Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions about Field Trips. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Express VPN: Protect your online privacy TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/garbage Bilt Rewards: Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to https://joinbilt.com/garbage. Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/garbage and get on your way to being your best self Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Live shows, live shows, live shows, baby. The boys are about to hit the road for that Back on the Block Tour, so grab the squad and come on out and see us.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're starting in San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The boys are coming home. Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Canada. Get your tickets at areyougarbage.com. Love yous, see you there.

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:44H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Hell, yeah!

• 0:52H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  And just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. Shout out to her, just earned her yellow belt.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:08H. Foley?

  Over there in South Philly, Kung-Fu and karate.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Hi-yah!

• 1:13H. Foley?

  And pet store. So, good for her. Watch out, man.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  She's on a tear.

• 1:18H. Foley?

  Kick your ass.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:20H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage, and what he lacks in physical appearance, he makes up for in personality and wild things in the bedroom. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  What up, gang?

• 1:33H. Foley?

  Hey, buddy.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, by the way. Those numbers are cooking.

• 1:44H. Foley?

  Woo wee! One of the charts over there.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:47H. Foley?

  One of the goddamn charts!

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Go over there, get all that bonus content.

• 1:54H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  And then, last but not least.

• 1:57H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  The Back on the Block Tour Fall and Winter Tour Dates are on sale right now at areyougarbage.com.

• 2:04H. Foley?

  Coming to the Metropolitan in Philadelphia.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  The boys are coming all over the place. Talking San, I'm talking San Fran. They don't like calling it San Fran. It's SF I hear.

• 2:15H. Foley?

  San Francisco.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  I'm going San Francisco. We're doing Portland. We're doing Seattle. We're doing Richmond.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Raleigh.

• 2:20H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  The other one, Charlotte, Baltimore.

• 2:24H. Foley?

  Boston.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Philly, Boston, New Hampshire.

• 2:27H. Foley?

  Toronto.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Toronto, Rochester. These are all over the map.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  Can't wait to get back out there, gang. Grab your tickets, are you garbage dot com. You're not the prettiest girl to dance, you know?

• 2:38Speaker 01

  What? I don't know what that means.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  And what are you doing at a dance? You're 50, you weirdo. You fucking creepo.

• 2:47H. Foley?

  But you will do weird sex stuff if the car's nice enough.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Uh, is that, is that what you've heard about me? Is that, is that, is that my iTunes reviews you've been?

• 2:55H. Foley?

  I'll do a lot for a dinner. I'll have Red Lobster.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  You've been scrolling on?

• 2:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:01H. Foley?

  Let's get into the heart of the matter here today. We're here for a little family episode, a little themed episode, which the kids have been loving. They've been cooking up the charts out there.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  This one, we're going all the way back.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Which I have to, you know, we, we got a, I got a little self, self-aware here.

• 3:15H. Foley?

  What's that?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  We, we, I don't know, the past month or so, we put together a run of guests that was unmatched.

• 3:23H. Foley?

  Shout out to all the boys.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  I had to call Joe Hollywood to get some of them guys in here. I was, I was calling in every favor I got.

• 3:29H. Foley?

  Still got a couple coming up, though.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Do we?

• 3:32H. Foley?

  I think so.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Who's, who do you got?

• 3:34H. Foley?

  Don't we?

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Cher coming in?

• 3:36H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Do you believe in love at all?

• 3:40H. Foley?

  You see Cher from back in the seventies when she did the Sonny and Cher show?

• 3:44Speaker 01

  That was, I mean.

• 3:45H. Foley?

  Hot.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  That's, that, dude, that might as well have been me looking at people from the 1300s. That was so far back to, like, because at that point, the, the fashion was so different, the quality of the video was so different. He was dead by the time.

• 3:58H. Foley?

  Free love, baby.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like.

• 4:00H. Foley?

  Smoking doobies, taking lewds.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  She, for the, I first knew her as the guy. She was, no, she was married to the guy who died skiing.

• 4:10H. Foley?

  Sonny Bono.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Skis, horses.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  He was a senator, I believe. He became a senator, wasn't he? Senator Sonny Bono?

• 4:15Speaker 01

  He don't, do you know who Sonny Bono is?

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Just by name.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  You don't know who Han Solo is?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  No, NATO.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  United States representative.

• 4:23H. Foley?

  United States representative.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  What state?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Party land. What?

• 4:28H. Foley?

  I don't know. I think he did a lot of drugs back in the day.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  The United States of funk, if you catch my drift.

• 4:35H. Foley?

  Talking about the parliament.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Mayor of Palm Springs, California, in California's 44th district.

• 4:42H. Foley?

  Man, mayor of Palm Springs, talking about an easy gig.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Talk about getting your D.S.ed. You are out there in Palm Springs.

• 4:51H. Foley?

  Fucking closing at Boca del Vista.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Ain't nothing wrong with that.

• 4:57H. Foley?

  That's what you do. You get down there to Florida, you relax a little bit. That's what you gotta do. Get some color, go down there to Boca. You take Junior's place. Find a nice lady that works the immaterials department at fucking Sears or something like that.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  So where's my wife in this mix?

• 5:14H. Foley?

  Oh, I forgot. Gunning up the works. I don't take them broads down there. Not your wife, I'd take the...

• 5:20Speaker 01

  I don't know, I don't know what reality you're creating. First of all, first of all, didn't he say Palm?

• 5:25H. Foley?

  I don't know, Sonny Boto's the president.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  He said Palm Springs, California, you ended up in Florida.

• 5:28H. Foley?

  Oh, is that right? Is there a Palm Springs, California?

• 5:30Speaker 01

  That's the Palm Springs.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  What's Palm Springs in Florida?

• 5:34Speaker 01

  That's where dudes go to get...

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Get topped off on spring break.

• 5:40H. Foley?

  Isn't there a Palm Springs?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Palm Beach.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  Well, that's where I'm going.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  I'll see you out there.

• 5:48H. Foley?

  Hey, get on a Palm Beach, get on a Boca, relax for a little bit. Walk, play a little golf.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  What are you talking to me? I'm doing, I'm doing well. What are you talking about? You get up, you go, you fucking go somewhere.

• 6:00H. Foley?

  I should.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Telling me what to do. You go do something.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  I should. Take a cruise by myself.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Why don't you take, why don't you take a field trip?

• 6:07H. Foley?

  Hey!

• 6:08Speaker 01

  And we're back.

• 6:09H. Foley?

  That's what I, that little Franklin Institute.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  You gotta, you gotta go somewhere, learn, expand your horizons.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  You know, open your eyes a little bit.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  Expand my horizons. Get off the family plane.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  I'm a singular man.

• 6:21H. Foley?

  Let's talk about it, gang. Talking about field trips today. Who doesn't remember, or was it a pivotal moment in your childhood? The first big field trip, the field trip that went wrong? You had money, you didn't have money, your parents were prepared, maybe they weren't prepared? Something fucked up happened when you were down there, somebody got shot?

• 6:39Speaker 01

  A good, dude, a good, a good field trip in, that was coming up in the spring? That get, that get you through the fall and the winter. That kept you going to school every day. That kept the grades up. That kept you out of your parents. You go, fuck around, you might not be able to go to the, the, the good field trips, they would always... The school, as well as your parents would be like, if you messed up at school, they'd go, if you do this-

• 7:01H. Foley?

  You're not gonna go on the field trip.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  You're not gonna go to wherever it was.

• 7:04H. Foley?

  That was usually bullshit. Oh, what are you gonna leave me here by myself?

• 7:07Speaker 01

  No, you had to sit in the cafeteria with the other dingbats.

• 7:12H. Foley?

  Turn this place into a blockbuster while you're gone?

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:15H. Foley?

  I don't know what that meant.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Me either. I rolled with it. Palm Springs, ladies and gentlemen. Palm Springs, Florida.

• 7:20H. Foley?

  Why couldn't every day, like, those were the times where like-

• 7:23Speaker 01

  What, every day be a field trip?

• 7:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, like, those were the days where I-

• 7:27Speaker 01

  That's called, straight chillin', dog.

• 7:29H. Foley?

  Those were the days where I felt like, you know, like I was in the movie. Like, I felt like I was, like I was going to school. Like, it felt good. The shower felt better that morning. Breakfast felt better that morning. You'd get your cooler with your snacks and your drinks and all that kinda stuff to have on the bus. You get, you get like 20 bucks from mom and dad to spend down at the gift shop wherever you were going.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  You, yeah.

• 7:51H. Foley?

  You know? That's when it was fun.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz the rest of the day, your brain... What we call it in the medical field, ain't good at learning.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  Mm-mm.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  So if you're sit-

• 8:02H. Foley?

  I used to get sleepy.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  I'd get sleepy right away when I, as soon as they started, that teacher started talking, I'm tired.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Dude, that's like a dog. We try to train on them. You get like 30 minutes with them before their brain overheats and they gotta lay down.

• 8:14H. Foley?

  It's fucking hot in there. Shut up!

• 8:17Speaker 01

  They call on you twice. I gotta take a nap. I gotta shut this down.

• 8:19H. Foley?

  I liked it in, being in a nice, cool, science lab with those black, uh, desks, those black tables that were nice and cool. The air conditioning pumping, turn the lights- Off and put on a fucking documentary from like the late eighties about water. About like precipitation and they would show like.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  You hear, you hear the, the rainfall.

• 8:41H. Foley?

  Trickling and they'd show streams from the mountains and stuff like that.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Babbling brook.

• 8:46H. Foley?

  I'd be fucking out.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:48H. Foley?

  Two seconds.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Put your, put your hood up.

• 8:50H. Foley?

  Gone.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Heads up, seven up.

• 8:53H. Foley?

  Just dreaming. Just dreaming and chilling.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 8:57H. Foley?

  That's school to me.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  What was your, do you remember your favorite?

• 9:01H. Foley?

  Field trip?

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Field trip.

• 9:02H. Foley?

