know how all Targets have the very long walkway that you can see the door all the way till the end until you turn? Walking down there, I'm seventeen, just in my own world and physically run into a man and I'm so sorry. I look up, it is the father. I'm like, oh my gosh, how are you? And he's not looking at me, he's looking everywhere but me. He's fidgety, he's holding a shopping basket.
25:39 Speaker 04 How's your daughter? He's, uh, uh, how's your wife? And he's like, uh, and I kind of pause and he looks up, makes direct eye contact with me, drops his basket and runs out the front door.
25:53 Dax Shepard? Oh my goodness.
25:54 Speaker 04 What just happened? So I go about my shopping, I go home, obviously tell my mom, I ran into him. She said, wow, I guess he really never got the help that he needed. It's really sad to hear this is still happening. So the next day, my mom, and I will remember this till the day I die, was cleaning our downstairs bathroom, a little half bath, and my best friend's mom called and no pleasantries, get your mother. And I'm like, uh, she's in the middle of something. She's like, I don't care. Get your mother right now. I walk into the bathroom. Mom, so until wants to talk to you. The friend says, are you sitting down? My mom says, no, she said, please sit down.
26:30 Dax Shepard? Oh, really quick. I'm, I wish someone would say that to me once in real life. I see it in movies all the time.
26:35 Speaker 01 Please sit down.
26:36 Dax Shepard? Do people faint that much that it's really necessary?
26:38 Speaker 01 Did your mom sit on the toilet?
26:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, no, we were in the living room at this point.
26:42 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay.
26:43 Speaker 04 I think it was more like she was worried what my mom's reaction was gonna be. And so she was like, if you're sitting down, we minimize.
26:50 Dax Shepard? Are your hands handcuffed to something firm?
26:55 Speaker 01 Cover your ears.
26:56 Dax Shepard? Cover your ears. I have something to tell you.
26:59 Speaker 04 She proceeds to say, Mr. So and so was arrested today. And my mom says, wow, that's bizarre. Kate ran into them yesterday and saw them. And it was a really awkward interaction. And the friend says, well, do you remember that 16 year old girl they found stabbed to death on the walking trail three weeks ago?
27:20 Speaker 04 He's the one who did it. He had kept the knife and the bloody clothing. And so they found it when they went to arrest him.
27:27 Dax Shepard? Oh my god, he murdered a girl?
27:30 Speaker 01 Shit.
27:31 Speaker 04 My mom proceeded to get up, walked right to the bathroom she had just cleaned, threw up.
27:35 Dax Shepard? Okay, so she did need to be warned.
27:37 Speaker 04 She did.
27:38 Dax Shepard? Although the friend just had to have a bucket close to you.
27:41 Speaker 01 How much can you prep someone?
27:43 Dax Shepard? I have something to tell you.
27:45 Speaker 04 So what we found out is that he had met a 16 year old on a chat room. She was for about three and a half hours away. He bought her a bus ticket to come down. They started a relationship.
27:55 Dax Shepard? Aye.
27:56 Speaker 04 The daughter that I had babysat for had met this girl. Apparently the girl tried to leave and in that moment, he figured, oh, I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this. And it was a crime of passion. And the daughter covered for him when the cops came around the first time and said, I had never seen that person before.
28:15 Dax Shepard? Oh, no.
28:16 Speaker 04 It was very sad. He was to say, my parents sat me down for about two weeks, peppering me. Did anything ever happen?
28:23 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:23 Speaker 04 I called my best friend today to recap all of this. And she said, he was the nicest dad we ever babysat for. Not creepy. We had a couple creepies, but. Never would have guessed that the man I used to babysit for killed a girl my age and I saw him the day before he was arrested.
28:39 Dax Shepard? Oh my God. But obviously he also had something cooking with one of the students when he was working there and he was a pedophile.
28:45 Speaker 04 Yeah. What's really crazy about the whole thing? He only got 20 years. So he got out last August.
28:52 Dax Shepard? No way. He's out. What state?
28:55 Speaker 04 I'll just say the Pacific Northwest. They breed them there.
28:59 Dax Shepard? Yeah, there's something happening up there.
29:02 Speaker 01 Whoa.
29:03 Speaker 04 You never know who's next to you.
29:05 Dax Shepard? You don't. And I think we all would love to believe we could somehow smell that out and we can't.
29:09 Speaker 04 I also think there's a fine line between sane and insane and it takes something very simple to push that.
