Gary Owen!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Gary Owen! You know Gary Owen from stand up comedy, Flagrant, Club Shay Shay, The Breakfast Club, This Past Weekend, The Pivot Podcast, the Get Some Podcast, Crowdwork and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Best of AYG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8bt-D-ZN4&list=PLCJp1IfokN9Cy1Hi79LSGAykCKfRDM_y9 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com promo code GARBAGE BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/garbage Liquid I. V: Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://liquid-iv.com and get 20% off your first order with code GARBAGE at checkout. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Oh yeah.

• 0:06H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:10H. Foley?

  Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:13H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's and a new addition. She's upstairs in her room watching a little Rockford Files.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:21H. Foley?

  Loves that James Garner.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 0:23H. Foley?

  It's a very popular show in the seventies, Kevin. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world and I love him. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, uh, full video available over there on Spotify and the boys are climbing the charts, baby.

• 0:44H. Foley?

  That's actually true this week.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Uh, and then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

• 0:52H. Foley?

  Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a legendary stand-up comedian, actor and podcaster, and you might've seen him in But Not Limited To. Now, I gotta hold this up. I don't know if my contact lenses is in, gang.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Strap in.

• 1:08H. Foley?

  But get ready for this. You got The Wayans Brothers.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:11H. Foley?

  Daddy Daycare. All right, you got Little Man, House of Pain, Who Made The Potato Salad? Which has been brought up multiple times on this here program as one of the funniest movies ever. Think Like A Man, Meet The Blacks, Undercover Brother 2, BET Comic View, the Soul Train Awards, Good Morning America, The Late Show, Rachel Ray, Steve Harvey, Hip Hop Squares, Wildin' Out, The D.L. Hughley Show, Maury, The Breakfast Club. He has his own podcast, Get Something Near Every Week, and his specials include... You ready for this?

• 1:44Speaker 01

  This guy's a goddamn worker.

• 1:45H. Foley?

  Broken Family, Black Famous, Doing What I Do, I Got My Associates, I Agree With Myself, True Story, Breaking Out The Park, uh, and he's on his tour right now, the No Hard Feelings Tour. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only Gary Owen.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  So really accomplished.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  You should.

• 2:04H. Foley?

  Man, I'm sweating after that.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  He hasn't read that much in 20 years.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  I know, right?

• 2:08H. Foley?

  Buddy, we are fucking huge fans.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Big fans, man. Appreciate you coming out.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  No, this is awesome.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  That's, um, you know, what's, so yeah, what's, what's the background a little bit?

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, give us the, uh, give us the backstory of the origin story. We know it's been covered a little bit, but we want to, we want to hear it.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Ohio, boy.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Cincinnati, uh...

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Cincinnati proper or outskirts of Cincinnati?

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Outskirts. Well, at the beginning, it was Cincinnati proper.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  It's got an outskirts vibe, okay.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  I always say it's depending on who my mom was dating. Cause you're kind of moving around, right?

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Strike number one on the show. Welcome to the show.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  And then, uh, I was 10, we moved into a trailer park outside of Cincinnati.

• 2:43H. Foley?

  Where were you before that? Like, what kind of a, what kind of housing?

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Apartments. Apartment hopping. Uh, we had a little, little house at one point, but nothing big. Pretty much apartments. And then, uh, trailer park, a small town called Hamilton, Ohio, which is right outside of Oxford, Ohio, which is Miami, Ohio.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  If you're on the outskirts of an outskirts, that's pretty bad.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, um, joined the Navy when I was 17. Was in the Navy for six years and then, uh, started doing stand-up when I was in the Navy. So I always knew I wanted to be a stand-up. I just didn't know how do you do it?

• 3:14Speaker 01

  What it was. Yeah, exactly.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  So how do you, I was like, how do you do that? So you guys remember Ray Combs? Used to host Family Feud, committed suicide?

• 3:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Like in the 90s?

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Oh, man, we are in, we are in it right now, yeah.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Right? So, he had a comedy club in Cincinnati and it was a funny bone, but I think he owned it. And I used to go, like, my senior year of high school and then when I was in the Navy, when I would come home on leave, I'd go to this comedy club and sit outside and I was too young to get in at first. And I'd listen to comics outside at the door.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  No shit.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  So I can just imagine who was coming through there at that time. Talking early 90s. So, I just remember I'd be rating them and I'd never been on stage yet. I'd be like this, "Oh, that guy's terrible." Or I'd be like, "Oh, that guy's really good."

• 3:57Speaker 01

  That guy's a hack.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, like, "Oh, that guy's going places."

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  And so, I was like, I would sit there. And then, but there was a funny, because there was a, there was a, a black door guy. I just remember he had a ball head, had a big hoop earring, almost like a black Mr. Clean.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  But he would always ask like, "What are you doing here?" I was like, "I'm a stand-up. I've never been on stage before."

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Love the confidence.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  He would sit me, he got so cool with me, he'd sit me at his little high-top that he'd sit in the back of the room. And he'd always like, bring me Pepsis and burgers, and I didn't have any money.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  And we'd be back there rating comics.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Two guys never been on stage.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  This guy's terrible. This guy's awful.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  But you're not, you want the, you know, you want the staff's validation.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  A lot of times, because they've seen everybody.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Everybody.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  And they've seen everybody 20 times. So it's like, if you can get the waiters and the waitresses laughing, that's a good.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think, you know, it's an underrated part of our business. And I think it means a lot to me personally, is when the waitstaff comes up and thanks you at the end of the week. I've literally had a waitress come and goes, "You paid my rent." For the month.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  We've gotten that as well, and it's very nice.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  It feels great. We've got a lot of boozers in our crowd.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, you guys do? No. I've known you guys five minutes. No, you serious?

• 5:08H. Foley?

  Let's go back to your childhood. Is it just, is it just you and your mom? Are you an only child?

• 5:12Speaker 02

  For a while, it was me and my mom. And then, um, then she got married, this dude named Rodney. It's never a good name. Rodney's never...

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Rodney and Randy's are bad news.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Look.

• 5:24H. Foley?

  I assume you didn't get along with Rodney?

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 5:27H. Foley?

  The way you said that.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Listen. If you, if those of you that don't have kids yet, don't name your son Rodney. Because as an adult, you will get this phone call, "Hey, you hear what happened to Rodney?"

• 5:39H. Foley?

  I grew up with Rodney. He was a good friend of mine. Shout out to Rodney Klein. He's a good kid.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  What's he doing now?

• 5:44H. Foley?

  Caught him in a hot rod. He's a, he's a, uh...

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Making something up is what you're doing.

• 5:51H. Foley?

  He's a gym and health teacher at a very, at a very good high school.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Well, that...

• 5:55H. Foley?

  Does very well.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  That's the only halfway-successful Rodney I've ever heard of.

• 5:58H. Foley?

  Now, I will say this. Rodney as a stepdad is a tough look.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:03H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:04H. Foley?

  What's up, Rodney?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  So, yeah, that was a bad look. From job, from job. I was like, "God, this guy."

• 6:12H. Foley?

  And how long, were you in the trailer park from 10 till when you left for the Navy?

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  And was Rodney in there with you?

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:19H. Foley?

  Did Rodney have kids?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  He had one daughter, but she didn't live with us.

• 6:22H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  That was Michelle. Michelle was cool though.

• 6:25H. Foley?

  Man, you are a mess.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Michelle was cool.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Dude, if there's anybody built for this show, it's Mr. Owen.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  And then they had, my mom and Rodney had three kids.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Really? Alright.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  And then, uh, and then my dad, who I didn't really know that much, he had twins.

• 6:40H. Foley?

  At the same time, around the same time?

• 6:42Speaker 02

  Uh, no, a little bit after. I was so, my mom and dad had me in high school, so I was so much older than, I'm not, than all my brothers and sisters.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  So much older, so I don't have that whole, "We grew up together, it was a rough house," and I don't have those stories.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  What's the biggest gap, I'm sorry, between you and a sibling?

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Uh, 19 years. 19, so.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  When you were, when Rodney and your mom had the three kids?

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:11H. Foley?

  Were all five of you living in that trailer?

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:15H. Foley?

  Double wide?

• 7:16Speaker 02

  No, that'd be six. Three, Rodney, my mom and me. Six of us.

• 7:19H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  And then his, his daughter would come in every now and then. We're seven.

• 7:24H. Foley?

  So, yeah, break that down.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Where's everybody sleep?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Well, I, it was funny.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  You're looking at me like I'm crazy. Like this is a normal story.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  So I had my own room, which was wild. Mom and Rodney had their room, obviously. So, uh, the other three was in, in the other room. Cause they were, they were close today. They're bunk beds.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 7:44H. Foley?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  And the two boys slept together, and then my sister slept on the.

• 7:47H. Foley?

  That's not bad. What were the vacations like growing up?

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Oh, there's no vacations in the trailer park.

• 7:52H. Foley?

  Not one vacation.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Hold on. One vacation, we were in Cocoa Beach, Florida.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  And I saw my first hooker. I'll never forget it, cause Rodney had an Uncle Frederick. And it just by chance, Uncle Frederick woke me up and goes, hey, we went for a ride on the beach and stuff. And then I saw this guy walking in the gas station, get one of them tall boy Budweisers. And I go, it's awful early for a beer.

• 8:17H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  He had two of them. He went in the car and this girl was like sitting outside the car and he handed her the beer and she was smoking a cigarette. And he looked like the happiest guy on the planet. Fast forward, like six hours later, we're driving around Cocoa Beach and I see that girl in the middle of the road. And I go, hey, Frederick, that's the girlfriend again. He goes, oh, she hookin'. She hookin'. I go, what? I'm 10. Like, what does that mean?

• 8:43H. Foley?

  Mitch, do you need a ride back to the gas station to find your husband?

• 8:46Speaker 02

  I go, that's the first hooker I ever saw. Cocoa Beach.

• 8:51H. Foley?

  Wait, you stayed?

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Was Rodney white or black?

• 8:54Speaker 02

  White.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Okay, I did not think that.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  No, Rodney's white, but he had, he had every black.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Cause Uncle Frederick sounded black.

• 9:00H. Foley?

  You got a lot of balls asking that. I wanted to know.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  He, but he, Rodney had every bad black stereotype. Every time you, every stereotype black people that get upset about, I go, that's Rodney. No job. I'm talking in and out of jail.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  I know, I know the stereotype.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Oh my God, dude. So when black people was like.

• 9:24H. Foley?

