Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!

Watch the AYG Route 66 Tour Special this Tuesday 2/25 on the AYG YouTube Channel! Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www. BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Kip, you see this? We got this Route 66 special dropping.

• 0:03Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man. We got the live shows from every city on the tour, plus the boys on the bus seeing this great country of ours. It's dropping February 25th on our YouTube page. Make sure you tune into the live premiere.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:36H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Hey, yeah.

• 0:43H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  And just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new addition. Unfortunately, we are not gonna see her for a little bit.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  Just go on a trip with the girls.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:02H. Foley?

  Go down to Cancun, relax, she's fine.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05H. Foley?

  She wants to stretch her wings a little bit. She wants to go down there, get nailed. I don't know what she does down there.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  So what you doing, Cancun?

• 1:11H. Foley?

  I don't know what we doing. Spring break's right around the corner, you know what I'm saying? My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode here at Tootie's. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman, and I believe he just got shot down for a car loan. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  It's still pending, but it ain't looking great.

• 1:35H. Foley?

  It ain't bad credit, it's not enough credit.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  What up?

• 1:37H. Foley?

  Not bad.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube and now Spotify. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. But even more important, www.youtube/areyougarbage. You go over there for the Route 66 Tour Special that is dropping. If you're listening to this today, tomorrow, February 25th, live premiere, YouTube. Get in there, we're gonna be in the chat.

• 2:04H. Foley?

  Red carpet, whole nine yards.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Cracking away. We get the red carpet here.

• 2:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Couple of beer, couple of sandwich trays.

• 2:10H. Foley?

  Do a stained carpet. How do you got that ready to go?

• 2:12Speaker 01

  This carpet, this carpet's bad news.

• 2:14H. Foley?

  We couldn't be more excited for this, gang. We are so proud of the Route 66 tour. As you know, we started in Chicago. We went all the way to, uh, Los Angeles. 11 days, nine shows, eight cities, the boys on the bus, all the behind the scenes stuff.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:27H. Foley?

  Stopping along the way, just getting a sense of what we call America.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Little Americana, man.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  Little slice of the forgotten highway out there.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 2:41H. Foley?

  That ain't bad. The forgotten highway.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Walt Whitman over here.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  You gonna charge me a toll?

• 2:51Speaker 01

  That's the only poet I know. That and like, uh, you know, Gary Frost or something.

• 2:55H. Foley?

  Robert Frost.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  More time, we'll be back with that.

• 2:57H. Foley?

  Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Sure. Is that when you're doing blow by yourself in the backyard? The woods on a snowy evening?

• 3:04H. Foley?

  Stopping by the pizza joint after a couple of beers is more like it.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 3:09H. Foley?

  What, nothing on that?

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Cornball.

• 3:12H. Foley?

  You don't like a slice late night fatty?

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Um...

• 3:16H. Foley?

  Mr. Vodka Slice over here?

• 3:18Speaker 01

  You been talking. No, listen, my, my, my transgressions at a pizza parlor, neither here nor there, we're there to, we're here to talk about goddamn road trips and a Route 66 special.

• 3:25H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Which, gang, um, one of the, we've mentioned it before, but, you know, we kinda started out this whole, are you garbage was just a fucking have fun. Uh, we're really bad with money. We put a lot of money into this thing. We're not fucking trying to sell, we're not doing anything. A lot of people didn't even return the calls. Maybe we would entertain it. Let's go right out to the fucking, right out to you guys. We need you guys to, as you always have, help us fucking share this thing, catapult this thing, be in the live chat. Tell your friends, share it. It's a lot of... It's a fucking slice of America, as the big man was saying. It's like, we did Chicago, which is a big city. You know, you see dirtbags from Chicago. You got St. Louis, and we go to Cuba, Missouri, which is Cuba, Cuba, Missouri, which is like...

• 4:09H. Foley?

  Missouri.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Missouri, man. That's a bad part of town.

• 4:13H. Foley?

  Not a week on that bus, you'd have been talking like a hillbilly.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Uh, we go to Cuba, Missouri, which is like, you know, a town of like 500 people. We met a bunch of people there, hung out with them, did no show, just hanging. There's a lot of like, cool aspects of America, which we had, which I hadn't seen up until that point. You know what I mean? Like, cruising through the desert like that, Albuquerque...

• 4:33H. Foley?

  Ain't never seen the sun come up over the Hoover Dam.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, Vegas, I mean, they just like, there's like the desert trash, there's, you know, Midwest trash, and like, everything in between, and just, you know, there is this like, fiber that connects us all in a corny way, but it was very cool to see that throughout, you know, from start to finish. We've done other tours, where it's been like, we fly here for a couple day, be bop scat, but this was like, this fucking...

• 4:55H. Foley?

  We were in it, baby.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  This big journey through the, through the middle of the country, and it was really cool, and, you know, shout out to everybody that came out to the shows. Hopefully you see yourself on there, because we play AYG with the crowd, as you seen before. So, it's, it's footage from every show, it was really cool.

• 5:07H. Foley?

  Lot of bozos and homies making cameos in this thing.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  You ain't lying. Also, also, we've had...

• 5:13H. Foley?

  All rights reserved.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  All rights reserved, you all sign releases. We also had someone else writing, go, "Hey, could you not include that? I was not on my best behavior," which, big guy, you were included, up until that moment.

• 5:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, good thing we saw that.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Because we were watching, we're like, "We gotta include this guy." And then like, 15 minutes later, he'd be like, "Dude, do not put that in the..."

• 5:31H. Foley?

  But, as we always say here, Tooties, you protect the innocent.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Always protect the innocent, for sure.

• 5:37H. Foley?

  Very excited for everybody to see it, we really are.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:39H. Foley?

  Couldn't be more proud of it. Think you guys are gonna love it.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Yes, uh...

• 5:42H. Foley?

  Game changer.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Uh, yes, Tuesday, uh, if you're listening, February 25th, we're gonna be in the live chat, mixing it up. Me, Big Man, New Guy Luke, we're all gonna be watching the premiere together. Uh, you know, join in there, we'd like to really get as much... Let's put the fucking garbage thrusters behind this thing. Let's fucking light the goddamn candle.

• 6:01H. Foley?

  Show these pussies.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Uh, also, since we've been so jazzed on road trips, as you know, uh, we started thinking about getting a conversion van, which we're very close. I filled out a credit application last night. Right, so... The business is buying it, but I gotta...

• 6:18H. Foley?

  Why didn't you put me on there? You said you had to put your name... You should put the kid on there.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  What do you mean? Why do I have to do this for you?

• 6:24H. Foley?

  I'm just saying, you want to put a little star power on it. My credit just went up 17 points. I just got a notice from Credit Mission.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Does it tie to your cholesterol?

• 6:37Speaker 01

  No, so I... Listen, my credit's fine. It's good, it's considered good.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  What are you sitting at?

• 6:41Speaker 01

  My credit?

• 6:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  About 7 now.

• 6:43H. Foley?

  About 7?

• 6:44Speaker 01

  7, 704, 705, something like that.

• 6:46H. Foley?

  What about you, Twinkle Toes?

• 6:47Speaker 03

  Like 750.

• 6:48H. Foley?

  Look at you, huh? What credit do you have, though?

• 6:53Speaker 03

  AMX, baby.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  I think that's our card.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  Um, so I had to apply, talk to the guy out there. Uh, should we do a plug?

• 7:02H. Foley?

  You get on the phone with somebody?

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Got on the phone with a closer.

• 7:04H. Foley?

  Oh, let's see if he makes it happen.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Old-school closer.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  Freddie Beans you were talking to.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Shout out to Fred Beans in Doylestown, a Bucks County guy. I get chopping it up with him. This is Rick...

• 7:14H. Foley?

  That should be 10% off the ARP, whatever it is.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  Something. Freddie, call me.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  But, you know...

• 7:21H. Foley?

  If you get shot down, I'll do it.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  You know, it's kind of...

• 7:24H. Foley?

  Plus, I got Patty, too. You got Patty in the pocket.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  I shouldn't get shot down. I mean, I'm a...

• 7:29H. Foley?

  Have you seen your eyebrows lately?

• 7:30Speaker 01

  I'm pushing 40. I should be able to get a car, right?

• 7:33H. Foley?

  I don't think I'll be...

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Like, that's crazy. If I get denied a car... I mean, I did get denied that Lincoln not too long ago. That was about a year... Yeah, it was about 14. I did get denied a Lincoln. Damn, that was... Dude, I had to walk out of there because I didn't even have a car. I had to walk down the street and wait for an Uber.

• 7:48H. Foley?

  Still trying to play hardball?

• 7:51Speaker 01

  I was a bad... Okay, now thinking about it, I might not get this car.

• 7:54H. Foley?

  We'll see what happens.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  We'll see what happens.

• 7:56H. Foley?

  You got tooties behind it, so...

• 7:57Speaker 01

  I should be able to get a car loan. Whatever, we'll see.

• 8:01H. Foley?

  Put the Buck Hunter up. Don't tell him it's broken.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Don't tell him it's broken.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  We got the cooler fixed.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, a lot of improvements we're doing around here. Um, but, uh, so that should be landing. Nice guy, great... Get on the phone, I go, "Listen, buddy." And then he's like, you know, "What do you do?" I'm like, "Ah, come here." He's like, "What are you gonna use? Why is it..." Or he's like... Also, I didn't know, none of these... None of... You can't get a loan. People don't get car, people don't give car loans to conversion vans.

• 8:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Because the chassis, I was like, why is that? I love chopping it up with a guy who, who knows, who knows the deets.

• 8:33H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  I go, yeah, why is that? I was told my credit union told me I couldn't get one. And he's like, cause the chassis is like, considered like a work van. But the, it's not like a passenger car or whatever. It's like, they run the VIN, it doesn't come back because it's a conversion van.

• 8:47H. Foley?

  No hit?

• 8:48Speaker 01

  It comes back as like an ECO line or whatever. So when a cop pulls you over, you're driving like a different car than it's, I don't know, this guy, this guy might've been huffing. I don't know what was going on. But he's getting us straightened out. I should get, I should find out any minute if we're up.

• 9:01H. Foley?

  Sick.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  I'm a little upset. I, if I was approved, I think I would've, I found out this morning. And it's like, well, it's one o'clock now and I haven't found out.

• 9:10H. Foley?

  There's a big difference between those congratulations and unfortunacies, those emails. Unfortunately, at this time.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  We are not a, I tell you, I get a lot of them. We are not able to, it's like getting denied from college all over again. You know what? I didn't want to go to Drake, so to begin with, my mom told me I couldn't.

• 9:25H. Foley?

  When I was dipping into the, ah, that happened to me in college. I got shot down. King's College shot me down. I wanted to go there. All my cousins went there.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  Like nah, didn't make it.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 9:35H. Foley?

  Widener, no problem. Open me, welcome me with open arms.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Till you, till you burned that bridge and they had to escort you off premises.

• 9:43H. Foley?

  They also asked me to leave very quickly.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 9:45H. Foley?

  But when I was dipping into, uh, Navy Federal, cause for a minute I was all over Navy Federal. Two grand here, three grand there, doing the loans.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  You were taking out.

• 9:52H. Foley?

  They didn't ask any questions.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  We were taking out little payday loans.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Not even payday loans, just straight up.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  They're not long-term loans.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  They're called personal, personal, no collateral loans.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  AKA a dirtbag central. Buddy, I'm not knocking you, but if you're taking out two, three Gs here and there sporadically.

• 10:09H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  That's a guy who's jammed up.

• 10:11H. Foley?

  But when you got approved, it was right on the phone. Yeah, it's all good. If you weren't approved, which more often than not, that was the case, it was, alright, it's processing. Give us a few hours. You fucking few hours.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  I know I'm screwed here.

• 10:23H. Foley?

  I know I'm screwed.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Just tell me now, lady. Let me, let me go to some, well, let me go burn another bridge.

• 10:28H. Foley?

  I already called the Coke guy. You guys are jamming me up.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 10:31H. Foley?

  Then he's looking like an asshole.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Uh, but yeah, so the, the boy, the van is, should be happening any, I should be hearing back any day now. We're, we're gonna have it in Pontiac. We're gonna have it for the first run of the Back on the Block Tour. Tickets are, tickets are selling on that thing, so don't, if you snooze, you'll lose, baby.

• 10:46H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Uh, also, little bit of news, this summer, there's gonna be a little baby Kippy. Oooh! Running around town.

• 10:57H. Foley?

  I gotta take orders from this fucking kid now.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  There's now a prince to the garbage throne.

• 11:02H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  There's a bloodline. You better get cracking so they, we can have them fight.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  I guess it all goes.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  For the rightful heir of the throne.

• 11:08H. Foley?

  It all goes to the kid, huh?

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's gonna get, I mean, you, who's, who's getting your half?

• 11:13H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  You gotta give it to the kid.

• 11:15H. Foley?

  Luke, I guess, put it over to the kid.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  He's gonna take my half.

• 11:18H. Foley?

  He's got sweat equity in this.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Once he fi, if he's anything like his, he's gonna find out and, there's gonna be a power struggle when he turns four.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  Congratulations.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Thank you very much.

• 11:27H. Foley?

  My friend.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, this, uh, so we're, we're very excited, not nervous at all, totally chilling, not, not verging on, you know, the, the side of panic attack every two minutes.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  That kinda thing.

• 11:38H. Foley?

  He's got a conversion van to maybe look forward to.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  That's also, that's, yeah, so we're talking road trips, and that made me think, like, I, I don't know about you guys, so, uh, you know, uh...

• 11:50H. Foley?

  You packing up the kids in the car?

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Also, any parents out there, give me some advice, cause get kids. I didn't, I didn't necessarily have a father figure. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be figuring all this out on my own.

• 12:03H. Foley?

  You gotta throw a baseball around or something. Was it, was it, when he asked you, when he asked you to teach him?

• 12:07Speaker 01

  I don't think you can play catch with a newborn. I'm just saying. I don't think he's got the hands for it.

