Ms. Pat Returns!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Ms Pat! You know Ms Pat from Stand Up Comedy, The Breakfast Club, Club Shay Shay, This Past Weekend, the Joe Rogan Experience, Soder Podcast, Bertcast, Whiskey Ginger, The Big Podcast with Shaq, Ms. Pat Podcast and Ms Pat Settles It and much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Helix Sleep: Go to https://Helixsleep.com/garbage for 27% Off Sitewide. Exclusive for listeners of Are You Garbage? Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage BlueChew: https://bluechew.com Promo Code: Garbage Chubbies: Your Holiday wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code garbage at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Donnys, Pam, listen, did you get your tickets yet for the Are You Garbage show at the Met? Are You Garbage? With Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, the two I showed, yeah, the bald and the fat one, yeah, them two. Yeah, they're at the Met, I know, must be nice, all fancy at the Met, made it big, you know? But make sure you go on there and get your tickets, because I know they're probably gonna sell out quick, you know? And I'm telling you right now, I hope Aunt Toody's there, because guess what? I'm gonna be having a conversation with her. That bitch owes me eighty dollars from that beef and veal at Paddywax. Yeah, so I'll be having a conversation with her for sure. Alright, so go online and get your tickets, alright? So long.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Check, check, check. Check, check, hey, Miss Pat.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  I like to be yelled at.

• 1:05H. Foley?

  A bit of a freak, Miss. You and me both.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  Well, I used to be a freak, right now, if I get freaky, I get stuck. It's just shit I can't do no more, you know what I'm saying? To get to this cat, I gotta hold back my stomach like you done opened a hood on a car. So it ain't too much I can do like I used to do, okay? Back in the day, I would throw that thing, now I just lay it down. And you have to walk in too, easy.

• 1:29H. Foley?

  Take a warm bath.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, so sometime it been a while.

• 1:34H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast, this is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find out that they're good to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big ol' piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day, we're out back here at Toody's in the new addition, she had a long night at the track. Okay. And I'm not talking about the fifty by fifty, I'll tell you that right now, she is... Okay, fair enough. That didn't work. My co-host is coming at you right next to me. He's the CEO of Are You Garbage. Sometimes you just gotta give up, everybody. You know what I'm saying? He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. I just bombed in front of him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify. And then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. And last but not least, it's already cut, y'all.

• 2:29H. Foley?

  Please.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  December 13th, Philadelphia.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 2:31Speaker 03

  The Met Theater. The boys are coming on. Get those tickets now.

• 2:33H. Foley?

  Yes, sir. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest back with us again today. We're gonna put it through the wringer again.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:41H. Foley?

  All right. You know her, you love her. Season three of Miss Pat Settles It is out right now on BET and BET Plus. We're talking about bigger cases, talking about big surprises. Do yourself a favor, if you haven't seen it. The show is absolutely fantastic, and she's on a national stand-up tour right now. Get tickets at misspatcomedy.com. Give it up for the one, the only, Miss Pat, ladies and gentlemen. Congratulations, season three.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Thank you, thank you.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  I don't know how we making it, but we making it. There's nothing like a convicted felon who can be a judge. You can be president too, so, hey, the felon's winning right now. We're winning.

• 3:18H. Foley?

  That's America, baby.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Yes, baby, America. I gotta tell you about this bougie white people.

• 3:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, what's the beef with La Croix?

• 3:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you, I love La Croix, but you drinking it wrong. It's better when you drink it ghetto. You gotta put a Crystal Light in it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Boy, that'll make your dick hard. You gotta put a Crystal Light. I got something in my pocketbook if you need one.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  That's crazy, dude.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  I'm telling you, that is some bougie water. When people come out, they're like, "You drink this?" I say, "Not without blackening it up."

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Put a little flavor in there.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:48H. Foley?

  Drop a Jolly Rancher in there?

• 3:50Speaker 02

  No, put a Crystal Light in there.

• 3:51H. Foley?

  I like that.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  And it'll change your life.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Like the individual pack.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  Yes, the individual, the whole thing. Shake it up. It's gonna buzzle. It's gonna hit the back of your throat. Everything on you gonna start back working.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  I don't need it. Check back online, baby.

• 4:05H. Foley?

  I was putting a, I put a little Liquid IV in there for a little while.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  No, that's garbage.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  What? No, it's not.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  That was a great.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  They're sponsoring this back.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  I'm sorry. That's, that's good too. But you should, thank God for edit, but you should ghetto it up a little bit. Now, Liquid IV is a safe way. That's a healthy way.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Sure, of course.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  But if you, if you ever want to get ghetto, just get you a thing of, of Crystal Light and I'm telling you.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  Now, did someone show that to you or did you figure that out on your own?

• 4:30Speaker 02

  I just one day said, this is some, this water, I can't drink it. I don't like water either, but I need water.

• 4:36H. Foley?

  Right.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  And you know, because I'm fat and we dry out quick. And then I'm black, so we need oil. And so I just started, I said, what can I add? And I dropped a Crystal Light in and it changed my life. And, and I don't know if I told y'all this story, but I can't drink water because when I was a little girl, one of the field trips at my inner city school, they took us to the water work and showed us how it was made.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Oh, like the water department?

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Yes, and it abused me. And they took us to the crap part where all the turds was floating. I know I seen my brother turd out there. So I cannot drink water. I, and every time I go to think faucet water, I think about that time on that field trip and I was like, we drank this?

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  And so they show you all the crap, then they take you to the other side, give you a cup. Now drink up, drink up. Did you not show me what you saw me? Yeah, in inner city school, you get crappy field trips.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  If, if we came to the house right now and you offered us a glass of water, what would it be? Would it be a bottle?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  It'd be La Croix with a fucking Crystal Light in it.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  It would be La Croix. It would be the other one that start with the S that I can't pronounce.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Saratoga?

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  No, Perrier.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  It would be all of that.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  You got all of it.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Yes, it would be all of that.

• 5:41H. Foley?

  How do you feel about Evian? You like Evian?

• 5:43Speaker 02

  My husband love Evian.

• 5:44H. Foley?

  He does?

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:45H. Foley?

  I could never get the taste of it.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  I can't get the taste of it either.

• 5:48H. Foley?

  Taste too European.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Like I like, people, most people don't like the Sunny, but I like a little ghetto water.

• 5:53H. Foley?

  So do I.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Yes, a little salt in the back of your throat.

• 5:56H. Foley?

  Dasani, what's the other one?

• 5:57Speaker 03

  That's Coke.

• 5:58H. Foley?

  Aquafina?

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Aquafina.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  You know, I take that Sam water in the really small bottles if they ice cold.

• 6:05H. Foley?

  The what?

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Sam, Sam water.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  The Sams, like Sams.

• 6:09H. Foley?

  Sams cool?

• 6:09Speaker 02

  It's the faucet, yes, it's the faucet water.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, so is Aquafina and Dasani.

• 6:13H. Foley?

  So you would offer us a bottle?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Yes, I will offer you a bottled water.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  That's very nice.

• 6:17H. Foley?

  Now.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  What, I'm sorry.

• 6:18H. Foley?

  No, go ahead.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  What, did we have to take our shoes off upon entering the house? Are you guys' shoes off or shoes on household?

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm more, I have a nice house, so it's.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  We're aware, we're aware. I've seen Instagram. Fucking dog's house is bigger than my house.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  You, everybody know about my damn house. Please don't hop the fence because we got some lead for you.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  I didn't build it without having somebody in my house that can be a concealed carrier. I can't shoot you, but I can stand behind the person that will shoot you. Cause I'm a convicted felon.

• 6:50H. Foley?

  Is the house all done? Have you moved in and settled and situated?

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Yes, it's all, I'm all done.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 6:55H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I didn't realize my taxes was gonna be that high. I didn't realize the house was that much. I was just building. I had saved some money. I said, I'm gonna do this thing. I didn't think about the light bill, the water bill. You ought to see me walking around that 15,000 square foot house, cutting out the lights. We pour, cut the damn lights out. The light bill, I'm just, I'm calling to get on a budget plan, all of that.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Your house is 15,000 square feet?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Yes, and I built it-

• 7:21Speaker 03

  That's like what Shaq did.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  I don't live far from Shaq, can I tell you that? I, um, I built it from-

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Damn, Miss Pat and Shaq, what a neighborhood.

• 7:28H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Nah, we a little far from each other, be the neighborhood.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  But, um, I, I built it from TikTok.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 7:36Speaker 02

  I didn't use a contractor, so I was a general contractor. I hired an architect, a joy, and I, I got all the designs off of TikTok. I just went down white women pages and stole their living room, their bathroom, their kitchen.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  How many bathrooms? Let me guess?

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Eight.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  No, it's 13 baths.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  What?

• 7:54H. Foley?

  13 baths?

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  That's a lot of dookie. It's like the Palace of Versailles.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  And it's 11, uh, bedrooms.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Does every bedroom have a bathroom? No, I guess it can, no?

• 8:05Speaker 02

  The kids do. All the kids, they have their own bathroom.

• 8:07H. Foley?

  You said you went to white ladies TikTok. Do you have any live, laugh, love things floating around in there?

• 8:12Speaker 02

  No, I don't, that, that, that's trailer park. I say uppity white women. And I don't live, laugh, crap in my house. I don't do no hobby lobby crap on the wall.

• 8:22Speaker 03

  Hobby lobby.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Ain't no crosses hanging.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  Home goods and shit.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Now, I do home goods, but I, now that's, that's, hey, that's the stuff that couldn't sell at the high end. Then they bring it over.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  That's, ah, yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  But you know the problem is going to home good in those type of stores when you live in a white neighborhood? White women do not work, so they stay home, so they shop. You have to know when that truck get in, and you have to beat them white bitches to that store. They will get to that store and buy everything. I hate white women when it come down to home good. They get the good parts, they know when the truck's coming in, but I know too. Cause baby, I lived in a white neighborhood, so I already got y'all strategy. From coupons to learn how to go into these stores and get deals. All the way down to baking. And I will, let me tell you something about a white woman. Can't nobody out bake a white woman.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Really?

