Olivia Munn

Olivia Munn (Your Friend and Neighbors, The Newsroom, The Daily Show) is an actor and advocate. Olivia joins the Armchair Expert to discuss accepting that a messy home with kids is not a sign of failure, the story of her family’s exodus from Vietnam, and the endearing best friend dynamic between her husband and her mom. Olivia and Dax talk about feeling powerful for other people by overcoming abuse at home, inventing her own language just so she could cheat in math, and not regretting sticking to her instincts despite its effects on her career. Olivia explains following the fragility of appearance in Your Friends and Neighbors, how life or death problems streamline your priorities, and why we so often spend our time in positions that are comfortable over those that are right. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Lilly Padman.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  Hi, welcome.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Someone on an Armchair Anonymous recently said MVP. I was struck by the big mistake my parents made by not giving my middle name a V.

• 0:15Dax Shepard?

  Veronica.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, or Victoria.

• 0:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, or Vince.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would take it.

• 0:20Dax Shepard?

  Or Victor.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  To have MVP.

• 0:22Dax Shepard?

  Monica Victor Padman. Ooh, I like that. That's strong. Victor or Victory. Today's guest is strong.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 0:31Dax Shepard?

  That was an elegant segue.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, nice.

• 0:32Dax Shepard?

  Olivia Munn is here today. She is an actor and an activist. She was on Newsroom, one of my favorite shows of all time.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Great show.

• 0:41Dax Shepard?

  Magic Mike, The Predator, X-Men: Apocalypse, The Daily Show, and she is currently on the hit show on Apple TV+. I love this show. I got so sucked in. Your Friends and Neighbors. So check out Your Friends and Neighbors. It's out now on Apple TV+. Please enjoy Olivia Munn. We get support from Quince.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:21Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater is starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 1:48Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this. It just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited. And I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel-quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an Amazing thing they offer here and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:23Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from our sponsor Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight

• 3:04Dax Shepard?

  who also have weight related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had major area thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type two. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be, or taking birth control pills and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Once daily Foundo is available by prescription only in 0.8 milligram, 2.5 milligram, 5.5 milligram, 9 milligram, 14.5 milligram, and 17.2 milligram tablets. Learn more at foundo.lilly.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.

• 4:24Dax Shepard?

  Save it for the podcast. I want to know what your sensitivity is. I don't know that I've heard anyone say I have.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  You know, someone who does, Kristen.

• 4:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no, no, I know people. I just have never heard anyone. I don't think I've ever heard someone say that at the beginning, which I love. Auditory and?

• 4:42Speaker 03

  In light.

• 4:42Dax Shepard?

  In light. So these are sensory issues, right? That's what we call them broadly?

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:47Dax Shepard?

  And so tell me, bright lights?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Bright lights, for sure. I'm just kidding. It's no, it's specific things. Like if I go into a room and it's really bright, John does a great impersonation of me that when he did it, I was like, oh yeah, that does sound like me. He opens the door and walks in and goes, oh my God, these lights are so bright. What's going on? You're so crazy. That's my reaction.

• 5:07Dax Shepard?

  And you make a character assessment at the end of it.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  I'm just like, what's wrong with you?

• 5:11Dax Shepard?

  You would have to be crazy.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Do you need all these lights on? He's like, it's literally just the overhead. But auditory sensitivity is certain sounds, and it's always been like that since I was really little. A doctor said that to my mom, took me to like a psychiatrist, because I just would really have a hard time with it, and especially in schools where they're all fluorescent lights.

• 5:29Dax Shepard?

  Uniquely harsh, the elementary school lighting.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Oh, my gosh.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  And malls. I never understand mall lighting is so bad and it's very fluorescent. And when you're trying on stuff, the lighting's so bad. I've never understood that.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  It doesn't help you purchase clothes. If you guys want me to purchase your clothes, give us some soft lighting.

• 5:48Dax Shepard?

  Give me a ring light. Let me see how I look.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  It's a big flaw in the system.

• 5:52Dax Shepard?

  So Kristen has many of these. The biggest offender is should there be two different songs playing within earshot of each other? Still short circuit. It's interesting. When you have a partner, I think you're knee jerk. Because, look, we love our partners, but we're also stuck with our partners. We're going to travel hip to hip with them throughout our whole life. So if they're constantly agitated by something, you immediately forecast the rest. I immediately forecast the rest of my life. Well, that's going to happen a lot. Can't you kind of?

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Can you overcome this?

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Knowing John, he likes helping me through. He likes that I have a weird thing.

• 6:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  He thinks it's very funny.

• 6:28Dax Shepard?

  Endearing?

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Maybe endearing.

• 6:30Dax Shepard?

  Like, he's gonna protect you from it? His male protectiveness comes out?

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, he likes to be protective and of value when it comes to certain things like making me comfortable or happy, but also just his personality, he finds it very funny.

• 6:43Dax Shepard?

  It's just something for him to work with.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:46Dax Shepard?

  Basically, right? It's fodder for some thoughts.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  We went on a drive from New York to Montreal once, and he wanted to put on music. I was like, no, because I often can sit in silence for hours in a drive. I started listening to podcasts. Your guys' was the one that got me into listening to podcasts, truly.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 7:04Dax Shepard?

  That makes me very happy.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  I love how you know so much. And so it's not just a question, answer, question, answer. It's like listening in on somebody's conversation. So I could do that for a very long time, and I could not listen to other people's podcasts. Only sometimes, sometimes, what I told you before, there may be a person on whose voice is hard for me.

• 7:25Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  And I would skip that episode or not listen to you guys for a minute because I was like, okay, kind of got out of the.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 7:30Dax Shepard?

  Now they're inviting these kind of voices on.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Wait, can we pinpoint what it is about their voices? Is it mine?

• 7:36Speaker 03

  No, I love your voice. No, no, no, it's the dynamic between the two of you.

• 7:40Dax Shepard?

  You couldn't not like your voice and get through more than three episodes.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  No, yours is there. You come in very like, hey, so I'm just gonna point this thing out.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  So you're driving everyone nuts.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  For some reason, I can listen to the same song. One time I did that drive to Montreal. I have really close friends there. It was like a four or five hour drive, but I listened to the same song over and over and over again.

• 8:00Dax Shepard?

  I like to do that.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Because it feels comfortable and I know it is.

• 8:03Dax Shepard?

  Do you watch movies over and over again?

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 8:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so this is a big anxiety thing. This is Monica's favorite thing is to watch the same film 13, 14 times in like a quarter.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:12Dax Shepard?

  And then we keep seeing all these Instagram psychology tips. And one of them is that's super common for people with anxiety.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Well, I have dealt with a lot of anxiety.

• 8:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, this is what I want to get to. So you wouldn't remember the first time we met, but I do, which was at, I think, the Soho House at like a CA-type party. It was like an agency party and I hadn't met you. And you and I kind of bumped into each other at the bar and by my recollection, had an explosive exchange of ideas. And I've referenced you many times on here. In that conversation, you were telling me that you had this something trichinemia, whatever it is.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Trichotillomania.

• 8:45Dax Shepard?

  Where you pull your eyebrows.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Eyelashes.

• 8:48Dax Shepard?

  Eyelashes.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  But the trichotillomania specifically people pulling hair. So it could be hair at the top of your head. Cause there's a sensation, it's probably not even real, but I'll feel like, oh, this eyelash feels like it's gonna come out, even though it's not. And then when you pull it, there was a quick second of pain.

• 9:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  And then there's a satisfaction and then immediate regret.

• 9:07Dax Shepard?

  What a short-lived high.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  It is, but we have a lot of hair, you know? But then I was dating Chris Pine at the time.

• 9:14Dax Shepard?

  Who we've come to love.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  He is amazing. We were recently at the SNL 50 and we're in the airport lounge together and it was so great to catch up. He's just the best. So there was a paparazzi shot of he and I and it was the first time I was in the tabloids. I was on G4 and I was going to some very small event. It was like for weed. I think when it was just trying to be legalized.

• 9:34Dax Shepard?

  To promote it or to stop it? It's you.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Promote it.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  What side of the aisle are you on?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Oh, I had asked the costume on this daily show I hosted, what is the ugliest dress you have? And they found this blue old prom dress with big pom poms on the side. And I was like, oh, I wonder if I can make it into the worst best dress list.

• 9:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  And then I did and I couldn't believe it worked. The fact that I was like, they know who I am to even put me on this list.

• 10:00Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  It was very exciting.

• 10:01Dax Shepard?

  Talk about silver lining. You get a worst dress and be like, yeah, I'm worthy of a worst dress. Yeah, I like it.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  So I had left Chris's apartment. Hopefully, I don't think he'd mind me telling any of this story, but I'd left Chris's apartment and there were paparazzi outside his house because he had been in Star Trek and all this and I didn't recognize it. My wallet was like a little bit bigger. It's like a little kind of wallet clutch and they caught photos of me. I was like, oh my God. And when it got out and one of my friends was like, hey, you're dating Chris Pine? And then I did the horrible thing, which was to read the comments. And this is back in the day at the time, you don't know that it's bad.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  And they were like, I think she set this up. Who's carrying a clutch during the day?

• 10:38Dax Shepard?

  The clues that they string together.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  And I was like, ah, that began. And my trick of telemania.

• 10:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that was the beginning.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  That was the very beginning.

• 10:46Dax Shepard?

  I don't know why, when we were chatting back at that party, that I thought this was maybe a childhood thing, because I was certainly telling you about my tics, I would imagine.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, we did talk about that.

• 10:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and OCD, you were the one who, and I credit you for this all the time, you go, well, you know what OCD is all about?

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Control.

• 11:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but I didn't. I just knew the term OCD.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Well, because you know, other, other people like to be like, I'm OCD. And they say that in a way of like bragging about how organized and clean they are.

• 11:08Dax Shepard?

  That's OCDP, because we had an expert on it. She told us.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  We got in big trouble on here.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  OCDE, OCD egotistical.

• 11:16Dax Shepard?

  OCDP. Yeah, the distinction, which is quite interesting, is if your actions are in alignment with your overall morals, that's not OCD. So like, I'm a neat freak. You think being neat is the correct way to do it. You think being clean is godly. So that's not OCD. OCD is like, you have a compulsion to do things that are not in alignment with who you are.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Procrastination is really connected to OCD, and OCD has a lot of connections to hoarders. So when you've ever watched that show, Hoarders, there will be one cabinet or one area that still looks really perfect.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Oh. Because that's who I really am. That's what I'm heading towards.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  Yes. It's saying to yourself and saying to others, no, no, no, I'm really organized here. Realizing that connection made me stop myself from living like that. And so I would work really hard to clean it up. Now, having children, it's impossible.

• 12:09Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  The other day, I cleaned up everything while John was out with Malcolm, and I'm not exaggerating, within 10 minutes, it was a mess again. That was hard for me at first, because I felt like a failure as a mother and as someone who's supposed to take care of their home. Then I just was like, this just means a life well-lived.

• 12:26Dax Shepard?

  They're here to teach you these last lessons that were impossible to learn. So my big thing is maintenance. You should be a good steward of the things you have. If you're lucky enough to have them, they should be in good condition. And just within two years, every single thing in the house is destroyed. And then you have to go, that doesn't matter at all. What matters is that these kids had a blast growing up in this house, and if I kept it perfect and nothing was damaged, that would just be a different kind of childhood. That trade off is not worth it.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  The thing that I focus on is I want him to take physical risks and be brave. And I know you know that because your daughters were on motorcycles so young.

• 13:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  And it was hard at first to convince John because John's family, they just didn't do anything. You know, like the really low beams at the park, that's literally six inches off the ground.

• 13:13Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  He'd be like, Malcolm, come on, let's get off of that. I'm like, what? One time Malcolm walked up the slide, like the bottom to the top.

• 13:20Dax Shepard?

  The correct way, if you're a daredevil.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  We all have done. He goes, hey, Malcolm, we don't go up the slide like that.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  But is that about rules? That almost sounds more about rules than about.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  No, I think it's for safety.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Really?

• 13:31Speaker 03

  Like John was really big on safety.

• 13:33Dax Shepard?

  They can be complimentary. Like one is for decorum, but decorum is generally safer.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  So we both grew up with a lot of rules. My mom was a very strict tiger mom. My stepfather was in the military. John's parents are baby boomers generation and they kept their home really organized, I think emotionally and with a schedule. And John says that his friends would always kind of feel safe there because there was the structure, even though he had another friend who he would go to their apartment and just do the craziest shit. So he felt a lot of safety in that. So I think that he also likes doing that. I've had to talk to him about that and I had heard something. And when I say I've heard something, it means something came up on my Instagram.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  John says, I'm like, so I heard this psychiatrist or the psychiatrist told me and he was like, where did you hear it? Did you go to a psychiatrist's exam? Like it was, yes, I G. But it said something like, it was important for fathers to show physical risks and physical capabilities.

• 14:27Dax Shepard?

  Our job is play.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  Yes. Because it makes them feel more brave and confident in their own skills. But you know, I grew up doing martial arts, Taekwondo and cheerleading.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Oh, I love it.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  I know. When I heard you were a cheerleader early on, I was like, I know a little bit about how you grew up.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  It's a common language.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 14:47Dax Shepard?

  You can say that anyone that was a ballerina, like you know that life, that's a certain kind of life.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  But I think people on the outside of cheerleading don't under, like we do all know about ballerinas, but not everyone knows about cheerleaders.

• 14:58Dax Shepard?

  Right. They should watch Cheer. Great show.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  Competition cheerleader?

• 15:03Speaker 03

  I was high school cheerleading, but in Japan, we competed in all of Far East Asia.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  So there's big competitions and I tried out my ninth grade year. And usually ninth graders almost always make JV, but I made varsity that year.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  I had moved to this new school in Japan a few years before. I had a really hard time assimilating.

• 15:23Dax Shepard?

  Was it an expat school or was it all Japanese?

• 15:25Speaker 03

  It's a military school.

• 15:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh, right, right.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  But we compete with all the Japanese schools too.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  Can we beat them at anything?

• 15:31Speaker 03

  Well, we beat them eventually.

• 15:32Dax Shepard?

  You did? Okay, wow.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  So I had no friends and it was really hard. It was like eighth grade and I would look at people who had a lot of friends and the cheerleaders did. So I went to the library. I got a book on cheerleading and how to cheerlead and it taught you how to do like a herky.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 15:49Dax Shepard?

  There's a book on it.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:50Dax Shepard?

  I'm surprised you didn't do that. That sounds very you.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  It does sound like me.

• 15:53Dax Shepard?

  Reading your garage.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  I would feel like I should write one.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  You should. That would be so cute. So then I tried out and I made varsity. Varsity goes and competes and our first year we got third place.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  And the second year we got first place and it was a big upset. We were toe to toe with this other school that we had already heard was like the tough school. They were another military school. They weren't one of the Japanese or Guam schools.

