Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley to talk Supermarkets! And will be answering your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Hello Fresh: Get up to 10 FREE meals and a free high protein item for life at https://HelloFresh.com/garbage10fm Adam & Eve: Go to https://adamandeve.com/garbage and pick any 4 sex toys for just $20! Draft Kings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code AYG If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hey gang, if you haven't gotten your tickets for the Back on the Block Tour, do yourself a favor and grab them now because they're going fast.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, we've already added a second show in Pontiac, Michigan. We got a low-ticket alert in Indy, Madison, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, Cleveland. Get them tickies now, we'll see you out there.

• 0:14H. Foley?

  AreYouGarbage.com.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:35H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 0:42H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:47H. Foley?

  Except they're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:49H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's and the new addition. She's upstairs digging out an ingrown toenail.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  She's got a hot date tonight.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  I can't believe, lucky guy.

• 1:01H. Foley?

  That's a Foley right there. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube and also now Spotify. Go over there, rate, review, comment, do the whole nine frickin' y'all.

• 1:25H. Foley?

  Spotify video.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Spotify video, the boys are locked in. Uh, that obviously the greatest website of all time. Pull out your phone, your desktop, your tablet, you go over to www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You get all that bonus content, gang. I'm talking to up to two bonus episodes a week. Hard feelings, AYG, all the, you get episodes from four years ago till now. That's like 10,000.

• 1:48H. Foley?

  Plus Family Game Night, which has been a big hit.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  It's been a very divisive, divisive, uh...

• 1:53H. Foley?

  Follow the directions.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Very divisive.

• 1:55H. Foley?

  If you know, you know.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:58H. Foley?

  Good times. And also...

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Hey, well, follow the rules. That's all I'm saying. Some of us decide to follow the rules, some of us don't. That's all I'm saying. The council is booked.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  Also...

• 2:06Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:07H. Foley?

  The boys are back on the road.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 2:09H. Foley?

  Tickets? Listen, this isn't a marketing ploy.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 2:13H. Foley?

  Well, not really.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  I'm in the business of selling tickets.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Maybe a marketer too.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  Act now, act now. While supplies last, act now, act now. Nah, tickets are going.

• 2:25H. Foley?

  Moving.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Tickets are moving.

• 2:27H. Foley?

  They're moving.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Pontiac, Michigan, sold out second show added there.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Uh, everything else is slim pickin', so get them while they last. And it, uh, some of these, some of these markets, cities were doing during the week, so we can't add a second show, so we're sticking and moving, so get them while they last.

• 2:44H. Foley?

  Got goddamn work in the morning.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Whoo doggy. All tickets available at areyougarbage.com.

• 2:50H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:51H. Foley?

  Got the website, everything. Still pretty good.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  We're doing pretty.

• 2:55H. Foley?

  Doing alright.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  We got a nine dollar a month website cooking, shout out to it. We know what we're doing. I get in there and start cootin'.

• 3:02H. Foley?

  What is the server fee on that?

• 3:04Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 3:05H. Foley?

  Is it nine bucks?

• 3:06Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  Cause I still have a, a MySite account.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  I don't even know what MySite?

• 3:12H. Foley?

  MySite.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Is that where it's like email me at [email protected] or whatever? That, and I never, I, I, that's like Mac does that? I've never trusted that.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  Anybody would, I'd never email anybody with a Mac address.

• 3:25H. Foley?

  When I first got my, my, when I got my first desk, my first and only computer back in 2006.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  How's your first and only computer you've ever owned? Was that, that one, that, at one point ran the company.

• 3:36H. Foley?

  That one point ran the company.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Ran the early stages of, of the brain trust of, of Foley and Ryan Enterprises.

• 3:41H. Foley?

  2006 Mac OS X.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Bought it, bought it in 2018.

• 3:45H. Foley?

  Seventeen inch. My dad bought it for me.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Wait, okay. I mean, you were pushing 30 at that point.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  That's like.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  I was over 30.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  That was, you're gonna get your feet, you're, this is him helping you start your artistic.

• 4:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Your artistic ventures.

• 4:03H. Foley?

  And he was the worst with computers. And for him to be like, you gotta have a computer. What are you doing?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  How the hell are we gonna email you, guy? You don't even.

• 4:10H. Foley?

  This is the guy who used to send emails all in caps. Cause that was his style.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:14H. Foley?

  That's who I was taking.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Now you do all lower, you do all lowercase, which is somehow even more, more of a bitch move.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  I don't, I, I.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  It's all in cursive. No punctuation or too much punctuation.

• 4:27H. Foley?

  I'm all voice to text, voice to email.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's the rudest, I mean, this is well, this is well, it's the rudest thing I've ever seen in my life. That, you gotta get, you gotta get this guy a pair of headphones and a dialing wand. Cause you're all over the map, just intrusive in people's personal.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Well, I got rid of my fucking, my ear pods because you said they were causing brain cancer and I got the.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Buddy, you could use a little bit of it, maybe get the synapses firing on the right pages. This guy, dude, this guy's stinking.

• 4:51H. Foley?

  I need a shot of radiation over here.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  I was in a car with him yesterday, oh man, we've spent way too much time together.

• 4:58H. Foley?

  I thought we had a nice time.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  This guy asked if he could watch a 30 minute video on his phone yesterday while we were driving together, no headphones. He goes, you mind if I watch this now? I said, yeah, I mind if you watch it now. Uber driver always says he's cool with it. Meanwhile, he's doom scruttled, mid-conversation, look over, he's just, he's just playing like plane crash videos. You're like, dude, come on, I'm trying, I'm trying to stay engaged, I'm hungover.

• 5:21H. Foley?

  Hey, we're not here to talk about my personality deficiencies.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  Have you seen this show? It's precise, are you, one, do your physical ones?

• 5:29H. Foley?

  Sure. Does this shirt fit? Not in the traditional sense that you're thinking. Do you, do you know where this shirt's from?

• 5:36Speaker 01

  If I had to guess, a really fat Italian guy.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Who may or may not be with us any longer.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  You don't remember this shirt?

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Why, why would I remember that shirt?

• 5:46H. Foley?

  I got married in this shirt.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Uh, damn. It don't fit anymore, that was, that was two weeks ago.

• 5:52H. Foley?

  It fits.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  It didn't, no, I mean, okay.

• 5:55H. Foley?

  It's, it's just what I said, it didn't, it, that, what?

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Dude, that's a, you're wearing the shirt you wore to your wedding just casually throughout New York City?

• 6:06H. Foley?

  I was thinking about that when I put it on this morning, what am I supposed to just wear it once? And like, what am I, am I supposed to like, just hang it up and that was it? Why not get some, some use out of it? Why is that crazy?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  I.

• 6:17H. Foley?

  It's not like I'm wearing it.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  I don't know anybody else that's ever done it, that's all I'm saying.

• 6:20H. Foley?

  Cause most people get married in suits and tuxes and all, I wouldn't be walking around in a tuxedo.

• 6:26H. Foley?

  If I bought a tuxedo, there's a

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Good chance I'd be sleeping in it. Yeah, I could untie that. I'd do that bow tie every day.

• 6:32H. Foley?

  That cummerbunds are a pain in the ass. That'd be cool to bring those back. Just daily cummerbunds.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Buddy, it's, it's, we got hard enough keeping you in jeans, let alone, let alone fucking tuxedos.

• 6:43H. Foley?

  Man, you ever have a cummerbund on and your belly's sticking?

• 6:45Speaker 01

  I've never.

• 6:45H. Foley?

  You never had to wear a cummerbund?

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Who do you think, where?

• 6:48H. Foley?

  You didn't go to prom?

• 6:50Speaker 01

  We didn't, that was tux-

• 6:51H. Foley?

  Or a black tie affair?

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Those tuxes were out.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  A cummerbund? Yeah.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Nah, that's, I mean, that's like the 50s. We weren't doing, ours are ju- tuxes now are just like suits.

• 7:02H. Foley?

  Cumberbund and fucking-

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Maybe a vest. We did vests.

• 7:05H. Foley?

  Vests are alright.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Dude, ah man, I did some mean vests to school dances, weddings. Ooh, doggy.

• 7:11H. Foley?

  Get the Mumford and Sons on the line here, huh?

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Dude, did I ever tell you, my one buddy got married and I had to wear, uh, so we did this thing where it was like, I don't know if it was like through Men's Warehouse or whatever, but you, like, I think it was through Men's Warehouse. So like, cause people were all over the country, like the groomsmen were like, didn't all live locally. Typically, I think you're like, oh, well, if y'all live in Philadelphia, hey, we're gonna meet up here Saturday morning, all get fitted for the suits, then go pick them up and you're good.

• 7:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  I was up here, I'm like, dude, I, I didn't have the time and or resources to get down, to get to Philadelphia for a tux fitting. I didn't have the extra 40 bucks.

• 7:47H. Foley?

  I assume you were nervous in the Men's Warehouse.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  I didn't-

• 7:50H. Foley?

  When's this bill coming?

• 7:51Speaker 01

  I didn't do the Men's Warehouse. I did something else. So they were like, just send your measurements in. So I did my own measurements. I bought it, I bought like a tape met, like the, like the, I think I had my wife do it, who was, I was, it was my, who was my, it was my broad at the time. We weren't married, we were just dating.

• 8:09H. Foley?

  So this says you're nine feet tall.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Dude, those measurements came back whack the fuck out. I looked like Tracy McGrady on ESPN, dude. It was bad. I was rolling them.

• 8:21H. Foley?