29:16 Dax Shepard? I wonder what mom discovered back in the she can no longer be tutored. Like I wonder if she had already found some weird stuff on computers or something and said, I gotta keep him away from young girls.
29:25 Speaker 04 Unfortunately, they changed their name and moved. We've never heard from them. Nobody's been able to contact them. We always wanted to check in on them and they were such a kind Christian family. I'm sure it just wreaked havoc. They didn't feel that they were comfortable in their communities anymore. So very sad.
29:40 Dax Shepard? Oh my Lord. But you dodged a big bullet. We had a babysitter that went on to kill. Aaron, do you remember Leslie?
29:46 Speaker 01 Of course. That's who babysat you and David at the apartment.
29:49 Dax Shepard? Yeah, which is an exaggeration. He didn't do the babysitting, but he was dating our babysitter and he like can come over to the house.
29:56 Speaker 01 You guys got something in common there.
29:58 Dax Shepard? You don't bump into a lot of people whose babysitter has murdered people.
30:00 Speaker 04 Hey, we got out the other side. So I guess it's a good story to tell and I got to tell it to you guys.
30:04 Dax Shepard? Did you just have a war chest of money by the time you graduated? That's a lot of babysitting. Were you like rolling and dull?
30:10 Speaker 04 You know, I wish I was. I unfortunately have a bit of a shopping habit. So I just had really nice clothes growing up.
30:17 Dax Shepard? That's Aaron's policy.
30:21 Dax Shepard? Now you guys have something in common.
30:23 Speaker 01 Enjoy today because there might not be tomorrow.
30:26 Speaker 04 I mean, that's what I learned from this situation. My therapist asked me that. Like, what'd you learn from this? And I said, I have a lot of empathy and you never know what tomorrow brings. So you better have fun today.
30:36 Dax Shepard? Well, lovely meeting you, Kate. Thanks for taking the time on your Indiana trip.
30:39 Speaker 04 Thank you. I do have to have one shout out to my friend Maggie. Because she would kill me. She is the person who says every prompt that you guys put out, I could tell a story for. And so she encouraged me to say this and we text each other every week on all the episodes we listen to and she's my arm chery with you guys.
30:57 Dax Shepard? Oh, shout out Megan. Thank you, Megan.
30:59 Speaker 04 I appreciate it and send our love to Monica.
31:02 Dax Shepard? Okay, bye bye. Murder. We weren't expecting murder in babysitting.
31:08 Speaker 01 Was not.
31:08 Dax Shepard? No.
31:09 Speaker 01 It's a little better than what I thought was gonna happen.
31:12 Dax Shepard? Yeah, weirdly.
31:13 Speaker 05 Better than pedophilia?
31:15 Dax Shepard? I mean, isn't that weird? Yeah.
31:16 Speaker 05 But wasn't he both?
31:17 Dax Shepard? In this case, he was both.
31:18 Speaker 01 That's true. Yeah. I guess it wasn't better.
31:21 Dax Shepard? No. But would you agree you would way rather hang with a murderer?
31:24 Speaker 01 Absolutely.
31:26 Dax Shepard? Did you do any babysitting? I did a little bit. I would have loved that source of money. I think the thing I'd love most about being a babysitter is going into people's houses and them having snacks. Neither of us had shit for snacks.
31:38 Speaker 01 Right. No, that would have been great. No, I never did.
31:41 Dax Shepard? You remember my craziest story is that I babysat a kid that was my age, but my dad made me lie and say I was older. But it was in Wald Lake. So like I would go babysit this kid and his sister and my dad and his buddy would go out to the bar all night. No one was ever gonna know this, of course, but then I moved to his house in ninth grade and I get into my fucking homeroom and I'm in a homeroom with this kid who thought I was two years older. And I just remember feeling so embarrassed for him. Like, oh, Jesus. But it never seemed like he put together those pieces.
32:11 Speaker 01 Maybe he didn't.
32:12 Dax Shepard? The gap was staggering. He was like a kid and I was an adult or it really felt like appropriate that I would be babysitting this kid and his little sister. They'd be fighting and stuff like kids. I'd be like, okay, no.
32:28 Dax Shepard? Jeff?
32:28 Speaker 06 Hi, how are you?
32:29 Dax Shepard? I'm great. How are you?
32:31 Speaker 06 Good.
32:31 Dax Shepard? This is best friend Aaron Weekly. Monica is out.