• 16:17Dax Shepard?

  I don't know if this is racist, but when I think Japanese, I think synchronization.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  And work ethic.

• 16:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes. They got a lot of qualities that would lend themselves to.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  And they're lighter than tumbling or throwing them into air.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:28Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  But one of the girls came from America that same year. She'd been a cheerleader there and they were incorporating like dance.

• 16:34Dax Shepard?

  Hip hoppy.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Hip hoppy.

• 16:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, girl.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  So she brought the music and everybody else had the regular cheers and so we had this element. But this cheer team we had already heard was tough in a way, like a little bit more street. And so they didn't mind fighting.

• 16:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Our cheerleading coach, after we won, we were so excited. She goes, we're ordering pizza and staying inside because we've already gotten word that they're on the streets looking for you.

• 16:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. This is like a football team.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  This is exciting.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were looking for us and so we stayed inside and celebrated. But yeah, it was a big deal.

• 17:03Dax Shepard?

  Well, we've jumped to one of the more exotic chapters of your life, which is living in Japan. But let's start in Oklahoma. Your mother comes to Oklahoma in 1975.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  This is the 50th anniversary of her fleeing Saigon this year.

• 17:16Dax Shepard?

  Her own story is quite interesting, right? In that she is Chinese ethnically, but lived in Vietnam?

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're Chinese. We have a little bit of Vietnamese in our bloodline. But yeah, there was a big Chinatown in Saigon. And like what happens in most war torn countries, missionaries come and spread the word of God. And so then they had met the head of a Christian university and they had sponsored them to come to America. And it was my grandmother and her nine children.

• 17:44Dax Shepard?

  Was she the first to be Christian in her family?

• 17:46Speaker 03

  So none of them were Christian.

• 17:48Dax Shepard?

  They just played the game?

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Played the game.

• 17:49Dax Shepard?

  I did too, to go to Cedar Point.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:51Dax Shepard?

  I went to a couple of youth meetings just to go on the Cedar Point trip.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  I have twin uncles and they loved David Hasselhoff. They saved enough money and they snuck money in from Vietnam. And they were able to buy like a Trans Am and a Corvette.

• 18:06Dax Shepard?

  Did they too come to Oklahoma?

• 18:08Speaker 03

  They all came into Oklahoma.

• 18:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  They loved growing their hair out long, like David Hasselhoff.

• 18:12Dax Shepard?

  I love these guys. They're fucking vets and Trans Ams and long hair. They smoke cigarettes?

• 18:16Speaker 03

  No.

• 18:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, bummer.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  But they did bodybuilding competitions.

• 18:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, I love them. What are their names? Uncle what and what?

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Thai and Foo.

• 18:25Dax Shepard?

  Thai and Foo. My bros, Thai and Foo are coming over. We're gonna fucking bang some weights.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  And they had like these sepia colored photos of them oiled up and just jacked.

• 18:33Dax Shepard?

  Send me those.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  I would love to send you those.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Is that because that was what America was to them? And what it represented?

• 18:39Dax Shepard?

  That's why I like it so much. I love the fantasy of being somewhere else. And you look at this other place that was on TV and it's a fake version of the place. But you actually come in and act the fake version, which is great. It's like, talk about creating your own reality. I love it.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  So then they start going to church.

• 18:54Dax Shepard?

  Cause that's where they ass is?

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Well, at the Christian university too. Yeah.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Well, they owed Jesus.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. And so now they're at this Christian university and they gotta go to church all the time. And then the president of the Christian university said, hey, you need to be more clean cut. You need to cut your hair.

• 19:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  And that was a big no-no for them. And they're just so smart and clever. And they went and they found a picture of Jesus Christ with his long ass hair.

• 19:19Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  And they showed it to her and they said, well? And then she let them keep.

• 19:24Dax Shepard?

  Ah, yeah, that's a good. Counter, when you can bring in the top dog.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's no top dog.

• 19:30Dax Shepard?

  Long hair.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Awfully hypocritical to say, cut your hair.

• 19:33Dax Shepard?

  Didn't he create us in his image? Isn't that the premise of this whole thing?

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 19:38Dax Shepard?

  How does your mom meet your dad, Winston?

• 19:40Speaker 03

  She was introduced to him through a mutual friend.

• 19:42Dax Shepard?

  Did she already speak English?

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, they had been learning English. So Saigon was a very wealthy city. That's why you'll meet a lot of Vietnamese people who are here. They'll tell you stories about how their family was so wealthy, which is, I think, why there was an invasion. And so wealthy schools would teach English and Vietnamese and Chinese and French. My uncles speak French.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  How old was your mom when she came here?

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Twenty.

• 20:03Dax Shepard?

  There's a halcyon moment in Saigon where it's like a very sexy, cool, thriving city that's very French.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 20:11Dax Shepard?

  In the early seventies, like the Montreal of.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Montreal of Asia. I mean, they loved it there. What's so incredible about my family and my mother is that on that day, 50 years ago, they got onto a ship and left the only country and home they ever knew, and they were never going to come back. My grandfather stayed back because he was going to dig up his gold. So back then, they would bury all their stuff. And sometimes they'd bury them with people who passed away and are buried into their caskets to like hide.

• 20:43Dax Shepard?

  Now you gotta do a little grave robbing.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. He was like, I gotta go get my gold. I'll see you there. And then they got a letter how or much time later that he had passed.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, so he never got to come over.

• 20:54Dax Shepard?

  There's a fable in there, sticking around for gold and missing your family, trading your family.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  That is better.

• 21:00Dax Shepard?

  That is advice. I'm sure he was at a raucous time.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  But why'd they leave?

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Because Saigon was invaded. There is this great documentary called like The Last Days of Saigon or Final Days of Saigon.

• 21:10Dax Shepard?

  Because the agrarian revolution was certainly going to take out all the people that were landowners or had been wealthy. They were enemy number one.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  It was not safe.

• 21:17Dax Shepard?

  Of Ho Chi Minh.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:18Dax Shepard?

  And there's five of you.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  So my mom married my husband, sorry.

• 21:24Dax Shepard?

  No, hold on right now.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Can I tell you?

• 21:26Dax Shepard?

  Because that's really everything, I think.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  That was so Freudian.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Well.

• 21:30Dax Shepard?

  Because you're referring to the second husband, right? In that moment?

• 21:33Speaker 03

  No, I will not refer to any of it. My mom is so close with John. It's his best friend. When I went through all the surgeries for breast cancer, my mom was like, I'm gonna come and help you. But my mom drives me crazy.

• 21:45Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  She is always on YouTube on her phone, listening on full volume, which I can tell you is so hard for me. And so many times like, Mom, can you just turn it down?

• 21:54Dax Shepard?

  The information auditory.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  So she shuffles away to her bedroom. My daughter, who's eight months old, when she was really young, brand new into the world, she'd be holding her while she's asleep. And she has on her leg, full volume YouTube Vietnamese news. When I say news, I mean, it's just a guy talking about what he's read.

• 22:10Dax Shepard?

  What he saw on Instagram that day.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:12Dax Shepard?

  I interviewed a doctor today. I saw it in my feed.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Seems like you can't really throw stones at us. That's all you get here.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  No, I didn't say I didn't believe him. So then my mom was wanting to come. And I said, I don't need her to come. Do you want her? And John said, yes.

• 22:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  And they hang out. John makes an actual paper to pen list of all the movies he wants to watch with my mom.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  They watch everything. He loves her. They hang out. They're cackling.

• 22:39Dax Shepard?

  Do you think you'll ever walk in and they'll be kissing?

• 22:43Speaker 03

  No, but they're often on the couch watching a Korean movie, sharing the same blanket.

• 22:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful. And they probably like to commiserate about YouTube, because I like to do this with Kristen's dad. And it's gonna be positive. There's a fun dynamic with you made this girl. I'm now with her forever. There's a lot of fertile ground for us there.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  So one, when I had Malcolm, I couldn't produce breast milk. I could do like a bottle a day, not even. So I had spent all this time pumping. And I put it on the counter because you're supposed to keep it room temperature because you can use it within a certain amount of time. So I come over and I look. And I'm like, Mom, where's my breast milk? And she has that look on her face like, ugh. And I went, what? What did you do? And she goes, I thought it was to be thrown away, so I threw it away.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  And I went like, Mom, you know, I did that thing that you talked to your mom. I'm like, Mom, I can't believe you did that. I'm so angry. You have no idea. Start crying. And I'm like, this is everything. And it takes me all day long. And this is the only way I bond with Malcolm. And then she looks at me and goes, John threw away the dog food. And I was like, what? And I got like, you know, just food for dogs or this gourmet dog food that has to be in the refrigerator.

• 23:49Dax Shepard?

  I know all about it.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  And she just threw him under the bus. And then another time, she disappointed me and made me mad about something. And then she went to John and said, hey, Olivia's mad at me. She told you to put on the humidifier. I noticed you didn't put on humidifier. So when I pointed out to Olivia, just know you are in trouble.

• 24:10Dax Shepard?

  She's like, being forthcoming that I'm gonna tell on you.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  And then John came up to me and said, hey, your mom said this, so I need you to really act like you're so mad. So that she ends up feeling bad. So then John does it. And I'm like, I cannot believe you. There's only a few things I asked for you to do. And I just reamed into him. We look over at my mom and she's like this.

• 24:26Dax Shepard?

  She loved it.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  She's smiling.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  Did not face her.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  It happened exactly the way she wanted it to.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  So John loves it again. He likes the weird things in people.

• 24:33Dax Shepard?

  I appreciate that about him.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  We're so similar. I talk to my mom like that. My mom also watches YouTube constantly and it drives me nuts.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  I know. I've always thought that you and I'd be very good friends. I've listened to this a lot.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Very similar.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  I've always wanted us to run into each other, but it hasn't happened.

• 24:47Dax Shepard?

  Monica will scream from her bedroom, Mom, I want a sandwich.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  No, not currently. I did use to do that. And then now it's so seeped into her. It's like Stockholm syndrome. When I arrived, she's like, here's your sandwich.

• 24:59Dax Shepard?

  Trying to be ahead of the pain.

• 25:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. My mom cooks a lot. She cooks for John all the time. She'll text him and be like, what do you want for dinner?

• 25:05Speaker 01

  It's a love language.

• 25:06Dax Shepard?

  I could see being really charmed by a mother in law like you're offering. I think that would be fun. But so mom and dad met and then are you the only child out of that union?

• 25:15Speaker 03

  No, there was first my sister.

• 25:17Dax Shepard?

  How much older?

• 25:17Speaker 03

  She's two years older. And when I was six months old, my mom discovered my dad was cheating on her. She had taken his suit jacket to the drive. Bye cleaners and was emptying the pockets and found two movie ticket stubs.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Oh, this is very movie-esque.

• 25:31Dax Shepard?

  It's also very eighties.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  It is.

• 25:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Two movies, ticket stubs. She found a receipt for a taxi cab. He never drove in a taxi.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. To his credit, he admitted it and then she kicked him out and it was with a woman he played bridge with.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Very sexy.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:45Dax Shepard?

  Bridge is super sexy, yeah.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  A year and a half later, she marries the next guy.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Oh, so they were done forever.

• 25:50Dax Shepard?

  No second chance. That's it. Hard line in the sand. There may be more going on.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  He called her and begged her to come back and she did. And then, as she tells me, there was one night where she can hear him crying in bed. And she's like, what are you crying about? And he's like, I just miss her. And he was like, I'm confused and I don't know what to do. And she was like, no, that's done.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  I mean, I hate that this is my takeaway, but a part of me is like, why didn't he just lie? Not about the first one, but about the crying. You could be crying about anything.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  There's a point you want to be caught.

• 26:21Dax Shepard?

  Maybe he was evaluating whether he wanted to be with the bridge lady or your mom.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  The bridge lady.

• 26:25Dax Shepard?

  Bridge babe.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  I think there are quite a few people, and I think it's predominantly men, that I've experienced and seen in my lifetime that can't deal with the guilt of ending the relationship. So they want to do something where you say, I'm done.

• 26:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think that's more of a guy's move. And also to just kind of detach, stonewall, hope that the woman finally goes, this is not fulfilling.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now here's another bonding moment for us. So yeah, my first stepdad showed up around four. Or maybe they started dating when I was four and they were married at five or something. I'm not a fan of the first.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Same.

• 27:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Tell me about this dude.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  Just a bad guy. He was air force and really abusive and lived with a lot of fear. I realized later in life that I was creating a lot of issues in relationships and I would be quick to fight because my equilibrium was very off. Everyone has anxiety on a level of one to 10. One being, I'm gonna be late for work, where are my keys? And 10 being, my entire family is burning alive in a house and I can't get them out.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  Mine was a consistent nine. And so as I go into life, some That could bother me as a one or two is super high up on that anxiety list. And I would just create these fights because it felt normal. And it was a really bad time in my life. There was this one time where I had decided that I'm not going to talk to him anymore.

• 27:50Dax Shepard?

  What age do you think this was?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  This was at 15. I also had to call him dad early.

• 27:55Dax Shepard?

  Ew, it was one of his things.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  It is one of those things. You get it.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  That's a control mechanism.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Titles are really hard for me.

• 28:01Dax Shepard?

  Dare tackle this. This is very dangerous, but I'm gonna just be dead honest. I can imagine, especially in the seventies and eighties, white dudes having an idea of what an Asian immigrant woman's gonna be, which is gonna be very subservient and I'm gonna be the boss. And getting into the relationship in no relationships ultimately like that, even if on the outside appearance it has that flavor. Do you think there's any validity to that?

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Well, his first wife was Chinese. They had two children together who just happened to be the same age as my sister and I. Very Brady Bunches. And my mom and his first wife definitely fell into the stereotype of.

• 28:42Dax Shepard?

  Subservient.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:43Dax Shepard?

  By the way, what a fucking gross thing to desire.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  I know. To have somebody just wait on you.

• 28:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I want someone to be subservient.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  And you know, it's not my mom. Her second husband, my current stepfather, is amazing. When I was 16, it's the first time I got to see my mother in control. But yeah, I had to call him dad and I hated that. It's a small thing, but you know, when you have friends and you have kids and when you're close to them, you're like, hey, it's your uncle Dax. It's just your friend. I do not like when you call somebody an aunt or uncle who is not blood.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 29:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  Or they have godparents. We call them Uncle Kevin and Auntie Stevie, and that's it.

• 29:16Dax Shepard?

  That's where it ends.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Yes. And I had friends who'd be like, I'm your auntie, whatever. Or John will introduce one of his friends and be like, this is your uncle. I don't say it, but I don't like it.

• 29:25Dax Shepard?

  Now, how do you feel about this? This is the dynamic that's happening in my house, which is my best friend, Aaron Weekly, is here. Is my son.

• 29:33Dax Shepard?

  He's called me dad since we were 12 and so he's my daughter's brother and they call him their brother.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Like emotionally, not actually.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Emotionally, yes.