• 9:10Speaker 02

  Black women can cook, but they can't out bake. You know why? Cause white women have all the right utensils. Black women's in there stirring with they spoons and crap. White women got an egg beater that cost $900. We can't out, and I don't care what y'all say, black women.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Got that KitchenAid bowl?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 9:25Speaker 03

  Got the KitchenAid bowl?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they got a mixer with it. I mean, it's so smooth, it'll give you diarrhea.

• 9:30H. Foley?

  Wait.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  I'm serious.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  Wait, so you're saying certain women know when the delivery's being made to Home Goods?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, you make fries. You make fries, I got them too. They be calling me, they call my sister. Tell me to pack this truck on the way. And I get my black ass on up there, and I wait till they bring all of it out.

• 9:48H. Foley?

  Something from the mob, I love it.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:50H. Foley?

  Will you ever get any of the, any of the food at Home Goods? Will you get any of the candies or anything?

• 9:56Speaker 02

  Yes, I do.

• 9:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  It'd be good, that popcorn be expensive.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  It's always popcorn, that popcorn, it's always popcorn.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Man, I got some lemon heads up there, cause I was doing a pool party, and the lemon head matched my color. That thing was banging, that is expensive candy that then went over to that store. I'm sorry, sir, those, those, uh, those spaghetti noodles, that is high-end Italian olive oil, out of the straight of the vine.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  It's a half-empty though, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  No, it's not, that's for the people who went in there and drunk out of it. But if you get a whole bottle, you better start shopping in that store.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I hate it, my wife loves it, I hate it.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Because your wife know how to get a deal, and I guarantee you that's what you eating.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  You fucking Ross Dress for Less noodles?

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:42H. Foley?

  Miss Pat, just so you know, the plan was to put you back through the wringer because you pushed back on the garbage, uh...

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Verdict, we said you were garbage, and you said bullshit, so we were gonna take another crack at you.

• 10:52H. Foley?

  So far, you got Crystal Light Lemon Heads.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Oh, you taking score, damn.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  So you think I'm garbage because I like Crystal Light and lima head? Excuse you!

• 11:03H. Foley?

  We grew up a Crystal Light family in my house. It was all Crystal Light.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Y'all could afford Crystal Light when you was young?

• 11:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  I had never heard of it until I became grown.

• 11:14H. Foley?

  Crystal Light was cheap.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Sir, that was no Crystal Light back then. That was Kool-Aid. That was your answer.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  That's different neighborhoods.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  No, Crystal Light ain't been around that long.

• 11:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, when I was a kid, we had Crystal Light. In the 90s.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Y'all had healthcare.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  I'm 49. We did, but through my dad. My dad was in the Navy. So we had Champis, was what it was called.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  How did y'all have Crystal? I had never heard of it back then.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  What year you got?

• 11:35Speaker 04

  Released to the public in 1984.

• 11:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  What?

• 11:39Speaker 03

  To the public, like the government was holding it back?

• 11:42Speaker 04

  It was invented in 1982.

• 11:44H. Foley?

  It was in Area 51 since the 60s.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  What? That's like when I discovered Chick-fil-A in the 90s.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  That's early for Chick-fil-A.

• 11:52H. Foley?

  No, Chick-fil-A's been around since the 50s.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  I know, but they weren't everywhere.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Yes, they was. You know the very first Chick-fil-A? It was in a black neighborhood. It was Greenbrow Mall. But it was white back then.

• 12:03H. Foley?

  What state was this?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Atlanta, Georgia.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  In Atlanta?

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Look, Greenbrow Mall was the first Chick-fil-A, I think.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  And then the Dwarf House was, um, was it, uh, uh, East Point?

• 12:12H. Foley?

  Who's the Dwarf House?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  The little people go in the house, in the little door. You never seen a Dwarf House?

• 12:17H. Foley?

  In Chick-fil-A?

• 12:18Speaker 02

  It's called a Dwarf House. They got a little door for little people.

• 12:20H. Foley?

  Wait, what's that got to do with Chick-fil-A, though?

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Sir, so when it's a Dwarf House, they sell hamburgers and other stuff. When it's Chick-fil-A, you just get the chicken sandwich. So the sit-down restaurant, uh, breakfast and everything is a Dwarf House. So they have a door and a door for little people to go through. Kids, anybody.

• 12:37H. Foley?

  No kidding? Wait, so, hold on a second. There was a restaurant called Dwarf House?

• 12:41Speaker 02

  That is. That's Chick-fil-A. It's called the Dwarf House.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Why do you, I don't get it. I'm so confused.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  I understand it now, yeah.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Explain it. The Dwarf House menu by Atlanta pops up.

• 12:53H. Foley?

  That's crazy, that fan.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  That's the Dwarf House. That's the best one to eat at.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Okay, molded after the founder, Truitt, Kathy's first restaurant. The Dwarf House offers sit-down, counter, and drive-through service for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, and they got other things than chicken sandwiches.

• 13:07H. Foley?

  Look at that.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  So it's more of like a restaurant?

• 13:09Speaker 02

  It's a restaurant. It's got a door and a door, too.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  A door, okay.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  It's got a small door you can go through inside of that door.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Gotcha. That seems, I mean.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Doorfau, I'm trying to say it without saying it. I need you to pay attention to it.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  Say no more. Where it all be, yeah, yeah, there you go, okay.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, so they sell hamburgers and all kinda stuff.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Menu highlights, they got hot brown, chicken and waffle combo, bacon sausage egg breakfast.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good.

• 13:33H. Foley?

  This is side note, I don't know if I asked you this last time, are you a Cookout fan? Do you like Cookout, the restaurant?

• 13:38Speaker 02

  No, no, you know what, that, that, them burgers too thin for me.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  Really?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  It's all that bread, you yeast infection, that stuff is too thin for me. I need my, I need to fill my meat. I'm black.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 13:52H. Foley?

  I don't know what you're talking about.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  I bet you don't.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  I said I'm black.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  We'll be right back.

• 14:05H. Foley?

  After this word from BlueChew. Oh man, that's too funny.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Ah, okay.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  Yeah, so we wanted, we wanted to, we wanted to ask you some newer questions.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:13H. Foley?

  Uh, congrats on the house.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 14:15H. Foley?

  Um, in the house, do you have the, uh, the automatic, uh, pepper grinder and salt shaker? Where, where it grinds it up? Where it does it, where you press the button?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  No, I don't have that one. I have one that came from, um, some pots, some high-end pots I bought. You just grind it and.

• 14:30H. Foley?

  Okay, okay, alright, it's okay.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  What do, uh, what do you got, what's in the, yeah, I think you told us there was three refrigerators last time?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Uh, I have one, two, three, four, five refrigerators.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  Five fucking refrigerators.

• 14:45H. Foley?

  Pat, what are you doing?

• 14:46Speaker 02

  And I have, uh.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Living life, let her be.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  I have, uh, they all Wolf, you know what Wolf is?

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Wolf, Wolf is very high-end.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Well, my stove's a Wolf, my refrigerator is Sub-Zero's.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  Wolf ranges are very, very nice. I believe they're German.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  They are very nice.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Very expensive, too.

• 15:02H. Foley?

  Where are the five refrigerators? You got one in the kitchen?

• 15:05Speaker 02

  One, one in, two in the kitchen.

• 15:07H. Foley?

  Two in the kitchen?

• 15:08Speaker 02

  That don't even look like they're refrigerated. Then I have one in the pantry that don't look like a refrigerator.

• 15:12H. Foley?

  You have one in the pantry?

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:13H. Foley?

  What's in there?

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  A pantry is like a whole nother kitchen. It's have a sink and a dishwasher.

• 15:18H. Foley?

  Oh, when you say pantry.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  So, you remember back in the day, and, um. Don't let me scare you when I say this. Remember back in the day when there was slave quarters and the slaves had their own kitchen?

• 15:26Speaker 03

  I don't know. I mean, I wasn't there.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  But you seen those movies, like Django. And you know when they go in that other kitchen?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Well, that's, those are came back in style now. So a lot of people are building those. And look, those little apartment pantries, they don't do those anymore. High end houses going back to the old type of kitchen in a kitchen. So if you open this door, I have a whole nother kitchen.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Gotcha.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  When you say pantry, to me, that's a door.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  It's like a closet.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  It's full of cabinets. It's got, it's got a dishwasher. It's got the microwave. It has a refrigerator. It has a sink. It has everything. It actually has two dishwashers in mine, in the back. And I have two dishwashers in the kitchen.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  You have four dishwashers?

• 16:04Speaker 02

  And I have one downstairs.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  What, are you opening up a hotel?

• 16:07Speaker 02

  No, I just decided, I said, I'm gonna do what the hell I wanna do.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  I love that. That's great. Okay, I have a question about the multiple refrigerators in the kitchen area. Five refrigerators. The pantry and or the regular, and you said they're hidden. Very nice. They look like the.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  They look like the cabinet.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  They look like the cabinets. Very, very classy. Very, very classy. Well, how do you separate what goes in where? Is it like drinks in one, food in the other? Is there ketchup in the one? Like, what is the breakdown?

• 16:35Speaker 02

  When you have a kitchen like that, I have two under counter refrigerators too. So I have one for the water and the drinks, and then I have another one just for my husband beer and wine and over here on the other side. So in the back, in the refrigerator, in the pantry.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  He's making out like a goddamn bandit.

• 16:49Speaker 02

  In the kitchen, in the kitchen, I mean, in the refrigerator, in the pantry, that's just like whatever can't fit in the big refrigerator. So it's like an overflow. Extra milk, extra egg, extra butter, all of that stuff.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  How many dozens of eggs, dozens of, how many eggs are in the house, do you think, right now?