  I mean.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Palm Springs, eighty-eight.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Me and Sonny Bono.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  I got a bag of yak down there, talk about fish scales.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Me and Sonny Bono went water skiing. This guy knows his way up.

• 9:16H. Foley?

  I can't water ski. I don't have the.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Weight, weight problem?

• 9:19H. Foley?

  I don't have, no, I don't have the, the, the centrifugal balance to go water skiing.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Centrifugal balance?

• 9:24H. Foley?

  It's something that lines up. I can't get up.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're front heavy.

• 9:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, it's like pulling a Mack truck out of a bog. You need a good winch. No rope's gonna do that.

• 9:36H. Foley?

  Got kelp all over me. Um, the Franklin Institute, man, that was, that was, that was the one.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  That was a big one in, uh, in for, for, for, for Philadelphia, the Franklin Institute was like, uh, get the exact definition of. I mean, it was a museum, it was an interactive experience. They had the first dome. No, was that the dome?

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Planetarium.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  No, but the, the screen.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  Planetarium.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  That wasn't the planetarium.

• 10:00H. Foley?

  Yes, it is. That's what it's called. It's called a planetarium.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  No, the planetarium's like you look up at the sky.

• 10:04H. Foley?

  No, that's what it is.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  I know, but that screen.

• 10:07H. Foley?

  Sky.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 10:08H. Foley?

  I saw nerve, I saw laser.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Nirvana at the Franklin.

• 10:11H. Foley?

  No, I saw laser light shows down there. We used to get down to the Franklin Institute and see laser light shows in college.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  A cool, a couple of cool guys.

• 10:19H. Foley?

  Drop a couple of tabs of sunshine and fucking head down.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  It's a science museum in Philadelphia. You talking about IMAX? No.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  No.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  What?

• 10:28H. Foley?

  It's the planetarium.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  I know, they got IMAX there, too. That wa- it was more, it was more of a movie screen. I'm not saying they didn't show that, but they also showed like, you'd be on like a helicopter flying through the city. When I was back when I was back.

• 10:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, maybe they had, maybe they upgraded it.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, that was, I mean.

• 10:42H. Foley?

  Ours was just the stars.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  And they had that thing that looked like a telescope in the middle and it would go around. And it felt like the, uh, like the place was moving.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  That was always big. We were always big on, uh, and also too, Disc, Discman had just dropped. They, Discman dropped when I was in, it's like they, everybody kinda had them in fifth and sixth grade. So I mean, you, you and your boys on, what CDs you got? CD books, be flipping, oh, let me get the DMX CD, let me get that. That was when hip-hop was in it. Hey, day.

• 11:12H. Foley?

  Couple of tough guys back there.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Talking Tupac, I'm talking Jay-Z.

• 11:17H. Foley?

  We didn't have that shit. We just listened to, I remember listening to classic rock on a field trip. The bus driver was this old Vietnam vet and he used to crank 93.3 WMMR.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  Listening to that on the way down.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  That memes more rock. Talking about President Steve. I'm talking about Jackie, uh, Pierre Robert.

• 11:36H. Foley?

  Pierre Robert. Sure, I met Pierre Robert.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 11:38H. Foley?

  Did you?

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, shout out to him. He was friends with somebody through the theater, through the Hedgerow Theater. I can't remember how.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Well, he's going back to that black ass theater.

• 11:46H. Foley?

  Wait, was he boi- I think he was boys with one of my friends in high school's dads. I think he was boys with Mr. Gabriel, to be honest with you.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Google that. See if Pierre Robert was friends with Mr. Gabriel. Don't you wish the internet was that?

• 11:58H. Foley?

  Shout out to Anthony.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Dude, every time I can't find my keys, I'm like, if I could just Google where my keys are, what more do you need?

• 12:06H. Foley?

  What are you doing, bits on me?

• 12:07Speaker 01

  No, is that a bit?

• 12:08H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Should I try that?

• 12:09H. Foley?

  It's gonna be.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  I call dibs, you take it.

• 12:12H. Foley?

  I remember one time that bus driver put on Stern and, uh...

• 12:16Speaker 01

  Everybody sitting in the back was stingers. He had a broad on top of his subwoofer.

• 12:22H. Foley?

  I think I was in like 7th grade or something like that. We were listening to Stern. And fucking, I remember the next day it wasn't on and like somebody had, somebody's parents had called and complained.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 12:33H. Foley?

  But he don't get fired. I wonder what it was back then.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  A couple of strikes.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Well, this is, so obviously, uh, most of our listeners are in their, you know, most of them in their twenties, thirties and forties, you know, they're all, they're all people of our age. There's not a, not a lot of children listening to this. Uh, so a lot of these stories take place in the eighties and nineties where you're like, oh, there's no way this would happen now. You know what I mean? Uh...

• 12:58H. Foley?

  Do they do that shit though? Like now? Like, cause I remember a big one in, uh, I think we were in high school, was we came up to New York.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  So I got robbed of that. I was supposed to go, it was 9/11. We were supposed to go, we were supposed to go like, we always, every school, we always went in September, the end of September. Like, dude, I'm talking permission slip signed, had my, you know, eighteen fifty in like eighteen dollars and fifty cent check written out.

• 13:23H. Foley?

  Where were you going? Do you remember? Where were you gonna go when you got up here?

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Uh, I think we were gonna hit the cellar then try to pop a...

• 13:29H. Foley?

  Couple of sets at the Boston? Were you gonna go to the World Trade Center? I guess you were, probably.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Probably there in like MoMA or something? I don't know.

• 13:37H. Foley?

  I know more.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Uh, yikes. So we, that, we're, that and DC, they were the same week we were supposed to do.

• 13:44H. Foley?

  I'd have you fuckers on a list. I don't like that. Had that all planned out, didn't ya, huh?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  Also supposed to go to Central PA too. Um, so we didn't, we didn't get to have that. That was the big one. That was the one you would hear. People would go up and like, you know, get, they'd go to Times Square, you'd get like a switchblade, fucking fake IDs.

• 14:01H. Foley?

  Some even buy a nickel bag of weed or something like that?

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, oh no, you're allowed to, cause you were like, on, some chaperones would be like, yeah, just meet back here at five. Some chaperones would be like, we're go, moving as a group.

• 14:14H. Foley?

  Which is insane. Taking fucking high school kids in New York City, meet back here at five.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Different time.

• 14:20H. Foley?

  What?

• 14:22H. Foley?

  Come back with a tat- come back with a tattoo and a wife.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  My boy in New York, who grew up in New York, they would take the subway. They're like, "Oh, we're all going to the whatever. We're all going to the Met." So they take the subway, and he's like, "We would go in between the train cars and like, smoke a blunt." On our- it's like-

• 14:42H. Foley?

  City kids are built different.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, fucking wild.

• 14:45H. Foley?

  I like it out there in the burbs.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  I'm a yellow cheese bus kind of guy.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  Uh, my favorite- my favorite one was, we went down to the Edgar Allan Poe house in Philly. Which was awesome.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  That's pretty good.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, we were studying, it was, it was a-

• 14:59Speaker 01

  You're a, you're a poetry queef.

• 15:01H. Foley?

  As you, as you got, of course, um, uh, as you got older, they got smaller, which was great. I remember that one-

• 15:12Speaker 01

  It wasn't the whole school would be like, these couple social studies classes.

• 15:15H. Foley?

  The one was, I think, just my English class.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, yeah.

• 15:18H. Foley?

  And it was like, it was like, maybe fifteen of us, and we went down there-

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Small class. There were a couple teachers in there. There was, that was not one guy doing that heavy lifting.

• 15:28H. Foley?

  Fifteen kids, thirty teachers.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Took us to color at Sesame Place?

• 15:33H. Foley?

  No, but we went down there and we were reading about them, we were doing all kinds of, uh, literary stuff at the time. It was English Lit. I think I was smoking doobies, I was expanding my mind, as you say, my horizons.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  As I say?

• 15:45H. Foley?

  As you said.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  What do I say?

• 15:46H. Foley?

  You said, "Expanding your horizons." I was expanding my horizons back then. Dropping acid and tuning in.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Somebody's gotta fucking reset you, dude.

• 15:59H. Foley?

  Take me back to the factory. Anyway, we went down there, we had a lovely day, it was a nice spring day, I think we like, smoked a joint or something like that. Went and walked around, saw all the shit, got back. It was great.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  My, we, the, the best one for us was always, uh- The Amish country. They take us out to Lancaster. About two hour drive.

• 16:19H. Foley?

  Pound of mashed potatoes at the buffet?

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Well, no. We'd just stop by like, side of the road stands. And we would, I mean, these poor Amish.

• 16:27H. Foley?

  Kevin's eating a whole apple pie. Fat fuck.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  I'm out there smoking. Guys got tobacco? Uh, I mean, these poor, you know, these poor, bad haircut having motherf- the last thing they wanted to see is a group of fucking-

• 16:43H. Foley?

  Those guys would fuck you up though. They're all field hands. They'd fucking tune you up.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  I know, but they ain't allowed to fight. That's against their religion.

• 16:49H. Foley?

  Is it?

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Also, I would just hold my Discman up and scare the shit out of them.

• 16:54H. Foley?

  Exco give it to ya.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Buddy, let me tell ya, it's dark and hell is hot.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  So we, that, go, those were always, I mean, we were mean, bad kids, but we would just be fucking, not to their face, but we'd be having fun at their ex-

• 17:12H. Foley?

  Giggling a little bit, yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Having fun at their expense. And I remember that, they didn't, I mean, we'd roll in fifty, sixty deep. You know what I mean? Like a biker gang in the eighties going, take, take a bar over.

• 17:23H. Foley?

  Knocking over tomato stands?

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, just fucking, I want ten percent. You know what I mean?

• 17:28H. Foley?

  I'm your new partner.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  These fat kids got a reputation of coming in and bust, busting up a buffet.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Not today. They picked the wrong buffet.

• 17:40H. Foley?

