#2415 - Adam Ray

Adam Ray is a comic, actor, and the host of the podcast "About Last Night." Catch his latest special, "Adam Ray is Dr. Phil Unleashed" on Netflix, and see him live on tour. https://adamraycomedy.com/ www.youtube.com/@adamraycomedywww.youtube.com/c/AboutLastNightPodcast Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Get a free welcome kit with your first subscription of AG1 at https://drinkag1.com/joerogan This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/JRE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  The Joe Rogan Experience.

• 0:17Joe Rogan?

  Part of it was Roland, Adam Ray, my man.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  Great to see ya.

• 0:20Joe Rogan?

  Guest of the year, Kill Tony, how's it feel?

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Feels great.

• 0:24Joe Rogan?

  Did you get a belt or anything, some sort of a cup?

• 0:26Speaker 02

  I should've.

• 0:26Joe Rogan?

  Some sort of a cup, like a Stanley Cup?

• 0:28Speaker 02

  Tony, always shortchanging the gifts.

• 0:30Joe Rogan?

  That motherfucker.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  That was the last time I saw ya, I think.

• 0:32Joe Rogan?

  You should get a jacket, that's what it should be.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  That's not a great idea.

• 0:35Joe Rogan?

  That's a great idea.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  We made these for the end of the Phil, Dr. Phil tour, which by the way, we have our very last one at the Wiltern on December 16th, if anyone wants to...

• 0:43Joe Rogan?

  Have you ever had Dr. Phil on as a guest?

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Yes, member for the Netflix special.

• 0:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. It was so funny, we were in the green room, I met him like an hour before and he goes, "Now, it's your show, but I'm gonna fuck with you." And I'm dressed as him and I go, "Well, I know you better than you know yourself, motherfucker, so strap in." And he was like, "Oh shit." And he was dying to laugh. But the last time I saw you, I think I was Tony, right?

• 1:06Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  At the mothership.

• 1:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, the difference is like, doing it on your show, when you're doing the Dr. Phil show.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's a different thing.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  I felt oddly, you know, the whole show's improvised, so it's a wild thing to do an unscripted show with somebody you have no rapport with.

• 1:22Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  When I've had...

• 1:24Joe Rogan?

  And you're doing an impression of him.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Totally. So I'm trying to go, I think everything I'm gonna do is hunky-dory with him, but like, I don't know if I'm gonna press the wrong button, like at one point, I think we, he said something where I go, I go, "Well, marriage is tough." I go, "But we keep it fresh in the bedroom, right?" And he goes, "Okay, well, you watch yourself."

• 1:45Speaker 02

  I was like, "We don't use butt plugs?" But he was, he was such a, he rolled with everything, man.

• 1:50Joe Rogan?

  I'm good friends with his son.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Jordan?

• 1:53Joe Rogan?

  Jay.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  I've gotta know Jordan, who kinda helped facilitate the whole thing. He kinda got in his ear and was like, "This thing is pretty awesome and it's making you..."

• 2:05Joe Rogan?

  Making both of them famous.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Totally, and not, and I'm just glad that, because you never know, like I could've two days in, gotten a letter that was just like, "Enough's enough."

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Easily.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Well, I actually ended the Netflix special with showing his signed contract like to the camera being like, "Look, no cease and desist." But you know, you never know, but it's parody.

• 2:26Joe Rogan?

  He's a really good guy.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, and laughing at yourself is such a, man, I'm, you know what I'm saying? Like, I started talking about this on stage where it's just like the people that I am friends with that like, that aren't comics that I'll be in, you know, hangs with that like if I, you know, bust their balls and they get a little weird about it, it's like, oh, man, like, you're a bummer not only for right now in the hang, but just this bleeds into other facets of your life. You gotta be, being self-deprecating, and you know, within context, obviously, if someone's just, you know, you know, just making fun of you.

• 2:59Joe Rogan?

  Just being mean.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  Just being mean, there's a difference.

• 3:01Joe Rogan?

  There's a difference between me and mean and being funny.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, but like Tony, for example, like doing Tony on Kill Tony. I remember I was in Portland or in Eugene at my buddy's club, Olson Run Comedy Club, shout out, great club. And I'm there and I tell the story about how Shane and I, the Biden-Trump thing came together. Cause a buddy of mine asked me, he's like, "You and Shane must do, uh, have been best friends like 10 years ago." We literally, that was probably the sixth time we've ever talked to each other. So we're getting to know each other in full makeup for two plus hours. That's a weird way to build a fucking friendship.

• 3:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you guys are so good at bouncing off of crowds and off of each other. It was seamless.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Right.

• 3:36Joe Rogan?

  It was really fun.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's something cool about jumping in the bit boat with somebody that's just like, "Oh, I just want to make the other person laugh."

• 3:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Like, I got comfy, cause he's Shane, he'd been nice about the Phil stuff, but like, you know, he, he was definitely established as Shane Gillis. So it's like, and it's Trump and Biden's trying to find, I'm trying to find my ways to be a sniper when he's not known for being funny. But as soon as I got out there and I had the frozen eyes and I was like, and Shane started to break out. That made me feel really comfortable when Shane like couldn't keep it together. But somebody, this kid in line at the meet and greet goes, "You should do, uh, Tony on Kill Tony." Cause I tell the story of how Tony was like, "Shane's gonna do Trump, you gotta do Biden, I bought a new vest, it's going down, baby." You know, I do all that and the guy's like, "You should do Tony." And I was like, I kinda scoffed it off. And then I texted him and I said, "What would you think about me dressing up as you?" And he just texts back in all caps, "Absolutely."

• 4:28Speaker 02

  It'll be your best character yet.

• 4:31Joe Rogan?

  But while we're doing this, unfortunately, people can't see anything. So they just see us.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Oh, that's right.

• 4:37Joe Rogan?

  I want to show.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:39Joe Rogan?

  Because it's so crazy.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:41Joe Rogan?

  How close you get to him. It's kind of eerie. Like, I didn't see it, and your face structure changed.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:48Joe Rogan?

  Like, you look like a different person. It's like you had become Tony. Like, you do a weird thing when you do characters. Like, you oddly become that person. Like, give me some volume on this.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Oh, the beginning, yeah.

• 5:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, dude.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives?

• 5:24Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it's like you've got a different face.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:27Joe Rogan?

  You did something weird. You did something weird.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, they taped my ears back a little bit.

• 5:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that makes your face.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  To push his ears out. And then the teeth are the same. I just got the clothes down. The hair, I mean...

• 5:37Joe Rogan?

  You look oddly like him.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's wild.

• 5:39Joe Rogan?

  Less like you than him.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:41Joe Rogan?

  I would think that's more Tony Hinchcliffe doing an Adam Ray impersonation.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  You know what was the best is Woody Harrelson was there that night. And comes up to me after, and he's like, uh... He's like, "Man," he's like, "that shit was fucking crazy, man." He's like, "I don't know what was going on or what you had to do." I was like, "I watched the intro a bunch. I've known Tony since we both started." And he goes, "You kind of got a little Johnny Depp going on with the thing." So then I started going, I go, "Woody," I go, "maybe I am Johnny Depp. Maybe I'm Johnny playing Tony." And then he was like, "What the fuck, man?"

• 6:12Joe Rogan?

