Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card XIII

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us a crazy story. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Mike Padman.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Michael.

• 0:08Dax Shepard?

  Today we have wild card number 13.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 0:13Dax Shepard?

  Unlucky number 13.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  A baker's dozen, if you will.

• 0:16Dax Shepard?

  A baker's D.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:18Dax Shepard?

  If you, if you prefer. Please enjoy wild card. We get support from Quince.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 0:34Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a T-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up and everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  $60, $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 1:14Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time and he looks iconic.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  It's a uniform.

• 1:24Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 1:42Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is presented by YouTube Premium. YouTube was already great, but Premium supercharges it. If you like YouTube, you'll love Premium. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. Now let's get into today's episode.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  How are you?

• 2:45Dax Shepard?

  I noticed you have some indoor flora and that's really lovely. Tell me about that.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Thank you. This is my money tree. It's doing really well.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, very well. They don't get that big.

• 2:57Dax Shepard?

  Tell me about a money tree.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  Oh God, I don't really know anything about it other than its name and that it's ridiculously easy to take care of. And then my spider plant questionable, not doing so well.

• 3:07Dax Shepard?

  You have a spider plant and a money tree. You only want flora that has a kind of different name.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:14Dax Shepard?

  Maybe you should get a rubber tree too.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  I actually have one.

• 3:16Dax Shepard?

  No, you don't.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  I do. My dad gave it to me.

• 3:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh my goodness. Is it mature enough for you to harvest rubber from it?

• 3:24Speaker 02

  No, I'm definitely allergic too. So it sits in a jar in my window. It's happy. I'm not going to touch it.

• 3:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I just saw they do it. They just scrape a little tiny bit of the bark off and then they hang this little device at the end and then it just rubber pours out. It's so cool.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is really cool.

• 3:37Dax Shepard?

  Where are you at?

• 3:38Speaker 02

  I am in New Brunswick, Canada.

• 3:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful. We love our Canadian listeners.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 3:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So you have a wild card story.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I do. I have a really weird kind of embarrassing story for you guys.

• 3:51Dax Shepard?

  Those are our favorite.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  To set the scene, this was about six years ago. I was pretty heavily pregnant at the time with my first. I was about eight months pregnant, almost ready to pop. And intimacy at that point, kind of hard to come by. So I wanted to surprise my boyfriend when he got home from work and I kind of tried to set the scene. Dim some lights, lit some candles, put on some music, put on something that made me feel a little bit sexy. He gets home from work and he's pretty excited and I'm pretty excited. And then, you know, all the four place stuff happens, the usual. And then we're getting intimate on the couch because my center of gravity is off a little. I need something to hold on to, lean over. The bedroom's just not doing it for me anymore.

• 4:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay though, but the couch is already a little too small for a bunch of activity for two adults.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  It worked perfectly. I mean, you just lean over the arm of the couch, right? He's behind me. It just worked out.

• 4:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  So I'm leaning over the side of the couch and I hear him go, oh my God, oh my God. And I'm thinking, yeah, I'm doing great. He's having a great time.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  So hot.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Everything's awesome. I had my eyes closed, just like totally feeling the moment. And then I realized while my eyes are closed, that I see this light in front of my eyes.

• 5:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  So I'm thinking, oh shit, somebody came into the room. Cause at the time we were living in his mom's basement apartment.

• 5:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. Okay.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  So we had the music on loud enough that somebody could have come in and we wouldn't have noticed.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:20Dax Shepard?

  Plus you're in the heat of the moment. You're distracted.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Exactly. Worst nightmare. I was terrified somebody had come in. So I opened my eyes and I realized, no, the light's not on, but there's a light right in front of my face. It took me a couple of seconds and he's not moving anymore. I'm wondering what's going on. And then I realized I had leaned over the candle and my hair was up in flames.

• 5:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh my goodness. You were ablaze.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God, it was so bright that you noticed.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  A human torch.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 5:52Dax Shepard?

  I'm shocked you didn't smell it instantly.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  I am too, especially with like, you know, you're pregnant, your sense of smell is just so heightened, right? But that part definitely comes into play. So I hopped off and I'm slapping myself in the side of the face repeatedly, trying to get this fire out. And I look over at my boyfriend and he's standing there just like naked and afraid staring at me.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Oh God, it's like, do something.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Why are you not helping me? I think he was in shock, honestly. So I get the fire out and then my response to stressful situations is to just laugh. It's got me in trouble before. I've been in roles all the time. It's embarrassing.

• 6:28Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure. It's a great place for a laugh. I've had them.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Right? Like it's so awkward. So anyway, I'm like naked as the day I was born, eight months pregnant, hands on my knees, just gasping for air, just laughing. I couldn't stop laughing. And this man's probably questioning all his life choices, being like, why am I having a baby with this girl? What the fuck's going on? She's crazy. And that's when the smell hit me. So just to preface, I am a nurse. I work in the operating room. I've smelled burnt flesh, I've smelled necrotic bowel, the worst kind of infection you can imagine.

• 6:59Dax Shepard?

  Ooh, but hold on, pause. Just hear those words, fill in the blanks, necrotic bowel.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, not good.

• 7:05Dax Shepard?

  That's gotta be the worst place to have necrosis.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  It's nasty.

• 7:09Dax Shepard?

  Do you have anything you put below your nose?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Sometimes we use Mastisol. We'll just kind of dab it onto our masks. It smells like a tree. Like it smells really like a pine tree almost. It smells really good, but I mean, during pregnancy, I couldn't use that. So I just had to suffer.

• 7:24Dax Shepard?

  And you're stuck to the smell. You can't distance yourself from it.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. And it stays with you. You take that home.

