Bring Your Own Beer! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: ZocDoc: Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 27% Off Sitewide — Exclusive for listeners of Are You Garbage. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.

• 0:24Speaker 02

  Sneak it, dawg.

• 0:25H. Foley?

  This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Still got it.

• 0:27H. Foley?

  It's that little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Sure about that?

• 0:32H. Foley?

  But they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Garbage.

• 0:35H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's and the new addition. She's upstairs doing the Millie Rock. Let's go. My co's coming in from across the tables. We call it a family episode.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. Just the way we like it. Give it up for my best pal in the whole wide world, king of the burbs, king of the boards, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the freaking charts.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  Yes, we are.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you sign up for the $5. I would say to the $10. That's what 95% of the people are at.

• 1:16H. Foley?

  Value.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  $10 level. It's the value.

• 1:18H. Foley?

  Is that what you call it? Value?

• 1:19Speaker 02

  It's value, I think.

• 1:20H. Foley?

  In consumerism?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  I guess. I don't know.

• 1:21H. Foley?

  Value?

• 1:22Speaker 02

  To be honest with you, we fell backwards into it. That's just kinda how I made it up at the day when we started it. Uh...

• 1:29H. Foley?

  Guys at Forbes really ate it up.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, you go over there, you get two bonus episodes a week, Hard Feelings, you get AYG. Plus you get the back catalog of the last like five years or something like that. However long we've been doing it. We've done this a long time, a long frickin' time. We've done this show six years.

• 1:42H. Foley?

  Go over there and join the army. 16,000 strong.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  Yes. I saw, I saw a very cool comment, uh, came across my desk earlier. It said...

• 1:51H. Foley?

  You have a desk?

• 1:51Speaker 02

  No. Um...

• 1:52H. Foley?

  I don't have a desk.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  I don't have a desk.

• 1:54H. Foley?

  Hey, you do. You got a desk in there.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  Nah, the boys took it.

• 1:57H. Foley?

  Ah, that's right, the Shark use it.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't have any. I don't have a desk.

• 1:59H. Foley?

  Edited videos.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Um, I give it to my employees. Uh, but it said, "It's pretty cool that if you can just type in 'Are You Garbage?' in a comedian's name, there's like a 90%, 95% chance they've done the show."

• 2:12H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  And you're like, "Oh shit." Yeah, you forget, we've been doing this a long time. You got a lot, a lot of friends, a lot of people that have done it.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  A lot of wanderer to the bridge.

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Buddy, you don't have a boat big enough. Um, I got something for you. I was down on a boardwalk, king of the boards.

• 2:25H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Finally got to follow back from the number one tavern, take that!

• 2:30H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Guy who won the Stanley Cup.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Um, I was on the boardwalk. It was about 9:00 AM.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  But...

• 2:38H. Foley?

  Getting after it early, huh? Time to happy hour start, man.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  No, so I...

• 2:43H. Foley?

  The boardwalk at 9:00 AM.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  I was on a run.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  Smell the old ketchup from the day before.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:48H. Foley?

  I always hated that.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 2:49H. Foley?

  Faint smell of malt vinegar and vomit.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Siegel's eating, you know, whatever, whatever scraps they can fuck.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  Remember homeless men died there?

• 2:56Speaker 02

  A whole, this is a whole family.

• 2:58H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  A whole, I'm talking a dirtbag Philadelphia family on the Ywood boardwalk.

• 3:04H. Foley?

  Shout out to them.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  I wrote down the exact time. It was 9:12 AM.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Uh, whole family eating pizza. 9:12...

• 3:15H. Foley?

  Where you getting a slizzy at 9:00 AM?

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Well, my thing is, I'm not against pizza for breakfast.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  Well documented.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Well documented. I'm not, I don't think there's a time you shouldn't or should not. You can eat pizza whenever you want to eat pizza.

• 3:29H. Foley?

  How you getting a fresh pie at 9:00?

• 3:30Speaker 02

  They're slinging them down there.

• 3:31H. Foley?

  Are they?

• 3:32Speaker 02

  Uh, and also, but my thing is, I get if it's the only option, if you're like the heir or something, but there's like breakfast, breakfast places like every block on the boardwalk that you can easily walk in, no line, get a short stack and a fucking Western omelet.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  What's that all about? What do you got on that?

• 3:53H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  That's a whole, dude, that top, they were, they had the whole, the big pie, right?

• 3:58H. Foley?

  The large daddy?

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Dad's carrying the big pie.

• 4:01H. Foley?

  With the flop?

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Uh...

• 4:02H. Foley?

  You gotta get two hands on that thing.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  He's got the big, he's got, he's got it like this, right? Dad's carrying it like this. Uh, they had a two liter of Coke.

• 4:10H. Foley?

  Those kids can't be doing good in school. They just can't, man. Scientifically, they cannot be doing well.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  And the one, the one daughter was carrying a stack of paper plates. Like they asked, they were gonna eat outside, they were eating. I could maybe, go do that in your home.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  Were they walking?

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, they had got it. They were walking down the boardwalk, I think to like a bench to post up and have breakfast.

• 4:32H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  That's tough, right? Listen, I, that's...

• 4:38H. Foley?

  Ouch.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Did you get a gander at the toppings?

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Unless it was...

• 4:43H. Foley?

  Wasn't peptides?

• 4:43Speaker 03

  A breakfast sauce?

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Unless, yeah, unless it was a bacon, egg and cheese top. Like, get the, no!

• 4:49Speaker 03

  It would give a little more sway.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  You'd have to do egg.

• 4:52H. Foley?

  There's gotta be mushrooms and olives on that thing, too. Trash.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Dude, they were going heavy around, whatever's free at the thing. They're doing all garlic powder.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Looking like a quarter of a shake on there.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Bag of, bag of swag.

• 5:06H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  That's a tough look. I just remember being like, ah, top.

• 5:09H. Foley?

  In your jersey shorts, all tough look. What the hell are you talking about?

• 5:12Speaker 02

  I was exercising. I got a green juice, which I was running. People, I'd be, I ran every day. Which, by the way...

• 5:19H. Foley?

  Shamrock Shake.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  I'm like, king of the boards is a joke. I mean, our fan base is heavy in Ywood.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  You're jogging by?

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Oh dude, people are looking at me like, "What?"

• 5:28H. Foley?

  You're huffing it down there?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I ran every morning.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Really?

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Two miles.

• 5:31H. Foley?

  How far you go down?

• 5:32Speaker 02

  What?

• 5:33H. Foley?

  To the funnel cake joint and back?

• 5:34Speaker 02

  I go down, I have breakfast with that family.

• 5:37H. Foley?

  You grab a funnel cake down there?

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 5:39H. Foley?

  Really?

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 5:40H. Foley?

  Ah, what the fuck?

• 5:41Speaker 02

  I just got a pain.

• 5:42H. Foley?

  Really? Fuck, no, Kimmy!

• 5:46Speaker 02

  I've been catching...

• 5:46H. Foley?

  That's your right side.

• 5:47Speaker 02

  I've been catching stingers.

• 5:48H. Foley?

  Really?

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:49H. Foley?

  I've been getting chest pains.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Oh, cool. Look at us.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  We're making fun of family eating pizza for breakfast.

• 5:56H. Foley?

  I've been taking my baby aspirin, which I think I should.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:59H. Foley?

  Yeah. That's the widow maker right there. That saves you from a heart attack. Pop one of those baby aspirins.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  Healthiest podcast in America, folks.

• 6:07H. Foley?

  Or Nebbitol. What I was gonna say is I love French toast this weekend, believe it or not. Um...

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Why would I not be able to believe that?

• 6:14H. Foley?

  I'm not a French toast guy. Where the fuck you ever see me eat French toast?

• 6:19Speaker 02

  All right. I mean, you're not, not a French toast guy.

• 6:22H. Foley?

  I, I like it, but I don't like patties, really.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  All right, I like when my mommy does it.

• 6:28H. Foley?

  But she hasn't done in a long time.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Because you don't call her, you don't text her. She's blowing up my phone, is bro, because you won't call her back.

• 6:34H. Foley?

  I call her back.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  I had to go over there for Sunday dinner the other night.

• 6:37H. Foley?

  I bet you did. A little dessert, too.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  You're foul.

• 6:42H. Foley?

  She's dressed up like Ally Lauder from fucking Varsity Blues.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  You're a foul man. You're a heathen.

• 6:49H. Foley?

  Woo wee!

• 6:50Speaker 02

  It's your goddamn mother.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  That's right, she is.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  So what if she's a tramp, you know?