  Bro, you should totally do that. Johnny as the pirate.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  That's not a bad idea.

• 6:17Joe Rogan?

  It's a fucking great idea. I just heard your accent.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Wow, on-kill, Tony.

• 6:20Joe Rogan?

  100%.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  In full pirate garb?

• 6:22Joe Rogan?

  Yes. Just come out Jack Sparrow.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  I'm a big fan of Horns of Koom. Horns of Koom, actually.

• 6:28Joe Rogan?

  Dude.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  That's a great idea.

• 6:29Joe Rogan?

  100%.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 6:31Joe Rogan?

  Has to be done.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, real understated, but real...

• 6:33Joe Rogan?

  Has to be done.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Wow, okay.

• 6:34Joe Rogan?

  That is your next big character.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 6:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, the Amber Heard jokes are endless.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 6:40Joe Rogan?

  Endless well.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. I was just like, you know, what sort of a pot could he pull from to kind of...

• 6:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh, cocaine.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:46Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, no.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  And maybe every time he likes somebody, he goes, "I'm gonna give you the Johnny Depp bracelet of approval." And he gives him like a bracelet.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  It's a great idea.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Wow, Joe, alright.

• 6:59Joe Rogan?

  Dude, this is a perfect character for you.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  People have pitched me to do-

• 7:02Joe Rogan?

  You should have a treasure chest filled with cocaine.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Do you want me to delete this on the podcast so we can save it?

• 7:07Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  No way, this is great.

• 7:09Joe Rogan?

  A treasure chest filled with coke.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 7:11Joe Rogan?

  Bring out a treasure chest filled with baby powder, just buy like 10 pounds of baby powder?

• 7:15Speaker 02

  And just in between, instead of Heidi bringing out drinks, he brings me bags of coke? And I'm just blowing lines.

• 7:21Joe Rogan?

  A fucking full treasure chest, bro.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so funny, Joe.

• 7:25Joe Rogan?

  Nah, you have a parrot, you have a parrot. A real parrot?

• 7:29Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 7:30Joe Rogan?

  Real parrot would probably freak out and have a hard time.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, we did, I did just, uh, so I tried this new character called Bruce Robbins at the Comedy Store. He's like a mentalist magician, and it's gonna drop on my YouTube in a couple of weeks. And I rented an owl for 1,200 bucks. A like, Harland said he knew the type of owl, Harland was on the show too. A Eurasian, I think, owl, he said it's the biggest owl.

• 7:49Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  This thing was, so the whole bit was, this character Bruce Robbins, he's got like a big blonde coif, big buck teeth, and you know, kinda from the south, talks like this, real fast, you know? And, you know, I'm a magician, I'm a former real estate agent too, but, you know, magic is my healing power. And so the bit was bringing out this owl, that was like a psychic owl, and so people would ask it questions, but I had my buddy who does a really good Morgan Freeman do voiceover, so then I would hold the mic up to the owl's face, and then you would play the Morgan Freeman, so like, somebody goes, uh, you know, how many, uh, or is, somebody asked, is democracy, uh, you know, is democracy ruined, or are we gonna save it in this country? And we had a bunch of canned responses, and so then I go, Archie, what do you think about Archie the Psychic Gal? Is democracy gonna be saved or ruined? And then you just hear Morgan Freeman go, gay.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  I go, thanks for it, thanks, any other questions we got, you know?

• 8:39Joe Rogan?

  Ah.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  But, uh, but a real parrot for Johnny Depp would be wild, or maybe at least a fake one.

• 8:44Joe Rogan?

  I don't think parrots would enjoy that, it'd probably be animal cruelty.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  It probably would.

• 8:48Joe Rogan?

  The large crowd of people screaming and cheering.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  What's your creature?

• 8:51Joe Rogan?

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• 9:37Joe Rogan?

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• 10:19Joe Rogan?

  And when you are ready to launch, use the offer code ROGEN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by The Mosquito Bowl. Here's a story that's pretty incredible. After Pearl Harbor, four of the best college football players in America walk away from promising NFL careers to enlist in the Marines and fight in World War II. And the craziest part, it's a true story. These guys had their whole lives ahead of them, but traded the glory of the gridiron for the brutal reality of combat where the stakes were life and death. Directed by Peter Berg, the guy behind Friday Night Lights, and starring Nicholas Galitzine, Bill Skarsgård, Ray Nicholson, and Tom Francis.

• 11:04Joe Rogan?

  The Mosquito Bowl, now playing in theaters.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Or, you know, do you have any, has anyone brought, what's the craziest thing someone's brought into the mothership for like a?

• 11:14Joe Rogan?

  Like an animal? No one's ever brought an animal.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  I'm just trying to think too.

• 11:17Joe Rogan?

  Paul brings his dog sometimes, but he's got a sweet dog.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:19Joe Rogan?

  And Ron's brought his dog a bunch of times. Ron's got a cute little dog.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I'm trying to think, when we did a Dr. Phil at the mothership, we didn't have too many crazy elements.

• 11:29Joe Rogan?

  Did you ever work with Liza?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  She's like, yeah, we did a game show.

• 11:32Joe Rogan?

  She make you hold her dog.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Used to make her always hold a dog.

• 11:34Joe Rogan?

  She just like give you a dog before she goes on stage. Take my dog and be like, okay.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. And thank God, it's always the people that love dogs.

• 11:41Joe Rogan?

  I've held multiple dogs of hers over the years. You know, because dogs die.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:47Joe Rogan?

  She gets a new one.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Bro, I.

• 11:48Joe Rogan?

  She had that new one with the scars around her nose.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:51Joe Rogan?

  Where she was one of those dogs that they were, I mean, who knows what the fuck they were gonna do to it.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:56Joe Rogan?

  But they had its, its, its face bound. I think she got it from China.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, she did, yeah. Because I think she calls it like Feng Shui.

• 12:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Something like dim sum.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Dim sum? It might be, it's close.

• 12:09Joe Rogan?

  Something like that, yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  She, um.

• 12:10Joe Rogan?

  Which is racist.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Which is racist. Yeah, very racist. Couldn't have gone with like Albert or Jill.

• 12:16Joe Rogan?

  Bro, you ever been on Blue Sky?

• 12:17Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 12:18Joe Rogan?

  Blue Sky is like the ultra super liberal Twitter for people like Twitter's filled with Nazis. And they ran over to Blue Sky. Uh, some guy wrote, I'm just trying to be zen about it. And then someone under that wrote, how about try not to be racist against Asians?

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 12:36Joe Rogan?

  For saying zen.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  For saying zen. That's, I don't like that.

• 12:38Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 12:40Joe Rogan?

  That was one of the wildest like reaches I've ever seen in my life. Zen is a state of mind.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Zen is one of the best words to describe being tranquil or serene, right, is another one?

• 12:51Joe Rogan?

  Zen and the art of motorcycle repair.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  God damn.

• 12:53Joe Rogan?

  Zen and the art of archery.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  I was just talking about how my dogs are my like zen happy place, which by the way.

• 12:59Joe Rogan?

  Imagine thinking that saying that is racist.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's bananas.

• 13:03Joe Rogan?

  But that's how crazy, this is like what you're dealing with, with humans out there. Some people are just off the reservation.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. You're, you posted something recently, or maybe you said something on a pod about like your love for Marshall. And I wanted to bring this up because we're thinking about finally trying to have kids. My wife's had to go through some stuff to get us in a place to, you know, where, uh, where it's all right on that front.