  Listen, unless the planet's, unless the planet's gone off its axis and we've lost half our gravity, these numbers cannot be right.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  That's a high end scene, pal.

• 8:31H. Foley?

  One of them was pie? What?

• 8:34Speaker 01

  3.333 repeating. Uh, yeah, it was, I mean, I, I look, I had to like roll the, I had to roll the, the top down. I, I was j- and I didn't-

• 8:43H. Foley?

  Of the pants?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  I didn't, and then I picked-

• 8:45H. Foley?

  At the wedding?

• 8:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I picked it up in Philly.

• 8:47H. Foley?

  Wait, you sweat panted them? Rolled them down?

• 8:49Speaker 01

  It was the only, it was either that or T-Mac it. Uh, I had my brother, well, no, that's what happened. I had my brother pick it up because I couldn't even get down there to pick it up. So I had my brother pick it up.

• 8:59H. Foley?

  You're out there like white chocolate, breaking ankles?

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Hey, yo!

• 9:04Speaker 01

  That's my nephew. Hot sizzle. I'm out there doing skip to my loo moves. Uh-

• 9:11H. Foley?

  Stink.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  I had my brother pick it up and try it on for me.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  What? You might as well have Cindy Crawford do it.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  No, we were about to say, I was skinny at the, I was skinny at the time.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Skinnier at the time.

• 9:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  For sure. And I had him try it on. He was like, it's, I mean, but this is, he's picking up Friday. The wedding's Saturday morning.

• 9:31H. Foley?

  Men's warehouse.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  And he's like, it's not, there's nothing you can do, but it's not great. It's bad, it's like-

• 9:36H. Foley?

  Probably closed a lot of ass at that wedding, huh?

• 9:39Speaker 01

  I think my parents were there. They were.

• 9:41H. Foley?

  You're peeing with your pants all the way down?

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Can't get any fucking chicks out here.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Shout out to Ryan Dunn, all time great line. Uh, yeah, tough, tough look, tough life. I mean, I don't, I don't do well in that, in those type of things. That's the last time I do my own measurements. I won't say that much.

• 9:59H. Foley?

  Anyway, it's a nice shirt. I like it.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  It's a very nice shirt.

• 10:01H. Foley?

  It means a lot to me. I'm gonna wear it.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  I, that's it, alright, hold on. This is, you're gonna push back on this. It, I don't, you didn't put that on thinking this means a lot to me. You put this on going, this is all I got. If we're being completely honest, I know you, don't lie to the good people out there. You're saying this now, it means a lot to me? You put it on because you thought it fit and it's, it's probably all you got.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Yes or no?

• 10:23H. Foley?

  Oh, you mean today or for the wedding?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Today.

• 10:25H. Foley?

  Cause both would be true.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  Sure, exactly, exactly. Still mean a lot to ya.

• 10:29H. Foley?

  I bought this the day before I left.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Also, you gotta, do you just put Ian's t-shirt on, under it?

• 10:33H. Foley?

  Try not to be an Ian. With Jordan.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Let me have that sign on the door, no more Ian's allowed.

• 10:39H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Nice shirt, but don't, don't spin me this.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  Beautiful piece of clothing.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Don't spin me this sentimental bullshit.

• 10:48H. Foley?

  Well, it means a lot to me now.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  If it means a lot to you, you're still fitting it, alright, tough guy?

• 10:53H. Foley?

  I can't remember what happened to the one that I was gonna wear.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Didn't fit?

• 10:57H. Foley?

  No, it did. I don't know why it didn't work, or the pants didn't work. Oh, it didn't work with the pants. I couldn't wear the tan pants, I had to wear the dark pants, I had to get this. Either way, don't fit.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  That looks like the lining of a, of a rich guy's suit, if I'm being honest with you. That's like a rich guy would have on his jacket, and you're rocking it as his shirt.

• 11:16H. Foley?

  Inside?

• 11:17Speaker 01

  That's nice, nice. You know what I mean? Maybe the pocket square, the ties, that, that, that flavor?

• 11:23H. Foley?

  For the inside of like a nice leather jacket.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you open it up and it's that, you go, ooh, that's, wow, that's nice.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  Ah, that's when you know it's classy.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Meanwhile, you're rocking it, I'm, oh. And nice, it, nice, nice.

• 11:34H. Foley?

  Do you remember some nice?

• 11:35Speaker 01

  A little dark for a wedding, though.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  It looks like you're.

• 11:38H. Foley?

  I blend it in, though.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Looks like you're selling blow, I mean. You bump into a guy wearing that shirt at a club, he's got yak. Yo, you know where I can, you party?

• 11:48H. Foley?

  Your friends are Ronnie, right? Um. You remember every once in a while, when like your dad or somebody would get like a nice new coat? It would have like an extra lining in it that kinda zipped out?

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  Like a London Fog, it would be like, for like when it was a little bit colder.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  It'd be like, and then it was like a vest typically, didn't have the sleeves on.

• 12:09H. Foley?

  I used to try to pull that off.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  I used to try to pull the vest, I mean, he was young, but I would put a vest on, I guess it looks nice. Yeah, it was the, it was like, yeah, the lining of it, that my dad's London Fog or Alfani jacket or something like that. I told ya, Big Dan used to rock a leather trench coat. With warm up pants and white Nikes, like just, that would be his, his, his, you know, food shopping thing. He'd be at the super fresh.

• 12:33H. Foley?

  That's when he was living with the ultimate warrior.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Sting. Comes down from the rafters of a super fresh. These are supposed to be ten for ten.

• 12:44H. Foley?

  Which, speaking of super fresh.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 12:46H. Foley?

  That's what we're here to talk about.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Super markets, kid.

• 12:50H. Foley?

  Super mac.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Which is very, supermarkets have been very definitive of this show. We each have very, uh, strong opinions on supermarkets. Supermarkets are very, uh, I mean, it's one of the, the questions we ask every guest.

• 13:03H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Where did you food shop growing up? Yeah. Where do you shop now? I think it's a great, uh, decider of trash and class and economic landscape. And, uh, it's just certain, it tells a lot by where you food shop.

• 13:16H. Foley?

  And a heart of America.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Everybody's got a food shop.

• 13:19H. Foley?

  It really is. Lot and lot of nostalgia, which we've talked about many times before.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Very much so.

• 13:25H. Foley?

  Very important, the supermarket.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  And this is, uh, this is, this is what I wanted to, uh, this is what, I, you know, it sounds corny and I mean, obviously very corny, but like, they are, I mean, I worked at a supermarket for, I don't know, four years, something like that. Started out as a bagger.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  You talk about it like you were in Nam.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  It was a, I mean, this was, this was, this was during the 10 for 10 May, May, uh, melee. Things were good, things got, heck, you try to work at an Acme on fricking, uh, you know, uh, Black Friday. I mean, Thanksgiving. I've been drinking. His shirt's disorienting me.

• 14:07H. Foley?

  Don't look directly into it.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  I'm having flashbacks from Studio 54.

• 14:11H. Foley?

  Any epileptics out there? Shave your eyes. You gotta, you gotta look at this shirt through one of those fucking eclipse glasses. What, what, what?

• 14:19Speaker 01

  It's what the undertaker would wear to a wedding.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  It's kinda dangerous and dark, but like, he's trying to be festive.

• 14:26H. Foley?

  It's a little mystery to it.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 14:28H. Foley?

  Plus, it was around Christmas. It was very Christmasy.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 14:31H. Foley?

  Yes, it is.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  That's Christmas.

• 14:32H. Foley?

  These are kind of our,

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Christmas colors are,

• 14:34H. Foley?

  These are kind of our wedding colors.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  That's a kind of a lot you're really trying to, you're really trying to, it's kind of Christmas, kind of our wedding colors.

• 14:40H. Foley?

  Design like this, it's a lot of different things.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  Walks in a lot of worlds, this design. You dip their toe.

• 14:49H. Foley?

  Anywho.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  You stink.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  I'm here to talk about my fashion.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Again, have you seen the show?

• 14:56Speaker 01

  This one, so we reached out to, shout out to the Patreon.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  It's supermarket themed, right? And we, uh, this I think sums up what supermarkets are, right?

• 15:09H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  So this is from, uh, this is from Beard Man Tooth. $10 debit benefits recipient.

• 15:15H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  "Is it garbage if the main hangout spots for all kids and teens in our town was the Safeway Shopping Center? Experience a lot of firsts up there." I love "up there," that's a real dirtbag thing. "Yeah, he's going up there? Saw my first pair of tits behind the market, drank my first beer up there, swiped my first bottle of RoboDust, and robo-tripped up there, caught my first teeter up there, smooched my first bird, saw my first fistfight, smoked weed for the first time. Hell, I even got a job at the Safeway and ended up getting my first hernia while working there."

• 15:53H. Foley?

  That's full circle.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  That's goddamn what the-

• 15:55H. Foley?

  There's a whole series of the Wonder Years right there.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  That's everything. This guy saw tits before he kissed a girl. At least that's what he ordered. That's like, they are very, you know, for a lot of kids, if you grew up in the suburbs, hanging out at a shopping center, skating, it's like, that was kinda the anchor to-

• 16:13H. Foley?

  Where you were hanging.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Spend a lot of time around there, you know what I mean?

• 16:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, trust me, the back, out in the back.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Man, I told, we used to-

• 16:20H. Foley?

  About 10 feet of asphalt, like a little driveway. I love driving behind a shopping center like that, cutting across. Ooh, it feels dangerous when you're doing it. But then it's gotta have about 10 feet of that, then the woods.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's some sort of trees, yeah.

