Harland Williams Returns!

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Harland Williams! We're talkin' Power Lunches, Fishing with the Fonz and tales of Hollywood's past. You know Harland Williams from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, the Harland Highway Podcast, This is Not Happening, Your Moms House w/ Tom Segura, Kill Tony, Tiger Belly w/ Bobby Lee, Take Your Shoes Off w/ Rick Glassman, You Be Trippin' w/ Ari Shaffir, TigerBelly and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Upside: Download the FREE Upside App and use promo code ayg to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% Off Sitewide Pestie: For 10% off your order, go to https://pestie.com/ayg - all lowercase. Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Gang, the 2025 edition of the Are You Garbage card game, third edition is on sale right now at areyougarbage.com. Play it with your friends, play with your family, and see who is trash.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here. Was your babysitter a man?

• 0:14H. Foley?

  Yes, he was.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Hit me. Ever been run over? How you doin'?

• 0:16H. Foley?

  Yes, I have.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Can you pick up stuff with your toes?

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Yes, I can.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Gang, available at areyougarbage.com, and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on board.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:45H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:52H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they're good to be classy.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:56H. Foley?

  Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:59H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's and a new addition. She just made a little breakfast.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  Newport 100 and some cooking wine.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 1:09H. Foley?

  It's gonna be a short day. I'll tell you that right now. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him, and I don't care who knows it. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Ah, thank you very much. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video that's now available on Spotify over there. Part of that program. Go check that out. And Patreon.com/areyougarbage. Gang, all the fun happens there.

• 1:39H. Foley?

  Yes, sir, and we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. One of the few, believe it or not, to come up classy.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Put us through the wringer.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  In the Are You Garbage algorithm. Don't let the sun-kissed coffee and can of Coke fool ya, or the MacGyver leather jacket that he walked in.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00H. Foley?

  Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Harland Williams, everybody. Look at him.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Thank you. I mean, he just hit us like he was doing panel. That was good. Yeah, thank you. This guy's a goddamn pro. Thank you. So the last time you were here, we went back and did our research. We, you know, we had our data entry team. Go back and pull all the facts from the last episode and they said you were a big Coca-Cola slash maybe Diet Coke kinda guy. So we went out and got you some, we went out and got you a can of Coke and a can of Diet Coke.

• 2:30H. Foley?

  He's a soda man.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  And he came in with his own bottle of Sunkist. And I go, "Do you want a Coke?" He goes, "I got some Sunkist in my bag I'm gonna have, but bring the Coke in case I wanna double dip."

• 2:39H. Foley?

  Very Harvey P. Caro.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:41H. Foley?

  Harvey P. Caro, big soda guy. Big orange soda guy.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  He a comic?

• 2:46H. Foley?

  No.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  He was a comic book artist. He was, did some very obscure, kind of Gen X style comedy. I can't even hear myself. Is that bad?

• 2:58Speaker 01

  We're not even doing a podcast right now.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Well, I like my voice.

• 3:00H. Foley?

  You're having a stroke with a lot of sugar.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Let's see.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  How about that?

• 3:03H. Foley?

  Are his headphones on?

• 3:04Speaker 03

  I really like my voice.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Can you hear us?

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can hear you. Oh, there we go.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Thanks, Tim.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Oh, that's new guy Tim.

• 3:12H. Foley?

  Charlie!

• 3:14H. Foley?

  Hey, new guy Tim's alright.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  By the way, what does it take to become like a piece of garbage? Like, I guess I should've asked before I sat down. Like, how do you qualify?

• 3:23H. Foley?

  You shocked us.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  He just turned the show on us.

• 3:26H. Foley?

  You shocked us a little bit.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  I did?

• 3:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  We thought you were gonna be a little more trashy, but you're, you know...

• 3:32H. Foley?

  You're well-traveled.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Well-traveled.

• 3:33H. Foley?

  Well-educated. Come from good stock.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:37H. Foley?

  Very smart with your money.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Good amount of cash.

• 3:39H. Foley?

  Good amount of cash.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  The soda's not great, you know?

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:43H. Foley?

  Give it indulgence.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  But what makes you garbage?

• 3:47Speaker 01

  I would have to argue two sodas on the table, two different sodas on the table at the same time is a step into the garbage realm.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Okay, so I'm sort of litter, heading towards garbage?

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. You're refuse at the moment.

• 3:59H. Foley?

  You're an old Big Mac wrapper.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Okay, good.

• 4:02H. Foley?

  Just outside the trash can.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  But we do have, we do have some, did you have anything you wanted to?

• 4:07H. Foley?

  I was just gonna ask him how the flight in was.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Oh, it was great. We only crashed twice.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Those are good numbers.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, as long as we get here, it's fine with me.

• 4:16H. Foley?

  You fly up front, I assume? Gentlemen such as yourself?

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I'm a cockpit guy. I like... I like to look out the front window, yeah.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Now, now I know why you crashed twice.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's probably about right there now.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Okay, huh.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I like to sit right up front. I like to know who's flying my rig. I like to know, get personable with the captain, the co-pilot. And just chit chat, feel like befriending them so that they're invested more in getting me there safely.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  You gotta get Harland to, "Are you garbage?" You know what I mean?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Right. Like if I'm sitting back in the fuselage, in ambiguity row, I call it, where they don't know me.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  They must be faceless.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  I wanna be flying with a guy and make eye contact.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 5:02Speaker 03

  And sometimes I even play REO Speedwagon, "I can't take this feeling anymore," on my phone, while we're making eye contact. And I usually get there in pretty good shape.

• 5:13H. Foley?

  The fuselage just sounds bad, doesn't it? It sounds like you're not gonna make it.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  You only hear it during a wreckage. Like, "We've located the fuselage." It's never like, "Hey, I'm sitting back here. It's great in the fuselage."

• 5:25Speaker 03

  It's a really weird word. And by the way, it's also a sex act in West Hollywood, just so you know.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Fuselage?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  If you've got enough cash on you.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  I've done that before.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Uh, now, if you are on a plane and you're back in the fuselage, as you say, you know, as a...

• 5:37H. Foley?

  He's not. He's flying up front. What are you talking? This guy's got cash.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  It's still the fuselage. Even the first class is the fuselage, I believe. Will you ding the bell to let, you know, if you want another, you know, sun kissed or so? Will you call them over? Do you wait till they make the rounds?

• 5:52Speaker 03

  It's funny, on the flight up here, I had to ding the bell like four times because the, uh, you know, I haven't been drinking Coke all year.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  You said you've been doing pretty... I've been off Coke since January. Only had ten.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  Since January. I've only had ten, but on the flight, I sort of broke a little.

• 6:09H. Foley?

  They're good on flights.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  It was a morning flight, and so I dung the lady. That sounded wrong. That sounded like a German movie.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  They threw me off the plane.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I dunged the lady. Uh, but I dunged her, and she just sort of ignored it. So I wasn't gonna wait. When you get a Coke fix, you need it. So I dunged her again. And then I dunged her again. I think I dunged her four or five times.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Really?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Right in the fuselage.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a lot of dunging.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:35H. Foley?

  Were you taking off or anything like that?

• 6:37Speaker 03

  No, we were midair, but she was just sort of, she was, it was very interesting. I have a hat that says, "Be a good human." And it's a blue baseball cap and everywhere I go, people are like, you know, they love that. They go out of their way to say, "Great hat." And when I walked in, this lady, she just went, "Yeah, good luck finding one of those."

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Like, right out of, and I thought she was goofing. I was like, "Yeah, yeah." But everyone, she's like, just like nod, like scowling.

• 7:04H. Foley?

  Is this the flight attendant?

• 7:05Speaker 03

  This is a flight attendant.

• 7:06H. Foley?

  The same flight attendant that you dung four times?

• 7:08Speaker 03

  That I had to dung four or five times. And so, she was just not loving her life, I think. And so, I had to dung her five times. Like, I dung her real deep. And, uh, yeah, so it took her, what, funny you brought that up? Because usually, it's dung and done.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  But this was dung and not dung.

• 7:27H. Foley?

  They recognize you on the plane, walking to the airport? I'm sure people stop you, "Hey, Harlan, let me get a pic."

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Yes, and that's, that sounds snobby, but that's part of the reason why I do sit up front. Because it's a bit confining in the fuselage. You're sort of trapped and what happens is...

• 7:43H. Foley?

  You don't want to be back there with the heathens, I get it.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  No, no, it's not that, what...

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Amen, brother.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  What happens is when one person asks for a picture, then it sort of causes a chain reaction. And next thing you know, and it's very sort of, uh, it's flattering, but it causes anxiety. So, I just try to sit up front, just so I can just sort of have a little bit of privacy and, uh, yeah, yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Now, do you get that somewhat, because you're, you know, you're very recognizable. You've had a great career, like even, just not even the pictures or anything, but you're out to dinner. Does the waiter say that, like, "Hey, big fan"? Do you get that a lot?