  Too much seasoning.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  I was like this. I was like, wait a minute, that's Rodney.

• 9:29H. Foley?

  Wait, the vacation was, you guys drove to Cocoa Beach, Florida?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  From Cincinnati.

• 9:34H. Foley?

  From Cincinnati.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:35H. Foley?

  Which you didn't pick up on that, Kevin, they drove.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  I paid. Drove, no air conditioning. Talk about hell.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  What kind of, what was the family car at that time? Do you remember?

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Station wagon, but it was like a, a blue one that was like, I don't know, I'm sure it was a P.

• 9:47H. Foley?

  Who drove? Your mom or Rodney?

• 9:49Speaker 02

  They, they switched off and on. They switched off and on.

• 9:52H. Foley?

  And you stayed at his uncle's?

• 9:54Speaker 02

  Uncle Frederick's.

• 9:54H. Foley?

  Uncle Frederick's. I assume this wasn't on the beach?

• 9:57Speaker 02

  No, it's there.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  This guy's just a bit inland.

• 10:00H. Foley?

  On the outskirts, as you might say, Mr. Owen.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  They couldn't see water for a minute.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Was, that when I, when I, I was like, why did we move into the trailer? I guess the plan was Rodney, um, painted, right? Like, not, not like.

• 10:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  No, like, um.

• 10:18H. Foley?

  What do you think he's doing still life? He paints houses.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  No, he was, no, he would paint like signs and stuff.

• 10:24H. Foley?

  Oh, really? Okay.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  So he was halfway, he, he was talented in that aspect.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  Uncle Frederick was also a painter, so it clearly was a family trait. The plan was, I found out later, so how do we get stuck in this trailer? Rodney convinced my mom, because Rodney didn't have a job,

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  to get the trailer, and then we'll move the trailer down to Cocoa Beach, and he's gonna start this sign business with Uncle Frederick.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Not bad, not bad.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  That's why we took the vacation. Well, Uncle Frederick died a year later after we moved to Cocoa Beach, so that went away.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  Alright. He didn't get anything from Uncle Frederick's estate?

• 10:59Speaker 02

  No. He got some brushes, some paint brushes. Two gallons. A primer.

• 11:10H. Foley?

  Had to go down and get them. Alright, so he painted, he would paint like, like in the front window, like if it's Christmas time.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that type of stuff.

• 11:17H. Foley?

  I love that kind of stuff, alright. Fair enough. What did your mom do for work?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Uh, worked at a factory.

• 11:23H. Foley?

  She worked at a factory? What kind of factory?

• 11:25Speaker 02

  It was called Connectors. I don't know what they connected. But it was called Connectors. It looked like one of the factories from an officer and a gentleman.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Way to go, Paula. Way to go. That's what reminded me of when I would go visit her at work.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  Rodney walking in and carrying her out?

• 11:39Speaker 02

  Well, that's where they met. Rodney worked there.

• 11:41H. Foley?

  Really?

• 11:41Speaker 02

  And they met at Connectors.

• 11:43H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  And then he quit, because he can't handle people telling him what to do.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  He was one of the guys that would try to fight and argue with everybody. So, he quit, but he met my mom there.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:54H. Foley?

  That is like Officer and a Gentleman. That's wild.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  And how long did they stay together? Are they still?

• 11:58Speaker 02

  They're still together.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  They're still together? I did not see that coming. Good for, shout out Rodney.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  How are the kids doing?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Okay, we're about to get dark?

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, whatever, go for it.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  One brother died, heroin overdose.

• 12:10H. Foley?

  Sorry.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry to hear that.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Other brother was dealing and using, and he, he got, they found him in the parking lot of a Myers grocery store. He was, he got beat up really bad by some drug dos he ripped off. So he's got like the brain of a four-year-old now.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Geez. Sorry to hear that.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  And then I got my sister. She's a, she's a kindergarten teacher.

• 12:31H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 12:32H. Foley?

  Is, are they still in the trailer?

• 12:34Speaker 02

  No, they're in a house now.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  Nice. Alright.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  So, but I don't, I don't talk to any of them anymore.

• 12:39H. Foley?

  Anybody at all?

• 12:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 12:41H. Foley?

  Mom, Rodney, nobody.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Not even the parents?

• 12:43Speaker 02

  No.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Hey, good for you.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it got, it got...

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I had a similar situation. Sticky, good for you.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  It got sticky in 2014. I did an article for BuzzFeed, BuzzFeed.com. And they were, the article was about how did a white guy become one of the top black comics in this country? That was what the article was about.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  One paragraph of an eight-page article that you can look up, go to BuzzFeed, you can look it up, is about Rodney. And all they said was, the, the guy that did the article, he went back and interviewed, he interviewed my mom, he interviewed like my principal, old military buddies, just all these people at different stages of my life. Rodney wouldn't get on the phone. He goes, dude, your stepdad won't get on the phone. And I said, oh, he's an asshole.

• 13:27H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  He's an asshole. He's not getting on the phone. Well, he put that in the article.

• 13:31H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Which I don't, I didn't care.

• 13:32H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  And then, um, when it came out,

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Rodney didn't like it.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  That's when my mom and Rodney went left. My mom especially, because I kind of, the family secret got let out. Rodney's an asshole. But everybody knows he's an asshole.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  They're not gonna like this program.

• 13:44H. Foley?

  That's what he was worried about?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  And then...

• 13:46H. Foley?

  Buzz, how did your mom find BuzzFeed?

• 13:48Speaker 02

  I don't know, but then my...

• 13:49H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  I got 20 bucks that Rodney don't have a computer to read BuzzFeed.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, my mom, I just remember my mom texted me saying, you know, how could you do this to us? You know, you don't know all the emails I'm getting. And, you know, the sarcasm just came out at the wrong time. So I looked at my mom, I said, mom, let's be honest, two or three emails. It wasn't a bunch. I go, look at the article, there's literally like 16 comments.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  It's also like, there's such, there's so much positive about you achieving stuff. And it's like you're, they get caught up on the one.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one thing. It's kind of like the family secret out though.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course, I get it.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 14:22H. Foley?

  What, that they're...

• 14:23Speaker 02

  That Rodney's an asshole?

• 14:25H. Foley?

  That's the family secret?

• 14:26Speaker 02

  That was the family, but everybody knows it.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  I know.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Well, I guarantee you, when he passes away, you could, you could, you could have had the funeral here. Nobody's showing up.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Um, back to child, were you a good student?

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Average.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Average, okay.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  I take a lot of pride, cause I think my, I remember my graduating class was, let's say 250 around there. And I was 125, and I remember telling people, I am the only guy that's in the top and bottom half.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Right, the meaty part of the curve.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Right in the middle, look at that, not showing off, not falling behind.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 15:00H. Foley?

  As George Costanza would say.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Average as could be, but I was pretty popular, I was prom king.

• 15:04H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 15:06H. Foley?

  Athlete?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  Nope, class clown.

• 15:09H. Foley?

  Class clown?

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Most obnoxious.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  I was really upset though, that I didn't get most likely to be famous, like it really bothered me. Cause I used to host all the talent shows, and it went to this guy named Chris Jones, who was going in the Air Force Academy. And I remember at graduation, I said, "Hey Chris, pilots are only famous when they wreck."

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  A little bit of Rodney Channel in there.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  A little bit of an asshole yourself.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Holy shit, I like it.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Hey man, you're protecting your environment.

• 15:37H. Foley?

  Whatever happened to the guy?

• 15:39Speaker 02

  I think he's a college professor now.

• 15:40H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  I think he ended up, he did well.

• 15:43H. Foley?

  You're way more famous.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  I don't even know that guy.

• 15:46H. Foley?

  You said you were the, you were the prom king?

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:48H. Foley?

  Uh, who'd you take to prom? Was it a date, or was it, did you go with friends?

• 15:52Speaker 02

  I wasn't going, I was gonna go to a Reds game, and then I got on prom court, so I had, kinda had to go.

• 15:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  So we just kinda found me a date.

• 16:01H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  And here's the funny part, cause all the girls were taken at my school. So everybody, I got phone calls from different girls and guys, like, "Go over here, date her." So they found this cute girl that went to another high school.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  She said she would go with me, it wasn't like I really asked, she just said, "Yeah, I'll go," right? So I didn't really know her. Well, here's the funny part. We go, she was cute, I was like, "Oh, she's cute." I thought we were vibing.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  I get the prom king, I'm like, "You know the king?"

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Come on, it doesn't, can't get better.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  I got the crown, the sash, I'm like, "What are we doing?"

• 16:30H. Foley?

  Little prima nocta.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  I'm thinking, we're making out, something. Yo, you go to prom, then after prom was at my buddy's house, and we went in the basement, and I'm not lying, there had to be eight couples, and they're all making out, holding on to each other, I'm going, "What's up?" And she goes, "Why am I go?" And I went, "What?" She left, right, I said, "Well," she says, "My brother lives whatever, I'mma wa-" I saw Walker, she goes, "No, no, no, you don't need to walk me," I was like, "Huh." So, fast forward seventeen, eighteen years later. The Funny Bone opens up in Cincinnati. Guess who my groom room waitress is?

• 17:04Speaker 01

  No shit.

• 17:05H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  The girl from prom.

• 17:07H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  And I went, I, she walked in, I go, I looked at her? And I'm like, she looks familiar, because I only met her once, really, one night.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  She kept looking, and I go, "Did I take you to prom?" And she's like, "No, no." And I go, "I think I did."

• 17:25Speaker 02

  And I go, "It's cool." And then she admitted to it, she goes, "I thought you think I was a bitch." And I go, "No, no, we were friggin' seventeen, I'm not tripping." She was cool, but I was just like, I kept looking, like, there's no way this is happening right now.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Talk about a full circle moment.

• 17:39H. Foley?

  That is full circle.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  And she felt bad, too, so, you know, she goes...

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Did she give you any reasoning why she bounced or anything?

• 17:45Speaker 02

  I mean, it's obvious, she wasn't attracted.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  I mean, I picked, I didn't want to...

• 17:48Speaker 02

  It's obvious, I can lie.

• 17:49H. Foley?

  You gotta rub it in the guy.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  It's obvious, she wasn't attracted to me.

• 17:53H. Foley?

  Specifically, did she say what it was she wasn't attracted to?

• 17:56Speaker 02

  No, I don't know.

• 17:57H. Foley?

  The hell's wrong with you?

• 17:57Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Sorry, I'm sorry.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  That's obvious.

• 18:00H. Foley?