• 16:36H. Foley?

  Tractor trailer or something back there.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, old, a set of train tracks that don't run anymore.

• 16:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Man, we used to-

• 16:41H. Foley?

  That's where life goes down.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Skateboarding, we weren't that good as skaters, but we, you know, we'd end up at a shopping center of some-

• 16:47H. Foley?

  We were good at dumpster diving, though.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were. And just, dude, I mean, finding those big, long fluorescent, uh, light bulbs, wailing on each other with them, because that's what's in supermarkets. So there'd be like a box of 15, and man, as like a 12-year-old kid finding that shit, woo.

• 17:04H. Foley?

  We never really got harassed back behind the, uh, the little strip mall behind, uh, the Aloha Inn and Joe's Pizza and all that stuff. There was never, there was never that went, "Get out of here, I'm gonna..."

• 17:15Speaker 01

  We were-

• 17:15H. Foley?

  That was cool.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  We were skating. So that was like very, "Yeah, I'm skating here, you go skating." All the signs were saying, "No skateboarding."

• 17:21H. Foley?

  Remember how anti-skateboarding they were in the, in the mid 90s and early 2000s?

• 17:25Speaker 01

  They hated it, dude. It was like, it was like-

• 17:28H. Foley?

  The fuck were you guys doing?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Smoking cigs and weed, man.

• 17:31H. Foley?

  Were you causing trouble? Were you breaking shit?

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Visually, you don't look great. You got the G, you got the long hair. You're hanging out with guys with long hair. You're smoking a cig. You're loitering. Yeah, you're not, you're not contributing to the shopping center.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about DraftKings, baby.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Go Birds!

• 17:48H. Foley?

  Gang, we're not talking about the itty bitty teeny weeny bowl. We're talking about Super Bowl 59, the Birds versus the Chiefs. Get your bets in now. And as you know, scoring touchdowns is the key to hoisting the Vince Lombardi Trophy. And you have a shot to score big by betting them on DraftKings Sportsbook, the number one place to bet touchdowns.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Ooh wee!

• 18:07H. Foley?

  DraftKings customers can bet $5 to get $200 in bonus bets instantly.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  That ain't nothing to shake a stick at, baby. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code AYG. That's code AYG for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly, daddy-o. Uh, when you bet just five bucks, only on DraftKings Sportsbooks, the crown is yours. If you've got a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY, which is 467-369. If you're in Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort, Kansas. 21-plus age and eligibility varies

• 18:54Speaker 01

  by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. New customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co/audio. Do it, yeah.

• 19:07H. Foley?

  Okay, let's talk about HelloFresh, baby. HelloFresh. Gang, with HelloFresh, you can get farm-fresh, pre-portioned ingredients and seasoned recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip the trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy and affordable. That's why they're America's number one meal kit.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, tired of figuring out what's for dinner night after night, arguing with your spouse, your husband, your wife, your whatever, your kids? Shut 'em up with HelloFresh. Uh, you get dinner done the easy way, thanks to HelloFresh. It's easy to find time to eat well with 50 wholesome hassle-free meals to choose from each week, delivered right to your door. HelloFresh's new, uh, read-made meals go from the fridge to your fork in just three minutes, baby. That's cutting out the middle, man. Uh, it's the same high-quality ingredients and restaurant-worthy flavor from, that you have grown to expect from HelloFresh with just none of the work. Listen, HelloFresh, easy date night with the bird, too, if you...

• 20:06H. Foley?

  Not too shabby.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Hey, HelloFresh, you come, there's no arguing. Did you get this? Did you get that? It all shows up, bada bing, everything's done right. Beep boop bop boop.

• 20:13H. Foley?

  You feel like a real chef when you're cooking with HelloFresh.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're out the door, dog. That's how they're doing it. Uh, right now, you get up to 10 free meals and a free high-protein item for life at hellofresh.com/garbage10fm. One item per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only, varies by plan. That's up to 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com/garbage10fm. Do it.

• 20:43H. Foley?

  I wasn't a skateboarder by no means, I don't pretend to be, but I'll tell you what, uh, I always had respect for those kids, and it really took a long time for society to appreciate that. Like, yeah, sure, you look like dirtbags, you got a fat kid wearing fucking tuxedo pants.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  With his arm in a cast.

• 21:00H. Foley?

  Whatever. But, you know, like Seinfeld says, a lot of trial and error. You gotta, you gotta get back up.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Success by repetitive failure.

• 21:08H. Foley?

  Crazy. Took a lot of heat.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  Which mean you know a lot about.

• 21:12H. Foley?

  So you were more of a misunderstood kid, that's what it is?

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Sure. I was cruising, I was a good cruiser, I wasn't good at tricks, I could shh, shh, shh, shh, I could cruise with the best of them, though. Also, I was a good, I was a good hang guy. I had a lot of laughs, somebody fell, you know, hey, whatever. You know what I mean? It's a good vibes guy. Um... But, uh, alright, let's see here. This one, this one's up for debate. And as a previous cashier, I have, uh... I have some input on it. What is the minimum... This is from John. What is the minimum dollar amount you're willing to save in order to jam up the checkout line? So the manager can get the coupon, or go check a price, or... There's gotta be a number.

• 21:52H. Foley?

  A little bit of cash, no cash. Oh, okay.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Like, your number. Is it like, "Hey, this was supposed to ring up for five, it's ringing up for 10?" To me, I would say it's a fi... If it's, it's $5, I'd go... I would make a comment of like, "This was ringing up as whatever." Also depends on how long the line is. If the kid's in the weeds...

• 22:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? He's like, he's got 50 people, the line's halfway down the aisle? It's like, the last thing he needs is...

• 22:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  Someone running back to the meat section to find something.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  So this is, this is a hypothetical as an adult now. Like, this is now.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're food shopping, and something rings up. What is the dollar amount where you're like, "Buddy, that ain't right." I think anything, I think about $5, I'd go, "Guy, that's wrong? I'm willing to roll over, but that ain't right."

• 22:41H. Foley?

  If the normal order of what we get, which we kinda get somewhat of the same shit, was like, let's say, $100, and it came out and it was... $400, then I would maybe say something.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  $200? You're so... You're nuts.

• 22:55H. Foley?

  Otherwise, it's real tough for a fat guy to start arguing balls and strikes.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  You're not wrong.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  You know what I mean?

• 23:03Speaker 01

  My Juju Bees are marked up, yeah.

• 23:06H. Foley?

  I don't want somebody price checking-

• 23:07Speaker 01

  I can't be fat and cheap. You know what I mean?

• 23:09H. Foley?

  I don't want someone price checking my cottage cheese, or something like that.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  "You work in a cafeteria, sir? You gotta fill the time with small talk, as they're running back to check the price." "How do you need this many olives for?"

• 23:22H. Foley?

  But I respect it. I respect it, but yeah, I would, uh, it would, I'd say, yeah, $50, $100.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Listen, I think the pro move, from being on both sides of this, the pro move-

• 23:32H. Foley?

  In my head, I'd have to be like, "What?" Like, I'd have to have that react, "What?"

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Sure. I think the pro move is pay it, whether you think it's right, and people have done this with me. And this is, this is where I learned it. You'll, they go, "Alright, let's just say it's ringing up, it's supposed to be $100." The whole order comes out to $120, and you go, "Nah, the fucking meatballs were supposed to be..." You know, whatever, 20 instead of 40.

• 23:59H. Foley?

  I don't have kids, I'm not a responsible adult. I'm terrible with money. I never really think about that shit or look at that stuff.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  I know, but I'm just saying, say you do, say you're like, oh, I'm going to buy, it's one item. You're there to buy a fucking grill or something.

• 24:16H. Foley?

  A grill?

• 24:16Speaker 01

  I don't know, something.

• 24:17H. Foley?

  I'm getting a grill at the supermarket?

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:20H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Shout out to seasonal section. They got that shit. What?

• 24:24H. Foley?

  What am I getting?

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Oh, probably something cheap. No, I don't think they sell Weber's there. I'm just saying, you're buying something where you're like, oh, I'll buy this here, it's $99.

• 24:32H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  And then you get up there and it's $120, and you're like, that ain't right.

• 24:36H. Foley?

  That's not tax?

• 24:37Speaker 01

  No, it just rings up as $120.

• 24:39H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  It's $20 off. Why you breaking my stones on this? What the fuck?

• 24:42H. Foley?

  I want to talk to your manager.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Guy's a comedian, he got a real tight imagination going here.

• 24:47H. Foley?

  Why do you smell like cigarettes when you're working, by the way?

• 24:50Speaker 01

  I just took my 15 minute, which I don't have to clock out for. Shh, don't say nothing.

• 24:54H. Foley?

  You have Snickers bar to curb your...

• 24:56Speaker 01

  No, that's not nougat.

• 25:00H. Foley?

  Ah, you must have sucked.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Wore the same, same green khaki pants that were my dad's. Man, those things were broke.

• 25:06H. Foley?

  If it was, I'd push you out of the way and fucking take my goods home with me.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:10H. Foley?

  What are you gonna do, chase me down?

• 25:11Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do, run away?

• 25:13H. Foley?

  I'll walk, casually. I don't want the cameras going off.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Um, take, just pay it in the short term. Double back, keep the receipt, double back, go check, was I right or wrong? Okay, this is $100, it wrong up is $120. Take a picture of it on your phone or whatever.

• 25:33H. Foley?

  Then you going over to the customer service?