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  They know who you, everybody pretty much has, can recognize you.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I get a lot of that. Sometimes they even sit down, which is, which is, I'm not even joking.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  You done with this mozzarella stick?

• 8:28Speaker 03

  I've had waiters where they just, they get so ingratiated with you, they just slide in. And I've had it even when I've been with people. Like, they just, I was at one restaurant where I literally used to go to, in LA, the Wolfgang Pox. And I loved it.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  You are a bit of a foodie, we've learned last time. You feel like a nice restaurant, yeah.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Foodie's a weird term.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Whenever I hear a woman go, "I'm a foodie," I go, "Well, in my day, we just called him a fatty, really."

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Tomato, tomato, you know what I mean?

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Good way to cover up eating a lot. "I'm a foodie," yeah. You look like you're a foodie.

• 9:01H. Foley?

  Sounds like you like having sex with a duck breast, if you say a foodie.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:05H. Foley?

  Do you like a duck breast?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  I like it if the areolas are brown. I don't like pink areolas on my duck breast.

• 9:14H. Foley?

  That's a South American duck.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:17H. Foley?

  Hold on, Wolfgang Pucks, we forget about this now. That, um, we love the, you know, we love the, you know, we're very nostalgic when it comes to Hollywood around that time.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:27H. Foley?

  You were there.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:28H. Foley?

  Do you remember when Wolfgang's opened? Like you were going.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  He was in the cockpit.

• 9:32H. Foley?

  Were you going there in the 90s?

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I was saying. I would go there all the time and one of the waiters, he would literally sit down with whoever I was with and start talking to us. And the first couple of times was like, hey, and then it was, he'd not only sit down, but he'd stay for like five, six minutes. And I literally had to go to the manager and say, look, I don't want to get your guy in trouble. He's a great guy. We love coming here, but it's very uncomfortable. I said, if you don't tell him to back off, we're not coming anymore. And can you just please talk to him in a nice way? We don't want him to get fired.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  He's sort of overstepping the boundaries.

• 10:10H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  And we went back and it didn't stop. So we stopped going there. It was, it was.

• 10:15H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 10:16Speaker 03

  The guy was nice, but he just had no filter. He didn't realize he was really sort of imposing on an intimate moment, you know?

• 10:24H. Foley?

  Of course, especially if you're having like a business thing or something like that.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, business or with family or friends or it was just like, it didn't matter. He just popped down and a real chatterbox like it just on and on and on. And we were just like, can we get this, you know, the scallops please guy?

• 10:40Speaker 01

  He sits down like, can we get more bread around here?

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:42H. Foley?

  You're also, which interests me from the time when like, uh, you know, as you were popping off, certain executives might, might want to, you know, work with you and stuff like that. They take you out to a dinner like that.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Get wind and dine.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. It's nice to be taken out and spoiled a little bit when you're.

• 10:58H. Foley?

  Like the head of Sony or CBS or something like that takes you out? Now, when you would be in that situation, if like an executive would say, we want to be in the Harland Williams business.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:07H. Foley?

  And they take you out back in the day, would you be back, knowing that they're going to pay, they're going to pick up the check? Would you be banging them out or were you pretty?

• 11:15Speaker 03

  No, I would, I was, I'm a big lobster guy and there was a place in LA called The Palms.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  Of cour- The Palm Restaurant?

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I would, I would get them to take me there, cause I thought, you know, they got, studios make 300 billion a year.

• 11:30H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  You can get a goddamn lobster.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get, so I would take them to the, I would ask them to take me to The Palms.

• 11:36H. Foley?

  That was your booth?

• 11:37Speaker 03

  And get a lobster, and it was really great, cause a lot of, um, I remember I went there once and Chris Farley was there eating.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Oh shit.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  I went there once and, uh, the guy who plays Freddy Krueger was there eating, and you should've seen him cut his steak. Oh my god, he just flayed it, yeah. But, uh, Robert England, that's right, yeah.

• 11:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, that is pretty cool.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  It was a good spot, and, and you don't feel bad when, when, you know, they're, they're whining and dining you, so why not do it nice? You know, you don't get that every day, so.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  As a comic back then, that was somewhat of a fle- somewhat of a flex too, you would wanna go to where other comics might be having dinner. It's like, oh, look, Harland's having dinner with fucking, uh, Robert, Robert Evans.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  I didn't care about any of that, I just liked a good lobster. It was hard to find in LA.

• 12:22H. Foley?

  See, that's why you're classy, you're right up the middle.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Do you still like a nice lobster?

• 12:26Speaker 03

  I love it, I love it, I went yesterday to Luke's Lobster here in, you know, in, uh, New York.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 12:32H. Foley?

  Really?

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got a lobster roll, yeah, I love it.

• 12:34H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  It's weird, cause they have it at the subway station.

• 12:38H. Foley?

  It's a little fast foodie, to be honest with you.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  It's odd to be eating an expensive lobster as a subway screeches by and it smells like a dutch oven. It's just like, you know, people walking by and you're sitting there eating a lobster, it's very peculiar, but it's like, you know, having an omelet upside down in a helicopter. It's just like bizarre.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  That would be a frittata.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Where do you like to get a lobster in LA? Like, where's the one place that you're going in LA, you're like, I'm getting a lobster here?

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Well, it was The Palms, but they shut it down recently.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  So now, uh-

• 13:13H. Foley?

  The Palm closed in LA?

• 13:15Speaker 03

  It closed, yeah.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  With all the pictures on the wall and all that stuff?

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I even, they even had my picture up there at one point, so I was really, yeah. My manager took me one day and we sat down and we were having the lobster and he just goes, "Look up." And I look up and there's my face looking down, they, the artist would draw-

• 13:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's big.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  And to me that was bigger than having a Hollywood star of fame, you know, just to have, have my face watching people eat was really fun.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Is there anywhere else your picture is? A pizza plate that you know of, a pizza place, a barber shop, something, dry cleaner, or something like that?

• 13:49Speaker 03

  I think it's, you know, a lot of comedy clubs, but my favorite moment...

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, their headshot, everybody's...

• 13:56Speaker 03

  When I was in, uh...

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Tim's got his head up in there.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  Tim's got his head. Tim likes head. I, uh, I was starting out in Hollywood and things were just sort of getting going. And, uh, you know, you're kind of a nobody till you're a somebody. And near my house, there was a Blockbuster video. And they had a parking lot, and on the, on the little, like, the little cement blocks at the front where you pull in?

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Little block, they had people's names. And one day after, been going there for about two or three years, I pulled in, and I pulled, and my name was on, on the thing, and that, that made me so happy. It was like, it was really weird, yeah.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  You're in your car, ready to kill yourself. You see that, you're like, alright.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Alright, I made it. Blockbuster parking lot.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Hollywood, baby.

• 14:47H. Foley?

  You ever meet Carson? You ever meet Johnny Carson?

• 14:49Speaker 03

  I never met him, but I, I was fortunate enough to, to go and, and see the taping of two of the shows in Burbank. Cause I had just moved to LA when he was sort of wrapping up. I think he was in his final...

• 15:03H. Foley?

  Right.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  ...three years.

• 15:04H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  And I, I, I knew that I wasn't there long enough to, to get on the show, but I thought I at least want to see it. So I got, I got someone to help me get tickets to go in, and I got to sit there and watch him twice, like, come through and, and do it. So that was pretty special.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  That's amazing.

• 15:21H. Foley?

  Something else back then.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  And then I did Star Search way back in the day, and Ed McMahon was the host, so that was like the next best thing.

• 15:29H. Foley?

  You were on Star Search?

• 15:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  How'd you do?

• 15:31H. Foley?

  This is before everything, right?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:33H. Foley?

  This is before the movies and all that stuff?

• 15:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  How did you do?

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Uh, my first showing, I did, I got a perfect score.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then my second showing, I got a perfect score, except for one judge decided he hated me and gave me the lowest score. And so I lost to another guy by like a third of a point or something.

• 15:55H. Foley?

  Who was that guy? Do you remember?

• 15:56Speaker 03

  He was a DJ from, uh, San Francisco and the producer stopped the show. That they came up to me and they said, Harlem, we stopped the show. I go, why? He goes, this has never happened before. We asked the judge if he made a mistake. Cause everyone loved you and, and he, I said, well, what happened? He said, he just didn't like you. For whatever, whether my shirt was green or something. So he kind of blew it for me, but, um, but it was interesting. The guy that I beat on my first round was the guy that ended up winning the whole thing, which was weird because they, they added up all the points and he had won like three or four in a row. I knocked him out, but because of his accumulated points, he, so in a way I beat the guy that won the whole thing.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  None of it made sense.

