Dusty Slay Returns!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Dusty Slay! We're picking up right where we left off last episode! You know Dusty Slay from Stand Up Comedy, The Tonight Show, Nateland w/ Nate Bargatze, Ted Talk, Somethings Burning w/ Bert Kreischer, We're Having a Good Time Podcast, and his specials "It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere", "Being Poor in the Trailer Parks" and "Wet Heat" and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Liquid I. V: Savor the last bits of summer with Liquid I. V. Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://LIQUIDIV.com and get 20% off your first order with code GARBAGE at checkout. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. X-rays came back negative. Okay. It's only meniscus damage in her left knee, and Toody will be ready for the start of the NFL season. I can't wait. It's good for her. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I worked with that Toody for like two hours and didn't even like it. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, also full video available over there on Spotify, and I gotta be honest, we're climbing the charts over there on Spotify. We're coming for that number one spot.

• 1:08H. Foley?

  Doing all right.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Just passed 15,000 Patreons over there. Go check it out, gang.

• 1:17H. Foley?

  Yes, sir. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited of our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest back with us again today. We only got to the age of 19.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26H. Foley?

  That's the level of garbage we're dealing with. He is in the running for the king of garbage.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 1:32H. Foley?

  He's been talked about almost every episode since he's been here.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  He's got a brand-new special out on Netflix right now. Wet, heat, do yourself a favor and give it up for Mr. Dusty Slay, everybody.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:43H. Foley?

  The king is back.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  Well, I'm so pumped to be here. This is the best podcast I've ever done.

• 1:47H. Foley?

  Aw.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:49Speaker 03

  And, uh, people really liked it, and I was like, how, how would I ever do another episode? I almost was like, I'm, you know, I'm afraid to do another episode.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  No, I'm getting out of here.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  Because people would be like, "Oh, he was garbage in his early life, but he couldn't keep it going."

• 2:04Speaker 02

  I mean, listen.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  Well, after 19, after 19, did you end up going to the Sorbonne or Oxford or something like that?

• 2:10Speaker 03

  No, no. No, no, I kept it going.

• 2:12H. Foley?

  Think we'll be all right.

• 2:15H. Foley?

  Buddy, how are you? Congrats on the special.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Thank you. I'm doing great.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  How many, what's this number of this Netflix special? Your second, your third?

• 2:22Speaker 03

  It's my second Netflix special, but I do have a half hour that I did before.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Right.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  And then I also have an hour on YouTube, so, you know, it could be...

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Guy's cranking out material.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Killing it, man. He's killing it.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Guy stands and delivers material.

• 2:35H. Foley?

  I love the title, too.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's about a 70-minute special, and then this guy, I saw a comment, of course I...

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Really fucking bragging over here.

• 2:43H. Foley?

  I like 22 minutes, myself.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  I find the negative comment, this guy goes, "Oh, yeah, he did two old jokes." And they had to be like, and I know one of them, but it... But it's a new setup for...

• 2:57H. Foley?

  Sure!

• 2:58Speaker 03

  I was like, "I can do this." It was on my Netflix half hour, but I was like, "I could do this, and it'll help get into this other thing." But it's like 30 seconds of old jokes, and it's 70 minutes. I could've just did 60.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  60 and a half.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Right, it's like, "Don't be upset about that 30 seconds."

• 3:14H. Foley?

  Yeah, you rework, you rework stuff, you find all this...

• 3:18Speaker 02

  This is a guy who doesn't have the material for our new tour.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  It's hard right material!

• 3:24H. Foley?

  Nah, I got fresh, I got fresh stuff in my pocket right now. And it's not old, it's certified pre-owned, right?

• 3:30Speaker 03

  And it's also like the half hour, I felt like I didn't know if people really saw it.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Sure, listen.

• 3:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  So I want them to see it.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  It's one guy.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  "Get out of here."

• 3:40Speaker 03

  And he deleted his comment.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Man, you are...

• 3:42Speaker 03

  I did comment. I get on there, I get into the comments.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  You're in it deep.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  I can't help it.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Might have had something to do with you swatting his house.

• 3:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's so funny now, huh? All right, let's get back into it, all right? Last we left you, you were 19, you had signed up for the Army, and then got immediately released because of a little smoking doobage, I think is what it was.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I got arrested for, I was, had weed and alcohol in the car.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I was drinking in the car, but I wasn't... Listen, I was ready to join the army.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  I was committed to that. I was running. I quit smoking cigarettes. I was ready. My recruiter was like, "Hey, you're about to join, you're about to go in, you're about to get shipped off." And he's like, "I know you like to smoke weed." So he's like, "If you're gonna do it, do it tonight, because you'll get shipped off in 30 days and you'll get another drug test." That's a crazy thing for a recruiter to say. Yeah, he did say, "I shouldn't say this." Fair enough.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  All good ideas follow that. Listen, between me and you, we'll get fucked up there.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  And then I, so I, I went and hung out with some buddies and then we were gonna go meet these girls, that I'd never met.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  It's like a country song.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Go hang with some buddies, meet some girls.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  I don't even know if the girls- That was definitely in an open field. Yeah. I don't even know if they were real, because I didn't know them prior.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  And I never made it to their house.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Never met them.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  And it never, we never followed up. You know?

• 5:10Speaker 02

  Those were good old days when it was just like a group of, you know, just like, "Oh, there's a group of girls at the next school."

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  They may or may not have existed.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, you know, we were on our way, out, out the door, a buddy goes, "Hey, I got, you guys want these beers?" And he goes, "I'm not gonna drink them." So me and my friend, we took the two. All we had to do was not open them, you know?

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  There was no reason to open them.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  It was two beers?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  Two beers. One for me, one for him.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  Gentlemen, you'd think the army would want a kid like that. This guy fucking parties. He's ready to go.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  You would think, right?

• 5:38Speaker 02

  I don't know about that.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  But, on the, on the way, we opened them. And it was, you know, again, we could've just, 'cause I thought, "Well, this'll be cool." You know, we're-

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Pull up to the girl's house.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  To the girl's house, we're drinking, we're getting out of the car, look at us, we've been drinking and driving.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  That is pretty cool, I gotta get that.

• 5:54H. Foley?

  Just join the army, what's up?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so.

• 5:57H. Foley?

  Ship it out tomorrow.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  But, you know, but we get pulled over, 'cause I'm, I'm on the interstate and it's like, and my exit is next. Yeah. My exit is next, and the cop's there and he's going real slow, and I'm like, "What do I do? Do I go up?"

• 6:13Speaker 02

  I got chicks on the line.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  What, he's driving?

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  He's driving, and I pull up behind him and I'm like, "Do I-" Hit the lights?

• 6:21Speaker 03

  I'm like, do I pass him? Beer's getting warm here. And then immediately get off? Or do I drive behind him real slow? Uh huh. So I kinda did both. I drove behind him real slow. And then I go, I can't do this. So then I went around. This is suspicious.

• 6:35H. Foley?

  Oh, you idiot.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  I know.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  And then when I got off.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Cops don't like it when you pass them.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  I know, I know. But I was like, he's going too slow. It seems suspicious to ride behind him. I do get that too, though. Like, this is, this is entrapment. Yeah. This is a setup.

• 6:51H. Foley?

  Plus, you're high and drunk.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Losing my buzz here, bro. Right, if I'm sober, yeah, you just go right around.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  It's not weird. You risk the ticket, but...

• 7:01H. Foley?

  You just drove in the middle lane real slow with your lights, high beams on?

• 7:05Speaker 03

  But I had the idea. Somebody told me one time that if you, if you're ever, if a cop's following you, just pull over and then take the keys out of the ignition. And then you're like, I'm not driving. That's dirtbag logic, though.

• 7:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, that doesn't work.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  I don't know if it's true, but that's what someone told me.

• 7:19H. Foley?

  Well, how did you get here, sir? I don't recall.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. But that's what they say and, and... Sitting there eating your keys? And I did use this a couple of times later in life, but this time I said, you know what? No, no, I'm just gonna keep going. And then I got pulled over.

• 7:34H. Foley?

  So you, did he pull you off? Did he exit with you?

• 7:37Speaker 03

  He exited with me and then pulled me over. You're fucked. And then I, I just had these two open beer bottles, so I'm like, well, I could leave it here and just let him see it, or I could stuff it under the seat. Let it spill out and him smell it. What'd you do? And that's what I did. I stuffed it under the seat. I respect that. And then my friend had weed in his pocket and he stuffed it in his beer bottle. So then it became mine, because it's in my car now. He couldn't jump on that charge for you? No. Actually, his dad confronted me later, wanting me to take the charge for both. Whoa. Because his son had been in trouble with me a couple of times. Oh, you're a bad apple. That Dusty's a bad seed. But it was him getting me in trouble. Okay.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  This time?

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Both times.

• 8:22H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was, had a party at my house once. This guy got... Sounds like you're the bad, sounds like...

• 8:28Speaker 03

  It's your party at your house, Dust. I don't know how to break that to you. You're the bad guy.

• 8:32H. Foley?