• 13:23Joe Rogan?

  Satanic rituals, right?

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:26Joe Rogan?

  Goat sacrifice.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Yes, goat sacrifice. She did play some song recently that's, that said, it was some, maybe an Ariana Grande or something song. And I go, I go, are we sacrificing a lamb in the backyard? What the fuck is this? It was just so, it made me feel so old because it was so just, and I was like, I just don't, I don't know who this is. But we're getting close to having kids and we have two dogs and I'm like, I get emotional leaving the dogs, dude. I mean, it's, it's bad. Like, and I don't even know how it's gonna be with kids. I mean, and you can probably attest to that.

• 13:55Joe Rogan?

  When you go on the road?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. I have trouble leaving. You can't even compare. When I go on the road, I know someone's taking care of my dog and he's gonna be great. Right. He's a sweetheart. He's great with everybody. I never worry about him. Right. Kids are a totally different. Totally different beast. Oh, my god. It's like you don't even, you can't even imagine how much you're gonna love them. It's just, it's, it changes you as a human being because then you start to realize that everybody was a baby. And then most of these fucked up people in the world, they just got a bad deck of cards. It's a great way to put it. And they just been handed a shit sandwich every fucking day of their life. Everybody was, yeah, man. You run into them and maybe you're lucky. You had really nice parents. Yeah. You lived in a really nice neighborhood. You had good friends. You weren't in jail when you were 12. Yeah.

• 14:41Joe Rogan?

  You know? And so, it's just, you, you, you have more compassion for the whole world when you have kids. I could have been in jail when I was 12. I put a firework in my neighbor's mailbox. That's not good. That's not great. What if you had like a fucking lottery check in there? Oh, could you sue over that? No, I guess there's no way to find out. He's gonna kill you. You're not gonna sue. He'd rather go to jail. The money's gone. Dude, this shit, we did it with. What do you have? You don't have enough money to pay for the hundred million dollar lottery ticket. My single mom would have freaked the fuck out. Imagine if they said, no, you can't. The lottery is the craziest scam. It's so wild. It's legalized gambling. Yep. Everybody does it. But you know what it is? It could be you. That's the slogan that makes people go, I never thought of it like that.

• 15:24Joe Rogan?

  But it's the dumbest scam because you have millions of people trying to win. Like, at least in blackjack, you've got like a 40% chance of winning. You know, you have like fucking no chance of winning. You're just donating money hoping that you're the one person out of 5 million. Maybe even more. Maybe more. Sometimes the odds, I feel like, have been in like the 7 billion. It's like, there's a better. Let's ask. Let's find out how many people go, like, let's find a lottery, like a big one. Okay. Like, what's a big one? Oh, Colorado State, maybe? Like, what are the big ones that you hear in the news that get to? The Powerball. Okay, let's say Power, Powerball's, that's a huge one. They nailed it with the title, too.

• 16:03Joe Rogan?

  Let's guess here. Let's, let's say, how, let's find out how much, how many people get paid out and how many people buy lottery tickets? How many lottery tickets are sold?

• 16:16Joe Rogan?

  Okay, let's put this into perplexity. We have an AI sponsor that can give us information now.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 16:22Joe Rogan?

  So, because I talk a lot of shit and sometimes I'm absolutely wrong. So it's super important.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  That is important.

• 16:29Joe Rogan?

  To use perplexity.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Good for you.

• 16:30Joe Rogan?

  It's crazy when you watch it work too, because you put in a prompt. Can you show how it's working? You put in a prompt and then look, it just pulls out all those articles.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 16:38Joe Rogan?

  And then bam, puts a synopsis in seconds.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  And a knowledge dropper.

• 16:42Joe Rogan?

  Look at that, look at that, in seconds. That's so crazy dude, I don't think we realize how nuts that is.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  It really is, it's... Because guess what, even if it was a couple of seconds to compute and like process, you'd give it the time and space to figure that out, because...

• 16:56Joe Rogan?

  So here it goes. The largest Powerball drawing in US history, November 7, 2022. A jackpot of $2.04 billion. Over 100 million tickets were sold for a single major drawing as the jackpot approached the billion dollar mark. For instance, when the jackpot reached 1.1 billion in another high-profile drawing, America's bought more than 111 million tickets. And similar or greater sales occurred for historical record draws like the 2.04 billion event. So, only one person gets paid?

• 17:31Speaker 04

  No, well...

• 17:32Joe Rogan?

  Though there's smaller jackpots?

• 17:34Speaker 02

  You can hit a few numbers and...

• 17:36Joe Rogan?

  So there's 20 million dollar range? Oh, though there's smaller jackpots. How many people get paid out though? Is it just one person?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  It depends, I think there can be multiple winners.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, you would have a million bucks if you hit like all five numbers and not the Powerball.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:50Joe Rogan?

  Right, so...

• 17:50Speaker 04

  But that doesn't affect the jackpot.

• 17:52Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 17:53Speaker 04

  So I guess if you're asking who gets paid out of the jackpot?

• 17:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a winner-take-all situation.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  But if two people, or three people, or 10 people get it, it gets split evenly.

• 18:01Joe Rogan?

  So what if you can only get some of the numbers? You get some money?

• 18:04Speaker 04

  You can get some money. If you get like one number, you can get like five bucks back.

• 18:07Joe Rogan?

  Okay. They're just trying to keep you hooked. They're just trying to keep you on the hook.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 18:12Joe Rogan?

  And if you get, like, let's say you get...

• 18:17Joe Rogan?

  So, you gotta imagine that if you give them five bucks back, they probably bought 300 tickets.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  At least.

• 18:22Joe Rogan?

  So you won anyway.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  I was gonna bring up this thing that happened, I think it was in Texas. Someone figured out the loophole of like...

• 18:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 18:29Speaker 04

  How many tickets can you buy and how fast can you buy them? And they figured out a way to buy...

• 18:34Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Tickets and they won, they were profitable.

• 18:38Joe Rogan?

  It is a numbers game.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  They had to spend like 25 million dollars or something, but they were profitable.

• 18:42Joe Rogan?

  Well, is that legal?

• 18:43Speaker 04

  That's where they've gotten into some issues now.

• 18:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, here's the thing, why, why isn't it legal if you're just buying tickets? Yeah. If you have a shitty system. Yeah. If your system sucks, and by the way, your system's been ripping off everybody forever. Sounds like a personal problem. And I jump in on that system and give you all this money. I figured it out. And I win money every fucking time. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, maybe this is on you. Maybe you don't like when you get scammed, motherfucker. You've been scamming us for years. Yeah. When you sell 111 million tickets for one, for one winner, you have 111 million to one. Yeah. That's bananas.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  Someone might not win and it goes on, it carries over.

• 19:17Joe Rogan?

  I love the stories. That's bananas. It's so bananas. All right, how's your schedule looking? Feeling busy? Got a lot in the horizon? Well, yeah, it's that time of year when life gets crazy and demands more of your energy. More work, more plans, holiday travel, all while it's getting darker and colder. It can really drain your energy, or you can get out ahead of it. Listen, I talk a lot about AG1. It's the daily health drink that can help you stay one scoop ahead of all the energy drains coming your way this season. Because the superfoods and B vitamins in every scoop of AG1 supports steady energy production without the crash.

