The Three Rules

The Three Rules Join us for this episode where you learn the three most important rules to bring you love light and happiness in your personal and professional life. - [website] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.agiledad.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.agiledad.com/ - [instagram] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/agile_coach/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.instagram.com/agile_coach/ - [facebook] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/RealAgileDad/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.facebook.com/RealAgileDad/ - [Linkedin] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/leehenson/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/leehenson/

• 0:15Speaker 00

  We made it through another week. It's Friday and it's time for our Agile Not So Agile Podcast, the daily stand-up episode. And what I can tell you is this week I saved something pretty cool. So one of the things I talk about frequently in my class is how to engage people, whether it's family, friends, people at work, how to engage and what rules or boundaries should you set? And I try to tell people if you set three really clear boundaries, that everything else just kind of falls into place. So I wanted to talk to you today about those three rules and see how you might be able to apply them at home, at work, wherever you are. It's just three simple rules. So let's go through each one and we can have a little discussion about them.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Rule number one. Rule number one is an easy one. Rule number one is called the rule of respect. And the way rule number one works is I'm not going to raise my voice to you, to anyone around you, to your friends. I'm not going to raise my voice to anyone. And my expectation is that you're not going to raise your voice to me. It's a mutual respect rule. And the reason why I implemented this rule and the reason why I admire it so much, it's probably out of all my rules, my most important one, is that if we treat each other with dignity and respect, we're going to be treated with dignity and respect in return. So it's one of those things that kind of establishes the playing field. And that way if new friends come into the picture, new people come into the picture, you know, new people enter our circle of friends, or whatever the case may be, they know that when dealing with me,

• 1:45Speaker 00

  that I'm going to walk away from and not tolerate anything that's loud or obnoxious. And my expectation is that they're not going to behave that way with me. So that's number one right out of the gate. Number two is as long as you're honest and truthful with me, there will never be a consequence of any kind. What do I mean by that? Well, there's so many things that are out there that cause people to tell mis-truths and it drives me crazy. For me, I want people to be forthright, honest. I want them to tell me exactly what's going on. So that we can, we can, we can adjust, we can pivot, we can figure things out. There's no problem that we can't solve. And I don't care whether it's friends, partners at work, whoever it is, I always have the same rule. That if you come in and you're honest with me and say, hey,

• 2:28Speaker 00

  I messed up. This is what happened. There will never be a side effect, never be a consequence, there'll never be a punishment, there'll never be a judgment. And I'll take your side and I'll be like, okay, what can we do to make this right? What can we do to get it going again? And what I'm trying to tell you is there's so many organizations and so many people that will behave differently if everyone had that same value. Unfortunately, one of the things that we've been taught throughout our life is that, oh, a small lie isn't going to hurt anything. And that's not true. The more dishonest we are, small lies turn into big lies and big lies turn into additional lies. And I learned a very, very valuable piece of information. And I learned this from my father. So here's what my dad had to say. He said, Lee, he says, it's a lot easier to tell a truth than it is to lie.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Because if you always tell the truth, you'll never have to remember what story you told last time. And I just, I can't get past that. That's absolutely 100% true. There should never be a repercussion. You should always be honest and everything should flow very, very well. And rule number three, another, another one that seems so simple and so basic is that where I live and what I practice is a judgment free zone. And what I mean by that is, no one will ever be judged in my presence. There will, there'll never be any prejudice. I don't care how tall you are, how short you are, skinny, how fat, the color of your skin, who you love, who you worship. None of that matters to me. It's always going to be a judgment free zone. And I expect in return that you treat me and all the people

• 3:56Speaker 00

  that I associate with, with that same judgment free zone mentality. And I think that that one's often hard for people because it requires you to think a little harder. It requires you to be a little more respectful. It requires a little more courtesy. It requires a little more dignity. And what I found is that those things, those traits are rare in the world today. And it's, it's kind of shocking that people just don't realize this. So my hope is that as you go through and progress and do things, whether it's with your family, with your friends, that you'll honor those three rules. And I'm going to give you a little bonus tip here. One of the things that I've been thinking a lot about lately is the law of trust. And let me explain to you what I mean by that.

• 4:36Speaker 00

  There's two different ways to approach trust. So I have some of my friends who say, I will give you every 100%, 100% every ounce of my trust upfront. And if you betrayed my trust, heaven forbid, it's going to be almost impossible for you to earn it back. And then the other way is, you know what? I walk on eggshells. I'm a little bit more cautious. But once, once you, once you've earned my trust, you know, then, then it's there to stay. And I think both have their purpose and both are good. It's just a different application for each one. So I think it's important for us to figure out where we stand on that trust wagon and what we'll do for others. Now, if you put all that together, that's going to give you some keys that'll help you better navigate and situate things in a way that

• 5:18Speaker 00

  people will better understand you, you'll be more trusted, people will behave good around you, and it'll allow you to have better relationships with friends, family, peers, whoever it is you're trying to have a relationship with. We're going to keep it short and sweet. That's going to do it for this episode. If you have a topic you want us to discuss, learn more at agiledad.com. We would love to hear from you. And as always, we encourage you to stay healthy, stay well, and stay agile, my friends. Until next week, do take care. Bye now.