  So one time I kidnapped this lady, alright? Stay with me.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, this guy, and then a guy showed up, everybody was a little annoyed with-

• 8:39H. Foley?

  This is at the trailer?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  This was at my mom's house.

• 8:41H. Foley?

  House?

• 8:42Speaker 03

  We moved out when I was 15, out of the trailer into a, into a house, just in time to get a driver's license, so I didn't have to have Lot 8 Moore's trailer park on my driver's license.

• 8:51H. Foley?

  Sure, that's a weird thought.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  I remember that, yeah. Which was good for me. But, um, really good for me.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  But, uh-

• 8:59H. Foley?

  Got me into Harvard.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  But, you know, so I had a party and this guy showed up that everybody was a little annoyed with, so my buddy, who was with me in the car, went over, smacks this guy, and then the guy leaves, and I think he called the police.

• 9:12H. Foley?

  Ah, what a dick.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, anyway, so-

• 9:14H. Foley?

  And the place got raided?

• 9:16Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, and then the cops came and-

• 9:17H. Foley?

  How old were you at this time, with the party?

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Uh, 17.

• 9:20H. Foley?

  And what'd they do?

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Well, they just came and busted the party, and it was cool. There were some out of town girls there. It was gonna be, it was gonna be a great night. It was gonna be a good party. Yeah. It was like, one of the best. Yeah, I feel like the South has a lot of out of town girls.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  Out of town girls.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  It was gonna be, it was gonna be a good one. They made the drive, oh, they got on the interstate, the whole nine yards.

• 9:40H. Foley?

  Officer, we got out of town broads here!

• 9:42Speaker 03

  I got out of town trim on the way, you're jamming me up! Ah, they were, and the cops were there, and other, I could see other people about to pull in, and realizing the cops were there, I was like, this was gonna get so good.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then I got arrested. Uh, well, I didn't, no, I didn't get arrested, the cops just called my, my mom. That's nice. So my mom came home with her boyfriend, who was also drunk.

• 10:06H. Foley?

  Hold on, where was your, your mom was in a way?

• 10:07Speaker 03

  My mom, you know, she was at her boyfriend's house.

• 10:10H. Foley?

  You threw a party when your mom was in town?

• 10:12Speaker 03

  She would be gone for days at a time.

• 10:14H. Foley?

  Okay, so she was over there, she stays over there?

• 10:15Speaker 03

  That's out of town trim right there.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're all doing it, we're all doing it. Cut some out of town broads line down.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  Her boyfriend calls you up, "I got out of town girls over here, you're fucking me up now."

• 10:33H. Foley?

  Okay, that makes sense.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  That's funny.

• 10:34H. Foley?

  Because you know-

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Sorry. I do have to say, I apologize for referring to your mom as Trim. I had to take this way.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  No, that's funny though.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  But you realize that you don't throw a party at your house unless, unless your parents or mom is out of town. She's just over at her boyfriend's house.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  But she's staying there probably.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  It was technically a different town.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm with Dusty on this one.

• 10:58H. Foley?

  But she's not on vacation. She could come back if she forgot something.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  But at 17, that's the, you're taking that swing.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Also, I don't think his mom's going to Turks and Caicos for the next few weeks, you know what I mean?

• 11:09Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  So, that's, that is, that's out of town.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  She showed up when I was having parties, you know, and.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Would she care a lot or just?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  She would not be happy that all these people were in the house, but, you know, usually everybody kept it cool and it wasn't like.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Low-key.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  It wasn't like the house was so pristine that, uh, you know, there was, things did get broken, but it was, you know.

• 11:29H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Not that big of a deal, but.

• 11:31H. Foley?

  That's Rent-A-Center's problem, huh?

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Call-up shack.

• 11:39H. Foley?

  I'm only leasing this shit, need it.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I quit making payments anytime.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  They come back and pick this up right away. I don't want it no more.

• 11:48H. Foley?

  I like, okay, so the cops break it up.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  They break it up, they, they, well, the part, yeah, and then my friend who slapped the guy was in his car, in the driveway, out the window, throw up on the side of his car, so he gets his parents called too. Everybody else just has to go home.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Hmm, good old days.

• 12:07H. Foley?

  That's good.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  Just go home.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Get out of here.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  It's his, you know, it's his fault that he got in trouble, you know? I mean, sure, I had the party, but handle yourself.

• 12:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's not, that's not on you.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:18H. Foley?

  That's not on you at all. But since that happened, the dad's kinda looking at you as the.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, so now it's me and that guy again, in the car, getting arrested.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  And.

• 12:28H. Foley?

  You got arrested this time.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  This time, when I got pulled over, I did get arrested.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Got open beers in the car.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  Open beer.

• 12:34H. Foley?

  Do you remember what the beer was?

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Uh, I don't remember.

• 12:36H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  I would think it was a Bud Light.

• 12:38H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  That was kinda the beer.

• 12:40H. Foley?

  Probably not an import.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  It wasn't a Newcastle.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  No, definitely not an import. I would've said no to the, at that point, I would've said no.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  The hell is even that?

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:50H. Foley?

  Boy, what are you doing drinking Hohen Garten?

• 12:53Speaker 03

  That's an extra charge in this county.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  I'm gonna need to see your passport.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Is that a fucking orange in your beard? So we never made it, uh, to the, to the girls. And then, uh, we ended up in jail, local, you know, at my hometown. And, uh, there was a guy in my cell who we knew some similar people.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  And another guy-

• 13:13Speaker 02

  That was very, that was very defense attorney, yeah.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  We had known similar people. And then another guy down the way, we went to high school with, and he yelled to me. So it was fun. I mean, it was like, hey, you know, we're all, it's a nice reunion here.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  And then, uh, yeah, and then I called my brother-in-law. He came and bailed me out, cause he's the one guy that wouldn't tell on me. Now, I wrote a joke about this, that it was a, he came to pick me up in a dump truck. He says it was a tow truck. I don't remember, but either way, he came and picked me up.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  I mean, I think the fact you're arguing over a tow truck or dump truck, it's safe to say.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  And I always said that I, you know, my nightmare was a five-year-old's dream. I got to ride in a police car in a dump truck all at once.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  That's a good bit. That's a good bit. I don't care if you did that on a half hour. That's a good bit.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  That's alright. Yeah. I've reused that joke a few times.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  How does your brother-in-law have access to both? A dump truck or- Well, that was the kind of work he did, you know. He would, you know, he had a-

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Jack of all trades.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  He had a lot of jobs where the weather determined whether he went to work.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Okay. A lot of road work. Right.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  And I guess, alright, so at 19, that, this is the, you get busted, you're not joining the army.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  So now the army recruiter comes to my, I had to go in and tell them. I go, hey, I got arrested. So the army recruiter's like now trying to like figure out how to still get me in.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  They can't get you in with a DUI?

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Well, that, you know- Was it a DUI? No, it was underage consumption of alcohol and possession of marijuana. So I had those two things.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Both misdemeanors.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I got youthful offender, which means it's not on my record. Nice.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  That sounds pretty religious. Hey, youthful, youthful offender.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Sounds like a good name for a band, youthful offender. Good Christian band. Probably is, yeah. Yeah. But the, so, and then the recruiter now is like trying to fit, he, he wants to, he's concocted a lie to, to, he said, I have a big family reunion that I need to go to. So I need my ship-off date moved, because my court date comes after my ship-off date, so I, so I can't go. Okay. I could go in- This guy's a closer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he came to my house and I, he was ringing the doorbell, knocking on the door, and I was like, I'm just not gonna answer, and- He stayed until I did.

• 15:21H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  I don't think he was ever gonna leave. I would still be trapped in the house, he would still be ringing the doorbell. This guy was not gonna leave.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Closer.

• 15:30H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 15:30Speaker 03

  I think it's hard to get recruits.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  This was pre 9/11 too, so I don't know, but anyway.

• 15:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, that was tough. My dad was a naval recruiter. He said the easiest time was right after Top Gun came out.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  He said it was like signing up.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  He's got a book. After anything for you?

• 15:49Speaker 03

  I bet so, I mean, I was just trying to get, I was just trying to get out of my hometown, trying to get some, some college money.

• 15:55H. Foley?

  Some out of town girls.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  Not a country.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  I could go to them, they don't have to come to me.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  You're an out of town guy.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that's what I wanted to be, an out of town guy. I'd never, I'd never been an out of town guy.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  You know, but in, so, uh, so, he drove me to the thing, they denied the request. So, then I had to get a lawyer, and then, um, I ended up getting nine months suspended license,

• 16:22Speaker 03

  two, uh, several fines, uh, community service, it seemed like a lot.

• 16:26H. Foley?

  What was the community service you had to do?

• 16:27Speaker 03

  I had to go pick up trash.

• 16:28H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  The guy was great though, the trash guy.

• 16:31H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 16:32Speaker 03

  He was like, he, like, I did like half the time and he goes, ah, you're good.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Sign the sheet, yeah, that was 10 hours today, yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:39H. Foley?

  On the highway, down there.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  And even then, there were guys, I mean, my town was not so small, but small enough, there were guys in jail on the bus that I knew.