• 17:03Speaker 02

  I use it by a big box of them, like, I think it's like forty-eight.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. No kidding? I didn't know you could get them like that.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can get them like that at Sam's.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  You're doing the white eggs or the brown eggs?

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Uh, I do both. I give the kids the white because they can handle illness better than I can.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Goddamn hormones.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  You know, they need to grow a little boobs. I'm old, I gotta be careful what I eat. You know, the kids can eat rum and noodles. I eat that shit, I'm gonna die.

• 17:29H. Foley?

  Kip, you know Helix?

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Shut up. I slept on one this night, last night.

• 17:32H. Foley?

  You got a Helix?

• 17:33Speaker 03

  I'm not Helix, man, everybody knows that.

• 17:34H. Foley?

  I got a Helix, Luke's got a Helix, Patty Foley's got a Helix. Gang, do yourself a favor, you want the best night's sleep ever, you go Helix.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:42H. Foley?

  You go Helix. You don't go to the store, you go Helix. You go, you take the quiz, find out how you sleep, takes two, three minutes, then they match you with the perfect mattress for you, that I promise, you are gonna get the best night's sleep on that you have ever had. We are a Helix family, and you should be too.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, uh, coming into, coming into the winter season, you're gonna get sick. Everybody's gonna be jammed up, you're gonna be sick. You don't wanna be spending a week in bed laying on some fucking hay bale.

• 18:07H. Foley?

  I love being sick in a Helix.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  You wanna be in a Helix, baby. That's how you gotta do it. You take the quiz, and match it with the perfect mattress based on your answers. I'm a Twilight man, we started off at the queen, we upgraded to the king.

• 18:19H. Foley?

  Having a lead.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  Um, award-winning, the Helix is the most awarded mattress, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. Go to helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site-wide. Make sure you enter the show name, are you garbage? Into the post-purchase survey, and let them know the boy sent you. One more time, helixsleep.com/garbage, do it.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  Do it. Kip, you like Shopify?

• 18:42Speaker 03

  I love Shopify.

• 18:44H. Foley?

  Do you like Shopify so much that we use Shopify when we sell our merch?

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, listen, we use Shopify, you know that, I know that, they know that, everybody knows, AYG's a Shopify company.

• 18:55H. Foley?

  They got all the gear. Shopify is the best. Shopify, do yourself a favor, you wanna run your business right, you get Shopify. We know we got a lot of hustlers out there. You're starting your own business, you're doing your own thing, you wanna use Shopify, look like one of the pros, like one of the big dogs.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, uh, Shopify's point-of-sale system is unified, is a unified command center for all your retail business. If you got in-store and online, it brings all those operations into one place so you can manage it, fantastic. Acquiring new customers is very expensive, and Shopify's POS can give you shoppers, give your shopper, keep your shoppers coming back with personalized experience, first-party data that gives your marketing team the competitive edge. It's information, they're gathering information, they take it so you can, hey, guys, you liked this last year, well, you might like this product too. Bada bing, bada boom, everybody wins.

• 19:43H. Foley?

  And as Newman said, when you control information... You control.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Okay, get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/garbage. Go to Shopify.com/garbage. One more time, Shopify.com/garbage. Do it.

• 20:00H. Foley?

  Who's all at the house currently?

• 20:02Speaker 02

  So I have custody of my niece four kids.

• 20:04H. Foley?

  Right.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  And then I have a 25-year-old son downstairs.

• 20:07H. Foley?

  Right.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  He's not going anywhere.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  No, he's not.

• 20:10H. Foley?

  I would not. You'd have to drag me out of there.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  He has, well, he has a whole basement. It has a full kitchen, a movie theater.

• 20:16H. Foley?

  No way.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  And he's just down there with my other son.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Can he walk? Can he leave the house from downstairs?

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Yes, he have a back door to walk out to the pool area in the pool house.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  That kid's fucked. That kid's got life by the balls right now.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, so next door, I have a podcast house, because you know I do a little small podcast.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  And it's two bedrooms, three bathrooms, and my daughter lives there.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, so she has a full kitchen, wash and dry, her own garage. It's a whole nother house.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  I thought, this is crazy.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  I gotta move to fucking Atlanta. I just got a rent-controlled two-bedroom in Washington Heights. My life sucks.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  No, you gotta come to Atlanta where your money go far.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  And there's a bunch of gay men you might get kissed on, but the discount for the housing?

• 20:57H. Foley?

  Bonus.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Foley just booked his ticket.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  You might get your face licked on if you end up in the wrong neighborhood.

• 21:06H. Foley?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Um...

• 21:08H. Foley?

  Are you gonna do the holidays? Will you do Thanksgiving this year at your house?

• 21:11Speaker 02

  I did Thanksgiving at my house last year.

• 21:13H. Foley?

  You were in there last year?

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:15H. Foley?

  I thought you were still building it.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  No, I was, excuse me.

• 21:18H. Foley?

  Take your time.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  I did Thanksgiving last year, and so I had nine Christmas, I had nine or 10 Christmas trees.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  Jesus. One in every bedroom.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:28H. Foley?

  All real?

• 21:29Speaker 02

  No, I don't do real trees, because I like to change my colors every year. I always like to... The thing is, is I grew up very poor, and we never had a Christmas tree. So I always love Christmas movies and Christmas, so, excuse me. So now that I got a little money, I go all out for Christmas. I mean the out, though. My house is, uh, my house has permanent lightings on them, so for every holiday, they call jellyfish lighting. They, they...

• 21:54H. Foley?

  I've heard about this.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  I gotta get eyes on it.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  They are the best. They are the best.

• 21:58H. Foley?

  I just heard about this.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  So, I had them put on my house.

• 22:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  And my house stayed lit up at all time. At night, it comes on. It's like security, like you can change the color at any time.

• 22:08H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  And so, I had my front porch done, I had wreaths all outside, I had nine Christmas trees, nine or ten Christmas trees, in the pool house, in my daughter's house. Uh, I had, I think I had like, I had one downstairs, five or six upstairs, me on the main floor, and I had two or three upstairs.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  That's fucking amazing. I mean, you're doing it so right. It's crazy.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 22:31H. Foley?

  So, are you gonna do Thanksgiving this year?

• 22:33Speaker 02

  No, I'mma just do it for my family. I don't wanna, I'm, I'm, I don't have enough parties. Everybody done seen the house.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  You know, and it, the times are tight. I don't got no money to be feeding everybody. So, I'm just gonna feed the immediately family.

• 22:44H. Foley?

  It's Christmas trees.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Last year, it's like, a hundred people came to my house.

• 22:49H. Foley?

  Really?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Yes, and I had a big pool party for the 4th of July, so, I'm kinda done.

• 22:54H. Foley?

  Gotcha. You're showing off the house, everybody's seeing it, now, now we're living.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, and then we, I'm tired of every time I do something, I have to change the locks and keep people out of a certain part of the house.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Really?

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Have you had anybody overstay their welcome?

• 23:07Speaker 02

  No, I don't let you overstay your welcome. Yeah, 'cause you know, I have a pool house, so it's, my pool house is really nice. So, it's like, you got a full kitchen, a full bath, a living room, and we got a pop-up bed. Somebody can live there. It's another house. And people always wanna stay in the pool house, and I tell them, "You cannot stay there. That, it's off limits, no."

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  But I do have two guest rooms inside of my house. But I, I don't do that. I have no problem saying, "You gotta go."

• 23:33H. Foley?

  It's two of us. Huh? It's two of us?

• 23:35Speaker 02

  You can visit, but you can't stay.

• 23:37H. Foley?

  Well, how long can I get? A weekend?

• 23:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, if, that's what you wanna do.

• 23:41H. Foley?

  And then Monday, I, you gotta, I'm out?

• 23:42Speaker 02

  I will ask you to leave. Uh, no problem. 'Cause you know, I'm busy. I got, you can go and stay with the dogs. The dogs out of the house, they got cable TV, they got air conditioning.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  I'm busy.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  They got a refrigerator.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 23:56H. Foley?

  Is there anything in the fridges that, um, like, i- i- is just you and the misters? Like, anything the kids can't have? Like, is there a certain treat or a certain snack that you guys like, that you don't want the kids?

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, but my husband have his own refrigerator in his room.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  You mentioned you guys are in different rooms.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, so in the master, my husband sleep there and then I have my own room. And when, it's my room over there too, but I prefer to be by myself, I'm going through menopause. So he has a refrigerator, a whole entertainment thing where he has a refrigerator and a freezer in his room.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  They have a full-size fridge?

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Uh-uh, it's like an undermount, under counter mount. So he can, um, he can put his beer, his whatever, his medication, whatever he need, he put it in that refrigerator and all his snacks and stuff.

• 24:36H. Foley?

  What's it, what would, what would be his go-to snack? What is he like if he's watching TV?

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Uh, nuts?

• 24:41H. Foley?

  Nuts, he's a nut, he's a nut man.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  Our man's a nut man, but...

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Cashews?

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, he like cashews. And he also like chips and stuff. He eat a lot of beef jerky, cause I have a little Oscar poodle, a Akapoodle. What is that little dog called? A Alapoo, what is it called?

• 24:56Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  The little curly hair dog.

• 24:58H. Foley?

  A poodle?

• 24:59Speaker 02

  A Oscar, what's my dog's name? A Asadoodle, yeah, that.

• 25:03H. Foley?

  Asadoodle?

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I bought a little Asadoodle from Walmart.

• 25:07H. Foley?

  Are you creating dog breeds down there too?

• 25:09Speaker 03

  Put it in the fridge.

• 25:10H. Foley?

  Miss Pac got some money.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  So I bought a little Asadoodle from Walmart.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  From Walmart?

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Yes, these white people sitting outside, they look like white trash and they were selling.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  You bought a dog out in front of Walmart?