• 16:43H. Foley?

  And who was that guy? Was it somebody that became famous?

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's a, he's this redheaded, uh, is, I think he's a Scottish guy and you might know him. He does this whole thing where he does a PowerPoint presentation. Tall, redheaded guy. I forget his name, but his whole bit is he does a, a PowerPoint and he's very funny.

• 17:00H. Foley?

  He's not Harlem Williams though.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  No, I don't even know if I am.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Man, this just got meta.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Do you know who that host was or the, the judge by any chance?

• 17:10Speaker 03

  I don't know. It was, it was a, it was a guy, a DJ, an African-American guy from, uh,

• 17:16H. Foley?

  Harvey Fier.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  From, from, uh, San Francisco and he just,

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Didn't like you.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  Something I did just, and, and all the other judges gave me a perfect score and he, he gave me the lowest one you could get. So that was kind of a bummer.

• 17:28H. Foley?

  That would have been big at the time. That's a hundred G's, I believe.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  It was, and I was sort of, I was like taking chances and I remember I did two new bits that I'd never done. On my, on my second outing. Like I did two new bits that I'd never even tried in a comedy club. So that probably wasn't the smartest thing, but I still did all, all right overall.

• 17:49H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:51H. Foley?

  That's why you're classy, my friend.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Oh geez.

• 17:53H. Foley?

  For all those reasons.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 17:55H. Foley?

  Despite buzzing the lady, which she should have brought you a goddamn.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Dung odor.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Still, still not garbage yet? Or do you wait till the end of the show?

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Fuck, I almost won Star Search.

• 18:04H. Foley?

  Yeah, I almost won Star Search. I don't think that, that ruling's not gonna change. I don't think.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  I mean, we'll, we'll see.

• 18:10H. Foley?

  Okay, let's talk about Upside.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  Shout out to Upside.

• 18:13H. Foley?

  Gang, one of the smartest apps you can have in your phone in 2025 is Upside. Upside gives you the power to earn more on the stuff you buy all the time. Whether you're filling up your tank, going out to eat, or shopping for groceries. The Upside app lets you earn cash back on every purchase. Upside users are making as much as, how much you think?

• 18:34Speaker 01

  I don't know, 50 bucks?

• 18:35H. Foley?

  280 bucks a year. What? That's a little bit of cash.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  That's a little bit of turkey.

• 18:40H. Foley?

  What are we doing here?

• 18:41Speaker 01

  And everything matters at this day and age. You need every little, uh, nickel and dime you can get. And listen, 280 bucks ain't no nickel and dime either.

• 18:48H. Foley?

  That's cash back, too.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Uh, the free Upside app gets you cash back on daily essentials like gas, groceries, and dining. That they, we, uh, we use our promo code. We set one up for the, uh, for AYG. Anthony's got one. All the stuff on the road, we're bebopping the scat and we're fucking earning back and forth.

• 19:03H. Foley?

  She's asking for advances on it.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  To get started, she wanted that 280 in cash upfront. To get started, download the free Upside app, use our promo code AYG, and get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. When we're on the road, that's what we're doing. We're wetting our beaks on the back end. Uh, there's over 100,000 gas stations, grocery stores, and restaurants on the Upside app, ensuring that the cash back is always just around the corner. You can earn, earn an average of 8% on restaurant and grocery purchases. Download the free Upside app and use promo code AYG to get an extra 25 cent back on every gallon on your first tank. That's an extra 25%, 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code AYG. Do it.

• 19:43H. Foley?

  Yeah. Okay, let's talk about Helix one more time.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll sing it from the rafters, baby. I love Helix.

• 19:48H. Foley?

  We'll be talking about Helix from the get-go. We'll be talking about it to the end of time, baby. That's how much we love Helix. I'm telling you, it's got one problem over at Helix. The beds are too good.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Big men don't want to get out.

• 20:00H. Foley?

  Man, I want to stay in that thing all the time. That's my dream machine. That and a CPAP. Good night. Gang, do yourself a favor. Get over to Helix, take the two-minute quiz. Find out how you sleep, whether you sleep on your side, on your back, whether you sleep hot, you're cold, are you a big guy, you a small guy? Are you tall? They'll match you with the perfect mattress just for you and you'll be sleeping like a dream in no time.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's each fully guaranteed.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  Tell them Hank's saying it.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  It was one of, I mean, I've been using a Helix mattress for at least four years. When they signed on, they were nice enough to send me one. I was the first one to use it. I gotta tell you, there ain't no going back at all. I'm Helix through and through. So go to helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site wide, baby. That's helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/garbage. Do it.

• 20:52H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Now, back to the show. But let's get into it. So as you guys know, when you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Uh, let's see here. This one, you know, you're at home. This is from Trav Hitme. "As a gentleman of class, is it garbage to leave your peanut butter knife on the edge of the sink for the next use rather than immediately washing? Will you do that with any utensil? If you're making something, you kind of set it off to the side or will you, will you, will you wash it?

• 21:19Speaker 03

  It depends what it is, but peanut butter is good because I do do that. I leave it, but it's, it's so viscous that you can just get a paper towel and go, and it's clean.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  The good feeling.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  You don't even have to wash it under the water. Yeah. But if it's like spaghetti sauce or Thai food where it like affixes itself and it encruses then you sort of got to wash it, you know?

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  But I'll only do it if I run out of utensils. Like if I open the drawer and I go, oh, I got no more forks left. I go, I just, I ate Thai with this one last night. Let's wash it.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  That's garbage. Am I garbage?

• 21:57Speaker 01

  I can't picture Harlan Williams running out of forks for some reason.

• 21:59H. Foley?

  No, I can't either.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  We know the house is nice. We know, we know you got a nice set of silverware in there.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, I do.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  You better believe it, sister.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  I actually bought my silver. This is a weird story. Glenn Campbell's garage sale. His estate sale. This guy.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Who's Glenn Campbell?

• 22:18H. Foley?

  What do you mean, he's an old country western stuff?

• 22:20Speaker 03

  Glenn Campbell, I am the linesman for the county. Hello, rhinestone cowboy?

• 22:25Speaker 01

  I apologize.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  I've been walking these streets.

• 22:29H. Foley?

  That's crazy. See, that kinda shit is so cool to me.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:31H. Foley?

  Being in Hollywood at that time when all those guys were getting old and stuff like that.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  And dying.

• 22:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  They could've had their lampshade if they wanted it.

• 22:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'd love that stuff.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  So I bought his utensils and they're, they're kinda really cool. They're, they're like, they have like, what are those things? Rhinestones on them and they're just, they're kinda like...

• 22:48Speaker 01

  They don't.

• 22:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:50H. Foley?

  Got horsehair on them?

• 22:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  They all got tassels on them?

• 22:54Speaker 03

  No, they're really cool, like custom, those guys have...

• 22:57Speaker 01

  What'd that set you back? Do you remember?

• 22:59Speaker 03

  It wasn't that much. I think they wanted about, uh, I think it was about 200 bucks for the whole set.

• 23:04H. Foley?

  Is that an auction situation?

• 23:06Speaker 03

  No, this is like an estate sale.

• 23:07H. Foley?

  How, I don't know what that, how does that work?

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Estate sales, it's like a fancy term for a garage sale, but it's more like people with money. They can't say garage sale.

• 23:16H. Foley?

  So you go to the house?

• 23:17Speaker 03

  I went up to his mansion, yeah, up in Beverly Hills and there, that's the only thing I really wanted. I got his utensils. Unbelievable.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  Anybody else you go to, you go to anybody else's estate sales like that?

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Who did I go to? I went to Farrah Fawcett's and, uh...

• 23:32H. Foley?

  Got some underwear.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  No, this is weird. I don't even know if I should talk about this one.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Okay. It's up to, I mean, that's totally your goal.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Well, she was, she was part of my childhood. She was famous and she had, she did that famous poster with the red bathing suit.

• 23:47H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  And, as you know, in the end, she, she got the cancer, which was, and so she had to get a bunch of wigs made. And so when I went to her estate sale, I got, grabbed three or four of the wigs and sometimes I'd, I'll put on the red bathing suit.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Okay, well.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Harland after dark.

• 24:07H. Foley?

  Wow. I don't think he's getting...

• 24:11Speaker 01

  That one can go either way and I respect it, my man.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Hey, to each their own, you know?

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'll ice my nipples and get them good and hard. Well, you asked.

• 24:23H. Foley?

  Peanut butter wise, you chunky? You chunky or you smooth? What do you like?

• 24:29Speaker 03

  I like chunky now and then, when as a kid I dug it more. Now I sort of like the smooth, like, yeah. But I'll go both ways, but smooth.

• 24:37H. Foley?

  Is that a staple in the Williams home? Is there a jar of peanut butter always there?