32:34 Speaker 06 Hi, Jeff. Crazy enough, I'm in Calamata, Greece, at a friend's house on vacation.
32:39 Dax Shepard? Oh, lucky you. What's the scene in Greece right now?
32:42 Speaker 06 It's been amazing. We flew into Athens and we have some friends who are Greek and they've been touring us around. So we've been here for about five days. So it's like 11:30 at night here. In a small house, I got everybody sort of out of the room so I could do this.
32:55 Dax Shepard? Thank them for us.
32:56 Speaker 06 I'm here mostly because my daughter's just a huge fan of you guys. As soon as she saw that the prompt was babysitting, she called, she's like, you gotta go online and tell your babysitting stories.
33:04 Dax Shepard? I was gonna ask you, is this a wife or a daughter who listens to the show? I was gonna maybe guess that without offending you, but this makes total sense.
33:13 Speaker 06 I must say, I listened to a whole bunch today and it's awesome. I really enjoy the show and my story is old enough that hopefully the references won't be lost on anybody.
33:21 Dax Shepard? Okay, great. Well, I doubt you're that much older than me, so I bet I'll get most of them. So hit us with the babysitting story.
33:26 Speaker 06 This is set back in the early eighties. I was 16 years old and my mom, who was one of these super caring, loving, nice to everybody people, came home from work one day and she said, I volunteered you for something and she did this a lot.
33:40 Dax Shepard? Where did you grow up?
33:41 Speaker 06 I grew up in London, Ontario, a couple hours out of Toronto.
33:44 Dax Shepard? I tell this to everyone from London, Ontario. So I grew up in the eighties in Detroit and once a year we would take a road trip to Toronto and we would always immediately get McDonald's in Windsor when we crossed the border. And always around London, Ontario, we would finish our big McDonald's and just shove it out the window as everyone did in the eighties. So I always apologize to anyone from London, they probably got a bunch of our McDonald's trash.
34:07 Speaker 06 A lot of litter on the 401.
34:11 Speaker 06 She was talking to a guy she worked with, a really nice guy who was a single dad. I'd gone through kind of a messy divorce and had a son on his own and he couldn't get a babysitter because being a single dad, he said, all the babysitters needed to ride home. And he said, of course, I can't drive them home because I have to stay home with my son. So he just sort of gave up on going out. He wasn't dating and mom said, well, I'll get my son to babysit for you. He's got his own car. I was 16 at the time. I had a sister Sue who she babysat, but I didn't babysit. I'd never done it before. I knew nothing about kids, so I had zero interest in babysitting. But of course it was too late because my mom had volunteered me and she was selling me on. She's like, it's really easy. He's gonna have you arrive late. His son, whose name was Andrew, will be in bed and he's like, you just have to go in,
34:52 Speaker 06 watch TV, eat snacks, take care of the kid until around midnight and then Tom will get home and you can leave. So it did sound like a pretty easy gig, even though I would have rather been out with my friends. On a Saturday night, I went to this guy Tom's house, which I was meeting for the first time. I pulled up in my car. He had this old house in the old part of London. Creeky stairs, creeky floors. I went in there and he gave me the tour. He showed me the snacks and then off he went.
35:16 Dax Shepard? How old was the kid sleeping?
35:18 Speaker 06 I think he was three.
35:19 Dax Shepard? Oh, that's pretty young.
35:21 Speaker 06 I can honestly say that I've never seen this kid. I didn't that night and I never have since. I never got a look at him because he was locked away. And that wasn't my responsibility. So I flipped on the TV. I did what any sixteen year old would do first. I snooped around his house a little bit.
35:35 Dax Shepard? Of course.
35:36 Speaker 06 Checked out what he had, then grabbed some food, laid down on the couch. I was a big Saturday Night Live fan. I think those are back in the Eddie Murphy days. So I probably watched Saturday Night Live and just quickly fell sound asleep. Good nap on the couch until I heard the door open. And he said, thank you so much. This was amazing. And he paid me and I got in my car and I drove home and driving home, I go, this wasn't that bad. Maybe I'll do more babysitting. It was easy money. I just ate pizza, watched TV.
36:02 Dax Shepard? Rifled through his drawers and then went home.
36:05 Speaker 06 Exactly. I pull onto my street and at the end of my driveway, there's like a crazy person and it's my mom. She's got her fists clenched and she's just freaking out. And of course I'm like, I'm just arriving home. I'm like, oh my God, what's going on? And I pull into the driveway and she's screaming like, where is he? Where is he?