• 19:58Joe Rogan?

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• 20:39Joe Rogan?

  Just head to drinkag1.com/joeroogan or visit the link in the description to get started. That's drinkag1.com/joeroogan.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  It's happened a handful of times where like the guy or guy will win and then split it with someone that they like bought the ticket with or said they'd go halvesies on. You know, though, there's gotta be times where somebody did that and like, you know, because I think they usually publicize who won, but there's gotta be a way if you won like two mil to keep it kinda hush hush and then, you know, and then the buddy's like, man, if I can't believe we didn't win and you did win and you're like, yeah, I know, fucking better look next to here, but like.

• 21:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's gonna kill you.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, well, and families I've, families have been ripped apart from these types of, when they go public and name changes. I mean, I've heard all sorts of, there was a documentary about the lottery from the same guy who did, I think it was Spellbound. Do you ever see that about the script Spelling Bee? They followed five kids around the country. It's a brilliant documentary and it just goes to show you, I mean, they're all different walks of life kids and some are, you know, their parents are like spelling. They're all pretty like, you know, serious about it, but some are very, I think there's a young Indian kid and his parents are like, yeah, spelling is life. And then there's a young white girl and her parents are also very like disciplined about, you know, her being on top of this.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  And then there's a young black girl and her mom is kinda like, if she's happy, she loves doing it. I'm a supporter, you know, but it's all different walks of life and you follow them almost like best in show up until the big event. And then it's the actual Spelling Bee, which is just, you know, so fucking, I mean, you've seen some of these on ESPN, right? Over the years?

• 22:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  And the pressure, though, is like what's wild. Seeing a kid at that age deal with that type of pressure, like even though they love it, they're up on that stage, like fuck, I remember I played the Cowardly Lion in fifth grade. I freaked the fuck out. A, because I was a fat kid, I was fucked, my tits were falling out of the lion suit. I asked for ice cream cake instead of courage when I got to Oz, but like, these kids are having to, there's money on the line. The parents have like dedic, they've flown all across the country, like, anyway, but the guy did a doc about the lottery and how it's, the pros and cons, but mostly about how it is like a big scam and stuff. And it's, you know, just kind of a social experiment, really.

• 22:55Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's definitely, it's definitely a way to keep people hooked. It's a gambling thing.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:01Joe Rogan?

  It's, it's 100% a gambling thing and it's like very, very profitable for the government.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  It is.

• 23:06Joe Rogan?

  But the thing about it is nobody who wins ever gets happy. It's not like everybody who wins. More money, more problems. I wanna say, everybody who wins. The vast majority of people who win go broke within a very short amount of time. Oh, really? Yeah, they blow through their money. And they wind up getting robbed, or something happens, and like, it's, it's not like you've had an unsuccessful financial relationship with, you know, with money and with funds and, you know, being prudent with your expenses. Right. And then all of a sudden, you win the lottery, and you're like, okay, great. I'm an accountant, I know how to handle this. Now, most people are just like barely getting by, and then they win the lottery, and they've always been laid on bills, and then now they're buying a Rolex. You're going from zero to sixty, yeah, you can't adjust.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  This is the winner of that two billion dollar.

• 23:52Joe Rogan?

  Oh, look at him. Wow, dude. Look at him.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  He's just a kid from LA.

• 23:56Joe Rogan?

  Look how happy that motherfucker is. You better run, son, run to Canada. Run to Canada. He's gonna buy so much Under Armour. Go somewhere where they don't know who you are. Enjoy your life, and lie. Lie about where you got your money. Say, say you got a business, you know, say your dad died. Went in on an app, yeah. Yeah, grandpa left you a lot of money, he had gold coins from the war. No one questions. No one questions old artifacts, yeah. Yeah, don't say you won the lottery, because then people don't think you deserve it. So if you're Jeff Bezos, you made Amazon, there's pictures of you in the fucking garage with an Amazon.com sign above your head. The early days. Yeah, the early days, like, you know that guy built that fucking company. So if he's out there balling, that kinda makes sense. You know, you see Jeff Bezos has a giant yacht, you're like, I'd have a yacht too.

• 24:41Joe Rogan?

  Totally. I'd do that, I would do the same thing. So, but when you get the Powerball, and all of a sudden, you got two billion dollars. Just like that, dude. And by the way, it's not really two billion dollars, because it's two billion dollars if you live to be like a thousand years old. But they take it, they take the tax on it. A hundred bucks a week. It's weird. It's a big payout. Or you can get all of it in once, in one sum, but it's never the same, it's never the same amount. They give you way less. Yeah. Which is horseshit. It is. So if you want to get the two billion dollars, it's probably like, how, what is the actual, let's find this out, what's the actual payout schedule? That you can accept either the payments, where they just pay you, like, you're, we got two billion coming your way, guaranteed, promise you. Yeah. We're gonna give you a little every month. But wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

• 25:26Joe Rogan?

  What did you do with the one hundred and eleven million tickets you sold, motherfucker? You sold a hundred and eleven million tickets. What'd you do with that money? Where's that money? How about give me all that?

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, no shit.

• 25:41Joe Rogan?

  The fuck are you doing? What is this?

• 25:44Speaker 04

  You can take a thirty year annuity option.

• 25:47Joe Rogan?

  Thirty years.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 25:48Joe Rogan?

  They wanna pay you for thirty years.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  Would you take that or just take the?

• 25:52Joe Rogan?

  Nice and slow.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:54Joe Rogan?

  That's the way we do it, see? Nice and slow.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  It is that guy.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  No, is this, I gotta see this, I didn't, this says this option pays out the full advertised jackpot amount.

• 26:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's a different one?

• 26:05Speaker 04

  I didn't know that. Let me see if that's real.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  By the way, that voice, you were doing, that's for sure the head of the lottery.

• 26:10Joe Rogan?

  Nice and slow.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  A Mr. Burns, Al Pacino type guy.

• 26:13Joe Rogan?

  That's how we're gonna pay him, nice and slow.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, dude, in a Fila jumpsuit.

• 26:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, some dude just stealing money. He's got a fake Rolex on.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:22Joe Rogan?

  Paying him nice and slow. Thirty years is crazy. If you win the lottery and you're sixty, bitch, you ain't got thirty years, especially with lottery money. That kinda cocaine.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  You gotta take it all.

• 26:32Joe Rogan?

  Cocaine and Ferraris, like, you got lottery money.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  What do you think you're doing? Cause you, I mean, you're, you're fine, but like, did you ever fantasize about like that? I think it's normal to be a person, if you, as long as you've been aware of the lottery. I think everyone has had that conversation.

• 26:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  What would you do if you won the lottery? I remember having that as a kid and I remember telling my dad I was gonna win the lottery just to fucking, you never have to work it, like, what? How did I even think to, but you just, you hear about it and you're like, the idea of, of just getting rich right away and then not having to do anything, I think is, is pretty common in this country, right?

• 27:10Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's a wonderful idea, like, cause everybody hates work.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Did you ever think about it though? Like when you were?

• 27:15Joe Rogan?

  Oh, sure. I played the lottery a bunch of times.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  But like, did you fantasize about what you would do?

• 27:19Joe Rogan?