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Patty, Patty, I love you, obviously.

• 6:58H. Foley?

  Uh, we're doing too much with French toast. It's just completely...

• 7:01Speaker 02

  What would you do?

• 7:02H. Foley?

  Well, this had like, this had Mars Capone cheese and lemon curd.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Mars Capone isn't cheese.

• 7:08H. Foley?

  This it is. Mars Capone.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  It's Al Capone, it's Al Capone's sister.

• 7:12H. Foley?

  He also ran the Pike Fitters Union from 1970 to 1983. They got him with a nail bomb.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  What? You can tell when you like when your hands start going. Mars Capo, I didn't think Mars Capo, I thought it was like a whipping, like a whipped cream.

• 7:29H. Foley?

  No, it's cheese dumbass.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  It's a soft triple cream Italian cheese. I had no idea.

• 7:34H. Foley?

  Triple cream, bitch.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  I thought you were more of a from under cheese man.

• 7:38H. Foley?

  Get that. I like to smell it. Um, it's just too much, man. Just do fucking straight French toast.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Well, why'd you order it?

• 7:46H. Foley?

  That's all they had. I wanted something sweet for the table, you know?

• 7:50Speaker 02

  And they didn't have a short stack?

• 7:52H. Foley?

  No, they didn't have a short stack.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  They didn't have, they didn't have a sticky bun? They only had, they only had French toast.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  Only had French toast.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  With Mars, Mars, Mars Capone, with the, with the triple soft Italian cheese on it?

• 8:03H. Foley?

  That's all they had.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  That's all, is it?

• 8:04H. Foley?

  That's all they had.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  What was the name of this place?

• 8:06H. Foley?

  Astoria, out in Cleveland. Shout out to it. Detroit Avenue. Fantastic restaurant.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  Stop saying streets!

• 8:12H. Foley?

  Why?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Because first of all, you've only ever said Detroit Avenue. Makes you think it's the only block you've ever been on.

• 8:17H. Foley?

  There's a lot going on out there.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  That's what someone said about street road. They go, "How long is this fucking street?" Says everything seems to happen.

• 8:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's delicious. Now, shout out to Astoria. I love the joint. And it's not them, I'm just saying in general, we gotta stop with the French toast. Just fucking do it normal. Just make normal French toast. That's all anybody really wants.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:39H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? Sick of this shit. That, the data centers, it's all jammed up.

• 8:47H. Foley?

  Still don't know what they are.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  You know, either they're lying.

• 8:50H. Foley?

  It's like a Wegmans.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  I don't know, I got data. It's a pretty good idea to me.

• 8:55H. Foley?

  AI parts. Ah, man, pizza for breakfast. God love them.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Also, too, I wanted to bring up, uh, I was, I was down ashore. My, my sister's family was down there as well.

• 9:06H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah?

• 9:07Speaker 02

  And I've always pegged her pretty class. Not trashy, but you know, she's kinda neutral.

• 9:11H. Foley?

  Tough cookie.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:12H. Foley?

  I stay clear of her.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Yeah, you're not on her.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  She's always been nice to you.

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Very sweet to me.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:19H. Foley?

  But I just know, I, even if people, even if those kinda people aren't nice to me, I know that they are more human and like have their shit way more together than I do and they look, not down on me, but you know, I'm a moron in her eyes.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  I think you're a moron in a lot of people. I'm just, you know, I think if we're...

• 9:38H. Foley?

  If a fly looks at me.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  That's a lot of eyes.

• 9:41H. Foley?

  That's what I, that's, yeah.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  I got you.

• 9:43H. Foley?

  It's the bit we're doing.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  It's never a good bit when you have to tell me it's the bit we're doing.

• 9:49H. Foley?

  Hey, you knew it.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  No, I know.

• 9:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Okay. Guys are real locked in.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Shark, hit me with a fly eye.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  There's one just flew in your mouth.

• 9:59H. Foley?

  I know. It's fruit flies in this joint. They got fucking Irish bar.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Why's your mom here?

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Patty!

• 10:10H. Foley?

  Somebody changed the maraschino cherries in his joint. You gotta pour, you gotta pour hot water down the drain. That's how you get rid of them.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  They're not in the drain.

• 10:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, they are.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  That's not where they're coming from, the trash. We left food in the trash.

• 10:21H. Foley?

  No, they, trust me, they, they nest in the, in the drains.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  I'm not saying they don't, okay.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  They put their larvae down there.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  That's what they do. That's how we did it back in the day. You pour hot water down a drain, kill all the larvae. Larvae.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Larvae.

• 10:38H. Foley?

  Larva.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:39H. Foley?

  Larvy. Whatever. Who are you, fucking Doctor Who? Get out of Doctor Who. Wait, what's his name? What the fuck did Doctor Who do anyway? Is he a time traveler?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:49H. Foley?

  That guy was a freak.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  I don't know when that hit. The second flip got into it, I was like, I hate this. Hey, Doctor, I, dude, I don't know if it's a cartoon.

• 11:00H. Foley?

  What's with the phone booth?

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Is it British?

• 11:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, oh yeah, very.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Get out of here, dude. Fuck you.

• 11:07H. Foley?

  He worked out weird, the one in the seventies was crazy.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  There was multiple?

• 11:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, multiple series.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Was that the reboot that everybody got into?

• 11:14Speaker 03

  So it's never stopped, like, they just add Doc, they just, it's like James Bond, like, there's a new Doctor Who every few years.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Doctor Who gives a shit.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  What does he do?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  What? Killing over here, these flies.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  What does he do?

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Not quite sure. He's a time traveling, like, cop.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm out, dude.

• 11:30H. Foley?

  Is he a time, a time traveling cop? I thought he was just causing trouble.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  I don't think, I think he-

• 11:34Speaker 02

  Don't they call him inspectors? He's a time traveling inspector?

• 11:36H. Foley?

  No, that's-

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Nothing's worse than a British guy from another time period. No thanks. I barely like you now. Isn't it?

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Fucking British guy from the seventies?

• 11:46H. Foley?

  Oh, man, yeah.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Hey, Austin Powers, hit the showers, will you?

• 11:51H. Foley?

  Tell Doctor Who to work on his French toast case.

• 12:01H. Foley?

  Patty, I'm coming home! I need a hot meal and a warm bed.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Some Mars Capone.

• 12:07H. Foley?

  I don't like Mars Capone either. And I'm barely hanging on with Ricotta, to tell you the truth.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Hanging on to what? To reality?

• 12:14H. Foley?

  I like a sharp cheddar myself.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Uh-huh. But my sister's whole family sleeps mad late. Isn't that trashy? They're a bunch of sleepyheads. I thought there was a radon leak in the house.

• 12:29H. Foley?

  You can't do that when you're sharing a house. Like, it's fucking Boathouse Row, rolling up at fucking 11 o'clock.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Mad late. To the point where I'm like, because I wake up with the baby-

• 12:42H. Foley?

  Eating that cold bacon and fucking-

• 12:43Speaker 02

  I, I take him outside and I go, alright, I'll give you the house with, you know, I'll, I'll help save some time. I'll take him for a walk, I'll fucking, I'll put him out on a deck, something. He's fine, dude, he's fine.

• 12:54H. Foley?

  Is he a rooster?

• 12:55Speaker 02

  I came, I came home at fucking 10:30 the one day, two of them were still snoozing. Get the fuck up. It's lunchtime, get the, it's crazy.

• 13:04H. Foley?

  You're about to miss his A.L.P. order.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  We're a Russo's family.

• 13:09H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, how crazy is that?

• 13:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  And I, I looked at my mom, I go, "Here's something wrong, the whole family's sleeping still." Top down.

• 13:17H. Foley?

  What, all poppin' melatonin or something?

• 13:19Speaker 02

  I don't know what's going on. The one's like seven. I go, a seven-year-old shouldn't be sleeping this late. You gotta get up.

• 13:24H. Foley?

  Fucking Nyquil's ease.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Start running around, do something.

• 13:27H. Foley?

  I used to, dude, I was always the fucking last one to bed and the first one up, man, and that is torture. At a sleepover, down, down the shore-

• 13:37Speaker 02

  It's called anxiety.

• 13:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, it is. Down the shore, I'd be up at like 6:00, waiting for everybody to get up. And the first two that would be up would be my Uncle Mike and my mom, and they would shag ass to some diner at like 6:30 to rip heaters and have breakfast. And I'd go sit there with them.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  That sounds like what you do, that's your dream. What are you talking about?