36:24 Dax Shepard? Oh no.
36:25 Speaker 06 Where is who? And she's like, where is Andrew? And I'm like, I don't know. But I, well, he's not there. Tom's been calling and he can't find his son.
36:36 Dax Shepard? Oh my God.
36:37 Speaker 06 I was like, I never saw the kid. I didn't go upstairs. I had no idea where the, the son was. And then part of me probably at the time is thinking like, I've been set up. This guy is like a murderer and he's gonna put it on the babysitter.
36:49 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah.
36:49 Speaker 06 Cause I never checked if the kid was even there.
37:00 Dax Shepard? We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace. And I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic, and Peloton helps you feel all of that. And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere, whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic. Plus, they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving. Let yourself run.
37:44 Dax Shepard? Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.
38:15 Speaker 07 Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had major lary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrinoplasia syndrome type 2. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be, or taking birth control pills, and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems.
38:54 Speaker 07 Once Daily Foundo is available by prescription only in 0.8mg, 2.5mg, 5.5mg, 9mg, 14.5mg, and 17.2mg tablets. Learn more at foundo.lilly.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.
39:12 Dax Shepard? We get support from Skims. So Monica just informed me that she's a girl's girl and I nodded like I knew exactly what that meant.
39:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, but the girls who get it, they get it.
39:23 Dax Shepard? Okay, but for those of us who are clearly not girls, walk me through it.
39:27 Speaker 02 Well, you know how much I love my Skims fleece joggers because the plush fleece is so soft. It's cozy. It's really comfortable without feeling too heavy. Well, I went to friend them and she would not stop talking about how comfy they were. She almost didn't give them back to me, which was upsetting, but I'm a girl's girl, so I let her have it.
39:44 Dax Shepard? Great, great, great.
39:45 Speaker 02 So the sleep sets are awesome because they are very soft and comfortable, but they're cute. If I'm in my sleep set, I feel fine about going down the street to pick up my food. I'm still looking cute, but I'm comfy and I'm cozy.
39:59 Dax Shepard? Roger.
40:00 Speaker 02 A really fun thing to do is if you're going on vacation with your girlfriends, to get matching Skims pajamas. I've done this with Callie and it is so fun. First of all, the pics are so cute, but also it's just fun and friendship.
40:12 Dax Shepard? So a girl's girl is looking out for your friends with better loungewear. I get it. Am I one of your girls now?
40:18 Speaker 02 You are. You and the other girlies can shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.
40:40 Speaker 06 It turns out after a couple of phone calls and me saying, I don't know. And I'm saying to mom, should I go back? And he's saying, don't come back. There's nothing you can do. He kind of had an inkling and it turned out he had an estranged ex-wife. She had some mental issues and was not allowed to see her son. And she had snuck in while I was sleeping on the couch and took the kid up the squeaky stairs, grabbed the crying three-year-old, back down the squeaky stairs, past the sleeping babysitter, and I just slept through the whole thing.
41:07 Dax Shepard? You're useless. You might as well not have anyone there.
41:12 Speaker 06 Exactly.
41:13 Dax Shepard? You're only hiring them in hopes that in case there's a kidnapping, you could intervene, but no.
41:17 Speaker 06 He sort of figures out that it was probably her and he has a sister who's also in London. She doesn't even live in London, his ex-wife. She's in some other city, probably in Windsor, near the McDonald's. I hear this in court. I'll tell you the rest of that story, but he heads over to the sister's house, hears his son crying inside, knocks on the door and when they don't answer the door, he kicks down the door. Apparently punches the sister's boyfriend in the face, grabs his son, gets back in the car and drives home. So he's got his kid back and you'd think everything's okay, but he gets charged with assault. I end up being a witness in the case, a pretty useless witness. I really don't know why I was there, but I had to go to court and this was maybe a month later and my mom takes me and we go to court and we sit outside and his lawyer's
42:02 Speaker 06 briefing me like, here's what you need to say. His lawyer's trying to say that this woman violated her order and stole her kid. He's trying to get her charged with kidnapping and instead he's being charged with assault. And so I have to go up and testify and of course the judge just makes a fool, everybody makes a fool of me like, so did you go upstairs? No, I didn't go upstairs. Did you see the kid? Do you remember anything?
42:24 Speaker 01 You should have said, who's on trial here?