• 29:42Dax Shepard?

  Well, yeah, physiologically, he can't be my child because I'm only six months older.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  That doesn't bother me.

• 29:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay, good. So their brother is 49, about to turn 50.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  But I agree with that. I also feel on the opposite end as someone who is like a aunt-like figure in many kids' lives. I don't like being referred to as an aunt when I'm not their actual aunt.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, you get it.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, that's not the right word.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  To his kids, the Delta and.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Well, we have other word, like I'm her soulmate.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Well, that is extreme, by the way.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  We are.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  Wait, Kristen's soulmate or the children's?

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Delta's my soulmate.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Well, Delta is very.

• 30:19Dax Shepard?

  Soulmating.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Very, yes.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Because I started working with them when Delta was three months old and I was taking care of her and she is my soulmate.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Well, I'm happy that you found your soulmate.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  I know. But yeah, aunt, it's not the right word, but I don't really know what the right word is.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  I dated somebody who was Filipino and Filipino culture, there was always auntie and uncle.

• 30:39Dax Shepard?

  Same with Indians.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I'd be like, is it real? I have to do like a blood and like, no, no. And you're like, okay, okay.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  I want to know, blood or not.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  I know.

• 30:48Dax Shepard?

  What is the reality I'm living in? Is that a blood relative?

• 30:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, it makes a difference.

• 30:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so this dude though, he first took you guys to Utah and you were in Utah for what, maybe three or four years?

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Three years at Hill Air Force Base in Utah.

• 31:00Dax Shepard?

  But were you sad to leave Oklahoma? Did you pine for it?

• 31:03Speaker 03

  So my grandmother and grandfather, my dad's parents, my grandmother is the kindest person you'd ever meet. And they were with us all the time. My mom loved them. They love my mom and they took care of us a lot. So leaving that was really scary and made me sad. And the first time we were there was in kindergarten. So we went really young. The abuse had started and I was already really fearful. So being there away from my grandparents, the people who kept me safe. And I noticed that my mother didn't feel that she had the power to do anything.

• 31:33Dax Shepard?

  My mother, when I asked her how she could have been with that dude, she was driven almost solely by the shame of there's no way I can fail at this a second time. That was such a powerful force.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  I think that when she had two children, there is this feeling of how do I support them? Being married to someone. That has a steady income was important. It was so far back, but I remember it clear as day. There was this one time, all the kids got a sled for Christmas and we were in Utah where it snows a lot. And my older brother, Jimmy, who was just one of those kids that parents probably get annoyed with. My stepdad was like, I made this for you guys. It took me all this time to make it. And Jimmy was looking and he goes, you didn't make this. And I was like, yes, I did. And he looks again, he's looking around and he goes, you didn't make this. And then he beat the shit out of him. On Christmas Day.

• 32:22Dax Shepard?

  He didn't make it, did he?

• 32:23Speaker 03

  No, he couldn't have done that. Jimmy knew him enough. There was no shed for him, you know, there was no area that he made this at. I felt powerless. That became the point in my life where I became such a fighter. Going back to the story of when I had decided to stop calling him dad or talking to him at all. When I was 15, I had done it for a while. And then finally I was walking up the stairs and he was walking down the stairs. And I just kept looking down at the stairs and he stops me and he says, I'm sick and tired of you not talking to me. And then I looked at him, I rolled my eyes and kept walking and he grabs me.

• 33:01Speaker 03

  And he turns me around and he slaps me so hard that my head hit one of the framed family photos that went up along the staircase. And like cut my eye. I remember looking at him with tears coming down, but not sad tears, but pain tears. And then just rolled my eyes again.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  He had this look of like, what the fuck?

• 33:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, I know what the look is. Oh, I'm gonna have to kill her to dominate her.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Uh huh. And it was so piercing, but mine was piercing back to him. That solidified for me that there's a lot of power in fighting back. And so in my life, I would fight back a lot, sometimes to my own detriment.

• 33:36Dax Shepard?

  Same, same, same.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 33:38Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's hard to remember you're not a kid. You'll be an adult and you realize, oh, I'm behaving as if I'm 15. I have no choice over my surrounding and who I'm around.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Well, because memories don't know time. When something happens to you, you go right back to being eight years old. You go right back to being 15. And the reactions that you had then feel applicable to what you're going through in that moment.

• 33:59Dax Shepard?

  Well, and they were required and saved you and needed. And then yeah, at some point they're probably not needed. But yeah, if you have been afraid of someone, there's nothing quite as satisfying as having been afraid of somebody for a very long time and then getting to the point where you declare you're no longer afraid of them, or even I don't mind what the outcome of this is.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I think I was just born like this. I just always wanted to fight back.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 34:30Dax Shepard?

  This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts, the stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it, start to finish, cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 35:13Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 35:14Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. This episode is supported by Helix.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about how November is basically survival mode between the holidays, the travel, the hosting, the cooking, the everything? Sleep is the one thing keeping me from completely unraveling.

• 35:33Dax Shepard?

  It really is the foundation and I think people underestimate how much a bad mattress is quietly ruining their day. You wake up stiff, your back's angry, you're already behind before your feet hit the floor.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  That was me before Helix. I took their sleep quiz, which is so fast. It took me like two minutes and they matched me to a mattress that actually fits how I sleep. Not a guess, not a firm or soft coin flip, it's a real match. I have a midnight mattress and I really like it. I was noticing it because I actually had to sleep in one of my other beds recently.

• 36:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  That doesn't have a Helix mattress on it and I really could tell a big difference in my sleep.

• 36:07Dax Shepard?

  Temperature was all over the map.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  It was a mess. I need a new one.

• 36:10Dax Shepard?

  Look, they've got over 20 mattresses. Model, so whether you sleep hot, need extra back support, or you've got a partner who moves around all night, there's one built for you. Plus free shipping and a 365 night happy with Helix guarantee. That's a full year to decide.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Helix has been named the most awarded mattress by Forbes, Wired and more. So it's not just us being enthusiastic. The experts agree.

• 36:31Dax Shepard?

  Right now, Helix is running their Black Friday sale with up to 30% off. Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. Helixsleep.com/armchair. We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 37:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10pm to 7am.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 37:34Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram is helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 37:54Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts. We are supported by Walden University. You know that feeling when you've been thinking about making a move, going after the degree, the promotion, the thing you keep telling yourself you'll get to someday? Walden University is built for that moment. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working professionals get the W, the knowledge. The skills and the confidence to create real change in their careers and communities. Their programs are designed around your life, not the other way around. With Tempo Learning, available in select programs, there are no rigid schedules or set weekly deadlines. You move at your own pace.

• 38:38Dax Shepard?

  And Walden's faculty aren't just academics. They're practitioners who bring real world experience into everything they teach. From your first class to career coaching and beyond, Walden is your partner the whole way. Take the first step and learn at a pace that works for you. Visit walden.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by CHEV.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Do you have an obsession with justice?

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Obsessed with justice. What's right is right, what's wrong is wrong. And when people get it wrong, it's so difficult for me, especially when it happens personally. I remember working on a show and one of the other actors was telling me something that they thought was really unfair. And I would go and speak to the top guy and I'd be like, hey, this is happening. And it wasn't even my fight.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  And then I would kind of get chastised for it. And then he would do it again. By the third time or so, I thought, oh, he's abusing this. He knows that I will get it done, but he doesn't.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Have to take the fall or any of it. Yes.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  And so that's where the justice thing has also bit me in the ass.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too. Big time sharers all over the place here.

• 39:54Dax Shepard?

  Additionally, we're wrong a lot. Or it's 60% unjust and it's 40% just. And if I try on their glasses, I go, oh, I see why they acted like this.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:05Dax Shepard?

  Cause I think within the sense of justice, you have to also be doing a lot of character assessment. And you do a lot of contribution error syndrome. Like you make some kind of decisions about who they are, which explains this injustice. And then now we're like in judgment and all these other things.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Whenever a friend asks me for advice, the first thing I ask is, what is it you want? Let's just get to that part and then we can like backtrack from there. But what is it you want? And. It always begins with understanding and sensitivity to the other person.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Given that was the environment you were living in, what kind of kid were you on all the rungs? And then we ultimately, we moved back to Oklahoma for junior and senior year, which sounds like quite an endeavor. If you've been in Japan for the last 10 years or seven years.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was hard.

• 40:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So where were you at in the social hierarchy? What was your position? Because I'm going to say a lot of super gorgeous people will say they were wallflowers in high school. It's very hard to believe for most people, I think.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  I was not a wallflower and I was never an ugly duckling. When I got to school, at this point, and I think it's probably the abuse that had happened to me growing up. I loved Disney and I wanted to almost feel childlike, but I was also grown up in my head. So I would buy like a button up shirt that had the whole Disney gang coming out the side.

• 41:24Dax Shepard?

  Cool.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  Is mature.

• 41:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  And I got to this school and there were some boys that noticed me. And that brought down the ire of the girls.

• 41:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you were the new gal and all the guys were interested. And so they were like, who's this bitch?

• 41:38Speaker 03

  Not all the guys, but one of the popular guys or two.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  That's all you need to, to really shake things up in a school.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  And I got letters like, you're a slut. And it was really, really difficult for me. It got to a place where I started wearing baggy clothes. My sister had a Metallica shirt. I go, this is cool. They're going to think that I'm into this stuff and I'm tough. But the thing is, I was pretty tough. I was doing martial arts since I was four. And I have older siblings that was the fourth of five. So I was fighting with them a lot and we got physical. And I, at this point, was eating lunch by myself outside. And then they all came up to me and I was sitting in this outdoor area where there's like these cement steps. And I was sitting on the steps and here they walk up, five or six of them. They were like, we think you're a slut. And I was like, why do you think that? What have I ever done? I've never even kissed a boy at this point. Like, what are you talking about?

• 42:30Dax Shepard?

  We must have different definitions of slut.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then they just reamed me over it. And then finally, I was just so tired of it. I got up and I said, let's go. And they're like, go where? And I was like, let's fight. It's gonna be hard unless you guys come on one on one. So I'd prefer one on one.

• 42:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  But let's go. Just that confidence. It's so embarrassing when I think about now, but I got into my karate stance.

• 42:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good for you.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Very like karate kid where they're like, let's go.

• 42:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  And I was just ready to grapple.

• 42:59Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  And then they stopped and turned away. And it wasn't until the next year when I was varsity cheerleader and homecoming princess.

• 43:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you wow, you got that.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Really turned it around and they wrote me a letter saying sorry for everything.

• 43:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. See, here's the problem. You get rewarded for these moments. I like that about myself.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  It solidifies your choices were effective.

• 43:21Dax Shepard?

  Yep. And then that somehow is now stitched into your identity. And then now weirdly, I was manifesting those situations because I like it about myself. I don't back down or I stand up for people. And then that's just a dangerous road to be on where my identity is kind of dependent on me proving my bravery a lot.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, also what has happened to me is when I've needed to advocate for myself or speak up for myself or try to correct a narrative, that thing comes up in me, which is the negative things that my stepfather would say. Even though as a kid I fought back, you can't say that to a kid without them thinking that. And you can't abuse a kid without them thinking that they're worthless. And you can't see your mother powerless without you feeling also powerless. So I felt really powerful for other people. If I was part of an overarching theme like Asian hate or the Me Too movement, I'm like, yes, I can do this. But if it's me personally.

• 44:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  The feeling of worthlessness.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  And when you're fighting on behalf of other people, you can see things a little more objectively. And when it's you, it's easy to say like, well, maybe they're right. Maybe whatever they're saying that you know is wrong, but are they wrong? You know, it just starts this chatter.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  But the truth is I always wanted, and I still do, I want to defend myself against things.

• 44:38Dax Shepard?

  This runs the risk of offending you and I hope it doesn't. I think I see in you a similarity that I have. When I started getting attention from like high status girls and they were generally older than me, there's never been a sweeter nectar to me than the approval of the opposite sex. If they're.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  High status.

• 45:00Dax Shepard?

  High status. Do you have that at all?

• 45:02Speaker 03

  It would be the opposite. It would be getting the respect from women.

• 45:07Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Or people my same age, older women that I respect, because those are the people who targeted me.

• 45:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that makes more sense. But you were smart. You got great grades.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I worked hard to get the grades. My siblings are very, very, very smart. My sister's partner for a law firm. My younger brother just became a physicist in France.

• 45:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  And they're just brilliant. And I was not like that with them because I had a stepsister who's the same age as me. She would always be in every honors class, every AP class. And so my mom would be like, well, you have to.

• 45:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, what's going on here?

• 45:40Speaker 03

  And especially being Asian, she's like, you have to.

• 45:42Dax Shepard?

  What a shameful event.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  So I worked really, really hard and I got really good at cheating.

• 45:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't suspect you, so that's good.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, me either. Yeah, it's a good twist.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  The energy that it took for me to come up with my own way to cheat, I could have learned the stuff.

• 45:58Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  Like, I came up with a whole alphabet of dashes and dots for math formulations. And I would put it on the chalkboard in between classes when the teacher had gone for a break. I would literally be able to read the dashes.

• 46:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. Yeah, that is far more complicated than probably.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, because that is what an equation is. It's just like symbols.

• 46:15Dax Shepard?

  Symbols representing quantities.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  But I couldn't remember it. I had to look at it. Again, I'm putting myself into a high-stress situation.

• 46:22Dax Shepard?

  Which you like.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  Which felt comfortable. I didn't like it.

• 46:25Dax Shepard?

  You felt at home there.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  I think unconsciously I just kept doing that.

• 46:28Dax Shepard?

  I like chaos to some degree.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  I mean, John and I will happily gossip about other people's chaos. We're just like, oh, my God. One time, we were doing that drive from Montreal. He goes, okay, let's crisis PR this couple. And we spent the whole time and it was so much fun. Sometimes something will come up in the press about them. I'm like, what do you think? And he was like, I mean, we already worked it out and I think that they have no path forward. He's like, they can keep doing this, but that's not gonna help them.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Do you watch Couples Therapy?

• 46:57Speaker 03

  I love that show.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  It's the best.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  I wish they did it all the time, year-round. People need therapy year-round.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  I know.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  It's interesting because some people, it's so obvious what they're doing. And you're like, Can you not see this?

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, like the narcissist.

• 47:11Dax Shepard?

  But then you have to go, and it's so obvious what I'm doing. The humiliating part of watching that show, which I love, is like, yeah, and so are you.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Everyone's participating in the cycle.

• 47:22Dax Shepard?

  There's some unavoidable patterns.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  I was with a therapist once where I'm like, and then what am I supposed to do? And he's like, well, what do you think you're supposed to do? Finally, I was like, no, no, no, you are the expert. You tell me what to do.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Yes, that's why I'm paying you.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  And they would just be like, no, but this is your journey. I'm like, my journey brought me to your fucking couch.