• 24:41Speaker 03

  There's a jar of peanut butter, because I play a lot of sports. So sometimes if I'm not like, you know, if I-

• 24:48H. Foley?

  A little protein, a little protein whack.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  If I need a kick, I know like I'll just spread some peanut butter on two pieces of bread and then boom, I got some-

• 24:57Speaker 01

  I gotcha. And what is the drink with that? As a soda man, we've talked, I was a soda man for a long time. What are you drinking with that? You make a peanut butter sandwich, you sit down to watch some TV? What's the beverage?

• 25:07Speaker 03

  I love apple juice.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  Whoa, that's a lot of sugar, I feel.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  But just sometimes, just because I like a kick, you know, and it's gonna sound odd, I'll drink a straight teriyaki. Like a great teriyaki sauce.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Take the edge off a little bit, after a long day of work.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  Straight out of the bottle. Suck it like a demented gerbil with rabies.

• 25:27H. Foley?

  I love a teriyaki.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, right?

• 25:28H. Foley?

  Nice and sweet little club soda.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:31H. Foley?

  You're an apple juice man.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love apple juice.

• 25:34H. Foley?

  That is interesting.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  What brand do you do? Do you do Mott's or do you like that, the nature's organ?

• 25:39Speaker 03

  I like the Mott's, yeah. I'll do the Mott's, I'm a Mott's guy.

• 25:44H. Foley?

  What about Martinelli's? Do you know Martinelli's?

• 25:45Speaker 03

  I have two Martinelli's too. They usually come in the glass bottle. They're like sort of the champagne of apple juice.

• 25:51H. Foley?

  Delicious.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  I remember I had a pool party once at my house and I invited-

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Martinelli, as far as the eye could see.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  I invited Will Ferrell up and, you know, we had all these people around and as a joke, I said, can I get you a drink, Will? And I guess he wasn't drinking and I said, what do you got? And I said, I got, you know, this, that, apple juice. And he said, give me an apple juice. So as a gag, I got an apple juice. Excuse me, and I put all this stuff in it. Like I put like, clamato juice and like milk and I mustard, like I just filled it with crap and I didn't think he drank it. So I go out and I hand it to him and he takes a big drink. He goes, yep, that's my Mott's. And I always remembered that.

• 26:38H. Foley?

  That's alright. Ah, okay.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Ah, okay. Um, growing up at any point, or can you weigh in on this? If you go to someone's house, uh, is it garbage if the toilet water is blue? Like, they have the cleaner in it?

• 26:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  How do you, do you have that? If not, how do you feel about that if you go over to someone's house?

• 26:59Speaker 03

  I, you know, it's, that's a weird one. It's, uh...

• 27:04H. Foley?

  It's an old-school thing.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I think it's okay, cuz it shows that someone's trying to be clean.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Taking care of the property.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  Either that, or some avatars live in their house. Or a Smurf drowned in the middle of the night, something. But, uh, I think it's fine, you know?

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  I mean, blue, what it, what it also does is it masks your pee.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  So you don't have to look at yellow, you get to look at a nice hue of blue. So it's almost like looking into a tropical sunset or something. Like a Caribbean, and if you blow a conch shell while you're, while you're peeing, it really seals the deal.

• 27:42Speaker 03

  And if I have my Farrah Fawcett wig on...

• 27:44H. Foley?

  This would make a lot more sense.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  Isn't it hard to pee with an erection, though?

• 27:48H. Foley?

  How many bathrooms are in, in the house, right now?

• 27:52Speaker 03

  In the house?

• 27:52H. Foley?

  Yes, in your house.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Or in my house?

• 27:54H. Foley?

  In your house.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  So he gets spurned.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  You guys, you guys.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Doesn't like giving up the deed.

• 28:01H. Foley?

  Doesn't like giving up the info.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  He'll tell you, put a wig and a, a wig and a bathing suit on and whack off.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  I'm a private guy, you guys are pushing me to the limit here. Uh, there's three in my, in my house.

• 28:13H. Foley?

  One downstairs, like a powder room?

• 28:15Speaker 03

  No, I live on a flat, level house, yeah.

• 28:18H. Foley?

  Ah!

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, yeah, three, yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  It's pretty good.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:23H. Foley?

  So we were over at the house for the pool party. Is there a designated bathroom that we can go into?

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, in the guest room.

• 28:31H. Foley?

  In the guest room?

• 28:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:32H. Foley?

  Now, what if I went into the bathroom in, in, in your room? Would you be upset with that?

• 28:37Speaker 03

  No, if you were invited guest and you needed to go in there, that'd be fine.

• 28:40H. Foley?

  I can go anywhere.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. Can he poop in there? Would you, would not, obviously?

• 28:44Speaker 03

  I won't know, I won't know, I don't stand and...

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Trust me, you would know.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  I don't stand and watch my guests.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  The homeowners association would be calling.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  I don't go in with them.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  Stand and watch?

• 28:53Speaker 03

  I give them the, the credibility that they know how to do a pee or a movement on their own. But.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Now, how do you feel about that situation? If you were at someone's house, right?

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  Let's just say you're at a holiday party.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  You know, it's, you've been there for two or three hours. You've eaten, but you still, you gotta open the presents or whatever. There's still a couple hours of, and you get the feeling that you have to go to the bathroom quite bad. A number two. And the only bathroom is by kind of where the festivities are happening.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Do you feel okay going into the primary bedroom and going into their, their bathroom and taking a number two there? Would that, would that feel okay for you?

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Well, it's an uncomfortable thing, obviously. So I, for years, I tried to figure a way around it. And I consulted with my doctor. He got me a nice colostomy bag.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  So I can.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  You can go anywhere.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  I can be sitting there opening presents or saying grace.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Or doing a podcast. We're doing it right here.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. Drop a C cucumber while I'm celebrating.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:51H. Foley?

  If you were at like a fancy Hollywood party.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:54H. Foley?

  The who's who is there.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  And we're there, right?

• 29:56H. Foley?

  And you had, and we're talking celebrities. Jack Nicholson, fucking Mel Gibson. I don't know who else. Everybody's there.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Danny DeVito.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  Danny DeVito. And you had to use the, you had to go. Would you leave?

• 30:08Speaker 03

  I would leave the party, yeah.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what, that's what you do.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought, you said if I had to go.

• 30:14H. Foley?

  No, if you had to take, if you had to make a doo doo.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  No, no, what I'd do is I'd do one of those fake Hollywood hugs. And as I was hugging DeVito, I'd squish one out into my colostomy bag.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  No one, no one's done the wiser.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  He wouldn't know.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  He would just think there was a caterpillar crawling up my back or something.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Too soon?

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Uh, all right, let's see, this is one, speaking of celebrities, a big celebrity heavy. This is from Victor. His question is, does your family have any multi-generational beefs with a celebrity? Back in the day, my mom worked in a restaurant and George Thoroughgood came in. The restaurant comped his meal and he unfortunately didn't tip. Growing up, every time a Thoroughgood song came on, my mom would turn it off. That being said, I still don't listen to him to this day and I'm gonna raise my son the same way.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Have you had any, is there any, you know, not beefs, obviously, but like, you know, is there anybody your family didn't like growing up of like, yeah, we don't listen to them. We don't watch this, like out of, out of some sort of odd interpretive beef?

• 31:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, one of my sisters was a waitress at a diner.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 31:21Speaker 03

  And, uh.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  I already don't know if I can believe him.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  I just noticed that-

• 31:26Speaker 03

  What's a sister at a diner? What's so hard to believe?

• 31:29Speaker 01

  That's how good you are.

• 31:30H. Foley?

  I just noticed the tape measure on his waist, by the way.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Holy shit, he's got a 25-foot Stanley tape measure on him.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Well, I like to measure things when I'm walking around. I've got like, remember when Jack Nicholson in As Good As Couldn't Step Over Cracks?

• 31:44H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  I measure everything. Like, I saw a guy coming at me today down the sidewalk, and I measured the space between his eyes. And it was 11 inches, so I-

• 31:54Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  I crossed the street and went the other way, yeah. Like, that just makes me uncomfortable.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  That's a weird-looking dude.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  You gotta get to the doctor.

• 32:04H. Foley?

  Good luck finding a pair of sunglasses to fit that face.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  God, freak.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  I saw, it's funny, I saw him put it on over there. I saw him putting something on his belt, but it didn't register.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like to just sort of-

• 32:17Speaker 01

  So you traveled with that? You got on a plane with the tape measure?

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. The guy sitting beside me, I was like, "Sir, I need your arm to be a foot and 3 inches. Do not touch me."

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  So that's okay, everyone has their quirks.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Sure, sure.

• 32:35H. Foley?

  So your sister's working at a diner?

