Stop Caring: The Art of Not Giving a Sh*t

My new book Own Or Be Owned is out now! I wrote Own or Be Owned to answer one question: how do you make more money, less miserably? I broke it into the 12 Profit Levers… the 12 levers I've seen determine whether you print cash or hate your life. Check it out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/stopcaring You've been telling yourself the same story. That you need everyone to believe in you. That you need permission to go big. That if you just explain yourself better, the haters will finally understand. Here's the truth: the only thing between you and the life you want is believing you need approval from people who aren't even in the arena. This episode breaks down why the exact thing people make fun of you for is probably what they wish they were doing instead, how to stop giving everyone equal voting rights over your life, and the hidden cost of caring what people think. From Kanye's refusal to defend himself to Dolly Parton being criticized for her wigs, you'll learn why greatness has been annoying people since 1841, how to tell whose opinion actually matters, and why the best defense in the world is winning so big that other people can't keep your name out of their mouth. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the people who applaud you at the beginning are usually strangers, not friends and family, and how most people don't actually want you to be great because your success reminds them of their own inaction The board of directors principle: how to stop internalizing criticism by asking four questions before you let someone's opinion affect you, and why most people don't deserve voting rights in your life Why every clap back steals creative energy from you and pours it into someone who creates nothing, and how the real players aren't even listening to the sound of the crowd at all The energy vampire framework: how hanging out with people who diminish you is like holding a puppy by the tail while it tries to run, and why you're the average of the five people you surround yourself with and what they expect from you Why haters don't waste time on people who aren't building something big, how being alone at the top means you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and why the goal isn't to stop caring what people think but to stop letting what people think decide what you do ___________ (00:00:00) Introduction: One Person's Opinion Away From Quitting (00:01:05) The Time Is Now: Kanye on Being Okay With Greatness (00:01:55) Fear and Faith: Kanye's Miami Show Revelation (00:02:52) Steve Jobs Got Fired: Why Defense Doesn't Matter (00:03:22) Your Life Isn't a Test: Lil Wayne on Doing What You Feel (00:03:53) The Board of Directors Rule: Who Gets a Vote in Your Life (00:04:44) Dana White Energy: Being Good at Being an Enemy Too (00:06:03) Energy Vampires: Joe Rogan on Who You Hang Out With (00:07:49) Hope and Arrogance: Kanye on Faith Over Fear (00:11:24) The Mirror Test: Lil Wayne on Letting the World Be Your Mirror (00:12:50) Sleeping at the Top: Why Lonely Beats Nightmares at the Bottom (00:13:47) Now I'm Doing It Right: Giving Yourself Permission to Evolve (00:14:28) Haters Are a Compliment: Why Pushback Means You're Building Something Big (00:14:46) Dolly Parton's Choice: I Would Never Stoop So Low as to Be Fashionable (00:16:11) Closing: Naturally, Organically Amazing ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  The action's on the court and as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting fans closer to the game with a chance to win courtside seats, merch and more. Visit michelobultra.com/courtside to enter. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to US residents 21+ Begins on October 1st, 2026 and ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details.

• 0:30Codie Sanchez?

  Some of you are one person's opinion away from quitting something that could change your actual life. I have an entire folder on my iPhone, bullshit like this. Kanye, Lil Wayne, random dudes screaming into their phones, making me realize that sometimes you need somebody to remind you who the fuck you are. So this episode is for the next time they laugh at you, the next time the comments get nasty, the next time your family thinks you're insane, and the next time you fail. I'm Cody Sanchez. This is the Big Deal Podcast. Let's get into it because I am going to make you forget every hater that's come across your life.

• 1:08Codie Sanchez?

  Here's the weird part about success. The exact thing people make fun of you for is probably what they wish they were doing instead. I go back to the first moment that I got public on the internet. Do you know who applauded, who clapped for me? Wasn't my friends and family. It was strangers. Why? Because for some reason, most people actually do not want you to be great. And you have to say, fuck them and do it anyway. So I want to play something for you if right now you're sitting in a job you don't like, or in a career that you don't love, and you're scared of taking the leap.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  The time is now. The time is now to express and for people to believe in themselves. The time is now for it to be okay to be great. People in this world shun people for being great, for being a bright color, for standing out. But the time is now to be okay to be the greatest you.

• 2:03Codie Sanchez?