• 47:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, my journey wants answers.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:40Dax Shepard?

  I want some tools.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  Finally, I found one who doesn't tell me what to do, but gives me the scenarios. Like, you could do this, this, or this.

• 47:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 47:48Dax Shepard?

  But don't you think this is representative out of that space? It transcends the therapy space. You've been on, especially I'd imagine, like, The Newsroom. Three seasons, you have a bunch of different directors come through, and you're in the makeup trailer, and you're talking about who likes the director and who doesn't. And this was my experience on Parenthood, and there's so many of us to hear from. And it's like, oh, yeah, there's no way to direct people. Every time a new director comes in, eight of us love the person, four people hate the person. There's someone that's the perfect therapy for.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  On The Newsroom, specifically with the directors coming in and out, there was a director. So first season, I got a lot of love for my performance on that.

• 48:22Dax Shepard?

  I loved you on it.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 48:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I love that show so much.

• 48:25Speaker 03

  That means so much. I love that show so much.

• 48:28Dax Shepard?

  And I was happy for you, because I think we also have a similar pattern of coming out of reality in brackets, having a chip on my shoulder. What's it like to act? I'm like, I was acting on Punk.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was a host. And when I went to The Daily Show, which was a huge jump to have Jon Stewart give me that call, that was acting, too.

• 48:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  But on The Newsroom, second season, I had realized, because a lot of the directors were doing this, they kind of focus on me, even though I'm like, I got such great response. Like, what are you fucking with me for? My interpretation was that they wanted to come in and be like, oh, I'm working with this person, and I'm gonna put my little imprint on this character. And there was one director. Came in multiple times. There was a storyline where my character and Tom Sadowski's character are dating and falling in love. He kept trying to force me to carry that storyline only on my side. Like, I'm in the middle of working and I've got this new Bloomberg machine and I'm so excited. And he's like, can you look out at him and smile? And I'm like, why? She's busy doing this. Or can you stop and snuggle up to him or flirt with him? Or can you give him a kiss? And I'm like, this is in the middle of working.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  There was one time where my character finds out that he's done insider trading with some information I got him. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? This is insane. And they're like, I don't think that you're that angry with him. It's kind of funny.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:46Dax Shepard?

  Insider trading is kind of funny.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  I just fought back so much. And then it got to this place where there was one scene. And I was like, no. He said, look, it's my job as a director to see all the different colors of the rainbow. You are looking at only one color and I don't think you realize how you're coming off. And I said, how am I coming off? And he said, really forceful and strong. And I said, great, that's what I wanted. And walked away.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  And then I got a knock on my trailer from one of the producers. And they said, hey, I see that there's an issue. And I've heard from the director, there's a bit of an issue and you guys are kind of butting heads. And I was like, this is what's going on. Why am I being?

• 50:27Dax Shepard?

  You can go talk to him.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I'll tell you, I was happy with what I did instead because I would have been the one. People would have been like, oh, look at her character, look how she's playing it. And they wouldn't even care if I even said, it was him. So I just stayed to my convictions. And then afterwards, I was on the one yard line for the movie. And my manager calls me and says, hey, you're gonna get the role. But first, I guess there's another director who they know. And he says that on the newsroom, you were late all the time and really combative.

• 50:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he threw late in.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  Added a little sprinkle.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  It was at Sunset Gower. I lived seven minutes from there. I was never late.

• 51:07Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  And I was like, I know who this is. He just was trying to bash me. And I told my reps, please tell the directors this. And then I still got the role, but I will always remember that just because of our conflicts of how we approached a role.

• 51:20Dax Shepard?

  Your creative differences.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  He wanted to ruin my chances of getting anything else.

• 51:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, that's a dark impulse.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  It's just this business is so hard because everyone's trying to make their mark. Everyone's trying to get credit. That director on the show wants something different so they can point to and say like, that's my work. I'm the reason that X, Y, and Z happened as hard.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  Obviously, when you start in this business, there is the hope of making your mark and getting to a certain place. But this kind of dynamic that I had experienced for so long has really changed. The way that I think about my career and what I want, and I truly just want to do great work that I'm happy with, and I want to live an easy, happy life. I don't need to get to the next echelon.

• 52:04Dax Shepard?

  You turned down Deadpool?

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Wow.

• 52:08Dax Shepard?

  You get X-Men at the same time, or was it either or?

• 52:11Speaker 03

  It was X-Men after that. Deadpool, they wanted me for the wife, and Simon Kinberg reached out and Ryan Reynolds sent me an email. At that time, the stuff I was getting offered was always the female character wouldn't exist if the male character didn't exist.

• 52:27Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  And Ryan sent a strong pitch for it, but that's the whole thing of the morality thing. I was like, nope, I'm only going for these types of roles. Yeah, Deadpool became a huge hit.

• 52:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And it's a great movie.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's all across the board.

• 52:43Dax Shepard?

  So a big win.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  A big win for them. I mean, it's gone on a million times. They have so many sequels to that.

• 52:50Dax Shepard?

  And possibly they keep getting better, too.

• 52:52Speaker 01

  But you can't feel too bad about that because you had a reason, and that reason was real. It wasn't like they didn't offer you enough money. Okay, well, or not.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. I heard Amanda Seyfried say the other day that she Turned down some big role. I don't know which one it was, but it was a really big movie. And she was like, but I don't regret it because that's what I needed to do for that time in my life.

• 53:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  It's because I'd made decisions based off of this thing in me that was like, nope. I didn't really think through those. That's why I think on certain things that I've done. I'm like, what was I thinking?

• 53:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:28Dax Shepard?

  I made a lot of my decisions coming from a place of feeling less than. Now, of course, I knew you had had breast cancer.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  Cause I had told you guys.

• 53:36Dax Shepard?

  But I guess I hadn't realized until today, until I was learning more about it, is that you had gotten a negative mammogram, you had gotten a negative ultrasound, you were negative for the BRCA gene, and then you took this test.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  It's called the lifetime risk assessment test. It's for breast cancer. It's free, it's online, it takes minutes. You don't even have to put your email in.

• 53:56Dax Shepard?

  So it's a questionnaire?

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's asked you like, have you had children? How old were you when you had your first child? How old were you when you had your period? Anybody else in your family have cancer, breast cancer? And then it gives you this percentage and anything above 20% is considered high risk.

• 54:11Dax Shepard?

  You were 37?

• 54:12Speaker 03

  Thirty seven point three.

• 54:13Dax Shepard?

  What even prompted you taking that?

• 54:15Speaker 03

  My doctor, Dr. Tighe Salabati, she is an icon. There's no other doctor that I know that's like her. She is so proactive. She spends so much time with you. And she says, I do this thing called the lifetime risk assessment test. And my score came out high. And so she said, go get an MRI. When I had come out about this test and it just reached so many places around the world.

• 54:38Dax Shepard?

  The test went up by 4,000% people taking the test.

• 54:41Speaker 03

  And she called me crying and saying, this has been my mission for my whole life. I knew that it wasn't something that people knew about, but I had no idea it was like such a passion of hers and how much it would save my life and so many others.

• 54:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Once you go and get an MRI, just for starters, I guess I'm shocked that you have to get to MRI level before that would be discovered. But once you get an MRI, what do they find?

• 55:06Speaker 03

  So I go in and the radiologist calls me that same day and he says, I think there's something on your right breast and I want you to go get an ultrasound. So then I go get the ultrasound and then the doctor there is saying, I think I found two more.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  So then they go, go in right now to get a biopsy. And they were concerned because with breast cancer, they think of your breasts as a quadrant. So imagine an X-ray through it. And if you have multiple tumors in one section, that's not as abnormal. But now mine was multi quadrant and multifocal is multiple ones. So multi quadrant, multifocal.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  So I get the biopsy and they said, let me take a few days to get it back to you. And Dr. Tyes Alibody's office called and said, come in to see her. She was like, it's cancer. It's stage one and it's not normal for it to be in this many areas. So I'm going to guess that it's in your other one, too. And I had called different friends of mine who were doctors around the world. So I was just like, tell me something good. And they were like, there's no way it's bilateral. It's so unique and you're too young. And then my surgical oncologist went back to my original MRI. And he said, I think there's something there. And then they had me do an MRI biopsy, which is like you're lying down in this machine and you go into this thing. They kind of position it, they circle, and the robot goes in and takes it and comes back out.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  Then they call and they said, it is bilateral, multifocal, multi quadrant breast cancer.

• 56:34Dax Shepard?

  Now, really quick, I do imagine most people who get a diagnosis have felt some kind of symptoms. It must have been such a shock. You couldn't have been feeling.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, not at that place.

• 56:45Dax Shepard?

  That's almost scarier because then you're like, God, my body won't even tell me.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  So scary. You know, like when you realize how lucky you are, but you're still so scared. The aftermath.

• 56:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, if you're about to fall in front of a bus and someone rescues you, sure, you have to.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  You're like, fuck.

• 56:57Dax Shepard?

  But then you're also going through the panic of you can see what that was.

• 56:59Speaker 03

  And also, did this come out of my breast and gone to anywhere else in my body?

• 57:03Dax Shepard?

  And you already had Malcolm.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  I had Malcolm, he'd just turned a year.

• 57:06Dax Shepard?

  So now the stakes are a million times higher. Like, I've not valued my life at all until I had kids.

• 57:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, and after they did my double mastectomy. They do this thing called margins where they take the tumor and they have the tissue and they look to see how far out it goes before they clear margins. So they go like, oh, you had clear margins after X amount of

• 57:24Dax Shepard?

  Centimeters.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Exactly. So they ended up finding a tangerine sesection of more cancer.

• 57:28Dax Shepard?

  This just happened to a friend of mine where it's like she went in for one thing, they got in there and then low and behold, it had grown all the way up into her

• 57:34Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 57:36Dax Shepard?

  And it was enormous.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  How are they not catching this earlier?

• 57:40Speaker 03

  You know, mammograms are amazing. They have saved countless lives, but they're not perfect.

• 57:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  That's why Dr. Ali Badi talks a lot about AI in the medical field. She's like, they can spot it way, way before a doctor can with the naked eye. And with mine, it's a fast-moving, aggressive kind of cancer. So there is a reason why it was all over.

• 58:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  And I wouldn't have another mammogram for a year because I'd just had it. I don't know how much it would have spread like your friend, what stage it would be at. And that determines your path forward or counting days. There's so many people who are given this diagnosis and don't have the opportunity to fight. They literally are given a calendar and been like, here are your days left. And I'm just so grateful that there was a path forward for me.

• 58:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Did you have to do chemo at all after?

• 58:29Speaker 03

  No, because it didn't make it to my lymph nodes.

• 58:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  And specifically because I opted for a full double mastectomy with both breasts. So some people do lumpectomies. It's a much easier procedure, but because I had so much, I wanted to be really aggressive and I didn't have to do radiation either because when you do lumpectomy, you've got to do radiation at least.

• 58:48Dax Shepard?

  When I was taking my dad to chemo, I was expecting to walk into this chemo facility and see a bunch of people like my dad, heavy smoker men. He was almost always the only man in there and it was just all young women. And I was just like, oh my God, this is so much more epidemic than I gave it credit for.

• 59:10Dax Shepard?

  And it's young.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  I remember going into so many doctor's appointments, there's so many. And after my surgeries, I go into the oncology section. It's shocking how many people you see that are sickly, like actually look sick.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:25Speaker 03

  It stops you in your tracks. And especially when you're somebody going through it, you're looking at what could be you.

• 59:31Dax Shepard?

  You're on the same highway and they're at like a different exit.

• 59:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, am I going to be exiting on their exit?

• 59:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  It's getting younger and younger, breast cancer. There's like a new wave of cancers that are affecting younger people and it's so scary.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  It is scary and I think that's why early detection matters so much.

• 59:51Dax Shepard?

  And you've had five operations as a result of this?

• 59:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I had a lymph node dissection to check my lymph nodes. I had a nipple delay. It's elective, but it gives me a better shot of keeping my nipples. Because when you do a mastectomy, you cut through like blood vessels and that is bringing oxygen to your nipples. So they do this special surgery. I'm going to say it wrong, but like you're doing something to the blood vessels to open them up and make them stronger. You do it 10 days before your mastectomy. And that way it's like you have a better shot, which worked for me. Then I had the double mastectomy. Then I had reconstructive surgery. And then the medicine that I was on had to reduce my ovary hormone production.

• 1:00:30Dax Shepard?

  This is where they force you into menopause.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm still on another medication. That's why I have that rash on my leg and I've had hives and I have exhaustion.

• 1:00:37Dax Shepard?

  Ew.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  And that's why also I spend a lot of time in bed and on the couch. But I'm really trying to like just ignore it and be like, it doesn't matter and keep pushing forward. But the one that I first took was Lupron. It's a monthly shot and it's a bully.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  I had to take that for egg freezing.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  I did egg freezing, I don't remember it, but I guess it would make sense because it messed with your ovaries.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  How many eggs did you get? Do you mind me asking?

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  No, of course. I did it twice. I did not have good results. I had two eggs the first round and seven the second round. So I have nine total. It was not a great experience for me.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm glad I got what I got.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  Which doctors did you use?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  I went through USC, the Keck.

• 1:01:13Dax Shepard?

  Dr. Kevorkian?

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Have you heard of it? It was one of those things. I was like, well, do I do it again? Do I do it again? Like, how many times do I do this to like accumulate all these eggs? And then I was just like, you know, this is it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

• 1:01:25Dax Shepard?

  We got 10.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  Whatever, nine.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  I decided to do an oophorectomy, which is a procedure that takes out my ovaries, which put me immediately into a surgical menopause.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:34Dax Shepard?

  Anaphorectomy?

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  I also had a hysterectomy. I had my uterus and fallopian tubes taken out. I just want to mitigate the risk that I get cancer somewhere else. And those are big places to get cancer. And if I had any signs of HPV on my cervix, I would have taken that out too. But if you take out your cervix, you have a higher chance of prolapse.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:01:54Dax Shepard?

  That kind of makes sense. It's kind of like the tether holding everything up at the top.

• 1:01:57Speaker 03

  It's like the cap. When you have a double mastectomy, your breast implants have to be circular. Because when you have an augmentation, they can do, like Kylie Jenner just talked about, it's a teardrop, half under, half over the muscle. It's a whole thing, which makes it look natural. But if it's oval and if it turns, then you've got the oval going horizontal, right?

• 1:02:14Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  So they have to do round so that they can spin in place if they need to spin.

• 1:02:19Dax Shepard?