• 32:37Speaker 03

  She's working at a diner, and who walks in? None other than Nellie Frittato. Do you know this one?

• 32:42H. Foley?

  I know exactly. I just saw a clip of hers yesterday.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:45H. Foley?

  That's so funny.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  This had to be recently, then.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Well, she's gotten big, yeah. Nellie's gotten big. And, uh, my-

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Geez.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  She, uh, my sister's, you know, she said-

• 32:59Speaker 01

  She's a foodie.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  She's a foodie, yeah. And, uh, she ordered a vanilla milkshake, and my sister was like, "We're out of ice cream." Like, we just, the shipment didn't come in. And, uh, she threw a hissy fit- And she goes, "I want a vanilla milkshake, B." She called her the, she said,

• 33:19Speaker 01

  Oh shit.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  She didn't even, she didn't even say that. She said, "Biosh."

• 33:22Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Like she said, "I want a vanilla milkshake, biosh." And my sister said, "We don't have, we don't have any milk." And she stood up and she goes, "I'll show you what milk is biosh." And she pulled her right thunder jug out and slapped my sister right across the face. And my sister came home with an areola mark on her cheek. Looked like she'd been stung by a jellyfish, but it was actually Nelly Furtado's giant areola.

• 33:48H. Foley?

  Now, would that keep you from listening to her music and passing that on from generation to generation? Never listened to Nelly Furtado?

• 33:54Speaker 01

  What is she, I'm like a bird?

• 33:55H. Foley?

  She slapped, slapped your aunt in the face?

• 33:56Speaker 03

  No, my sister. It actually-

• 33:59H. Foley?

  That would be, if it was the next generation, it would be their aunt.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  But it was my sister.

• 34:03H. Foley?

  No, I'm saying you would be telling the next generation of your family.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  This is my story, guy.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Hey buddy, this is the story I'm making up.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  But I started listening to her more because I didn't, I don't really like my sister.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  And she probably had that Furtado tit coming.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  I know, yeah, for sure.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Are you a Furt- Nelly Furtado fan?

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Is it, I'm, she's like, "I'm like a bird."

• 34:26H. Foley?

  I'm like a bird.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  I mean, that's a hit.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:27H. Foley?

  Came out 25 years ago this month.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:31H. Foley?

  I swear to God, I just saw-

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Fucking Johnny Billboard over here.

• 34:33H. Foley?

  It was, I, I saw a YouTube short yesterday of, of five songs that came out 25 years ago today.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:39H. Foley?

  And that was one of them.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  She's Greek.

• 34:42H. Foley?

  She is Greek.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:43H. Foley?

  K T two. Wow. Very cute.

• 34:47Speaker 01

  You guys in the fan club, the hell, you know all these random Furtado facts?

• 34:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:52H. Foley?

  She was a big star.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  Furtado, by the way, also a sex act in West Hollywood.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  I want you to-

• 34:58H. Foley?

  Invented by Harlan Williams.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. And the full act is a Nelly Furtado. If you ever want to do the full-

• 35:06H. Foley?

  Nelly Frappe.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 35:08H. Foley?

  Ah, the Greek, I'm tying it all in.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, you are.

• 35:11H. Foley?

  See? We're riffing here, Kippy.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Listen, I know, I'm with it. Um, all right, this one's from Augustus. Uh, "Do you think it's garbage or smart to fuse the last bit of an old bar of soap with a new bar?"

• 35:25Speaker 03

  That's sort of garbage.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  That's garbage.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  I respect it.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Soap is so cheap.

• 35:31Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Like, why go through all that stuff to fuse something together?

• 35:35Speaker 01

  Especially when you got a brand-new big one right there for you.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, that's science. That's how they create new species of trees, by the way. They actually fuse branches together and the DNA intertwines and they make like, you know, different types of fruit, you know, trees and all kinds of...

• 35:54H. Foley?

  So you end up with a dire wolf, huh?

• 35:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's sort of, you know, so you don't need to be...

• 35:59Speaker 01

  You've been on YouTube Shorts a lot, huh?

• 36:00Speaker 03

  You don't want to blend like Irish Spring with Dial, you know? Because in Ireland, that's a time bomb.

• 36:09H. Foley?

  That's Protestant shit, right?

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:11H. Foley?

  I assume you're not a bar man these days, right? I'm sure you're a, uh, some type of body wash?

• 36:18Speaker 01

  A liquid soap?

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I like both.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:22H. Foley?

  What is your proper disposal of the end of a bar of soap?

• 36:27Speaker 03

  When it's that little thing?

• 36:29H. Foley?

  There is a correct answer to this.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Turns into like wet paper.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  I just sort of throw it on the shower floor and press it into the drain.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  Really?

• 36:37Speaker 03

  I have a drain with all the little holes. Looks like Bryan Adams' face when he was 17. And I just...

• 36:43H. Foley?

  That's rude.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  That's a deep gut.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  It's, well, they're called...

• 36:46H. Foley?

  And a solid Canadian!

• 36:47Speaker 03

  They're called pockmarks. And what I do is I just press it in and then the water slowly dissolves it. And I hope it goes out to the sea and washes a dirty, fat, fucking bull shark. Because they're dirty.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  You better believe it, sister.

• 37:03H. Foley?

  The proper answer, the garbage answer.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:05H. Foley?

  See, again, why am I classy? That's, I don't know if that's classy, but that's not the trash answer. The trash answer is you take it and you put it in the toilet. That's what we always did.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  I don't think you should be flushing that.

• 37:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, you put it in the toilet and it disintegrates even more and you just flush it away. That's what my mom always did. It was always one sitting in there.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  She's a plumber, so you gotta listen to her.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  But what's the difference? Like, if you put it...

• 37:26Speaker 01

  It's going to the same place.

• 37:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, there's no difference.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:30H. Foley?

  It's just one happens to be trashier than the other.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  I might have to push back on that.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  You know, I don't think one's try- I don't- listen, they're, you know, I don't think the queen's doing either one of them.

• 37:40H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Uh, I think using your feet, you know, tends to be a little trashier.

• 37:46H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  But think of it-

• 37:48Speaker 01

  But I've done that in the past.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  What is the function of soap? To clean yourself.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  How often have you ever lifted your foot and washed the bottom of your foot?

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Never once.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  So for practical reasons, if you put it on the floor of the shower, in the- in its last act before it dissipates, you're actually using it for what it was made for. You're washing the bottom of your foot, whereas you're putting a chunk in the water of the toilet that has no practical purpose.

• 38:13H. Foley?

  I agree.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  So now that's even the classy answer.

• 38:16H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  I think we won that one.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  But that would stand as-

• 38:20Speaker 01

  I beat you by two feet.

• 38:21H. Foley?

  If that's- that stands to reason that you only wash your feet once every six months, because how often are you running out of soap?

• 38:27Speaker 01

  I mean, if you think a bar of soap lasts six months, I think that's our first problem. That's- that's a-

• 38:31H. Foley?

  You think less than six months?

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Significantly less than six months.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  And nobody washes the bottom of their feet. Have you ever stood in the shower and with- yeah, so-

• 38:40Speaker 01

  I would say elbows.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  So you're almost doing yourself a favor by stomping it into the bottom of the shower and you're washing your feet. You're- you're utilizing that product to the very, very end, which is-

• 38:53H. Foley?

  Which is classy, which is what I'm saying. I'm saying the trashier version is to put it in the toilet.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  Right.

• 38:58H. Foley?

  I don't know if you guys got confused.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Do you have how long a bar of soap lasts?

• 39:01Speaker 04

  About a month.

• 39:02H. Foley?

  About a month.

• 39:03Speaker 04

  That's what they're saying.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  You are six times dirtier than the rest of the Americans walking around.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  According to nine out of ten, Dennis.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  Wild. Kent, what do you know about Pesti?

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Oh, baby, I did it two weeks ago out of the burbs.

• 39:17H. Foley?

  Gang, it's the springtime and you got the bugs starting to come out of the woodwork. You know, they're hibernating in the winter. They start crawling around. There's spiders, ants. Everybody starts getting around. Do yourself a favor, get over to Pesti, pet-friendly, kid-friendly bug repellent, and take it from the bug man. He knows.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, with Pestis, do yourself pest control. You can protect your home easily and at a quarter of the cost. Other pest control companies charge over $800 a year, but with Pestis, you can get started at just 35 bucks per treatment with a customized plan based on your location, your bugs, and your climate.

• 39:47H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  They do it all. They look up, beep, boop, pop. This is where you're at. This is what it is. Bada bing, bada boom. Listen, my wife is, my wife got us on Pestis two years ago. I've been using it for two years, way before they even knew they were going to be a sponsor.

• 39:58H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  It's fantastic. You come over, you feel like, you feel like the bug man. It's, you're doing it all up. It's easy peasy. Um, I just did it, I'm not even more than, no more than two weeks ago, I was out in the burbs, John Q homeowner, taking care of my house, protecting my family and my dog from bugs.

• 40:15H. Foley?

  Safe for the kids, safe from the, for the dogs.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  And if you guys have pets out there, you know, that's the number one thing. Say you can't be dumping chemicals all over the house.

• 40:22H. Foley?

  No.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Um, so here it is, baby. Protect your home and, uh, protect your home from bugs with Pestis. Go to pestie.com slash AYG for an extra 10% off your order. That's pesti, P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash AYG for an extra 10% off.

• 40:35H. Foley?

  Do it. Get me Shopify.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Shopify, Shopify, Shopify.

• 40:39H. Foley?

  Shopify, Shopify. Shopify is right, gang. If you run a small business, you know, there's nothing small about it. It's a big deal.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 40:49H. Foley?

  All right. And if you want to run your business right, your online business, you gotta be using Shopify. It's just how things work. Everybody's using it. We're a Shopify family. We know we got a lot of hustlers out there, a lot of people doing side gigs and all that kind of stuff, that that's what they really want to be doing. Get linked up with Shopify and take your business to the next level.

• 41:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S.

• 41:13H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  From household names like Mattel and Jimm Shark to brands like us, AYG. We are Shopify company.

• 41:19H. Foley?

  That's big market share.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  It tackles all the important tasks in one place. Inventory, payments, analytics and everything, uh, makes marketing, uh, makes the marketing mine felt easy with built-in tools, running social media, email campaigns, the whole nine yards. Uh, with over, with 99.99% uptime and the best converting checkout on the planet. You'll never miss a sale again, only with Shopify. Uh, is if in person is more your thing, Shopify, award-winning. Point of sale connects your online and offline sales all in one place. We use it on the road. If you buy a t-shirt on the road, bada bing, it's all through Shopify.

• 41:50H. Foley?

  Look at that.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Uh, here's the turkey. Get all the big stuff from your small business, um, with Shopify. Sign up for the $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/garbage. Go to Shopify.com/garbage. Shopify.com/garbage. Do it. Shopify, the back to the show. All right, let's see here. Uh, this is from Turd Ferguson. Do you know anybody or have you ever been sprayed by a skunk?

• 42:13Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I've, I've been, uh, close. I've been around a lot of skunks in my life.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Where at? In your travels or?

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I used to, I mean, I spent a lot of time in nature and even in, in LA, there's a ton of skunks.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Really?

• 42:29Speaker 03

  I was sitting in my living room one night watching TV and one came running. I, I used to leave the door open in the summer. One came running right in. I'm laying on my couch, got about halfway to me and it just went, "Hey!" And he turned around and ran back out.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  Freaked out.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  But they're an amazing animal because you know, every other animal in the animal kingdom has some kind of defense. Claws or fangs or, or teeth and, and this is the only animal in the animal kingdom has a, has main line of defense shoots ass sauce.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  It's like, it's just like ass Gatorade.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, just all over you.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like it turns around, shows you its calamari ring.

• 43:09H. Foley?

  Which other than that, they're cute as a button. They're adorable.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  Some people have them as pets. They get them de-scented, de-glanded, yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  We had a, we had a family of them living underneath our house for a long time and it was, it was bad.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, they, that.

• 43:23H. Foley?

  Couldn't get rid of them.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that odor is just incredible.

• 43:27H. Foley?

  Tried to cover it up with mothballs. It was bad. It's like somebody died in the house.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 43:32H. Foley?

  It was the 80s. What are you gonna do?

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  It was a wild time.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:35H. Foley?

  Rough time.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Uh, all right, let's see. This one's from Cameron, uh, $10 homie. Uh, let's see. Are you garbage if you grew up eating ketchup on everything? Cheetos, steak, corn, everything?

• 43:48Speaker 03

  Well, I grew up in Canada and we actually had ketchup flavored potato chips.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  Right. Very, we, we discovered them on this show.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we didn't have to kind of dip stuff into it. A lot of our food products.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Is infused.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Already had it, yeah, but um, yeah, I think you can overdo it. It's like scrambled eggs, french fries, grilled cheese, and not much else.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  I think if you do it and on anything else, you're a piece of garbage.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Sure. Do you keep it in the house?

• 44:18Speaker 03

  The ketchup?

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Do you, do you constantly have it in the fridge?

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:24H. Foley?

  Ketchup man?

• 44:25Speaker 01

  We doing Heinz, you doing Hunts, you doing?

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Heinz.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  Heinz.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Heinz, yeah. There's that little, um, people don't know this a lot of the time, but there, there's this little, on the glass bottles of it.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  They've got the 57.

• 44:39H. Foley?

  Tap the 57s.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  And you, you hit the 57 and it, that's what knocks it out.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  That was, uh, when I learned that, you, you're like supposed to spin it and there's like little 57s in it. Do you know this?

• 44:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, I know, of course.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Tap the 57s. I learned that as like a 12-year-old and man, blew my fucking mind.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  You ever do that when you're doing the 69 position?

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Tap the 69s.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Hit your partner on the hip? Boy, it gets messy.

• 45:01H. Foley?

  She throws up on ya?

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Well.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Hits her with her glands real quick.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  You decide.

• 45:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, I haven't touched your Coke or your, your.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Let's crack that sucker open.

• 45:14H. Foley?

  Whoa, that was a, that was good effervescent.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's pretty good.

• 45:20H. Foley?

  You know, you gotta watch. You're a California man. You're not gonna be able to get that out there.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  What?

• 45:25H. Foley?

  Cause they're taking, you're not allowed to have the, uh, the dyes in them anymore.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Is that right?

• 45:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, they're gonna start making them the way they do in Europe.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Well, what else is gonna make you die faster than, that's a nice dye.

• 45:35H. Foley?

  Figure something out.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Got our best guys on it.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. Wow, that's sad.

• 45:41H. Foley?

  Yeah. It'll probably be just as good.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  It's like salmon. They say most salmon, farmed salmon is, is white. It's, it's like they, they add the pink coloring. So you're supposed to buy.

• 45:52H. Foley?

  Wild.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Wild-caught salmon.

• 45:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  But the farm stuff is, is just like a bland color, like sort of like this coffee cup.

• 46:00H. Foley?

  And it's actually theoretically, if you wanna get technical.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  I do.

• 46:03H. Foley?

  From my server experience, it's not really salmon, it's trout.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 46:09H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Lucas, get eyes on that.

• 46:11H. Foley?

  Go ahead.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm just saying I've never heard of that.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  The farmed salmon is salmon. I've seen the salmon farms.

• 46:17H. Foley?

  Luke? You're talking about the salmon farms in Scotland?

• 46:21Speaker 03

  No, like off the coast of Alaska and British Columbia. They're, they're like Koho salmon.

• 46:27H. Foley?

  With the, with the, with the tents around them, with the things around them.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Huge giant pools, yeah.

• 46:31H. Foley?

  That might be real salmon.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  There's, because they're saltwater trout are, are freshwater fish.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  A lot of the salmon on the, am I right?

• 46:38Speaker 04

  You're wrong.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  Oh, ha, what do you have? He don't know.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  Did he mix any factor? You find it anything that he's basing this off of?

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Uh, there's a term salmon trout because trout are freshwater and will sometimes be in the fords, but you're wrong.

• 46:53H. Foley?

  How am I wrong?

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  Because salmon and trout are different.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:57H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  I'm a fisherman, so you can't, can't get a-

• 47:00H. Foley?

  We're cutting this anyway. I'm winning, I'll tell you that.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  Why don't you fillet it instead?

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Get Freddy Krueger over here.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  You can't get around me with any fish stuff.

• 47:09H. Foley?

  Hold on, wait.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Are you a big fisherman?

• 47:11Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 47:12H. Foley?

  Salmon trout. So what does that mean?

• 47:14Speaker 03

  That's a species.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:16H. Foley?

  A species of salmon?

• 47:18Speaker 03

  It's a salmon, it's probably a trout. If it's freshwater, it's a trout.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  It refer, yeah, it's a salmon trout, which is a trout.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Which is a kind of trout.

• 47:26H. Foley?

  So I'm saying they pass that off as salmon, is what I'm saying.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  No, but I guess technically because it's got both names, you could go to a restaurant, "Oh, enjoy the salmon trout." Like that they just say it.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  It's confusing to people like you.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Well, you're gonna hear about that in the weekly meeting. Do they serve salmon trout?

• 47:46H. Foley?

  Yes. Is, is salmon trout farmed, raised and served at restaurants passed off as salmon?

• 47:52Speaker 03

  Not likely. They only, they only farm the, the fish that are in high demand, like catfish, salmon, things like that. Oh yeah, catfish are harvested. They, they have huge catfish farms in, in Asia.

• 48:06H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  That I didn't know.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, yeah, and salmon, they have lots of, uh-

• 48:11H. Foley?

  Have you ever been canoodling?

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Noodling.

• 48:15H. Foley?

  Have you done that?

• 48:15Speaker 03

  I haven't done it, but I wrote a movie about it and we're waiting to get funding for it. Really? Yeah, yeah. I wrote a movie for me and Kirk Fox. Ah, I like Kirk Fox.

• 48:26H. Foley?

  Love that Kirk Fox.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  So we were actually just waiting to find out about getting the funding for a movie called Noodlers. Cause I, I'm fascinated. It's a form of fishing where you use your arm to catch 50, 60 pound catfish in the muddy rivers. It's only legal in 16 states. They show chicks doing it too, like hot chicks. Yeah, women do it. Yeah. And you have to have a spotter because the fish are so big. You're standing in the river, the fish can get so big they can actually pull you under. Uh, catfish don't have traditional teeth. They have little, it's almost like sandpaper. They have little like little nubs, these rough little things to grip. So when, when they, they dig these big cavernous caves in the banks of the muddy rivers

• 49:11Speaker 03

  and, and the noodlers walk along and they find, and they put their arm in. And traditionally these caves is where the, the catfish, um, um, deliver their babies. And so as a protective measure, they lash out and they engulf the arm. And you have to pull these catfish up. I would freak out. With your arm on, yeah.

• 49:33H. Foley?

  Can't they slap you too? I thought catfish can hit you with their tail.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. I mean, if they, if, if you lifted them up, any fish could do that. But fat catfish also in their, in their side fins, the front of their fin is a bone. It's almost like, it's like a, like a needle.

• 49:48H. Foley?

  Oh, okay.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  So that's, that can cut you and hurt you.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  That was always when you were kids fishing, we'd catch a catfish. It's like, be careful. Go through your hand. I know it got wally. It went through his hand, straight through.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. And everyone thought it was the whiskers, but it was the front of those fins. Yeah. But they're a delicious fish to eat.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Now, how do you, as a, as a noodling expert yourself, how do they know, do they know it's in that hole at the time? Or are they just reaching? Cause it's, I've seen some where they go, there's one in here. How do they know? Do they reach in and poke around?

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Well, usually the water's muddy, so they're just feeling around. They, they get a sense of it. And then they, they kind of feel the hole and. You know, they have to guess like any form of fishing, but.

• 50:26H. Foley?

  Imagine sticking your hand in there, that'd fucking bug me out.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, it'd be pretty weird and you're, you gotta remember you're talking about waters that are, you know, filled with snakes, water moccasins, some cases alligators. Yeah, so it's, it's a pretty fascinating form of fishing, yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  What's, uh, are you, do you prefer freshwater or saltwater?

• 50:46Speaker 03

  Uh, I like both.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Are you a salmon man or a salmon trout man?

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I like both. I've fished for salmon. I've fished for, you know, giant king salmon and I went, I went fishing with Henry, salmon fishing with Henry Winkler once, believe it or not.

• 51:01H. Foley?

  No kidding, the Fonz?

• 51:02Speaker 03

  The Fonz and then, um, I also have fly fished. I love fly fishing. That's a whole different, kind of, it's all in the wrist. It's a whole different way of fishing. It's a great form of fishing because you're in the fish's element. You're, you're standing in their world in the water. So you feel the energy of the water. And when you hit that fish, you're really connecting. There's a real serenity to it. It's like that movie, um, that Robert Redford Brad Pitt movie.

• 51:32H. Foley?

  A River Runs Through It.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, they kind of.

• 51:34H. Foley?

  Norman McLean.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, they sort of in the beginning of that movie and at the end, they bookend it with the serenity and, and the connectivity with nature when you fly fish. It's a whole different level of, I recommend it to anyone. It's very, it's quite a beautiful experience and.

• 51:50H. Foley?

  Great movie too, by the way.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, for the most part, you, you normally do catch and release with, with a, when you're fly fishing and you use really small little hooks so that the fish have a much more, uh, higher percentage of escaping. It's a real sort of like a, no barbs. It's sort of like the gentleman's form of fishing, but it's, uh, there's a real connectivity to it.

• 52:12H. Foley?

  See, classy guy. Classy guy. I gotta give it a try. Spider's Three Sodas. What'd you find out about the salmon trout?

• 52:18Speaker 04

  They're different. Same thing.

• 52:20H. Foley?

  Restaurants aren't serving it saying it's salmon?

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Restaurants are serving it. Uh, salmon trout's actually more expensive.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  I don't think they're serving it as salmon, though. I mean, I did a quick, I could be wrong, I'm sure some places might be. But as a whole, it's, I don't think they're bamboozling us as you, uh...

• 52:35H. Foley?

  I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Well, there's also a speckled trout, there's saltwater trout, too. There's a speckled trout in the Gulf of Mexico called speckled trout. But there's also a freshwater speckled trout.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  Gulf of America.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Freshwater, yeah, Gulf of America, freshwater bass and saltwater bass. So there, there is crossover, but...

• 52:53H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Salmon is traditionally saltwater, but when they spawn...

• 52:58H. Foley?

  They swim to the stream.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  They go into freshwater.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  Tributaries.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  By the way, what a way to mate, too. They just like slide up beside their girl, they flap around, they ejaculate, and then take off.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  You've never seen me do it, I guess.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Humans did that, my god. Subway would be... Be immense.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Luke Lobster all over the place.

• 53:18H. Foley?

  Not to mention the lawsuits, Jesus Christ.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this one's from Josh, and that you're a soda, soda man, well documented. Uh, say you're on a plane, right? They give you the can, you dung a couple times, they'll come over, they'll give you the can.

• 53:31H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, pause that real quick, I'm sorry. When you do get a...

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Salmon trout.

• 53:37H. Foley?

  I'm proving myself right on that. When you do get a soda on the plane, do you say, "Give me a glass with ice and the can"? Or do you accept just the, the cup of it?

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Uh, they usually ask, I don't go out of my way, so I'll just, whatever they offer up.

• 53:52H. Foley?

  Really?

• 53:52Speaker 03

  I'll say, "Yeah, give me the can," or if they don't, I'll just... Cause you're trapped on a plane, so you can dung them all day long, right?

• 53:58H. Foley?

  Very true. I always say, "Give me the, give me this can." I thought a soda man like you would say, "Give me a glass with ice and the whole can."

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Well, the only problem is when you're on a plan, a plane, it's precarious and it's always... So the more things of liquid around you, the more chance of a spill or an accident. So I just kinda go with the flow.

• 54:16H. Foley?

  I want the whole can.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can dung whenever you want, my god.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  Dunk them up, baby.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, dung it.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Uh, now, let's, okay, let's say you, you get the small little, you know, like rocks glass they give ya. There's few ice cubes in there, you're enjoying your Coke, your Sunkist, your whatever Diet Dr.

• 54:31H. Foley?

  No Sunkist on a plane.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  When Harland's flying, they give it to them. They got it in the cockpit, they don't give it to the fuselage.

• 54:36Speaker 03

  If they fly too high, there's some Sunkist.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Will you try to get the ice out of the bottom of the cup?

• 54:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  And will you chew it? No.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  I don't trust.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  You're anti-ice.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  Well, on an airplane, I'm very, I know it's probably a bit of a phobia, but it's like, I don't trust.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  The ice.

• 54:55H. Foley?

  The ice.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  Just like I don't, I would never drink the water in the bathroom on a plane.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  It's like, so I sometimes.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Are people doing that?

• 55:02Speaker 03

  I don't know, but I always associate the ice with it.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  I understand.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  It's not normal water.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  It's like gray water.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  It probably is normal, but I've just got it in my head. It's like, I'll tolerate it in my drink, but I ain't chewing it. But it's probably perfectly fine, but I just got it in my head.

• 55:17H. Foley?

  It is. I've seen them loading it. They're regular bags of ice.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 55:20H. Foley?

  They're not making it on the plane.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  But they're not disinfecting that container every, you know, between Cleveland and Pittsburgh.

• 55:24H. Foley?

  No, I agree.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  I agree. They're not making ice on the plane?

• 55:29Speaker 01

  The energy of the gas alone will kill you.

• 55:31H. Foley?

  That's what I thought. I've been telling you a couple of years ago.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Is that what you're telling me, sir? They're not making ice on the plane? How dare you?

• 55:38H. Foley?

  Salmon trout. Get out of here.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Goldfish shark, you idiot.

• 55:44H. Foley?

  It's all trout. What are you talking about?

• 55:50Speaker 03

  Good lord.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Uh, we got a goofy one.

• 55:52H. Foley?

  What was the question?

• 55:53Speaker 01

  Uh, well, will you take the, will you, this was, will you start eating the ice out of the bottom of your soda cup at dinner? Or even more trashy, which I caught myself doing last week, will you pick the bits of bread off the table? Or like on the plate? Like if you're done and your plate's sitting there?

• 56:07H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  And there's a couple of crumbs of bread, like bigger crumbs of bread? Will you like? I'll put my finger on it and take it.

• 56:13H. Foley?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  I doubt Mr. Williams is doing that at Spago.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  No, no. I don't do the crumb thing.

• 56:21H. Foley?

  In a regular, in a regular setting.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  You're talking to two foodies here.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  What am I, a chickadee for god's sake? By the way, chickadee, how egotistical are they?

• 56:29Speaker 01

  I'm not even sure I know what that is.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  It's a little bird and their call is chickadee-dee. They say their own name. Like how stuck up, I think the whippoorwill is the only other bird that's so.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  What's the whippoorwill?

• 56:40Speaker 03

  There are another bird that says they chirp, they go, whippoorwill, whippoorwill.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  See, I grew up with a Will Whopper. That's odd.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 56:47H. Foley?

  Who's Will Whopper?

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's going, what's going on in your basement? Holy god.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Little freak.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Turning into Harland over here.

• 56:54Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 56:55H. Foley?

  I was gonna ask you, in a non-airplane ice setting.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:58H. Foley?

  All right, say you're at submarine. They make their own ice.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Sir, salmon trout, nine o'clock.

• 57:10H. Foley?

  Salmon trout, ten ahead, sir.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Dude, he immediately fell into that. That's the first second of submarine.

• 57:20H. Foley?

  Have you ever played a, a, a radio man on a submarine?

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did a movie called Down Periscope.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Are you fucking with him?

• 57:26H. Foley?

  He was, right?

• 57:26Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 57:27H. Foley?

  That's so crazy.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  I'm like, are you, first of all, what a specific answer.

• 57:32H. Foley?

  That's so crazy. That, that's like in my, in my brain.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  I played a character named Sonar. Yeah. I was the Sonar Man in Down Periscope.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  And he made the same, you know, like that bird named after this noise that he makes.

• 57:45H. Foley?

  Ah, that's so funny.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  You've never heard of a chickadee or a whippoorwill?

• 57:48Speaker 01

  I'm not a big, uh, bird man. What do they call, what's a bird? An op-optomolid? No. What's it, why are you looking at me fucking? You got the computer.

• 57:56H. Foley?

  Aeronology.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Well, they're the two birds where their, their name is their chirp. Like chickadee goes, "Chickadee, dee, dee", and whippoorwill goes, "Whippoorwill, whippoorwill."

• 58:07H. Foley?

  Very self-absorbed.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  But there's no other, yeah, they're very egotistical, yeah.

• 58:11H. Foley?

  You don't have an owl calling itself "who"?

• 58:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 58:14H. Foley?

  Ah?

• 58:14Speaker 03

  Unless it's a doctor owl.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Couple of ornithologists. Ornithologists. Yes.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  Thank you, Tim.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  But anyways, it's odd.

• 58:24H. Foley?

  Back to the ice question.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, sorry.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  You're at the house, you're at an ice restaurant, you're at the Palm, you and Henry Winkler.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  We saw Henry Winkler at the Shenandoah Farmers Market.

• 58:34H. Foley?

  At the Brentwood Market.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Brentwood Market.

• 58:35H. Foley?

  We've seen Henry Winkler.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Or Hollywood.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Saw him eating chicken fingers.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  Actually, saw him at a diner in Austin.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  Got a lot of friends in Bakersfield, too.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Chicken fing-finger, chicken fing-finger.

• 58:46H. Foley?

  We've seen Henry Winkler twice in the wild for some reason. We saw him once in Austin.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Or Winklerologist.

• 58:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Wow, get the Sharpay.

• 58:54H. Foley?

  And we saw him at the Brentwood market. Seems like a lovely gentleman.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, he's super nice.

• 58:57H. Foley?

  And I'm 49 years old. When I was a kid, the Fonz, forget about it.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  I mean, he was everything to me.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 59:04H. Foley?

  Um, so let's say you're over at Henry Winkler's house and you're having a soda. Or anywhere non-airplane ice where you have a phobia about it. Are you the kind of guy that will take a sip and if a piece of, if an ice cube gets in your mouth, will you spit it back into the cup? Are you okay with that?

• 59:22Speaker 01

  You might run a tight ship.

• 59:23H. Foley?

  You get what I'm saying?

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  I might. I mean, that's something I probably would have never, have never really thought about.

• 59:29H. Foley?

  Really? Welcome to the show.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, I don't, I don't traditionally like eat the ice out of a cup or when, when I'm done, I just let the ice melt.

• 59:38H. Foley?

  That's it.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  I can't help myself.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Return to its original form.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  I do it in first class and the people across the aisle.

• 59:43H. Foley?

  Ice chewing's real trash.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  I had a buddy I'd go to movies with and he'd chew the ice through the movie and I just like wanted to put him through the wall. Yeah. Sounds like someone digging up ribs at Forest Lawn graveyard in the middle of the night.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  That's not right. That's a deep cut.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Idiot.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Uh, all right. Let's see here. Um, this one's from, uh, Great Griffin. Uh, are you garbage if you use green spray paint on your lawn to cover up your dog's pee stains?

• 1:00:12H. Foley?

  Come on.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  That's pretty classy, I feel. I don't think it's classy. I think you're, you're concerned about the, the looks of it and that's probably the quickest fix to it.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's practical.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. So if you're just looking for a quick cosmetic fix, why not? I mean, I know bald guys that'll spray the back of their head.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  I don't know why you looked at me during that.

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  After their dogs piss on them. You got grass out at the house?

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37H. Foley?

  You got a front yard with grass?

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39H. Foley?

  Nice?

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, real nice.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  You got ice at the house?

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  I got ice, yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  You got an ice maker? You living on a plane?

• 1:00:44H. Foley?

  Do you have an actual ice maker? I assume you do.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  I actually have a Cybertruck. You hit the horn and crushed ice comes out. Yeah.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  I didn't know they had that feature.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. Stainless steel fridges on wheels.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  If they're market mods.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  I vandalized a Cybertruck the other day. I threw fridge magnets on it. Put a shh.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Put a shopping list under the windshield wiper.

• 1:01:08H. Foley?

  That's alright, that's a good piece of business, right?

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  We gotta wrap it up, unfortunately, yeah.

• 1:01:14H. Foley?

  Man, guys, one of our absolute favorites.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  Wacky.

• 1:01:17H. Foley?

  Mr. Harland Williams. Still classy, baby.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:01:21H. Foley?

  You're class all the way.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. crazier than ever.

• 1:01:23H. Foley?

  This is gonna come right out. Anything you want the folks to know? You got anything coming up?

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  Uh, yes, I got, uh, when's it coming out?

• 1:01:31H. Foley?

  Comes out on, um, two days.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Okay, so if you're in the Toronto area, on, uh, May 9th, we're doing a sneak screening of my brand-new movie that I wrote and directed called Wingman.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  And you can come to this, uh, sneak screening if you go to my website, harlandwilliams.com, and get tickets. It's gonna be the first time the movie's seen anywhere.

• 1:01:53H. Foley?

  That's awesome. We didn't know about this.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  Yes, thank you. And then, uh, Jamie Kennedy's in it, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace.

• 1:01:59H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  From, uh, Landman, and, and then, uh, my podcast, The Harland Highway Podcast, every Tuesday. And you guys are in, uh, LA, you gotta come be on it.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, we'll be out there, maybe, making a run, yeah.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  Oh, good, I'd love to have you, yeah.

• 1:02:13H. Foley?

  Is that, are you just doing a screening of the movie? Is this just like, uh, just, is it going in theaters?

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Uh, well, we're just, we just finished it, so we're gonna go out and sell it, but we wanted to do a sneak screening, just to, you know, let people have a, yeah.

• 1:02:26H. Foley?

  I love that. Wingman.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  Wingman, it's about a, uh, a demented wingman that helps, uh, dudes, uh, find and meet girls, so.

• 1:02:34H. Foley?

  It's always working. One of the best. Harland Williams, everybody. We love you, buddy. Thank you so much for coming in. Kippy, what do you got for him?

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Uh, guys, we're announcing our fall tour dates very soon. Check them out. Check out the Route 66 special on the YouTube page, if you have not, and, uh, the decks of cards, the AYG card game, uh, brand-new 2005 edition on our website, reagobage.com. Check it out.

• 1:02:54H. Foley?

  Harland, we love you, gang.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, thank you.

• 1:02:56H. Foley?

  We love you. We'll see you next week.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Chickadee, dee, dee, dee.

• 1:02:59H. Foley?

  Peace.