Chelsea Handler Returns Again

Chelsea Handler (I’ll Have What She’s Having, Dear Chelsea, Chelsea Lately) is a comedian, producer, and best-selling author. Chelsea returns to the Armchair Expert to discuss appreciating words more than gifts, having the best sex of her life at 50, and how funny it is that people that don’t know us that well give us the most impactful advice. Chelsea and Dax talk about being without toilets a mere three lifetimes ago, our job as humans to find optimism in the dark, and how you always have to be aware of what you’re taking in so you don’t have to give something up. Chelsea explains that just because the world is on fire doesn’t mean you have to be on fire, how Jane Fonda has informed how she behaves in all her relationships, and her belief that if you can be who you are, you can be limitless. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:04Dax Shepard?

  We have a returning guest today.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  We do, but on video this time.

• 0:08Dax Shepard?

  Yes, first time on video. She's so radical.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Oh, I love her.

• 0:12Dax Shepard?

  I've adored her for decades now. Chelsea Handler. She's a comedian, a television host, six-time New York Times bestselling author and advocate. She has written Life Will Be the Death of Me and You Too, Uganda Be Kidding Me, Lies That Chelsea... These are all great titles.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:29Dax Shepard?

  Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me, Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang. And her new book, I'll Have What She's Having, which is really, really good and very introspective, and it was a great jumping off point for lots of tasty conversations.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  She's just the best. I guess we should say, although I don't, it's not, it's not too prevalent, but just in case people are confused, we recorded that Wednesday as the fires were starting.

• 0:54Dax Shepard?

  Just starting. We just had high, high winds and a inkling of things were gonna happen.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 0:59Dax Shepard?

  Much worse later that day.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, so.

• 1:01Dax Shepard?

  If we sound trivial.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  Or, yeah, if it's like, wait, they're kind of talking about it, but not really.

• 1:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  That's why.

• 1:07Dax Shepard?

  She also has a great podcast, Dear Chelsea. Check that out. Please enjoy Chelsea Handler. We get support from Quince.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:34Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater, starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 2:01Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited. And I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 2:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here, and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five-star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:36Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect, the Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives, just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a cowbell goes off and the grill master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand-topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern, so every single bite gets cheese. And two pickles, side by side, so you're never in

• 3:51Dax Shepard?

  a pickle desert. Every bite is accounted for. Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a Quarter Pounder.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Me, too. That's my order. It's a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste it.

• 4:10Dax Shepard?

  You can taste it. Yeah, the love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 4:16Dax Shepard?

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 4:49Dax Shepard?

  Chelsea, it's really, really nice to see you.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  It's been a minute.

• 4:51Dax Shepard?

  It's been some years.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  I've seen you guys, but I've seen you guys on my podcast. Yes.

• 4:55Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  So it's very refreshing to be on your podcast once again.

• 4:59Dax Shepard?

  I imagine your last book would have been the last time we had you.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Maybe it was for some TV thing. I don't know.

• 5:05Dax Shepard?

  It doesn't matter. What's really fun, I don't know if you care about numbers, but I turned 50 a few days ago.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Oh, happy birthday. I didn't know that.

• 5:12Dax Shepard?

  Thank you, yes. Your birthday, 2/25/25, turn 50. I can't imagine a more symmetrical thing to happen. Do you like that kind of thing?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  I do a little bit because 25 is a good solid round number. I was born 2/25/75, so for this book, when we were talking about a release date, they were like, is there any way you would release this on your birthday? Because that's a really good window. When they look at other books that are coming out to see what's your competition.

• 5:40Dax Shepard?

  Who you up against?

• 5:41Speaker 02

  I have no idea. I don't get into that shit anymore. I'm like, you know what? I don't have to waste time. Whatever happens, happens. I'm not attached to the outcome of anything. Not too much.

• 5:49Dax Shepard?

  Within reason.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Within reason, exactly. But I was like, you know what? Let's blow it out. It's my 50th birthday. Let's release the book on my 50th birthday. My new Netflix special comes out March 25th. I was hosting the Critics of Choice Awards this week, but they just got postponed to January 26th. So lots of 25, they just postponed them.

• 6:05Dax Shepard?

  For a year?

• 6:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 6:07Dax Shepard?

  You said till 26th. You mean January 26th?

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Okay, I was like, you can't. Don't have a big event, January 26th, February 25th, March 25th. It's just gonna be all the 25th. That's what I'm gonna schedule all my releases for things.

• 6:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  I figured, you know what? I'm gonna be 50 this year. I wanna make it a huge celebration. What are you gonna do? Well, my book's gonna come out, so I'm just gonna have a big book party combined with a birthday party in New York. I'll have a party in Whistler. Maybe I'll have one in LA. You should. I mean, I might as well just go for it. The year's been off to such a banging start. I have to kind of make up for it, you know, societally.

• 6:39Dax Shepard?

  You are comfortable throwing a birthday party? Doesn't give you any anxiety?

• 6:42Speaker 02

  Funny you say that. I had a big banger when I was 40, and I remember walking through my House and seeing all the people that were there and I was like, wow, this is awesome. They made this big birthday video, all these tributes from all my friends. And I remember thinking, this is probably as good as it's ever gonna get. It's only downhill from here, but now that I'm 50, I'm like, I can't not celebrate that. So I'm gonna just have little parties with my people around and make it an annual celebration. And not to an annoying degree, you know what I mean? I'll finance it. I'm not gonna have people buying me gifts, absolutely not. If anyone wants to give me anything, they can write me a card. I appreciate words more than gifts. That's my love language.

• 7:20Dax Shepard?

  I hadn't planned on getting you either, but now I'm gonna write you a card.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  You are planning on getting me something.

• 7:24Dax Shepard?

  I think my birthday gift request from you would be to not have to get you anything for your birthday.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  I'll consider it.

• 7:30Dax Shepard?

  So Polar was on and kinda tried to talk me into doing a dance party, 50th birthday party. She had done it, it was great. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I love dancing, but my birthday's on the second. The day after everyone has quit eating and quit drinking and they've just been with people for way too long for two weeks. It's just not a great date. So objectively, I think I'm right and I'm like, I just don't think it's a good date. And then I was like, is that just me being insecure? No one's gonna have fun. Cut to, so I don't have a big party. We go to Mexico with another family. On my birthday, four of the eight people have Corona and I'm caring for the children. And so I was very confirmation biased. I was like, yeah, what if I had planned this big old birthday party? And now I'm with a bunch of sick people, so I made the right call.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  I like that you're still calling COVID Corona. It was norovirus.

• 8:14Dax Shepard?

  Noro, I meant to say Nora.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Norovirus, I see.

• 8:17Dax Shepard?

  But wait, if I had called COVID Corona, you'd be upset?

• 8:21Speaker 02

  I would just be like, why are you calling it that? Like, it is out of date. COVID is out of date. Yeah, I agree. I went to New Zealand and Australia this summer. I was touring. My cousin Molly, who's my favorite travel buddy, well, she was. Until we went on this trip together and she was insisting on wearing a mask. Cause we were going to New Zealand and Australia and she has a young child and she's like, we're gone for two weeks. I don't wanna get Leah sick. I'm like, Leah's not here, Leah's at home and you're not gonna be home for two weeks. So if we're gonna get sick, now's the time. Yeah. I'm not wearing a mask on a 14 hour flight. I don't want to, it's over. And she's like, I need you to wear a mask. I don't want you to get me sick. And I'm like, oh my God. So I put a mask on.

• 8:57Dax Shepard?

  Wow, that's very nice. I wouldn't have expected that from you.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  I was just presenting till she fell asleep.

• 9:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  And then I take a drink of, I have a cocktail, forget what it was.

• 9:06Dax Shepard?

  What is your flight cocktail?

• 9:07Speaker 02

  I usually don't actually drink on planes, but she was making me so annoyed.

• 9:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So you're on that flight for a day?

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like a party cocktail. Like I'm taking a sleeping pill and I'm having a cocktail. And then I'm gonna be out for 14 hours.

• 9:18Dax Shepard?

  You need to build events into that.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Right. I want to remind you of what life used to be like for you. So I forget I have my mask on. So I take a sip of my vodka orange juice and spills all over my shirt, all over my face mask, okay? Then I go to the bathroom, because I'm trying to clean up. I still have my fucking mask on and I sit down on the toilet, pull my mask down in some sort of transfer and sticking that's my underwear and pee right in my underwear.

• 9:42Dax Shepard?

  She fucked up your entire outfit.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  An hour into the flight and I'm fucking ruined. I peed on myself. I have fucking vodka and orange juice over my shirt. And I look at my cousin, I'm like, fuck you. Like, I don't even want to be on a trip with you again.

• 9:54Dax Shepard?

  You turned me into a six month old.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  This is all because of this mask. Yeah, everything's damp now. I felt like a real hot mess on that flight.

• 10:03Dax Shepard?

  We were going down to Nashville a couple of years ago. It was at the tail end of COVID, Corona, pick your verbiage. And we were going to see our friend Hughie, who's a God fearing Republican. I love him. He's hysterical. He's a great guy. And he goes, uh, just wanted to give you a heads up. We can't wait to see y'all, but uh, don't wear them fucking masks down here. It's just not gonna go very well for you. I was like, that was sage advice.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, people don't like that. Now I understand mask deniers and like all of that stuff.

• 10:30Dax Shepard?

  How effective were they? I don't know, maybe they had a point.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  I'm not ready to go back to that. And if there were another pandemic, I would just park myself somewhere.

• 10:36Dax Shepard?

  I think it's okay to take on some new information. Everyone was scared. We did the best we could. And also some things have been learned and maybe a lot of things weren't necessary.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Possibly.

• 10:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so back to 50, because everyone's asking me, at some point, I feel like I should have a great answer.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  I'm with you. I was just saying to my girlfriends, I'm like, guys, can you give me some good sagacious words or advice?

• 10:57Dax Shepard?

  Sagacious.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  To throw around because it sounds so lame to be like, I'm sexier than ever. You hear these sound bites of people turning 50. I feel more alive. You're like, God, this is so lame. Sexier than ever. But is it true? Yeah, I mean, I'm having a lot of sex. Yeah, that's great.

• 11:12Dax Shepard?

  The libido's thriving.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  It's hot sex. Definitely a sexual awakening when you become older woman, you know, 40s, 50s, because you don't give a shit anymore. You don't care what position you're in. You don't care how your body is looking. You're not in that 20-year-old phase where you're lying down horizontally to make yourself look thinner. One thing I didn't hear that I thought was good is that you get to this age and you're not preoccupied with the past and you're not preoccupied with the future. You are more present and living in the moment because you understand that all of that shit doesn't matter the way you thought it used to matter. You know, when you obsess over stuff that has already transpired and that's a waste of energy?

• 11:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  And you're also worried so much about how things are gonna go or shake out. And you realize you've gotten yourself this far. Everything will work itself out.

• 11:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you have a pretty good bag of evidence that you keep landing on your feet and things keep working out. Like, at some point, you'd have to go like, yeah, I'm blessed for whatever reason. It keeps working out and I need to not spend the rest of my time here convincing myself it's not gonna work out, because look at the fucking data. That's helpful. I don't have a satisfactory answer either. It's like, I still feel 12 years old. I've yet to ever feel past 12 years old. So mentally, that's how I feel. Physically, I probably am in the best shape of my life. I'm not having the hottest sex of my life. I've been with someone for 17 years.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  But wait a second. You don't feel, as a father of two girls who are now probably almost teenagers, right?

• 12:33Dax Shepard?

  10 and 11.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Okay, so you must not feel like a child as a father to that age.

• 12:40Dax Shepard?

  Well, I guess what I mean when I say I'm mentally 12 is, at 12 years old, it occurred to me, I had a moped, a mobile, the world's mine. I can go out and tackle it. I just got this excitement at 12 that I get to do whatever the fuck I want while I'm here. That enthusiasm is still where it was at 12. And that's kind of how I'm tackling my day-to-day life. I keep waiting for me to wake up and be like, I just want to sit in my jammies all day. I don't feel that way at all. That's what I mean. Now, am I more mature and am I more patient and all these things? Oh, my God, yeah. And especially have kids and be with someone for a long time and you will learn patience.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  But your adventurous spirit is what's still...

• 13:18Dax Shepard?

  I'm on fire to be alive on planet Earth.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:21Dax Shepard?

  So the thing that has been occurring to me and it's way more philosophical and hard to explain is I was watching Little Women with my 11 year old in Mexico City on this trip. And I'm telling her, you know that gorgeous mansion they're in, there's no fucking toilet inside. As pretty and great as that looks, those people had to cross the yard and go shit in a box in 1886. There's no indoor plumbing. And as I'm saying that, I'm like, I thought that was a thousand years ago, but I'm 50. So that's really just two more of my lives ago. Oh my God, time is so much shorter than I thought. I'm tripping out on how recent everything was because now relative to me, I've lived for half a century. Me plus you is the Great Depression. That's bonkers to me.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:06Dax Shepard?

  That's what I'm like swimming with. Does it make me recalculate how I think about the past in some weird way?

• 14:13Speaker 02

  It's your examination of time. How long are we actually here for? What does that really mean? What other shit is going around that we don't know? And how many other matrices are there? What else is happening? Also, another thing that you come to is the acceptance of you're never going to fucking have answers to these questions. Everything is conjecture. Everything is kind of like whatever you want to believe in, go for it, but there's no proof of anything. So you kind of are like, I guess I'll just go with what I know.

• 14:40Dax Shepard?

  The best conclusion I've reached from this kind of new calculation of time is it makes me mildly optimistic, which is I know my life's pretty fucking short. And in my lifetime, you smoked in the car with a baby in the backseat and that was groovy and you were drunk.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  And they weren't wearing a seatbelt or in a car seat.

• 14:57Dax Shepard?

  No, and there's major Jim Crow segregation still happening. So as daunting as all the problems are, it's like, my God, the thing does move pretty quick. And we were without toilets three of my lifetimes ago. So it's like chill a little bit. This is a pretty new experiment and it's going pretty good.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  The things do happen very quickly and the dissolution of things can also happen very quickly. I was reading this thing that if you can stay alive through the next 20 years, you'll be able to extend your life to live till you're about 150 because of the technology. That they'll have developed. Knock on wood. Knock on wood. Who the fuck wants to live to 150? First of all, I can't afford to live to 150. Who wants to live that long?

• 15:37Dax Shepard?

  That's interesting. We could be our own trust funders. We could figure out how to, at some point, just coast along.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  I know. I just cashed out my Bitcoin because I realized I had a big windfall. Well, not a big windfall, a windfall.

• 15:48Dax Shepard?

  Can I be nosy and ask what you bought it for? Because what is it, like 60,000 or something right now?

• 15:52Speaker 02

  It's funny, I was at this restaurant in Whistler and I was talking to the server. He came over to our table. It was my first time this season seeing him and I know him. I said, how's your year been? He said, so much has happened. I became a homo this year. And I went, oh my God. And so I said, He said, congratulations. Wow, I could have told you that last year.

• 16:10Dax Shepard?