• 7:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So we're back in the downstairs basement.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  So once the smell hits me, I, you know, at eight months pregnant was dealing with a lot of nausea. It didn't agree with me. And on top of all the smells that I've ever smelled in my career, that one in that moment has to take the cake of the worst smell I've ever smelled in my life. I did not handle it well.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  More than necrotic bowel.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  It was the perfect storm of everything.

• 7:54Dax Shepard?

  Probably very heightened and exacerbated by your pregnancy, right? Probably smelt differently to you then than it would today.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Exactly. And I mean, it's like right there. It's on my face. It's not going anywhere. I can't get away from it.

• 8:04Dax Shepard?

  Phew.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  So I started gagging and gagging and gagging and I couldn't stop.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  And then I realized, okay, I'm getting to the point where something's going to come up. So I ran to the bathroom, slammed the bathroom door, hit the floor, make it just in time to throw up into the toilet. And then after a few minutes of that, I hear a gentle knock on the door and my boyfriend go, Sarah, are you okay?

• 8:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  I'm not okay. Just had the worst thing happen to me.

• 8:35Dax Shepard?

  I have a strange hunch. You're not okay. I saw that you were on fire and then now I hear you're throwing up violently, but I have a hunch. Are you not okay?

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Definitely not okay. I ended up hopping into the shower, shampooed my hair probably five or six times, had a good cry about the fact that a big chunk of my hair was missing.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:53Dax Shepard?

  And you're already feeling your prettiest.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Beautiful hair, by the way.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Thankfully it's really long and thick, so it hid really well. I didn't have to go to my hairdresser and explain that to her.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  I ended up leaving the bathroom and going over to him and he stepped up in that moment after the fact and comforted me a little bit. And I was thinking, okay, this is it. Like he's not going to touch me again until after this baby pops out, our intimacy is done for months. And then he goes, I'm glad that you're okay. So do you want to finish what we started?

• 9:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. And I'm glad that was a plus for you because I'm like, I'm sure he's going to ask if he can finish.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Well, I said no. I went to connect.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Oh, sure. That was a big.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  Adventure.

• 9:32Dax Shepard?

  But you were relieved to hear he was still very interested.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:36Dax Shepard?

  This is what we try to tell everyone as our PSA announcements, like you're worried about how your bangs look. You think you have one dot of cellulite somewhere. Like the things you're obsessing about, we still want to fuck if you're on fire and reek and just threw up. Like you don't need to worry about us.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, after two kids have come to realize that he doesn't care.

• 9:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, nothing can really stand in the way.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:59Dax Shepard?

  So you've had more than one now? That was number one?

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was number one. And just about five months ago, we had our second.

• 10:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, congratulations.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 10:08Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm really glad you didn't lose your whole mane.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Oof, that would have been tough.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  I would have been devastated.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  So you got it out by just patting it?

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Right? Like, it would have been nice if you would have thrown me a glass of water, a blanket over my head or something. But no, I was on my own, so I just beat myself up a little.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 10:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Sarah, what a funny, clumsy, and really scary scenario. Yeah, cuz hair goes up quick, right? You could lose your whole hair in seconds.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Scary.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  Yep, I learned that day. It sure does.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Oh, no, guys. Cautionary tale.

• 10:38Dax Shepard?

  Other PSA, candles, they're very dangerous. People underestimate, they smell good, they're pretty, but boy, they bring down a lot of houses.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  You gotta be careful if you're gonna be a candle owner.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Definitely gave me a healthy dose of paranoia.

• 10:49Dax Shepard?

  They set a grandma on fire on Thanksgiving that we know about.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  They sure did. Thank you for calling and also for being a nurse and helping everyone. We love our nurses.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you. I'm so touched.

• 10:59Dax Shepard?

  Do you get foreign body up there in Canada? Foreign object and body?

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:03Dax Shepard?

  Craziest item you've seen?

• 11:04Speaker 02

  I haven't been lucky enough to scrub in on one of those yet, but craziest I've heard of is probably an apple or a remote.

• 11:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we've heard apple.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Had an apple.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  And it's always, I fell. No, you didn't.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  It's so sad. They think that's convincing.

• 11:20Dax Shepard?

  Nothing's plausible, but that's the most plausible?

• 11:25Speaker 03

  Well, no, it's not.

• 11:27Dax Shepard?

  No, I know it's not plausible, but in their mind, what other option?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Maybe just say, I put it up there.

• 11:32Dax Shepard?

  I like having fun.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  I guess.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  If you're coming into the operating room to get an apple taken out of your ass, I mean, you just got to admit how you got there.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  Exactly. Exactly. I'm with you.

• 11:41Dax Shepard?

  All right, Sarah, well, enjoy your summer.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. You guys as well. I appreciate it.

• 11:46Dax Shepard?

  All right, take care.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Bye bye.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Fire stories, cautionary tales, sex gone wrong.

• 11:53Dax Shepard?

  Always have a fire extinguisher when you have sex.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  I used to have a fire extinguisher in my room.

• 11:57Dax Shepard?

  Why don't you pop one under your bed?

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Well, I can't based on my bed frame.

• 12:02Dax Shepard?

  You know, I don't like the fancy bed frames. Don't give you that gap. That's a useful bit of storage.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  It is. I don't really need storage, but it would be good to hide a fire extinguisher.

• 12:11Dax Shepard?

  And a baseball bat and a shotgun.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm good on that.

• 12:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay, emergency bottle.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  That can fit in the nightstand.

• 12:19Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 12:20Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 12:21Dax Shepard?

  Hi. Your name is?

• 12:23Speaker 04

  Shama.