42:25 Speaker 06 Yeah. Were you doing drugs or alcohol? I was like, I was not doing drugs and alcohol. I was just sleeping.
42:31 Dax Shepard? I looked for drugs and alcohol everywhere, but I couldn't find any.
42:36 Speaker 06 So that was one of my more embarrassing days in my life.
42:39 Dax Shepard? That's weirdly better than what I was gonna guess. The thing that seemed most logical to me is this boy who had not been introduced to you before he went to sleep. He just wakes up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and there's a fucking strange dude sleeping on the couch and his dad's nowhere to be found, so he runs. Like I would get the hell out of the apartment.
42:56 Speaker 06 Equally plausible story based on how sound I was sleeping apparently. The funniest part of the whole story is this all ends and it kind of goes away. I'm going on with my life and I'm 17. A year later, my mom comes home from work and she's like, hey, Tom was just wondering like, would you be interested in babysitting again?
43:14 Speaker 06 I politely said no. And until I was parenting my own child, that was the only time I ever babysat.
43:18 Dax Shepard? Tom's nuts. I mean, I would not hire you again. I left some opers for Jeff on my nightstand, which I'm sure he'll be going through. So just tell him that there's some dexedrine there. See if he can keep his eyes open this time.
43:32 Speaker 06 Exactly.
43:33 Dax Shepard? Oh, well, Jeff, thanks for taking time out of this great Greek vacation.
43:37 Speaker 06 All right. No problem. Thanks real much for having me on. I gotta make a shout out to my daughter, Andy, who like I said, is a massive fan of you guys.
43:43 Dax Shepard? Send our love to Andy. Okay. Take care, Jeff.
43:46 Speaker 06 That's so great that you had to go to court for me a witness. Like, I don't know.
43:50 Dax Shepard? I don't know. Ask someone else. Hi, Macy. Hi. Where are you at, Macy? What part of the world? I am currently in San Jose, so just north of you. But this story takes place in Toronto. I'm originally from Toronto. Can I blow your mind? Our last caller, Jeff, was telling us a story from London, Ontario. Close by. So you were born and raised in Toronto, but now have relocated? Yes, I just moved here three weeks ago, actually, with my partner. Okay, what brought you to San Jose? A job? His job. Is he an athlete for the Sharks? No, he's not.
44:24 Speaker 01 Oh, look at that.
44:24 Dax Shepard? No, he's not!
44:25 Speaker 01 Well, of course, they're from Canada.
44:27 Dax Shepard? But wait, this is nuts. The person who has that with Sharks. He's with them right now, but he's in between teams. So we'll see if he makes it. Okay. You would know this player. He played for the Maple Leafs. Finuc. What is it, Rob? Dion Finuc. Dion Finuc. Do you know that player? I don't know much about hockey. I'm just the supporter. The hockey wives is a whole thing, right? That's like a whole scene. It is. I've worked with an actress who was married to him. And the first time he came in to visit the set, and I knew he was coming from practice, I thought, it's so weird. Dion left his pads on. Like, he left his pads on under. I really thought that. That was the only explanation I could have for how fucking big his haunches were. And then, once I saw it wasn't, I was like,
45:09 Dax Shepard? Dion, you have the biggest ass I've ever seen. I thought you had your pads on. I know. It honestly blows my mind every day, too. And how long have you been together? Three years. Three years? Did you mean in high school? We did. This is fun and lovely. Okay, so you have a babysitting story. Do I ever. It was December 20th of 2023, and I was 19 years old, caring for a family of four. And they're seriously like family to me. You know, I treated them like my own. I still do. I love them like my own. And at the time, they were six months old, two years old, four years old, and seven years old. So Macy, that's a lot on your plate. Like, I think the parents can barely handle that. That's why I'm there. Yeah.
45:51 Dax Shepard? They're the best kids in the world, honestly. Like, I wouldn't babysit for them if they weren't. I'm quite strict with who I babysit for, but I was there two, three, four times a week, helping with everything from date nights to after-school activities. I was always their go-to gal. But this evening, the parents had left around Five thirty for dinner and a Raptors game, so basketball. And I followed our usual routine. I put the first baby down around six, the two-year-old down around seven, and then the older two around eight, eight fifteen. So by nine, all kids are ready for bed, sleeping, books read, teeth brushed, pajamas on. And really quick, we were just discussing this. Did you love the snacks that were available at this house? Is it now snack time?
46:32 Dax Shepard? It is. That is my next point is I went downstairs. I had a snack.