  Ah, that's alright. Can't much talk about ExpressVPN, baby.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Ooh, you ain't lying, dog.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this, going online without ExpressVPN is like not closing the door when you use the bathroom. Next thing you know, you got everybody in the bar looking at your little stinger.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Gives random creeps a chance to fucking take a looky-loo.

• 17:59H. Foley?

  So gang, do yourself a favor when you're surfing the web.

• 18:05H. Foley?

  Keep the prying eyes of the feds and whoever the hell else might be looking at you.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Sure, guys.

• 18:11H. Foley?

  Off your search history.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  Express, that's about the extent of the big man's cyber knowledge.

• 18:17H. Foley?

  I know what's going on.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Express VPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers. So your ISP can't be seen, can't see your browsing history.

• 18:29H. Foley?

  Girl on girl.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  It hides your IPS address, which I've learned as we travel this great country of ours. Certain states have certain rules and you, my ExpressVPN kicked in pretty toot sweet if you catch my drift.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  It's rated number one. It works on all devices. It's easy to use.

• 18:44H. Foley?

  Your Mormon laws have nothing to do with my libido.

• 18:49H. Foley?

  I need to crank this out.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  This is on veto. Protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com/garbage. That's expressvpn, E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash garbage. To find out how you can get up to four extra months for free. Expressvpn.com/garbage.

• 19:10H. Foley?

  Ken, let's talk about Bilt Rewards, baby.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Oh, shout out to them.

• 19:14H. Foley?

  Attention, all you renters out there. I am one of them. I am not just a spokesman. I'm also a client. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earn your favorite airline miles and points through Bilt just by paying your rent on time. Let me explain.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Explain it, big guy.

• 19:31H. Foley?

  I'm gonna, dickhead. Gimme a second. What are you, the cops? Anyway, I apologize, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Homeowner over here. If you're renting, that's your biggest expense of the month. You could go out to dinner, throw a couple hundred, get some points, get a little bit of miles. Why aren't you using your biggest expense to earn points and miles? What are you doing? With Bilt, you get to do that.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  I'm with it, daddy-o.

• 19:57H. Foley?

  We're talking, we're talking points. We're talking miles, baby.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  I know. There's no cost to joining just by paying your rent. You unlock flexible points that can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, or your next Lyft ride.

• 20:09H. Foley?

  Future rent payment.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  And more. When you pay your bill, when you pay your rent through Bilt, you unlock two powerful benefits. First, Benefits. First, you earn one of the industry's most valuable points on rent every month. No matter where you live, who your landlord is, your rent now works for you. Second, you gain access to exclusive neighborhood benefits in your city. Built's neighborhood benefits are things like extra points on dining out, complimentary posed workout shakes, free mats or towels at your favorite fitness studios, and unique experiences that only Bilt members can access. And you'll be ready to travel. Bilt rewards can be converted to your favorite miles and hotel points around the world, meaning your rent can literally take you places.

• 20:48H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  So you're not just earning points on rent. My question is, what are you waiting for? Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of neighborhood benefits by going to joinbilt.com/carbage. That's joinbuilt, J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com/carbage.

• 21:02H. Foley?

  Make sure to use the URL. As you know, they sent us, god damn it.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  joinbilt.com/carbage to sign up.

• 21:10H. Foley?

  What's a fitness studio?

• 21:12Speaker 01

  But that was good. We always hit a Wawa in the morning for the snacks.

• 21:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, the lunch was always... You got a better lunch that day, usually.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Well, you could always bring.

• 21:20H. Foley?

  Even if you bagged your lunch.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, you could always bring, or like, they always... A lot of... I think they had to provide some sort of... That's like what the money went to. Like, oh, we'll do pizzas, or you know, you get a cheeseburger at the whatever.

• 21:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  That was always our... There was always snack guys.

• 21:35H. Foley?

  But if your parents made your lunch, that was always a better lunch than regular days. That's the day that you got the hoagie.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 21:42H. Foley?

  You got to get a hoagie, get a turkey shorty over at the Wawa. Lettuce, tomato, oregano, mayo, bush cheese, turkey.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Little kid ordering...

• 21:53H. Foley?

  Bag of munchos.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Little kid ordering oregano just seems weird to me, dude.

• 21:56H. Foley?

  Really?

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. A little... You run that through the garden for me? Little more balsamic.

• 22:04H. Foley?

  You didn't do oil and vinegar when you were a kid?

• 22:05Speaker 01

  I don't know. I didn't do that till my mid-30s, dude.

• 22:08H. Foley?

  I did it all. Oil and vinegar, hot sweet peppers.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  Nah, dude, fucking... No.

• 22:18H. Foley?

  What a black and mild kicker at the end.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  I get three stuffed peppers and you're, "What the fuck?"

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Uh, no. Not doing long hots in second grade.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Little Musaka?

• 22:30Speaker 01

  No wonder why your GI tract is all torn up. Been eating shards of glass.

• 22:36H. Foley?

  Little Barrett's esophagus never hurt anybody?

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Um, but alright, let's see. So the homies all sent in their stories and/or questions regarding field trips/ school trips.

• 22:49H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  And as you guys know, when you join the Patreon over there, we will read your question.

• 22:53H. Foley?

  Get to do fun stuff like this?

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, fun stuff with the boys. Um, this one's from Foley's Chest X-Ray.

• 23:00H. Foley?

  Came back good.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  Five years ago. $10 shareholder, went to Beta Club Nationals. See what Beta Club is? Went to Beta Club Nationals in 6th grade, ended up staying in a casino hotel. Cheapest rooms available, and watched a teacher lose his mind after losing six grand playing blackjack. He just kept saying, "Don't ever gamble, kids."

• 23:25H. Foley?

  That's gotta be...

• 23:26Speaker 01

  That's... I was just like, that's not happening now. There's too many guardrails and checks and balances up. That was just the guy...

• 23:34H. Foley?

  Talking about the School of Rock.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. That's... You know that teacher was looking forward to that. He's like, "I'll do it, I'll sign up."

• 23:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  "I'll take the kids to the Lucky Horseshoe Casino or whatever."

• 23:45H. Foley?

  The Beta Club's gotta be some type of debate club or science club or something like that.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  It's like a leadership summit kind of for young kids, I think.

• 23:52H. Foley?

  Okay, there you go.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  I remember, that's... I remember we had, and this might have been junior high, "Future Business Leaders of America." I was like, "Who the fuck has the balls?"

• 24:04H. Foley?

  Now look at you.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  I know. And the one kid that was in, he died of heroin in a motel. So, joke's on you. Oh, I kid, we made fun of him a lot. I do apologize.

• 24:14H. Foley?

  Was this in high school he died in a hotel room?

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Maybe right after high school.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:19H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  He was a CEO though, so he had that going for him. Alright, that was...

• 24:23H. Foley?

  Terrible.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  He looked like Elton John and we used to call him Benny and the Jets.

• 24:27H. Foley?

  That's fucking brutal.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, that's like...

• 24:30H. Foley?

  That's a lot of money.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  That's a lot of cash, dude. That's like...

• 24:33H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  That's tough.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Alright, let's see here. This one's from Foley's Hair, Kippy's Forehead. $14.50 Canadian homie on the board, never had one red. "In 4th grade, my class went splunking in a tourist trap cave." That seems wild.

• 24:54H. Foley?

  In what grade?

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Fourth.

• 24:56H. Foley?

  Get the fuck spelunking?

• 24:57Speaker 01

  But this says Taurus trap. This is more like, you know how we used to climb through the heart at the...

• 25:03H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  That's what the... This can't be. They're not like...

• 25:05H. Foley?

  That's got stalactite stalagmite written all over it.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. Which you know what it is?

• 25:09H. Foley?

  Stalactite.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  I don't. Don't roll your eyes at me.

• 25:12H. Foley?

  You don't know what it is?

• 25:13Speaker 01

  I'm not off the top of my head.

• 25:14H. Foley?

  Stalactite has to hold tight to the ceiling and stalagmite might reach the ceiling.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:20H. Foley?

  Stalagmites on the floor, stalactites on the roof.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  You might be a jerk off, rolling your eyes at me.

• 25:24H. Foley?

  Dumbass.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Um...

• 25:26H. Foley?

  You're a smart guy. You don't know much.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  I'm a future business leader of America.

• 25:30H. Foley?

  Do you know who drug whom around what?

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Who?

• 25:33H. Foley?

  You never heard that before?

• 25:35Speaker 01

  No.

• 25:35H. Foley?

  The Harvard thing. Who drug whom around what?

• 25:39H. Foley?

  Achilles drug Hector around the city of Troy. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, dickhead.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  More of a needle man.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 25:49H. Foley?

  I don't get it that pure.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  In 4th grade, my class went spelunking in a Taurus trap cave. After we were having lunch waiting for the buses, I started throwing baseball-sized rocks off the suspension bridge into the river below. This got the class hyped and everyone joined...

• 26:08Speaker 01

  Dude, it just takes a couple of kids in a new place...

• 26:11H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Just to go, "What can we fuck up?"

• 26:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  "Who's not watching me?"

• 26:17Speaker 01

  And everyone joined in the rock tossing. Teachers quickly shut this down, so I went down to the river below. Next, I woke up in a pile of blood with half my front tooth missing. Apparently, one kid wasn't done throwing rocks down from above. The look on my classmates' faces as I climbed back up this steep bank covered in blood, snot, and tears. And the panic of my teacher as he ran for a makeshift first aid kit. Was about an hour car ride to the hospital, three trips to the dentist, resulting in a root canal and a fake front tooth. It's always been a couple of shades darker since. P.S. I got 85, 8,500 bucks for it when I turned 18. Money was gone within three months, spent on everything but a tooth. I mean...

• 27:02H. Foley?

  Who wrote that? Stephen King?

• 27:03Speaker 01

  That's pretty fucking good. Beautiful. Yeah. That's, uh, that's what we're looking for. That is, that kid was forever affected by a simple school field trip.

• 27:14H. Foley?