  Hey, you really struck out there, Gary.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Bit of a loser, no.

• 18:05H. Foley?

  Can't believe something about Aura Frames. Aura, aura, aura, aura. Let's talk about Aura Frames. They got, they got the copy here, script one, the easiest gift to give. Let me tell you something, Aura Frames, we don't need the script.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  We're going off script.

• 18:17H. Foley?

  We're going off script, because these things sell themselves. You don't walk in a lot unless you want to buy, and you better get over there to the Aura Frames lot, because they're the best in the biz. Digital frame.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Guys, the big man ain't friggin' lying. We've said it once, we've said it a million times.

• 18:36H. Foley?

  My favorite thing.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  We're two bozos, always been bozos. You got Christmas, you, Christmas, all these holidays, birthdays, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day. Take the thought process out. We are not sweet, kind people, we're idiots. Aura Frames makes us sweet and kind. "Oh my God, you got us to picture frame and you preloaded it with pictures of the baby."

• 18:57H. Foley?

  Do you know...

• 18:58Speaker 01

  "And our vacation, our anniversary."

• 18:59H. Foley?

  What you look like when you, when you ship one of these things? When you come in with an Aura Frame and you're...

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Talking about a Carver Mat Frame?

• 19:06H. Foley?

  And you're a dirtball.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:07H. Foley?

  Your grandmother will, she'll drop dead of a heart attack right there. Then you got more pictures.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Hopefully you're in a will. Uh, they number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $35 off their best selling Carver Matte Frame with the code garbage. That's aura, A-U-R-A, frames dot com, promo code garbage. Support the show by, by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Know it.

• 19:31H. Foley?

  Love you. Gang, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:34H. Foley?

  We know it's February. We know Valentine's Day is coming up. A lot of times you see other couples and you think, oh, they have it together.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Especially on that Instagram.

• 19:42H. Foley?

  And they have the perfect life and all that stuff. Listen, everybody's just as fucked up as everybody. Okay? And if you're going through something you haven't figured out, you know, you know, your soulmate or relationship trouble or anything like that, talk therapy can help. So get on BetterHelp, get yourself straightened out.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Yes. Ta, you find your own way. Not everybody's way is up for you. Uh, listen, everybody's got different tests when it comes to, not even romantic life, job, personal goals, family, whatever it is. Uh, you can take the pressure off yourself with talk therapy. It's like releasing a little, releasing the, releasing the, the, the pressure valve in your head.

• 20:17H. Foley?

  Get it out, man. Get it out.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Bleed the lines as they.

• 20:19H. Foley?

  Bleed the line.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  As they say in HVAC. Bleed them, baby. Uh, right now, uh, you could sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/garbage. One more time. That's betterhelp.com/garbage. Take, take the steps to find your way today. Put that in your pipe and bike down.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  What was your first job?

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Uh, picking strawberries. Strawberry farm.

• 20:45H. Foley?

  Dude, who are you?

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 20:47H. Foley?

  First of all, you don't, you, you weren't going to go to prom, you were going to go to a Reds game.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  And then one prom game.

• 20:52H. Foley?

  Just the way you said Reds.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:54H. Foley?

  You're garbage.

• 20:57H. Foley?

  I never think I've ever like really met a Cincinnati Reds fan. Shout out to them, I love them.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Die hard.

• 21:02H. Foley?

  Wow, man.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  No, I, um, there was a strawberry farm and, um.

• 21:08H. Foley?

  In Ohio?

• 21:09Speaker 02

  This is right after my freshman year of high school, so going to sophomore, so I was 14, 15.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Um, but I got really good at it because, you know, the strawberries, strawberries are real low, the plants are low. So what we would do, we had these trays and you could fit eight quarts on a tray, so 16 quarts, right? So I would, you, I gotta, I would get elbow pads and knee pads because I'm crawling, I'm not getting up and I would twist them and pick, twist and pick them and you fill it up, take them in. So I think we got 35 cents a quart.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  If I remember correctly, I could go through, I could do 32 quarts an hour. What's that, like 11 bucks an hour, right?

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, something like that.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  What's 0.35 times 32?

• 21:50H. Foley?

  Doing strawberry math right now.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  11, 1120.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  1120 an hour.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  It's not bad.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  That's pretty good.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  14, 15 year old.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  That's great. That's more than what I was making before this took off.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  But I was, I was, I was good, I was quick and then, um, it was literally, it was on a farm and the, the, the farmer's wife, they were a little older. She would always come out, it was like, I don't know, they had this big old tree and a picnic table and all of us would go lunch and she'd always make these like great like chicken salad or tuna salad sandwiches and she had the iced tea with the whole.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  The big glass cups and the big glass.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  With like lemon and stuff.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  It was like, I was like, lunch was amazing.

• 22:31H. Foley?

  That's like a John Steinbeck novel.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:33H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  And then we always got paid under the table on Fridays was payday and the girl that paid us would give you, she'd give you your money and she'd give you a payday candy bar to go with it. She was like, it's payday. So it was kind of a cool job.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  That's adorable.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  That's so cute.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:47H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? I was gonna start trashing you. Like you couldn't find a busboy job somewhere?

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I was.

• 22:52H. Foley?

  Rapes of Wrath?

• 22:54Speaker 02

  I had so much money because I was like, at that age.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  Because I was, man, I was there before the sun came up because you want to get a couple hours before the sun came up because once the sun came up, you know, July, August, hot. So you get a couple hours in and then lunch and then, um, you know. It was easier when it was dark out.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:12H. Foley?

  Jesus, that is something else. What'd you get in the SATs?

• 23:16Speaker 02

  I never took it.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  You do ACTs?

• 23:18Speaker 02

  No, never took either one.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  How'd you get in the military? Don't they, isn't that something they check now?

• 23:22Speaker 02

  Just ASVAB tests is all you take for the military.

• 23:24H. Foley?

  You just gotta have a high school diploma, right?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 23:26H. Foley?

  Um, was that your way out, I assume?

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, my senior high school, uh, I would say December, around Christmas time, um. My best friend, still my best friend to this day, he had already joined the Navy. He literally woke me up on a Saturday morning and he was like, Gary, get up, get up, get up. And I go, huh? Still to this day, I don't know how he got in the trailer. Like my mom and Rod had to let him in. And like, what are you doing? He goes, he literally got me and he goes, you gotta get out of here. You gotta get out. I said, what are you talking about? He goes, what are you doing? After high school, I go, I figured it out. I always said I was gonna be a comedian, right? He goes, you gotta get out. So him and his dad drove me down to the recruiting station. And I met with the Marines, the Army and the Navy. They're, I don't know where the Air Force and Coast Guard was, but they wasn't in that building. So I met with all three and the Navy guy was the most honest. And I was like, that seems the safest too.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  And I told him, I said, I'm not big on outside. Like, I don't wanna be outside painting a ship, cause I heard horror stories.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Unless you got a strawberry field that I'm all in.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  I know, but I wanna be in the desert with guns at me. I go, what? He goes, dude, we got so many jobs in air conditioning. So I was like, alright. So I, uh, I joined the Navy. But that's why I joined, cause I was like, and then I was like, alright, I thought you had to become a stand-up, you had to live in California, live in LA. I didn't know you could start whatever town you live in.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  So I was like, who's, who's got the most bases? I go, I think Navy is on the coast, so I can get to California. I'll, I'll be alright.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  So that's how I joined the Navy and the rest is history.

• 24:50H. Foley?

  Where were you stationed?

• 24:51Speaker 02

  First duty station was Washington DC. I was an honor guard. So we were like, um, you see the funerals and the parades?

• 24:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Spinning the rifles.

• 24:59H. Foley?

  That's what you were doing? From Jump Street?

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, because when I was in boot camp, I was gonna be what they call yeoman, which is basically a secretary, right?

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  They said anybody over six feet tall with a 34 inch waist, come down to the field house. So I was 6'2", I was skinny. Went down there and they did this whole video of what the honor guard's about and it makes you just be like, every guy wanted to join.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  So everybody signed up. Four of us made it. Only four of like a hundred guys.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  Because what we didn't know... They were doing background checks on you because you're on the White House lawn. You're really close to the president.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  They can't have somebody freaking out. So I didn't know.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Somebody going rogue.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, right? So I didn't know they were doing all this because, you know, we did this like the second week of boot camp. Boot camp's eight weeks. So it was like the week before. So it was five weeks later. They said, Gary, you made it. I said, made what? I forgot all about it. They go, the honor guard, do you still want to go? I was like, oh, yeah. So I didn't know they went back and checked like police records. They interviewed like the, the chief of police.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  My principal, all these people. I didn't know.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  They vet you, yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  They vet you. And then I got in and then, then when you get to DC, you, uh, there's like maybe sixty guys. I think less than twenty made it the whole two years. Because you do anything wrong, you're out. Any drunk and disorderly, uh, something, smart mouthed cop pulling you over, you're gone.

• 26:31H. Foley?

  So what exactly did you do? Like the, the military funerals at Arlington Cemetery?

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, that type of stuff.

• 26:36H. Foley?

  You would do the, the thing?

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, the, those are called body bearers. The body bearers carry the casket. It depends on your body type. So body bearers were the bulky ones. They would do this. And then the drill team was like, like the Navy SEALs of, of.

• 26:50H. Foley?

  Could you flip the guns around and shit?

• 26:53Speaker 02

  I could, but I wasn't on the drill team. You, you learned the basic movements of the rifle.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Tight, yeah, yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Tight, you know, but you don't, I'm not the whole throwing it this way, catching it with a bayonet. That was the drill team.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  That's, I didn't do that. But I did, um, yeah, we did the funeral, we did the inauguration for Clinton.

• 27:09H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 27:09Speaker 01

  Been to the White House?

• 27:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're on the White House lawn.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I'm just saying, you might have probably the first guest that's been to the White, at White House.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Well, we never went in. We're on the lawn. And then they had a little shack we used to hang out. But we, so when you, what happens is when you get to DC, you got this thing called trainer platoon.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  You never popped in once? They never let you in?

• 27:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  With the lunch and the iced tea?

• 27:29Speaker 02

  No, nothing like that. Billy, it's me, Garrett.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  So it was all Clinton, yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  What was cool about it, though, was like, so when you get DC, you got this thing called Trainee Platoon, which is another two months of training to become a Guardsman, right? But then when you cross, so they say you cross, so you cross, you get a jacket, and they give you a nickname, my nickname is Smiley, because I was always smiling, and the back of the jacket says, "US Navy Presidential Honor Guard," and it has the seal on it. So you wear that everywhere, you're trying to get girls with it, right? You'd be at the mall, just hanging out, and...