  I could have saved you a year.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  And he's Australian. He's got this Australian accent. And then he comes back and he's like, it's beautiful. It's up on this street. And I'm like, oh homeowner. And he said, yeah, I had a big Bitcoin windfall. And I was able to purchase a home. And I said, oh my God, great. I said, so are you gay? And he said, gay? Who is that? I said, oh, never mind. I thought I heard something. I guess I didn't. So then I got home and I'm with this guy and I said, I have a Coinbase account that I got from Christine Simons. I think she used to do Kristen's makeup alongside of me. So she used to do my makeup on one of my talk shows. In 2018 or 19, she told me to invest and she's not someone I would ever take financial advice from. But she was so passionate about this Bitcoin, Bitcoin, Bitcoin.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  Her forecast was that in 2025, it was gonna pop. So I bought like $20,000 worth. Wow. And I, after my meeting with the homo homeowner, I went home.

• 17:05Dax Shepard?

  Homosexual homeowner.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  I was like trying to get on my Coinbase account, which of course I don't know the password. I don't know anything.

• 17:10Dax Shepard?

  This is what's preventing me from ever getting it. I can't get into my fucking iTunes.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  How do I find this information out? So the next morning I asked my cousin and she's like, let me ask your business managers if they know anything about it. I was like, I think there should be some money in there. She's like, oh yeah, they have this account. It's at $133,000. So off of 18,000, I made, you know, almost 115, something like that. And I was like, that's fucking awesome.

• 17:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Would you be opposed to kicking Christine 5K for that tip?

• 17:35Speaker 02

  It hasn't occurred to me.

• 17:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, well, I planted in the seed and if you don't do it, it'll not you.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Well, but I am seeing her husband on a ski trip soon, so maybe I'll kick him something.

• 17:44Dax Shepard?

  Why don't you buy him a drink?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Well, he's staying at the house I rented and I'm paying for the trip. I would do that anyway. But yeah, you're right. I will send her something.

• 17:52Dax Shepard?

  That would be fun.

• 17:53Speaker 02

  Thank you, especially since it's on the record now.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  But also you are, this should be said publicly, one of the most generous people in this city. That is the truth and I don't think people know it, but every time I'm at a gala, you might not be there, but your name is up there, having donated an enormous amount of money. And I notice it and I always think, man, Chelsea.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  That's really nice. Thank you. I like to share my good luck.

• 18:17Dax Shepard?

  Well, you have a quote in the book that says to have had and not shared is somehow worse than stealing. I mean, you wrote it. It's not you who said it, but do you recall putting that in your book?

• 18:26Speaker 02

  I mean, I've always shared, even when I had no money. I like to share. When I was waitressing, I would take everyone out to dinner and they'd be like, who the fuck do you think you are? Like some mafioso bitch from New Jersey? Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, who cares? I'll get this money back at some point. I'm gonna get this money. I knew I would be okay at some point. Living in Los Angeles and being around so much wealth and so many people and seeing how precious certain assholes are about materialistic things is pretty shocking. Especially when we're experiencing these fires and all of the things that we're experiencing. It's pretty gross to be so attached to something that is fungible.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  I was thinking that last night because the Palisades have completely burned down. And I was like, think about the amount of sweaters and shoes, like the stuff that just is gone all of a sudden. And we do, I do, like, oh, I want this and I want this and I want to look like this. And it's so stupid.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's so stupid. I have a couple of houses. I have my friends stay there. I want my friends to enjoy my house. I want my family. I want strangers to enjoy everything that I have. I love when my house is used and being broken in, that feels homey to me. My friend was like, how can you let anyone stay at your house when you're not there? I'm like, because I'm not an anal retentive bitch. I don't care if something gets ruined. That's replaceable. It doesn't matter. Obviously with the fires, you're talking about major life stuff. But during the fires, another friend called me and she goes, I got all my shoes out of the closet. And I thought. That's what you're gonna say?

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Cause when the fire started, my house is in a fire zone and they said, what do you want us to take? Do you want us to get the art off the walls? And I just thought, just let it burn.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  If it burns, it burns.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  I can't have that kind of attachment to things. Everything is replaceable. That isn't a human being or an animal.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Are you trying to turn me on with this hamstring?

• 20:09Dax Shepard?

  Are you seeing my hamstring?

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's pretty muscular.

• 20:12Dax Shepard?

  It's popping.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's popping. You look lean.

• 20:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, thank you.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Are you leaner?

• 20:17Dax Shepard?

  Perhaps. Again, I don't know what time you saw me because I've gone on this weird journey where it's like, I wanted to get huge. I got huge. I was big, big. So now I'm, I think my resting where I'll be.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  I think this is nice.

• 20:28Dax Shepard?

  This is where we stay.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  Too big is too big. Don't you think on men?

• 20:30Dax Shepard?

  She was vocal about that, yeah.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, not for me.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we had that babe Nicholas Holt on.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  He has a great body.

• 20:36Dax Shepard?

  He's so gorgeous.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  He's so gorgeous.

• 20:38Dax Shepard?

  I mean, he's so fucking gorgeous.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  He's as attractive as Pedro Pascal and then the other one, Paul Mescal. Those three.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Paul Mescal is nice.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, very nice. And he beefed up for Gladiator.

• 20:48Dax Shepard?

  But he laughed and I did go, I mean, I can acknowledge that's what girls like. He looks athletic. He doesn't look like a fucking meathead.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  I have a Russian nephew who literally is growing sideways. He's like 5'10". Like his wingspan is longer than his actual body. I'm like, you look like a giant. First of all, you look like you're from New Jersey and second, you look like you're Russian. So those two things are not gonna attract anything.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 21:09Dax Shepard?

  You're one strike away from being completely undateable.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Unfuckable.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  You want it to look natural, like they just naturally ended up looking nice, but not when you look, you immediately think, oh, they're trying so hard.

• 21:22Dax Shepard?

  We've long discovered this and hashed this out, which is guys do this for guys.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  And girls do it for girls.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  What does Kristen think about your body size? What does she prefer?

• 21:30Dax Shepard?

  I'm completely invisible to her. I mean, we've been together for almost two decades. She's even figured out how to not hear my voice if it's so loud. I get it. I know what's happening. Okay, so you have a seventh book. This is your seventh?

• 21:42Speaker 01

  This is my seventh.

• 21:42Dax Shepard?

  It's hard. It's time consuming. I've been writing a memoir for two years.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Oh, you have?

• 21:46Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  I like the way you say memoir.

• 21:48Dax Shepard?

  I'm not sure how to say it, so that was my best stab at it. Thanks for making fun of the dyslexic in the room. Please continue, you fucking-

• 21:54Speaker 01

  It was actually better because sometimes you say memwire. And I do think this got-

• 21:59Dax Shepard?

  That sounds right as well.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  It can take a long time to write a book. This one probably was the longest it took me because it started out as one thing. I was dating Joe Coy and we were so public and so in love that my editor reached out and was like, "It's so fun to see you this way in this light. We would love to see you write a book about falling in love. It's so sweet. It's so unexpected."

• 22:21Dax Shepard?

  Can we take one second on that? I was among those people. I don't actually get swept up in anyone's thing. In fact, most times I don't like seeing it. I was so delighted about that. I mean, genuinely, I thought, "Oh, my God, I just love this and I hope this is a thing forever." And it feels very right.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  You seem so hap- you know. I was.

• 22:40Dax Shepard?

  I liked the pairing a lot. It felt very mature. Is that a weird way to say it?

• 22:45Speaker 02

  In many respects, it was mature. And it was so nice to feel that way and to not be embarrassed about sharing it, to get rid of all of that kind of protective stuff.

• 22:54Dax Shepard?

  To appear eager is like the worst than ever, right? So when you fail, it's extra embarrassing.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:00Dax Shepard?

  I'm seeing all that. I was kind of overjoyed with the whole thing.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Thank you. That's sweet.

• 23:04Dax Shepard?

  And then I was really, really kind of sad. And then I was curious, if you're comfortable, why didn't it?

• 23:09Speaker 02

  In the book, I talk about it and I don't really get into the details of exactly what happened, only because I'm more mature than I was before in relationships. And I don't want to throw anyone under the bus that I loved at one point. And I did really love him. I did not want to break up with him. When we broke up, I felt like I had no choice. I felt like it was a decision between having a relationship and being full on or choosing myself and my sanity. Sanity is an overstatement, but I would have compromised my own value system.

• 23:39Dax Shepard?

  Like when Jane left Ted.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Not quite like that. You know, that story is fucking awesome.

• 23:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Let me digress for one second. Do you know that story in her book where he's flying her out to Atlanta? They're breaking up and she gets off the plane and his new girlfriend walks on the plane and sits down in her seat.

• 23:57Dax Shepard?

  The doc on him is so phenomenal.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  I love Ted Turner's stories. I've read his book.

• 24:01Dax Shepard?

  I think he might be my favorite of all those characters.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  He's a cowboy.

• 24:04Dax Shepard?

  I mean, impossibly charming.

• 24:05Speaker 02

  And he also bought her a ranch after that in New Mexico. And he always thought she was going to come back. He's always like, "Come back to me when you're ready."

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Ready when you accept this kind of relationship.

• 24:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  I liked that story too.

• 24:16Dax Shepard?

  Let's go back to.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  No, what I thought was a mature, healthy relationship and what he thought was a mature, healthy relationship were two different things and I would have had to compromise everything I stand for. I wasn't willing to do that. We had a couple of instances where it was obvious that we had different ideas.

• 24:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  About togetherness and the amount of time we would spend together and the expectations of me as his girlfriend, which to me were very outdated, old fashioned and not going to work.

• 24:42Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  The biggest takeaway from that relationship was A, that I was able to be in love in a vulnerable, mature, healthy way and that when I realized it wasn't going to work out, I was able to end it in a healthy, mature way and not divulge all of the stuff and the ugliness that may have happened in between because I didn't want to focus on that. I knew then that I'm capable of accepting love, that I'm capable of being in love and being vulnerable in that way. And it made me want more of it.

• 25:12Dax Shepard?

  That's great.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  So that was like a huge takeaway. I didn't for one second doubt any of my decision making. And I want to say also, I love the green in here, you guys.

• 25:22Dax Shepard?

  Well, if that's all you wanted to say.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:24Dax Shepard?

  I want to say I love the green in here.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  He got me at a point in my life, because I had known him obviously for many years earlier because of Chelsea Lately. He got me at a point in my life where I needed to be reminded of my strength and my power of who I am. And he reinstilled that in me because I had kind of lost interest in my work and the job and what am I doing?

• 25:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's in the book, you lost your confidence.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:47Dax Shepard?

  Which is so scary.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Destabilizing.

• 25:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And I would imagine too, for you, your defining characteristic is almost self-assuredness.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 25:56Dax Shepard?

  That's the attractive thing is like, oh, this bitch ain't afraid of anything. Watch her go.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Well, it's your core. It's your foundation. And so if that thing has a crack in it, it's going to be extra scary.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  If you destabilize a semi-stable person, it's not as big of a crack or a fall. If you destabilize a very stable person, it's almost like an earthquake.

• 26:17Dax Shepard?

  You have no experience and previous tools learned.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  So it was anathema to me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this feeling? I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. And I had a couple of instances where I got that shaky leg syndrome when I was standing up publicly.

• 26:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you were giving a speech at a women's conference.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, like eight o'clock in the morning and Brian Grazer had booked me on it, asked me to come and speak. And I was speaking and my leg just started shaking and I remember being like, what is this? The more you focus on something, the bigger it becomes. And I had to sit down and I remember just sweating. It was a panic attack, but I had never experienced anything like that in my life.

• 26:50Dax Shepard?

  My favorite part is when you're telling this story in the book, you tell the organizer, they say, are you okay? And you're like, oh yeah, I had a really bad fever today, but I didn't want to cancel.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Turn myself into a hero. Yeah.

• 27:01Dax Shepard?

  You start shooting your Netflix show shortly thereafter and you decide you can't really even stand during the monologue. You need to go sit behind the desk for the monologue.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  Shaking leg syndrome kept happening. Eventually, I think someone told me about beta blockers and that nipped that in the bud. Cause you take those for like a week and then it gets it out of your system.

• 27:16Dax Shepard?

  Kristin uses them every time she performs.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  They're great. So that was okay. But obviously if you're having those issues, something deeper is happening. And I think that's what happens at some point between 40 and 50. That's why they call it a midlife crisis. Because you do have to do some introspection at that time in your life if you haven't done any before.

• 27:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. You're in a business too, that devalues your age and wisdom. And so then that becomes a new thing.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  This business is so toxic in the sense that there's a desperation around everyone, you know?

• 27:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Everyone wants to remain relevant and everyone wants to be seen or thought of in a certain way. It's an infection and you get the infection and then that starts fucking with your confidence. And if you have success, success, success, and then you have something that's not successful, it's almost like you just don't know what to do with that. You can't handle the idea of you not being successful.

• 28:06Dax Shepard?

  Well, for me, I can't speak for you, but also there's a voice in my head from day one. It's like, the ride's gonna be over soon. It ends for everyone. It's gonna end. And then so one hiccup is like, yep, here it is. The ride's over. I knew it was gonna be over. I was waiting for this.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  This is my downfall. Lose everything. I can't afford my house. I can't afford this. Where's money coming from? And then when you are able to work through all of those ugly emotions and thoughts about yourself, you get to the other side. What you're saying about turning 50, you're like, I have enough. Enough data to understand that I belong right where I stand. And that voice is not the real voice. And it's your job to quiet that voice and get in touch with the real voice of who you are.

• 28:43Dax Shepard?

  You and I are on a really parallel journey. So I entered therapy about the exact same time in a real, real way. And by the way, our therapists are telling us very similar things as I'm reading your story. I just can't shake this financial insecurity. It's like, it doesn't matter how much I squirrel away. I'm still panicked and the more I get, I kind of am even more panicked. And I recognize it's insanity, but it doesn't have any effect on how I feel about it. And he said, well, I'm not even going to suggest it's not going to all go away. What I'm going to say is, don't you recognize you're the type of person who can tackle problems as they arise? How could that go away from you? That's the thing that can't be taken and you have shown you have that skill set. So if something comes up, guess what? You're the dude that can handle that. That's kind of true. I might let that in just a little bit.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Isn't it funny that we need someone else to tell us that? Someone who doesn't even really know us has to be like, hey, you're the reason you got yourself here.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  We don't trust ourselves. If we try to say it's not a trustworthy source.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  I want every young person to feel seen. I want every young person to feel confident. I want to infuse that because I know I have a lot of that. And for the period of time where I wasn't sure of it, it was useful to get to the place to understand, oh, this is real confidence. This isn't just bravado.

• 30:00Dax Shepard?

  This is bedrock.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  This is better confidence than what I even had before, because now I'm calm about it. I'm not trying to show off. I know what I can handle.

• 30:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  I mean, it's all cliche, but I guess cliches are cliches because they're so fucking true. You know what I mean?

• 30:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they would be sticky if they didn't ring a bell.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  There is light after dark. It's your job to find optimism in the dark, I think, as human beings, especially with all the shit that goes on in our country. And the last decade, it's been so crazy. And when you talk about time, you're like, did every generation feel this way? People talk about how the sixties and seventies were so great. It's like, well, yeah, but the racism was way worse than it is now. So how can you say that was great?