• 12:12H. Foley?

  Kid's got a left on him. Look out. Congratulations, pal.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Thank you. We're very excited, um...

• 12:17H. Foley?

  You pack up the car, take, take him and the wife down to Florida in a couple of years?

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Well, that was about...

• 12:22H. Foley?

  Screaming at him in the car.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 12:24H. Foley?

  Scar him for life, get down there. We're not getting that. That's how they get ya.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  That's how most of the traumatic, uh, experiences I've had with... Father specifically was car. You know, the reaching back, the

• 12:37H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  The fucking, you know, the screaming, the yelling, the...

• 12:42H. Foley?

  We did the famous Foley trip from Mountaintop, Pennsylvania, all the way down to Dallas, Texas to see our cousins.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Did you get time on that? Mountaintop, Pennsylvania?

• 12:52H. Foley?

  To Dallas, Texas. In a Datsun, in a hatchback Datsun. They dropped the seats in the back. Everything was pushed to the back of the car. We had sleeping blankets. We had, I remember, a big bottle of Hi-C, snacks, all that stuff. Left in the middle of the night for some reason, probably traffic. Ain't traffic. Went all the way down there, drove, not straight through, I think we stopped once? Stayed at some motel? What's the time on that?

• 13:21Speaker 03

  About 25 hours and 47 minutes.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  Jesus, dude!

• 13:25H. Foley?

  It went by like it was five.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  Over 1,500 miles.

• 13:28H. Foley?

  Woo, my dad in a Datsun.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  It's like Route 66, doesn't it?

• 13:32H. Foley?

  Very similar. Car broke down? How to get the car fixed? I, man, I remember my mom, phew. We got there, there was a lot of crying. There was a lot of her apologizing. "I'm sorry." I mean, we were just, we were like two gremlins in the backseat.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  Hot as shit, I'm sure.

• 13:49H. Foley?

  Yeah. I remember she grabbed me and I had her nails in my arm. She had to like clean me up when I got there.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Psycho. That's why she's crying. She, you know, assaulted her young boy.

• 14:01H. Foley?

  I had it coming, baby.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 14:03H. Foley?

  It's all good, baby.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  This guy's a glutton for punishment. What are you gonna do? Choose the wrench?

• 14:08H. Foley?

  Spit my mouth.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  You gotta build around, you're pulling it.

• 14:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, that was the first big road trip, which it was awesome. You know what I mean? You're leaving, you're in the sleeping bag with your brother, all that kinda stuff. You know, it was fun. I don't remember the drive back at all. They might have knocked us the fuck out.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Chloro. Uh-huh. That makes, we never did a proper road trip as a family. I mean, I have a divorced family. Nisi, I gotta be honest with you. I don't drive at night. One, she don't drive at night. Everybody knows that about the niece. Two, I don't think she's ever driven further than North Wildwood. I don't think she's ever gone straight to Cape May. Like, I think the furthest she's... She's never driven to like DC or Virginia.

• 14:51H. Foley?

  No.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  She's never driven.

• 14:53H. Foley?

  Patty's nice with it.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  My mom, I don't think my mom's ever driven to New York.

• 14:56H. Foley?

  Really? Well, my mom doesn't drive in New York. I'm not driving up to, no, I'll park at Princeton.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  A girl from Philadelphia is petrified of what the, I think they think it's how we saw like the Jetsons, like flying cars and stuff. They're like, ah! I'm like, Mom, I live right, it's just 90, you take, you take the, you've been on a highway, you can drive the Pennsylvania turnpike, you can drive the New Jersey turnpike.

• 15:18H. Foley?

  She ain't coming, dog. She ain't coming.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  But yeah, she ain't, she don't, she don't drive. I'll take the train, I'll meet you in midtown. But, so we never really had a lot of shore trips, a lot of two, three hour trips to the shore, traffic, the whole nine, playing the, the big thing, were you a, uh?

• 15:33H. Foley?

  I Spy?

• 15:34Speaker 01

  I Spy was big.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  Punch Buggy?

• 15:37H. Foley?

  Punch Buggy.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  What, do you remember the, the lingo to yours? Like it was?

• 15:41H. Foley?

  Punch Buggy Blue, punching, you know?

• 15:44Speaker 01

  At some point, I think in the mid 90s, they added no punchbacks.

• 15:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's how fights started, me and my brother though.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Aw, dude.

• 15:50H. Foley?

  Cause he would just cold cock me out of nowhere.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  That, that's when I first learned that you could.

• 15:54H. Foley?

  Be like a Nissan, he would just hit me.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  My brother would punch me with the middle finger out and like the dead.

• 15:59H. Foley?

  Knuckle you?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Aw, dude. Man, that got right to a six-year-old's bone.

• 16:02H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Regardless of how fat I was.

• 16:04H. Foley?

  You know what was bad outside the car too? A dead leg. A dead leg to, from, from the knee to the thigh to the ground. Fucking uno dos tres. Out. Killing it.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Um, another big one, which I played in my adult years, which was kind of the most, probably the most sober fun I ever had.

• 16:20H. Foley?

  Is she blowing them?

• 16:21Speaker 01

  What? Is, uh, well, I'm going to a picnic. That was a big.

• 16:25H. Foley?

  I'm going to a picnic?

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Do you know that one?

• 16:27H. Foley?

  Nah.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Oh, really? I'm going to a picnic and I'm bringing apples. Then he's, then Luke's gotta go to a picnic, he's gonna bring apples and bananas. And you have to memorize it and, and it goes with each one.

• 16:37H. Foley?

  I'm going to a picnic, I'm bringing apples, bananas and cards.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 16:40H. Foley?

  Really?

• 16:40Speaker 01

  I'm going to pick, and, and I'm bringing apples, bananas, cards and dildos, whatever it is.

• 16:44H. Foley?

  Too intellectual for us.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 16:46H. Foley?

  We were, we were straight punch buggy and doing this thing to get the fucking long hauler.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Get the honker going.

• 16:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  We were allowed to do that. My, yeah, my, it was like, when we were in the car with my mom, it was relatively lawless. She, cause she's so nervous about driving anyway. She's got, she, she can't come back and get you. She's 10 and two.

• 17:02H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  She's, she's holding on for, for, for dear, for death.

• 17:05H. Foley?

  When my dad was driving, you couldn't put the light on in the car because the car would explode.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 17:10H. Foley?

  And you couldn't put the visor down. Like to block the sun. He would freak out and it's dude, I do it now. Cause the wife, dude, I lose. What are you doing?

• 17:21Speaker 01

  I think that's just a control thing. That's not, that's just you going-

• 17:24H. Foley?

  You can't see. Can't say, see if I'm making a right.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Listen, you, you can, I'm not saying you could, if you wouldn't be able to see, they wouldn't just have that capability. Somebody would be like, people are dying left and right. You know what I mean?

• 17:36H. Foley?

  I remember I was in the car with my aunt one time and she took it and pulled it over to the window. I'm like, she's gonna fucking kill us.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  That explains this thing's gonna flip.

• 17:44H. Foley?

  What the fuck are you doing? My uncle like went to look like, what the fuck?

• 17:49Speaker 01

  I can't, you're in my blind spot.

• 17:52H. Foley?

  Alright, let's get into cues here.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:54H. Foley?

  We reached out to the homies, road trip stories. Let's see what we got.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, alright, so this one is Trashins81, $10 shareholder. My grandfather bought a police scanner from a family friend before our road trip to New Hampshire. We got pulled over 30 minutes into the drive. That grandfather was furious.

• 18:13H. Foley?

  Let me tell you something. I don't know if you're too young to remember, those police scanners.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  We had, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

• 18:18H. Foley?

  My Uncle Red would sit in the kitchen with a couple of beers, just listening to what's going on. Man, and the radar detectors, those things never worked. Everybody thought they were hot shit with them. Those things sucked.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Sure. Um, we had, uh, we had a police scanner. It's like the big fucking, it's just probably like a 90's model.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  Not for the car, for the house, right?

• 18:44Speaker 01

  We had like a handheld one that like a fire department guy would have.

• 18:49H. Foley?

  Like they use in like the town, like a, like a scrambler?

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Not as a, I don't know, it's just, no, it's like a-

• 18:54H. Foley?

  No, we had like one that looked like a radio. Damn, you had that?

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were talking the 90's. I'm saying, we probably got mine in like 93. You're talking the 80's. We got mine in, you know, when there's, it had that big- Big antenna already out on it. Kind of looking like a Zack Morris phone.

• 19:08H. Foley?

  Gang, the show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:10H. Foley?

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• 19:30Speaker 01

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• 19:37H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Nah, not everywhere, but.

• 19:40H. Foley?

  I'm working on it.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  A couple, two.

• 19:41H. Foley?

  It takes time. And it don't gotta be something life-changing.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 19:44H. Foley?

  It could be something small that you're working through. Or you could have some unresolved trauma or whatever you're dealing with. You don't know what's going on. BetterHelp, man.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it also just, it kind of gives you, uh, talk therapy gives you just like a second set of eyes on your problems instead of.

• 20:00H. Foley?

  Talk it out.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just go like, hey, and somebody goes, nah, man, that's completely normal. People, this happens all the time, blah, blah, blah, whatever it is. You can just make better, better sense of everything. And it just gives you a little bit new perspective. And listen, BetterHelp is the easiest way to get into the therapy pool.

• 20:13H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  You do it from just the comfort of your own home. If you're, if you're a shy person, you don't want to travel, blah, blah. This takes away all the excuses. I don't have a car. I don't have this, I don't have that. Whatever it is, BetterHelp can assist you with it. And you can get in there and start therapy. You can always change, uh.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  Therapist?

• 20:30Speaker 01

  Therapist whenever you want. So just get in, start talking. And if you find out you don't like your person that much, or you might be a better fit, you can transfer over.

• 20:38H. Foley?

  Switch them up.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  And get someone else at no cost, baby.

• 20:41H. Foley?

  Oh!

• 20:41Speaker 01

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• 21:02Speaker 04

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the

• 21:06Speaker 04

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• 21:32H. Foley?

  Dude, if we get the van.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  We're getting the van.

• 21:35H. Foley?

  We have to get-

• 21:36Speaker 01

  CB!

• 21:37H. Foley?

  CB.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Look, how much is a new CB radio?

• 21:39H. Foley?

  It's probably like six bucks.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  I know. Well, let's get, we each get them.

• 21:41H. Foley?

  We need a CB, we need a scrambler, we need, uh... 400.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  For a CB radio? I'm not gonna get approved for that. No way that's happening.

• 21:52H. Foley?

  A scrambler, a radar detector, and a police scanner.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:55H. Foley?

  I don't think we're fucking terrorists.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  I think we're gonna go fucking blow something up. Not happening.

• 22:00H. Foley?

  We can get a fine one for 100.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 22:02H. Foley?

  You know what'd be sick too? We get a dish on the top of this thing.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  I think it's got wifi.

• 22:07H. Foley?

  So what? I want a dish.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  It's got something. It's got Blu-ray and DVD, that's what they told me. Which, by the way, get your DVDs, gang. Um, yeah, we had that, we had a, I remember my stepdad had a dust- Remember like, it was just, I don't know if it was like a 90's thing, but like, electronics used to be dusty as shit back in the day.

• 22:27H. Foley?

  Always.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  And we had a dusty, dude, a dusty ass-

• 22:30H. Foley?

  It was before dust-off caught on.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Sure, but I mean also-

• 22:33H. Foley?

  I got my hands on it.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, nobody I knew was using it. My dad's secretary had that. That's it. That was the only person I knew that had it. And she got mad at us because me and my brother were freezing each other's fingers with it.

• 22:42H. Foley?

  Anytime I saw one of those in like, somebody's office or something like that, alright, we're gonna get out of here.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Sure. Have to go huff this away. It was-

• 22:50H. Foley?

  Bad news, kids.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  It was too tempting to not have fun with as a toy. Like, to be like, "I'm gonna shoot cold air at you." Like, what are we talking about here? But-

• 23:00Speaker 01

  My stepdad had a, he was a lot of, he liked the gadgets, right? So he's a single guy at the time, like before he met my mom, single guy. Pretty decent income.

• 23:12H. Foley?

  Pocket knife and a scrambler.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Pocket knife, scram, dude, he had to, he had everything, all the antennas, the whole CB radio, nine yards. So that was like, anytime we were in the car with him, that was like a treat. Cause you're like, I can play with all this shit. Sitting in my mom's car, fucking stunk. But that was like, you felt like you were in, you know, the enterprise, you felt like you were in the fucking Star Trek.

• 23:31H. Foley?

  Be cool if we did like, uh, like an FBI training, like how to like, do like the, like the spin outs and stuff like that.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Oh, like tactical drive, oh, in the van?

• 23:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm not rolling that.

• 23:40H. Foley?

  Well, that's what we're gonna.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  First of all, we gotta get approved for it.

• 23:42H. Foley?

  That's where we're gonna be in.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:44H. Foley?

  We'll be in that, you gotta train on the thing you're in. Like, so you can do the

• 23:48Speaker 01

  You're not driving this thing.

• 23:50H. Foley?

  I didn't say I was.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Sure. So what, what, what are we, fucking knocking over banks? We're gonna be cruising slowly to Cleveland and Pittsburgh in April, second shows out of both cities.

• 24:00H. Foley?

  If you get jammed up, you wanna be able to make a move.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Two thousand for an evasive driving course.

• 24:05H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  I'm not, we're not doing that, we're not doing that.

• 24:08H. Foley?

  We'll do it.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  We're going, no, the point of the van was not to

• 24:13H. Foley?

  Rob banks?

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Dude, yeah, to do jewelry heist, it was to, nice family.

• 24:17H. Foley?

  Not talking about those smash and grab jobs you see on TikTok, talking about something elegant. Coming in the middle of the night, you got the thing, you knock out the wall, you go in, bing bang boom.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  Thomas Crown Affair style.