• 12:24Dax Shepard?

  Is that an Irish name? What is that?

• 12:25Speaker 04

  No, it's from North Africa. I'm from Algeria.

• 12:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  Beautiful.

• 12:31Dax Shepard?

  So it has a Moorish origin?

• 12:33Speaker 04

  It means like very beautiful, to simplify it.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  We love that.

• 12:37Dax Shepard?

  It's accurate.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:38Speaker 04

  Thank you, guys.

• 12:40Dax Shepard?

  So are you French?

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm French. I'm from Paris.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 12:45Dax Shepard?

  And do you live there currently?

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:47Dax Shepard?

  Are you gonna host Monica for dinner next week?

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm gonna be in Paris in a couple weeks.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  For what event?

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Just play.

• 12:54Speaker 04

  Ooh, you're gonna enjoy it because the weather is gonna be super nice next week.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 12:58Speaker 04

  I know you're a fashion mogul, so you're gonna love it.

• 13:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  I'm from a Parisian.

• 13:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, went from fashionista to fashion mogul.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 13:08Dax Shepard?

  Why do you speak English so well?

• 13:10Speaker 04

  It's related to my story, but I used to work in fashions.

• 13:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you're sprained, yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  I gotta go. I am so excited.

• 13:17Dax Shepard?

  What if you stood up and went straight to LAX and flew to Paris today?

• 13:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you have a wild card story? We have no clue what it is. We have photos, but we haven't looked at them, so please tell us.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  To give you a bit of context, it was in 2007. I was 19 years old and a fashion student. So in Paris, in a fashion school, and our homework were mainly sewing clothes. It was late at night. I was sewing, and like a lot of people sewing, I had the headpins in my mouth.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  At some point, I don't remember, it was really late. I coughed or sneezed, I don't know, but I swallowed it.

• 13:55Dax Shepard?

  You swallowed a bunch of pins?

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 13:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh, one pin.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 14:00Dax Shepard?

  Fuck, no.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  That's horrible. Now, is it a safety pin or just one of the pins that's just straight with the little thing on the top?

• 14:08Speaker 04

  Not the safety pin, this one, the dangerous one.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 14:11Dax Shepard?

  That looks like a sewing needle, probably.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, but just with the flat head.

• 14:23Dax Shepard?

  We get support from our presenting sponsor, YouTube Premium. Now, you already know I'm a big YouTube person. It's incredible on its own, but Premium makes the whole experience feel enhanced. Like, you don't realize how much better it can get until you try it. The biggest game changer for me? Background play. I love long, two-hour deep dives, you name it, motorcycles, travel, cars.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Cooking shows for me.

• 14:49Dax Shepard?

  Cooking. Listen, with Premium, you don't have to keep the screen open, so I can lock my phone, slide it into my pocket, and listen to a podcast while I'm folding laundry or working out. It's also completely ad-free, meaning when a narrator is building up to the climax of an insane story, there's zero interruption. And for travel, offline download saves the day. I love this one. Relying on airplane Wi-Fi can be a gamble, so I just download my favorite videos before takeoff. And with smart downloads, Premium will automatically download new videos from channels you actually follow without having to lift a finger. I'm covered if I forget to download a video I want to watch, or even if there's no service. And the home run for me is that YouTube Premium remembers

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  exactly where I left off and lets me continue watching on another device from right where I stopped. So I can start a video on my TV while brushing my teeth and pick it right back up on my phone on my morning walk. So yeah, YouTube was already great, but Premium supercharges it. If you like YouTube, you'll love Premium. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. We get support from Superhuman. I'm someone who wants to do big, meaningful work, but the small stuff eats up my day before I even get to it. The endless emails, docs, scheduling, follow-ups that pile up. By the time all that's cleared, there's no energy left for the ambitious stuff.

• 16:11Dax Shepard?

  Most AI tools promise to fix that, but they require opening a new tab, re-explaining everything from scratch every single time. A week later, it's just another thing collecting dust in the browser. Superhuman, from the makers of Grammarly, is different. It's already embedded inside the tools people are using, email, docs, browser. It's not waiting to be found. It's already there, working alongside, clearing what's in the way, so the focus stays on what's actually worth doing. A thought partner that's already up to speed, no catching it up. It knows the style, the workflows, and it backs people up without getting in the way. At your service, not after your job. That's the difference. Give it a try for yourself. Start streamlining your workflows with Superhuman.

• 16:54Dax Shepard?

  Try today at superhuman.com. We get support from Instagram Teen Accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Which is a fair question.

• 17:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so Instagram has got something called Teen Accounts, and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age-appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 17:43Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on, and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age-appropriate experiences for teens.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  I am really glad Instagram's helping to give parents peace of mind with Teen Accounts.

• 18:02Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about Teen Accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts. We get support from Skims. So Monica just informed me that she's a girl's girl, and I nodded like I knew exactly what that meant.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the girls who get it, they get it.

• 18:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, but for those of us who are clearly not girls, walk me through it.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Well, you know how much I love my Skims fleece joggers? Because the plush fleece is so soft, it's cozy, it's really comfortable without feeling too heavy. Well, I learned to friend them, and she would not stop talking about how comfy they were. She almost didn't give them back to me, which was upsetting, but I'm a girl's girl, so I let her have it.

• 18:43Dax Shepard?

  Great, great, great.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  So the sleep sets are awesome because they are very soft and comfortable, but they're cute. If I'm in my sleep set, I feel fine about going down the street to pick up my food. I'm still looking cute, but I'm comfy and I'm cozy.

• 18:58Dax Shepard?