• 25:21Speaker 02

  I bought three.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  And you're calling them three, you're calling them trashes, crazy. They saw you coming a mile away. This woman's, probably pulled up in a fucking big rig.

• 25:31H. Foley?

  Was it sight unseen or did you have to wait a couple of days to get them?

• 25:34Speaker 02

  No, so my daughter was at Walmart, right, and she's like, "Mama, this lady out here selling these beautiful dogs." And so I said FaceTime, and they was all in the crack, they looked like they were thirsty. And big old fat white lady sitting there, looking like she ain't fed these dogs. And I said, "Well, how much? Do you know I pay $800 a dog?"

• 25:50Speaker 03

  How many did you get?

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Three.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  I bought three Oscar, whatever they are.

• 25:55H. Foley?

  A Aussie. That's three more Christmas trees now you gotta get this year.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I, so now I've had him for over a year, his name is Louis. And I bought my grandson one and I bought my daughter one.

• 26:04H. Foley?

  Well, that's sweet. I like that. But you got, why does the dog have beef jerky?

• 26:09Speaker 02

  Cause my husband like beef jerky, so they eat it together.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  That's awesome, he sharing the beef jerky with.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  And I keep the dog in the house, I keep him on a pample.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  He's, he got a diaper on?

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Yes, at all times.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  I've seen that recently.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 03

  That's, that's very white woman behavior.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Well, I have hardwood floors.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Real hardwood?

• 26:28Speaker 02

  I have real hardwood floors.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  I got that laminate bullshit. I got that, I got that fake shit.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I ain't got no fake shit. I, so I have to make sure he don't piss on my floor. I mean, cause I'm black, I would beat his ass.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  I would take a house, you would beat the shit out of him.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Real quick, so it's a small affair for Thanksgiving. So what, 10, 15 people?

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Uh, probably. Just my son, family, my family, maybe a girlfriend.

• 26:55H. Foley?

  Hit me with a quick rundown of the menu. That, the turkey?

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Are you getting this catered? Are you cooking it?

• 27:01Speaker 02

  No, I'm black, we don't get that catered.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  You also got a dog in Pampers, I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Tell me you're black, get out of here. You're whiter than my mom. Drinking Vino Grigio and shit.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  I did live in Plainfield, Indiana for 15 years. So I got a little whiteness in me.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  We're gonna probably, uh, get a turkey from the honey baked ham store.

• 27:25H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  And then a honey baked ham and some collard greens.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  You're like a lottery winner, it's crazy.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  I'ma make the dressings and, um, uh, some yams and some other stuff. Probably fry some fish and we just gonna sit out on the back porch and, and it's gonna be us.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 27:40H. Foley?

  I love it, man, that's alright.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. You ever been to a black Thanksgiving?

• 27:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Oh my god, if you ever go to a black Thanksgiving, you will cuss white people the fuck out. I'm telling you, that cornbread stuffing y'all be eating, that is bullshit.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  What do you do?

• 27:54Speaker 02

  We make chicken dressing.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  The fuck is chicken dressing?

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  They got that at the dwarf house?

• 28:03Speaker 02

  So y'all use stone top, y'all just season it and put water on it and stuff it in the chicken ass. Black people make the cornbread and we make all of it from, from scratch. It's called chicken dressing.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  So if you know my podcast, one of my co- Moses is white. And when I first invited him over, he was like, "I can't eat at your house." He was so fucking scared. And I was like, "Chris, I'm telling you, if you eat this, you won't eat nothing else." And he ate at my house for Thanksgiving. He said, "I can't eat my in-law's food."

• 28:29Speaker 03

  You're getting the big man all hot and bothered over it. All this chicken dressing.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta go to a black. Stuffing a turkey with cornbread, Jesus. Yes, that's what white people do. That shit is horrible. Yes, we make all of them stretched. We make the stuffing from stretched. And it's called chicken dressing. Either gizzard dressing.

• 28:49H. Foley?

  You never had gizzard dressing?

• 28:53H. Foley?

  What's the matter with you?

• 28:56H. Foley?

  I had gizzards this morning.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Oh, gizzards are fucking good. They're not good if you ain't got no back teeth, though. You gotta constantly keep chewing. That can wear your jaw out.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Back chewy. Back teeth is so funny.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, because you gotta, you know, you gotta keep gr- you gotta get that gristle.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  If you ain't got no back teeth. All right, okay, um.

• 29:19H. Foley?

  You're doing great so far, Ms. Pat. Pat and I right now.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Am I winning? You better not call me garbage.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  But you got seventeen Christmas trees. Now we're gonna call you garbage?

• 29:31Speaker 02

  I know that's right.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  If you go out, you're drinking, you're drinking a can of Coke right now. Will you order? I'm a big Diet Coke guy. When I go out to eat, I'll order Diet Coke. If you order Coke out, will you order no ice, or will you order ice or extra ice? Do you have any?

• 29:45Speaker 02

  No, I order a light ice. Because I know they gonna cheat me.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  I knew that was coming.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  All those documentaries about Canada did a documentary how the United States cheat you. When you've been to Canada, they don't put ice in their drink.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, either it's Europe, yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, they just, they just give you the drink. But America cheat you out of half of the drink. If you pour that drink out that ice, you probably got that much. And you pay for a whole soda.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  A lot of the time, it's free refill.

• 30:10H. Foley?

  You know where they love to do that? On the airplane. I say, "I want the can."

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 30:14H. Foley?

  When I'm on the airplane. Because they'll just give me that little tiny plastic cup.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I asked, you know what? I go to the, I go to the Delta Lounge, and I, I just throw ginger beer in my purse. You know, the ginger beer? It is so fucking good. You can only get it inside of the Delta Lounge. Yeah, you ever been in it? I know y'all been in the Delta Lounge.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm Diamond.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, I'm Platinum. I'm three sixty.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm Platinum. You're three sixty?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  She's killing it.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  I've never seen one.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  She's killing it. I'm wood.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  You know the thing about being 360? When you have a problem, they take care of it.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Platinum do, they do too. But, I mean, 360, you get on the plane before the fucking pilot.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Well, I, I do, um, I do cam, but I do VIP.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Is that where they drive you to the thing?

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Yes, I do that every week.

• 31:02H. Foley?

  You, wait, so you get driven to the?

• 31:04Speaker 03

  To the plane.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, every week.

• 31:05H. Foley?

  And then you walk up to the outside?

• 31:07Speaker 02

  I walk up the side, yeah. Only because I don't like going through Atlanta Airport, that's where I live at. And it's just too much to get your bag. And it's just, it's easy for me, because I have a driver that pick me up and take me over to the airport.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  And it's just easy for me to get VIP to get me, run me through, drop me on a plane, take me to Delta lounge, and I'm done. I don't got time, then you know, people, black people are different from white fans. Black people don't give a fuck, what's your day is like? Give me a picture, give me a picture! And I don't want to say, "Look bitch, leave me alone." So I just go up the side of the plane and pull my hat down and I hide.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Uh-huh.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Because, they don't, you know, white people are like, "Hey, how you doing?" Black people don't care, they'll snatch on you, "I love you!" "Bitch, get your hand off me." Then I'm, I'm in a viral video fighting somebody because I don't want to take a picture, caught my wig going crooked. So, you know, I just say, to keep everything down, I'm just gonna go VIP.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  Smart, very smart, that's great, good for you.

• 32:02H. Foley?

  Speaking of the plane, um, obviously you're up front.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 32:07H. Foley?

  Of course, do you take your shoes off on the plane?

• 32:09Speaker 02

  Nig-, I mean...

• 32:13Speaker 03

  You're allowed to say it, we're not.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  I had to catch myself. That dirty ass carpet, is you crazy?

• 32:20H. Foley?

  I'm guessing that's enough.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  You, you see how many white people have their toes on that floor?

• 32:23Speaker 03

  That's crazy. I, I just, I just flew back from, from Europe last week and I saw a guy barefoot go to the bathroom and come back.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Oh my god!

• 32:31H. Foley?

  I'll do that in my socks!

• 32:32Speaker 02

  White, white.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Asian guy.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, white.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  Same thing. He wasn't black, I'll give you that.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  My skin was white, ain't no way in the hell. Ain't no way in the, not even a homeless person, black would've done that.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  Put the slippers on at least.

• 32:48H. Foley?

  If I take my shoes off on, say it's like a six hour flight, or something like that, it's a long flight, and I'm getting comfortable, I got my movie going, some snacks, stuff like that, I've had my meal. Alright, now.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  That is horrible.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  Well, at first, they give you the slippers, you put the slippers, I'll give you a pair of slippers.

• 33:03H. Foley?

  I can't fit in those things.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Let me tell you who I just flew, I just flew Emirates for the first time. You ever flew Emirates?

• 33:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 33:09H. Foley?

  What were you just on?

• 33:09Speaker 03

  I was on Singapore, was very nice.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  It was?

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, Singapore was very nice.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  I almost got on Singapore, I went to Saudi Arabia, then I went to Dubai. And when I tell you, Emirates first class.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like, it's like in an apartment.

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Oh my god. When I tell you, they wake you up to take a bath. Ma'am, it's time for your shower. Yes.

• 33:28H. Foley?

  Did you take a shower on the plane?

• 33:29Speaker 02

  No, I was, I had a panty line on.

• 33:31Speaker 03

  I told you I can't take my fucking shoes off.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  I had a panty line on, it was gonna make it.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  Now, if I would've just been drooling in it, it would've, I would've had to take a bath.

• 33:39H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, a panty liner, what do you mean?

• 33:41Speaker 02

  A panty liner catches the secretions that fall out of me.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  I can't believe you needed that fucking display, explain.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Sir, every vagina leaks, so, everything that leaks.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  You ever see one, huh?

• 33:53H. Foley?