• 13:57H. Foley?

  It was cool. It was cool, but still, it's just fucking, man. I shouldn't have been in those conversations and around that.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  That, that's a real conver, the 6:30 a.m. convos.

• 14:08H. Foley?

  We're not talking about He-Man and shit.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  Fucking what Scratch and Sniff colors coming out? No, they were talking fucking Gorbachev and fucking Newt Gingrich.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Tear down that wall.

• 14:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, dude. Woo wee! I'd be the only, the only kid in the diner at fucking 6:00 a.m. Just truck drivers and hookers.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  Sounds like a nice neighborhood you were staying in.

• 14:33H. Foley?

  Shout out to the chatterbox in Ocean City.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  Um-

• 14:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's too late, dog. You can't be sleeping in. Who the fuck's sleeping in?

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Crazy, right?

• 14:42H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  He's sleeping. You sleep till noon last week when we had stuff to do. What do you mean, who the fuck's sleeping in?

• 14:50H. Foley?

  That's true, I did. Woke up in a panic.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, you should have. Um, alright, listen, all that's neither here nor there, we got a gosh darn family episode.

• 14:58H. Foley?

  It's down to business here.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  We got a family episode to get to, yeah, I mean? Um, alright, let's see here. Uh-

• 15:06H. Foley?

  What the hell was that?

• 15:07Speaker 03

  What? I got these bugs on me, dude.

• 15:10H. Foley?

  Lukas requested a, a fly trap for you.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  The boys are jammed up. I had a plan, I run, we have to fill out a P.O. form to get a fucking-

• 15:18H. Foley?

  You got the curtain fixed, though. Shout out to Dee's fixing the curtain.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Ah, nice.

• 15:20H. Foley?

  First thing he'd do, he came in, got on a ladder, hooked that up.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Very good.

• 15:24H. Foley?

  I broke that, by the way.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  No, wait, really?

• 15:26H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  I didn't even think of it, of course.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Right, man. Yeah, trying to close it or open it.

• 15:33H. Foley?

  Open it.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Whipping it.

• 15:34H. Foley?

  Because this dickhead fucking keeps it pinched and, and, it, it, the air conditioning's blowing against the curtain. Not to mention, you keep it on eco. Fuck that shit. These kids are on their own. I want cold. All the freon.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 15:49H. Foley?

  Fucking blast me out. Fucking eco.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Is that what you and your boys do on the weekend? I blast you out.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  That's a family show. I don't care what you do in your spare time, but clean it up, will you?

• 16:02H. Foley?

  Yes, thank you.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 16:04H. Foley?

  I apologize.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Um, alright, this one's from Doctor Suggamiballs. Longtime homie, never had one written.

• 16:10H. Foley?

  Pediatrician.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  How do you feel about a grown man licking an ice cream cone?

• 16:15H. Foley?

  Hmm. Interesting.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  I, I, listen, I don't know if this is the 1990's-

• 16:23H. Foley?

  Can't enjoy a cone?

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Homophobia in me? Not homo, but, you know, that was considered... Ah, yeah, and it's not my cup of, and that's the wrong thought, but that's instilled in me. I can't go-

• 16:36H. Foley?

  You can't get a cone in the summer when it's burning hot. It's fuck, dude, you gotta lick. It goes everywhere.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Hey, blast it out. What are you talking about?

• 16:44H. Foley?

  I had one, I, I, I had a cup not that long ago.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  The balls?

• 16:51H. Foley?

  Hey, do what the customer likes. No, I had a fucking cone. From a joint.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:56H. Foley?

  And I had to lick around it. I had to look around a cone. Or a cup. It's melting everywhere. And I like half melted ice cream, don't get me wrong, but I like when it's in like the Ben and Jerry's tub, then I spoon it out. This was a little cup, it was falling everywhere. What the fuck are you gonna do? What are you supposed to do?

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't, I'm a weird guy, I don't do, I'm not like walking and doing ice cream, I'm not doing sweet treats like that. That's how you get got. Now, you're a walk, dude, you're a sitting duck. You're walking, you got chocolate vanilla all over your face. Someone comes, comes up and clobber you.

• 17:25H. Foley?

  You young dolphin. What are you talking about?

• 17:28Speaker 02

  What do you mean, you're sitting there, num, num, num, you are a sitting-

• 17:31H. Foley?

  Let them get me while I got a cone in my hand. I don't give a fuck.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  What?

• 17:34H. Foley?

  Let them get me. Come get it.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 17:37H. Foley?

  I'll pull out the fucking Nina.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't, you are, I don't like this.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Got a switch on it?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  The fucking barrel on it, pull out the heater. Fuck that. I wanna go with a cone in my hand.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Okay, well then, keep, keep operating like that.

• 17:54H. Foley?

  I will.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that's, yeah, that's, uh-

• 17:58H. Foley?

  What, do you think that's trashy?

• 18:00Speaker 02

  No, I didn't, what?

• 18:01H. Foley?

  Feminine?

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:02H. Foley?

  To lick an ice cream cone?

• 18:04Speaker 02

  To lick anything publicly, I would say, is by the historical-

• 18:09H. Foley?

  It's 2026, enjoy your ice cream, dude.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  I'm not saying don't-

• 18:12H. Foley?

  I'll go to Big Guy Ice Cream, we got an ice cone right now, lick the whole thing.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:16H. Foley?

  Top to bottom.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  And then get ice cream. And then see if they have any sweet treats. Listen, I'm not saying don't do it, I enjoy it, I'm just saying, for whatever reason, uh, what was ever instilled in me, that's tough for me to overcome.

• 18:30H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  And I'm saying that's wrong. As the progressive movement has-

• 18:34H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  -showed me.

• 18:35H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Uh, all day.

• 18:38H. Foley?

  You know what a lot of people do now? Is they get the cup, and they get the cone on top, and you kinda crush it up with your spoon. That way you have like a little bit of both. You got an upside down cone, which they used to do at Friendly's, for the kids. They'd do the sugar cone upside down and they'd give you the two Reese's Pieces eyes. That thing, that thing melted. Like something out of a nightmare. Scary.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  His eyes are running and they're bleeding, help him. Uh, yeah, I don't know, I never, uh, I even, yeah, I just-

• 19:09H. Foley?

  I'd imagine, I spilled a whole bag of Sour Skittles at the airport.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  You stink.

• 19:15H. Foley?

  Everybody was looking at me. And there was a couple I didn't get, and people kept walking and smushing them into the carpet.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Why didn't you, why couldn't you get them?

• 19:22H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, you didn't get them.

• 19:24H. Foley?

  At that point.

• 19:27H. Foley?

  That's the airport, that's the FDA's problem. Or whoever, FAA. FDA?

• 19:32Speaker 02

  FAA.

• 19:33H. Foley?

  FAA.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  FDA too, Food and Drug Administration.

• 19:36H. Foley?

  No, fuck them. Ain't gonna hold up in court. I'll take them on, two seconds.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, I, listen, you do you, but I mean, he's asking it to say, he's got, I guess he's got the same kinda feeling.

• 19:49H. Foley?

  No good.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  There's something a little dainty about it, that's all I'm saying. What you do in the privacy of your home is up to you.

• 19:55H. Foley?

  You never have to do it in your house, cuz it's nice, it's good temperature in the house. It's only when it's fucking hot as shit outside. What are you gonna run all over your hands and you got sticky hands? They only give you a little tiny fucking napkin. I mean, what the fuck, man? You gotta lick it.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  Are you doing cones at the crib?

• 20:11H. Foley?

  Sometimes, Patty likes a cone. She'll do a cone, like an old school cone.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  The sugar cone or whatever, like?

• 20:17H. Foley?

  No, old school cone.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  What's an old school, okay.

• 20:19H. Foley?

  Old school cone is the wafer cone.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Wafer cone, that's what I meant, I'm sorry.

• 20:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay. I apologize.

• 20:24H. Foley?

  Sugar cone, that was, that's rich kid shit. We never got sugar cones.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  I don't know the difference, I know the wafer cones, yeah.

• 20:28H. Foley?

  You know the difference. A regular cone to a sugar cone.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  What the fuck, what is this, the, eh, the Middle East? Relax.

• 20:36H. Foley?

  They don't have cones over there.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  What the fuck, everything with milk, all the bombs.

• 20:40H. Foley?

  Drive either.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Uh...

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Like the weight, like the, the cheap cones.

• 20:46H. Foley?