  Roger.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  A really fun thing to do is if you're going on vacation with your girlfriends, to get matching Skims pajamas. I've done this with Callie, and it is so fun. First of all, the pics are so cute, but also it's just fun and friendship.

• 19:11Dax Shepard?

  So a girl's girl is looking out for your friends with better loungewear. I get it. Am I one of your girls now?

• 19:17Speaker 03

  You are. You and the other girlies can shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey, and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  So I ran straight to my mom's room to wake her up and told her like, I just swallowed the pin. And she said, okay, let's go to the ER to understand my mom is a doctor. And like a few weeks earlier, she told me, yeah, you should stop doing that because it's quite dangerous.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  So she takes me to the ER. We arrive, we meet the night shift doctor there. So I got a bunch of exam and especially radiography to have an image of where it could be the pin. After that, the doctor comes and she says, okay, we need to go there and you need to undress completely because I think the pin is on your body. You didn't swallow it.

• 20:16Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 20:16Speaker 04

  So I start to strip and she checks everything. She said, yeah, it's not in your digestive system. I don't see it. It's near the boob, so it must be there. And I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I felt it, but I listen. Okay. And she finds nothing. She tells me, okay, you go home, eat some bread. If it's somewhere, it will just pass through.

• 20:37Dax Shepard?

  Optimistic. I mean, this doesn't seem like it might pass through.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  We go home on the right back. I tell my mom, that's weird because when I breathe, I can feel it.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  So I go home, I eat bread, I go to bed. Next morning, I wake up, I go to the kitchen, I find my mom. I can see she didn't sleep at all. And she called a friend of her that is a surgeon and he came for breakfast after his night shift. The dude asked me like two questions. He looked at my mom and said, it's in the lungs.

• 21:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:10Speaker 04

  So my mom, like her eyes light up and she was like, hey, dress up, let's go to the ER.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  So we went back to the ER and fortunately or unfortunately for the doctor, the same doctor was there and my mom got so pissed at her. She was screaming, you didn't believe her. It's probably in her lung. She could have collapsed. So they take out her exam and it's in the lungs. So I didn't swallow it. I inhaled it.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  Oh, holy shit.

• 21:38Dax Shepard?

  But what now?

• 21:39Speaker 04

  I was admitted for surgery. So I spent three days in the hospital. They had to do a bronchoscopy. What was funny is that every nurse that were taking me from a room to another were all asking me, hey, why are you here? And I was explaining and they were all laughing their ass off, like, what the fuck? And in the end, they took it out.

• 21:58Dax Shepard?

  They go in with a scope through your airwave into your lung. Okay. So they don't have to open up your skin or anything.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  Exactly. But everything went well. They gave me back the pin. It was already rotting. Actually, I still have it somewhere in my house.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, you could have gotten seps- a million things could have gone wrong, but definitely sepsis, rusting.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  In the picture, you can see the pin. I was actually very lucky because I swallowed it on the right side, the flat side at the bottom.

• 22:27Dax Shepard?

  And why is that lucky?

• 22:29Speaker 04

  Because if it was the opposite, I think I would have popped my lung.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Oh, here it is.

• 22:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really? Oh.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  We're bad at looking at these, by the way.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  I thought it was gonna be on the computer, so it was bigger. I didn't know.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  No, we're just not good at like, understanding it.

• 22:45Dax Shepard?

  We'd be terrible radiologists because we did foreign objects in body last week, which this is a foreign object in body, but not, not anally.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  Not rectum.

• 22:54Dax Shepard?

  Rectally, anally.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  That's how I titled my story, actually. A foreign object in body, not in bed.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. Yeah, I can't believe it didn't puncture anything.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  No, I got really lucky because I stayed like, like for maybe 48 hours before they did surgery on me. And then after three days, it was okay. I didn't need antibiotics.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 23:18Dax Shepard?

  Really?

• 23:18Speaker 04

  And then I went back to school. And so like, everyone knew.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  When I arrived, I remember in my sewing class, the teacher was Japanese with a real big Japanese accent, not speaking very good French. And he saw me and he just said, you stupid. And that's it.

• 23:37Dax Shepard?

  Lot of fun cultural stuff going on.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 23:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. If you call the students stupid in this country, they'd be like, you'd go see the dean, there'd be a walkout.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  You'd be surprised in France.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Fashion is expensive on a lot of levels.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:52Dax Shepard?

  I could imagine maybe that's a common thing in the sewing world.

• 23:56Speaker 04

  They tell us at the beginning, like, yeah, you have something to put the pin there. But like, everyone puts it in the mouth. It's easier like to have it. And sometimes I could have like 10 pins in my mouth, which is stupid. I don't do it anymore.

• 24:08Dax Shepard?

  I do it with screws. When I'm doing like wall anchors, I'll put all four, or if I'm hammering stuff, I'll put all the nails in my mouth.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Maybe not anymore.

• 24:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, be careful.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:19Dax Shepard?

  I'll just make sure I breathe through my nose. Wow.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Eek.

• 24:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my Lord.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Well, I'm really glad you're okay.

• 24:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And Shama, do you listen to the show?

• 24:27Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:28Dax Shepard?

  In France. When did you discover it?

• 24:30Speaker 04

  Actually, it's a shout out to one of my best friends. She introduced me to the show. We do love poop stories. So it's our favorites.

• 24:38Dax Shepard?

  Good, good, good.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  I actually listen to mostly American podcasts. You're on top of my list. I listen to you guys every week. So now I put a face on the voices I listen to.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  That's so nice.

• 24:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we're flattered.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Very.

• 24:53Dax Shepard?

  All right. Well, say hi to Monica for me when you see her in Paris.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  I hope so.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  Well, this was lovely.