• 24:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, you know, oh, forget about it, put a nice tux on, steal the Mona Lisa. I get stuck under the door.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  It was five fat guys in a conversion van. They stopped by Mickey D's on the way out.

• 24:39H. Foley?

  We'd be busted in two seconds.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Also, I don't think any eating in a car for the first trip or two. No, like you're allowed snacks.

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Snacks.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  No wet foods.

• 24:48H. Foley?

  No lettuce, like

• 24:50Speaker 01

  No, you can eat, oh, no, hold on, you can eat all the lettuce you want.

• 24:53H. Foley?

  I was thinking hoagie lettuce.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Is that where your brain goes when you think lettuce is on a sandwich?

• 24:57H. Foley?

  When you say wet, shred it, shred, shred it wet, hoagie lettuce.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  I didn't say shredded wet, I just said, no wet foods.

• 25:04H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  You immediately, okay, no vegetables.

• 25:07H. Foley?

  No mayo on that. It jammed up.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Nah, no sandwiches, mostly stuff, well, we normally, you stop at a whatever.

• 25:12H. Foley?

  Snacks!

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Snacks you can get at a gas station, no, no fast food or not. I'm gonna be rolling this thing with an iron. I'm be like, I'm gonna be like my dad. I'm gonna be turning around.

• 25:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Turn around hitting you, you motherfucker.

• 25:22H. Foley?

  Okay, okay.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Um, speaking of, this is perfect, this is from Drew. Did anyone's dad actually turn the car around if you didn't knock it off?

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  And that's, I don't think that's ever happened to me.

• 25:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, it happened to us at a 4th of July party. We were acting up in the backseat and we were driving to my buddy dad's, my buddy, my, my dad.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Buddy dad.

• 25:41H. Foley?

  My dad's buddy Scow's place.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  What a name.

• 25:45H. Foley?

  Shout out to Scow. We were driving there, that was like the party house. We were driving over there 4th of July. Uh, my brother and I both had lice at the time.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  I mean, you are a born dirtbag, dude.

• 25:59H. Foley?

  It was like the third.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Why you going to a party? You got fucking lice.

• 26:02H. Foley?

  It was like, kinda like coming to the end of it or something like that.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  You're, dude, you're feral. You gotta stay home at that point. You can't be bringing lice.

• 26:08H. Foley?

  All the kids had lice back then. But we didn't make it, cause we started screwing around in the backseat and that was like, my mom was like, should we go or should we not go? And we were driving over there and we started trouble. So I had to get, my mom brought us back to the house, brought me up to the bathroom and started doing that comb, that lice comb, and she was not being tender.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 26:28H. Foley?

  And I heard the fireworks going off outside. Sucked.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Dude, imagine the balls of being a fat little kid riddled with lice and being like, acting like an asshole. Like, no, no self-aware, no like, you know what, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut? I'm covered in bugs right now? I'm infested with bugs? Maybe I shouldn't break my parents' stones. Maybe that.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  I had crabs too at the time.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  A little bit of gonorrhea.

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Kid, kid made moves back then.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Nah, my fault I was closing it.

• 26:55H. Foley?

  Cracking dingers at the Little League park, you know what I mean? Brought in the snack shop, wanted a piece of the kid.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Ah, Jesus.

• 27:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, they turned it around. But usually that was all bullshit. You know, if you got far enough away, that's when you start, "Hey, you gonna turn around dickhead? You turn around, fuck outta here."

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Well, the good thing about the divorced parents is they never unionized, you know what I mean? Like, they never discussed.

• 27:21H. Foley?

  There was never a situation where one of you did something and they had the fucking... Or was it just like ping pong?

• 27:28Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 27:28H. Foley?

  Like, let's say Danny did something. Would he get yelled at by your mom and then yelled at by your dad? They never came together?

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, but we weren't in the car together where we're causing a scene and they both go, "You know what? We should've never done this, we should've never had them." I mean, you know.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  It's gotta be for-

• 27:44Speaker 01

  No, so it was, I mean, oh. Big Dan got called in for them. She stopped trying at some point and was like-

• 27:51H. Foley?

  Was there ever a point after the divorce where you came home and he was there? Cause I would shit my pants.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  No, it was even more-

• 27:58H. Foley?

  Something threw you out.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  Buddy, I thought you two were on the outs. I brought you back together?

• 28:03H. Foley?

  Dude, I would, man.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  No, it was the worst because it was the wait. You gotta wait for him to come pick you up. Man.

• 28:11H. Foley?

  Two weekends from now, you're fucking dead.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  He'd get called, no, he'd get called at like, you know, noon or whatever, and he's not picking us up till after work at 6.

• 28:23H. Foley?

  6, 6:15. Cold wait?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  He was, he was constantly on, he was constantly on like, I forget the name of the road, like, I'm on fucking Fifth Ave or whatever, and it was just like-

• 28:34H. Foley?

  10 blocks away, stuck in traffic.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we, the big joke was like, "How long is Fifth Street?" It's like, you've been on it, you've been on it for 3 hours, you called me 3 hours ago.

• 28:42H. Foley?

  Jammed up.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Um, but yeah, that wait, that was the bad. That was the bad.

• 28:46H. Foley?

  As a dad, has a little more whatever. But as a, as a, as a recently divorced mom-

• 28:52Speaker 01

  You're speaking from experience.

• 28:54H. Foley?

  With, with you two in the backseat, I mean dude, that probably, there was probably moments where she felt helpless. Just like-

• 29:01Speaker 01

  We also gotta add in my sister, she wasn't no spring chicken either. Her and Danny would fistfight. She is a little bigger as a kid, she, her and Danny would fucking go at it. She, dude, those Sullivan girls, they don't play.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  Goes right for his earring.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  She's, so like, that was the, dude, us driving down the shore, a lot of times Denise would try to split us up. I'll drop you off at Patty's.

• 29:25H. Foley?

  Put you on a bus.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  The boys can drive down with Aunt Patty, or I'll drop you off at Aunt Karen's. The boys can drive down with Aunt Karen, I'll take the girls.

• 29:32H. Foley?

  I had to put you on a bus.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  I usually had to roll with the, with the, with the broads, I was too young.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  That's fun, though. I used to love hanging out with the broads when I was a kid.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  I didn't know what they were talking about.

• 29:39H. Foley?

  Woo, my Aunt Mary Catherine would take me over to Bingo, on a Wednesday night.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 29:43H. Foley?

  All the Werther's and Salem 100's I could get in my system.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Uh, alright, let's see, this one's from Waffle Fries. "Is it garbage that on a family trip to Florida, my whole family flew except me because we couldn't afford another ticket, so I drove the 20-hour drive by myself, I was 16-years-old."

• 30:01H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 30:03Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 30:04H. Foley?

  Nuts. What'd you spend on gas? Gas had to be at least a hundred.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you gotta figure, this might be mid 90's or so, late 90's. Gas was 99 cents a gallon.

• 30:18H. Foley?

  You gotta drive. So that means he had to leave. Either he left two days early, or he missed a couple of days. Man, if my whole family was at Disney World and we left at the same time, I'd be hot-footing it down there. I fucking missed the Magic Kingdom or something like that, like an asshole.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Talk about jammed the fuck up, dude, that's bad.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  Rashish shit ever.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  Uh, also, the two longest drives I ever did, I guess it was three times, I went to and from, uh...

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Myrtle Beach, spring break in my mom's, like, 97 Bravada. I remember she was like, I'm gonna, she got an oil change beforehand, she's like, I don't, I didn't have a car, maybe I had the Loom, and she's like, you're not taking the Loom, like, no way the Loom's making it. Sorry, maybe I didn't have a car, I forget. This might have been between Loom and Montego. And I was driving the boys down, and she's like, dude, this is how insane the crew I was rolling with. The best car anybody could get their hands on.

• 31:18H. Foley?

  Was it Tigo?

• 31:19Speaker 01

  No, it was a 97 Bravada, 99 Bravada. And it was like... Yeah, everybody that could call in favors to get a car, it was that.

• 31:29H. Foley?

  It's always a bad look when you have to not use your car. It's not gonna make it. It's okay if I take the-

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Mine would have made it to Dover, Delaware. We were leaving Temple, we were leaving Philly. I think it was freshman year maybe, or sophomore year, spring break.

• 31:44H. Foley?

  I think our second longest was, this was a, going in a caravan is even crazier. My cousin graduated from a school in North Carolina, who were all driving down there for the graduation. I had gotten in, this is my junior year of high school, I had gotten in serious trouble towards the end of wrestling season. Like, I almost got kicked out of school. Like, it was a problem. And they put me in the car, just me with my Uncle Frank, who I honestly gave-

• 32:14Speaker 01

  That's brutal.

• 32:14H. Foley?

  I get, it was just me and him in a Lincoln, in a Lincoln Town Car.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Talk about running out of stuff to say by fucking-

• 32:21H. Foley?

  He was like the enforcer of the family. Very quiet, very funny, but very quiet, but when we were kids, it was very, you know, he was like an ex-teacher, he was a teacher and all that kinda stuff. So you couldn't get away with any of the bullshit you get with, get away with the other parents. And man, they, I didn't know they were doing it. I was like, ah, here we go. I'm, dude, I, dude, I'm-

• 32:40Speaker 01

  I got my gummy bears, guys, we're gonna, we're gonna share cassettes, right?

• 32:44H. Foley?

  I'm jammed up at school, I think it kind of blows over, and then I see this black Lincoln pull up, and I'm like, ah, what's Uncle Frank doing here? And my dad's like, his wife got out of the car, got in my mom's car, came in, and he's like, you're gonna drive down with your Uncle Frank. Dude, I felt like lefty, I took my rings off, I swear to God.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  You know I love you, right? You're kissing everybody on the cheek.

• 33:09H. Foley?

  I gave myself a 50/50 chance of getting back. I thought we were gonna pull off, I was gonna give me the Adriana special. He didn't say a word till after DC. And then it was like.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  You shit your pants, kid.

• 33:26H. Foley?

  It was like, so what happened at school? And man, I got the, I got the scary riot act all the way down there.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 33:34H. Foley?

  Oh, man, I was hanging out on my mom's hips when I got down.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  And then we're gonna do it six minutes later. Fist fighting some bitch, fist fighting the neighbor. That, that just reminded me, I didn't remember, we took. Uh, we drove, my dad, my stepmom, my younger brother and Danny. Uh, drove from Philadelphia to like outside of Quebec.

• 34:01H. Foley?

  Gee, that's right.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  For a soccer tournament in a, my dad's buddy's conversion van, that thing was fucking sweet. Remember it had a table in it, do you remember that?

• 34:09H. Foley?

  See like that.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Like an octagon table.

• 34:11H. Foley?

  That's the exact situation.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 34:13H. Foley?

  Your dad didn't take his own car, he took his buddy's, was the buddy with yous?

• 34:16Speaker 01

  No, that's buddy Sam. So shady, man.

• 34:20H. Foley?

  Dude, trying to get across.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  We might have been muleing, I don't know.

• 34:22H. Foley?

  Trying to get across the border of license and registration.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  This was the 90s.

• 34:26H. Foley?

  Here's the thing, it's not registered to me.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  I don't think they hate you with license, they hate you with just ID, they don't ask for registration of the car.

• 34:32H. Foley?

  They don't ask you whose car it is?

• 34:35Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 34:35H. Foley?

  Cause that's tough to explain.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  License and registration. Uh, no, I don't think they ask, I don't think they, they're more worried about the guy coming in than the car.

• 34:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  You know, it could have been very, we are the Millers or whatever and fucking, I could have had, I could have had a couple of balloons up my ass, I don't know. Uh, he did ask me to swallow some bags if I remember. But yeah, that was like, dude, and I remember we did it no ma, I remember, so we were up there. And like, all, pre-internet, you got no re, you're just going off. So we're up there with a soccer team and we're talking, the guy was also my fourth grade teacher.

• 35:11H. Foley?

  My dad notoriously got lost every trip.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  I remember that, we, we tried to go to Niagara Falls from Quebec, which, I mean, I think it was one of those things of like, you're up here.

• 35:22H. Foley?

  Not like halfway across the country?

• 35:23Speaker 01

  It was far, dude. It was far.

• 35:25H. Foley?

  Driving back the other way.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  That's a 10 hour drive.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we added it on. And I remember being like. I remember just driving for what seemed like day, I don't think-

• 35:35H. Foley?

  As a kid dude, two hours could have been six weeks.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  And we didn't stay at any hotel. I think we fucking raw dogged it up. Like he just fucking heaters and coffee, probably a couple of bevies, probably a couple of mix.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  Road sodies?

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  And then we tagged that on and I remember in his brain, he's like, we're in Canada. Can't be that far, you know what I mean? It's like, just throw it on there. And we tagged it on and I mean.

• 36:03H. Foley?

  Missed a week of-

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Dude, I felt like we were going, like we were Moses going through the desert dude.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  Missed a week of school.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Oh, it was so lo- it was so long and so hot. I remember an overheating factor.

• 36:14H. Foley?

  They gonna hold you back a year, you missed the finals?

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Take it off like I'm in 3rd grade with a full beard.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  My trip was long. Uh, yeah.

• 36:24H. Foley?

  Is that Moses?

• 36:25Speaker 01

  I don't know. That was just an old guy voice. Uh, it was, uh, it was a long, I just remember being like, that was a- That was so out of the ca- so out of car- one, we didn't go anywhere. We only went Philadelphia to Wildwood. That's the only, only places we ever went. Remember my dad would go to South Carolina with his boys in the van and they'd go like hunting.

• 36:43H. Foley?

  It's a good time.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  And he'd bring back fireworks. And to me, that was like, I would be like, I would go into school and be like, my dad drove to South Car- like he was, went to the Amazon. That was like the most, that was-

• 36:53H. Foley?

  Machu Picchu.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was the most exotic place anybody I knew went.

• 36:58H. Foley?

