Big & Tall Boys w/ Kippy & Foley!

Are You Garbage is back and the boys went shopping! We're talking DXL mannequins, Hotpot and answering your garbage questions! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/ayg Promo Code: AYG Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:26H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out they're good to be classy.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:30H. Foley?

  Or just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Trash.

• 0:33H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. I didn't get much sleep last night.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:39H. Foley?

  I heard that goddamn headboard in her room going all night.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:43H. Foley?

  It's like the White Stripes were in there. I don't know who's in town, but they're bringing-

• 0:46Speaker 02

  The Seven Nation Army was in there.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  Bringing the heat. Talk about boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's neither here nor there. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode here at Aunt Toody's. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. And he is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Just a couple of guys wearing our new jackets. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. And obviously now I'm being told I gotta say Spotify as well. Check us out there over on Spotify. Full video available on YouTube. And obviously, the greatest website of all time.

• 1:27H. Foley?

  Tell them, KJ.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  I mean, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content. I did, I crunched them numbers. I was in the lab crunching some numbers.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  Sure, got the calculator out?

• 1:37Speaker 02

  With hard feelings and the bonus episodes, there's over 400 hours of content.

• 1:43H. Foley?

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  That's a lot of freaking content.

• 1:46H. Foley?

  That's just in time for the holidays, too. Share it with the family.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Also now Patreon, they send me emails from time to time. I don't always listen, you know what I mean?

• 1:55H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Well, you can now gift, I think you can gift people memberships.

• 1:58H. Foley?

  Oh, that's lovely.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Just in time for the holiday season.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  It's like the new McDonald's gift card. Back in the day, they were the best. Get one of those.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  You would get McDonald's gift cards?

• 2:06H. Foley?

  Sure, some people would.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Really?

• 2:08H. Foley?

  I wouldn't get it for my parents.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  That's half-used. There's about a McMuffin left on there.

• 2:13H. Foley?

  Santa Claus would leave them.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  Really?

• 2:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, and the stocking stuffer.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  You're get- okay. At what age?

• 2:20H. Foley?

  I don't know, six, eight, when they were popping.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  Okay. That's weird, a six-year-old gets a gift card and goes and buys his own lunch?

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  That's wild. Why don't you take the bus there?

• 2:30H. Foley?

  Some hard candy and a bus token.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  If I wanted to go and hang out with the older guys, smoke cigarettes, drink coffee like these two back in the day.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:39H. Foley?

  You know? You liking this?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I made- I let- yeah, there's a- we- me, I took the big man shopping.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  My shacket.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Took the big man shopping last week.

• 2:47H. Foley?

  If- you don't think- I'm gonna tell you something right now, get used to this motherfucker. It's the goddamn Brooks Brothers. He got me buying the good shit over there. I'm a Harbor Bay Oak Hill man. He's pointing out fucking, uh, Flaherty t-shirt, or, uh... Farady. Yeah, Farady fucking pants. Like, $200.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  That's a lot of- a lot of fabric.

• 3:10H. Foley?

  I'm fucked out.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Dude, by the way-

• 3:11H. Foley?

  Just like gonna rip the crotch in a couple of weeks?

• 3:13Speaker 02

  The- the mannequins at a fucking DXL look like the offensive line to the Saints.

• 3:19H. Foley?

  You know the boys?

• 3:20Speaker 02

  It's crazy, dude. I- I mean-

• 3:22H. Foley?

  If you're referring to the Iron Curtain.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  It looks like- it looks like they all grew up at Chernobyl. It's fucking- they're all odd-shaped and like- I mean, I get it. It's good that the plus-size guys have that-

• 3:33H. Foley?

  That's who you're selling it to.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 3:35H. Foley?

  They're fucking some skinny mini in there. I want- I want the real feel. I wanna know what it's gonna look like.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Every-

• 3:41H. Foley?

  I'm a portly gentleman.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Everything's got stains on it in there. That one came, you're like, "There's a stain here on this one, and a stain on this one." What one's better? There's a bunch of greasy fingers flipping through fucking clothes in there.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  Oh, I didn't think about that. That's probably what it is.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  That's the only store with a fucking bring-your-own-food policy.

• 4:00H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ, the mannequins all holding chicken nuggets and shit.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  You gotta see what it looks like in real life, you know what I mean?

• 4:06H. Foley?

  Speaking of eating, um- I wanted to run this by you.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  Okay, so it's the, you know, it's the cold season, it's getting chilly, all that kinda stuff.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Speaking of chilly.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  I love, I love the-

• 4:19H. Foley?

  I like a Texas chili.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  I love the way you can spin something just based on an, or it's, you know, it's, it's getting cold.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  Well, me and the broad, when it, when it gets, when it gets cold outside, we like to do a little pho. Like do a little hot pot. Talked about hot pot before.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 4:33H. Foley?

  You know hot pot?

• 4:34Speaker 02

  I'm not super familiar, if I'm being honest with you.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Lucas? I've only done it once.

• 4:38H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:39H. Foley?

  Somebody's birthday?

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Is it like a cauldron of stuff? That's what I picture.

• 4:44H. Foley?

  Eye of newt? Little salamander. It's, um, it's similar to Korean barbecue, but instead of the grill, they have, uh, like a, like a broth.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:55H. Foley?

  And then you purchase like vegetables, some mushrooms, pumpkin's really good, uh, potatoes.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  I like how you're starting off with all the healthy stuff.

• 5:03H. Foley?

  All the starches.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Couple of Oreos.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  Deep fry them in there. Um, and you could do two, you get like a normal one, and you do, uh, like a, like a spicy one.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:13H. Foley?

  Which is good for the, you know, good for the-

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Sure, whatever, yeah, whatever.

• 5:16H. Foley?

  Congestion.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Whatever.

• 5:17H. Foley?

  All that stuff. And you pick your meat. You do your pork, you do your ribeye, and they, they're like, they're like sliced and rolled up. So you take your chopsticks, you dip it in there, you cook it, then they have the little sauce tray. Get all the sauces, dip it in there.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  It's really good, but that's neither here nor there.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Okay, now I don't know why you told us.

• 5:36H. Foley?

  I would do a little hot pot.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:38H. Foley?

  And at the end of the meal, instead of like mince or whatever-

• 5:43Speaker 02

  You drink the soup? You fucking, you bong it?

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Do you do that? Like you were finishing ramen?

• 5:52H. Foley?

  No, you know what you do, speaking of which, you get a cut, you get a thing of ramen noodles and throw them in there.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  They give them to you?

• 5:59H. Foley?

  No, you gotta pay for it.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Take it home?

• 6:01H. Foley?

  No.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  But they have them there?

• 6:03H. Foley?

  They have them there, you order them. So at the end, after all the stuff has been in there, and it's all mixed in and all the flavors, you throw in a, you throw in a, a thing of ramen noodles, and you crush that real quick.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  I don't know if I'm ever gonna-

• 6:14H. Foley?

  Real good.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Ever be in a position to go to a place where I make my own soup. It's just not-

• 6:18H. Foley?

  You're not making your own soup, the soup's there.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  That's, I mean-

• 6:21H. Foley?

  It's a good time.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  You're buying the stuff, you're adding it in.

• 6:24H. Foley?

  Well, let me see if this sells you on it.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Sounds a lot like making your own hooch in jail. I'm not in the clink, pal, I got my goddamn freedoms. I'll, I'll just go to a ramen spot.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Sure, you could do that. Or you go to this place.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Eating like the hobos under the bridge. That's what bums do for Thanksgiving. They get a big pot going and then they all meet. I get a stew going, baby.

• 6:44H. Foley?

  Speaking of which, you know the guy, the Outdoor Boys?

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Big fan.

• 6:47H. Foley?

  His name's Luke, right?

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:48H. Foley?

  Man, when that guy makes a fucking stew in the middle of the Arctic. Woo, that looks good as shit.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  That guy needs friends. I mean, I like his stuff, but he's got a...

• 6:57Speaker 03

  He's got his kids.

• 6:58H. Foley?

  His bread always gets me too, when he hits the...

• 7:00Speaker 03

  The honey butter bread?

• 7:01H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  Game over.

• 7:04H. Foley?

  I'll lose a foot for that. That looks delicious. I mean, he's out there buying. He's even got no shotgun or nothing.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Have you seen when he brings his like, two-year-old kid out there with him?

• 7:14H. Foley?

  His kids are fucking hard as nails.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 7:16H. Foley?

  I put that on when I go to sleep, when he gets inside the hot tent.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  So cozy.

• 7:20H. Foley?

  After a nice bowl of lamb soup or whatever he's got.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Shout out Luke.

• 7:24H. Foley?

  Out there eating gopher. Looks good. Anyway.

• 7:28H. Foley?

  They hit you with the check. They give you the check, this place that we went to.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  That's in the soup. You gotta cook that up a little bit.

• 7:34H. Foley?

  That up. Two sticks of gum.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Very nice.

• 7:39H. Foley?

  Buddy.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  What kind?

• 7:40H. Foley?

  Wrigley's.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  What?

• 7:42H. Foley?

  I'm telling you right now.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Double men or the juicy fruit?

• 7:45H. Foley?

  No, juicy fruit would have been nice, but they got the Chinese lollipops up front. Yeah. They give you, hit you with two sticks of spearmen. Two, just two nice sticks.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  That's alright.