  The tooth is shade darker. Seen plenty of them in my day.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Uh huh, a couple of family members with that.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  That's, um, man, that is so, what? Shitbag.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  That's a field trip right there.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Fourth grade, you're ten, you're nine to eleven.

• 27:32H. Foley?

  It's alright.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  You're just hucking rocks off a bridge. Nothing's better.

• 27:36H. Foley?

  Yeah, till you catch one in the chin.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, that guy went into the landing zone.

• 27:40H. Foley?

  Just think of how panicked those-

• 27:41Speaker 01

  That's bad, you never do that.

• 27:42H. Foley?

  Think of how panicked those teachers must have been. What do you do? The lawsuit, the this, the that, the oh my god. I would have fucking killed him and threw him off the bridge.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  My sister's-

• 27:50H. Foley?

  Say we didn't see him.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  My sister's a teacher and she would do like the ski, she'd take them skiing, she took them to different countries, the language clubs, the all, and I'm going, "You're fucking crazy."

• 28:01H. Foley?

  Skiing?

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Every, she'd take them to like, Spain and I- India, not India, but, I don't know. Indian casino reservation. Lost six grand. Yeah, but I'm like, I wouldn't take any kids anywhere.

• 28:18H. Foley?

  No, I don't want to be involved in that. Mm-mm.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  There was always like-

• 28:22H. Foley?

  Too much, there's too much that could go wrong for you as a teacher. You know what I mean?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, your fuck kid gets in the head with a rock.

• 28:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, there's no, that's the least of your problems. Somebody gets pregnant or something like that, who the fuck knows what happens?

• 28:36H. Foley?

  Two kids boning somewhere?

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I think, that was gonna hap- I mean, if two kids are gonna bone on a fucking spelunking field trip, they're gonna have at it wherever they are. There ain't nothing you can do to stop-

• 28:47H. Foley?

  Did you ever hook up in school?

• 28:49Speaker 01

  In school?

• 28:50H. Foley?

  Yeah, like on school grounds?

• 28:52Speaker 01

  No, at that point, everything was so, this wasn't like-

• 28:56H. Foley?

  Did you have cameras?

• 28:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:58H. Foley?

  You did?

• 28:58Speaker 01

  In high school, yeah.

• 28:59H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you gotta think at this point, oh dude, we went to a new high school, that was like-

• 29:03H. Foley?

  Oh, that's right, it was a new facility.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  That was, I mean, that was like, there was cops, there was like, we, we grew up watching the eighties, like the fucking Zack Morris's who were like floating around, doing whatever. Ours, yeah, we were in like a jail, essentially.

• 29:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, you were. Clear backpacks and fucking-

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Things that started happening already that were like-

• 29:22H. Foley?

  Right.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  You know.

• 29:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Doors locked.

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Just post Columbine.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was fucking six when Columbine happened.

• 29:28H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Ten, what year?

• 29:29H. Foley?

  I don't know, it was ninety-nine, I believe. I was in my twenties.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Still in third grade.

• 29:37H. Foley?

  So we went to the Edgar Allan Poe house.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Ah, alright, speaking of New York, alright, this is from Wyatt Peter the Heater Fiender.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  $10 debt collector, never had one read. Our school went to New York City on a band trip and walked down a road that our bandleader said, quote unquote, reeked of shrimp and cum. The fucked up part was that it wasn't a teacher saying it, but he was spot on with the description. There's gotta be more overs, you can't be saying that in front of kids.

• 30:07H. Foley?

  Can I say, can I say this, and this isn't just because of, uh, American Pie, but when you look back on the band kids, they actually, freaky deaky. It probably wasn't that bad of a time.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  Theater kids for us.

• 30:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah. If I could go back and do it all again, I would have done that shit. Got in the band, got in the theater, all that kinda stuff, you know?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Wait off the bread.

• 30:32H. Foley?

  Sure. My school needed me at the time though, you know what I mean?

• 30:37Speaker 01

  What?

• 30:38H. Foley?

  They needed me out there on that line. What if I could, like when-

• 30:41Speaker 01

  They needed you.

• 30:42H. Foley?

  Like when Captain America didn't come back in the end of, uh-

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Just to get straight, you're equating yourself to Captain America? Just so, I, I, I was zoned out for a second, just to make sure that's-

• 30:51H. Foley?

  It would have been nice, you know what I mean? Do the plays, the chicks, all that stuff. Band was probably fun. I'd be a little smelly though.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Ay caramba.

• 31:02H. Foley?

  Lot of Clearasil, back then. Lot of greasy kids.

• 31:08H. Foley?

  But, you know, I wouldn't be able to sit there and watch the football games though in the stands with the, playing the trumpet or something like that.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I'd have to be on the field. I'd have to be down there, just doing it, saving the day.

• 31:24H. Foley?

  I didn't say any of that.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  You said it like you were a cop who was sitting by watching a crime happen. I couldn't just sit there.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  I'm just saying in another life, that would have been fun.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  I couldn't sit there with my mouth closed. I had to stand up. Who are you, Mark Wahlberg?

• 31:37H. Foley?

  Maybe I, maybe I would have been better in school, you know what I mean?

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Nope. That wouldn't have happened.

• 31:41H. Foley?

  You don't think?

• 31:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  If I, if I wasn't, you know-

• 31:44Speaker 01

  I don't think-

• 31:45H. Foley?

  Out there on the line, doing it.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  No more school themes.

• 31:53H. Foley?

  Why?

• 31:53Speaker 01

  Cause you just talk about football.

• 31:55H. Foley?

  No, I don't.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  It was 48 years ago.

• 31:56H. Foley?

  I was talking about wrestling.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry. The other sport you were mediocre at.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Did you go to state? Did you win states?

• 32:07H. Foley?

  No, I went to states, though.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. To work the... Snacks. I don't know.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  You're a state.

• 32:22H. Foley?

  I got two congressmen.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  Sunny bottom.

• 32:29H. Foley?

  You done being rude?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  What is it? No, you also, I mean, I was also like, "Oh, I could've been in the band and I could've just stopped there." But then you had to go back to, "But sitting in them stands come Friday night, the lights on." No way.

• 32:41H. Foley?

  But in the winter and shit, it would've been fun.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  You watch the team lose through halftime, then you're like, "I can't do it no more." You take your tube off because you were playing the tuba and you know it.

• 32:51H. Foley?

  Nah, I would've done the drum.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  And they'd be like, "Henry, Henry, no, we need you, we need you for the halftime show."

• 32:57H. Foley?

  I could've done both!

• 32:58Speaker 01

  I can't let my team down.

• 33:00H. Foley?

  I could've done both.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  You run in, the coach goes, "What took you so long?" Like you're fucking Shane Falco or something.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  Hold my reed.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Shane Fatso.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Um, okay.

• 33:13H. Foley?

  I'm a buffoon.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Oh, me too. Um, this is a question I have for you, because I don't think...

• 33:18H. Foley?

  My door's always open.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  I never liked church and state mingling.

• 33:23H. Foley?

  What does that mean?

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Was Patty or your dad ever a chaperone?

• 33:27H. Foley?

  No.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  I do.

• 33:28H. Foley?

  No. No.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  I, my, they would, and like, my mom was...

• 33:33H. Foley?

  Actually, I think I'm wrong. Maybe Patty was once.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  I feel like she always did maybe once.

• 33:38H. Foley?

  There was always...

• 33:39Speaker 01

  My dad never.

• 33:40H. Foley?

  The way that stuff was, is there were parents that were good with that. That was always the same ones. Like, I don't know, just an example, like, Mrs. Jackson. She was like, good with all the kids, all the kids knew her. That kid could operate well in front of his mom and everybody else. He could kinda be himself.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  It was normalized for people. It would've not been...

• 34:01H. Foley?

  No.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  Me and my mom, or my dad, definitely not my dad.

• 34:04H. Foley?

  I wouldn't have been able to be myself.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  We would've been, we would've been like, acting in a play. We would've been two different people.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 34:11H. Foley?

  Hello, mother.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Yes. "Oh, mother, can I go?" You know, meanwhile, I'm like, going through her purse looking for heaters.

• 34:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, I wouldn't want her to see what, you know, I was really like.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  That's telling.

• 34:20H. Foley?

  Bad kid, bad seed.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:23H. Foley?

  She was working anyway.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:25H. Foley?

  I gotta work!

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Same. We were, my mom was never like the class mom or the whatever. When we had to bring the orange slices in the juice box, I was like, hey, drop them off and fucking, you know, hit the high road.

• 34:37H. Foley?

  My dad came to the high school once. I mean, they were always at, you know, my, my mom did a lot for like, you know, the football, like my senior, junior and senior year. Like, you know, she was like, she had like the, the night before the games.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  She'd blow the coach to get you, to get you, to get you playing time.

• 34:53H. Foley?

  You know, he was supposed to play the tuba.

• 34:57H. Foley?

  I played the skin flute. That's my goddamn mother, you son of a bitch.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  For the audio listener, he said that.

• 35:03H. Foley?

  Patty, you hear this shit? She come up here and kick your fucking ass. She about to get that knee brace off.

• 35:08Speaker 01

  Oh god, watch out. The one that she picked up at CVA, that thing ain't by a doctor.

• 35:13H. Foley?

  Um, she would do all that kind of stuff and she was very involved in like the car washes and all that stuff, but that's.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Bikinis?

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Working at the car wash.

• 35:25H. Foley?

  You little fuckers wanna make some money?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  She's got a heater going.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  Rubbing her tits on somebody's windshield.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Hurry up.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  I'm running out of suds.

• 35:40H. Foley?

  I take Venmo, Cash App and Zelle.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  This is recent. This is a couple of weeks ago.

• 35:49H. Foley?

  Ah, man.

• 35:54H. Foley?

  If you were on vacation now with your mom.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  No. Nope.

• 35:59H. Foley?

  If you were on vacation with her now, like say, uh, wherever you guys are, you guys are going down.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Well, how did you guys pick? I pictured that the shot was from inside the car.

• 36:10H. Foley?