  Couple of cherry bombs for the kids.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Hey, got Sam's Pizza down there dad?

• 37:02H. Foley?

  There were those road trips that I didn't understand. Like I, I remember being like, why the fuck are we going here? Some flea market somewhere, some state fair, some shit like that. That sucked.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 37:15H. Foley?

  Like what are you doing man?

• 37:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:17H. Foley?

  Catch your goddamn goonies is out. What's going on? Catch the 12:30.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  You'll get a large popcorn. Catch a matinee, something. What are we doing here dog? Uh, alright, let's see here. This is a, this is a famous move by our, by our previous boy, rest in peace. This is from E.B. McBurney's. Uh, taking an alter- alternate route to avoid tolls even if it's way out of the way.

• 37:38H. Foley?

  Oh yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Man, that is a- I remember that would be on Garmin's.

• 37:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Shout out to Cotton, our old pilot for a long time.

• 37:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Our old road dog, he did all the driving in the Jeep.

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  And he used to talk about the Garmin like it was a guy.

• 37:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  I'm like, I thought they got Garmin. I got the Garmin. I got the Garmin. He'd throw it in there, avoid all tolls.

• 38:00H. Foley?

  That was the first time going from Philly to New York that I drove, I think it was Route 1.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  He would take Route 1 to like, to the bridge. A lot of times you take Route 1 for traffic purposes and you hop on the turnpike.

• 38:12H. Foley?

  It seemed like hours. There's lights every five minutes. Get on the goddamn highway.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  It's the middle of the night. What are we doing?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Sure. That was, uh, he was also the king of, uh, didn't want to put too much gas in the car. Dude, I remember one time we drove out to Lancaster or something to do a show, or somewhere out in the middle of the state, and we stopped for gas, like, I'm not even joking, like, three or four times.

• 38:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  And it's like, a three hour drive. We could have filled up and then got there.

• 38:44H. Foley?

  We get six on bump two. Just enough to get, they might need that cash. That was all of our capital at the time.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 38:52H. Foley?

  So we did have, we needed to have a little bribe money.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 38:55H. Foley?

  In case the local sheriff.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  He was also the guy.

• 38:57H. Foley?

  Smash the tail.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  It was me, him and Reggie, we were going on a road trip. Same thing out that way. When we started and got like, you know, relatively proficient at comedy, you could get those gigs in like, just those weird small towns in Pennsylvania.

• 39:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, 300 bucks.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, 300, that's a, they still got that going on, I'll do it.

• 39:16H. Foley?

  I'll head, I'll headline, you feature, he'll host, yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, you bring, you can do a, I mean, sometimes I'd go out and you just weren't getting, I was a low man on the totem pole, so you're not getting paid. I could give you 30 bucks or whatever out of his bag.

• 39:28H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  But, we went to rent a car and he like, didn't have a license or insurance, and he's like, you believe they're not giving me a car? I'm like, what dude? Yeah. So we had to drive, because the Jeep was on the, on the fence of making it to Long, we were, no. We pulled up in the Jeep to rent the car.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  And then, or maybe, dude, I think he was gonna have someone else rent it. And then, there was like an issue with a license, a credit card and insurance.

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Credibility.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  And, he came to, he was in there for like, you know, if you're in a, if you're in a place like that.

• 40:03H. Foley?

  Half hour, you're done.

• 40:04Speaker 01

  Anything over 15 minutes, it's a coin flip whether or not you're getting that service.

• 40:08H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  And he was in there for an hour. And me and Reggie were in the car, and I'm like, there ain't no way.

• 40:14H. Foley?

  That's how we first started the tour. We couldn't do it because we only had debit cards. We didn't have credit cards.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had to rent on Toro. Which, for all the dirtbags out there, great way to get around the major, to get around enter- Because Enterprise won't rent you a car if you don't have a credit card or a return ticket from that airport. I've learned. Even if you go, "Hey, just take the $500 hold," they don't do it.

• 40:37H. Foley?

  Mm-mm.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Uh, so Toro will do it. So shout out Toro, helping the-

• 40:41H. Foley?

  So if you got a roadie coming up with the boys.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, helping dirtbags get on a road. Uh...

• 40:47H. Foley?

  Toro, when you're running from the cops.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  I mean, that is a shady app. Also, good way to make a couple of bucks. It's like Airbnb for your car.

• 40:54H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  I used to pick up just random people's cars. Man. Talk to you, just drive into a not a great neighborhood, and you're like just looking for somebody, and it's, you're just like, "This ain't great." You're just getting some beat up fucking car. Whoo.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the-

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Priceline Negotiator.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget, the Priceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle. Deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than Priceline. Hold your horses, there's more. The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level, and amenities like pools and spas and beachfronts. And, wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting me off.

• 41:40Speaker 05

  LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot make your email response time faster. We can help you sell, market, and hire in one place. We cannot help you find space for your three desk drinks. Why do you have three? And while we can't help you find the perfect volume for your presentation video, LinkedIn can help you find the perfect audience for your business. Grow your small business on LinkedIn. Learn more at LinkedIn.com/smallbusiness.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Alright, let's see. Uh, this one's from Fran. Uh, "I once made it all the way from Arkansas to Galveston, Texas and back with no money."

• 42:19H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  "We stole from Walmart and returned it for cards which we could use for gas and food."

• 42:25H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  "When we needed cash for hotels, and weed, we would steal video games and then take them to GameStop." That's... Listen, I don't condone that behavior. But, talk about making it work.

• 42:40H. Foley?

  What's that, what's that distance, Arkansas to Galveston?

• 42:43Speaker 01

  That's gotta be, I mean, sometimes you get into that Texas.

• 42:46H. Foley?

  Four hours?

• 42:47Speaker 01

  No, no, that's gotta be eight, 10 hours.

• 42:49H. Foley?

  You gotta map out the GameStops, you gotta map out the Walmarts? Man, that's a road trip right there.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  Eight hours, 20 minutes.

• 42:56H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:58H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  I mean, you gotta figure that's...

• 43:01H. Foley?

  Multiple scams.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  That's multiple tanks of gas, that's at least one set of hotel rooms, and a bag of weed.

• 43:07H. Foley?

  The bag of weed's great.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  But you only get like 75 cents on those games.

• 43:13H. Foley?

  I don't, maybe back then, the new ones? I don't know.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  I mean, say you stole, say they went to, uh, you know, Circuit City or whatever was banging at the time, stole an NBA 2K5, whatever, like the newest one.

• 43:27H. Foley?

  20, 30 bucks or something.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, went and sold it, which was going, I mean, what, they used to go for like, they was works, I don't know what they are anymore, but...

• 43:33H. Foley?

  50, 60 bucks?

• 43:33Speaker 01

  They were like 50 bucks. You get 17 bucks for it.

• 43:37H. Foley?

  Also, you never know, you get some nerd behind the counter at the GameStop, "Well, I'll take it, here's 60 bucks, go have it."

• 43:41Speaker 03

  They kind of had a famous racket though, GameStop, where they would...

• 43:44Speaker 01

  They were notoriously paid you like a nickel. But, I mean, if you got no cash and someone's gonna give you four bucks, you go, "Hey, I got five games, it's 20 bucks." That's a fucking, that's two dime bags where I come from. Bum of paper.

• 43:56H. Foley?

  Joke's on him, Sonic's in there, later. Dip out.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Damn, that's a, dude, that's like, uh, that's like...

• 44:05Speaker 01

  That's like New Frontier type shit. That's like Forging, that's like For- that's like Forging West.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  Playing life on hard.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:11H. Foley?

  Me and my boy Tommy Dufresne, uh, in college drove down to, uh...

• 44:15Speaker 01

  San Wantanayo?

• 44:16H. Foley?

  Drove down to Virginia in his citation.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  I don't even know what that is. Ford?

• 44:21H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  A Ford citation?

• 44:23H. Foley?

  Maybe Chevy citation. Rough.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Oh my...

• 44:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, to meet these girls. And we went down there.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Oh man, it did not go well. I'm taking a look at the car.

• 44:32H. Foley?

  We had a bag of weed and we had maybe like 20 bucks on us. And on the way back, we had spent all of our money. So we just got to the tolls and we're like, hey, we have no money. They made us fill out some form.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  They take your driver's license, whatever.

• 44:47H. Foley?

  Never heard of it. Yeah. Wherever that got mailed to, I don't know.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a thing. Uh, that was a thing back in the day before EZ Pass or whatever. It was like, we...

• 44:56H. Foley?

  How'd I get you coming? How do you, how do you get away with anything?

• 44:59Speaker 01

  I get people texting, they're texting my wife.

• 45:03H. Foley?

  Oh my God, that just happened.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Hey, you owe us a debt. It's about to go into collections. She forwards it to me. It's $6. I go,

• 45:09H. Foley?

  Freaks out.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  You figure it out. I got EZ Pass. It ain't on me to do your-

• 45:13H. Foley?

  That's a scam. That's a scam.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a scam?

• 45:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah. She didn't follow that link, did she?

• 45:18Speaker 01

  I might have.

• 45:18H. Foley?

  Oh, you're fucked.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  They get, that's how they get you.

• 45:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's how they get you, idiot.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  They, they probably got-

• 45:24H. Foley?

  Who the fuck, who the fuck's texting?

• 45:25Speaker 01

  They probably got my baby. I don't know.

• 45:27H. Foley?

  This is Kathy Hochul. What do you think, the governor's calling you?

• 45:31Speaker 01

  I don't know. I thought, cause it was on her account. What?

• 45:34H. Foley?

  And you want a conversion fan.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  No EZ Pass. We're going off the grid.

• 45:38H. Foley?

  Oh, really? Stop and throw in the change in. That'd be pretty fun.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  That was it, yeah.

• 45:44H. Foley?

  I don't think you can do that anymore.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  No, some places, oh, throw the change in. No, I think it's just they're all attendants.

• 45:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  Uh, cause nothing's changed. They used to be 30 cents or whatever. Now it's like, I mean, you can't pay an $11 toll with nickels.

• 45:58H. Foley?

  I wanted to do that one summer in college when I was taking a lot of acid. I was gonna get a job as a toll booth, uh, toll booth operator overnight, take acid every time and write, write a book about it. I just landscape.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Whatever happened to...

• 46:11H. Foley?

  Just landscape and took the ass.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Couldn't pass the drug test to join the union.

• 46:16H. Foley?

  Is that a union job?

• 46:17Speaker 01

  I'm sure.

• 46:18H. Foley?

  It's pretty good.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  Around here?

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Pretty good.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  I would imagine. That's some sort of, you know, Teamster or that's gotta... Not a lot of money. That's a government job. That's good pennies, good pension. That's gotta fall under. Someone's wetting their beak on that.

• 46:28H. Foley?

  We were somewhere, I remember.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  What do you got, Luke?

• 46:30Speaker 03

  They're toll booth operators represented in union, yeah.

• 46:33H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  I knew it. My, uh, I also remember, I don't know if this was all over the, all over the, this great country of ours, which you can see explored on Route 66, um, there was, uh, it used to be no pennies. The ones on the turn, or the ones on like the, going down a shore were no pennies. No pennies, no pennies, no pennies. And my uncle, who was a cop, I was like, "They take the pennies. Hey guys, legal ten..." So we heard that.

• 47:02H. Foley?

  Somebody pulls out that legal tender argument, "That's legal tender."

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Every time we drove by...

• 47:07H. Foley?

  No, that's a blockbuster, guard, sir.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Every time we drove by, I drove by a toll and I saw a sign that said, "No pennies." If you think I wasn't dropping, nah. I never even did it. I was just dropping knowledge on whoever's in the car. You know, my uncle's a cop. In a 15, they take pennies.

• 47:22H. Foley?

  That was always a stressful.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Also, there's no tolls in his district.

• 47:25H. Foley?

  That was always a stressful transaction, pulling up to the, between my mom and my dad, like if the exact change, the, "Give me the quarter. Hey, where's the ticket?" Losing that ticket, I thought our whole family was gonna get arrested and fucking put in shackles. "I don't know the ticket. Where's the ticket?" Just freaking out.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  That was a big, that was a big thing on long car rides for us was, uh, was getting the toll change ready out of the cup holder.

• 47:50H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  That was like, I felt like a banker. Me and, dude, me and Danny, he'd be in the front seat, I'd be in the back leaning up on the center console. And we were, we thought we were on the trading room floor, dude. I'm like, "I got a nickel. You got 75 cents. You got this. You got that. You got that. You got this."

• 48:03H. Foley?

  Cause you got cars.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  Thirty miles out, we were getting ready.

• 48:05H. Foley?

  You got cars behind you. They wanted that transaction to be smooth. They start beeping at you. Lose your job.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Uh, that, well, we always, a lot of ti... Oh, my dad always wanted a receipt for tax write-off purposes, so we were big on receipts.

• 48:19H. Foley?

  I guarantee you, he never looked at those things again.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Nah, he did. He would turn them in. Yeah, dude, they would be, dude, they would be in a sta... I remember one time laughing and counting. Dude, this is, I was working the books, so this is like, this is like 2011, before he had EZ Pass. He was still, he was also, we had EZ Pass. He would still get a receipt, be like, "Let me get a receipt."

• 48:36H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  But they'd be in a stack, right here, like, right in the visor. And he'd let them get, like, he'd turn them in at the end of every month.

• 48:44H. Foley?

  Drop that thing, they go everywhere?

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Fuck! You gotta think, it's probably a minimum couple hundred bucks a month, as much as driving.

• 48:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, my dad saved all his gas receipts, but I don't think, I don't know if he ever turned them in. They were just in the center console. Some M&Ms and shit.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  I get a receipt for that? I used to do when we started comedy, like, I wanna write this, like, I get a receipt for that? Meanwhile, two weeks later, I'm blowing my nose in it. Wiping, we'll wipe him ketchup on it or something. Special sauce. Yeah. Uh, alright, let's see here, this is from Jeremy. "Anytime we went on a road trip with my grandfather, no matter the distance, he would buy a CD at the beginning of the trip and listen to it on a continuous loop from start to finish. Once drove from southeastern Pennsylvania to Indianapolis, listening to a Kenny Rogers CD for 12 hours straight."