  Cheap cones, not a sugar cone. Sugar cone is the hard, is the hard crunchy brown cone.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Wafer cone has like the bowl.

• 20:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Of wafer.

• 20:56H. Foley?

  Yes, you ever see the double one?

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Like the Mr. Softy cone.

• 20:59H. Foley?

  Yeah. Yes.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's all we had growing up. I don't know what a sugar cone, the sugar cone.

• 21:03H. Foley?

  It was the rough times when you was eating one of those.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Oh, been there. These flies are crazy. This is like the fly episode, dude. What the fuck, these weren't here last week.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  Um...

• 21:13H. Foley?

  I came in and cleaned up, you guys had trash everywhere.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, thanks so much for doing that, man, you're the best. You're the best part, you're the best partner I've ever seen in my life.

• 21:21H. Foley?

  Thank you, man, I'm sorry, appreciate it. Not so bad yourself.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Uh huh. You come in, you broke the curtain, didn't tell anybody, you come in, you claim you're cleaning up our trash and then throw it in our face publicly. You're a good guy.

• 21:32H. Foley?

  Thank you. That's a big one.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  The June bug, Jesus.

• 21:38H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Zocdoc, baby.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Zocdoc, Zocdoc, Zocdoc.

• 21:41H. Foley?

  Now, listen, if you're looking for a doctor, you don't gotta be scrolling through and this and that, go to Zocdoc and get yourself straightened out. Put in where you are, what you're looking for, they'll pull up whether you're, you know, it's in your insurance plan. They make it fast, they make it easy to find a good reliable doctor. I mean, it's a no brainer.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I put off going to the doctor for years, like a decade, because I hated to call in, schedule, and I have to call and reschedule, I can't make it.

• 22:04H. Foley?

  Do you take this, do you take that?

• 22:05Speaker 02

  It's all over, then you get there, oh, we don't do this, you gotta send you the forms. Listen, I then, this is a few, maybe two years ago, I was like, you know what? I gotta, I gotta go get a physical. Went on to Zocdoc, I just put in, I had really bad insurance, that this is, they gave me somebody, ended up loving the guy.

• 22:21H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  You get to read the reviews, you get to review the guy, the review of the doctor, the practice, what it's like, so you have some information before you're going in. Now I love the guy, he's my go-to freaking guy. They have more than a hundred and fifty thousand providers within two hundred plus specialties across all fifty states. Zocdoc's website has tons of reviews from real patients like myself and detailed doctor profiles to help you choose the right one. You see actual appointment opening, it's like other, it's like, it was as easy as making a reservation. You go, I want nine thirty AM here with him, bada bing, bada boom. You see actual appointment openings and click instantly to book a visit. Appointments happen fast, usually within twenty-four to seventy-two hours, and you can even score the same day appointment. Zocdoc is free to use, one more time, it is free to use. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be more, shouldn't be complicated.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Find and book the right doctor with Zocdoc. Head to zocdoc.com/garbage to get started and check the appointment off your to-do list. That's zocdoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 23:20H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Helix.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Helix.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  We always talk about Helix, don't we?

• 23:23Speaker 02

  We've been talking about Helix for years.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  And we, we really, we talk about Helix genuinely because we love Helix.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:30H. Foley?

  We genuinely love it.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Changed the Helix, made me feel like it was my first big boy mattress, adult mattress, and it's, I can't go back.

• 23:38H. Foley?

  I got a Helix, you got a Helix, you're in your second Helix, I believe.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 23:41H. Foley?

  Family members have Helixes.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Come on, Helix.

• 23:43H. Foley?

  It's literally the best mattress, you don't gotta walk around a mattress store, you go over to Helix, you take the quiz, two, three minutes, you find out how you like to sleep, they pay you with the perfect mattress. Bang, you get it delivered, and you got an amazing mattress for the rest of your life.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Yep, now, free shipping and seamless delivery, Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping within the US. A hundred and twenty night sleep trial with limited lifetime warranty.

• 24:05H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  The happy with Helix guarantee, rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk-free, customer-first experience. Designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress, baby. So here it is, go to helixsleep.com/garbage for twenty-seven percent off site-wide. One more time, twenty-seven percent off site-wide, exclusive for listeners of Are You Garbage? That's helixsleep.com/garbage for twenty-seven percent off site-wide. Make sure you enter the show name after checkout and let them know the boy sent you. One more time, helixsleep.com/garbage.

• 24:37H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Um... Alright, let's see here, enough, enough of the, enough of the horseplay. Uh, this one's from Frogman, ten dollar black market tuna, never had one red, and great name. Is it garbage to eat the, is it garbage to eat the leftovers from a restaurant on the car ride home from said restaurant?

• 24:54H. Foley?

  Ugh, I mean, come on.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wouldn't, yeah, for sure.

• 24:59H. Foley?

  It's when they're the freshest.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  But I wouldn't be in the, like, what is the distance you're driving just to then not be in the mood?

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Like, if I was, if I'm gonna eat it thirty minutes later, let's, alright, let's say you finish eating, it's nine o'clock, they wrap it up, they drop it. You gotta be home, check paid, in the car, driving home by what, nine forty?

• 25:20H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  At that point.

• 25:22H. Foley?

  You haven't had your dinner drink?

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, just call.

• 25:24H. Foley?

  Digest Heath, maybe?

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Forty-five minutes, I think is a long time from check pay to...

• 25:28H. Foley?

  Cracking back into the scampi?

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why not just finish it at the table? Or go, I'm gonna wait till I get home.

• 25:34H. Foley?

  Wait till you get home. I'm a big fan of eating it that night, though, before it gets refrigerated. Big fan.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not, yeah, well, Doc, not a, not a leftover guy, but I, I, that I...

• 25:46H. Foley?

  Car ride home.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  That seems insane.

• 25:48H. Foley?

  You still trying to close ass with that?

• 25:49Speaker 02

  You even have utensils?

• 25:51H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 25:54H. Foley?

  Nobody gives you fucking utensils when you go.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  No, takeout, different. Takeout, I'll give you, you get takeout, you...

• 26:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, take a shrimp.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  I did this, I fuck, I was down the shore, I got a, I got a cheesesteak and fries at the back, you pick it up, roosters, you pick it up at the back counter, and then you go up to the front and you pay.

• 26:09H. Foley?

  They bagged them fries? Or they put them in a plastic, or a styrofoam container?

• 26:13Speaker 02

  They're, uh, classy. It's, uh, the carton, like the...

• 26:17H. Foley?

  The Chinese carton?

• 26:19Speaker 02

  What's the Chinese carton?

• 26:20H. Foley?

  The, the brown, the brown paper carton.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  No, just wait, why, you know, just stop with this. You just said no, right away, I gave you the cart, they put them in a cart and you said no. Chinese, and then you bring the Chinese into it for some reason.

• 26:33H. Foley?

  Everywhere.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Fucking terrorists are killing me. No, like a fry cart, like the fucking boat, like the little fucking, yeah, but the things the fries come in.

• 26:42H. Foley?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, the, with the red and white?

• 26:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:45H. Foley?

  Oh, okay, and then a little wax paper over top?

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Then a little wax paper bag, they stuff it in that, and then they give it to you like, standing up, though, so everything's still in.

• 26:51H. Foley?

  I respect that, yeah, cuz they don't steam.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  I got, yeah.

• 26:54H. Foley?

  That's the way that, uh, Pudges does them, and they get home and they're crispy fries.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  And then you get up to the counter and they put all of that in, like brown, like good old market brown paper bags, they put that, if you get a soda, they separate the soda in a, very nice. But I'm sitting there in line. I'm, I'm crushing fries as I'm paying, which felt very fat. I felt like I was being judged, but once you pop.

• 27:20H. Foley?

  Done.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  You can't stop.

• 27:22H. Foley?

  No, especially those kinda fries. That Jersey Shore.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  It's been there since the eighties, got a lot of flavor in it. I don't know if it's peanut oil or tallow or what they're using. That stuff's, that ain't fucking soybean, I'll tell you that.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  I'm eating them on the walk, huh, just, I'm just...

• 27:39H. Foley?

  Fries, walking fries?

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  It's tough.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  I am what I am, dude.

• 27:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  I'm eating a fuck, the cheesesteaks are huge, I'm crushing them, crushing them. Multi-cheese, multi-cheesesteak weekend for your boy.

• 27:55H. Foley?

  Running every day.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  I was, but first I'd get up and I'd run, I'd only drank light beer, had a couple IPA, shout out to a Kate May IPA, went out to Dennis.