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Then you go over to the customer service, you go, hey, listen, this was wrong, and they go, here you go, there you go.

• 25:39H. Foley?

  I have bad memories of that customer service counter.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  You're not, yeah.

• 25:42H. Foley?

  My mom only went there for...

• 25:43Speaker 01

  You're not going, you're going there for bad news.

• 25:45H. Foley?

  Three reasons my mom went there for.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Rain checks? She a rain check gal?

• 25:48H. Foley?

  No, but she went there for heaters. They used to sell heaters behind that customer service thing.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Pro tip, you could get them at the cashier. You go, this and a pack of Marlboro Lights, and then they call over, I used to do that all the time. They would call over and then bring you your Marlboro Lights, which is a... You feel, you feel like royalty. Someone's walking over, hand delivering your heaters?

• 26:11H. Foley?

  Let's take care of this in the back, huh? What do you say? Get some champagne for you, have you sit down?

• 26:18H. Foley?

  Getting heaters? Somebody was about to get screamed at. Or the worst, I remember her cashing a couple of checks there.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Cashed all, I mean, when I worked there, you pick up your check at the front.

• 26:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, she didn't work there!

• 26:31Speaker 01

  You cash it right away.

• 26:32H. Foley?

  She like, I think, wrote a check to herself and then cashed it there? Does that make sense?

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, they used to do that. I think they stopped in like the late night, because a lot of people, you know, flipping hangers and stuff. Sending bad checks. Fucking catch me if you can out there, mofo.

• 26:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, Carl Hadratty.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  So then they only, then I think they, they-

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Her name's Patty Foley, she lives in Philadelphia.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  She's an old bag. She not, she's not some mastermind.

• 27:01H. Foley?

  Let me ask you something Patty, how did you pass the bar exam?

• 27:03Speaker 01

  I studied for it. She's catching a heater on a Spirit flight back from Europe.

• 27:11H. Foley?

  Some French prison?

• 27:13Speaker 01

  I studied for it.

• 27:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, so I never, I always, now. I've never, I don't think as an adult, walked up to that.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Listen, and I get it, I'm not telling-

• 27:22H. Foley?

  Out of trauma and fear.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  I'm not telling you two, I'm telling the listener, if you, if- That guy, the, the kid don't, he's not setting the prices. The cashier has zero- They, they, they might be able, when I was doing it, I think it was, if it was under 99 cents, you could void it yourself. Anything over that, you gotta have, like, they don't have any power to do anything. So the person's gotta come from the, the counter anyway, and do it there, so just go, hey, I'm gonna get out of this kid's hair, and go up there.

• 27:48H. Foley?

  And it was bleached green hair.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  I did have some bleached hair at the time.

• 27:53H. Foley?

  You know what, you know what I seen the other day? They're really cutting back on the self-checkout. Just starting to get rid of that. Didn't work. They don't like it.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  Well, a lot of people are-

• 28:00H. Foley?

  People stealing.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  A lot of people stealing, but they know that, and they save that money on paying the, the worker. I, you know, I don't know, uh...

• 28:10H. Foley?

  If something goes wrong, you need somebody to come over anyway. What's the fucking point?

• 28:12Speaker 01

  I know, but if you're buying two things, what's going wrong? I'm pro, I check out why the other guy, why the guy sit there and watch me. With empty lines.

• 28:21H. Foley?

  Keep an eye on you.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  No, like, they're just waiting for... they're regular cashiers. Yeah, and I just walk right by them and go.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't... what's...

• 28:29H. Foley?

  I like to say hi and do the thing, get the bag.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  If I'm buying, like, two things...

• 28:34H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Typically, Cheez-Its and a Diet Coke. I don't need this guy all up in my business. You know what I mean?

• 28:41H. Foley?

  At the grocery store?

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Where else am I gonna buy it?

• 28:43H. Foley?

  Why are you snagging a 20-ounce Pepsi?

• 28:45Speaker 01

  What?

• 28:46H. Foley?

  The impulse cooler in the front?

• 28:48Speaker 01

  They don't carry bottles at my joint.

• 28:50H. Foley?

  Yeah, they don't. You're hard-pressed to find a cold drink in a supermarket sometimes.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:55H. Foley?

  It's scary.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  I double up on the cans.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Stay real frosty. Maybe some Diet Dr. P if I'm feeling myself.

• 29:04H. Foley?

  There's always something weird about the soda aisle when it's not refrigerated. It takes me a minute.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  It's like going back to the 40s, dude. It's weird. Everything's darker than it should be.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  Dr. Pepper's gonna go bad!

• 29:16Speaker 01

  What the hell's the date on this stuff?

• 29:19H. Foley?

  It's in the cooler.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  No, I agree with that. Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from, uh, Benny B Cups. Also, shockingly, lot of our Patreons have worked at supermarkets throughout their lifetime.

• 29:33H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Which is like the... it really is like the lower-class, like, stomping grounds.

• 29:40H. Foley?

  You landscaped, you worked at a restaurant, you worked at a grocery store.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  That's like what it... you weren't working at a bank, you weren't, you know...

• 29:48H. Foley?

  No.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Dude, they were the easiest to get the jobs. It's typically one person got the job, hey, I got all their boys' jobs.

• 29:54H. Foley?

  Yeah. There was one or two... we had a place like that called Folkways, which was a retirement home, that I guess they had... must've had a huge, like, dining hall, because everybody I knew worked there. I got shot down for some reason. Lady didn't like the cut of my jib. Everybody I know worked there as a fucking busboy.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:13H. Foley?

  And everybody got jobs.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 30:15H. Foley?

  All the hot chicks, all the fucking... everybody worked there.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:19H. Foley?

  Folkways.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Um, there was one of those in my neighborhood too. I never worked there because I worked at the grocery store, but my boys did. And other people, man, they would talk about it because like girls from other schools would be there. Working there and they talked about it like it was fucking hedonism, you know what I mean? Like, "I'm out there smoking a cig with Cheryl" and you're like, "Damn Cheryl, yeah, she's... We're talking."

• 30:42H. Foley?

  Some Catholic school broad from a couple towns over.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're like, "Well, dude, meanwhile, I'm bagging groceries."

• 30:46H. Foley?

  Might as well be Tony Katan.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, "What the hell? I got no action over here. I'm catching heaters with Kart Master Bob." Shout out to Kart Master Bob, by the way.

• 30:55H. Foley?

  He still live with his mom.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  He did, he did. Kart Master Bob did live with his mom. He took the kart game way too serious. They offered him cashier a handful of times. He turned it down. He wasn't good with people, but he could talk to the carts, I tell ya.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  He was the cart whisperer, this guy. He made his own tool, the claw. Wouldn't let me, he didn't never let me use it, which I was quite upset about. But man, fucking with that guy was all... Not fucking with, but just talking to him. He'd be talking to him for like three hours. And he would just tell you that he's, you know what I mean? He had a claw, it was like a piece of string with like a hook that he made with like a hanger. So he could put that and run a rope to this piece of wood. So he could control, like typically you could drive like five carts yourself.

• 31:42H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Without someone steering the front.

• 31:44H. Foley?

  Oh yeah?

• 31:45Speaker 01

  So, but he would hook, he had like a hook and ladder type thing he had working where he could do it himself, man. And he would tell you, "I don't recommend you doing this by yourself."

• 31:53H. Foley?

  That sounds like a fascinating, uh, summer you had there, buddy.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Summer? Most of high school.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  And he got fired.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  Which I think was a setup.

• 32:04H. Foley?

  But I can't...

• 32:05Speaker 01

  I think it was, I think it was an inside job. They accused him of doing some stuff there's no way Kart Master Bob would ever have done.

• 32:11H. Foley?

  It was all to get the patent on the claw. But to answer that question. Patty's, my, you know, my...

• 32:18Speaker 01

  What question?

• 32:19H. Foley?

  The one about, uh, what, how often does it have to be?

• 32:22Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 32:23H. Foley?

  Patty Foley, 15 cents, she'd be going over.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  It's off. I get that.

• 32:28H. Foley?

  And that's, as a kid, that's who I went to the grocery store with.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  It'd be weird if you go with someone else.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  I used to go with Father Bill. What are you talking about?

• 32:40H. Foley?

  He wanted to know what I like for breakfast in the morning. He a Wheaties man?

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:44H. Foley?

  What? No, but you know, that, that influences how you look at grocery stores.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent. I-

• 32:52H. Foley?

  Did you ever go to the grocery store with your father? Did your father ever handle that?

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, the super, he loved going to the super. Oh, he had lived by himself. I mean, he was a single parent, he had to.

• 33:00H. Foley?

  Lot of pickles and canned tuna.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Lot of kosher pickles, we'd get it at Perrance Deli. Uh, yeah, no, he loved going to the super. He didn't like stocking up. Or he liked- He, we were at the Super Fresh a lot. He, he picked me up after school at my mom's. We gotta stop by Super, we're always stopping by Super Fresh. To the bane of my existence. And then me and my brother would hang out in the car, end up fist fighting in the car.

• 33:22H. Foley?

  Sure, sure.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  And if I come back and you two are fucking fighting, I swear to, I'll put your head through the window. Which he did a couple of times.

• 33:30H. Foley?

  That's a good time, man. A nice fight with your brother in the best seat of the car. In a hot car in a fucking supermarket parking lot?

• 33:36Speaker 01

  The worst was rainy, it was dark and rainy. You might as well, you might as well been in Nam, dude.

• 33:41H. Foley?