46:37 Speaker 01 How much rummaging did you do?
46:39 Dax Shepard? I don't do too much. We did some exploring.
46:41 Speaker 01 We went to every room, opened every drawer.
46:44 Dax Shepard? Yeah, we're bad. I watched some TV, FaceTimed my boyfriend. At this point, it was around eleven and my boyfriend gone to bed and my phone had died. So I went to sit at the kitchen counter to charge it. And the kitchen island's near the back door and I heard some rustling in the backyard. And I assumed it was like raccoon or squirrel, just normal nighttime activity. Though such noises always make me a little uneasy if I don't know what it is. But then I heard footsteps coming up the back porch. Okay, and raccoons do not wear shoes. And can I ask, is this in a residential area or is this downtown Toronto? This is the residential area. So they had a house and a yard. So my first thought was that the parents had come home, but it was odd because they've never gone through the back door. They always use the front door.
47:30 Dax Shepard? And I turned around and the sliding door began to open. Oh. Oh, no. And a man who I've never seen before, peeks his head inside. And he's mid-thirties, scruffy, maybe five, seven, hundred fifty pounds. So he's not a big guy, but when our eyes met, he didn't stop. He decided to fully step into the house and close the door behind him. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. In that moment, my guard was up, but also I was quite calm.
47:59 Speaker 07 Calm and just trying to put the pieces together and his confidence was so high.
48:03 Dax Shepard? Like a neighbor, maybe or something?
48:05 Speaker 07 Yeah, he was a neighbor. He knew the parents, but quickly reality set in and I was like, this man does not belong in this house. So I stood up and I approached him and instantly his response was, get down. I'm hiding from somebody.
48:18 Dax Shepard? Well, shouldn't you get down, sir? If you're hiding, why would I hide?
48:22 Speaker 01 Wait, who's getting down?
48:24 Speaker 07 We both are. And before I could react any further and push him outside, he grabbed my wrist with the strongest grip I have ever felt in my life. And he just began dragging me through the house, trying to turn off all the lights. He was kind of on his hands and knees almost while still holding on to me, like hiding.
48:42 Dax Shepard? Whoa.
48:42 Speaker 07 And their main floor was quite large, so we were just doing circles through the kitchen, the living room, the dining room. And I was trying so hard to yank my arm away, but nothing. He would not budge.
48:54 Dax Shepard? I'm imagining too, you probably don't want to scream because you don't want to wake up the kids and get them involved in this.
48:59 Speaker 07 Yeah. So I'm trying to be quiet, but also figure out what's going on. He's looking through windows, turning off the lights and he's very frantic. And with my free hand, I managed to grab my phone and start calling 911.
49:12 Dax Shepard? Wow. Good job.
49:13 Speaker 07 They didn't answer me.
49:15 Dax Shepard? No.
49:16 Speaker 07 It went to voicemail.
49:17 Dax Shepard? What? They have voicemail at 911?
49:20 Speaker 01 Not a great job on their end.
49:21 Speaker 07 He noticed immediately and he snatched my phone and he threw it across the room. So now it was just me versus him.
49:27 Dax Shepard? Oh my goodness.
49:29 Speaker 07 And he continued dragging me through the house and he just kept repeating like, I'm hiding from somebody. I'm hiding from somebody. And my mind was thinking three things. One, if he actually is hiding from somebody, I can't deal with two people, let alone if this person has a weapon, I'm done.
49:42 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
49:42 Speaker 07 Two, he could not go upstairs to those children. He can't even know there's people upstairs. And three, I knew that if this were to go south.
49:50 Dax Shepard? More south than it already is that the parents were gonna be home within the next fifteen, twenty minutes. So I just needed to fight, I guess, for that long. You're so level headed. Did you grow up in a lot of chaos? I mean, I'm one of four. But you're like, shockingly, level headed. You're nineteen at the time? I'm impressed. Yeah, so he's dragged me to the front of the house. And like I said, it was December, so it was Christmas time. And they had a beautiful nine-foot tree with all their best ornaments, the best lights. Like, it was such a show tree for the front foyer. I want to be in this family. They could get snacks. Something, something loaded.
50:22 Speaker 01 Feel so safe with Macy Babys.
