This Is Why You Shouldn’t Be Jealous | A Proper Frame Of Mind

Imagine the jealousy that they must have felt. Hadrian was gifting the purple—the job of the emperor—to a teenager he wasn’t even related to. In 138 AD, his succession plan involved adopting Antoninus Pius who in turn was to adopt young Marcus Aurelius so that he would one day become the most powerful man in the world. How many Romans hated Marcus for this? How many distant relatives of Hadrian thought themselves more qualified, more entitled to it? And how many people disliked Marcus throughout the years simply because he seemed to have a perfect life—a happy family, a great reputation, perfect character.-In today's Daily Stoic Journal excerpt, Ryan reminds us to free ourselves now while we still have time. How much longer will we be tied up in impulses? We are independent self-efficient people who must remain free and slaves to power. Grab a hard copy of The Daily Stoic Journal here or grab the leatherbound edition. ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from The Daily Stoic, my book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn these words into works.

• 0:41Ryan Holiday?

  This is why you shouldn't be jealous. Imagine the jealousy they must have felt. Hadrian was gifting the purple, the job of the emperor, to a teenager he wasn't even related to. In 138 A.D., his succession plan involved adopting Antoninus Pius, who in turn was to adopt young Marcus Aurelius, so that he would one day become the most powerful man in the world. How many Romans hated Marcus for this? How many distant relatives of Hadrian thought themselves more qualified, more entitled to it? And how many people disliked Marcus throughout the year, simply because he seemed to have a perfect life, a happy family, a great reputation, perfect character? Yet Marcus Aurelius's story is also a great reminder of why we should not

• 1:23Ryan Holiday?

  be jealous, why we should remember Salon's advice to Croesus, "to count no man as happy until he has died." Because how did Marcus Aurelius's perfect reign go? As we have detailed here before many times, it was one disaster after another, plagues and floods and wars. Sure, fate and fortune and luck had handed Marcus incredible gifts, but the man also buried a half dozen children. This was a man who was betrayed. This was a man who was in so much pain from a medical condition that he was regularly prescribed opium. He had a real rough go of it, is what I'm saying. Most of us would count ourselves lucky not to live through half of that. The point is, we wish for others' fate and fortune at our peril. Jealousy and envy rarely see the full picture rarely taken to account all the

• 2:08Ryan Holiday?

  costs, past and future, that go along with something. And besides, it's pointless. We have our life, our fate. We have our own happiness to attend to. And Marcus's life should humble us. None of us know how our story will end, what tragedies or obstacles lay ahead. Focus on the present moment, the good you have at hand now. Don't ignore them while pining for someone else's.

• 2:43Ryan Holiday?

  This is the February 2nd entry from The Daily Stoic, a proper frame of mind. I'm reading in my bedroom. My kids are sleeping next door. I'm reading from a hardcover edition of The Daily Stoic, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, because this is the only one I had with us where we are. And I guess there's the leather bound one you can grab too. That's a little, stands the test of time a little bit better. But today's quote comes from Meditations 2:2, the one and only Marcus Aurelius. "Frame your thoughts like this," he says, "you are an old person. You won't let yourself be enslaved

• 3:24Ryan Holiday?

  by this any longer, no longer pulled like a puppet by every impulse, and you'll stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future." We resent the person who comes in and tries to boss us around. "Don't tell me how to dress, how to think, how to do my job, how to live." This is because we are independent, self-sufficient people, or at least that's what we tell ourselves. Yet if someone says something we disagree with, something inside us tells us we have to argue with them. If there's a plate of cookies in front of us, we have to eat them. If someone does something we dislike, we have to get mad about it. When something bad happens, we have to be sad, depressed, or worried.

• 4:05Ryan Holiday?

  But if something good happens, a few minutes later, all of a sudden, we're happy, excited, and want more. We would never let another person jerk us around the way we let our impulses do. It's time we start seeing it that way, that we are not puppets that can be made to dance this way or that way just because we feel like it. We should be the ones in control, not our emotions, because we are independent, self-sufficient people. And I guess Seneca would say, are we really independent, self-sufficient people? He says, "Show me a man, show me a person who isn't a slave." He says, "You know, this person's a slave to their mistress, that person's a slave

• 4:45Ryan Holiday?

  to ambition, this person, a slave to power or status," or, you know, "all the things," right? How many of us are slaves to coffee, slaves to our schedules, slaves to, you know, outrage points, slaves to the news? Just slaves to stuff. We're just hooked, right? We're just hooked. It's in charge, right? My phone's in the other room, thankfully, because it makes this statement a little bit more powerful. You go, you know, who's in charge? Are you using the phone, or is the phone using you, right? Do you have social media accounts? Or do those social media accounts have you? And so, the way in which we're jerked around, we're not actually in control.

• 5:30Ryan Holiday?

  Wretched habit is in control, as the Stoics would say. That is not freedom. So, it doesn't matter if you're rich, or powerful, or important, or, you know, legally, you can do whatever you want. You actually can't. You're not in control, you're not self-sufficient, you're not free. You know, I've talked about this before, but, you know, Epictetus is in Rome roughly the same time as Seneca, and they're both adjacent to Nero and Nero's palace. Epictetus is owned by one of Nero's secretaries. Seneca is Nero's advisor.

• 6:06Ryan Holiday?

  Epictetus is literally a slave, but in some ways, he's more free than Seneca, who tries to quit working for Nero at one point and can't, and then is ultimately killed by Nero. But Epictetus looks around and he just sees, he sees these people are not self-sufficient. They are not free because although they are powerful and important, it's their ambition, it's their ego, it's all these other things that make... He sees someone sucking up to Nero's cobbler at one point, right? He realizes that, that the powerful, important people in Nero's court are slaves, just as Seneca was saying they were. And then he extrapolates out, like even just regular people in regular life,

• 6:50Ryan Holiday?

  you know, people who have, who are controlled by their temper, people who are controlled by their base, you know, physical urges, right? People who can't not do stuff because their body, or habit, or impulse, or their emotion tells them to do something, right? That's what Marcus Aurelius is trying to free us of. Seneca talks about how if you handed your body over to someone, you'd be livid. But then you hand your peace of mind over to people all the time. And so we can imagine Marcus himself struggling with this. He's saying, "You're an old person. How much longer are you going to be tied up in these impulses? In these habits, in this way of living?

• 7:36Ryan Holiday?

  You gotta free yourself now while you still can." And that's today's message as we start a new year. This is obviously something we should all be thinking about and trying to work on. How free are we really? How self-sufficient are we? Who's in charge? Us, or the urges us, or the emotions us, or the habits? And let's free ourselves and set up that proper frame of mind while we can.

• 8:12Ryan Holiday?

  Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it and I'll see you next episode.