• 49:28H. Foley?

  I like the move, I mean, that's psychotic, but... Yeah, see, you don't listen to a whole album? Something maybe you haven't heard in a while? But afterwards, like, I, listen, I've mentioned this before, it's not your fault.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  I know where you're going, you're making it seem like my fault.

• 49:46H. Foley?

  I can't fucking listen to his playlist one more fucking time.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Then put on, anytime you've ever said it, listen, I'm driving.

• 49:54H. Foley?

  If I hear that Tyler Childress song one more time, I'm gonna blow my brains out. Fantastic artist, great song.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  Then say something. Why do you sit there and stew and then boil it over and carry, you know, just go, hey, I'm gonna put on somebody, I go, okay, great.

• 50:08H. Foley?

  You know the playlist I'm talking about?

• 50:10Speaker 01

  I love the playlist, I don't wanna hear Oreo whatever all day, alright? Oreo Jaffa?

• 50:16H. Foley?

  I think you're referring to Oreo Speedwagon.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  Or some Styx. Back in black! I know that's not Styx, it's ACDC.

• 50:23H. Foley?

  I'll come up with a, how about we all come up with a playlist for the next road trip?

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Buddy, listen, download Spotify, you got Napster, so like, you're, you're, you're, this is, I love ya, but you've been carrying this, like, you carry this, this, this pain around and this aggravation on my playlist, which, put on, I've never said, no, don't change it, I plug it in. I got a co-pilot, six souls on board here. I'm driving, I've got to make sure everybody gets in the gig, safe, sound, and we get to check. I ain't worried about that. That's in the background. Put on whatever you want.

• 50:56H. Foley?

  Texas was driving me crazy.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Dude, we were in the car for like, see, you've been holding on to it for three years. This is the problem. Then I don't even, then I put it on and you're like, you heard this fucking song, you're in a bad mood.

• 51:06H. Foley?

  I stood over you in the middle of the night one night.

• 51:10H. Foley?

  Debating, slitting your throat. Dude, comes on the plane.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  It literally just goes on and hits, like you plug, plug in your phone and it hits, I'm not searching.

• 51:19H. Foley?

  We're in an Airbnb, you wake up and I'm standing over top of you, what's your first move? You're swinging?

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Probably kill myself. I'd be suffocated under your huge ball bag.

• 51:27H. Foley?

  I'm standing next to you, not on the bed. Balls out.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  Uh, you're standing next to me?

• 51:33H. Foley?

  Quietly, I'm just standing there. I don't even, I don't sound like, hey Kip, you wake up. You wake up, I'm just standing there.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  I don't know, I mean, I'd go, what the fuck are you doing?

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Are you holding anything?

• 51:45Speaker 01

  I've got a pair of my undies. In your mouth?

• 51:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, just doing a little sniffing.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would be, it would be weird. I don't know, I'd have a lot of questions.

• 51:55H. Foley?

  Cause I know you guys looking at me, on me in the middle of the night.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 51:59H. Foley?

  I know you's look, yes you do. You leave your door open.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  You leave your door open, so like, yeah, and I, listen, you leave your door open and you're hooked.

• 52:06H. Foley?

  That's for vampires and shit.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  And you're hooked up to a generator, I'm gonna peer in there, I hear a noise cooking. It's like, what's this like, I'm, first of all, we're not looking at you, it's not the middle of the night. You sleep later than everybody else, so we wake up, we go down and make our scrambled eggs like goddamn gentlemen, proper gentleman, maybe green juice, and...

• 52:24H. Foley?

  I always know when the doors close and I wake up and well, one of those fuck, it probably took a picture of me. I bet you Cassidy probably has fucking like 10 pictures of me sleeping. It's not attractive.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you sleep with the door open. Wild move, in a room full of bros.

• 52:39H. Foley?

  I get scared in there by myself.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Get to see the light on.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  iPhone full volume, I can hear all the Star Wars.

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Buddy, hold on, so back to our upcoming road trip. You have full control, I want nothing but full control, you have full control over the radio, right? Okay. Um, you gotta get Spotify. Uh huh. Right, you can get up, you can build your own playlist. Uh huh. My phone's gonna be, Luke can't help ya. You gotta build your own playlist. Okay. Uh, and then you can share that playlist with whoever's phone is plugged in.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  This is like you're selling Spotify right now.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a pretty good service. You should check out, we got full video on there. What about this old rule of not eating in the car? I think it's time to change that.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  It's not even a new car, it's got nine miles on it. That's how many miles it's got on it, nine miles. Who the fuck drove it nine miles? Probably just been scooting around, test drive here. 2024. 2024, it's how they see, the 2025's are available. Are they? But they upcharge, I said, what's the difference? I gotta be honest with you, not really anything. Wow, you talked to this guy? Talked to him yesterday, good guy. You didn't talk to Fred Beans himself, did you? No, I talked to Gary Beans. You're lying. Yeah, I am, but also it's like, I come from such dirtbag, uh, I start sending out my feelers to all my group texts. I say, hey, cause I'm calling, I'm not getting, I didn't get a response. So I go, hey, we know anybody over there at Beansies. And, uh... I thought we did. We had a homie that worked there.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  But I lost the message, or the comment, or wherever, I don't know where that went. I can't go back and find that now. Long was the internet, the internet is a busy place, that was weeks ago. But I reached out, and everybody's like, I mean, right away, Pat's like, yo, talk to my dad, shut out Mr. S. Uh, he was like, talk to my dad, and then by that time I had heard back already. Nice. So, but you gotta, you gotta, you gotta go in with a...

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Somebody, but then this guy ended up, I grew up right, not that far from him. Like, three minutes away. He's like, "Where are you from?" I'm like, "Bucks, you know, I'm in Bucks, you know, we're chopping it up."

• 54:50H. Foley?

  I remember Patty embarrasses.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  He also wants to come to his show.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  Who?

• 54:54Speaker 01

  The guy we're working with.

• 54:55H. Foley?

  Let's see what the fucking deal looks like.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  I mean, that's what I said. I said, "Hey, buddy, you make right on a deal, I'll throw a couple, two, three tickets your way."

• 55:03H. Foley?

  Half price.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Maybe a tee shirt, signed, charge you for the, charge you for the whole grid.

• 55:08H. Foley?

  Patty did that fucking, when we went in to get one of the cars. Uh, she, the guy knew a friend of ours or something like that, and we were in there, and it was like, the guy that owned the place, was like the one handling us, because it was a favor to the, to the person that we knew. But then his wife showed up, and my mom like introduced, like, "Oh, we've known, whatever," and the guy's like, "Well, we just met, bud." I'm like, "What the fuck?" Getting banged over the head for this.

• 55:37H. Foley?

  Here comes the undercoating. Spray it right in my mouth.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Um, also, we, do we want any kind of, uh... This is in the road trip world, do we want any kind of, uh...

• 55:48H. Foley?

  Tint it out, murder it out. Gunmetal black.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Bumper stickers. I feel the garbage mobile's gotta have something.

• 55:58H. Foley?

  If you see the van rockin', come knockin'. Like, it weird.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  Uh, this one is, "I got pegged at the Cracker Barrel," that's pretty good. I want like, proper offensive ones.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  "Nobody ride for free, gas, grass, or ass."

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Ass, gas, or grass?

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Oh, this one's pretty good, "I love sucking dicks with my butthole."

• 56:24Speaker 01

  We might have to get that, dude.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  That might have to, we might have to get that one. Wow, that's amazing, dude. Oh, we also, oh, we gotta get a windshield thing, too, at the top of the...

• 56:43H. Foley?

  A banner?

• 56:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:45H. Foley?

  Okay, what's it gonna s-

• 56:46Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 56:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Like, "Tootie's Ride," or whatever, or like, what was the one in, uh, Kill Bill, the shaggin' wagon, or whatever?

• 56:52H. Foley?

  I can't remember.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  The pussy wagon, I think it was called the pussy wagon. This is AIG after dark now.

• 56:58H. Foley?

  Ah, that's good shit.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Um, hold on, let's see if there's any other solid, uh...

• 57:07Speaker 01

  I got a BBL at AutoZone. That could be you.

• 57:10H. Foley?

  What's a BBL?

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Brazilian butt lift.

• 57:11H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  We gotta get something. Luke, come up with a couple of them. Spread cheeks, not hate, also pretty good. Why are these... Dude, who would ride... These are for sale. Who would ride around with these?

• 57:26H. Foley?

  Get a set of those nuts and put them on the back, too.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Truck nuts?

• 57:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  That's a little too on the nose.

• 57:32H. Foley?

  What about some of those, uh...

• 57:33Speaker 01

  We do got a hitch.

• 57:35H. Foley?

  We do?

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's goddamn conversion van.

• 57:37H. Foley?

  You could put me in a little suite in the back.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  I'll just put you in a... Put you in a... Put you in a lazy boy.

• 57:43H. Foley?

  No kidding.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:44H. Foley?

  What about those, um...

• 57:45Speaker 01

  This one says, "Please be patient, I'm nine years old."

• 57:48H. Foley?

  What about the Yosemite Sams? Mudflaps.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Ah, whoa. We can mud flap it up.

• 57:54H. Foley?

  Mud flap it up. Get some chains on it.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:58H. Foley?

  Some snow chains.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  I don't think you need snow. I mean...

• 58:02H. Foley?

  Fuck it.

• 58:04H. Foley?

  Let the city worry about that.

• 58:07H. Foley?

  Going through like a Panzer tank.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 58:09H. Foley?

  We also have to stock it up with some stuff for the car. Gotta have some extra antifreeze. Gotta have a little Armor All.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  I think all that stuff's... I mean, like, I don't think we need extra antifreeze with it. It's got nine miles on it.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  You never know. Windshield wiper fluid.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  That should all be... That should all get you for, uh, you know...

• 58:26H. Foley?

  Paninis.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Panini press. I ain't gonna eat the paninis. Yeah. Uh, we gotta come up with something for the windshield. And then we gotta get a guy that can do that.

• 58:35H. Foley?

  Who's fucking?

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Something like there, like the, you know... Something... Something good.

• 58:41H. Foley?

  Suck my dick, bitch.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ. Goddamn family program.

• 58:45H. Foley?

  That too much?

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Dude, I love sucking dicks with my butt. It's so funny.

• 58:50H. Foley?

  That's a home run.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Uh, oh, also some magnets? Like the... Oh, we should put some bullet holes on it.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  We gotta make it, you know, couple of chromies, nice set of chromies.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  Mmm, kids steal them now.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  It's alright, they're a nickel.

• 59:06H. Foley?

  Somebody got me, stole my hubcap.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Really?

• 59:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, all of them, gone. Might have been a kid at Pep Boys, gave him a little lip.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  How about this one, 68, you do me and I owe you one.

• 59:23H. Foley?

  That's alright. You do me and I owe you one.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  These are all like Larry the Cable guy lines, this is awful.

• 59:30H. Foley?

  That's a homerun.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Ah, that's alright. Damn, alright, we gotta trick this thing out with, uh, let us know what trashy things we need on it. I say chromies, good mud flaps, maybe a bullet hole sticker, nothing crazy, I don't want it to look like we were in, you know, Sicario or nothing.

• 59:50H. Foley?

  Mogadishu.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what I mean? Uh, and then we needed some sort of, uh, uh, what are they called, the windshield slogans.

• 59:59H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  I don't know if slogans is the right word, but you'd catch.

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  How about a couple of sponsors?

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  For the van?

• 1:00:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, make it look like a fucking NASCAR car.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:00:10H. Foley?

  Bang this thing out.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Like, like what?

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  I don't know, STP, Getty Oil.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  They're not gonna give us any money.

• 1:00:17H. Foley?

  Whoever wants to play ball.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  They're gonna sit in a parking garage most of the time.

• 1:00:21H. Foley?

  Take this thing out to Daytona.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:00:23H. Foley?

  Show them what's up.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see, this one's from Big Titted Animal, great name. Uh, raise your hand if you used to ride in the bed of the truck that had a truck cover shell on it during road trips from Oregon to Southern California.

• 1:00:38H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  God damn. I had a lot of pillows and blankets back there, handheld games like poker, blackjack, and had a CD player and cassette play, cassette player with me. As a young kid, that's like a fort. You got pillows, you got blankets, those blackjack and poker games.

• 1:00:56H. Foley?

  Those windows on those things that opened up, man, those took many a fingers.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:03H. Foley?

  Those things, they closed hard.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, because they would lose the shot, like the piston would lose the shock or whatever.

• 1:01:09H. Foley?

  Back of the pickup, we did pretty regularly when I was a kid. My one buddy who was older,

• 1:01:19H. Foley?

  Johnny Mitt, had a truck.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:01:21H. Foley?

  And he was on the wrestling team, so he would drive us. And it would be him, some other senior or whatever in the front, and me and his brother in the back. Like, middle of winter, freezing.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:01:32H. Foley?

  But we took, my uncle had a truck with the cover on it.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:37H. Foley?

  From Lake Tahoe to Reno, Nevada. Can you give me how far that is, Lukey? Lake Tahoe is actually Serene Lakes, California to Reno, Nevada. This is when we went to that buffet. Me and my cousins rode in the back, and my brother, of a pickup truck. 1989.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Serene Lakes, Tahoe to Reno, Nevada?

• 1:02:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Forty-eight minutes.

• 1:02:04H. Foley?

  That's it?

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  That's the longest day of my life. Arduous journey.

• 1:02:11H. Foley?

  It felt like the Donner Pass. That's it, forty-eight minutes?

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  You are such a bozo, dude.

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  We were on the highway!

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  There's like three stop signs, dude.

• 1:02:21H. Foley?

  You gotta be doing it wrong.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  It's in Tahoe National Forest, and then it gets you right to Reno, man.

• 1:02:26H. Foley?

  Not Tahoe, do Serene Lakes, California.

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  I'm in Serene Lakes.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Thirty-eight minutes.

• 1:02:31H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, Reno's right over the border, man.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Forty-eight minutes. That's insane.

• 1:02:41H. Foley?

  Felt like three days.

• 1:02:46H. Foley?

  Lost a lot of good people on that trip. Ah, man. I stink. Forty-eight minutes, a bastard. Could've juiced it up for the program.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  He probably, he might have forty-four minutes.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  Forty-two, it passed his route.

• 1:03:01H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  You're avoiding tolls.

• 1:03:03H. Foley?

  No tolls.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  I drive around the lake.

• 1:03:05H. Foley?

  Dirtball.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Ah, that's too good. Uh, alright, let's see here. This is from Matty Mac. Family drove the Dodge Intrepid great car from Nova Scotia to Orlando to go to Disney World. Dude, Nova Scotia's at the top of the east coast of fucking...

• 1:03:20H. Foley?

  That ain't forty-eight minutes. I'll tell you that.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  With the stop in Myrtle Beach.

• 1:03:24H. Foley?

  I'm gonna say that's forty hours.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  It's gotta be. Thirty-six.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Thirty.

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  I mean, that's crazy.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  I mean, so, but figure you, it's thirty hours, figure you drive, you got a family, probably eight a day.

• 1:03:36H. Foley?

  Eight a day is crazy.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  That's a long day.

• 1:03:39H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  So, eight a day, what's that? That's...

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Psst, fi- fi- yeah, oh no, it's like four days. He said they only stopped in Myrtle Beach. That's, that can't be right.

• 1:03:53H. Foley?

  So, that's fucking fifteen hours. Oh, my god.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  That was the, that was my first introduction to people from Canada, was, a lot of people did Wild, did the Jersey Shore.

• 1:04:07H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  Cause it's like they would drive down, cause it's out of there, I guess the weather's probably a little nicer, cause like, you gotta figure like...

• 1:04:13H. Foley?

  Just stop in Rhode Island, forget about the great white sharks.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  But that water, that water's not that, that's free, I mean, it don't get to like, south Jersey level temperatures.

• 1:04:21H. Foley?

  Plus, they got killers in those waters.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Fuck that.

• 1:04:26H. Foley?

  You couldn't get me in the fucking bay in Rhode Island.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  I remember seeing, I remember seeing cars like from, they were all minivans from Quebec or Montreal in Wildwood and being like, you're from another planet, dude.

• 1:04:37H. Foley?

  Why was it, what, and listen, Disney World is unbelievable.

• 1:04:43H. Foley?

  But why was it always driving, they were, they're driving down, they're driving down.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  It's probably so expen- it's so expensive.

• 1:04:49H. Foley?

  I know, I know.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  So, you're like, if I can save, you know, fifteen hundred bucks, two grand...

• 1:04:55H. Foley?

  Dude, it's always Disney World. Think of how many families have gotten into fights and arguments.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  Most, most families in the country.

• 1:05:03H. Foley?

  Think of how many divorces have occurred on trips like that. This is it.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest with you, if you're driving from Nova Scotia to Califor- to Florida, you're probably getting divorced at some point. You guys have made the best life decisions at that, you know, thus far.

• 1:05:19H. Foley?

  Things are on the rocks, anywho.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're, you're, you're, you know, you're playing with a half stack. That's all I'm saying. Not throwing any shade, but.

• 1:05:26H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  You can go to Canada's Wonderland.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  I'd like to do the reverse.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  They have, yeah, that's their Disney theme park.

• 1:05:33H. Foley?

  Uh, is it an actual Disney?

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:05:36H. Foley?

  It's Misny. Yikes.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this was from, uh, Shy Link. Uh, "We drove to Texas from Chicago. There was too much luggage that I never had a seat. I had laid on a lot of flat surfaces for about sixteen some hours."

• 1:05:53H. Foley?

  That's so dangerous, man.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  That's brutal.

• 1:05:56H. Foley?

  You would be catapulted.

• 1:05:58Speaker 01

  Luke had to do that for a very long road trip.

• 1:06:01H. Foley?

  He was alright back there.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Dude, I felt, I'll listen, I don't feel bad for many people that I'm paying, but I did feel bad. That was his first real trip with us. He was all the way in the back. We had-

• 1:06:14H. Foley?

  He's like a hundred and twelve pounds.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  I know, but dude, that third row in some of those SUVs, that's why we went minivan. The minivan's always better. The third row in the SUV, the floor's higher, so your knees are in your fucking Adam's apple. And I mean, he had pelicans and hard shit, dude.

• 1:06:30H. Foley?

  Those pelicans would have squashed your brains like a bad peach.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  I remember looking back at some point being like, "I can't see Luke." That's how bad it was.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Had to do a little editing back then.

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's back there on a computer editing.

• 1:06:39H. Foley?

  It all worked out. You were on a goddamn tour bus, twenty-five hundred miles.

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  All worked out, baby. I got Route 66.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  Kids turn into, kids turn into all like pro, he's doing plugs and the few things that he's saying, that's pretty good where I come from. Already sold the windshield on the van.

• 1:06:57Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see here, um, this one, I'd like to get your take on this, this is just from dad, I think. My grandpa pissed in a bottle on a road trip, no biggie, but then this dude dumped it while driving on the highway and piss just came across the whole side of the van. We were never a pee in the car kinda, I mean. Nah, we weren't on the run from anybody. Maybe once or twice with my dad, if it was like, we were younger and it was like. Side of the road. Side of the road for sure, dude, all on the AC expressway, or if we were like, hey, we can't get over.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  And I'm like, I'm gonna pee myself, my dad's like, alright, find a water, you know, maybe, yeah. It's bad, I remember one time I was shit myself on the way back from an Eagles game. I think I wore a pair of my mom's jeans, I'm not even laughing, cuz I think.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  They were comfortable and they fit in all the right places. It was so cold, that I had to wear like, uh, I wore someone's jeans. I had to wear leggings under, like swept, like, cuz dude, this, we went to a game. Thermals. But we, we liked a lot of layers. It might have been my mom's like aerobics, you know, outfit for. Feel like a woman. Hot, woo, I'm up there doing the hip thrust. And one, and two, and three, and four. Um, and I remember my pants being so tight and we were at Byberry and Bustleton and I was ready to shit my pants, like, proper. It serves you right, six hot, six fucking soft pretzels. Soft pretzels, probably mulching diesels, chicken nuggets, french fry, whatever.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  And I remember everybody was in the car and my dad's like, undo your, and I was doing that thing where you. You're like, I was young, so I was not sitting, I would get, I'd push my feet on the ground and my shoulders on the back of the thing, so I was like. Straight, cuz my stomach hurts so bad, like, sitting at a 90-degree angle, that I needed some, I needed some move, like, I was breaking off the...

• 1:08:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, loosen up the large intestines.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Yes, and I was, I remember, dude, I remember, uh, my dad just being like, "Let me know if you're gonna go." And I was like, the first time, like, sweating, really concentrating on not, you know, but, all was fine, we made it home, or made it somewhere we could stop, but...

• 1:09:17H. Foley?

  Stopping at a friend's house, "Hey, the fat one's gotta dump one out."

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  Had to be rough, but, uh, I never, peeing in a bottle, rare, like, it for sure happened, for sure, for sure, for sure.

• 1:09:30H. Foley?

  I don't got the dick for it, first of all.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Nah, I didn't like that, cuz there's also other kids in the car, so you're like, older kids, you know? Or my sister's friends.

• 1:09:39H. Foley?

  I don't got the dick for it now, is what I'm saying. Back then, maybe I'd get away with it.

• 1:09:43Speaker 01

  I was six.

• 1:09:44H. Foley?

  I would just end up peeing in my face like a baby.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  Peeing in your nose?

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  I got in my dad's bed one time.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  Recently?

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  When I was like eight.

• 1:09:53Speaker 01

  You peed on him?

• 1:09:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was peeing, I remember me and my brother peeing in a bottle.

• 1:09:57H. Foley?

  You owe your money or something?

• 1:09:58Speaker 03

  All the time.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  In a bottle?

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, in the car.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  I mean, we did it enough, yeah.

• 1:10:01Speaker 03

  We did it so much. I just weirdly remember that, and then you get scared when it get to the top.

• 1:10:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, that, that panic, dude.

• 1:10:09H. Foley?

  Need a 32-ouncer for that. They can't do that in a can.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  I mean, we were lucky enough, we had enough Wawa iced tea bottles thrown around, I had a pretty big head for a young boy, you know what I mean?

• 1:10:20H. Foley?

  Kid fill up a half a gallon.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Couple Gatorade bottles floating around, couple of wide-mouthed boys.

• 1:10:26H. Foley?

  Quick at it, Kippy's computer died and Uncle Hank needed a hot chocolate.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  A little chai, a little, little hot chocolate chai latte you gotta go to.

• 1:10:32H. Foley?

  It's a green tea.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  Uh, also, guys, we're doing, my computer died because we're doing a longer episode today, since we are dropping the special this week, uh, that's making up for the, the second episode that typically comes out on Thursday.

• 1:10:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  So, uh, come Thursday, Wednesday night, you're looking for an episode, go watch the special.

• 1:10:51H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. Let that puppy run.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  And share with your friends. By that point, it could be at 10 million views, I don't know, we could be the next Mr. Beast.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  I could be building my own, uh, production company in North Carolina or something. I could be feeding, putting electricity in Africa or whatever that guy's doing.

• 1:11:09H. Foley?

  Give him Luke a million dollars for keeping his hand on the conversion van.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  That's pretty good. We could do that with the homies.

• 1:11:15H. Foley?

  To do what?

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  I don't know, some kind of contest. Give him ten bucks. Uh, alright, let's, uh, let's get back into it. This is one we haven't talked about. This is from Mr. Gambini. Shout out to the Gambinis and the whole Gambini crime family.

• 1:11:29H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 1:11:30Speaker 01

  Uh, three hour car ride and you stop at Wawa with 20 bucks, what's the lineup?

• 1:11:34H. Foley?

  Woo! Wait, we all have 20 bucks to split?

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  Sure. Or you're, you have your, you're not getting it on my 20. You're what, you're getting with 20 dollars.

• 1:11:43H. Foley?

  Yes. That's easy. Have we eaten?

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 1:11:49H. Foley?

  We're hungry.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  It's up to you. You, what do you want in this?

• 1:11:52H. Foley?

  I'm getting a classic, length, turkey hoagie with Swiss, mayo, lettuce, tomato, salt, pepper, oregano, lettuce, tomato, onion. I'm getting a bag of, if we're in a fantasy here, I'm getting a bag of hers barbecue corn chips, which I don't think they make anymore, but they were my favorite. If you want them, you gotta find them in the party mix, but you gotta dig through, because they got pretzels and shit. That's what I'm getting.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  You're going off things that don't exist.

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  We're going, I mean, let's really keep this rooted in reality. You're going to, what are you getting now?

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  They still exist.

• 1:12:26H. Foley?

  They still exist.

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  Do they sell them at Wawa?

• 1:12:28H. Foley?

  I don't think they sell them at Wawa.

• 1:12:29Speaker 03

  I can get them on Instacart.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, listen.

• 1:12:31H. Foley?

  Gotta go to the factory. Make a pit stop in Hanover.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:12:36H. Foley?

  Alright, fine.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  What do you, what do you mean?

• 1:12:38H. Foley?

  A bag of munchos.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  Fair enough.

• 1:12:41H. Foley?

  Because I like that combo.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  They will cut your mouth off. That, they are sodium.

• 1:12:45H. Foley?

  Big orange Gatorade.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:12:48H. Foley?

  And a bag of Snyder's, uh, chocolate cover pretzels.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  You're probably right around, I'll give you that, you're probably right at, give or take a buck.

• 1:12:56H. Foley?

  If I have a little leftover?

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  Maybe some of them candies at the...

• 1:12:59H. Foley?

  I'll put that in my acorns.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  Hey, round up. It's for yourself, you're a good kid.

• 1:13:04H. Foley?

  If I have a little leftover, a bag of Wildberry Skittles.

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:13:09H. Foley?

  Then I'll probably sleep for the rest of the show.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  Complain about the radio station.

• 1:13:15H. Foley?

  Put me to sugarcoating.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:13:17H. Foley?

  That would be my move.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Uh... I'm probably driving, so I can't really eat, so I'm going mostly snack. Uh, snack-based.

• 1:13:28H. Foley?

  I ain't never seen a guy drive as good as you with a bag of combos in your hand.

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 1:13:33H. Foley?

  With kids clack-a-lacking.

• 1:13:34Speaker 01

  Like Days of Thunder.

• 1:13:35H. Foley?

  Moves. I don't know how you do it, 'cause they got six hands.

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  I, listen, I'm very, my OCD, I'm very methodic, and I'm very, like, everything has its space, and I won't, I won't take off, I won't start moving, I won't back up unless everything can take a nice jostle and not spill. You know what I mean?

• 1:13:52H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  Got the dri- alright, so typically, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go Coke Zero between the legs. That's between the legs, that's about $2.50, $2.50. I got $17.50 left over. I'm definitely going, uh, Original Cheez-Its.

• 1:14:11H. Foley?

  Boxer bag.

• 1:14:12Speaker 01

  They, the bag.

• 1:14:13H. Foley?

  With a little grab bag, okay.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Well, the bigger bag, not the little 50-cent bag.

• 1:14:17H. Foley?

  Are you pre-opening that before you get on the road?

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  So the Cheez-Its go first.

• 1:14:22H. Foley?

  Cause I'm not doing it for you. Grab and go bag.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  The grab and go bag, thank you. Lot of times at Wawa and other places, they only have like the Parmesan, or the Snapt, or that bullshit.

• 1:14:30H. Foley?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  What are we doing?

• 1:14:32H. Foley?