• 24:59Speaker 04

  Thank you, guys. Thank you for welcoming me to the show. And can I give a final shout out?

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 25:04Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 25:05Speaker 04

  It's to my coworker, Maria, because she likes the show and she's also listening to it. She's from Spain, actually.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  Oh, my goodness.

• 25:12Speaker 04

  So you're like a fine base in Europe.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  I love this.

• 25:16Dax Shepard?

  Well, thank you, Shama.

• 25:17Speaker 04

  Thank you so much, guys. Enjoy your day.

• 25:19Dax Shepard?

  Take care.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 25:22Dax Shepard?

  I'm so charmed by the French accent.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  I just love, because they're so cool there. They're listening to us. It's really exciting.

• 25:31Dax Shepard?

  Look at the camera. It looks like a magic trick, kinda, right? So there's this.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  Wait, what? I'm not noticing. Look at the camera?

• 25:37Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm sorry. Look at the screen. And then look at this. And this is a, it's a magic trick. Well, it wasn't a good magic trick, but here's a magic trick.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:48Dax Shepard?

  Right? It looks like it just changed to green. Right? Now, that wasn't a good magic trick, but here comes a good magic trick. Okay. What?

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Uh oh.

• 25:58Dax Shepard?

  Did you feel it?

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Um.

• 26:00Dax Shepard?

  I think that's a really good magic.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Okay, do it again. That one was better. It's a really good magic trick.

• 26:10Dax Shepard?

  I'm getting so good at magic.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. And you don't even like magic.

• 26:13Dax Shepard?

  But now I do.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  All it required was you.

• 26:15Dax Shepard?

  I can be able to do it.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Being able to do one trick.

• 26:17Dax Shepard?

  Is that a shocker to you? I don't like anything I can't do.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 26:22Dax Shepard?

  If I can't do it, it's for idiots. But if I can do it, it's for kings.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  Cool people.

• 26:26Dax Shepard?

  It's for kings and heroes. Yeah, that's a good magic trick.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Okay. Well, for the listener.

• 26:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's, I won't suck.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  That was really.

• 26:34Dax Shepard?

  People saw the trick.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  He's just twisting the nicotine.

• 26:36Dax Shepard?

  But it's so fast that on the camera, it does look like, watch one more time.

• 26:41Dax Shepard?

  I'm the cutest little boy ever, man. Watch me jump. Watch me play. I'm the cutest little boy ever, man. Watch me jump. Watch me play.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 26:53Speaker 05

  Hey, guys. How are you?

• 26:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Alex, I'm so envious of the denseness of your hair.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  You have nice hair.

• 26:59Dax Shepard?

  You have plumage.

• 27:00Speaker 05

  Thank you. I grew it myself.

• 27:01Dax Shepard?

  You probably take it for granted, yeah?

• 27:03Speaker 05

  I think so. I have a lot of optionality when I want to cut my hair. Take a plan, though.

• 27:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you could go long. Everything's on the table for you. You could even have a shaved head. I bet you would look great.

• 27:12Speaker 05

  I've done that before. I used to cut my hair in college and I made a lot of mistakes. Had to shave it off clean slate.

• 27:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And how do you look with a shaved head? Pretty good?

• 27:21Speaker 05

  I don't know. You'll have to ask my wife.

• 27:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I will.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, look at you, trying not to brag.

• 27:25Dax Shepard?

  I know. He's humble and handsome.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then you're a skier?

• 27:29Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 27:30Dax Shepard?

  Good job, Monica.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  I finally did it.

• 27:32Dax Shepard?

  See, doesn't it feel fun?

• 27:33Speaker 03

  It's all right.

• 27:34Dax Shepard?

  You see why I do it?

• 27:34Speaker 03

  It's all right. I wish I hadn't done it.

• 27:37Dax Shepard?

  But you're a cross-country skier.

• 27:40Speaker 05

  These are actually old vintage Alpine skis from like the 40s.

• 27:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, back before you had rear bindings and people do that weird pirouetting thing?

• 27:49Speaker 05

  Even before that, where skiing was actually just used for transportation and not for pleasure or leisure.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  That sounds miserable, actually, because you're just like trekking, trekking, trekking.

• 27:58Dax Shepard?

  You're like in the Finnish military at that point.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 28:02Dax Shepard?

  Where are you at, Alex?

• 28:03Speaker 05

  I am in my home in Morrison, Colorado.

• 28:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. We would hope it was an Alpine location with the ski thing.

• 28:10Speaker 05

  I'm originally from Ottawa, Canada, which is not mountainous. I moved here 13 years ago strategically.

• 28:15Dax Shepard?

  To pursue a life of skiing?

• 28:17Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, my life was skiing. And actually, there's a lot of this story is based around one of those experiences.

• 28:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful, wonderful. Okay. And you're liking Colorado? Did you marry an American?

• 28:27Speaker 05

  Married a Coloradoan. And we met in college in Big Sky State, Montana.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Nice. Big Sky, great skiing.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  Yeah. So the mountains have always been calling.

• 28:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And it's a good place, right? If you gotta pick an American state and you're from Canada, that's a pretty good transition.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  100%. I first visited Colorado when I was 14 and it was one of those things I went home and my mom's like, how was it? I'm like, I'm gonna move there, live there one day. And it was one of those like pat on the head. That's really cute, honey.

• 28:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:54Speaker 05

  But I thought, you know what? Somehow, immigration, who knows? We'll make it.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  You did it.

• 29:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So you have a wild card story. Please tell us.

• 29:03Speaker 05

  Yes. So this story is being pulled from the archives, which took place 26 years ago. And I'll preface this with the fact that it's not a tremendously fun story, but it's a two-generation story of fate with a healthy dose of stimulation theory.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  We love it.

