AYG BEST of 2025!

Are You Garbage is ending 2025 with a bang! We got all the best guests like Tim Dillon, Stavros Halkias, Dan Soder, Tom Segura, Mark Normand, Christina Pazsitzky, Big Jay Oakerson, Jordan Jensen, Ms. Pat, Chris Distefano, Yannis Pappas, Steve Gerben and more! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. I want to talk about a dinner party.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 0:22H. Foley?

  I want to talk about two things. One, if you're having a dinner party, one if you're going to a dinner party.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 0:27H. Foley?

  What do you think it's appropriate to bring to a dinner party? What does a guy like you bring?

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Uh, if I'm going, I'm usually bringing nothing. Let me tell you why.

• 0:37H. Foley?

  Here's the fucked up thing. We talked to an etiquette coach. That's the right answer.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  It is the right answer because here's the thing. I'm going to a lot of these dinners as, look, a local pig.

• 0:49H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  They're... They're bringing me...

• 0:57H. Foley?

  They have clipboards and white coats?

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. They're bringing me to the dinner party as a local curiosity. An animal, an animal you'd point out on a tour bus. Everybody gets 10 minutes sitting next to you? Yeah, for example. This is a local pig who we've brought in here and everybody kind of pets him and get the kids, take a photo.

• 1:16H. Foley?

  The yak woman canceled.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  So, so really, I'm just a curi... It's a curiosity. I'm a curiosity. So, no one wants to, the curiosity to show up with anything because here's the deal. When you go to a dinner party, I think you're there to... They, they want to do their thing.

• 1:33H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  They don't want to do a potluck.

• 1:35H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  But if I had to a raspberry cream pie from Brian Mear Farms!

• 1:39H. Foley?

  Gentlemen.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Which is great. It's a top-notch pie, Brian Mear Farms. They won't sponsor me. You've asked? I haven't asked, but we've, you know... You've plugged them enough, I'm sure. I wear their hat a lot of times. I've seen the hat.

• 1:53H. Foley?

  I've mentioned this to you before, I believe, but you ruined me with the Haagen-Dazs, uh, what is it? Raspberry cheesecake or what is it?

• 1:59Speaker 01

  White chocolate raspberry truffle.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02H. Foley?

  If I could turn back the clock on that.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  It's a great flavor.

• 2:06H. Foley?

  Delicious.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  And it allows you to feel a little festive.

• 2:09H. Foley?

  Yes, it does.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  There's something where you feel a little festive. I think in ice, you know, here's the way I look at life now. You gotta have a little treat.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  You do.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  You gotta have a little treat and it has to.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  He just said that in the kitchen. He grabbed a power bar. I need a little treat. I came out, he was.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Well, I saw it says cookie dough flavor and one gram of carb. I don't even know what these things mean anymore. One gram of this.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  I wasn't out of the bathroom yet. I just heard him talking to himself going, I could use a little treat.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  A little treat.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Oh, pick me up.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  So I think when you have the white chocolate raspberry chocolate, it's a little treat. I'm not being a gluttonous pig. I'm having a little treat.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  Yes, a little treat.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  That's the difference.

• 2:46H. Foley?

  White chocolate's good for you.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  It's a little treat.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  It's a little treat.

• 2:49H. Foley?

  Now, have you been on the other side of that where you throw a dinner party? You know, I'm sure you put out a.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  You're a great host.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  Nice, great host.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  We got to this, the infamous summer party out there.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  We had a caterer.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Tim Dillon and Steve.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  We had a caterer, so I.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, valet parking.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  We had valet parking.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  That's how classy this dirtbag can be.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  We hired this guy.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  Six bucks a car, but.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  It was a little bit.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Fuck, you whack me out.

• 3:10H. Foley?

  You charged me extra for the SUV.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  I, we hired this guy, this Italian chef from Instagram. This guy doesn't show up because I got food problems. He goes, I got a stomach problems. I have food poisoning. A chef, by the way. Hey, this scumbag. So this piece of shit in the morning of the thing goes, I can't show up. So, but then other people came and they did it. They did a great job.

• 3:29H. Foley?

  Wow, I wouldn't have known there was a hiccup on that.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Arthur and Sons.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  I remember, yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  In conjunction with this guy and they killed it.

• 3:34H. Foley?

  Killed it.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  And I think this year we're gonna do something different. Every year we did, we did traditional summer food the first year. Then we did Italian food the last year, which is like Italian. This year I'm thinking something different. I don't know what it is.

• 3:48H. Foley?

  At what point does this party get to the point where all you, all the rich people that you know are chasing Kevin and I around the yard? And we're greased up and Vaseline naked.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Cause I have to say, I mean, there was like.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Famous people, like, you know, like fame, there was like, I was talking to one guy, he's like, I'm a huge fan. We go, oh, cool. Thanks, man. Nice to meet you. And he goes, yeah, my dad owns a casino. And I was like, how the fuck? I go, he goes, yeah, I just met Tim. I go, what the fuck?

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Shout out to everyone at Ocean's Casino Resort.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm talking about? We were in the back, right, as dirtbags tend to do.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Smoking.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  We find a corner away from everybody where we can go catch a heater.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  I think I hit you up for a butt.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, you did.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  And you're a good host, you float around, you're doing it well.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  And you always come back to your roots, you find the other fat pigs in the back.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Feeny had a, Feeny brought his own cooler, a White Claw.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Feeny, you forget.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  And we're back there cranking heaters.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  You forget he's white trash until you see he's got a tattoo on his leg. And it's not a good tattoo. And you go, oh, you're a garbage part. Like, you forget how garbage he is until you see that tattoo on the leg.

• 4:50H. Foley?

  Shin tattoo is a bad look.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  So I don't know what we're gonna do this year. I thought maybe sushi, but then that sits out in the sun, not too good. That ain't good. That ain't good. So I don't know, what's a good theme this year for the food?

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 5:02H. Foley?

  Interesting.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Because, you know.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  Go all Greek?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 5:07H. Foley?

  Do some gyro.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Interesting, like a Mediterranean thing. I don't know about that. That gets real sloppy.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, that doesn't, that doesn't age as well.

• 5:15H. Foley?

  Everybody smelling like tzatziki? Nobody's making out?

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Smells like a yellow cap?

• 5:19Speaker 01

  That gets real sloppy and heinous.

• 5:22H. Foley?

  And you guys were in a single-family home?

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Yes. What? Oh, a single-family? No, no, our parents together.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Uh, yes, it was attached.

• 5:35H. Foley?

  Yeah, we were broke, so what?

• 5:39Speaker 03

  So, yes.

• 5:40H. Foley?

  No, it was, it was a standalone house, like a house, a normal house.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  It wasn't a condo or a townhouse or an apartment, it was a, uh, just your family lived in it.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Man, Gervsey's fold's under questioning.

• 5:52H. Foley?

  He does.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Well, no, I didn't know, uh, a single-family household, is that what you said? Single fam-

• 5:58H. Foley?

  A single-family home is a regular home.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Is what describes the dwelling.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  I understand that, but how would you describe a single parent?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Single-parent home.

• 6:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, a single-parent home.

• 6:09H. Foley?

  And brothers and sisters?

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Older brother.

• 6:11H. Foley?

  One older brother.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:13H. Foley?

  How far apart are you guys?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Two years.

• 6:15H. Foley?

  Two years, that's great.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  Okay, so you guys were together all through elementary school, high school, all that stuff?

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 6:20H. Foley?

  Fantastic.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  What were the, what were the sports growing up?

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Baseball.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Baseball?

• 6:24Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  There, what position?

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't make it that far. I got, I got hit by a pitch.

• 6:28H. Foley?

  To get a position?

• 6:31Speaker 02

  I missed the day they were handing out jerseys.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  I got hit with a fly ball coming out of the dugout, that was it.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, no, so I made, so I made it to kid pitch, but.

• 6:45H. Foley?

  That's like the majors.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  It was huge. And then my dad.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  That scared me. Kid pitch is, I was, I was a very nervous fat kid and I was okay with T-ball and coach pitch even. But that kid pitch.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  We didn't have coach pitch when I was a kid.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  I was playing against adults.

• 7:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, you went from T-ball right to kid pitch.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 7:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, this is the early 80s.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  No, the kid pitch, and then my dad, uh, like got me a special helmet to protect my face.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  So that like, it had this like big plastic guard on it, so I couldn't really see that well at all.

• 7:16H. Foley?

  You look like a Mandalorian out there playing?

• 7:20Speaker 03

  So, uh.

• 7:21H. Foley?

  Wait, why? Why did he, why off the joke?

• 7:24Speaker 02

  You had been hit.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  No, no, I, that was the first time that I got hit in the head, yes, I was like a bottle head with that thing on. Uh, I think it was just generally like cautious about my health and wellbeing, given like, cause I, the arthritis was when I was two.

• 7:38H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  Or, or blau syndrome, I'm saying like the actual thing.

• 7:41H. Foley?

  Gotcha. So you had that already, so they wanted to be careful with it?

• 7:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:45H. Foley?

  Gotcha. Were the kids brutal about that helmet?

• 7:48Speaker 03

  In, in school?

• 7:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, well, no, did, did they tease you about the helmet?

• 7:51Speaker 03

  No, oh, with the helmet?

• 7:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, no. Yeah.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Well, I, you know the story about like when I was in school, like no, my, everybody was nice except for like the kid with Down syndrome who was the one that picked on me.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Really?

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause I was like really short, my grown, my growth was stunted and then he, he didn't, you know.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  He wasn't the nicest to you?

• 8:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  But anyway.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Is this public school or private school?

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Public.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  Public.

• 8:18H. Foley?

  Where did you go?

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Conestoga.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  Conestoga?

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Oh, I know Conestoga, okay.

• 8:22H. Foley?

  Very nice. So, hold on. So, did you stop playing after kid pitch? Was that the end of the baseball career?

• 8:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got like two seasons in.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  You got two seasons in?

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was actually, and this is an ominous thing to say ahead of like throwing out a first pitch, but I was a decent pitcher because, because I threw so slow that it was like hard to time up.

• 8:41H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Coming in is like...

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. You're like Rookie of the Year, the floater at the end. Let him have it.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  But I was decent. I could throw a strike, yeah.

• 8:49H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Huh. Is it garbage to put ketchup on a mashed potato?

• 8:53H. Foley?

  No. No.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  I...

• 8:55Speaker 04

  Yes, it is.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm not saying it's not good.

• 8:59H. Foley?

  On a baked potato, definitely not.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  What?

• 9:02H. Foley?

  I saw my uncle do this one time.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  You're saying it's not garbage?

• 9:05Speaker 04

  It's not garbage to put it on a baked potato.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  I agree with that.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  You guys are out of your fucking minds.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  What are you talking about?

• 9:10Speaker 04

  A baked potato is an elevated form of a potato. A mashed potato... Listen, if you're getting it in a fucking steakhouse... You're getting it in a steakhouse. You know what I mean? You're fucking... Squirtin' some fucking...

• 9:20H. Foley?

  Who gets a baked potato at a steakhouse?

• 9:22Speaker 04

  You can't... It's a classic, but it's a classic.

• 9:25H. Foley?

  Double stuffed or something like that.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Twice baked.

• 9:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, twice baked.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  By the way, twice baked is the classiest potato.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  Loaded? No, once it's loaded, it's not classy.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  I'll give you that.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  It's classy when they give you a little fucking tray and there's a little thing, a little ramekin of chives, a little ramekin of butter and sour cream.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  That's class. That's a classy potato.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  I think, that to me, it's like putting it in soup. It's like too much of a liquid to put on mashed potatoes.

• 9:49H. Foley?

  Hold on, let me explain myself.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  You're creating some weird fucked up soup.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, it changes the consistency of the food.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  True, true.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Let me explain myself. Garbage, not garbage. I don't know about any of that.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  It's garbage, first of all. I do know.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  I mean, first of all, you should.

• 10:02H. Foley?

  If you take a baked potato and you slice it into like, almost like home fry pieces with the butter on it and hit it with a little ketchup, it's delicious.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  Well, what we're talking about now, though, is you've transformed the form of the potato, right? Because you've made it more of a western fry. You've kind of put it in quarters and that is fine.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  You have met...

• 10:22Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  You have met the final potato box, Foley.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  Listen, Foley.

• 10:27H. Foley?

  Gentlemen, I'm gonna ask you to both leave the room.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  Leave me and Mr. Halke a saloon.

• 10:33H. Foley?

  I slap him with a glove.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, this, I think we've said it before, but it's like the Lincoln Douglas debates for fat guys. But a baked potato, when you slice it up, and then especially if you slice it and then pop it back in to get a toast, you've essentially re-categorized it as a fry, as a western fry.

• 10:54H. Foley?

  Who said they were putting it back in?

• 10:56Speaker 04

  I'm just saying if you slice it.

• 10:57H. Foley?

  I like where your head's at though.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Don't tell, don't tell me you didn't chub up a little bit when he said that.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  But if it is served as a baked potato, we have to.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Bakedpotatoes.net, gang.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  We have to have some kind of, we have to have some kind of respect for each different form of potato.

• 11:10H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  You know, like, are you putting fucking ketchup on scalloped potatoes?

• 11:15H. Foley?

  I would. I would. On mash, though. Okay, we'll stick with, stick with the topic.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Where, hold on, hold on, let me put a, where are you where there's ketchup available and mashed potatoes at the same time? When is that on the table?

• 11:29H. Foley?

  Or at a diner?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  You're getting mashed potatoes at a diner?

• 11:32H. Foley?

  I love mashed potatoes at a diner.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  See, this is, really? This is the reason it's absolutely garbage, because mashed potatoes on their own are almost always garbage. You know, like, they're teetering on the garbage.

• 11:43H. Foley?

  Not good or trashy?

• 11:45Speaker 02

  No, you get like a whip mash at like a...

• 11:47H. Foley?

  I love, I, sometimes at a diner, I'll get a burger and get mashed instead of fried.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  That's too many carbs.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  That's so fucked up.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  That's a lot of...

• 11:53H. Foley?

  What's the difference? They're not fried, they're boiled.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  You're, you, what are you lubricating the burger down your throat? You want it to travel down your gullet easier?