• 28:04H. Foley?

  I didn't know they had them.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 28:06H. Foley?

  Kate May IPA.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  What do they think of next?

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Check it out. Um...

• 28:12H. Foley?

  Man, I haven't had an IPA in a dog's age.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Be funny if you're right on yourself. And I had them about three weeks.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not missing much, yeah.

• 28:20H. Foley?

  Don't miss them, I don't miss it.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, they stink. Kate May, hit me up.

• 28:24H. Foley?

  I don't miss the booze.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good.

• 28:26H. Foley?

  Yeah. Now they're stoned.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  It was when you're off.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see here, yeah, the, eating on the ride home from the restaurant, that's, I mean...

• 28:36H. Foley?

  Trash.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Eh, yeah, it's trash, but, you know, do you. But like you said, they are the freshest. Um, this is a great name, this is from Smarty Jones in Fort Percocet.

• 28:46H. Foley?

  Hello.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Are you garbage if your family used a funeral as an excuse to party? My uncle got all banged up at the luncheon, open bar, and proceeded to play the Cupid Shuffle over the dining room's audio system. When asked to stop his drunken responsibilities, she would've wanted it this way. Damn, dude, that's a...

• 29:08Speaker 02

  I think if that guy's in the family and acting like that, he's not that far away from the rest of your family.

• 29:15H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  You're, that's how you're...

• 29:20Speaker 02

  If, if somebody, the Kennedy or somebody would go like, that, that's a huge jump, but he, if he went, I could, I could request, I can get the aux cord here.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Also, who's given on the aux cord? And then the Cupid, like, that's in the world, that's in the world of possibility.

• 29:34H. Foley?

  Yeah. Wild.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  You know, someone else, they, there's a couple of aunts are probably rolling their eyes, but some of the uncles are probably fucking...

• 29:43H. Foley?

  They like it.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, uh, I mean, music out of... That should be a somber event, right?

• 29:49H. Foley?

  Yeah. Very.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:53H. Foley?

  I'm a big fan of no music. No music at the restaurant, no music. Sombre.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you get it, oh, at... Where, at a funeral or just any restaurant? You just like stuff somber? And you're a fucking wacko, dude.

• 30:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, conversation with people, talking, conversing. I don't like a restaurant where it's all loud, blasting that shit.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Can't hear the, can't hear the reels I'm playing on my phone. Also, the worst conversationalist in private, you stink.

• 30:21H. Foley?

  That's terrible. I get around regular people, I'm charming.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  What am I?

• 30:26H. Foley?

  Jerk off.

• 30:29H. Foley?

  You're playing Sean Paul where I'm trying to eat?

• 30:33H. Foley?

  I don't even know who that is really.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Sean the Ball?

• 30:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  Just give me the light and pasta.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  Is he really Jamaican? Cause Shaggy's not Jamaican.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  He is, but I don't think he's not that Jamaican.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  He ain't Jamaican, be crazy, I'll tell you that. He ain't, he's invited to the cookout though, bring the beef patties.

• 30:54H. Foley?

  Shout out to Jamaican Beef Patty. You know how I feel about them.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  Yes, I said it.

• 30:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Alright, cool.

• 30:59H. Foley?

  You play whatever the hell you want with those things that you're getting served.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, any, like, any music at a, at a, at an event like that's tough. We did, I, I, I told you, we put in, at my stepdad's funeral, we did shots of Absolut and, cause that's what he drank. And, uh, we played, I got friends in low places like 15 times on repeat. Well, I got friends, I can go out, smoke a heater, come back. There's nothing like a heater after fucking two or three Absolut, warm Absolut shots, I'll tell you that. You're in a suit with the collar undone, you step outside the Buck Hotel and crank one.

• 31:38H. Foley?

  Like you're, you're going through menopause. I got hot flash.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  I'm burping out of the side of my mouth.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:47H. Foley?

  Absolut, Absolut gross.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  Absolute scumbag.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  We, I remember that was where we, we were trying to get cigs delivered, cause we were cranking them. Everybody's smoking. Trying to get cigs delivered, can't get cigs, so my wife drove to get us cigarettes. And I'm a dude, she came in like the fucking...

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Like a helicopter in fucking Beirut.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  She came in over the ridge. Here she comes. The hot drop.

• 32:23H. Foley?

  You got your lighters going?

• 32:27Speaker 02

  How's it getting you to do this for the family? You need, it's what he wanted. Go get me Marlboro Lights and Danny smokes Camel Blues. You can't say Camel Lights anymore, you gotta say Camel Blues.

• 32:41H. Foley?

  Is that what Danny smokes?

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Smoked. Danny's off the heaters. Whole family's off the heaters.

• 32:45H. Foley?

  Shout out to him.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  Whole family.

• 32:47H. Foley?

  You have a heater down ashore?

• 32:48Speaker 02

  No. No. Whole family's off them. Zins, big ziners.

• 32:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Or whatever they're doing, that, you know.

• 32:56H. Foley?

  Get it.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Cool guys are vaping, I hear.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  The Lucy Breakers.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  Lucy Breakers.

• 33:03H. Foley?

  Company man over here.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  The fuck?

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Someone's gotta be.

• 33:06H. Foley?

  They re-up? Otherwise we're cutting.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  They're always in.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Uh, I mean, for me, I'm a Lucy Breakers guy, but I'm saying, my brother, cause he's an idiot, he does not Lucy Break. Are they fucking sponsoring this week? Why am I doing that?

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Uh...

• 33:26H. Foley?

  You got to pull out a heater right now?

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Alright, this one's, uh, from Tooty Fit. Garbage or genius? Sometimes I make a salami sandwich for the drive to the grocery store, saves me from the impulse hunger buy.

• 33:36H. Foley?

  Shit, they always say you should never go to the grocery store hungry.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  They also don't, I don't think they say eat salami in the car, in the middle of August.

• 33:44H. Foley?

  I used to love a salami, I'd get salami for lunch.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 33:49H. Foley?

  In, in high school, in high school. And I, just a thin slice, couple slices of salami and American cheese.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 33:57H. Foley?

  Woo! That'll do ya.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  That breath must have been rank.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  Fucking...

• 34:04H. Foley?

  Right before Jim.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  No dudes wanted to blast you out on that one.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Oh man, I had heartburn back too, that shit would fuck you up, that little Dijon mustard.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Fucking raw onions. I had, I had some salami.

• 34:18H. Foley?

  Eating like a Russian autoworker.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Outside of, outside of Mako.

• 34:27H. Foley?

  Mako? The out of body place, this?

• 34:31Speaker 02

  The out of body?

• 34:38H. Foley?

  I get those things on Instagram, what like, what a, you know, what a cab driver in the seventies ate, that AI? They show what the presidents would eat? Man, it makes me hungry. They really chomp.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 34:52H. Foley?

  I'm being paid to talk.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  Not this week, you're not.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  You can watch a beheading video and be like, you know, it makes me hungry for Jell-O.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  He had Pita in the background.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Oh man, nice hummus spread. Anytime I see the desert, I think of hummus.

• 35:10H. Foley?

  Well, I always...

• 35:11Speaker 02

  And it gets me going.

• 35:12H. Foley?

  You know what gets me hungry? When they, when they...

• 35:14Speaker 02

  Everything!

• 35:14H. Foley?

  When they...

• 35:15Speaker 02

  I've been doing this show for six years, man.

• 35:17H. Foley?

  When they transported Alexander the Great from wherever he got got to back home, they cut, they, they put him in honey to preserve him. For some reason, that makes me hungry.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  The thought of that? Or did you see footage of it? How old is he? Alexander the Great? Wait, what? He's all this shit, alright?

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, so what are you talking about?

• 35:38H. Foley?

  Cameras back there. No, they talk about it, they do videos on it. They coated him, they put him in a, in a big thing of honey.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  That's what I want for my funeral.

• 35:50H. Foley?

  Big thing of Nutella.

• 35:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't know. I used to get hungry too, when they would talk about the land of milk and honey. Sounded delicious.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Where's that at?

• 36:00H. Foley?

  Somewhere in the Middle East.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Oh, oh really?

• 36:02H. Foley?

  I think so.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  I thought it was pussy.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  Go to the land of milk and honey.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  It ain't Baltimore, I'll tell you that. Yeah, I don't know, land of milk and honey, I don't know, something in the Bible or something like that.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  The land of milk and honey wasn't in the Bible, was it?

• 36:17H. Foley?

  I think it was.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  I think that's where you get the 72 virgins.