  No. Seen it in some videos.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  You a big guy, it's easy to have sex with you, just kicking your stomach, your dick pop out like a cash register. That's easy.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  Y'all are so warm. You know the hardest thing about giving a fat person head, is when you lift they stomach up, they dick is hot. Like ninety-nine degrees.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  It's like an air fryer down there.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Yes, and your makeup and eyelashes will fall off. It is, it is work sucking a fat man penis. Because it's so warm down there. You ever did it?

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Girl, let me tell you.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  I thought I was gonna get into saying, yeah. Man, Miss Pat just obliterated us. Hit one shot.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  Hook over, I got fake eyelashes on.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Oh, you gotta take your makeup off before you give a fat man head. I'm telling you, that is some work that I'm out. And they, they balls are like, it's, it's like it's been in a. Hey, I'm not on trial here. I'm just telling, feel his nuts, I guarantee you.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  I've seen them, they're not great.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Oh, they're bad. No, touch them, they hot. Yeah, they're, they're, they're hot. Cause I'm telling you, he's thick between the leg. So everything is just right there, heating up at all time. And as he walk, they're boiling.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, as he walk, they're boiling. Ah, she's not wrong.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  She's talking like you're not here.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  If he te.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Shit, pull his nuts, pull his nuts out right now. I bet, I bet you, I bet you, they're, they're 102 degrees.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  If he teabag a bitch, it, it'll burn her skin.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  I mean, that's never gonna happen. Teabagging a bitch.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  He got some money, I know some people in the hood.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  He does not have money.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Yes, he do. I spent it all.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  He spent it all.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  You should buy a black vagina, I'm telling you, somebody will fall in love with you. They'll cook for you, they're, hey.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Get your chicken dressing.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  You know what, and white, black women are getting into white men.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Are they?

• 35:41Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 35:43Speaker 03

  That's what I read in the monthly reports.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  I bought it hook, line and sinker. It's not my thing to do, but hey. I've never been with a white man.

• 35:56Speaker 03

  No? How long you been with your husband?

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Thirty-two years. Look at that.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  I met, we've met him, we met him on the cruise, very nice guy.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  You sure did.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  We did the honeymooner, the newlywed game together.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  He didn't know shit about me.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  He didn't.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was so, I was like, how do you not, these fans know that I like Ice Cube? What the fuck is wrong with you? He said, he said, he said, I thought all, all women like Denzel, well, who the?

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Oh, it was your celebrity cross and yours was, yeah, and she was like, you know I love Ice Cube.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  I was like, what the hell is wrong with you? Denzel Washington is such a good answer, though.

• 36:28H. Foley?

  Oh, man. Alright, so you don't take your shoes off on a plane?

• 36:31Speaker 02

  Hell, no.

• 36:32H. Foley?

  Do you ever bring food on the plane? Will you, uh, not just snacks, but you wouldn't bring like a tuna sandwich on the plane?

• 36:38Speaker 02

  Nah, cuz I'm in first class, so if I'm flying far, I'm gonna eat regardless.

• 36:41H. Foley?

  Right.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  And then I go to the Delta lounge, so no, I don't ever bring food.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Okay, so here's something that has been a little bit of a topic of discussion, okay? Do you, now, not the Delta lounge, let's say maybe before you were in the Delta lounge, okay? Would you get to the airport a little early to have breakfast before your flight?

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Uh, before the Delta lounge, I was poor, so I probably ate at the house.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  Not doing a thirty-five dollar breakfast.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not doing no thirty-five dollar breakfast at no crappy-ass airport. No, I would eat at the house, so, no.

• 37:15H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Now, with that Delta 360, can you get anybody in the lounge? Like, you could probably show up with ten people and get in the lounge.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  I could. I could, because I, um, I do the VIP package, so...

• 37:26Speaker 03

  What's that cost you?

• 37:29H. Foley?

  She's killing it.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Five fifty each way.

• 37:32H. Foley?

  Five fifty each way?

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, five hundred fifty each way.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Good for you. Plus, you gotta, you gotta driver to get you there, too. That's a hundred and fifty.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Good for you. You're doing it.

• 37:43H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  No, I'm not doing it, it's just, it's just convenience.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  You don't have to tell us. Yeah, I'd be doing it, too.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  You are doing it. You, you just, you probably just don't wanna do it. You could do it.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  No, I know, listen.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  But then, you know, I, I also have, uh, I also have staff, like, I have two assistants, and, you know, they, we dragging luggage.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  No, yeah, we travel with six people. We get, I get it, it's a lot.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  So, you, if you did the VIP, and then, do you pay for all of that luggage?

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're first class, so...

• 38:09Speaker 02

  No, so listen, if you, if you, so, if you're first class, and you're traveling with six people, everybody traveling with you supposed to get three bags free, did you know that?

• 38:19Speaker 03

  I didn't.

• 38:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  I didn't know that.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  So anytime you're first class, everybody in your party get three bags free.

• 38:26H. Foley?

  I've been getting ripped off for four years.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  Write this down.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  I've been paying extra bags. I just got fucking bent over a barrel in Seattle.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Yes, so you don't have to pay for bags, uh, when you, when you're first class. Uh, wait a minute, you platinum, so you get, how many bags do you get free?

• 38:40Speaker 03

  I think three.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  So if you get three. So if each of y'all get three, everybody in your party is supposed to get three. So when I go on vacation, it's eighteen of us. All eighteen of us.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  Delta hates to see you guys coming.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Eight, all eighteen of us get their bags free, that because you're, because of your status. Do you have an American Express card? Yes. All of that, what the fuck?

• 39:03H. Foley?

  Wait, you got an American Express card?

• 39:05Speaker 02

  I have six of them.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  You got six of them?

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Yes. Did you get the new one with the mirror face?

• 39:11H. Foley?

  No.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  I lost my wallet. Miss Pat's from the future.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Bring me my mirror face American Express card.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  What's the meal? I got the soup, I got the pasta.

• 39:17H. Foley?

  And get me a thermometer.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  No, it's platinum. It's the platinum, but they came out, they just came out with the mirror face. Oh, they so nice.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  You know you're doing well when you can scream, "Bring me my mirror platinum American Express card."

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Yes, and they, everybody ordered them. Everybody ordered them, but when you got American Express and you got platinum and diamond.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  You have to when you're traveling.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Yes, so you get that, you actually get everybody in your party, uh, bags are free. Everybody get up to seventy pounds, so when I'm traveling with my sister.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  He's at least four fifty.

• 39:51H. Foley?

  And my testicles run hot.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  I'm checking you at the special luggage.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  You're wasting money.

• 39:58H. Foley?

  Gang, let's talk about BlueChew.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Woo, I'm bricked up right now, gang.

• 40:01H. Foley?

  It's cuffing season. Do the kids still say that?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 40:04H. Foley?

  No, but it's snuggle season.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 40:07H. Foley?

  It's in bed season.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:08H. Foley?

  It's making love.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  Making boots.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  Season, that's what we're talking about, and listen, I'm an older guy, I got a couple of pounds on me. I need a little bit of help in the boudoir. Don't feel bad about it, just reach out to BlueChew, get it delivered discreetly right to your door, and you'll be, uh...

• 40:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, you'll be hard in no time. We're talking boners on demand, baby.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  We'll detour to Boner City.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Uh, guys, this isn't just about performance. It's about legacy, AKA third legacy. Give her group chat something to talk about, which, listen, everybody could use from time to time. Uh, let them know when you lay it down and how things get up when it goes down. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little BlueChew. Discover your options at BlueChew.com. And right now, we got a deal for our listeners. As always, you get your first month for free of BlueChew. Just use the promo code GARBAGE at checkout. Pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Five bucks for shipping. Cover to shipping. Join BlueChew's mission to upgrade humanity, one thrust at a time. Head to BlueChew.com for details and, and safety info. And big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.

• 41:13H. Foley?

  Yeah. Okay, let's talk about Chubbies.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Shout out to Chubbies, gang.

• 41:16H. Foley?

  Fellas, you want to look sharp this holiday season when you're meeting the family? You've got to check out our friends over there at Chubbies. From family dinners to holiday parties, Chubbies has you covered. So you can focus on being yourself and letting the good vibes roll. This stuff is so comfy that it should come with a warning label. As temperatures start to drop and the weather gets grim, they got flannels, pullovers, quarter zips to keep you warm. Stylish, ready for anything. From freezing your tail off at a football game, to crushing donuts and a pumpkin patch, and holding court by a bonfire, Chubbies has you covered.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  I still got the thing they sent last year. It's a blue flannel. It looks fantastic. I'm already, I already got it set. I'll wear it on Christmas. It's awesome. Uh, listen, they got, they got stuff you're wearing in the, at the beach. That's how they started, the bathing suits. And then they took over that market. They're like, now you know what, we're taking, we're taking over the winter. They got outerwear. They got the quarter zips. They got the sweatshirts. Full, everything you got, everything you need, they got you covered this season. For a limited time, Chubbies has given our listeners 20% off your purchase at Chubbies with the promo code GARBAGE at checkout. But if it, if it's Black Friday, skip the code and take advantage of even the bigger markdowns during the exclusive Black Friday sale. You don't even need the code. Just go to chubbyshorts.com and make sure to support our show and tell them the boy sent you. Do it, please.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  Give it to me, yeah.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Hide it for a high, oh, yeah.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Well, you can't see the number.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  I won't turn it around. So, I won't turn it around.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  What the fuck? That's like from Men in Black.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  So, it's this one.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  Woo!

• 42:48Speaker 02

  This is the new platinum, and it's free. All you gotta do is just call American Express and say, "I want the new miracle." It's the same number, don't nothing change. It's just, it's just the hottest shit to have when you pop out.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's pretty good. She puts it in her titty.

• 42:59H. Foley?

  She put it in her bra.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Foley pulls his out of his nuts?

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:06H. Foley?

  Mine's a TD bank card.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, so do you use all the points? I mean, all the, uh, free stuff that you get with American Express?