  I don't remember how many times I'd played it. Let me think of how many times. Man, you know, not a lot of times. I think I've probably played it like all told in my life, like, less than ten times.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  What did you write down or say to yourself?

• 27:29Joe Rogan?

  I'm not like a vision poor type of guy.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  But like, if you got like, let's say you did win like five hundred mil and you were in your early twenties or something, or even my teens.

• 27:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I'd be broke. I'd be broke and ruined.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  You would've gone through it all. You wouldn't have put it, you wouldn't have put it away for the fam.

• 27:42Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, no, I'd be doing a GoFundMe right now. I'd be.

• 27:47Joe Rogan?

  I'd be going on some sad tour.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:50Joe Rogan?

  People would be like, "What about when you had all that money?" Fuck you, man! Fuck you, man! You know what I went through, man?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Joe's doing safaris and stand up for animals.

• 27:59Joe Rogan?

  Um, I think winning the lottery is bad for you. I know that sounds crazy because if you don't have any money and you want money and maybe not bad for everybody, but bad for me. Let me say that.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure.

• 28:08Joe Rogan?

  I think if I won the lottery, it would be bad for me.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:11Joe Rogan?

  Because I'm the type of dude who needs like a thing to be working on.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:15Joe Rogan?

  I like, I have to, I want, I want to improve at stuff. I drive towards things. I'm trying to like, figure things out all the time.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  That's a great point.

• 28:22Joe Rogan?

  I'm all of a sudden not doing that.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Your drive is gone if you win the lottery, I think.

• 28:27Joe Rogan?

  Especially at a young age. Cause if you're like, so let's go back to like when I was like 22. I was 22, uh, was working odd jobs while I was doing stand up at night. I was working for a private investigator. Maybe I was making 20 bucks an hour.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 28:43Joe Rogan?

  Like maybe.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  Did you really do that?

• 28:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I drove around a private investigator.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Holy shit!

• 28:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he was a good friend for years. Like, he died recently. Uh, his name's Dave Dolan. He was, he's the best. I kept one of my old phones just because he left me a message. He used to call himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. He was hilarious. The funniest guy that I've ever met that wasn't a comedian. He was so funny.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 29:05Joe Rogan?

  He was so funny. And the crazy thing is, what happened was, he lost his license from drunk driving. And, uh, he put in an ad for private investigators as assistant. But really what it was is someone to drive him because he couldn't drive.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:19Joe Rogan?

  Cause he was, you know, lost his license for like, I forget how long, like, three months or something like that. So, um, I, I signed up for the job. I meet him, you know? This is back when I was still competing. I was still fighting. So he liked that I could like fuck people up if something went sideways.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:36Joe Rogan?

  And so then we would go and most of it was insurance fraud. It was mostly like catching people, like doing things like, uh, pretending their back was hurt. Then you catch them carrying roof shingles up a ladder. It was a lot of that. Uh, people, they, they get hurt like working for an airline, this one lady. Oh, this was so sad. She let us into her house. I felt so bad. We would, it was a scam. And the scam was... Dave would show up and say, um, ma'am, uh, my girlfriend was in an accident. And when the police took the license plate of the witness, someone spilled coffee on the report. And it's confusing which letters are the last letters and one of them is yours. See, we got these two, they weren't right, we were hoping it's you. And they were like, what's, what's wrong with your girlfriend?

• 30:21Joe Rogan?

  And he goes, well, she's got this injury, which is exactly the same injury that this lady had. That she was supposedly getting, uh, that she was, you know, disabled for. And so, she's like, oh my God, I had the same thing. And he goes, I hope you're getting paid. And she goes, oh yeah, not only am I getting paid by insurance, but I'm also working under my maiden name. He's like, oh, that's great. And she goes, would you like to come in, in the house and have some coffee? She was the nicest lady. She had us in her house, we were two strangers. Some fucking thick looking Irish dude with a mustache, that's Dave and me. Like this 21 year old kid with a fucking crew cut and he's just letting us into your house. Giving us coffee, I'm like, she's so nice, man, we can't do that.

• 31:05Joe Rogan?

  We gotta, we gotta pretend this didn't happen. He's like, fuck her, she goes. Fucking thief, that lady's a fucking thief, fuck her. I was like, oh my God, I can't do this. Uh, I, I only did it for a few months, but that's all he needed me for really, but we became friends. What a life, dude. Yeah, he was an interesting cat, man. He was a fun, one of the guys, there was a guy who, um, thought his girlfriend was cheating on him. Or wife, I forget. And so. That feels like a lot of the cases they get hired for, right? Yes, sure. But mostly what Dave did was insurance stuff because they, they had the most amount of cases. It was all about finding, it's just, it's just a numbers thing. Yeah. Um, so this one was, I think, I think my girl's cheating on me.

• 31:48Joe Rogan?

  So he hires Dave, uh, to, this, his wife was hooking up with this fucking barbarian. This dude who's this big old bodybuilder dude and he was just pounding her. And Dave had to take pictures and then he like brought the pictures. Of them fucking? Brought the pictures to the guy. And then the guy was like. Well, keep following her. He's like, fuck you. He's like, I don't know what kind of kink you're into. Like, is this like a, are you doing-

• 32:18Speaker 02

  This should be enough.

• 32:19Joe Rogan?

  No, it was almost like he was into it. It was almost like they were playing a game, like a cuck game.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 32:27Joe Rogan?

  It was, you know what I mean?

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Maybe I'm cheating on you. Maybe you should hire a private investigator and see the pictures.

• 32:31Joe Rogan?

  The guy just like, the girl was, the lady was very hot. And he was very not hot. And then there was this bodybuilder guy.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Fuck, dude, it is funny you say that. My brain immediately went to, if my wife was cheating on me, that would be the worst version. Just a huge guy. Because, like, if it's Shaq, you go, if we do get back together, there's no way. Well, you're not, by the way, but like, if you do, like, you're just, you can't go back in there.

• 32:56Joe Rogan?

  Right. It's over.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  I mean, I see Shaq now with like, when there's pictures of him next to his like, girls he's dated, I'm like, is that, that should be illegal. But I guess, I don't know, he's gentle? I don't, how do you, how do you do that? I don't know.

• 33:09Joe Rogan?

  You gotta ask him.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Have you had Shaq on?

• 33:12Joe Rogan?

  No, I'd love to have him. I love that dude. He did Fear Factor with me.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  No way.

• 33:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he co-hosted Fear Factor one day, one episode.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  That would be an unbelievable conversation.

• 33:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was like me and him hanging, I had a joke. I was, it was like a six-year-old hanging out with his dad. The size of a, I had a joke about a lady guarding the White House. Cause it was during the Obama administration, a guy broke into the White House and they had a lady, an unarmed lady at the front door.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 33:38Joe Rogan?

  And I had this whole joke about, like, not everybody can guard the White House.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:43Joe Rogan?

  And like, listen, I've met Shaquille O'Neal, his dick is where my face is. I'm like, if the White House is experiencing a Shaq attack, I'm the wrong dude to save the world.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 33:51Joe Rogan?

  He's just gonna run over me, he's too big.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:54Joe Rogan?

  You know, but that guy, when you're hanging out with him, you're like, okay, giants are real. Like, there's real giants in this world. Like, look at this.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  Oh, you did it at uni too, that's awesome.