  It is great to be misunderstood. I love this because Emerson wrote that in 1841. And so apparently greatness has been annoying people forever. And so why are you expecting people to understand something that doesn't exist yet that you have in your mind that is an innovation that other people can't even imagine? And I want you to listen to this video for a second.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  I remember one time I was at a show in Miami. It was such a great show and I pictured it in the back of my mind. I'm like, what would happen if something happened to me tonight? And a glimmer of like fear came into my heart and I prayed and I apologized to God for being afraid of the possibility of going home to see him and that and, and he made me into one of his soldiers by taking that fear away from me. When you understand that your life is in God's hands and he can call you home at any time and he has a plan for you, then you won't be scared of things.

• 2:55Codie Sanchez?

  And I think you have to remember that. Like, are you saying the things so somebody who isn't going to buy from you, isn't going to applaud you, isn't going to stand beside you, likes you more? Or are you doing it because there's a higher purpose? Maybe it's God for you. That's what it is for me, like what Kanye talked about. Maybe it's because you have a vision for yourself in your life and it is so big that who fucking cares if you fail along the way? Who cares? At least you're actually trying something. If you actually want to achieve big things in life, you're going to get pushed out of companies like Steve Jobs, pushed out of the company he helped create, came back, built the most profitable company, maybe of all time, one of the biggest companies in the world. And I think most humans don't realize what it's going to take.

• 3:38Codie Sanchez?

  And they think that you have to defend yourself all the time. You don't. You know what the best defense in the world is? Winning's so big, other people can't keep your name out of their mouth. That's hot. And let me show you a clip that gets me riled up when somebody is doubting me.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  I ain't got to defend nothing. It's not a defense. You know, if every time someone asks you a question, you try to say the right answer, your entire life is a test? And when did you have the most anxiety in grammar school and high school? No question. On test day? No question. So your entire life become this test. I ain't trying to say the right answer. I am just doing what I feel. My mama said trying is failing. There is no ifs, woulds, coulds, shoulds. It just is and we just are.

• 4:23Codie Sanchez?

  He says it exactly right. He's like, who are you to give me a test in my life every single day? Why do you have that right? In fact, it's not just Kanye West who says it. Socrates actually says, "We should not heed the many but the one who understands." And that's the rule, is you gotta stop giving everyone equal voting rights over your life. Before you internalize somebody's criticism, ask, have they actually done what I'm trying to do? Are they affected by the decision? Do they actually want me to win? And do I care what they think? You know, if the answer is no, why the hell are you listening to them? They're not on the board of directors of your life. And I like to think about it like this. Every time there is a hater that comes after you,

• 5:08Codie Sanchez?

  they should also realize that you are a force to be reckoned with. Listen to Dana White talk about this.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Listen, if you want to be my friend, I'm the best friend you'll ever have. You want to be my enemy, I'm really good at being that too.

• 5:21Codie Sanchez?

  It's so good. You know what? We're so scared about what they think about us. What about, what do you think about them? What about all of this that they're pushing, putting back on you? What does that actually say about them? Let me tell you something. I had a guy come after me once, trying to say that I stole some of his ideas. I thought, that was crazy. I felt a little bad at first. I'm like, God, could I have? Did I? I go back and look. You know what I found? That motherfucker was stealing ideas for 10 years. Literally. Not just ideas, by the way, screenshots of images, videos from other people, actual quotes, actual photographs from them. Not ideas, they're things in the world.

• 6:02Codie Sanchez?

  So the people who are coming after you, are they just gaslighting you because you had less, but you've done more? Fuck you. I can't go bigger. I depend on you and your ideas. Are you crazy? I don't need you. You know how little I need you? I don't think about you at all. That's the type of energy I want you bringing in. Then I want you to think about something else. Even useless criticism can consume you. It turns out that if you hang out with fools, you might become one. I want you to listen to this from Joe Rogan.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  People think it's no big deal to hang out with idiots, but the problem is you're absorbing their energy. And instead of hanging out with really cool people and you absorb their energy and everybody like gets out of there feeling fucking great. Yeah. What a good time. What a good time.

• 6:48Speaker 05

  They just suck the energy.

• 6:49Speaker 04

  They suck it and they make it about them and they get negative and they're fucking passive aggressive and weird or whatever it is. It's like, I don't want to deal with him anymore, man.