  In the event that spinning's required.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, that I'm breakdancing. They usually have to go larger than what you would ever want because you have to fill up with breast tissue and all of that, right? If not, they're gonna just kind of hang down. And so I had begged my surgeon, go as small as you can. You can sometimes see the implant through your skin. It kind of looks like this pulling, wrinkling kind of thing. But I was like, I don't care. I don't care. And John wouldn't care. So I was like, I just don't care. And so he told me that he was in surgery and he put the smallest one in. And I turned to his assistant and he said, I think we can go smaller. Because the last thing I said as I was going into that surgery was, please go smaller. Actually, the last, last thing, John has this video of me. I had just read a book on Jackie O. And I was talking about, Jackie O. has so much anxiety.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  She just lives this hard life. And I turned to the anesthesiologist and I go, you look like you don't have anxiety. You look, you're pretty good. And then John was like, oh, my God. So he starts recording. And as they're wheeling me out, I was like, hey, I'll see you later. And John was like, bye, I love you. And I went like this. And I just threw up the peace sign. It's like, deuces, I'm out.

• 1:03:24Dax Shepard?

  I'm out. I'm high and I'm out.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  So are you on like the creams and stuff that everyone who's talking about menopause now is saying like we all need to be doing?

• 1:03:33Dax Shepard?

  Well, she can't, right?

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  Exactly. But there are a lot of. Things that I can do to combat the symptoms of menopause. I can't put hormones in my body, like testosterone. There's a testosterone in our body that turns into estrogen. And that can really exhaust me to have that depleted. And I can get aches and pains and I get hot flashes and the chill, which is kind of a cold flash.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  And then the medicine can give me like hives and rashes. At first, I was so frustrated with it. Last year, tried this medication, so angry. I had the shortest fuse.

• 1:04:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, irritable.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  Everything that I was mad about, I would say is justified. But normally I'd be like, oh, this is annoying. It was like, this is not okay.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Unacceptable.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, so mad. On our flight home after having our daughter, I broke down crying. And I hadn't really said this to John because I hold a lot of stuff like that in.

• 1:04:28Dax Shepard?

  Well, you gotta be strong or people will take advantage of you.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I remember just looking at him and I was like, can we talk? And I just broke down crying. I said, I am in so much pain. I don't know how to stop. And I said, I don't like being angry, but I feel it all the time. He's like, do you ever feel happy? Because it seems like you've been happy. Like when our daughter's born, I go, yes, yes, yes, there are times when I'm happy. But even when I was happy, I felt like I had my hand on a door and there was a monster trying to get in at any moment.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  So even though I was happy, it was ever-present. And that's why anything could set me off. And so then I said, I don't think I can do this anymore. I think I'm gonna have to roll the dice and hope that it doesn't come back. Because you're supposed to take this for five years. And he said, let's think about this. Let's go to your oncologist. And then she brought me onto another medication that gave me full-blown anxiety.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  Like physical anxiety. I couldn't take full breaths. So then I have decided to go back to exhaustion.

• 1:05:24Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. That's the lesser of all evils.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  We had an expert on it. She told us that the percentage of women who attempt suicide is the highest during perimenopause.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Because of that, because there's like so much happening with your hormones and anger. And no one knows that that's what's happening.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  My postpartum was extremely difficult on a scale of One to 10, I'd put it at 100 and I'm not kidding. I'd wake up every day at 4 a.m. gasping for air and feel tightness in my chest all day long. And I felt like I was not even dying, like the feeling if you get if you're afraid. That's what I felt like all day long. And I found out later, because I couldn't make breast milk, as I told you guys. So I decided to stop completely. It's so much process.

• 1:06:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's just guilt.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:06:10Dax Shepard?

  Self hatred.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was like, I'm getting given formula and I'm going to be happy about that. And fuck everyone else who's telling me that I can only feed my baby with one certain way. Every mother should do whatever they need to do to feed their babies and not feel any guilt. But when you stop breastfeeding, your hormones drop. And if you wean off, like a lot of people do, it's not going to hit you. But I went from breastfeeding, even if it was a little bit, to not. And that's what spun me into my spiral. And I didn't even talk about it. And it also goes into another topic, which is when you open yourself up to people asking you questions or speculating on your life, it's like, how much did you share? And then are you allowed to share, but then expect privacy at the same time?

• 1:06:53Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right. Yes, that's the dance you're doing. I want to be open with you, but I want to control the reaction to my.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  It's also like with your relapse, you know, you talk about it so much on this show. And then you've gone through something so personal that you had a lot of shame about. And you're like, do I talk about this? Am I ready to talk about this? When do I talk about this? Do I owe this to anybody? Because I've already invited them and I've already talked about this so much.

• 1:07:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think I had already crossed that bridge, which is why it felt like I didn't really have a.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  Choice.

• 1:07:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, if I were to have any integrity.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:23Dax Shepard?

  I couldn't be receiving all the praise for it.

• 1:07:28Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:07:35Speaker 05

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• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  You said something to me, and I was with Bradley in Paris.

• 1:08:14Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  You said something to me then that really opened my mind in a different way. It stays with me and I think about it often. You're talking about addiction and how at one point you were going from like girl to girl. You're dating a new girl, new girl, and you had this epiphany, or maybe somebody told you that you keep looking for this high of something new and you are chalking it up to, but I want a new experience and I want to experience new things in the world, in the life. But you are not getting a new experience, it's the same experience.

• 1:08:45Dax Shepard?

  Over and over.

• 1:08:46Speaker 03

  Over and over, you're just putting in a different person.

• 1:08:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's the illusion of novelty.

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  Exactly, and you said, what I've never done before is stay in a relationship for X amount of years, what I've never done is walk my daughter through the park.

• 1:09:01Dax Shepard?

  That trip where we saw each other, Kristen was about to have Lincoln in March and we were there in January, so it was like, oh, this will be the very last time I can go see a buddy in another country, it was that kind of trip.

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  And I don't think that we knew that she was pregnant, or I don't think it was in the world that she was pregnant.

• 1:09:17Dax Shepard?

  No, probably not.

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  So I remember when you said that and I thought, oh, that's right, like when you're doing the same things, you think that you're doing something different, but it's the same experience and then at some point I'd heard that you guys had the baby and it really impacted me, you were imagining yourself, but I think that's a big part is like, can you imagine yourself doing something different and if you've already set your mind on, I do this, you're only going to do that.

• 1:09:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and drinking had that too, it was like I'd be at the bar and I've gone there to have a novel experience, I've had my normal day, now I want to go have a fun drinking day and I'm at the bar and I'm reading the fucking label on the Budweiser bottle for the millionth time because I'm bored and I'm like, oh yeah, there's nothing novel about, if anything, it's guarantees that I'll never do anything differently again.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, well, that's delightful, that made me so happy.

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm happy.

• 1:10:03Dax Shepard?

  You liked that, okay, let's talk about friends and neighbors, I love it.

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  You do?

• 1:10:09Dax Shepard?

  It's fucking awesome.

• 1:10:10Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:10:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's so good.

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 1:10:13Dax Shepard?

  And then I'm wondering, do you have this thought too? It's like, I love it. It's about the 1%. Everyone is a perfect house. Everyone's got a rad car. They're a member of a club and the whole nine. And I find myself uniquely interested, or I think it's uniquely interested because I know a lot of rich people now. And yes, the happiness didn't tick up.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  The themes of our show about how money doesn't buy happiness and how just a complete blind ambition can upend this constructs of wealth and privilege or loyalty or religious beliefs. You are just blinded by something you want. We all have experienced that. And so I think in that, people can connect to, but the overarching kind of world that we're in, it's meant to be a peek into a world that most people can't see.

• 1:10:58Dax Shepard?

  Well, what I like about it is it has a second gear. It was explored in White Lotus 2, which is it's really crazy to have both the realization and the knowledge that it doesn't feel good and an insatiable desire to protect yourself from losing it. That's what's so fascinating to me is the second part, because you and Jon Hamm's characters are both in this situation where you're on the verge of losing your access to this world, which you've already been disillusioned by. We know it in Jon's narration at the beginning. He just talks about the treadmill and it's so familiar to everyone. You get the promotion and you constantly move to places to make yourself poor again. And then you're finally at the place where you're not poor. So he's disillusioned. He knows, and yet he can't lose it.

• 1:11:43Dax Shepard?

  And then you're getting divorced. You're married to a rich dude.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. And my character is the only person who wasn't born into wealth. The way that Jonathan Tropper explained it to me when I first spoke with him about it, he said, these people are the ones who go to the right high school, go to the right Ivy League college because their parents went to that same Ivy League college. And because their dad knows this hedge fund guy, you get to have this really great job at this hedge fund. Everything is set up for success for them. Then you get the big home. Then you get the big vacation home. Then you get this car and that car and this watch. And There is this fragility of appearance that people aren't acknowledging when they have everything and how quickly it can slip away.

• 1:12:27Speaker 03

  And my character and John's character is really examining how far someone will go when they lose it all in order to get it all back.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  And my character, I thought it was interesting because she's come from a blue collar upbringing. So she knows how to live without this.

• 1:12:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:44Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:12:45Speaker 03

  But now that she does.

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  Can't go back.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  You can't go back. They always say that in your twenties, you're figuring things out, but you're off the mark. By your thirties, you're finding yourself and by the forties, you got it. And I wish that wasn't as true as it is.

• 1:12:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:59Speaker 03

  With my children, I want them to have struggles because that's the only way to learn. However, I want to be able to tell them, hey, don't spend as much time on relationships as I did. Fuck that. Like, it's not gonna... But then you know they need to.

• 1:13:11Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:13:11Speaker 03

  But I think if I was given more of a heads up, I think I would have made different choices and the lessons wouldn't have taken so long.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  I don't know, though. I guess there's no way to know, but I don't think so. I think someone can tell you everything and you just gotta do it.

• 1:13:26Speaker 03

  You are right about that, but I like to think I would have done things differently.

• 1:13:30Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm so stubborn. I know that even if I had a time machine and I personally went back to Dax at 28 and told him the truth, 28-year-old Dax would not give a fuck.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  You wouldn't be you without those things. That's the irony of all of it. That's how you get to the place you're at.

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  This is in the same vein of everything happens for a reason, which I strongly do not believe in.

• 1:13:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I'm not a fan of that.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't believe in that either.

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, and so some people, like when I've been in relationships for too long and I've had friends go, but that's how much time you needed to like figure things out. And I go, fuck that. I actually knew a year in.

• 1:14:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:03Speaker 03

  But my own personal drama led me to stay in that. And that is something that I think that if I had been aware of what childhood trauma does to you earlier, I would have made different decisions because I know people who make the decision I wish I would have made. So it's clearly possible.

• 1:14:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes. I, throughout this entire interview, another projection I'm making onto you.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 1:14:26Dax Shepard?

  Is I think you have a huge fear of the other shoe dropping.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:14:32Dax Shepard?

  And I have that too. When it's happy, that's weirdly the most dangerous time for me. When there really is a villain, which I've been hyper vigilant and preparing for, I've been practicing that. I know how to handle that. But happiness is like, oh, I know what's next. Every time I was happy.

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  Something bad comes.

• 1:14:48Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and I think that's, that's as hard to shake and maybe even harder to shake than the whole financial insecurity thing. That's a rough one.

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  A hundred percent. When I was diagnosed, I didn't realize this till a year afterwards or so. When I got the diagnosis, immediately the negative thoughts in my head, I dropped all of that because when you are diagnosed with cancer, you have one job.

• 1:15:10Dax Shepard?

  And streamlines your priorities pretty quickly, right?

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  And that's all your mind is thinking about. How do I get through this? How do I get through this? How do I live? How do I survive? Because there's no way to climb Everest with extra baggage on your shoulders. And I'm like, oh, now that I got to the other side, I can't imagine picking it back up. However, your old behaviors and old thoughts and patterns creep in. Years ago, I was in this almost plane crash situation and I was on The Daily Show and I remember I got back to The Daily Show like a few days later and I was telling John this story and he was like, what did you do in that moment? And I said, I saw the flight attendant drop to her knees crying, holding on as the plane was like shaking.

• 1:15:49Dax Shepard?

  They're like the parents on a flight. If they start crying, you know you're really fucked.

• 1:15:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, the oxygen things come down. It was the whole thing.

• 1:15:55Dax Shepard?

  The platinum package.

• 1:15:56Speaker 03

  Mm hmm. Yeah. Extreme fear unlocked. And then I kept saying to myself, I don't want to die. I don't want to be in a plane crash. And then it was like, oh, wait, I don't have an option. This is happening. And then the first thing I did was I had a BlackBerry and I removed the battery from the phone because we were above the water. And I thought, when we get into the water, I want to be able to put my phone back together to call for help.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:16:21Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:16:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's some real clear thinking.

• 1:16:24Speaker 03

  And he knew I had a lot of anxiety because I had talked to him about it. And he said, you see, when it mattered most, you didn't have anxiety. You didn't panic. And I was like, oh, my God, when it mattered most, I didn't panic.

• 1:16:36Dax Shepard?

  We suffer, you know, we suffer in our imagination more than we suffer in real life.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were just talking about this with someone else. Anxiety is about the future. You can't have anxiety in the present. When you are dealing with something that's right now, there's no anxiety. You're just dealing.

• 1:16:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:50Dax Shepard?

  Just handle your business.

• 1:16:51Speaker 03

  So that's what cancer did for me. I could not think about, it was literally one step at a time.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:58Speaker 03

  So when I have the thoughts that creep in, I think very quickly, let it go.

• 1:17:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Back to the whole money thing, someone could easily make an argument that yes, me waiting for this shoe to drop, I made it drop. Like, I don't think it's a coincidence. I relapse shortly after the money thing.

• 1:17:16Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 1:17:16Dax Shepard?

  It's like, I don't trust this. This is too good to be true. Again, none of this would ever be conscious, but it's just interesting that I kind of orchestrated a shoe dropping.

• 1:17:24Speaker 01

  It's a self sabotage. It's like, I can't lose it. So you kind of push the limit to see, can I?

• 1:17:30Speaker 03

  I already know it's going to happen, so let me do it now. Why sit here and be anxious about it happening?

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Let's just get there fast.

• 1:17:37Dax Shepard?

  Let's have the fight. Let's have the confrontation. Okay. The last thing I want to talk about, because I did not put in enough time on your friends and neighbors. I really, really love it. So it's examining the haves and the have nots, and also the one percenters and the insanity of it, and then trying to hold on to it, even if you know, like, that's all so fertile and juicy. The other thing that I find maddening is Jon Hamm's character. He and his wife have become divorced, which, let's give Amanda Peet a shout out. I think she's so fucking great in it. Your guys' scenes are so fun, and the dynamic that you guys have to play, where you're his new girlfriend, and she's the ex. All that stuff is so good, and I'm glad that you guys have a relationship.

• 1:18:13Speaker 03

  We connected right away.

• 1:18:14Dax Shepard?

  She's radical. I love her. But he just is marching through life, and he's vindicated. She cheated on me. Can't fucking stop saying it. She fucked another guy. This is the guy who fucked my wife. And I'm watching that, and it's maddening to me.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:18:27Dax Shepard?