  Get rid of the white cheddar, get rid of the extra toasted. Stop! You don't need all that shit.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  I'm...

• 1:14:38H. Foley?

  You made the best thing possible.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  I know. Well, extra toasted, I'll give ya. But it's like the...

• 1:14:43H. Foley?

  The big ones are just fun.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  The Parmesan, the Parmesan ones, or whatever, you're dry, I, I got, I'm, I got, I'm at 10 and 2 here, I got fucking Parmesan dust all over my hand.

• 1:14:51H. Foley?

  Oh, those white cheddars, that shit goes everywhere. It's like fake snow.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  Creating a water slick, I'm fucking whoop-whoop, I'm bebopping and scatting, so I'm gonna do the Cheez-Its, I'm gonna do the combos, I'm gonna do the gummy bears. Uh, gonna do a big thing of water. Maybe a pack of gum, and at the time, I was on the heaters, heaters, but no heaters. So that's about it.

• 1:15:09H. Foley?

  You're not getting that for all that for 20. Where you gonna get $10, what are we, in fucking the middle of fucking nowhere? Where you gonna get $10, cigarettes, to...

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  You named a foot-long hoagie.

• 1:15:21H. Foley?

  It's 13 inches.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  So, I mean, yeah, what do you mean?

• 1:15:25H. Foley?

  Think you can pull that off?

• 1:15:26Speaker 03

  If you're in the right state, for sure.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  Dude, the small bag of com-

• 1:15:29H. Foley?

  You're pinned down. You got Jersey, Philly, or you got Florida.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  A small bag of combos is like $3.

• 1:15:34H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:15:35Speaker 01

  I got like four things for $3. I'm probably under $15.

• 1:15:39H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  No heaters, but-

• 1:15:41H. Foley?

  You want to invest that, give me a call.

• 1:15:42Speaker 01

  Sure. Round that up. Can you put this in the big man's fucking, uh, acorns?

• 1:15:47H. Foley?

  I used to, um-

• 1:15:48Speaker 01

  I don't like eating in the car. I don't like eating while driving. It's just not the same. I like to get there, let's sit down and eat.

• 1:15:54H. Foley?

  It's one of my favorite things. I've told you, walking and eating's one of my favorite things, but eating in the car, having like a bunch of stuff in the bag, and just

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Picking up on something here. Just saying.

• 1:16:08H. Foley?

  It's a pattern for me.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Uh, this is another one. This is from Pierce. What's an appropriate amount of gas money to give to the driver for longer road trips? I'm talking five plus hours. You gotta-

• 1:16:22H. Foley?

  Start with a 20.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  I would, I think you gotta set, uh, uh, uh, terms of, you know, hey, we're gonna go one for one on the gas.

• 1:16:31H. Foley?

  You can't be a dirtball and do that shit, fucking, "Oh, we'll get you when we get back." That's gotta be upfront cash, and they shouldn't have to ask. Be a goddamn gentleman. This isn't a free ride. You got your fucking boy, you got wear and tear on his car, he's probably jammed up, alright? He'll probably show up filled once, you hit him right away. Listen, here's 20 for gas to get there. If there's four of ya, that's 60 bucks, that should cover it. To get there.

• 1:17:00Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:17:00H. Foley?

  And then on the way back, you do the same thing.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  I also think that the guy driving, unless he kinda demanded to drive, you know-

• 1:17:08H. Foley?

  Shouldn't pay for gas.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, there should be some like-

• 1:17:10H. Foley?

  Hey, 60 bucks, it'll fill the tank up.

• 1:17:11Speaker 01

  He's getting sweat equity out of this. It's like, hey, listen, I'll- You guys fill, you fill up every, you go, it's like two for one or something like that. Or I'll get your hotel when we, like, there's gotta be some, so he's gotta be making up a little bit on it. He's putting a wear and tear on his car.

• 1:17:25H. Foley?

  Get in the hotel, pay for the, we'll pay for the gas and the tolls, you drive. That's what it is. You're not, you're not moving, what are you, the hotel's got nothing to do with it. That's a separate business altogether.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Okay. Guy who doesn't wanna help his buddy out, clearly, what the hell?

• 1:17:39H. Foley?

  Pay for the hotel!

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  Why don't you say, whatever it comes to of like, hey, you're driving for six hours and it's your car. Also, these two bozos might not have a fucking car. So it's like, you're ma, this guy's making a whole trip.

• 1:17:50H. Foley?

  Split the room, we'll stay in the room together.

• 1:17:51Speaker 01

  Something, something, you just gotta, you gotta let him wet his beak, that's all I'm saying. Whether that's...

• 1:17:55H. Foley?

  Our snacks I got.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Give him combos, I don't care what you do.

• 1:17:58H. Foley?

  I got you on the snacks.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  Cause you ain't touching my hairy bos.

• 1:18:00H. Foley?

  I'm showing up with snacks. Big box of Cheez-Its. Two foot long hoods.

• 1:18:07Speaker 01

  Uh, I never liked that, oh, that, whoa, man, this is a fucking, I haven't thought about this in a long fucking time.

• 1:18:14H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  Climbing in the back.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  To get the food that we food shopped to take to the shore. Dude, climbing over the back.

• 1:18:24H. Foley?

  Wait, the stuff that wasn't for the car ride, but for the house when you get there?

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:28H. Foley?

  You fat fuck, you can't wait fucking two hours?

• 1:18:31Speaker 01

  Who are you calling a fat fuck? That is crazy. That is rude, that is uncalled for. But she'd be like, yeah dude, I, me and Dan, it seemed like you were crawling in, into a, into a cave.

• 1:18:44H. Foley?

  Like a VC title.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  Well, my mom's... The Taurus, I think, or whatever car at the time, maybe the Sebring?

• 1:18:51H. Foley?

  That's long, trying to get back there?

• 1:18:52Speaker 01

  But that the, the, the seat would drop down. So we, we dropped the backseat down, you could pull that lever, that backseat would drop down. You would crawl into the trunk, you'd be blind.

• 1:19:02H. Foley?

  This isn't a wagon?

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  No. We'd be blind reaching in the dark. You had to get past the luggage, cause the, the food was always the last thing in there. You put the big bags in the back, so we'd be like...

• 1:19:14H. Foley?

  That is like a tunnel rat.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, so he'd be like holding my feet or whatever and I'm back there just pulling out whatever I can pull out. And then we're also gathering intel on whoever packed the car. Typically Danny, he's going, it goes mom's bag, your bag, then the bag of barbecue.

• 1:19:29H. Foley?

  You're doing that from memory? If a roller bag fell on your head, you're freaking out, "Get me out of here!"

• 1:19:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, just blind, just reaching. My mom had, she'd be like, "Oh, whatever." Again, she's that ten and two.

• 1:19:41H. Foley?

  Cause she didn't want to stop.

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  No, she stopped a lot, but also, I mean, she's also going...

• 1:19:46H. Foley?

  It's a thing of chips ahoy back there.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  She's like, she's going, "Split the barbecue chips," or the goldfish. A lot of time you open up a fresh bag, like the proper house bag of goldfish in a car.

• 1:19:57H. Foley?

  Could've told me. Takes a long way, baby.

• 1:19:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't care, yeah. I'll take 55 all the way down, I got nothing but time. I even think one time I remember opening up a bag at lunch meat, like American cheese, and just me and Danny eating slices.

• 1:20:10H. Foley?

  Couple of rolls. Kids were on keto before they knew it.

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  That was, man, I haven't thought of that in a long time. Going back there and getting the food that was for the trip when you got there. We do that up the mountains. Up the mountains used to seem so much further.

• 1:20:25H. Foley?

  Going into that trunk, it was either real cold or real hot in there and you felt the difference. It always smelled good in there, though. That was the, that was usually the cleanest the car was. The new car smell stayed in the trunk for longer.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause nothing, nobody sweating in there, you're not farting in there.

• 1:20:42H. Foley?

  Yeah. I used to kinda like it. Liked the carpet in there.

• 1:20:45Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:20:45H. Foley?

  A little bit rougher.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, cheapo. You know, no one's like sitting on it, whatever, you just gotta cover it with something. Yeah.

• 1:20:51H. Foley?

  Being tied up in it was probably not fun. Throwing in the trunk.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  Did you ever do the thing where you put a guy in the trunk and he pulls the, to make, to see if the thing works? My Montego was the first car I had that had the emergency pulls. The first car any, me and my friends had that had the emergency pull, and we were tailgating somewhere for something, and my trunk was open with the beers. And some kids, like my boy Jevon's, like, "You got one of them?" I'm like, "Yeah." He's like, "Let's try it out." Shoved them in there, closed it, boom.

• 1:21:18H. Foley?

  Left them in there till the third quarter.

• 1:21:20Speaker 01

  Boom, you jump right out.

• 1:21:21H. Foley?

  I was also big on if we pulled in, if me and the boys pulled into Wawa or something like that, and like, one of the other crews was there? Or whatever, like one of the other, another, another friend?

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  Another dance crew or whatever, "You guys are gonna fucking beat..."

• 1:21:35H. Foley?

  Whoa. That sounded like fucking thunder.

• 1:21:39Speaker 01

  I thought, I thought the building was going down.

• 1:21:41H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:21:45H. Foley?

  I don't know if they heard that.

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  I don't, it's literally... I'll, I'll throw some camera audio. Jeez, do some shaking of the camera. That was earthquake level vibes.

• 1:21:55H. Foley?

  But I was big on, um, uh, when they got out, if they left their doors unlocked, I would go in, go in the backseat, crawl into the thing, and keep the thing, and keep the seat halfway up, so when they came in, I would scare the shit out of them.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ. That's fucking scream type shit. Fuck that.

• 1:22:14H. Foley?

  I was big on it.

• 1:22:16Speaker 01

  It's the Iceman.

• 1:22:19H. Foley?

  I did it to Frank Rizzolo one time. Shit his pants. Shout out to Frank.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this was with Caitlin, $10 Investor, Never Had One Read, going up. "We road tripped a lot because my brother had a severe fear of flying," which like, nice parents, cause like...

• 1:22:35H. Foley?

  Not gonna happen in the Foley house.

• 1:22:37Speaker 01

  What? If you're afraid of flying?

• 1:22:39H. Foley?

  I was pet, when we, the only time we flew when I was a kid was from Pennsylvania to, uh, to northern, to San Francisco. I was petrified.

• 1:22:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, I guess you're gonna be petrified.

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember, we do, we flew...

• 1:22:53H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  We flew down to Florida.

• 1:22:56H. Foley?

  That's a life lesson. You're doing, you gotta, you gotta put, put a stop to that.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  It's also the same thing, but it's like you're, you know...

• 1:23:02H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 1:23:03Speaker 01

  I don't know, man. I remember my brother wanted to fly home from Florida. Or he wanted to, he wanted, he didn't wanna fly home from Florida, and he was like, "Let's rent a car." And my stepdad and mom were like, "You can go fuck yourself. We'll leave you."

• 1:23:17H. Foley?

  I got work on Monday.

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, "We're not driving home, shit."

• 1:23:20H. Foley?

  Cause he was scared?

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, we had, the plane, so...

• 1:23:23H. Foley?

  Ah, alright, that's different.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  No, we, we took a...

• 1:23:25H. Foley?

  You're jammed up on the way down here.

• 1:23:27Speaker 01

  No, not us, and he heard, so, it was East Wind Airlines. They had two planes, that's it. Two or three planes. And the other plane had to do an emergency landing for like, oxygen or something. Not, nothing like, the wing didn't fall off. Like, something, whatever, they had to do something. They, um, so, we were waiting to fly back with people who were on that flight. We were already checked in, we're at the gate. And this, I remember this fat kid was like, "Yeah," he was like 20, probably. And he's sitting there and he's like, "Yeah, we had to do this on the way down and that on the way out, blah, blah, blah." And my brother was like, "Yo, I'm not getting on these goddamn machines." And he called my dad, he went to a payphone and called my dad and was like, "You have to come get me."

• 1:24:10H. Foley?

  Come get me?

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  Cause my mom and stepdad were like, "Get on the fucking plane, we're checked in."

• 1:24:14H. Foley?

  So he, no way your dad did that.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  No, he was like, I think relatively entertaining it.

• 1:24:19H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  But also was like, hey-

• 1:24:21H. Foley?

  Where the fuck was he gonna stay for the 20 hours it took him to get down there?

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  Who?

• 1:24:25H. Foley?

  Your brother.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  I don't mean that, he didn't think it through, he didn't get accommodations yet. Also, that meant like, my mom or stepdad had to stay with him. I mean, he's probably 13? Just leave him in the terminal?

• 1:24:40H. Foley?

  For 20 bucks?

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  So-

• 1:24:42H. Foley?

  What are you gonna get?

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  I think my dad finally like calmed, you know, was like, "Hey dad, it's okay, whatever." And my stepdad was like, "Sit next to me," which like, he wasn't, you know, he wasn't the guy he'd sit next to. But I remember him going, "Look, but you can balance and what," I remember being like, "You ain't scared, this shit's nuts." I mean, yeah, it was tough.

• 1:24:57H. Foley?

  I told you this, but not that long ago, good friend of our family, uh, they live in Costa Rica. They were flying, I think they were in Miami or something like that, they got like over the water. Or they were coming from Philly and they were like about to get over the water, like the engine went.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  Okay, why are we talking about that?

• 1:25:14H. Foley?

  And then they fucking, they, they turned around, they landed, the next day they got, I think they got on the same plane. They fixed it, got on the same plane and blew out.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  Uh huh, yeah.

• 1:25:23H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 1:25:24Speaker 01

  Sure. Uh, but this is back to Caitlin's question. Growing up, uh, road trip because a lot, uh, my brother had a severe fear of flying. My family would load in our 1990 Chevy G20 van that my dad had bungee corded a TV to the floor of the van and we would watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on the way to, on the way from Idaho to Florida. Snacks for days and not a seatbelt in sight.