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Vibing, dude.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  When you went to the White House, they always had M&M's. Put the White House with the presidential seal on it, right? We would take those M&M's, put it in our bag, and you know, you'd be, you'd just sit there in the mall with your jacket and the M&M's, like...

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Hopping them, yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Just trying to meet girls. "What are you doing?"

• 28:20H. Foley?

  That's a...

• 28:21Speaker 02

  "I was at Pennsylvania Avenue today."

• 28:22Speaker 01

  No big deal.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Not a big deal. Yeah, Dick Cheney smells like Old Spice.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  Does he?

• 28:28Speaker 02

  He does.

• 28:28H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 28:32H. Foley?

  Wait, so how long did you do that?

• 28:33Speaker 02

  Two, two years.

• 28:34H. Foley?

  Two years, and then where'd they send you?

• 28:37Speaker 02

  San Diego.

• 28:38H. Foley?

  Okay, not bad.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  So, two years in Honor Guard, if you make it two years through the Honor Guard, you get to either, this time, pick your duty station, or pick your job that you qualify for.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  So, I was like, I just wanted to make some money, and I wanted to get to the West Coast, and they was like, I was like, mastered arms, which is a cop, they just opened it up. So I was like, "Oh yeah, I'll do that." So I went to the Police Academy in San Antonio.

• 29:04H. Foley?

  What?

• 29:04Speaker 02

  And then I got stationed out in San Diego.

• 29:07H. Foley?

  Wait, was it a Navy Police Academy?

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, Navy Police Academy.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  But it's regular Police Academy. The Police Academy is...

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Police on the base, though?

• 29:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, bases, we have base housing, we have nightclubs. We have everything except, we don't get a lot of murders, obviously. But you get domestic violence, you get DUIs, it's every, it's a little city, self-enclosed, but you know everybody.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  So you're not pulling over a guy you don't know. You're pulling over like, "Bro, what are you doing?"

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Rodney, you again?

• 29:36H. Foley?

  Oh shit, that's awesome.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  That's why I let everybody go, because I knew everybody. Like, everybody I got.

• 29:40H. Foley?

  Gary's numbers were terrible.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Gary, you gotta write one ticket.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  I know, right?

• 29:46H. Foley?

  And then you did that until when your five years were up?

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did that for four years and then I was, I was out. But I started doing stand-up while I was in the Navy. So when I got stationed in San Diego, I was like, "All right, I'm gonna get in the phone book, I'm showing my age," and started looking up comedy clubs.

• 30:00H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  My first day in San Diego, I would call this place called The Comic Castle.

• 30:05H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  And I said, "Hey, um, how's it going, man? You got Open Mic?" The guy goes, "Hold on, let me check." And I went, "Huh?" Comes back, he goes, "I can't find him." I said, "What? What are you talking about?" He goes, "I can't find him." I go, "Women, is this a comedy club?" He goes, "No, this is a comic book store." He was looking for a superhero named Open Mic.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  And then he gave me the number to the comedy store, though. I said, "Dude, if you're trying to be a stand-up, call the comedy store." So, called the comedy store, Open Mic was Sunday nights.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Is this the La Jolla one?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, La Jolla.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  We'd love that room.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Great room.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Open Mic was Sunday nights and went up the first Sunday and did about as bad as you can do.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Been there, daddy-o.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Because...

• 30:46H. Foley?

  Was there last night?

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Well, I did bad because I was, I was 20, so I wasn't of age. So, you know, Open Mic, I'd never been to one of these. I'm going up at like 1:00 in the morning, at this point, there's 10 people in the audience, but there's still 20 comics in the back. The comics aren't heckling, but they're doing what comics do to disrupt you. So if I would do like a setup, they'd be like, "Ha!" But wouldn't let me get through the point, I'm going like this. And I could hear them like, every, they wouldn't let me get through a joke. And I only got these five minutes, I've been working out my brain, I don't, I can't go right or left. So I just remember I had a beer in my hand, and I said, "Hey, all you comics in the back!" I go, "Go ahead and keep yelling out and heckling." I go, "I'm only 20 years old, I've been drinking in this place all night, why don't I call the cops and shut this motherfucker down?"

• 31:36Speaker 02

  When I say the lights went off, the mic went off, two guys came out of nowhere, grabbed me by the back of my shirt and literally winged me out of the front door. I did like a front roll.

• 31:47H. Foley?

  I'm a cop, goddammit.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Get your hands off.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  There was a guy named Fred, who, he had the crutches. He won America's, um, he won the hundred thousand dollars on America's Funniest Home Videos back in the day. He was the GM of the place. I just remember he has little crutches and he stood over and he goes, "Don't ever come back." And I was like, so I got up, I dusted myself off and I went, "All right, I can't come back here, but I know I can talk shit." So I took a little solace out of it. So it took me about, almost a year to get back on stage because I didn't know where else to go. So then, a couple of guys in the Navy, I started talking to them about it and they was like, "Man, you can go here, here," but it was, it was black guys I was hanging out with. So it was all black rooms. A lot of white comics didn't want to go there.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  So that's really what got me started and quote unquote being in all the black shows and everything.

• 32:36H. Foley?

  And to Gary Owen.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  I love it. But that's where it started. And then Wednesdays though, there was a place called El Torito, they did karaoke on Wednesday nights. So I would start going there and tell jokes instead of singing songs.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  It's always crazy to me.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  It came kinda cool because the first day was a little rough, but I was ready because I already got, I already got kicked out of Comedy Store. So this is like, it's probably eight months later, I'm getting the nerve to go back on stage. But I remember thinking, "All right, I already know what to do now, so just power through your jokes, they're probably not gonna be paying attention, you're good." So mentally I was ready. Karaoke, the bar's in the same room as the, the microphone, so I was like, I fought through all the chatter, got a couple laughs, I go, "Okay, I'm in the game now." And then I kept going back on Wednesdays.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  Did you tell them you were gonna do jokes?

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I told the guy.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  It got to a point.

• 33:26H. Foley?

  What music do you want, sir? I don't need any music.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  No, I did, straight up. But he brought me up right. It got to a point.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  Where, months later, people would get quiet. Cause they'd be like, "Oh, this is the funny dude. He gonna tell jokes." And it was kinda cool because they'd be like, literally the host would be like, "All right, you guys, I know what time it is. Gary's here." And then I started bringing other comics. You know what I mean? It became like half karaoke, half comedy.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  But here's the crazy part about San Diego.

• 33:58H. Foley?

  That guy was black, right?

• 33:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, that guy was black. His name was Randy.

• 34:04H. Foley?

  Dude.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Randy's every time.

• 34:06H. Foley?

  So, you know what time it is, man.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Here's the cool part about that timeframe.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  Nothing better than that.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  I got back into the Comedy Store. I went back and humbled myself and apologized. Just said, man, I was getting heckled. I'm really sorry, da-da-da. He goes, alright.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Big of ya.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  He goes, come back Sunday. Same guy Fred. He goes, I'm gonna put you up for five minutes and let's see what you got. So I went for five minutes. I got off. He goes, alright Gary, you're good. You know. Well, when I would do the, when I would do the Comedy Store and got to know all those comics, Bobby Lee was there, open miking.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Shout out Bobby Lee, yeah.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  When I would do the Black Rooms, Nick Cannon was there. So those were the two.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Comics in my world at that time that, that hit. There was obviously a ton of the open micers that didn't hit.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  There's a chance you could have been a Korean comic if you didn't, if you chose to follow the Nick Cannon, yeah.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, or Mayor Mariah Carey, one of the other.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 34:56H. Foley?

  Alright. Man, what a tale.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  That's fucking nuts.

• 34:58H. Foley?

  Let's talk about now. Where are you living now?

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Houston.

• 35:01H. Foley?

  You live in Houston?

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Houston, Texas.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  That's a black ass city too.

• 35:08H. Foley?

  Kind of car do you drive?

• 35:09Speaker 02

  Seventy-five Cadillac.

• 35:14H. Foley?

  How's your sugar?

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Not good.

• 35:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Same with ours. Um, okay.

• 35:20H. Foley?

  You live in Houston.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  How long, yeah, how long you been in Houston?

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Five years.

• 35:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Houston proper or outskirts?

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Always outskirts.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Always outskirts. That's a little nicer. I'm sure the suburb.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  It's Sienna.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:32H. Foley?

  A suburb, not the outskirts.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  There's a difference between the suburbs and the outskirts.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  That's the suburbs.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  It's a good neighborhood.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I figured you're doing quite well.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  There's no Rodney's in the neighborhood.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  You're doing quite well.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  Um.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:43H. Foley?

  You got a pool at the house?

• 35:45Speaker 02

  It's being built right now.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  Be ready, middle of March.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Let's go. Was, did you build the house or bought the house?

• 35:51Speaker 02

  Built the house.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  You built the house.

• 35:52H. Foley?

  Look at ya. See? This is what we're talking about.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 35:57H. Foley?

  This is what we're talking about.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Alright, what, alright, so the pools are pretty big.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, big deal.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Nice pools are a pretty big subject. We don't have them, but. Um, are you doing salt water or freshwater?

• 36:08H. Foley?

  I believe fresh. I'm not sure.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:10H. Foley?

  I gotta find out.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  In-ground pool, I assume.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 36:14H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Okay. Are you doing like, they call it the beach entry? Like where you can like walk?

• 36:18Speaker 02

  No sand.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  No, it's not sand, but you can walk, you can walk into it, rather than like you, you know what I mean?

• 36:23H. Foley?

  Not steps.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  There's no stairs. It's a gradual.

• 36:26H. Foley?

  Ah. It's a real highfalutin'.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is gradual.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, there is a drop off though at some point.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:31H. Foley?

  What's the, uh, is there a hot tub connected to it?

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:34H. Foley?

  Nice waterfall flows over.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:36H. Foley?

  Nice. Little outdoor setup?

• 36:38Speaker 02

  There is. Nice place to watch the game outside. And I always want, and this one was good because I always want the sunken area to watch the game.

• 36:46H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  This one's got the pool and then it's got the little sunken area that's covered because Houston's hot. And you can just watch the game out there, relax.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  What game are we talking? Is it?

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Football.

• 36:56H. Foley?

  Still a big Reds fan? Since any Reds?

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Well, I'm more football, I'm more a football guy now.