• 16:49H. Foley?

  Hey man, what's up?

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they were trying to get me to bring them stuff, and I was like, listen, I'm not, I'm on probation, I'm not trying to get in worse trouble.

• 16:58H. Foley?

  Like bring sandwiches, or like bring stuff?

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Like gum, but I was like, if you're not allowed to have gum,

• 17:04Speaker 02

  I'm not bringing it.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna bring it to you.

• 17:09H. Foley?

  That's a real good point. Gum? You can't have gum?

• 17:13Speaker 02

  You're jammed up if you can't have gum.

• 17:16H. Foley?

  Okay. I don't know what situation you're in, where you can't get a stick of chew.

• 17:22H. Foley?

  At any point.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  The state of Tennessee has said this cannot happen.

• 17:26H. Foley?

  Yeah. Gang, this is an ad by BetterHelp.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 17:29H. Foley?

  As you know, Kevin and I started our mental health journey not that long ago. Uh, we're both working on ourselves.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Speak for yourself.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  You know, going off the rails on a crazy train.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 17:40H. Foley?

  Hey, listen, here's the turkey, here's the bottom line. If you've got something that you're dealing with, whether it's big, whether it's small, whatever it is, could be something from your childhood, or it could be just something you need to talk through. I'm telling you right now, as a guy who resisted talk therapy, BetterHelp will help you. Go online, talk to a licensed therapist in your own home. You don't gotta, you don't gotta go to an office, you don't gotta deal with this, you don't gotta deal with that. You can immediately start getting something off your chest that you need to get off, and I promise you, BetterHelp will help.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yes, and these days with the internet and your phone, there's videos, hey, cold plunge, do that. Do the info, do all these different things that can or can't-

• 18:16H. Foley?

  Talk it out, baby.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  Can or cannot help, it's tough to find out what works for you. And use trusted resources, and talking to a live therapist can get you personalized recommendations and help you break through all of the noise. Uh, let's talk Cheddar. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/garbage. It's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash garbage.

• 18:44H. Foley?

  Can't but talk about True Classics.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 18:46H. Foley?

  You see this piece of crap right here?

• 18:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 18:48H. Foley?

  Not a true classic.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 18:50H. Foley?

  That's why it's itchy, that's why it's hugging up at my throat, that's why it doesn't hug the guns, and it's tight around my waist, and I look like an absolute bozo. If I was smart, I would've grabbed the t-shirt right next to it, which is a true classic. But I didn't, because I'm an idiot. And you don't want to be an idiot, so do yourself a favor, get over to True Classics and get the best t-shirts you're ever gonna wear. And here's the other thing.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 19:13H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this, pinhead.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Okay, I don't know why you got beef with me, but sure.

• 19:17H. Foley?

  They got a whole bunch of stuff on there.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  It's not my fault you picked a bad shirt today, you should've went True Cl- I've been telling you True Classics for years, and you're doing bozo shirts.

• 19:24H. Foley?

  Ruined my whole day.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  Which is ruining my day.

• 19:26H. Foley?

  The best t-shirts in the game, True Classics, they also have tons of activewear, so do yourself a favor, go to that website, you know the rest.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, forget overpriced brands.

• 19:35H. Foley?

  I'm out.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Skip the cheap, throwaway stuff. True Classic is built for comfort, but the last built to give back, baby. You can find them at Target, Costco, or head to trueclassic.com/garbage and try them for yourself. Do it. Uh, alright, so what's the living situation? Are you on your own, you with your parents, with, or with your mom?

• 19:53Speaker 03

  You're at your mom. I'm still living with my mom.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Still living at your mom.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  New house. New house, but after this, uh, and I, I'm, it's a little fuzzy on the timeline. It could've happened right before or after, but... You got all them beers in you. Yeah, I bought the trailer that I grew up in.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  I remember that, yes.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, for a thousand bucks.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  And you and your boys were hanging out there.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  And we all moved back there.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Okay, we did touch that a little bit.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  And then that's where I lived until about 2003. This was all happening in 2000. Okay. The arrest. And so I lived there till about 2003, and then I moved to Charleston, South Carolina. So this is the left turn, right here. You didn't go into the army? Didn't go to the army. Had you thought about comedy? No, comedy never crossed my mind. Nice. I just was like, I need to get out of here. Until I was 30. I was like, I gotta get out of here. Now, I, I love my hometown, actually, this, uh, past year, I went back to my hometown. I got to be the grand marshal of the Christmas parade.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  And a key to the city.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  That's pretty good, look at that.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Did you tell us this last time? No, no, this has just happened. You got a key to the city?

• 20:53Speaker 02

  You might be the first guy that has a key to the city.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Small city, yeah, yeah, I know, thank you.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  You should run for mayor or something like that.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  A key to the city. And even...

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Was it big?

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Uh, well, it's a small key.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Small key.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Small key, but it's in a case, yeah. Did you ever see, did you ever see the cop that pulled you over or no? I actually, I worked at Office Depot after that, and, uh, I did see that guy. Well, this was in between moving... Oral surgery, what do you think he was doing there? Well, I was delivering pizzas, and then when I lost my license, I couldn't deliver pizza anymore. So I went to work at Office Depot, stocking shelves. Nice. And, uh...

• 21:27Speaker 02

  Is that a good gig?

• 21:28Speaker 03

  It is a good gig. I, I was getting high a lot, and...

• 21:30Speaker 02

  Air-conditioned?

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Uh, air-conditioned.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Inside?

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Inside, and I was, I started being the, like, the receiving manager, but I wasn't the manager, I was just the receiver, I guess. And so I would go in at 6:00 a.m., unload the truck, so I was like, it was perfect, because you can get really high at, you know, 5:30 a.m., and everybody just thinks you're sleepy.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Ah, that's pretty good.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  So, for two hours, the store's not open, I'm high, unloading the truck.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Tony Bears, whatever.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, you know, it was great. That's pretty good. So you see the cop? I see the cop. I don't do anything, but I do see him.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  I didn't think you were gonna beat him up.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  He was still in uniform.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  Really?

• 22:10Speaker 03

  And I wanted to...

• 22:11H. Foley?

  He didn't recognize you?

• 22:12Speaker 03

  No, I mean, I guess, you know, he probably arrested a lot of people.

• 22:16H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  He didn't seem like a very nice guy.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  He was a little overweight, and I remember the guy saying to another, when he arrested me, he goes, "Fat guy's on a roll." So, he was just, you know.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Fat guy's on a roll?

• 22:29Speaker 02

  That should be your motto.

• 22:31H. Foley?

  Let me ask you this, did you...

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Hey, I...

• 22:36H. Foley?

  When you got, when, when, when he busted you, did you happen to say to him, "Hey, I'm going into the army"?

• 22:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. I said...

• 22:43Speaker 02

  I'm sure you opened with that.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I said, "Well, I'm going to the army."

• 22:46Speaker 02

  I don't fight for your freedom to...

• 22:47Speaker 03

  And I'm, I'm scared this is gonna mess me up. He said, "This is gonna mess you up, or you're gonna mess you up." Meaning, this is your fault.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  You've, you've, you've made your bed.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  I gotta say, 2,000, a cop, young kid, going in the army? If he wasn't a real dickhead, he would've looked, he would've done something to help you out.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  How you gonna believe this guy? He's got open beers and he's high. You believe this? He could say anything to get out of this situation.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  I think he could've checked it out.

• 23:15H. Foley?

  He could've checked it out.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  I'm glad he didn't.

• 23:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, no kidding.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  I would've been in boot camp, you know, when September 11th happened, so... And people, I've, cause I've talked about this before, some people have trashed me, like, and I was like, I'm not trying to act like I was a, you know, trying to be a hero. I really was going for free college.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  For the benefits, yeah.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  For money.

• 23:32H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  I thought, I was real dumb, and I thought, "Who's gonna mess with America?" You know what I mean? I thought, we're never...

• 23:39Speaker 02

  We're killing it, dude.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Wow, who's gonna mess with...

• 23:47H. Foley?

  What are they gonna do?

• 23:48Speaker 03

  We'll never be at war again.

• 23:50H. Foley?

  Couple of years in Hawaii, no big deal.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  I mean, I worked with a guy at Papa John's, and he told me how he was in the Navy, and he told me how fun it was, and...

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Wait, he was in the Navy, and he's back at Papa John's? So, I mean, you, you could've just bypassed the Navy and stayed at Papa John's.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  I wasn't connecting a lot, you know?

• 24:09H. Foley?

  Plus, I picture you at boot camp, everybody with their head shaved, and you looking just like...

• 24:12Speaker 02

  I picture him just like that.

• 24:13H. Foley?

  You got the hat on?

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  What you yelling for, man?

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't think it would have been good for me.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  No, no, I think, yeah, of course, that's, uh, okay. So Office Depot, then what was the, what was the string of jobs?