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Do you dip the burger in the mashed potatoes a little bit?

• 12:03H. Foley?

  I don't know who you've been talking to.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Cause I use mashed potatoes as a, as a coat, as a adhesive for the rest of my food on the plate. You get that on the fork and then you can, you dip around and collect everything.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  But what, okay, a mashed potato, if it's ever gonna be not trash, is a, is a, is a, you know, a side to something with a protein and a vegetable, and it should come with maybe a little, see, that's the thing. If it's not gonna be trash, it does come with some kind of sauce, maybe an au jus, some other kind of dipping sauce.

• 12:36H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  But, once you take, once you take the mashed potato and you take it to its lower forms, boxed, for example, boxed, mashed, never not trash.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  No, 100%.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  It doesn't exist. Even at a fucking diner, mashed potatoes. That the se- I would even say ketchup might be the dividing line to when mashed potatoes become trash or not.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Because if it's, if it's fucked up to even conceive of asking for ketchup at a place where they have mashed potatoes, that's a classy mashed potato.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  That's the line, yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  But if, if someone would bring you ketchup without a second thought, it's trash 100%.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that waiter's not gonna go, "Sir, please, the chef does not recommend it."

• 13:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  He's gonna be like, "Here you go, you need, you want some mustard too?"

• 13:21Speaker 04

  "You want me to fucking pour mayo down your throat too? Who fucking cares?"

• 13:24Speaker 02

  "I brought you some barbecue sauce."

• 13:25H. Foley?

  Hey, Louis in the back wants to know if you want a job.

• 13:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're out of dumpsters.

• 13:33Speaker 04

  So, you know, this is good. I'm glad we went through this thought.

• 13:36H. Foley?

  Of course. Alright, I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  There was this one club that my brother would go to and he would get a bottle of vodka. And if they didn't finish it, they would cork it for you and keep it. And I found out, I would-

• 13:51Speaker 05

  What, like store credit?

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, just go, "Ah, you didn't finish it, well, like, put it in the back."

• 13:55Speaker 05

  "You mind if I come by at 12 a.m., 12 p.m. if I'm having a tough day at work?"

• 13:59Speaker 02

  You just come by with an orange, "You can top this all for me?"

• 14:01Speaker 05

  "Have a little of my coffee?"

• 14:03H. Foley?

  "Come back the next week, there's a bunch of fruit flies in there."

• 14:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, there you go. Sorry, you know what? We had a real infestation. Uh, your bottle of Grey Goose looks like a science experiment.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  I gotta have a bottle of Rumplemin's back there.

• 14:13H. Foley?

  Hey, you guys see monkeys?

• 14:14Speaker 05

  You guys got that Barton's they put back there? Are you guys detailing silverware with?

• 14:18H. Foley?

  I've never heard of that.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  What?

• 14:20H. Foley?

  They cork it?

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, they cork it. Oh, the girl must hate you when you come back.

• 14:24Speaker 05

  Oh, the size that she lets out where you go, "You know what? We're gonna get out of here."

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Dude, it's worse, it's worse than you think. So, my brother would go on Friday, and I know, I'd be like, "Oh, well, what'd you do last night?" He's like, "Oh, we went over to wherever it was, denim, reds, you know, whatever."

• 14:39Speaker 05

  Whatever their name, Perle.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. We would, he'd go, "Ah, yeah, I got a bottle of..." I'd get word that he corked a bottle.

• 14:46Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  So, I would show up the next night.

• 14:49Speaker 05

  You would eat his leftovers?

• 14:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. You put on a lot of weight since last night.

• 14:52Speaker 05

  Did they write your initials on the bottle?

• 14:54Speaker 02

  I was like, "Hey, what's up?" And I knew them. I knew, "Hey, it's Danny's brother."

• 14:57Speaker 05

  Your brother left like two-

• 14:58Speaker 02

  He's coming, he's coming by.

• 14:59Speaker 05

  Two sips. And then you would just kill it?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  I think they're too stinking shots.

• 15:03Speaker 05

  You're just drinking in like a menacing way?

• 15:05Speaker 02

  I'm at the bar.

• 15:06Speaker 05

  Your coat's still on? You're just sitting there. You go, "No, thanks, I brought a can of Coke myself."

• 15:12Speaker 02

  I got a can of Anellic.

• 15:13Speaker 05

  I don't, you go, "I don't..." I don't have to tip on this, do I?

• 15:17H. Foley?

  Can I eat here?

• 15:18Speaker 05

  Yeah. You guys, oh, thank God. There's a hoagie. You guys mind if I just pull up here at the bar?

• 15:23H. Foley?

  What's the address? I'm getting something delivered.

• 15:26Speaker 05

  That's so funny. Hey, you guys mind? Uh, Uber Eats is outside.

• 15:30H. Foley?

  Man.

• 15:30Speaker 05

  Holy shit, that's so funny.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  Food coming out in those sexy situations was always a bad luck.

• 15:35Speaker 05

  Dude, you just, you pulling up to the bar, full winter coat, with just the Arizona, with an Arizona iced tea? The green tea goes real good with cold vodka.

• 15:47H. Foley?

  It's got ginseng in it. I'm fighting off something.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  My doctor said I need more vitamins.

• 15:54Speaker 05

  This is like a, this is like a cold hot toddy. So cold toddy.

• 15:58H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Oh, man, you stay, that's great. Well, that was the end.

• 16:02Speaker 05

  I did not know clubs did that.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  I think that place might have, just because he was in there, spending money.

• 16:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, some places you can watch two men fight to the death.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Exactly. Same basement of that place. It was the basement of Pearl, you could see that.

• 16:14Speaker 05

  There's a, a lot of, a lot of things you could see, uh, behind closed doors.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Uh, no, that was, that was the end of my early twenties was the end of that, where you would get, you would dress up business casual and go to the club.

• 16:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's what I meant.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  And that's when it was like, we were in college and that's what you would do. I always felt better at a dive bar, but I had to, you know, that's what the, that's what the cool, that's where the broads are going.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  But it really is. You see your personality when you go to one of those places.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  I would just sit there on the corner and like, it's, I hate, I genuinely hated how I felt there.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  Me and my friends went to, uh, the friends, all my friends I grew up with, we went to a trip all together for my friend's 30th birthday. So I was still like 29. Everyone's 29 or 30. And we go to Miami and we went to like the Fountain Blue and...

• 16:59Speaker 02

  I, I did the same thing.

• 17:00Speaker 05

  And they were like...

• 17:01Speaker 02

  My brother's bachelor party, that's where they went.

• 17:03Speaker 05

  And they like waited in line and there were, I think, eight of us?

• 17:07Speaker 02

  You going to the pool or the club?

• 17:08Speaker 05

  Well, they're, everyone's trying to go to the club, which...

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Live.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's what it is.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  It's the best, uh, they say it's the best, uh, man, my clubbing days are really coming out.

• 17:15Speaker 05

  You really do know, you're a promoter.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  It what?

• 17:18Speaker 05

  He's like, you got two girls you can bring with, I can get you in? Um, but we all waited in line like chumps and then they were like, we can have six of you go in. And there was eight of us and I turned, I just turned to my friend Zach, who also is now sober. You know, he works the steps. Uh, I turned to him and I was like, let's just go to the hotel.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, so yeah, let's go.

• 17:37Speaker 05

  We'll just be right, we'll wait for you guys. We'll go to the hotel bar and drink and we just went and got blackout drunk while they went to the club. We just sat there drinking.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  That's all I want to do.

• 17:45Speaker 05

  Off duty cops. That's what you, that's, that's what I would rather do.

• 17:48H. Foley?

  My boys are over at the club. We're hanging here.

• 17:50Speaker 05

  I go, it's a, it's fucking dance time for the ladies. When they want to come find this.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  The broads are in here showing off.

• 17:56Speaker 05

  They want to shake their tail feather. We're going to be sitting here getting down to business. I almost, I, I, I got so drunk, I almost threw up taking a shot. That's how drunk I got.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Oh, I've done that.

• 18:06Speaker 05

  Where you take it and you go.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  I used to have a, I used to have a move. I go, get me a piece of gum. Cause the, the ad, it starts coming up. A gum cancels it out right away. And I would look at, I would look at one of my friends and go, get me a piece of gum. And they knew, they knew the pin was pulled and it was good out of the way. There's been multiple times I've been Finnegan's wake, the one that really jumps out. I took a shot and was like, nope. And I just threw up on the floor, walked out the door and just got in a cab and went home.

• 18:31H. Foley?

  Good day, gentlemen.

• 18:32Speaker 05

  God, I did, I did a similar thing at playwrights across the street from Caroline's. Was drinking with Che. I, uh, was already drunk, showed up. Che bought me, I bought a Guinness and a shot of Jameson, double shot. Took it, felt it coming back up, just casually walked away, walked downstairs, like almost threw it in, threw the throw up in the toilet. Where I was like, bam, like that. Came right back upstairs and drank my beer.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  It's like you flushed the toilet on the airplane.

• 18:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, it really was. And I go, anyways, I think the dollar's okay.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  You always had those bad, it just didn't sit well. It just didn't, it didn't go down.

• 19:04Speaker 05

  I don't know what's going on with me. You go, I know what's going on. You've had 18 drinks tonight.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Dude, I've ordered shit.

• 19:09H. Foley?

  Down the wrong pipe, down the wrong pipe. Gang, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 19:12H. Foley?

  As you know, the holiday season can be tough mentally. A lot of stuff going on. You get tired. You don't get a lot of sleep. Things could start popping up. And listen, whether you got big or small things going on, take your mental health journey seriously and start with BetterHelp. Kevin and I are both in talk therapy and we started with BetterHelp and they're absolutely fantastic.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Yes. This is a time of year, listen, everybody knows the traditional ones.

• 19:34H. Foley?

  It's screwballs.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  It's dark out, it's tough, this, that, the other thing, money stresses, the whole nine yards. Also, you're spending a lot of time with your family. Maybe that ain't great. Also, maybe you're not spending a lot of time with your family, and that ain't great. Either way, talk therapy is a fantastic tool to help you through the hard times. It's not, you don't gotta sign up and do it forever.

• 19:55H. Foley?

  Nope.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Just get involved, use it as a crutch, as a tool to get through. Share your family traditions for the holiday, or one that you like to create. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Forget the other people, take care of you.

• 20:08H. Foley?

  Put your mask on first.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Our listeners, yes, our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com/garbage. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 20:18H. Foley?

  Kevin's talking about Rocket Money.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Rocket Money!

• 20:20H. Foley?

  Rocket Money, baby. When you want to cancel subscriptions, you make it easy with Rocket Money. A lot of people have subscriptions they don't know about, and they're getting banged out every month.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  I've been one of them guys.

• 20:31H. Foley?

  Sucker. That's why you go to Rocket Money, eliminate those subscriptions right away.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Yes, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills, so you can grow your savings. That's very important. I was looking at the wrong camera. Grow your savings, baby. A lot of people think, hey, how can I make more money? It's not necessarily, the easiest thing to do is stop spending money. It's hard to make more money, it's easier to spend more, it's easier to stop spending money, and Rocket Money helps you do that. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join rocketmoney.com/garbage. I use it, and I've recently, using all the app's features is my favorite thing. You sign up, it tracks you, hey, you got these upcoming charges, you got, here's all your monthly charges. You can sign up your PayPal, your credit cards, your bank statement, all that stuff.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  It goes, here's everything that hits monthly. Let us know, we'll clear out what you don't want. You go, great. Bing, pal, get him out of here. Next thing it does, coming up this week, goes, hey, you got these charges hitting this week. Make sure your checking account's covered.

• 21:34H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Don't get caught with your pants down.

• 21:36H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  Boom, you got that fantastic feature. Then it also got, hey.

• 21:41H. Foley?

  It's about me.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  No, then you got, hey, next week, you got, you know, hey, you spent this much more last week, or this much less last week. It keeps you track. It sends you the emails. You go, cool, I'm on top of it. I'm increasing my savings. That's rocketmoney.com/garbage. Rocketmoney.com/garbage. Do it.

• 21:56H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Were you stealing? I feel like you were stealing.

• 21:59Speaker 06

  I did start stealing.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I could tell.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  Were you setting things on fire a lot, huh?

• 22:03Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 22:03H. Foley?

  Did you like to burn frogs, Christina?

• 22:06Speaker 06

  I loved fire, and my dad would go to sleep, and I would just play with the fire.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  And I watched the flames dance.

• 22:12H. Foley?

  Where?

• 22:14Speaker 06

  In his house, like we would have-

• 22:14H. Foley?

  The fireplace?

• 22:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, we had a fireplace and he'd go to sleep and I would just stay up and like throw shit in the fire.

• 22:19H. Foley?

  I would have sent you away if I came down in the middle of the night. You were sitting there worshiping fire? No, thank you. Any vacations? Would you guys go anywhere?

• 22:29Speaker 06

  Yes, so that's a cool part of my parents is I would say because they were Europeans that we traveled very extensively and I-

• 22:37H. Foley?

  Really?

• 22:38Speaker 06

  Got a really nice education, like, like, now that I think about it, okay, so my dad would take me to Club Med with him.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  That's not-

• 22:47Speaker 02

  That's not-

• 22:47H. Foley?

  That's not educational.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  It's an education in swinging, that's what that is. That's one step below hedonism. It's crazy.

• 22:55Speaker 06

  I know, and I didn't realize it until later.

• 23:00H. Foley?

  Never do shots before dinner, okay?

• 23:02Speaker 06

  That's what he would tell me.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:03Speaker 06

  He's like, "Always eat before you drink. This way you can drink without throwing up." And I was like, "Okay, Dad."

• 23:08H. Foley?

  These broads will never know what hit them. Wait, hold on, would you-

• 23:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:14H. Foley?

  Did you ever go back to Europe as a vacation?

• 23:16Speaker 06

  Later.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  I thought you were like, "Yeah, I was well-traveled. We did Key West."

• 23:21Speaker 06

  Hedonism.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  A couple Carnival cruises.

• 23:23Speaker 06

  Uh, Martinique. No, so, so we did go to Club Meds in like Mexico every s- I go to Mexico a lot every summer with my dad.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Close, yeah.