• 6:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:59Codie Sanchez?

  I call them energy vampires. And I think you should put those people on trial. There is nothing in your life that says that just because you knew somebody once, you gotta stay with somebody forever. In fact, I think half the time, you, if you're doing it right, if you're really doing it right, you are going to grow so big that the people you started out with won't even recognize you and they'll hate you for it. And that's okay. You can still love them from afar and say, you're just not keeping up, man. I'm not going to run a 20-minute mile just because you haven't tried to hit seven minutes yet. It's not saying you gotta hit seven minutes, but I'm saying, I want

• 7:41Codie Sanchez?

  to see what this body, this mind, this life is capable of. And I want to put it all the way on red. I'm going to go all in. I'm going to bet on myself and my life. And if somebody else isn't willing to do that, then there's no problem. But don't try to hold somebody else back from it. Like, could you imagine? I want you to picture for a second. If you hang out with people that want to hold you back, I want you to picture it like a little puppy dog that wants to run, but somebody's holding it by the tail its whole life. Just holding it back. That little fucker wants to go run in that green grass and it can't because there's some jerk who says, I don't want to get up, so I'm going to hold you down. That's not the way this works.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  But I'd rather use arrogance than to let someone diminish my idea of myself because that is what keeps us going. Hope actually keeps us alive. Anybody, you ask, most people's like, do you want tomorrow to come? And they say, yes, they have, they have hope for it. But I went from having confidence and arrogance to having faith. And faith is the opposite of fear. And that created this fearless approach that I have. And that's what made, now has made me the fearless leader that I am.

• 8:51Codie Sanchez?

  I want you to think about that for a second. It doesn't mean you're arrogant just because you're pushing back. It means that maybe you believe in yourself. And when did that become such a bad thing? And by the way, who does it hurt? You know, some people don't deserve to be held back. Some people don't deserve to hold you back because their belief in themselves is so low that they have none in you either. In fact, I think that saying that you're the average of the five people you surround yourself with is wrong. I think it is, yes, you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with and what they expect from you. That's why it's so much worse than that. And I think the other thing we got to realize is a lot of times people will say, well, why don't you clap back to people on the internet? Have you ever asked yourself that?

• 9:36Codie Sanchez?

  Like, God, that hater did this. I wish I could clap back. I wish I could got them. I have that same reaction too. It's that ego that that drums up, that gets me mad and wants to go after somebody. But here's the thing, every clap back, every word has a cost. I'm taking my creative energy, my time, and I'm piling it into somebody who is creating nothing, who probably will never create anything. They're just there to not only steal the energy from you, but also to steal the creativity right out of you. And so I know that it's hard to not clap back, to not pay them back because we're scared they might be right. So let's fight. But the real truth is, the real players, they just aren't even listening to the sound of the crowd at all.

• 10:21Codie Sanchez?

  Okay, I think you're gonna have a moment where somebody tries to bully you into being less than. See, my belief is that I'm going to bully you into believing in yourself, building a business, having a partner and making your body just as strong as your bank account. That's the type of bully I want to be. Like, how many times have you let yourself be bullied into being less than? Even the CEO of Shopify, Toby, who is an incredible entrepreneur, built a multi-billion dollar business. He used to talk about how he was scared of public speaking. Why? Because other people could judge him immediately and he'd have to stand there and take it. And so he used to write out hundreds and hundreds of times, I love public speaking. I love public speaking. I love public speaking.

• 11:06Codie Sanchez?

  He was trying to rewrite his neural pathways to believe in himself. Because it's not that just like not caring is gonna be hard for you. And it's not telling yourself, I'm amazing and everyone else is stupid. It's realizing that even if they're right about you, even if you suck at public speaking, even if your business never takes off, you did it. You survived and you're not gonna die. You might embarrass yourself, your company might fail, they might laugh, and you might have to start again, but you're still here. So actually, at the end of the day, I think that's winning anyway. I actually think one of the best at this is Lil Wayne. So I want you to think about a concept that he calls the mirror. And I know sometimes the mirror can be scary. We don't always love our reflection there.

• 11:50Codie Sanchez?

  But think about how this guy thinks about this, and I think you might like it.

• 11:54Speaker 06

  Be somebody, be something more than what you see in the mirror. Let the world be your mirror. Don't let them judge you because the mirror can't judge you. You judge what you see in the mirror.

• 12:04Codie Sanchez?

  Like, who's the person looking back? It's really just you. And this guy's wild because Lil Wayne went through lawsuits and depositions and loss of loved ones and growing up in poverty, making terrible decisions, getting arrested, being in the court of public opinion. And also one of the greatest rappers of all time. And I, I think what you gotta realize is you're probably never going to make it, quote unquote, to this like perfect space at the top where you are, are untouchable. You're not. But let me tell you something, for all those fuckers that say that it is better for you to play small, don't take too much risk, you know, keep it tight. No, no, no. Let me tell you that there's a real difference between the top and the bottom, and the bottom sucks more.

• 12:49Codie Sanchez?

  I've been there many, many times. I've lost millions. I've failed publicly. I've been divorced. I've been disgraced. I've been kicked out of companies. And every single time, I remember this. I'm still here, motherfucker. You got, you haven't got me yet. Like, don't try to convince people with your words, convince them with your receipts. You don't need these people to understand the plan. Just build anyway. And when you're scared about failing, think about how much better it is to dream at the top than the bottom like this.

• 13:20Speaker 06

  Sleeping at the top with nightmares at the bottom. Everybody says lonely at the top. It is lonely. So I dream though. And the only thing I dream about is being down there with the people that ain't lonely.

• 13:32Codie Sanchez?

  Think about that for a second. He says, it is lonely at the top, but when I dream, I remember being down at the bottom. And I thank God that I'm alone at the top. Why? Because it's going to be lonely when there aren't as many people doing the big ridiculous thing that only you can do. When you've pushed past the misery and the pain that took to get there. So thank God you're alone. That's how it's supposed to be. So maybe in this moment, you're like watching this because something didn't work out. Maybe somebody said no to you. You posted something, everybody hated it. Maybe somebody you love thinks you're making a huge mistake. Maybe they left you, fired you, kicked you out. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong, but this clip is what I remind myself of every time I think I might have gone wrong.

• 14:17Speaker 06

  I'm not saying I didn't do nothing wrong, but now I'm doing it right. That's all we say. Cash money, baby saying money is whose sum. Fuck how we used to be, now we have a need to be.

• 14:29Codie Sanchez?

  Like, could you give yourself that? Maybe you did it wrong, but you're not doing it wrong anymore. Like, you're exactly where you need to be. You don't need everyone to believe in you. You don't need most people to understand you. You need to know whose opinion gets the biggest vote, and that's you in the mirror. And you also need to realize you're right where you're supposed to be. And so all the people telling you things are not the people that have to have that impact on their life, so fuck them. And I think at the end of the day, what I try to realize now is haters don't hate on people they don't think have something. They don't waste their time on somebody who isn't building something big. If you're all alone and nobody is there pushing back on you, I don't know.

• 15:14Codie Sanchez?

  Maybe you're not doing anything that interesting. And so instead, be super grateful. Dolly Parton died recently. Dolly Parton, like, everybody loved, the left, the right, the up, the down. But if you go watch historical clips on, of her, watch this one of Barbara Walters asking her why she dresses like that? And is that a choice? You don't have to look like this. You're very beautiful. You don't have to wear the blonde wigs. You don't have to wear the extreme clothes, right? No, it's, it's certainly a choice. I don't like to be like everybody else. I've often made this statement that I would never stoop so low as to be fashionable. That's the easiest thing in the world to do. So I just decided that I would do something that would at least get the attention.

• 15:55Codie Sanchez?

  Once they got past the shock of the ridiculous way I looked and all that, then they would see there was a part of me to be appreciated. I'm very real where it counts, and that's inside and as far as my outlook on life and the way I care about people and the way I care about myself. This woman used to get shit on all the time. She used to have haters, haters nonstop. And now she's like one of the most beloved people on the internet. So you need the courage to do what you need to do. The confidence to keep walking when everybody else tells you to stop. Because the goal isn't actually to stop caring what people think. The goal is to stop letting what people think decide what you do. That is the point. Now you go do the thing.

• 16:37Codie Sanchez?

  I'm gonna leave you on this clip from Lil Wayne that makes me chuckle every time.

• 16:41Speaker 06

  I am naturally, organically, amazingly, I'm one of a kind.

• 16:47Codie Sanchez?

  I think you're pretty amazing. I'll see you next week.

• 16:56Speaker 05

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.