• 43:13Speaker 03

  I think so. Well, they like, I know, I was just looking at it, uh... I gotta get better at this stuff. We got a guy, I mean, we have a business manager now that, I don't think he's doing that, but... They get the ducks like the clear and the all TS.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  But you get so much more with American Express.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  You do get a lot of stuff, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  You get so much, oh my god, you gotta get a woman on this. Men don't know shit. I'm telling you, you gotta get a female to find out what's all your points.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  I know, we're a team full of guys.

• 43:37H. Foley?

  Man, we stink.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  And I wanted to, I wanted to hire a lady, but...

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Your wife said, "Hell, the fuck, no."

• 43:42Speaker 03

  No, she, she suggested it, uh, but...

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, white women have to be careful. This is what I notice when white women have successful husbands. And Burt Kreischer, wife do it good. She don't put no bitches around her husband, and I don't blame her.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, for sure.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  And, and, and Leanne, do not play that shit. But, the problem that your white, most white women do, is y'all go out and let y'all husband hire people with better titties. No, motherfucker, your titties are up too far. Come back when they're sagging, and then I give you a job.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  No, I, I...

• 44:12H. Foley?

  So, if there was a nanny to be hired, you wouldn't go with the young?

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Uh, as you, no. I sure would, I mean, and let's be honest, men will fuck anything. Look what Arnold Schwarzenegger fucked this made, and she look like one of y'all.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Her testicles are huge.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  So, you really can't stop it, but I'm, I'm definitely not gonna just bring it in the house.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  No, I, it makes, it makes sense. I just, I didn't, I didn't think it would be a good work environment, you know what I mean? Where...

• 44:40Speaker 03

  I don't know, you can't bring a lady into this. You're a comic, so you get it, but like, you can't bring a girl who graduated from fucking-

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Well, you need to hire you a good gay guy. That's a girl and a boy.

• 44:51H. Foley?

  We got a guy from Cornell that works here.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, get you a good gay guy who's into travel- Traveling, and they, they, they, they look like boys, but they react like women. And they gonna save you some money. I said that, I sure did. Not them.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Your show just got canceled.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Who's show? My daughter is gay as hell. I am all for you eating what you choose to eat. Hey, eat it till you get to heaven or hell. Hey. My daughter been eating it since she came out of me. I don't think I said that right.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  My daughter get more pussy than both of y'all. Take my word. She got dildos and every, she do not discriminate. She have all kind of dicks.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, what the fuck?

• 45:33Speaker 02

  My daughter has made Amazon a lot of money.

• 45:39H. Foley?

  Will you take leftovers from a restaurant, Ms. Pat?

• 45:41Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 45:42H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 45:42Speaker 02

  I take my food home.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  Do you have a favorite frozen pizza in the house?

• 45:47Speaker 02

  No, sir, I do, I do not have that. Some things I cannot eat anymore.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Really?

• 45:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. I can't, I can't eat like, uh, sardines in a can. I can't eat polished meat. You probably don't know what the hell that is.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  What's that? Polished meat?

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Polished meat.

• 45:59H. Foley?

  Potted meat.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Potted meat.

• 46:00H. Foley?

  Yeah. Like Vienna sausages.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  No, it's like, if you smash the Vienna sausage.

• 46:05H. Foley?

  Oh, I know what you're talking about.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's, it's really good, but it's, you know, and, um, uh, what's that other meat? Sauce meat? You know what that is?

• 46:13H. Foley?

  What about Spam? Will you have Spam?

• 46:14Speaker 02

  No, I won't.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  Did you used to have it?

• 46:16Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah.

• 46:17H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  And sauce meat is really good, too.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 46:20Speaker 02

  When you learn, it's all, everything left over from the dick, the neck, the eyeballs of the pig, just grind it up, and into this little block thing, but it's really good with, with, uh, with, with, with saltine crackers.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Salt, okay.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's really fucking good, but I can't eat that point at all.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  I'm gonna have to take your word for word on it.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, the next time I come, I was, uh, tell me to bring you some sauce meat, and, uh, we can try the post-struggle, black people food, and then y'all bring the post-struggle white people food.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  And we bring this country together.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  There we go.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  And see what the fuck it, you know, how we overcame.

• 46:52H. Foley?

  Ramen noodles, uh, hot dogs chopped up in beans. That would be one.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  Beanie weenies?

• 46:57H. Foley?

  Beanie weenies, yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  I would eat them-

• 46:59H. Foley?

  Shout out to the beanie weenies.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  You know what? I don't even eat like- And I'm not bougie, but I won't eat like, uh, uh, uh, off-brand hot dog. I can't eat off-brand food.

• 47:07H. Foley?

  What's the brand, what's the brand, what's the brand name of hot dog? Like Ostermeyer?

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Ballpark, Nathan's?

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Those are okay hot dog, but I eat, uh, Nathan's.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Goddamn.

• 47:15H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  But you can get them on sale. So I wait till they on sale at Kroger and I buy the shit out of them.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  What, you freeze them?

• 47:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I freeze them.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  I just got yelled at.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  You gotta know when the body is up in these shit. You know, I'm not just gonna go in there and give you $25 a pack. When you running the sale, give me the whole, whole shelf. I walked in the Home Depot the other day. They had these boxes of trash bag that got smashed. I bought the whole fucking shelf. There was $23 bag that was marked under $10. I bought the whole pallet.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Are they, were they like, are they kitchen trash bags?

• 47:44Speaker 02

  They're kitchen trash bags. They had got some shit dumped on them. They had been outside and crushed the boxes. I didn't care. I called up all my friends, said, "Come give me these $10 and come get these trash bags."

• 47:53H. Foley?

  You sold them?

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Back to my friends. I don't need all of them. I ain't gonna hoard a shit.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. I buy, if I see something on clearance, I buy the whole shelf.

• 48:03H. Foley?

  You like going shopping? You like taking the day and going out?

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I love shopping.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  How many people are involved in that operation, would you say, when you, when you do something like that?

• 48:12Speaker 02

  If I'm looking for a certain thing, you know what's great about my fans? I call them the crack babies. So if I'm looking for something, I can go in my Facebook group that called Ms. Pat Crack Babies and I can send out a crack baby signal. And I say, "Hey, can you go to your local Home Goods or Home Depot and see if you can find this item?" And then they'll shoot, "I'm on my way, Ms. Pat." And, and they'll mail me, they'll mail me the stuff. They will mail me the stuff that I'm looking for. All the time. If I'm looking for something on sale, fabric, whatever. I, I mean, there been time I met people in Chicago when I lived in Indiana. Because I bought something off of Face, Facebook Marketplace.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  You're still doing, Jesus Christ.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  What?

• 48:51H. Foley?

  Talking about walking in both worlds.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  I know, you're nuts. Um, now you, you, you, you find this pallet of trash bags. Can you, you handle that on your own or do you call someone and say, "Hey, meet me at the Home Depot"?

• 49:00Speaker 02

  I called my son, said, "Bring the truck." I gotta say.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Bring the truck.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Yes. I'm a, I shop.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Theory, yes, I mean, I look for sales.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 49:10Speaker 02

  I do crazy coupons, I cut coupons.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Really?

• 49:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:14H. Foley?

  And you go big, when you go, you go, you go big as far as you're gonna get a lot of one item to have it.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  To save money.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Yes, all the time. My husband, you ought to, I get a package to my door every single day. To the point where the UPS man is like, damn, thank you for keeping me employed. FedEx, Amazon, all of those.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  I shop a lot.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  What's that, that truck, you said you call your son, bring the truck, what is that truck?

• 49:40Speaker 02

  What is his, the truck, uh, uh, twenty twenty-five, uh, Town and Country?

• 49:45H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  My husband's truck.

• 49:47H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  Twenty twenty-five, very nice.

• 49:50H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  Somebody wrecked his other car, so we, we, uh...

• 49:53Speaker 03

  You upgraded him?

• 49:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was, I, he had a twenty twenty-three or something.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  When he retired, so it, it, somebody got into a wreck, and then we, I just bought him a Town and Country.

• 50:04H. Foley?

  Aw.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:05H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Very nice.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  What do you drive?

• 50:08Speaker 03

  Uh, a pre-owned, not certified, but a pre-owned Mercedes.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Small, the little SUV.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  I drive one too.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Do you?

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Not that one.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  What one do you got? You probably, I mean, you got one that probably fucking like a spaceship.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  No, I have, I have a G-Wagon.

• 50:26H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  That G-Wagon's a tax write-off, this broad's good. Over six thousand pounds.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  Yes, you should buy one as a...

• 50:33Speaker 03

  Why, I don't have G-Wagon money, that's crazy.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  You can buy anything.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  I got the GLB two hundred. I got the smallest, the size of a kitchen table.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  But why not get it as a tax write-off, that's why I bought it. And, you know what?

• 50:43Speaker 03

  I gotta ride around like I'm fucking fifty cent or something like that.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  I don't ride around in it, well, you know, I was riding around in it, and, and I bought it for a tax write-off, and I was riding around in it until...

• 50:54Speaker 03

  That's TikTok accounting, dude, by the way.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Well, it did work, cuz I called my accountant, they said, yeah, you can write it off, but I put brakes on it for the first time, ninety-eight hundred dollars.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  I parked that bitch, it's not for me. I parked it, it's just, it's an ornament for the garage. Ninety-eight hundred dollars is what I paid at the dealership for brakes. And so they have this guy on Facebook in Atlanta called the Brake Guy. So he said, well, I put, I put the brakes on your G-Wagon, but it's gonna, it's gonna be making that squealing noise, because I don't have the computer to reset the, the, the... I said, dude, I can't do this in no G way. So I put the brakes on.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  Can't turn it into a hoop, too, real quick.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  I just parked it and I bought a Lexus. That's the best thing.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  What Lexus you got?