• 23:30H. Foley?

  He probably loved it. For some reason, I love that he was living like that.

• 23:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:34H. Foley?

  Going through all that shit. Think of how much he appreciated that.

• 23:37Speaker 06

  He had so-

• 23:37H. Foley?

  Tight little bathing suit, bunch of hot broads down at Club Med. Man, hairy ass chest ice suit.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  I mean, meanwhile, she's like fending for, so you're like, "This dude's crushing ice. He's traveling." Meanwhile, she's like-

• 23:49H. Foley?

  You're trapped in the ice machine at a hotel?

• 23:51Speaker 02

  She has a pyromania problem developing. She's stealing, she's clearly acting out-

• 23:56H. Foley?

  He's living his life!

• 23:58Speaker 02

  The Indian guy, who knows where he is?

• 23:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 24:00H. Foley?

  Your dad took you to Club Med?

• 24:02Speaker 06

  Which, so I did research it. It did start off as a French- A sex resort, essentially.

• 24:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:09Speaker 06

  And I didn't realize that. I just thought it was like this fun place.

• 24:11H. Foley?

  It wasn't a Dave and Buster's, I can tell you that.

• 24:14Speaker 06

  Like French, it was all in French and I got to hang out with other like, like European.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:19H. Foley?

  Other fucked up kids.

• 24:20Speaker 06

  Fucked up kids. And we'd run around the village, so they called them the village. And I, I don't know how, by the grace of God, like I did not get kidnapped or abducted, molested. So like, I don't, I think I was like, my mother was so vigilant about like, you don't talk to anybody. Everybody's out to get you. So I was very like, I don't know, it was dirty, you know?

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Well, that's, I mean, when you have to learn to fend for yourself, it's like, you grow up, you have your heads on a swivel of like.

• 24:46Speaker 06

  Uh, hypervigilance is what my therapist, did you guys have that too? Uh, you guys as traumatized as me?

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:54H. Foley?

  But for different shit.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  I mean, I wasn't at Club Med with my dad, but you know.

• 24:56H. Foley?

  Yeah, it was more psychological.

• 24:58Speaker 06

  Oh, okay, yeah. Well, it gets worse. So then he would take me to bars and nightclubs with him in the States when I'm in third grade. Like on school nights, yeah.

• 25:05H. Foley?

  Holy shit. School, wait, school nights?

• 25:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  This guy cares about an American education system? You're nuts.

• 25:11H. Foley?

  How were your grades? Were you a good student?

• 25:14Speaker 06

  No. How can you be when you're in a...

• 25:16Speaker 02

  There's no home, there's no, you know, he's not like, did you do your homework Christina? You know what I mean?

• 25:20Speaker 06

  I don't even know what that is. Are you crazy?

• 25:25Speaker 06

  We, uh, we would go to this bar in the valley called The Beef and Barrel.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  That's a good name. I would like to spend some time at the B- Were you like the bar kid where everybody's, oh Christina, here she is? And they go over, they go, here, put the, give you like $2. I save this for you, go buy yourself candy.

• 25:41Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, you're stealing their wallet.

• 25:43H. Foley?

  What would a typical dinner be at a bar like that? Some mozzarella sticks, some chicken fingers?

• 25:47Speaker 06

  Oh, and, and gosh, yes. And I think that those years really set me up to be a great, like to be a stand-up comedian, like to enjoy that, that dinginess of that nightclub.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  It's like, I walk into a dive bar and it's like, I can tell right away if the, if the Coke's good, not the, not the drugs.

• 26:03Speaker 06

  Did you grow up in bars too?

• 26:04Speaker 02

  Grew up in hanging out in bars, eating chicken fingers at the bar, playing the photo hunt. My dad, I mean, my whole family's alcoholic. So am I. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just who we are.

• 26:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Just Irish construction, drunk construction workers.

• 26:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, I just, I stopped drinking alcohol after I, like 60 days ago. It's horrible. But anyway, the point is, uh, okay, Beef and Barrel. I have the best memories of it though, because it was the 80s. And the music was amazing. So everybody's like, the 80s were the best. I'm like, yes, they were. It was Duran Duran. It was Lionel Richie. It was Frankie Goes to Hollywood. It was, you know, and I'm, and I have this great memory of dancing with sailors. There were sailors in their outfits.

• 26:44H. Foley?

  What? Wait, in 3rd grade?

• 26:46Speaker 06

  3rd grade. They had just come off whatever break and they were on the dance floor with me. And I, they were like, I'm this novelty. I'm this little girl.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, oh, it's fun. We're dancing. We, you know, we're having a good time. Yeah.

• 26:56Speaker 06

  So fun. And at one point, it's a-

• 26:58Speaker 02

  It's like a wedding.

• 26:58Speaker 06

  It was so, yeah, exactly. It was Moany Moany. You know that song by Billy Idol?

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 06

  And sailors, yeah, they, there's a, a thing where they go, "Hey, motherfucker, get laid, get fucked." Like you sing it in between. I remember being like, "What's this new poem?" And I remember chanting it with them. "Hey, motherfucker, get laid, get fucked." And I was like, "My life couldn't get any better."

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 06

  Like, "This is amazing, dude." And then I go to school the next day. I went to a nice Lutheran school and like, how do you explain to other kids that you just-

• 27:30Speaker 02

  What you're doing.

• 27:31Speaker 06

  Chanted with sailors?

• 27:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, they were home watching the A-Team last night.

• 27:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I'm like, "You guys fucking dorks."

• 27:37H. Foley?

  So you weren't good in school. What was the sports situation? Did you, did you play?

• 27:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, I played sports growing up. Uh, base, you know, baseball was probably the most consistent. Uh, played till I was 13. And then, uh, after, like, after about that, I played basketball, but I got cut every year from my high school basketball team. So-

• 27:57Speaker 02

  It's got tenacity though. It keeps going back.

• 27:58Speaker 07

  I keep going back. I played for my church.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Church had a basketball team?

• 28:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, church had a basketball team. Yeah, there's, church basketball was like kind of a thing.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  Oh, I know what you mean, like CYO league. That's what we'd have in our area. Catholic youth league, okay.

• 28:13Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Ours was Nashville Baptist Association.

• 28:16H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 28:17Speaker 07

  The NBA.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 28:20Speaker 07

  We, yeah, I played church. I was graded in church basketball.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  You were good on that team?

• 28:26Speaker 07

  Yeah. I should have made the team at some point in my high school, I think, at least one year. I should have got thrown a bone. First year, uh, my dad was the assistant coach. Still did not make it.

• 28:36H. Foley?

  Jesus!

• 28:37Speaker 07

  He cut me.

• 28:38H. Foley?

  That's a cutthroat clown right there.

• 28:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:41H. Foley?

  You don't mess around. Cut your dad, cut you.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 28:45Speaker 07

  And then after, so then after that, the coaches kept the tradition and then cut me the rest of the...

• 28:49H. Foley?

  So you would go home after school and then he would come home a couple hours later from basketball practice?

• 28:53Speaker 02

  He's got a big trophy.

• 28:54Speaker 07

  He's got a big trophy. Yeah, yeah. Here's what, you know, fun little thing though, I'll tell you.

• 29:02Speaker 07

  I gave my, because my high school's my only alumni. So I gave my high school money and my name is on the court now.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 29:09Speaker 07

  Are you kidding me?

• 29:10Speaker 02

  That's a baller move.

• 29:13Speaker 07

  So we're, we're in there.

• 29:15H. Foley?

  Is it, wait, is it the Nate Bargatze basketball court? So over at Bargatze Court?

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Wait, we've had a lot of, we've had a lot of people coming in to do a lot of cool things. That might be the coolest thing I've heard.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  And how big, how small of a town are we talking? What did you graduate with? How many kids?

• 29:30Speaker 07

  So I went, I graduated 56.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  What?

• 29:33Speaker 07

  And it's a very small...

• 29:34Speaker 02

  And you didn't make the basketball team?

• 29:37Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Half of them are girls.

• 29:44H. Foley?

  More than half statistically.

• 29:46Speaker 07

  Yeah, but they were good. They were good.

• 29:51Speaker 07

  That makes it sound worse.

• 29:53H. Foley?

  Sky hooks all day.

• 29:54Speaker 07

  I never thought about how bad it was.

• 29:56H. Foley?

  Man!

• 29:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's tough, man.

• 30:00H. Foley?

  56? I thought you were gonna say a couple hundred. 56? Man, that is vicious. Are you double teeing?

• 30:10Speaker 02

  That's a together. That's one, that's one tee, which is very trashy.

• 30:13H. Foley?

  You have a Dicky tee on?

• 30:14Speaker 02

  That might be the trashiest thing you do.

• 30:16H. Foley?

  What the hell?

• 30:17Speaker 02

  That's for kids, dude.

• 30:20Speaker 08

  Is that reversible too? It can be, yeah.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  Listen, I saw, I clocked that the second he walked in.

• 30:26Speaker 08

  You did, you were like...

• 30:26Speaker 02

  And I was like, no way am I bringing that up. You got some balls chubby, that's the goddamn balls.

• 30:31Speaker 08

  What time are school pictures, huh?

• 30:34Speaker 02

  I apologize for his trans...

• 30:36Speaker 08

  It's super trashy, right? It's probably an expensive shirt though. It's so expensive.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  These rich guys don't know what the fuck they're doing.

• 30:44Speaker 08

  How much was that shirt? I don't remember, I really don't. Couple hundred? Yeah, probably a few hundred bucks. No shit? Yeah, yeah. Now what are you doing these days that you're all slimmed out? Are you, do you have a stylist?

• 30:54Speaker 02

  You're who I wanna be, I look at you and I go...

• 30:56Speaker 08

  You are not!

• 30:57Speaker 02

  I know, trust me, I know, but I go, you went bald quite well, you got the good facial hair, you trimmed up. That's what I'm trying to do. But I'm leaning more towards this way.

• 31:07Speaker 08

  I have been farting so much. What, here? Well, no, I went in there just to fart. Gentlemen.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  That's disrespectful.

• 31:12Speaker 08

  It was like a 15 second fart though. Okay. I think it's all the protein bars I'm eating. They really let you rip asses. These goddamn bar bills will get ya. I'm just, I'm fucking turning down things I wanna eat, that's it dude, that's the only way I can...

• 31:25Speaker 02

  That's how you do it.

• 31:26Speaker 08

  Dude, that's, and here's the thing, and it's not great, it's just, like, I think I still live with hope. Do you do that? Where like, you'll be like, oh, I'll look like this one day, and I...

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, you're, dude, you're my goal.

• 31:39Speaker 08

  Yeah, you're in there, what do you mean? It's not a great goal. Are you not where you wanna be?

• 31:44Speaker 02

  From my side of the fence.

• 31:45Speaker 08

  What?

• 31:46Speaker 02

  What, you wanna disappear?

• 31:47Speaker 08

  No, I think, but I mean, you kinda wanna like...

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Tighten up.

• 31:50Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  You're a really tight guy. How old are ya?

• 31:53Speaker 08

  I just turned 46.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  46.

• 31:55Speaker 08

  No kidding? Yeah, most people, by the way, I did, I remember this from just like a couple of weeks ago, I did MSG.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:03Speaker 08

  And Jimmy Miller, who I work with as a manager. Of course. Comes over, we have a dinner afterwards, and this is so funny to me, but he's like, he goes, I was, you know, he's like, congratulations, big night, your MSG is a huge deal. He goes, guess when the Beastie Boys first did MSG? And I was like, oh, that's good trivia. I was like, uh, I don't know, and he's like, well, tell you a guess. I was like, 90?

• 32:28Speaker 02

  It's probably 2006 or something.

• 32:29Speaker 08

  No, 84. Whoa. 84, and then he goes, then the next thing he goes, and so he goes, so you're 52? And I go, what? He goes, you're 52? Like that, like you're 52? And I go, I'm 45. Uh huh. He goes, oh. Okay.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Forget I brought it up.

• 32:49Speaker 08

  He's like, just so you were like five years old. Like, wait a minute, how, why'd you think I was 52? He's like, I just looked at you. I was like, everybody always has it. Since I was 17, has been like, when I was 17, I didn't have to get a fake ID. I had a fake ID, but I would walk in, they'd be like, what do you want?

• 33:04H. Foley?

  Just like this?

• 33:05Speaker 08

  I looked like this. People were like, 27? I'm like, I'm 17 years old. And it's never changed.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  Well, you carry yourself with the vibe sometimes of a guy who's over it.

• 33:14Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Like you're 55.

• 33:17Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah. That's what I get a lot.

• 33:18H. Foley?

  I'm 49, and I always thought you were older than me.

• 33:21Speaker 08

  You, and I would 100% guess that you're younger than me. Like, I would be-

• 33:24H. Foley?

  Really?

• 33:25Speaker 08

  I would never assume that you're older than me.

• 33:27H. Foley?

  Huh. You carry yourself in a fatherly, man's man type of way.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Psycho.

• 33:32Speaker 08

  It's a double T kind of way.

• 33:35H. Foley?

  Mine is the double T.

• 33:36Speaker 08

  It's the double T.

• 33:36H. Foley?

  You have a nice jacket out there covering the double T.

• 33:39Speaker 08

  I did have a jacket on, that's right.

• 33:40H. Foley?

  You look sharp in your jackets.

• 33:42Speaker 08

  Thanks, man. Thank you.

• 33:43H. Foley?

  Not that you don't look sharp now.

• 33:44Speaker 08

  No, I appreciate it, man.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  I don't know why you think you're offended. You look sharp. Not that you know I would like to disrespect you after I made fun of your little boy t-shirt.

• 33:57H. Foley?

  Hey, you got your hall pass on you?

• 34:00Speaker 08

  I should, I should. I should have a hall pass.

• 34:03H. Foley?

  I hear the sex is better than ever.

• 34:05Speaker 09

  Well, the sex is better than ever because Yanni, my wife, lost the weight. Yanni's weighing in at 196 now. It's the first time I see my lady-

• 34:11Speaker 08

  Cute kid.

• 34:12Speaker 09

  First time I see my lady under 200 pounds.

• 34:14H. Foley?