  Oh yeah.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  Sudsing up with her titties.

• 36:15H. Foley?

  But if you went on vacation with your mom that or like a, to like a beach or something like that, and she walked out in a two-piece, would you say something?

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:23H. Foley?

  Arrrrrr.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  I'd tell her get her fucking floozy ass back upstairs.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I'd make her be a Muslim or something. Swimming in a burka, no way. Go get a hoodie, you hussy.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  What about you, Luke? Would you be okay with that? Huh, huh. Your mom rolled down in a two-piece? Freak out.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Ah, man.

• 36:45H. Foley?

  Start crying.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Woo! Woo!

• 36:50H. Foley?

  Gracias.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  Ah, the only time they ever really entered the school was my dad, for some reason, it was like Career Day or something like that. I can't remember what the circumstances were, but it was him and Lieutenant Commander Dave Payne. They rolled into their dress whites.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 37:09H. Foley?

  Looked like fucking Maverick and Iceman rolling through the hallways.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  They're doing that slow walk through the hall.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  Dang, dang, dang.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  They turned the corner real sharp.

• 37:22H. Foley?

  Please say it, huh?

• 37:24Speaker 01

  My fat ass kid!

• 37:26H. Foley?

  Flipping an M16. They got guns on them. You guys are recruiters, what are you doing? Yeah, they were telling, he was telling a couple tales about Nam. Straightened a couple of kids out.

• 37:41H. Foley?

  Some guy's dad's in there as an accountant. LT Payne's talking about fucking hanging in the jungle.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  I don't know what it would take for my dad to be a chaperone. Like, I genuinely, we- We'd have to be going to like a steamfitter convention or something that he was already working at. He would meet us there. It'd be late. There's no like...

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Nothing. No, I, I, my mom, maybe at a young age-

• 38:08H. Foley?

  Did he ever do anything? Did he like coach baseball or Little League or anything?

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Coach baseball, yeah, then there was, he had to stop, there was these two, I told you, there was these two big ass twins that were bad as fuck. And my dad was like, "I'll beat them up and you", like told the dad, like, "These kids are fucking, these kids were bad kids." They were huge.

• 38:23H. Foley?

  But this was post-divorce.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:25H. Foley?

  So he was still involved in shit like that.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Oh, he always will, yeah. All like recreational stuff he was involved in, but like-

• 38:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, shit with the school.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  He's like going to, going to school. No way.

• 38:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Was not his cup of tea.

• 38:38H. Foley?

  The show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  You ain't lying.

• 38:40H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, Uncle Hank and Aunt Kippy are very big proponents of talk therapy. Do yourself a favor if you're struggling with something, something big, something from your childhood, that's not really just sitting right with you and you don't really feel like yourself, do yourself a favor, get over to BetterHelp because they can help. Also, too, if it's just something small, if you just need to start bouncing stuff off of people, just to get a little bit of, you know what I mean, just to talk things out, BetterHelp can also help with that. It doesn't have to be some tragic thing. Your whole life doesn't happen to be falling apart.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:11H. Foley?

  Nobody in this room.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  And listen, mental health awareness is growing. Back in my day, when I started, I couldn't even tell my, tell my dad, he'd call me a lady.

• 39:19H. Foley?

  It gave you a bottle of Southern Comfort.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  That's not the case anymore. Uh, there's still progress to be made, obviously. Twenty percent, twenty-six percent of Americans who participate in a recent survey, said they have avoided seeking mental health due to fear of judgment, which is wrong, baby. Get out there and, and scream it from the rooftops, you know what I mean?

• 39:36H. Foley?

  And it's expensive. With BetterHelp, you, you're getting, you're getting it on the cheap.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  Uh huh. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over five million people worldwide. Easily switch therapists at any time, no extra cost. Uh, we're all better with help and BetterHelp helps. Visit betterhelp.com/garbage to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 39:57H. Foley?

  We love you.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change, your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than real pricing.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Uh, but this, that, this is from Pooh Radley. Uh...

• 40:16H. Foley?

  That's a deep cut.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  My, it is. My dad shot-

• 40:19H. Foley?

  You know what that's from? Excuse me?

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Boo Radley.

• 40:21H. Foley?

  What's that from?

• 40:21Speaker 01

  Um, To Kill a Mockingbird?

• 40:23H. Foley?

  Oh, look at you. Written by?

• 40:27Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 40:29H. Foley?

  Good friends with Truman Capote.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Bu, bu, bu, bu, bu.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  Harper Lee.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, Harper Lee.

• 40:33H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 40:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um...

• 40:36Speaker 01

  My dad chaperoned my 3rd grade field trip up to DC from Fredericksburg. To preface, he was born and raised in Alexandria, Virginia. Our driver got off the interstate near DC and immediately started panicking in front of all the 10-year-olds. He got lost and he was pissed off. My dad gets up, walks to the front of the bus, stands next to the bus driver, and proceeds to navigate the driver through the city to our destination. Not only was he giving him navigational directions, I was hearing things like "feather it a little bit", "and start braking now",

• 41:10Speaker 01

  "he got one coming up on your right",

• 41:14Speaker 01

  "he got us to the Air and Space Museum on schedule", "dude, shout out to a dad",

• 41:19H. Foley?

  Coming in calm, cool, and collected.

• 41:21Speaker 01

  I'm your wingman, big dog. Take a deep breath. Feather it a little bit. I don't even know what that means.

• 41:28H. Foley?

  Pump the brakes. Made it seem like they were skidding in. There you go.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Talk about whipping work. That is a... That's what a dad does on... We never had those more blue collar, rougher dad. We always had the dad who was like

• 41:46Speaker 01

  sweater vest kinda dad. Buttoned up shirt kinda. We didn't have-

• 41:51H. Foley?

  Getting a real one.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, t-shirt, jeans, and Tim dad wasn't taking off of work at the job site to... You know.

• 42:00H. Foley?

  A day's pay.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  That's stuff for bronze. That's what the bronze did.

• 42:05H. Foley?

  What the fuck's a clementine?

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Like a little orange.

• 42:13H. Foley?

  Ah, Jesus Christ.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  This one's from Skid Mark. That's great. 8th grade trip to Gettysburg. There you go.

• 42:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  The hotel had fr- Well, this is another thing. A lot of, which we've never done, there was a lot of overnight school field trips, which seems like a pedophile's dream.

• 42:35H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Well, I just like, I guess at the time that we grew up, that was like, "You're not staying over with strange", like, that seems insane to me. You're gonna stay at some weird, seedy hotel with weird people I don't know?

• 42:50H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  No way was anybody, no one I know's parents signing off on it.

• 42:53H. Foley?

  No. But that does, you keep going with this one, because I got something to add to this.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  8th grade trip to Gettysburg, the hotel had free HBO. Word got around and every boy was watching Katie Morgan review sex toys. Who's Katie Morgan? Someone ratted and the teachers came around to ruin the fun, went to Hershey Park the next day and got caught pickpocketing Kit Kats. How you doing? Uh, that's, I mean, in a hotel room with school people is, seems insane to me. A hotel room with a teacher? That's your-

• 43:29H. Foley?

  I'm sure he had his own room.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  You had your own room? I've heard, there's stories here where they say there would be like three or four people to a room.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  We bunked up, yeah. Me and, me and three buddies were in a room together. Teachers had their own room.

• 43:41H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Oh, listen, I get that. I'm just saying, that's, we, you know.

• 43:46H. Foley?

  We had the sixth grade camping-

• 43:46Speaker 01

  You shouldn't be sleeping next to a teacher's room, ever. That's my rule.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  We had the sixth grade camping trip.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  One kid, I think two kids had to bunk with a teacher.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  See?

• 43:55H. Foley?

  Whoa, that's fucking weird. Fuck, there's no way that's flying now.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  No, no chance. I mean, I don't know.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  That wasn't that long ago. He's a young kid.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, 15 years ago.

• 44:05H. Foley?

  That's crazy. 15 years? I was 30. That's going on when I, that's fucked up.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  You were 33.

• 44:12H. Foley?

  Man, that's crazy.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  I'd, I'm just-

• 44:15H. Foley?

  If I was the teacher, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  I'd sleep in a car. No way.

• 44:20H. Foley?

  Fuck you. I'm not fucking bunking up with this kid.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. Weird. It's just weird.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  Weird. But we, I, I remember, I don't know where it was. I want to say it was Philadelphia, cause I don't feel like we-

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Philadelphia?

• 44:34H. Foley?

  I don't feel like we would've drove down to like DC or Virginia or something like that in a day. But I remember we went to like, um, like, uh, it was like colonial times. And they had like the little huts where like the blacksmith was working.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  Could've been a Renaissance fair, maybe?

• 44:55H. Foley?

  No, and like we tour, I remember touring a dining room that, that was like set from like colonial times. Cause I remember it had that salt lick in it, on the plate. They had, they used to have a mound of salt.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  You would lick it?

• 45:09H. Foley?

  No, I'm just saying salt lick. It was like a, it was like a cone of salt and they would scrape salt off and sprinkle it.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  That could have, I mean Philly has the like old city stuff with like the Ben Franklin.

• 45:21H. Foley?

  Maybe it was down there. I feel like I was in a field though and they had all that stuff. That's where I found out how they, uh, how they, you know, soft pretzels came first. It was soft pretzels first, then hard pretzels. They just left them in the oven too long and discovered that you can have them hard. Isn't that crazy? Wouldn't you think hard pretzels came first? It was soft pretzels. Or soft pretzels and hard pretzels.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  In the United States?

• 45:44H. Foley?

  Anywhere.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  I think, I may, uh.

• 45:45H. Foley?

  I guess it would have came over from Germany. They would have been soft.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 45:49H. Foley?

  See what was invented first, hard pretzels or soft pretzels? And where hard pretzels was invented. And let's get some hard pretzels.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  This is a real chicken or the egg type thing.

• 45:58H. Foley?

  Where was the soft pretzel invented?

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Uh, gotta be like Germanic tribes or something.