50:25 Dax Shepard? Yeah. All of that shattered as he throws me into the tree. Oh, fuck. We're now wrestling, so I throw him, he throws me, he still has my arm, so I'm just one handing it. What felt like an eternity was probably only a few seconds, but I knew that this wasn't supposed to be happening. And shock kind of set in that I'm like, I gotta get free. I gotta get out of this. So we were wrestling so hard that he now threw me to the ground. He was straddled on top of me. Oh. He had been pinned down and I had no way out. Oh. I looked over and I could see my phone ringing from an unknown number. I'm like, oh, the police is calling me back. I felt like it was kind of now or never to get out of the situation and go grab my phone. So I just started fighting back and I just began punching him as hard as I could in the head.
51:07 Dax Shepard? That wasn't really working because I was just going for the skull and not any part of his face that could possibly hurt him. He wasn't even flinching. I'm gonna blame it on the angle. Yeah, now you know what your boyfriend deals with. You get that shirt over the back of the head and go to town. He's a fighter too, so maybe learn a few things. When that wasn't working, I remembered the only self-defense advice that I was ever given as a kid. So with all of my force, I kicked him three times where I knew it would hurt him the most. In his testicles? Yes, it worked. It worked. He collapsed immediately in so much pain, finally releasing his grip. So I went and I grabbed my-
51:42 Speaker 07 My phone, I called nine one one back. What a surprise. They didn't answer me again.
51:45 Dax Shepard? Jesus fucking Christ, Toronto nine one one. Get it together.
51:48 Speaker 01 Was your missed call nine one one?
51:50 Speaker 07 No, it was. I had like five missed calls from them.
51:53 Dax Shepard? What if you left a message and you go like, hey, we're playing a little bit of phone tag here, but I do have a guy in the house that's trying to kill me.
51:59 Speaker 01 Finally got him in the nuts.
52:00 Dax Shepard? I probably bought myself nine seconds. You think you could get back to me in that window?
52:05 Speaker 07 Yeah, but I knew that they would call back eventually. So at this point, he was still hurdled in a ball and I was kind of in charge now. So I just began shouting back at him like, what are you doing? Why are you here? And I raised my phone and I took a photo of him. I knew that I needed evidence and I was aware that I was in shock and this was a crazy situation. And if he'd managed to get away, that I would be no use in giving any description. So I made sure to get the photo and at the time it seemed like the smartest option. But nine one one to call me back, he now stumbled to the side door and the side door led to the basement. So he was still trying to convince me to come hide with him, come to the basement with me.
52:46 Speaker 07 And obviously I refused. I was like, I backed away. I refused to go near him and the officer on the phone had told me to go to the front porch to see if I could hear sirens and I did. So that I knew that the cops were going to be there shortly. But when I went back to the side door, he was gone. And so the police arrived very quickly.
53:02 Dax Shepard? They made up for their lackluster performance on the phone.
53:05 Speaker 07 Yeah. And four cars with their lights on like rolled up onto the curb, guns drawn, shouting like, please put your arms up. Honestly, that was the most terrifying part. I've like never experienced that before. And I'd warned them over the phone. I said, I didn't know if he'd gone to the basement or if he'd gone out the side door. So they searched the basement, but he wasn't there. And shortly after the police showed up, I'd ran upstairs to check on the kids, just to make sure everybody was still in their bed. Okay. And the oldest daughter was awake, sitting in her bed. She said, what was all that noise? And I was like, oh, you know, there was just some people outside being really loud, but they all went home now. She goes, but there was a lot of yelling, like, I'm scared. Where's mom and dad? And I said, they're going to be home so soon and give you all the huggies and the kissies, but you're safe.
53:51 Speaker 07 But you need to go asleep. So when they get home, they won't be mad at you. And that worked all the time. So we tucked her back into bed. I ran downstairs to see if the parents had come home and they returned shortly.
54:00 Speaker 05 After that stunned at what have happened to their house.
54:03 Dax Shepard? My tree.
54:08 Speaker 05 As soon as I saw the mom, I just started bawling my eyes out and I was like, somebody broke in and attacked me, but everything's okay. Everyone's okay. When it all settled down, I gave the police a statement. I called my mom to come pick me up, even though I had a car, I could not drive home. And she ended up sleeping with me in bed that night and they didn't end up catching him and he got away on foot that night. So I just went along with my life for a few weeks, but the story does not end there. Two weeks later, I got a call from the police saying that they'd captured this guy and they need me to come down and identify him. And I was like, yeah, of course I'll be there tomorrow. That night, a news article came out with a mugshot of the guy. And said that he'd been arrested and charged with sexual assault because he locked a woman in a bathroom with him.