  Because the notion that the only explanation for a divorce would be someone fucked somebody, ignores all of the things that really should cause a divorce, in my opinion. Like, were they completely isolated? Were they not meeting your needs? Were they not communicative? Were you alone with this person? All of these many elements, but it goes back to the sense of justice, and I have my plot point. I have my court case, which is she fucked somebody. And if I have that, I don't have to even evaluate, why did she fuck somebody? Did I play any role in that? Am I complacent in that at all?

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, there are a lot more complications in any dynamic like that. My mom told me a long time ago that she wishes that she had not let my father come back. He already made this decision, and she even agreed. She's like, look, there were dynamics with us that didn't work for a marriage. And she didn't tell me until... Literally last year, when we were talking about one of my close friends, who she knows very well, was going through a breakup and she wanted to get him back. And we were talking about it and my friend was there and she said something that she'd never said to me before, which I think would have been so impactful, not just in relationships, but friendships and work and everything. She said, when someone has told you they want to break up, you have to let them go because they have already decided their life would

• 1:19:47Speaker 03

  be better without you. When you put yourself in their position, instead of being like, you don't want to end this friendship, you don't want to end this relationship, you're casting the wrong person, or you guys want me, and what are you thinking? You've lost your mind, you're not thinking straight, or this is who I can be, or I can change myself.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  It's too late.

• 1:20:02Speaker 03

  You have to think about it from their position. Usually when someone does something, whatever it is, especially ending a relationship, a friendship, they have already done the thought process. This isn't a split second decision.

• 1:20:13Dax Shepard?

  This is the verdict, not the court trial.

• 1:20:15Speaker 03

  Yes. When people have already decided that their life would be better without you, that is a big, big thing that they're saying.

• 1:20:22Dax Shepard?

  That is true, and it is totally valid. But Kristin and I, years ago, we were asking people, would you rather your husband or your wife cheat on you or drive your kids while they're drunk?

• 1:20:36Speaker 03

  I mean, cheat on you.

• 1:20:38Dax Shepard?

  You would hope that would be the answer.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  What did most people say?

• 1:20:40Dax Shepard?

  Most people chose to drive their kids drunk.

• 1:20:42Speaker 01

  That is rough.

• 1:20:43Dax Shepard?

  And to me, that put into perspective a little bit. I think if you listed 10 things you wanted in a partner, you know, it'd be funny, intelligent, dependable, faithful. And as you found yourself in a marriage with them 10 years later, it's shocking to me that people let like eight of those things completely disappear, go unnurtured, unfixed, and they'll live with that. And that's fine. They can accept that. But then this other thing happens, which is also on the list, fidelity. And that... Is something that can't be overlooked, can't be worked out.

• 1:21:15Speaker 03

  I definitely understand what you're saying because all of that, under that umbrella, is coming from some kind of pain or insecurity.

• 1:21:26Dax Shepard?

  Insecurity, yeah.

• 1:21:26Speaker 01

  But also a feeling of not being safe. I don't think we're giving enough credit to that. We're all just trying to have safety. And so the idea that someone could cheat or fall out of love with you, that actually love and relationships are very tenuous, is scary.

• 1:21:42Dax Shepard?

  For sure.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  Makes you feel very unsafe.

• 1:21:44Dax Shepard?

  But in this show, Your Friends and Neighbors, at one point, John asked his ex-wife if she's okay. Simply, are you okay? He can observe that she's really rattled. And she basically says, in our entire marriage, you never asked me if I was okay one time. And so for me, if I get to pick whether Kristen fucked somebody and I never knew about it in Atlanta versus she never asked me if I was okay for 10 years, I would definitely pick her fucking someone in Atlanta.

• 1:22:09Speaker 03

  That moment I thought was interesting too, when I was reading the scripts. It's like, you never asked me. And I always think, well, I mean, even in real life, I've had that in relationships. Like, will you never ask me this? I'm like, is that a thing? Then you tell me that you want me to talk to you about this.

• 1:22:21Speaker 01

  I can't read your mind.

• 1:22:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. And also what I think is important, you know, the other day, I said that about something in my past that was coming up in the present. And I was like, well, you've never asked me more about this. He clocked in. He's like, oh, my God, I'm sorry. Because I wanted to receive it from you. And I wanted to be there to listen to everything. And I was like, yeah, but I need you to ask me more questions about it to kind of

• 1:22:40Dax Shepard?

  Give the ball rolling, yes.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  Yes. And help me. And he didn't realize that.

• 1:22:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:45Speaker 03

  And so now he brings it up in just random moments, but he can't read my mind.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Speaker 03

  So you're saying, well, yeah, he hasn't been for this long. But I'm saying, she allowed it to go this long.

• 1:22:55Speaker 01

  You should have said, that's a need I have. Please meet it.

• 1:22:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And then if she stated it and then he didn't address it, which is often happens in relationships. I just think it's interesting what we're willing to overlook and what we're not.

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:07Dax Shepard?

  I know people have gotten divorced. They hated their partner for like six years and then one of them cheated and then they're out. I'm like, well, you should be out, but you should have been out six years ago.

• 1:23:16Speaker 03

  Sometimes maybe it just gave them the excuse. Someone needs to have a big break in morals so they can say, this is not okay.

• 1:23:22Dax Shepard?

  We need a blow for the scene.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  It's hard. It's hard to just be like, we're not good anymore. That's a really hard thing for people to come to terms with. I think it's much easier to be like, yeah, this big bad thing happened.

• 1:23:34Speaker 03

  I've thought about why I would stay in uncomfortable situations for so long, even if I was actively talking about how miserable I was.

• 1:23:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:42Speaker 03

  It's kind of like our posture. When you hunch over, if somebody tells you to sit up straight and you try to sit up straight, it's kind of hard on your muscles and you're like, this feels weird. This doesn't feel right. So you naturally want to go like this because this is more comfortable. But as you slouch and you're in this more comfortable position, because you haven't strengthened your back muscles, you will keep hunching over and over and over. And as you get older, you'll keep hunching over. So to do the more uncomfortable thing is the right thing to do. But we so often spend our time in things that are comfortable.

• 1:24:13Dax Shepard?

  In the short term.

• 1:24:14Speaker 03

  In the short term.

• 1:24:15Dax Shepard?

  It's crazy how much of our life is governed by avoiding just a bit of discomfort.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really true.

• 1:24:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, this has been spectacular.

• 1:24:21Speaker 03

  This is so much fun. I have been listening to you guys for years. I have to say, I love your new space.

• 1:24:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:24:28Speaker 03

  It's very, very pretty.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  But you miss the attic?

• 1:24:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:24:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  I thought there was a butt coming.

• 1:24:34Dax Shepard?

  I thought it was going the other way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:35Speaker 03

  Visually, the attic was a lot for me to take in. Well, thank you for coming to this therapy session.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, thanks for having us.

• 1:24:42Speaker 03

  The door is right there. You can see yourself out. Please take some Pellegrino.

• 1:24:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm so delighted there's a season two because I love your show and you're fantastic on it. All right, Olivia.

• 1:24:51Speaker 03

  Love you guys.

• 1:24:51Dax Shepard?

  Adore you.

• 1:24:52Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. Yes, come back.

• 1:24:54Speaker 03

  Okay, tomorrow?

• 1:24:56Dax Shepard?

  Tomorrow.

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  Come back in an hour.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  It's the last day of school.

• 1:25:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh my gosh. Did you wake up with a spring in your step?

• 1:25:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:16Speaker 01

  I, um, I woke up like it was the last day of school and, um, and I was like, maybe I'll wear a wacky outfit. Sometimes you wear a wacky outfit on last day of school. You wear pajamas to school.

• 1:25:28Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  I thought about wearing my pajamas, but then I thought, no, I'm gonna probably go get lunch after the, I'm gonna be free.

• 1:25:37Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  And I don't think I should wear pajamas to wherever I go. What if I go to Sunset Tower?

• 1:25:45Dax Shepard?

  And you don't want, well, also cool.

• 1:25:48Speaker 01

  It could be.

• 1:25:48Dax Shepard?

  You know that broad, she's, she wears pajamas, like she's eccentric. This is what people would say. Yeah. Do you like always wear pajamas to Sunset Tower?

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  Um, I need, I have an update for people. The hotel canceled my reservation.

• 1:26:03Dax Shepard?

  They did?

• 1:26:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:26:04Dax Shepard?

  What, how did it all shake out?

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  We're, I'm just, I have to double check to make sure that the credit card remove, you know, charges removed, but they did cancel it.

• 1:26:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  And I am very, very, very appreciative.

• 1:26:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  I feel that I can return to Rosewood as I like.

• 1:26:25Dax Shepard?

  Happy guest.

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  As a very happy guest.

• 1:26:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  Um, so that was really nice. I feel guilty because I have a sense this show might be connected to that.

• 1:26:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh, uh huh.

• 1:26:38Speaker 01

  Potentially it got back.

• 1:26:40Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. Yeah. And you don't want to wield your powers selfishly.

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  I do want to, but I don't think it's fair for other people.

• 1:26:49Dax Shepard?

  Well, this is the age old debate.

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:51Dax Shepard?

  It's, um, this is like canceling prom because some people didn't get invited. It's like.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  That just hurt.

• 1:26:58Dax Shepard?

  One person got refunded is better than no people got refunded.

• 1:27:01Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:27:02Dax Shepard?

  Right?

• 1:27:03Speaker 01

  I also think. Maybe this is just twist, a twisted way for me to feel good about it.

• 1:27:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  But I do think when things like this happen, sometimes it's a lesson for whoever is on the other side of this. Because you really, you don't know who anyone is, who you're fucking with. You don't know who they will be. You don't know anything about them.

• 1:27:25Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:27:25Speaker 01

  So you should just always treat people as if they have a podcast.

• 1:27:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes. So I too woke up with that excitement, but also so many things to do to leave in the bus.

• 1:27:36Speaker 01

  People don't even know what's going on.

• 1:27:37Dax Shepard?

  We're going on our, our summer.

• 1:27:39Speaker 01

  We have a summer kind of break.

• 1:27:41Dax Shepard?

  I'm going in the bus up to Idaho.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Dax Shepard?

  And so there's a ton of packing that goes on in the bus. And I've been completely not involved because we've been working so much.

• 1:27:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:53Dax Shepard?

  So today we finish and now I do all the bus loading that the family's been doing for two weeks. I'll do in a few hours because now I've decided I'm, I'm definitely leaving tonight.

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  Cool.

• 1:28:05Dax Shepard?

  Very, very excited about being behind the wheel of the bus. I mean, I just can't wait. Especially, you know, my favorite thing about the bus is I'm completely unaccountable and I love it.

• 1:28:15Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:28:16Dax Shepard?

  I'm driving a bus, so it's like I can't respond to an email. I can't respond to a text. I can't be asked to do anything because I can't do more than just drive the bus.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:26Dax Shepard?

  And my mental disposition is such that I need that kind of an excuse to really feel totally free. Just go like, oh, this is all I'm doing, looking at scenery go by. What'd you do last night?

• 1:28:39Speaker 01

  I did watch a little more last night of my sexy show.

• 1:28:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:28:45Speaker 01

  Now, my friend who told me about the sexy show, who I wasn't outing, said I could out her.

• 1:28:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 1:28:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:28:51Dax Shepard?

  She wants to be known as a curator of sexy shows.

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  Yes, Kate Mara.

• 1:28:55Dax Shepard?

  Kate Mara, yeah.

• 1:28:56Speaker 01

  Kate taught me about this sexy show and we've been discussing it a lot.

• 1:29:00Dax Shepard?

  Taught me. What kind of discussions do you have?

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Mainly like, I don't like doing this because I don't want to be negative. But I, but I mainly, um, we send voice notes and I mainly say, this show is bad.

• 1:29:12Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  But I like it. Like I want to keep watching it. It's kind of messing with my identity because I don't, um, consider myself someone who.

• 1:29:24Speaker 01

  Hate watches things?

• 1:29:25Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:29:26Speaker 01

  I guess I understand it, but it's not my MO.

• 1:29:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I've only had a couple of those.

• 1:29:30Speaker 01

  You had a couple?

• 1:29:31Dax Shepard?

  There's a movie that we hate so much that we committed to watching it once a year. We haven't upheld that commitment, but we did watch it many, many times. And it's on a certain day of the year we're supposed to watch it.

• 1:29:41Speaker 01

  You did that?

• 1:29:43Dax Shepard?

  So I have one, and then, of course, the room you're watching in on the joke.

• 1:29:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, but even that, like, I can only, I can't, I'm not someone who can keep going back to that. Like, fun for one time.

• 1:29:55Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:29:55Speaker 01

  But that's good, because there's too many good things to watch that I haven't watched.

• 1:30:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:00Speaker 01

  But here we are.

• 1:30:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:03Speaker 01

  Even though no one is redeemable. Like, I don't like either of the two main characters.

• 1:30:10Dax Shepard?

  Do they have sex once an episode? Is it like a procedural in that you're gonna get a shootout in a cop show, like?

• 1:30:17Speaker 01

  Every five minutes.

• 1:30:18Dax Shepard?

  Every five minutes?

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  I mean, there's multiple couples, so there's multiple sex scenes.

• 1:30:22Dax Shepard?

  Wow, do you have a favorite couple?

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  In season two, what I just started, there's a professor storyline.

• 1:30:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:30:30Speaker 01

  Made for me, and he is hot and he has an accent. He kind of looks like a foreign Bradley Cooper. He could be Bradley's foreign cousin.

• 1:30:40Dax Shepard?

  His foreign doppelganger?

• 1:30:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:43Dax Shepard?

  From what country?

• 1:30:43Speaker 01

  Easter egg. I'm not good at that.

• 1:30:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Not England, no?

• 1:30:49Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 1:30:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you're not even good, you can't even say if it's an English accent?

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  For some reason, I think they're French, based off of, like, maybe one of the episodes I was half-watching, but they, he sounds, uh, English.

• 1:31:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:31:03Speaker 01

  So I don't know, it doesn't matter.

• 1:31:05Dax Shepard?

  It doesn't matter, he's a professor.

• 1:31:07Speaker 01

  Absolutely doesn't matter.

• 1:31:08Dax Shepard?

  He speaks the original language.

• 1:31:10Speaker 01

  He's a Welsh actor. Welsh?

• 1:31:12Dax Shepard?

  There you go.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 1:31:14Dax Shepard?

  Sure, Great Britain.

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  It reminded me, I don't know if I should say this.

• 1:31:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:31:20Speaker 01

  I like really, I guess today it's like...

• 1:31:24Speaker 01

  Pants off, you know?

• 1:31:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:31:26Speaker 01

  We're saying everything.

• 1:31:26Dax Shepard?

  Last day of school.

• 1:31:27Speaker 01

  Cause it's last day of school.

• 1:31:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you gotta tell your crush, you like him, your best friend, you love him.

• 1:31:32Speaker 01

  Okay, it reminded me that this crazy thing happened in college. There was a professor, there were two professors, a man and a woman.