• 34:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah, it was fun. But he's a fan of the show. He was real cool.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 34:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I see him at the UFC all the time too. Imagine that guy got into MMA. Cause he's a martial artist. He practices martial arts. There's some good video of him working out, like kicking pads and punching mitts and shit. He's got technique.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Is it cool from your perspective when people like that jump into that art form? Are you just like?

• 34:24Joe Rogan?

  I love it. No, I love it. I want everybody to do it. It's good for your brain. And don't do it because you want to be Billy Badass, but do it because it's like the best way of releasing aggression and making you a nice person. It sounds crazy, I know.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  No, that makes sense.

• 34:38Joe Rogan?

  But like hitting something, like a bag, you don't have to hit a person. Hit a heavy bag, just boom, boom, boom, boom. You get all that shit out of your system.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 34:46Joe Rogan?

  Look at him next to Francis Ngannou, that's former UFC heavyweight champion Francis Ngannou, who is a giant man. Standing next to Shaq and Shaq towers over him.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  I mean, it's honestly-

• 34:56Joe Rogan?

  He's too big for the UFC. If Shaq, if the UFC was around when Shaq- No, no, no. He like literally is physically too big.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 35:03Joe Rogan?

  Like, the UFC has a 265 pound weight limit for the heavyweight division, which is kinda crazy.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:09Joe Rogan?

  Heavyweight should be as big as you get. It should be like, I think it should be like 225 and up. That's what I think. I think there's not enough weight classes, but that's a separate conversation. But Shaq is way bigger than 265.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, 350 maybe?

• 35:22Joe Rogan?

  He probably would have to cut 80 pounds to make the UFC's weight limit.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  I think he was under 3 when he got in the league. He was real slender, which is crazy to be that big and be that fast. The fact that he did what he did in the NBA is really wild.

• 35:35Joe Rogan?

  There's giant super athletes, which is like the difference between the NBA, the NFL, and then the UFC.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:42Joe Rogan?

  It's like the UFC doesn't get many guys like that.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:45Joe Rogan?

  Most of like, super athletes when they're kids, they go into football, they go into baseball, they go into basketball. That's where the money is, you know, for a lot of them.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:54Joe Rogan?

  Like way more, like, there's way more spots probably for football players than there are for UFC. Like, how many, how many professional football players are there in the NFL?

• 36:06Speaker 04

  There's fifty-three per team and there's thirty-two teams.

• 36:07Joe Rogan?

  Let's find out.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Over a thousand.

• 36:10Joe Rogan?

  Don't make me do math, I'm stupid.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  Well, that's why we do this.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  That's just that, but there's also, there's practice squads, there's another twelve or fifteen on a practice squad.

• 36:17Joe Rogan?

  Okay, let's put it into perplexity, find out how many overall players are, um, employed by the NFL.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  And then do it for NBA, MLB, badminton, tennis.

• 36:28Joe Rogan?

  And then cricket.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Croquet.

• 36:30Joe Rogan?

  Chinese sports.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  And checkers, Parcheesi.

• 36:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Uno tournaments.

• 36:35Joe Rogan?

  Pyramid billiards.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  The number for the NFL could get way bigger, because there's guys that, you know, are half-retired and only play like three games a year.

• 36:42Joe Rogan?

  Okay, so what do you, if you had a guess?

• 36:43Speaker 02

  Fifty-three times, where there's thirty.

• 36:45Joe Rogan?

  Jamie knows a lot about stats.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  There'd be probably twenty-two thousand.

• 36:49Joe Rogan?

  Twenty-two thousand, okay.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  No, no, no, not twenty, I was gonna say twenty-five hundred or two thousand, but two thousand's probably a fair number.

• 36:54Joe Rogan?

  And is that, that's just NFL, correct? And then you have XFL? How many people are employed by the XFL?

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Great question.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  And baseball is a fifty-three, no, baseball's tw- fifty-three man roster, for baseball?

• 37:07Speaker 04

  No, baseball's way less, like twenty-five.

• 37:08Joe Rogan?

  So for UFC, just UFC, I think right now they have six hundred fighters under contract. Mick Maynard texted me about that recently.

• 37:17Speaker 04

  Seventeen hundred players on active rosters, and then another four hundred who can move around.

• 37:22Joe Rogan?

  Okay. So that's NFL, that's just NFL.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  What a crapshoot.

• 37:25Joe Rogan?

  So it's essentially two thousand-ish.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  It's about five hundred and fifty in the NBA.

• 37:30Joe Rogan?

  Hmm, okay.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  And the draft each year is probably another, yet another...

• 37:34Speaker 04

  Thirty to forty.

• 37:35Joe Rogan?

  Also, you have to take into account that a lot of kids, uh, you play football in school, right? So if you're gonna play football, you play football in high school, you play football in college.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Getting it going early.

• 37:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's a sport that everybody plays, and it's normal to do. Like, everybody in the neighborhood plays, if you play baseball, everybody in the neighborhood plays.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:54Joe Rogan?

  You, you all, you, you play in middle school, you play in high school. MMA, you gotta go to the gym. You gotta learn. You gotta get kicked in the nuts. You're gonna get kicked in the nuts. More than once. You're gonna get punched in the face. Your nose is gonna be bloody. You're gonna have a headache. You're gonna have sore joints because people are trying to break your arms. And then you're showing up at school every day going, "What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?" So it's hard to get a kid that can also play basketball really well to decide, "I'm gonna let someone kick my shins out from under me."

• 38:25Speaker 02

  I don't know what kid would do that.

• 38:26Joe Rogan?

  It's gotta be a kid that only wants that.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:29Joe Rogan?

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• 39:13Speaker 03

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• 39:34Joe Rogan?

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• 40:20Joe Rogan?

  Find your new fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/rogan. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash Rogan. This is the UFC.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 40:43Joe Rogan?

  That is me.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  Like Tiger Woods was golfing, what, at like three, two or three, right?

• 40:48Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  It's so, not that you would be doing UFC or MMA at that age, but what is the young-

• 40:54Joe Rogan?

  But you would, because a lot of people who have sons and daughters that are really into it, they start training them. A lot of these fighters train their kids at an early age.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  I remember having like, you know, WrestleMania types, like stuffed animals and wrestling with them at like five, six, seven. But it didn't obviously turn into a passion, but like, that at least it was like at that age of like roughhousing and throwing shit around and like trying to beat somebody up, but, I guess to take a shot to the dick as a kid, like, yeah, you gotta be made of steel.

• 41:24Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think generally it's either your parents encourage you to do it early and you do like traditional martial arts and you get kind of excited about it and then you start watching the UFC as you get older. And then maybe you start doing some other stuff, like maybe you start out in Jiu Jitsu and then you work your way to a little Muay Thai. And then as you're like 13, 14, you probably start thinking, I think I want to fight.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:44Joe Rogan?

  That's what happens with a lot of these guys.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  You're probably not taking shit in school, by the way. Like if your teacher's like, Martin, I saw you weren't paying attention. You're like, I'm bleeding out of my dick, lady. You know, you're just, you've seen, you've gone through some shit where you're like, this is not my biggest concern right now.

• 41:59Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's definitely not your biggest concern, but it's also boring. That's the real problem. When you do exciting things when you're young, you can't parse it out in your head and go, I know I have to do this boring thing because this is like-

• 42:08Speaker 02

  You're talking about school.

• 42:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, this is really important. When you're doing this exciting thing,

• 42:12Speaker 02

  I know, man.

• 42:12Joe Rogan?

  You're, you know, kicking people's heads off. Like, this is way more fun. I don't want, I don't care about history.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Did you play baseball?

• 42:19Joe Rogan?

  Play baseball, yeah, yeah, I did.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  What position?

• 42:22Joe Rogan?

  Um, you know, I wasn't very good. Um, so I was an outfielder, but one thing I did do is I hit, I either hit home runs or I struck out.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 42:31Joe Rogan?

  Because I would never just try to get on base. The coach would always say, uh, just try to get on base. Just try, I'd be like, right. I just fucking ignored.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 42:39Joe Rogan?

  I hated team sports. I was not a good team player in that regard. Because, I mean, I was good in that I tried to catch balls and I would try to make the out.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  I bet you were a fun teammate though, right? You were a jokester and like.

• 42:49Joe Rogan?

  But I was also like, I am going to hit the fuck out of this ball.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 42:53Joe Rogan?

  Cause I hit my first home run, I think when I was like 12 or something like that. And I was like, oh, this is way better. I was like, this is way better than just hitting a ball.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 43:01Joe Rogan?

  Cause as you get bigger and stronger, as you, and you get a little bit more coordinated and you feel what it's like to really fucking connect and get your body into that.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:09Joe Rogan?

  But that really translated into martial arts too. Because learning how to hit things hard, I think it helped that I learned how to hit a baseball hard.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  Is there a correlation with like the, the torque and the lower half and the twisting? Yeah.

• 43:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a hundred percent. Because when you're hitting a baseball, like I was never a great baseball player. Okay. I was just a kid who knew how to hit a ball hard.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  Still?

• 43:29Joe Rogan?

  I wasn't a good baseball player.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Hand eye coordination.

• 43:31Joe Rogan?

  But there was a thing about this, about this timing.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:35Joe Rogan?

  This crack, like that, that translated directly into kicking things, like directly. So I think learning that at an early age, I was like, oh, it's like a body, it's a timing thing, but it's like a whip of your body.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:48Joe Rogan?

  And that's the exact same thing with kicking.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  My, uh, my buddy, I'm actually wearing his hoodie, Cal Raleigh, his nickname is the big dumper. And he had, he just lost the MVP to Aaron Judge by like four votes. But he had, and it was a big dispute and big debate because he's a switch hitting catcher. He's a catcher. He hit 60 home runs this year, the most by any catcher ever. He, the most by any switch hitting, um, catcher, uh, switch hitting player. He broke, um, he just broke so many records. Aaron Judge ultimately won the MVP because statistically he was outrageous in so many categories, but it was a big debate. I'm biased. Cal's the man. Um, but also, you know, a catcher is handling so much more during the game. Aaron Judge played the outfield and then Aaron Judge looks. Like if Four Loko grew into a person.

• 44:34Speaker 02

  Cal Raleigh is like you want to have a Bud Light with. He's a fucking everyman. He won the home run derby. His dad, who was his high school baseball coach, was throwing pitches to him during. It was a better story for baseball. But I actually want to get your opinion on this. If you are going, because I think the writers were just like stats, like. Cal batted like two forty six, Judge was like three eighty something, I think, to end the year. But again, Cal like broke all these records and for a catcher. And like made baseball cool and like put. You know, gave a position a lot more love and he's calling the whole game. He has to know the whole pitching staff. He comes in early, he's. He's catching the game, which is why it's unheard of for a catcher to be that offensively. You know, uh, powerful, but um. He ultimately lost and a lot of people were bummed. Uh, out about it and uh.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  I guess my question to you is if you were one of those like. If you're assessing. Stuff like that, do you take into account like? You know what someone's impact for the game is, or would you just go like, no, no, who had the best stats? And that's the MVP.

• 45:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a good conversation, right? It's a good conversation.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Do you follow baseball enough to fuck with that?

• 45:38Joe Rogan?

  I don't.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  All right, let's move on.

• 45:40Joe Rogan?

  But objectively, I would say go with the best stats. The guy who's played the best.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  I guess.

• 45:44Joe Rogan?

  That's the most valuable player.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  But a switch hitting catcher.

• 45:46Joe Rogan?

  Look, it's a very valuable thing, it's just not the most valuable thing.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know what they gave a lot of credit to is like judges in New York on the Yankees. And they get so much press and so much love. And Seattle's up here in the corner, right? Furthest away like.

• 45:59Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Everyone's just like, isn't it the fucking coffee Sound Garden place? And it's like, there's a catcher up there? I mean. Yeah, I don't know. I don't, that stuff I think does matter, the, the national. Attention, but um. I don't know.

• 46:12Joe Rogan?

  There was a guy that was a really good baseball player that became a martial artist and had a wicked right hand. This Japanese guy, Takanori Gomi. And uh.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  Great name.

• 46:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God, this dude, he was a pitcher.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Martial arts and, oh, and play baseball.

• 46:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he, he was a pitcher and like that's how he started off and. He just had a whip to his right hand.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 46:31Joe Rogan?

  And you think about like how fast a pitcher moves his body and. I'm sure you've seen that one where, what's the dude's name that killed the bird?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Oh, Randy Johnson. Bro, that's a former mayor. That clip is.

• 46:43Joe Rogan?

  Amazing.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  It's unbelievable.

• 46:44Joe Rogan?

  It's insane.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  I know it's like sad, but.

• 46:47Joe Rogan?

  It's very sad, but it's a once in a billion thing.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Once in a trillion. Joe, the timing of that, first of all, birds fly through stadiums like, you know, every now and then. And also you have the fastest throwing pitcher arguably in the history of the game.

• 47:00Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  Throw at his peak.

• 47:01Joe Rogan?

  His peak.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Throwing, I think, a hundred.

• 47:04Joe Rogan?

  Throwing heat.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Can you imagine that bird?

• 47:06Joe Rogan?

  And he hits that bird dead square.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Do you think that bird, I mean, I don't know, do they have thoughts?

• 47:10Joe Rogan?

  Fucking stupid brain looking for seeds.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Looking for seeds.

• 47:13Joe Rogan?

  Fuck that bird. Fuck that bird. That bird existed for that moment.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  It did.

• 47:17Joe Rogan?

  The universe wanted us to see it. The bird was virtually pulverized and killed instantly. Famously, Johnson was sued by PETA for the obvious freak accident.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  Sued?

• 47:25Joe Rogan?

  That's insane.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  And look at this, Johnson resents the way he's remembered as the bird killer.

• 47:30Joe Rogan?

  Ah, Randy, you gotta let it go.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  His nickname was the big unit when he was in Seattle.

• 47:35Joe Rogan?

  No, I remember that guy.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  Dude, that's wild. And then there's the famous, uh, as if we're talking bird accidents, Fabio on the roller coaster. Remember that?

• 47:43Joe Rogan?

  No, what happened with Fabio on a roller coaster?

• 47:45Speaker 02

  Opened.

• 47:45Joe Rogan?

  Hit by a bird?

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Oh, man, this is unbelievable. He's opening a roller coaster at some theme park, I want to say Great America, and he's on the beginning and he's like, hello, Fabio here, I can't wait to ride the roller coaster. And, and, oh, man, and somewhere in the journey, a bird flies out of nowhere and breaks his fucking nose, dude. Yep, boom, feathers and all.