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Well, from, from, you know, from there, it was Papa John's and Office Depot were my only jobs until I left Opelika. Which was my hometown. Right, in 2003. 2003, yeah. To Charleston, South Carolina. And then I transferred with Office Depot. Whoa.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  You got corporate involved.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Did they pay for your move? No, no. They didn't pay for my move and there was no raise. Uh, so, you know, my rent went way up.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, cost of living.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  And I got no raise. But I was employee of the month the second month I was there.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Well, yeah.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  The other Office Depot in Opelika, they were threatening to fire me for insubordination, they said. And I said to them, I don't even know what that means. And... What were you doing, other than getting high in the morning? There were, yeah, I mean, there was a, the receiving manager position went away. And then I took that guy's job. And then that guy became a different manager. It was like, he just was... Had it in for you. Yeah, he was all over the place, like, calling me out for boxes and I go, I know where everything's at here. Don't worry about... I got my own system, Dale.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  You got the pens with the erasers, with the outlets. This place is a mess.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  And I was like, I yelled at the guy, and then they took me into the office and they said that to me, we could fire you for insubor... I go, I don't even know what that means.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Speak English, please, okay? I'm about to join the Navy.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  And then it got my... Speak American here, lady. My mom worked at the Office Depot, too.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Dude, that is such a dirtbag thing. When multiple generations of a family work at the same place, it's not a family business?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, and... She worked at the same store? Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 02

  Who got who the job?

• 26:05Speaker 03

  She worked there first. She got me the job.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Uh-huh. And it's tough to get your mom a job. That's a tough look if that was the other way. Okay.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  She's good people, man. A guy yelled...

• 26:14Speaker 02

  She was the one that was about to fire you?

• 26:16Speaker 03

  A guy yelled at my mom in there one day, a customer.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  And my mom was crying in the break room. So I went out and I yelled at that guy.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Nice, good for you.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  My manager was helping him put a chair in his trunk and I yelled at the guy.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  There's always another layer to this.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then I, and then the manager started yelling at me and I was like, oh, you wouldn't let anybody talk to your mom that way? And he was like, well, my mom's dead. And I was like, well, that's not the time to bring this up.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  It's just my deal, Dusty. Close this guy on an ergonomic chair.

• 26:46H. Foley?

  I gotta say though, your logic from what I'm hearing is not wrong. You also have to add in small town manners, small town behavior. In a small town, that is something that's acceptable. Sir, we don't yell at people's moms.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  My mom's dead. That's not my problem, Randy.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  That's not the crux of the issue. I'm sorry for your loss.

• 27:09H. Foley?

  I'm real sorry about that, man. I apologize.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  And then he fired me in the break room and then my mom-

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Did he have the authority to do that?

• 27:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was the manager. He was the store manager. And then my mom-

• 27:18H. Foley?

  And you worked there.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  My mom came back there, was trying to cool it down. I go, well, he just fired me and then my mom starts crying again. And then he hires me back.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Hey, Dusty, I apologize. I just heard about the mom coming.

• 27:32H. Foley?

  Gives you a 10% raise, two weeks vacation.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go ahead and reinstate it.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  And then the customer that I yelled at brought my mom flowers the next day.

• 27:40H. Foley?

  Whoa, see, that's small town.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm crying, dude. That's so funny. Oh, dude, a lot went down in that break room. Yeah, I mean, these guys, I mean.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  That's so funny, dude.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  I get fired up. I mean, when people- If people are rude to my mom, I get really fired up.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  You can.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  I yelled at a guy at a movie theater one time. I forget exactly.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  Starting to pick up your mom might be the problem.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  She could be, but uh-

• 28:09H. Foley?

  My mom was playing her music loud in the middle of the theater.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  But he, I don't know, it's like some usher guy or whatever.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Was real rude to my mom and I was like, what do you-

• 28:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Is there a reason for you to be rude to my mom?

• 28:23H. Foley?

  Man, you can't grill in here. I told you before.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  She's got dogs going.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  Shut the fuck up, they're almost done.

• 28:34H. Foley?

  No, I'm with you 100%. And that does create a bad situation. Especially in customer service.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  And it is, yeah, you're right though. It's like if, even if your mom's in the wrong, you're like, still don't yell at my mom.

• 28:47H. Foley?

  Don't fucking talk to her like that. I don't care what she did.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:50H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so funny. Okay, so the move to- Sorry to cut you off.

• 28:54H. Foley?

  No.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  The move to Charleston.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I moved, I just was ready to, you know, do something else.

• 29:00H. Foley?

  Did you, did you know anybody in Charleston?

• 29:02Speaker 03

  I moved with a friend, and we wanted to move to Savannah, Georgia.

• 29:06H. Foley?

  Right.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Because Savannah had come to our, Savannah.

• 29:09H. Foley?

  Ran out of gas money.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Savannah College of Art and Design had come to my high school, and I was like, this is cool. And it was really expensive, so I was never gonna go. But I thought it'd be cool to just be in Savannah.

• 29:22H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  This is my logic.

• 29:24H. Foley?

  I'm with you.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  And we went and visited, and my friend's dad lived in Charleston, which was two hours away. So we go, let's go visit his dad. And then his dad was like, told him he could get him a job at the hospital, so.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  That's good work if you can get it.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, and we were like, looking at the city, and there were these girls selling Italian ice, which were very attractive, and I was like, this is enough for me, I can.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Out of town girls.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  I got nothing going in Savannah.

• 29:47H. Foley?

  Was that the first time you saw Italian ice too?

• 29:49Speaker 03

  It was, yeah, I didn't, yeah, I didn't know what it was, but I was like, this is what I'm talking about.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  It's cool, it's refreshing.

• 29:56H. Foley?

  They got frozen Kool-Aid out here, you believe that shit?

• 30:01Speaker 02

  These Italians, Italians, what would they think of next?

• 30:07Speaker 02

  They're greasy and I don't trust them, but they're good, they know their way around a frozen tree.

• 30:11H. Foley?

  Italian ice, it's colorful. Tastes sweet.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Dusty.

• 30:18H. Foley?

  Couple of hot branches. Some water ice, salty on a, on a move.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  When you were supposed to move to Savannah.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  But I loved it, I was like, this is enough for me.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's great.

• 30:32H. Foley?

  I say this all the time, he'll get annoyed, I went there once, over Labor Day weekend, spent a long weekend in Charleston, love it.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  It's a great spot.

• 30:42H. Foley?

  Unfucking believable.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  What was the, what was the dwelling that you moved to? What was the living situation when you got there?

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Well, me and my buddy, we moved to, you know, just a regular apartment.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Charleston proper or outside?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Outside of town, called West Ashley, is what it was called.

• 30:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  And still a Charleston address, but it's called West Ashley. And we.

• 31:03H. Foley?

  He's big on the addresses.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  You don't have much going on, you're really defined by what's on your license.

• 31:09H. Foley?

  I'm a zip code man.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  It is true though. Like now I live in Nashville and it's in Davidson County and I moved to Hendersonville for a little while and I had a different county on my tag and I didn't like it. Okay. I was like, no, I want to be. Want to be back. Yeah. I got you. So I, you know, me and my buddy, he moved his girlfriend up right away. This was not part of the plan. Me and my buddy had a whole plan. And then immediately he moves his girlfriend up. We're supposed to get them Italian, bro. And they're hanging out and now I'm alone. I'm making no money. I moved from a town where I knew everybody to knowing nobody and I got no money and I'm just hanging. Chilling. And me and my buddy, we lasted together maybe two months. Wow. And then I moved out.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  To where? I, well, in the meantime, I took an improv class. Okay. In Charleston. In Charleston. I was like, I need to meet people. And you're working at? Office Depot in North Charleston. All of, everybody there's old and I can't, you know, and I'm trying to get them to come drink with me. I just need a friend. None of the old guys will drink with me. Sure. What's the car at this point getting you from A to B? I'm driving a 1999 Saturn. Not bad. Four door, dark blue, gray bumpers. What year are we talking? 99. What year? 2003. Oh, that's pretty good. Really good. It's a nice looking car. It's stick shift, no power steering. My man. Real hard to drive. Sure, okay.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  But yeah, I mean, but yeah, none of these people will hang with me. So I'm like, I need friends. So I took an improv class. At one time, a guy in the improv class stood up and said, hey, I'm, my roommate moved away. I need a roommate. So I was like, oh, I'll move in. And so I moved in with this guy and it was great. You like beers? Yeah. Yeah. And me and him did drink. Sure, I think you do. You know, we had a great time and, and then.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  And, um, he was, uh, you know, he was Jewish. And at the time- I ain't never seen- I had never met a Jewish person.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Italians and Jewish guys, you are- I had no idea. I'd never understood, like, I remember watching- What's your ass look like? I remember watching the movie School Ties, I think, with Brendan Fraser. Sure. Fraser, and they had, you know, and I remember them making a lot of, like, Jew jokes about him. I'm like, "I don't understand what's happening here." Yeah. And, uh, I, you know, but I moved in- Probably not the best first introduction to Judaism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Or, uh, the movie Mississippi Burning? Remember that movie? That movie was filmed, uh, all the downtown scenes were filmed in my dad's hometown. You met Gene Hackman?