• 46:05H. Foley?

  You think back then?

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Cooking. Buddy, if I, do you leave me, they, those guys had nothing to do. I'd come up with, I'd come up with a soft pretzie pretty sweet.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  Germans.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  Germans.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Yup. Uh, but hard pretzel was, or soft pretzel was first.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  It was, huh? See?

• 46:20Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 46:21H. Foley?

  They had soft pretzels, all this shit that they didn't have, but yet they had soft pretzels back then.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  But they couldn't mix it with a screaming cold Coke. And let me tell you, I'd rather be in hell. Sitting there with a dry ass mouth in the 1500s.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  Isn't that crazy to think that they had soft pretzels back then? That doesn't seem right.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  It's probably.

• 46:41H. Foley?

  And how bad could it have been?

• 46:43Speaker 01

  It was probably more of like a bread. I doubt it's the same exact style, you know what I mean?

• 46:50H. Foley?

  Not twisted up.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  Saying an Italian monk made them as a special treat for his students.

• 46:55H. Foley?

  That's funny. The monks come up with a lot of shit.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  On a field trip, they said. And HBO was out.

• 47:03H. Foley?

  Monks come up with a lot of shit through history.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  They're enlightened. And they got, these motherfuckers don't have jobs. They're just hanging out.

• 47:10H. Foley?

  Where were they getting cash? They were like think tanks.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Church.

• 47:14H. Foley?

  Really?

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:15H. Foley?

  Catholics?

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Uh, I mean, yeah, just always. The church has always been.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Funded everything.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  Funded everything.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  That's pretty good. Italian monk come up with a soft pretzel. Is he a saint? He should be.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Saint Snyder's?

• 47:30H. Foley?

  Saint A- Ann's? Fair enough.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  Okay, uh...

• 47:34H. Foley?

  Alright, but I remember doing that one and I remember I hated it because it was so hot and boring and fucking... Those people were walking around in those colonial clothes. And I was like, "Aren't you fucking sweating?"

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were.

• 47:47H. Foley?

  You got soft pretzels back then? Nobody fucking invented a pair of shorts?

• 47:51Speaker 01

  No water ice or nothing?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Let me get a fucking cherry Rita's. Call it a fucking day, dude.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Be coolita ritas, be coolita rita. I wouldn't need shorts if you got a fucking frosty Rita's. I'd be cool as ice.

• 48:09H. Foley?

  How about a couple Luigi's?

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Couple Italian ices for me and the boys.

• 48:15H. Foley?

  Ha, you're supposed to eat the soft pretzel by itself like a fucking dickhead?

• 48:19Speaker 01

  And summertime is, is about to be right here and in the Philadelphia tri-state area, there ain't nothing better than a fucking Rita's water ice. And a pretzel braid, dude.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Hard pretzels weren't invented until 1850.

• 48:38H. Foley?

  What?

• 48:40H. Foley?

  1850?

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  But dude, think about...

• 48:44H. Foley?

  My eye just twitched.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  I remember...

• 48:46H. Foley?

  I like, I like almost stroked out.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  I remember... So I, so Rita's, Rita's is an Italian ice place. It's a soft Italian ice, not like the hard ones like the little cups or anything. It's a soft, more like a...

• 48:57H. Foley?

  Philadelphia institution.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  We call it water, water ice, um...

• 49:02H. Foley?

  Italian ice.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Italian ice, but soft and, you know, whatever. And the place Rita's is a, it's like a Wawa style chain, meaning it's, they're all over the place franchise. You would buy a pretzel, you'd buy three, you know, we'd buy like, everybody, you'd go, everybody get a water ice and we'd buy like three pretzels, me, my mom, Sarah, Danny, and you know, you'd munch on them.

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Oh, I know.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  I remember, and then they had a pretzel braid, which is like a loaf of pretzel.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  We had one at the Phil, we had one at the Birds game.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Did we?

• 49:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 49:30Speaker 01

  Thick as, thick as could be. And I remember the day I was able to put that down by myself. Unred, ungoverned, unany, I said, "Everybody get out of my way." Felt like a monk in the 1690's. Woo wee. Uh, alright, let's see. This one's from Mr. Bevalacqua. I gotta be honest with you, a homerun so far from the homies. Yeah. Talk about getting a fucking, getting the assignment. Sure. Uh, "My class once went on a field trip to San Francisco." Jesus, they're probably from there. Think everybody leaves Blue Bell on their... Goddamn, six hour flight. Ain't even got TSA PreCheck back then. That would be fun. Flying with your... Uh, yeah, flying would be fun.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Well, we had, I didn't do it, but we had that our senior year. Everybody, their senior class trip is Disney. Everybody goes, you don't, not everybody, I mean, I remember it being like fifteen hundred dollars. And you share a room and there's like a hard curfew and you can't catch heaters. And I remember they were like, "There's no smoking." I remember me and my fucking Sig Head buddies were like, "Fuck that." You had the fifteen hundred anyway. Uh, could've for sure got it from my mom. Yeah. I remember her go, because we wanted to go, we, our boy, or somebody found a trip for like eight hundred to Cancun. She gotta work three more shifts so you can get thrown out of Epcot? To go to Cancun. It was eight hundred bucks to go to Cancun. She, I go, "Listen, you're saving seven hundred. Just send me to fucking..."

• 50:59Speaker 01

  She says, she goes, "I'll, I'll do the Florida. You're not doing Cancun." She heard me call her a bitch on the phone. That's butt dial. You've come back pregnant? Talk about the ultimate. I got braids in my hair. I'm a bitch, huh? But, so I didn't do it, but that was the, all my, you know, good group of friends all did it. Sure. It was the best sober fun I ever had. Suck my diesel. Yeah. Um, but alright, this one's from Mr. Bevalacqua. "My, my class once went on a field trip to San Francisco. The school bus hit traffic on the way back. I had drank too much root beer." Oh, boy. That'll get you. "And ended up having to pee so bad, I had my girlfriend hold a jacket around me so I could pee into one of the empty root beer bottles."

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Who are you, fucking Forrest Gump? "I ended up overflowing and that bad boy and drenching all over myself and the bus. The whole class was there in high school." Ouch. That's a ta, I mean, pee in your pants. At least he had a girl. Yeah, I'd be like, it's all cum. Should have her hold the. Oh, I jizz, she was, no one knows what that, you know what I mean? Like, no one's like, not everybody knows how much cum there is in high school. She was ripping me off in the backseat. Just like, you know, crazy, I'm so wet, you're just like making stuff up. She was so wet, dude. Ew.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  It's a family show, Kevin.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  He's done talking about your mom rubbing her tits on windshield. I didn't say that. Her gizonges. Uh, alright, let's see here, this is from Jackie Treehorn. I'm a Bucks County guy myself, ayy. And my oldest kid did a second grade class field, this is recent. Yeah, that's a good one. My, and my oldest kid did a second, wait, hold on. My oldest kid did a second grade class field trip to McCaffrey's, a supermarket in Newtown. Know it. Not kidding, they walked down the aisles, met the people behind the butcher counter, and got to try on the aprons, and got a tour to stockroom. That's not bad. That's awesome. McCaffrey's is a nice organization. I know that McCaffrey's, it used to be a ginardie, shout out Pat and Flip, both worked there.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  I worked about 50 yards up at the Acme. There you go. Store number, store number 7911. You know what McCaffrey's does nice is when you walk in, they have like, a bunch of shit for like, the house. I can't describe it, like seasonal. Yeah, it'll be like, uh, I was just. Like, that's what a flower department is. And it's right next to the flower, they have the flowers on the right or the left, and then they have like, you know, kitchen towels, and like, you know, baskets and stuff for different houses. It's not bad, shout out to McCaffrey's. It's a great American institution. And what a great, that is a great wholesome field trip as a second. Cause it's like a place you've been before, like, I know this, this is. But to go and study it intricately. To put on an apron and get behind a butcher counter at eight years old? That's all, I would, I'd do that now. This is the red dye we put on the old meat.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  This is the rubbing alcohol we use to take off the expiration date.

• 53:59H. Foley?

  You kids can keep a secret, huh?

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Oh, that's pretty good. Uh, alright, this is another one. This is from Cal. In 5th grade, my whole class walked over to the local Domino's. We went behind the counter, that's a little sad, went behind the counter and made our own pizzas. That's a good time. It must have inspired a few of my classmates because at least 2 of them still work there 25 years later.

• 54:20H. Foley?

  Oh, man. Anything food related? We talked about this a little bit before. Like, we went to Chi Chi's? You guys ever go out and get lunch anywhere?

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Our, our Spanish class in 7th grade, or maybe 9th grade, 7th or 9th, it had to be 9th grade, uh, took us to, uh, it was in the shopping center we hung out at. It was, it was called Village Shires and we were considered Shires' rats. We'd go skate there, have people buy us heaters and stuff.

• 54:47H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  And a place called Marita's Cantina, which, uh, had a SIG machine in there. Uh, which we knew because we'd try to sneak in there and get the SIG machine. Uh, and she warned us. Mrs. Grossman was a great teacher. She was like, "Listen,

• 55:02Speaker 01

  I, I've been taking every class there, every semester for the past 5 years. I'm well aware of the SIG machine. No one, you know, no funny business. Play it fast, play it straight." But we had gotten, we went to Pat's house. Cause Pat lived right near the shopping center. And we got fucking stupid high.

• 55:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Like, like, ba, like, sorry.

• 55:24H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Like, like, bong, 7th or 8th, 9th grade ripping bingers high.

• 55:30H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  On the move, like, "Oh, we're gonna do this and go eat chips and, you know, burritos and stuff."

• 55:35H. Foley?

  And they're all freaked out?

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Ah, my boy, Shout Out Deli, turned green. Proper green. And he's staring at me.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  He was freaking me.

• 55:47H. Foley?

  My enchilada's talking to me, man.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  I did think that he reached, he reached for something and like his depth perception was off and he cut like he like pricked his finger on something and he pulled it back, he went like that and I went, what happened? Cause something just bit me and I'm like, dude, we gotta get the fuck out of here, dude. We are behind enemy lines.