• 51:36Speaker 02

  I have the big one, the 2025.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  The big one. She just walks in, give me the big one.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got kids.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  It's cheaper to maintain. It's the best car I ever had. Yes.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  How many cars would you say you have total?

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Uh, probably nine. Yeah.

• 51:57H. Foley?

  She's doing all right.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  You have any, like, old school car that you?

• 51:59Speaker 02

  I do. I just redid my husband's old school. Did you see it?

• 52:02Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:02H. Foley?

  No, where'd you get them?

• 52:03Speaker 02

  Uh, we have a 70 and a 72 Chevelle. So I did his 70 Chevelle over. My 72 is being done now. His is almost done.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  Yes. I did it custom. By the way, if anybody want to do, in the business or comedian, you want what yours done, Carlos Miller from 85 South, you know who that is?

• 52:22Speaker 03

  I know of him. Yeah, I don't know him.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  He redo them.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  He does it?

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. He hooked my car the hell up. It's beautiful. It is beautiful.

• 52:30H. Foley?

  Or if you need contractor bags, cheap.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  No trash bags.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  Ten bucks.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:36H. Foley?

  You still got it? Do you still have a surplus of them?

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Yes, I do. So, you know, I think the apocalypse is coming with the government and everybody acting crazy right now. So I put this whole shoving thing in my garage, both of my garages. I have a four-car garage. And I've just been packing it with food and supplies and bleach and Kotex and tampon in case we gotta take off and run through the woods because I think they gonna, uh, hamas tell us. So, uh, I'm trying to get ready. So I put three deep freezers in my garage. Yeah.

• 53:04H. Foley?

  That's a lot of hot dogs.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, you know, in case some pop off, if we have to stay in the house, I got enough food. In case we gotta run, we got enough Pantalinas and Kotex.

• 53:13H. Foley?

  I'll be dead in 15 minutes if something happens. I got nothing.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  You gonna be all right.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. So you, your wife haven't started getting ready for the apocalypse?

• 53:24Speaker 03

  No. No. We don't, uh, I, we ran out of toilet paper this morning, if I'm being honest. I had to go buy some angel salt at the store.

• 53:32H. Foley?

  Oh, that stuff will get you. That's like a, that's like a sleeping bag. Those things are thick.

• 53:37Speaker 02

  Okay, y'all must not be in the black chat group.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  I tried. It won't approve me.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  We ready to take off.

• 53:44H. Foley?

  Oh, why? Is word coming down that, that, that things are getting dicey?

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Shit, yeah. You not paying attention. To the point, we thinking about painting ourselves white.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  I need Vigorago. What is that when black people turn? Vigorago.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  Vigorado, like I graduated with.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  That sounds like Dracula's cousin.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I need Vigorago, so I can stay here.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  That's what I need to tell black people. We need to get Vigorago.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  That'll keep us here. You won't be able to tell we black, because you know when they, when black folks turn that, we be your color, pink.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  Is that what I am, I'm pink?

• 54:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Last time you told me, last time you told me my eyes were gray.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Your eyes are what?

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Gray. Because I asked you, it went crazy viral. I asked you if you open your eyes underwater. And you said, damn, white people sure is nosy.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Who open their eyes up on the water?

• 54:37H. Foley?

  Ms. Pat, will you dance at a wedding?

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Will I dance at a wedding? You know, my gay daughter is getting married.

• 54:43H. Foley?

  Congratulations.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's getting married to her girlfriend, looking like LeBron James.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  So, I might be dancing at a wedding. A lesbian wedding is kinda weird to plan, because I'm planning a lesbian wedding. And, you know, it's two girls.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  That's a lot of dildos.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, you know, I was talking to my, my daughter-in-law daddy, he want her to walk down the aisle. Excuse my French, and I'm like, she can't walk down the aisle, she a bitch. So she gotta wait up at the top, you can bleep that, because I don't want to fuck with your sponsor. She gotta wait up at the top like a real man.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Oh, so she's the, in the traditional sense, she's gonna be the groom waiting. You're going...

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Yes. My daughter is a girl.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm sorry, yeah.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:27Speaker 03

  So her, but your daughter's girlfriend's father wants to walk her down the aisle.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you can't.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  And you're going, no.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  She the boy.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Not when she's built like LeBron, I guess.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  No, she can't walk her down the aisle, she the dude. So my daughter is a girl, she look just like me. So she gotta wear the dress, and she gotta wear the pants.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Can't they both be, I don't know the cut, can they both be in dresses?

• 55:50Speaker 02

  No, she look more manly than you. I'm telling you, she need to take the tuck.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  She need to take the tux. If you put her in a dress, it's gonna be like Wu Fong Chu. Who did that movie? Wesley Snipes did. It's not Wu Fong Chu.

• 56:09Speaker 02

  It's Tuong. Tuong Fu. What Wesley Snipes did, that's what you gonna be looking at. Magic Swayze? Yes. That's what it gonna look like if she put on a dress. You don't want that. You don't want that. I'm telling you, she's a real man. Oh, but it passed out.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Where is the wedding? You gonna have it at the house?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  No. I'm not bringing all them gays to my house. No, no. I don't know what they throw. I don't know what they throw. Rice, or dicks, or vaginas. No, no, no, no, no, no. She told you about having to change the locks on the dude. She had people over for the pool party. No, we gon- She's not having the wedding, dude. No. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. We gonna go to church. We gonna do it at a church. I don't know, a pool hall or something. But it's having a pool hall. I don't know what gay people get married to beach.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Basketball court.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  A basketball court? I don't know. But, well, I don't, I don't even know what the food gonna be.

• 57:08Speaker 02

  Tuna fish.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  Hot dogs. My daughter's so gay, she won't even eat a hot dog.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  Now...

• 57:21Speaker 02

  And she been gay all her life, and I'm thankful for her not dibbing and dabbing. She just straight clean vagina.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that's good.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  She been eating it ever.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  She knew what she wanted. Now, is that, um, now, is that something you're gonna help foot the bill on?

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I'm gonna see if it's a write-off.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  Live streaming or something?

• 57:39Speaker 02

  You gonna do it in the G-Wagon? No, I'm gonna try to write it off, you know, cuz it's, um, it's a minority thing.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  I, I'm just, I'm, I'm assuming.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  I don't think that's right.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  I'm trying to get them to push it back.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  If so, I'm gonna make Luke gay and have a wedding this weekend.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Well, hopefully-

• 57:56Speaker 03

  We're coming up on the end of the year.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Think about it, if we get D E I back, we can write it off. So, we, we gonna have to wait.

• 58:06H. Foley?

  How do you feel about chips on a sandwich? Like potato chips on a sandwich? Do you go for that?

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:11H. Foley?

  You do that? Okay.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  I do. Fried baloney, sometime I get that.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  Very nice.

• 58:15H. Foley?

  So you'll have a fried baloney still?

• 58:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, sometime I get that urgent. When I'm little, you know, I wanna taste that. Struggle.

• 58:22H. Foley?

  When you cook the baloney, do you snip it?

• 58:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have to. Sort of rise and a hump in the back, and then a drop in the middle.

• 58:27H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Then you pour mustard right there in the middle. Put some cheese on it, some chips.

• 58:31H. Foley?

  You put mustard on it while it's in the skillet?

• 58:33Speaker 02

  No, after it come out. On your bread.

• 58:35H. Foley?

  And then you'll throw some chips on that?

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, and if you wanna be fancy, now you throw some onions, some grilled onions on it.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Not too bad. How do you feel about the Dorito?

• 58:45Speaker 02

  I don't like the Doritos. They too hard for, I don't got no back teeth, so I don't really, you know.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  It's a take a lot to chew them for me.

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 58:53H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 58:56H. Foley?

  How do you feel about the bread and butter pickle?

• 59:00H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  Oh, don't nobody eat that shit?

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Who eat that? You would never catch that in no black household, baby. A bread and butter pickle? That shit is nasty.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  No!

• 59:14H. Foley?

  That's a draw in the line?

• 59:16Speaker 02

  Yes. We don't eat that.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Have you ever been to a vineyard?

• 59:21Speaker 02

  What is that? That's a wine?

• 59:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, where they make wine? At all, no?

• 59:26Speaker 02

  No, we got looker stores in our community.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Fuck we going to a venue for? When you got an Asian owning all the looker stores in the black community? Don't play like you don't know what's in my community.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Fuck, I'm going to venue.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  With all due respect, you live in a 15,000 foot house. I don't think you're in the community.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  I don't, I'm not in the community, but I remember the community. And, and, no, I ain't been no vineyard.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Okay, I've never been either, I'm just curious.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  I know somebody named Virginia.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  I was being 15,000.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  But I ain't been no vineyard. What the hell I'm going out there for?

• 59:58Speaker 03

  How do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes?

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  Crayola?

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, like what does Crayola make?

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  What do you mean, what do Crayola make? Crayons.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Crayons, okay.

• 1:00:07H. Foley?

  Crayons, okay.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  We pronounce it incorrectly, both of us.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  What do you say?

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  I say crown.

• 1:00:11H. Foley?

  I say crayons.

• 1:00:14H. Foley?

  Crayola crayons.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Crayola crayons.

• 1:00:18H. Foley?

  Between that and the bread and butter and pickles. I'm not getting the invite to the wedding.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  Uh, no you're not. Alrighty. Cray- crayons.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  Uh, what, uh, do you have a hotel you like to stay at?

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Ah, yes. I love, when I go to LA, I love to stay at the, uh, what's the name of it?

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  The London. You ever been to the London?

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  No. We're a fucking, a Hyatt. Yeah. Kind of crew.

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  Better than Moxie?

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Y'all are Hyatt, cause you wanna be a Hyatt. But, um, the, the London-

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  We got too many people.

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  She's bringing eighteen people on vacation.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Not to the London.