• 37:00H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  The Bengals are my, my team.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  Of course. Understandable.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Um, that overhang, the cover that covers it, you gotta, is there a fan?

• 37:07Speaker 02

  There will be a fan.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  That's.

• 37:09H. Foley?

  What did you build the house?

• 37:11Speaker 02

  Two years ago, we moved in.

• 37:13H. Foley?

  Two years ago, we moved in. Very nice.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:15H. Foley?

  All right.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  And what is the car? Day-to-day car?

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Mine's an Audi. I like, I like the, I got the S8. I like the Audi.

• 37:23H. Foley?

  And who's the other one?

• 37:25Speaker 02

  My, my lady, she's got the electric Escalade, the new one.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  The big one.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  We got the twins, so we needed SUV.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  I tried to sell her minivan, but she wasn't having it.

• 37:35H. Foley?

  Really?

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Mine's, minivans are nice.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  They're nice. They're so nice. I, if they were a little cooler.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  I ju, I just, I just, I'm trying to buy a bigger car.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  You know who had a minivan when he played in the NFL? A lot of people know this. Deion Sanders.

• 37:47H. Foley?

  Yeah. Shit.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  When he was in Baltimore. They said he always pulled up in the minivan that had rims on it and everything. It was, but when he opened it, it was like all tricked out and everything, but he has a minivan.

• 37:56H. Foley?

  Yeah. Wait, so you have twins? How old are the twins?

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Two.

• 37:59H. Foley?

  No kidding? Congratulations.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:01H. Foley?

  All right, so you got you, your lady, the Escalade, the Audi, the twins, the house, the pool's coming?

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:06H. Foley?

  Harry's killing it. Can't but something about Liquid IV.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Shout out to Liquid IV.

• 38:10H. Foley?

  We got a big alert from Liquid IV this week.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:12H. Foley?

  Dehydration.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:14H. Foley?

  Seven possible signs you might have mild dehydration.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  What are they?

• 38:19H. Foley?

  You're talking about fatigue.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  I'm tie-tie.

• 38:21H. Foley?

  Brain fog.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  I'm confused.

• 38:22H. Foley?

  Nausea.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  I'm gonna puke.

• 38:24H. Foley?

  Irrability.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  I got that.

• 38:25H. Foley?

  Yellow pee.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Dark yellow pee.

• 38:27H. Foley?

  We were just talking about that.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  That's no good.

• 38:28H. Foley?

  Listen, I'm going through a little dehydration thing myself.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 38:32H. Foley?

  Where the stakes are getting a little tight if I'm dehydrated. So. Do yourself a favor. Get over there, get your Liquid IV, get hydrated, baby.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, hydrate better than water alone and for longer. Uh, Liquid IV is scientifically formulated to help replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat or exercise. Three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drinks.

• 38:50H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Cause they're bozos.

• 38:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  Eight vitamins and nutrients in a single pack. Listen, we've been screaming it from the rafters for a long time.

• 38:57H. Foley?

  Got B3, B5, B6, B12.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  You take your little pouch, you open it up, you dump it in a bottle of water, you shake it up, you turn it over, turn yourself around, you do the hokey pokey and you hydrate yourself from the inside out. That's pretty good.

• 39:08H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  That did a bank cut the check.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Uh, right here, uh, you show up, you start to finish with hydration from Liquid IV. The hydration multiplier is, uh, sugar-free. You tear it, you pour it, you live more. Go to liquid-iv.com, get 20% off your first order with the code GARBAGE at checkout. That's 20% off your first order, code GARBAGE, liquid-iv.com. Hey there, bozos and homies. The Back on the Block Tour marches on. Get your tickets now for Austin, Texas, Tampa, Florida. We got Chicago, Illinois. We got Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville, Los Angeles for the Netflix is a Joke Festival. Get them tickets. Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and Denver. All tickets on sale, areyougarbage.com. Me and the big man do stand-up, then we close out playing AYG with the crowd. You've seen the clips, you love them. We'll see you there.

• 39:53H. Foley?

  Kim, it's like about Chime.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Chime.

• 39:55H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 39:59H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 40:00H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, "Hey, I wish I had Chime."

• 40:15Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after ya.

• 40:27H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, $5 for this, $10 for that. They got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding, fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash

• 40:46Speaker 01

  Back on the Chime card in a category of your choice like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Do it. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  What's, uh, what's a vacation look like now? Might be tough with the twins, but...

• 41:27Speaker 02

  No, we do though, I do, uh, I do the Bahamas twice a year. I do July 4th and I do Christmas at the Bahama.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  The Bahama, very nice.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  So I, I'm always there, cause nobody's working on Christmas. Nobody's working on July 4th. So we'll do the show July 3rd, the night before, and we'll do the show Christmas Eve. And I just go there twice a year. They take care of everything, the family, all the rooms. We bring our whole family, so they give me like seven, eight rooms. So we just spend July 4th and we spend Christmas in the Bahamas every year.

• 41:57H. Foley?

  Really? You do a show?

• 41:59Speaker 02

  One show.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  On July 3rd?

• 42:01Speaker 02

  And December 24th.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  That's old school working shit. Love that. That's, that's old road comic shit.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  And we get, but it's a beautiful resort.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Oh, wait, you do the show there?

• 42:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, at the resort. We're not leaving nowhere.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  I, I thought you were doing, like, that was the last show, then you go to the, then you're doing a show there.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  The resort is taking care of everything and we're there.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Aw, Gary!

• 42:23Speaker 02

  It's beautiful.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Love that.

• 42:25H. Foley?

  And that's your spot?

• 42:27Speaker 02

  That's the spot. And this is how it all came about. We were there on vacation, one July 4th, and one of the guys that worked there goes, "Gary Owen." I go, "Yeah," start talking, he goes, "Man, we got a brand new, like, jazz club. We bring musicians, we haven't had comedians." Hey, I said, he goes, "You should come." I said, "Shoot, call my manager." I was bullshitting with him. He calls some GM over. The guy comes over, we sit down, have a cup of coffee in a coffee shop, and he goes, "So do you want to go up?" And I go, "I mean, I can't do it for free." He goes, "Well, with the visas and work permits in the Bahamas, it would get complicated." He goes, "So I can't pay you, I can't really say you're here." He goes, "But..." You know, give me your account and I'll take care of everything. So he wiped out everything,

• 43:11Speaker 02

  the rooms, the food, the drink.

• 43:14H. Foley?

  So you're just on vacation. Do you want to go up? Like, do you want to?

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Like, there's an open mic.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Like a guest spot. But I'm in the resort.

• 43:21H. Foley?

  When was the hell, how long ago was this?

• 43:23Speaker 02

  This is last July.

• 43:24H. Foley?

  This is last July this happened?

• 43:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:26H. Foley?

  So they were doing comedy there?

• 43:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  No. There was just...

• 43:29Speaker 02

  It was just, they had a new jazz club that opened up that has a stage and a microphone, great acoustics.

• 43:35H. Foley?

  Right?

• 43:36Speaker 02

  So he was like, you want to do it? And since then, he's had other comics. That's the crazy part.

• 43:40H. Foley?

  How long were you gonna do? How long did you do? Wasn't a guest spot? Oh, so like, instead of having jazz, tonight, we're gonna have Gary Owen.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  And my opener is one of my best friends, so he opened up.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  He was with you?

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. We take family vacations together.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  I like how this...

• 43:53Speaker 02

  It worked out perfect.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  That's sick.

• 43:56H. Foley?

  Was it crowded?

• 43:57Speaker 02

  Sold out. Packed.

• 43:58H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 43:59Speaker 02

  It was only like, it only holds like 300.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Gary Owen.

• 44:02H. Foley?

  I know, but did they do that? Did they promote it right away? Say, hey?

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Just within the resort.

• 44:06H. Foley?

  They said Gary Owen was gonna be...

• 44:07Speaker 02

  Gary Owen's gonna be, he's gonna be here, whatever, Tuesday night, whatever night it was.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Meanwhile, you're at the pool bar during the day.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  During the day.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  Gary Owen.

• 44:13H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here. That's how it worked out.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  That is the classiest dirtbag shit I ever heard. You're on vacation, you're like, I don't want to pay for this fucking thing.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  Wipe it up. I'll do 45.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not doing shit.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  And now the whole family goes... When you guys realize, you know, the resorts say, Jack, I got the prize on everything. So we're eating like kings. We're drinking. They give me a cabana at the pool. They just took great care of us.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 44:38H. Foley?

  And so now every year, you go back to take great care of you. When you do Christmas there?

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Same deal.

• 44:42H. Foley?

  Well, what, where's the tree? You don't do a tree?

• 44:45Speaker 02

  In the room.

• 44:46H. Foley?

  You have a tree in the room?

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. They gave me the big room. They gave me a big room.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  He's not on the second floor, okay? He's doing, he's got...

• 44:53H. Foley?

  You got the Christmas tree in the resort room in the Bahamas.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  That's the classiest shit I ever heard.

• 44:59H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  That's man.

• 45:02H. Foley?

  That's not even classy trashy, that's just classy. Look at you.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Good for you, Garrett.

• 45:08H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  Good for you.

• 45:10H. Foley?

  Back to the house. What are the, uh, you got a Sub-Z, you got a Viking range, what are we working with in the kitchen?

• 45:15Speaker 01

  You got stainless steel appliances.

• 45:16H. Foley?

  Stainless steel appliances.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think.

• 45:19H. Foley?

  Dude, I just lived there. Is the refrigerator hidden? Can I, would I know it's the refrigerator?

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Okay. But does it, does it have like the, the, what am I trying, the cabinet doors on it?

• 45:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, like the.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  Like, does it match the cabinets?

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Oh, no, it doesn't match, it's silver, so it's steel.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  You see it, gotcha.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  It's a big steel.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 45:36H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Big steel.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Uh, I typically ask, you know, do you know how to tie a tie, but military, the whole, for sure. How many suits do you own, do you think?

• 45:47Speaker 02

  Six.

• 45:48H. Foley?

  Six suits?

• 45:49Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 45:50H. Foley?

  Anything we'd want to hear about? Armani? Anything like that?