  Yanni, you did come in really first day of school in it. You got the new boots on.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a guy who's wife dressed him. He, put on your boots. He's got his brand new car boots on. Hey, never seen me outside.

• 34:26Speaker 08

  You know what I, you know what I really, um, I really don't like now about this era? Is every person asks me, are you doing something?

• 34:34Speaker 09

  Ozempic.

• 34:35Speaker 08

  It's just everyone-

• 34:36Speaker 02

  What are you on? You doing it?

• 34:38Speaker 08

  Naturally. It's like-

• 34:39Speaker 09

  Yeah, and then you say, no, I'm just on repressed childhood memories. That's what I'm eating.

• 34:44Speaker 08

  I just, it's all, it's called depression.

• 34:46Speaker 09

  It's called depression.

• 34:47H. Foley?

  They don't know the value of an old weight bench in the garage.

• 34:50Speaker 09

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:50H. Foley?

  Cranking it out to some blue oyster colt.

• 34:53Speaker 08

  No, you know, the problem is my, the ceiling in my garage is too low, so I can't get a treadmill or I'd go through the cheat rock.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  I don't think that's a garage.

• 35:00Speaker 09

  I was gonna say, what is it for a tricycle?

• 35:03Speaker 10

  It's only for convertibles? Yeah. Unfortunately, my garage is a little bit of a problem. It's got low ceilings.

• 35:08Speaker 09

  Why don't you get a lift for the garage? Why don't we raise the ceiling a little bit?

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Raise the roof.

• 35:11Speaker 10

  Wait, hold on. That doesn't make any sense. How do you get the car in there? The car, when I pop the hood, I have to control the pop. So it doesn't hit the, I gotta open it by hand. What?

• 35:20Speaker 09

  So if you had, but, so if you had like an SUV, you can't get one in there?

• 35:25Speaker 10

  You can't get one in there. Is it a drop ceiling? It's a, no, it's not even a drop ceiling. It's just when they built it, it was just, I guess it was built for Chinese.

• 35:31Speaker 09

  Right. Is it connected to the house or a detached garage?

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Standalone.

• 35:36Speaker 10

  It's underneath.

• 35:37Speaker 09

  It's underneath, okay, yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Oh, you're on a hill.

• 35:39Speaker 09

  I'm not interested in it.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  He's on a hill, that's what matters. He's on a hill.

• 35:41Speaker 10

  Kid's on a hill.

• 35:42Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 35:43Speaker 10

  That's a kid who should have been in construction.

• 35:45Speaker 09

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 10

  Wait, hold on. It's underneath, it's underneath the house? It's underneath the house. Underneath the floor of the house.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. So you go down his driveway?

• 35:52Speaker 10

  Yeah. Oh, you have one of those? We got a nice clean coat of white that's covering up the, all the imperfections. So it looks like a finished garage. Wait, you have a driveway that goes down? The driveway goes down the hill. Whoa. Yeah, down the hill. That's very old school Queens Brooklyn.

• 36:06Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 36:07Speaker 10

  That's where they killed Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

• 36:08Speaker 09

  Yeah, right there. Throw him down.

• 36:10Speaker 10

  Yeah.

• 36:10Speaker 09

  Yeah, I just, I'm not interested in a house. For me, the garage-

• 36:14Speaker 02

  You're renting again.

• 36:15Speaker 09

  I'm renting again.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  This kid's all, he calls me, I buy a house, we start talking, he goes, "How's the house going?" I go, "Great." "Best decision you could ever make." Next text right away, he goes, "I sold my house. I'm going back to an apartment."

• 36:24Speaker 10

  Christie's got two roommates again.

• 36:26Speaker 09

  I said, "Listen, the mortgage rates are the lowest they've ever been in history. I bought during that time."

• 36:31Speaker 10

  Sure.

• 36:32Speaker 09

  I said, "Let me wait till they triple, then I'm gonna sell."

• 36:34Speaker 10

  And you did.

• 36:35Speaker 09

  And that's what I did. And that's what I did because I like a little bit of the chaos and it's a, and it's a regrettable decision. But I will tell you this, is I've looked, I've been trying to look at a couple of houses again, and I'm just list, anyone on Zillow, anyone listening to me, any real estate agents that I may or may not hire, because I'm always firing them and hiring them. I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house, because that's where I put the gym. I don't pull my car into the garage. I put my gym equipment in the garage and I leave the car outside the garage, and I just wipe the fucking snow off like an American.

• 37:05Speaker 10

  Yeah, that's actually, that's an American way to do it.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:08Speaker 10

  Did you, you made a few bucks on the house, the Staten Island house?

• 37:11Speaker 09

  I made a few bucks on the house, but I-

• 37:12Speaker 10

  If you consider breaking even, making a few bucks.

• 37:15Speaker 09

  Well, I was gonna say, if you consider making a few bucks-

• 37:18H. Foley?

  Which I do!

• 37:20Speaker 09

  Right, if you consider making a few bucks, meaning $4, then yes, that's- Because I completely renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms, and then your baby, I sold it a month later.

• 37:30H. Foley?

  You never got into, when you were gonna make the pool all one level.

• 37:34Speaker 09

  No, I did do that as well. Yes, and then-

• 37:36H. Foley?

  You never know, he turned his pool into a coin pond.

• 37:38Speaker 09

  He spent a couple coins on renovating it for the nice family that bought it. And then the beautiful Palestinian family that bought it, they are enjoying a nice new home. That's good, you're a good guy now. Well, that's what I said. I said, you know, that's the one way I'm helping with the war here. You know, is I gave the Palestinians a home on Staten Island, and then, but I also, you know, I got-

• 37:58H. Foley?

  With a two-foot pool.

• 37:59Speaker 09

  Yeah, I gave the Palestinians my house, and I gave my Jewish accountant the money. There you go. For the transaction, so I help both sides.

• 38:05Speaker 10

  And that's why we've been on the horn with Netanyahu, trying to figure out how to get it back.

• 38:08Speaker 09

  Yes. Yes.

• 38:10H. Foley?

  Netanyahu.

• 38:11Speaker 09

  Netanyahu. You just said that like AI.

• 38:13H. Foley?

  He made it sound like he's an Apache.

• 38:15Speaker 09

  Yeah, and I don't know why his face isn't on chocolate drink bottles, and they're calling him Netanyahu's. I don't know why they're not doing that, because every time I hear that guy's name, it makes me think of a fucking Yoohoo, and I think they should combine the marketing.

• 38:25H. Foley?

  Yeah. Kim, let's talk about Chime.

• 38:27Speaker 02

  Chime!

• 38:28H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 38:31H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 38:33H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, "Hey, I wish I had Chime."

• 38:47Speaker 02

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is, then you got these big corporate banks-

• 38:58H. Foley?

  Amen.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  -coming after ya.

• 39:00H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it, oh, $5 for this, $10 for that, they got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage, that's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 39:42H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 39:43Speaker 11

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 39:56Speaker 12

  Hey Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In-flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 40:21H. Foley?

  Hey gang, check out this short clip from the Route 66 Tour on our YouTube page. I'm not even lying, I just shit my pants.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  What happened at the garage? Hey, how are you? You guys have a bathroom?

• 40:33H. Foley?

  You saw that, huh?

• 40:34Speaker 02

  I'm curious as to what do you want to get out from this thing?

• 40:37H. Foley?

  These are dangerous, guys.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  Are those the shorts you were wearing?

• 40:42H. Foley?

  Unfortunately, they are.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  Dude, that's fucking disgusting.

• 40:48H. Foley?

  Hang on.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Unless you were wearing plastic underwear, which I do not think you were.

• 40:54H. Foley?

  It didn't go through.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  No, dude, that's insane.

• 40:57H. Foley?

  I'm telling you, it did not get to the outer layer, what you may know as the upper atmosphere. It stayed within the molten core of the Butchy Hump. The underwear, on the other hand,

• 41:09H. Foley?

  didn't make it. Thank you. You're welcome. I appreciate your hospitality.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  I've seen you go to the bathroom a lot. I've never seen you walk out with evidence.

• 41:28H. Foley?

  There's an old street joke of a guy's trapped on a desert island with Cindy Crawford, and they have sex for like two years. It's awesome. And then finally, at like the end of two years, she's like, you know, we've done everything. What do you want me to do now? And he goes, hey, put this mustache on. She puts the mustache on, he goes, guess who I'm fucking?

• 41:46Speaker 02

  I never heard that one. That's pretty good. We saw Cindy Crawford.

• 41:48H. Foley?

  Go ahead, you guys used that. Oh yeah, we saw Cindy.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  We ruined her dinner.

• 41:51H. Foley?

  Ruined her meal.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  We ruined her dinner in LA. What, Foley eat it?

• 41:56H. Foley?

  Skinny broad, you're not gonna finish that.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Breadstick's got my name on it.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  What happened? I mean, she was the one. And you know what's so funny? I'm such an idiot. And we had been drinking. We were like day drinking, then we went out to dinner. Luke's a cool young guy. He picked a cool young spot.

• 42:12H. Foley?

  Where we at? Frankie and Johnny's?

• 42:13Speaker 02

  Marvin's.

• 42:14H. Foley?

  Marvin's.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Out there. And, uh...

• 42:16H. Foley?

  La La Land. Hollywood, goddamn Hollywood.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Hollywood, you gotta show face a little bit, you know what I mean? Tinseltown. And, uh, I was pretty fucked up. And they were sitting right behind us. We were like bumping. And it was just a bad scene. Like, we were like, you know...

• 42:26H. Foley?

  Was her, her daughter, her husband, and Austin Butler?

• 42:30Speaker 02

  So her husband also owns Casamigos. Uh, I did not know that. Her, yeah. Her daughter is also a famous supermodel. Kaia Gerber. Kaia Gerber. Pete Davidson. Yeah.

• 42:40H. Foley?

  Really?

• 42:41Speaker 02

  They were, they had a little fling.

• 42:42H. Foley?

  Man.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  A tryst.

• 42:43H. Foley?

  I'd love him.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, I wanna smell that hog.

• 42:46H. Foley?

  God, love him.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  That's alright. Yeah.

• 42:49H. Foley?

  I got a thing with Gerber, too.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  He's hot, too. He doesn't like him.

• 42:52H. Foley?

  Nah, I like...

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Oh, shit! This might ruin, we might not be able to get a table at Marvin's ever again. What? You start talking shit. What's wrong? You prefer burger?

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Randy Burger. Wait, what's up with you and, uh, Gerber?

• 43:08H. Foley?

  Nothing. I don't even know the guy.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  He just doesn't like the advertisements, and he doesn't like that he's that close to George Clooney.

• 43:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  He wants to be friends with Clooney. We all do.

• 43:16H. Foley?

  Cause the Casamigos got started, they were so rich and so cool, that it turns, they bought vacation homes in Mexico, and they kept saying they couldn't find a smooth tequila in Mexico. What are we talking about?

• 43:31Speaker 02

  That's hilarious.

• 43:32H. Foley?

  That's like not being able to find fucking Coke in Colombia. What are you, lying? Wait. You got a bad hookup.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Is he the guy on the ad?

• 43:38H. Foley?

  He's the guy on the motorcycle.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  He's the other guy.

• 43:41H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Always wonder who that fuck...

• 43:43H. Foley?

  He's a huge restaurateur.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  He's a hunk, too.

• 43:46H. Foley?

  A hunk. He kicked the shit out of me, too. But they, they came up with Casamigos just for their friends.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Wow. It's for friends.

• 43:55H. Foley?

  And then they, the, the story is that they made a big order and the order was so big that they had to like get a license if they were making that big of an order in bottles, like they ordered like a thousand bottles. So they were like, oh, let's just sell it to the public. It's fucking billion dollars they sold it for.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  A billion. I heard he gave fourteen friends a million each.

• 44:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  That's not too shabby.

• 44:16H. Foley?

  Not too shabby. Don't get any ideas.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  What?

• 44:20H. Foley?

  Giving out a million dollars.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  I'm a poor Osos, man. Just poor.

• 44:23H. Foley?

  Gentlemen.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  We, uh, but I, I saw Cindy, I walked back from the bathroom, pretty fucked up and like I see her and I literally in my head, I went, that's a good looking older broad. That's all she read. At one point I was like in love with her. She was the hottest girl in the world. And that's how stupid I was. I was like, ah, that's a pretty good looking older broad. That's what she registered as. She's gorgeous. Still looking good. Hanging in there. Real good.

• 44:41H. Foley?

  Yeah, we ruined their dinner. Fucking laughing, talking.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  Oh, man. Ah, yeah, one other bottle. Ah, just like, you know. It was like. I will say, Casamigos not the best tequila.

• 44:53H. Foley?

  Mm-mm. That's like a weird taste to it.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Weird taste. Got the vanilla taste and the hangover is brutal.

• 44:58H. Foley?

  And everybody uses it. That's the fucking, that's the go-to now.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  They got in as the tequila.

• 45:03H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Somehow.

• 45:05H. Foley?

  Crazy.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:06H. Foley?

  I like a Don Julio fucking, uh, nineteen forty-two.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  I'm a Decker Cat man myself. Just saying, we got a lot of shelves back there. Hey, oh, you got the old bottle. That's a vintage. Well, give me a new one. You got it, fatty. I'll send it right over. Charge me for it. Oh, shit, yeah. I thought that was understood.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  Shipping in hand. How you gonna start it? How you gonna start the car?

• 45:29H. Foley?

  The wholesale prices.

• 45:31Speaker 13

  This is good garbage. Uh, I went to, uh, Becky Young's wedding.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Down in Florida, right?

• 45:38Speaker 13

  Yeah, yeah. And I've lost weight and I.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  You look great, buddy.

• 45:42Speaker 13

  Thank you, man. And I know, I know that so I told, uh, Christine was meeting me down there and I go, hey, can you just bring like one of my black pairs of dress pants and.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  That's bad.

• 45:53Speaker 13

  And black shirt.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  That's real bad if you don't know the wardrobe.