• 1:00:53Speaker 02

  Not to the London, no. But, um, I usually go there too, when I'm doing promotion.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  But I'm going there next week, cause I'm, I'm promoting the show. But, uh, it's really nice. So, I, I do have a thing with hotels. If you don't, if you don't put me in what I want, then I go buy my own shit.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. We were, we were mentioning that.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  Cause when you, sometime when you go to the Hyatt or the Hilton, like, if I stay in one of those, I would say, "Housekeeper, come take these sheets." Cause I don't know if y'all noticed, if the sheets are not stained, they don't have to change them. So, you on top of somebody else from the night before. Yes. That, that top cover is the nastiest shit.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  Oh, the top thing is, yeah.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, and if, if the person, they make a mess, they don't have to change it, as long as it look clean. You never seen no hotel things? So, when I go to a Hyatt or Hilton, I say, "Take the whole bed, the pillows, everything, and give me fresh linen."

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Yes, and they get mad sometime, but I don't care. Now, if I, I don't do that at the London, cause the London is changed, they shit.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  That's my, I love the Rich Carlton. When I'm on vacation, it's really nice. But you also know your American Express can get you-

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  We, we, we stayed at, uh, we were in Austin. Was it the Ritz? We stayed on points. We won't, we'll only ever do it on points.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  So, you know if you got a, you know if you got any Chase card? Cause I be, I'm a credit card stupid.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  We're all, I have a-

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  So, if you got any- Yes, you do.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  I have the Amex.

• 1:02:16Speaker 02

  Okay, that's all you got, the Amex?

• 1:02:17H. Foley?

  You have a Chase card, debit card, don't you?

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  So if you had a Chase card.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Maybe, yeah.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  If you had a Chase card.

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  I don't think there's any money in there.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  If you had a Chase card, you can change your Chase card over to a Rich Carlton card, which nobody ever has, because they don't give them out anymore. You have to request it, and you have to have a certain amount of credit limit for them to give you one. So I have a Rich Carlton card. Miss Pat knows everything. I be researching. She knows. All you have to do is go on TikTok and you'll know everything too.

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  I didn't even, and nobody, Rich Carlton don't advertise this card. They stopped years ago.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Sounds like a guy, Rich Carlton.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  Yes. You see it? It's a Rich Carlton card.

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, you see the $10,000 credit line at least.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  I'm out.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Yes. 10 grand?

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Where am I gonna get 10 grand?

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that's what your credit limit needs to be to get the Rich Carlton card. But I had a card that, it was a Sears card, and I had it for years, and I just changed it over to the Rich Carlton card. It's just status.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  I love it. Uh, I got one, I mean, what's on, you know, you're doing, uh, quite well?

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Very well.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  You're on the road?

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  I'm okay.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Um, what's on the rider?

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Oh, that's a good question. Oh! What do you like in the green room?

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  What do you like in the green room?

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  So I like, uh, I asked for, what's that blue and white bottle, local? Azul.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  You'll do all, the big, tall, fancy?

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  So let me tell you what I do. Oh, that thing? Yes, so. Is that what's in there? Booze? Yes.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  Behind the bar, what do you think it was, perfume?

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't know what it was. So I, uh... I thought it was somebody's ashes. That is in my rider, because every year I give my fans a party called Miss Pat Fan Celebration. So I invite fans from all over the world, they pay a certain amount, like $200, $250, and they buy a ticket, and it's a three-day event with just me.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  No shit?

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  I have it all set up, from a party to a podcast. This year, they got to watch the first episode of The Miss Pat Show, and, um, I had a breakfast with them, and I did a comedy show, all for $250. I set up the hotel for them, a block for them.

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  Who does that?

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  I do, every year. So I put all of this alcohol in my rider, so they get top shelf alcohol. So you have it at the end of the year? Yes. So this year, I had 50 bottles of Azul.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  So you don't drink, you don't open it?

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Uh-uh. I shouldn't tell that secret. The clubs are gonna be like, "No bitch."

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Nah, they gotta pay.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can't do it. You can't do nothing. Yeah, so Hennessy, everything Top Chef is, I get it the whole year. That's genius. And I just take my fans and they party the whole weekend.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Where you do it, Atlanta?

• 1:04:47Speaker 02

  I do it in Atlanta. We just had it like a week ago.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  We were talking about, I want to do something like that in Philly. With our fans. I just, it's too much to try to figure out.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  No, it's not. I planned it out for a year and I do, this year I sold, it was a costume party. And I pick a theme, so it was me taking them to the Oscars. And I hired a planner and it looked like they was going to the Oscars. And they all dressed up in different costumes. And what was the theme, Jazz?

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  It was movies. Cause we went to the Oscars, yeah. By the way, Jazz hasn't missed one.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's out.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  Spot on out there.

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  She's a hundred feet away. Killing it.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  So it was movies. You had to get a character. I came as Coretta DeVille. And so, it was beautiful. It was, I fucked up her name.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  He fucked up a lot of names that we didn't call you on, if I'm being honest. It's Rich Carlton.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  Cruella de Vil.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  You're the only person with a Rich Carlton card who calls him Rich Carlton.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Wait, you said Greta De Vil? Coretta De Vil. Coretta. Coretta's great. Well, whatever. You know what I'm trying to say. Of course. So, I do it every year for my fans.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  And this is the thirteenth year that I've done it.

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  We were talking, I would love to do something like that for our fans.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  And you know what, they show, you know, a lot of times, and I look at fans like this, we, you know, we do give them a service, which is comedy. And we take from them and it's my way of saying, "Come hang out with us for a weekend."

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  And they will come. They will come because a lot of people don't have time to do that. But I take out one week a year, which is in October, and I do it with my fans.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  And every year I'll be wanting to start, they'll be like, "Please keep going." The first year I had it was over 600 people. This year it was a little over 300. And it's mainly because of the economy.

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  People come from Australia, Canada, Europe, everywhere.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  Everywhere.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  That's fucking nuts.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Yes. Is Miss Pat not the best? Yes, and you know, I, I take all the money that I get from them and I put it in the party. I don't make any money.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it just goes back to the...

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  I hire a designer and it's top notch food. I hire a caterer, it's top notch. Look of bartenders, you just feel like, you feel, I want them to feel like a celebrity.

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  That's awesome. I wa- because we were, I was talking about it because, you know, some of the venues, as the venues get bigger, you can't do meet and greets anymore.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  Because they're just too big and the venue just, you know, can't facilitate it. Um, so I feel like, because we always do meet and greets, we always did meet and greets and it was a cool way to interact with everybody and stuff like that.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  One big party, they would love it. They would love it. You get your designer and you let her handle, you get your venue and then you just, you know, charge them a fee, which I charge is a weekend thing. I charged $200 last year and I had the guy who do the Michael Jackson play here in New York, who won the Tony.

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  I can't afford him. What the fuck?

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  No, but he did, he was a friend, so I brought him in. You'd be surprised. I brought him in and he did a fabulous job. So every year I give him an entertainer along with that. So where are you gonna get all of that at for $200 or $250? Now we're coming this year. I'm coming to Miss, I'm going to Miss Pat's. You gotta do it. They, they, you know what? They will forever thank you for it.

• 1:07:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's such a cool idea.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  And they will forever keep supporting you. And nobody does it. And it's Miss Pat fan celebration. And they love it. And then this year I got BET plus allowed me to show them to the first episode of the Miss Pat Show. Because we running a little over a year from coming out, because all of this Paramount stuff. So they was like, you can show it to your fans. And boy, they lost it.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  They lost it. And they love it.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  The best.

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  She's the best. I love my fans.

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  I'm gonna say this and maybe you get slapped, but you're 100% garbage, but I, I love you.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  I'm garbage?

• 1:08:31H. Foley?

  I'm gonna go against you.

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  I got a G-wagging.

• 1:08:35H. Foley?

  We did this last time.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:08:38H. Foley?

  How are you saying this lady's not classy?

• 1:08:41Speaker 02

  My underwear finally matched. And I'm garbage? Last time I was in here, my set didn't match.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  I care now.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  You know, when you black your parents, I always say, keep your drawers clean in case you get kidnapped or you get hit by a car. You don't want nobody to take you to the hospital, no dirty ass drawers. Y'all never heard that as a kid.

• 1:09:03H. Foley?

  Somebody said a bit about that, did he have clean underwear on?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Yes. You, I always say, keep your drawers clean in case you get in a car accident.

• 1:09:11H. Foley?

  Ladies and gentlemen, one of the absolute best, one of the funniest people

• 1:09:14Speaker 03

  My favorite.

• 1:09:15H. Foley?

  on the planet. Season three, Miss Pat settles it on BET and BET Plus, and she's also on a national tour. MissPatComedy.com for tickets. Miss Pat, we love you so much.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  I can't thank y'all enough.

• 1:09:25Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 1:09:26H. Foley?

  We love you so much.

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  I gotta tell you this. I love coming here. Let me tell you why. It's a little, a little knockoff store next door to you.

• 1:09:32Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  So I go shopping for my child.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  Cause yeah, she called us.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  This is how I remember the podcast. I was like, oh, I gotta go do, oh, you garbage, cause they got my little store next door. I bought two bags of shit today.

• 1:09:44H. Foley?

  That guy probably didn't know what hit him. He's probably down there scratching his head.

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  I go every time I come, I was like, I be telling pal, get me over there. I gotta go shopping.

• 1:09:54H. Foley?

  You're welcome anytime. We love you so much. Congratulations.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Come on to the Black Thanksgiving and get you some chicken grease.

• 1:10:00H. Foley?

  I'm in. Kippy, what do you got for him?

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  Uh, guys, Philadelphia, uh, get your tickets. And Atlanta, we're at the Buckhead Theater. And then, uh, Philadelphia, we're at the Met. All tickets available on Garbage.com.

• 1:10:11H. Foley?

  Gang, season three, Miss Pat settles it on BET and BET Plus. Do yourself a favor, check it out, Miss Pat. Again, we love you.

• 1:10:17Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:10:17H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.

• 1:10:20Speaker 05

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