• 45:54Speaker 02

  It's funny, I gotta, I listened to George Clooney right when I got in this business. He goes, "I've been on GQ's best dress list for 11 years, it's the same black suit. I just changed the undershirt and the tie." He goes, "They have no clue." I've had the same Versace suit for probably 15 years. You, you get it tailored. It doesn't, it is true, you get what you pay for. Cause the fact that I still wear the same black suit to just about every, any kind of black tie event, it's the same suit. And then sometimes, you know, bring the waist in, you bring the waist out, get the, you know, depends on what the style at that time.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  Tighten it up, cuff it up.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  But it's just like, it's the same suit. And I get other suits and I wear the black one though, I always go back to it. I'll get like a blue one, I'll go back to the black one.

• 46:40H. Foley?

  Who's cutting your hair these days?

• 46:42Speaker 02

  That's been an issue.

• 46:44H. Foley?

  Why?

• 46:44Speaker 01

  What the fuck, my shit up?

• 46:46H. Foley?

  You have no issues. You got the Christmas tree in the goddamn hotel room.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  I'm in Houston. Here's the problem with black barbers. They take a long time and it's an event.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  And I just like, I just want my haircut. I don't want my haircut and the phone comes out. And they're videotaping. I'm like, dude, I'm ready to go. And then they, sometimes they show up late. I'm going, oh my God. And the one guy is so good. Cuts me so right, but he's like, it's like a hundred and thirty-five dollars. I go, dude, what are we doing right now? So I have, I got a great barber I know in Pittsburgh. I got a great barber I know in Cincinnati. They're different cities, but Houston, I haven't found the person yet.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 47:26H. Foley?

  How often do you get in your haircut?

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Uh, every two, two and a half weeks.

• 47:31H. Foley?

  Where'd you, where'd you get the haircut last time?

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Uh, these Mexican guys in Houston.

• 47:35H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  But.

• 47:36H. Foley?

  Just like a regular shop?

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Here's what happened. I went to New Orleans, got my haircut in New Orleans right for, right after Christmas. And the guy.

• 47:45H. Foley?

  Were you just in New, you were in New Orleans working?

• 47:47Speaker 02

  First show.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  And how do you link up with that guy?

• 47:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  I asked the GM of the building. I was at a theater. And I said, I gotta get a haircut. You know where I can get a haircut? And she was like.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  This guy's fucking awesome.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  They, she set me like two off. She goes, no, this one's the best. This one's the best. And I walked in this barber shop and it felt different. I go, oh, they take their time here.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  It had a vibe to it, right? And I like barber shops that have black people and white people in there. I said, they can do everything. Cause black barbers alone don't do well with scissors.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  They beast with the clippers and then sometimes white barbers don't get close enough on the sides. And I was like, oh, okay. So I went in and the guy literally, I got done, I goes, I go, god damn dude. You killed it. He goes, yeah. I go, type in my phone in the notes, what I need to tell barbers. Cause I never know what to tell them. The way he typed in it, he goes, you know, raise the edges, round this and this. Now I'll just go and be like.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, do that.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  I just show them it. That's why I got this Mexican. I know he spoke English. But is it, is it bad or good?

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Nah, it's good.

• 48:50H. Foley?

  It's great.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 48:51H. Foley?

  You ever had a haircut in the green room?

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Couple times.

• 48:56Speaker 02

  Not a lot.

• 48:57H. Foley?

  I heard Luke go wow.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's cool guy shit.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Not a lot, though.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  What, uh, speaking of the green room, you know, uh, what's on the rider?

• 49:05Speaker 02

  It's funny, the older you get, the easier the rider gets. Cause I don't, I don't wanna have a bunch of shit that I'll just munch on. Cause I don't wanna just be munch on it. So it's just berries. Those blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, masa chips, I don't know if you guys know what those are.

• 49:19H. Foley?

  Done well.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Masa chips, uh, water, not in a plastic bottle.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Glass.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Glass or can.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Oh, what's your favorite, what's the favorite water? You get your choice.

• 49:29H. Foley?

  Like Mountain Valley?

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Mountain Valley, in a green bottle.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's money.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  But the problem is, they'll, sometimes they'll fuck up and they'll get the sparkling, cause it looks so similar.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  It's the red versus blue, I believe.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm like, guys, this is wrong water. Um, so and then I, we got in there, I'm gonna order something from a nearby restaurant.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Because you just don't know. So I'll just, they'll send me like four restaurants. I'm like, alright, I'll choose this one. Usually I'm just getting chicken or steak and vegetables, real simple.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  And that's, oh, we do a bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  What kinda wine?

• 50:02Speaker 02

  We gave them a list of like eight to choose from.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  Just get whatever, whatever one you can get.

• 50:06H. Foley?

  Are you a wine guy?

• 50:08Speaker 02

  No, I have a wine thing at my house. So this is, I usually take a bottle home and I put it in the wine thing.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  Miss Pat does, too.

• 50:14H. Foley?

  Miss Pat does that, too.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  It's like a hundred and four, and I think I'm at like ninety-eight, and I think I've bought six of the bottles. It's literally been that many bottles over the course of...

• 50:25H. Foley?

  Are they nice bottles? Do you know what they are?

• 50:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course, there's Camus, there's Joseph Phelps.

• 50:29H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  There's one called Dow, uh, that's a, Dwyane Wade, got a couple, I supported him, I bought Dwyane Wade's wine, support.

• 50:38H. Foley?

  I got Shacks, Shacks.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:40H. Foley?

  Shacklicious, you know, the war.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  There's a, um...

• 50:45Speaker 02

  There's a couple that I really like, but I can't think of any of them. I'm looking at the bottle right now. I can't picture it.

• 50:50H. Foley?

  When you're out at a restaurant, will you get the, will you do the bottle of water? Like when you're, when you're eating?

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Depends on the city.

• 50:57H. Foley?

  Really?

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. If I'm in like Park City, Utah, yeah, I'm taking that tap.

• 51:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  If I'm in Philly, no offense, I'm getting the bottle.

• 51:07H. Foley?

  All the Pepsi. Now, will you get that sparkling or still?

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Still.

• 51:11H. Foley?

  Still. You're not a sparkling guy?

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Not a sparkling guy.

• 51:14H. Foley?

  Alright, I respect it. How do you get the steak cooked?

• 51:17Speaker 02

  Medium rare plus.

• 51:19H. Foley?

  Okay, not bad. Not bad.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  Gentlemen.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  I mean, I mean.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  I don't know if you guys like me or not.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  What? Are you kidding me? Are you nuts?

• 51:30Speaker 02

  I think I'm like this.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  Fucking love ya.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  This boosie mother.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  No, no, no. It's this, this, this is, this is the show. You started with fucking Rodney in a goddamn trailer park. You're allowed, you're allowed to ask for the mountain valley water.

• 51:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, what are you, crazy? Who you flying with? You a Delta man?

• 51:48Speaker 02

  I used to be, but now I live in Houston. That's United's hub.

• 51:51H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  So it's United most of the time, because you can get everywhere direct, everywhere direct.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Out of Houston.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  I flew, I flew to Dubai direct.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 51:59H. Foley?

  The hell were you doing over there?

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Oh, I went to a wedding.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Free vacation.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  I went to a wedding.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  You went to a wedding in Dubai?

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. Terrence J, he was, he was on Air 1059, he was in Think Like a Man with me, the two Think Like a Man movies.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  So I always wanted to go to Dubai, and this just gave me a reason, and he, it wasn't like it.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I know that guy.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  It didn't hit me like.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  I didn't know him by his name, yeah.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, it didn't hit me like, it was like a month notice. It was like eight months in advance, we got the wedding invitation. I go, oh, let's go to Dubai.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  That's fun, I get that.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? And it was a, it was a great trip.

• 52:29H. Foley?

  You flying up front?

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 52:31H. Foley?

  Once you go up front, you can't go to Dubai.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Can't go back.

• 52:33H. Foley?

  Take your shoes off on a plane?

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Not a lot.

• 52:36H. Foley?

  Put the seat back?

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Depends. I see who's behind me. I'm very cautious because I don't like it when somebody just goes You know?

• 52:45Speaker 01

  They get aggressive.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  So I'll look and if somebody's asleep, I'll slowly, I still go slow. I'll do it and I'll do it in increments.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Did he say anything? Did he say anything? I hate it when they just immediately

• 53:00H. Foley?

  The next time this gets brought up, everybody says, they keep it so black and white. They keep it so, should you put the seat back or not? No, I never put the seat back. Yes, I put the seat back. That's what it's there for. That's the right answer.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:12H. Foley?

  You look to see who's behind you. You gauge it a little bit. Maybe you give them a

• 53:17Speaker 02

  So listen, if you got a mom and she's got a baby, I'm not pushing the seat back. You know, give them all the room they can handle.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 53:25H. Foley?

  Goddamn gentleman.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Now,

• 53:26Speaker 01

  If the big thing is

• 53:27Speaker 02

  My pet peeve with flying, I like the window, right? It never fails. I always get the person right here that leaves their window up and the sun is hitting you. I'm like, just put your shade down, bro. Because you can't watch the TV or your laptop because it's got a glare and it's just, it's always like this.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Comes in hot.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  That would be me because I know I drive people crazy with that.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  He's a window open guy.

• 53:51H. Foley?

  I'm not just a window open guy. When I'm watching my movie, when I got, you know, fucking Catch Me If You Can going, I close my window, but I like to see, if we're flying over somewhere cool and it's today, I'm gonna, I'm gonna yank that up Six or seven times during the flight.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  I'm fine with the takeoff. I'm fine with the landing. I get it. But the whole flight, I'd be like

• 54:11Speaker 01

  Dude, if you're humming at 40,000 feet, you can close that.

• 54:13H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  What are we doing?

• 54:15H. Foley?

  Will you bring food on the plane?

• 54:17Speaker 02

  Um, not like meals, but I'll bring like

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Snacks.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  You know, protein bars or some shit.

• 54:24Speaker 01

  Um, before, you know, when you first started doing well, it didn't even necessarily have to be that well, right? Maybe first big check or something where you went, oh shit, this is, you know, we leveled up a little bit this weekend or whatever. Was there a dumb purchase where you looked back on it?

• 54:38H. Foley?

  What'd you do with the money, Gary?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  I shouldn't have bought that.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Well, my ex-wife spent all of it. You know what I mean? I'll tell you the first thing I bought. Two things I bought when I came into a little bit of money early in my career.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  And what was that money from?

• 54:51Speaker 02

  The first thing was BET's Comic View. Cause I got, I got a movie and I got BET's Comic View right off the bat. I got the Hoes in the Home BET and I got this movie Jamie Foxx. Boom, boom. So I went from no money to, oh, I got a little bit of money. Um, not seven figures or anything like that, but.