• 7:56H. Foley?

  See what I'm saying?

• 7:58Speaker 02

  That's class. That's pretty good.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  Forget about the mints or the fucking, you know, whatever.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Give me a stick of chaw.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  Sure. A stick of gum.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 8:08H. Foley?

  It's pretty good.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Wow, why aren't more people doing that?

• 8:10H. Foley?

  Dude, everybody should be doing it. That's what I'm saying. You go, you wash your hands, you wash your face. Clean up any stains with the stain stick. You come out, you fill out your thing.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  You wash your face after you eat?

• 8:21H. Foley?

  I get it everywhere.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  You're blowing bubbles in there.

• 8:24H. Foley?

  I get it everywhere. I, yeah.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:27H. Foley?

  I usually have to include the price of the t-shirt when I do hot pot or ramen.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Do you dip on that or no?

• 8:34Speaker 02

  This is a Brooks Brothers shirt.

• 8:36H. Foley?

  I wore this in there that night.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  You take that off?

• 8:39H. Foley?

  Oh, took it off.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:40H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  How many days, so you bought that Friday? How many days?

• 8:44H. Foley?

  Friday.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  How many days have you worn that?

• 8:46H. Foley?

  Wore it Friday, Saturday.

• 8:49H. Foley?

  Uh, Sunday, I think we ran for the store.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Probably threw it on.

• 8:53H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 8:54H. Foley?

  My shack it.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Gotta show off the new thread.

• 8:57H. Foley?

  What you doing here? Come on, let them know the spring collection's in.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  So you've worn it almost every day since you've bought it, give or take?

• 9:03H. Foley?

  I've worn it every day.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 9:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:06H. Foley?

  And, yeah.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  It looks good.

• 9:07H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  You fought me on it.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Kicking and screaming. You wanted to button it, by the way.

• 9:12H. Foley?

  I'm not a Brooks Brothers guy.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  I really...

• 9:15H. Foley?

  I told you.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  I really laughed to myself because you went into this...

• 9:17H. Foley?

  I'm an O'Neil's fall collection.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  You went into this...

• 9:19H. Foley?

  They're not gonna go in the water series. More of a beach guy.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  For sweating.

• 9:25H. Foley?

  Who's O'Neil? What are they doing?

• 9:27Speaker 02

  They've been banging for a long time.

• 9:29H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, it made me laugh to myself at one point. You walked into the gr... I was almost going to go to the green room. You walk into the dressing room.

• 9:38H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  And then turn back around, you're like, "Excuse me?" And in my head, I've had you asking for like barbecue sauce or something. I hear that.

• 9:44H. Foley?

  You have any wet ones?

• 9:44Speaker 02

  It was very, it was very how you would ask, like how I know you to ask a waiter for something?

• 9:49H. Foley?

  That's my guy over there, by the way. The guy with the dark hair.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 9:52H. Foley?

  He's kinda like the manager.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 9:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, we've been... Did you see me get shot down on the rewards program?

• 9:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  He said I had nothing. Put my number in, came back fucking zero.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 10:02H. Foley?

  I know I got something cooking in. I'm fucking dropping dimes in that place. I go through this shit like...

• 10:07Speaker 02

  They, I gotta be honest with you, they got some nice gear for the bigger fellas. I wish there was like a, I, I wish there was a DXL for guys who were like XL. Does that make sense? Where like, I'm not competing with the smalls and the mediums. Something a little like, you know, I don't know. Maybe a BXL or something like that.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  No room for you over there.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  I know.

• 10:28H. Foley?

  So you get H and M, porky.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  I mean, they start at what? 2, 3X?

• 10:31H. Foley?

  I think they could get an...

• 10:32Speaker 02

  And they're, they're, I mean, they're...

• 10:33H. Foley?

  You can get an XL. This is a 2X.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  That's the lesson.

• 10:36H. Foley?

  This is 2X.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  I love...

• 10:38H. Foley?

  This is 2X.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  That's a 2?

• 10:39H. Foley?

  This is a 2, baby.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  I love you to death.

• 10:41H. Foley?

  All the way from 5.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  I love you to death.

• 10:43H. Foley?

  What's it say on the goddamn label?

• 10:45Speaker 02

  I don't, that's...

• 10:46H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  There's no way that is a cut to a 2XL.

• 10:50H. Foley?

  It was...

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 10:51H. Foley?

  And Brooks Brothers is a European company.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  I don't think it is.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  Serbian, I think.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  The good ones.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  I mean, you even, you know in your heart of hearts that's not a 2XL. Don't make me look like the bad guy for all the nice fucking bozos and homies.

• 11:07H. Foley?

  Does it not say?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  You even said, you went, "Uh, 2X, this ain't no 2X."

• 11:11H. Foley?

  Crazy.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  They got a seamstress there swapping out the tags.

• 11:16H. Foley?

  I don't know who fucked up, but, man.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  I'm walking, I'm walking around like a tight ass over here.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  Never get a car made on a Friday or a Monday, you know what I mean?

• 11:24Speaker 02

  It's a nice shirt, you look sharp.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  It's a nice shirt!

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm gonna take you shopping, and I get to pick for you, cuz you, you're...

• 11:31H. Foley?

  You're not coming in the dressing room with me.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Yes, I am, I'm gonna grab you by the crotch and say, "There's a lot of room down here."

• 11:36H. Foley?

  Fucking Patty, you just did that all the time, dude. She'd fucking karate chop my nuts every time, like, eh eh eh. Fucking bitch.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:44H. Foley?

  Right in front of the broad, too.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  At an early age, I was like, "Denise, you're not coming in." It got to the point where, if it didn't fit good, if it didn't pass the ocular assessment on me in the green room, dressing room, I wasn't going out, I was...

• 11:57H. Foley?

  You weren't doing the fashion show.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  I still don't do it with my wife, if I'm like trying something on, she's like, "Oh, try this on," and I try it on, and I come out, I'm like, "Now we're leaving," and she's like, "Well, let me..." I'm like, you know, you're like...

• 12:07H. Foley?

  No, we're getting pizza! That's the way I was with you. You wanted me to shop, I just wanted to grab something for the shoe.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  I know, but you're like, "I don't..."

• 12:14H. Foley?

  It's how I operate.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  That's why you don't have any clothes. You're currently wearing, how much was that shirt? Seventy bucks?

• 12:21H. Foley?

  It's over a hundred.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  That shirt was over a hundred dollars?

• 12:23H. Foley?

  What are you, it's the Brooks Brothers.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  The t-shirt, or the jacket?

• 12:26H. Foley?

  T-shirts? T-shirts are thirty over there.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  Alright, that's a nice gi-

• 12:28H. Foley?

  If you get the three-pack, they're twenty. But it's hit or miss with, it's the diff-

• 12:33Speaker 02

  If you get the value meal.

• 12:36H. Foley?

  Comes in a matchbox car.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Uh, but you're wearing, this is...

• 12:41H. Foley?

  The problem with the t-shirts over there, which I've said is why I'm a true classics man.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  The problem, the problem with you is you're wearing a hundred dollar shirt, look great, you need it to look great, you're a performer, you're running around, you're bebopping, you're scatting, people are paying tickets to see you, you should put, you should be dressed kind of nice.

• 12:57H. Foley?

  Goddamn showman!

• 12:57Speaker 02

  You're a goddamn showman, you're wearing Champion sweatpants with it.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  I bought them, these are nice sweats!

• 13:02Speaker 02

  They're camo, they got camo, they, they, the Champion-

• 13:05H. Foley?

  This is what the kids wear now.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  No, you're the only man ever to wear a hundred dollar, I guarantee ya, a hundred dollar Brooks Brothers shirt, and Champion camo pants at the thing.

• 13:14H. Foley?

  These might have been over a hundred. This is something you would see Bradley Cooper walking around in a West Village in.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 13:20H. Foley?

  He's got some timepiece on his arm.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  I don't know what's wrong, and he's probably playing a homeless guy in a film.

• 13:25H. Foley?

  No, when he picks up to when he runs around, does his errands. He wears the same shit.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:30H. Foley?

  It's cool to wear long sleeve shirts and sweatpants now.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  I agree with Foley on that, but there's-

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Holy shit, what the man?

• 13:37H. Foley?

  Stop the presses.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  I don't like this.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  There's no pair of champion sweatpants over like forty-five dollars.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  Where?

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Just online.

• 13:44H. Foley?

  Look at DXL.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Dude, there's no way those sweatpants were a hundred dollars.

• 13:48H. Foley?

  Maybe three hundred.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  It's five bitcoin.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Topping out at forty-five again, DXL.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Oh, you got bamboozled. No shit they were forty-five. They're bad sweatpants.

• 13:58H. Foley?

  They had to sneaks in.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  They're champion.

• 14:00H. Foley?

  Over a hundred.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:02H. Foley?

  Whatever.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  Fair enough. I'm glad, you gotta, you gotta, you take a, everything you got, you got one of everything, it's got stains on it.

• 14:09H. Foley?

  I told you, I'm done with-

• 14:09Speaker 02

  You're goddamn perf- you're goddamn half a celebrity out here.

• 14:12H. Foley?

  I'm done with the Hawaiians.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Okay. What are you wearing to the wedding, bud? I gotta figure out something for the wedding.

• 14:18H. Foley?

  Hawaiian. I'm over there.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:21H. Foley?

