Armchair Anonymous: Halloween II

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a time something crazy happened on Halloween. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  We have our second go around of scary Halloween story.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Halloween time.

• 0:12Dax Shepard?

  Not all scary per se, but definitely all Halloween for sure. There's stabbings.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Well, then that's scary.

• 0:20Dax Shepard?

  That is scary. There's pranks.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  Scary. If you ask me, pranks are scary.

• 0:25Dax Shepard?

  And there's vehicular injuries.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Scary. Turns out they're all scary.

• 0:30Dax Shepard?

  Everything's on the table and Halloween part two, please enjoy. We get support from Quince.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 0:46Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers. Give me the boots. Give me a reason to wear something other than a T-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up and everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories. They skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 1:27Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time and he looks iconic.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  It's a uniform. And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 1:55Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that too.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs. So the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop, cold water every morning before anything else.

• 2:44Dax Shepard?

  AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotic, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.

• 3:02Dax Shepard?

  It's an easy, everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know, mm, I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.

• 3:19Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega three fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax. And after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Expert sent you.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  For people who don't know, we're on YouTube now.

• 4:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  For this show, just our reactions.

• 4:11Dax Shepard?

  At us. It's created a whole new round of insecurities for us.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Oh, sure. I know.

• 4:16Dax Shepard?

  Just when you think that you get used to everything, no, it's just going to be filmed listening.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  But if you want to see a really cute Halloween pumpkin, flirty pumpkin.

• 4:25Dax Shepard?

  Flirty pumpkin.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  You can.

• 4:27Dax Shepard?

  Mrs. Pumpkin.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Here's our anonymous first caller.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 4:30Dax Shepard?

  I'm going to call him Brian, no matter what. There'll be no debate.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:33Dax Shepard?

  Even if he looks like a elephant and you want to call him.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Brian is the name of the wedding that they went to and nobody wants this. The wedding.

• 4:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes. Hello, can you hear us?

• 4:44Speaker 03

  I can hear you. Can you hear me?

• 4:46Dax Shepard?

  Listen, this was decided before we connected with you. We've already assigned Brian to you.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Sounds good.

• 4:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay. But I'm not disappointed with the pick.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Either am I. I think it's accurate.

• 4:55Dax Shepard?

  It's not terribly incongruous.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  You like me as Brian? Okay.

• 4:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brian, where are you in America?

• 5:02Speaker 03

  I am in Canada, actually, on the east coast.

• 5:05Dax Shepard?

  East coast of Canada. We do a lot of west coast of Canada.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  I like them all.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  It's the best coast.

• 5:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And are you close to Toronto at all?

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Not at all. Way Easter.

• 5:14Dax Shepard?

  Wow. Okay, okay. So you have a Halloween story.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  I do. I have a Halloween story. We're going to go all the way back to 1999, uh, when life was simpler.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:25Dax Shepard?

  27 years ago.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Wow. Good fast math.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. So 1999, I'm in my first year of university. Go away to university, not far, like two hour drive away and small university town, like maybe max 5,000 people.

• 5:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh my goodness, including students.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Including students. Yeah. Small town, has a very New Englandy town feel actually, but east coast of Canada. Anyway, it's Halloween weekend and been there for about seven weeks, starting to meet lots of people. In the first week I got there, I met the best person who was like the fake ID guy. And he was the guy who was able to produce these amazing fake IDs, but they were just for the campus bar, not good anywhere else.

• 6:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  So I had like all my details, just a year off. In Canada, you can get 19. So it said I was 19 and not 18.

• 6:14Dax Shepard?

  How strict are they? I feel like if once you're at 19 and people are at college.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Random age.

• 6:20Dax Shepard?

  Not that 21 is much less random, right?

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Why are they? What? It should be 18 or 20.

• 6:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Do you think you get carded more in the US or more in Canada?

• 6:30Speaker 03

  I would guess more in the US, but I don't know. I mean, I looked probably 25 at the time anyway.

• 6:37Dax Shepard?

  You still do. You've held firm.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  I've looked this age for a while. We decide, you know, it's Halloween. We're going to go out, a bunch of people we've met in our residence. Obviously the only place we can go is the campus bar or like drink in our room. So we're going to the campus bar. We're all dressed up. I'm dressed up as a sailor, but picture like old timey, white military sailor kind of thing.

• 7:00Dax Shepard?

  The famous kiss with the woman in Times Square look.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Go to the bar, have a great time, meet new people, actually end up meeting this nice lady. She's dressed as a hooker.

• 7:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, great.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Like that's what she was going as?

• 7:14Dax Shepard?

  That was a popular costume in 99.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  I just want to make sure it's like, that's what she was going as, not that's what she was dressed like.

• 7:20Dax Shepard?

  Nurse.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  She wasn't a hooker, but she was going as a hooker, picture like Julia Roberts.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:26Dax Shepard?

  Fishnets.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Great costume.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  And so we're hanging out, we're, you know, getting lots of drinks into us. And in that bar, the, the move to like meet someone was you could get $5 pitchers, but you didn't get the beer pitchers. You got like the rum and Coke pitcher. And so you'd like walk up to someone and have an extra straw and that was the move in.

• 7:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  We're sharing drinks, having a good time. We end up finding out we're from the same hometown and we actually know someone in common and we bonded over that.

• 7:52Dax Shepard?

  It's blowing your mind, even though you're two hours from home, but at that age, you're like, no way.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  It's still Sam.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  We love this person. She's awesome. Campus bar closed early, like 12 o'clock. We're like, we are not done partying. This night is not over. And we leave the bar together and we're like, we have the best idea. We're going to go home. We're going to get two hours away and continue this party.

• 8:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Two hours away in the, in the city. It's a bigger city. It's a big party city. We're going to get home and we're like, well, we can't drive and we don't have cars. So the only natural way to get there is hitchhike.

• 8:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay, two hours.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  In this like small little pitch dark town.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  And we do it. We walk up to the highway, maybe 15 minute walk, thumbs are out and we're like, this is going to happen.

• 8:36Dax Shepard?

  This girl's a party. I mean, she's really down for an adventure.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  She just also maybe trusts you a lot.

• 8:41Dax Shepard?

  She's hitchhiking in a hooker outfit.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  And within five minutes, I'm gonna guess a trucker pulls his rig over.

• 8:49Dax Shepard?

  How could he not? Yeah.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Now, was he a trucker? Was he just dressed up as a trucker?

• 8:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, rented a semi?

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Hard to know. He was in a huge ass truck. So I'm gonna guess sprint over to the trucker, whip open the door and he looks at us with those like complete shocked look. He's like, what's happening? And we're like, thank you so much for pulling over and getting us. He's like, oh, I didn't see you. I was just pulling over to fix something on my truck.

• 9:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  But then he was like, well, where are you going? We're like, here's where we're going. He's like, yes, get in. I'm gonna take you there.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  I'm gonna drive you two hours away.

• 9:25Dax Shepard?

  Because there's a very young girl dressed as a hooker, Monica.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  This is horrible. Oh, my God.

• 9:30Dax Shepard?

  One guy's not gonna prefer to have that as a companion. He's probably already taken some northern route. Okay.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  We get in the truck. He drives us and we probably, I'm gonna guess, like pass out, fall asleep. Remember waking up. Yeah, this is the nineties. Remember, everything's safe.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  That is true. That is true.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  We wake up and he's literally like downtown in this city, like not letting us out on the outskirts. He's down. He's like, time to get up and we get out. And this was also the night where they moved the time back. So it was probably like actual two thirty, but now one thirty. So

• 10:03Dax Shepard?

  blessing.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  Like two hours of party and the bars are open till three thirty.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  We're in our hooker and sailor outfit. Downtown has got this awesome Halloween vibe. We get to the closest bar, get ready to go in and the bouncer's like, oh, you know, gotta see your IDs. We pull out our fake student IDs and he's like, yeah, this is not gonna work. We're not gonna be letting you guys in here.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  So we just, in that moment, realized this was a bad idea. We're doing nothing now and we're eighteen home and we're still at the age where like scared of our parents. So we can't like call our parents. Be like, hey, we're not at school. We're home. So we're like, what are we gonna do? We also realized we only have five dollars.

• 10:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. This is a great plan.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  Cause we're students. So we're like, what are we gonna do? The only thing we could think of in the moment was go to Subway, get a sub, cause you know, that's what you do with five bucks.

• 10:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  We go to their Subway and then we're kinda like, oh, you know what we should do? We should call the mutual friend.

• 11:01Dax Shepard?

  Yes, for sure.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Maybe she can help us. And we had probably fifty cents left and no cell phones. This is like payphone all the way. Go to the payphone. I don't know how we knew her number, but somehow we did. We get connected with her.

• 11:12Dax Shepard?

  You call her house at presumably two AM.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, two AM, her home phone. She answers and she's like, yes, come on over, but I'm drunk, obviously. So I can't come get you. But you get here, you can stay with me. Absolutely. So we're like, perfect. Then we're like, but how do we get there? We don't have any money. But like, hey, hitchhiking just worked.

• 11:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Two hours. It's gotta work for like twenty minutes. So we walk like a block over to like the street before getting into the bar district, which is not a great hitchhiking street at all. Throw out the thumbs and within thirty seconds sirens, police come. They're like, what are you doing? And like the worst criminals ever, we like spill the beans. We're like, we got these fake IDs, you know, we don't know what to do. We got no money. We're trying to get this girl's house and the cops just staring at us. And then when we stop, he just like laughs in our face. And he's like, okay, this isn't gonna get busy downtown with Halloween shenanigans for like at least an hour. I'm gonna drive you to her house.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  You have to swear that you will do this one thing for me. And we're like, all right. It's like, you have to take this friend out to breakfast in the morning. And we're like, yeah, deal.

• 12:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we have no money, but okay.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Drive us to her place. We kinda get him to let us out like the house before, cause we're, again, we're like, we don't want her parents to see us. We kinda sneak in the backyard, get in the house. She's awesome. She's up. She's still wanting to party. We have a couple more drinks and then like pass out, fall asleep, thought of nothing else. Now, meanwhile, back in university, people don't know where we are. There's no like GPS or Snapchat maps or anything. They're just like, these people who we don't think know each other. Where'd they go?

• 12:52Dax Shepard?

  Her friends are terrified. She disappeared with a sailor. Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, hundred percent. My roommate's like, oh, he probably like picked up a girl, like all good. High five, actually. And thinks nothing of it, goes to bed. Her roommate is like worried. And in the morning, the roommate's like extra worried to the point where she goes to like campus police and they get like the resident parents involved. There's a whole campus wide search. And then my roommate kinda clues in. He's like, actually, he's missing too. We don't know what's going on. And there's mass search for these people who are missing.

• 13:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Back to the friend's house. We sleep in. It's like lunchtime. We missed breakfast, but we're like, we're gonna take you to lunch. I realized I actually had like my ATM card on me the whole time at this time. She's awesome. She's like, I'm gonna drive you back to school. We stop at like one of those gas station diners on the way up, continue on to school and arrive to like mass panic at about four o'clock.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Everybody wondering where we are and we just kinda stroll in, still dressed as the hooker and the sailor. We had no other clothes. And that's basically it. Like, that's the time we went missing for the day.

• 14:02Dax Shepard?

  Did you guys kiss that night or anything? Was there any romance?

• 14:05Speaker 03

  No, there wasn't. Um, and I think I missed all the signals in my drunken stupor. There definitely could have been.

• 14:12Dax Shepard?

  That was probably a blessing though, cause you guys would be a terrible couple together. You'd like go on vacation with that. Yeah, no one would have packed for vacation.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  It's not a meet cute, unfortunately, Monica. I haven't seen her in probably twenty years, but I did meet my wife at university and we've been married for twenty one years.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  Okay, that's good. That's a happy ending.

• 14:32Dax Shepard?

  There wasn't meet cute at college after all. Did you guys stay buddies or just have that night and that was it?

• 14:38Speaker 03

  Through definitely like the next two years, living in residence. She actually lived in the residence that I lived in. I just hadn't met her. So we were buds for sure. And then, you know, stayed in touch probably during the rest of school.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  I wonder if your wife was like really excited to meet you, cause you were like the guy that went missing at school.

• 14:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, the bad boy.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Dating that bad guy.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  An air of mystery for sure.

• 14:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, naughty sailor. I wanna meet this naughty sailor. Brian, it's delightful to meet you and I'm glad you survived that excursion.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I appreciate it. Big fans. My wife and I have been fans since the beginning and I didn't tell her about this, so she's gonna listen to this episode like in a couple of weeks.

• 15:15Dax Shepard?

  And what's her name?

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Her name is Katie. So that's her real name.

• 15:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, shout out to Katie.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Shout out Katie.

• 15:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Surprise.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Surprise. Shout out. Happy Halloween.

• 15:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. All right. Well, take care, brother.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  See you later.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  All right, bye.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  You know, it's interesting. Bad boy and bad guy are much different thing.

• 15:37Dax Shepard?

  Are both in the Billie Eilish song. You're a bad guy. He's Mr. Tough Guy.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  I don't think it's bad guy.

• 15:44Dax Shepard?

  It's Tough Guy or something. Oh, yeah. But that's right. Yeah, I think I agree with you.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:48Dax Shepard?

  A bad guy is not good, right?

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Right. And a bad boy is naughty in a maybe good way.

• 15:53Dax Shepard?

  Might be fun.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Or a bad way. Who knows? Question mark.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  The lyric is, I'm the bad guy. Duh, I'm the bad guy.

• 15:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I'm the bad guy.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  So you're a tough guy, like a really rough guy, just can't get enough guy, chest's always so puffed guy.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Wow. Okay, so she's talking about a mean guy then.

• 16:11Dax Shepard?

  Guy, guy.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 16:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Oh, there's crazy noise. These noises sound like a Blair Witch.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 16:25Dax Shepard?

  We can't see you.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Oh, there you are.

• 16:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 16:29Dax Shepard?

  There we go.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 16:32Dax Shepard?

  Hi. It sounded like you were in a snowstorm and then just your voice.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Blair Witch.

• 16:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  I like your pumpkin.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Thank you. Thank you for noticing. I brought her here just for today's event.

• 16:44Dax Shepard?

  I don't know if you can see, but she's flirty.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:46Dax Shepard?

  Jenna, I was asking you where you're at and are you with a musician?

• 16:50Speaker 04

  I am. I am in Brooklyn, New York.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Oh, I was just there. I miss it.

• 16:56Speaker 04

  It's peak weather. I love it.

• 16:59Dax Shepard?

  You're not from there, cause you're too excited to be there, to be from there. Is that true?

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Well, I'm from New Jersey.

• 17:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. How far away?

• 17:06Speaker 04

  I'm closer to Philadelphia, where I grew up.

• 17:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you're like a couple hours from Manhattan?

• 17:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, like two hours.

• 17:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. And how long have you been in Brooklyn?

• 17:14Speaker 04

  Four and a half years.

• 17:16Dax Shepard?

  Who's the musician? I see a reel to reel machine. I see a piano, guitars.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  My boyfriend owns a music studio.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 17:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. And this is overflow?

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Yes. I have a full team here with me. There's multiple backup.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 17:31Dax Shepard?

  Wonderful.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  We'd love this.

• 17:40Dax Shepard?

  This episode is supported by Helix.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Dax, is there anything better than crawling into a perfect bed on a cold fall night? Candlelit, hoodie on, maybe even some rain outside. The dream.

• 17:54Dax Shepard?

  That's the dream. You just described one of my ideal fall nights.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  I know. And thanks to Helix, my bed actually lives up to the vibe. All I had to do was take the Helix Sleep Quiz and within two minutes, they matched me to a mattress built for exactly how I sleep. I have a midnight mattress. It also has cooling technology, which I really

• 18:14Dax Shepard?

  Increasingly so.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  I need it. I have to have it. And I heard that you're supposed to sleep at a cold temp optimal sleep. It's very, very helpful.

• 18:25Dax Shepard?

  She is not wrong. I have one too, and it's been such a game changer for sleep. And I love that they make it so easy. Free shipping right to your door. And with their happy with Helix guarantee, you'll get a full 365 nights to try it. A whole year to live in that cozy. They've got over 20 mattress models, so no matter how you sleep, they've got one for you.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  And it's not just us saying it. Helix has been named the most awarded mattress brand by Forbes, Wired, and more. You gotta try it for yourself.

• 18:52Dax Shepard?

  Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off sitewide. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off sitewide. helixsleep.com/armchair. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace, and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skillset, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours. But at some point, you're

• 19:33Dax Shepard?

  ready to put it out there. And that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built-in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from, I've been working on this, to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to squarespace.com/dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We get support from Scottsdale, Arizona. Monica, with summer ending or heading into

• 20:16Dax Shepard?

  fall, I've been researching a nice, quick getaway location, and I keep coming back to Scottsdale, Arizona.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Ooh, Scottsdale's good. What's drawing you to it?

• 20:24Dax Shepard?

  Well, first of all, I have this wonderful memory of going there as a kid, when I'd go see my stepdad when he was working out there. The weather is perfect in fall. Warm, sunny, no humidity. And you can really do whatever you want with your time there. I want to do a sunrise hike through the Sonoran Desert, be surrounded by Sowaro, and then at the same afternoon, just completely melt into a spa treatment at one of their luxury resorts.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Oh, that sounds amazing. I want to do that. Also, I was there visiting my brother once, and I loved Old Town Scottsdale. It's so walkable. They have galleries and cute little restaurants and shops. The food scene alone is worth the trip.

• 21:03Dax Shepard?

  What I keep reading is that it's luxurious, but not stuffy. There's no pressure to do it a certain way. You can explore public art, check out the architecture, go off-roading in the desert, or just sit and watch a sunset.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  It really is the perfect fall reset.

• 21:17Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about all Scottsdale has to offer at unwindinscottsdale.com. Thank you to our presenting sponsor, HP, for supporting this episode. Their HP Smart Tank printer is the last printer you'll ever need. Oh, here we go, Monica. With a refillable ink tank and up to three years of ink included, so you get thousands of pages of cartridge-free printing. Hallelujah. To learn more, search for HP Smart Tank.

• 21:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you have a Halloween story with photos, no less.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  I do. We'll save the photos to the end. So my story takes place in 2016. I was a sophomore at the University of Delaware. I was living off campus in a townhouse. So like a three-story townhouse, and there was six of us living there. It was the Friday of Halloween weekend. We were throwing a party at our house that night. And my roommate and best friend to this day, Amanda, we were up on the third floor getting our costumes ready. But for whatever reason, we were not really into the party that was happening that night. But we were pretty solely focused on the day that was happening the next day.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  What's the day?

• 22:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, tell us what a day is.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  At the University of Delaware, we call day parties, days for like day rage.

• 22:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful. A day.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  It was a day. So we were making our costumes up on the third floor for the party the next day, while all of our roommates and some friends were downstairs drinking, getting ready for Friday's party. Our costumes for the next day, Amanda was being Chick-fil-A nuggets.

• 23:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  And I was being Chick-fil-A sauce.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Polynesian?

• 23:17Speaker 04

  What is that?

• 23:17Dax Shepard?

  That's their standard sauce.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  It's a really good sauce.

• 23:20Dax Shepard?

  It's maybe not their standard sauce.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  It's one of. They have honey mustard. They have Polynesian. They have ketchup.

• 23:25Dax Shepard?

  Chick-fil-A sauce, right?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Chick-fil-A sauce too, I think must be what you and us.

• 23:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, probably. That would make the most sense.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  I mean, I hope it wasn't Polynesian, because if so, my whole memory is incorrect.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  They're probably not supposed to have that anymore. But yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay. So we were making our costumes out of a Styrofoam board, which kind of looks like construction paper, but it's much thicker. And Amanda's costume as the nuggets, she was the box. So she had a piece of Styrofoam board in the front, a piece in the back, and then she needed half a piece on either side. And then me for the sauce, I had a piece on the front, a piece on the back, and then held together by like two strings. But if you picture a Chick-fil-A sauce packet, they're the ones that are like a square.

• 24:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and you peel the top off.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  So you can dip. And a very important detail is that the bottom of the sauce packet is slightly smaller than the top of the sauce packet. And these costumes had to be proportionally accurate.

• 24:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  I understand why.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  So we needed to cut the Styrofoam board. Amanda needed to cut one piece in half. I needed to cut the back of mine. But Styrofoam board is a little too thick to cut with scissors. So we were using knives.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Sure. Kitchen knives?

• 24:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, X-acto blades or kitchen knives.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  So Amanda was using a steak knife, like a serrated steak knife. And I was using the biggest knife in your kitchen.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Chef.

• 24:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  She's thick, order a chicken, probably from Ikea, very blunt. There's six girls using it on the daily. So I'm up on my knees, we're sawing. I remember Amanda saying like, oh, I keep poking myself. We're like, oh. But we're sawing and sawing and rushing and rushing. And then all of a sudden, I just slip and stab myself in the thigh.

• 25:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my gosh, with an enormous chef's knife. Oh, fuck.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Cooking is dangerous.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  I do. I know exactly how it happened. And I've been arguing this for a long time, especially with shout out Eric Richardson. He fights me on this all the time because a dull knife is extremely dangerous. It's way more dangerous than a sharp knife because of this. You're like, you start sawing.

• 25:42Dax Shepard?

  You get a rambunctious.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Yes. And then you stab yourself in the thigh, exactly as you did.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  I immediately dropped the knife and put my hands on my leg. And I go, Amanda, I think I stabbed myself.

• 25:55Dax Shepard?

  Can I ask what you were wearing?

• 25:56Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:58Dax Shepard?

  No, I need to know if it went in a bare leg with a skirt or through denim or what?

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Did you deserve it?

• 26:05Dax Shepard?

  Were you asking it for it?

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, agree. Were you wearing like shorts?

• 26:09Speaker 04

  I was wearing flannel pajama pants.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Oh, too thin.

• 26:12Dax Shepard?

  Very thin, yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  May as well have been wearing something.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Were you guys drinking?

• 26:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Another question that's bad.

• 26:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  My father doesn't believe that we couldn't possibly have been drinking, but we were not.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  So I dropped the knife. I say I stabbed myself. I take my hands back and lo and behold, this knife has gone about an inch and a half into my thigh.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Ew, is it stuck there?

• 26:37Speaker 04

  No, just like.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  Oh, you pulled it out. Okay.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  I'm a pretty small girl. And back then, I was even smaller. So that's like a significant portion of my leg.

• 26:46Dax Shepard?

  Halfway through.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like kind of a lot. Amanda, love her to death, really bad in a crisis, runs away.

• 26:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  Runs downstairs, and lots of people come upstairs. So one roommate is calling 911. One roommate is a health science major, so she is obviously in charge. She starts applying pressure, but it is not bleeding. You can almost see the blood running underneath.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  Ew.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  And I'm, don't feel anything at this point.

• 27:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Full shock.

• 27:17Dax Shepard?

  Well, knife cuts don't hurt really that bad. I've had a bunch of them.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  I beg to differ.

• 27:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  I had a bad one on my finger once.

• 27:24Dax Shepard?

  It hurt when you looked at it, though, right?

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Well.

• 27:26Dax Shepard?

  It doesn't really hurt when it happens, shockingly.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  That depends.

• 27:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay, sorry.

• 27:30Speaker 04

  She's applying pressure. We get my friend Sammy under my arms, another friend with my legs. Now we gotta get down those three flights of stairs in the townhouse. Amanda gets in the car. The health science major is on the floor of the car applying pressure. I am in the backseat. We're driving to the hospital. At this point, it didn't hurt. I was making a Chick-fil-A sauce costume. So the whole thing was like, pretty funny.

• 27:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, of course.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  You're in college too, so things are funnier.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  And we get to the emergency room. Amanda goes running inside. It's like, help, help, my roommate stabbed herself. So the cops come over. They all come out to the car expecting either A, somebody really unwell who has just stabbed themselves, or B, a really gruesome scene. But they just open the door and I'm like, hi.

• 28:18Dax Shepard?

  The health science majors saying hi from the floorboards. Hi, officers.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  So this is about 10:00 PM that we get to the emergency room. Now, in retrospect, and PSA, I should have made a scene.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Oh, cautionary tale.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  I should have been like, oh, my God, I have been stabbed.

• 28:38Dax Shepard?

  It hurts.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  You say words like, ouch.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  It, it hurts.

• 28:42Dax Shepard?

  Peek-a-boo.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  Ow.

• 28:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  Amanda and I are in the emergency room until four o'clock in the morning.

• 28:51Dax Shepard?

  It's still not bleeding? Is it even bleeding at this point?

• 28:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  What? That's so weird.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  I actually looked it up yesterday because I never had before and it said that it must have just gone around the major arteries.

• 29:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  So lucky, but we finally get someone in at four o'clock in the morning. We quickly find out that it is his first ever night shift as a resident.

• 29:17Dax Shepard?

  He's coming from a party at a three story townhouse.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  He's enjoying his Halloween weekend.

• 29:23Speaker 04

  And I am at this point, pretty drugged up. Adult Swim was on the TV. Don't know why, but very clear memories.

• 29:30Dax Shepard?

  You're in heaven. You're on drugs watching Adult Swim.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Big chilling.

• 29:34Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  So poor Amanda is not on drugs and is just experiencing this sober. And we have a video of him doing the stitches and literally like.

• 29:45Dax Shepard?

  He's shaking. Oh, boy.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Like no other. So, I mean, quick fast forward to now, the scar, because of the way it was stitched and they only stitched it at the top, they should have stitched it in like multiple parts.

• 29:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  So it kind of healed like a circle.

• 30:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Like a bubble?

• 30:03Speaker 04

  I guess, maybe like scar tissue.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe Dax can get it with his hyperflectors.

• 30:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Two thousand.

• 30:09Dax Shepard?

  My hypercater two thousand. Yeah, yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  Cause it sounds like a hyperplasia now.

• 30:15Dax Shepard?

  Or hypo.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  That would be my dream. But it throbs anytime it's gonna rain, anytime I'm getting my period.

• 30:26Dax Shepard?

  Whoa.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  Weird.

• 30:27Speaker 04

  It's chronic throbbing.

• 30:29Dax Shepard?

  What am I about to see in these pictures?

• 30:31Speaker 04

  So we wrap up at the hospital. We get back at probably like six o'clock in the morning, take basically a power nap, get up the next day and.

• 30:40Dax Shepard?

  You have your day.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  We've got finished costumes to wear.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  Oh, college.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  I can't walk, so we go to the CVS in the hopes of finding a cane, but the cane was forty dollars. I didn't have forty dollars, but I did have five dollars, which is how much a roll of wrapping paper cost.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 31:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, so you used the tube as support. Creative.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Yep, got one of those and partied the whole next day with my stab wound freshly stitched.

• 31:11Dax Shepard?

  You're lucky you didn't get an infection. This is one of these stories that we get about mysterious infections.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Did they put on an antibiotic or anything?

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Probably.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Probably, yeah.

• 31:20Dax Shepard?

  I would guess.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  But did it work? I mean.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  I, there's no way to know.

• 31:24Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so the photos I'm gonna see are of the danger or the, let's see.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  There's three.

• 31:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you guys, I don't know what your expectations of the costume were, but it's way better than you would have expected.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  Really good.

• 31:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's very professional.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Especially the sauce is really good. It even has the ingredients list.

• 31:44Dax Shepard?

  No, it looks like you guys laser printed it. It's so good.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, hand painted. Thank you so much.

• 31:49Dax Shepard?

  Here is the butcher's knife. And yeah, it looks like a cheapie. It looks like a three ninety nine knife.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  You can see my leg juice on the knife.

• 31:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, leg juice. Okay, and now here is the wound, Monica, and it's significant. I would say it's bigger than I was expecting.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Ew.

• 32:06Dax Shepard?

  It's hard to imagine you didn't feel that or weren't in a ton of pain.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  You're right. It's not bleeding, but you can see the blood in there. That's strange.

• 32:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  I hate this.

• 32:16Dax Shepard?

  What do you think that looks like, Monica?

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Um.

• 32:20Dax Shepard?

  Hold it the other way.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  If you hold like, this looks like an eye.

• 32:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, hold it vertically. I haven't said anything. I'm just wondering what you think it looks like if you hold it vertically.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  We said that to the doctor in the emergency room.

• 32:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I mean, it looks a hundred percent like you have a new vagina on your thigh.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  So is it shaped like that now, your scar, like, kinda like an eye?

• 32:40Speaker 04

  Not quite so thick because they stitched the skin together.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Because they only stitched the top layer, when they took the stitches out, it did start to reopen.

• 32:49Dax Shepard?

  Oh, cause all that meat inside needed to be put together.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Ugh.

• 32:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's fucking deep.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  This needed a lot of layers.

• 32:55Dax Shepard?

  I think you might be being conservative on an inch and a half.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:58Dax Shepard?

  Unless they dropped a measuring tape in there.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  This is horrible.

• 33:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let me look at it again.

• 33:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I mean, you guys.

• 33:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Uh, wow, wow, wow, wow. Unexpected wound. What if the prompt was, tells about.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Unexpected wound that looks like a vagina. Very specific.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  Thank you so much for having us. This is so fun.

• 33:22Dax Shepard?

  All right, take care.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Happy Halloween.

• 33:23Dax Shepard?

  Yes, happy Halloween. Hi, Sophie. How are you?

• 33:29Speaker 05

  I'm good. How are you guys?

• 33:31Dax Shepard?

  Good. Where are you?

• 33:32Speaker 05

  I'm in Russell, Ontario, just about thirty minutes east of Ottawa.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  Ooh, another Canadian.

• 33:38Dax Shepard?

  Second Canadian of the day. Yeah. Okay, so Sophie, you have a Halloween story for us.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  I do, yeah. So this actually takes place in Guelph, Ontario, so that's about an hour east of Toronto.

• 33:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay, closer to the ocean.

• 33:51Speaker 05

  Sorry, west, west of Toronto.

• 33:52Dax Shepard?

  West of Toronto. Okay, okay.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  Means nothing to me and everything to Dax.

• 33:56Dax Shepard?

  Everything to me, yeah.

• 33:58Speaker 05

  I'm not as good as Dax in my geography, so. This was back in twenty fifteen and I was in my second year university at the University of Guelph there. I also played on the women's hockey varsity team. It was my second year as well.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 34:11Speaker 05

  Halloween was on a Saturday that year and we had a rule throughout the year that we cannot drink or party forty eight hours before any games. Of course, we still want to do something for Halloween on our second year university, so we decided like, let's stay in, let's have some snacks and let's watch some scary movies.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Oh, that's fun. I like that.

• 34:30Dax Shepard?

  Do you think everyone on the team abided by this edict or were you guys unique that you were following these rules?

• 34:37Speaker 05

  I think most teams tend to do this, maybe different hours, maybe like the night before. Some decided like if there was a practice on Thursday, they would say no more drinking after Wednesday. So for us, our night out was actually Monday nights because it's the only time we really could drink.

• 34:52Dax Shepard?

  Wow, you guys were really toeing the line.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  We decided to stay in and we were at our townhouse. And if you're familiar with townhouses, just a bunch of houses connected together. And then our specific unit, the living room was in the back and we had a patio sliding door that had a balcony kind of overlooking. And then the basement door was beside the living room and the basement stairs curled around, so you couldn't see straight down.

• 35:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. Scary already.

• 35:20Speaker 05

  And then there is a bedroom down there with another patio door and then like a walkout basement. So basically this main floor was the second floor.

• 35:27Dax Shepard?

  Roger.

• 35:28Speaker 05

  We're starting to get cozy. We're getting our snacks. We're putting on a movie and then our teammate Steph decided to put on the movie The Strangers.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  I don't know that.

• 35:37Dax Shepard?

  Is that with Liv Tyler?

• 35:38Speaker 05

  Yes, it is.

• 35:39Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and Scott Speedman. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 35:41Dax Shepard?

  I worked with her and she had literally come from that movie when I worked with her.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Weird.

• 35:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  What's it about?

• 35:47Speaker 05

  Intruders.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:49Dax Shepard?

  Perfect.

• 35:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, so we're watching this and then a good like twenty minutes into the movie, we're getting a bit scared and then one of the big scary scenes happens and then the power goes out.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 35:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  Of course, we're a bunch of girls and I forgot to mention, the majority of our teammates are there watching it with us. We probably had like twenty two girls on our team and I think about sixteen of us were watching it.

• 36:09Dax Shepard?

  Whoa, you're really stacked in on each other there.

• 36:12Speaker 05

  Oh, yes, for sure. We are sitting on the floor. We're watching this movie and then, yeah, the power goes out. We just get scared immediately and scream. We're like, what's going on? And then, of course, we calm down a bit. We've realized just a power outage, things happens, let's see what's going on. But then because of the townhouse, we're connected with other houses. So we can hear, because it's Halloween, all the music around us. So the house right next door to us still has a party going on.

• 36:38Dax Shepard?

  Clearly has power.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Weird.

• 36:39Speaker 05

  Clearly has power. And again, we try to confirm this. We go outside and it's, again, the townhouse is kind of like its own little separate subdivision, I guess. So we walk out and we see every single light is on, except for ours.

• 36:51Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 36:53Speaker 05

  At this point, we're getting a bit more scared figuring out what's going on. And my teammate, Loi, who lived in the bedroom downstairs, she says, I'll go check it out. She doesn't get scared of anything, so we're like, for sure, we go. And she said, I'll go check out the electrical panel. She's kind of like the handyman of our house. She was like, I'll go downstairs and check the utility room. And all we hear from our perspective is her going down the stairs and then just running back upstairs.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 37:19Speaker 05

  And then she looked like visibly frightened.

• 37:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 37:22Speaker 05

  So at this point, we're all scared because if she's scared, we should be scared. And then she tells us, she says, the utility room door is open, which it's never open.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 37:32Speaker 05

  It's always closed.

• 37:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 37:34Speaker 05

  So at this point, we're kind of obviously getting more freaked out. We're trying to think of like different options. I don't think it's any of our teammates, because the majority of them are here. All of our friends who are not on the team obviously are out partying, having fun right now.

• 37:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  So at this point, we're thinking, there could be somebody in the house that we don't know about. And at this point, Monica, you think that we would call nine one one, right?

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Yes, I've been, I've been holding my tongue.

• 37:57Speaker 05

  I understand the people who don't. They just are such in denial as to what's really happening.

• 38:08Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by HP. My mental to do list is already full. Uh, fix something around the house, refill prescriptions, remember to text someone back, keep track of a million little life things. The last thing I want on that list is, oh, don't forget printering.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  No, it's horrible.

• 38:25Dax Shepard?

  It's the bane of everyone's existence. What if you could just take that off your list for years?

• 38:30Speaker 01

  The dream.

• 38:31Dax Shepard?

  That's the idea behind the HP Smart Tank printer from America's most trusted printer brand. Instead of those tiny cartridges that always seem to run out at the worst time, the HP Smart Tank uses a refillable ink tank and it comes with up to three years of ink included. It's built to be simple. The easiest tank printer you'll ever use with the best print quality, period. It's the last printer you'll ever need. I've definitely been in this situation where something that should take two minutes turns into a whole thing. Like I need to print tickets and get out the door, but then I realize I'm out of ink and have to deal with it right then. With the HP Smart Tank, that's just not something you're dealing with all the time. It's one of those things that just works when you need it to. If you want to take one more thing off your mental to do list, search

• 39:15Dax Shepard?

  for HP Smart Tank. We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff, but there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends. Docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly is different. It's already right there. Inside your email, your docs, your browser, you don't go to it. It's already working alongside you. You're deep in a long thread, highlight

• 39:57Dax Shepard?

  it, and it pulls the key points. About to send something important? It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands. It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission

• 40:41Dax Shepard?

  to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment, or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  You know, I love therapy more than anything. Gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.

• 41:11Dax Shepard?

  You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it. And I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds once it's out into the world. You gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 41:27Dax Shepard?

  If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Do yourself a favor and just try it. Future you will be grateful. Visit betterhelp.com/dax to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash DAX.

• 42:02Speaker 05

  So we get lowway to go back downstairs because none of us could go back down to figure out, we have to figure out what's going on.

• 42:08Dax Shepard?

  Did you give her a hockey stick?

• 42:09Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Honestly, that would have been a good idea.

• 42:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I imagine they're everywhere in this house.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  She was like the best player on our team too. So she definitely would have taken them out.

• 42:17Dax Shepard?

  Put her in the goalie's outfits so she can't even get hurt.

• 42:21Speaker 05

  I think we're just thinking quickly of like, we need to figure out what's happening. And then she starts going down the stairs. And at this point, because as I mentioned earlier, the stairs that curl around, you don't see right down. So she curled around the stairs and all she saw was a hooded figure wearing a mask and holding a knife.

• 42:38Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 42:41Speaker 05

  And at this point, of course, she's running upstairs and she says, there is someone down there and they have a knife.

• 42:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 42:47Speaker 05

  They're just standing there. So we didn't hear anything after that. And she comes back upstairs, obviously very scared. And then our other teammate Val decides to dial 911, but she doesn't press to do the, the call. She basically says like, we're threatening them with, I'm going to call the cops right now if you don't leave.

• 43:03Dax Shepard?

  You're trying to evaluate a little bit. This could be a prank. Like you don't want your friend to go to jail or get the cops involved for a prank. You would.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, they should go to jail for that.

• 43:13Speaker 05

  So we don't want that. And then at the same time, it's like, but I also don't want to get killed on Halloween. Like, we're just trying to figure out what's our best options here. So we're just waiting there. And obviously at this point, we're scared. We can't really run to go to the front door because it's passing the basement door.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  I was wondering this. I was like, why are you guys still in there?

• 43:31Dax Shepard?

  It's like a movie already.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. Like get out of there.

• 43:34Dax Shepard?

  Textbook.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Although I think you're not supposed to get out in the movie, right? They always leave the house and then that's worse.

• 43:40Dax Shepard?

  Well, one person goes solo, then they're fucked. But you go as a whole gaggle.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  As a team, we kind of have to stick together, right? We go by the patio door in the back. And then all we hear just like slow footsteps coming up the stairs.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  What the hell?

• 43:55Speaker 05

  And then just like a little bit faster, not necessarily running, just like more faster and faster. And then at this point, we're just kind of by the patio door. We have it open and we're like, we don't know what to do at this point. And then the basement door just slowly opens and not one, but two people standing there with masks, holding knives.

• 44:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy. Okay. These are some naughty girls from the team that didn't make it to the sleepover.

• 44:20Speaker 05

  And we're just standing there and we're looking at them. And I swear, it was probably like 10 minutes has gone by. I just silenced staring with them, holding their knives. It probably was of course a second or so before we started screaming and running away. And then they start sprinting towards us with these knives. So we're on the balcony at this point and you either decide, okay, am I going to get killed tonight? Or am I going to jump off this balcony and just break a leg and I can't play tomorrow?

• 44:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right. What if this was a crazy test from the coach? He's like, you'd be better out there. Yeah, you should die instead of break a leg.

• 44:53Speaker 05

  So at this point, they're running towards us and then I'm like halfway over the balcony, like just trying to get over. Few of our teammates are basically hanging off at this point about to jump. So they're like, I don't want to stay up here. And then all of a sudden they yell, stop. And then they take off their mask. And it was our first year rookies who decided to play a prank on us.

• 45:10Dax Shepard?

  That's not how it's supposed to go. The rookies are supposed to get fucked with.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Oh, no, they should go to jail. They should have called 911 on.

• 45:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, we were freaking out because we're like, they can't do that to us. You know, they're first years.

• 45:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right. This is impossible.

• 45:24Speaker 05

  On the seniors.

• 45:25Dax Shepard?

  I was in a situation like this where I went camping with a group of people I didn't really know in Joshua Tree. And one of the guys had brought with him a full gorilla outfit and he waited till a few guys hiked out into the desert. And then he came and scared them in this thing and then chased them back. And for real, we're all in this rock formation, watching the guys run back. They're screaming. One guy cut his knee, fell down. And then we're watching this creature come through the desert. And I'm like, well, I know Sasquatches are not real, but I am seeing one. Like, what do I do about this? And he was walking kind of like a creature. All to say, we all ended up running and hiding in our tents. It turned out to be that guy. But I was thinking, ever since then, I was like, if anyone had

• 46:08Dax Shepard?

  had a gun, they would have fired at that thing. Cause it was that terrifying. Like, oh my God, we're about to meet up with a crazy animal that's going to eat us. I wonder how often these go wrong. They can go wrong if it's deadly.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, guys.

• 46:19Dax Shepard?

  They should have been holding like a corn on the cob. Like, oh, you guys are so stupid. You were afraid of a corn on the cob. Can we watch the movie with you?

• 46:28Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, yeah. They were just jealous.

• 46:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  They were invited. They were allowed to come. But I mean, from the start, it was a setup from Steph, the teammate who put on the movie, The Strangers.

• 46:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, she was, they had someone on the inside.

• 46:45Speaker 05

  Yeah. So she put that movie on to kind of get us in that mood of intruders.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  And then did the other girl know the one that, that went down there?

• 46:54Speaker 05

  No, she did not. That's why I were like, yeah.

• 46:58Dax Shepard?

  That's where it got dangerous. She would have had that stick.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:02Dax Shepard?

  She would have decapitated one of these rookies.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, these things can go awry.

• 47:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. And what was the vibe then about the, did everyone have a great sense of humor about it?

• 47:11Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, for sure. And we still talk about it. Like I was messaging my teammates just this weekend, just kind of fact checking some information. They're like, oh my God, I forgot about that. That was crazy. In the moment, it's terrifying. But then of course, the next day we have a good story to tell the coaches.

• 47:24Dax Shepard?

  Well, Sophia, it was so nice meeting you.

• 47:26Speaker 05

  Yes. So nice to meet you guys.

• 47:27Dax Shepard?

  All right. Take care.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Bye.

• 47:31Dax Shepard?

  Hi, Kelly.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 47:33Dax Shepard?

  You're the second person we've spoken with today who has guitars hanging on their wall.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  That's right. Oh, my gosh. I'm glad to be part of the trend, I suppose.

• 47:40Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Where are you at?

• 47:42Speaker 01

  I am in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania.

• 47:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, where's Bellefonte? What's the closest big city?

• 47:47Speaker 01

  We are about 10 to 15 minutes outside of State College. So Penn State University.

• 47:50Dax Shepard?

  And are you somehow working with the university or no?

• 47:53Speaker 01

  No, I'm not. I'm actually a voice teacher. This is my studio here. So that's why I have all of the, the setup behind me.

• 47:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. What's the average age of your pupils?

• 48:03Speaker 01

  It's a good question. I teach predominantly high school through adult avocation.

• 48:08Speaker 06

  I work with those that love a karaoke bar and those that are on tour and kind of everywhere in between.

• 48:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 48:14Dax Shepard?

  I admire anyone that's that into karaoke that they're taking voice lessons.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  I've considered taking voice lessons just for fun, but then it's like, but I'm never gonna.

• 48:22Dax Shepard?

  You'll never sing publicly.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:25Dax Shepard?

  Just to sound better in your shower.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  Exactly. Maybe it would just be for me, something for me.

• 48:29Speaker 06

  And that's exactly what it is. You need to do it, Monica. I believe in you.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Okay, thank you.

• 48:34Dax Shepard?

  Self-care.

• 48:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you, Kelly, have a Halloween story for us.

• 48:40Speaker 06

  I do. So this takes place in October of 2010. I'm a brand new freshman in musical theater at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. So I am fresh out of high school, ready to be a professional. I'm about a month or so in and I get a call from some of my colleagues back home from the community theater scene that I was in and said, hey, we actually have like a fright night event coming up that we need some extra scare actors for.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Oh, sure.

• 49:10Speaker 06

  Would you be interested? And I was like, absolutely. I've never done something like this before. I get paid. Again, I'm now a professional because I'm going to school for theater. It's fantastic.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 06

  So a couple of days before I get another call. It's like, hey, we had a couple of people say that they couldn't make it. Do you have anyone in mind that might be interested in jumping in? And I thought about it and I was like, you know, the best person to ask is my non-musical, non-theater-related ex-boyfriend, Ryan.

• 49:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 49:37Speaker 06

  I don't know what, but I was like, you know, like maybe being in the dark woods, doing my craft would like really win him over.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Okay, that's what I was thinking was your thought process. Like if he sees me in my element, he's gonna be like, oh my god, what have I done?

• 49:53Dax Shepard?

  She's a ghoul.

• 49:54Speaker 06

  What have I done? Exactly. So I call him and I'm like, hey, doesn't this sound like a great date night idea? And he says, yes, for whatever reason. Again, I think just being in the dark in the woods.

• 50:05Dax Shepard?

  You said ex-boyfriend. Was he at that time your current boyfriend? Were you together?

• 50:09Speaker 06

  He was my ex-boyfriend.

• 50:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay, you were broken up and you're still gonna do some things together.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I want you to come be my boyfriend again.

• 50:16Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 50:18Speaker 06

  And this was the thing that was going to impress him.

• 50:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, sure.

• 50:22Speaker 06

  So it's the day of. Wilkes is only about an hour from where I grew up, so it's easy to jump home for the weekend. So it's the day of and they say like, hey, bring some makeup and some clothes options. We'll do your makeup. When we get there, we have some artists that will do that, but bring some things along. So I'm in a hurry. I grab my bag full of stuff. I throw it in the back of my car in my dad's garage. And this is the beginning of like a series of unfortunate events that kind of take place throughout the rest of the night. So I'm really nervous to get there. I jump in the front seat and I guess I hit the pedal with a little bit more force than I anticipated.

• 50:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 50:55Speaker 06

  And what I realized is that the back passenger door didn't latch all the way. So when I reversed quickly, it caught the side of the garage and slammed it, bent it into the side of the car and broke the glass.

• 51:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. This is how you started.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Uh-oh.

• 51:11Speaker 06

  So my dad's rushing out. He's, everything okay? Are you okay? I heard this explosion, basically. So I'm already in tears. And he's like, you got somewhere to be? Let's fix it. We'll take care of it. My dad gets a lot of credit throughout this story.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  Oh, great.

• 51:25Speaker 06

  So he bends it back into place. He puts the cardboard in the window and duct tapes it up. And he's like, you're not going far. It's drivable. Just get there. We'll deal with it tomorrow.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Great.

• 51:36Speaker 06

  And I said, okay, great.

• 51:38Dax Shepard?

  I mean, I hate to say this, but when he was weighing the option of just sending you off in his car, he's like, absolutely not. I'd rather fix this one than turn over a second car to you.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Fix one instead of two.

• 51:50Speaker 06

  Yes, absolutely. Let's bang up the thing that is already broken. A hundred percent. So I pick up my ex, Ryan, and we make it to the festival. And the way that the festival is set up is everyone kind of has a different area that they're gonna be scaring in. Whether it's people that are just kind of like walking through the place, scaring you as you're on your way for me to be. If you're in the corn maze or if you're on the hayride, like everyone has a designation. So we find out that we are gonna be working one of the scenes on the haunted hayride. And our scene is going to be like a zombie attack. So I'm gonna be the one trying to be attacked. And my ex and a couple of other people in our scene were all dressed as the zombies.

• 52:30Speaker 06

  So for me, I'm like bloody hair, ripped clothes, like I've been fighting my way through this forest.

• 52:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 52:38Speaker 06

  To get out because the zombies are a-coming.

• 52:40Dax Shepard?

  You're the damsel in distress.

• 52:42Speaker 06

  I am the damsel, yes. And that works really well, you know, for the whole ex-boyfriend.

• 52:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Oh, in character. Wow.

• 52:49Speaker 06

  So they're like, it's about 30 minutes until we open the doors. Let's do a quick run-through. So I don't know how every haunted hayride functions, but the ways that ours worked was every couple of feet, there was a scene on the haunted hayride where it kind of stops, something happens.

• 53:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 06

  Our scene was to happen where we were kind of in the forest, pulled back from the road. As the tractor came by, there was a little light that was to go off, like a little red light to say like, hey, stop, slow down. The scene's about to happen. We do our bit and then the tractor slowly picks up and continues on to the next scene and we've reset.

• 53:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:26Speaker 06

  We do the quick run-through. Everything goes really well. I'm in my element now. I'm thinking about my character development and all the things that brought me to this point. And I look over at my ex and I'm like, are you ready to go?

• 53:41Speaker 06

  And he's just like, yeah, sure, why not?

• 53:43Dax Shepard?

  Feel free to ravage me.

• 53:45Speaker 06

  Yeah, let's just go. A hundred percent. So then it's time. It's getting dark. The tractor comes. It's the first one of the night and it starts getting towards where our scene is. So I'm like, okay, it's go time. The people in the cart are right in front of me. And my job is to like jump out and seem like I'm trying to get on with them. Like, help me, take me with you. They're after me. Like, please, I'm screaming. So I go up to do my bit and as I grab onto the side, I realize the tractor's not stopping.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 54:15Speaker 06

  I'm like, okay, maybe I'm early. It will slow down. So I'm still holding on, still screaming. And eventually I feel this like k-dunk and I'm on the ground.

• 54:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 54:25Speaker 06

  And I was like, didn't expect that to happen. The show must go on. So I get back up and I'm still screaming. I'm running at the back of this tractor now. I am committed to the bit.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Now you've gone off book.

• 54:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:40Speaker 06

  We're off script now, yeah. It took me long enough to get back up that the tractor's going, but I still need to finish my scene. So I'm running, screaming. It turns the corner where it can't really see me anymore and I collapse. I hit the ground and that's when I realized the tractor ran over my foot while I was holding on to the side of it.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Oh, my god. And you were so incognito, you didn't even feel it or notice it.

• 55:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  That is a committed actor.

• 55:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 06

  The adrenaline was pumping at this point. So I'm on the ground and it takes me a minute to say anything. And I think at this point, my ex is probably like, well, she's really in character.

• 55:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I was scary into character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  He's like, oh, god, she's one of those actors.

• 55:23Dax Shepard?

  Too much. Yeah, I'm a method actor.

• 55:24Speaker 06

  One of those. I was in it. So he finally comes over. He's like, are you okay? And I'm like, I can't get up. I think my foot was run over by a hayride.

• 55:35Speaker 06

  So again, this is first tractor of the night. They have to shut the hayride down.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 55:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 55:41Speaker 06

  Because now he has to, we're in the woods. This isn't like off of a sidewalk. He has to now carry me out of the woods again.

• 55:54Speaker 06

  He has to carry me out of the woods all the way back to the parking lot.

• 55:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 55:59Speaker 06

  In the car that is broken that I drove.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:03Speaker 06

  And it's my right foot that is run over. So he now has to drive my car.

• 56:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, this is a disaster.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  And he probably didn't even get paid.

• 56:12Dax Shepard?

  I hope they didn't get paid. They didn't perform any of their duties.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  Well, the hayride ran over her.

• 56:17Dax Shepard?

  Anything they should get charged for the people they had to refund the hayride to.

• 56:20Speaker 06

  I unfortunately did not get paid for my five minutes of job experience. Thankfully, the hospital was only about like five minutes away, so it was a short drive. But now I have to call my dad to let him know.

• 56:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 56:35Speaker 06

  Hey, I was run over by a hayride tractor.

• 56:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 06

  And he was about 30 minutes into like a 40-minute drive to see his girlfriend that he was seeing at the time. So now he has to about-face and drive all the way back home.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Poor dad.

• 56:53Speaker 06

  So it was one of those kind of like. Okay, he's the savior here.

• 56:58Dax Shepard?

  Well, if I was your dad, I'd be like, call me if the x-rays show a break.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  No, you would not. You'd be so panicked.

• 57:05Dax Shepard?

  Those x-rays turn out.

• 57:07Speaker 06

  There's anything else I need to know. Exactly. So we get to the hospital again. I can't walk. We don't know what the damage is. I have like a boot on because again, I was like hiking in the woods was my character. So we haven't taken it off. We don't know what we're looking at yet. So he has to carry me into the emergency room and it's at this point when we walk through the doors that we remember we look like we went through a horrible car accident.

• 57:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sure. You're covered in blood. Yeah.

• 57:32Speaker 06

  He is carrying in this tiny girl covered in fake blood.

• 57:39Dax Shepard?

  It is. What a confusing holiday for all.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  It really is crazy.

• 57:44Dax Shepard?

  Municipal workers. You know, like, what are the cops doing on that night? It's just like, fuck, that looks bad.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  Well, and there are other cops out and about.

• 57:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, they'll handle it. Those cops will handle it.

• 57:55Speaker 06

  So he's carrying me in ripped clothes, blood coming from my head, the scratches, everything. And everyone goes into panic. It's like, get the stretchers, get the socks or the nurses are coming over. So I'm like crying in shame that I just have to be like, it's just my foot. Like, I promise it's not as bad as it looks. After everything kind of calmed down, we just sat in the waiting room like a normal person.

• 58:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:21Speaker 06

  And I'm just like, my head is down. I'm looking at the floor. I could feel people like looking at us, our nurses, like seething at these dumb kids on Halloween and like, what are they doing in my emergency room? And my dad finally gets there and I was talking to him this morning about recalling this. And he said, the only thing he really remembers is that, he says, it's the most attentive he's ever seen the hospital staff in his life. Because everyone wanted to like pop their head in the room and see the kids that were covered in blood. Every doctor from every department was making their way in to see what we looked like. So finally he gets there. We get the x-rays, we get the MRIs done and nothing is broken. Surprising.

• 59:00Dax Shepard?

  A Halloween miracle.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:02Speaker 06

  It really was. The way that it ran over my foot was basically like at such a diagonal from my toes that the doctor said if it was up a little higher, it would have just crushed all of them. But I was lucky enough that I just had like a really bad sprain and I ended up having to be on crutches for about six weeks, which as a brand new college freshman in musical theater was not great.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Not ideal.

• 59:26Speaker 06

  Unfortunately, my acting abilities and show must go on mentality did not.

• 59:32Dax Shepard?

  Move him.

• 59:33Speaker 06

  No.

• 59:34Dax Shepard?

  He wasn't for you.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Exactly. He wasn't the right fit.

• 59:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  And that's okay.

• 59:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's fine.

• 59:40Speaker 06

  Maybe it's a meet cute because I'm getting back into college now and I have my little crutches and I'm having trouble going downstairs into our choir room. And I meet a very handsome man who is singing bass in the choir. And he is now my husband.

• 59:57Dax Shepard?

  Wonderful. Yeah.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  A Halloween meet cute.

• 1:00:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and maybe your invalid state really opened up his heart to you.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Probably. You didn't need to act. You had to be.

• 1:00:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, which is a lesson.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Really good thing I said.

• 1:00:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's really poignant. Yeah.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Like a proverb just coming right out.

• 1:00:17Speaker 06

  Exactly.

• 1:00:18Dax Shepard?

  In the newest edition of An Actor Prepares, I hope they add it.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  I do too.

• 1:00:24Speaker 06

  So did not win me over with the X. Did get a husband out of it and I have not worked another scare job ever since.

• 1:00:31Dax Shepard?

  They didn't call you the next year?

• 1:00:33Speaker 06

  No, they didn't. No.

• 1:00:35Dax Shepard?

  I'm a little shocked they didn't drive you to the hospital and also I'm not shocked.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  In the hayride, they should have. That would have been fun. Happy Halloween.

• 1:00:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, happy Halloween.

• 1:00:42Speaker 06

  Happy Halloween.

• 1:00:43Dax Shepard?

  Uh, well, Kelly, it's a delight to meet you. I'm happy to hear it all worked out.

• 1:00:47Speaker 06

  Thank you so much. It was so nice to meet you as well.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 1:00:50Dax Shepard?

  All right. Take care. Happy Halloween.

• 1:00:51Speaker 06

  Happy Halloween.

• 1:00:53Dax Shepard?

  Peek-a-bye. Peek-a-boo, peek-a-bye. Peek-a-bye-bye.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Cute. Happy Halloween. I hope everyone enjoys themselves. I hope you don't get run over. I hope you don't stab yourself.

• 1:01:04Dax Shepard?

  Isn't it interesting? All four of those stories took place in college.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  It's not interesting. It's like college is where all the shit goes down.

• 1:01:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I guess it's, it's a bit of a warning call to all collegiate attendees.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Do it. Just have fun. Just go for it.

• 1:01:21Dax Shepard?

  We'll talk to you next year. Go Go Wild will speak to you next year. All right. Love you.

• 1:01:27Dax Shepard?

  Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song.

• 1:01:29Speaker 07

  Oh, okay, great.

• 1:01:32Dax Shepard?

  We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, rhyme dish. On the fly, rhyme dish. Enjoy.