  Dampen the screams a little bit. No one's gonna hear ya. I probably went to-

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Cars just shaking from the, like, you zoom out.

• 33:49H. Foley?

  Not as an adult, obviously, cause my dad got older and like, if I would go to the, you know, like, could go with them just to whatever, you know, and mill around.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 33:57H. Foley?

  But as a kid, I was maybe in the grocery store once with my father. He never went. It was always my mom.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  I had never gone with my stepdad. I don't think my stepdad's ever been in a grocery store.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  Sure, but then every once in a while, my dad would go by himself and show up with the craziest shit. You've never seen in your-

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a one-legged turkey, you're like, what the hell was that?

• 34:22H. Foley?

  You work at a firehouse? Where the fuck-

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 34:25H. Foley?

  My mom would be like, what is this shit?

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Nah, I get that.

• 34:30H. Foley?

  Canned sandwiches, like, what?

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, yeah, they're good wet, what?

• 34:36Speaker 01

  It's a lot of juice.

• 34:37H. Foley?

  Ah, it was real sea ration shit.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Uh huh, um, this one's from Benny B Cups. "My first job was at a local supermarket bagging groceries and retrieving shopping carts. I was seventeen and briefly dated my twenty-one-year-old coworker," how you doing? He said that. "She later dumped me for a guy in the meat department, but she bought me a bottle of Malibu, so shout out to her, though." Listen.

• 35:03H. Foley?

  That was the summer of his life right there.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Ah, it don't get any better than that.

• 35:07H. Foley?

  Seventeen, twenty-one-year-old.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  She's probably playing a fist, she's working at the grocery store, she's playing a fist to lose.

• 35:13H. Foley?

  Fucking the meat guy, the deli guy.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Listen, the meat guy, meat and deli guys were always, and a lot of my friends worked as the meat and deli guy. Shout out to my boy Deli, we call him. Shout out to Deli. He's a meat guy. They're bad, they're, they're, they're at a rough point in their life.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  They're like the cooks in a restaurant. Those are the bad boys.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Not the chefs, they're not the head cook, they're like, yes, they're the cooks.

• 35:37H. Foley?

  The Bourdains, the fucking, yeah.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  They're the...

• 35:40H. Foley?

  The guy working the fryer.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Because there was always a butcher, there was a butcher who was forty-two, and he had trained to be a butcher, and that was his job, and it was a full-time gig for him, and he had Benny's. The other, the deli guy, because they had to be twenty-one.

• 35:53H. Foley?

  Had to have a little personality, too.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  I don't, they had to be twenty-one and be able to work nights, so it was like...

• 36:02H. Foley?

  Your parents don't give a shit about you.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, so it was like, you had to be over eighteen or twenty-one to work with knives or the deli slicer, so we could never do it as kids, getting jobs there. But my boy started working there probably when he was twenty.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  And I mean, yeah, you're...

• 36:20Speaker 01

  You're not immensive, that, you know what I mean, if you're working, and shout out to you, but those dudes were bad dudes. Those dudes were like, the cops coming and questioning people and stuff like that.

• 36:30H. Foley?

  The deli guys could beat me up, I don't know why.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  They were bad kid, they were bad dudes.

• 36:33H. Foley?

  I go to the, the guys, the guys that work the deli at the grocery we go to now, I'm fucking, they're probably fifteen years younger than me, I'm yes sir or no sir.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 36:42H. Foley?

  They'll fucking smash your head open.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  The guy, and for some reason, you liked when they, when they like you, when they know you.

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Salt of the earth people, they're giving you their approval.

• 36:52H. Foley?

  I just got the one guy to be like, "Hey man, good to see you again." "Good to see me again?"

• 36:57Speaker 01

  What time do you get off? You want a bottle of Malibu? That's a great, that's a great tale right there. That's good. My buddy, uh, he used to get there if he was working like a longer shift, get there, had a crock pot. Would take like the day old stuff, get a stew going, work all day. And then at night he'd have, you know, him and like the fucking seafood guys would get back there and you probably get all smoked up in a porking lot in his galant. And then go back in and chow down on, you know what I mean? A little lockbale soup. A little, a little French dip or something they had going on.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Man, they always had that white jacket on and like two pairs of pants because they're working, they're working in the cold. You know what I mean? They're back there in that cold meat room. That smell of uncooked meat too. You know what I don't like? You're in a morgue. One of the ones I go to the, I go to in a burbs, nice joint. The meat guy, he's back there, you see him in his little window and you do the, hey, you know, just like waiting, you're waiting. They have a phone that you pick up and it rings back there. You call him? You don't have to call, you just pick it up and that phone rings in there and then it- What? It's, I feel like I'm like calling in the nuke codes. I'm like, buddy, I'm just looking for a couple of beef patties. You gotta pick the phone up. Gotta lift the phone, then it rings back there and I'm like, he's closer to me and Luke.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  There's just like a window between us. Oh, that phone's disgusting. I'm like, no, it's only, it's not like, you know, he's not. But you have it like a, like a wall, like a landline? You have to, you have to pick it up? It's like that phone. It's that, it's that red phone. That's crazy. I know.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  That seems out of time. I know. At first I'm like, oh, this is pretty cool. Now I'm like, I'm calling the fucking meat guy for fucking, to get me two fucking hamburger patties? That I'm gonna burn and they're not gonna be good and I'm gonna get in a fight with my wife? Hi, is John home? It's Kevin. I get three pounds of chuck.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah, that's, uh, shout out to the meat guys. They're doing a lord's work. Meat and deli guys.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  You, uh...

• 39:03Speaker 01

  They're transients.

• 39:04H. Foley?

  Your mom had three kids in the house, two boys, two growing boys.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  What was the, uh, usual

• 39:12H. Foley?

  highest amount of deli meat that you would get? It would be a pound, right?

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Pound.

• 39:16H. Foley?

  Pound of turkey.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Pound of turkey.

• 39:17H. Foley?

  Pound of turkey, pound of cheese, half pound of cheese.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  No, pound, oh, cheese don't last. Pound, pound of turkey, pound of cheese, probably a half pound of ham. And then my stepdad would get his weird smelling shits that I didn't, I wasn't messing with. Stuff with eyeballs and stuff in it. Would fucking cook the, dude, it would cook the fridge for

• 39:36H. Foley?

  I just remember...

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Like two weeks. Come home for, come home from a week down the shore, open up the fridge. And it's like smoked so, something in there? Yikes. The eggs were bad. It would get through the shells.

• 39:48H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Adam and Eve, baby.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  I'm hard right now, gang.

• 39:52H. Foley?

  Let's talk about getting weird, baby. Gang, let's talk about Adam and Eve. Let's talk about Valentine's Day coming up. You gotta get something special to slam in your butthole. That's what the holidays are all about.

• 40:04Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 40:05H. Foley?

  Have a little fun in the bedroom. It's 2025. You, your partner, you, whatever.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Neighbor, anybody.

• 40:11H. Foley?

  Do yourself a favor, have a little fun. Get over to Adam and Eve, get a little toy.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, go to adamandeve.com/garbage and pick any four sex toys for just 20 bucks. Listen, the good folks at Adam and Eve want you to have a good time. They ain't happy unless you come, how you feeling? Uh, this is absolutely the best deal they've ever offered and you deserve the best for Valentine's Day. Listen, a lot of you has been, you got kids, you got this, you, you got work. Let's, uh, all that subside, go in the bedroom, close the door and knock a couple boos.

• 40:41H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Knock one out of the park. Uh, that's four toys for 20 bucks. That's something for everybody. Literally saving a hundred and seventy-five dollars, up to a hundred and seventy-five dollars with this exclusive offer. Take a look at adamandeve.com/garbage and see what four sex toys will be yours for just 20 bucks. Go to adamandeve.com/garbage. It's the only way to get this offer one more ti- time, adamandeve.com/garbage. Do it.

• 41:04H. Foley?

  I just remember as a kid, holding a pound of turkey, how big that was.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  It's a lot.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  In my thinner days, I would go and get a pound of the Buffalo Blazin' Chicken and a pound of cheese and just sit in my kitchen and crush roll up. I'd eat it all in the same day. Wouldn't shit for four or five days, but man, I was trim. Low carb kippy, they called me.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  High in nitrates, though.

• 41:33H. Foley?

  Living with Carl Cartman.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see. This one's from, uh, Roy Munson. You ever have a parent go grab something while you're in line by yourself? Woo, baby, that anxiety that you're gonna be on the hook for everything gets cooking.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Man, you, dude, I don't know what, they said they'd be right back, like you're like they're gonna send you to jail.

• 41:53H. Foley?

  We have that now. That literally just happened to me and the, and the bird the other day. And when it's me, she'll fucking disappear for 45 minutes. I was gone three seconds. She's fucking popping out like, she's almost done. God forbid. Same goddamn credit card.

• 42:13H. Foley?

  But then you gotta, then you fuck it up. You gotta go, then you close that out, you gotta go back for one thing.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  One more thing I hate. It's just like, we'll get it next time. If, if we're not eating it tonight, we'll get it next time. And you've, I'm a big, I'm also nuts, OCD, high strung, whatever, whatever you wanna call me. That was your opportunity. You've lost your opportunity. You didn't get everything you needed on the belt. You gotta double back or you don't get it. You don't get to jam everybody up.

• 42:39H. Foley?

  Nah, there was, yeah, obviously on like a Saturday or something like it's, yeah, yeah, no, of course. You gotta sneak through. Sorry, I'm actually, I'm with.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm with him. You ain't sneaking nowhere. Those, those New York City lines are tight.