• 30:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's what you want to focus on.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  It is what you want to focus on. And one of the biggest things to remember is there's this book I love reading called Letting Go by David Hawkins. Ever read that?

• 30:42Dax Shepard?

  I haven't.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Oh, you should read that.

• 30:43Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  It's metaphysical. It's deep. There can be famine. There can be war. There can be devastation. And really, there are people who survive and thrive in that, not because of it, but in spite of it. They are able to look at their lives and be like, I'm going to figure out my way how to live through this in a powerful, positive and fruitful way. I'm going to make the most of this, even though the situation around me sucks. And I think that's really powerful to remember. Just because the world is on fire doesn't mean that you have to be on fire.

• 31:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I saw this dude speak a few months ago and he had a slideshow presentation and his thread was kind of optimism. And he showed a picture of Dresden in World War II. There's nothing there but rubble. He's like, we wiped this city off of the face of the earth. Here it is today. Here's London here. Here's Rome after this. He's like, yes, we create great catastrophes, but we always come back.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:40Dax Shepard?

  If there's anything to know, magically, we do rebuild. You can't point to the city that got leveled, that stayed level. And I was like, yeah, much bigger shit has gone down that we have recovered from. And it was a cool message. Now, what was my favorite story in the book? And we're kind of talking about it. It starts with the shaky legs and it starts with this period of kind of questioning yourself. And then, this is great, I just want to flag one moment. You have a girlfriend over who's crying for three hours at your house because she got a terrible haircut. And at one point, you say to her, listen, you can't be one of these people who is so consumed with the way they look. It's fucking hair. And as you're screaming it, you have gotten CO2 lasik and you can't leave your house for 10 days.

• 32:23Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 32:30Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Gusto. So here's the thing about running a small business that nobody romanticizes. It's not the big idea that wears you down, it's the payroll, the tax filings, the wait. Do I need workers' comp for this stuff? That's the part that quietly eats away your whole afternoon, which is where Gusto comes in. Gusto is online payroll and benefits. Software built for small businesses. It's all in one, remote friendly and incredibly easy to use so you can pay onboard and support your team from anywhere. They handle automatic tax filing, direct deposits, health benefits, 401k, all of it. And you get unlimited payroll runs for one monthly price. No hidden fees, no surprises.

• 33:11Dax Shepard?

  If something tricky comes up, you've got direct access to certified HR experts who actually know what they're talking about. And they're ranked number one on G2's highest satisfaction products list for 2026 and trusted by over 500,000 small businesses. That's not nothing. Try Gusto today at gusto.com/dax and get three months free when you run your first payroll. That's three months of free payroll at gusto.com/dax. Again, that's gusto.com/dax. We get support from Quince. Okay, so I have a confession. I'm the worst holiday shopper on the planet. I wait until the last possible second, I panic, and then I end up buying something nobody wants.

• 33:53Dax Shepard?

  But this year, I've cracked the code and the code is cozy. And Quince's bedding makes it so easy because the quality is exceptional. It's the kind of gift people actually use and love long after the holidays.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Yes, okay, can we talk about their European linens? Because Quince's 100% European linen gets softer with every wash. Most bedding peaks the day you buy it and then it's all downhill. This is the opposite. And their organic cotton bedding is breathable and incredibly soft. It's hotel quality comfort for your own bed.

• 34:22Dax Shepard?

  You crawl into bed and you're like, wait, did I accidentally check into a Four Seasons? Quince just makes it easy to create a bed you'll actually look forward to getting into. And their quilts, coverlets and duvet inserts make any bed and any gift feel complete.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you can get and give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag.

• 34:48Dax Shepard?

  I mean, guys, I put these on the bed of my children. They are wrapping my little babies and I feel great about it.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Mine are striped, they're so cute. They're very fashionable and very comfortable. And it's not just bedding. Quince has everyone on your list covered with Mongolian cashmere sweaters, fine jewelry, leather bags, chef-grade cookware, five-star luggage, and more.

• 35:07Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We are supported by Squarespace. So here's something I think about a lot. Most people I talk to on this show, the ones doing really interesting things, they all had a version of their work that existed before anyone else saw it. It was just theirs, notes, ideas, projects they were tinkering with. And then at some point, they made the decision to share it. That's the part that's scary, right? Going from "I'm working on something" to "here's what I made." Rob went through

• 35:50Dax Shepard?

  the exact same thing, building our site on Squarespace. And what made it doable was that he didn't have to become a web developer overnight. He just had to show up with the idea. Squarespace handles the rest. Beautiful templates that actually look like you hired someone, built an SEO so people can find you, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, all under one roof. No code, no patchwork of random tools. And honestly, the thing I keep coming back to is how low the barrier is. If you've got something you've been building quietly and you're ready for people to see it, Squarespace makes that leap feel a lot less traumatic. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We get support from Skims.

• 36:36Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set, looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally going to be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening, the same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy, and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late-night hot chocolate, be cozy.

• 37:08Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone, too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 37:24Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic, too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multi-purpose this and look super cute.

• 37:38Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Armchair Expert in the dropdown menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 38:12Dax Shepard?

  But you went through this phase where you kind of started shutting up a little more and listening a little more. And it was even scary to the people around you. And I want you to tell me about that and what's on the other side of that.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  I look at therapy now that I'm out of it. I mean, I have a therapist, but that was a very intense two-year period when I did go to therapy. And I look at therapy as like, you know how there's the school year and then the summer break? The summer break serves as a time to absorb everything you learned in the school year. So you go to therapy and my intention was never to be in long-term therapy. It was like, I want to go incrementally. I didn't know it was going to be two years. If someone had told me that, I probably would have been like, fuck off. I'll just figure out how I'm going to get through this life without therapy.

• 38:51Dax Shepard?

  Well, there's two years for normal people. I'll have this handled in four months, tops.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  Exactly. Like, let's fast forward this track. But you go through therapy and then you have all this information. You have to absorb all the information that you've gleaned and then you have to apply it.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Yes, practice it.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  So you have to put it into your life. And I didn't want to be one of these codependent people who was calling my therapist anytime I had a decision to make. I needed to know how to trust my knowingness and my intuition and the things that I have naturally, organically, that we all have. So the period after I was done with therapy, I was so kind of confused about all the things that I learned about myself. So when he was like, you know, you don't have to insert yourself. You don't have to be the life of the party. These are not your Responsibilities. People aren't just hanging out with you because you're fun. It's like, well, a lot of them are. You know what I mean?

• 39:33Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  A lot of people are hanging out with me because I was fun. So going to places and really withdrawing and being quiet and still and not drinking and not imbibing and stuff that I would normally imbibing because I just really wanted a better view of the things.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  People were like, what is your problem? You are boring and that would fuck with me.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, were you like, I was right the whole time?

• 39:53Speaker 02

  I was like, oh, God, maybe I am boring, but I had to stick with it because I don't know what's on the other side of this. And then eventually you realize you take all the things and the self-awareness that you gained and you apply it to the best parts of your personality so that you come out as a better version, like a 2.0. You're like, all right, I got this now. But that's a process. That was like two years after therapy where I finally clicked back into who I am. I was vacillating back and forth, like auditioning new versions of myself to see which one was real. Okay, am I being real right now or am I being performative? Am I acting like I'm listening or am I listening? You know, like all of that shit.

• 40:31Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna formulate my next incredible joke.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. I remember being in school as a young girl, third grade, and I would just be waiting for the moment that I could insert myself to make a funny joke. I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it.

• 40:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Five seconds, I'm gonna say this.

• 40:42Dax Shepard?

  You're like a running back looking for a hole in the defense.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  I want everyone to know I'm funny and as soon as I say this, they're gonna know. And then I'll be the funny one.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:48Dax Shepard?

  And in your mind, that'll be permanent, but no, five minutes later, you gotta remind them.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's like a hamster on a wheel.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's exhausting.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  And so I had to really recalibrate all of that stuff. And now I'm so glad I went through that, but if somebody had told me it was not a two-year process, a four to six-year process, really from start to finish, that would have been not appealing.

• 41:07Dax Shepard?

  You were saved by your ignorance.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Absolutely. I have a thing where if the vibe isn't high, then I need to make it high.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. Because what will happen if not?

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Because it's boring. This is a good example. I had my nieces for a week. I had two of my nieces and my cousin's daughter. She's 13. And my two nieces are 19, 22. And we skied a lot. We had dinners at home. We went out to dinners. There was plenty of action. And then the downtimes at the house were also nice because there was a nice balance. We'd ski, then we'd come home and we'd watch something. Appropriate, like a family porn or something. And then on the last day, we didn't ski. Everyone was kind of tired. We were leaving for Vancouver that night. And it was just a very mellow vibe. Perfectly fine, but after about three hours of that, I was like, mm, I'm gonna have to step up the energy here. If they weren't there, I would have gone into bed and just made it a TV day for myself.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  I was just kind of tired, but I was like, if I don't create the vibe, the vibe isn't happening. So then I was like, okay, girls. And we ended up having a great day. We drove to Vancouver. We had a fun time. We had my dog. We went out to dim sum. We did all this fun stuff, but that's what I do. If I feel like I'm in the mix of something that isn't going well, there's a responsibility to raise the bar.

• 42:18Dax Shepard?

  So I do too, but I think for me, under that is some fear that if I let this vibe continue to be this way, something bad's gonna happen.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  If there's a lull at a dinner and no one's talking, I will be the person to start the conversation. And I'm always like, wait, don't jump in. Let someone else take it. And usually no one will.

• 42:39Dax Shepard?

  Because you're there and I'm there.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  But also maybe they like it. You said if it's not going well, but that's your version of it.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  But I'm like, well, wait, I need everyone to have a good time around me. It has to be a great rapport when you get back to your parents. Like, oh my God, I had the best time with Chelsea. Of course you did, you know?

• 42:56Dax Shepard?

  I didn't think that good of a time was possible.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, my biggest compliment is when people are always like, you're fun. I want to ski with you. You want people's takeaway to be like, oh, that was fun. So to have to put that to rest and be like, no, no, it's okay. You don't have to be the most fun person. It is a battle.

• 43:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's hard.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  And it's so funny because that's your identity marker of what you think is the most important. I don't care if people say I'm fun at all. That would not be the thing I chose someone would leave my house and say. And they won't. That's probably not the thing they're gonna say about me.

• 43:24Dax Shepard?

  You want them to say you have great taste?

• 43:27Speaker 01

  No, God, no.

• 43:28Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm wondering.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  I think I would want that was an intimate time.

• 43:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Not like sexually.

• 43:33Dax Shepard?

  No, no, I don't think that.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Okay, we had a real time connected.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Absolutely. I value that. And to piggyback on what you were just saying earlier, like, I do value that. I value that when I get that from people and I value that when that's my experience. But if there's someone that is more fun than me, I have a friend in Whistler, her name is Ange. There's a chapter about her in my book, actually, because I decided that somebody needed to tribute her. She's crazy. She's wild. She's fun. And she's always the center of attention. And I love being around her because she guarantees a good time.

• 44:04Dax Shepard?

  Right, you can trust her.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  I can trust her with the reins because I know she's got it. And that brings me a lot of comfort because I don't have to work at all.

• 44:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. And it's fun.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Do you have that?

• 44:13Dax Shepard?

  Our friend Jess, if he's there, I'm like, oh yeah, it's on his shoulders.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:17Dax Shepard?

  And he'll deliver.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  It is so funny because when I first met Jess, and I would say I probably felt this being around you at first, where I'm like scared. I'm scared of that energy.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I think a lot of people are.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  It feels unpredictable.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  People tell me all the time they're scared of me.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  But I don't think that anymore. Of course, within minutes of knowing you, you don't feel like that. But when someone is so on and good at being on and good at being funny.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  People get intimidated, for sure.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  They're intimidated.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Especially even my friend Ange, people are like, oh, it's too much. And I'm like, it's only too much if it puts you off balance.

• 44:48Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's actually a gift because I have been listening to someone that's too much. And I've gone, oh yeah, that's how you sound a lot to people. I'm pretty forthcoming with the crack smoking and the fights and the crimes and the sex. And I think I've established the bar that, you know, it's fine. But then I'll be around someone that's above my comfort zone. I'll go like, it's good experiences. I know what they feel like. This is too much.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:14Dax Shepard?

  In the Woman Up story, you talk about at least taking a break from weed at some point. I always like to check in with your drug and alcohol.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  I know, I know, I know. I love it.

• 45:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay, good.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  He's always waiting for me to get sober.

• 45:25Dax Shepard?

  I want to make sure you don't ever feel like I'm curious in a judgmental way.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  At all.

• 45:30Dax Shepard?

  I look at you in the way I worship Jack Nicholson. I'm like, that guy's still banging rails at that age and he kept it on the track?

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Is he still banging rails?

• 45:39Dax Shepard?

  I don't know.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  I wouldn't say that Jack Nicholson has kept it. On track. Have you seen him recently?

• 45:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, that motherfucker's eighty something.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  It's not like he's crushing it at eighty something.

• 45:49Dax Shepard?

  He doesn't look like Clint Eastwood.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  He looks like a gremlin.

• 45:51Dax Shepard?

  I haven't seen him. Did see a photo of him. Still, it was a decade old. He's probably in his seventies. And it appeared that he had a Coke donut on his. I don't know. It looked like he had the devil's dandruff all over his nose at a red carpet. I don't know. That's just my assumption. Maybe he was doing his vitamins that way. But he fascinates me. I'm like, it's hard to go that hard and keep it on the rails for that long.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  You being on the rails is in alive and eyes open.

• 46:14Dax Shepard?

  He's not in jail. He hasn't had to go to treatment. People that work with him aren't put out by being around him. He's a high functioning party animal.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 46:23Dax Shepard?

  That blows my mind. So I have the same curiosity about you, of course. So I always like to check in on it. And then I saw the woman up story and I thought, well, now I'm invited to ask you about it.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  My relationship with drugs and alcohol. Well, I don't really do cocaine. I have done plenty in my life, but I don't know when the last time I've done cocaine was. Probably when fentanyl came on the scene. But I'm always open to drugs and alcohol as long as you don't lose your shit. As long as you are not sloppy, gross. I can go out to dinner and have a drink. I can go out to dinner and have three drinks. I can go out to dinner and have no drinks. The times where I've overdone it or where I've acted badly, like the Jane Fonda story.

• 46:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I want you to tell that.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  I was definitely on drugs at that party. I don't remember what drugs, probably Coke or who knows, something that would make me angry. So probably Coke because any other drug that I would use wouldn't do that. And that was probably 20 years ago, 15 years ago.

• 47:11Dax Shepard?

  To me, it sounds like your alarm bell is like when you recognize it's habitual. You're doing it mindlessly and it's just happening. You didn't really even decide to do it or not decide to do it.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Mindlessly and as a default where you're partying all the time, you gotta reel it in, otherwise you're gonna have to give it up. And I don't want to have to give it up. So in the times where I have to take breaks, you know, drinking mindfully is a completely different philosophy than going out to a bar and not thinking. It's just like eating mindfully. You're like, do I want another drink? Not really. Or do I want another drink? Okay, great. Do I feel in control of myself? Do I feel like I'm getting too buzzed? Am I too drunk? Where am I assessing it? Like mindfully doing anything? So that was a big. Help when I went through therapy identifying why you're doing something, when you're doing something and is it habitual? And is it something that you are able to stop easily?

• 48:02Speaker 02

  I'm always kind of in check with myself. I get very grossed out. And this could be projection by people who are not able to control their drug and alcohol intake. I get icked by that. It makes me feel very unsafe because I'm pretty solid. I don't get wasted. I have been, of course, there are times where I get drunk, but that's not really what I do anymore.

• 48:25Dax Shepard?

  Do you think as you're getting older, it's getting less?

• 48:28Speaker 02

  It's less appealing.

• 48:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And the call to it is maybe quieter?

• 48:32Speaker 02

  It's not a default. Whereas before it's like, oh, we're going out to dinner. I'm going to have two or three drinks. It's like, now if you go out to dinner, you're like, do I want to feel like that tomorrow? If I'm preparing for something, I don't drink. I want to be healthy. And if I need mental clarity, I won't drink for a while. Or if I'm alone, I don't really like to do that. I'm more of a social drinker. I don't sit at home and drink by myself. I will smoke pot by myself.

• 48:55Dax Shepard?

  The pot thing's really interesting. Obviously, I think it's way better than someone drinking habitually. We know it's much better for you. But I do think the one thing to watch out for with weed is that it is so innocuous. It's not like you're ever going to embarrass yourself on it. The red flags don't pop up. And I think it's easy for it to become, as you're saying, just like a default thing you do mindlessly.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Well, I think with any drug, listen, I also microdose mushrooms acid. I do everything like that. I love that stuff. The thing about weed is, A, the high you get when you smoke it sporadically versus the high you get when you smoke it daily are two completely different things.

• 49:31Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  It's like doing coke for the first time and then you're doing it every day for six weeks. It's not the same thing. You're not getting that same high where you're chatty and you're fun and it's a great time. So the same applies to everything. Same applies to alcohol, same applies to weed. So for weed, you get stupid. And I've been down that road. When COVID, I was locked in my house for like three weeks. I'm like, great, I get up, do mushrooms, smoke weed, read books. I was like, this is a fucking great party.

• 49:55Dax Shepard?

  Remember nothing.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  And then I'd be going to the refrigerator like 14 times, waiting for something new to arrive.

• 50:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  Or for the ingredients to Somehow magically combine with each other and make some amazing dish. But it's self evaluation. You're like, I'm feeling pretty stupid right now. I'm feeling pretty forgetful. I'm abusing weed. Forget it. And so now I have to take a break. Now if I smoke weed, it's at night before I go to bed. You kind of always have to be aware of what you're taking in. If you don't ever want to have to give something up, if someone said you could never drink again, I would be so bummed. Yeah. Yeah, I know. But it's not insurmountable. I would be like, okay, well, can I do anything else? And if they said, no, you couldn't do anything else, then I would be like, well, this fucking blows.

• 50:37Dax Shepard?

  Until I said in my AA voice, you don't have to do that forever. You just have to do that today. And if you think about not doing any of that stuff today, that's not a whoop. And then tomorrow, you go, no, it's only a whoop when you think I'm never doing it again. The finality of it is the mountain. Today is no big deal for anyone. You're gonna have to do shit today, and that's fine. You can get fucked up tomorrow. Great. Then tomorrow I go, you're not getting fucked up today, but tomorrow, that's how you can get 40 years of it. But yes, I've had guys go like, you know, am I not gonna have a beer with my son when he turns 21? And I'm like, A, you don't have a son yet. B, sure, you can have a beer with your son when he's 21, but he's not today, right?

• 51:19Dax Shepard?

  The things we think we're gonna miss. It's like, when I retire, I'm not gonna be able to pop some champagnes. Like, no, fine. When you fucking retire, you don't even have a job yet.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  And it's also an unhealthy attachment to things. You have to test yourself if you're someone like me who could easily go down the road of abuse. You know, we do these bike rides in Mallorca and I like, I have lots of friends that come and stay at my house and we do these massive bike rides, right? We go to these long, beautiful lunches and we all drink sangria and then we get on our bikes. We ride back to my house and it's sometimes two, three hour bike rides, right? They're on e-bikes, so don't get, I don't want people to think, yeah, I don't want people to get too horny thinking. One day I remember being like, I've been here for a month and basically this is what we're doing every day. Well, maybe today I'm gonna go to lunch and not have sangria, just to see if that's gonna be an issue for me. And then you go and you do it and you're like, okay, that's good. You have to kind of be conscious about your intake of drugs and alcohol if you're someone who likes.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  Likes them and I like them. I want to respect them.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  I'm in the exact same boat. I am currently not drinking Monday through Thursdays. When you say anyone can do one day, that's not true for me because it does become habitual.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  It's a habit.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  That is actually the part that's hard. Once I've hit two weeks, I could never drink again.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Why can't I just go right now and have a glass of wine and doodle around in my journal? I want to be able to do that. Why can't I do, you know, it starts becoming a whole.

• 52:39Dax Shepard?

  What's ironic is you start feeling controlled by the absence of the thing that's actually controlling you. It is a mental loop. You feel controlled by not being able to do something. But even the notion that you would have to do that would imply on some level, you're already controlled by it. Look, I'm the biggest pro drinking. Everyone should do it until they can't do it, in my opinion.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  And the other side of it is everyone thinks habits are so hard to break. I really disagree. I think you can create a new habit and people say it's 28 days. I think you could create new habits in three to four days if you're not an addict. If you're an addict, then yes. If you've never meditated before in your life and you're like, okay, I'm going to meditate for five days, five minutes every morning. That's it. On the sixth day, you're going to want to meditate.

• 53:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  It's much quicker than people think. We're so powerful in our choices and decision making.

• 53:25Dax Shepard?

  You also just learn about your unique makeup. So for me, people will go, how often do you work out? And I go seven days a week. And they're like, that's crazy. And I go, sure, it is. But it's harder for me to work out three days a week than it is seven days a week. Because if I have a day off, I don't want to work out the next day.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:41Dax Shepard?

  If I don't have a day out, I don't even think about it. It's like, I wake up and I go to this thing for an hour and that's what I do when I wake up. But to give me a day off and then I start fearing having to do it again, that's way, way harder for me. And that's me. That's how I work best.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  My sister was here a few weeks ago and we were out to dinner with her friend. And we went to this restaurant and they only served beer and wine and I hate beer and I hate wine. I only like cocktails. And so I was like, all right, I'll have a ginger ale. And my sister's like, what? A ginger ale? She's like, I haven't seen you order a ginger ale at dinner since we were kids. And I was like, I don't like beer and wine. I'm not going to just drink anything.

• 54:15Dax Shepard?

  I don't need the alcohol bad enough to consume something I don't like.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  She's like, I just always thought you want, you know, and I'm like, well, yeah, but. Not like that. I don't have to shove alcohol in my system to get through the dinner. So it's funny, the way you are perceived and the way you perceive yourself also. I understand everyone knows I'm party and I drink. I'm very outspoken about it. But to hear it from my sister in that way, I was like, yeah, it's fine. And she's like, oh, that is funny. Like, I thought you would just be desperate and have to have a glass of wine.

• 54:44Dax Shepard?

  Scratching yourself.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Force it down. Yeah.

• 54:46Dax Shepard?

  Pacing in between bites. There are a couple of stories I want to get to from the book before we're out of time. I think Jane Fonda one's great because backstory, we interviewed her about a year or two, a year and a half ago.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Couple of years ago.

• 54:57Dax Shepard?

  As you would expect, I just fell insanely in love with her.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:00Dax Shepard?

  I'm like, if I were single, I would marry you and be with you till the end. I'm in love with you. But you have those story about her confronting you and I thought that was a really cool thing to share. And it made me like her, of course, even more.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  She confronted me with regard to what we're talking about, overdoing it with drugs and alcohol. I was at one of her birthday parties. She summoned me to her house, kind of. And we had dinner. It was just the two of us.

• 55:24Dax Shepard?

  You knew you were in trouble because the email was curt. It was like, get over here, basically.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I was like, okay, it's Jane Fonda. I have to go to her house. And she told me, your behavior was really bad at this party. You offended a lot of people. You had a very dark cloud of energy around you.

• 55:37Dax Shepard?

  You kind of ruined the party.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, geez. And I had just started therapy, so luckily I had just enough information to know not to defend that. Not to be like, well, it was because of this or because I took this or it was because of this person. There are no excuses. All I had to do was say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It was mortifying that she said this, but in that moment, I also just respected her so much for taking the time to sit down with me and tell me.

• 56:05Dax Shepard?

  She's also saying, I love you.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:07Dax Shepard?

  Because if I didn't, I don't need to have this awkward fucking conversation.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, she could have blown me off and never hung out with me again.

• 56:12Dax Shepard?

  If you're one of the many people I know and you're a piece of shit, you're just not coming to my party again. She has to care about you deeply to go through that.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  Thank you so much, A, for telling me this. You will never have to talk to me again about this. This is going to be, the first time is going to be the last time. Yeah. And to this day, we still talk about it because she's in the book. And there's a chapter at the end of the book, which is kind of like a full circle moment where she asked me to. From Whistler to this event that she did. And it was disruptive to my whole winter, but I was like, I have to show up for this woman. I owe her so much. A, as just a woman, I owe her so much. And B, because of what she did for me, because she set the tone for me in my relationships with my friends moving forward. Because I wanted to be what she was to me, to other women. I wanted to tell people the truth, even when it's hard, even when it's a difficult conversation.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  There is a deficit of truth in this industry and this town and the way that people communicate. And I want to be the person that when you ask me a question, I'm giving you an honest answer. Even if it's hurtful, not just doling it out unsolicited.

• 57:12Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think you can really delineate whether you're doing it because you love someone, want to help them, or you want to shame them. If you want to shame them because you're actually just resentful that you fucked up my party and now I want to shame you. That's not truth that we need you to have.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  Yes, right.

• 57:26Dax Shepard?

  But hey, I love you. You're better than this. Let me remind you of that is very pure.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  It was a light bulb moment and I'll never forget it. And it really shaped the kind of woman that I am. And the woman that I've always wanted to be was somebody who isn't full of shit, who isn't going to lie. And she, I wanted to be upfront and be direct. I find that to be one of the most attractive qualities in other people, when they can be direct, not squirrely. And I remember I left her dinner that night and I was so horrified. And I went to my girlfriend's house. She had been with me at the party and she's like, don't fucking listen to Jane Fonda. That's what she said. She goes, why are you listening to her? I go, I'm gonna listen to Jane Fonda.

• 58:04Dax Shepard?

  I'm even going to argue that the gift is that I'm guessing she might have been the only person that could have told you that.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:11Dax Shepard?

  And she might have known that.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  She's fucking awesome. We were campaigning with her a few months before the election. We went to Albuquerque and that worked out great.

• 58:18Dax Shepard?

  Good job, guys.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, thank you, thank you. I was with Connie Britton and she and I flew and Jane was like, can you come and do this for her climate pack? We're going to Albuquerque. And I was like, of course. And then we got the flight and she's like, okay, it's Southwest flight. And I'm like, Southwest? I was like, what? I was like, why are we, are we, is Jane Fonda flying Southwest?

• 58:35Dax Shepard?

  Can you imagine getting to your middle seat and Jane Fonda's there?

• 58:38Speaker 02

  And I'm like, Connie, are we flying Southwest? And she's like, I think we have to. Jane flying Southwest. And I was like, okay, I was like, all right, you know, I'm gonna be a team player. We get to Albuquerque and we're staying at an airport, something or other, Hilton. And I was like, oh, I don't know about this at all. And Connie's looking up these resorts. She found this boutique hotel out in Albuquerque and she's like, what about if we stay here? And I was like, well, I don't know, can we do that? Can we just get the room for Jane and just tell her we're leaving? And I was like, I don't think we do any of this. I'm like, I think we just suck it up.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  And we go and do whatever Jane wants.

• 59:08Dax Shepard?

  Would love if you all checked into the shit box, though, and then put her in her room. Good night, Z in the morning.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  And we fly out of Burbank, out of the Southwest tournament all. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I'm thinking, if she's going.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  We get there and every single fucking person is coming up to Jane Fonda. I can't believe what a badass she is, that she just fucking does this shit all the time. And she's eighty-seven?

• 59:32Dax Shepard?

  Eighty-nine.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Wild.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Is she eighty-nine now? Oh, she just turned eighty-nine. Do you know that she makes like two hundred phone calls a day on behalf of her climate pack? I'm always in awe of her. I can't think of anyone I respect more, actually.

• 59:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I'm with you. She might be the greatest of all time.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  But I respect her in that story, but I really respect you in that story, too, because you were able to take it. And I think nine point nine people out of ten could not take it. Like you said, you had to kind of fight the urge.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  But most people are not fighting the urge. They are defensive and they are also justifying to themselves a million reasons why she's wrong. And then they live the rest of their lives saying, why are you listening to Jane Fonda? So I respect you for being able to.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  But I also want to make this point about that interaction is if she had gotten me just a month earlier.

• 1:00:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  My reaction would have been what you're talking about. The timing was perfect because I had just started therapy. So I had enough of a kernel of self-awareness to understand that defensiveness means usually that you're wrong.

• 1:00:34Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  If you're right, you don't have to defend yourself.

• 1:00:36Dax Shepard?

  When someone says I'm too short.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  Exactly. There's another story in the book where I talk about the same thing. Like, I got fired from this temp job because I was temping when I came out here to try to make ends meet. I can't do any sort of office admin. I can't even transfer a phone call. I am a Luddite through and through. And I was temping and this guy called down to the front desk and was like, who the fuck is that bimbo at the front desk? Let's get rid of her. I'm like, that would be me.

• 1:01:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, they called you?

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  I was like, I'm her. And you're absolutely right. I shouldn't be here. This is not my forte. I'm not gonna ever work in an office. I am never gonna succeed at this. And I also wanted to go to Starbucks and get a frappuccino. I couldn't wait to get fucking fired. And there was one at the bottom of the building. On that day where that guy talked to me in that way, I was in such a state of hopefulness and optimism about the future, even though I was in my early twenties and I was broke and I had nothing going on. Career-wise, I was just kind of hustling, trying to get by and figuring out what my in was gonna be into the entertainment industry. I didn't know what I was gonna do, but I had some ideas. And I remember leaving that day and being like, he's right, I don't belong here. And this is just more of an affirmation. I'm headed in the right direction. I can cross this off my list.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  That was another example. If he had caught me two days earlier where I wasn't feeling optimistic, where I wasn't feeling hopeful, where I was unsure of myself, I could have left that office in tears and been like, I'm worthless, I'm useless.

• 1:02:01Dax Shepard?

  I can't even do this.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  The mercurial nature of us as human beings. On the days where we don't feel strong and sure of ourselves and confident, those are the times to remind ourselves that this is a moment and that that strength and that confidence and that self-assuredness is just around the corner and probably gonna reappear very shortly.

• 1:02:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. How did you find yourself at dinner with Woody Allen and what did you ask him?

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  I blame Katie Couric for that. And Katie Couric's version of the story, which is so funny, we were at some dinner in New York. Katie was like, come with me to this dinner. And this was probably 15, 20 years ago too, probably longer, I don't know. So we go and there's all these men at this table and I don't know anyone. And then there's two seats across from me and we're waiting and I'm on the end of the table and I'm waiting to see, not waiting to see. Who's gonna be there, but just those were the two empty seats. And I see Woody Allen and Soon Yi walk in and I'm like, no. I'm not gonna do that.

• 1:02:57Dax Shepard?

  He's gonna be my table mates?

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  There's no way. I cannot kiss ass. I cannot be fake. I mean, I can a little bit because I've lived in LA for now 30 years, but I prefer not to be. I was kicking Katie under the table and I'm like, this isn't gonna go well. I'm gonna say something. I know myself. I have outbursts. I don't know when they're gonna happen. I'm as surprised as the next person when they do happen.

• 1:03:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm hearing it sometimes at the same time you are.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  Sure. When are you gonna shut up? And she was like, can you not? And I was like, well, no, I definitely am gonna say something. And she said, okay, can you wait? And I was like, wait for what? And she's like, can you wait to the end of the dinner?

• 1:03:31Dax Shepard?

  Like dessert?

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  And I was like, oh, I've never tried waiting. That's a fun endeavor. Maybe I can try this as an experiment. And so I did. And so I had this very fraudulent conversation with him, asking him about all the movies he directed. Tried to appear interested because I'm disgusted by Woody Allen. And I had to pretend that I wasn't disgusted by him and his daughter bride. I even asked him about Annie, confusing it with Annie Hall. I was like, so what was it like directing Annie? And he was like, I didn't direct that one. I was like, yeah, but you know about it, you sick fuck. And then it was like the first time I had ever had to employ patience. It is a virtue. I was like, let's see if I can do this. And I waited until the end of dinner and then the server went around and plated all of our desserts. It was blackberry cobbler. I'm like, I'm gonna get you now. And he went and took a bite of his blackberry cobbler and I leaned in and said,

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  so how did you two meet? To him and Soon Yi.

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  And the whole table just was like. But he was laughing, of course.

• 1:04:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he was?

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was chewing.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  I'm surprised he laughed.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  And then Katie's like, okay, it's time to go. First of all, I want to say I slept like a fucking baby that night because I was so happy that I didn't leave that dinner. Got home and I was like, I can't believe I just sat there and it was smiled.

• 1:04:40Dax Shepard?

  Cause you would have felt like you were cosigning.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Exactly. There is enough people in Hollywood who are fine with Woody Allen and I'm not.

• 1:04:46Dax Shepard?

  Side note to that, though, I have been challenging myself to say, no, my silence doesn't necessarily mean I'm cosigning on things. Cause I'm the sheriff everywhere. I'm trying to be like, no, you're not complicit in everything just because you didn't.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Fucking confronted.

• 1:05:01Dax Shepard?

  This binary option you've given yourself is a little bit of a story.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Well, again, that was pre-therapy. Were no options then. It's like if I don't say anything.

• 1:05:09Dax Shepard?

  Complicit in this?

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  I'm a rapist. Yeah. But when Katie told the story, I think she told it in her book, she said, Chelsea seemed to have forgotten the Woody Allen and Suni connection because she leaned in and asked them how they met. Katie, you think I fucking forgot? Like, I didn't forget. The whole point was to call him on it. Sweet. I know. Well, she knows now. We've discussed it.

• 1:05:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay, another question I had, because I'm imagining you experience this. We're both 50. We've been both doing this now, employed shockingly for like 25 years, or I don't know how long for you, but for me coming up on that. I occasionally see some people that remind me of myself coming up that are younger than me. And I have this insatiable compulsion. I want to grab their ear and go like, hey, man, fucking stay on the horse, but relieve yourself of these couple of things. Do you feel a compulsion when you identify someone that's got a similar vibe that you do, that's younger and coming up? Do you want to kind of help them avoid the seemingly unavoidable traps of it all?

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  When I'm needed and asked for that, I'm always available. You're generous. Always. I don't insert myself or feel like it's necessary for me to guide them because I think everyone's kind of iteration is so different. But with a lot of those girls that are coming up, if they need to lean on me, of course, I want to help anyone. I don't even have that great of advice. My advice to everyone is to be the fuck who you are and do not try to become anything that you're not. Authenticity is your main ingredient. If you are going to have a strong point of view and a strong sense of yourself, you are going to be limitless.

• 1:06:48Dax Shepard?

  I guess there's just things that I wish I was able to have missed along this journey. And I just wondered if there's some potholes that you feel implored to tell these young gals who do have a point of view.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, one of my best friends is a CEO of a big organization. And she always has mentors and she's always grown up with mentors. Whenever we travel the world, she has a huge. Job and I go with her to a lot of things and she'll be like, oh, this is my mentor. And I'm like, mentor, I never had a fucking mentor. I wish I had a mentor. But if I look back at my career, I don't know that I would have listened to anyone. I didn't listen to fucking anyone ever.

• 1:07:23Dax Shepard?

  I've never had a mentor either, but that's my failing. I never humbled myself enough to ask.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:07:28Dax Shepard?

  I also thought it felt opportunistic. I also thought anyone that I was a drag on wouldn't want to be around me. These were all insecurities. In confidence, I now have a couple mentors and I'd say, Jane's your mentor. But you had to be big enough to have a mentor at some point.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  It's an interesting question and I wonder what I would have changed had I had anyone advising me. But again, I think with all of these personalities, you really do have to have a strong sense of who you are and what your gut is telling you and your intuition and your intuitiveness. You have to understand what you're after. I never had a clear goal of what I was after. I just took opportunities or said, yeah, I think I'll do this now. And I just was lucky a lot of times. But I don't know if it's luck, if it's really you're dishing out what you have to offer the world.

• 1:08:18Dax Shepard?

  Well, and it repeats itself several times.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. And also when you do have failures, that is a good thing. It doesn't feel like a good thing when it happens, but it always ends up being a good thing.

• 1:08:28Dax Shepard?

  Story is like eating shit at the Montreal Comedy Festival.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:31Dax Shepard?

  Which is your first huge opportunity.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  My life was over. Zach Galifianakis walks me to my room and he's like, you're gonna want to be alone now. Like I was supposed to blow the festival up. I was like 26 or 27 years old. And I was the it girl and I was the new comedian on the Just for Laughs Festival, New Faces. And I was going to crush it and I ate my asshole. Like I ate shit. Like I had never. And I thought for sure, because I was so young and so immature and so not successful yet, that that was it. That I would never, ever have another chance. And then three days later, I had a development deal at NBC. So that's how quickly my luck changed. And in this industry, as we all know, you can fall down flat on your face and you can be fine a week later.

• 1:09:14Dax Shepard?

  It's another great book. You're a great writer. It's called, I'll Have What She's Having. Comes out on the most auspicious date of the year, 2/25/25, on your 50th birthday. Chelsea, I adore you. It's always fun. I hope we do it a dozen more times. Also, podcast?

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  Podcast, Dear Chelsea. Special comes out March 25th on Netflix. It's called The Feeling.

• 1:09:33Dax Shepard?

  The Feeling. Vegas residency?

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  Vegas residency.

• 1:09:37Dax Shepard?

  How does that work? Have you already begun that?

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  Uh huh. I perform once a month for the next two years.

• 1:09:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, just once a month?

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Once a month at the Cosmo Hotel, at the Chelsea Theater. I'm performing inside myself. Once a month. ChelseaHandler.com, you can find dates for that.

• 1:09:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay, when I saw residency, I'm like, she can't be possibly living 200 days a year in Vegas. And if so, I need to know how that's happening.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Do you want to do a residency? I'm like, um, this is the schedule. And they're like, actually, this is the schedule we had in mind. I was like, that's even better than what I had.

• 1:10:05Dax Shepard?

  Is it the same date every month?

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  No, it's just different.

• 1:10:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay. People should go to ChelseaHandler.com/book?

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  ChelseaHandler.com, you can find everything you need.

• 1:10:12Dax Shepard?

  You'll be able to navigate all these different.

• 1:10:14Speaker 02

  I'm always updating my website, you guys.

• 1:10:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you were in the car when you pulled in.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  I'll probably do that as soon as I leave here.

• 1:10:20Dax Shepard?

  I adore you. I'm gonna carry your hamstring compliment well into the evening.

• 1:10:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep sitting like that. Especially for the next...

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  For the next time you're with Jane, she'll like that, too. We've talked about the body parts we appreciate about men.

• 1:10:34Dax Shepard?

  Hamstrings is one of the main.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  Yes, definitely.

• 1:10:36Dax Shepard?

  You good boys, work those fucking hamstrings. Forget the chest. All right, adore you. Come back.

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:10:42Dax Shepard?

  Love you.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Love you, guys.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:10:53Speaker 04

  With a Spark Cash Plus card from Capital One, you earn unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. And you get big purchasing power, so your business can spend more and earn more.

• 1:11:05Dax Shepard?

  This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not-so-dreamy parts, the stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now, that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it, start to finish. Cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is, are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 1:11:49Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. We get support from our sponsor Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 1:12:20Speaker 05

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• 1:13:02Speaker 05

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• 1:13:17Speaker 02

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• 1:13:51Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 1:13:59Dax Shepard?

  Hi.

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  We just completed.

• 1:14:02Dax Shepard?

  Easter A.

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  We just completed a big interview. We're not going to say, we're going to be so elusive.

• 1:14:10Dax Shepard?

  Should we have pretended I just came from an event?

• 1:14:12Speaker 01

  You dressed up for this guest.

• 1:14:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  And the last time you did that was?

• 1:14:18Dax Shepard?

  Think I've only worn a suit one other time. I thought it was Bill Gates.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Remember, I won't wear a suit for Letterman when I get invited to his dinner party.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:29Dax Shepard?

  Remember?

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Okay, very mixed message. We just finished recording an episode that will be out in a few weeks. So you have to wait, you have to be so patient.

• 1:14:38Dax Shepard?

  To see who I wore a suit for?

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  Who did Dax wear a suit for? And?

• 1:14:44Dax Shepard?

  Is that your very favorite top?

• 1:14:46Speaker 01

  It's new.

• 1:14:46Dax Shepard?

  It's new?

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Dax Shepard?

  And is it the one you were feeling most bullish? Like, I guess what I'm asking is, did you save it?

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  I considered wearing it yesterday. Because we had also a great interview yesterday.

• 1:14:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, really, really fun yesterday.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  And so I was considering wearing it then. And then I decided to hold off for today. For today. I mean, obviously, we'll talk more about that episode on that episode.

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  It was a big one and it was a long time coming.

• 1:15:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I have an update.

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:15:18Dax Shepard?

  So, yeah, we recorded yesterday. And when I went to go in the sauna after work.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:25Dax Shepard?

  I took off my clothes in the kitchen and put on my bathing suit. Because it was downstairs and I want to go upstairs. And as I took my pants off, I realized, oh, you're wearing two pairs of underwear.

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 1:15:37Dax Shepard?

  So yesterday, in that interview, I was wearing two pairs of underwear.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:15:43Dax Shepard?

  This may not shock you, it was the same mysterious pair of underwear.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  The elephants?

• 1:15:48Dax Shepard?

  The elephants. So the elephants are

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  They are wily.

• 1:15:52Dax Shepard?

  There's something going on in this pair of panties. So what had happened was the night before I took off my pants.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Dax Shepard?

  And I had worn boxers that day.

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:16:03Dax Shepard?

  So I hung up my pants on a hook in my closet.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:16:06Dax Shepard?

  And then in the morning, I was like scrambling to get ready, take the girls and I put on, I grabbed a pair of fresh panties. The elephants.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:16:14Dax Shepard?

  Put them on, they're snug and then it got into my pants, not even realizing the boxers were still in there from the day before.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Oh my, you didn't even feel it?

• 1:16:22Dax Shepard?

  I didn't.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  Weird.

• 1:16:24Dax Shepard?

  Is that bad? I did have a slight memory of the time I went to the bathroom. I kinda was like, oh, I'm wearing boxers. I can use the barn door. No, I'm not. I'm wearing my elephant panties. I think I had felt the barn door boxers and then was like, no.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  You're like, oh, that's not. You second guess yourself. You should always trust your gut.

• 1:16:44Dax Shepard?

  I blew past it and then it was just a fun discovery.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:16:48Dax Shepard?

  Like, have you ever worn two pairs of underwear in an accident?

• 1:16:50Speaker 01

  I don't wanna say never, cause I don't wanna seem like above you. Well, I just don't wanna act like so superior.

• 1:16:57Dax Shepard?

  Actually, you don't wanna seem loose. I think it's prude to wear a couple pairs of underwear.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  But also it's, um, it's like.

• 1:17:04Dax Shepard?

  Something perverse?

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  It's like, you're just a mess.

• 1:17:07Dax Shepard?

  I think that's more what it was on that given day.

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  But it's just a mess. You don't even know what you're doing.

• 1:17:12Dax Shepard?

  I don't know how many pairs of underwear I'm wearing.

• 1:17:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:16Dax Shepard?

  That was a fun pop out though. And that second time those undies have been a pop out.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  I wonder what's next.

• 1:17:21Dax Shepard?

  I wonder what's next too.

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  I'm excited. Do you mind if I take a quick pause and order a coffee?

• 1:17:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, please do. That sounds fun.

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  I need it.

• 1:17:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, me too. Well, we are, our adrenaline was high.

• 1:17:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what it is. Okay. I'm ordering from Cookbook. It's a great place. Sorry about that. I just got very hungry and thirsty.

• 1:17:43Dax Shepard?

  Had you eaten breakfast?

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  I had an apple. Okay. I.

• 1:17:48Speaker 01

  I don't like apples.

• 1:17:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:17:50Speaker 01

  But I was at Cookbook.

• 1:17:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:17:56Speaker 01

  I went to Cookbook.

• 1:17:57Dax Shepard?

  This morning?

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  No, this weekend.

• 1:17:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:18:00Speaker 01

  It's a really, really cute market here in Los Angeles. It's kind of like McCall's.

• 1:18:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, great. Love McCall's.

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  I decided I wanted to go there to replen my spices.

• 1:18:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay, because you thought they had gone bad?

• 1:18:11Speaker 01

  I've been in a real, real spring cleaning moment.

• 1:18:16Dax Shepard?

  I don't understand how all you women are all synced on everything you're doing, because this is exactly what Kristen's been doing. And I bet all the other women in the pod have been doing it, too.

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  It's the new year. I think at the beginning of the year, you feel like you want to shed.

• 1:18:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  You just want to get rid of a bunch of stuff, start clean and minimal.

• 1:18:33Dax Shepard?

  Really quick, I wonder if that's geographical, because of course, in Michigan, you do spring cleaning.

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:18:39Dax Shepard?

  Which makes sense, because everything's going to be fresh, and you want everything to be fresh. But in a city with those seasons.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:18:46Dax Shepard?

  You have to just arbitrarily go, okay, first of the year makes sense.

• 1:18:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, for me, it's always first of the year. It's like, we got to start new.

• 1:18:56Dax Shepard?

  Do you ever say, start anew? Because that's a thing people say.

• 1:18:59Speaker 01

  That's old timey.

• 1:19:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  Have you heard that joke? It's like, a little too real this year, but LA does have seasons. It has two, fire and awards.

• 1:19:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  So I went to Cookbook to replen my spices.

• 1:19:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  And I got a little carried away in there, because everything's so cute.

• 1:19:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  And fun and bespoke, a word you hate.

• 1:19:23Dax Shepard?

  I don't hate bespoke, if you recall.

• 1:19:25Speaker 01

  I thought you were like-

• 1:19:26Dax Shepard?

  Our guest didn't like it.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:19:28Dax Shepard?

  I don't like attilier.

• 1:19:29Speaker 01

  Right, but I thought you were adding bespoke to the mix.

• 1:19:32Dax Shepard?

  I was just saying it's similar, but people don't overuse bespoke too much. I don't think they, people are using bespoke to seem fancy, or maybe they are.

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  I was just now.

• 1:19:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay, well, I'm open to changing my opinion on how I feel about it.

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  Okay, well, they had these little apples, and they were so little, but not those ba- those little baby ones people have.

• 1:19:55Dax Shepard?

  Not like Yody.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  Not like Yody, more like a Calvin.

• 1:19:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  And I thought they were so cute, so I got a few and then I also bought this new nut butter from there and it's so good.

• 1:20:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, what kind of nut is it made?

• 1:20:11Speaker 01

  Almond.

• 1:20:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:20:13Speaker 01

  Um, but it's from a farm. It's jarred there. Very bespoke.

• 1:20:17Dax Shepard?

  I'm sorry, I keep putting in the gutter, but nut butter does sound weird to me.

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz it sounds like duck butter.

• 1:20:23Dax Shepard?

  And it's nuts, like butter from the nuts, yeah.

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. So anyway, I've been eat, I ate an apple today.

• 1:20:31Dax Shepard?

  And you loved it. How big is it if you were to describe, is it bigger than a ping pong ball? Is it like the size of a tangerine?

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably.

• 1:20:40Dax Shepard?

  Or a little cutie?

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  More in the cutie, but more round.

• 1:20:43Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  You know, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:20:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, cuties are often squashed. They're more oval.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  Exactly. So you have to think of it round, but, but yeah.

• 1:20:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that's a tiny apple. There's three bites.

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  It's so cute.

• 1:20:54Dax Shepard?

  Aren't you into the core too quick?

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  I have to cut it up. I don't like the sensation of biting into an apple.

• 1:21:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  So I cut it still into quarters.

• 1:21:04Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I almost eat apples exclusively for that sensation of biting in.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Does it hurt your teeth?

• 1:21:10Dax Shepard?

  I feel like it's cleaning my teeth.

• 1:21:11Speaker 01

  Well, I have heard, or may, maybe you told me.

• 1:21:14Dax Shepard?

  My mother always said, if you don't have a toothbrush, eat an apple.

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  An apple a day.

• 1:21:18Dax Shepard?

  Keeps the dentist away.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  That's right. And the doctor, apparently. Very healthy product.

• 1:21:22Dax Shepard?

  Yes. So you loved it and you ate just one and you were satiated?

• 1:21:25Speaker 01

  With some of the nut butter.

• 1:21:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  I'll just say I'm hungry now.

• 1:21:29Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:21:30Speaker 01

  I'm hungry now. Um, post adrenaline dump. I have a couple of house keepings.

• 1:21:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 1:21:35Speaker 01

  We have a new fun game.

• 1:21:37Dax Shepard?

  Yes, explain it.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  I kept calling it the armchair map and I was, I was saying, oh, it's kind of like a detective's map where one thing leads to another. And the way it works is there's a quote from somebody. So at, at this point, it will already have been out. So people have probably already seen it. But this past week had a quote from Sam Richardson on Allison Jones.

• 1:22:01Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:22:02Speaker 01

  And then the next quote is Allison Jones on Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

• 1:22:08Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  And then the third is Julia. Louis Dreyfus on question mark. It's a blank.

• 1:22:14Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. That's where the riddle is.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's where it's a fun riddle and a fun game.

• 1:22:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:18Speaker 01

  And it's on stories. So you can like click and click the people. I think it's gonna be fun.

• 1:22:23Dax Shepard?

  And then the last thing you can click to a link to find out the answer.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:22:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, incredible.

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  Not, you don't have to listen to the whole episode, but it will, it will go directly to that spot and you'll hear the little clip.

• 1:22:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  Um, and then next week I'll start with that person.

• 1:22:38Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  And then every week we're gonna just snake through that little catalog of ours.

• 1:22:43Dax Shepard?

  This could be a huge challenge for you to try to eventually knock out all 860 guests.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  I'm excited.

• 1:22:50Dax Shepard?

  That's gonna be tough.

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  I'm gonna do it.

• 1:22:52Dax Shepard?

  We might have to start dropping some in inorganically.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Oh, but I decided to name it. Um, this is for our real hardcore listeners. Really get it. Get us. Armchair lacuna.

• 1:23:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  Cause you know lacuna, my favorite word, even you don't know.

• 1:23:13Dax Shepard?

  No. I mean, I know that you like that word, but I have forgotten what the na- what the meaning of lacuna is.

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  Uh, basically a missing gap.

• 1:23:20Dax Shepard?

  A missing gap.

• 1:23:22Speaker 01

  Yes. Cause like there's a lacuna in science. It's like that's the missing gap in science that people need to fill. So.

• 1:23:29Dax Shepard?

  Missing link, we would say in science.

• 1:23:31Speaker 01

  Sure. And this is a missing gap game.

• 1:23:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah. Okay. So it's gonna be called Armchair Lacuna?

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  Can it?

• 1:23:38Dax Shepard?

  Every time you say it, I know I always say lacuna matata, cause that's what it makes me think of.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  It's gonna be called Armchair Lacuna Matata.

• 1:23:44Dax Shepard?

  That would be great. Sign off on that.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  And, uh, that's from Yuval. Yuval taught us about lacuna and now it's my favorite word.

• 1:23:52Dax Shepard?

  Um, we got, uh, I got four electric motorcycles.

• 1:23:57Speaker 01

  Cool.

• 1:23:58Dax Shepard?

  For the family.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:23:59Dax Shepard?

  We took our inaugural ride through the neighborhood yesterday.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:24:03Dax Shepard?

  It's really fun. I don't think there's a moment where the similarities and the differences are so stark. Between Lincoln and I and Mom and Delta.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:24:14Dax Shepard?

  Mom and Delta ride the exact same way.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:24:17Dax Shepard?

  And it was, it's very comical. It's very fun.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  You make fun of them?

• 1:24:23Dax Shepard?

  Never. I'm very supportive. I'm so happy that they're willing to join.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:27Dax Shepard?

  They both get spooked pretty easy.

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Oh, sure.

• 1:24:29Dax Shepard?

  They're going much slower.

• 1:24:30Speaker 01

  I would be spooked.

• 1:24:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot, you know?

• 1:24:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:33Dax Shepard?

  And they're, they're fast.

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's scary.

• 1:24:36Dax Shepard?

  I was very proud of Delta. She's almost not tall enough for it.

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:24:39Dax Shepard?

  She's gotta be on her tiptoes when she stopped.

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 1:24:42Dax Shepard?

  She had a couple of episodes, but she really bailed out perfectly and everything was hunky dory.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:24:47Dax Shepard?

  But Lincoln's like popping wheelies and riding super fast.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  She's popping wheelies, but her feet fit. That's not really fair.

• 1:24:54Dax Shepard?

  Also, she just, we're so similar in this domain.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:24:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but it was incredibly fun. Um, my bad mood broke.

• 1:25:02Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:25:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it was almost like a fever.

• 1:25:04Speaker 01

  I'd love to hear that.

• 1:25:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  I think it broke yesterday.

• 1:25:09Dax Shepard?

  In our inner, well, in our meeting.

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  Meeting, I could tell.

• 1:25:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we had a, um, we had a company meeting, which we've never had. Just insane, if you think about it. But we had Emma on Zoom.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:25:20Dax Shepard?

  And it was the three of us in here.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:22Dax Shepard?

  And it was, um, instantly really fun.

• 1:25:24Speaker 01

  Good. I felt, I felt that you had released something.

• 1:25:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Emma just really makes me smile too.

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  Oh, that's nice.

• 1:25:34Dax Shepard?

  She reminds me so much of my two girl cousins. And she had a stupid dog on her lap.

• 1:25:37Speaker 01

  She did.

• 1:25:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:25:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  Emma gets credit for that. That's a, that's a hard one to swallow. It's a hard pill to swallow.

• 1:25:45Dax Shepard?

  I'm not giving her credit for it. I'm saying the whole meeting was so fun.

• 1:25:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:25:49Dax Shepard?

  But I get a bang out. I don't ever see Emma.

• 1:25:52Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:25:52Dax Shepard?

  And when I see her, I'm like, oh, that's right. Emma's delightful.

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  She is. She's an absolute delight. I love her. I love her.

• 1:25:59Dax Shepard?

  I love her too.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  I love her first.

• 1:26:00Dax Shepard?

  And then I just had a spring in my step the rest of the day, which was very nice.

• 1:26:04Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:26:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Still going a bit early.

• 1:26:06Speaker 01

  That's okay.

• 1:26:07Dax Shepard?

  I like it. I, I hope I can keep it going.

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  It's also because it's dark early still. And apparently it's six more weeks of winter because of Pugwani.

• 1:26:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it didn't go our way?

• 1:26:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:26:18Dax Shepard?

  Paksawana?

• 1:26:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, something like that.

• 1:26:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:21Speaker 01

  Puxawani?

• 1:26:22Dax Shepard?

  Do you think people ever really believed it?

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  I never believed it until now.

• 1:26:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  Now everyone's talking about it like, yeah.

• 1:26:30Dax Shepard?

  And it's bad. What is he? He's a chipmunk? No.

• 1:26:33Speaker 01

  No, he's a groundhog.

• 1:26:35Dax Shepard?

  Groundhog and he sees.

• 1:26:36Speaker 01

  Punxsutawney.

• 1:26:38Dax Shepard?

  Punxsutawney.

• 1:26:39Speaker 01

  Punxsutawney, you're right.

• 1:26:41Dax Shepard?

  I only know that because of the great movie. Groundhog Day.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  I've never seen it.

• 1:26:46Dax Shepard?

  You haven't? Oh, Monica.

• 1:26:49Speaker 01

  I know. It's, it's one of those that just, my Indian parents.

• 1:26:55Dax Shepard?

  Well, here we go.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  What's the first movie you ever saw in the movie theater?

• 1:26:59Dax Shepard?

  I think 10. And will you look that up, Rob? Because I know I was wrong about, um.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:07Dax Shepard?

  About Scarface.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:08Dax Shepard?

  That was actually eight. I was the old age of eight, so I shouldn't have been so traumatized by the chainsaw butchering scene.

• 1:27:14Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:27:15Dax Shepard?

  It came out in 1979. There we go. So that's Bo Derek naked on a beach.

• 1:27:21Speaker 01

  In 1979?

• 1:27:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  You were four?

• 1:27:24Dax Shepard?

  My Papa Bob took me to that. I tell you, my Papa Bob just took me to any movie he wanted to see. Cause I was his buddy on the weekend and he'd be like, we're going to, Quavodas was the movie theater, Quavodas.

• 1:27:35Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:27:35Dax Shepard?

  And it was a shrine to movie theaters, like a tiled exterior, which I had never seen.

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  They let you in?

• 1:27:42Dax Shepard?

  Well, sure. It wasn't NC 17.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  Was it R?

• 1:27:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. But I think my Papa Bob went to see Bo Derek naked.

• 1:27:49Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:27:49Dax Shepard?

  And brought me.

• 1:27:50Speaker 01

  He's your grandpa.

• 1:27:52Dax Shepard?

  He's my sweet grandpa. This is just reminding me that I had a teacher in high school. This is how much things have changed and how inappropriate this was, but yet had no problem saying this.

• 1:28:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:03Dax Shepard?

  In probably 10th grade, he was explaining, it was like a religion class and he was just explaining that Judaism doesn't have a hell.

• 1:28:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:28:12Dax Shepard?

  Like Christians have a hell.

• 1:28:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:28:14Dax Shepard?

  But Judaism doesn't have a hell or a devil, even though it's Old Testament.

• 1:28:18Speaker 01

  Right. Okay.

• 1:28:19Dax Shepard?

  And he said, that's why Jewish women were more sexual.

• 1:28:23Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 1:28:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, I mean, that was in a class.

• 1:28:28Speaker 01

  There's so many things that are problematic. One is that isn't true. There's nothing to substantiate that.

• 1:28:34Dax Shepard?

  That they're more sexual. Yeah, maybe he hooked up with one Jewish girl and blew his mind and he was like, why is this girl so...

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  And he had to tell his whole class about it.

• 1:28:41Dax Shepard?

  He had to figure out why. He's like, oh, it's mostly because she's not afraid to go to hell. And then I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell everyone.

• 1:28:47Speaker 01

  Now that's true. So I'm gonna teach that to these children. Wow.

• 1:28:52Dax Shepard?

  He also told a gay joke out loud. Yeah. You want to hear the gay joke?

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:28:57Dax Shepard?

  Even if you cut it out?

• 1:28:59Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:28:59Dax Shepard?

  He said, what's the difference between a gay man in a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

• 1:29:06Speaker 01

  Oh my God. That was the joke?

• 1:29:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, in class.

• 1:29:11Speaker 01

  Wait, how old? What grade?

• 1:29:14Dax Shepard?

  10th or 11th grade.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Oh, oh my God. That's like more than a gay joke. That is also sexual. This guy is perverted. No.

• 1:29:24Dax Shepard?

  You know what it was is he had teenage sons. He had like a 18 and a 20 year old son. I think he was hearing their jokes and he was just repeating them to us.

• 1:29:33Speaker 01

  For someone who's awfully spidey sensed.

• 1:29:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he does.

• 1:29:36Speaker 01

  I have it.

• 1:29:37Dax Shepard?

  You have it.

• 1:29:38Speaker 01

  I have that about him.

• 1:29:39Dax Shepard?

  It's an anal sex joke, really.

• 1:29:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:43Dax Shepard?

  The joke could have been, what's the difference between a freezer and women who have anal sex? That would have been very, I think you would have lost everyone at the setup.

• 1:29:52Speaker 01

  He is extremely sexual.

• 1:29:58Dax Shepard?

  I don't think he was that sexual, but.

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  All the, you have to admit, this is, one of those things is wild. Two, that's a pattern.

• 1:30:07Dax Shepard?

  I had him several times over the years. I think it was spread out by a year or two.

• 1:30:12Speaker 01

  Still.

• 1:30:13Dax Shepard?

  I don't know why I'm defending him. Well, I liked him. He was a very nice guy. That's, that's why. He was one of these fun teachers, you know, that you're excited to go to his class.

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, most of the...

• 1:30:22Dax Shepard?

  What? He's like talking about sex.

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  Maybe this is a teaching moment for people.

• 1:30:27Dax Shepard?

  All right.

• 1:30:27Speaker 01

  Most of the people you think who are molesters.

• 1:30:31Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  Are not like, they're this like creepy old creep in the corner. Like they're good at grooming and getting people to think they're charming. And it's a thing.

• 1:30:43Dax Shepard?

  See, I have a totally different point of view, which is like, I'm outwardly perverted. And then I'm not secretly perverted. I think it's more Cosby, who's like lecturing people on propriety. And he's secretly a pro. I think that's more.

• 1:30:56Speaker 01

  Okay, that's an interesting take. But grooming is very specific and it's someone who's just like a creep in the corner is not going to be good at groom. Well, some of them maybe.

• 1:31:07Dax Shepard?

  I think you're right in that groomers are like gregarious and outgoing and flattering and kind. But I also don't think they ever do anything sexual or talk about anything like that. I, I do, I do think that's true for the most part.

• 1:31:22Speaker 01

  I don't think.

• 1:31:22Dax Shepard?

  They try to come off as like, I'm the one guy who loves being around 13 year old girls, but for no real reason. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:31:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:29Dax Shepard?

  You can't be like coach of a 13 year old soccer team, girls and make pervy jokes. It's off the table.

• 1:31:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 1:31:37Dax Shepard?

  Right. We agree.

• 1:31:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:31:41Dax Shepard?

  It's the super G rated friendly, supportive guy. That's the groomer. That's building trust and confidence with the parents. Like Michael Jackson, like I'm a child. I'm not even sexual.

• 1:31:54Speaker 01

  God, yeah, I know.

• 1:31:56Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:31:56Speaker 01

  But also I think it depends on the age. Yes, when they're like 13 or 14 or 15, 14 or younger. If, if they said something sexual, that's obviously a teacher would be like, I mean, a parent would be like, that person has to be fired immediately.

• 1:32:15Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:32:15Speaker 01

  But once you get into that 11th, 12th grade.

• 1:32:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, where we're kind of adults, we're having sex.

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:32:22Dax Shepard?

  A lot of the students are having sex.

• 1:32:23Speaker 01

  Then grooming becomes a different game.

• 1:32:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:32:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32:29Dax Shepard?

  Now there was a groomer at my school. But he was like everyone's best friend and he didn't make any pervy jokes.

• 1:32:37Speaker 01

  He did not to you. You weren't the one he was grooming.

• 1:32:39Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 1:32:44Speaker 01

  Did someone-

• 1:32:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I know what I want to say.

• 1:32:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32:47Dax Shepard?

  We always try to shine a light on great TV shows we love. Documentaries, books.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:54Dax Shepard?

  I want to shine a light on Chappelle's monologue.

• 1:32:57Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 1:32:57Dax Shepard?

  On SNL a few weeks back. I've watched it four or five times.

• 1:33:01Speaker 01

  I watched it multiple times, too.

• 1:33:03Dax Shepard?

  It is so great. That just made me think of him saying, "I'm ugly."

• 1:33:11Dax Shepard?

  It's such a good monologue. It's like incredibly funny and then it's impossibly poignant at the end.

• 1:33:18Speaker 01

  It's a little risky. It's all, it's him. It's, it's everything that makes him so great.

• 1:33:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:26Speaker 01

  In just, yeah, one, one 10-minute thing. It's so good because Chappelle, you know, I know there's issues, right? People have issues with things he said and I don't agree with everything he's said. But if you hear him interviewed and it's rare.

• 1:33:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  He's religious. You know, he is Muslim and he is very into being good.

• 1:33:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, mindful and thoughtful.

• 1:33:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:33:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:58Speaker 01

  And obviously in comedy, that gets put on a shelf.

• 1:34:02Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:34:02Speaker 01

  But then you hear it as this like very subtle through line. He'll pop that in.

• 1:34:09Dax Shepard?

  His spirit comes out.

• 1:34:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, and in this monologue, he, he comments on Trump's bringing up that people are eating dogs. The Haitians are eating dogs and cats in Ohio. And he says, you know, "I'm from there." He's not like, "I'm from there and that was really bad."

• 1:34:29Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  But he's just, he said like, "That annoyed me because I'm from there and that's not what happened. This is what happened."

• 1:34:36Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  And then he tells this very sweet, and he's not trying to be self-congratulatory. It's like on its way to a joke. But he just slips in that he went to those restaurants.

• 1:34:46Dax Shepard?

  Yep. He said, "If it's safe for me here, it's safe for you."

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  Every day to eat and support those businesses. And like, obviously, I don't think that's the part people are necessarily taking, but it is what I took.

• 1:34:58Dax Shepard?

  That's like the best monologue I've ever seen, I think.

• 1:35:00Speaker 01

  It was incredible. And then he pulls it all the way back around to empathy and-

• 1:35:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, god.

• 1:35:05Speaker 01

  Really, really, really something.

• 1:35:08Dax Shepard?

  That's why I hate poor people.

• 1:35:12Dax Shepard?

  They can't see through their own pain.

• 1:35:15Speaker 01

  That's so funny. Yeah, I highly recommend watching that.

• 1:35:22Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:35:35Speaker 01

  Well, that's a ding ding ding.

• 1:35:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:35:37Speaker 01

  Cause stand up comedian Chelsea.

• 1:35:41Dax Shepard?

  Ah, yes, yes.

• 1:35:43Speaker 01

  Chelsea. Um, we love fucking love Chelsea.

• 1:35:46Dax Shepard?

  She's so fun.

• 1:35:47Speaker 01

  She's so fun. She is so smart.

• 1:35:50Dax Shepard?

  Every time we talk to her, it's like.

• 1:35:51Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:35:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:52Speaker 01

  That seems to be her goal in life is to just like get better at all things.

• 1:35:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:58Speaker 01

  Um, and I just adore, I really adore.

• 1:36:01Dax Shepard?

  I adore it too.

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  Okay, the Critics' Choice Awards, she said, oh yeah, we recorded on the Wednesday of the fires. So things Tuesday is when the first of it started. So Wednesday, it hadn't gotten crazy yet, but it still did. The Eaton Fire started Tuesday night. So it was like all starting, but we didn't know how intense everything was gonna get. Um, and so she said at that point even, the Critics' Choice Awards were pushed to the 26th because of the fires. But since then, they've been pushed to February 7th, which is Friday. No, which is, it was Friday.

• 1:36:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Congratulations, everyone who won a Critics'.

• 1:36:43Speaker 01

  Congratulations. Oh, speaking of that.

• 1:36:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:45Speaker 01

  Um, we have a playlist out of all the award nominated people.

• 1:36:53Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:36:53Speaker 01

  Guests that we've ever had.

• 1:36:55Dax Shepard?

  Now getting volumous. It's.

• 1:36:57Speaker 01

  It was, it's a big list and we did Grammys, Critics' Choice, SAG, Oscar, Golden Globe.

• 1:37:06Dax Shepard?

  Did you see Cynthia Rebo sing on the Grammys by chance? She played with Herbie Hancock.

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  Oh, amazing.

• 1:37:12Dax Shepard?

  They did a Sinatra song.

• 1:37:13Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 1:37:14Dax Shepard?

  It's pretty wild.

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  Best.

• 1:37:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:16Speaker 01

  Um, she's on there.

• 1:37:18Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:37:18Speaker 01

  She's on the playlist. But yeah, so just the nominees for this year who we've had on and and we got a lot. We have a lot of them.

• 1:37:26Dax Shepard?

  My girls are getting old enough where they have like interests that I didn't introduce them to.

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:30Dax Shepard?

  I mean, I guess it's been going on for a while, but this was the first time that like Lincoln needed to watch the Grammys.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 1:37:37Dax Shepard?

  And that shouldn't be anything. I got feels. I don't know. There feels like some tension parentally.

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  Oh, tell me.

• 1:37:45Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think as I'm watching her get enamored with celebrity.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:37:52Dax Shepard?

  On some level, and they've kind of been inoculated to that with actors because they have met a lot of them and they're not that impressive.

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:01Dax Shepard?

  So I get a knee jerk like, um, you know, worshiping celebrity is a weird thing. It's like, this just goes through my mind. And then I go, I always watch the Academy Awards like in Michigan. None of my friends understood. I remember Aaron and I were one time out drinking for the day and I was like, we gotta find a bar that's showing.

• 1:38:21Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:38:21Dax Shepard?

  Why do we need to sit? And we found this fucking shithole bar in South Lyon and I made them put on the Academy Awards. No one in there wanted to watch it.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:29Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, yeah, I wanted to watch that and I liked it.

• 1:38:31Speaker 01

  Even then you wanted to. See, that's interesting. You act like you.

• 1:38:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, I was 19. I think I had or even 20, maybe I'd already moved to California.

• 1:38:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:38:41Dax Shepard?

  But yeah, I was interested in it and I wanted to see it. And so I quickly talked myself out of anything. I don't know why it even crosses my mind. It's just like, it's just weird to see them.

• 1:38:53Speaker 01

  Get excited.

• 1:38:53Dax Shepard?

  Get excited about like celebrity culture.

• 1:38:56Speaker 01

  Well, that's funny. I have a few responses to that.

• 1:39:00Dax Shepard?

  Please hit me.

• 1:39:00Speaker 01

  One is I, yes, I grew up watching the Oscars, the Golden Globes, really those two.

• 1:39:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:08Speaker 01

  But I had to watch it. There was no option and I was young doing that.

• 1:39:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:14Speaker 01

  Um, for my whole life, only in, I mean, ironically, I, I stopped once I kind of got here.

• 1:39:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:22Speaker 01

  And started knowing people and stuff. I was like, I don't necessarily, although sometimes it's still, it's fun. It's a fun thing to do. It's a fun party. Um, but. I think it's incredible to want to aspire for something and to see this this thing that's hard to have and want it.

• 1:39:45Dax Shepard?

  I agree. And also, I'll tell you where I came to. Once it was playing in the background and I was like making dinner. I was like, actually, if there's any award show I'd want them to watch, it would be the Grammys because you're actually seeing them do their talent.

• 1:40:00Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:40:01Dax Shepard?

  They get it up and perform. Every two seconds, there's an incredible performance.

• 1:40:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:05Dax Shepard?

  Like, you're not watching the actors act.

• 1:40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:08Dax Shepard?

  I mean, there's some clips. So that, I'm just saying, that one is way more, you could argue, is way more celebrity culture because you're just like, oh, here's those people in movies.

• 1:40:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:40:16Dax Shepard?

  See them in real life.

• 1:40:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:17Dax Shepard?

  Whereas like, of course, you should watch the Grammys. They're performing and you love these songs and this music.

• 1:40:23Speaker 01

  Hi. Oh, my God. Thank you. I needed that. Thank you.

• 1:40:30Dax Shepard?

  Thank you.

• 1:40:32Speaker 01

  Kristen's here.

• 1:40:35Speaker 01

  It's Skims.

• 1:40:36Dax Shepard?

  You were at choir the whole time the Grammys was on, yeah?

• 1:40:41Dax Shepard?

  You saw some of it, right? Yeah, we saw Cynthia Revo singing.

• 1:40:44Speaker 06

  Fly Me to the Moon?

• 1:40:45Dax Shepard?

  Fly Me to the Moon with with Herbie Hancock.

• 1:40:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did. They were incredible. Also, she pulled a you. Did you see that?

• 1:40:52Speaker 06

  I'm sorry. What?

• 1:40:54Speaker 01

  She Cynthia, I need you to be on mic, but Cynthia pulled a you where she, um, we cut to Taylor Swift. And Cynthia is like sitting next to her in like a half chair because she couldn't get to her seat. And it's what you did at the Golden Globes with Cynthia. This is sort of like armchair map.

• 1:41:14Speaker 06

  Did Cynthia manifest that like I manifested at the Golden Globes?

• 1:41:17Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 1:41:19Dax Shepard?

  She's.

• 1:41:19Speaker 01

  She's paying it forward.

• 1:41:21Speaker 06

  She is paying it.

• 1:41:22Speaker 01

  Who's Taylor gonna sit next to?

• 1:41:26Speaker 06

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:41:27Speaker 01

  Me, I hope.

• 1:41:27Speaker 06

  That was to date, one of the best moments of my life.

• 1:41:30Speaker 01

  If people don't know, Kristen at the Golden Globes didn't make it to her seat in time after commercial.

• 1:41:35Speaker 06

  Right?

• 1:41:36Speaker 01

  Right. And then they cut to Cynthia and Ariana and Kristen's just in the middle.

• 1:41:42Speaker 06

  Well, sort of. I had been down chatting. So there's like, um, tiers.

• 1:41:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:41:46Speaker 06

  Kind of like farming.

• 1:41:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:48Speaker 06

  And it's very, uh, the.

• 1:41:50Dax Shepard?

  Segregated.

• 1:41:51Speaker 06

  Yep. The movie people are in the center pool and then the TV people, the TV actors, and then the people who actually make all the stuff and are responsible.

• 1:41:59Speaker 01

  The good, the real.

• 1:42:00Speaker 06

  The workers.

• 1:42:02Dax Shepard?

  For the reason everyone's there.

• 1:42:03Speaker 06

  Are on the outskirts and I was in the middle row at the middle tier. And I went down to go talk to Ben and Melissa and I lost track of time. This isn't going to shock anyone and I ran down. Cause I think you were probably watching the game or something and I ran down and um.

• 1:42:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, we ran down together. You just got a little sidetracked. I made it back in time and you like the door was slamming and Indiana Jones.

• 1:42:26Speaker 06

  Is that correct?

• 1:42:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we both went down together. Cause I remember passing you and thinking, oh, she's gonna, she's gonna be down to the wire on this one. I think the band's queuing up.

• 1:42:35Speaker 06

  The band was queuing up and then the lights went down and Nikki came out on stage and I was, I just went like this.

• 1:42:45Speaker 06

  And for the listeners, she just ducked.

• 1:42:47Dax Shepard?

  Yep, she did a duck down.

• 1:42:49Speaker 06

  Couldn't barely sit in that dress. Oh, yeah. And I ducked down and then I just kinda like, I don't know. You scooted. Yeah, a little bit to trying to go to my seat.

• 1:43:01Dax Shepard?

  That would have been great if they would have cut to you truly army crawling.

• 1:43:07Speaker 06

  And then they'd go, that's why we don't let you in the center circle. That's right. And then Cynthia saw me sneaking past her chair and she goes, what on earth are you doing? I was like, I gotta get to my seat. And she was like, no, come, come, come. And then Ariana was like, here, share my seat. And then I sat there and then over the course of the next five seconds, they both took my hands. I know. And I was in the center of the finger holding. I know. From the wicked press tour and I was like, just taking it in a minute. And then when I came to, I clocked that Nikki Glaser had started to do a wicked bit. And then my smile from like enjoying this fangirl moment went to, oh my God, they're about to cut to them. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

• 1:43:52Dax Shepard?

  Why is this?

• 1:43:55Speaker 06

  And then they and then I just whispered into their ears. I went, I'm so sorry. And they and they almost, I feel like my memory is that it was at the same time. They both turned to me and they go, we're so happy you're here.

• 1:44:10Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Is it implanted?

• 1:44:14Speaker 06

  And see Cynthia's got my hand and then Ariana had, I was crossed because Ariana had grabbed the other hand. The whole thing was just a dream.