• 1:25:49H. Foley?

  Woo, now that's clear, tell me Lord of the Rings.

• 1:25:52Speaker 01

  What's a Chevy G20 look like? Let me see here, Chevy G20.

• 1:25:56H. Foley?

  Oh man, that's rough.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  That's all, I mean though-

• 1:25:59H. Foley?

  That's a good dad right there.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  That's a, it's a conversion van.

• 1:26:02H. Foley?

  How, listen, fear of, how scared would you have to be? Like, what type of signs would you have to be, like, I, you, the kid would have to be hysterically crying the first time that we tried to do that. Like, they would, like, listen, I'll do it, but you're gonna have to freak out to show me that you're really, really scared.

• 1:26:22Speaker 01

  I know-

• 1:26:22H. Foley?

  You're not just saying, "I don't wanna fly, I'm scared."

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  I get, I, listen-

• 1:26:25H. Foley?

  I'm gonna need you to have a tantrum, freak out, you're gonna need medicine, the whole nine yards.

• 1:26:31Speaker 01

  But, I, I don't know, I'm no parent yet, but I would assume that there is some sort of, like, uh, that thing of, like, "Hey, you gotta get through this, you, you, you gotta face this, there's up to a point of-

• 1:26:43H. Foley?

  Gotta face the fear.

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  You gotta face the adversity, you gotta face the fear, you gotta do this, you're gonna, your life's gonna be-

• 1:26:48H. Foley?

  You gotta get on the goddamn plane, I gotta work in two days.

• 1:26:51Speaker 01

  Get your fucking ass on the plane.

• 1:26:53H. Foley?

  That's what my dad would do.

• 1:26:54Speaker 01

  That's what my mom would do, "Get on the plane, right now, it's 90 minutes, I got you candy, I didn't pay $3,000 to come down here and for you to not wanna go home, get on the plane."

• 1:27:05H. Foley?

  "I got you candy."

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  I'd really throw, everything she ever bought ya, throw in your face. "I come all the way down here, ababababee, ababababop." Uh, alright, let's see, this is what, uh, Brandon, la, okay, it's also just funny,

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  uh, you really see the dirtbag places due to the questions. Also, lot of dirtbag, lot of guys, the, and gals that listen to the show, lot of road trips.

• 1:27:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  It's all northeast to Florida-

• 1:27:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:36Speaker 01

  And nor, like, Midwest to Texas, it's like, those are like the four, those are the four parts that a lot of people listen to, it's just funny. "Is it garbage to road trip from Texas to New Jersey every year during the holidays to incentivize your family to give us more gifts? Hey, we're driving and not flying, you can fit a whole lot more in a car than you can your carry-on." "They also feel bad we're coming a long way, how you doing?"

• 1:27:59H. Foley?

  I mean, that is, once, is one thing. Every year, I hope that ain't Thanksgiving, that's a quick weekend.

• 1:28:08Speaker 01

  What? Oh, no, that's Christmas, that's gotta be Christmas, you're getting gifts.

• 1:28:11H. Foley?

  And you're staying for two weeks at least, or the week, that's-

• 1:28:15Speaker 01

  I don't know, Jersey to Texas is probably four, five, four days?

• 1:28:19H. Foley?

  Dude, what the fuck, man? What are you talking about?

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  That's so long.

• 1:28:22H. Foley?

  You gotta wait till the kids are out of school? You're chewing up half the vacation? Not to mention, the fucking drive back!

• 1:28:29Speaker 01

  I know, but hold on.

• 1:28:31H. Foley?

  That's eight days right there!

• 1:28:32Speaker 01

  But, I think we're looking at this wrong. It's very, I'm not trying to do the plug, but it's very Route 66. The journey is the thing. You're with your-

• 1:28:41H. Foley?

  Once, every year!

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  Maybe they, maybe they bond on it and they get a lot of good convo- Hey, listen, we, we come from, you put us in cars, it's hell in its cell. Maybe these kids were like, you know, we like stopping here, we, we go to this same, you know, I'm just saying, for a lot of people, that could be the enjoyable part, and they hate getting down there and talking to their family. But they're like, hey, our family together gets to go and experience this. Or maybe the dads hitting them, I don't know.

• 1:29:09H. Foley?

  God damn.

• 1:29:10Speaker 01

  That's a-

• 1:29:11H. Foley?

  God, God love you. God love your father for doing that.

• 1:29:14Speaker 01

  Sure, that's a, that is a, that's a tough one, I feel.

• 1:29:17H. Foley?

  That family better have made with the presents. Might be a pile you can see from the goddamn driveway.

• 1:29:22Speaker 01

  Don't be giving me socks or no shit, I, you're not jamming up my, my week.

• 1:29:26H. Foley?

  Every transformer available at Toys R Us, please.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  Uh, this is-

• 1:29:31H. Foley?

  Start shopping early.

• 1:29:32Speaker 01

  Alright, let's run through a couple more. This is from Chalk, Chalk City. Uh, road trip from DMV to visit uncle outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico.

• 1:29:43H. Foley?

  What's DMV?

• 1:29:44Speaker 01

  Uh, DC.

• 1:29:45H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 1:29:46Speaker 01

  What is it, DC, Maryland, Virginia?

• 1:29:49H. Foley?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:29:49Speaker 01

  DMV, I believe, is that right? Get, get eyes on that, DC to Albuquerque. That's gotta be... That's long as shit. That's coast to coast. Uh, almost.

• 1:30:02H. Foley?

  Almost, coast to coast. That's pretty good.

• 1:30:05Speaker 01

  What do you got, Lucas?

• 1:30:06Speaker 03

  27 hours.

• 1:30:07Speaker 01

  Ah, dude.

• 1:30:12Speaker 01

  It's like four, yeah, four or five days. Uh, road trip from DMV to visit uncle, that must have been a really good uncle. Outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico, driving straight, wait, hold on, driving straight for 30 hours with my buddy. Drove two tanks of gas each shift, staying awake with a cart and a mar bread, one Hondos for driving time and left-handed cigs for sleepy time.

• 1:30:35H. Foley?

  Whoa. That had to be an uncle you thought was gonna leave you money in the will.

• 1:30:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're going to check it.

• 1:30:40H. Foley?

  What are you bringing your dirtbag buddy for?

• 1:30:42Speaker 01

  Listen.

• 1:30:42H. Foley?

  Maybe at a ranch or something?

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  This uncle probably ain't great. They're probably, you know, he's probably a cooker or something out there in the desert, get their hands on some fucking blue magic.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  Uh, wait, hold on, let me see, they drove two tanks of gas each shift. So one guy would, you know, figure two, a tank of gas gets you four hours or something like that, right? So you're driving four or five, so you're driving like 10 hours straight yourself. Cranking heaters.

• 1:31:12H. Foley?

  Man, that's nuts.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  And then switching over. And that guy's doing that.

• 1:31:17H. Foley?

  On the highway.

• 1:31:18Speaker 01

  I'd be ner- yeah. Throw it in cruise control, fucking.

• 1:31:22H. Foley?

  Do the switch?

• 1:31:23Speaker 01

  I'd be mad nervous about the other guy while I'm sleeping. I wouldn't be able to sleep.

• 1:31:29H. Foley?

  Would not be sleeping comfortably.

• 1:31:31Speaker 01

  Nah, I couldn't do it. I couldn't.

• 1:31:33H. Foley?

  Unless, okay, so they were sleeping for 10 hours, then you, I don't know, you'd have to really make sure somebody's awake.

• 1:31:39Speaker 01

  Those lines, that's like hypnotists. Next thing you know, you're taking your pants off in front of a crowd or something. Or whatever they do. That's what happened. I've never seen a hypnotist. Have you ever seen one?

• 1:31:51H. Foley?

  In person?

• 1:31:52Speaker 01

  No, on TV, yeah, in person.

• 1:31:54H. Foley?

  I don't think so.

• 1:31:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember they did it at my school like a few years before us and it got a little freaky naughty. And for my brother's grade and they stopped it after that, some, I think some broad took her shirt off or like gave a guy a lap dance or something. And they were like, no, no, no.

• 1:32:10H. Foley?

  Now, my one buddy's mom in high school was, you know, she would, she would date one freak after another. You know, like guys that were like real like holistic and into this and there was one guy was trying to get us to come out with him to shroom in a yurt. To like have like a spiritual experience.

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  We didn't do it. No, no shit.

• 1:32:29H. Foley?

  But I, she dated a hypnotist and we were over at his place. And he, maybe he hypnotized one of my buddies or something like that? I don't know, I didn't really buy that shit.

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:32:39H. Foley?

  Goddamn Catholic.

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  Alright, let's see, we got two more here. This was from Ian, uh, not a garbage question, but what's the minimum, and I've gone over this. What's the minimum amount of time you need to be on the road before you stop for a bathroom break? We're typically a one-hour crew.

• 1:32:53H. Foley?

  I'll, listen, I've said this before, I was stunned to find out your leniency with that.

• 1:33:00Speaker 01

  You really paint me a bad guy.

• 1:33:02H. Foley?

  I'm just saying, growing up, it would have to be a minimum of five hours. Pee before you leave. My dad never wanted to stop. You're pretty willy-nilly with it.

• 1:33:12Speaker 03

  I was worried when we were first doing car trips and I can't.

• 1:33:14Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:33:15H. Foley?

  He's great, he's the sweetest, sweetest guy.

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  I am a sweet guy, I turn on being a dickhead for camera and clicks. You fat pussy. Now suck my dick with your ass.

• 1:33:26H. Foley?

  It gets you hungry.

• 1:33:27Speaker 01

  What? Stopping.

• 1:33:29H. Foley?

  I'm saying.

• 1:33:30Speaker 01

  It gets me hungry?

• 1:33:31H. Foley?

  If I know you're hungry, I can know I can get a stop out of you because you want your combo.

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  I stop every hour, dude, I'm an hour guy, and if someone goes, hey, at 37 minutes from the last stop, if someone goes, I'm looking for a stop, I pop out. What, what's the rush? I like to heat, first of all, we got about six, typically six guys in a van, right?

• 1:33:50H. Foley?

  Excuse me.

• 1:33:50Speaker 01

  That's six different, uh, six different wieners, six different digestive tracts. Lot of stuff going on, we're not, it also like, you know, we're not eating rice and chicken here. The boys are doing.

• 1:34:04H. Foley?

  You like your honey roasted peanuts, don't you?

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  Sure, it's also, yeah, so I stop, we, heater stop, pee stops, also I got a tiny little bladder. I gotta, I gotta pee a lot of times.

• 1:34:15H. Foley?

  But no heaters.

• 1:34:17Speaker 01

  No heaters, now, now, the no heaters, we're doing six hours straight through.

• 1:34:20H. Foley?

  Put a turtleneck in that conver- conversion van.

• 1:34:22Speaker 01

  But I think if you're driving with a lot of people, you gotta get on board. If you, if you're like, I wanna stop every five hours, the other guy wants to stop every two hours, you gotta meet in the middle. It, it, you're a team here, you know what I mean?

• 1:34:31H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:32Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see, this is, will be the last one, this is from Ricky Ticky Bobbin Wobbin. Uh, uh, "Once a while back, me and a few buddies were driving from Minnesota to Las Vegas. One of them shit their pants and had to stop at a self-service car wash to hose him off. The only thing opened that late in the middle of nowhere."

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  While spraying, while in the middle of spraying the mud off, the door between the stalls opened. And it was a guy, an Asian man frozen in shock to see a butt naked guy getting sprayed by another guy with a hose.

• 1:35:07H. Foley?

  That's a good friend, man.

• 1:35:08Speaker 01

  We ran out there, he threw his pants away and had to do the last 12 hours wrapped in a t-shirt from the waist down.

• 1:35:16Speaker 01

  Also, who only brings one pair of pants to Vegas?

• 1:35:18H. Foley?

  Clean as a whistle.

• 1:35:19Speaker 01

  That's crazy. That dude, I would like that once a week, just like a nice, you're going to jail power washing.

• 1:35:26H. Foley?

  The Rambo scrub?

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  Just de-louse ya, hit ya with the powder.

• 1:35:29H. Foley?

  Get in the butthole, I would scrub out that butthole, that'd be great.

• 1:35:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:35:33H. Foley?

  Man, that is a fucking great road trip, and that's a good friend right there.

• 1:35:38Speaker 01

  Dude, you gotta spray me down. Also, that's gotta hurt, man. You gotta, you really, you really gotta trust that guy with your fucking, with your jewels, dude. Really trust that friend not to, not to open up your ball bag with a power washer.

• 1:35:51H. Foley?

  But just think of how bad that car smelled. They wouldn't, dude shit in his pants.

• 1:35:57H. Foley?

  Grown man?

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  Alright, we gotta wrap it up, man.

• 1:36:03H. Foley?

  When I say stop, you better pull over.

• 1:36:05Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:36:06H. Foley?

  What a fun one, gang. The Route 66, Route 66 Tour is gonna be dropping February 25th. If you're watching this on Sunday or Monday, it comes out tomorrow.

• 1:36:15Speaker 01

  Get, watch, go, go click the link, the link should be up. Go click the link to, to the reminder. Share with your friends. If you're, if you're an audio listener, subscribe to the YouTube channel, we need.

• 1:36:26H. Foley?

  You gotta watch it, baby.

• 1:36:27Speaker 01

  All hands on deck. This is one of the proudest, the most proud thing we've ever made. This is the, you know, we, we put the most time and effort and resources into making this. As cool as we possibly could for the, for the, the homies and the bozos. We're, we're so stoked with it, we can't wait to share it with you. Go watch it, please.

• 1:36:43H. Foley?

  And we also can't thank you enough to letting us be able to do this.

• 1:36:46Speaker 01

  It's, it means the world to us. And if you guys continue supporting us, we'll continue, you know, making fucking, uh, content we think you guys like.

• 1:36:54H. Foley?

  See you out on Route 66, gang. Peace. Peace.