• 45:56Speaker 13

  Well, they're all the same size. It doesn't matter. I was like, I was like, and they're gonna be a little big on me. So I was like, you know, make sure you bring a belt. I got a belt. That's even sweeter. People are complimenting you. It's baggy, huh? Sure. Yeah. Uh, except, I was even thinking to myself, and I go, maybe this is a tuck the shirt in situation. That's what you're thinking. Maybe. Has that's been a while for you? When was the last time you tucked the shirt in? Quite some time. It's been quite some time. Fifteen, twenty years? It's been a long time. I mean, where I've, yeah, my wedding. That's pretty good, though. Yeah, yeah, so that's, it's a long time ago. But, uh, so I was like, maybe I'll tuck my shirt in. And then when I'm putting the clothes on, first thing I put the, uh, I was gonna pull the pants up, where the shirt already looks hilarious on me. It's so wide is what looks so funny on it. So it's like,

• 46:41Speaker 13

  it looks like I'm wearing my dad's shirt. Sure. And then, uh, I go to put the pants on, and when I, I mean, when I pull them up, they're not touching my body at all. Yeah. Whoa. And I was like, shit. I was like, well, thank God I have a belt. And I go put the belt on, it's suspender pants. Ah, there's no loops? There's no loops. I'm finding this out thirty minutes before we're supposed to be at wedding. Did you have suspenders on you? Nope. Why would you? What I had was- What, is it a carrot top? Robin Williams? What I had was- Are you doing your Gallagher bits anymore?

• 47:12Speaker 13

  What I had was, that belt, that then became, I wore it, I left the shirt untucked. Okay. And I put the belt around the pants like, uh, like a hillbilly with a rope keeping up his jeans. And then flipped them over? Yeah. Whoa. And then had to go, and everyone's going, hey, man, why aren't you dancing? Like, I can't dance. Jay, we know you love to dance. Why are you not out there on the dance floor? I have a song in my heart, I love to move my body, but I can't tonight. They would've fell. I'm only doing slow dances. Every time I moved around, I felt like it was starting to like come through, like the, it's like, pull it back up. You got your heart-shaped boxers on. He was like, why aren't you dancing? I don't wanna dance. It's stupid. Just sitting there with your jacket still on, that's my move. So, that's a lot of weight loss. Have you, I mean, those fit, right? Yeah, yeah.

• 47:57Speaker 13

  Those are new? Yeah, thirty-six. Get the fuck outta here. What size shirt you doing? XL? Tuat? What do you say? XL, yeah, yeah, XL, T I could do. Thirty-six? Goddamn fucking supermodel. It's under the belly still. Yeah, right. That's alright. That's okay. Who do you think I am, Matt Damon or something? It's not even a great example. Matt Damon's chubby. I wish I could get that on Matt Damon's size. We bought a zoo, Matt Damon?

• 48:25Speaker 02

  I ever tell you that I had surgery?

• 48:27H. Foley?

  I'm no Vincent D'Onofrio.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  You'll appreciate this, I had surgery?

• 48:32Speaker 13

  My like middle range bodies, he goes, what am I, fucking Michael Rappaport over here? Thinking I'm gonna fucking buy an extra large shirt.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  I had surgery on my arm and my, and my hand and I couldn't button my, my, they were jean shorts. I vividly remember it was September, I wore jean shorts to the hospital.

• 48:50Speaker 13

  Nice.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  So I had to wear, I should have worn like basketball.

• 48:52H. Foley?

  Go in the way you wanna go out. Slide you right into the casket if it don't work out.

• 48:57Speaker 13

  We have Sabu from ECW coming on skanks tonight. And I was, I watched, so I watched a documentary about ECW. Again, I've watched it a long time ago and I was like, oh, that's what it was. That's why it was my time. The late 90s, dude, jean shorts ruled the world. Everybody cool was wearing jean shorts. And I haven't let go of that.

• 49:15H. Foley?

  It's funny, cause even dads were wearing them and it's still, they, they lived in separate, you know, lanes.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 13

  There's about a three inch, four inch inseam between father and Ghostface Killer.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 49:27Speaker 13

  It really is. It's interesting.

• 49:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  I had to have my mom, cause you know, you're a bigger guy, jeans are typically tighter on you. You know what I mean? And I had to have her button them. And I remember she was like, didn't, had never buttoned pants on somebody with a gut. Let alone her 12 year old little sweet boy. And she was like, do you go above it or under it? I'm like, just fucking do it. She's shut up.

• 49:52Speaker 13

  You know, my mom got the job at Casual Male Big and Tall so she could afford fat clothes for her son. She was regional manager. She worked her way up the ranks at Casual Male Big and Tall. She brought that up the other day again. I was like, can you get that job?

• 50:03H. Foley?

  Kept you and Tommy, kept you and Tommy Bahamas all through high school.

• 50:07Speaker 13

  My mom called me the other day and goes, uh...

• 50:11Speaker 13

  This is such a funny thing. She goes, ah, remember when I was younger? Um, when I worked. And she goes, me and my friend Janine went out to a club. And at like 4:15 in the morning, we, uh, we got the idea, we left the after hours and we got the idea drunkenly like, let's drive to the corporate offices of our job in Boston. And she goes, so we started driving right into Boston. She goes, we only got as far as New York though. And then we just kinda, like bad idea. And we just, and we just slept in a, we slept in a parking lot and went home. And I was like, corporate offices for what company? And she goes, uh, Big and Tall, Cashmere, Big and Tall. Like, this is when I was alive? Yeah, you were nine. I was like, where was I? She goes, with your mom, mom. I'm like, that makes sense.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  You were at Bubba's house.

• 50:53Speaker 13

  I was at mom, mom's.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Man, that's a tough one.

• 50:55Speaker 13

  But my mom was like, damn, is that what you were doing in your downtime? What was they gonna do? Getting trashed till 4:15. I don't know. Like storm the fucking place. Janine was hot.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Janine's are always hot.

• 51:05Speaker 13

  My mom was a manager of a retail place. So it was just hot, young girls were our friends. It was great. It is funny now, watching them all age though. I saw Janine not long ago, came to my show in Philly. My mom brought her and I was like, you see her, you're like, holy shit. You feel terrible? Cause I'm, I'm, and she's like, she goes, oh my God, look at you. You look great. And you're like, damn, you are look so much not as great as when I remember you. You were so young and hot when I remember you. What happened? That's funny. My mom's friends watching them get like obese through the years. Yeah. When I was younger, I was like, damn, she's got the best tits. Smoking. Yeah. And now you're like, she walks with a fucking, uh, something that has like a fucking tennis ball on the bottom of it.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  She's got, she's got the four thing, the, the four point cane.

• 51:48Speaker 13

  She has an elbow pad and like that carpal tunnel hand wrap. Buddy, that is the sign. The girl, any lady who's always got a fucking.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 51:56Speaker 13

  The bowling wrist guard, yeah. It's like, what have you done in your life? Throwing turkeys.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  That's a lot of hand jobs.

• 52:03Speaker 13

  If you meet a girl in a bar at this point and fuck her that night, you're definitely gonna hear the sound of that bell going.

• 52:10Speaker 13

  You're gonna slide it off?

• 52:12H. Foley?

  It's got that sweat on it. Clammy.

• 52:16Speaker 13

  It's gamey inside.

• 52:17Speaker 14

  It's warm, it's like 10 degrees warmer.

• 52:20Speaker 13

  You see her forearm hairs matted down?

• 52:24H. Foley?

  Were you a good student growing up? And how was the household growing up? You, your mom, your dad and your brother?

• 52:29Speaker 14

  Quiet.

• 52:32Speaker 14

  What you would mean by suburban neighborhood.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  Right.

• 52:34Speaker 14

  I think I was, I was not a good student until I got put in the, they put me in the school that my dad was a teacher. And then he was so, sometimes your dad's a teacher and the kids get away with everything. Because their parents can pull some levers and. Now I got spat on by one boy whose mother was not even a teacher, she was like an assistant teacher. And I, we couldn't, I couldn't do anything. I got in trouble for punching him in the head. Heard your dad's a commie. There was some of that. There was some of that. I was, I was giving him a bit of the chat. I was, I was.

• 53:05H. Foley?

  Sipping with that commie talk.

• 53:07Speaker 14

  I got into too many fights. I got into too many. Fist fights? Well, I started out with some fistfights and wasn't very good. And I'm ashamed, no, I'm ashamed to say I, I kicked a boy in the testicles. First time was an accident, but people were afraid of me after that. That became your move? I did it twice, I did it three times. It was like stone gold. I literally in six months, I kicked three boys in the nose.

• 53:28H. Foley?

  I like it, man.

• 53:30Speaker 14

  If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And then people were afraid of me. Not in a good way, not like, he's so tough. It's like, stay away, stay away if you can. He's got a problem.

• 53:37H. Foley?

  I kicked the boy in the testicles.

• 53:39Speaker 14

  I kicked the boy in the, yes. He's a good friend now. Hey Nick!

• 53:43Speaker 14

  Sorry you can't have kids.

• 53:44Speaker 13

  Call Nicky Sopranos.

• 53:46Speaker 14

  I believe, I believe he's, he's brought children into this world, at least one child.

• 53:51H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 53:51Speaker 14

  But I do remember he vomited up the stairs as he was walking away. Trail, I feel very bad about it now. Why did you kick him? What was the argument? Isn't that always the way, who can remember?

• 54:01Speaker 13

  That's the move.

• 54:02Speaker 14

  No, I shouldn't have done it.

• 54:03H. Foley?

  Take a swing.

• 54:04Speaker 14

  I had a late pu, I was the smallest boy by a lot. How late's late? I was the oldest soprano of the boys choir ever had.

• 54:13Speaker 14

  It was late. It was like, what would you say, I was, I would have been 16 when my voice broke.

• 54:19H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 54:19Speaker 14

  Yes.

• 54:22H. Foley?

  Were you in the choir for real or no?

• 54:23Speaker 14

  Yeah.

• 54:24H. Foley?

  What were the extracurricular activities?

• 54:26Speaker 14

  I did them all.

• 54:27H. Foley?

  Did you play?

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Nut stomping.

• 54:29Speaker 14

  No, I squeezed in the nut stomping between. I did debating, I did chess, I did...

• 54:35Speaker 14

  I tried all the normal sports and was shit at them, so I started doing the ones that...

• 54:38Speaker 02

  The obscure things.

• 54:39Speaker 14

  Did squash.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  You played squash?

• 54:41Speaker 14

  Squashing badminton.

• 54:42H. Foley?

  What is squash exactly?

• 54:43Speaker 14

  It's tennis, but really dull, and the Saudis love it.

• 54:46H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  What'd you do in Philly? Any of the old haunts? Did you go around? Did you get any good food?

• 54:50Speaker 15

  Woo!

• 54:50Speaker 02

  What's a guy like you, you know, you're headlining a nice weekend down there?

• 54:55Speaker 15

  Thank, shout out everybody that came out.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  You go hand out flyers or something? What'd you do?

• 54:57Speaker 15

  It was, it was awesome.

• 54:59H. Foley?

  He's parking.

• 55:00Speaker 15

  Packed it out.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Hey, we're big fans of packing it out. Packing it out. It's not sold out, but it's packed out.

• 55:06Speaker 15

  Uh, not so close to sold out. Punchline. Close.

• 55:10H. Foley?

  Host, feature, and headliner.

• 55:12Speaker 15

  Oh, me?

• 55:13H. Foley?

  Let's save a little money.

• 55:15Speaker 15

  You got more money. I commuted from...

• 55:17H. Foley?

  I'll bring my cellphone.

• 55:18Speaker 15

  I commuted from my mother's house in Delaware, kept the travel by myself.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  Did you really?

• 55:22Speaker 15

  No, I stayed at the hotel.

• 55:24H. Foley?

  The only guy to ask to pick up a waiting table station while he's working.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Hey, guys, my feature's up. I can do some food running.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  I just won 15% of all gratuity.

• 55:34Speaker 15

  You know, I can park cars until about 30 minutes into the show, right?

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Just light them and I'll...

• 55:39Speaker 15

  Uh, what'd I do? Oh, I ate way too many cheesesteaks.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Where'd you go?

• 55:44Speaker 15

  Oh, I went to Campos. I got gyms at 2:00 in the morning. The late show was rough, had to eat it away. And then I got Campos again, and then Gino's, uh, last night in. I wanted to go to Steve Prince's Stakes, but I didn't have enough time. They let me do WMMR Friday morning at like 8:00 a.m., which was awesome. And then I did some black show where it's for Fox Soul. And, uh, it got a little feisty. I threw in some honey chow in there.

• 56:15H. Foley?

  What are you talking about?

• 56:17Speaker 15

  It was on Fox, Philly 29.

• 56:20H. Foley?

  There's a Fox Philly Soul station?

• 56:22Speaker 15

  Yeah, it's, it's Fox 29.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  He's up there line dancing.

• 56:27Speaker 15

  Shoot.

• 56:29H. Foley?

  Shoot, Davey.

• 56:30Speaker 15

  Shoot, Davey. Shoot, it's Spindarella, y'all. And, uh...

• 56:34H. Foley?

  Now Ian Fadance with the weather. Man, this is how they shit in this motherfucker.

• 56:40Speaker 15

  Gonna be some wind, you gonna have to keep your old hats on.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Got to bust out my short pants.

• 56:46H. Foley?

  I apologize.

• 56:51Speaker 15

  They go, "Ian, what do you think about this Drake and Kendrick beef?" And I go, "Fellas, I think that beef is expired."

• 56:59H. Foley?

  Man, you the weirdest white motherfucker I ever met.

• 57:01Speaker 15

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:02H. Foley?

  God damn.

• 57:02Speaker 15

  Where'd we get this boy?

• 57:03Speaker 02

  I said he was a comedian.

• 57:04Speaker 15

  Ah, this boy comes straight out the schmuck.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Tattoos and turquoise jewelry, shit.

• 57:09Speaker 15

  Shit.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  You jerking?

• 57:12Speaker 15

  He ain't on my block.

• 57:14H. Foley?

  I'm not fucking coming here like a seminal.

• 57:17H. Foley?

  We have to cut this, right? What do we do? Sorry.

• 57:24Speaker 15

  Miss Ian, you a wild one. That's that old chow, you don't even know.

• 57:31Speaker 15

  You bring the spice, I'll bring the flavor.

• 57:34H. Foley?