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Oh, we mentioned that, yeah, you met somebody that did-

• 33:58Speaker 03

  R.I.P. Yeah. So, uh- The great Gene Hackman. But, yeah, I mean, that, it really played no role. But, uh, I just, it was significant to me. I'd never met a Jewish person, and now we're like roommates, and-

• 34:09Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  Culture, move, big city, you're moving up, you're, you know, learning.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's from Ohio, I don't think I knew anybody from Ohio, I mean- I did sleep with one eye open for the first month. It was all a big deal for me. And then I, you know, I started taking improv, and then I got a, a restaurant job. I eventually got a job working at Hyman Seafood.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  Doing what there, though?

• 34:28Speaker 03

  I was a food runner.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Big, big food scene in Charleston. Huge. I talk about it all the time. Huge. I took a resume in, uh, I pre, I made a resume, and I took them to all these restaurants in town. I got at one, one, one place, uh, I, I asked for a waiter job, and they, they said, "Well, we're hiring cooks." And I go, "All right, I'll take that." And they go, "Sounds like you wanna be a waiter, though."

• 34:54Speaker 03

  I go, "I don't know what we're doing here, though."

• 34:56Speaker 02

  Or else you're looking for head of accounting? All right, I'll do that. I smoke weed on the job.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  You change the jacket real quick.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  It's cool, my roommate's Jewish.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I could get help if I need help.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  He's great with numbers.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Okay. So I took the job as a food runner, uh, with a promise to be a waiter, eventually. And I got a haircut, I had long hair at the time, so I, I actually went, yeah, I got a haircut, and then I, but, uh, but it wasn't necessary, the guy that hired me had long hair.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  Coming with a crew cut.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Sir, yes, sir! But then I met drinking buddies.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  And this is, you know, I was working.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Something good about that.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Meeting drinking buddies.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  I was working downtown, I was doing improv, so I was now meeting people that I could go drink with.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  And this was really good for me. This was really fun. I remember drinking and driving like the first time, being like, oh, I shouldn't be doing this, you know? And then I made it home, so the next time was a little easier, and next time was a little easier.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  We don't condone that out there, of course.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  And, well, it's so weird, you talk to people now, and they're way against drinking and driving.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Oh, you'd be locked up for even saying that now. Much, you know.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  And I'm not saying it's good.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  No, it's just a different time.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  But they don't even understand that everyone was doing that.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  That's what was going on out here.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  I, I, yeah.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  I mean, there's a, there's a good chance that if you see construction workers in a van or a pickup truck, four o'clock, or, you know, four o'clock on a Friday, there's a sixer rolling around in there.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember working with a guy, and we left work, and he had a cooler, and popped up and some beers in the car, and I was like, there was another guy with us who was like, he got real nervous. And I was like, this is what I'm talking about. This guy's my boss here.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  My boss is giving me beers?

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, but, so, I, I really started to drink and get into it, and like, you know, I, I was like 21. When you're working in a restaurant. Jesus, we've made it two years. I know, it's nuts.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  In 40 minutes.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, well.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  That's a good thing, no, it's a good.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Well, I'm 21 now, and I'm like, I'm really getting into it, and then I'm starting to, I'm not fitting in so well in Charleston. I'm coming straight from a trailer park to, to this nice.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  A little more refined city, urban folk.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  I'm not really fitting in, and I got deep-seated insecurities that I feel like I've, you know, dealt with later in life. But at the time, you know, I'd be drinking, I'd be having a good time, and then I would think someone was judging me. And then I would like, get mad at them, I would get, and I would get mad at them, and I would start a fight. Maybe not a physical fight, but a verbal altercation, many times. I would get kicked out of bars, I got.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  What is it like, what are you looking at, or you're not better than me?

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd be like, oh, this guy's got a problem here, huh? And then my friends would be like, I don't think so, I think he's just. That's a Mike Ditka cutout, what are you talking about?

• 37:50Speaker 03

  And you know.

• 37:51H. Foley?

  He's got a problem. You're sitting there. This guy's got a problem, huh? He's looking in the mirror.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  And you know, and I'm a Christian, right? And I.

• 37:57H. Foley?

  But I will slap somebody.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  But I would get into religious debates with people in the bar sometimes when I was really drunk. And I remember a guy like, um, like getting in my face about something at a bar one time. We were talking and then I took my hand and I shoved his face back. And he goes, oh, that's real Christian like. And then so I did it again and then I got kicked out.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  So I nailed his hands to the wall.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. Uh, but so, I mean, that's the kind of thing that I would just, you know, keep doing for a long time.

• 38:27H. Foley?

  Yeah. In Charleston.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  In Charleston. And I lived on Folly Beach for a while. I moved down to Folly. I lived downtown at a place called Sergeant Jasper, which was a big building, uh, that I can now bike to Hyman's.

• 38:38H. Foley?

  Okay. Is this near the French Quarter? Cause that's all I really know.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:43H. Foley?

  No? Okay.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  No, more.

• 38:44H. Foley?

  I get it. You've been to Charleston. I like it there. I'm sorry. As he's talking now, I'm fantasizing about moving down there. You want to Slimans or whatever. It's great. It is great. Charleston's great. You ever go to Henry's?

• 38:56Speaker 03

  Henry's? Yeah, I've been to Henry's.

• 38:58H. Foley?

  Have you ever had she crab soup down there?

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah. Hyman's, we used to have she crab soup.

• 39:01H. Foley?

  See?

• 39:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  Told you it was real.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, it's a little made originally made from the egg roe of, of crabs. That's where it gets the she from. And then they put a little sherry in there.

• 39:13H. Foley?

  Yes, they do. It's all right.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:15H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's good.

• 39:17H. Foley?

  Gang, this show is sponsored by Liquid IV. Say it again, sister. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. Our whole lives are sponsored by Liquid IV.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 39:25H. Foley?

  Cause we're sucking it down, baby. We love it. Listen, if you work out, if you do that sort of thing. If that's your cup of tea. Sure. That's fantastic. But let's. Good for you. Yeah. Okay. You're out with the boys. You're hungover. You started going from beer to liquor. Listen, you're down. Then you made a phone call. Now it's four in the morning. You're stuffing down a piece of pizza. Do yourself a favor. When you get home, have a Liquid IV before you go to bed. It's gonna hydrate you. Hydrate you three times faster than water. And if you got the sickies, I know it's not really the sickie season, but sometimes around this time of year, that air can just start to really. Get to your sinuses. You don't feel well, I'm telling you about, listen, Liquid IV is just the absolute best. Better than everything else. So if you're looking for hydration solutions,

• 40:10H. Foley?

  go with Liquid IV. Delicious flavors, sugar-free options.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Save the last bits of summer with Liquid IV. You tear it, you pour it, you live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and get 20% off your first order with the code GARBAGE at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with the code GARBAGE at LiquidIV.com. Do it.

• 40:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  Hey Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In-flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at AA.com.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you know, so that's what I would, you know, I just would drink.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  I packed this lappen people.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  And then I, you know, I'd do happy hour. We'd get off work, you know, at four, we'd go to happy hour.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Have you been promoted to server yet?

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it took about nine months, which was, like, people would come and, you know, when you, when you get hired as a server, you have to run food for three days and you have to host for three days. So people would come in and I would go, "Oh, you a new food runner?" And they go, "No, I'm a server." And so I was just getting bypassed because I was a good food runner. It's hard to find good food runners.

• 41:28H. Foley?

  So they wanted to keep you?

• 41:29Speaker 03

  They don't want to promote you because they're like, "Well, yeah, sure."

• 41:33Speaker 02

  That is dirtbag mentality.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  We get plenty of servers, but we don't get a lot of good food runners.

• 41:38H. Foley?

  That's true.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  So I would, I kept getting bypassed. Eventually I made it in. And then, you know, you go to happy hour. I've wrecked, I've wrecked a bike in the daytime many times. Like with a Nokia phone, I'll be on the phone, wreck the bike, the phone goes into a million pieces. You put it back together, call it back.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  That faceplate, yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  These were indestructible. And then I moved to Folly Beach, uh, so then I would, you know, now drink and drive a lot to Folly Beach.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  It is like you get off work, you go drink, and then you get in your car and go home. And there's no one to drive you because they're all drunk too.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  Sure. There was no Uber, no Lyft. We did have a cab service, but you would, you just had a number and you would call them, and you don't know when they're coming.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Alright, and they're, they're, they're never like overly kind.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  No, they're so rude.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just like a dispatcher like, nah, I'll be 45 minutes, hon.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you're like, well. Now, I am screaming Bible verses at him over the phone. Yeah.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  I got, I did get beat up one time. Um, I should have been beat up, uh, regularly.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  But, uh. Yeah, me too. Cause I don't think I'm a fighter, you know? I'm just mouthy. I just really. Get a little lippy. Yeah, and especially when I'm drinking and I got.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Tiger Mike's 316 says.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  I, I did, uh, I did yoga for the first time one day. One morning I got up and I did yoga for the first time at a, like a Planet Fitness or something.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Down there?

• 43:08Speaker 03

  In Charleston.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  And then I, uh, went to work and worked my shift and then went to happy hour and I was supposed to go on a date with a girl. She stood me up. So we had some sake at a, uh, you know, sushi place.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Man, that's a tiny, small town. He's got Jewish guys, people from Ohio in sake.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Is that the first time you had sake? Probably so. It was Charleston was the first time I had had sake. My brother-in-law makes fun of me for saying that I didn't even know what Chinese food was when I was a kid. But, uh, the, uh, so I. Is that true?

• 43:37Speaker 02

  I'm trying to put that together though.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  He says, but I was a kid, you know?

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Do you remember the first time you had Chinese food? I don't remember. Huh. But I do remember that, you know, I really discovered seafood working at Hyman's. Right. Like, I had only had salmon patties.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  And tuna out of a can prior to, so when I saw my first tuna steak, I was like, you know, in my twenties, I was blown away.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  I was like, oh, this is, uh. This is a full fish here. Yeah, I think I was too about in my twenties, first time at a tuna steak. Yeah, late teens. Yeah. Yeah, and we would have salmon like crab cakes, but salmon. No, I gotcha. And then, I never really had seen a salmon fish.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Did you ever mess with salmon fish? I've never heard of it. It's just salmon.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  As opposed to a salmon mousse.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  Salmon burger.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Damn, this one's in the water?

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Did, how did, did you mess with imitation crab meat ever?

• 44:34Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  We weren't really doing crab stuff.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  It's not butt stuff.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  My, my mom- We were freaks. My mom said my grandfather's favorite food was the salmon patty. Okay. So we would have that.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  What a weird origin. The lore of that. Pappy loved them.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Would you get them frozen? No, I guess you'd get salmon out of a can and then she would kind of make the patty. Oh, whoa. Yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  That's worse than I thought.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  I thought you were at least getting-

• 45:07Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Gordon's frozen or something.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, you get hamburger, you diet red, pack it up.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  That's a land salmon we got there.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  No, no. My mom does a lot of things well, but she is not a cook. She is not a cook.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Starts some fights at office.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. She's not in trouble again.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  I'm in the break room, microwaving my salmon burgers.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Okay. So, um- Drinking sake, girl staying up. And then, and then we go, you know, we end up at kind of a fratty bar up King Street. It was as far as you could go on King Street back then. Now it's like well expanded. I mean, it's become a real hotspot. And we were dancing, dancing-

• 45:48Speaker 02

  She's really angling for the key to the city of Charles.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Is that by the French Quarter, Mike?

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Was that by my hotel?

• 45:57Speaker 03

  And, and- Fort Sumner, I know Fort Sumner too. Oh, yeah, yeah. You ever hang out there? Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Yeah, I did go out there once. I saw some dolphins when I was out there. You could see them from the- It's great. I went out there-

• 46:09Speaker 02

  That's bad eating.

• 46:10Speaker 03

  That was, that was so hot out there. Yeah, it's so hot. I would've gave up in two seconds if I was not out there. It's a wet heat, they say. Yeah.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Ah!

• 46:16Speaker 03

  Ah!

• 46:17Speaker 02

  There we go. The kid's a closer.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  There we go. So, and then we ended up at kind of this fratty bar. We were dancing with some girls that we didn't know. And guys got annoyed with us.

• 46:26Speaker 02

  Your life is girls you don't know.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  How were you, how were you dancing? You know, you know, the I didn't want to ask. Classic late 90s, early 2000s grinding up on people that you don't know.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Just bebop, kinda swaying.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a good dancer.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  And a guy confronted me, I yelled at him, a guy grabbed me from behind, people started kicking me. And on the ground.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Was it the Yakuza? Who leads with kicks?

• 46:56Speaker 03

  I don't know, I was getting beat up. But then I got out of the bar and I was mostly fine. I could have, I could have just gone home. But I saw two of the guys on the corner and I thought, well, I'll go confront them about this. And then they beat me up on the corner. You showed them, huh?

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Was it, do you remember the thought process of? Were you trying to try to get physical?

• 47:18Speaker 03

  You keep running your mouth and the two of you are gonna kick my ass. Yeah, no, I don't know what I was doing. I was just too drunk and I just, my pride was hurt and I was like, I'm gonna let them know. And they, and then, so both of my eyes were swollen shut. No blood though, they didn't break the skin.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Whoa, okay.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  That's a weird goalpost that.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  No broken bones, no messed up teeth.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Rough drive home.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  And then.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Did that one mostly by feel?

• 47:47Speaker 03

  And then my boss that I was with, I was also selling pesticides at the same time, I was, I had a job as a, working for a company selling pesticides. Why, you were waiting tables? Yeah, I was doing, it was a seasonal job.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Running, he was running.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  So I was, yeah, I was. Are you still running? I was doing seven days a week, I was doing four days selling pesticides, three days food running. Okay. And that's what I was doing.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  So you had cash, probably, you're doing well.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was hustling it. I was doing what I had to do. Did you, selling the pesticides, did you have to go into an office? Went into Lowe's and Home Depot and we were like sales reps for the company. And my boss was a

• 48:21Speaker 02

  He's a free sample.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  A guy.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Take a shot at that.

• 48:25Speaker 03

  A guy named Stu Barber who used to play NFL with the Buffalo Bills way back and he was like, he just passed, but he was like, late 60s when I worked with him. And. He, I remember him-

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Was he selling pesticides?

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was like semi-retired selling pesticides. I don't think they were making-

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, yeah, I'm just curious. You said, I wasn't sure if you were on the bills at some point.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  No, no, no. But I remember him making fun of me about it, about the black eyes. He goes, "I thought you Alabama guys could fight." And I was just like, "Well, I guess not." I mean, I don't know, I got beat up.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  But those two guys could fight better.

• 48:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, who knows where they were from? I don't know.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Could've been Ohio.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  But so, you know, and I was living on Folly Beach and I remember, uh, I used the driving thing. I was in this gas station. I drove home from downtown and I was at the gas station and I was just loud talking with the cashier the whole time. I thought I was the only guy in there. I'm just loud talking and go, all throughout the store, just small talk. But, and then, clearly drunk. And then I get to the register and there's a cop standing there and I go, "Whoa, okay." And then I kinda get it together. And then I go out and get in the car and the cop comes out and he goes, "Hey, you can't drive." And I go, "Yep, my keys aren't in the ignition," you know.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  Ah, dead giveaway.

• 49:39Speaker 03

  I used that line. They weren't, but I go, "You're right," uh, you know. And then, this guy was very nice. I lived a block away and he helped me push my car into a parking spot- Whoa, there you go. And then drove me to my house. Aw, that's nice.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  That's what I'm talking about. Yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  So that's southern hospitality right there.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  That's some early 2000s stuff, right there. I don't think that's happening anymore.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  No, I don't think so.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  And so- Hey, you can't drive. Yeah, so I said-

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Hey buddy, I was just inside. You are fucked up. I know, officer.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  But another time, this was, uh-

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  I was at Halloween. It was Halloween, I was dressed up and I was, you know, there was this girl that I-

• 50:19Speaker 02

  What were you dressed up as?

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Well, I don't like to say. As I say, I, you know, I'm a question- But I dressed up as kinda like a demon character. And I'm, I live in a lot of shame about it. I don't like that I did it.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  Why, that's okay. It's Halloween, it was Harry Potter.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  This sorcerer, I don't condone this sorcery.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  But I had, uh- I dressed up as my Jewish roommate.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Don't tell my mama. But, but we had, we, our red paint.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Barry, what?

• 50:50Speaker 03

  I had hair on my chest and everything.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Guys, it's me.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  But I had red paint. I painted myself up totally red, you know, and uh...

• 51:08Speaker 02

  That's a wild swing, man.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. And there was a girl that I, that I worked with, that I kinda had a crush on, but she had a boyfriend. And then she's dressed as like a...

• 51:16Speaker 02

  Wait till she sees me in red.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Well, she's dressed as like a schoolgirl, you know? We were always kinda flirty. I felt like she had a thing for me, but she had a boyfriend. And then she tells me at the party that she, they broke up.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  That's, that's prime time.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  So, me and her just start making out, and it is the best. No kidding. And she's, you know, wearing white, and she has red paint. We come out of this room, and like, she has a red paint all over her face, and... It was great. And then we decided, let's get out of here.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  But my roommate had drove.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  They say we get home and wash this off.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Your roommate had drove? Right, so we had to get... Is this still the Jewish guy from... No, no, new, new roommate. Total alcoholic roommate. He's my best drinking friend that I ever had. He would, if he could actually tell his story, he would do a great job on this podcast. Because he, you know, I don't wanna call him garbage, but he would, he's been through some stuff. Gotcha. And we just, I had not seen him in about 10 years, and we just hung out, uh, at a, when I was back in Charleston, and I was like, wow, you have really been through it.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Is he still boozing?

• 52:23Speaker 03

  Rehab, jail, he's still boozing. He, he likes to tell me, I'm not drinking as much, and he, you know, he had four bourbon and cokes while we were hanging out.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  That's not that much.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  Which, I'm not, I'm not mad at him, but when people are like, eh, I'm not really drinking that much, and you're like, throwing them back. He pulled up with a mug of his own drink, and then had, had a few, you know, it's like, nah, you're still doing it. Yeah. And it's okay. Of course. But you are still doing it.

• 52:50Speaker 03

  By definition. He told me that he got into making meth at some point. And in a trailer, like air conditioners, you'll have this big vent system. And I don't know how to describe it, but it's, it's big. He said, he thought the cops were coming to get him. So he took that off and got inside and hid in the vent system for a long time. Because the cops weren't coming.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  He was just fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, anyway, so, so this is my, that's my roommate at the time. And we're like the best drinking buddies.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  Also, to go back on his scale, he's not really doing it then.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  He's got more bourbon and cokes, he's not hiding in the HVAC system.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  He's not cooking no more.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  He's not doing it.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  He's not cooking no more, Dusty. That's true, that is true.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  He might as well be a priest.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  He's on, yeah, he's, you know, he's gone high and now he's coming back down. And, you know, this, but me and this guy, we couldn't embarrass each other. And that is what makes a good drinking buddy to me. It's like, I had friends, I had a buddy, he would always, he would always give me one of these. Like if I were getting out of control, he'd go, hey, you know, you know. And my, but my other buddy was like, amp it up, you know what I mean? He's like, we would get kicked out of a bar and laugh our way down to the next bar. It didn't, we didn't care.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  It was a beautiful thing. And he also could fight. So it was really nice to have him on my team. Because, you know, I wasn't worried about it.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Goddamn hell raiser.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  I'm like, this, I can say anything I want, this guy's got me. Or at least he's gonna make the person think that he's got me. Right. And it was beautiful. I loved it.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Talk about two dirtbags.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  They did.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  At the right time.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  End up beating up a guy really bad one time. And then our friendship kind of ended because they got scared and kind of moved out of town. But, uh, but.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  Johnny Cash.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  This is not me.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  Alright, so now you're, you're dressed as a demon character?

• 54:38Speaker 03

  We're like, we gotta get, I just want to give you a little backstory on this guy. So it's his car, but he let me drive.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  What kind of car?

• 54:45Speaker 03

  It's, um... Like a Chevy Corsica Cavalier, something like that. It's a two-door. It looked alright. He had a real raggedy car one time and it had a busted windshield and he got pulled over and the seatbelt law had just come into effect. And the cop comes up to his window. My buddy was real cocky and he goes, "Ah, seatbelt huh?" The cop's like, "Well, yeah, that and busted windshield and expired tag." Muffler hanging off. Sparks flying out.

• 55:14H. Foley?

  You're dragging a deer, man.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  And his car got towed and he had to call down to the tow company and they go, "What kind of car is it?" He goes, "Ah, little piece of shit." Yeah, we got it.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  And so this was his next car and we get in the car and we're leaving. And then we're pulling into this neighborhood and there's a bunch of guys out in the road. I turned down this road. The girl's in the passenger seat. I'm in the driver's seat.

• 55:41H. Foley?

  You're taking her where? Back to your place?

• 55:42Speaker 03

  Back to my place. And I'm so excited. And I'm driving and there's a bunch of guys in the road and these guys are like waving to tell me to stop. And I'm like, "Well, I don't know what they're up to, but I'm not stopping here. I don't know what this is all about." And it turns out I was going the wrong way down a one-way street. And I met a cop as I'm going down. Me and the cop went around each other on the one-way.

• 56:11H. Foley?

  So I yelled to him, "Buddy, you're going the wrong way. You fucking dumbass." "I got out of town trimming the car, dude. Trying to kill me?"

• 56:23Speaker 03

  "I'm the prince of darkness." And I'm, yeah, I'm payment red.

• 56:28H. Foley?

  Oh, that's right. You're dressed up like a demon.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  So I pull over. I take the next turn. He's got a schoolgirl covered in red paint. It looks like she's been murdered probably. I turn to the right. I make the immediate turn to the right and I go, "Let's get out." I turn the car off, take the keys out of the ignition. My buddy in the back, he goes- Oh, he's in the car? Yeah, he's like, "I'm staying." And he just laid down in the back. I got the keys. Me and the girl get out. We go walking back down the same street we just came down. We walk for a little bit and then I go, "Alright, it's probably good now." So we start walking back to the car and the cop is sitting right next to our car with his little car light on the car. And we just walk right by. Wow. And they never said anything to us. Nice.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  And yeah, she lived near there, so we went back to her house. And it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her, I think. Sure. And she rewarded me and it was the best. With some sweet lovin'. It was the best. Actually, we got her car and then my friend now doesn't have keys. And he gets out of the car at some point and starts walking and now we can't find it. Ended up being a real, we, we drive it. The cop didn't see him in the backseat? No. Not a good cop. No, no. He just drove by. He just kinda loved. Drove by the devil. Didn't pull him over, going the wrong way. Didn't pull him over. Then loses him, then sees the devil walking with a schoolgirl. Probably got spooked. It's the old key out of the ignition trick.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  It saved me two times in my life. And, and, and so we have to go find this, my friend. And he, he's on the interstate on-ramp. I'm driving. Walking? Walking. Where's he going? He's trying to merge. He's doing this. I'm coming in! What, is he walking back to your place? I, I don't know. And then I see him, so I make a U-turn, but we're on a one-way, so I make a U-turn into oncoming traffic. Uh, I pick him up and we drive. And then we get into a fight in the car. Logically. And then I drop him off. And then we go back to my house and it's like, I had no regrets about the whole thing. Wait, is the girl with you still? She's still with, we're in her car now.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Okay, so did you guys go inside, hang out, and then go back out and do this? We just went in her house and got her car and then we went to my place. Alright, so this is pre-coitus, as they would say. Oh yeah. I mean, it built up. Wow, really cops. Honestly, by the time, cause we had to go find my friend. And by the time we got back to my house, I really thought, well, she's probably over this by now. And I was really disappointed, but she wasn't. Did you wash all that shit off your face? I don't, not right away. I mean, we had, you know, we got to it. And then, uh, yeah, and then I did wash it. Actually, I put some kind of lotion on my face before I put the paint on my face, so it came off my face really good. That's pretty good. But my arms, it didn't. So I had to go to work the next day and I had like really red, red arms. I looked sick.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  Down at Fort Sumner, got sunburned.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  That she crab soup is bad. But I mean, that's what my whole twenties was, was basically just one drunken, uh, I black, I would blackout a lot. And I would, you know, I, I would go to happy hour. I'd go to brunch, drink mimosas. And then, you know, at noon, switch to bourbon and, you know, I'd go throw up outside and come back in.

• 59:49Speaker 02

  I've done that happy hour.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  You were really getting after it. Now, at this point, are you, are you, you're making okay money, you know what I mean? You go, you're hustling. Are you? Are you doing alright? Do you have money saved up?

• 59:59Speaker 02

  Are you saving or are you just drinking through this?

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  Sounds like he's drinking through it. I'm saving a little bit, but I am mainly drinking through it.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  You're drinking through it. I was like, it's a good time in your mid twenties.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like, you know, when you're living in Charleston, it's a, it's a tourist destination. It's a beautiful city. You go to these bars at happy hour and the windows are up and you feel the breeze from the sea coming in. You're eating shrimp and oysters and, you know, doing vodka shots and you're like, this is the life.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Don't get better than that.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Clean living. And then you get on your bike and wreck it.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  Bust your mouth.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  You drive out to Folly Beach. This is a thing about drinking and driving that I think people miss. And I don't condone it, but this is what I'm saying.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  I gotta be honest, it sounds like you do.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  When you got a good.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Take your keys out of the.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  You got a good buzz going on and you're driving and you're going across a marsh and the sun's setting. And you're smoking a cigarette. You're like, this is, you're listening to one of your favorite songs. You're like, this feels good.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Good song sick going.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, you could do that without the booze. Well, now I do do that now, but, uh, man, it is.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  When did you quit drinking? Uh, 2012. So at 29.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  You made it your whole twenties.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  My whole twenties, I drank like that. Even starting comedy. We would go do comedy and then just get wasted after.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  That was starting comedy. We started really, it was like, you're on stage for four minutes and you're drinking for five hours.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  That was comedy was like. It was just in the way of the drinking. You'd have a couple beers, then go onstage and then start doing shots.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, and sadly, I mean, so much of my life was an attempt to meet girls, right? So it's like comedy was now this thing where I'm like, oh, if I can get up here and be funny, now I get...

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  Something to talk about, hey, you were the guy.

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then you can have drinks and people buy you drinks. They go, oh, that was really funny, man. Let me buy you a drink. When you quit, did you quit on your own or did you? I did quit on my own. I had had a guy... You just stopped drinking? Yeah. Damn. I had a guy, uh, living in the same apartment complex as me. Now, this guy was from Boston, uh, and he was an alcoholic.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  And he, he, I don't know. This is what he said. Uh, my wife has pointed out that, cause he said he was taking some time away from his family to, you know, get sober and...

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  So he's there by himself?

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Yes, but it's like, my wife's like, well, don't move to a party city if you're like, I need to get sober. Sure. But this guy, big Neil Young fan. He had a, he had a boat called, uh, Crazy Horse because...

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  Wait, he moved to... He moved to get away from his family sober up and he gets a boat in a town he's temporarily staying in?

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  I think he, I don't know. Either he bought it or he brought it.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  But he had, so...

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  You can't get sober on a boat. If you've ever been on a boat, you're drinking, you're having a cocktail.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  Called the Crazy Horse. But he pulls up to the apartment complex on the first, on the first night.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Oh, no, that would have been cool.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  That's it. You know he's drunk, get to parties. But he shows up.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  That would have been awesome.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  I'm out on the porch. There's some girls that live in this apartment. I'm hanging out with them. It's, uh, one of these apartments where, the apartments, it's three-story, they're on either side, and then there's kind of a breezeway in between. Gotcha. So we're out on the breezeway on the balcony of sorts.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  You're a big breezeway guy.

• 1:03:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, uh, we're, yeah, cause I mean, you really feel that ocean breeze through that.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  I'm out on a breezeway. I'm having a seat.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  And I'm listening to Neil Young. Uh, we're jamming Cowgirl in the Sand down by the river and we're drinking. This guy shows up. Uh, who has an alcohol problem and loves Neil Young and there I am. And I greet this guy. I'm like, come party with us, you know? And, and he does and me and him end up partying a lot. Um, I don't remember why I brought him up, but, uh, oh, he gave me, uh, after hanging out with me for a little while. He gave me the big blue book, the Alcoholics Anonymous book.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  He goes, I think you might benefit from this.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  Sounds like buddy, I think you need it. You and the crazy horse, take a weekend and get some reading.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  How about I go to Office Depot, I make some copies of this. He did need it, I'll tell you that.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  Anybody that's just walking up, sees you standing in the breeze, where he's smoking a cig, listening to Neil Young goes, that's my new best friend. That guy's, that guy's got problems.

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was 50, I was 20, but this guy.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  How'd he get his boat from Boston to Charles?

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  I have no idea.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  None of this is that.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  We went out on the boat. I mean, this guy was great.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  You were on the crazy horse?

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was in a band. I mean, this guy. He was in a band down there? In a band, yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  What? He's too established down there with a boat and a band. I mean, what the fuck?

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  And yeah, I mean, he was great. He introduced me to John. You're already the comptroller of the city?

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, he came down ready to roll.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Been here two weeks to dry out? All right. Well, listen, I mean.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  There's a good chance this was all some type of delusion or something. There is a good chance.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  Got too dusty, stuck in the HVAC system?

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  There was a lot of fuzziness that went on. But I read the book. I did read the Alcoholics Anonymous book and it, uh, when I read it, I was like, oh, okay. I can see a lot of my stuff in there.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  In here, okay.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  I always felt like, you know, there was, and I don't think of myself as an alcoholic, but I only.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Thanks. I mean, to each their own, but I'd, I'd go get those glasses checked.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Go run that through the, the optometrist real quick. You and the crazy horse. I don't think I got that. Also, that guy going, you might benefit from this. What the hell's he got us for? All right, well, it's okay.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  But I read it and I go, okay, there's definitely a lot of, of me in this book. There's the binge drinking thing that I didn't think about, cause for me, I didn't really feel like I had withdrawals and I wasn't.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Control it and stuff.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the moment I had a drink, then I was like, I'm down to do this until I throw up or pass out. Sure. I'm into this.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  I would blackout a lot, where you know, you just hit a place where your body's still going, but now you're like, no longer in control. Yeah, just having a couple is weird. Yeah, that's what I think. People go, let's go for a couple beers and I'm like, why? You know? Take the weekend. Yeah, if you're having two drinks. Crazy horse parked out front.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Bill Young's in town.

• 1:06:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  No, I'm with you on that. And I love, I love partying with this guy and, uh, you know, I got, uh, he got, he let me, uh, open for his band one time. Well, I talked him into letting me open for his band and. Stand up. Stand up.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  Cover band or is he doing originals?

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  He was doing originals. Where, in Charleston? In Charleston. Who the fuck was this guy?

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  I don't know, but he was not from Boston and had a family.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Uh, well, he, you know, I don't know where he's from. He did bring his family down eventually, but I think they separated again. Gotcha.

• 1:06:58Speaker 02

  Sure, okay.

• 1:06:59Speaker 03

  But he, um. Didn't like the new stuff. Yeah, he let me open for his band and, uh, and then.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  This is dusty. He parties. He's gonna do a little time up top.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  But he wanted. The breeze. But it, it ended up being like two bands that I knew and they were gonna let me go in between.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  That's a tough spot. It was this band and then me, but my friend goes, he goes, since I got you this gig, he goes, I want, which, I could've got it from the other guy. But anyway, he goes, since I got you this gig, he goes, I want you to do this thing for me. I want you to go up and then go, hey, give it up for these guys. They were really good, huh? And then go, how about, how about one more, you know? How about, maybe we can get him to go encore, you know? He goes, get him to chant encore.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  So his band, he was going first?

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  For his band, yeah. So he went and then I go, I go, that was really great, huh? And I didn't want to do it, but I'm, and I was trying to get stage time. Of course. So I go, uh, encore, and nobody's, nobody in the audience.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  The opener, nobody wants an encore from the opener.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  Is joining in.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  But I turn around and I see my friend and he's headed back out. And then the guy over the PA goes, he goes, "Yeah, that's not really how this works." He goes, "We gotta set, we gotta break down everything and we gotta change it out." I go, "Okay." So then I go, "Well, I'll just do my comedy then." So I start telling jokes and he goes, "Yeah, that's not really how this works either." We gotta-

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  He's over the intercom?

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's like, "We gotta shut down all these mics." So my other friend had a, he goes, "You know what? Once they get it all switched out, I'll just let you do, you know, five or 10 minutes before me." So all of this, and then I bombed for five or 10 minutes.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  It's like a lot went into this for me to just bomb for that-

• 1:08:38Speaker 02

  Struggle.

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  But that was the point. I was told, they go, "You gotta bomb. You gotta learn how to handle it. So you need to get yourself in all situations."

• 1:08:46Speaker 02

  Good.

• 1:08:47Speaker 03

  So it was good for me?

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  But, you know, what a mess.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Sure. Well, I mean, in the saga of Dusty Slay, we've made it nine, we've made it 10 years.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Which is half of what we made in the first one. So we're, you know, unfortunately, we gotta wrap it up. But you're, we've made it to 29 and you're now so burned up. So next time you return, we'll start 30-

• 1:09:10H. Foley?

  Part 3.

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  Till now.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  Well, I appreciate you guys. You guys are so funny.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:09:14Speaker 03

  Just fun for me to do this because you guys make me laugh-

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  The whole time.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  Thank you. It's all, I mean, you're one of my favorite guests.

• 1:09:22H. Foley?

  I can't believe we only made it nine years.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Nine years. And also, we made a jump from like 25 to 29.

• 1:09:28H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  While I was drinking, we kinda breezed over.

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  Well, all the stories become the same, I feel like. But I like the one about the girl.

• 1:09:36H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  Because, you know, I, the ignition trick. I don't know if that's real.

• 1:09:43H. Foley?

  Stop it.

• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  I don't think you can, you probably can't do it anymore because everything's pushed to start.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:09:47H. Foley?

  Behind the wheel, you're behind the wheel. That's it.

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  No, but back in the day-

• 1:09:51H. Foley?

  Demon costume or not.

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  I would sleep in my car sometimes when I would get too drunk and I would go, "I bet I shouldn't drive home now."

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  I've done that, yeah.

• 1:10:00Speaker 03

  And then you go, you get, but I, yeah, you just kick the seat back, sleep for a bit, wake up, drive home. Not too bad, yeah.

• 1:10:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, sober up.

• 1:10:07Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:10:08H. Foley?

  Gang, the special, Wet Heat, out on Netflix right now. One of our favorites.

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  One of my favorites.

• 1:10:13H. Foley?

  One of the best, Dusty Slay. Do you have anything coming up you want the folks out there to know?

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Well, I'm just touring, and so dustyslay.com is my tour. I got, you know, I got, now I got Wet Heat on Netflix, I have Working Man, and I got an hour on YouTube. I have a podcast I do called The We're Having A Good Time Podcast. So, um, yeah, that's it. I appreciate you guys.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  Check 'em out, gang.

• 1:10:32H. Foley?

  Buddy, we love you. Kip, what do you got for 'em?

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  And a new hour, so if you watch Wet Heat and then come see me, it's all new jokes.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  65 minutes.

• 1:10:40H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there could be 30 seconds of old material here and there.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  You might hear me say, "Thanks for coming out, how's everybody doing?" But, yeah, how else am I supposed to get into jokes?

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  Give it up for the Waitstaff, huh?

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  Kip. Guys, our tour is starting in September. Get those tickets. We're starting with the West Coast, around Pacific Northwest, and the South, and everywhere, get your tickets. We love you, we'll see you out there.

• 1:11:06H. Foley?

  Dusty, we love you.

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, ma'am.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Thank you. You guys are the best.

• 1:11:09H. Foley?

  We love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.