  Like a fucking asshole? Where am I dressed?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  I can't, I'm a guy who wears black. I can't wear black to a Hawaiian wedding.

• 14:28H. Foley?

  And you'll be sweating.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Jacket? No jacket?

• 14:32H. Foley?

  No jacket.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Bomber jacket?

• 14:37Speaker 02

  I'm up there catching a heater.

• 14:39H. Foley?

  No smoking on the premises.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  What? Where?

• 14:41H. Foley?

  No heaters.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I'm not fucking, dude, you're nuts. I'll zoom in. No heaters where?

• 14:46H. Foley?

  The whole island.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Okay, well then-

• 14:48H. Foley?

  Goddamn archipelago. What's your pollution over there?

• 14:51Speaker 02

  I gotta talk to Del thing.

• 14:53H. Foley?

  Fresh fruit.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  See about a refund.

• 14:54H. Foley?

  Starfish.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Um-

• 14:56H. Foley?

  Pineapple ice cream.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Moussa bees.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Alright, that's neither here nor there. Can we do hot pot over there?

• 15:02H. Foley?

  Oh, buddy.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  That's what I need, spicy hot soup in the fucking, in Hawaii.

• 15:06H. Foley?

  It cools you down.

• 15:07Speaker 02

  Okay, that's-

• 15:10Speaker 02

  It burns you so hot, you start getting delusional that you're cold.

• 15:13H. Foley?

  I'll take you a full place over there, fucking have you.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:17H. Foley?

  Fucking walk in the Ho Chi Minh Trail, that shit's fucking hot.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  I'm going right up the middle. Chicken tendies and some fries, little bit of room service.

• 15:26H. Foley?

  Short ribs, you like a short rib? You're a short rib guy.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  I like them if you-

• 15:28H. Foley?

  Short rib season right now.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  I like them if you replace them with chicken tendies, yeah, though a little short rib, little short tendies.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  I've had that hankering for that Irish food. It's the season. Bangers and mash.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Irish foe?

• 15:44H. Foley?

  I've been circling my dreams. Kim, but some about uncommon goods.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  These ain't your regular goods.

• 15:50H. Foley?

  Gang sparks something uncommon this holiday season with a gift from Uncommon Goods. The busy holiday season is here and Uncommon Goods makes it less stressful with incredible handpicked gifts for everyone on your list, all in one spot. Gifts that spark joy, wonder, delight, and that's exactly what I want kinda vibe, if you know what I mean. Gang, they scour the globe looking for the original handmade, absolutely remarkable thing, somehow they know exactly the perfect gift. Do yourself a favor, go over there and check out the website, got a lot of good stuff over there.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you're a bad gift giver like I am, it's easy, you go over there bada bing bada boom, they got all of this good shit that you never think of. I got my wife a pretty cool necklace, don't tell her nothing about it.

• 16:32H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's easy, take the gift, they were nice enough to give me a code, these Uncommon Goods guys and gals, send it over, I jumped on there. Bada bing bada boom, I got a necklace.

• 16:43H. Foley?

  Belly button ring for the guma, too.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  And me. Uh, here it is, to get 10% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash AYG, that's uncommongoods.com slash AYG for 15% off. Don't miss out on this unlimited, on this limited time offer, Uncommon Goods, we're all out of the ordinary.

• 17:01H. Foley?

  Love it, do it. Kimmy, it's BlueChew time, baby.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Boner town.

• 17:05H. Foley?

  BlueChew season, huh? Forget about the holiday, it's cuffing season. It's boning season.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  It's knocking.

• 17:11H. Foley?

  And listen, especially around the holidays, everybody's stressed out, we all need a little help, you know what I mean? Santa's got a little helper, you know? In his stocking, hanging by the fireplace. Listen, you gotta show up this Christmas season, you know what I mean? You gotta bring the heat.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Something you can swing from, daddy-o.

• 17:26H. Foley?

  Something you can swing from, alright? The candy canes ain't the only thing she's gonna be sucking on. Do yourself a favor, get a little BlueChew for a little stride. No, I need it, I'm low. I'm bad news, man.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  If you're not familiar, BlueChew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and it's In chewable form, you know what I mean? BlueChew tablets are made in the USA. I'm talking homegrown bones, dog. Uh, you can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever the opportunity arises. Uh, BlueChew wants you-

• 17:59H. Foley?

  The moment, let's say the moment.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Sure. BlueChew wants you to have the confidence to perform at your best, so discover your options at BlueChew.com. And right now, we got a special deal for AYG listeners.

• 18:08H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  You can try BlueChew for free.

• 18:10H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Let me rerun that. For free, when you use our promo code GARBAGE at checkout, just pay $5 in shipping. That's BlueChew.com promo code GARBAGE to receive your first month for free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.

• 18:24H. Foley?

  Yes, we do.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  We got a goddamn family episode on our hand, gang. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon over there, shout out to the over 13,000 homies. Goddamn army of garbage over there.

• 18:35H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Uh, when you join, well, you get to ask your Patreon, you get to submit your Patreon question. We will read it on the air, and we got a hot one coming in.

• 18:43H. Foley?

  Hit me.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  This is from Jay. Fine $10 homie, never had one read. Is it garbage you use a poop bag for your lunch because you ran out of Ziploc?

• 18:49H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  Dude, that's bad, cuz they all have a film on them. They have like an anti, it's like a baby powder, they have something to-

• 18:57H. Foley?

  Called talc.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, that's-

• 18:59H. Foley?

  That's nuts.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Also, what are your coworkers thinking? You sit down with a bag full of dog shit.

• 19:04H. Foley?

  Just fucking raw dog that shit.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, or be like, hey, I'm gonna order out today. It's also not that big. They're tiny bags.

• 19:11H. Foley?

  Man. They're like an air fryer roll up in there. That's a tough look, dude.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  No, what, dude-

• 19:17H. Foley?

  However-

• 19:18Speaker 02

  No. People are talking about, you already got a tin foil, you don't have a shh, shh, grocery bag? I'd rather loose lunch meat in your pocket than that.

• 19:27H. Foley?

  Man, what are people thinking?

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Hit a Wawa, 7-Eleven, something.

• 19:31H. Foley?

  Sure, get a soda. I need a bag.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:34H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  That was, that's, I mean, that's, you shouldn't be doing that. I mean, I'm no, I'm no gentleman over here, but that's a tough look.

• 19:40H. Foley?

  I was at a Wawa just this morrow.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. I bet you were. When'd you get a salad?

• 19:47H. Foley?

  Something like that.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Sure.

• 19:49H. Foley?

  Got them bites down here. I tell you what.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  That you did not get, cuz you told me you had a sizzler.

• 19:53H. Foley?

  I seen him though.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  I seen, got him.

• 19:55H. Foley?

  Said hello.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  That's good for them.

• 19:56H. Foley?

  As I walked out with my sizzler over my arm.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  There's something, um, there's something I love, there's something so in me from going to Wawa's my whole entire life, that when I walk into one now, from not being at them so long, cuz they don't have them in New York, you go there's something instinctual that takes over in this, they all smell the same, they all got the same flavor, it's fucking fantastic.

• 20:20H. Foley?

  Makes you wanna load up and go back to your mom's and sit on the couch.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Dude, if you can still find a small one, like the small country ones, not the fucking big super Wawa's, you walk, ah.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  You don't eat all that shit. Old school.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Clean living.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  They're making the pretzels in the back.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Woo, doggy. Uh, alright, this one's from Cousin Vinnie, ten dollar chicken parm foot soldier, shout out to ya. Are you garbage if you see someone that lost a ton of weight in person, but don't address it cuz you're jealous?

• 20:50H. Foley?

  Alright, what's up, man?

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Hi, how you doing? Nothing new, nothing changed for you? Alright.

• 20:54H. Foley?

  I just got a haircut, no big deal.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  I got this new shirt from Brooks Brothers.

• 20:58H. Foley?

  Damn, that's fucking hater shit.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  I respect it though, I respect it.

• 21:02H. Foley?

  Cuz you're looking for it.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Oh, that guy, that guy or gal who lost the weight, I've been on both ends of this.

• 21:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  And you're looking.

• 21:10H. Foley?

  Oh my god, I, second, last time I lost a little bit of weight and I went home, I didn't get it in the first two seconds.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:16H. Foley?

  I shattered a vase at my brother's house and walked out.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  He got, he got the shard of glass to your neck. I'll do it.

• 21:24H. Foley?

  Telling me about some relative that passed away.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:26H. Foley?

  I'm standing right here!

• 21:28Speaker 02

  You're posing and shit, you're throwing it, hey.

• 21:30H. Foley?

  Up by the mantle, my arm on there. Yeah, that's fucking cold.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  I respect that though, I, you know, it's, cuz that's a thing you, you wrestle with yourself all day, ever you're looking, like I, you know, I doubt this, this person's in really good shape.

• 21:46H. Foley?

  You doubt that they are.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  The person who's jealous, cuz if they are, they're like, ah, I'm chilling, I don't fuck you, you know.

• 21:51H. Foley?

  Ah, I can see that too, though. Skinny minis.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:55H. Foley?

  Throwing shade.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  No, they're gonna, hey.

• 21:57H. Foley?

  In the back of their head, like, ah, you'll be fat again.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 21:59H. Foley?