• 1:44:21Dax Shepard?

  You look like you're really hanging on by a thread and um

• 1:44:24Speaker 06

  Cause look, I was

• 1:44:25Dax Shepard?

  Your interlocked arms with Ariana.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  And holding hands with Cynthia.

• 1:44:29Speaker 06

  And holding space for Wicked.

• 1:44:32Speaker 01

  Which your Christmas tree was wicked. It all circles back. It's you did you did manifest it.

• 1:44:37Dax Shepard?

  You came up, um, I missed it. Obviously I couldn't see it because I was in the nosebleeds, but you came up and you were so shook and you're like,

• 1:44:47Speaker 06

  Well, because I love to love things and I think like it might, people might assume that if you're in this business and and see projects happening around you that they just become mundane. They do not. And I was so into Wicked. So into I'm a, I feel like I'm a Comic Con fangirl just waiting to manifest a moment like that.

• 1:45:07Speaker 01

  This circles back to what we were talking about before you entered, which is that Lincoln was watching the Grammys and you were saying, Dax was saying that at first it was kind of like irking him that they

• 1:45:19Dax Shepard?

  I had this weird dilemma. Do you have this at all? Like she had turned it on on her own and she was watching it and my knee jerk was like, oh, I don't want her to get obsessed with celebrity culture. I didn't say anything and I came to like, no, I loved the Academy Awards. Like it's a thing, but it's just weird that I have this knee jerk of like, well, I don't want her to be obsessed with celebrity culture.

• 1:45:38Speaker 06

  Anytime there's an unhealthy avenue in a, a want, I think we get concerned for our kids because you may do that when she turns on an award show. I do that when they start to eat a candy bar. I go,

• 1:45:51Speaker 01

  Right. Well, because it's a fine line. It can cross over, but as long as it stays in the line, then then you can, you should always hope that you have some joy for it.

• 1:46:02Dax Shepard?

  Within 10 minutes, I was like, oh no, I'm fine with it. It's great. And look how happy she is. But I just had this thought of like, oh, I don't want her to worship these people.

• 1:46:12Speaker 06

  Well, here's, but, but she also specifically watches the Grammys over anything else because she loves to sing. She's obsessed with music. She's obsessed with learning how to sing, doing plays at her school. So like, she wants to see all the singers and there's a, there's a way you could view that, that she's obsessed with this craft.

• 1:46:31Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:46:31Speaker 06

  She wants to see the best singers. Also, it's okay if she's obsessed with, yeah.

• 1:46:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:35Speaker 06

  I thought you were gonna say something totally different because you're such a known contrarian. And that you would have this opinion, I thought, were you irked at all about how much of the firefighters and the LA fires were featured on the Grammys?

• 1:46:52Dax Shepard?

  I don't know if I'm allowed to answer, but boy, do you know me very well.

• 1:46:56Speaker 06

  I mean, yeah, obviously.

• 1:46:57Dax Shepard?

  Every single interview was about it. I, I, I, yeah, I, I get worried when I think I'm witnessing pandering or virtue signaling. So it's interesting. Well. Cause I am so fucking grateful for the firefighters, like truly in my heart, I'm so blown away. I'm so grateful for them. They're fucking awesome. And yet I did feel uncomfortable with every single conversation. It just felt like if I were in the rest of the country, I would feel like, well, was everyone given a script? This is all they can talk about?

• 1:47:32Speaker 06

  Let me ask you a couple of follow-ups. Does it change your opinion that they raised $7 million during that show?

• 1:47:38Dax Shepard?

  Um, I think it's great that they raised $7 million.

• 1:47:42Speaker 06

  What is the alternative? Not featuring any firefighters and not raising $7 million?

• 1:47:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I don't mind that firefighters were there and I don't mind that they donated the money of the show to it. It was that every single interview on the red carpet was about it. And the way the interviewers were being very saccharine about everything.

• 1:48:04Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 1:48:05Dax Shepard?

  It started to feel a little disingenuous. I guess that's my main, but I didn't say one word out loud.

• 1:48:10Speaker 06

  Uh-uh, but I read, uh, there was an op-ed in the LA Times and let me start by saying like, I do respect everyone's opinion and they're all allowed to have their own opinion, but I just in my bones vehemently so disagreed with this because it said the Grammys were trying to give credit to the, the firefighters and ended up, uh, using everyone involved in the fire as pawns, basically. And I-

• 1:48:37Speaker 06

  Sat there and I thought, was that true? Let me think about it. Let me read a little bit of this. And after reading it, I thought, what is the alternative?

• 1:48:47Speaker 01

  What is the alternative?

• 1:48:47Speaker 06

  That they don't mention the LA fires at all?

• 1:48:49Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:48:50Speaker 06

  And that they don't raid $7 million? Or let me give you an even crueler alternative. That they have a charity event with no Grammy artists, no celebrities whatsoever, that nobody's watches, and then $100 is raised. And I'm like, so clearly gonna choose the utilitarian outcome there. But it did make me think that about how saccharine it can become. And you don't want anyone to feel like they're used as pawns. But there is no alternative. And I, for one, liked seeing how much they were saying, "Thank you for seeing our area."

• 1:49:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and that's why I never said anything out loud. I would have never brought up my opinion. I didn't even know that thing was written. But like everything, it's just, what is your childhood? And when people, I'm triggered by people who are broadcasting how good they are. I'm nervous.

• 1:49:39Speaker 06

  Because it might be exploitative.

• 1:49:40Dax Shepard?

  I think they're deceptive, yeah.

• 1:49:41Speaker 01

  What, for the actual firefighters themselves, what is getting exploited?

• 1:49:46Dax Shepard?

  If I needed to find a motive, I would say, um, someone's like, "Look how good I am. I'm so concerned about this and I'm..."

• 1:49:54Speaker 01

  So yeah, that's like bragging, I guess, right?

• 1:49:56Dax Shepard?

  Just like virtue signaling. I think it triggers whatever baggage I have about religious people growing up.

• 1:50:02Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:50:03Dax Shepard?

  They were so pious and they had this...

• 1:50:05Speaker 01

  But there's a hypocrisy there. That's what's triggering, right?

• 1:50:07Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And so that's what I'm saying, like, none of it is true.

• 1:50:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:11Dax Shepard?

  It's just my knee jerk is like, "This feels a little too grandstanding as I thought the religious people who were very pious in preaching their purity, and I thought they were all full of shit."

• 1:50:24Speaker 01

  And they were full of shit. But I think this one, these people, everyone in this city, is not full of shit.

• 1:50:31Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:50:31Speaker 01

  When they are saying, "This fucking sucked. We appreciate these firefighters. The city's sort of in sham... You know, everyone here is real."

• 1:50:39Speaker 06

  Particularly the Grammys, because musicians are known to have things like Band-Aid, um, you know, although We Are The World, like, they're known to band together and raise money for causes with their art, way more than actors are.

• 1:50:54Speaker 01

  But it's a natural thing to think. I mean, we've talked about it, because Kristen's gonna host the SAG Awards.

• 1:51:00Speaker 06

  As a massive virtue signaler. Oh, sorry?

• 1:51:02Speaker 01

  Because she, all she does is virtue signal. And it's like, pull it back. She's hosting the Zagward, and so we've of course had these conversations. What are we gonna do? How are we gonna do it?

• 1:51:11Speaker 06

  I said, "Don't invite any actors, just invite firefighters." It didn't...

• 1:51:14Speaker 01

  That'd be a hot room.

• 1:51:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh my god.

• 1:51:17Speaker 06

  I'm gonna push back a tiny bit on virtue signaling. I also don't like it. I also have a lot of experience in the philanthropy space, which I've been in since I've been 25 years old. And let me start by saying, never is there bigger egos than in the philanthropy space.

• 1:51:33Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:51:33Speaker 06

  But, as we've learned... Cricks?

• 1:51:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're here. They're here to stay. There's nothing we can do.

• 1:51:40Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:51:40Dax Shepard?

  Garage door.

• 1:51:41Speaker 06

  Um, as we've learned that emotions are contagious, which is proven.

• 1:51:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:48Speaker 06

  And we are chimps and we watch our alphas. Dare I say, without virtue signaling, kindness, compassion, empathy, giving, generosity, might not travel at the speed it travels, unless people talk about it. And there's obviously a fine line because you wanna do it with humility and...

• 1:52:10Speaker 01

  And it needs to be genuine.

• 1:52:11Speaker 06

  It needs to be genuine, yeah.

• 1:52:12Speaker 01

  That's the main... It just has to be real.

• 1:52:14Dax Shepard?

  It's like anything else. Like, uh, there's great people in AA and there's fucking terrible people in AA. And there's great people volunteering and there's people just trying to get a pat on the back. So, um, I always, though, I hope you know, I'm grateful that people are the way they are. I'm glad, I'm very grateful not everyone is cynical like me. Or, not even cynical, skeptical. And I'm glad that I'm skeptical, cuz you guys need me sometimes. And this is a time where we need the really optimistic helpers. And I know to shut up and get out of the way and not share my opinion when I'm watching it. So, it's like, I don't think one's bad or good. I think I'm one thing and you're naturally this way and you're naturally that way.

• 1:52:56Dax Shepard?

  And there's a time for me, when the guy comes to the door selling you steaks, the Dak steps up. You know, and there's another time that I sit, sit down and shut the fuck up.

• 1:53:08Speaker 06

  I have needed a lot of your guidance over the years and yours, Monica, because I'm so like just ready to wear my heart on my sleeve and be like, and just believe any story without a second thought. And I've needed both of you to talk me off a ledge a couple of times of like, does this really seem like the best use of your time or use of your money? Yeah, I'm grateful.

• 1:53:27Dax Shepard?

  Will this really impact anything?

• 1:53:29Speaker 06

  Right, right, right. Think about the impact.

• 1:53:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I mean, the defeatist in me is like, when they raise money, I'm like, this is a $253 billion issue. What is throwing any amount of money other than the government and these huge insurance companies? Like, we're making all these people on the ground try to offset this thing that is so enormous. You know, there's

• 1:53:51Speaker 06

  You're missing a very, very key component

• 1:53:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:53:54Speaker 06

  of participation and feeling linked to

• 1:53:59Dax Shepard?

  The solution.

• 1:54:00Speaker 06

  The solution. Yeah. So if somebody in the middle of Minnesota can donate $10, that my, this is what my aunt calls it to my mom, you actually steal her blessings if you're not allowing her to do that, or him. You're, you need to let people participate. You need to let, you need to let people participate Yeah. and be a part of the solution. And it's actually self, self-esteem comes from esteemable acts.

• 1:54:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:26Speaker 06

  Track your story.

• 1:54:28Dax Shepard?

  I, listen, I'm, as I, I want to say a million times, I'm so happy everyone's not like me.

• 1:54:34Speaker 01

  I think that is a big point that no one really talks about. It is not, it's important for people to feel like they're contributing because otherwise they're like, well then, what does it matter? I don't matter.

• 1:54:48Speaker 06

  Can't do anything.

• 1:54:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. So you actually need to give people opportunities to feel like they have an impact.

• 1:54:55Dax Shepard?

  We don't need a single more person like me. I'm just gonna be honest about who I am, which is, um, you know.

• 1:55:01Speaker 06

  No, no, we do. You're, you're a very valuable member of this household and society.

• 1:55:05Dax Shepard?

  Every few months.

• 1:55:07Speaker 06

  You have a lot. I've learned a lot.

• 1:55:08Dax Shepard?

  Something needs lifting, something needs wrenching on.

• 1:55:11Speaker 06

  Hmm. I'm gonna need an electric motorcycle ride.

• 1:55:14Dax Shepard?

  I just brought that up in the fact check. I was saying, we went for our first, all four people, family motorcycle ride.

• 1:55:20Speaker 06

  I hope that's all you said.

• 1:55:23Dax Shepard?

  I said that I don't know if the similarities between the four of us are more pronounced ever than you and Delt on a motorcycle and me and Lincoln on a motorcycle. It's like the starkest it gets, I think.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  Delt and I are both on the verge of tears the whole time. Yeah, sounds scary.

• 1:55:41Dax Shepard?

  Just reading through it.

• 1:55:41Speaker 01

  And, and the cortisol jolts are so strong. Although I did, I did enjoy it.

• 1:55:45Dax Shepard?

  You did a great job and I hope, I was very supportive, wasn't I?

• 1:55:48Speaker 01

  Yes, you were very supportive.

• 1:55:49Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and I even yelled at Lincoln when she was making fun of her mom.

• 1:55:52Speaker 01

  Just the whole time.

• 1:55:53Dax Shepard?

  It was really fun.

• 1:55:54Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm gonna leave you.

• 1:55:55Dax Shepard?

  I love you.

• 1:55:55Speaker 01

  I love you. Love you. Thank you for bringing my coffee.

• 1:55:58Dax Shepard?

  Well, she tried to drop a controversy bomb right on my lap. People are gonna be mad at me.

• 1:56:02Speaker 01

  Well, um, okay.

• 1:56:04Dax Shepard?

  It's your fault.

• 1:56:05Speaker 01

  Real quick, cause we're gonna wrap this, this one up fast. Just a few facts for Chelsea.

• 1:56:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:56:11Speaker 01

  So it got pushed to the seventh. Bitcoin today.

• 1:56:20Dax Shepard?

  I wonder if it went up. The stock market took a shit with all this tariff.

• 1:56:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:56:24Dax Shepard?

  War stuff.

• 1:56:24Speaker 01

  Oh, it did not. It is at $97,274. You said she got a CO2 LASIK. You meant laser. That's a facial procedure to make your skin look young and fresh.

• 1:56:41Dax Shepard?

  I hear, everything always promotes collagen production. That's what I always hear.

• 1:56:44Speaker 01

  Sure. My posture is bad is a fact.

• 1:56:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:56:49Speaker 01

  And you gave me some back exercises to do. I did them once.

• 1:56:54Dax Shepard?

  You did them?

• 1:56:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:56:55Dax Shepard?

  Is your posture all better? It's pretty good right now. Do you have shoulder pads in?

• 1:56:58Speaker 01

  It's not good because it's also-

• 1:57:00Dax Shepard?

  Does that have shoulder pads?

• 1:57:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:57:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:57:03Speaker 01

  Do my shoulders look huge?

• 1:57:04Dax Shepard?

  They look, they look, um, back and powerful.

• 1:57:06Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Okay. Well, I also put my jeans smell.

• 1:57:10Dax Shepard?

  Your jeans smell?

• 1:57:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, they just smell like they haven't been washed, cause they haven't, because I learned you don't really have to wash your jeans, but I think you do have to wash your jeans, because they start smelling.

• 1:57:21Dax Shepard?

  You don't have to wash them, but you do have to pull your underwear out from the night before, or you'll end up wearing double panties.

• 1:57:25Speaker 01

  That's fair. That, that we can do.

• 1:57:27Dax Shepard?

  Double panties, MCO.

• 1:57:29Speaker 01

  Ah, all right. Well, that's that.

• 1:57:31Dax Shepard?

  That was all the facts?

• 1:57:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, for Chelsea.

• 1:57:32Dax Shepard?

  All right. Love you.

• 1:57:33Speaker 01

  All right, love you.