  Now, I heard you like to get a little freaky deaky.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  Seth going, "I heard you like to swing both ways." Now I have here that you swing both ways.

• 57:47Speaker 15

  So it's a switcher. You need a lord.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  We would call that the DL.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Just a regular black guy trying to figure you out.

• 58:01H. Foley?

  Our next guest is going straight to hell.

• 58:04H. Foley?

  But he is funny, motherfucker.

• 58:05Speaker 15

  We had Miss Pat on the podcast, and she was like, "I ain't never been around something like this before."

• 58:12H. Foley?

  Oh, my god.

• 58:12Speaker 15

  And I was like, "But you have a gay daughter." She's like, "But she ain't like you."

• 58:15H. Foley?

  No.

• 58:23Speaker 15

  Tattoos ain't the only thing that's colorful. Come on now.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  So the weekend was good?

• 58:28Speaker 15

  That was terrible. Weekend was good? Weekend was good. Went to the old Laugh House? Did you? Boarded it up. Oh. Yep. Me, Shaner and Drew Montana ended up getting coffee right across the street. Mm-hmm. So we were just telling old Philly stories and it was really fun and then I went to Reba Records. Sounds boring as shit. What? The whole weekend sounds like it was fun. What do you want me to say? You ate a bunch of cheese steaks bombed on local TV? I didn't, I crushed on local TV. Let me tell you. They made a clip. They liked it a lot. Got caught in a rainstorm. What more do you want from me?

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 59:02Speaker 15

  Got broken up with in between shows. Oh, now we get to it. Yep, yep.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Was this the?

• 59:09Speaker 15

  Let the mania begin. Didn't sleep much. We're going off the rails on an Indian train. Bing on dang on ding on dang on ding on dang, go call me back. Bing on dang on ding on dang on ding on dang, I know where you live. Trying to kill yourself with cheese whiz. Well, dude, it was funny. She broke, broke up with me via text in between shows and we thought it'd be funny to take a picture with me and a knife up to my neck and be like, "You need to talk to me right now. Rethink this."

• 59:41Speaker 02

  Who's the we? You and the other voices in your head?

• 59:44Speaker 15

  I thought I was at the comedy club. Turns out I was just on Twelfth and Orange. I'm sorry to hear that, man.

• 59:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, sorry.

• 59:50Speaker 15

  Was this a new thing? Was it fresh? It'd have been a while? We met like two months ago. Okay. At a whirlwind week in LA.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  This was the, you had, you had just met the last one when we did your podcast. You had just met said person.

• 1:00:02Speaker 15

  Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  We were razzing at the time for that.

• 1:00:05Speaker 15

  Yes, yes. So it was a long distance thing? Yeah, but she came to visit New York. Really fun. And then when she went back to LA, she was like, "Look, like I..."

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  You are weird.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  That apartment is garoody.

• 1:00:19Speaker 15

  I got it cleaned. I saw your Fox Soul segment and...

• 1:00:24Speaker 15

  And I've never been more in love. Oh. So, yeah, she broke... Was like, look, I, I wanna be like in a very committed relationship. I don't think we're gonna be uh compatible. And I was like, alright. They like threw me off.

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  The hell you even mean compatible?

• 1:00:39Speaker 15

  Two weeks, two weeks later, I see her. It was great. We get back together. I asked her if she wanted to go steady. She said yes. And then uh

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Who live at my mom's?

• 1:00:49Speaker 15

  Broke up with me two days later.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  Hope you like cats.

• 1:00:53Speaker 15

  But there were like a lot of red flags. So when she was like, hey, this is it. I was like, no, with her. I'm a green flag.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:01:01Speaker 15

  I'm a fun time guy. What did name a red flag about me?

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:01:07Speaker 15

  Can't see.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  Hey, cat got your tongue?

• 1:01:09H. Foley?

  It starts and ends with the rings.

• 1:01:12Speaker 15

  These are good.

• 1:01:13H. Foley?

  That's too much silver.

• 1:01:14Speaker 15

  No, it's not.

• 1:01:15H. Foley?

  Are you hunting vampires?

• 1:01:16Speaker 15

  The rings are good, cause when they come off, it means business. My eyes go black like a wing of crow.

• 1:01:23H. Foley?

  Ian only fingers?

• 1:01:24Speaker 15

  Yeah.

• 1:01:26H. Foley?

  Maybe that was something. Ah, do you have anything in her place that you have to go back and get?

• 1:01:32Speaker 15

  Just a bunch of minion stuff I gave her.

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  Red flag number two.

• 1:01:37Speaker 15

  She told me she really loved the minion rides at Universal.

• 1:01:40H. Foley?

  Hey, I told you, I've never seen the movie, okay?

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  I said they're kinda cute.

• 1:01:43Speaker 15

  I stole her a bunch of minion stuff and gave her one. And then the more I gave her, the more I had to be like, ah.

• 1:01:49H. Foley?

  Are you gonna ask her for them back?

• 1:01:50Speaker 15

  Yeah, can I please have my minion bucket hat back, please?

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  You and the minions all in the car driving across country.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  He's in the backseat. He's not even driving.

• 1:02:05H. Foley?

  I said left!

• 1:02:07Speaker 15

  We'll find her soon.

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  Can't think of why she decided to.

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  Think about it. He asked her to go steady. She said okay, cause she didn't, she was afraid in the moment. And then he sent her a bunch of minions.

• 1:02:27H. Foley?

  And then a picture with a knife up to his throat.

• 1:02:29Speaker 15

  No, no, that was a joke. I didn't send it. Should I?

• 1:02:33H. Foley?

  It was a gun.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  We weren't bouncing bits.

• 1:02:37Speaker 16

  My dad jacked me up one time. I was in a, I think I was in like second grade. And I think I hit this girl.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  He jacked you up in second grade? I hit a girl. Every time, he did kinda have it coming. I gotta give it to him.

• 1:02:47Speaker 16

  I'm telling you, like, every time I had something happen to me, I needed it, dawg. And so I remember I was uh, picked me up from school. They called and picked me up from school. And he just was, we was riding back. And he just was like, he took me to get food, like, hey, listen, what you did was fucked up, and I'ma get you, but I'm not gonna tell you when. And he took me to food, we were talking, having a good time, we got in the house, I was chilling, and he just came room, just, don't you ever do shit like that ever again. The sneak attack? Yeah. That's mental warfare, dude. Got me, I was like, I never, ever, never, ever would do nothing like that.

• 1:03:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, why would they do that shit? Why would they play it cool for a little while? You think you're getting away with it, then all of a sudden, it's fucking-

• 1:03:21Speaker 16

  I can't wait to be a parent, I'mma be the best mental abuser ever, nigga. What? I'm on they ass, nigga.

• 1:03:26H. Foley?

  Wait like two weeks, don't say nothing?

• 1:03:28Speaker 16

  Thought I forgot, fuck, nigga. Wake them up.

• 1:03:30Speaker 16

  It's not ever over.

• 1:03:32H. Foley?

  Damn, alright. Any sports in high school?

• 1:03:35Speaker 16

  Played basketball.

• 1:03:35H. Foley?

  Played basketball. Were you a basketball player?

• 1:03:37Speaker 16

  I was alright, I was decent, I had a, so my, I didn't, I never really had the grades to play a full season until my senior year. Full season? So I always played like half of the season. My freshman year, I got in a fight with my teammate, about who played more, we both didn't play. Sure. I got in a fight in a, we fought in a away team bathroom. We was in an away game, we fought in the bathroom, I almost died. Jesus. Why? I was, cause like, I was a small kid my freshman year, but I could fight a little bit, I had some hands a little bit. So, we was in a fight and I was fucking him up, I was beating the shit out of him. And then, my brain just went- My dad came in and started kicking my ass. But, my brain just went, hit him with the razzle-dazzle. So I tried to pick him up, cause everybody was recording the fight.

• 1:04:18Speaker 16

  And then, when I went to go pick him up, he grabbed my, like, lower body, and all I remember is somebody going, "Don't kill Cam." And they caught me like, right before I was gonna hit the ground.

• 1:04:27H. Foley?

  They cracked your head open or something like that?

• 1:04:28Speaker 16

  Yeah, he was gonna fuck me up.

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  That's a pretty good fight, though.

• 1:04:31Speaker 16

  Yeah.

• 1:04:31H. Foley?

  In the, dude, a fight in the away team's locker room, that's pretty respectable.

• 1:04:36Speaker 16

  Nah, it was dope, and so I got kicked off the team for that. And then my sophomore year, I got back on the team, we had a new coach. Cause that, the old coach we had was like, you'll never play basketball at this school level again. He went to a different school.

• 1:04:47H. Foley?

  He got fired.

• 1:04:48Speaker 16

  So we got a new coach. And then I got back on the team, didn't have the grades to play, and then played the same half of the season. When I got back on the team, I cussed out my Spanish teacher.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:04:57Speaker 16

  Cause she was a bitch.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  She had it coming.

• 1:05:00Speaker 16

  She definitely had it coming. I wasn't trying to learn Spanish, I wasn't going to college. So I didn't give a fuck about it at all. And then she, and she was a black lady too, which was, okay, whatever. So she, uh, this, I was never gonna learn Spanish. Cause my first year was a Russian lady teaching me Spanish. I know the fuck she was saying.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:05:14Speaker 16

  Second year was a black lady. She was cool, but she was a bitch. So I was asleep one day, and then she was like, you gotta wake up. And I said, hey, bro, you didn't gonna let me sleep. You gonna shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone. And my, I didn't realize that the JV coach was next door. And she just told him immediately, and they keep up the team for that.

• 1:05:29H. Foley?

  Well, just for the record, she kinda was right. You're sleeping in class, and you yell at her.

• 1:05:33Speaker 16

  Yeah, I mean, listen, every time I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  I tell you, I will get, you have admitted every time.

• 1:05:38Speaker 16

  Every time I'm wrong, I be wrong as shit, man, wrong as fuck.

• 1:05:41H. Foley?

  What was the vacations like when you were a kid? Would you, would you guys, we always think everybody living in Orlando, you went to Disney World like every three days.

• 1:05:47Speaker 16

  Fuck no.

• 1:05:48H. Foley?

  Now?

• 1:05:48Speaker 16

  Hell no. Didn't know where they could see me. I don't know, um, vacation.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  Nothing, really?

• 1:05:55H. Foley?

  Nothing?

• 1:05:55Speaker 16

  Nah, not that I could, oh shit.

• 1:05:58H. Foley?

  That's a first. No vacations at all? I like it.

• 1:06:01Speaker 16

  Maybe we did.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  He's a bad kid. I wouldn't take him anywhere either. He fucking causing a problem everywhere he went.

• 1:06:05Speaker 16

  I went to Hawaii with my mom when I was a kid.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Okay, that's a huge vacation.

• 1:06:09H. Foley?

  Huge vacation.

• 1:06:10Speaker 16

  But she was a flight attendant.

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  She gets the buddy pass or whatever, yeah.

• 1:06:13Speaker 16

  I wasn't really like, well, it was dope, that was cool. My parents got married, we got friends, I went to Hawaii with my mom when I was like 10 years old.

• 1:06:18H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  That's really good.

• 1:06:19Speaker 16

  That's what I can really remember.

• 1:06:20H. Foley?

  That's a good one.

• 1:06:21Speaker 16

  Oh, in Tennessee?

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a vacation.

• 1:06:23Speaker 16

  With my, yeah, family reunion and shit.

• 1:06:24Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:06:25Speaker 16

  My dad and shit. Got mustard in my eyes.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  Wow, hell.

• 1:06:31Speaker 16

  I was, uh, my, it was on my, it was on my, on my stepmom's side of the family.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  Uh huh. So your dad got remarried?

• 1:06:37Speaker 16

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 1:06:38Speaker 16

  And so, cause she, and she been married my whole life, she up changing my diapers and shit. So, uh, we, I went over to, uh, we went to Tennessee, they got a cabin. And my sister's cousins was playing this game called, don't go to sleep, or you gonna get mustard in your eyes.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  Pretty descriptive game.

• 1:06:53Speaker 16

  And I was tired, cause I was the youngest, I went to sleep, and they put mustard in my eyes.

• 1:06:57H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 1:06:57Speaker 16

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how the game was.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  They kinda lost the game.

• 1:07:01Speaker 16

  It's a fucked up game.

• 1:07:02H. Foley?

  Was the family reunion every year? Did you guys do one every year?

• 1:07:05Speaker 16

  Yeah, and games in Florida, my momma's side, yeah.

• 1:07:06H. Foley?

  Man, that's all right. That was probably a good time.

• 1:07:08Speaker 16

  It was dope.

• 1:07:09H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:10Speaker 16

  Yup, I put pee in a water bottle one time, and chased my cousins around with it, cause I couldn't catch them in tag.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  Man, this guy, chemical warfare. Fucking got piss bombs.

• 1:07:20Speaker 17

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  You're the one, I mean, you are the weirdest guy I've ever met.

• 1:07:23Speaker 16

  I'ma tell you, my, I got some childhood stories, nigga.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:07:28Speaker 16

  Oh yeah, I remember, my granddad, my granddad was so mad at me about that shit. Cause I couldn't catch him, but I was mad as fuck. And then like, we were playing tag and I went to the bathroom and I came back out with a water bottle and it was yellow. And they didn't realize at first, but then my cousin was like, "He got piss in the water bottle." And they just started hitting and I was squirting it at him like, yeah. Yeah, it was crazy. I was in time out about two hours for that one.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  Fucking problem child, damn dude.

• 1:07:51Speaker 17

  You say you're in time out for about two hours? That's not bad, two hours for a piss bomb.

• 1:07:54Speaker 16

  Come on with that.

• 1:07:55Speaker 17

  That's easy time. Dude, that's standing on your head. How was your mom in the kitchen? Good cook?

• 1:08:01Speaker 16

  She can cook for fuck. Nah, my mom can't cook for shit.

• 1:08:04Speaker 17

  Hmm.

• 1:08:04Speaker 16

  Hell, no, but she tried, she make a red velvet cake.

• 1:08:08Speaker 16

  Would that work?

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  That work?

• 1:08:09Speaker 16

  She make a cake for you. Damn, so I can make a cake.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Damn, I've never had someone flex a red velvet cake.