  And they're right.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  And they, hey buddy.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  What goes up must come down.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  Talk about the yo-yo diet. Uh, alright, let's see. This one's just funny. This is from Fritz. Is it garbage referred to the one year of tech school you went to after high school as your college years?

• 22:15H. Foley?

  What is tech school? Or what's textile?

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Textile is-

• 22:19H. Foley?

  Have I asked you this before?

• 22:20Speaker 02

  No, textile, I believe. There used to be a- oh, don't answer this yet, Lou.

• 22:23H. Foley?

  Cause I had a couple of boys-

• 22:24Speaker 02

  That went to textile university?

• 22:26H. Foley?

  Philadelphia Textile University.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Couple older sisters.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, my cousin, who's a listener, my cousin Bry, who's a cop, shout out to ya. Thank you for your service.

• 22:34H. Foley?

  That's their textile school?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:35H. Foley?

  These were always hot chicks. They were always-

• 22:37Speaker 02

  He's not a hot chick.

• 22:38H. Foley?

  Bit of a-

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Uh, textile just means like, fabric. Like a textile plant-

• 22:43H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Is like fabric.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  What are they doing there?

• 22:46Speaker 02

  What?

• 22:47H. Foley?

  To be like a seamstress, or like a-

• 22:48Speaker 02

  No, I think that-

• 22:49H. Foley?

  Clothing maker?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  No, that school-

• 22:50H. Foley?

  A fashion designer?

• 22:51Speaker 02

  No, I think the textile-

• 22:52Speaker 03

  I think it's just more like wholesale, like fabrics.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  No, but the text- look up the textile- No, he's talking about the school. Look up the Textile University of Philadelphia.

• 23:01H. Foley?

  That's not what they're going to school for.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  US with textiles were.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, textiles are fabric.

• 23:04H. Foley?

  Dim lighting and cheap merchandise. They're not doing that. They're learning how to be clothing designers.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  I don't think it. I think it just became a regular school at some point.

• 23:12H. Foley?

  It did, yeah, it closed down.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:13H. Foley?

  It's something now. Arcadia or something like that.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was Beaver went to Arcadia.

• 23:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, it did.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Beaver College in Pennsylvania, once the internet came along, they had to change the name.

• 23:24H. Foley?

  What were you thinking?

• 23:24Speaker 02

  Cause everybody was typing in Beaver College and they were getting like coeds and pillow fights and stuff, you know what I mean? So they had to change it to Arcadia.

• 23:32H. Foley?

  Muff University? The hell?

• 23:34Speaker 02

  Do you have anything on textile university?

• 23:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, it just seems like FIT, like fashion institutes.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Oh, was it?

• 23:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, like- Fashion Institute of Technology is real sharp up here.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  I never understood that. Fashion technology?

• 23:47H. Foley?

  That's where fucking hot chicks go.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  A textile degree is a credential that certifies two to four years of specialized training in the the design and development of fabric-based products such as apparel and furniture.

• 23:58H. Foley?

  I like that. That's sharp.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Um, but I don't think it was at the time.

• 24:04H. Foley?

  Philadelphia textile? I thought they were like cutting fucking-

• 24:07Speaker 02

  It's now Philadelphia University.

• 24:09H. Foley?

  Okay. I thought they were like cutting tile with like wet saws and shit.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  That's what it sounds like, yeah.

• 24:13H. Foley?

  Right?

• 24:15Speaker 02

  That's also what I

• 24:16H. Foley?

  They were roofing or something.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  I believe, uh, I could be wrong on this. What it's, uh, Berkshire Hathaway was originally a textile company.

• 24:24H. Foley?

  The, uh...

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Warren Buffett.

• 24:26H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Who for the longest time I thought was Jimmy Buffett's cousin. Guy I used to work with.

• 24:30H. Foley?

  They're not?

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Guy I used to work with, Pete told me that. I've believed him ever since, until I said it very confidently in mixed company.

• 24:37H. Foley?

  Talk about a couple of bucks, huh?

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Not too shabby.

• 24:40H. Foley?

  Jimmy, I mean.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Sure. Rest in peace, right?

• 24:43H. Foley?

  I wonder who has more money, him or Warren Bu- Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett?

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Warren Buffett, and it's not even, not even close.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  Jimmy just became a billionaire right before he passed, I believe.

• 24:53H. Foley?

  All them margaritas, new shit.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  What's Warren Buffett's?

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I think it's in like the hundreds.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably like...

• 24:57H. Foley?

  Hundreds of billions of dollars?

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, his net worth?

• 25:01H. Foley?

  It's pretty good then.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  You know what he does? He eats Mickey D's every day.

• 25:04H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  He could be the next Warren Buffett.

• 25:06H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  He'd be Warren Buffet.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  One hundred and forty-five point nine billion US dollars.

• 25:13H. Foley?

  Just jump change.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  Um, I...

• 25:16H. Foley?

  You don't wear Brooks Brothers.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  Probably don't have a nice shacket either.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Sure. You really like the shacket?

• 25:23H. Foley?

  It's my shirt.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  It's my jacket?

• 25:25H. Foley?

  Shirt and my jacket. Everything. Wear it open.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 25:29H. Foley?

  When you walk outside, keeps you, keeps you warm.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. The only thing, as a big-

• 25:33H. Foley?

  It's thick cut.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  As a big shacket guy, as I am, as you know, has been wearing shackets for a long time, been making fun of me for years.

• 25:38H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Been a shacket guy.

• 25:41H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Sometimes you're walking in the city, colder weather, you turn the corner and you-

• 25:46H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  You turn into fucking Batman real quick with the flaps, and then you're like, cause then the titties ain't great, you got the belly button hole poking.

• 25:54H. Foley?

  Break out the bat gut.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Oh dude, yikes. You gotta hold, and then you just feel like a fat kid again, like-

• 26:01H. Foley?

  Turned into the Penguin real quick.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  You're like holding it, and you're walking sideways.

• 26:05H. Foley?

  That's why you always make fun of me, cause my other jacket, my, uh, my roofing jacket, or whatever it is.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  The welding jacket.

• 26:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, my kid.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Dude, that thing, it looks like you were in Fallujah. That thing stinks, dude.

• 26:18H. Foley?

  One of the guys that died in fury.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  It looks like you got back from fucking Desert Storm in that thing.

• 26:24H. Foley?

  I button that up when I walk around. You yelling at me when I walked in the cellar one night, but I, I do that because I don't want to have that happen when I, when I hit the scene.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Well, unbutton at the door.

• 26:34H. Foley?

  Whatever. I turn the corner, it's fucking a-

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's tough. Man, my hairline starts going.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  Mae West coming around. Hello, boys. Fucking Marilyn Monroe blowing up in my skirt.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Oh, God. Yeah, it was her.

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Uh, this one's from Aiden, $10 hombre, never had one read. You ever use a recent mugshot as a form of ID? Forgot my ID at a bar and I used my recent mugshot to prove that I'm over 21, bartender almost bought it. I guess because it has your data, it's got all your stats on it.

• 27:08H. Foley?

  Prove you're over 21 and how to handle yourself.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Hey, listen, I ain't no bubble gummer. Shit hits the fan, I'm ready to rock. Ah, that's a pretty good one.

• 27:18H. Foley?

  I'm ready to go back in.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Uh huh. That is a desperate thing when you don't have your license and you are clearly, you're just like, dude, there's gotta be something I can tell you or give you to prove this.

• 27:29H. Foley?

  It's funny how.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Like, what are we doing?

• 27:32H. Foley?

  The picture of an ID is now pretty much accepted.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Lot of places don't, the seller doesn't.

• 27:38H. Foley?

  For real?

• 27:39Speaker 02

  They say, they, they, they say no picture will be taken.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  No picture.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Picture of your, you need your physical ID.

• 27:47H. Foley?

  I see a lot of people doing that more and more these, since COVID.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just think it's like, I know for the people that don't need the business, like the popular bars are going like, we're not rolling the dice with you with some fucking, like, I don't need you in here, there's a line of 50 people to get in.

• 28:04H. Foley?

  Right.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  I'll bounce you right on it, I got options. You know what I mean?

• 28:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  That's, uh, that and like cigs, if you're like, you have ID and you're like, nah, I don't, I'm like, you're fucking carding me. Sometimes it'll go like, what's your birthday? I'm like, I'm born in fucking 86, dude. Smoking longer than you've been alive, make good with the fucking, make good with the weeds, you know?

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Cigs are worse because cigs are popping in, bar, you know you're going to the bar.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Like you, like you know, okay, I'm going out to the bar, I should have my ID on me.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Sure, I'll give you that.

• 28:33Speaker 03

  Cigs, you could just be running in to grab.

• 28:34H. Foley?

  There's always one bozo that don't have their shit. I've never not had my fucking wallet on me, oh, I didn't, oh, I didn't, uh, what the fuck are you doing?

• 28:44Speaker 02

  You were a passport guy for a while.

• 28:46H. Foley?

  No, I wasn't.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  I was.

• 28:48H. Foley?

  I was a social security card guy, or social security card guy for a while. I didn't have a photo ID, I didn't have a valid photo ID for a long time.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  No, for that, yeah, no, I knew there was something for a long time. There was places you couldn't get in, I remember.

• 28:58H. Foley?

  I didn't have my passport till two years ago. Yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  I remember, for sure. And you go, "I got this and I got this." Fuck, he's got a fucking, he's got a paper social security card.

• 29:09H. Foley?

  Yeah. My, my-

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Like you're trying to open a fucking library account.

• 29:12H. Foley?

  My license was expired and cracked, and it was taped together.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  The social security card works like that?

• 29:20H. Foley?

  No, but I've, I've said-

• 29:21Speaker 02

  They just, the bouncer sees like, "This guy needs a drink. He is down on his luck."

• 29:25H. Foley?

  I've said it many times on the pod that I was able to fly from LaGuardia Airport to Atlanta, Georgia, and back with just a social security card. And I think a credit card. They let me through.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  So time you got off of Lo-, you got off of LaGuardia and walked home on the highway?

• 29:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 29:44H. Foley?

  Good times. Now I got Brooks Brothers.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Hey, now I gotta shack it.

• 29:47H. Foley?

  Now I shack it.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see. This one's from Xander. "Are you garbage if your dad buys an industrial toilet seat? The kind with the gap found in public restrooms for your home bathroom?" I kinda like that.

• 30:00H. Foley?

  Can I ask you a question-

• 30:01Speaker 02

  It probably doesn't fit.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  Can I ask you a question about that?

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Please.

• 30:04H. Foley?

  Um, so, two things. One, we have a bathroom in the lobby of our building, which nobody uses, and I use as if it is my powder room.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  I would do the same thing. I normally don't side it with you. I fucking respect that.

• 30:19H. Foley?

  Because it's spotless, all the time.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  You have a good, unused, public restroom. There's nothing, dude, I'm, I like them better than mine sometimes. Cause you feel like, you're like, "I'm, I'm staying at the Ritz Carlton, it feels nicer."

• 30:31H. Foley?

  It's tucked away, nobody's ever there, and I mean, I've been in there for like a half an hour. Like, if I get home at like 11 o'clock at night and I gotta, I gotta use the bathroom, I'm not gonna go up there, get my bo-

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Tiptoe and-

• 30:44H. Foley?

  Get my balls broke about, "Shut the door and smell, yeah, meh." I sit there, and also too, there, in my bathroom at the house, I'm, I'm up against the wall.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're tighter. Those are like-

• 30:56H. Foley?

  Dude, this thing, I'm fucking, I feel like the Fonz, I'm stretched out.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 31:01H. Foley?

  Take some calls, plus I never run out of toilet paper.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, for days.

• 31:06H. Foley?

  I gotta fucking, uh-

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Got a fan going, probably.

• 31:09H. Foley?

  I got a magazine just-

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Some good fucking, uh, good paper towels to wash the hand, dry the hands or whatever.

• 31:15H. Foley?

  It's nice.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Soap, yeah. Dude, I had it, I was, we were in, um- We were in DC a couple of weeks ago. What was that bar I told you I went to? Like ye olde Al House? Or something like that. It's that famous-

• 31:25H. Foley?

  Ebbets?

• 31:26Speaker 02

  Ebbets. Ebbets.

• 31:28H. Foley?

  Something.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Something. Old House or something like that.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  Ebbets Backroom Deal Bar.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like a very, it's from like the fucking 1860s.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  Old Ebbet Grill?

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, what year is that from?

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Uh...1856.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  And the bathrooms are from 1856, dude. And I had an away game I had to do.

• 31:46H. Foley?

  You gonna make a doo-doo in there?

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Aw, man.

• 31:47H. Foley?

  Crab cake got ya, huh?

• 31:49Speaker 02

  It was fucking-

• 31:50H. Foley?

  Little blue crab sneaking up on ya.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Little, it was a crab cake egg Benny.

• 31:54H. Foley?

  If you gentlemen will excuse me, the crab cake egg Benny?

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 31:58H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Went in Rome.

• 32:00H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. But it was also like-

• 32:03H. Foley?

  Look at you, looking for the gout. You in here? Look at you.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  That's your holiday sauce.

• 32:08H. Foley?

  Aw, don't get me started.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  But man, this bathroom, uh, smaller than a foam, and the door, it had those old doors with the gout, like, wooden door, not even like a fucking metal door that clinks, and the floor was wet. And I was, there was no, I, I mean, it's right next to the White House. They weren't gonna let me in.

• 32:26H. Foley?

  Taking a dump next to Mr. Peanut.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Aw, dude, it was fucking, people coming. It was one of those ones, it was bad. Loud, not, wasn't the best aroma floating around.

• 32:37H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  And no, like, there was like, the door was probably like three feet. Like, it only just, it covered your knees.

• 32:44H. Foley?

  Like a cowboy bar?

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you stand up, it's like, not even to my, it just covers your midsection. And man, there's guys, like, it's like someone's foot's right next to yours who's taking a pee, like, it's tight. And I was like-

• 32:56H. Foley?

  Nice pair of loafers.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  I had to let, I, I had to sit there for a minute or two and let the pedestrian, let the foot traffic clear out, you know what I mean? I was like, I'm gonna be getting-

• 33:05H. Foley?

  Wait till the shift change.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  Wait till the light to turn.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  It's like a line changing hockey.

• 33:11H. Foley?

  Hey, you guys wanna shut the fuck up and get outta here, huh?

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Ah, it's bad. What was that tall for?

• 33:17H. Foley?

  I'm with you on that. Uh, the industrial toilet, I don't mind. I, uh, worry because my, um, how do I put this delicately? My, my equipment.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Your weener?

• 33:31H. Foley?

  Right, my weener.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:32H. Foley?

  Sometimes is in perfect contact with that. It's like ki- like, like, like a baby's kiss. And I mean, like, the lips are fucking, they go perfectly right there.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:46H. Foley?

  And I've been in some... Whatever's there. If I forget to wipe it, like, you know, cause I'll, I'll wipe that off. I don't want my fu- my weener's-

• 33:56Speaker 02

  No, no, no, it's so great. I put a piece of paper towel over the middle sometimes.

• 33:59H. Foley?

  A napkin? Really? Like, putting the fucking napkin in your shirt?

• 34:03Speaker 02

  Well, it's either that or-

• 34:03H. Foley?

  Put a lobster bib down there for a little guy?

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, sometimes, yeah, I'm, I, you know, I'm not catching whatever that's got.

• 34:09H. Foley?

  Can you, is that, yeah, I would-

• 34:12Speaker 02

  I don't know if I ever told you, I was at that, what's that jazz bar in? This is, I don't think I've ever told anybody this.

• 34:19H. Foley?

  You do it in a jazz bar?

• 34:20Speaker 02

  No, I had a shit real bad one night. We were out drinking. We left, I think, I think we left, this is the Philly days, we left Raven.

• 34:28H. Foley?

  Hey, man, what's the scene like in there?

• 34:32Speaker 02

  I had a shit. I think I paid fi- I thought, I don't think, I never told you I paid a $5 cover to get in there.

• 34:37H. Foley?

  I'm a real cool cat and I'm jammed up.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  I got a Jeff Cap on backwards.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Just looking for a quick fix, man. I think I had to pay a cover to get in there and, uh-

• 34:50H. Foley?

  To deuce it out?

• 34:51Speaker 02

  To deuce. And that's just, that's a bad bathroom too, but I'm pretty sure a guy was jerking off in there before I went in there.

• 34:57H. Foley?

  Why?

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Cause he was jerking off in there. That's why I'm pretty-

• 35:02H. Foley?

  Cause I was jerking him off.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  He's not gonna finish himself.

• 35:08H. Foley?

  I had to get in there.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  Guy was conducting a lewd sex act on himself.

• 35:11H. Foley?

  What, and you think it got on the lip?

• 35:13Speaker 02

  I don't know. Well, I had a shit in there right. It was like, it was either that or shit my pants. And I was pretty drunk and I was like enough to get over like the, man, that guy was just wailing on himself in here.

• 35:23H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  I think I might even open the door on him. I was like, we got an emergency out here, pal. Like, you gotta fucking...

• 35:28H. Foley?

  Sir!

• 35:29Speaker 02

  Put that thing in my mouth. I'll wrap this up real quick.

• 35:32H. Foley?

  You need to put that trumpet away and head on out to the lobby?

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Well, you're safe, because it is highly unlikely that you can catch anything from the toilet seat by simply touching it with your penis tip.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  That's what my girlfriend told me.

• 35:43H. Foley?

  Jesus. It's just scary when it hits.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  No, I know what you're talking about.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  How many other weeners you've kissed like that?

• 35:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  That's a lot. He started licking it.

• 35:54H. Foley?

  I also have gotten the water.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. A self-bidet.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:58H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Which I don't mind.

• 36:00H. Foley?

  Really?

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Depends.

• 36:03H. Foley?

  That ain't fucking...

• 36:03Speaker 02

  That ain't good.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  It's usually after something bad just dropped.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  I'm not proud of it, but yeah, that happened. Listen, this is a fucking toilet talk time with Kippy and Foley, alright?

• 36:12H. Foley?

  He brought it up.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Fucking clean it up.

• 36:14H. Foley?

  Great question, though. Kip, Factor, Factor, gimme the news. I got a chicken bowl waiting in the fridge.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  For you.

• 36:21H. Foley?

  That's right, baby. Gang, we love Factor meals around here at Tooties.

• 36:24Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:25H. Foley?

  Our absolute favorite, which we were getting them before they were even a sponsor.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  I'm a bit of a trendsetter. I wanted, I was talking about them before they were even a sponsor, which makes me think I gave them the Kippy bump, you know what I mean? The boost of confidence they needed.

• 36:39H. Foley?

  Gang, if you're not familiar with Factor, which you should be, it's the number one ready-to-eat meal kit in the United States.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:45H. Foley?

  Pop them in the microwave, they're ready in two minutes, they're hot, they're delicious, they're nutritious, they are fantastic, and they don't got all that junk in them.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 36:53H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? Talk about clean eating here.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, Factor lets you do you. You can choose from six menu preferences that help you manage calories, maximize protein intake, avoid meat, or simply just well-balanced.

• 37:03H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Because Factor meals are chef-prepared and dietitian-approved, you're only going to love, you're not only going to love how Factor's meals taste, but also how they support your goals. Uh, they're easy-peasy. I'm, I go on the keto-low-cal type deal and I shredded that. That shredded chicken taco.

• 37:19H. Foley?

  Nah, that dude.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  I mean, that's better than Thanksgiving dinner.

• 37:21H. Foley?

  Do yourself a favor, chicken and gravy.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 37:24H. Foley?

  Blow your hair back.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Head to factormeals.com/garbage50 and use the code garbage50. Forget this, 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.

• 37:33H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 37:34Speaker 02

  That's code garbage50 at factormeals.com/garbage50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Do it.

• 37:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  All right, let's see here. This one's from Time is a Flatbread Circle. Home run of a name. $10 shareholder. Is it, is it trashy to eat lunch at your desk in your office? I don't leave for lunch, so I just shut my door, watch stuff on my phone and then open it, eat, and then I open it back up when I'm done.

• 38:03H. Foley?

  No, that's, I think that's the classiest of all mo- that's the guy getting shit done.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't, I think that's probably very specific depending on your inter-office politics being from the time I've worked in an office.

• 38:15H. Foley?

  What are the options? You've never eaten lunch at the offices you've worked at in the break room like they do on the office. But you're not sitting around with the other people eating lunch.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  No, they hated me for it. They, they always made comments, you don't, you never, I don't know, you, I would go out and catch heaters. Three or four heaters.

• 38:31H. Foley?

  Let's be honest, you didn't want them to see what you were doing.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Well, no, that was for like brought lunch.

• 38:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna like go all the way downstairs, get a chicken parm, which I did, oh man, this place on 59th and Park.

• 38:42H. Foley?

  And a slice of Sicilian and walk back up.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:44H. Foley?

  Cause then there'd be more questions than answers.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  No, this place fucking, this place at 59th and Park. Cause in the, in the floor of the building I worked, like on the ground floor of the building I worked in, man, they made these pre-wrapped chicken parms with real mozzarella, like unheated, like they assembled it. And then threw it in the oven, man, and they knew every time I came in, Kippy was, they were little bangers. They were probably like eight inches, you know what I mean?

• 39:10H. Foley?

  Man, call it a day. You picking sesame seeds out of your.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Nah, I would walk out, boom heater, right off the rip. Boom eater. Pop in there, order. I'd, I'd be, by the time I'm ordering and I'm eating, seven minutes, I'm gone. I'm out, back catching heaters. And I would get an hour break, but I would only take a half hour, which I wasn't sure was okay with corporate policy, but I flew by my own rules.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  Would you cut out a half hour early?

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Fuck yeah, I would. Fuck yeah, I would.

• 39:39H. Foley?

  Well, even at 3:30, like the high school kids.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Uh huh, later.

• 39:43H. Foley?

  Kinda catching the bus. I got football practice.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Everybody worked like till like 3, 4, or 5. I worked till 6. They let me work 10 to 6.

• 39:52H. Foley?

  Wait, everybody worked what?

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Everybody would go in at like 7. They all had like lives and stuff.

• 39:57H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  So they're like, I need to get home by 3, my kids get home. And I'm like, fuck that, this place.

• 40:02H. Foley?

  You had nobody waiting for you.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  No, and this place clears out about 4:15, so Kippy's chilling for the last 90 minutes of the day.

• 40:09H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  You know?

• 40:11H. Foley?

  But I think you just sit in your office and you have your lunch, I think that's the respectable move.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  That seems pretty, but I, a lot of interoffice-

• 40:18H. Foley?

  You close it, close for business, give me my time.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  But a lot of people think that's, a lot of interoffice politics, that could be weird of like, that's, I'm, I'm, I agree.

• 40:26H. Foley?

  Fucking sitting in there next to the vending machine with fucking Dwight and the other guy. Get the fuck out of here.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Will they, won't they? Who knows?

• 40:33H. Foley?

  Get out of here.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  No, I agree, that's a, you're not intruding on anybody, you can eat your own smelly food if you want. You can have the fucking four day old meatballs.

• 40:40H. Foley?

  I respect that.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  I'm gonna start doing that.

• 40:42H. Foley?

  I saw-

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, go for it. Well, then I'm done buying your fucking lunch.

• 40:46H. Foley?

  Fucking bastard.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Guys, my doors click, puts like, you know, be back in 15 or whatever.

• 40:54H. Foley?

  I saw Tucci do that the other day.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  Do not disturb.

• 40:57H. Foley?

  He was, he was working on something, I guess he was, he was on set filming something. And he did a little quick video, he's like, I'm back in my trailer, I'm having a little fucking Venison Bolognese in my trailer.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Ooh, that's gotta be K Putz. Smells like roadkill, fucking marinara sauce. Tucci though, sure.

• 41:14H. Foley?

  Probably got all that cologne on him. But rather than eating with the rest of the, you know, the, the people that he's working with, he takes a couple, he takes an hour.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Sometimes you need a minute. It's Tucci. I get that, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:24H. Foley?

  Fucking day player or whatever, you know what I mean? Some fucking extra, loading up their pockets with fucking Cliff bars.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 41:31H. Foley?

  Having a nice Bolognese on his honey wagon. I respect it.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  I, hey, I'm right there with it.

• 41:36H. Foley?

  Boundaries, Luke, boundaries. Maybe I'll start doing that too.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  This is gonna end up all three of us just eating in separate rooms.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Do not disturb ordering three separate lunches.

• 41:48H. Foley?

  The buzzer's going off, no one's getting up.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  It's not mine.

• 41:52H. Foley?

  Not here.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  I never did that. I would, uh, I would always remove my, I would find out too. I wouldn't stand too close.

• 41:58H. Foley?

  You didn't have an office, what are you talking about?

• 42:00Speaker 02

  I know.

• 42:01H. Foley?

  Fucking eating, hanging over the secretary's desk.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  They would get mad at me too.

• 42:04H. Foley?

  You still with that boyfriend of yours?

• 42:06Speaker 02

  What was her name? She be a bitch. She, they all, no one ever liked me. No one ever liked me. Well, I never went to their birthday parties and they got real upset about that.

• 42:18H. Foley?

  Wait, would like, when, like at the job?

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, huh, we're singing for Christine.

• 42:23H. Foley?

  I know it's a Seinfeld, but you're crazy.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  What?

• 42:25H. Foley?

  Ah, I would have been at every one.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 42:28H. Foley?

  Those store bought cakes? Oh.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  And then you're in there, somebody on the, worked on the other floor, I didn't even know.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  Did your mom ever bring a slice like that home for you? If it was somebody's birthday?

• 42:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 42:39H. Foley?

  Every once in a while, my mom would, man, I would.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  She worked in a hospital. I'm not eating food that was fucking sitting in a hospital for four hours. And then a fucking forty minute car ride home at midnight, she were working third shift.

• 42:50H. Foley?

  Yeah, Mr. Gagliano's piece, he ain't gonna need it.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  It's half eaten. There's phlegm on it or something.

• 42:57H. Foley?

  He don't need it where he's going.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 42:59H. Foley?

  I love that.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Uh-uh.

• 43:00H. Foley?

  The, the, the, uh, um, icing was more whipped cream than icing? You know those cakes? Those store bought sheet cakes?

• 43:09Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 43:09H. Foley?

  And like the, the name would be in like.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  The gel?

• 43:12H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  I ne- I never liked that.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Oh, you're crazy.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Sure, I'm a crazy man.

• 43:18H. Foley?

  Couple of munchkins straighten you out.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, there you go. Ah, oh yeah.

• 43:22H. Foley?

  Eating a dead man's munchkin? And he'll do that, won't you fatty?

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Sure. Nah, she never brought, that was never, that, my dad, well, so when my.

• 43:31H. Foley?

  She was working a graveyard shift.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  I know. But my dad, everything was fucking passed over by the time she got in.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  I do remember.

• 43:39H. Foley?

  Some wilted Caesar salad.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  I got, I got in trouble for eating some guy's bagel out of my dad's, out of my dad's, my dad's cafeteria, or like kitchen. My dad had an office. My dad owned a company. It was a pretty big, at the time.

• 43:53H. Foley?

  Right?

• 43:55Speaker 02

  And I just assumed everything was his.

• 43:57H. Foley?

  They had a snack room.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:59H. Foley?

  Where like the guys would put their lunch and stuff.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  And I ate someone's bagel.

• 44:02H. Foley?

  How old are you?

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Eight, but it was a stink. Where's my bagel? I heard it that way first.

• 44:09H. Foley?

  What was, what was on it?

• 44:11Speaker 02

  I don't even remember.

• 44:12H. Foley?

  Butter?

• 44:13Speaker 02

  I might have just been a, like a, just a straight up bag. And I just probably grabbed a Coke, a can of, can of Coke and a bagel. And went in the shop and hid behind some fucking old hot water heaters and ate it.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  Two by fours?

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  Fucking sawdust in your hair.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  You know that panic where you hea-, you know you're about to be in trouble? They'd start a circle in the office. Who ate my bagel? Somebody ate my bagel. And I'm like, and they knew, they probably, I probably had poppy seeds in my teeth. They probably knew it was fucking me right away. Fat little, little fat kid running around the office.

• 44:47H. Foley?

  Fat little bastard.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Likes his way around a carbohydrate.

• 44:49H. Foley?

  Man.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Guy named Wayne. And then it went to my dad, and my dad's like, did you eat his bagel? And I was like, yeah. Also, I'm sure my dad was like, you fucking cheap, he's a fucking kid. Go buy your own, go buy a new fucking bagel. What amount of money I'm paying you?

• 45:06H. Foley?

  Ah, man, he looked at you, fat little bastard.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  That was one of those where I'm like, ah, he can't contain yourself. You cannot, you just like.

• 45:13H. Foley?

  Cause I know you had breakfast.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  I probably had a bagel on the way in from Wawa.

• 45:18H. Foley?

  At Doofert? Little BOGO?

• 45:21Speaker 02

  It's Saturday. Ah, tough, tough look, dude. Is it garbage to wait for your neighbors to leave their hotel room, then order room service to their room and take it when the staff leaves it outside? Free tendies for the boys. I think there's ones you can probably call up just randomly on the phone and say, "Hey, I'm staying in room 404." You probably have to know the name and something, something. Or there's an app, like you can scan it and then do like, you gotta know their name somehow or something. Or maybe, you know, maybe just put fucking Franklin and they, they just take it.

• 45:52H. Foley?

  You just roll it up. Man, that's a dirty.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Cause in a nice place, people aren't doing that. People, you know what I mean? They're not looking for ways to fucking cheat the room service, but this is pretty diabolical.

• 46:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Most of the places doing room service are pretty nice now, too. Like not, I feel like you're not getting a lot of bad hotels doing room service.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 46:09H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 03

  They're gonna double check the name.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  True, like no.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Like that's where you're getting jammed up, I think.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  No hotel.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  This could've been in the 80s or something.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  No hotel on the road we've ever had, went to had room service. Except when we cash in points and do a nice one.

• 46:22H. Foley?

  You gotta go downstairs and fucking meet your Uber Eats guy.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:25H. Foley?

  And run the gauntlet or run into somebody.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've done that. Many a times we've all bumped into each other like 2:15. Nah, I'm just gonna call it quits.

• 46:32H. Foley?

  Looking the other way.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna head up.

• 46:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Fucking.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  I made a couple of sprints down to the fucking, the snack corner in the lobby of the hotel. Put this on 419!

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Haha.

• 46:45H. Foley?

  Slow counting, there you go.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Throwing, throwing a lot of money at her. Hurry up, you bitch!

• 46:50H. Foley?

  Hey, fucking counting everything. What is it, supermarket sweeps? Let's go!

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 46:55H. Foley?

  It's fucking.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  That's why as a gentleman on the road, I do it, if I, if I'm like, "Hey, I'm headed up," I do it. I do it right in front of everybody. "Hey, Judge, I know you're all thinking the same thing. I'll even get Lukey Patooki hop over there." But he's doing something a little more... I'm going a little more crazy than Luke.

• 47:12H. Foley?

  You do a grab bag of fucking Haribo and a big water.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  I'll do a big, I can't be like some big water.

• 47:18H. Foley?

  Up there doing.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  I'll do a Gatorade, I'll do a Gatorade right away. Get the carbs in me for all, or get the electrolytes in me for all the fucking beers I had drank. Then I'll do a little, a big cold water for the night and the morning, so throughout the night. Probably a Diet Coke for my snacks, for my salty snacks, and I'm gonna get.

• 47:35H. Foley?

  Gummy bears for the bed.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  I'm gonna get maybe a pack of gummies.

• 47:38H. Foley?

  Always.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Not always.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Not always.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Luke, no, Luke fucking, and Luke's in there like, "I'll do a banana and..."

• 47:43Speaker 03

  No way!

• 47:44Speaker 02

  "These bananas aren't right."

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Off my chiva, I'm, I'm doing, I do my salty and sweet.

• 47:48H. Foley?

  I've seen you and Tommy get fruit from a hotel lobby and be like, "What the fuck is that?"

• 47:52Speaker 03

  That's a Tommy move, that's bullshit.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Idiots.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  The most, I've never done that. The most I do is a banana.

• 47:57H. Foley?

  That's for fucking Magnum Ice Cream Bars.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Get a little sweet treat for the boy.

• 48:02H. Foley?

  Those things are thick cut.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  This is slander. I always do my salty and sweet.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  I'll eat about 3,000 calories in bed and then go night night. A little bit of forensic files on the, on the tube. Hey, you wake up, think I'm in the crime scene?

• 48:17H. Foley?

  Have the case pan out.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck. Alright, let's see. Um, this one's from Max. This is something I don't think we've ever dissected. $10 home slice. Were you a Pop Secret or a Reddenbacher family? Which is trashier?

• 48:32H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  I think Pop Secret was trashier. That was like the new age.

• 48:35H. Foley?

  That came around later. Reddenbacher was the OG.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  They were in the stove top ones you could do.

• 48:41H. Foley?

  You, no, you guys don't remember.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  See if we can get years on Pop's, Pop Secret and Reddenbacher.

• 48:45H. Foley?

  Over Reddenbacher was definitely banging way before.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  I'm just asking.

• 48:48H. Foley?

  The original was, uh, god damn it, the stove pop. You don't remember that? Jiffy pop. Do you remember that?

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Nah, that was, that shit was gone by the time.

• 48:56H. Foley?

  That was like a-

• 48:57Speaker 02

  We had microwaves.

• 48:58H. Foley?

  Fucking nuclear, dude, that, I'd never seen a babysitter not burn the shit out of that and almost burn the fucking kitchen down and scare the shit out of the dog.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:07H. Foley?

  Every time. That stuff was dry.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  I never had it. I don't know.

• 49:12H. Foley?

  It's like Northern California in the fucking late summer. There was no oil or nothing.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Sure. We were, we were back and forth, but I think, uh-

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Excuse me.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  I think Pop Secret was a little bit lighter in cal, like, or like fat free. They had a little more-

• 49:27H. Foley?

  Uh, they did start with that.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  And I think in the 90s, I think we were all like, you know, whatever. It was like a more of a health conscious vendor.

• 49:32H. Foley?

  And then movie popcorn filtered in through the blockbusters and the west coast videos and the-

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Was that the bags you would buy there?

• 49:39H. Foley?

  No, that was the, they were mic, they were microwave.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:41H. Foley?

  And then it just went full on with that shit. Triple butter, double butter.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  We were pops, we were more Pop Secret for sure.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  The popcorn games kinda new. Orville was, uh, launched to the public in 1969.

• 49:53H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  And then Pop-

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Seems like he's from the 20s.

• 49:56Speaker 03

  I know. And then Pop Secret was from 1986.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were a secret family.

• 50:00H. Foley?

  Holy shit. Yeah, that was like, that was like the snack well. That was lighter, I think, to begin with.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 50:06H. Foley?

  Supposed to be lighter.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  What?

• 50:08H. Foley?

  The pop secret.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  The pop was like the, it's half the calories or something.

• 50:10H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  But what we would do, first my stepdad did this, one, I didn't even know we had it in the spice drawer. It was, uh, he had cheddar cheese spice. Did you ever have that? We only ever had like, one thing of it.

• 50:23H. Foley?

  They sell them at the movies now. They sell the whole little bottle of it where you sprinkle it on. You know what I'm talking about? It looks like a little salt and pepper.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  I know what you're saying now, yeah.

• 50:32Speaker 02

  And he would, I found one time, we were like, why? He's like, I'll make some popcorn. He's probably watching me. We're like, gonna put on.

• 50:37H. Foley?

  He never put a finger on what the fucking, what the flavor. Why does he make it so good?

• 50:41Speaker 02

  No, and he's like dumping. I was like, what the hell is that? He's like bright, it was like powdered cheese whiz, it looked like. You know what I mean? Like that color. Just said cheddar cheese. And man, I did not turn back. Once I realized that was a fun time snack for the boy. I get home from fucking school, no one's home, pop me a bag, rip it open.

• 51:02H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Then I ran out of that. And then there was like salt and pepper, Old Bay, whatever we need, a little bit of garlic powder, something, something to fucking take the edge off me. Yeah. We were fucking doing it.

• 51:17H. Foley?

  The end, you were just putting fucking nutmeg and dill on there.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  I was.

• 51:21H. Foley?

  Feel something.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  That was, I mean, that was for me, because you all, we always have popcorn, like, well, you buy a 12 pack of popcorn, that lasts like a year. So like when it, when the shelves would get bare for a fat little kid, and I ate everybody else's bagels, I fucking, that was a game changer.

• 51:37H. Foley?

  Bag of microwave popcorn, straighten you right out.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  Huge cold frickin' cola.

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Crunching.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Man.

• 51:44H. Foley?

  I used to melt my own butter and pour it on it.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  I, once I got older, did that too.

• 51:47H. Foley?

  I got busted a couple of times doing that. My mom was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

• 51:51Speaker 03

  How young were you?

• 51:52H. Foley?

  Young.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Still in the womb.

• 51:55H. Foley?

  Young enough, young enough to work the microwave. Once I figured that out, do my own things, yeah, it was bad.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  I remember being-

• 52:02H. Foley?

  You'd hear it sizzle when you poured it all there.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  I remember being so young, working the microwave that I'd have to jump up on the counter because I couldn't reach it. Because it was like a hanging one above the stove and I couldn't reach the buttons. And I'd have to pu- like, barely had the body strength to- I must have been five.

• 52:19H. Foley?

  Like a chimpanzee?

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I could ba- I remember have to like, you know, throw your leg up and I would like get my knee up on the thing and I'd get up on the ca- it was l- it was-

• 52:28H. Foley?

  Fall in the sink.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  My mom, I got into it with my mom last time I saw her. We were talking about something of like-

• 52:33H. Foley?

  Are you still doing this?

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Get your fetish is gonna break the camera.

• 52:37H. Foley?

  Goddamn, four mica.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  No. When she- and she even said, it was one of those things of like, uh, you know, because obviously doing the show, it's brought a lot of mem- like, we've- a lot of memories have gone public.

• 52:49H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Or not being around that much.

• 52:51H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 52:52Speaker 02

  So she got a little, she's like, we were talking about kids that got picked up from the school bus. There's like a theory, I forget who it was, but it's a theory of like, if you, if you carry your kids' school bag, if you pick your kids up from school and then immediately take their school bag, there's this thing where you're like, you're making them pussies a little bit.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 53:11H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, let them struggle, don't, you know, like, whatever. I don't know, it's just like one of those like weird-

• 53:17H. Foley?

  Humping that thing at the end of the day.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  And I was like, I was to- and she's like, I would carry your school bag? I go, when the fuck were you ever waiting for me at the bus stop? And she's like-

• 53:30H. Foley?

  You owed her money.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she's like, well, when I was there, maybe I would ca- and I'm like, she like, she admitted that I was like, I don't ever, maybe when I was like kindergarten, maybe first grade, some.

• 53:44H. Foley?

  The books got out of control, I don't know if that was for you guys, the books got out of control for my generation around like sixth, seventh, eighth grade, where it was fucking, every day it was this huge fucking sticking out school bag. It was like ninety, it was like fucking in the Marines, like humping a rucksack.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  Sure, sure.

• 54:03H. Foley?

  And man, dragging that fucking thing into the house.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:06H. Foley?

  That's why when I got to high school, fucking, never had a book, maybe two, you know what I mean? Throw a pencil in there, how you doing? Fucking, that was it.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was a-

• 54:15H. Foley?

  Brutal. I didn't know that was a theory.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  Something like that, or is it-

• 54:19H. Foley?

  That's big now.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  That might be like a gar- well, I think it goes back to that like-

• 54:22H. Foley?

  Gary Brekka? Gary V?

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Gary V. I don't know, I'm applying that to, I don't know, but it's like, we're pussifying our kids by letting, by taking all of their struggle away from them.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  Participation trophy-esque.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  It's that kinda world where it's like, fucking let them-

• 54:35H. Foley?

  You got a couple of them hanging on the wall, I'm sure.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, you definitely did.

• 54:40H. Foley?

  You definitely did.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  We would get, we'd never a participation, probably like a first, second, third, but that's standard. Like, oh, he came-

• 54:46H. Foley?

  First, second, third?

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, he came in second place, whatever, whatever.

• 54:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  But we never had participation. Nothing.

• 54:52H. Foley?

  That's fucking his generation.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  Maybe at the-

• 54:54Speaker 03

  There was a cup, but like, not really. People were pretty against him.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not my cup of tea. I don't know, whatever. Give, take it, don't take it.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Ah, yeah, also it's like, who the fuck cares? Give the kid a trophy. Everyone, everyone needs to win eventually.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  That's true. Yeah, I lie to myself from time to time.

• 55:10H. Foley?

  He's got my, he's got my ass kicked out there. Carry this bookbag for me, will you? Make with the pop secret.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Uh, um, alright, let's see here. Is it, is this from CS? Is it garbage if I out of myself for being high as shit? Cause I tried to make hard boiled eggs and thought I could hear the chicken screaming from being boiled alive?

• 55:32Speaker 02

  You're on fucking-

• 55:32H. Foley?

  Like a lobster?

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're on Neptune if you think that. You're smoking the fucking Panama Red.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  Joey Diaz's Stars of Death. Did you see that?

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fucking out there. But I get it, if you get that in your head and you're fucked up. Yeah. Duck it off.

• 55:47H. Foley?

  Do you remember the first, have you ever heard a lobster going down?

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:50H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  It's, they say it's just the air releasing from like the shells, it's not them screaming.

• 55:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's what they tell ya.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  It's also like, whatever, draw the lines at lobsters. It's like, you think the, the fucking hamburgers I'm eating like getting fucking whacked upside the head? I have fucking a pound of bacon this morning.

• 56:05H. Foley?

  Fucking Anton Chigurh hitting them.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, listen, I'll, I'll, whoa, whoa.

• 56:10H. Foley?

  But the first time you hear a lobster or a crab go down, that's really when you become a fucking-

• 56:14Speaker 02

  No, that didn't-

• 56:15H. Foley?

  Become a man. Didn't faze ya?

• 56:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 56:18H. Foley?

  Probably eating somebody else's lobster.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  I mean, first of all, I don't know what family you're, I mean, the first time I saw a lobster cooked, I had cooked a lobster in my thirties.

• 56:28H. Foley?

  Really?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:29H. Foley?

  Every New Year's Eve, we'd have a little lobster or a crab. Something.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Or crab. Crabs don't squeal.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  They say something. Gibby!

• 56:38Speaker 02

  And they don't, crabs don't do it.

• 56:39H. Foley?

  You sure?

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Positive.

• 56:40H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  Um-

• 56:43Speaker 02

  And yeah, no, we were not a lobster family. The only time my stepdad would do lobster would be at Outback. He would do like the surf and turf.

• 56:50H. Foley?

  The tail.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  And then sit there and pick his teeth with the toothpick from his martini.

• 56:55H. Foley?

  I thought you meant the claw.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  He said it was a cig holder. That was fun. We did that in college. They put cigs in the crab. We have like a crab boil. They put a cig in it and they fucking, they just immediately pull it to their face. Like, oh, little crab catching eaters. They're not cute.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  Oh, man. Alright, let's see here. We got time for one more. Um, this one's pretty, this is from $10 Northeast PA Bozette.

• 57:22H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  Shout out to the big man's old turf.

• 57:24H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  Well, it's there.

• 57:26H. Foley?

  Screaming.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Is it garbage to take a free calendar left by a vendor at work and give it to your kid as a Christmas gift?

• 57:31H. Foley?

  Ouch.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  That's, that's from Mrs. T. That's a...

• 57:35H. Foley?

  What's the vendor? Like an auto body shop?

• 57:38Speaker 02

  It's gonna be anything. It could be like office supplies. It could be fucking paint. That's what those vendors do. We had a lot of, that to me, growing up as a kid whose dad had a construction, that the vendor swag was the coolest to me. Cause they were like, nobody in the office wanted it to be cali- there's just this. I go, oh, is it a calendar here? Or just anything.

• 57:57H. Foley?

  Little knapsack?

• 57:58Speaker 02

  T-shirt, a pen, a fucking, something fucking cool.

• 58:02H. Foley?

  I don't know, a calendar.

• 58:03Speaker 02

  But as a Christmas gift, just give it to the fucking kid.

• 58:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Who opens that up? Oh, what I always wanted.

• 58:10H. Foley?

  I wanna know what taxes are due? Get the fuck out of here with this.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  Spark plugs.

• 58:13H. Foley?

  Yeah, something sweet.

• 58:14Speaker 03

  I mean, that's gotta be like, that's like one of like 10 gifts, right?

• 58:17Speaker 02

  I would assume, but still, just give it to the fucking kid.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  This is why they've been slow that year. Who knows?

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Give it to them a week before.

• 58:24H. Foley?

  Get that in a sanding belt.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  Were you a calendar family?

• 58:27H. Foley?

  What?

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  I mean, once the, the kids were born.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  Really? Before that?

• 58:33H. Foley?

  No.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  We had one hanging.

• 58:34H. Foley?

  Patty had one for her bills.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, we had one hanging. You didn't have that one hanging anywhere in the house?

• 58:39H. Foley?

  I didn't know what was going on. Uh-uh. She kept that down with her, all of her stuff where she would do her bills on Sundays.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  We had one hanging.

• 58:45H. Foley?

  We never had calendars hanging.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Hanging at my mom's.

• 58:47H. Foley?

  It's like a casino in my house. No clocks or nothing.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  They pumped in fresh air and air. Smoke, smoking section.

• 58:54H. Foley?

  Fucking buffet was always going.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  Bunch of Chinese guys playing pig out in the corner.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, we gotta wrap it up, gag.

• 59:03H. Foley?

  Gag, what a fun one. Get over and check out that Patreon. Check out the...

• 59:07Speaker 02

  Are you garbage and friends?

• 59:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, we love you and we'll see you next week.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Peace.