• 1:31:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  Sounds like the beginning of a riddle.

• 1:31:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:44Speaker 01

  And they, uh, they were new the year that I, my freshman year. They came in to the theater department.

• 1:31:51Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  One was an acting teacher and one was also in the theater department, but I don't know.

• 1:31:56Dax Shepard?

  In what capacity?

• 1:31:57Speaker 01

  Exactly, I forget, like, he taught some, something else.

• 1:32:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:32:02Speaker 01

  I had all my classes with the woman, cause I was an acting actor.

• 1:32:09Speaker 01

  And we also had a grad program that had, you know, like 10 or 12, whatever, MFA students.

• 1:32:16Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  They were young.

• 1:32:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:18Speaker 01

  Obviously, to me, they were old.

• 1:32:20Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  But, um, in the middle of the year, one of the MFA students had an affair with the male professor.

• 1:32:28Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:32:30Speaker 01

  And the female professor found out.

• 1:32:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  And they're all, like, she's in her class.

• 1:32:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:39Speaker 01

  It was so dramatic, and I might be making this part up, I don't think I am.

• 1:32:45Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  I think I knew.

• 1:32:47Dax Shepard?

  Before it came out? Because you saw-

• 1:32:49Speaker 01

  Before she knew.

• 1:32:50Dax Shepard?

  -secret stuff happening between-

• 1:32:52Speaker 01

  I had an in with one of the MFA, um, uh, students. She knew.

• 1:32:58Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:32:58Speaker 01

  Because she was friends with the girl.

• 1:33:00Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:33:01Speaker 01

  And she told us.

• 1:33:03Dax Shepard?

  What's your ethical position? Let's say this is a grad student.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:06Dax Shepard?

  So let's say this is a 23-year-old lady.

• 1:33:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:33:09Dax Shepard?

  Or 22-year-old woman.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:11Dax Shepard?

  And let's say the visiting professor was 30.

• 1:33:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:33:14Dax Shepard?

  What are your ethics on this?

• 1:33:16Speaker 01

  Um, you mean like morally age wise?

• 1:33:19Dax Shepard?

  Well, just the whole situation.

• 1:33:21Speaker 01

  I mean, age wa- age wise is not as much of an issue. Yes, the issue is.

• 1:33:28Dax Shepard?

  Position of power.

• 1:33:29Speaker 01

  Position of power breach.

• 1:33:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:31Speaker 01

  Mixed with he's married and has children.

• 1:33:34Dax Shepard?

  I didn't know that part.

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  Oh, they're married. Sorry.

• 1:33:37Dax Shepard?

  The two teachers?

• 1:33:38Speaker 01

  Yes. Oh, that was a huge.

• 1:33:40Dax Shepard?

  No, I, I thought it was just like a new professor.

• 1:33:43Speaker 01

  No, the two teachers were married. They came in together and they had two children.

• 1:33:49Dax Shepard?

  That's then the people that heard me say, what's the morals of this think I'm insane? No, of course, this is problematic.

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  They were married.

• 1:33:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:33:56Speaker 01

  And then he had an affair with one of the MFA students. And then this MFA student is in class with the wife.

• 1:34:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. Hard to get an A in that.

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  Hard to get an A. And then there was like, I feel like there was like a rumor that like the teacher had a gun. I mean, I'm, I feel nervous talking about this because these are still people.

• 1:34:15Dax Shepard?

  And your details are like, you're not super certain on it. Like I think you just said that one of the teachers had a gun. Is that what you were about to say?

• 1:34:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:24Dax Shepard?

  I mean, that sounds.

• 1:34:25Speaker 01

  Listen, that was part, there was like a gun in her car. Like she started going, obviously, obviously. The, the female professor started going a little crazy because of this.

• 1:34:37Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:34:38Speaker 01

  Understandably.

• 1:34:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:40Speaker 01

  And, um, and it, but it, look, it was complicated. The, the MFA student, people are going to be mad at me for saying this, was wonderful. Like she was such a nice person. She was so lovely.

• 1:34:52Dax Shepard?

  To have an affair.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, but people think that. And also like, okay, how do I say this? He was hot.

• 1:35:00Dax Shepard?

  That's another one of your faces I'd be able to say, if there were flashcards and it just had pictures of your face.

• 1:35:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:06Dax Shepard?

  And I could say what you were, what was going on.

• 1:35:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:08Dax Shepard?

  I would, the face you just showed would be like, she's figuring out which details she's going to let out in this next sentence.

• 1:35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're like running through. Okay.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  Cause I'm trying to.

• 1:35:19Dax Shepard?

  So he was hot.

• 1:35:20Speaker 01

  He was hot, the professor. The woman.

• 1:35:25Speaker 01

  I felt like he was taking advantage of her.

• 1:35:27Dax Shepard?

  Of the student or the wife?

• 1:35:29Speaker 01

  Well, I guess, I guess both.

• 1:35:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:32Speaker 01

  But the student, I know in my heart.

• 1:35:34Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:35:35Speaker 01

  She felt so like this hot person likes me. And that's hard to resist. Anyway, it was just, it's kind of all heartbreaking. But it was dramatic and I hate, it was fun.

• 1:35:49Dax Shepard?

  Sure. Yeah, drama is fun.

• 1:35:51Speaker 01

  In, in the drama department of all places.

• 1:35:54Dax Shepard?

  Yes, gossip's fun. We're, we're kind of hardwired to like it.

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  And me and my friend who knew about it were really like, you know, keeping our, it was, it was such an interesting thing to sort of follow.

• 1:36:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's another weird thing we enjoy. Unfortunately, it's like if we are in on a secret, most people aren't, we all like.

• 1:36:12Speaker 01

  Why do we like that?

• 1:36:14Dax Shepard?

  I know, because I guess you're on the inside circle or something. Maybe there's status somehow attached to it.

• 1:36:19Speaker 01

  Or trust, you feel trusted.

• 1:36:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, trusted brand.

• 1:36:23Speaker 01

  Very trusted brand. We were trusted. We didn't tell anyone, except now I'm telling a lot of people.

• 1:36:28Dax Shepard?

  Right, but that was many years ago and everything was probably, how did it end?

• 1:36:35Speaker 01

  Yours, you tell me.

• 1:36:37Dax Shepard?

  You don't know. The student stayed and got her masters? That you think they got a divorce during that semester?

• 1:36:43Speaker 01

  Uh, it was my senior year, this all happened. So I, I don't know what happened after that. My guess is they got a divorce. And she shot him.

• 1:36:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:36:54Speaker 01

  I'm kidding, I'm kidding. And that's not funny.

• 1:36:57Dax Shepard?

  No, it's not funny.

• 1:37:00Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:37:12Speaker 01

  Okay, pivoting.

• 1:37:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:14Speaker 01

  I saw something. Funny. I mean, not that I want to give him any attention.

• 1:37:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:19Speaker 01

  But I did see, oh, I meant to save it, but I didn't. Fuck. It was a video of Trump, um, talking about his very rich friend who's on the

• 1:37:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:37:32Speaker 01

  Fat shot. Have you seen this?

• 1:37:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I've sent that meme to people because it's got a quote from him. Yeah, he's like, his friend who's super rich, but he says really three terrible things about his friend. Like, most of his employees hate him. He's on that fat drug.

• 1:37:47Speaker 01

  He keeps calling it the fat shot.

• 1:37:48Dax Shepard?

  The fat shot.

• 1:37:50Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:37:50Dax Shepard?

  Working for him, but he says like three negative things about his friend.

• 1:37:54Speaker 01

  Let's see if I can find it.

• 1:37:55Dax Shepard?

  If you had a friend that described you that way.

• 1:37:57Speaker 01

  Oh. Trying to explain the weight loss drug disparity because that one's just so obvious. And in a way that only Trump can take a listen to that one.

• 1:38:05Speaker 06

  I mean, I'll tell you a story. A friend of mine who's a businessman, very, very, very top guy. Most of you would have heard of him.

• 1:38:13Dax Shepard?

  Top guy.

• 1:38:14Speaker 06

  Highly neurotic, brilliant businessman, seriously overweight.

• 1:38:19Dax Shepard?

  Seriously overweight.

• 1:38:20Speaker 06

  And he takes the fat, the fat shot drug.

• 1:38:23Dax Shepard?

  He takes the fat shot.

• 1:38:24Speaker 06

  And he called me up and he said, uh, President, he calls me, he used to call me Donald. Now he calls me President. So it's nice respect, but you're a rough guy, smart guy.

• 1:38:34Speaker 01

  Rough guy.

• 1:38:35Speaker 06

  Can I ask you a question? What? I'm in London and I just paid for this damn fat drug I take. I said, it's not working. He said, he said.

• 1:38:45Dax Shepard?

  I said, it's not working.

• 1:38:46Speaker 06

  I just paid eighty-eight dollars and in New York I paid thirteen hundred dollars. What the hell is going on?

• 1:38:55Dax Shepard?

  By the way, can you imagine if you were friends with the president? Like, I have these ethical dilemmas. I have access to people.

• 1:39:03Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:39:04Dax Shepard?

  And I would never, we interviewed Mayor Garcetti. And when we left, he said, here's my phone number. Of course, I would never, ever reach out to our mayor with any personal problem.

• 1:39:13Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:39:15Dax Shepard?

  And the notion that I'd be friends with the president and I call, I gotta get the president on the phone. I'm in England right now and I just spent eighty-eight dollars on my, my medication and I spent thirteen hundred.

• 1:39:24Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:39:25Dax Shepard?

  Bringing that small personal grievance to the president's attention.

• 1:39:30Speaker 01

  Well, this is a very rough guy.

• 1:39:32Dax Shepard?

  He's a rough guy. He's an erotic severely overweight.

• 1:39:36Speaker 01

  Seriously.

• 1:39:36Dax Shepard?

  Seriously overweight.

• 1:39:37Speaker 01

  I was happy I was able to laugh because I did spend a lot of time yesterday being very angry.

• 1:39:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:39:43Speaker 01

  At the current state.

• 1:39:45Dax Shepard?

  Administration.

• 1:39:46Speaker 01

  This administration. I probably will have to cut this because I don't, I don't, I want to put anyone in danger, but I was very upset yesterday based on some information I got about the current situation.

• 1:39:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:58Speaker 01

  Here with deportations. But then I was able to laugh at his just, he's just so ridiculous.

• 1:40:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  He's so ridiculous. My mom, you know, I texted my parents about that, this update.

• 1:40:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:12Speaker 01

  And, you know, there was a whole flurry back and forth and my mom referred to Trump as DT.

• 1:40:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's what she calls him?

• 1:40:21Speaker 01

  I, I guess. That's the first time I've seen that.

• 1:40:24Dax Shepard?

  He has a nickname.

• 1:40:25Speaker 01

  And I got stressed out.

• 1:40:26Dax Shepard?

  You didn't like that? What would you want her to call him? Just Trump?

• 1:40:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, like.

• 1:40:30Dax Shepard?

  What about Maria, the orange president? If she said that, would that be?

• 1:40:34Speaker 01

  That's also fine, but I prefer Trump because DT feels too like this is YouTube.

• 1:40:41Dax Shepard?

  Inside.

• 1:40:42Speaker 01

  He's just too YouTube-y.

• 1:40:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she's YouTube generation.

• 1:40:45Speaker 01

  And then my dad responded by also calling him DT as a joke.

• 1:40:47Dax Shepard?

  I guess they're doing it as a family.

• 1:40:49Speaker 01

  He was, no, his was a joke.

• 1:40:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:40:53Speaker 01

  It's so weird. God, role reversals. Like, it's so weird, my mom being on YouTube like this.

• 1:41:00Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and you thinking she's on it too much?

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:41:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:03Speaker 01

  Like, I need to police her screen time.

• 1:41:06Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes. And you do.

• 1:41:08Speaker 01

  I do. It doesn't work because I don't have power.

• 1:41:10Dax Shepard?

  I had to have a very serious sit down with my mom about her news consumption. To her credit, because I also have the opinion, your parents are never going to change. It's always a waste of every syllable.

• 1:41:21Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:41:21Dax Shepard?

  And it's just tension you don't need.

• 1:41:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:24Dax Shepard?

  But with this said, my mom mother was in a state that I felt, I felt warranted for me to offer this unsolicited advice.

• 1:41:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:30Dax Shepard?

  Anyway, she, she took it and she has like cut her news consumption by like 90%.

• 1:41:35Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:41:35Dax Shepard?

  She's so much happier. It's crazy.

• 1:41:36Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:41:37Dax Shepard?

  There are these, I've seen these studies pop up where it's like the, they have the empirical data that consuming more news is worse for your mental health.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  Oh, of course.

• 1:41:46Dax Shepard?

  It's like it's directly, yeah.

• 1:41:47Speaker 01

  Of course. But it is interesting. We've had a few people on who've referenced older people on YouTube. And it's, it's been like a clicking with me that this is a thing. They're all on YouTube.

• 1:42:01Dax Shepard?

  I bet the growth is exploding because they're retiring. Your mom just retired.

• 1:42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:05Dax Shepard?

  They have time and they have this phone in their hand and now they're figuring it out and good for them. Old dogs, new tricks. I think what's interesting is people are really in the micro details of everything that happens in this country. Like you hear about something at any convenience store at any state. Now I'm following Iran, Israel really closely. I read everything I can about it that comes out. Trying to figure out like, what is the overarching game plan?

• 1:42:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:33Dax Shepard?

  And I'm finding my friends are largely not interested in that.

• 1:42:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:39Dax Shepard?

  And I'm a little, I guess judgmental. I'm like,

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 1:42:42Dax Shepard?

  This one has real end life on planet earth repercussions.

• 1:42:48Speaker 01

  Things affect people differently. I, I think it's okay.

• 1:42:51Dax Shepard?

  I'm following accounts that like they've, they're on their 11th post about what's going to happen to the prices of gas in California.

• 1:42:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:58Dax Shepard?

  And granted, yeah, it's, we have way too much fucking tax on our gas here. It's insane. It's going to go to $8. And it only punishes poor people. It doesn't, the rich people, I give a fuck. They're in an electric car. So bad policy. I'm against it. But the notion that you'd have 10 posts about gas prices and you're not even interested in like a nuclear

• 1:43:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:19Dax Shepard?

  country at war with one that is expressed a desire to, it's, it's like, it's, it's, there's something very, very dramatic happening. And I, I don't think people are.

• 1:43:28Speaker 01

  But they might not be getting served that information. They just might not even know like, oh, there's, yeah, there's something happening, but I don't really know.

• 1:43:36Dax Shepard?

  That's my kind of point is like, we're so navel gazy that like, yeah, it doesn't make the algorithm. It doesn't make the.

• 1:43:44Speaker 01

  That's why everything's fucked up.

• 1:43:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:46Speaker 01

  This is the problem that he, he does create so much craziness that you don't know where to look and you get overwhelmed.

• 1:43:55Dax Shepard?