• 55:06H. Foley?

  Hundred grand?

• 55:07Speaker 02

  The BET didn't pay me that and the movie didn't pay me that, but combined it came over a hundred, right?

• 55:12H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  And I got them at the same time, right?

• 55:14H. Foley?

  Like you got the checks at the same time?

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were coming in around the same time, right? You didn't get them all at once.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  It's a good month.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was a great couple of months, right? But, uh, I, I just remember I went and bought a Rolex.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 55:26Speaker 02

  And it wasn't a, um, it wasn't expensive one, but I was like, alright, bought a nice little watch, right? So then, it wasn't like one forty thousand dollar one.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  No, yeah, yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  It was nice. This is twenty some years ago. But I remember I got a TV deal with Quincy Jones and I can say the, I can say the money now because it's so long ago. So it was, he gave me a hundred and fifty thousand dollar holding deal. TV holding deal, right?

• 55:52Speaker 01

  This is nineties?

• 55:53H. Foley?

  Awesome.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  This is like ninety-nine, two thousand.

• 55:55H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Prime holding deal.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  So.

• 55:57H. Foley?

  Prime holding deal era.

• 55:59Speaker 02

  So that's your money. If people don't know, holding deals was they give you money, you can't do any TV for the whole year. So you can't go out on auditions or nothing. They have you.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  To put you in to try to either make something around you or put you in one of the things they already have in development.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  So how Quincy saw me was kinda random. I did the Montreal Comedy Festival. This is when they were giving out huge deals back then, right? I'm on the New Faces. So I'm on the first show of the entire festival. Everybody's there. Every TV exec, every producer, everybody, Quincy's there. I don't even know Quincy's there. We drew na, we drew numbers out of a hat. I drew one. I go, fuck. It's first comic.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  Tough spot.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  First show out the box.

• 56:43Speaker 01

  Open it up. It's cold.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Dom Arera was the host.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  Shout out Dom.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  He goes up, they're not really laughing at him and they're so old and super white, like literally blue hair. I saw blue hair. I'm not just saying that. I was like, I'm gonna switch my setup for this crowd. I'm switching my, complete five minute set and my aides at the time was like, don't, don't, don't. We got all these people here, but the networks here, they're primed to hear your point of view. So don't switch it up, right? I go, I don't think they're gonna get it with this crowd. I listened to my agent, did my five minutes, ate shit. It was awful. I didn't get a chuckle. I got offstage, I went out the back door, I walked like two miles back to my hotel. And my, my ex-wife was just my girlfriend at the time.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  They were like, oh, you know, like NBC wants to meet him. And I remember she was telling him, oh, he's not coming out. I locked myself in my room for two days before I went up again. So this is like Wednesday, I didn't go up again till Friday. And I went, cause I'm thinking, I'm gonna walk around and all the comics like, that's the guy that bombed, that's the guy that bombed. That's what I'm thinking in my head. So I'm not leaving the room. I watched so much CFL football in two days. I knew everybody in the Montreal Alouettes.

• 57:54H. Foley?

  Shout out to the Argonauts.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Toronto Argonauts. I knew all of them, right? I go, oh, that's, that's Jean Pierre. Yeah, he's from Calgary.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Hell of a middle linebacker.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  I go back up Friday, this is the first time I've seen comedians or anybody in two days. The other seven comics were all complaining about the audience. I didn't realize everybody bombed. All eight comics ate it and they were like, dude, that audience, man. And I go, what? It wasn't just me. They go, dude, they ain't left it nobody. They ain't left it Dom, nothing. I was like, ah, go up.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Live to fight another day.

• 58:27H. Foley?

  Been watching the highlight for two days.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, right? Did a different five minutes the second night, right? Cause I had got enough local stuff at that point. Then Guy Torrey missed his flight for the Urban Show, which was Saturday. They said, Gary, can you stay an extra day? Guy Torrey can't make it. I was like, yeah. Stayed, did the Urban Shows. Now, the early Urban Show was promoted as kinda cleaner. The late Urban Show was the dirty Urban Show, right? So basically, I did 20 minutes total in Montreal, but I did four sets that were different. Four, five minutes that was different. That's how I got my deal. Cause when I left there, a week later, they said Quincy Jones wants to meet with you. I said, what?

• 59:05H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  Now, I don't know, he's been to all the shows.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  So he saw?

• 59:09Speaker 02

  He saw all the new faces, cause he was looking for new talent. So of course he went to the new faces. Then he went to the Urban Show. So he saw all four of my sets by just circumstances. He, I go to his house, I meet with him.

• 59:20H. Foley?

  Quincy Jones.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  Quincy Jones.

• 59:22H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  So we're at his house and he tells me how he decided he wanted to give me a deal. He goes, look. I went to all, I went to so many shows in, in five days. He goes, "You were the only guy, I feel so, it sounds awful, I feel so cocky saying this."

• 59:39H. Foley?

  No, yeah.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  He goes, "You were the only guy I saw that switched it up and you kept getting better every set." He goes, "I saw you didn't do well the first night. I saw you came back two days later." He goes, "Oh, you did a different five minutes." "Oh, okay." "Then I saw you do the Urban Show, you did the clean stuff." He goes, "Then I saw you do the Dirty Urban Show." He goes, "You, and you're white, and you played to the white people and the black people." "That's how I got the deal with Quincy."

• 1:00:04H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  So he gives me this deal for $150,000 and literally goes like this, and TV deals don't work like this. He goes, "Hey, what's the deal again?" And they go, this is like after meeting him for months, right? They go, "It's $150,000." He goes, "Somebody comes down, brings out a checkbook, he wrote the check and handed it to me." And my manager goes, "Oh, this never happens."

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  Yeah. Are you, you're, all these meetings are in his house?

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  At his house, he doesn't go anywhere. You meet in his house.

• 1:00:30H. Foley?

  In his office?

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  In, nah, just his, whatever this room was that had all the Grammys.

• 1:00:35H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  There's a wall of Grammys and then there was a big picture of him and Michael Jackson.

• 1:00:38H. Foley?

  I've seen that house on the documentary they did on Netflix.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  That was the second house. That wasn't the house we met in.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  He was building that house, it's next door to the house. So, this is how baller Quincy was.

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  Dude, man.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  So, the street he lived on, when we were meeting, there was five houses on the street. One was his house, one, um, Chris Tucker, one, um, Girls Gone Wild, the guy.

• 1:01:05H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  Because that was big. And the other one was the, one of his baby mom, Natasha Kinsky.

• 1:01:10H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  So he moved her across the street, so he still regulates, sees his daughter, he lives here. And then he built, was building his house at the very end of the street, and that was the big house from the documentary.

• 1:01:21H. Foley?

  It's Quincy Jones's block right there.

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:23H. Foley?

  Fucking crazy, dude. That's awesome. Man.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  It was so cool, um...

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  The TV show, we obviously didn't get picked up or anything, but it was just cool like, I literally spent like six months and probably was at his house twice a week.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 1:01:39H. Foley?

  That's sick.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  And the stories he told, I'm not going to share all of them, but they're true. He's not exaggerating, he's not lying like Frank Sinatra and Orson Welles and Michael Jackson. And you know, I asked every question you would want to ask about Michael Jackson. He answered them all, but I'll keep that between Dan Quincy. It was dope though.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  God damn.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Have you ever saved a Crown Royal bag?

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  I'm sure I have.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, everybody has.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  I'll tell you a wild Crown Royal bag story.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Purple velvet, you don't throw that away.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  Early in my career, I met this girl after one of my shows.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Stripper?

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  She came, no, not stripper, met her at a sports bar.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  She came back to my room.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  I'm saying because that's what they put them in.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  She came back to my room, I just remember she pulled out a Crown Royal bag out of her purse. I thought there was Crown Royal, a little pistol.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  No shit.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  And I went, why do you have a gun? I'm like, I'm naive to the business at this point. She goes, oh, you don't know who come at you.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  She might have been a stripper.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  Whoa. Why do you have a gun in a Crown Royal bag?

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Excuse me, miss, is that loaded?

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  Dude, I went from, I went from the cool white guy that picked her up at the bar like, yeah, girl. She, like, why do you have a gun in your bag?

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  God damn. Um, I mean, I got a couple more, you know.

• 1:02:58H. Foley?

  What was the first concert you went to?

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Good one.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  As a kid, I didn't go to any concerts. So as an adult, a summer jam in DC. And that was like SWV, K-Sweat, um, Jade, um, Silk, Shy.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Rob Base.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  H-Town. Do da da do, do do. Yeah, that was a great concert. I just remember I freaked out at that concert. Not freaked out, but it was the first time I saw like a lot of celebs because you were in DC. That was the shit. And I saw, that's where I saw Alonzo Mourning and Patrick Ewing walk in.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  And you know, it's Georgetown. And then, uh, I saw Riddick Bowe. This was back when Riddick Bowe was fighting Vander Holyfield. And I was like, "Oh shit, Riddick Bowe, there's Vander Holyfield." And I didn't see Vander Holyfield, "There's Riddick Bowe beating Vander Holyfield, there's, uh, lots of more." And, uh, Patrick Ewing, and I've gotten cool with Alonso and Patrick since, I always tell them this story, I go, "Dude, I saw you."

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  You're cool with Patrick Ewing?

• 1:04:00H. Foley?

  You're friends with Patrick Ewing?

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  I'm not saying friends, we're cool. See each other, cause you do the charity events and stuff.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  I don't know, don't need to.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  I don't have his number or nothing.

• 1:04:12Speaker 02

  I didn't say friends.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  I said we're cool.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, whoa, hey, whoa, hey.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  He recognized me. Like, I got, that's an in when you can go talk to him.

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  For sure, for sure. Uh, how old were you when you got your passport? I'm assuming when you joined the Navy?

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, Navy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eighteen?

• 1:04:27H. Foley?

  You, you keep it pretty tight as far as the food goes, right? You eat pretty clean, you eat pretty good? Do you still eat fast food?

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:04:33H. Foley?

  Never?

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  I can't remember last time I had fast food.

• 1:04:36H. Foley?

  No shit, look at you, carry on, keep it tight. Tell him he does it.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  I can't remember last time I had fast food. I'm trying to think.

• 1:04:44H. Foley?

  Do you snack on anything? Do you have an indulgence?

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  Not real.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  Yo, uh, this probably is cheating, you know, the masa chips we talked about, right?

• 1:04:55H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  So I, I like making nachos with the masa chips.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Not bad, that's classy.