• 1:08:15Speaker 16

  That's her, that's her specialty, bro.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  That's a high-end cake, dude. That's a, fuck, give me that.

• 1:08:19Speaker 16

  Can't cook for shit. Red velvet cake on your ass.

• 1:08:22Speaker 17

  My friend, Ron Barry's brother, Randy Barry, was on The Real World. And he would party with us all the time.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  Who was he on The Real World?

• 1:08:29Speaker 17

  He was Randy from The Real World San Diego. And girls used, they used their fucking pussies would melt off when they saw him.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  Oh, I remem, this guy was hot.

• 1:08:37Speaker 17

  Dude.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  Didn't he?

• 1:08:38Speaker 17

  I, I've never seen people flip out more than a Real World, we'd be at like a PC bar, Providence College, which is like, hot Irish hockey girls that are kinda like, where they're, you know, everybody's favorite.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  That is such a specific Rhode Island girl.

• 1:08:51Speaker 17

  Freckles, kinda beat, 7'2" to 8'4".

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  Every one of my cousins. Shout out Bridget, shout out.

• 1:08:58Speaker 17

  Oh yeah, stop it. I'm gonna leave my wife, oh yeah, Jesus Christ, like field hockey girl, that's the one. You know, like kinda funny, really good sense of humor, does like physical humor.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Can drink a lot.

• 1:09:09Speaker 17

  Yeah, they run through doors and shit.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Chugs a beer in your face.

• 1:09:12Speaker 17

  They're like Chris Farley, the girl. Yeah, yeah, but they're kinda pretty. That's, that's my type. So I, and we'd go to PC with this guy. It was like, it was literally like bringing like fucking Spanish fly. Like it was, it was like kicking a bottle of Spanish fly on the ground in the bar. And girls would be like, "Oh my god." Brad from the real world, like now my father starts- Brad? Brad came in, I remember him clapping out a girl in the back of my dad's, my dad flipped out at a midlife crisis, bought a Hummer, a red Hummer H2 during this time. I feel like your dad's probably had nine midlife crisis- Oh, yeah, yeah, he had a really good one. Uh, it was like, what, red Hummer, I mean, he might as well have told everybody he wanted to fucking give head. I was like, why didn't you wear a prom dress to that? Jesus Christ. What's up, I'm here to party and I might blow you. Yeah, yeah, what, it's cool, no it's not. Damn, Brad, you met Brad? Yeah, he was, I remember like, he's like, hey, can you ride back to this girl's dorm room?

• 1:09:58Speaker 17

  And I just like, yeah dude, no problem, are you kidding me? I'm like a fucking, you know, the little, like the low rung on the total pole, I'm like, no problem dude, and I just like, look back here like,

• 1:10:05Speaker 17

  I just like, look back, he's just clapping an open-legged fucking freshman like,

• 1:10:10Speaker 17

  and I was like, wow, this is awesome- Hollywood dude. Made it, I'm going to the Oscars next year.

• 1:10:18Speaker 17

  Yeah, that was super fun. So, that, that all starts going on and, uh, and then I think it was like, I had a summer of partying, and I was like, man, I gotta stop spending like 500 bucks on a week and going hammer, um, you know, it was, it was a great time, or, and then I bought the condo, and I, I gave him, he wanted five grand and Wayne Grove, and he's, I was like, look man, I don't got five grand, I got 1,700 bucks. And he's like, are you fucking kidding me dude, Benny told me you give me fucking five grand. And I was like, I don't have it. I don't have it and you gotta get out either way, so do you want it? And I remember like, my move was always hold the money out in front and make sure it was in loose bills. If you're ever buying anything at a flea market, hold the money out front and say, do you want it? And make sure the last number is a nine. Wait, what? So, I'll give you an example, say someone wants 350 dollars.

• 1:11:01Speaker 17

  You offer them, instead of offering them 150, offer them 189 dollars. Make sure the last digit is high. It's a stupid thing, but they'll be like, cause if it was one- 70, they wouldn't go now, yeah.

• 1:11:13Speaker 17

  They'd be like, no, no, nine.

• 1:11:15H. Foley?

  I thought you meant the serial number on the bill.

• 1:11:17Speaker 17

  No, no, no, just like, nah, I have 109 dollars, then hold it in front of them, do you want it? And, nobody says no. It's like a 9.7 out of 10 times you'll close that.

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  Holy shit. You'll close. This guy's constantly closing stuff.

• 1:11:30Speaker 17

  Well, I have to buy it. I'll get into it later, but yeah, you always have, you're always doing those deals. You'll see that people, whatever. It's an old lady. Who gives a shit? She'll fucking watch, she'll watch you melt in a barrel fire. Who gives a shit?

• 1:11:40Speaker 02

  Alright, so you buy the, you buy the option to buy that you buy 1,700 bucks.

• 1:11:44Speaker 17

  Yup.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  Then you get, you get this condo.

• 1:11:46Speaker 17

  I get a no-doc loan.

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  From who?

• 1:11:49Speaker 17

  My cokehead friend, Matt.

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  He gave you 120 cash?

• 1:11:52Speaker 17

  No, no, no. This is when, remember when loans you didn't have, it was called stated income? I made like-

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  You just had to say, "This is what I made."

• 1:11:58Speaker 17

  That's right. So, it was like, I made like 53.

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  This is essentially what brought down the world economy.

• 1:12:03Speaker 17

  It's, oh, 100, it's happening right now. DSCR loans doing it right now in Baltimore. It's happening right now. But, um, it was no-doc loans.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 1:12:09Speaker 17

  The other guy in Baltimore is doing his crush. It just came out this morning. Anyway, so like, I was like, yeah, I make 90-

• 1:12:13Speaker 02

  What, you read the trades? What the fuck?

• 1:12:15Speaker 17

  I make 90. I was in the paper this morning. Yeah. Uh, I got a loan for, I said I made 90 grand. It was a lie. I didn't make 90 grand.

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  I did that with Apple to get a MacBook.

• 1:12:24Speaker 17

  Nice. Well, how'd you, how'd you slide out of there?

• 1:12:26Speaker 02

  They said, "How much do you make?" I did it on the computer. They said, "How much you make?" I said, "300,000 dollars." This was on the podcast. It was like the first week of the podcast.

• 1:12:33Speaker 17

  Criminal. They should lock you up in a ski mask.

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  They were like, "Hey, good job."

• 1:12:36Speaker 17

  Hannibal Lecter over here.

• 1:12:39Speaker 17

  You're gonna be doing life after this. This guy's stealing retirement homes. You're talking about your Venmo credit card? Shut up! I'm sticking pickaxes in little old ladies' heads.

• 1:12:49Speaker 17

  I'm shooting him like John, Joe Pesci in the movie. You're gonna embarrass us in front of Brad if you ever show up. Brad from the real world.

• 1:12:57Speaker 18

  Do you guys poop in your pants? What do you mean?

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  Like recreationally?

• 1:13:01Speaker 18

  Just say the answer.

• 1:13:02Speaker 02

  Uh, him, more so.

• 1:13:05Speaker 18

  I just, you boys be pooping in your pants a lot. Like, I have a lot of, I've never pooped. One time I pooped in my pants. And I was in preschool. Totally fine.

• 1:13:14Speaker 02

  You're telling me.

• 1:13:15Speaker 18

  But you guys- I know, no, it's true. I was on the road with Sikora and he shit in his pants, just on tour. Like, a little bit.

• 1:13:23Speaker 02

  I'm not like, it's not-

• 1:13:25H. Foley?

  I've only ever, I've only ever fully pooped in my pants once.

• 1:13:28Speaker 18

  But that's crazy to once in your life poop in your pa- it's like the one bodily function-

• 1:13:32H. Foley?

  I got jammed, I got stuck in traffic. I didn't make it.

• 1:13:35Speaker 18

  And you just shit?

• 1:13:36H. Foley?

  I couldn't, I couldn't take another step.

• 1:13:38Speaker 18

  Oh, you were walking?

• 1:13:40H. Foley?

  Yes, I was walking-

• 1:13:40Speaker 18

  Almost to the house.

• 1:13:42H. Foley?

  It's almost there.

• 1:13:42Speaker 18

  Brutal.

• 1:13:43H. Foley?

  I literally, I couldn't take another-

• 1:13:46Speaker 18

  Do you throw it away or do you wash it?

• 1:13:48H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 1:13:48Speaker 18

  You throw away or you wash it?

• 1:13:49H. Foley?

  I everything I throw, it was, it was like in the Pulp Fiction. It was a whole thing.

• 1:13:53Speaker 18

  Incinerate, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:54H. Foley?

  Everything was cleaned up, thrown out, yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 18

  It's crazy how much you guys poop your pants and get skid marks.

• 1:14:00H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:00Speaker 18

  Every one of my friends, the other day I reached into a friend, back of a friend's car to grab a towel and he's like, that's my poop towel. It is all the seed oil. And the servers, it's the servers.

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  I didn't say this, but-

• 1:14:08H. Foley?

  The male digestive system gets all wonky as it gets older.

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  I was changing my son's diaper the other day and I shit at the same time.

• 1:14:15Speaker 18

  Oh my god!

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  And it was this moment of like, dude.

• 1:14:18H. Foley?

  My man.

• 1:14:18Speaker 18

  I shouldn't have this child.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  You are your daddy's boy.

• 1:14:21Speaker 18

  You shit in your pants while you're-

• 1:14:23Speaker 02

  Not shit, like you're saying like shit in your pants like I'm like, I got the paper-

• 1:14:26Speaker 18

  What are you saying? What are you saying?

• 1:14:27Speaker 02

  Like I got the paper open.

• 1:14:28Speaker 18

  You were changing the boy's diaper and you farted and shit came out?

• 1:14:32H. Foley?

  Yes, that's what happened.

• 1:14:33Speaker 18

  That's shitting your pants!

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  No, I gotta push back. As someone who shits, I gotta push back on this. You have no experience doing it. Grease between the cheeks. Yes.

• 1:14:40Speaker 18

  Oh!

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  That's what-

• 1:14:42Speaker 18

  Oh! Is there a spurt?

• 1:14:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, there's a spurt.

• 1:14:46Speaker 18

  No, that's shitting your pants!

• 1:14:47Speaker 02

  There's propulsion, yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 18

  Yeah, propulsion is shitting your pants. This is insane.

• 1:14:51Speaker 02

  But it's, no, it's not a log.

• 1:14:53Speaker 18

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:14:54Speaker 18

  But there's no air. It's not like, it's not like far air and- This, I dissected this with Segura, cause he was like, I sharted and I was like, bro, you're describing shitting your pants because you went to fart and a stream of poop came out, that's shitting your pants.

• 1:15:07H. Foley?

  But the thing is, you don't know whether it's air or the other thing.

• 1:15:10Speaker 18

  Oh.

• 1:15:11H. Foley?

  You can't tell.

• 1:15:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not like, it's not a conscious decision.

• 1:15:15Speaker 18

  Oh, you think it's, so it literally-

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  You go, oh, this is a fart and then you go, that's not a fart.

• 1:15:20Speaker 18

  But you know after it's poop.

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:22Speaker 18

  Yeah, that's pooping your pants. That is poop. Are you-

• 1:15:25H. Foley?

  We're not doing it on purpose, man.

• 1:15:27Speaker 18

  I know you're not doing it on purpose, but if I fart and a little bit of poop particle is there and I get a skid mark, that could be a shart. But if you- Fart, go to fart, and it's accidentally a poop? That's pooping your pants.

• 1:15:39H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 1:15:39Speaker 18

  Okay.

• 1:15:40H. Foley?

  Fuck you want from me?

• 1:15:41Speaker 18

  You accidentally poop your pants a lot.

• 1:15:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:43Speaker 18

  Yeah, that's all I want from you. I don't want you to say I accidentally fart and some poop comes out. I'm so sick of that. You shit your pants.

• 1:15:51Speaker 02

  I hate to break it to you, that's what happens.

• 1:15:52Speaker 18

  No.

• 1:15:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm disgusting.

• 1:15:55Speaker 18

  I hate that you guys have made up this term "shart" as if it's acceptable. It needs to be back.

• 1:15:59H. Foley?

  But that's what it is!

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  We all got together and we're like, "How can we fool Jordan?"

• 1:16:03H. Foley?

  At the meeting.

• 1:16:04Speaker 18

  Yeah, but everything-

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  At the hot guy meeting.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  At the hot guys who fart and a little bit of poop comes out meeting. Okay?

• 1:16:12Speaker 18

  At the guys who everybody loves and wants to be around meeting. At everybody's favorite boys.

• 1:16:16H. Foley?

  At the Hyatt Regency Hotel this Saturday, 2 o'clock.

• 1:16:21Speaker 18

  That's crazy.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, you're not ru- it's not, uh, you're not wrong. It's not a, it's not ideal situation, um, but it, you know.

• 1:16:29Speaker 18

  If I was having sex with you and I bled all over your penis and I go, "Oops, I queefed," you'd be like, "No, you pussy bled all over my penis."

• 1:16:38H. Foley?

  It's a pretty extreme analogy.

• 1:16:40Speaker 18

  No, it's not! No, it's not. Blood and poop are equivalent. Blood and poop are just as bad.

• 1:16:45H. Foley?

  No, they are not.

• 1:16:46Speaker 18

  Blood and poop are equivalent. Would you rather have poop on your dick or blood on your dick?

• 1:16:50H. Foley?

  I never got shot and shit all over the place. Well, I guess you could. I don't know.

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  Hey, world's worst analogy.

• 1:16:58Speaker 02

  That didn't even make sense.

• 1:17:00H. Foley?

  Well, when you get cut-

• 1:17:01Speaker 02

  Never shit my pants and then fingered myself on my period.

• 1:17:09Speaker 18

  I've never gotten hard on my own shit. Wait, wait.

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  If you order Coke Out, will you order no ice, or will you order ice or extra ice? Do you have any?

• 1:17:16Speaker 19

  No, I order a light ice, because I know they gonna cheat me.

• 1:17:20Speaker 02

  I knew that was coming.

• 1:17:23Speaker 19

  All those documentaries about Canada did a documentary on how, uh, the United States cheat you. When you've been to Canada, they don't put ice in their drink.