• 36:20H. Foley?

  Where? In the land of milk and honey?

• 36:21Speaker 02

  It is pussy. That is real nice stuff.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  It's from Exodus.

• 36:27H. Foley?

  Exodus.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  God promises to lea... Fantastic. God promises to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt to a rich, fertile and spacious land.

• 36:37H. Foley?

  Called the land of milk and honey?

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:39H. Foley?

  That ain't bad. That whole milk.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 36:42H. Foley?

  Really?

• 36:42Speaker 02

  Give me a tummy ache. All that lactose and then the bees, the fly, you got flies in here, imagine all that honey. He's sticking it.

• 36:50H. Foley?

  Well, they used to do that in ancient Egypt.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  What?

• 36:52H. Foley?

  They'd have a guy, they'd pay a guy or whatever, not beat them, to fuck, they put honey all over them, so he'd stand next to the king. So he wouldn't get, uh, flies on him.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  If they get somebody in here to do... Wait, these fruit flies are coming up. Kim, it's like about Chime.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  Chime!

• 37:09H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 37:12H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 37:13H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right. Watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  I know. Listen, if, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is, then you got these big corporate banks coming after you.

• 37:41H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it, oh, oh, five, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that, they got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that, I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage, that's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 38:23H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 38:36Speaker 05

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 38:44Speaker 05

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible? Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy. Now streaming on Disney+.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from, this is a great, now I think we've had this, this is from Burger, she wrote. Longtime $10 contributor to the Church of Garbage. Growing up, did you have a piece of wood used as a secondary lock on a sliding door or window?

• 39:20H. Foley?

  Oh yeah. Or a broomstick down there?

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Same thing.

• 39:23H. Foley?

  Which I thought was genius.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  I still do.

• 39:25H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  I moved into the house, first thing I did was went to Home, I had two sliding doors, first thing I went to the depot. Zip, zip, bought a long rod, slid them up.

• 39:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  How you doing?

• 39:34H. Foley?

  It's like a fucking moat.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  You feel safer.

• 39:37H. Foley?

  You feel safe.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  I, you got the big lock on it, the alarm's on, but I go, I know physically.

• 39:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  You're not, you're gonna have to smash the window. And then, listen, guy, I got window alarms going. I got glass breaking alarms.

• 39:50H. Foley?

  You got glass breaking alarms?

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 39:52H. Foley?

  Huh. Good to know.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  Okay, Luke, cancel my delivery of bricks.

• 39:59H. Foley?

  In order to be a diamond cutter, what?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I don't know why that feels... Now the baby plays with it all day long, once you gotta hide it from him.

• 40:09H. Foley?

  What, the stick?

• 40:10Speaker 02

  The stick, cause he bend and then that.

• 40:12H. Foley?

  I mean, that's, that's a sword, that's a gun.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  He don't know any, he just knows it knocks things down. Take big tree, fall hard.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Um, alright, let's see here, this was from Frit, shout out to our boy Fritzy.

• 40:24H. Foley?

  Hey, Fritzy.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  Uh, which is trashier, wearing a knee brace on the outside of the jeans or wearing a walking boot? This is a tough one.

• 40:33H. Foley?

  The walking boot, well documented, garbage. Throw in the little, the little walking boot caddy next to it, the little kneeler.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  That's...

• 40:43H. Foley?

  Stay in, stay home. You don't need to go out to dinner that bad.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  I do, I do. Walking boots were like, they're like newer in the, within the past few decades. Like, growing up, nobody was in a walking boot.

• 40:56H. Foley?

  No.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  That's all new shit. You were on crutches before.

• 40:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  And then like, they started reviewing that, I think, they're, they're like very norm, you see more walking boots than not at this point. When's the last time you seen someone on crutches?

• 41:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, the knee brace, I only see that every once in a while. The knee brace on the outside of the jeans, you just wear shorts.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  That, yeah, yeah. That feels like sports related to me though.

• 41:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  At least like, if you got like a medal, like you go, ah, that's something. That doesn't feel like...

• 41:23H. Foley?

  Walking boot, you got drunk and missed the last step.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:25H. Foley?

  Yeah. Crack your foot.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  That's tough, man, the walking boot. I saw someone on the beach on a walking boot.

• 41:31H. Foley?

  Fuck that!

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Stay the fuck home.

• 41:33H. Foley?

  Yes!

• 41:34Speaker 02

  Stay home.

• 41:35H. Foley?

  That sand gets in there?

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Next year's your year, this wasn't your year.

• 41:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, dude, sit it out.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  That's it, I don't know.

• 41:41H. Foley?

  Come back.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:42H. Foley?

  Go on waivers.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  It's tough, man. Why, dude, you got sand in there and stuff?

• 41:47H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying. Hot, heat.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Bees piling.

• 41:54H. Foley?

  Country ass shit.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Cole. Longtime $10 homie, never had one read. Is a garbage you eat jarred queso dip cold? This is a highly debated topic between me and the bird in our household. She thinks it's trashy.

• 42:11H. Foley?

  Hmm, um, well.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  I have my take on this, being that I did it maybe 48 hours.

• 42:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, here's the deal. Um.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  But please.

• 42:23H. Foley?

  There can be an argument made for when you buy the Tostitos queso dip, that you even heating it up would be trying to be something you're not and it's not. Trying to be fancy.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  I don't know about that.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  I'm a big fan of that cold. But heat it up, it's nice, but that jar is really only a single-use jar, as much as I know it's not. But once that shit gets in the fridge for a couple of days, it's fucked.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:51H. Foley?

  So.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  So, but that.

• 42:55H. Foley?

  I don't think it's trashy to eat that cold.

• 42:59H. Foley?

  I really don't. I don't see a problem with it.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Can you get the directions? Like what's on? What, you know, what, what, what do the good folks at Tost- let's, let's, what's happening with the pros?

• 43:11H. Foley?

  I could tell you the directions. You come home from the gas station that you bought it at, alright, you put on cops. And then you put it in the microwave.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  It's so funny, it's so classy to me. It was so, until like, I didn't, I didn't know.

• 43:21H. Foley?

  For a minute, for a minute. For a minute.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  I had some this weekend cold. It's trashier, the texture is tra- you need to heat to open up those, open up those flavors. It changes the, it's got a real coagulated consistency cold.

• 43:37H. Foley?

  It ain't cheese.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  No, it is not.

• 43:40H. Foley?

  It's glue.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Um.

• 43:42H. Foley?

  It's all horse.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  I don't know what. I, it just doesn't feel right. I'm not saying it's bad. I like it, I do think it has

• 43:53Speaker 02

  added value to certain things cold, but that is a warm.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Melted cheese is warm. They've just found out how to keep it relatively melted cold.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  What do you got?

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Uh, to eat Tostitos cheese dip, pop the jar open, scoop it up with your favorite tortilla chips, or warm it up in the microwave in a microwave-safe bowl for 30 seconds. You can eat it cold, straight from the jar, but heating it up makes the cheese smooth and creamy for dipping.

• 44:21H. Foley?

  I'll give you that. Let me tell you something.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Smooth and creamy is, is the key there.

• 44:24H. Foley?

  You go two, three seconds over that fucking recommended 30 seconds, you got a fucking meltdown on your hands.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's bad.

• 44:30H. Foley?

  Being, pulling an elephant foot out of the microwave.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 44:36H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I also, it was also, I guess, you, you put the, you can't put the jar in the microwave, can you?

• 44:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, you can. Not with the lid. You shouldn't. What's that?

• 44:48H. Foley?

  I'll get out of here with that. You just can't put metal in there. Take the lid off.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 44:54H. Foley?

  You put that jar in there.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  But that's also even makes you, I get that you're, it's, what?

• 44:59Speaker 03

  Well, it's also just a thing, like, to me, like, how comfortable people are with certain things in the microwave.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Like how, that's so trashy, like, I wouldn't be cool with that, but then some people are so cool with that, and like, some people will like, maybe leave a fork in there for a se- like, you know, like.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, yeah, you got 30 seconds with the aluminum, you're fine.

• 45:15H. Foley?

  That's not true.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Alright, I'm just saying, whatever.

• 45:17H. Foley?

  Sparks right away.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  You should not microwave the store-bought queso directly in a glass jar.

• 45:23H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, that crack.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  It's like a fucking sticky bomb.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck the neighbor's house up, that thing.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  It's like a daisy cutter.

• 45:38H. Foley?

  Fucking Moab.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  I'll never forget, I guess it was the war in Iraq or whatever.

• 45:45H. Foley?

  South Afghanistan, where they started pulling out that new shit.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  Dude, that daisy cutter, they did a fucking, they did a, they did a Dateline on that thing.

• 45:52H. Foley?

  Did a 30 for 30 on that thing.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  They were like, it'll suck your asshole clear out of your eye sockets from 50 miles away. I remember when, damn, these damn motherfuckers don't stand a chance out there.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  We're sitting there, my stepdad's like, turn the whole place into a parking lot. I'm like, goddamn, guy. I think the daisy cutter is your fucking wrecking ball.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, um.

• 46:17H. Foley?

  They had this new thing called the Arm of God. You see that? Or the Hammer of God?

• 46:20Speaker 02

  I think if you see, you don't have to talk about it, that's why I haven't heard.

• 46:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, they're just huge rods that they have in space that they just drop down.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  In space?

• 46:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  What, they just press a button and they fall out?

• 46:31H. Foley?

  No, yeah, and they just.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  No, yeah, I don't think you know what you're talking about.

• 46:34H. Foley?

  Not really.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  Yeah, they take them up there and then they sit up there in like a, in like a little holster, and then when they want to use them, they just drop it, and it's all kinetic energy.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  It's a different thing.

• 46:45H. Foley?

  What is?

• 46:46Speaker 03

  Hammer of Gods, it's a portable electronic warfare system, so it just like, it'll signal jam from space, it seems like.

• 46:54H. Foley?

  Sick. What's the other thing?

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Uh, what would you say?

• 46:57H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  Hammer of God?

• 46:58H. Foley?

  Something.

• 47:00H. Foley?

  They drop rods from space.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  Type that.

• 47:04H. Foley?

  Just a bunch of dudes named Rod.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Rods from God.

• 47:13H. Foley?

  Rods from God.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Is a theoretical military concept.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  I think you got hit with a rod from God.

• 47:19H. Foley?

  A rod from Rod.

• 47:24H. Foley?

  Alright, quit screwing around. God damn it. Fucking programmed to do here.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Alright, let's see here.

• 47:30H. Foley?

  And we're back.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Uh, this one's from Tooty. Still owes me money for the electrical work for the new, dude, there's bugs on my computer screen. This is crazy.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  Oh, you got them.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Um, long time, never had one read. Are you garbage if you show up to a BYOB restaurant?

• 47:48Speaker 03

  You've been flying for it?

• 47:51Speaker 03

  You got Giuliani.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  My self-tan's running.

• 47:57H. Foley?

  Hey, get the UNICEF cup, will you? Jesus Christ.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  I felt him, but I'm trying to concentrate on the ones on my screen. This place stinks, dude.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  That was like the moon landing.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  About a rod from God.

• 48:13H. Foley?

  He probably know what the hell that was. Holy shit, the veins are popping out. Man, that thing's getting, oof.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  And we're back.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Shark, cut that. Shark, take a, take a bite out of that.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Shark, chomp that out of the, out of the timeline, will you?

• 48:43H. Foley?

  Easy don't get me.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Dude, this is crazy. I feel like I'm in my backyard with the pool again.

• 48:51H. Foley?

  Fucking back at summer camp, we had a little bug juice.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  Gotta fucking bomb this place.

• 48:56H. Foley?

  Fruit flies, huh? That time of year?

• 48:59Speaker 02

  The Chipotle fries, if I'm, if I'm being honest with you.

• 49:02H. Foley?

  Chipotle fries, huh? It's not bad.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  Um, alright, let's see. This one's from Tooty. Still owes me money for the electrical work on the new dish.

• 49:08H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Long time, never had one read. Are you garbage if you show up to the BYOB restaurant with a bottle of wine still in the brown paper bag that they gave it to you at the liquor store in?

• 49:18H. Foley?

  No, not at all. Not at all. No. Not at all.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 49:24H. Foley?

  Usually you take it out, go look like a gentleman.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  So, yeah, so if, I was just saying, what you're saying, if the, if you look like a gentleman with a knot in there, that then has to be more, on a scale of gentleman to trashy, it leans more trash.

• 49:35H. Foley?

  I'd say it's an eight and a 10. You know what I mean? Or one and a three?

• 49:38Speaker 02

  No, because, what?

• 49:39H. Foley?

  Huh? It's close. It's not that big of a deal. It's not rolled up like you're a fucking hobo with a train track.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  I know, but those brown paper bags.

• 49:47H. Foley?

  They're not bad at the, at the, at the liquor stores. They're nice. They have, they almost look like baguettes.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  Yes, but if you hold it like this, but the prob- I think, the problem is you hold it by the thing, it get, that bag doesn't last that long.

• 50:00H. Foley?

  Nah, I got you.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  And it comes in looking like you got a fucking quart of O, O, OE in there.

• 50:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, I like the nice, thin, uh, liquor store bags with the little stripes on them.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 50:11H. Foley?

  You never seen that? They're nice little bags. They're like little, they're plastic bags, but they're thin.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  They give them to you for free?

• 50:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, they give them to you for free if you buy some liquor.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  You're buying some fucking product. They let you wet your beak on a free bag.

• 50:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're nice. They're nice. They're like single, single slates. Flats. S- slates.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  I'm not sure, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, you just keep saying slates.

• 50:32H. Foley?

  Rods from Gods.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, I don't, I don't have much experience with BYOB. They were big in Philly, but I never would go. I remember I went one time with Pat. His brother, oh man, I was, I think I was fifth wheeling it. That just hit me. That's a tough look.

• 50:53H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  I was probably dating Adean, but she was in Germany.

• 50:55H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  And we were day drinking, and I brought a six-pack of beers, which I feel is okay.

• 51:01H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  Right?

• 51:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  No, right?

• 51:04H. Foley?

  Did the fucking

• 51:07H. Foley?

  uh, Airbnb, what's it called? BYOB?

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 51:10H. Foley?

  Yeah, they're supposed to bring beers. That's to cool them down. You give them to the guy?

• 51:15Speaker 02

  I think we put them in a bu- like a, like a wine bucket.

• 51:17H. Foley?

  Ah, it's not bad. We had a cooler one time, the first time we went to that Taste, or from the boot.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  At a suburban spot, like, you can do to cool, like, was it the nice cooler? Like the, the B Y- no, it was like a fucking igloo cooler?

• 51:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, it was, it had wheels.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  It had wheels.

• 51:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, it rolled it in.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Huh. See if you can get, uh, like, BYOB etiquette. So, I, I don't, are BYOBs every, everywhere? I know we've talked about this before.

• 51:41H. Foley?

  No, I don't think they're everywhere.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  They're places you can bring your own bot- it was always bring your own.

• 51:46H. Foley?

  It's states, it's states and cities that have, uh, strict, um, um, uh, liquor license laws.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  It kinda changed though with COVID. Like, I think that kinda swapped a lot of things.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  That makes sense.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  A lot, even in the city, there were a couple of spots doing BYOB.

• 52:00H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause New York's not really a BYOB.

• 52:02H. Foley?

  No.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  But.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  I went one time to a place next to 4th Street.

• 52:06H. Foley?

  I have a fly in my hair. It's just killing me.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Might be a spider. The place on 4th Street, next to New York Comedy Club, a little bit out there, it's a, it's the tiny little spot, little Italian spot.

• 52:18H. Foley?

  Well, yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  It's a, it has like five tables or whatever. Me and Adean went there and I sat down, I was like, I'll do a fucking, you know, what, an IPA or something? Cause I also just recently started drinking wine, and by started drinking wine, meaning I'll drink wine.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  You know.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  But I would go anywhere. I'd always order beers.

• 52:38H. Foley?

  Beer's an Italian food.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's all I know.

• 52:42H. Foley?

  Talk about heartburn.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Well, I never saw my dad drink wine.

• 52:46H. Foley?

  Neither did I. Not until much later in life.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  I don't, I've never seen my dad drink a glass of wine. So wine to me was for ladies.

• 52:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  And swingers.

• 52:56H. Foley?

  And Italian men.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  They had odd relationships with their mothers.

• 53:02H. Foley?

  Drinking out of a juice glass. Some homemade hooch.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  No man in my life drank wine. My stepdad later started drinking White Zinfandel. That was later, though. I think that was the...

• 53:13H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  I don't know what that...

• 53:16H. Foley?

  Skip over that.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Complicated reason.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  But I think he would, yeah, so I didn't... There was no, and then like my brother would be like, "Yeah, I'll do a bottle of red." I wouldn't be like, "Who the fuck is this guy?" You know, like as... I'd be 20, he's 25, and he'd be like, "Yeah, we'll do a bottle of so-and-so." And I wanted to be like, "Don't tell a bad about this."

• 53:39H. Foley?

  Is it a date?

• 53:41Speaker 02

  You trying to fuck me, dude?

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I even, I like, they would go like when clubbing was cool, they would go, I would just, I would get beers.

• 53:53H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Like, "Let me get a six-pack," they'd bring like a six-pack of Coors Light or whatever. That's what I would do.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  And just wait for the pussy to roll in, huh?

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Sup? My brother drinks wine.

• 54:10H. Foley?

  Can you believe that shit?

• 54:11Speaker 02

  Not me. I got Coors Light.

• 54:14H. Foley?

  Aluminum bottles.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  The worst.

• 54:18H. Foley?

  That was a lot.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  Sorry. I felt it on my teeth. It makes my blood run cold. That rim?

• 54:27Speaker 03

  A couple do's and don'ts of the BYOB at a restaurant. Don't duplicate, they say, so never bring a brand or label that's already on the menu, but that's kind of...

• 54:36Speaker 02

  But then why would they have it?

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Mood point, yeah. They say match the venue, so bring a nice bottle if it's a nicer spot. Cheaper box drinks is fine to a lower-class establishment.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Now we're talking.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  Bring enough to share.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  What's that mean? With the tables next to me?

• 54:56H. Foley?

  Fucking mooches. Coors Light.

• 54:59H. Foley?

  Now, for the table, don't bring a single beer. Yeah. Duh.

• 55:04Speaker 02

  Fucking drink one beer. What am I, a dickhead?

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Huh? Why are you going out to dinner if you're only gonna drink one beer?

• 55:15Speaker 03

  They also say let the staff handle it.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  But I, I've been to a couple and I've never really...

• 55:21H. Foley?

  I got them counting. There's six in there.

• 55:26H. Foley?

  Maybe seven.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  Can you put these in the safe, please?

• 55:32Speaker 02

  I don't want anybody stealing my pounders.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  I got him handcuffed.

• 55:43H. Foley?

  That's premium malt liquor right there. Tell you that.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  God. Okay.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't, uh, I don't fuck with them, really, at all. I don't know, it's just so not my... And I don't know how to pick out wine. I do, the few times I do, I do like a 15, 14.99 bottle, live in there. I'm not buying wine for anybody, ever.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  I'll buy it to have, if some people are like, "Oh, here's a bottle of red."

• 56:18H. Foley?

  Yeah. That's good, 15, 12 bucks, whatever.

• 56:21Speaker 02

  I like those, uh, what's the one with the kangaroo?

• 56:27H. Foley?

  Yellowtail?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Yellowtail.

• 56:28H. Foley?

  You do?

• 56:29Speaker 02

  I do.

• 56:30H. Foley?

  Those magnums?

• 56:30Speaker 02

  I do, yeah, the Magnum.

• 56:32H. Foley?

  What, red or white?

• 56:34Speaker 02

  The blue, the red. The blue one.

• 56:36H. Foley?

  The red?

• 56:38Speaker 02

  The blue-red, what is it? A Merlot?

• 56:41H. Foley?

  It's a blend.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  I live for Merlot.

• 56:43H. Foley?

  Fucking swill.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  It's a cab or something.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  I got a fish.

• 56:48H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  I would, yeah. When the pandemic started, I was doing a Magnum bottle a night.

• 56:53H. Foley?

  Nice. It's good for you. Six years ago, still holding on to it?

• 57:00Speaker 02

  I ran over to, you know...

• 57:01Speaker 03

  They got the big, bold red.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  The sweet red roux, the jammy red roux, or the Shiraz.

• 57:08H. Foley?

  Shiraz. Shiraz, my pants. I had to drink in a bottle of that.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Jason Shiraz.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  You're drinking the Cabernet, Cabernet Merlot.

• 57:27H. Foley?

  That's a tough look right there, whatever that is.

• 57:31Speaker 03

  That's the blue label one.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  No, okay, what's the purple?

• 57:33H. Foley?

  Cabernet Punch.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  I, I think it's really purple, but I said blue to sound more...

• 57:37Speaker 03

  That's a Shiraz Cabernet.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Fuck!

• 57:46Speaker 02

  I'm a bitch!

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Goddamn.

• 57:51H. Foley?

  Man.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Good thing my dad stopped talking to me.

• 57:55H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Ah, that's funny as shit. Well... That's why I don't, that's why I do Coors Lights, or garage beers. That's why I do white, American beers. That's why I do that.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  What I'm out and about. Okay. This one's from Stinkpot McRuin.

• 58:16H. Foley?

  Hello?

• 58:17Speaker 02

  $10 homie here, never had one red. Is it garbage to punt the football after it was thrown to you?

• 58:24H. Foley?

  I know exactly what you're talking about. It's such a dickhead move, but it fucking, you, you have to do it.

• 58:32H. Foley?

  Everybody did that move.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Is it garbage to punt the football after it was thrown to you? Goddamn it, I always hated the kid that would just fucking punt it.

• 58:44H. Foley?

  It's such a fucking show-off dickhead move. Nobody ever kicked it, right?

• 58:50Speaker 02

  He said it always went flying in some crazy direction or over a fence. And it would mess up the flow of a good chat session.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  I fucking, my cousin Aiden and Michael, man, they were the king of that shit. They're like 20 years younger than me, or no, they're fucking, they're in college, roughly.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  So they're 30 years younger than you?

• 59:15H. Foley?

  Anyway, they were kids.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  I love how you're like, "Nah, they're like, you're also in college."

• 59:19H. Foley?

  They would always do that shit when they were kids, because they couldn't throw it.

• 59:22Speaker 02

  Throw it back for, like, as far as you were.

• 59:24H. Foley?

  Kick it, fucking right into the street. Fucking brutal.

• 59:28Speaker 02

  That's fucking...

• 59:29H. Foley?

  Shout out to the boys. I love yous. Oh, fuck that. Try be nuts.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  That's fucking great. That's so funny, dude.

• 59:41H. Foley?

  That's the perfect way to say that, to punt it after you've thrown it.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  Always hated the kid that would just fucking punt it.

• 59:50H. Foley?

  Oh, man, that's a fucking scorcher. Who did that?

• 59:54Speaker 02

  Uh, what was his name? Stinkpot McRuin. Oh, dude, my head hurts from that. That's so good. I can picture myself doing it in this kid Zach's backyard, I think.

• 1:00:06H. Foley?

  Your fat ass fucking whiffing on it?

• 1:00:12H. Foley?

  Some fucking deflated ball?

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  God.

• 1:00:15H. Foley?

  Fuck.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  I heard some guy was...

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Uh, on the beach, and this kid was having, he was probably 12, he was old enough to throw a football, and he was, the other kid was making fun of him. And he's like, "My bad, dude, I'm not used to throwing a foam football." And I was like...

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  Testaverde?

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Hey, Vince Papali zipping.

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  You're used to handling a small dick, though, aren't you?

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  He was one of those 12-year-olds that had glasses and a mustache, and you're like, "Yeah, something ain't right here, dude." You're like, "Yeah, the hormones are fucking zigzagging."

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  Definitely had a fucking soldering rod in his basement.

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  Not that nobody's a big... I don't know, weird computer shit.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Is that why he can't throw the football?

• 1:01:16H. Foley?

  No, that's why he's got the mustache and the glasses, because he's into that shit. He's soldering stuff down there in the basement.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  It's like a kid with a glue gun. Never trust him.

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  But it's all politics, really.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  They don't want a rod from God. All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

• 1:01:37H. Foley?

  Gang, I'm gonna tell you right now, we got that new AYG special dropping pretty soon.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's coming out, uh, September 13th. If you're an audio listener or video watcher on the old, uh, Spotify, open up, uh, do us a favor, open up YouTube and subscribe to the page so we can get... Buddy, this is a grassroots movement.

• 1:02:00H. Foley?

  Full AYG special, all are you garbage? We did it down there in Side Spud as a Tampa over the weekend. Very, very fun, very, very cool.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, we invested a lot of money into it, and we want to put it out directly to you guys and make it grow as big as possible, so, so help out the motherfucker.

• 1:02:15H. Foley?

  New tour coming soon as well?

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  Could be out right now. We don't even know. We're trying to figure it all out. But thanks for all the support. We fucking love yous, and we'll see you next week.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  See you in three days.