54:51 Dax Shepard? Whoa.
54:53 Speaker 05 I don't know what else happened, but thanks to the photo I took, I was able to identify him, leading us to go to court. Six months after that. So we went to court. I testified, he testified, we were cross examined. New information came up about the case, so we had to come back a whole two months later for another day of court. Long story short, he ended up being found not guilty.
55:14 Dax Shepard? What?
55:15 Speaker 05 Due to what the court thought was insufficient proof.
55:19 Dax Shepard? Oh my lord.
55:21 Speaker 05 He remains a free man and he is out in this world doing who knows what. He does have a criminal record that is three pages long. And they still don't seem to take into account that he's not the best guy you want running around town, yet they still won't do anything about it.
55:39 Dax Shepard? Did you get a sense when he was on trial and you were in the courtroom with him, did he seem mentally not with it? Or did he seem with it?
55:47 Speaker 05 He was not with it. He just wouldn't answer any question anybody was giving to him. And he just claimed the whole time that it wasn't.
55:53 Speaker 07 Isn't him. It's not the best ending to the story, but I mean, I did learn a lot about myself that night.
56:00 Dax Shepard? Fuck yeah, I'm so proud of you. Can I look now at these photos?
56:03 Speaker 07 Oh, yes, I took a photo of him.
56:06 Dax Shepard? Oh, boy. He looks like a creature from Lord of the Rings, if I'm being honest.
56:12 Speaker 01 It looks like you trapped him in one of those nets.
56:15 Dax Shepard? Yeah, also looks like he's holding a toy soldier or something.
56:19 Speaker 07 He's like reaching his hand out at me.
56:21 Speaker 01 What's the other photo we're looking at?
56:23 Speaker 07 The other photo is my sweater and his handprint and how dirty he was.
56:28 Speaker 01 He is dirty, isn't he?
56:29 Dax Shepard? Looks like he crawled out of a tunnel and yeah, his hands would support that. Macy, that's terrifying. Have you had, and I'm gonna be serious, have you had like residual kinda PTSD? Are you like triple fucking checking the locks all the time? And do you have a Lady Remington in your purse?
56:45 Speaker 07 Obviously it was traumatic, but what are the odds it's gonna happen to me again? Knock on wood, but still like the door could have been locked and I could have prevented that from happening. I do triple check the locks.
56:55 Dax Shepard? Well, you would think the logical part of your brain would be like, right, it happened once. Odds of it happening again are in the bazillions to one, but I would say that your worldview changes as reality changes. So it's like, oh, that happened once, that can happen. You pretty much don't think that can happen until it happens.
57:12 Speaker 07 It was my biggest fear, my house being broken into. So if I can overcome that, I think I'll be okay.
57:18 Dax Shepard? Now, what about this big gorilla you're hooked up with? Does he not wanna find this guy and pulverize him?
57:24 Speaker 07 We were doing long distance at the time, so I texted him that night and I was like, somebody broke into the house and assaulted me, but I'm okay, I'm safe. And that's all he got. So then in the morning, he was freaking out and he was like driving to my house that morning. I mean, it all has passed now, it's all good, but he is a protector and I appreciate that.
57:45 Speaker 01 And it turns out you're a protector as well. You have four kids upstairs.
57:49 Dax Shepard? Yeah. Well, Macy, that's a crazy story. I'm so glad you told it to us.
57:53 Speaker 07 Thank you for having me. Actually, the day after it happened.
57:56 Dax Shepard? And my mom was like, this would be such a good anonymous story. Oh, she did? Wow, just immediately? Here we are. No, it was the first thing we thought. Oh, wow. I feel very flattered by that. Very thin silver lining, but I'll take it.
58:10 Speaker 01 Thank you, Macy.
58:12 Dax Shepard? Thanks for everything you guys do. We appreciate it. Our pleasure. Bye, guys. Bye. Half of our babysitting stories involve people entering the house.
58:21 Speaker 01 I'm thinking about maybe double checking my logs.
58:24 Dax Shepard? Well, I love you. I'm so glad we got to do this together.
58:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, I love you too. That was fun. Thanks for inviting me.
58:33 Speaker 07 Do you want to sing a tune or something? We have a theme song.
58:35 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay, great.
58:38 Speaker 01 We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, a rhyme dish. On the fly, a rhyme dish. Enjoy.
Previous Cas Holman (on being playful) Next Reese Witherspoon Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated