Pod Insights Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard Mom's Car: Monica Padman About this episode On this week’s episode of Mom’s Car we welcome none other than the Duchess of Duluth, Monica Padman. Dax, Monica, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through the most tempted they’ve been to sample their own wares, a definitely real, meet-cute write-in question that could have been a full-circle big twist, why Monica’s kink is sick men and tasty food, a historic review of pubic hair styles, and whether there’s something unattractive or scary about a partner being totally immersed in a new pursuit.
#sponsored by @Allstate. Go to https://bit.ly/momscar to check Allstate first and see how much you could save on car insurance.
Follow Mom's Car on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Mom's Car ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/plus now.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript 10,045 words · 3 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Dax Shepard? Hello and welcome to Mom's Car. Today we have the Duchess of Duluth, Monica Lilly Padman. She joins Aaron and I today to really educate us on all the fun-to-eat places in Los Feliz that we're not stopping at. Uh, please enjoy, Monica "Miniature Mouse" Duchess of Duluth Padman. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check your phones in your pocket before leaving the house. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North America Insurance Co. and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
1:00 Dax Shepard? You know what's funny is I always donate my clothes to Salvation Army. But then I buy them.
1:06 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:07 Dax Shepard? Then I buy someone else's. And I love the thought that someone's gonna like my t-shirt that I don't like anymore.
1:13 Speaker 01 They will. Sustainability.
1:15 Dax Shepard? Right. Then I get someone else's.
1:17 Speaker 01 Do you get a credit there?
1:19 Dax Shepard? Picture of a beach or something. I'm like, oh, I like this. No.
1:23 Speaker 01 One person's trash is another person's treasure. They say that.
1:26 Dax Shepard? That's one of the famous things. I have a weird experience where it's like, I'll give away a bunch of stuff and it's nice stuff. Yeah.
1:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:34 Dax Shepard? I've given Jordans to the Goodwill. Sure. And then I have this weird desire that I hope they know that it was expensive. Or a $350 sweater. It's important to me that they know they got something that's normally $350 for $2.
1:51 Speaker 01 It's not very Buddhist.
1:52 Dax Shepard? It's not very Buddhist. And why does it matter? But can you relate to that? I do, yeah. You go like, oh, I'm giving this $1,800 purse to Goodwill. I sure hope they know what they got. Yeah, right.
2:02 Speaker 01 Or it's kind of fun for someone who has no idea and really just likes the way it looks. And lucky. Them, they got a $28,000 purse.
2:12 Dax Shepard? And maybe that's the best case. They don't even know what they have. And then they're walking around with a Birka bag.
2:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:16 Dax Shepard? And people are like, oh, my God, I love your bag.
2:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:19 Dax Shepard? Where did you get it? Those are hard to get.
2:21 Speaker 02 That would be cool.
2:22 Speaker 01 Where's our first stop?
2:24 Dax Shepard? Well, we just kind of drive around, Monty, and then it'll sell us.
2:27 Speaker 02 Look, it's lunchtime.
2:29 Speaker 01 Oh, it's a good time for this.
2:31 Dax Shepard? Prime time.
2:32 Speaker 02 Prime time.
2:32 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, we're just gonna ride until we get a dingles?
2:35 Dax Shepard? Yeah, and sometimes we just kind of post up at Sunset Junction and wait. I've told you a lot about this. This has broken a lot of my assumptions.
2:43 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
2:44 Dax Shepard? My first assumption was like, oh, food delivery is pretty pricey.
2:47 Speaker 01 This is a cute restaurant I like to go to sometimes.
2:50 Dax Shepard? La Poudie?
2:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:51 Dax Shepard? What's it called?
2:52 Speaker 01 Le Pire. It's French, and on the inside, you feel like it's Christmas time in Europe.
2:58 Dax Shepard? Oh, and the food's delicious?
2:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's good.
3:00 Dax Shepard? Do they have a French onion soup?
3:02 Speaker 01 Oh, I don't think so.
3:04 Dax Shepard? Do they have French fries?
3:04 Speaker 01 I don't think they have any of those things.
3:06 Dax Shepard? Their French dressing?
3:07 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, no.
3:08 Dax Shepard? What if everyone in there was French kissing? Who of you are invited to French kiss your waiter?
3:14 Speaker 01 Oh, this is kind of fun because I kind of feel like while we're waiting, I can just tell you all the places I like.
3:19 Dax Shepard? I already anticipated this.
3:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:21 Dax Shepard? Sincerely. But what's counterintuitive is like, OK, yeah, people without a lot of money are using delivery service. I thought I was gonna be delivering to a bunch of rich people. Not the case. Secondly, I would think, oh, I'll go hang out where all the restaurants I eat at. Most of the times we get a dingle, it's a weird duck restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard.
3:40 Speaker 01 Wow. What's the most tempted you've been to eat one of the items?
3:45 Dax Shepard? We picked up Lucifer's once.
3:46 Speaker 01 Oh.
3:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, that smells real good. I can tell you the most untempted I was. Actually, they were both with Joy.
3:53 Dax Shepard? Well, Jackie, too.
3:54 Speaker 02 Was it Jackie?
3:55 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
3:56 Speaker 02 There was one that smelled like a pile of garbage. Oh, yeah, that was with Jackie.
3:59 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah.
4:00 Speaker 02 It was assholes inside of a bag, like leaking assholes.
4:05 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
4:06 Speaker 02 And then...
4:07 Dax Shepard? Someone got the asshole sampler.
4:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
4:11 Speaker 02 Then someone else fucking ordered a bunch of whole ducks. I was like, oh, I couldn't stop thinking about that duck in that bag.
4:18 Speaker 01 Was it cooked or raw?
4:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
4:20 Speaker 01 Okay, okay.
4:21 Dax Shepard? But we're confused because they don't sell duck wings. Like, they sell chicken wings.
4:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:27 Dax Shepard? But they take the wings off, but they give you the feet.
4:29 Speaker 02 There's no trace of the wing anywhere.
4:31 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh.
4:32 Dax Shepard? Oh, they get it out of it. It might be like bad luck or something.
4:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, it probably is bad luck.
4:36 Dax Shepard? Okay, so we're gonna do a moral dumbfounding question, which we like to do.
4:41 Speaker 01 I'm excited.
4:42 Dax Shepard? And then a listener question.
4:43 Speaker 01 Okay.
4:44 Dax Shepard? Let's do a listener question.
4:45 Speaker 02 Guess what else? You would think that we'd be busy because it's lunchtime. Oh, we're not.
4:50 Dax Shepard? It's the slowest time of day lunch.
4:51 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh.
4:52 Speaker 02 It's the only second slowest at dinner.
4:57 Dax Shepard? They're trying to figure out what is the sweet spot.
4:59 Speaker 01 That's interesting because I do think here in L.A., people don't have regular jobs. So their eating is off. They might eat lunch at 4:00.
5:09 Dax Shepard? They had breakfast at 11:30.
5:11 Speaker 01 Yes.
5:12 Dax Shepard? Dinner at 9:00.
5:13 Speaker 02 There's no real lunch hours here.
5:14 Dax Shepard? What's the hardest time to make a reservation, though, at one of your restaurants?
5:18 Speaker 01 Ooh, that's a good question.
5:20 Dax Shepard? 7?
5:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, probably 7:00. I like to get a 5:00 P.M. I like to be in and out by 7:00.
5:26 Dax Shepard? Really?
5:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, I like an early bird.
5:28 Speaker 02 We do that, too.
5:29 Speaker 01 It's better that way.
5:30 Dax Shepard? What are the advantages? It just takes less time to get your food?
5:33 Speaker 01 No, you can just go to bed early.
5:35 Dax Shepard? Oh, oh, right, right, right.
5:36 Speaker 01 You can get in your bed, watch The Pit or E.R.
5:39 Dax Shepard? Or both.
5:40 Speaker 01 Oh, I love this store.
5:41 Speaker 02 Pit?
5:42 Dax Shepard? The Pit on Max?
5:43 Speaker 01 Medical drama.
5:45 Speaker 02 Oh, no, no, no, with.
5:46 Speaker 01 No, Wiley, he's so hot.
5:48 Dax Shepard? Oh, my God, he's very horny.
5:49 Speaker 01 He's so hot.
5:51 Speaker 02 He went from cute to hot.
5:53 Speaker 01 Oh, what if we run into him on our drive?
5:55 Speaker 02 I hope so. I hope we're delivering a big duck to him.
5:58 Dax Shepard? Big armless duck.
5:59 Speaker 02 I would only eat duck with him.
6:02 Speaker 01 He probably knows about the wings, because he knows about anatomy.
6:05 Speaker 02 He probably grows wings in a garden. Okay, we're gonna hang for a minute?
6:09 Dax Shepard? Yeah, hang for a minute.
6:09 Speaker 02 All right, Monica, you're gonna love this one. This is from a listener. "To move or not to move? Hey, vulner boys. I'm a 39-year-old vulner boy, living in the South, and I'm very inspired by both of y'alls willingness to show your emotions. I'm writing because I've been considering making a move to a bigger city where women would be more attracted to my sensibility.
6:32 Speaker 01 Oh.
6:33 Speaker 02 It's a hard decision to make, because I've planted roots in my hometown, but I can't seem to find love here. I don't think it's anything physical. I'm 6'1", athletic. Not that I believe them, but many people have compared me to Ben Affleck."
6:51 Speaker 01 Is this a, what? Is this a meet cute?
6:57 Speaker 02 What? Hold on.
6:59 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
7:00 Speaker 02 "My last girlfriend would get uncomfortable when I would cry during movies."
7:05 Speaker 01 This is a joke.
7:06 Speaker 02 "Or when we would have a disagreement. I tried to rein it in, but I just can't. I'm wondering if you guys think it's time to try another city. I'm very drawn to LA because of the food and outdoor lifestyle. I'm a shameless sun worshiper, but New York is great, too. It's my favorite city to visit. I'd probably live there, but I tend to get nauseous from all the commotion and tend to vomit a lot while I'm there."
7:38 Speaker 01 Oh, oh.
7:40 Speaker 02 And I can't imagine there's anyone out there looking to care for someone who is always throwing up and crying. Please help.
7:48 Speaker 01 You wrote this, Dex. You wrote this. You did this.
7:58 Speaker 01 Oh, I'm embarrassed, because I believed it until the very end.
8:03 Speaker 02 Good, that was my goal. I said a couple things where I'm like, "That's too much." The Ben Affleck thing, I'm like, "I might tip it on Ben Affleck." But the fact that he said, "Not that I believe them."
8:17 Dax Shepard? Is your basement flooded for this guy?
8:19 Speaker 01 I'm actually so sad that this person isn't real. Oh my god.
8:24 Dax Shepard? I was like, I want to write a fake question for Monica. And I couldn't think, there's a lot of different ways to go.
8:30 Speaker 01 Moved cities into my pants.
8:32 Dax Shepard? He gets nauseous. All the commotion.
8:38 Speaker 01 I vomit a lot.
8:39 Dax Shepard? I doubt anyone wants to care for me. I was like.
8:42 Speaker 02 New York is not a city for him.
8:44 Speaker 01 Oh, I'm so sad.
8:48 Dax Shepard? But you know what's funny? As I was writing it, I also had this thought. This could offend you, but I was like, even if this was real.
8:55 Speaker 01 Go ahead, yeah.
8:56 Dax Shepard? Yeah. Even if this was 100% real.
8:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:00 Dax Shepard? I was like, I don't know that Monica would jump at this.
9:02 Speaker 01 But I was.
9:03 Dax Shepard? You were jumping.
9:04 Speaker 01 I was. I was like, oh my god, this could be such a fun.
9:08 Dax Shepard? Crazy twist.
9:09 Speaker 01 Full circle, big twist. I need my husband to your show.
9:14 Dax Shepard? Delivering food.
9:15 Speaker 01 Special. Really, you're just tricking me. I might need a frame then.
9:19 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
9:20 Speaker 01 I can't imagine there's anyone out there looking. Looking to care for someone who's always throwing up and crying.
9:36 Dax Shepard? But try to imagine your heart is that it's dead real. Are you actually gonna like, send him an email?
9:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think we would here devise a plan.
9:47 Dax Shepard? And we'd be up for it.
9:48 Speaker 01 Yeah. Six one.
9:51 Dax Shepard? Ben Affleck.
9:52 Speaker 01 Six one athletic Ben Affleck?
9:54 Dax Shepard? I was toying with the idea of saying when I said that I've put down roots here. I was gonna say, I have a pretty successful pottery shop. He would fill in the blanks and think he makes really cool coffee cup mugs.
10:06 Speaker 01 Oh, like trinkets that I love.
10:08 Dax Shepard? Yeah, like mugs and.
10:09 Speaker 01 Oh my god. Okay, so this was a good test. This is like you creating my perfect man.
10:17 Dax Shepard? Mm-hmm. Everything you think you want, and here it is, will you pursue it?
10:21 Speaker 01 I mean, I didn't love the part that he couldn't rein it in. When he was crying a lot. I do want him to be able to rein it in a little bit. That was a little bit of a red flag.
10:33 Dax Shepard? You could build on that.
10:34 Speaker 01 I can't believe I didn't get it when you read, "I'm a shameless sun worshiper."
10:38 Dax Shepard? I got so nervous because I was looking for you outside and I said, "Were you sun worshiping?" I was like, "Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that. I just wrote that. That's gonna tip it."
10:47 Speaker 01 Did you write it just now?
10:49 Dax Shepard? On the toilet before we left.
10:53 Dax Shepard? I thought of it last night and then we got home so late, I didn't do it. Then, as you know, I took a nap before work.
10:58 Speaker 01 I feel sad with myself because you're right. He sounded great, but when he threw up in New York, I was out.
11:05 Dax Shepard? Because you love New York so much.
11:07 Speaker 01 He can't, I mean, that's embarrassing.
11:09 Dax Shepard? But he loves it still.
11:11 Speaker 01 But he's throwing up everywhere.
11:12 Dax Shepard? He just needs you to care for him a little bit.
11:14 Speaker 01 I think you're confused about my desire.
11:16 Speaker 02 To care?
11:17 Speaker 01 To care. To care about anybody. That's not what it is.
11:21 Dax Shepard? That's your own proclaimed.
11:23 Speaker 01 No, no, no. They have to be sick.
11:26 Dax Shepard? Yeah, he's very sick from all the commotion.
11:28 Speaker 01 He's a baby.
11:29 Dax Shepard? He's psychosomatic. He's weak.
11:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a weakness.
11:32 Dax Shepard? That's the problem with vulnerable. Where is the line?
11:35 Speaker 01 I know.
11:35 Dax Shepard? Like, you're free to cry and vomit if you have a...
11:39 Speaker 01 Sickness.
11:40 Dax Shepard? Flu.
11:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, I love that.
11:42 Dax Shepard? But if the commotion sometimes makes you...
11:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, don't mention anything.
11:46 Dax Shepard? No, get through it. Shove your feelings right down.
11:49 Speaker 01 No, he can talk to me about it. We can discuss it. But just don't throw up on the street.
11:56 Dax Shepard? It's not in the street. It's just, he's like, "Oh, I think I need to stop back at the hotel."
12:01 Speaker 01 I can't stop. I'm on a mission there.
12:05 Dax Shepard? If I would have said, "I love shopping," would that have been too much? I love shopping for luxury goods. People are always mad at me because I spend so much on luxury goods, but I can afford it and I don't have kids.
12:18 Speaker 01 But I want them.
12:20 Dax Shepard? But I am toying with Buddhism, so I might say goodbye to all this. But probably not.
12:26 Speaker 01 I mean, in real life, who do you think is my perfect partner? If you really had to create him? Who you really think would be a good partner for me? Not who I would want.
12:38 Dax Shepard? Oh, man.
12:38 Speaker 02 Like a famous person?
12:40 Speaker 01 It could be that, or just creating the characteristics.
12:43 Dax Shepard? That's really hard. I always just go to whoever I love. Guy would go, "Oh, you and Nate would have so much fun married. You and Aaron would have so much fun married."
12:53 Speaker 01 Yep.
12:53 Dax Shepard? I just end up thinking whoever I'm in love with. Would be a great match for you.
12:58 Speaker 02 Yep, that'll work.
13:00 Speaker 01 That'll do.
13:01 Dax Shepard? But it is weird. If I had to pick, oh, except.
13:04 Speaker 02 Yes, $3.
13:05 Dax Shepard? $3.
13:06 Speaker 01 $3?
13:07 Dax Shepard? Don't worry about it.
13:08 Speaker 01 What?
13:09 Speaker 02 I'm only gonna go downhill from here.
13:10 Speaker 01 No.
13:11 Dax Shepard? Yeah, we're going to Barbecue and Rice. You ever been here?
13:13 Speaker 01 No, I haven't. Not yet.
13:15 Dax Shepard? Maybe this'll tempt your palate. This could lead to a list of to-dos for you, honey.
13:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:21 Dax Shepard? My problem is I get stuck in ruts. Like, I know what I like, and it's hard to go somewhere new when I know I could be going and getting something I love.
13:31 Speaker 01 We're different that way.
13:32 Dax Shepard? This is your hobby.
13:33 Speaker 01 It is. It's something I enjoy. Finding new places and new things. You do? You're a creature of habit?
13:42 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
13:43 Speaker 01 Well, it's kind of counterintuitive, because in life, I'm safer. I'm a creature of habit. I like safety and things I know.
13:51 Dax Shepard? You watch the same thing, because you know how it ends. You like knowing how things are gonna go down.
13:55 Speaker 01 Right, but in exploration of cities or food. Yeah, that's where I get kinky.
14:02 Dax Shepard? Yeah, that's your kink.
14:03 Speaker 01 I'm kinky at eating tasty food. I'm so kinky.
14:07 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I gotta find a guy that loves kinky.
14:10 Speaker 01 I am kinky, because I was down for all the vomit for a second. Only for a second.
14:15 Dax Shepard? Vomit, crying.
14:15 Speaker 01 Only if he's sick.
14:17 Dax Shepard? Some crying. Controlled crying.
14:19 Speaker 01 Crying if it's...
14:20 Speaker 02 Except for once, he couldn't reel it in.
14:23 Dax Shepard? That's too many times.
14:25 Speaker 02 Once is enough.
14:28 Dax Shepard? I do think it's really tricky. I think we're telling boys have the full range of emotions that women have, but I don't know women have caught up to that.
14:36 Speaker 01 But can I tell you something? If my girlfriend was also so overwhelmed by New York that she threw up everywhere, I can't go to New York with her.
14:44 Dax Shepard? True.
14:44 Speaker 01 That's just a person thing, right up there.
14:47 Dax Shepard? Oh, on the corner. Oh, world famous barbecue rice bowl. Yes!
14:51 Speaker 01 So what happens now?
14:53 Speaker 02 You guys hold tight.
14:54 Dax Shepard? Yeah, Aaron runs in.
14:57 Dax Shepard? Grabs the rice. I don't think it'll be far, because it was only three bucks.
15:01 Speaker 01 Oh my gosh, this man is eating it?
15:03 Dax Shepard? Yes.
15:04 Speaker 01 And he's wearing a Muay Thai shirt. Oh, I shouldn't be pointing.
15:07 Dax Shepard? He and Matt might know each other from Muay Thai.
15:10 Speaker 01 I wanted to ask him if he likes his food.
15:13 Dax Shepard? I was gonna admit to you that when you're talking about your watch thing.
15:16 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm, the Cartier watch I wanted.
15:18 Dax Shepard? Right, that was too much money.
15:20 Speaker 01 Yes.
15:20 Dax Shepard? I was not judgmental, but also I didn't want you to buy a watch that expensive.
15:25 Speaker 01 Really?
15:25 Dax Shepard? Yeah, because I want you to save your money and invest it. You know, to be safe.
15:31 Speaker 01 That's funny. That might be because you, well, a few things. One, you feel paternal. But two, and I want to relieve you of this, I think since our job is together, the money, if it runs out, it's on you to make sure I still have some or something? Is that a part of it, maybe?
15:49 Dax Shepard? Yeah, maybe.
15:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, but it's not, just so you know.
15:52 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's none of my business. All to say, I had had the same exact moment the day before. I just recently was like, I gotta sell, and I'm going to, I gotta sell some of these fucking vehicles.
16:06 Speaker 01 You are?
16:07 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I gotta get rid of some of these motorcycles. I don't know what car I'm gonna get rid of, but I have too much crap. I gotta get rid of it.
16:12 Speaker 01 Buddhism.
16:13 Dax Shepard? Yeah. And then I met my dad, Tom Hanson, for dinner at Katsuya.
16:19 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
16:20 Dax Shepard? And he was in a brand new... AMG GT. This so sexy two-seater sports car. Isn't that silver, that Mercedes silver? That's from the Goldwing that you love? It's so sexy.
16:31 Speaker 01 Oh, wow.
16:32 Dax Shepard? And at first I was like, mm, who cares? I'm not that interested. And then he was getting it in and I said, "Do you like it?" And he goes, "Yeah, yeah, it's good." I go, "Is it fast?" He goes, "Yeah, yeah, it's fast." I said, "It's not as fast as the wagon, right? That AMG wagon that we both had." And he goes, "Oh, it's way faster." I'm like, "No, the wagon's supposed to be the fastest." And he goes, "No, this thing has a nine-speed and 600 and some horsepower."
16:55 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
16:56 Dax Shepard? And I was like, "Oh, fuck."
16:57 Speaker 01 See?
16:58 Dax Shepard? Hearing those numbers.
17:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, you wanted it.
17:02 Dax Shepard? Like your watch. All of a sudden I was like, "I gotta have this car." If I can have this car, why wouldn't I have this car?
17:09 Speaker 01 I know.
17:10 Dax Shepard? It took over all my thinking. And I was like, "You cannot buy another car. I don't care if you have a billion dollars. You're not allowed to." Because all you do is worry about it and don't use it.
17:20 Speaker 01 Right.
17:21 Dax Shepard? The watch, you're gonna wear it sometime.
17:24 Speaker 01 I know. Well, actually, the watch was an interesting thing because when I was talking to Anna and Jess about it, Anna said I could buy it.
17:32 Dax Shepard? Okay.
17:32 Speaker 01 So I was like, "I'm gonna buy it because Anna said I could."
17:35 Dax Shepard? Yes, and she's reasonable.
17:37 Speaker 01 Yes, but then she said, "But what you can't do is go on your walks wearing it."
17:42 Dax Shepard? Oh.
17:42 Speaker 01 And I was like, "Fuck, that's true."
17:46 Dax Shepard? Monica, I do better at this normally. I don't know why. I'm so engaged in your stories.
17:51 Speaker 01 I tell good stories.
17:52 Dax Shepard? You do. You're one of the great storytellers. That's actually true. On paper, your stories are boring.
17:57 Speaker 01 Hey!
17:58 Dax Shepard? And they're riveting. No, I'm telling you. They're absolutely riveting. But on paper, if it was a pitch to a studio and you're like, "Here's the situation. This woman cannot stand these people that hang out on the sidewalk when she's walking." They would go, "No, there's no story there." But there is a story. You just haven't heard Monica tell it.
18:18 Speaker 01 That's true. So she said, "You can't go on your walks with it." And I was like, "That's right, I can't." I would feel so scared on my walks wearing a $30,000 watch.
18:32 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
18:32 Speaker 01 But then, I will never wear it. The point is that I would wear it as a daily watch, but that includes my wogs.
18:40 Dax Shepard? Yep.
18:41 Speaker 01 Aaron, I almost bought a 30,000.
18:42 Speaker 02 I'm getting, yeah.
18:45 Speaker 01 I didn't. I didn't buy it and I'm not going to. I've decided definitively I'm not going to. But Dex, you own some expensive watches.
18:53 Dax Shepard? I have one expensive watch.
18:55 Speaker 01 And that's kind of how I feel. I could have one expensive.
18:58 Dax Shepard? Yeah, but you're not gonna like this, but I personally don't really have a ton of faith that that Cartier watch is gonna accrue value. I don't think there's a good enough history of Cartier's doing that. My one really expensive watch is one of very few that has just gone up every year for 25 years.
19:20 Speaker 01 Right.
19:20 Dax Shepard? So that one, I really did feel confident that, oh, I'm just getting this and in a pinch, I can definitely sell it and probably make.
19:27 Speaker 01 But these are lies we tell ourselves.
19:29 Dax Shepard? You're right. I'm never gonna sell it. My kids are gonna probably find it in a box of shit when I die and they'll have no idea what it's costing. Someone at Goodwill will buy it for $13. And I'll be beyond the grave going, I hope they know they have a fucking Rolex.
19:44 Speaker 02 Do they know what they have?
19:46 Dax Shepard? That's a panda.
19:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly.
19:51 Dax Shepard? No, none of it means anything. You can like learn it, but you can't internalize it because I had the experience of going to my dad's house after he was dead. And just you look around, you're like, none of this has any value anymore because there's no one here to care about it.
20:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, with the fires, we had to think about all of that a lot. What has real value? What's meaningful? What are we packing? I'm packing a note that Delta wrote me when I had my seizure.
20:18 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
20:19 Speaker 01 Like, that's what matters.
20:20 Dax Shepard? Yeah. Aaron, did you have to clean out anything of your dad's when he died?
20:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:25 Speaker 01 Did you take anything?
20:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:28 Speaker 01 All his money?
20:29 Speaker 02 All that money. He had some things from Vietnam, you know, like his dog tags.
20:35 Speaker 01 Uh huh, that's cool.
20:36 Speaker 02 Military ID that was fascinating to me.
20:40 Speaker 01 We've arrived. And by the way, Dax, can I say we're at someplace cute?
20:44 Dax Shepard? We are. And is it leave that door? It is. So I'm not even gonna get to meet Kai, which I would love to, because what a cool name. Maybe I'll knock on the door. Maybe we should just risk getting fired.
20:55 Speaker 01 Oh, could you get fired that way?
20:57 Dax Shepard? Yeah, they could complain, right?
20:59 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
21:00 Speaker 02 I wonder what you'd have to do to get fired.
21:03 Dax Shepard? Think there's another delivery person?
21:05 Speaker 01 Oh, you know what? I'm guilty of that. Having two deliveries at once from different places.
21:10 Dax Shepard? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then there's a third delivery person behind us.
21:15 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, is it really going to the same place?
21:22 Dax Shepard? Oh, let's see. This is very...
21:24 Speaker 02 You should ask him, how many deliveries have you had?
21:26 Dax Shepard? What if the door finally opened and then just weed smoked a little out of there? Because the person had the munchy. This is a delivery person as well?
21:36 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
21:38 Dax Shepard? Please go to the same house. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay, well, we go three for three? He's taking a picture just like I did.
21:46 Speaker 01 Good, you did. Good job.
21:49 Dax Shepard? I gotta know what this gal's doing.
21:51 Speaker 02 Get out of there. What if her ride?
21:57 Dax Shepard? She's gonna take all that food to a second location. Back to the restaurant. Where she bought it from.
22:07 Speaker 01 Wow, that would be exciting.
22:08 Dax Shepard? That would be an elaborate system is you hate waiting for food, but you love eating at the restaurant. So you get a Postmates to your house, then you Uber to the restaurant.
22:16 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, he's got a big ol'...
22:18 Dax Shepard? Groceries!
22:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, grocery delivery.
22:20 Dax Shepard? That's probably the dessert, ice cream and stuff.
22:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, big tub of ice cream.
22:26 Dax Shepard? Oh, so you have your dad's dog tags. That's cool.
22:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, I can't think of really anything else besides that.
22:31 Dax Shepard? The only thing I took is all my dad's AA coins.
22:34 Speaker 02 Right. Oh, yeah, and you gave me one, which I have, by the way.
22:38 Speaker 01 That's really sweet.
22:39 Dax Shepard? Yeah, in fact, I owe you probably three more of them.
22:41 Speaker 01 Can I have one?
22:44 Dax Shepard? There's no five-day...
22:47 Dax Shepard? They don't make a coin for five days.
22:50 Speaker 01 I like this street a lot, so I go to this place, L and E.
22:54 Dax Shepard? Oh.
22:55 Speaker 01 Right there.
22:56 Dax Shepard? What do they specialize in?
22:57 Speaker 01 Oysters, seafood. It's very cute. They have a happy hour upstairs. Well, yeah, aphrodisia.
23:07 Speaker 02 I always say they get all horned up.
23:09 Speaker 01 I've never experienced that from oysters, by the way.
23:12 Dax Shepard? I'm such a perv. There's nothing fucking grosser than oysters to me. And I've stared at them on a menu for like 10 minutes thinking, it'd be worth it to feel really horny. Which is so weird because unless you can do something with the hornies, why do you want to feel? But I do want to feel horny, even if I don't have an outlet.
23:30 Speaker 01 That is weird.
23:32 Dax Shepard? I do. Do you like being horny?
23:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, I like being horny.
23:35 Speaker 01 You do? Even if you can't?
23:38 Speaker 01 I mean, I guess you can always masturbate.
23:40 Dax Shepard? I don't get horny to masturbate.
23:42 Speaker 01 Oh.
23:42 Speaker 02 I do.
23:43 Dax Shepard? Oh, that's awesome.
23:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:44 Speaker 02 Don't you, when you go to a hotel or anything?
23:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:47 Dax Shepard? Yeah, you're right. I do. As soon as I walk in the door, actually.
23:51 Speaker 02 You're naked?
23:52 Dax Shepard? Yeah. As I've said before.
23:54 Speaker 02 Close the door, let's get some deep.
23:55 Dax Shepard? I eventize it. I get bare naked. I use lotion, which I never, ever use. And I make a warm towel for myself before I start that I put on the nightstand.
24:06 Speaker 02 Oh, man.
24:07 Dax Shepard? I do everything short of putting music on.
24:09 Speaker 02 Sure.
24:10 Speaker 01 And light candles.
24:12 Dax Shepard? Or a big bath for myself.
24:15 Speaker 01 Have either of your wives walked in on you masturbating?
24:18 Dax Shepard? Oh, wow.
24:19 Speaker 01 Or girlfriends, I guess.
24:20 Speaker 02 Yes.
24:20 Dax Shepard? That's a great topic, Monica.
24:22 Speaker 02 Girlfriends have?
24:23 Speaker 01 And did it go poorly?
24:26 Speaker 02 No.
24:27 Speaker 01 Did they join in?
24:28 Speaker 02 One time Ruthie was like, well, she was like real busy. You could tell. And I was like, not busy.
24:36 Dax Shepard? Well, you're getting busy.
24:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:39 Speaker 02 I was busy in a different way. She's like on a meeting and I went.
24:43 Dax Shepard? Making money.
24:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, making money.
24:45 Dax Shepard? For the family.
24:46 Speaker 02 I was jacking at noon.
24:50 Dax Shepard? During the workday.
24:54 Dax Shepard? Primetime business hours.
24:56 Speaker 02 Folks people are getting paid. She was like, alright.
25:02 Dax Shepard? Yeah, this is really weird, cuz I'm obviously so open. And I, of course, am not saying I don't jerk off. But I am embarrassed to be caught jerking off.
25:12 Speaker 01 Right. I could see that.
25:14 Dax Shepard? Are you embarrassed, or no? You love it.
25:16 Speaker 02 A little bit. No, I don't love it. No.
25:20 Dax Shepard? Look at this juicy.
25:20 Speaker 02 I'm somewhere in between. You know, I always think how sexy I am when I'm jerking off. I know we've discussed that, so like...
25:28 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
25:30 Speaker 02 So I guess I kinda wanna get caught, but...
25:32 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
25:33 Speaker 02 But it depends where I'm at in it. If I'm just starting...
25:36 Dax Shepard? I wanna get caught by someone that doesn't know me.
25:39 Speaker 02 Sure.
25:39 Dax Shepard? That's attractive.
25:40 Speaker 02 Of course.
25:40 Dax Shepard? Cuz I think in that moment, yeah, that I would look sexy too.
25:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:43 Dax Shepard? Of course, it would just be terrifying.
25:45 Speaker 02 Sure.
25:45 Dax Shepard? But I don't really want someone that knows me to walk in.
25:48 Speaker 02 Right.
25:49 Dax Shepard? Like, what are you doing in here, you creep?
25:50 Speaker 01 Yeah. Oh my god, ding ding ding, this is where I get waxed.
25:55 Dax Shepard? Oh, you wanna pop in?
25:57 Speaker 01 I do need to pop in.
25:59 Dax Shepard? You could hit two birds with one stone. We'll just bring all the equipment in.
26:03 Speaker 01 Isn't it cute? It's a store up front.
26:04 Dax Shepard? Wow, that's quite a job. Just one pussy after another you're seeing.
26:09 Speaker 01 I know. Oh, god.
26:11 Dax Shepard? There's no male waxers, right?
26:13 Speaker 01 I've never seen one.
26:15 Dax Shepard? Would you allow a gay waxer male?
26:17 Speaker 01 A gay man?
26:18 Dax Shepard? A gay man.
26:19 Speaker 01 No.
26:19 Dax Shepard? A gayman?
26:20 Speaker 01 Mm-mm.
26:20 Dax Shepard? No, cuz he could just be acting gay.
26:23 Speaker 01 It's not even about the sexuality.
26:26 Dax Shepard? Like, if we work together?
26:27 Speaker 01 I mean, it is of course.
26:29 Dax Shepard? We put on a whole thing.
26:30 Speaker 02 I hate to say that everything is about the sexuality when I'm...
26:33 Dax Shepard? Where anywhere?
26:36 Speaker 01 Well, no, because if it was a gay woman, I wouldn't care. It's something about a man near my vagina that I don't want unless I've decided I want.
26:49 Dax Shepard? But it is interesting, cuz, yeah, it's so weird. I would, of course, rather have a girl wax me than a man.
26:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, I would never have a man wax me.
26:56 Dax Shepard? Yeah. Like, the notion of pulling my pants down in front of a strange man, and then him applying wax all to my mom's pubis. I'd way rather have a woman.
27:07 Speaker 01 But it's kind of for the same reason. It's because men might lose control at any moment and behave horribly. Pretty much just a woman to do her job.
27:19 Dax Shepard? Even if they kept it together, God knows what's going on.
27:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, after.
27:23 Dax Shepard? They're like click, click, click, click for later.
27:25 Speaker 01 I know, exactly, exactly.
27:26 Dax Shepard? Oh, yeah. Taking their time might take longer if a guy's waxing you.
27:32 Speaker 01 And he's really getting in there.
27:33 Dax Shepard? Yeah, he really is taking his time. Under the guise of being thorough.
27:36 Speaker 01 Also, taking the time is the last thing you want. You want that done so fast.
27:42 Dax Shepard? You want to keep walking, basically. Take your pants off and never stop moving.
27:46 Speaker 01 It's awful. I'm considering getting laser, but I'm also scared of that because it's so permanent.
27:53 Dax Shepard? It's so permanent. And then, yeah, what if this guy from the South likes grass on the field before he plays ball?
28:00 Speaker 02 People from the South tend to.
28:02 Dax Shepard? They're notorious for it.
28:05 Speaker 01 But they don't really care, right? Don't most guys just kind of take what they can get?
28:10 Dax Shepard? I like both.
28:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:11 Dax Shepard? Both are very exciting.
28:13 Speaker 02 I know.
28:13 Dax Shepard? I think for our generation, it's specific, though, because I grew up looking at Playboy. That's the first time I saw women naked.
28:20 Speaker 01 Right.
28:20 Dax Shepard? And they all had hair, bouge. It represented like womanliness. That's a mature, fertile woman right there.
28:30 Speaker 01 Not a baby.
28:31 Dax Shepard? Yeah. And so I very much have that seared into my head. I don't know what Gen Z's relationship with it is.
28:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, good question.
28:40 Dax Shepard? I can tell you my children think pubic hair is disgusting. And it is.
28:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, objectively, is pretty gross.
28:48 Dax Shepard? But I like it, dude.
28:50 Speaker 02 I miss you.
28:50 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
28:51 Speaker 02 I remember when we were 20-ish, girls started shaving and that was kind of a newer thing. Because I do remember you.
28:59 Dax Shepard? But it started with just a strip.
29:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, a strip.
29:02 Speaker 01 A blending strip, classic one.
29:04 Speaker 02 And I know that was exciting for people.
29:06 Dax Shepard? Because it was new.
29:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:08 Dax Shepard? And I remember at one point I commented on a certain girlfriend's. I was like, oh no, there is no shaving going on. And you're like, oh, really? Don't you want that? And I'm like, oh, no, I love it. I love them.
29:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, you like it wild?
29:23 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, I guess it's wild.
29:27 Dax Shepard? It's kind of wild.
29:28 Speaker 01 There's something primitive about it.
29:30 Dax Shepard? There is. That's a great way to say it.
29:32 Speaker 02 Is it making a comeback?
29:33 Dax Shepard? It is, it seems. But you see that on like, I'll see movies and girls are having some bush. And they're younger and I think, oh, cool, it's coming back.
29:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think there is sort of this train of thinking that's like, if you are removing all your hair, why are you trying to be like a doll or a baby? That's weird and probably not what you want. So some people think that.
29:54 Dax Shepard? Well, there's a tactile appeal to it when it's completely bare.
29:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, I like it bare.
30:00 Dax Shepard? That's like the cheeks, someone's cheeks.
30:04 Dax Shepard? Not a baby's, but an adult woman's cheeks.
30:06 Speaker 01 We gotta be careful to say not a baby's cheeks.
30:09 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
30:09 Speaker 01 If you walked in on your girlfriend masturbating, would you be upset? Like, you were in the house.
30:16 Dax Shepard? Oh, like, why didn't you let me?
30:17 Speaker 01 Exactly. Why didn't you just decide to have sex with me?
30:20 Dax Shepard? I would just be so happy they're horny. That's kind of all that I think is cool. Like, oh, good, you're horny. You'll want all kinds of things.
30:30 Speaker 01 Sure.
30:33 Dax Shepard? Stay tuned for more Mom's Car. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. You know, it reminds me of all those times when checking first really pays off. Like that time I didn't check the weather before planning a backyard barbecue. Rookie mistake. Or how about when you're about to head out on a road trip and you know to check your tire pressure first? It's those little check-first moments that save us from bigger headaches later. I mean, think about it. You always check if you have your wallet before sitting down at a restaurant, right? Or make sure you've got your keys before closing the front door? These are just smart moves we all make. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
31:18 Dax Shepard? Terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Co. and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmigiana delivered. A day at the lake? That's a no. A Philly cheesesteak? That's a yes. An afternoon stroll? Sorry, no. A burrito bowl? Happily yes. What about a day of sunshine? Not happening. A box of fine chocolates? Yes, that's happening. Delivery on its way. Okay, how about some clear skies? Nope. Well, then how about some french fries? Yep. A little escape? No. A delicious bowl of grapes? Yes, yes, that. How about a freshly cut lawn? Can't help you there.
32:02 Dax Shepard? But barbecued prawns? Order it and it's on its way. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.
32:17 Dax Shepard? Okay, we're gonna take a real question now. I promise I didn't write this one. But I did go through them and think what ones would Monica and I debate about.
32:22 Speaker 02 My husband started TRT a few years ago because of low testosterone. This led him into the world of bodybuilding, podcasts, et cetera. He started-
32:33 Speaker 01 You wrote this one too?
32:34 Speaker 02 No, no, no. He started bodybuilding and has been at it for about three years. I hate it. I love that he has a thing he does that makes him happy, but I can't get past the connotations and the vanity of it all. I know it's completely my issue, but it's weird going from a man who didn't give a shit about this world to a pre-workout-loving, meat and rice-eating, stringer-wearing bro. For context, we are 41 and we've been married 12 years. Have two boys, seven and nine. I do a lot of running and sometimes triathlon, so this is not against working out. It's specifically bodybuilding and how involved it is,
33:19 Speaker 02 and I cannot let it go and be cool. And that was from Kate Merrihue.
33:25 Speaker 01 Kristen Bell.
33:28 Dax Shepard? I K A Kristen Bell.
33:32 Speaker 01 She changed a couple of details, but I hear her in that. Gosh, this is tricky. I mean, I get it. I think what she's feeling is how I would feel, which is I don't even know you anymore. That's what's underneath it, is I thought I knew you. You didn't care when we got together. You were this person, and now you're changing. That's scary in a relationship.
33:55 Dax Shepard? I agree. That is kind of inherently scary, because who are you? But then the real personal thing is, and does this different person still like me?
34:04 Speaker 01 And do I like this new person?
34:07 Dax Shepard? Yeah, so there's probably like two different things. Is she repulsed by muscles? That's an issue. And is no longer physically attracted to him? That's one issue. Let's just pretend that's not the issue for a second. So this new person has this new pursuit, and I didn't even know they had it in them. And then what else is next? You're unpredictable now.
34:24 Speaker 01 Exactly.
34:25 Dax Shepard? And it's kind of scary. The things I think are perhaps not fair are the pieces she uses to build the argument instead of like what the very vulnerable thing is that's going on. It's like, I don't really buy vanity as a thing. Everyone's vain. It's like, what version of vain are you? I don't know if I buy the vanity part. I think that's an easy thing to... It's like a moral sin to be vain.
34:51 Speaker 01 Right.
34:51 Dax Shepard? But it's also bullshit. We're all vain. We're all looking in the mirror. We all care how we look. We care how we dress. Anyone that does triathlons, they get it. They're into challenge.
35:01 Speaker 01 I know, is that?
35:01 Dax Shepard? Yeah, so like, I want this challenge. I want to rise to this thing. I've set for myself this goal. So that should be relatable. I don't see any difference between bodybuilding and doing triathlons.
35:11 Speaker 01 I do, because there is a kind of culture around it. It can be, not always, but it can be kind of... Bro-y and douchey. And it kind of sounds like that's sort of what she's saying. Like, the podcast, he's like really immersed. Exactly. Like, he immersed himself in this culture, more than just he wants to be fit. But he wants to be one of these types of guys.
35:39 Dax Shepard? If I'm being dead honest and I was her, I'd be kind of embarrassed to be moving through the world with a bodybuilder as my partner.
35:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, me too.
35:47 Dax Shepard? Just truthfully, I don't think I would love how it reflected on me or what people would assume. Like, oh, she likes Jersey Shore meatheads? So that's something to contend with. Is it about you don't like how it makes you look? Which is very complicated. I'm not willing to say it doesn't matter.
36:02 Speaker 01 Back to the thing we were talking about earlier with my southern gentleman.
36:06 Dax Shepard? Yes.
36:06 Speaker 01 That it's really hard for men, for my soulmate. And that it's hard for men to walk this line, because we are asking now for men to be feminine and masculine and this and that and all the things, and that's really hard. There is something about caring so much about your body that it almost feels effeminate.
36:31 Dax Shepard? Oh, yeah. This is what Erin's original criticism of me being obsessed with my body at a young age. It's like, that's what girls do.
36:40 Speaker 01 Right, right. Like, girls are obsessed with looking a certain way.
36:44 Dax Shepard? Yeah, having a flat stomach. And it felt very feminine for Erin, right? A little bit, yeah. Yeah.
36:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's interesting.
36:50 Dax Shepard? To like be consumed with it. And I get it. I think in many ways Erin was way more attractive having a belly than me not having a belly, because I thought about it.
36:59 Speaker 01 Anytime anyone's just fully consumed, there's something a little unattractive about it. I don't know.
37:05 Dax Shepard? You'd have to actually know how it's affecting you. Is he unavailable because of this pursuit? Is he not present as a dad and as a husband? And so, there's a theoretical version where he has this whole thing, but it has no impact on her. He's squeezing in these trips to the gym on his lunch break at work or whatever he's doing, he gets up so early. If it's not affecting you... And you just really have a lot of judgment about it. I'm in an interesting place in this conversation because obviously I work out a lot.
37:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:37 Dax Shepard? And I take testosterone. I don't listen to bodybuilding podcasts.
37:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:40 Dax Shepard? I love bodybuilding documentaries. I would never want to look like a bodybuilder. And I guess for me, it's kind of like, why would you care if I'm pursuing this goal of this body? But I'm doing every single thing I've always done. It has had no actual impact on our relationship other than just you don't like the idea of it.
38:02 Speaker 02 She made it sound like he went from doing nothing, standing on his ass kind of thing. She seems to exercise and do her thing. She's probably wanted him to take part in something together with her. Instead of going for a walk with her, he fucking went this route. Spends maybe less time there.
38:23 Dax Shepard? If you're a jealous person as well, it'd be hard to not make the conclusion like, well, if you're putting all this time into your body, you're gonna want someone to appreciate it. I know we gotta ride.
38:32 Speaker 02 Where are we at? Where are we going?
38:33 Dax Shepard? Do you know this place?
38:34 Speaker 01 What's it called?
38:35 Speaker 02 Oh, it's 600 feet from here.
38:37 Speaker 01 Oh, this is amazing.
38:38 Dax Shepard? Boo, Vietnamese.
38:39 Speaker 02 Vietnamese. And Thai kitchen.
38:42 Dax Shepard? I just think in a situation like this, you have to spend almost way more time thinking about all the ways you're affected by it to really figure out really what is the core issue so that you can address it. You just can't go in and go like, I don't like that you go to the gym.
38:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I do think back to what I said at the beginning. I think it's more about identity. In her head, she's probably worried that he's taking on this new identity. And it's not one that she would have maybe chosen to be with.
39:12 Dax Shepard? Sure.
39:12 Speaker 01 And now she's in it. She has two children with this person. That's also probably a piece of it. If I had kids.
39:19 Dax Shepard? Well, and if you had boys, are they gonna want to be just like that?
39:21 Speaker 01 Exactly. And then what are we telling them about what our bodies should look like and what's important? That gets complicated. So I think she's probably struggling with, now I'm married to this type of guy.
39:33 Speaker 02 12 years later, a big... Life change like that?
39:35 Speaker 01 That's big.
39:36 Dax Shepard? Yeah, but let's just say for a second it was that she's just nervous he's changing. She doesn't know what she's gonna have and if he'll be around. And she could say that and leave bodybuilding out of it. So just like, I'm afraid of change. You're a different person. I don't know about saying that, cuz then he'll say I'm not, I'm just a bigger.
39:54 Speaker 02 Just huge.
39:55 Dax Shepard? I'm just jacked.
39:56 Speaker 01 But don't you think?
39:57 Dax Shepard? But you could comfort someone and go like, honey, this in no way leads to me wanting anything different in life. Like, I still very much want you. I still love our kids. You could address that and reassure that.
40:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:09 Dax Shepard? But if it's just a simple request to stop doing this thing you love.
40:13 Speaker 01 I mean, look, as we have learned on this trip, I love eating, I love going places, I love restaurants. And if I was married to someone and that's what we did, like, we went out, that's part of our life, that's part of our fun, and then he decides to become a bodybuilder, he can only eat protein shakes and chicken breasts. And that is affecting my life. That's affecting the relationship. Like, what we do together is totally shifted.
40:38 Dax Shepard? Right.
40:38 Speaker 01 That sucks.
40:39 Dax Shepard? See, that to me is defendable as a topic to bring up. You go like, we used to do this and I enjoyed it so much and now we don't. So how do we fix that?
40:47 Speaker 01 Right.
40:48 Dax Shepard? As opposed to just like, you quit bodybuilding, that'll fix itself. You gotta address the specific things that are coming up that have changed, that are not working for you. As opposed to just the theoretical umbrella of bodybuilding.
41:00 Speaker 02 Bodybuilders, am I right?
41:01 Dax Shepard? Oh, my God, they're all the same. They're all big.
41:04 Speaker 01 I'm trying to make it an equivalent. Like, if Kristen all of a sudden decided showers are bad for you.
41:13 Dax Shepard? Well, she has decided little things, like she decided, I'm not shaving my armpits or my legs anymore.
41:19 Speaker 01 Right, but you didn't care.
41:20 Dax Shepard? And she didn't consult me. And it's in a sanctified space that I can't even bring it up cuz it's under the umbrella of feminism, kinda?
41:29 Speaker 01 Of course. She can do what she wants with her body.
41:31 Dax Shepard? Yeah, she doesn't have to participate in this pageantry so men like you more. And I agree with that, so what am I gonna really say? And I don't care enough. Would it be my preference that there's scraggly hair? coming out of our armpit.
41:45 Speaker 02 All these suckers trying to find parking for their deliveries.
41:49 Speaker 01 I hope we meet some other delivery people when we drop it off.
41:52 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I hope this person also ordered a dozen.
41:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:55 Dax Shepard? I really wanted to be to my house one of these times, like my sister just ordered it for the children.
42:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, so this is a good example, but also like, what if it was more extreme? Because you didn't care enough about it.
42:05 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I don't really even care.
42:07 Speaker 01 But you would probably care.
42:07 Dax Shepard? I just go like, oh, I don't know that I would do something stylistically or aesthetically and not ask her. Like, I wouldn't go get a nose job and get a tiny nose before I ask her how she feels about that.
42:18 Speaker 01 Of course, you didn't ask her when you started to bulk up, because also it kind of happened.
42:22 Dax Shepard? I did.
42:22 Speaker 01 You did?
42:23 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I said to her, hey, you know, I've always said if I got a Marvel movie, I would get a trainer. I would do all the shit to do it. And I've been kind of waiting as an excuse for that to happen. And it was during COVID and I was like, I'm never gonna be in a Marvel movie. I will have no excuse. If I want to experience it, I just am gonna do it. What do you think about that? So right there is probably, this is a different scenario. This dude probably didn't ask her, so she felt.
42:52 Speaker 01 Left out.
42:52 Dax Shepard? Like she was.
42:53 Speaker 01 Abandoned.
42:53 Dax Shepard? Yes, or a part of this huge decision. And she said, I don't care unless I notice that you start acting differently, like more aggressive or something. I want the right to pull the plug on the whole thing. And I was like, yeah, great. And then that hasn't happened. And then in my defense, what happened in those pursuing for years was like you have Atiya's book coming out. Like, it's just more and more, science is now on my side that a good muscular body is going to be healthier metabolically. And it's probably a great decision as you decline that you're starting with more. So now it all worked out.
43:33 Dax Shepard? So I got lucky in that the popular wisdom of the day happens to be that, yeah, being strong is a good thing. Because I could see her saying, in the absence of that, okay, you did it. Now what? Yours is you for the rest of your life. You're gonna work out six days a week? But she too likes to work out.
43:49 Speaker 01 She's like now taken on some of it too after you.
43:54 Dax Shepard? Reading out lives.
43:55 Speaker 01 Right, but I mean, you kind of brought her into that space, I think. And she's decided to take some of that on. But what if she decided?
44:03 Dax Shepard? She wanted to become 400 pounds.
44:05 Speaker 01 Right.
44:06 Speaker 02 Do people make that decision?
44:08 Dax Shepard? No, but for the sake of this, I'm willing to pretend that she makes that decision. That one's tricky, but I guess this bodybuilding thing is not too dissimilar. There is a weight of muscle that's unhealthy. You start cannibalizing your organs. That's a well-known condition. But I would, of course, have on my side, I would be able to say, at this BMI index, scientifically speaking, you're shaving 20% of your life off at the end. And we want you to stick around. I don't know that that would be entirely honest.
44:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, you could mask it as health.
44:42 Dax Shepard? Yes.
44:43 Speaker 01 But the truth is...
44:44 Dax Shepard? And I think people do do that. They're not really being honest about the real thing that scares them. And they just mask it under that.
44:50 Speaker 01 Well, which I like that this woman is not saying that. She's not like, and I'm worried it's unhealthy. She's like, I don't like it.
44:55 Dax Shepard? I think you're right. I just think it's more of, who is this person?
44:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:00 Dax Shepard? And even more scary, she might be OK with this version. It's just, what's next?
45:05 Speaker 01 Yes, where will it go?
45:06 Dax Shepard? Yes, this kind of unknown fear of like, well, I thought I could have predicted how this person would have done when he was 69.
45:12 Speaker 01 Approaching the limit.
45:14 Dax Shepard? UPS, boy, this city's full of delivery folks, UPS.
45:17 Speaker 02 Oh, that's all that's happening around here.
45:19 Dax Shepard? It's like there's one legion of people in their house and the other legion of people is out delivering stuff to their houses.
45:25 Speaker 02 Meet at door, you are meeting them.
45:26 Dax Shepard? OK, I'm going up to 5:07. I'm going to climb five flights of stairs. This is what I was telling you about, Monica. They don't ask you how in shape you are.
45:33 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that's a factor.
45:35 Dax Shepard? And not everyone can take five flights of stairs.
45:37 Speaker 01 No, they can't, they can't.
45:38 Dax Shepard? What's the weird line to get in the place?
45:39 Speaker 01 I know.
45:40 Dax Shepard? This is exciting.
45:41 Speaker 02 I'll take a dime bag and a...
45:43 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I might come out with...
45:44 Speaker 02 Something's going on there, right?
45:45 Dax Shepard? I might come out with a lot of stuff.
45:47 Speaker 01 God, you've got to be brave to be a food delivery.
45:52 Dax Shepard? Well, luckily I am.
45:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. Oh, look, they met him right outside.
45:56 Speaker 01 Oh, he didn't even have to climb the stairs.
45:59 Speaker 02 He has climbed a few stairs on these trips.
46:01 Speaker 01 Wow.
46:02 Speaker 02 I'll give him that.
46:03 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
46:04 Speaker 02 They were standing right there.
46:05 Speaker 01 Tell us about her.
46:06 Dax Shepard? She said, "For Rachel?" I said, "Rachel B?" And she said, "Yep." And I said, "Here you go." And she said, "Thank you." And then she looked at me a little bit weird.
46:15 Speaker 01 OK.
46:16 Dax Shepard? And then she went inside.
46:18 Speaker 02 And she's like...
46:19 Speaker 01 We should have printed, um...
46:20 Speaker 02 You are handsome.
46:22 Dax Shepard? God, are you a bodybuilder?
46:25 Speaker 02 Have you been working out?
46:26 Dax Shepard? Your wife is so lucky. I've been looking for a man who knows how to build his body. I'm gonna go left here, too. This is where we pick up some action. The places you don't think anyone goes.
46:38 Speaker 01 This is near where you told me about the tire guy.
46:42 Dax Shepard? Oh, yes, exactly, John.
46:43 Speaker 01 John.
46:44 Dax Shepard? Oh, right up here. American Tire Centers. So to put a bow on it.
46:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:48 Dax Shepard? What's your final recommendation? Mine is to just really explore what's going on maybe a little more. Forget for a second whether you have a good argument, whether it's just stupid activity or not.
46:57 Speaker 01 Right.
46:57 Dax Shepard? Let's say it is. But I think just trying to really figure out what the key fear is that's happening. And then share with your partner what your fear is and give them the opportunity to comfort that. And if that doesn't work, then I guess we're dealing with something else.
47:13 Speaker 01 Divorce.
47:14 Dax Shepard? Divorce.
47:14 Speaker 01 I think it's a conversation that you have. You're vulnerable and then you say, "I'm scared that you're changing and I don't know if it will stop."
47:25 Dax Shepard? Maybe you agree to some kind of boundaries. I don't know what that looks like.
47:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:29 Dax Shepard? You touring for shows doesn't work for our family. Or if it's too much time. Or if he's really into bodybuilding, he's probably on real anabolic steroids and I don't know if his temperament's changing, you know?
47:41 Speaker 01 Yeah. I mean, also, look, listening to all these podcasts, not to be a hypocrite, but... It changes you.
47:49 Dax Shepard? Yeah, people have gotten sober from our podcast.
47:50 Speaker 01 Yes, and that's a beautiful thing. But your mindset can fully change when you are listening to something nonstop. And so I understand a fear of like, that's all you're consuming? That's scary. Maybe there's a boundary of like, can you just promise me that you'll diversify some of the things you're listening to? Oh, guess what we're close to.
48:11 Speaker 02 Baskin Robbins?
48:12 Speaker 01 Kara.
48:14 Dax Shepard? It's really a bigger question of like, how much autonomy do you have in a marriage?
48:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know.
48:20 Dax Shepard? Which is hard. Kristen could write in and it would be a very easy to defend position where she'd go, my husband's into racing motorcycles. We have a family. My girls love their dad. I don't know why he needs to risk his life doing this.
48:36 Speaker 01 Yep.
48:36 Dax Shepard? And that's such a legitimate.
48:38 Speaker 01 It makes me feel really unsafe.
48:39 Dax Shepard? Scared. And that's a really legitimate fear. And then I would have the opportunity to go like, well, look, they don't die riding motorcycles. Could I get paralyzed? Maybe, but I've been doing track days for 19 days.
48:52 Speaker 01 People definitely die.
48:53 Dax Shepard? No, no one's died at a track day that I've been at in 19 years. No one I've ever heard about.
48:57 Speaker 01 At a track day, but not on the street.
48:59 Dax Shepard? You could get hurt. I have been hurt. But yet, my defense would be like, this is who you met. This was my passion and I didn't false advertise. And it's really important to me. I get so much spiritual action out of that.
49:12 Speaker 01 It's part of who you are.
49:13 Dax Shepard? You're asking me to really give up a big chunk of who I am. I have an air suit, so when I crash, the thing will inflate. That's an improvement. You know, like what things am I doing to be safe? I've stepped down from a thousand to a smaller bike. I did do things, not even with her asking, but post accident, I did some things.
49:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't think you can ask someone to change fundamentally for you. I do think it's different if you're mid marriage.
49:37 Dax Shepard? Yes.
49:37 Speaker 01 Like she didn't sign up for this.
49:39 Dax Shepard? Right.
49:39 Speaker 01 But also people are people. They get to, you know, make decisions about their life.
49:44 Dax Shepard? Yeah, in a dream world, you get to try a lot of different things in life. And they might seem scary or out of character, but I think. I certainly want to do as much stuff as possible on my little trip.
49:55 Speaker 02 I agree. Change is good sometimes.
49:58 Dax Shepard? Yeah. A real hard one is when people get sober.
50:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:02 Speaker 02 Those relationships are impossible. I've noticed.
50:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:06 Speaker 02 Seen.
50:07 Dax Shepard? Especially if you use together.
50:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:09 Dax Shepard? Bree and I had definitely had other issues, but that wasn't easy.
50:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:14 Dax Shepard? We had been drinking together for 19 years. I mean, 19 years, nine years. And all of a sudden, I don't drink when we go out to eat. And then even worse, what was true to me was I didn't mind if she had two glasses of wine, but if she had three glasses of wine, we're having a different experience.
50:30 Speaker 01 Yes.
50:30 Dax Shepard? And it sucks that I had to go join this version of it. It just sucked for both of us. It's not fair to her. And for me, I don't want to be at dinner with someone who's a little drunk and isn't going to remember much of it, or is feeling overly emotional, which hasn't been warranted without alcohol.
50:46 Speaker 01 Right.
50:46 Speaker 02 There was people who have written in about that.
50:49 Dax Shepard? Oh, really?
50:50 Speaker 02 Experiences, yeah.
50:51 Speaker 01 Oh, God. I mean, I tend to think in that case, even though you're right, it's not fair. But if I was married to someone and they got sober, I would have to change my lifestyle. Maybe not be completely sober, but know that I care about this person's well-being and me drinking a ton around them is maybe not the best.
51:15 Dax Shepard? In my defense, I was like, go out with your girlfriends and get hammered. If we're going to spend the evening together and one of us is a little drunk and the other's not, it's just...
51:23 Speaker 01 Not fun.
51:24 Dax Shepard? Not terribly fun for me, yeah.
51:26 Speaker 02 It's a tough search. That's the definition of a sticky search.
51:29 Dax Shepard? That's a cat's tutu, as I say.
51:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:32 Speaker 01 What does that mean?
51:33 Dax Shepard? I say that a lot, right?
51:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I don't get it because cats don't wear tutus.
51:38 Dax Shepard? No, it's catch 22.
51:40 Speaker 01 Oh.
51:40 Dax Shepard? And then I used to say catch 22 because that sounds funny. And you still actually know what I'm saying.
51:45 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah.
51:46 Dax Shepard? Like, oh, that's a real catch 22.
51:48 Speaker 01 Yes.
51:48 Dax Shepard? That sounds fun.
51:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's cute.
51:50 Dax Shepard? But then over the years of saying catch 22, it became cats tutu.
51:53 Speaker 01 Okay.
51:53 Dax Shepard? Which sounds like a kitty cat's tutu.
51:55 Speaker 01 Exactly, and that's not a thing. That's not a thing that they do.
51:59 Dax Shepard? They don't wear...
51:59 Speaker 02 That's not a thing.
52:00 Dax Shepard? Although, they definitely... Only wear tutus on Instagram.
52:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:04 Dax Shepard? But most don't.
52:05 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Our phones are gonna be just lasted with cats wearing tutus now that we said it.
52:11 Dax Shepard? I would love to see that. Although I have a hunch if they existed, you and Kristen would have already sent. You know, I'm on a text chain with Kristen and Aaron, an Instagram.
52:20 Speaker 01 Oh, a chain.
52:21 Dax Shepard? DM chain. And these two love animals so much. I can't tell you how many. And I'm just like, I'm not sure why I'm on the text chain. Like, you guys do not need me on this.
52:32 Speaker 01 Is it animals?
52:33 Dax Shepard? Just enjoy your animals.
52:34 Speaker 02 We do send a lot to each other without you as well.
52:37 Dax Shepard? Oh, you do? Okay.
52:38 Speaker 02 But I think it's become, we both think you need to see. And I'm sure you don't. You don't feel the same way. But it's also really funny to me, some that, I know when she's sending something, I'm like, this is really funny she put it on the one with Dex, because it's gonna fucking hate it.
52:55 Dax Shepard? I don't hate it. It's hard for me to watch them. I'm like, oh, it's another animal doing something.
53:00 Speaker 02 They're like minutes long.
53:03 Dax Shepard? Maybe three minutes before the animal does something interesting.
53:06 Speaker 01 Aaron, you sent me a funny DM the other day of a picture of, what did it say? Like, Monica, let me in your pussy or something?
53:13 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. I'm on a gem. I forgot about that.
53:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, it was such a good gem.
53:17 Dax Shepard? What was it?
53:17 Speaker 01 Let me look for it really quick.
53:19 Dax Shepard? It says, let me in your pussy? Put me on that chain.
53:24 Speaker 02 That's one I'd love.
53:26 Speaker 01 Oh, it says, Monica, let me eat you out.
53:28 Speaker 02 Let me eat you out, yeah.
53:30 Dax Shepard? It was like a tag or like someone tagged it?
53:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, someone graffiti that somewhere.
53:34 Dax Shepard? Well, Monty, we love you. Thank you so much for coming.
53:37 Speaker 01 This was fun.
53:37 Dax Shepard? It's fun, right?
53:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm glad we delivered some tasty treats to people.
53:41 Dax Shepard? Did we make two or three deliveries?
53:43 Speaker 01 Two.
53:43 Speaker 02 Two.
53:46 Dax Shepard? Okay, great.
53:47 Speaker 01 How much money total today?
53:48 Dax Shepard? Let's see. No, we're at $4.65.
53:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:51 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. And we spent an hour and a half.
53:55 Dax Shepard? We were working it. I wonder if the gal Rebecca B., though, will go inside and then give me more of a tip? I hope not.
54:03 Speaker 01 Oh, because she knows it's you?
54:05 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
54:05 Speaker 01 What if she gives you $1,000?
54:09 Dax Shepard? I'll drive back to her house and give her 1,500.
54:16 Dax Shepard? That would be a good trick to fuck with me, actually.
54:18 Speaker 01 Oh, maybe next season, you guys, you can get the things.
54:23 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
54:23 Speaker 01 And then when you drop off the food, you leave like a hundred dollars in there.
54:27 Speaker 02 Just leave everyone cash.
54:28 Dax Shepard? If enough people watch this, I'll commit to that.
54:30 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
54:31 Speaker 01 I love you. Love you.
54:33 Speaker 02 Oh, man. What a date time.
Previous Dominic Fike Next Steven Pinker Returns (on common knowledge) Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated