Steph Tolev!

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Steph Tolev! We're talking dance mom's, calling out your high school bullies and crimes! You know Steph Tolev from stand up comedy, Steph Infection, Your Mom's House, Tiger Belly w/ Bobby Lee, Whiskey Ginger, So True with Caleb Hearon, Stavvy's World, Bein Ian. RIP w/ Jordan Jensen, Harland Highway, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Best of AYG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8bt-D-ZN4&list=PLCJp1IfokN9Cy1Hi79LSGAykCKfRDM_y9 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show name Are You Garbage? in the survey so they know we sent you! Pestie: For 10% off your order, go to https://pestie.com/ayg Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? #comedypodcasts #comedians #podcastshow #comedypodcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there. Back on the block, tour still on sale.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Gotcha, bozos.

• 0:05H. Foley?

  Gang, we're coming everywhere. Grab the squad and come out and see the boys talking about stand-up comedy. Then we play a little AYG with the crowd. It's a good time.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Oh, baby. This summer, we're gonna be Atlantic City, then second show added in San Francisco, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston. Tickets, low tickets, eh, low ticket alert. Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Canada. All tickets available at arugarbage.com. Let's get to the show.

• 0:34H. Foley?

  Start the show.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:55H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  They're just a big old piece of trash.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 1:08H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's and the new addition. She just picked up a brand-new motorcycle.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:17H. Foley?

  One of those three-wheel Jons.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 1:20H. Foley?

  You know what I'm talking about? Those three-wheel cars that they zip around in.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  The T-Rex thing?

• 1:24H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  What'd you call it, motorcycle?

• 1:26H. Foley?

  That's what it's called. It's called an motorcycle. She's out there bumping DMX, letting everybody know.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from right next to me, confused this week.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is somewhat of an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Hey, everybody. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, little bit of housekeeping. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, gang. Part of that creator program, no big deal. Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, get all that bonus content, guys.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  Yes, right, and gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time, very requested guest here on the podcast.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  You ain't lying.

• 2:15H. Foley?

  She is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, actor, and podcaster, and you might have seen her in But Not Limited 2, you got Corporate, you got The Ringers, you got The Movie Show, you got Old Dad's, Drugstore June, Hamster and Gretel, you got Crepopolis, still a voiceover work, nothing wrong with it, Friends Who Kill, After Midnight, Dr. Phil Live, the AVN Awards. Hosted, hello, she's gonna be in the new season of Tires, you can hear her every week on her amazing podcast, Steph Infection, and she's got a brand-new special coming out June 24th, over there on Netflix, Filth Queen, give it up for Steph Tolev, everybody. Let her hear it, look at her.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  My god, did you...

• 2:55H. Foley?

  Killing it.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Hansel and Gretel, I don't even know what that is.

• 2:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, you do, what are you talking about?

• 2:59Speaker 03

  I actually have no idea, my eyes like fell out of my head when you said that, I'm like, what the fuck is he reading?

• 3:04H. Foley?

  It's on the IMDB, I don't know what they tell you.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Oh shit, I gotta double-check what that...

• 3:08H. Foley?

  I remember in the very beginning when we were doing this, I did that for Brendan Sagalow, and he's like, I don't, none of those credits are mine, I like read the wrong thing or something.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  I read Regis Philbin's IMDB page, I apologize.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  Buddy, thanks for coming in.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Hey, I gotta tell you, I, this is the one podcast that people kept being like, "Why aren't you on it?", and I'd be like, "Fucking tell them!", every single time, like, so many people tag me in this.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  I guess they think I'm trash.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Apparently, yeah, I mean, I think a lot of this is just, you know, for clinical research at this point.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  I think we know the verdict.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  I think we all know the verdict.

• 3:43H. Foley?

  I think you might surprise us, we'll see.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  We'll see.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  She's got the middle of her nose pierced right now. I thought she had a bug going for the first couple of minutes.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Did you hear her saying it? Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  I was like, Jesus Christ.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  And you weren't gonna say anything? That's so fucking rude.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  I was gonna have Luke just make the camera a little fuzzy.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 3:59H. Foley?

  Well, there's a good AYG question, if someone, even like someone you're not that close with, alright, say like you and I bumped into each other at a show, and I had a bug, would you be like, yo, you gotta deal with that?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Good chances he's got a bug, you bump into him, you bump into him in the wild.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  Would you give somebody the heads up?

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I, I do one of these, I do that a lot, I do like a schnozzle.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Hopefully you can subconsciously make them do it.

• 4:18H. Foley?

  What if my breath was kicking, would you just tell me?

• 4:20Speaker 03

  No, breath, I will say something.

• 4:21H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  The amount of comedians, male comedians, sorry, unbelievable.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  I always tell people that.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  No one's flossing.

• 4:28H. Foley?

  I floss every day. But my breath, your breath can smell sometimes.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Coolest guy in the world. I floss every day.

• 4:33H. Foley?

  Sometimes at a show, if you have to lean in like, hey, you're going up and whatever. Hey, when's the light? Or something like that. And it kicks. You gotta be like, yo, you need to piece it out.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Do you ever go up after someone and the mic is like rancid?

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Ah, it's brutal.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  It's so, if you have no idea how bad like this, actually smells good. No smell.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  We, we take care of it. We clean them. Me and him, me and him have our own mics even on the road when we do road.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Oh, do you?

• 4:54Speaker 01

  It's like very much.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Well, I got a big honker too, so I'm smelling.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  You're in there.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  I got an extra scent. I can smell a mile away. It is hell.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Woo, it's tough. Give us the, uh, give us the origin story of Steph Tolev. Lay it on us. Start from the beginning.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Start from the beginning.

• 5:08H. Foley?

  Please.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  Grandparents arranged marriage from Bulgaria.

• 5:12H. Foley?

  Stop. Okay.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  That's, that's right.

• 5:14H. Foley?

  Your grandparents.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Were coming in hot. My dad's mother and father.

• 5:18H. Foley?

  Arranged marriage?

• 5:19Speaker 01

  In Bulgaria.

• 5:20H. Foley?

  Bulgaria?

• 5:21Speaker 03

  So my, my dodo came across to Canada.

• 5:23H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Had no idea what the fuck was going on.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Gets here, can't speak English, gives the wrong last name. My last name's supposed to be T O L E F F. But my dodo cannot speak English. She goes, mumbles it. Guy goes Tolev. This is a made up name. Three months later, my baba, 17 years old, gets a photo of my, my dodo. Not a good looking guy. Neither was she either. I don't want to be rude, but my grandparents are hideous people. So.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  I don't think anybody's grandparents were attractive.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Some, no, sometimes you see.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  They were very like utilitarian back in the day. They were like in the mines and shit. Nobody was good looking.

• 5:52H. Foley?

  Every once in a while, you come across one like, ah, he looks like a crooner or something like that.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, for the most part, yeah. I think the Eastern Europeans, hideous people.

• 5:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Very large creatures.

• 6:01H. Foley?

  They look like they need a little, some, uh, some vitamin C.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  They needed a little more than that. So my baba gets his photo, comes and meets my grandpa.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Has three children with him.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Not good.

• 6:10H. Foley?

  Was it like a proper arranged marriage?

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Yes, I think goats were traded. I'm not sure of the exact trades, but there was something.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  That's not an arranged marriage culture, is it?

• 6:18Speaker 03

  I think it is.

• 6:19H. Foley?

  Is that Eastern European?

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Maybe because they were both so ugly.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  They did it on a bet. Brought it back. Hey, here's 50 bucks. Marry my daughter, will you?

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Not even a hundred bucks.

• 6:29H. Foley?

  Alright, so your grandparents settle in Canada?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Yes, um, yes. So they, doesn't work out. Three kids, my father divorces him, which is unheard of. Because he's a psychopath.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Really?

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Jealous. He used to hide in the bushes and beat up, um, the mailman because he thought he was trying to fight. And I was like, buddy.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Kind of respect that, though. It's my property.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  Again, she ain't a looker, so, uh, buddy, don't you worry about that. The mailman is snuffing the neighbor.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  What the mailman look like?

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 6:55H. Foley?

  Must've been hideous.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Hideous.

• 6:56H. Foley?

  Okay, so your grandparents get divorced. This is your dad's side of the family.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  My mom's side's already been here for a while. They're like full Canadians.

• 7:03H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Where in Canada is this?

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Toronto.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  That's all in Toronto?

• 7:07Speaker 03

  All Toronto. My dad meets my mom in high school. Big dick hanging out of those, uh, running shorts. My dad was like the head of the track team.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Has he got a hog on him?

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Oh, he's got a hog.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  How do you know? How do you know your dad has a hog?

• 7:17Speaker 03

  I can show you.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's see it.

• 7:19H. Foley?

  Do you have a picture of your dad's wiener?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  These Canadians are weird. These Bulgarians party, dude.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  No, it's not his bare penis, but here.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  But you see a bulge?

• 7:27Speaker 03

  I see bulge, but I-

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Because my dad had a big sack, or he has a big sack, I would presume.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Uh, well, yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  He still does.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Maybe it gets smaller. Uh, I will say, I did see my dad's penis by accident. He had, um, he had prostate cancer. By accident, I was like, let me look at that. Peaky, peaky. No, he had prostate cancer and he, we were about to go walk the dog. I went home to help him. And he goes, "Oh, fuck!" And when someone says that, you look over to the, what's happening. He was putting a catheter back in his pee hole. And I had to look at it. Biggest dick I've seen in my entire life.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Really?

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Unbelievable. I, I, I was like, my poor mother. I'm talking like, like, soft, huge.

• 8:02H. Foley?

  The catheter was a garden hose?

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Catheter was a fire hose. He was just turning, he was like cranking it in.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  He's got a wrench going.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  I gotta find this fucking photo. Okay, so my dad, we've been taking like photos on like family trips for years. And I was like, can you send like a cute photo?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  At what age did you realize this? Did you suspect it?

• 8:19Speaker 03

  I didn't suspect it. He hid it for years. Like, and he pretty much raised me and my sister. I'll get into that, but like, I, I had no idea.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Wait, are your parents not together anymore?

• 8:26Speaker 03

  They are together. They shouldn't be, but they are together.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  You don't walk away from a hog like that.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  My mother, hey.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Those are hard to come by.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  She ain't walking straight, I'll tell you that. Uh, I can't find this fucking photo, but-

• 8:36H. Foley?

  It's okay. We'll take your word for it.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Anyways, it's, it's, I, I know I haven't. He's just like bricked up in these sweatpants he has. Anyways.

• 8:44H. Foley?

  So they meet in high school?

• 8:45Speaker 03

  They meet in high school. Dad's swinging his dick around. Mom's loving it. He's got a Corvette. Really reels her out. I know, my dad was cool. Big dick.

• 8:52H. Foley?

  How was he the daddy of the Corvette? Did his dad make cash?

• 8:56Speaker 03

  No. No, no, no. No, he did that. Walked into the dealership, showed him the bulge. They said, "Zero down, 0% financing."

• 9:05Speaker 03

  That's exactly it. You sign and drive them. His dick drove it out of the parking lot. It wasn't even him. So they, that's, they, they get married, whatever. They have me. My, both my parents dropped out of high school. What age do they, or? They meet in high school, so I think. Do they have kids young? Yeah, my mom had me at 23. Okay.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  But they dropped out of high school?

• 9:22Speaker 03

  They both dropped out of high school. My dad went into, they, they were like, offering this program called, it's like Toronto Hydro, it's like power and water in Canada. And they offered all these like young kids, "If you like drop out of high school now, come, we'll teach you how to show you all this electricity shit, whatever, for free." So he went and did that. Good pension. He's still doing well, pension wise, I guess. And my mom, this is where it gets weird. My mom dropped out to be a Highland dancing teacher.

• 9:44H. Foley?

  What's Highland?

• 9:45Speaker 03

  Exactly, yeah. It's Scottish. Yes, it's Scottish. Riverdance? Highland dancing. Yes, like Riverdance, but it's all turned out. It's kilts and bagpipes. It's like a huge. Is she Scottish? No, makes no sense. My grandma was weirdly obsessed with it. Bizarre. Google it if you don't know what Highland dancing is. Google it, look it up right now. So I competitively Highland danced from the age of three to 18 years old. Yikes. If anyone's ever seen my body, not a dancer's body. We ain't sitting over here with small feet. Toronto Hydro body. I got, no, I did. Nine and a half hockers, broad back, same tits as my dad. It makes no sense why I was Highland dancing. Till 18. Did you enjoy it? No, I was so bad.

• 10:25H. Foley?

  And she dropped out of school for this?

• 10:27Speaker 03

  So, and she's still doing it. My mom teaches Highland dancing, teaches judges and examines. So me and my sister, our whole life, that was our whole life. Every weekend we had a competition. Every single weeknight we had practice. I had no fucking life. I had no life. I had no friends. That sucks.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  That's crazy. Both of them dropped out of high school, they're still doing the same thing that they dropped out of high school for? That's pretty good.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  And doing well. That, that, that is. They have a cottage. They're doing, they're still doing, I mean, they're still working.

• 10:50H. Foley?

  Is their brother and sister's involved?

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Just my sister.

• 10:53H. Foley?

  Same, same mom and dad?

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, same mom and dad, three years younger than me. She's my best friend. She, uh, funnier than me, so fucking annoying. Um, you ever have a sibling that's funnier than you? No. It sucks. My siblings are idiots.

• 11:07H. Foley?

  My brother's pretty funny.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  He is not. That guy's got ice water running through his veins.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  I brought her just for last one year and she came back over with a stack of cards.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  She got new faces?

• 11:17Speaker 03

  No, she did. I swear to God. She had a bunch of agents and no one talked to me the whole fucking time.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  I was so pissed.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  It's Dave Becky guys.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  I told her we're gonna do lunch tomorrow. Huh. What were vacations like growing up?

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Just dancing. Just dancing. Everything revolves around dancing. Every fucking weekend we'd drive to like Michigan.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  I would never guess.

• 11:34H. Foley?

  So it was like, it was like that?

• 11:36Speaker 03

  I'd go to Scotland every year. That was my one big trip we did. Every year we'd go to the world championships.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Were you in the world championships?

• 11:41Speaker 03

  No, I was dog shit. All my mom's students were. My mom has one of the best dancing students on the planet. She's in the Guinness Book of Records for winning the most consecutive. And I'm shit. Like I was, it was so embarrassing. Picture your mother having like-

• 11:54H. Foley?

  It's crazy you're bragging about that.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. That's my big brag.

• 11:56H. Foley?

  Number one draft pick, island dancing.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Anyways, that was, so that was it. My whole life was dancing.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  So she has a school?

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's her own dancing school. Yes. And my dad would start to help out at the competitions. He would announce, he'd be like, alright, coming up next, the beginners, lineups.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Number one in my heart.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Number 99 on the goal sheet, number one in my heart.

• 12:16H. Foley?

  Wow. Okay.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  And that was it. That was in my whole fucking life.

• 12:20H. Foley?

  That would be like if, in America, if like your mom was like a cheerleading coach or like gymnastics.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, and the dance moms are fucking demented.

• 12:27H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  These people are weird. They would sit, like I had, this one, these one, they would definitely beat their kids. They had like bruises on the inside of their thighs. And every day they'd call my mom and quit and then they'd show up the next day. It was bizarre.

• 12:38H. Foley?

  Was there, uh, was this like, kinda like wrestling? Like where you had to like keep a certain weight and all that kinda stuff?

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Well, I was probably the biggest one out there. I was like you in how dancing. This is what I looked like. Everybody was like small and I'm like, that was exactly it. No, if you were smaller, you were definitely winning. But if you were like a Bulgarian.

• 12:58H. Foley?

  But it wasn't like, it wasn't a part of it? Like your diet wasn't regimented?

• 13:02Speaker 03

  No, no. But you're all, no one's fat dancing because you're jumping nonstop. It's fucking crazy, the amount of jumping you do.

• 13:07H. Foley?

  No other vacations? You're not going to Disney World? You're not going to Niagara Falls?

• 13:12Speaker 03

  We did Florida once for a dancing trip.

• 13:13H. Foley?

  Jeez.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  That's brutal, man. That is brutal.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  It's actually hell. And picture every night of your life practicing, when you're not good. Like every night I would take my sister right from school and we'd walk up to the dancing, my mom taught at this church.

• 13:27H. Foley?

  Was it a church?

• 13:28Speaker 03

  My mom went teaching a church, yeah.

• 13:29H. Foley?

  In the basement?

• 13:30Speaker 03

  No, upstairs actually.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Were you guys religious at all?

• 13:31H. Foley?

  What?

• 13:31Speaker 03

  My, yeah, both my grandparents were, but my parents aren't.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Your parents?

• 13:34H. Foley?

  Wait, not downstairs in like the gymnasium in the church or whatever?

• 13:37Speaker 03

  No, it was like upstairs. My mom runs out to something upstairs church room. We had to move all the fucking pews for it. It was a nightmare.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ, you're doing it in there?

• 13:43Speaker 03

  But I was, I was, I was baptized.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Tabernacle?

• 13:46H. Foley?

  Sac religious.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  No, it was hell, I know.

• 13:48H. Foley?

  Jumping off the altar? Wow, okay.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  I was baptized, I was baptized, um, Greek Orthodox.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, they got a, they dunk your naked body in a tub and then everyone jerks off and the fucking-

• 14:00Speaker 01

  At what age?

• 14:01H. Foley?

  You're not Greek.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Fourteen, I'm kidding.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  It was a hot tub at Club Med?

• 14:05H. Foley?

  You're not Greek.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  I'm part Greek. My grandmother was Greek and she was born in Greece, but-

• 14:08H. Foley?

  Your grandmother, your grandmother on your mom's side?

• 14:11Speaker 03

  No, my dad's side.

• 14:12H. Foley?

  Your dad's side?

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Dad's side, we're part Greek, part Bulgarian.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, this doesn't make any disarrange marriages not adding up.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  She was like part Greek, part, half Bulgarian, but she was like raised in-

• 14:21Speaker 01

  International arms smuggler. Uh, okay.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  There's that, okay.

• 14:26H. Foley?

  Your great grandparents got her at half price? Cause she's half Greek?

• 14:30Speaker 01

  I didn't get it.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  There it is, okay. I laughed cause I panicked.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  You'll get used to it halfway, halfway through the show, you go, ah, I think you missed there, big guy. Who, it might have even, I'm asking you because it might have been in the dancing world, who was like the most famous person you met as a kid? Was it like, holy shit, there's the world champ? Like, it didn't have to be like a superstar, but like somebody even local celebrity?

• 14:51Speaker 03

  Kurt Browning. He was a, uh, he's a famous Canadian ice skater. We saw him at the airport once. And that was a big deal for our family. Kurt Browning, he was like, he was like, uh, killing, receding, bad receding hairline, but like, still young? Check him out. Oh yeah, people love Kurt Browning. Look at him, there he goes, whipping around.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  I feel like I just saw him on the news like three days ago.

• 15:11H. Foley?

  Now, there's another guy that, that's an American ice skater that looks just like him.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  I was like, if you tell me Kurt Browning is a bad man, I'm gonna get very upset with you.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, in a good way.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Okay, cause I was like, please, we've worshipped this man.

• 15:21H. Foley?

  I know who you're thinking of. I can't think of the guy's name.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  No, I think it, five, five days ago, oh, rock stars on ice, Kurt Browning and Elvis De Jaco share preview of the whole tour. I told you.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  Wow!

• 15:31Speaker 01

  I've been watching a lot of Good Morning America.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  This guy loves Kurt Browning. I had no idea.

• 15:36H. Foley?

  That's pretty good, especially in the airport. I respect that. I like that.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  That was, that was the big one. Other than that, we saw nothing.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  Olympics? Was he in the Olympics, this guy?

• 15:45Speaker 03

  He might have been, yeah, he might have been.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  I mean, he's a rock star on ice. He's no fucking schlub.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  We didn't watch a lot of anything growing up. We-

• 15:51H. Foley?

  Did you have cable?

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, but we were dancing. I had to go to bed at like 8pm. We'd eat like a pile of spaghetti and go to bed at fucking 8pm on Fridays.

• 15:58H. Foley?

  What was the house like growing up? Was it like a standalone, single-family home? Was it a townhouse apartment?

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it was a single-family home, like three bedrooms. My, they redid it. Uh, my uncle was an architect. He like made some weird-

• 16:09H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Fucking shit going on there. Um-

• 16:11H. Foley?

  And what was the family car growing up?

• 16:13Speaker 03

  Oh, we had a Dodge Caravan for a while.

• 16:15H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. What color was that caravan?

• 16:17Speaker 03

  Green, with that gray trim on the bottom.

• 16:19H. Foley?

  I know very well- Would your mom pick up other kids?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:22H. Foley?

  And drive them around, like the other students and other dance peo- wow.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Young, attractive. I was, I think this is why I'm so self-conscious of my body now. When I look around, I was this big-nosed, unibrow, mustache pig and all these like little dancers like hopping around. And I was like, "Ooh, why is no one looking at me?"

• 16:40H. Foley?

  I get the vibe. I get the vibe of what you're, what, what it was like.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  What I'm putting out, yeah, yeah. Hell, definitely the outside.

• 16:46H. Foley?

  He feels that way now? No, I just meant of like when, like the, her mom would go and pick up the other students and stuff like, like she was a part of, she was a dance mom.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  She was a teacher, so everyone was scared of her.

• 16:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, and you were the kid. Wow.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was dog shit.

• 17:03H. Foley?

  Kippy, Rocket Money, Rocket Money, Rocket Money, baby! Gang Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel subscriptions that you don't want. It monitors your spending, it helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You know what I'm saying? You lower the bills, you grow the savings. I'm gonna tell you that again. Lower the bills, grow the savings.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  And how do you, how do you do that?

• 17:26H. Foley?

  You do it with Rocket Money, dumbass. What are you talking about?

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Just checking.

• 17:29H. Foley?

  You got a bunch of subscriptions you don't know about. You're getting banged out, two, three hundred bucks a month. You can take care of that. That's two, three hundred bucks sitting on your hip. Rocket Money get you all straightened out, dumbass.

• 17:39Speaker 03

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• 17:59Speaker 01

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• 18:31H. Foley?

  Yeah. Kippy, this is Pesti.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Woo, take it from the bug man.

• 18:35H. Foley?

  Take it from the bug man. Do yourself a favor, get that Pesti, you don't want those harsh chemicals, especially if you've got babies, you've got kids, you've got animals running around. Do yourself a favor and get on Pesti. Kippy's using it.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Listen, they were fantastic, they sent us some, my wife was, oh.

• 18:51H. Foley?

  Loves it.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  This is the one that you bring home to the wife, the wife, "Oh, I'm doing it for the kids, for the dog, for the..."

• 18:56H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  And it's something easy you can do, it's very easy to do, it was one of the, I gotta be honest.

• 19:02H. Foley?

  Took you like an hour and a half to do the whole house?

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Not, minutes.

• 19:04H. Foley?

  10 minutes?

• 19:05Speaker 01

  A minute, I gotta, it was a thing I put off and put all this, I'll get it, and then you go, that's one of the things you can do and say it takes a little longer, keep them off your back a little bit.

• 19:14H. Foley?

  Crack up on a Miller High Life.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh, it's do it yourself pest control, other pest control companies charge over $800 per year, but with Pesti you can get started at just $35.

• 19:21H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  It's easy peasy, it sends everything, very clear instructions, you mix it up, bada bing bada, this says it right here, and you complete in less than 10 minutes. You walk around a house, you spray, you feel like a man, you're taking care, you're protecting your family.

• 19:36H. Foley?

  That's a sprayer.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:38H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Feel good, walk around, you spray everywhere, zip zap zap, I think it's like an hour, it just takes it to dry, and then you're off, you're off to the races, baby.

• 19:45H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  Now's the time to protect your home from bugs with Pesti, go to pestie.com/AYG for an extra 10% off your order, that's pesti, P-E-S-T-I-E.com/AYG for an extra 10% off. Do it. Uh, how were the grades?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Not great. I was, yeah, in high school I got arrested.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  For?

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Uh, for assault. Oh.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  Beating up a judge?

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Uh, I had a jealousy problem with my first boyfriend, Marlon, shout out, because I know he watches my stuff. What age are we talking about? Grade 10 or 11. So how old am I? 15, 16? Yeah, 15, 16, yes. So I, he, this girl kept checking him out and it was annoying me and I got mad, so... At school? At school, and I got pissed, so I made a comment to her in the math hallway during our lunch, and then she, um... What was that comment? I said, you know, "Keep your fucking eyes to yourself, bitch," something along those lines. Respect it? And then her friend... Set of instructions? Her friend shoved me, who I've never seen in my entire life, and I was like, "Who the fuck is this bitch?" Fuck this bitch. So I shoved her back, but then my friend, I can't say her name because she gets pissed off when I tell the story, but she comes in and just throws this girl to the ground and just pounce her in the math hallway, like pounce, and I was like, "Oh, shit."

• 20:52Speaker 03

  So we run out, a teacher comes off, pulls us apart. Also, my friend... Did you get involved in the punching? No, I just, I did the initial sho- I started, I did the initial shot. Gotcha. So we, we leave that, uh, that, get kicked out of the school, we were outside at the pizza shop, and I'm like, "Are we gonna be in shit?" And my friend's like, "We're probably gonna get suspended." I love how you get in a fistfight, you're like, "Let's go grab a slice." No, we had a full slice. I went back to fifth period.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  We were here all day, what are you talking about? Hey, Mario, if anyone asks, I've been here since opening.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  I went back to fifth period and I remember I asked my teacher, "Mr. Black," I go, "Are there cameras in the school?" And he goes, "Why?" That's a, you don't...

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, what are you doing? Don't start doing that, you don't go in... Hey, what's the security system like here? Has anyone been asking about me?

• 21:30Speaker 03

  There was cameras, so I was like, "I won't get in trouble because they'll see that I didn't do the first push." So I was like, "Oh, I'm in, I'm in Scott Free here." And then we come to school the next day, the both of us, nothing happens all day long, end of the day, this like teacher...

• 21:40Speaker 01

  That's the worst.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  Student guy comes up, he goes, "You're in a lot of trouble, there's a girl in the hospital." I'm like, "What?"

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Girl in the hospital?

• 21:45Speaker 03

  And then we go, take her down to the office, and I'm sitting there, and this, uh, uh, out of clothing police officer starts going through my backpack, she's like, "You have the right to remain silent." I'm like, "Who the fuck are you, bitch?"

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  She's like, "You have the right to remain," and I'm like, and I look over and my friend is literally leafing through a People magazine, I'm bawling my eyes out. We get, we were also, we wore school uniforms. What took you so long? So I'm wearing a little kilt. A little school kilt and I'm getting handcuffed in the school office.

• 22:07H. Foley?

  Is this Catholic school?

• 22:08Speaker 03

  No, we just had a bad gang problem. Scottish dancing school.

• 22:10H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on. You had a bad gang problem at your school?

• 22:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, East York Collegiate in Toronto. There's a lot of gangs were coming in. Say, East York Collegiate? Yeah. E Y, look at me, psycho. I'm a s- You have your school tattooed on you?

• 22:22H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  East York?

• 22:23H. Foley?

  Rash. What was the gang?

• 22:25Speaker 03

  See, that's why I'm on the podcast.

• 22:26H. Foley?

  What was the gang?

• 22:28Speaker 03

  There was a European, I think they call it European Alliance, EA. They were insane. Sounds like a government. They bring chains to school. It was just people trying to find my grandparents.

• 22:37H. Foley?

  You had the Russian mob in your high school?

• 22:39Speaker 03

  What do you got on?

• 22:40H. Foley?

  Reddit's just calling it a juvenile prison.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  Really? Are you serious? Check out, check out the Wikipedia. Oh shit. Let's find out if you're in the notable alum. I am. Oh, I am. You are. Oh, and a couple of hockey players are as well. Get eyes on that, Luke. Oh yeah, I'm on there. Let's see what kinda, what kinda, what kinda competition she's in.

• 22:57H. Foley?

  Probably in the most wanted section.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  I kept being taken off it. Somebody kept taking me off of notable alumni. My friend kept putting me back on.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  Probably the chick you knocked out.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, she hates me.

• 23:05H. Foley?

  So you got a proper arrested?

• 23:06Speaker 03

  Arrested, fingerprinted, handcuffed. They locked me and my friend in two separate like cells.

• 23:11H. Foley?

  Really?

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Not like the dorm cells, but this all white room with a good white little table.

• 23:14H. Foley?

  Wow, you must have been freaking out.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  My dad's gonna beat the fucking pulp up me.

• 23:16H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Cause you know, Bulgarians like to stop around a little bit.

• 23:19H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  So I'm like, I'm gonna be killed.

• 23:20H. Foley?

  Old world type.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Oh, big time. My friend's singing in the room. Mariah Carey top of her lungs. I'm like, this bitch is fucking laughing. What's she doing now? She seems like a bit of a psycho bear. No, she married, actually, another comedian friend of mine. I introduced her to them. They have two kids, two beautiful kids.

• 23:33H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  I know, they're doing great. She really came around. Okay. I, on the other hand. Anyways, yeah, we got, but in Canada, you, we went to court like, I think 13, we got expelled initially. But my parents both went to this high school and my grandparents. So they're like, you're getting back into school and keeping the name alive. So my dad went and like begged the teachers to like let me back in, the principal, and they did.

• 23:53H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  And then I came back and then I was in the student government.

• 23:55H. Foley?

  Can I ask you a sidebar question?

• 23:57Speaker 03

  On the honor roll, so suck my dick, East York Collegiate.

• 23:59H. Foley?

  What, for junior and senior year? Makes sense, notable alumni.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 24:03H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 24:04H. Foley?

  I want to ask a sidebar question in the Canadian courts. Do they wear the wigs?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  I was thinking the same thing. No, no wigs.

• 24:10H. Foley?

  They don't?

• 24:10Speaker 03

  No.

• 24:11H. Foley?

  I was curious.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  But also, if you've ever been arrested at that age, you just get thrown in a room with everybody else who's had like a charge. And you're sitting there with some drunk guy at the back and he's yelling and they're like, they just call your name up and you walk up and they're like, "Okay, we'll make another court date." They just keep pushing it back. It's such a waste of fucking time and money.

• 24:27H. Foley?

  Assault charge.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  What was the mascot there at East York?

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Well, it was me and it was the bulldog and I kept honking some butts.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  They got her on a leash at the fucking, at the football games.

• 24:40H. Foley?

  The other team's trying to steal her?

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Well, I would go into the classrooms and everyone thought it was a guy and I would grab all the guy's asses and they got so pissed off. It stunk in there. You want to talk about the smell? Holy Toledo. That thing's never washed.

• 24:53H. Foley?

  The tattoo was wild. Give you a high school tattoo on your face.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  It's just a cute little EY.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Did you do that in high school?

• 24:58Speaker 03

  I did that, I did that one year ago.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  One year ago?

• 25:02H. Foley?

  What? Did you go to college?

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Oh wait, I also, hold on. No, no, I can show you this. I also got handcuffs tattooed on me, my friend and I.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  We got little handcuffs.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  That friend that got arrested?

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  It's not like you guys served a nickel or anything.

• 25:20H. Foley?

  You have a teardrop on your eye?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  No, on my tit.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  She's getting hers removed because her mom saw it and her mom hates me because she thinks I'm a bad influence. And like she literally, her mom saw the tattoo recently and she's now getting it removed.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Really? What age did you get that?

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Last year, same time I got the EY.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 25:35Speaker 03

  We both got the EY.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  I am trash and we're realizing it now.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  No, I kinda knew. Wow.

• 25:46H. Foley?

  Did you, uh, let's go back. Did you bring your lunch to school or did your mom, or did you buy it at school?

• 25:51Speaker 03

  No, I'd buy it or we used to go to this place called Harvey's and just ask for free pickles.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  You were allowed to leave?

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 25:57H. Foley?

  Interesting.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  In middle school, yeah. Or I'd go home. I live really close to my eight, seven, eight, uh, six, seven, eight school. I live down the street. So I'd just go home sometimes and eat like a whole can of ravioli and then head back. Oh yeah. Not good. I had a lot of ravioli growing up.

• 26:10H. Foley?

  Was Chef Boyardee?

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Oh, of course. What, are you crazy? I found a maggot in it one time and I remember I just pushed it aside and I continued eating. What almost made me throw up.

• 26:19H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Seriously.

• 26:20H. Foley?

  What's going on with the quality control up in Canada?

• 26:23Speaker 03

  No, my mom never like, didn't really cook us shit. Like she'd like get like frozen- She wasn't a good cook? No, like frozen chicken and put it in the oven. And then I had to do that once my mom would teach and I would have to come home from high school. And if my dad walked in the door and the chicken wasn't ready, there'd be a full fucking fight.

• 26:36H. Foley?

  So you had to have dinner ready when your dad came home?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, and then as soon as I was in like- Like a good Bulgarian girl. And he said, but in like halfway through high school, I went full punk and I had like a dog collar and I was like, "I'll listen to the man." And then my dad and I really didn't get along after that. Sure.

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Turns out, but I look like now I'm like-

• 26:53H. Foley?

  How were you doing that in dancing? With the full punk outfit?

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Oh, it was crazy. I got, I got braids one time. I got those like, like they're not good anymore, like the multi-

• 27:01H. Foley?

  The braids like that you get when you go down to Jamaica for spring break?

• 27:05Speaker 03

  No, like the full, like I had full, like woven in braids, like what black women get. Strands? Pretty much, but braids. And then I had to dance with that. I looked ridiculous.

• 27:13H. Foley?

  Yikes.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  I, I don't have those photos because I did scrub those off the internet.

• 27:18H. Foley?

  Did you go to college?

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, here's where it gets even worse. Um, I went to clown college. There's a two-year program at- Actual league. Humber College called the Comedy Writing and Performance Program. Humber? Humber College, look it up. It's a two- See if she's on the notable alumni list. You know what? I am, and it's so fucking funny because they fucking hated me. I lived in a, in a house with eight guys. Wow, you seem like a delight to be around. I actually am a nice person. No, I, I lived with eight guys and we'd just be stoned all the time. And they hated us because we didn't write anything on it. And there's only like eight women in the whole program. Anyways, the end, the end of the year, they cut me out of all the sketch shows and I had to do stand-up. That's why I started doing stand-up. I initially wanted to do like ske- just sketch comedy.

• 27:55H. Foley?

  Why did you, so that's what you were studying? You weren't studying kind of be a clown?

• 27:59Speaker 03

  No, there was a clown class though. It actually was a very good class. But I didn't get into-

• 28:03H. Foley?

  Did you take a clown name?

• 28:04Speaker 03

  No, I thought we would wear the nose and it was so stupid. We didn't, I didn't get in, I tried to be an actress. I, I auditioned for like four actual programs. Performing arts type?

• 28:13H. Foley?

  Performing arts school.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Yes, but yeah, yeah, but this program is kind of a joke.

• 28:17H. Foley?

  Yeah. Gotcha.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, like no one, I don't tell people, I don't tell people I have a degree in comedy. It's embarrassing.

• 28:22H. Foley?

  Did you go, did you finish the two years there?

• 28:24Speaker 03

  I did finish the two years, yeah.

• 28:25H. Foley?

  Okay, and then you started doing stand-up?

• 28:27Speaker 03

  I, well, I started improv right after that.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  So I was in an improv troupe called The Dumb Cunts with a K. We thought it was cute. No one put us on the flyers. Yeah, very marketable.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Disney. And then we changed it to Lady Stash and then during that time I would just do like, I actually have a mustache tattoo, that was my first tattoo. We would start doing, I started doing stand-up in there because I realized improv pays no money. The guys are creepier in improv, I will tell you. Women complained about male stand-ups. I'm like, you've never seen the lower back touching a male improviser will do for no reason in a scene? It's part of my character, just fingering your ass. Yes, Ed, you have to go along with this.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  What about pets growing up? Any pets?

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yes, golden retrievers. Big golden retrievers.

• 29:09H. Foley?

  Very nice, alright.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  That's good, the most normal thing I've heard so far.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  I have a golden retriever now as well.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  What's the name?

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Susan.

• 29:15H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  You ready for something even crazier?

• 29:18Speaker 01

  I have it tattooed on my ainsel.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  I do, I have a tattoo of Susan.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Oh, you do? I respect that.

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Tattoo for everything.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  How many tattoos do you think you have?

• 29:25Speaker 03

  I have about seventeen.

• 29:26H. Foley?

  Seventeen.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they're all, they're so stupid. They're all worse than the other one.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  What was the first concert you went to growing up?

• 29:33Speaker 03

  Oh, it was called, um, Snow Jam.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  Ouch.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  That's so, that's so Canadian.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  It was called Snow Jam and I think, uh, Treble Charger, I believe was headlining and I, I body surfed. It was like rock. I body surfed and a guy grabbed my ass and my tit and I freaked out. Snow Jam, Toronto, yeah, there it is.

• 29:51H. Foley?

  This would be like a local radio station's festival.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  That's probably it. That's it, that's the one. That's it.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  Let's see, let's.

• 29:57H. Foley?

  Wow, 2002.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  It should be Treble Charger, who else? I think.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Dropkick Murphys?

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  That's not bad.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  I didn't see them. Danko Jones, remember seeing Danko Jones?

• 30:04Speaker 01

  So you probably went on Saturday.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yes. Swol Members, yes, that's where I was there.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Swol Members, Show Corps, Mocha, I've never heard of any of these features.

• 30:12H. Foley?

  Filter, like the band, like Filter Filter? That's pretty good.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  It's not bad. Yeah, that's, that's it.

• 30:18H. Foley?

  What was the last concert you went to?

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Uh, what the fuck did I see? I think it was, um.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Snow Jam 08.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  I don't remember, I haven't been to one in a while. I think Death From Above though, it's my favorite band.

• 30:28H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Toronto.

• 30:29H. Foley?

  So you're into the more alternative scene?

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:31H. Foley?

  Musically?

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Yes, but I listened to a lot of like, um, EDM.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 30:35H. Foley?

  EDM.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Like, Odeza, Flume.

• 30:37H. Foley?

  Okay, that's not how.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Actually, Flume, my, my last concert, I saw at Red Rocks. That was, that, it was very good.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  I know Flume.

• 30:43H. Foley?

  Man.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  I also, I love MDMA, so.

• 30:46H. Foley?

  I was not expecting all this. I'll tell you that. Might run out of ink on the pen.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 30:52H. Foley?

  What was the first job growing up?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Uh, I babysat when I was really young. My parents forced me to this kid in the street, but then I worked at a waiting pool, which is like a kiddie pool.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  So it's like the ones that you fill up just a little bit.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  And you worked there?

• 31:04Speaker 03

  I worked there. There's like, you have a little, a guard, and I worked in this very bad area. It was right in Main and Damford, Toronto.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, was it?

• 31:11H. Foley?

  Was there another pool connected to it?

• 31:13Speaker 03

  It's like, you know, it's like a playground, and there's like that small, like, uh, like cement pool with that little thing in the middle.

• 31:18H. Foley?

  I know.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Those things. That's it. That's all the pool was.

• 31:21H. Foley?

  They have a lifeguard for that?

• 31:22Speaker 03

  You can drown in three feet of water.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  I'm aware of that.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  That's what I learned.

• 31:27H. Foley?

  I don't think I've ever seen something like that.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  Were you a strong swimmer?

• 31:29Speaker 03

  I was, but you didn't have to swim for this. You just had to learn like CPR. But this area I worked in, they were, it was fucked, it was like, all government housing, so these, the parents would assume that we were babysitters. So they would drop off their children, who were horrendous, all day long. They'd hit me, they'd fucking chase me, they'd lock me in the pit, they'd throw the keys down the well. They were bad. The one time, there was a dead pigeon and it had no head, and they shoved a stick in it, and then chased me around with the end of it all day.

• 31:55H. Foley?

  How old were you?

• 31:56Speaker 03

  I was 16.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  That's good clean fun.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  Hey, it's good clean Canadian fun.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  Yeah. Alright. What was your first car?

• 32:04Speaker 03

  Uh, Ford Escape. My parents gave me their old Ford Escape that I drove across the country from, uh, Toronto to LA, and then I got there and the transition died and I had to buy a brand new car. So I didn't, now-

• 32:14Speaker 01

  What's the current car?

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Subaru. 2013 Subaru Outback. Look at this.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  2013?

• 32:19Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, she's fucking-

• 32:21Speaker 01

  What year is it? It's 2025?

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Do you, have you been in Los Angeles?

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  I'm never gonna fucking get a nice car in the city. Everyone's driving like an ape. I'm not fucking buying a, there's so many scratches that are not from me on it. I'm not doing it.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  I don't know. I was, I wasn't, I was just taking the best.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  I'm so mad.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  The fuck.

• 32:39H. Foley?

  Fucking right, huh, Jim?

• 32:40Speaker 01

  Her friend comes in and spears me.

• 32:44H. Foley?

  So, after, um, after the performing arts school, you do an improv, and then you kinda get out and head to LA early?

• 32:52Speaker 03

  No. Oh god, no. No, no. I was in Canada for like fifteen years. I came out to LA ten years ago.

• 32:56H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Because to become a successful comedian in America, you have to have a green card. And in order to get a green card, you have to get a bunch of fucking credits. You have to fill out six out of the ten, like, whatever it is, things, like commercials.

• 33:11H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Like, trophies, like, big acclamation.

• 33:14H. Foley?

  So you did all that?

• 33:15Speaker 03

  I did a lot of it, to make sure.

• 33:16H. Foley?

  You did that route up in Toronto and then moved to LA?

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Yes. And then, but the process of coming here still held my, my, you have to do an STD test.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  STD?

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Yep, you have to test for syphilis. And mine came back, like, something was wrong with it.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  You can just say positive, huh?

• 33:31Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't, it wasn't positive, it was inconclusive.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  It wasn't negative?

• 33:37Speaker 03

  Hey, I've had HPV, I haven't had syphilis, I'll be honest about it. So I had to, like, go back in, so they had to hold back my fucking green card for another like three, four months. I kept having these going away parties in Toronto, like, fuck you, Canada, I'm done.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Never mind, I got crabs.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  Never mind, my pussy's itchy, I can't go to America yet. So I had to keep, like, coming back.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  They do STD checks?

• 33:56Speaker 03

  They do, and not, not even AIDS, which I found alarming, just STD. Isn't that crazy? I thought, I, I assumed AIDS. I can come here, fill to the brim with HIV, no one cares.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Fill to the brim?

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Just the tippity top of AIDS and nobody in America cares. But if I have a little burning in my pee pee hole, not allowed across the border. So I went to LA ten years ago. So I did, like, improv and stuff. I, I waitressed for my whole time I was in Toronto.

• 34:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Yes. Lot of waitressing jobs, lot of...

• 34:24H. Foley?

  Were there any family recipes that your mom did make?

• 34:26Speaker 03

  No, nothing.

• 34:27H. Foley?

  Nothing?

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Frozen chicken in the fucking oven.

• 34:29H. Foley?

  What were the holidays like? What was, did you do Christmas?

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, we did Christmas, that was a nightmare.

• 34:34H. Foley?

  Colored lights on the tree, white lights on the tree?

• 34:35Speaker 03

  White lights, my mom doesn't like colored lights. It irritates her.

• 34:38H. Foley?

  Okay, that's good, that's good.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  My parents are very irritable.

• 34:41H. Foley?

  You do the house, decorate the outside of the house?

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Decorate a little bit, yeah. My dad, when we were very young, was very cute, would do little, uh, reindeer marks and sleigh marks.

• 34:47H. Foley?

  See, that's alright.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Even though he's a raging psychopath, he would do like little nice things like that.

• 34:51H. Foley?

  Um...

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Hmm, indeed. Have you ever washed shoes in a washing machine?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do all the time. Really? At home? Not with anything else?

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you wash them.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Take the laces off? What are you talking about? Put them outside the dryer?

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Dude, she responded so confidently that I'm backpedaling.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  I've never had any, and people go, "Yeah, oh, that is weird." She's like, "Yeah, you fucking pussy."

• 35:15Speaker 03

  I always do, my, my All-Stars.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  That's not great.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  It's not?

• 35:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  In the washing machine, not the dishwasher.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  Washing machine by themselves.

• 35:24H. Foley?

  That's not that crazy. Especially those type of sneakers.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  I'm also saying it's not that great.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  An all, a white All-Star high top?

• 35:31H. Foley?

  The broad's a criminal. Give her the goddamn benefit of the doubt, will ya?

• 35:34Speaker 01

  I'm not on fucking trial here, nor is the system, by the way, that has been, that has been, you know, tried and true for 500 episodes.

• 35:43H. Foley?

  Were you allowed to eat in your room as a kid?

• 35:45Speaker 03

  No.

• 35:46H. Foley?

  Did you have to make your bed?

• 35:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:48H. Foley?

  You did?

• 35:48Speaker 03

  I got, I was, I, I got in trouble a lot. I used to slam my door a lot, and my dad got very mad. And one time, my sister slammed my door, and then my dad came up and took it off the hinges.

• 35:57H. Foley?

  Wow, okay.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  And took it into the basement, and then every time somebody called, they'd go, "Hi, my dad's a pervert and likes to watch me change." So the door was put back on within a couple of days.

• 36:05H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  What, uh, what kind of posters did you have on the wall?

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Okay, now we're getting into it. I was...

• 36:12H. Foley?

  Nothing good.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Obsessed with Blink-182.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Okay, alright.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  In a way that's not normal. My, every, there wasn't a piece of wall in my bedroom.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Were you a Mark, Tom, or Travis guy?

• 36:21Speaker 03

  Oh, Tom, my god. I used to look at this photo of him and masturbate in my, my, my high school room. I had this little wiggly pen.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  What's a wiggly pen?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  It's like, it vibrates. It's like, it's like a vibrator for kids.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  It's a pen?

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I would just...

• 36:33Speaker 01

  Like a, like a, like a writing pen?

• 36:35Speaker 03

  So when you write it, it goes doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, and it would like, do like little swirls. But I one time put it on the little clitty, clitty bang-bang, and I'll tell you what...

• 36:42H. Foley?

  Was the door on the hinges at this time?

• 36:43Speaker 03

  Oh, it was on the hinges.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  She was probably at the kitchen table.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  "Hey dad, make your own chicken."

• 36:50H. Foley?

  You wanna put that door on now, don't ya? The lights are blinking.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Yes, Blink-182, obsessed, fucking obsessed.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  How many times have you seen them live?

• 36:57Speaker 03

  I've seen them live only three times.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:59H. Foley?

  That's a real psycho, I like it.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  But Death from Above, the band I love the most, I've seen about 20 times now.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 37:49H. Foley?

  Wow. Did you go to prom?

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Yes. This is where it gets sad. So, I was supposed to dress up like Jim Carrey in...

• 37:59Speaker 01

  At prom?

• 38:00Speaker 03

  From Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber, we rented the suits.

• 38:03H. Foley?

  With who?

• 38:04Speaker 03

  My good friend Justin, who I was like best friends with in high school.

• 38:07H. Foley?

  How come you didn't go with like a significant other? What about the boyfriend that you beat the girl up for?

• 38:10Speaker 03

  Look at this fucking nose. You think high school accepted this? I was fucking Toucan Sam from grade nine to fucking 12.

• 38:15H. Foley?

  But you said you were dating the guy that you beat up?

• 38:18Speaker 03

  Oh, for three months and he jizzed in his pants. I thought he peed, I don't know what was going on.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  That's still my go-to move. Ask my wife.

• 38:25H. Foley?

  Hey, you had us on your side up until then.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  No, okay, so I was supposed to dress up and we rented the outfits. We rented the tuxes, the orange and the blue.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Whose idea was this?

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Mine, of course.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  And you're like, hey, what was his name, Justin?

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Justin.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Hey, Justin, was Justin...

• 38:37Speaker 03

  He was into it.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Was he romantically involved with anybody? Why did he not go with the...

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Well, here's the thing.

• 38:43H. Foley?

  And is anybody else doing...

• 38:44Speaker 03

  He did, he bailed on me like, like literally less than 24 hours before. He went with somebody else, he got a suit.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  And like with a gal?

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Yes. So, I had nothing, so I had to borrow this like weird...

• 38:52Speaker 01

  She's got both suits on.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Pink dress from my friend and I wore pink all-star high tops because I was a psychopath.

• 38:58H. Foley?

  Who'd you go with?

• 38:59Speaker 03

  With my friends. For the reason, all of my friends, we all went with nobody.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  But then here's the thing, so I thought I was gonna win prom queen.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  Why would you think that?

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Because I was popular.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  I was funny, I was in all the plays, I was like, I was on the announcement crew, I was in the student government, I was actually fun.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  I gotta say, those people typically, in my... The people on the announcement crew? You announced, you did the announcement crew, student government, and were in the Peter Department.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  I was also MVP of the lacrosse team.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  And I was in cross-country.

• 39:29H. Foley?

  Oh, so you did do other sports?

• 39:30Speaker 03

  I did other sports, yeah, I was very sporty. I was like, yes, I was...

• 39:32Speaker 01

  Sporty spice.

• 39:33H. Foley?

  Captain of the lacrosse team.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  MVP.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  MVP of the lacrosse team.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  My lacrosse teacher, Mr. Zach, who I had a huge crush on.

• 39:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Gave me the award.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  So, I think, I think I'm gonna win. It's called Missy Stork. Missy Stork. This girl, Virginia Shoeless. Whore! I'll never forget it. She was such a fucking loser. You know you were, Virginia. She was such a fucking loser. No one liked her. She was like a goody-goody two shoes. She counted the ballots. She wins.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  You'd think it was an inside job.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  She gets booed. Everyone is booing her. Nobody... She comes over off the podium, hands me the crown and goes, "I think this should have been yours." No fucking kidding, bitch! Who's got a short tattooed on their finger? I was so pissed off. So you're the people's champ? I'm the people's champ. Did you go up there and make a speech or anything? No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. But like, even my... even Mr. Zaff came over. She got off. Thought you were gonna win that. She got off and handed you the crown. Cause she got booed that fucking badly. Nobody would have voted for her. Everybody hated her. Man, this high school sounds awful.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  I don't know what's going on.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Awful.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  Sounds like something out of fucking Saved by the Bell.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Also, look how crazy... also, okay, I can even get even worse here. I was bullied so badly. So bad. Is everybody on meds in this high school? They might be. I was bullied so bad in grade nine that they took my yearbook. And they wrote, "Big nose." There's a bunch of Greek guys. There's like 10 Greek guys that fucking hated me. Cause I was like, "Oh, going in funny." They're dirtbags anyway. Greek guys? Well, funniest thing, I... one of these... one of the guys who's friends with the bullies comes to one of my comedy shows recently. Sits in the front row. I go, "Let me call my high school bully." Oh, why do I feel like I saw this online? I think I saw this. It just went viral, maybe? Uh, it didn't go viral because the guy's name was said and his brother fucking threatened to sue me. So I had to fucking take the clip down and take his name. I didn't even say his name. The bully who I called goes, "Oh, is this so-and-so whose phone I was calling from?" Not saying the names, and we sued again.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  And then the clip was going so fucking viral. It was like 30K in like 20 minutes. I was like, "Oh, this is a clip." And then I had to take it down. I was so pissed. I'm like, I would have gone back to court in Canada. They would have been like, "Oh, this bitch again." Should have done it. Should have made that a clip. Put my dog collar back on. "Remember me? Remember me from high school?" Alright, so they took your yearbook? Took my yearbook. They wrote, "Ugly."

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Or a detective trying to get to the bottom of the case.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  They wrote, "Ugly, big nose everywhere." And I had this crush on this guy Kevin, and they scratched out his face saying, "He'll never like you or so ugly." And then one of my best friends in high school cut out Kevin's yearbook. And put it in mine. It was very sweet. Anyways, these guys are losers. Most of them apologized to me. He... so that phone call, I made him... I mean, I forced him to apologize. He probably didn't really want to, but... This is why I'm like this now, because I was heavily bullied. Also bullied by men is so bizarre for a woman.

• 42:04H. Foley?

  It's wild.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Isn't it crazy?

• 42:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Usually like, girls bully girls, guys bully guys.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I never, um, yeah.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  I don't know why, I don't know what my nose does to men, but they hate it. I have a clip right now going viral on Facebook, because 500 men are like, "Is that a prosthetic? How does she even get it that big? You think I want this? You think I walk around going, like, I'm trying to make it look like this? It's so crazy.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Adrian Brody, let's see your fucking DMs. Are they, you big-nosed, up-dancing, devito penguin badge? Let's see his. Adrian Brody, if you're listening to this.

• 42:37H. Foley?

  Pulling Brody into it.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  His is bigger than mine, damn it.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 42:44H. Foley?

  Steph.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Do they get stunned like this?

• 42:48H. Foley?

  Good lord.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, last one was Jordan Jensen, so you're in good company.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, now I'm feeling... Yeah, her, she's worse than me, isn't she?

• 42:55Speaker 01

  Uh, so, have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? Uh, no. Um, I mean, alright, so high school was bumpy.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  High school, high school was bumpy.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  I was touching good.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  High school is bumpy, then college...

• 43:10Speaker 01

  College, you know, and then you're, now you're, you know, now you're a successful comedian.

• 43:14H. Foley?

  Let's just say, to put a button on it, somewhat of a tumultuous upbringing.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Yes, a lot.

• 43:21H. Foley?

  Can we leave it there, tumultuous?

• 43:22Speaker 01

  I think your hair's getting more quaffed as the episode goes on. What the fuck?

• 43:26H. Foley?

  In a good way or a bad way?

• 43:27Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  No, good, it's giving some height.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Henry the hair.

• 43:31H. Foley?

  It's coming, it's growing back in. Alright, so let's just say that.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 43:35H. Foley?

  Let's talk about now a little bit.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:37H. Foley?

  Which is unfortunate that we know about the Subaru. Where are you living out now in LA? You got an apartment, you got a house?

• 43:44Speaker 03

  I have, I have an apartment.

• 43:45H. Foley?

  You're renting?

• 43:45Speaker 03

  I'm renting, it's an $1,800 rent, two-bedroom.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Laundry and unit, parking spot, front yard for my dog.

• 43:54H. Foley?

  Nice joint.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  What neighborhood is this in?

• 43:55Speaker 03

  It's not a great neighborhood.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  At Phoenix, Arizona?

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Ask fucking Ian Faidance, he keeps fucking saying I live in fucking hell. It's in East Hollywood.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  That's a bad neighborhood if he says that.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  I know.

• 44:04H. Foley?

  But does he ask to stay with you all the time?

• 44:05Speaker 03

  No, but he did my podcast, he's like, "What the fuck is this? There's chickens everywhere." I'm like, "Yeah, there's chickens up the street, let them live."

• 44:10H. Foley?

  It's okay.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Okay, so you live in a...

• 44:12Speaker 03

  I've been there for 10 years, I found this place, I'm never leaving. It's so insane, it's so cheap, it's so clean, it's so good. Yes.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:18H. Foley?

  Alright, so you got a nice place.

• 44:19Speaker 03

  Got a nice place.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  You live by yourself?

• 44:21Speaker 03

  No, I have a lovely boyfriend.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  A lovely boyfriend.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Who I just pissed off really badly today, who's so mad at me, but I love him so much.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Sorry, big guy.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  He's very upset.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  Now, this was your place before.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 44:29H. Foley?

  He moved in with you?

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 44:31H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  And now-

• 44:32H. Foley?

  Why did that happen?

• 44:33Speaker 03

  Where was he living? So, he was living in New York. So, this is, this is a crazy story.

• 44:37H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  So, he's, I'll make it quick. He- He moved from New York to East LA? Well, he's an actor. Okay. Actor, comedian, musician. So, I'm at The Laugh Factory one night. Bomb, everyone's bombing their tits off. It's Wednesday night, no one there, wild, 14 people, hell. I'm pissed off. Shooter McGavin walks in.

• 44:55H. Foley?

  Shooter McGavin?

• 44:56Speaker 03

  From Happy Gilmore. You're dating Shooter McGavin?

• 45:00Speaker 03

  Can you imagine? And that's the end. Goodnight, everybody.

• 45:02H. Foley?

  Chris McDonald?

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Chris McDonald walks in with, with my boyfriend, who looks exactly like him. And I go, "Oh, it's his son. Why the fuck are they here on a Wednesday night?" Hammered. And I'm like, "Fuck." Yeah, Shooter gets after it. Oh, Shooter-

• 45:14H. Foley?

  Wait, they're hammered?

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Oh, they're blackout. So, I go up, I'm, I'm trying so hard. I'm, I'm obsessed with Happy Gilmore, it's my favorite movie. I'm like, I have to, I'm embarrassed now. I get bombed for Shooter McGavin. I ask this question to who, who takes dick pics, and nobody answers me, but I think Shooter's son. He goes, "I do. I put a little tiny Etch A Sketch on the tip of my dick." And I'm like, "What?" So, I'm like, kinda laughing, it's such a bizarre thing for someone to say. I get offstage, I'm like, "Fuck it, I'm saying hi to Shooter." I never fangirl over anybody. I go over, I'm like, "Hello, hi, a huge fan." And then I'm like, "Oh, is this your son?" And he's like, "Oh, I'm his nephew." And I'm like, "Oh, okay." Gives me a big hug, and I'm like, I'm starstruck. He's like, "So, you're gonna come drink with us?" And I was like, "What? No, I'm going home to bed." And I left in like a panic, because no man ever hits on me after show. I'm like, "My fucking pussy's dragging on the ground." I'm like, disgusted. So, by the time I get home,

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Jefferson, Shooter McGavin's nephew, who is now my boyfriend, DM me being like, "Hey, can I get your phone number?" And we've talked every day since. And let me show you him. He looks exactly like Shooter McGavin. It's fucking crazy. I'm dating Shooter McGavin's, look at him. Look at this guy. Those look like Shooter McGavin. It looks exactly like him. I'm, I'm, I'm obsessed with this man. What the fuck is even going on?

• 46:20H. Foley?

  Who's having, getting hammered with their uncle?

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Oh, he- I've done that, I mean, when he talks- Shout out to Uncle Mike and Uncle Pat. Are you, are you seeing this? This looks exactly like Shooter McGavin. It's fucking crazy.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's weird.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  I know. And it's weird how excited you are about it. I love it. Also, you're like, "Happy Gilmore's my favorite movie," so it's like the third lead?

• 46:36H. Foley?

  So, he's living in New York-

• 46:37Speaker 03

  You're obsessed with the third lead's nephew? I think Shooter's hot. I don't think- No, I'm not cheating on him by any-

• 46:42H. Foley?

  Of Chris McDonald, of course.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 46:43H. Foley?

  So, he's living in New York, and then decides, "Hey, I wanna move LA." You say, "Hey, just move in with me."

• 46:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. And he does.

• 46:50H. Foley?

  Now, you guys splitting the rent?

• 46:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:52H. Foley?

  Okay, alright. Cause we have a thing about that. If, if couples move in together, is it she moved into his place? Did he move into her place?

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Did he bring any furniture?

• 47:01H. Foley?

  Or did they get a place together?

• 47:02Speaker 03

  No, no furniture. We split the rent, but I pay all the bills.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Why?

• 47:06Speaker 03

  Well, cause he's, he's on the road so much. I think I'm there more. He's like, he's, he does cruise ships and stuff and he tours a lot, so I'm like, sometimes he's not even there for like a month. So I'm like, I'm gonna pay for the fucking internet when he's not even fucking there.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  How long have you guys, how long has he been living there?

• 47:17Speaker 03

  A year and a half. We, we met, uh, almost a year and a half ago, exactly. April of last.

• 47:22H. Foley?

  How quick did you guys move in together?

• 47:24Speaker 03

  Quick. We, we, you know why? We started, like, just talking so much. Well, I'm disgusting. Well, I'm a fucking horny pervert. Also, I've never dated a Hawkeye. I'm like, get the fuck in my house asshole. You're not going anywhere. I'm talking to the radiator. Like, I'm like, he's, I'm, I've only dated blobs.

• 47:38H. Foley?

  She sounds cool to me.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  I'm a great girlfriend. And now he comes with me on the road, Pavy Features.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  And he hosts.

• 47:47H. Foley?

  Alright, there you go.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, there we go.

• 47:49H. Foley?

  There you go. Uh, when you guys-

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Some sort of normalcy is involved. Finally, we're getting to something, although you are dating Shooter McGavin's nephew, which is like, it's absurd at the, you know, at that.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  It's not that normal, but.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  When you guys are home together, you guys will have dinner together at the house?

• 48:04Speaker 03

  Yes, I'll cook.

• 48:05H. Foley?

  You cook?

• 48:05Speaker 03

  I'm not bad.

• 48:06H. Foley?

  You cook a lot?

• 48:06Speaker 03

  I cook a lot when I'm home, yes.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  You do?

• 48:08Speaker 01

  It's a go-to meal.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Well, we're always on a diet, so I'll cook like zoodles in a fucking like meat sauce.

• 48:13H. Foley?

  Zoodles zucchini noodles?

• 48:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:14H. Foley?

  Okay, you make them yourself?

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:16H. Foley?

  With the, the thing?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  The spiralizer?

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Spiralizer.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  You have the one that you, do you put in and crank, or do you have like this small one?

• 48:22Speaker 03

  No, the small one that you just turn the top on, yeah, yeah.

• 48:24H. Foley?

  Okay. When you guys eat, are you sitting at the table and eating, or are you sitting at the couch?

• 48:28Speaker 03

  Sitting at the table.

• 48:28H. Foley?

  Talking.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Well, if we get like takeout, we'll sit at the couch and watch like Netflix something.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Will you plate the takeout, or do you eat it out of the carton?

• 48:35Speaker 03

  I'll plate it.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  You'll plate it?

• 48:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:37H. Foley?

  So you'll bring the bag in, go to the kitchen, plate it up?

• 48:39Speaker 03

  Depends on what we get. But if we get like, yes, I'm just sharing stuff, I'm plating. I like a knife and fork.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  What's in the fridge currently right now?

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Absolutely nothing.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Nothing.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  Maybe, maybe some oven butter and some pickles. Yeah, lot of pickles.

• 48:50H. Foley?

  What's going, you mentioned pickles before. What's up with the pickles?

• 48:52Speaker 03

  I don't know, I love pickles.

• 48:53H. Foley?

  You do?

• 48:53Speaker 03

  I've been eating them non-stop since I was a kid.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  How do you feel about bread and butter pickles?

• 48:57Speaker 03

  I like them all.

• 48:57H. Foley?

  Really?

• 48:58Speaker 03

  Not as, not as good. I like a crisp kosher.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Dill.

• 49:01H. Foley?

  Gentleman, thick. Give me that.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Pickles, that's going down?

• 49:04Speaker 01

  That's a point in your direction. How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken?

• 49:07Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm slapping that back.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  Love a Costco rotis.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Rotogang.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  Nine ninety-nine? You kidding me?

• 49:14H. Foley?

  Let's, uh, let's step into the bedroom for a second. What's the bed? Is it king? Is it a queen?

• 49:18Speaker 03

  It's a, it's a queen and we need a king.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Okay, it's a queen.

• 49:20Speaker 03

  It's a nice, it's got a big green, like, back thing, like a fuzzy back thing.

• 49:25H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  Um, is it in the middle of the room?

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Middle of the room.

• 49:28H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 49:29H. Foley?

  Is there, and, is there nightstands on either side?

• 49:32Speaker 03

  On his side. I have like a bench on my side.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  That's okay.

• 49:35H. Foley?

  What bench? What do you mean?

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Good, the room is, we set up. Yeah, yeah, it's a, it's a nice wooden, like, long bench thing.

• 49:41H. Foley?

  Does it go the length of the bed?

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Um, like, half.

• 49:44H. Foley?

  So how do you get out?

• 49:45Speaker 03

  I can get out. There's lots of room.

• 49:46H. Foley?

  Just get out the bottom?

• 49:47Speaker 03

  No, no, I get out the sides though. It's not that big.

• 49:48H. Foley?

  What's on the bench?

• 49:49Speaker 03

  Couple candles, some books.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  It's running along the wall or along the bed?

• 49:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's running along the wall, under a big bookshelf. Every single book is, the books are all his.

• 49:57H. Foley?

  Do you read at all?

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Absolutely not. Look at me. Do I look like I read? I don't think I can.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  I don't know. I guess I gotta be honest with you. I don't fucking know.

• 50:04H. Foley?

  Uh, is there a ceiling fan in there?

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Yes, there is. On all the time.

• 50:07H. Foley?

  On all the time?

• 50:08Speaker 03

  We're both very warm.

• 50:09H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Very hot people.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  You got window units or central air?

• 50:13Speaker 03

  This is where it's a problem. I don't, I'm on the main floor, so I can't have a window unit, 'cause I'm scared someone's gonna...

• 50:18H. Foley?

  Makes sense.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Come in there and do a little rapey, rapey.

• 50:19H. Foley?

  It's a first-floor apartment?

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. And it's not a great area, so I don't, I keep the windows locked at all times. So I have one unit I move around. I, we, I've been looking for another one.

• 50:27H. Foley?

  Well, hold on. Wait.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  I have like...

• 50:29H. Foley?

  Like an indoor air conditioner?

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Yes, like the big one that you put in the window, like you put the window down just a little bit, but I don't like to keep that o- on all the time.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  So you take it out at night or so?

• 50:39Speaker 03

  No, at night, when I'm there, it's on. When I'm there, it's on.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  So when you leave, you take it out?

• 50:42Speaker 03

  If I'm gone for a weekend or something, but I have a dog sitter there, so it's there, yeah. But I don't trust keeping my windows open, ever. This area, there was a shooting across the street, literally, yesterday.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  The chickens?

• 50:50H. Foley?

  Wait, so...

• 50:51Speaker 01

  If you ta, if you leave for the weekend, you take your air condi, and there's not gonna be a dog sitter?

• 50:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  You take your air conditioner out, put it on the floor, close the window, lock the window?

• 50:58Speaker 03

  No, no, it's not, it's just a small thing. It's just like the tube.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Ah, gotcha.

• 51:02H. Foley?

  You know what she's talking, it looks like a robot.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, it does.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  So do you have to bring that from room to room as you move around in the house?

• 51:07Speaker 03

  I'm psychotic. Yes, I do. It's demented.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  That's what they do. That's like what people who cook meth do.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  It is. Oh, it is very methy. Because we don't have central air. Because it's an old place.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  Oh, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  We're also, we're not home that much in the summer. Once the summer comes, we like leave. We go back to my parents' cottage, his family's cabin.

• 51:22H. Foley?

  Do your parents have a cottage?

• 51:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:23H. Foley?

  Where?

• 51:24Speaker 03

  Uh, like, two and a half hours northeast of Toronto.

• 51:27H. Foley?

  Is it on a lake or something?

• 51:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, right on a lake. Very nice.

• 51:30H. Foley?

  So your parents have a nice lake house?

• 51:31Speaker 03

  Yes, very nice.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  Cottage.

• 51:32H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Very nice. Cottage is classy.

• 51:34Speaker 03

  Very nice. They went crazy on this. Yeah. I think they're still paying for it. Yeah, there's a lot.

• 51:38H. Foley?

  Well, that's good.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  Marble counters, all wood interior, antler, um, chandelier.

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Does your dad hunt and fish and all that stuff?

• 51:45Speaker 03

  He fishes, but he's really...

• 51:46H. Foley?

  He fishes? Okay.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's not much hunting now.

• 51:48H. Foley?

  All right, that's not bad. You have a little summer place.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Do you own any weapons? A knife, a brass knuckle?

• 51:54Speaker 03

  No, just a little bat. My dad gave me a bat and like a trailer hitch that he said I should swing if someone comes in the house.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  A trailer hitch?

• 52:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do have weapons would be the answer to that question.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  I have a trailer hitch under my bed right now, yeah.

• 52:05H. Foley?

  Whoa, that's pretty medieval. You have a mace, basically. That's a mace.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  That's a first.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  I do have mace, too.

• 52:11H. Foley?

  You have mace. You carry mace in your purse, I would assume.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  Sometimes, yeah, when I remember it.

• 52:15H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Will you order... Have you ever ordered soda with no ice?

• 52:19Speaker 03

  No. What the fuck? Am I a mentally ill person?

• 52:21Speaker 01

  From what I'm picking up, yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 52:24H. Foley?

  Do you chew your ice?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  If you're making scrambled eggs, will you crack the egg and put the shell back in the carton?

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 52:32H. Foley?

  And you leave them all in there until the whole dozen's done and then you throw it out?

• 52:35Speaker 03

  That's correct, yeah.

• 52:36H. Foley?

  How does Shooter feel about that?

• 52:37Speaker 03

  He eats 12 eggs a day, so those aren't sitting in there long.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're burning and turning.

• 52:42Speaker 03

  We're burning... Oh, yeah.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  It's like an Applebee's at happy hour. You're turning tables.

• 52:45H. Foley?

  And where are you two shopping at?

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Um, it's very... It's very hard. No, I shop at... It's very annoying. There's a place called Lazy Acres in LA. It's so fucking expensive. It pisses me off.

• 52:55H. Foley?

  Is it like Arowan expensive?

• 52:56Speaker 03

  Yes. It's like close. Or I go, I get my produce from a place called John's, which is, if anyone's in LA, they're gonna be laughing because it's embarrassing. But John's has the best liquor and produce. Same shit as...

• 53:05Speaker 01

  Liquor and produce?

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. They got like a fucking sick liquor store. It's cheap, too.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  What's a go-to drink for Steph Toloff? I apologize.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Uh, tequila soda.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Tequila soda.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  Or if I'm out, margarita with a tahin rim.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  Tahin?

• 53:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:18H. Foley?

  Okay. All right.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Not bad.

• 53:20H. Foley?

  Eh.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  The tahin.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  Eh.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  Tahin, it's so much salt, otherwise. But I can't get it from like, I can't do like the mix, the pre-mix. I'm very pick...

• 53:28H. Foley?

  You like a nice one.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  I'm a fancy bitch when it comes to eating and drinking.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  What's on the... Sorry.

• 53:32H. Foley?

  No, I was gonna say, this liquor and produce, is this...

• 53:35Speaker 01

  You got an address for this joint?

• 53:38H. Foley?

  Liquor and chicken. Is this like Brentwood Market kinda nice?

• 53:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 53:42H. Foley?

  Or is it trashy?

• 53:43Speaker 03

  John's is trashy. John's is in my neighborhood is trashy as hell, but the Lazy Acres is like a fancier, like a chicken breast. Like one piece of salmon is like $35.

• 53:51H. Foley?

  Okay, so it's not like organic fruit at the...

• 53:53Speaker 03

  Oh, no. I'm eating swill. My produce is swill, but I'm making sure my meat is...

• 53:56H. Foley?

  It already comes with worms.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  No, it's disgusting.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  I feel like my cherry's rotten. Okay.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  What's on the rider? A veggie tray with hummus. That's it? And sugar-free Red Bulls. Pretty classy.

• 54:10H. Foley?

  It's pretty classy.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  That's not bad. That's not... And water, obviously. That's not...

• 54:13H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's pretty classy.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  I know. Are there any paper plates or red solo cups in your apartment right now? No. My... Shockingly, my apartment is very nice. Okay. I decorated very well. Hey, there's nothing wrong with red solo cups.

• 54:22H. Foley?

  Is there any milk crates in there that you're using as decoration?

• 54:25Speaker 03

  No. No.

• 54:26H. Foley?

  So it would look like an adult lives there, not like a kid out of college.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  It would look like a fancy adult lives there.

• 54:29H. Foley?

  Really?

• 54:30Speaker 03

  I'm very... Yeah, I wish I had a fucking photo. I picked up on the bench and stuff like that. That seems... And the bookshelf, that seems very calculated. Yes, yes, yes. It looks very Wayfair, my house.

• 54:37H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:38H. Foley?

  What's the vacuum cleaner? Dyson?

• 54:40Speaker 03

  No, we got like a... I had a Dyson, stopped working, got annoyed by it. So now we have like a plug-in one, but it's for pet hair, because Jefferson hates Susan's hair.

• 54:48H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  She's not allowed on the couch.

• 54:50H. Foley?

  Sounds just like multiple roommates you have. Jefferson hates Susan. Who's Susan? You have a Swiffer?

• 54:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 54:56H. Foley?

  You said you have a washer and dryer in the unit?

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 54:58H. Foley?

  What's the laundry detergent?

• 55:00Speaker 03

  I do like a natural one because I'm sensitive skin, yes.

• 55:03H. Foley?

  Okay. Not bad. Have you ever skied in jeans?

• 55:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 55:07H. Foley?

  Can you ski?

• 55:08Speaker 03

  I can ski.

• 55:09H. Foley?

  Okay. Can you ice skate?

• 55:11Speaker 03

  No, and it's so annoying because I'm Canadian. But I'm... I used to play floor hockey and like field hockey in high school.

• 55:16H. Foley?

  Okay. Are you a good swimmer?

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Yes, very good swimmer. I can tread water for hours. Yes, I do.

• 55:21H. Foley?

  You bite them?

• 55:22Speaker 03

  I have more pick. It's like a tick thing I have. It's very gross.

• 55:26H. Foley?

  Do you get them done? Like, will you go and get a manicure?

• 55:28Speaker 03

  I just got these done because I filmed something last week, but normally...

• 55:31H. Foley?

  But normally, you keep them like that? You don't do the long nails?

• 55:33Speaker 03

  No, no, I hate that. I can't wipe my ass. I'm always back there. I want my... You're always back there? I got a hemorrhoid. It happened this morning. I'm fucking pissed off, yeah.

• 55:40H. Foley?

  You have a hemorrhoid?

• 55:41Speaker 03

  Right now, it's killing me. I'm sitting on an angle. Can you not tell? I'm really leaning on my left side here. Pavy this morning is like, "Don't fucking bleed your hemorrhoid in my house." I'm like, "What am I supposed to do with it?" Take it outside? Don't... As if both of you don't have fucking hemorrhoids. I can see you.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  Listen, I'm gross. I'm not saying I'm not. Just shocked to hear it from you. Any other things like the hemorrhoids that we need to know about?

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Athlete's foot? I got a bad case of athlete's foot right now.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  I can show you, I can show you. I have, I was just on a cruise and I'm allergic.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Do we want to see this picture?

• 56:12Speaker 03

  No, it's so fucked up, I'm gonna show you anyways. I was just on a cruise ship and I'm allergic to the sun.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Were you working or were you vacationing?

• 56:18Speaker 03

  Working, I don't vacation, I haven't vacationed in years, I'm gonna kill myself. Um, this is all over my body right now, so it's like full. It's like, that's my back.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 56:27Speaker 03

  It's, it's, um, I don't know.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  MRSA?

• 56:29Speaker 03

  No, it's like, I think it's an eczema from the sun in the skin. It like, it raises and it blisters and then it scars me.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Okay, did you see, did a doctor see that?

• 56:39Speaker 03

  I have, they have, they have the test, they said they have to test the blister and take it out and test that. And I never around a doctor when it happens, so. I just have issues. I'm fine, it's gone down now.

• 56:49H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  Whew.

• 56:51H. Foley?

  That's a new one.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 56:52Speaker 03

  I love how many new ones I have here.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  Have you ever?

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Oh, that's good or bad?

• 56:57Speaker 01

  It's not great. You don't, you don't want to be breaking new ground on this show.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  God damn it.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Uh, have you ever pulled a fire alarm?

• 57:04Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:05Speaker 01

  Okay. Have you ever intentionally given someone the wrong directions?

• 57:08Speaker 03

  No, no, I'm nice.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Have you ever driven with headphones in?

• 57:11Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  In the Subaru? Does that have a CD player?

• 57:14Speaker 03

  It does, but not Subaru, like when I used to drive my parents' car.

• 57:17H. Foley?

  Does the Subaru have power windows?

• 57:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:19H. Foley?

  Does everything work on the Subaru?

• 57:20Speaker 03

  It's a great Subaru, yes. It's only like 30,000 miles.

• 57:23H. Foley?

  Is it automatic?

• 57:24Speaker 03

  I had nothing when I got it, yeah, that's why I got it, yeah.

• 57:26H. Foley?

  Is it stick or automatic?

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Stick.

• 57:28H. Foley?

  You can drive stick?

• 57:29Speaker 03

  No, no, automatic, sorry, automatic.

• 57:30H. Foley?

  Can you drive stick though?

• 57:31Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I tried to learn, did not work.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:33H. Foley?

  Do you like deviled eggs?

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Love deviled eggs, holy fuck, I'd suck back a whole tray right now, here, here.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  When, uh, have you been to a, a Home Goods, a Marshalls, or TJ Maxx in the last 30 days?

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah, I was at a Marshalls very recently.

• 57:46H. Foley?

  Will you eat over the sink?

• 57:48Speaker 03

  No, I sit down. After working in a restaurant for years, I, every time I eat, I make sure I sit the fuck down. I hate standing and eating.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Makes sense.

• 57:56H. Foley?

  Uh, you said you're big on flossing, you floss every day?

• 57:58Speaker 03

  I floss twice a day.

• 57:59H. Foley?

  Okay, are you peeing in the shower?

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Every time.

• 58:01H. Foley?

  Do you brush your teeth in there?

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Uh, no. Sometimes, but I like, I keep that separate.

• 58:08H. Foley?

  When you brush your teeth, if you're not doing it in the shower, are you walking around the apartment or brushing your teeth?

• 58:13Speaker 03

  No, I'm in there. I'm all the way there.

• 58:14H. Foley?

  Stay right there.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Are you a electric toothbrush or manual? Electric?

• 58:18H. Foley?

  You have a toilet brush at the house?

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, toilet brush.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  I brought emerys.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  No, I got my bidet for the emerys.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  There you go. Is there any milk crates in your apartment?

• 58:27H. Foley?

  I asked her.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Oh, you did? I'm sorry.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  No, it's okay. I just pictured that there being a couple.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  I'm upside down right now. I'm in the weeds with this problem.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  I'm upside down.

• 58:34H. Foley?

  Do you ever get dressed in front of the dryer? Or do you take all your stuff out of there and you fold it and you put it away?

• 58:40Speaker 03

  I put it in like, I let it sit in my hamper for way too long and clean.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  But fold it?

• 58:44Speaker 03

  No, I don't fold it.

• 58:45H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  But also, I have pretty much just jumpsuits.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Okay. Big jumpsuit gal.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  Big, my whole closet. I have like 60 right now. They're just hanging.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  If I could, that would be great if I look, if it was socially acceptable for me to do jumpsuits.

• 58:57H. Foley?

  What's the deodorant situation?

• 58:59Speaker 03

  A natural one that doesn't fucking work.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Hume, it's called. Jason Ellis, if you know him, he sell, I don't know, he works for other people.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Will you use the pool at a hotel?

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Never in my life. I'm not getting MRSA, what the fuck?

• 59:12Speaker 01

  You haven't?

• 59:14H. Foley?

  Will you walk around in your bare feet in the hotel room?

• 59:16Speaker 03

  No, ew. Hotels are disgusting.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  Bare feet?

• 59:21Speaker 01

  That's the second time we got that.

• 59:22H. Foley?

  That's a weird line. Weird line. Perfume?

• 59:27Speaker 03

  I wear like a coconut body spray.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Drink a bottle a day.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  That's why I have nice breath.

• 59:32H. Foley?

  Do you have liquor in the house?

• 59:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:34H. Foley?

  You do. So you guys will make a cocktail in your home?

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Sometimes. We'll make like a dirty vodka martinis, our go-to at the house.

• 59:40H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  I know.

• 59:41H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  She just means in a dirty glass.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  I mean in a solo cup.

• 59:46H. Foley?

  Kind of coffee cup?

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Do you know how to use chopsticks?

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:51H. Foley?

  Ever take karate classes?

• 59:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 59:54Speaker 01

  Do you know, I'm sorry, do you know anybody that worked at Hooters?

• 59:57Speaker 03

  No.

• 59:58H. Foley?

  Any turquoise jewelry?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Yes, I have a couple rings.

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  All right, take it easy.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  If you go to a restaurant, will you ask to change tables?

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've done that.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Why, you know, under what circumstances?

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Well, I'll tell you what, Smokehouse in Los Angeles. Have you been to Smokehouse?

• 1:00:16H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  You gotta go to Smokehouse.

• 1:00:18H. Foley?

  Is it a barbecue place?

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  No, it's a classic, it's like a steakhouse.

• 1:00:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  Right across from, um, W. Warner Brothers lot. It's like, right there, it's like, classic. They have a nice, huge booth with the big plush backs.

• 1:00:29H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Then they sometimes sloppy at the sides, it was our-

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  You wanted a booth?

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  I wanted a booth. And they put us in, it was like a fucking, it was like, like, not, it was like a-

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  You shit on our chairs, you're about to shit on our chairs.

• 1:00:38H. Foley?

  No, that's okay, I understand.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  No, these were more comfortable than those chairs. They were bad, they were bad chairs.

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  I got you.

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  And by the corner where the door's opening, I'm not sitting like that. If I'm gonna spend, we're gonna buy a bottle of wine, we're both gonna have a martini, we're gonna spend, we're both eating steaks. I'm not, I'm not eating steak and being slopped around.

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  And it was empty and you're like, hey, is it okay to go over there?

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, there was a hundred booths, yeah, and I was like, I said my sciatica was acting out.

• 1:00:56H. Foley?

  Do you have a sciatica?

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  My hemorrhoids are flaring, miss, I need a booth.

• 1:01:01H. Foley?

  I need a donut pillow. So you have sciatica, you have hemorrhoids?

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:01:06H. Foley?

  Okay, and whatever that skin rash is?

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:01:08H. Foley?

  From the sun?

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  The non-diagnosable, uh, disease.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  I don't go to the sun a lot, so I-

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Uh, will you send food back and under what circumstance?

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  No, that, unless it's like fucking, there's a hair clumped on or something, and then I'll, I'll suck it back.

• 1:01:21H. Foley?

  How do you get the steak cooked?

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  Medium rare.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  Gentlemen, okay, she's got some, some, you know-

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  She's got three out of a hundred. I mean-

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  What the hell?

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 1:01:34H. Foley?

  What, what about leftovers, take leftovers?

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  There's not really leftovers around with me. Me and my boyfriend, oh yeah, we're sucking back and play.

• 1:01:41H. Foley?

  You're finishing it.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Last night we went out with Olivia and Pavy.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  You think shooter McGavin's nephew can't put down a T-bone steak?

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  We went out last night with Olivia and Pavy and then we ordered all this stuff and then Olivia's like, oh, we'll, we'll take this to go, we'll, we'll finish it. Nothing to take, maybe one, one lemon potato left, maybe.

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  Where'd you go?

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  Greek place in, um, Astoria.

• 1:01:57H. Foley?

  On Dipmars?

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58H. Foley?

  Kiklitis?

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  It's on the corner, it's like a huge patio.

• 1:02:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  No, that's not, is it Kiklitis?

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  No, it's got a big blue outside awning.

• 1:02:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's Kiklitis. Small little joint inside.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:02:09H. Foley?

  Little bar up front.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:02:10H. Foley?

  That's Kiklitis.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  Delicious, I got recognized, I walked in.

• 1:02:12H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  The hostess went, oh my god, Steph Tolev, and I went, oh, it's bad.

• 1:02:18H. Foley?

  That's our spot. Shout out to Olivia and Patty for taking you a nice joint.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was so fucking good.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  I mean, like, listen, this is, this is just for the love of the game.

• 1:02:26H. Foley?

  I think she could pull out of this.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  I was gonna, I was gonna have, I was gonna have to start doing replacements.

• 1:02:32H. Foley?

  Do you dance at a wedding?

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  You lost your touch.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  I do dance at a wedding.

• 1:02:34H. Foley?

  Do you have to be drunk to dance at a wedding?

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:02:39H. Foley?

  Okay. What's in the envelope? Say, um, okay, there you go.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  Five hundred. I'll give at least five hundred for one.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  It's great, it's great. That's, I'll give you that. Do you have a go-to karaoke song?

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  Yes, Alanis Morissette, "You I Don't Know." And I sing the fuck out of it.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah!

• 1:02:54H. Foley?

  Oh, man, I bet you she sings with some emotion in that.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Oh, I do. I get really nervous.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  Have you ever farted in your hand and made someone else smell it?

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Me and my dad used to do Blue Angels. Do you guys know what those are? Me and my dad, my sister, at one time at the cottage, we all bonded. It's when you light a match on your ass and it's like a little flame. It's so cute. You gotta try it.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  I mean, that's...

• 1:03:13H. Foley?

  Prom queen, huh?

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  The people's jam.

• 1:03:17H. Foley?

  Well...

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Have you ever ordered a shot of Fireball?

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  I mean, what are we doing here?

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  I mean, what are you doing here? I clearly am trash.

• 1:03:24H. Foley?

  Do you keep the butter on the counter at the house or do you put it in the fridge?

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  No, inside the fridge, fridge, fridge, fridge.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  What kind of air freshener you got in the car?

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  None. I hate the smell. It's annoying. We clean the car. Jefferson cleans my car a lot. And there's no, I have nothing, there's no schlop around the car.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  There's no schlop.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  There's just like the dog, the dog thing in the back.

• 1:03:41H. Foley?

  Who babysat you when you were a kid?

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  My grandma. My mom's mom.

• 1:03:45H. Foley?

  Not bad.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46H. Foley?

  Any Crystal Light in your family history?

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  No, well, I wasn't, I had Pop as a kid.

• 1:03:50H. Foley?

  What's that?

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  No Pop as a kid.

• 1:03:52H. Foley?

  You were allowed soda?

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  No, yeah, soda, sorry.

• 1:03:54H. Foley?

  What do you, do you have it now?

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  Diet Coke sometimes.

• 1:03:57H. Foley?

  That's it.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  When I'm hungover, yeah.

• 1:03:58H. Foley?

  What were you drinking at dinner when you, when you were a kid?

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  And then if I didn't finish it, my dad would dump it on my head. Waste, really. Bizarre.

• 1:04:04H. Foley?

  He would dump it on your head?

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, if I didn't finish my skim milk out of a bag. You know how disgusting that is?

• 1:04:09H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm aware.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  I forgot about the Canadian bags.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  He, he would cut the hole so big, the hole, the bag would just smell like the fridge. It was like fridge milk. It was disgusting. And skim is so gross.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  I mean, that's...

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  How am I making it worse?

• 1:04:24H. Foley?

  That's enough.

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  You need to stop talking.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  Seriously.

• 1:04:29H. Foley?

  Let's cut to commercial real quick.

• 1:04:33H. Foley?

  We'll be right back with The Roots, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, 101% pure, unfiltered.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Imported.

• 1:04:44H. Foley?

  Imported.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Canadian.

• 1:04:46H. Foley?

  Canadian garbage. You did not disappoint, my friend.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  No, fantastic.

• 1:04:51H. Foley?

  I will tell you that, buddy. 100% trash. What a story.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:04:55H. Foley?

  What a ride. Unbelievable. Congrats on everything.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:04:59H. Foley?

  June 24th.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  I hope the pills kick in soon.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  I need pills, man.

• 1:05:03H. Foley?

  Good luck with the hemorrhoids. June 24th on Netflix, Filth Queen.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:05:09H. Foley?

  Look at that Netflix special.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  Love to see it.

• 1:05:11H. Foley?

  Look at her.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:05:12H. Foley?

  Where'd you film this at?

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  Boston, at the Paradise Rock Club.

• 1:05:15H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like an old school.

• 1:05:17H. Foley?

  Shout out to Boston.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it looks like it was like an old Van Halen set. The lights, the trellises, it looks fucking sick as hell.

• 1:05:22H. Foley?

  I love it. That's June 24th on Netflix. Make sure you check it out. Steph Infection.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:05:27H. Foley?

  You can hear that every week, her amazing podcast. Uh, you're on tour.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  I'm on tour nonstop. Fucking, uh, add me on Instagram.

• 1:05:33H. Foley?

  Working. You're doing fantastic. We're, we're so happy for you.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd love to see it.

• 1:05:36H. Foley?

  We love you and, uh, yeah, I'm gonna go wash my hands.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  I gotta go wash my hemorrhoid.

• 1:05:43H. Foley?

  That's probably what you were doing in there. Steph Tolev, ladies and gentlemen, give her a big round of applause.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  Thank you, I'm trash.

• 1:05:50H. Foley?

  Did not disappoint. Jesus. Kippy, what do you got for them?

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Uh, guys, we're over the road. Tour dates are on sale. Uh, get them at areyougarbage.com. Also, uh, we have some card games left. AreYouGarbage.com, love yous.

• 1:06:01H. Foley?

  Steph, we love you.

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:06:02H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.