• 29:21Dax Shepard?

  Stimulation?

• 29:22Speaker 03

  Simulation.

• 29:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, simulation theory. I was like, I'm unaware of stimulation theory, but I could easily make a theory.

• 29:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, sim. So this takes place in November of 2000 in a small town called Kaprun in Austria. And there's a ski glacier there called Kitzsteinhorn. But I was a sophomore at a ski racing academy in Vermont. And this is kind of where the simulation starts. My mom went to that school and was in the first graduating class in 1976.

• 29:51Dax Shepard?

  In Vermont or Austria?

• 29:53Speaker 05

  In Vermont, and I was the first second generation student to attend that school. But for context, both of our graduating classes were six or less.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  There's about 60 kids in the school-ish. So this isn't a massive legacy high school where several generations attend. This school was regimented. We skied December through April, nearly every day between racing and training. And in the falls, we would play varsity soccer against other schools in Vermont. But predominantly, we would spend August, October in very scheduled, heavy dry land and weight training sessions in preparation for the ski season.

• 30:30Dax Shepard?

  Can I ask how you had enough students to assemble a soccer team? You needed quite a few players for that.

• 30:35Speaker 05

  Everybody played.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Sixty's enough.

• 30:37Dax Shepard?

  But through all the grades, right? His grade was only six.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  I know, but it's all the grades.

• 30:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, freshmen played on the same team as seniors. It was a collective. We weren't the strongest, but it was one of those requisites. We had to play. But we'd do dryland training for the fall months. And I'll only tell you this to paint the picture on how regimented things were. And scheduling was a huge focus. Once the dryland season was over, end of October, we would search for snow. And being in the East Coast, we'd usually find ourselves in Europe in late October, early November. And then here in Colorado, end of November for training and some early season races and stuff.

• 31:13Dax Shepard?

  I gotta ask a personal question, and it's probably shame inducing, but your parents have to have money, right? This sounds hugely expensive to have your kid in the school.

• 31:20Speaker 05

  It's expensive. We had a lot of help from my grandparents.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 31:23Dax Shepard?

  That's nice.

• 31:24Speaker 05

  Very fortunate.

• 31:32Dax Shepard?

  This episode is supported by Helix.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Dax, is there anything better than crawling into a perfect bed on a cold fall night? Candlelit, hoodie on, maybe even some rain outside. The dream.

• 31:46Dax Shepard?

  That's the dream. You just described one of my ideal fall nights.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  I know. And thanks to Helix, my bed actually lives up to the vibe. All I had to do was take the Helix Sleep Quiz, and within two minutes, they matched me to a mattress built for exactly how I sleep. I have a midnight mattress. It also has cooling technology, which I really

• 32:06Dax Shepard?

  Increasingly so.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  I need it. I have to have it. And I heard that you're supposed to sleep at a cold temp for optimal sleep. It's very, very helpful.

• 32:17Dax Shepard?

  She is not wrong. I have one too. And it's been such a game changer for sleep. And I love that they make it so easy. Free shipping right to your door. And with their happy with Helix guarantee, you'll get a full 365 nights to try it. A whole year to live in that cozy. They've got over 20 mattress models. So no matter how you sleep, they've got one for you.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  And it's not just us saying it. Helix has been named the most awarded mattress brand by Forbes, Wired, and more. You got to try it for yourself.

• 32:44Dax Shepard?

  Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. helixsleep.com/armchair. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Glee Ron. Foundo is a once daily prescription GLP one medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 33:23Speaker 06

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• 34:04Speaker 06

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• 34:20Dax Shepard?

  This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace, and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skill set, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours. But at some point, you're ready to put it out there. And that transition from private to public can feel like a hugely leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you

• 35:01Dax Shepard?

  need to go from, I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace.com/Dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 35:34Speaker 05

  So in 2000, our snow search took us to Austria, this little town of Kaprun. Our plan was to be there for two weeks before making it back to the US and then out to the Rockies. Now, Kaprun is a small town in the Salzburg province of the Austrian Alps. It's hugely quintessential with overpowering smell of cow shit.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  But it had a ton of classic wooden structures, wooden shutters, all of those things. So very picturesque. But we were going to be there for 12 days, training 10 of those days. Given we were a bunch of high schoolers, some more unhinged and unpredictable than others. We were on a tight schedule that I was talking about. They kept tabs on all of us. But our daily schedule would be consistent. You know, we wake up at 7:30, we go for a quick jog or warm up. We'd have breakfast and then we grab all our gear, pile into some vans and go to the bottom of the mountain to catch the nine o'clock AM funicular train, which took us up to the base of the ski area. And for those that don't know what a funicular is, it's a really steep terrain that goes through a cutout

• 36:36Speaker 05

  tunnel into the mountain to the base of the glacier. So we're two and a half miles in a tunnel before opening up and being at the base where all the lodges are. So we followed this schedule for the first four days. It was intended for us to follow that the fifth day, November 11th, our last day of training before our first day off. This is when, you know, disaster struck. Thinking back, using my high school memory, we had lost power at the hotel, which reset all the clocks in the hotel. So if you remember, no cell phones, no alarm clocks to maintain that schedule. So our coaches worked us up early, and we deviated from that schedule. But for us, I mean, it felt like a normal day. We woke up, warm up, ate bands, and base of the mountain. And we got there for the

• 37:21Speaker 05

  first train, which is at eight o'clock. We reached the base of the glacier. And it was a beautiful day. There were no clouds, bright blue sky. For those that are seeing through this, fresh broomed trails. I mean, this thing was like ready for us. And it felt like we're the only ones there. It was predominantly serviced by T bars. So we were expected to be on those T bars as soon as we had all of our gear on. And our coaches would go up and start setting the courses and the training for the day.