• 56:04H. Foley?

  Woo. Our junior year, they took us to an Indian joint called Palace of Asia. Buddy, nobody ate a fucking thing.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  You guys are ordering Domino's?

• 56:14H. Foley?

  Dude. Ah, it must've been chicken tikka masala. Looking back on it now.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  For sure. That's what, they're not throwing anything higher than that at you at the, the world of Asia.

• 56:24H. Foley?

  I swear to God, this thing had eyeballs on it. Looking like, what the fuck? The smells in there? It just, I just wasn't ready for it.

• 56:31Speaker 01

  No, of course, of course.

• 56:32H. Foley?

  It was, that restaurant thrived for years in our area. I think it was over in Fort Washington. But it was like a, became like an institution for Indian cuisine. Now it's saffron over an Amblor. Delicious.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 56:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  Um, that's, uh, that's pretty good. Um, all right. This one is, uh, this is Tootie's side piece. Third time, long time, never had one red. Shout out to you. In high school, all the Italian classes would go to Little Italy in New York City from Long Island.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  And we would eat lunch, then be given free range until the buses picked us up at 4:30 uptown at the Empire State Building. Kids would be getting piercings, buying bongs, getting fake IDs down in the village. This was all post nine 11 and I have no idea why they let us do this. It was crazy. We would smoke weed on the Bronx Zoo monorail. That's New York City kid shit. That's like, that's nuts.

• 57:35H. Foley?

  Did you ever go down to the Italian market in Philly for a trip?

• 57:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 57:39H. Foley?

  It was too dangerous.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, it was, the only thing in Philly we ever really did for a school field trip would be.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  Franklin.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Franklin Institute.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  I think that's it. Then it was like Amish country. We did a Renaissance fair. We did medieval times.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  We did the Bucks County Jail House. They locked us all up for, you know, a minute and you know, you're in there with like, there's real guys being processed. You're in there already snitching. I didn't do it, man. It was foolish. You got the Kool-Aid on your lips? Your pockets are turned out? I want to say, we did it in college too. It was actually the first time I was ever in New York. I was, I was in college for my art history class and we went to, I'd never been to New York. And I was on... Art history, you went to a jail? No. Oh. We went to a museum. And it was either MoMA or the, I don't even... Probably the Met. Probably the Met. Yeah. I forget. Where's the Met? Upper East or Upper? Upper East. Eightieth. It had to be that then. Sure.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  That's where you would go. You wouldn't go to the MoMA. Start in the beginning at the Met, like a gentleman. Sure. Uh, I mean, you had to write like, we had to pick six pieces. I ran in the first six pieces. I was like, this inspires me to whatever. Then I found myself like, a fucking middle of the road pizza spot, a couple blocks away. I remember putting down... You're painting a still life?

• 59:09Speaker 01

  I remember putting down a couple, I remember, to my mind, it was so Philly-centric. What a fat little bastard. I'm like, they want 15 bucks for two slices of pizza? Smokes for 12 hours! He fucking, and I sat on the front steps of the Met, just cranking heaters for four, five more hours. And the bus will be, you know, we left at like fucking 6 o'clock. We got here at 10. Fucking ladies, man. They were like, oh, we're doing like a little group lunch up on the roof. I'm like, that's the last thing I want to hang out with these art nerds. I'll be down... I already had half a pie. I'll be downstairs in my sweatpants, smoking heaters. And my cargo, my cargo pants, sweatpants. If you see any hot chicks, talk me up, alright?

• 59:54Speaker 01

  I remember, it had to be the Upper East Side. It was a rich neighborhood. I remember there was signs that said, "No honking." And I'm like, these rich motherfuckers don't even let you hunk? What the fuck? These dudes, this money is long up here, dog. I am, I am a long way from Bucks County.

• 1:00:11H. Foley?

  Like an old cash.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  He's controlling a fucking noise. Achi machi.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Uh, this one's from, "I'm your pitcher man." Shout out to pitcher man. "Went to the local zooquarium," in quotes, "in 3rd grade, best friend got his hand bitten by an ostrich, fucked him up good." That will fuck you up.

• 1:00:36H. Foley?

  Man, a combo zoo aquarium is tough.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  That's a tough look.

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  We had to have gone to the, is there a Philadelphia aquarium?

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Uh, Camden.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  Yes, we would have had to have gone to that one. Aquariums are nice.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  We did the zoo, we did the Philadelphia Zoo, out in West Philly.

• 1:00:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, an aquarium is nice.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  I feel like we probably did the Camden, but I don't feel like I went.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  Indoor, AC, very tranquil.

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  Dark.

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Sunny, beating down on ya.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  Like that.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Good fish sticks.

• 1:01:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Farm to the table. Fresh, never frozen.

• 1:01:10H. Foley?

  And they're eating shark meat.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Is this eel? Um, I'm trying, yeah, we never had any of the real, like, we were supposed to have the New York and DC, those were the big ones, but like I said, they got, they got fucking shit canned. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. Fucking taking my good times.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see here.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  "In 6th," this is from CN, "in 6th grade, we went to the Denver Zoo, coming from several hours away. The buses stopped at a Wendy's on the way there. The chaperone for our bus was the history teacher who told us, anyone who ate a Dave's Triple Biggie Size Combo would get extra credit to bump up their grade a full letter, a full, full 10 points. That's a 32 ounce drink, a Biggie sized french fry, and a triple Patty cheeseburger."

• 1:02:01H. Foley?

  How old were they?

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  6th grade. "About 9 of us tried it, 3 of us completed it all, but we threw up on the bus outside of Denver. The history teacher wasn't allowed to chaperone after that." This dude, the times were wild back then.

• 1:02:15H. Foley?

  That's fucking awesome, man. That's, if anybody can get a triple in them.

• 1:02:23H. Foley?

  That's great.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  That's a good time.

• 1:02:25H. Foley?

  They should've gave that guy a fucking promotion.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  I don't know about that. Oh, god, dude, that's so funny.

• 1:02:32H. Foley?

  A full grade. That's awesome.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Uh, this one's from, uh, Aroc. Uh, "Chaperoning my kid's field trip has taught me one thing. Never trust a kid with a raspy voice."

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Hey, Mr. Foley, what are you doing? No.

• 1:02:53H. Foley?

  Mr. Angelino, can I go over here?

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  He's whispering, see? Hey, I don't want nobody to notice, but...

• 1:03:00H. Foley?

  You wearing a wire?

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  A kid with a raspy voice. Never trust a kid with a raspy voice.

• 1:03:04H. Foley?

  I don't know if I've ever heard a kid with a raspy voice.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  I don't know, I don't know if I want to, though. Fucking creep me out.

• 1:03:10H. Foley?

  That's great.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck me, dude. Um... Alright, this one's from Mark. "My mom drove behind the school's bus for a school field trip because she didn't have the cash to pay for the bus. But it was great because the coolest kid in school, who was also not allowed on trips, came with us. Making us, making us the cool kids by association for years to come."

• 1:03:37H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  You're hanging out with Steve.

• 1:03:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're lumped in.

• 1:03:43H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Socially, at a young age, obviously, school is a very docile, uh, social, uh, ecosystem.

• 1:03:54H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  Your, i.e. your mom going on a field trip, not being the cool mom, yelling at a kid, that, that's, that could, that could ruin a couple of years for you. These kids are finicky, you know, the finicky's, uh, ecosystem.

• 1:04:08H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm, that's why I never get, I never had Patty around.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Of course, like, my mom can't be trusted, you know what I mean? Um... Didn't they're quoting the bible or something?

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  Leviticus 8... Shut the fuck... Who raised you? That's what my mom was saying. You got an attitude problem. Fucking threatening kids to watch their mouth out.

• 1:04:26H. Foley?

  Slap the shit out of you, little fucker.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  Take you down to... She always uses the threat of take us down to K- Kensington and Allegheny. I'll take you, you think you're tough? You think you're tough? Take you down to Kensington and Allegheny, drop you off, see how tough you are. You like to wear your pants low? Wear them low down here. Wear them low. I'll have Uncle Den come up here and kick the shit out of you. In your case, it just didn't fit, couldn't pull them up. It was my dad's.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Ah, the threats of Uncle Dan coming to kick my ass.

• 1:04:51H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  He's a great guy. You don't wanna, you don't wanna cross him.

• 1:04:55H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  He was the quiet one, and you're like, he will fuckin-

• 1:04:59H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  He'll fuckin' jab you right in the throat real quick, yeah.

• 1:05:02H. Foley?

  I'll call Uncle Mike. My dad was away. I'll call Uncle Mike. I didn't want him pulling up in his fuckin' LaBarre or whatever, whatever cutless business car he had.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:05:12H. Foley?

  With an extra starch shirt on and his tie real tight, with a Winston hanging out and his face all beet red.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:05:18H. Foley?

  Come in and beat my ass.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Calling me about from supper for this.

• 1:05:22H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  Cause the fat one got an attitude, bro.

• 1:05:25H. Foley?

  What's the problem? Nothing?

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  (laughing).

• 1:05:27H. Foley?

  She's a bitch.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  (laughing) You know how these bitches are.

• 1:05:30H. Foley?

  (laughing). I'm gonna get one of them Winstons, old man.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Boy, I tell you, rubbing your stone. Thank God you're here. This bitch is breaking my stones.

• 1:05:40H. Foley?

  (laughing). You tell me if that meatloaf is cooked?

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  (laughing).

• 1:05:45H. Foley?

  Huh? Huh? You believe this shit?

• 1:05:50H. Foley?

  Fucking skim milk?

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Ask me if my homework's done. (laughing). Is my laundry done? (laughing). Mike, you start calling him Mike, not even Uncle Mike. Mike, get a load of that. I get home, huh?

• 1:06:03H. Foley?

  This broad'll burn a salad, you know what I mean?

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  (laughing).