• 1:05:00H. Foley?

  Very classy.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Nah, but you're not making your own nachos.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  Nachos are easy, you just throw cheese.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  But I say basic nachos. You throw cheese on them, put it in the oven for like five minutes, take it out, the cheese is all melted.

• 1:05:12H. Foley?

  Throw it in the microwave.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  No, no, the oven, man, get the chips crispy, the cheese crispy. Put a little sour cream on there, a little ground beef.

• 1:05:19H. Foley?

  Oh. Okay.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 1:05:21H. Foley?

  You have a glass of wine at the house sometimes?

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Not a lot.

• 1:05:25H. Foley?

  Once in a while?

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  I'm more of a social drinker.

• 1:05:27H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Like, have other people around? Cause I always tell my girl, I said, "I get horny when I drink." So I don't want to just be drinking by myself. You know what I mean, like, "Oh, what do I do with this?"

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  So then what are all the bottles of wine for at the house, just to collect? Yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  It's right when you walk in, it's just there.

• 1:05:41H. Foley?

  Wait, it's not down in this basement or anything?

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  No, it's right, you walk in the front door, it's just like a display.

• 1:05:46H. Foley?

  That's horrible for the wine.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's, it's, um, temperature controlled.

• 1:05:50H. Foley?

  What, you have a little room?

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  It's in a glass thing, you gotta open the door just to get to it.

• 1:05:55H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  They're not just sitting on the open.

• 1:05:57H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  That plate, that, that Airbnb we, that.

• 1:05:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, they had that.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  We rented in, in LA had that same thing. Huh. Have you ever seen any of your parents fight anybody?

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Rodney.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  I figured.

• 1:06:08H. Foley?

  Did he win or lose?

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  He got in a fight with my, my, my real dad at my wedding.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  My first wedding.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  How to be, I mean.

• 1:06:15H. Foley?

  Gary!

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, sucker punched him at the wedding, bro.

• 1:06:18H. Foley?

  The wine cellar at the front of the house. What are you doing, Patrick Ewing? Now you're bringing this up?

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  He's as trash as they come.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  Rodney sucker punched my real dad at the wedding.

• 1:06:28H. Foley?

  What? Where was the wedding at?

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Oakland.

• 1:06:33H. Foley?

  Why?

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  That's where my ex-wife is from. It's some ghetto church too, bro. Here's the funny part. The wedding, let's say 300 people were there.

• 1:06:43H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  It was 250 white, uh, black people, 50 white people, and two white guys got in a fight?

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  That's crazy, yeah. Damn. So...

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  What was the beef?

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  Rodney said, "My dad looked at him funny." And I said, I went, I went, "What?" "Looked at you funny?" He goes, "Nah, Gary, it wasn't a normal face." He looked at me like, "I fucked your wife before you, I went around with Gary's growing up, and I'm still at the wedding, ha, ha, ha." I was like, "That's a hell of a face."

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  I gotta, I gotta see that face, bro.

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  That's a complex face.

• 1:07:13H. Foley?

  Was it just one sucker punch and that was it?

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  It got broken up immediately.

• 1:07:17H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Rodney went in, sucker punched him. Luckily, somebody saw him, so they kinda caught it. So it, it kinda grazed his chin, really hit his chest, and then, um, and then, uh, it got broken up immediately. Rodney got escorted out. He was trying to talk shit, but he realized, "There's too many black guys here, I should probably leave."

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Cause now the black people was like, "Motherfucker, you fucked up our wedding."

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  The wedding got fucked up, yeah.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  So...

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  What, uh...

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  I saw Rodney getting a lot of fights growing up, and that's the problem with having a stepdad that isn't cool but can fight.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Cause you'll tell, you'll go to school and be like, "Motherfucker, stepdad," they go, "Man, he beat his ass, man." I said, "I can't." "I can't." "He can fight."

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  He swings first, asks questions later.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  They never show that story in the movies.

• 1:07:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  The stepdad that can actually fucking throw hands. You know what I mean? Like I saw him one hitter quitter a couple people. I was like.

• 1:08:09H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  Just bing. I mean, he can, he can fight.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  A guy named Rodney works in a factory, lives in a trailer park. That guy can throw hands.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  No, he can go, he can go.

• 1:08:18H. Foley?

  He can fight, he can paint, he's good with his hands.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  He's good with his hands, man.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do?

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  He's soft.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do? I will fuck you up. I gotta.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  It's like whiplash two.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  I gotta do a mural in the morning.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Can't hook up the money makers. Um, let's, speaking of weddings, let's say you go to a wedding now, friend of yours, you know what I mean?

• 1:08:37H. Foley?

  Very good question.

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  Family member, something. Uh, you're as, you're a guest. Um, what are you, what's that, what's gonna be in that envelope? What's that check gonna be? Is it gonna be check? Is it gonna be cash? And how much?

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  Depends on who the person is.

• 1:08:51H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  And what you have done for us in our life.

• 1:08:53H. Foley?

  Hmm, okay. Can you give us a range? Let's say.

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  If I can call you, when we're, when the shit hits the fan, if I can call you. And I'll, I just need you to be there. Yeah, you're gonna get a decent gift. You know what I mean? You've been there for me. If I don't know you, nah.

• 1:09:09H. Foley?

  What do we, what's some, okay, let's go the.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Twenty dollars?

• 1:09:12H. Foley?

  Twenty?

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  Nah, you're joking. More than twenty. You're doing twenty?

• 1:09:16H. Foley?

  You're kidding.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  A hundred?

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  A hundred.

• 1:09:18H. Foley?

  A hundred?

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  We'll do a hundred.

• 1:09:20H. Foley?

  Twenty bucks at a wedding, Gary?

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:09:23H. Foley?

  You're crazy?

• 1:09:23Speaker 01

  I feel like his wife probably does handle things.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:27H. Foley?

  Okay, so let's say it's somebody tight. We talking?

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  Depends on who it is, man.

• 1:09:31H. Foley?

  Five figures?

• 1:09:33Speaker 01

  Five figures?

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  No, no, four.

• 1:09:35H. Foley?

  Four, sorry.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  You're my guy, my girl, you know? You're that close to me.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Five figures is nuts.

• 1:09:41H. Foley?

  I miscounted.

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like this, whoa, that was a decimal point?

• 1:09:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's not, he's not great with numbers.

• 1:09:46H. Foley?

  Nine figures, really?

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  Counting to cents.

• 1:09:50H. Foley?

  Will you dance at a wedding?

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  If, yeah, depending on the liquor and everything.

• 1:09:55H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  I got a question for you. Will you dance at a black wedding? Cause it's gotta be a little more.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  That's easier.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Really? I'd be way more.

• 1:10:01H. Foley?

  No expectations.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, the, the expectations, all I can do is hit one move. Aw shit!

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, there you go.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Hey, listen, no matter what you do in life, whether you're playing basketball, you're telling jokes. You're at a wedding dancing, if, there's nothing like black people hyping you up.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  There's nothing like it. Aw shit! Play basketball, hit a three, "Okay, I see you Larry!"

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  "I see you Larry!" You're like, "What?" It's such a good feeling.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  Of course he's Larry.

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  Football, anything, man. You got the black guys hyping you up, it feels good.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  It really does hit different.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  Like, honestly, you're walking down the street, right? You're walking down the street.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  White guy goes, "Are you garbage?" "I love your fucking podcast, guys." You're like, "Thanks, man, thanks." Black guy, "Are you garbage? I fucks with you." You can be like this. Yeah?

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Dap up, yeah.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  You're looking at you like this. "It's gonna get so neat, that's..." Man, I feel good! We gotta, we need more, we need more shit back here.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  I mean, listen.

• 1:11:03Speaker 02

  Is he, is he garbage, though? That's the question.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  I would say now?

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  Classy gentleman.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Hey, you know.

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  Operator.

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  He can, he still walks in both worlds.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  You know, he, you know.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Lives in Houston. The wedding almost killed it, didn't it? Almost made it garbage.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  That was, that was close. That was close. I mean, you're classy as shit now.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  You came, you came from a, you know, not, not fantastic upbringing.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  You're from garbage.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  You're garbage.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  He's all trash. What are you talking about? Guy's trash. He's, he's doing shows for free vacations for him and his whole squad. But it's a classy resort. It's a classy resort.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Nice resort. So now, so is the deal now, is there a little grease on top of that, or is it just, just for the nickname?

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Can't get paid.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  Can't get paid?

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Taxes, all that shit. Just makes everything Jesus.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  You got new work permits and stuff?

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  I'm probably getting in trouble now with this podcast. Probably just went away. We can snip it. No, it's, the only reason I would do it is because it's doing it on a day that you never work.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  Nobody works their life worth. Nobody works Christmas. Do a show, relax. Family goes, and it's, it's a nice little family tradition we're starting. You like to have a drink in the pool? Will. A little cocktail? Mai Tai? Pina Colada or something? I like Bloody Marys at the pool. You do? I do like Bloody Marys.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  More beach or more pool guy?

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  Pool.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  Pool.

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  All day. I like the salt water better, I like the ocean water better, but the sand is, gets everywhere. I just want to stick by the pool.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Listen, I respect it.

• 1:12:31Speaker 02

  Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gary Owen.

• 1:12:35H. Foley?

  Am I garbage or not?

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  I mean, listen, I'm lean-

• 1:12:38H. Foley?

  You picked strawberries and you grew up in a trailer park.

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:41H. Foley?

  I can be like recyclable. You were the prom king. You've made improvement. You didn't hook up with your date. You've made- Don't make us do it, Gary. Man. Yeah, you're trash.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  You're trash, buddy. The great kind of- You redeemed yourself, but you're a dirtbag.

• 1:12:55H. Foley?

  Goddamn gentleman these days. We love it. Buddy, congratulations on your success. Thank you. We are huge fans. We love you to death. Thank you so much for coming and sitting with us. Gang, if you haven't seen Gary, go to GaryOwen.live, check out his tour dates. One of the absolute best.

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:13:10H. Foley?

  Kippee, what do you got for us?

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  Guys, we're on tour right now, back on the block tour. Shows are selling out. Get your tickets now. We can't add them in all the cities because of the routing, so god, if you snooze, you lose. We love yous.

• 1:13:20H. Foley?

  Gary, is there anything you wanted to...

• 1:13:23H. Foley?

  Mention? Nope.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Fumbled at the goal line, big man.

• 1:13:27H. Foley?

  Gary, we love you. We'll see you next week.