  And that's what I'm always kind of raising, that's what I'm trying to raise a flag is like, it's, it's pageantry and it's performative. And people are falling for it.

• 1:44:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's also not because he has people who. Like he is, he's just says, he doesn't know, he's just saying stuff. He's just saying what the person next to him is telling him to say.

• 1:44:13Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think he's really great at dropping little bombs that he knows the liberals will wind up the whole machine about. I think he's definitely in on that. He knows how he's playing that.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  Oh, no, for sure, but, but I'm saying he, but he doesn't really care. Like, do I think he personally cares about immigrants in this country? No. He knows it riles people up.

• 1:44:33Dax Shepard?

  He definitely recognizes, this is the point I keep making. Uh, and again, anyone's being deported, I'm not trying to minimize. It's, it's absolutely horrible, but it's all symbolic. It's, it's not a net increase in our deportations.

• 1:44:48Speaker 01

  Currently.

• 1:44:48Dax Shepard?

  And he knows we can't deport all these people that work in all these industries. Like, he also understands the finances of it. He knows about farming, he knows about service and hotel.

• 1:44:58Speaker 01

  Then, yeah, so now he's in a weird position where he's trying to backtrack some and it's confusing.

• 1:45:03Dax Shepard?

  Well, he wants both. He wants to put on a play where his base says, yeah, he's going harder than anyone's going after him, which is just not true.

• 1:45:12Speaker 01

  But Stephen Miller is not him. I guess that's, he like has people in charge that have real conviction about the thing itself. And that's what's scary, you know, because I don't know.

• 1:45:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, those underlings will have a longer attention span than him.

• 1:45:27Speaker 01

  Exactly. Anywho, um, back to my mom real quick. I, because I just am ill of her. I love her.

• 1:45:33Dax Shepard?

  I love her. Nermi is the best.

• 1:45:34Speaker 01

  She really is, and I.

• 1:45:36Dax Shepard?

  She's a southern woman. I love that about her.

• 1:45:39Speaker 01

  Southern belle.

• 1:45:39Dax Shepard?

  She is.

• 1:45:41Speaker 01

  But listen, I, I've been thinking about her because, um, we do so much revisionist history in our head about our families and especially our parents, I think.

• 1:45:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  And I had all of a sudden this like memory pop up. I don't know how it happened, but I, maybe because ER, AIDS, you know, all of that.

• 1:46:08Speaker 01

  I remember that my mom and I used to watch it a lot.

• 1:46:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, in her bed.

• 1:46:13Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:46:13Speaker 01

  And then I was like, oh yeah, we used to watch like HGTV, all the shows and we used to watch all these things. And then I would make her scratch my arm and she would just scratch my arm for so long.

• 1:46:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we'll do that.

• 1:46:27Speaker 01

  And I do have, which is so clear, it's unfair. I have this idea that there was like no affection.

• 1:46:33Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:46:34Speaker 01

  But there, obviously there was.

• 1:46:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:37Speaker 01

  And I think that's really not good, that I forgot.

• 1:46:42Dax Shepard?

  I've done the same to my father.

• 1:46:44Speaker 01

  It's so bad. Oh, and I, when I was home last, I got, you know, I took some old pictures. And there's like this picture and I framed it, it's of my mom. And with her little baby, me, and she's like kissing me and she's so affectionate.

• 1:46:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, she loved her little Monica.

• 1:47:00Speaker 01

  I know, she still does.

• 1:47:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:03Speaker 01

  It's just very like, you know, you can't trust anything we think.

• 1:47:09Dax Shepard?

  I know. And it's so unfair to everyone in our lives, basically.

• 1:47:13Speaker 01

  It's so unfair.

• 1:47:14Dax Shepard?

  I know. I've been trying to think of, as much time as I spend writing in my book, I spend time thinking of the foreword I have to write.

• 1:47:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:22Dax Shepard?

  Because I need to say like, these are 20 stories of literally 1 million.

• 1:47:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:29Dax Shepard?

  And 999,000 of them were so fun and lovely and beautiful and, but that's not what stories are made of. They're made of these 20 things I'm gonna tell you. But it's, in general, it's so unfair to my mom and my dad.

• 1:47:45Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:47:46Dax Shepard?

  Because I'm just taking out the interesting bits that happen to be kind of dramatic.

• 1:47:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:51Dax Shepard?

  And the vast bulk of all of it, it was just unadulterated love.

• 1:47:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:57Dax Shepard?

  And I'm so lucky. Minimally, both of my parents were wild about me.

• 1:48:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:04Dax Shepard?

  And some people can't say that.

• 1:48:06Speaker 01

  A lot of people.

• 1:48:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:08Speaker 01

  It's very upsetting. I feel bad. I feel really guilty.

• 1:48:12Dax Shepard?

  Good. Keep watching your show.

• 1:48:15Speaker 01

  My sexy show.

• 1:48:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's stick, focus on that.

• 1:48:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:48:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:18Speaker 01

  Someone has a bad mom in that show. Two bad moms.

• 1:48:22Dax Shepard?

  Sure, they're usually a target.

• 1:48:24Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:48:25Dax Shepard?

  I know, I know.

• 1:48:26Speaker 01

  So unfair.

• 1:48:27Dax Shepard?

  No good deed.

• 1:48:28Speaker 01

  God, alright.

• 1:48:29Dax Shepard?

  Want to do some facties?

• 1:48:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's do some facts. Okay, so I looked up why malls are lit like that. A grievance.

• 1:48:38Dax Shepard?

  Your grievance.

• 1:48:39Speaker 01

  A grievance we all, all have.

• 1:48:41Dax Shepard?

  A universal grievance. See, when you made it more specific, it made sense. It didn't make sense until you said the changing rooms.

• 1:48:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, when you're trying on clothes.

• 1:48:49Dax Shepard?

  When I use a mall, I'm picturing the big corridor you're walking down, not the stores.

• 1:48:53Speaker 01

  Well, it's basically this exact same lighting, and I don't understand that at all.

• 1:48:59Dax Shepard?

  Maybe, how about this is reverse psychology?

• 1:49:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:49:02Dax Shepard?

  They want you to feel so ugly that you're like, I have to buy this thing to make myself feel better.

• 1:49:09Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:49:10Dax Shepard?

  And I need something to cover up how ugly I am.

• 1:49:13Speaker 01

  My dysmorphia.

• 1:49:14Dax Shepard?

  Because what is the incentive to make everyone look bad?

• 1:49:16Speaker 01

  I, I don't know.

• 1:49:18Dax Shepard?

  Everything's a science now, isn't it? Like, they must know you look bad.

• 1:49:21Speaker 01

  Well, it might be part of why malls are shutting down all over the country. There aren't very many indoor malls left.

• 1:49:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think that's online rea- that's, that's.

• 1:49:30Speaker 01

  But even the malls, I think, that live are outdoor. Although they still have, they still have indoor dressing. Okay, there's a common perception that some malls have poor or unflattering lighting, and there are several reasons why this might be the case. Strategic design choices. Creating a specific atmosphere. Some retailers, especially those in high-end fashion, or those aiming for a luxurious feel, deliberately use dim lighting. No, that's, that's the whole point, is that. Oh, oh, this is a good one.

• 1:50:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:50:03Speaker 01

  Encouraging impulse buys.

• 1:50:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:50:06Speaker 01

  Dim lighting can also subtly influence shoppers to prioritize pleasure over practicality, leading to more impulse purchases. I don't understand this, because it's not dim, it's bright. Yeah.

• 1:50:18Dax Shepard?

  Because that makes you feel romantic slash daring, throwing caution to the wind, tomorrow never comes vibes.

• 1:50:25Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:50:26Dax Shepard?

  I don't buy that.

• 1:50:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a, okay.

• 1:50:28Dax Shepard?

  I can't remember being in a dark changing room.

• 1:50:31Speaker 01

  No, never. Fitting rooms. Many shoppers report that fitting room lighting can be particularly unflattering, often due to poorly positioned or harsh overhead lighting that casts unflattering shadows.

• 1:50:43Speaker 01

  Okay, so we still don't know why.

• 1:50:44Dax Shepard?

  You just read what you said. Now it's been substantiated.

• 1:50:49Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:50:50Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:50:51Speaker 01

  I mean, I then my leading theory is not the cause, but the effect is that malls are shutting down all over the country. And if they just fix this lighting, I wonder what would happen.

• 1:51:05Dax Shepard?

  You gotta wonder. It's definitely a cost-saving strategy.

• 1:51:10Speaker 01

  The lighting?

• 1:51:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it was cheaper to have the shitty standard lights than...

• 1:51:14Speaker 01

  Okay, um, she said OCD overlaps with hoarding. She said OCD overlaps with hoarding. It says, yes, they they can overlap, but they are distinct conditions. It says hoarding can be a symptom of OCD and can exist as a separate disorder. Uh, if you guys missed the OCD episode, that was a really fantastic episode.

• 1:51:37Dax Shepard?

  Absolutely.

• 1:51:38Speaker 01

  And we recommend you go back in the archives.

• 1:51:41Dax Shepard?

  Take a gander. Take a stroll.

• 1:51:43Speaker 01

  Some have estimated that up to one in four with OCD also struggle with compulsive hoarding.

• 1:51:49Dax Shepard?

  Hmm, that's a high percentage.

• 1:51:50Speaker 01

  I DM'd Olivia to ask her to send a picture of her uncles greased up.

• 1:51:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:51:56Speaker 01

  She didn't respond. Okay.

• 1:51:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so. Let the record reflect.

• 1:52:02Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:52:03Dax Shepard?

  I certainly want to see that picture.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  I know. The doc last days, she said it was called last days of last days of Saigon or final days of Saigon. It's called Last Days in Vietnam.

• 1:52:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:52:16Speaker 01

  If you want to check that out.

• 1:52:17Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:52:18Speaker 01

  Okay, she said Amanda Seyfried, um, turned down a big role. And then she said, you know, she doesn't regret it because this was where she was in her life. Now I'm seeing an interview of her talking about how she turned down. She turned down Guardians of the Galaxy.

• 1:52:36Dax Shepard?

  Who did?

• 1:52:37Speaker 01

  Amanda Seyfried.

• 1:52:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:52:39Speaker 01

  So I think that's the role she's talking about.

• 1:52:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:52:42Speaker 01

  And spoiler.

• 1:52:45Speaker 01

  Ding ding ding. That's all I could say.

• 1:52:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 1:52:49Speaker 01

  Easter egg. It's an Easter egg.

• 1:52:52Dax Shepard?

  That was a good one, because I didn't even know what you were talking about.

• 1:52:54Speaker 01

  But do you now?

• 1:52:54Dax Shepard?

  Now I do.

• 1:52:55Speaker 01

  It's an Easter egg for an upcoming episode. But also, hold on, I'm gonna play a little bit.

• 1:52:59Dax Shepard?

  Where a special outfit will be worn.

• 1:53:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 1:53:04Dax Shepard?

  How soon we forget.

• 1:53:05Speaker 01

  I know. Anyway, it was Guardians of the Galaxy.

• 1:53:08Dax Shepard?

  Great.

• 1:53:09Speaker 01

  Oh, the lifetime risk assessment test for breast cancer.

• 1:53:14Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:53:15Speaker 01

  Is at, it's on her Instagram in her bio. But it's also magview.com slash B I S dash risk dash calculator. If you Google it, just go to the magview one.

• 1:53:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I don't have to take it.

• 1:53:32Speaker 01

  I was gonna do it. I don't know how long it is.

• 1:53:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah, you should do it.

• 1:53:37Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm gonna do it for sure, but I was gonna do it on here.

• 1:53:41Dax Shepard?

  I just heard someone else's story and I just, what I don't like about these stories is

• 1:53:48Dax Shepard?

  you think you would, it would be detected, but it doesn't get detected.

• 1:53:52Speaker 01

  It's really scary.

• 1:53:53Dax Shepard?

  It's almost, it's a miracle how some of these people end up getting detected.

• 1:53:56Speaker 01

  It does seem like this is fast because there's just a little questionnaire, then family history, and then you get your results.

• 1:54:02Dax Shepard?

  Wow, it's crazy that they could know that much off of.

• 1:54:05Speaker 01

  I know. I did look up young cancer on the rise.

• 1:54:09Dax Shepard?

  What'd you find?

• 1:54:09Speaker 01

  And of course, it is. Why are a growing number of young people under 50 being diagnosed with over a dozen forms of cancer around the world? The trend is especially worrying in women, according to statistics released in January 2025 by the American Cancer Society, which found that cancer incident rates in women under 50 are now 82% higher than their male counterparts, up from 51% in 2002. They said there's no single smoking gun. Environmental exposure or multiple exposures. Yeah. Microbiome.

• 1:54:44Dax Shepard?

  Bad microbiome.

• 1:54:45Speaker 01

  Um, okay, nipple delay surgery. The nipple delay surgery is a procedure performed before nipple sparing mastectomy to improve the blood supply to the nipple areola complex, the NAC. It involves a small incision to separate the NAC from the breast tissue, cutting some of the connections to small blood vessels. This allows the vessels in the skin to enlarge and strengthen, ensuring a more robust blood supply to the nipple when the mastectomy is performed.

• 1:55:16Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 1:55:17Speaker 01

  She had that. Oh, Kylie Jenner, she mentioned Kylie Jenner because Kylie just came out and told everyone about her breast augmentation. She said she has 445 cc moderate profile, half under the muscle silicone Garth Fisher hopes this, hope this helps lol.

• 1:55:37Dax Shepard?

  Wow, that's a lot of information.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:39Dax Shepard?

  That's a very specific procedure.

• 1:55:41Speaker 01

  Exactly. Beverly Hills.

• 1:55:43Dax Shepard?

  That sounded like a coffee order in Beverly Hills.

• 1:55:46Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:55:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:47Speaker 01

  Okay, now, oh, Jonathan Tropper is the writer of her show.

• 1:55:54Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:55:55Speaker 01

  Jonathan Tropper wrote This Is Where I Leave You. You were in that movie.

• 1:55:59Dax Shepard?

  I was in one of his, I was in his, I think his first movie that got made.

• 1:56:03Speaker 01

  No, How to Talk to a Widower, Everything Changes.

• 1:56:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:56:08Speaker 01

  Oh, those are books, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

• 1:56:13Speaker 01

  But no.

• 1:56:14Dax Shepard?

  But no, but still no.

• 1:56:16Speaker 01

  Actually, maybe movie, he wrote Banshee Warrior, I don't know. Anyway, um, great movie, great book. I read the book before I even knew you.

• 1:56:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 1:56:26Speaker 01

  And before I saw the movie.

• 1:56:27Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 1:56:29Speaker 01

  Yep. All right.

• 1:56:31Dax Shepard?

  That is the facts?

• 1:56:32Speaker 01

  That is it.

• 1:56:33Dax Shepard?

  All right, love you.

• 1:56:34Speaker 01

  Love you.