• 1:06:09H. Foley?

  This chick could fuck up a crouton, Uncle Mike. You know what I'm talking about here? You want a cup of decaf?

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Hey, Ma, throwing a pot. Mike just got here.

• 1:06:18H. Foley?

  Just trying to flip it real quick.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  (laughing).

• 1:06:20H. Foley?

  Thank God you're here.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was holy shit.

• 1:06:23H. Foley?

  I'm at my wit's end with this broad, alright?

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  I tell ya, if it wasn't for the kids I had 11 years ago.

• 1:06:29H. Foley?

  Is her sister as big of a pain in the ass?

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  It wasn't her sister. (laughing). It was your dad's brother?

• 1:06:37H. Foley?

  No, it was my, my mom's first cousins.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:06:41H. Foley?

  My mom was an only child. So her family, they're my aunts and uncles.

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, trashy, I get it.

• 1:06:45H. Foley?

  Oh, come on.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  (laughing).

• 1:06:48H. Foley?

  He wasn't related to me at all. It was through marriage.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  He's just some fucking guy.

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  Ah, dude, but he treated me like I was his kid. He was the fuckin' best.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:55H. Foley?

  Yeah. Shout out Uncle Mike.

• 1:06:57Speaker 01

  Ah, that's fucking hilarious, dude. It's broad.

• 1:07:01H. Foley?

  Has worked, by the way.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  Ball still coming down on you? I mean, I get it, huh?

• 1:07:08H. Foley?

  I get this.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  It reminds me of the scene in Donnie Brasco. When he meets Donnie's kid, or when he meets Al Pacino, uh, Lefty's kid.

• 1:07:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  And he's on the junk.

• 1:07:20H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  And he goes, he's like, "Yeah, why don't you..." Donnie's like, "Why don't you try fucking slap him around a bit?" He goes, "Oh, my hands are black and blue." Like, he's like, "I can't even do it, you know, I try." "I got my hands, I got bruises on my hands from slapping this kid around."

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  Uh, alright. Um... But, to go back to that, the ecosystem.

• 1:07:48Speaker 01

  To have, what a turn of a series of events to be like, you don't have the cash to go on the field trip.

• 1:07:55H. Foley?

  Worked out for you.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  But our school used to go, if you can't do it, the teacher would be like, "If you can't do it, come up to me." They would even say like privately, or like, whatever, let someone know and we'll take, like... Take it out of petty cash or something, slush money.

• 1:08:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  There was nothing ever really expensive. There was like 12 bucks for the buses or something, you know what I mean?

• 1:08:17H. Foley?

  And walking around.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  All the goddamn fucking property taxes these people are paying, you can't get a bus for today?

• 1:08:22H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  I gotta come out of pocket for a fucking cheese bus?

• 1:08:24H. Foley?

  No shit. And walking around money was, you got what you got. Maybe you got 3 bucks, maybe you got 5, maybe you got a 20, I don't, depends how things work. Yeah. That stuff always makes me sad, though, to think about that.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:08:37H. Foley?

  Kids not being able to, like, the kids that can't afford lunch or something like that. I remember that story a few years ago where they were refusing, if kids' parents hadn't paid their lunch bill.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, they were like calling them in and embarrassing them and...

• 1:08:50H. Foley?

  And, no, they were getting to the end of the line with their fucking lunch tray and they were taking the kids' lunch away.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  Your dad's a deadbeat, he owes us 14 dollars.

• 1:08:57H. Foley?

  Smash that lunch lady's face open, that's so fucked up. Let the fucking kid eat. Fucking embarrassing them like that.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  See where this emotion's coming from?

• 1:09:05H. Foley?

  I said, Patty...

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Call him a fat guy with bad teeth?

• 1:09:07H. Foley?

  No. No, it's because Patty was so nice to this one kid, Joel, who didn't have a...

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a good thing you're airing his fucking business out there, you fucking rat fuck.

• 1:09:18H. Foley?

  He couldn't afford his, um, baseball membership to Little League and Patty would always, he was at the, lived at the bottom of our neighborhood with like 50 kids. I don't know what the mom and dad were doing. But you'd go down there, they were hanging out the windows. And she would drive him to fucking, uh, Little League and she paid for his uniform and all that stuff.

• 1:09:34Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:34H. Foley?

  She's good shit that Patty.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  Amen. Good kid. Sure thing. Um, but yeah, but for that to turn to go from like, this could be embarrassing to, we're now the cool kids.

• 1:09:45H. Foley?

  Bang.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  That's alright.

• 1:09:47H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  That is all, I would just say, I'm sick, I ain't going. I'm, I would, I'd have to put my foot down out of social anxiety and embarrassment to go, Denise, shut your mouth and turn this car around. Let's stop at a Wawa and maybe an epic video. And I can go watch some fucking movies. You ain't taking, I'm not rolling up to Marita's Cantina, sitting at the table next to it or whatever.

• 1:10:11H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah. She's sitting there with a glass of wine.

• 1:10:16Speaker 01

  Too Morty?

• 1:10:17H. Foley?

  She got a carafe, a carafe! Lunch!

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  I thought we didn't have the money. You're, you're fucking drinking it all.

• 1:10:24H. Foley?

  You got white zen money, huh?

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  Ah, man. Uh, this is just Nuzzles, this is from Rory, $10 homie, never had one red. Went to a local farm when we were pretty young. As we went to leave, the bus went off the dirt path and tipped over. No one got hurt, but it scared the shit out of us. The farmer used his tractor to pull us back onto the path and we carried on with our day.

• 1:10:48H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  That would be on the front page of every news channel. That would be cra- I'd be on TikTok, that'd be everywhere if that happened now.

• 1:10:56H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  A flip in a bus? Who's driving? Otto? Simpson. And then just to roll it over and go, let's go. That's it.

• 1:11:05H. Foley?

  Man. That's fucking crazy.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:11:12H. Foley?

  Jesus. What, who was, when was that?

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  It didn't say.

• 1:11:15H. Foley?

  Fuck, hey.

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  I mean, it wasn't in the 2020s, I'll tell you that much. That didn't happen now. That would be... That guy, I mean, that people would be losing licenses.

• 1:11:24H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  Not around kids. There'd be civil suits galore.

• 1:11:27H. Foley?

  Sure. Yeah.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  That was a thing, like back, you were like a... You'd be at an institution and something would happen, you just go, "Wow, that's fucking nuts." And everybody would just kinda look at each other, and then you'd just...

• 1:11:37H. Foley?

  Keep moving.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Get picked up and go home.

• 1:11:39H. Foley?

  You ever see that video where the bus driver has a heart attack and the one, and the kids all handle it very well? Like the one, they're like...

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:45H. Foley?

  And he comes up, the one kid takes the wheel, the other one's doing CPR. Guy's filling out his timesheet for him. They fucking handle it.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  No one's, I've never been on a bus where that would've happened.

• 1:11:56H. Foley?

  Ah! People are diving out their back.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  I mean, we were, yeah, lawless. Winging shit out the windows at cars.

• 1:12:03H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:12:04Speaker 01

  Hitting cars with M&Ms and stuff.

• 1:12:05H. Foley?

  We had a guy pull us over one time.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:07H. Foley?

  Like fucking flagged on the bus, and like, got, like, on the bus. Was like, you're like giving the finger, or whatever the fuck we were doing. Fucking... Had the, had the nom vet up front. You think you're getting through him?

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  This driver's got no legs.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  Uh, let's see, I think we got time for one or two more here.

• 1:12:27H. Foley?

  Hit me!

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  Uh, this is from Mushy Man. "I pissed all over myself when I got lost in the underground part of Rockefeller Center on a band trip. Had to call the chaperone parent to come find me with my wet clothes. Told everybody waiting on the bus for me..." Oh, you get there and everybody's there, and you got wet pants.

• 1:12:46H. Foley?

  Wonder why he pissed himself?

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Probably scared, couldn't find a bathroom. These band kids, they're freaks.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  "I told everybody waiting on the bus for me that I spilled perfume all over myself. I broke the bottle of perfume I got for my mom to hold up the story."

• 1:13:02H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  That's a liar, and I like it.

• 1:13:05H. Foley?

  Way to go.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  "We were in New York to march in the Macy's Day Parade as munchkins, as the wizard, from the Wizard of Oz."

• 1:13:12H. Foley?

  Alright, it's a big performance, yeah!

• 1:13:14Speaker 01

  And dude, what a, what a brilliant, nervous kid, thinking like an adult. "I broke this perfume." Covers the pee smell.

• 1:13:22H. Foley?

  I'm big on that.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Covers the pee smell, explains the wetness, you're out clean.

• 1:13:27H. Foley?

  Take the lie as far as you can.

• 1:13:28Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:13:29H. Foley?

  Remember that, kids. Yeah, something like that. "Hey, you believe this? Broken." "My mom's getting it from my mom, I can't believe it."

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  Sucker. I shit my pants. Alright, this one's from John Michael. $10 homie. Did you ever have a kid that would get injured on every field trip? My friend Tim in 5th grade had just gotten his cast removed from his arm and then broke it again on the monkey bars at the zoo. They took us back to the entrance and we all watched him get carted off in an ambulance. He's giving the thumbs up. I'll be alright, kids.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Save my snacks. That's a tough look. I luckily never got hurt or nothing like that in like, public places like with a group of people like that.

• 1:14:15H. Foley?

  I got hydrochloric acid diluted, squirted in my eyes and had to use the fucking thing in a...

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  Eye flush?

• 1:14:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Yikes.

• 1:14:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, it was actually very soothing. Tried to go to wrestling practice that day, no dice, Mr. Landis wouldn't have it. What are you gonna do?

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  They needed the kid on the line.

• 1:14:30H. Foley?

  He was breeding champions.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Another great story about me being a star athlete.

• 1:14:35H. Foley?

  What a fun one, gang. Thank you so much for tuning in. Get the tickets to the Back on the Block Tour, pick up some cards. The whole 9 yards, we love ya and we'll see you next week.