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is Europe, yeah.

• 1:17:31Speaker 19

  Yeah, they just, they just give you the drink, but America cheat you out of half of the drink. If you pour that drink off that ice, you probably got that much. And you pay for a whole soda.

• 1:17:40Speaker 02

  A lot of the time, it's free refill.

• 1:17:41H. Foley?

  You know where they love to do that? On the airplane. I say, "I want the can," when I'm on the airplane, because they'll just give you that little tiny plastic cup.

• 1:17:49Speaker 19

  Yeah, I ex- you know what? I go to the, uh, I go to the Delta Lounge and I, I just throw, uh, ginger beer in my purse. You know, the ginger beer?

• 1:17:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:57Speaker 19

  It is so fucking good. You can only get it inside of the Delta Lounge.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:18:01Speaker 19

  Yeah. You ever been in it? I know y'all been in the Delta Lounge.

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Diamond.

• 1:18:04Speaker 19

  Oh, oh, I'm Platinum. I'm 360.

• 1:18:06Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm Platinum, I mean. I'm Platinum. You're 360?

• 1:18:08Speaker 19

  Yeah.

• 1:18:09Speaker 02

  She's killing it. I've never seen one.

• 1:18:11Speaker 19

  She's killing it.

• 1:18:13H. Foley?

  I'm wood.

• 1:18:15Speaker 19

  You know the thing about being 360? When you have a problem, they take care of it.

• 1:18:21Speaker 02

  Platinum do too. They do too.

• 1:18:22Speaker 19

  Yeah, but not-

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  I mean, 360, you get on the plane before the fucking pilot.

• 1:18:25Speaker 19

  Well, I do, um, I do cam, but I do VIP.

• 1:18:30Speaker 02

  Is that where they drive you to the thing?

• 1:18:31Speaker 19

  Yes. I do that every week.

• 1:18:33H. Foley?

  You, wait, so you get driven to the...

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  To the plane.

• 1:18:36Speaker 19

  Mm-hmm. Every week.

• 1:18:37H. Foley?

  And then you walk up to the outside?

• 1:18:38Speaker 19

  I walk up to the side, yeah. Only because I don't like going through Atlanta Airport. That's where I live at. And it's just too much to get your bag.

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  Atlanta Airport sucks.

• 1:18:46Speaker 19

  And it's just, it's easy for me, because I have a driver that pick me up and take me over to the airport.

• 1:18:50Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:18:50Speaker 19

  And it's just easy for me to get VIP to get me, run me through, drop me on the plane, take me to Delta Lounge, and I'm done. I don't got time. Then, you know, people, black people are different from white fans. Black people don't give a fuck what your day is like. Give me a picture! Give me a picture! And I don't want to say, "Look, bitch. Leave me alone." So I just go up to the side of the plane and pull my hat down, and I hide. Because they don't, you know, white people are like, "Hey, how you doing?" Black people don't care. They'll snatch on you. "I love you!" "Bitch, get your hand off me." Then I'm on a viral video fighting somebody because I didn't want to take a picture. Call my wig on cricket. So, you know, I just say, to keep everything down, I'm just gonna go VIP.

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  Smart. Very smart. That's great. Good for you.

• 1:19:34H. Foley?

  Speaking of the plane, um, obviously you're up front.

• 1:19:38Speaker 19

  All the time.

• 1:19:38H. Foley?

  Of course. Do you take your shoes off on the plane?

• 1:19:41Speaker 19

  Ni, I mean...

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  You're allowed to say it. We're not.

• 1:19:47Speaker 19

  I had to catch myself. That dirty ass carpet. Are you crazy?

• 1:19:51H. Foley?

  I'm guessing that's enough.

• 1:19:52Speaker 19

  You see how many white people have their toes on that floor?

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  That's crazy. I just, I just flew back from, from Europe last week, and I saw a guy barefoot go to the bathroom and come back.

• 1:20:01Speaker 19

  Oh, my gosh!

• 1:20:02H. Foley?

  I'll do that in my socks!

• 1:20:03Speaker 19

  White, white.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  Asian guy.

• 1:20:05Speaker 19

  Well, yeah, white.

• 1:20:08Speaker 02

  Same thing. He wasn't black, I'll give you that.

• 1:20:11Speaker 19

  My skin was white, ain't no way in the hell. Ain't no way in the, not even a homeless person, black would've done that.

• 1:20:18Speaker 02

  Put the slippers on at least.

• 1:20:19H. Foley?

  If I take my shoes off on, say it's like a six hour flight, or something like that, it's a long flight, and I'm getting comfortable, I got my movie going, some snacks, stuff like that, I've had my meal.

• 1:20:29H. Foley?

  Alright, and I...

• 1:20:30Speaker 19

  That is horrible.

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  Well, at first, they give you the slippers, you put the slippers, they'll give you a pair of slippers.

• 1:20:34H. Foley?

  I can't fit in those things.

• 1:20:36Speaker 19

  Let me tell you who I just flew, I just flew Emirates for the first time. You ever flew Emirates?

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:20:40H. Foley?

  What were you just on?

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  I was on Singapore, it was very nice.

• 1:20:42Speaker 19

  It was?

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, Singapore was very nice.

• 1:20:44Speaker 19

  I almost got on Singapore, I went to Saudi Arabia, then I went to Dubai. And when I tell you, Emirates first class.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, it's like in an apartment.

• 1:20:53Speaker 19

  Oh my god. When I tell you they wake you up to take a bath, ma'am, it's time for your shower. Yes.

• 1:20:59H. Foley?

  Did you take a shower on the plane?

• 1:21:00Speaker 19

  No, I was, I had a panty line on.

• 1:21:02Speaker 02

  I told you I can't take my fucking shoes off.

• 1:21:04Speaker 19

  I had a panty line on, it was gonna make it. Now, if I was just bed draws in it, it would've, I would've had to take a bath.

• 1:21:11H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, a panty liner, what do you mean?

• 1:21:13Speaker 19

  A panty liner catches the secretions that fall out of me.

• 1:21:17Speaker 02

  I can't believe you needed that fucking display, explain.

• 1:21:20Speaker 19

  Sir, every vagina leaks, so, everything that leaks...

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  You ever see one, huh?

• 1:21:24H. Foley?

  No. Seen it in some videos.

• 1:21:27Speaker 19

  You a big guy, it's easy to have sex with you, just kicking your stomach, your dick pop out like a cash register. That's easy. Y'all are so warm. You know the hardest thing about giving a fat person head, is when you lift they stomach up, they dick is hot. Like ninety-nine degrees.

• 1:21:45Speaker 02

  It's like an air fryer down there.

• 1:21:46Speaker 19

  Yes, and your makeup and eyelashes will fall off. It is, it is work sucking a fat man penis. Cause it's so warm down there. You ever did it?

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  Girl, let me tell you.

• 1:22:03Speaker 19

  I thought I was gonna get into saying, "Yeah."

• 1:22:05H. Foley?

  Man, this patch just obliterated us. Hit one shot.

• 1:22:08Speaker 02

  Hook over, I got fake eyelashes on.

• 1:22:10Speaker 19

  Oh, you gotta take your makeup off before you give a fat man head. I'm telling you, that is some work that I'm out. And they, they balls are like, it's, it's like it's been in a little.

• 1:22:20H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm not on trial here.

• 1:22:22Speaker 19

  I'm just telling, feel his nuts, I guarantee you.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  I've seen them, they're not great.

• 1:22:25H. Foley?

  Oh, they're bad.

• 1:22:26Speaker 19

  No, touch them, they're hot.

• 1:22:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, they're, they're, they're hot.

• 1:22:29Speaker 19

  Cause I'm telling you, he's thick between the legs. So, everything is just right there, heating up at all time. And as he walk, they're boiling. Yeah, as he walk, they're boiling.

• 1:22:39H. Foley?

  Ah, she's not wrong.

• 1:22:40Speaker 02

  She's talking like you're not here.

• 1:22:42Speaker 19

  If he te-

• 1:22:43Speaker 02

  Shit, pull his nuts, pull his nuts out right now. I bet, I bet you, I bet you, they're, they're 102 degrees.

• 1:22:47Speaker 19

  If he teabag a bitch, it, it'll burn his skin.

• 1:22:51H. Foley?

  How do you feel, as a whole, about its rise, about its popularity, about its existence, really, of the birthday cake flavor?

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  Well, let me go into this, actually, because I'm happy you asked this. My thoughts on this are evolving.

• 1:23:09H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  Yes. Early on, when birthday cake flavor was introduced, somewhere, let's be honest, before 2010, no one had heard of it. We're talking about the early aughts here. The birthday cake flavor is introduced. The earliest and most mainstream application of this flavor was something called Birthday Cake Remix from Cold Stone Creamery.

• 1:23:28Speaker 02

  It was Cold Stone, that was the big one.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  Cold Stone Creamery introduces this flavor in, in 2010. There's a mortgage crisis, people are suffering, they're losing their homes. They're lining up, the Cold Stone employees are singing, they're making ice cream, many of them are on pills, and they can't see their children unless there's a police officer present. The birthday cake flavor comes in to make everything a party. Nothing's a party. Nothing's a party, okay? Oh, you thought you were gonna retire with the equity in this house, now you're living in an apartment again. Nothing's a party, here comes the birthday cake flavor, oh, there's sprinkles in it. Is it your birthday? No, I'm actually living in hell. So, this flavor comes in, then everybody gets it. It gets cheap.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  I don't like it anymore. It feels very chemical. I don't like the birthday cake flavor. I've turned on it completely.

• 1:24:19H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  I used to argue, and I still will argue this, that the Burger King French toast stick was one of the most influential things I've ever had in my life. It changed my life. The Burger King French toast stick.

• 1:24:33H. Foley?

  It's like you're in here. You know that? It's like you're right.

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  Because the McGriddle does not run, the Burger King French toast stick doesn't walk. You are not wrong. And here's the thing, Burger King has fallen far, but there was a time when it was a nice time. Cause you had a crinkle cut pickle. McDonald's had a regular pickle. They were contending. They had a crinkle cut pickle at Burger King. You had a flame broiled Whopper at Burger King. There was a time when Burger King was in the game. It is not in the game right now and it is a fucking tragedy. It's like a FEMA camp when you walk in there.

• 1:25:04H. Foley?

  I have a theory.

• 1:25:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:25:05H. Foley?

  Okay, that I have expressed to Kevin in private.

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:25:08H. Foley?

  That our culture.

• 1:25:10Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:25:10H. Foley?

  As Americans.

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:25:11H. Foley?

  We are the coolest at times in history where Burger King and Pepsi are the driving force. When Burger King and Pepsi are in.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  It's actually, it's actually beautiful to hear someone articulate that with words.

• 1:25:27H. Foley?

  We are at our coolest when Burger King's popping and Pepsi's popping.

• 1:25:31Speaker 01

  Because we need the underdog to thrive. We need the underdog to thrive in this country. Was Burger King my favorite? Absolutely not, but did. Was there a time when it was hot? Amen. Was there a time when you had a, who was mad at a croissant witch? Buddy. Was someone mad at that? Dude, when the chicken. Was someone mad at that? When the chicken fry hit, it was alright. It was alright. There were ti- I actually think there were the times with the most racial harmony as well. Of course.

• 1:26:00H. Foley?

  You know what? I agree.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  We were united.

• 1:26:01H. Foley?

  I agree.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  United. So, that to me is a sad, Pete's, that's a sad story. These are sad stories. Sad stories.

• 1:26:09H. Foley?

  But we could get it back.

• 1:26:10Speaker 01

  His green name was Burger King Lover. No, for life.

• 1:26:13H. Foley?

  Get it back.

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  Oh, for life. For life. But guess what? Not for life now. No.

• 1:26:16H. Foley?

  We could get it back. We could be cool again.

• 1:26:19Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:26:20H. Foley?

  Huh. Just one crispy chicken sandwich away.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  What is the biggest disappointment fast food wise? I'll tell you right now. Hit me. I'll tell you right now. What'd you say?

• 1:26:29H. Foley?

  No, please.

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  The, because I was gonna agree with you. I thought you said the thing I was gonna say. You guys are mind melding. The biggest fall that has ever happened in this country. From a restaurant that was one of the greats to something that is now nothing, and that is Wendy's. Wendy's in the 90s was the premier. You would go there and have a burger that was amazing. It was a square patty. You'd get a gold wrapper, Monterey Ranch chicken sandwich, ranch in bacon in the ranch, fresh never frozen, a salad bar that included chocolate pudding and slices of pineapple. How about you go fuck yourself? And this was, you would leave your job, maybe at a debt collection agency or at the rec center. You'd go in there and you'd put a feed bag on, oh, a big chili baked potato? Maybe I will stay married.

• 1:27:16Speaker 01

  And now, now it is hell. You would get a salad there with bacon, cheddar cheese, ranch dressing, croutons. You'd pile it high. I mean, the steakhouse bacon cheeseburger at Wendy's, the Monterey Ranch chicken sandwich at Wendy's. Wendy's was amazing and it has fallen far. Shame. The thickness of that shredded yellow cheddar cheese at the salad bar, covered in ranch with a slab of chocolate pudding on the side. We've discussed this. It still holds true to this moment. You couldn't be more right. Talk about a maverick. A big potato at a fast food restaurant. They did things. They did things. Dave Thomas. Now you go into Wendy's and everyone's confused. It's, everyone's confused.

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  It's some Norwegian who just got off a plane and they don't know what's happening. No one is excited at a Wendy's. It's just kids go in there to film fights. They go in there to curb stomp a bitch and film it. That is all Wendy's are used for now. They're used for inner city fights and they know it. They go, that's the only reason we exist is for inner city TikTok brawls.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:28:26Speaker 20

  This fall, discover why there are two sides to every pancake story at Cracker Barrel. The edgy side, created by the golden crispy edges, and the softer side, made up of those warm fluffy centers. So slow down. Make time to bring in the family, day or night, and try the new sweet cream caramel apple pancakes. Three of the world's best buttermilk pancakes topped with fried cinnamon apples, caramel drizzle and sweet vanilla cream. Then dig in and write your own breakfast story. Welcome home to Cracker Barrel.