• 37:51Dax Shepard?

  We should probably explain a T bar, because I don't think people who haven't skied understand what that is.

• 37:55Speaker 05

  It's a lift that, I mean, honestly, it looks like an upside down T. And it goes behind your butt. And the cable just pulls you up.

• 38:03Dax Shepard?

  It's like being on a tow rope, but you don't have to pull onto the tow rope. You're now leaning on this bracket.

• 38:07Speaker 05

  And the thing with T bars is you know, if you've been on them, sometimes you fall, or it gets caught in your clothes. And if that happens, you fall and you get dragged up the mountain until the T bar stops by the operator. And you can reset. Come on, friend, I run the T bar probably on our second or third warm up run. And this is around nine o'clock. And this is when the T bar stopped abruptly. And again, we thought someone had fallen, but 10 minutes had gone by, which started to feel a little bit too long. So we started commenting on how, you know, the lift, you probably need to go get a shot of schnapps or whatever it was, and bring some levity to the fact that we haven't had moved in a while. But this is when our coaches started skiing down to every single occupied T

• 38:52Speaker 05

  bar, asking everyone to grab their stuff and head to the base. This is when we turned around and got off. And we saw a large black plume of smoke in the air coming from the train area with flames shooting out of the building.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  What? Oh, my God.

• 39:10Speaker 05

  The black smoke was such a contrast to the blue sky. And the air began to smell like burnt plastics. The nine o'clock train.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Was the one that we were scheduled to be on that day. It had malfunctioned in the tunnel. Causing the two trains to emergency stop inside the tunnel and sparking a fire that engulfed both trains and the entire tunnel.

• 39:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh my god.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  My god.

• 39:41Speaker 05

  An emergency exit door at the top of the tunnel had been left open. So the wind tunnel effect fueled the flames, putting everything and everyone in the tunnel in an uncontrollable inferno.

• 39:53Dax Shepard?

  Whoa.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  There were a hundred and sixty one people trapped who died that day.

• 40:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh my god.

• 40:05Speaker 05

  Twelve people ended up escaping. In the last train, they broke a window and escaped down below the fire and the smoke towards the base of the train. At this point in our lives, there were no cell phones, especially for high school kids. We had no way of checking in with or contacting our parents in live time. And given the time difference between Austria and Eastern US, our parents woke up to breaking world news of a train that had caught fire at the glacier we were at, killing every passenger.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Can you imagine being a parent here? I mean, oh my god.

• 40:40Dax Shepard?

  Also, only twelve out of a hundred and seventy two people? That's wild.

• 40:46Speaker 05

  It took us several hours to evacuate this area, which was done using one large tram that wasn't in service for the last year. So we did one tram at a time. You know, they wanted to make sure the cables were healthy enough, so they didn't overload these trams. So it took us a long time. And while we waited, this is when we started to see body bags being pulled from the top of the train station, medical helicopters doing the rounds consistently. And it was loud and it was chaotic, which was a polarizing experience to the environment that we were in, right? It's beautiful. And now you have this chaos. One of my classmates was covered in black ash. Because while we were skiing, he was tending to a broken boot

• 41:29Speaker 05

  and he was sitting on a bench facing the sliding doors to the tunnel when the initial burst of smoke and flames came up into the tunnel. He ended up being fine and unscathed, but he reminded me of, remember the boy in the original Mary Poppins that stuck his face into the cannon?

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  So it kind of looked like that blasted by soot. From what I'm told, our parents called the school in a frenzy, as parents would. And they were told they thought we were okay. And it wasn't before we got back to the hotel that we were able to call our parents and do the wellness check, let them know that we were fine. And to your point earlier, Monica, you know, as a parent now, I have two girls, seven eleven. I can't even imagine the type of terrified anxiety or worry that our parents felt while they waited for a call.

• 42:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  This is a true nightmare.

• 42:15Dax Shepard?

  I hate to bring levity to it, but I will say, when you finally called your parents, that would have been an ideal time to also unload some secret you had.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 42:24Dax Shepard?

  Like, I made it also. I'm the one who crashed the car in the garage and I didn't say anything. Anything you had said, they wouldn't have given a shit about at that point.

• 42:31Speaker 05

  I think I might have been fifteen years old. I didn't have that forethought. But if I could go back in time, I likely would have confessed to some things.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  Did you think about it a lot after?

• 42:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I think about it often. We've got lots of tunnels here in Colorado and in tunnels now these days still. It's one of those things where I'm always looking for the exit doors. And it's just one of those traumas that have stayed.

• 42:53Dax Shepard?

  There was a funicular accident in Austria recently again, right?

• 42:57Speaker 05

  I hadn't heard that, but that would be really unfortunate.

• 43:00Dax Shepard?

  Because we were there a few summers ago. By the way, we're in that area. And then we also took one up in a little town called Holsted. And there's a big funicular. And yeah, every time you're on them, you're like, I guess this works. You know, you're at like a forty five degree angle.

• 43:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, and you're sardined.

• 43:16Dax Shepard?

  And it's just a straight shot down a mountain. And you're like, oh no, but the brakes will deploy, blah, blah, blah. It's always a little hairy, those things.

• 43:22Speaker 05

  Certainly. So whatever had happened that night before, whatever prompted our coaches to wake us up earlier and we start the day earlier. I mean, we were scheduled to be on that train. That's a slice of fate, but here's where the simulation comes back. So in June of nineteen seventy five, during my mom's junior year at the same school, she was returning to the East Coast from a ski training camp at Mount Hood with the US ski team. Her flight from Portland had mechanical issues and was delayed. She was intended to go from Portland to Chicago, Chicago JFK, and then up to Montreal, where my grandparents would pick her up. But because of that delay, she missed that connecting flight in Chicago by minutes. The plane was still there, but the doors were shut, kind of thing.

• 44:05Speaker 05

  That flight from Chicago to JFK ended up hitting a massive microburst in the final approach and the plane crashed, killing the passengers on that.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Stop it.

• 44:15Dax Shepard?

  That is impossible.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Oh my.

• 44:19Dax Shepard?

  You're knocking.

• 44:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, knock on wood, for sure.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  That is crazy.

• 44:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, my mom reminded me of that story when I told her I was gonna come on and speak with you both. She's like, do you remember that whole plane thing? That was when I was at that school too. And I was like, you know what? If anyone's gonna appreciate this simulation, it's these two, so I'm gonna bring it up.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  You two are the luckiest people alive.

• 44:43Dax Shepard?

  Obvious thought is, you're not gonna now send one of your kids to that school, are you? How many times do you guys need to like dodge?

• 44:50Speaker 03

  Okay, well, I'm not gonna, but they'd be okay. But you would be causing some other bad thing.

• 44:56Dax Shepard?

  You might be sentencing some people to tragedy.

• 44:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 44:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:59Dax Shepard?

  Wow, Alex.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  That is wild. Wild, wild card.

• 45:03Dax Shepard?

  Lived up to its name, wild card.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:05Dax Shepard?

  Have you been back there?

• 45:06Speaker 05

  Not to that glacier, no, but I've been back to Austria before. I love Austria. It's such a beautiful country.

• 45:12Dax Shepard?

  You feel like you're in a storybook the whole time.

• 45:14Speaker 05

  For sure. Both my girls ski now and they're starting to do their thing with that. And my goal is to get them over to the Alps at some point or the Dolomites and have them skiing there and just for them to see it. I know that my youngest will, they all, it looks like the town from Frozen.

• 45:28Dax Shepard?

  They tell people in Holsted that the town of Arendelle was modeled after it.

• 45:33Speaker 05

  Oh, was it?

• 45:34Dax Shepard?

  It wasn't, but they say that. That's like the lore there, but it's actually not true. But yes, it does look very much like Arendelle from Frozen. Did the skiing stay fun for you? That sounds so regimented. I'm wondering, was it fun throughout all that? It must have been because you stuck with it.

• 45:48Speaker 05

  I love the sport. So actually, I skied through high school and then took two years off and skied full time. And then I went to college in Montana where I met my wife, skied in college. It was a great sport, very fortunate to have experienced everything that I did. And if my kids want to, that's great. But it's one of those things where I just want it to be fun for them. I want the story years from now to be, well, we just skied. That's just kind of what we did. And I do want them to be better than their spouses.

• 46:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. And that's a healthy bar. You can hit that target just fine.

• 46:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 46:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, well, it's lovely meeting you, Alex.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  So nice to meet you. That's a really crazy story.

• 46:28Speaker 05

  It's okay. My wife is here as well.

• 46:30Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Bring her in.

• 46:31Dax Shepard?

  I want to see her, the thickness of her hair. Let's see what these kids got.

• 46:34Speaker 05

  She's got a good head, too. My wife, Lauren, so she introduced me to Armchair. She is a day one listener. I remember the first episode we listened to was your first meeting with Michael Pollan. It was fascinating. And I became hooked ever since. So you're our road trip buddies, our long commute buddies, weekends up to the mountains buddies. So we're with you guys all the time. Hello, this is a small ass problem.

• 46:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's get, I wanna, I wanna get a good look at you. Yeah. Great hair, everybody.

• 47:02Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 47:03Dax Shepard?

  And great teeth in this family.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  And overalls.

• 47:06Dax Shepard?

  And when did you start skiing?

• 47:08Speaker 05

  Well, I skied when I was fourteen and then started snowboarding a couple of years later. And it was crazy that he dated a snowboarder because everyone's like, it's very incestuous and they all date each other. But then I broke the mold and now I'm skiing again because we have kids and it sucks.

• 47:25Dax Shepard?

  I switched two years ago from snowboarding after forty years of it back to skiing. It's so much easier.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  It is.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Sorry, Alex.

• 47:34Dax Shepard?

  It's not to be great, just like you're not fucking unstrapping and strapping back in. You can be on flat ground, you don't care.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, it hurts a lot less and it's easier on our aging bodies.

• 47:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Well, it's so nice meeting you guys.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  Nice to meet both of you.

• 47:47Speaker 05

  Thank you. Yeah, you as well. This has been so fun. Thanks for sharing the time. And Dex, your chair looks a lot more comfortable than I pictured.

• 47:55Dax Shepard?

  People get worried because it's not a proper lazy boy, but it's plenty comfortable.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  Mine's only okay, if I'm being honest.

• 48:02Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  I could add a little cushion back here, you know? Yeah, a little cush.

• 48:07Dax Shepard?

  All right, y'all. Well, have a great summer up there. I hope it's a beautiful one for you.

• 48:11Speaker 05

  Thank you so much. Thank you as well. Well, thank you.

• 48:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, take care.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Okay, well, that was wild.

• 48:17Dax Shepard?

  Love you. That was wild and cardi.

• 48:21Speaker 07

  Do you want to sing a tune or something? We know the theme song.

• 48:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of Armcherry's, we'll get some suggestions. On the fire, Rhyme Dish, on the fire, Rhyme Dish, enjoy.