• 42:52H. Foley?

  But when your mom would disappear, I remember being like, is she ever coming back? Like, is this, is this just how it is?

• 42:58Speaker 01

  This one guy Xavier said, ever actually have to pay for the groceries while your mom went to grab another item she forgot? I was about eight and had to tell the cashier the PIN because I was too short to type it in. That's tough.

• 43:10H. Foley?

  She leaves you with the card, that's pretty good.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  I'll give you that.

• 43:12H. Foley?

  Patty would never do that.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  That's a dirtbag, but I respect that.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Give your little kid, don't tell anybody the code. One, two, three, four. Fake them out. It's four, three, two, one.

• 43:24Speaker 01

  One, one, one, one, one. They'll never get it. That checkout line though, as a kid was a, you know, like you said, it now, it now shaped how you handle it now. They were high, strong, high, intense, you know, I remember my mom writing the checkout, telling them to, you know, post it, you know, don't cash it till Friday type thing.

• 43:43H. Foley?

  Man, watching my mom write out a check.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  There was seven, I remember as you had to go through, I remember, I remember going through cashier training, like I was training to be, they were treating it like I was training to be in the CIA. Like, what are the seven things you need to check on a check to make sure it's like a, I don't know. There's seven things you have to go through though. The line, the this, different, you're like, buddy, why am I the, why am I the, the, the front line against check fraud here? Can't we get a guy from the bank to come here? They take a look at this with a magnifying glass?

• 44:17H. Foley?

  Oh shit about that, okay, wow.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were like, you cannot accept a fucking...

• 44:22H. Foley?

  I couldn't tell you if a check was real or fake now.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  I worked at a lot of checks afterwards, I had to write, I worked in, paying a lot of people's bills, so it's like, I know the, and like accounts would get hit for fraud and you would see like the, but that's after years of like, writing 50 checks a day or whatever, and like managing bank accounts. But, 16, I'm living in my fucking, I'm tugging my root in my fucking mom's house and, you know, and I'm like, I got a big case, big fraud case going on down at the Acme.

• 44:50H. Foley?

  Handling wire fraud.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, what are we doing, running through that, running through the machine, it prints on the back?

• 44:56H. Foley?

  I like the pen, check the bill.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 44:59H. Foley?

  You know, the pen, you check the bill.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Check the bill?

• 45:02H. Foley?

  Check the, the hundred dollar bill.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Ah, the marker, I never did that. You get me, you get me, what are we doing here? They'll figure this out.

• 45:12H. Foley?

  Live around here?

• 45:13Speaker 01

  No, we would get a, yeah, we'd get, you know, you'd get people coming in with the EBT.

• 45:19H. Foley?

  Roll it up and do a line with it, see if it feels right?

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Nah, this is fake.

• 45:25H. Foley?

  Bad luck too.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  What was, ours were, the Pennsylvania was WIC cards. Was the food stamps. I think it was called Women in... Women and Children in Need or something, it was WIC.

• 45:34H. Foley?

  Jammed up broads.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Jammed up broads, but that went to everybody. WIC, I think, was, ended up for everybody. It started Women and...

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Women, infants and children.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Women, infants and children.

• 45:41H. Foley?

  Oh, that's cute.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they would come through and I'd... They'd be trying to buy something that wasn't fucking... On it, and yeah, and now I'm like, I'm too young to be... Telling this broad she can't get black olives or whatever, you know what I mean? Because they'd go, "No, this should..."

• 45:57H. Foley?

  Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  They'd go, "This should be on." I'm like, "I'm sorry, but it's not."

• 46:01H. Foley?

  What, there was only certain items?

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Certain items are, qualify for, for, yeah, I mean, you can't just get... Food stamps and then just buy whatever the fuck. There's like, it's certain... Things, like, I don't think prepared foods are, or something like, I forget, I don't have all the rules. But not everything in the supermarket qualifies to be bought... With food stamps.

• 46:20H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  There's certain, I'm sure each state's different. I'm sure like, you know.

• 46:25H. Foley?

  You'd be fucking handling that?

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Well, then it, because the, the computer, it would all be in the computer system. So I would ring up, let's say... Rice was, but...

• 46:35H. Foley?

  The order's rice, shredded cheese.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Shredded cheese.

• 46:37H. Foley?

  Fruit punch.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Fruit punch is it.

• 46:39H. Foley?

  And a rotisserie chicken.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Maybe soda's wearin', or something like that, because it's like, sure, it's not like a necessity type thing. So let's, I'm making this up. Let's say soda's wearin'. I'd ring it through and they go... "Hey, well, you run the WIC card," and they go, "All right, well, you now have a dollar balance of... Fourteen dollars." And they're like... "How?" And I'm like... "Here's the rece..." Now, I'm negotiating, like... I'm like, "This is, can we get a caseworker in here to go over this?"

• 47:03H. Foley?

  I don't have to tell you, lady.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, lady, I don't give a fuck.

• 47:06H. Foley?

  All sleepy from the pizza you had for lunch?

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, meanwhile, I just crushed a chicken parm down at Piccolo's. Shout out to Piccolo's. That was big. Crushing heaters, man, that fifteen minute break. Did you get a half hour break, and if you worked eight hours, you get a half hour, and I think two fifteens, or one fifteen? I would take that fifteen strung out over today, though. Poppin' out for one. See, you cover me? Poppin' out.

• 47:31H. Foley?

  Who would man your, your post?

• 47:33Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 47:34H. Foley?

  Because wouldn't they be, would you have to call somebody to the front?

• 47:37Speaker 01

  You have to tell them, hey, can I, so it's say it's like...

• 47:39H. Foley?

  You'd close your lane.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, close your lane, or some, somebody might come tag you out. And you, you check out and they check in. But if you're closing for fifteen, maybe the, maybe the manager would cover for you? But if not, they'd open someone else up.

• 47:52H. Foley?

  Be real dick about it, too.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 47:54H. Foley?

  Yeah. Alright, but hurry up! What age did you go out for heater breaks?

• 47:58Speaker 01

  Sixteen.

• 47:59H. Foley?

  Sixteen?

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:00H. Foley?

  How foreign is this to you?

• 48:04Speaker 01

  I remember this. Man, I remember, this is, I was a young kid and it was a woman, single parent, working there with us. Debbie or something. And man, she would sleep in her cavalier every chance she got out in the parking lot. And we'd be like, "Now I get it. You're fucking jammed up." You're fucking... But I was a sixteen-year-old kid, you know what I mean? I'm like, "I'm like this poor broad. I'm like, 'Go home. Call off. Go get some eight hours. It's probably your second job.'" She'd come in at like...

• 48:32H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, talk about fucking hustling to make it work, but I remember being like...

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Dealing with your fat ass.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, me being like, "Can I take my break before you?" You know what I mean? Like...

• 48:42H. Foley?

  I gotta party, you know?

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, me and my boys are like, you know, "I'll get a sixer, you get a sixer, roll me the, you know..." Meanwhile, this broad's fucking...

• 48:51H. Foley?

  Bum.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  You know, keeping the lights on and the plates spinning.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this one's from Slippin' Jimmy. "Y'all ever bought a lobster from that tank?" Which, they stopped, right? Due to like PETA stuff?

• 49:06Speaker 01

  Like, I think it's like animal cruelty, they stopped those tanks. But that made me think that question. As a cashier, I ain't never seen, nobody ever bought a lobster.

• 49:14H. Foley?

  Sounds like adopting a teenager.

• 49:18H. Foley?

  Those things were in there forever.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I never knew anybody, I never saw anybody buy them.

• 49:24H. Foley?

  Tanks are still around.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  They're still around.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  Lobster tanks at the grocery store? Yeah. Yeah, they are. I think I've seen one.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  I know they see, I think they got rid of a lot of them, though.

• 49:32H. Foley?

  The diner that near me used to have one for a long time.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Remember that'd be restaurants, just how you'd go in and go, "I want that." You go into like a fucking...

• 49:39H. Foley?

  A restaurant's different. That's nice. Seafood joint? That's nice. Anything like that, my dad was always shifty about, so he'd go to fucking, like a Captain Chucky's type. He'd go to like a seafood...

• 49:51Speaker 01

  Sure, you'd go to a more specialty place to get that if you were getting it.

• 49:53H. Foley?

  Stop at the seafood store and be like, "Ugh, fuck."

• 49:56Speaker 01

  They did that, I remember...

• 49:57H. Foley?

  Belly full of candy, go in there, that place smells like low tide.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, we would go to, not Rick's, American Seafood or something. It was down on Route 1 in the boulevard, uh... Street Road in the Boulevard. American Seafood or something.

• 50:09H. Foley?

  It'd be real busy around the holidays.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd bushel of crabs. Be eating crab in September like a fucking bozo. Getting sick and shit. Um...

• 50:20H. Foley?

  Right in the backseat, right in the backseat of a car. I would have pulled you over. With that wooden bed skin next to you. It's leaking. Waiting for one of those guys to make a move on you. You look over the top, goes that real quick. And plotting something.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  One's popping up.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  It's like Toy Story, they're all plotting behind you.

• 50:43H. Foley?

  You're the first one to get it. I didn't like that at all.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  I used to judge the people on the, I used to, alright, this is, this is like, obviously like never really having money. Yeah, well, you know, people come through, somebody's rich. It was in more of an affluent town for sure, Newtown, Pennsylvania.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  What, you talking about the seafood joint?

• 51:06Speaker 01

  No, the Acme that I worked at.

• 51:08H. Foley?

  Right, okay.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  It was at, you know, there was a higher end clientele.

• 51:12H. Foley?

  Oh, seeing how like my friends with parents money shopped, it was nuts.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  When I come through and I'd be like 380 and like they would, 380 bucks, they wouldn't even bat, uh, here hon, here's the card. And you're like, and I used to judge people if they did debit or credit. If they did debit, I go, whoa, you got 280 bucks just sitting there.

• 51:31H. Foley?

  Liquid.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Just sitting in there like that? You don't need 30 days to figure this out? I'd go debit or credit.

• 51:38H. Foley?

  What, are you selling this?

• 51:39Speaker 01

  Or sometime, and I still, I've stolen the line now when they ask you. But I remember one guy hit me and I go debit or credit, he goes, it don't matter. And I went, woo, this guy don't even frigging care.

• 51:50H. Foley?

  You got a helicopter outside, mister?

• 51:53Speaker 01

  It don't matter, I'm like, it don't matter. Yeah, just like, whatever. Just coming through, he's just buying like cases of soda and you're like, man, you probably got some fat ass kids I'd like to hang out with. You're probably gonna, you're gonna go home, you're gonna drop off all this food and then order pizza probably.

• 52:13H. Foley?

  It's going, those savages are going right into the garage fridge.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Uh huh, just like, just like a hot, older woman, right? Not, I mean, she's probably my age at this point, you know?

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Late 30s, whatever, 40.

• 52:25H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  And, uh, you know, just like, re- you know, just, nice clothes, good tan, she just came from the tanning salon or whatever. And just like, she's got like the fu-

• 52:35H. Foley?

  She ain't a rush.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  She's got like a navigator key, when the keys are always like around the finger, like, "Ah, yeah, hon, I got it."

• 52:41H. Foley?

  Smells real good.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Woo! Probably, I, I, I-

• 52:46H. Foley?

  Not like the chip beef. Chip beef cologne you're wearing.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  I'm in my dad's old pants.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  Or like, hot girl's parents would come in, "Hi, Mrs. So-and-so, you know, how you doing?"

• 53:03H. Foley?

  Kathy still not wanna talk to me?

• 53:07H. Foley?

  I don't know why you's never come over. Uh, she thinks I'm gross.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  You still see her around? Dude, also talking about how big of a dirtbag.

• 53:17H. Foley?

  Hey, hold on, you're asking the mom if you still see your daughter around?

• 53:20Speaker 01

  She's asking me, I gotta lie?

• 53:24H. Foley?

  I thought you were asking the mom.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Ever since she started hanging out with the cool kids.

• 53:30H. Foley?

  Wait, that's what you would say?

• 53:31Speaker 01

  No.

• 53:31H. Foley?

  Fucking dork.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Also, just as like, as big of a dirtbag as my crew was, one of us got a job at a supermarket, we were all like, "That's the best thing I've ever heard." Dude, me, my boy, me and my bo- my two boys, Justin and Justin, worked at the Acme. Then 10 feet away, there was a Genardi's, and Patton, Flip, and my, my boy James all worked there. So it was like, dude, we had the neighborhood on lock. We thought we were the fucking...

• 53:59H. Foley?

  Oh my god, I control black olives in this town.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  You get wop, yeah, we'd argue, like, "I get, I get 925 an hour, but you don't get two breaks."

• 54:08H. Foley?

  Which I would-

• 54:09Speaker 01

  You're not in a union.

• 54:10H. Foley?

  I would assume-

• 54:10Speaker 01

  I was a Teamster for a minute.

• 54:12H. Foley?

  You're not a black olive guy, right?

• 54:14Speaker 01

  I'm not an olive guy.

• 54:15H. Foley?

  Huh. You get them at the night, a nice plate of table with the little olive.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  I don't touch them.

• 54:19H. Foley?

  Really?

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 54:20H. Foley?

  And you weren't eating black olives out of a can as a kid?

• 54:23Speaker 01

  I'm not doing that now.

• 54:24H. Foley?

  I used to crush them.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Nah, that's crazy.

• 54:26H. Foley?

  My dad would eat them like chips. He would just crack open a thing of that and put them in a bowl and just be popping them while watching TV.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  Alright, let's see here. This one, this is, this is from Taylor, $10 home you never had one read. I strongly feel that when it comes to the cookie cracker and chip aisles.

• 54:40H. Foley?

  Hold on. Cookie cracker and chip aisle.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  You put yourself there?

• 54:44H. Foley?

  I'm with you.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  That every supermarket should have taste testers for each one instead of buying a whole box and you end up eating it. I get that with the crackers. Chips, you should know.

• 54:54H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 54:56Speaker 01

  I don't get what you don't understand.

• 54:58H. Foley?

  You got your Toll House, you got your Ritz. You got your Wheat Thins.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  But there's now 10 different versions of each one of those.

• 55:04H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, you, listen, you want to start getting in the fucking garden tomato or fucking salsa this. That's, you're, that, you're on your own.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  No, you should have a tester where you could just pull it out. You got testers for everything else, all fragrance or whatever.

• 55:16H. Foley?

  Well, in the, and they're-

• 55:17Speaker 01

  A tester box where you go, alright, just pull this.

• 55:19H. Foley?

  To their credit, if, if they're launching one of those things, say Wheat Thins has, you know, um, ranch Wheat Thins, low-fat ranch Wheat Thins, they'll have them in a little thing up front in some broad town you had or over in the cookie cracker aisle.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:34H. Foley?

  It's a new flavor.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  I know, but I'm just saying, you should, I mean, we're, this is, we're grown humans in a society. You should be able to walk by, pull one Triscuit and go, nah, that's not for me. I want to do this one. You're getting cheeses and meats, what, what, you know, what's the best goes with what? You can, you can, you can sample the deli meat, sliced thin.

• 55:50H. Foley?

  A slice.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm taking a cracker. I'm not there setting up a charcuterie board. I'm just taking it, you know.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  Think, what if, okay, what if they-

• 55:57Speaker 01

  And if I've had it before, I'm not testing-

• 55:59H. Foley?

  What if they had an open box there?

• 56:00Speaker 01

  Nah, it's gotta be some sort of regulation on it. You know what I mean? Some sort of oversight. Somebody there, an old woman there.

• 56:07H. Foley?

  Just an open box.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Hey hon, we just got these in, you might like it.

• 56:13H. Foley?

  You think they're paying for that?

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Who?

• 56:15H. Foley?

  They're taking away the register people. They're not fucking putting greeters in there.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  I'm, hey buddy, we don't own a grocery store that we're trying to meet-

• 56:21H. Foley?

  And who's hiring them?

• 56:22Speaker 01

  That we're trying to meet ends meet. I'm saying in a fantasy land, we should have that.

• 56:26H. Foley?

  I think maybe Wheat Thins should apply that.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Also, wouldn't you know, you're worried about the payroll and the overhead expenses on this?

• 56:30H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 56:32H. Foley?

  Keep an eye on it.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  Um, hmm.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  I think Wheaton should apply that. They should have somebody from corporate.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  I don't give a fuck.

• 56:39H. Foley?

  Guy in a suit and tie, somebody I trust.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  That's a good idea. That's, there's no cooking involved. You just, and there's a thousand friggin' things. Just go get me one of them.

• 56:47H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  Let me pop in there, wet my whistle a little bit. Also, you're there with the broad, you know, you haven't eaten in a while.

• 56:55H. Foley?

  You got a slice of cheese in the middle of it?

• 56:58Speaker 01

  I'm running back and forth between the deli and there.

• 57:00H. Foley?

  This is a dumb ques- you've made a cracker sandwich before, right?

• 57:02Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 57:03H. Foley?

  Like a cracker with cheese and a piece of meat in between two crackers? You've done this.

• 57:08Speaker 01

  I love it. I love it.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  I love it. It's, I mean, I could, I would exclusively, I feel so fancy when I stand at my kitchen counter and I do that. I feel fancy when I do it with peanut butter. I still do that. And I top it. Oh, you gotta top it. You gotta put a lid on it.

• 57:30H. Foley?

  I assume this wasn't you, but as a kid, a peanut butter and jelly in between two, uh, like, Ritz or something like that?

• 57:39Speaker 01

  I would, I mean, I would just do pure peanut butter and I would take the gallon of milk out to the TV. I take every, all, All of the raw materials come out to the coffee table. I pull it into me real close. I set up, and I'd probably make about five to start. And I get excited while I'm making the five. And I put a lid on them, each one. I'm a goddamn job. Cause if you don't, if you're doing just peanut butter and you don't put a lid on it, it sticks to the roof of your mouth. I need a barrier so I can get a good chew going. And then the amount of milk I crush with that. They're, then the peanut butter's getting on my fingers. It forms a film on the glass. There's floaters going and I'm all over the, it's, I'd never do that in front of company. I wouldn't do it in front of my wife. Dumb broad.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  But if you got like a little piece of sausage, like that like summer sausage or would I go like a piece of cold kielbasa? And like some fucking sharp cheddar cheese, a couple of wheat thins, maybe a dab of Dijon.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  There's a great company like Delmonico or Del- Del something. I could not be that-

• 58:42H. Foley?

  Wait, that does the, the, the, the ready-made board?

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Nah, that's, that's, that's whack shit.

• 58:47H. Foley?

  Fucking rip that thing off.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  I don't get to control my cheese thickness and stuff like that. I don't like that, but I don't mind it. Trust me.

• 58:55H. Foley?

  Sometimes it's wild when those things don't go crackers.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  One to one.

• 58:58H. Foley?

  It's nuts. I got four crackers left over. What the fuck am I doing with them?

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's, trust me, they don't get me st- I gotta tell you, they don't, don't get me st- I have a whole OCD.

• 59:06H. Foley?

  I'm out of pepperoni, like an asshole.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  As a guy who loves cured meat, carbs, and has OCD, that thing's my nightmare board, dude. Um...

• 59:13H. Foley?

  They throw in some crazens in there?

• 59:14Speaker 01

  There's, they, they make perfectly cut little things. And they're like, it's like higher end, it feels. They're like, they'll just sausages or little pieces of salami or whatever, slightly, they're the size of a nickel, like a quarter maybe. Man, you crack that bag open, you, you, you, you govern your cheese as you like and your crackers? Ooh!

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Maybe top it with a piece of Hormel pepperoni? Ain't telling me nothing.

• 59:41H. Foley?

  For a little spice?

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Salami and cheezits go great together. Wow, I don't like doing that. Wow.

• 59:48H. Foley?

  One, I'm surprised you're a salami guy.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  I'm surprised he's a cheesy guy.

• 59:51H. Foley?

  Big salami, I was a big salami and cheese kid as a sandwich growing up and I would press it down and like, like, like smush it.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  I never liked that.

• 1:00:01H. Foley?

  Roll it out with a-

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  I remember seeing a kid, I remember seeing a kid's baloney sandwich and, and you couldn't even see the bread in the middle. It was like, it went bread sala- or bread baloney. And I was just like, there's no bread. It's completely dissolved in the middle. It's crazy. I'm like, you're just gonna eat that and like not go home and yell at your mom? That's wild.

• 1:00:23H. Foley?

  I liked it. I was, I respect that. Cheezits and salami.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see, let's crush through a few more here. This one's from Jenna. $10 hoagie. Is it garbage to watch your buddy huff two cans of whipped cream at a stop and shop and then immediately pass out in the aisle?

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  That's the guy who ain't worried about tasting crackers.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  That's from abroad, by the way. That girl's name was Jenna.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Ah, listen.

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  You think there would be more of that?

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  You, as somebody who worked at a gro- you would, you would find, and people would, people would whack them. They, you find them in a bathroom, in the bathroom, uh, trash can and stuff, you would find them.

• 1:01:03H. Foley?

  I'm surprised there's not a, like, you know, like, people storming the CVS, they steal stuff, people storming the liquor store, steal liquor? That is the, if you're an addict, that is immediate, get fucked up on the spot. Just run in there. It's gonna take a couple, as long as there's nobody stocking in there, they're putting the eggs away or something like that. If you got a clear dairy aisle, you could probably get down like five cans of that before someone comes in.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  I don't think you're shopping in bad enough neighborhoods. Those bad, and those, those, those rough-

• 1:01:33H. Foley?

  You think they're locked up?

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  I know that, we used to have my-

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  They're locking up the ready whip?

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Not locked up, but listen, so you wa- I used to, we used to work at the ShopRite on Aramingo Avenue. In Port Richmond, Kensington, whatever, it's right on the fucking line there. And that was, dude, their security in that place, people would rip the, they come in, they try to rip the toilets off the wall and shit and scrap them. Dude, the security in that place is like White House level security. They clock everybody coming in, they got like facial recognition, so I think, if, in a neighborhood, if there's enough people who are, need to walk in and do whipits, they got eyes on you.

• 1:02:09H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  They're clocking you. Sure, you go to a nice, go to a nice suburb, you can go in there and start cooking meth in the, in the, in the, in the cold and flu section if you want to, but, at, at those dicier ones, I think they got-

• 1:02:23H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  They got muscle on you.

• 1:02:25H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Uh, this one's the same, Randy, this is from Bogart, $10 bird fan, never had one read, uh, "Ever been arrested from the grocery store you worked at for public intoxication? Buddy had left me some moonshine in the walk-in freezer and said, 'Help yourself.' Let's just say I was blacked out in an hour and was found in the back sleeping. Mind you, I was 16, buddy was like 25."

• 1:02:48H. Foley?

  That's fucked up, they called the cops on you? Get arrested there?

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  It's probably, if, they probably called the, they probably called 911 to get an ambulance.

• 1:02:57H. Foley?

  This kid's fucked up.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  The cops are showing up.

• 1:02:59H. Foley?

  Won't wake up.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Cops, yeah, you know, I get that.

• 1:03:03H. Foley?

  That was always when shit got real. I remember a couple of kids being yanked out of high school for being drunk or fucking doing dust off or something.

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Sure. One kid, I've had to-

• 1:03:13H. Foley?

  Talk about killing the vibe.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  Kid took ten uppers and ten downers to see if they'd cancel out. Never heard from them again.

• 1:03:20H. Foley?

  Got a fourteen hundred on his SATs that afternoon.

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  Could name every president, forward and backward. Uh, alright, let's go with this from Screaming Cold, uh... "Ten dollar Kohl's cash, you ever put food from the hot bar in a clear produce bag and weigh it as something else at the self-checkout? Buffalo wings look a lot like clementines, but for a fraction of the price."

• 1:03:45H. Foley?

  That's fucking nasty.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  That is dirtbag level, that's crazy dude.

• 1:03:51H. Foley?

  Hot bag of wings?

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  I don't think I could eat-

• 1:03:53H. Foley?

  Hey, that's thin plastic, that had to stretch from the heat a little bit.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  He said you gotta double bag, he did say you have to double bag. But, I mean, listen.

• 1:04:03H. Foley?

  I don't use those a lot, and I get a look when I don't use them.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:04:06H. Foley?

  Like, I'll just put the three avocados on the belt, or the three limes on the belt or whatever.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  My white, to me it's a European, to me it's like a European thing, I think that they, they don't use them. And I think they look at it as wasteful, Americans are like, you don't need to- They feel we use too many bags, I feel we don't use enough bags, to me.

• 1:04:23H. Foley?

  I like a good bag.

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  Being honest with you.

• 1:04:25H. Foley?

  I like a good, I like the shopping bag that you get when you leave.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  Big fan of all bags.

• 1:04:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  Not those.

• 1:04:31Speaker 01

  So I've gotten accustomed to just throwing it in the car, and I drives me- Then you, then you, you put it in the car-

• 1:04:38H. Foley?

  Like you're in a sitcom, you're going to a market.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  I know, you put it in the car, you take a hard left out of the park, and I actually, you know, all your apples all over the backseat, and I'm a, I'm just sitting there like a J.O.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 1:04:51H. Foley?

  That's a wild move with the wings.

• 1:04:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's not, I mean, hey, hats off to you, do what you gotta do.

• 1:04:57H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Um...

• 1:04:59H. Foley?

  Oh, those aren't Spanish onions, I'm sorry.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  This one's from Tom. Are you garbage if you eat lunch in the dining area of the supermarket without shopping for groceries? My local store's killer, wings for cheap, and I'll go to dine in. I also respect that.

• 1:05:11H. Foley?

  I don't hate it, man.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  I've done that.

• 1:05:13H. Foley?

  I see people, we have, we have a little eating section next to the hot bar at the place we go to. I tell you what, it looks like in, in, in the afternoon, on a nice sunny day, someone's just sitting down there having lunch.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:26H. Foley?

  I love it. Like, man, I'd like to sit and join you guys.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  It's, I-

• 1:05:30H. Foley?

  There's some weird toys scattered around.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. As a, uh, in New York, that, with Whole Foods.

• 1:05:36H. Foley?

  Oh, that's, yeah.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  You're eating, kinda, you're trying to stay relatively healthy and not go get pizza.

• 1:05:42H. Foley?

  On the cheap, too.

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  Relative cheap, you go hit that hot bar, and then you could just, you just pull, I mean-

• 1:05:47H. Foley?

  But it can't be, oh, that's too nice, Whole Foods. Nah, it's gotta be a regular grocery.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Nah, they're not nice anymore. Dude, that's, that's like a truck stop.

• 1:05:53H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  Oh, it's homeless people are set up, it's like, they're peeing in newspaper. You're, you're fighting for your life in there sometimes. It ain't, it ain't great. It ain't great.

• 1:06:04H. Foley?

  Some guy peeing in a high-top.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Uh, this one's just funny. This is from Stu, this one's from Stu Goen. That's pretty good. Uh, broke my foot in a food line doing the thriller dance in flip flops and some broad jumped on my back.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:06:23H. Foley?

  That's a good time. It was a summer night right there.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  I get that. You're having fun, you're a little zany, it's cool in there, that comes on, cuz that's what they're playing. And you sit. You're going down that cracker aisle, got one too many rits in ya.

• 1:06:37H. Foley?

  Killing it.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Uh, that's alright.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  This is from Joey the Lips. Is it garbage if the butcher at the grocery store used to hit on your mom? I told you, those meat guys, dude. You better, you gotta keep them on a short leash, they're gonna get ya. They gonna get ya.

• 1:06:53H. Foley?

  Serving the meat. How you doing, buddy?

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Alright, we gotta wrap it up, though, gang.

• 1:06:59H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death. What a fun one.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:07:01H. Foley?

  Can I say that?

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  I'm loving, and as, as a lot of the feedback, the first one we did was the cops, this one's supermarket, we're doing a little more. Comment whatever theme you want us to focus on.

• 1:07:10H. Foley?

  Gang, we love ya. Grab tickets to the live shows, check us out on Spotify, check out the Patreon, and we will see you next week. Peace.