• 48:08Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  So everyone's like, what happened? Yeah, and then he goes on ABC to talk about it.

• 48:13Joe Rogan?

  A goose. It was a goose.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  He's look, he's like.

• 48:16Joe Rogan?

  Bro, geese are big.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  He's like, I can't believe it's not butter, but I can't believe that bird had a vengeance against my face. He was the butter guy, remember?

• 48:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right. He was the romance novel guy too, right?

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, what a life.

• 48:28Joe Rogan?

  Wild. Chicks like reading their porn.

• 48:32Joe Rogan?

  You know that?

• 48:32Speaker 02

  Great premise.

• 48:33Joe Rogan?

  It was true.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  It is.

• 48:34Joe Rogan?

  It is true. Like, guys like watching porn.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  That's what it was.

• 48:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, girls have always been into erotic literature. And some of it's like, you remember the Fifty Shades of Grey stuff?

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Come on, man, that was like.

• 48:45Joe Rogan?

  All of a sudden ladies wanted to get spit on and choked, like, what's happening? My friends would tell me these stories, like, she told me to spit in her mouth. I was like, what? Did you do it?

• 48:53Speaker 02

  I know my stepdad was like, your mom wants me to push her against the drywall. I was like, what?

• 48:57Joe Rogan?

  What the fuck?

• 49:00Speaker 02

  This is an incident.

• 49:00Joe Rogan?

  It got real weird for a while. But then it kinda died off and went back into the shadows. But romance novels, like pornographic romance novels.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  That was the first way to.

• 49:10Joe Rogan?

  But they're not pornographic like visually. Even like the way they depict sex is like a feminine way of doing it, but.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  But Fifty Shades of Grey, I think, was like.

• 49:19Joe Rogan?

  That was graphic.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 49:22Joe Rogan?

  What the fuck was that all about, ladies? What are you hiding? And then there was the Twilight one. You want a vampire that loves you and doesn't want to eat you.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  I'll never understand that, yeah.

• 49:31Joe Rogan?

  You want some dude who kills people.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  I guess it's not for us.

• 49:33Joe Rogan?

  Sucks their blood. He's been around for seventeen hundred years. You're only sixteen. The whole relationship's disgusting. This is disgusting. You're a thousand years old. You got a sixteen year old girlfriend?

• 49:43Speaker 02

  I know.

• 49:44Joe Rogan?

  What do you talk about?

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Also, the werewolves and like the, yeah, just having.

• 49:47Joe Rogan?

  He was alive when Cleopatra was here. And he's talking to a fucking seventeen year old. This is stupid.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Would you judge someone more that was into vampires or feet?

• 49:58Joe Rogan?

  Vampires for sure.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:00Joe Rogan?

  Feet's not that weird.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  It's not that weird, I guess.

• 50:02Joe Rogan?

  It's kinda, you know, they're cute. They look good.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, you could justify feet.

• 50:06Joe Rogan?

  Makes it sense, I guess.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:08Joe Rogan?

  The vampire one is nuts.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:10Joe Rogan?

  Like, how, how old was the vampire in Twilight? He wasn't that old.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  They were in high school, maybe, right?

• 50:15Joe Rogan?

  No, but he wasn't that old. Like I was saying, he's alive from Cleopatra, though. That's bullshit. It was, he's really probably only like supposed to be a couple hundred years old. Right? Is that the case?

• 50:24Speaker 04

  I've never saw, I thought he was supposed to be real old, though.

• 50:26Joe Rogan?

  At least a hundred.

• 50:29Joe Rogan?

  Imagine a hundred year old guy pretending he's, he's gotta pretend and hang out in high school. That's how he fits in. That's how he fits in. Hundred year old guy's gonna force himself to go to high school.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's weird.

• 50:43Joe Rogan?

  How old was he?

• 50:43Speaker 04

  Hundred and four.

• 50:44Joe Rogan?

  Hundred and four, okay. In high school.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  By the way, so.

• 50:47Joe Rogan?

  Hanging out. Yeah, he didn't even look. Looking handsome as fuck.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Handsome as fuck, dude, but super pale, something was up.

• 50:52Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm. Well, you're in Seattle, you can get away with it up there.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  I went to the, um, I think it was opening night of Twilight. When I did this movie, The Heat, it was, um, uh, after Bridesmaids, Paul Feig did this movie called The Heat. It was Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. It's like a big, you know, buddy cop, uh, and I played one of the bad guys. First big movie, summer blockbuster. I'm like, I heard the trailer was being played during Twilight. And I was like, never see myself in a trailer. So my buddy's like, we gotta go to fucking, it was like they're playing the R-rated trailer, the red trailer. So we go to Twilight on like opening night at, uh, the Arc Light in, uh, in Hollywood.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  R.I.P. and uh and it's just all like what I don't know ten to sixteen year old girls the whole theater and then just me and my buddy just baked out of our minds like very out of place and everything's coming on they're like announcing all the cast all the girls are going nuts uh but by the way they didn't play the uh the trailer uh at all so we're sitting there and he's like I'm like alright let's get the fuck out of here I don't want to watch Twilight he's like well we're here we should watch it I'm like best of luck and I bounced so I've never seen it

• 51:53Joe Rogan?

  Uh

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Any of the Twilight movies

• 51:55Joe Rogan?

  They're not terrible

• 51:56Speaker 02

  They're not

• 51:57Joe Rogan?

  They're not terrible but they're odd and I don't necessarily think they're made for boys I think it's a weird lady fantasy

• 52:05Speaker 02

  It is no yeah it's for the girls yeah

• 52:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah

• 52:06Speaker 02

  Which our equivalent

• 52:07Joe Rogan?

  It's a weird lady fantasy but it's very odd that there's a vampire movie that's specifically for ladies

• 52:11Speaker 02

  You know what our equivalent is?

• 52:12Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 52:13Speaker 02

  Weird Science

• 52:15Joe Rogan?

  The show?

• 52:15Speaker 02

  No the movie Weird Science remember when the two guys make the woman on their computer?

• 52:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh that's right

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Come on dude Anthony Michael Hall and uh

• 52:22Joe Rogan?

  I forgot about that

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Great movie Jamie?

• 52:24Joe Rogan?

  Who's that lady?

• 52:25Speaker 02

  Jamie pull up the whole movie let's watch the whole movie

• 52:27Joe Rogan?

  That lady is very beautiful who was that? Kelly LeBrock Kelly LeBrock

• 52:32Speaker 02

  British I think

• 52:33Joe Rogan?

  She was yeah she was the super hottie back in the day

• 52:35Speaker 02

  That was one of the

• 52:36Joe Rogan?

  And they made her in a lab

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Bro that was one of the first movies I remember seeing being like okay what is this dick really for?

• 52:43Joe Rogan?

  Weird Science

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Great oh yeah dude

• 52:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Well not Anthony Michael Hall oh wait no that's a remake yeah Anthony Michael Hall was the first one

• 52:50Joe Rogan?

  Oh there was a TV show

• 52:51Speaker 02

  And was that Bill uh Paxton as the crazy brother?

• 52:55Joe Rogan?

  Uh

• 52:56Speaker 02

  Yeah dude who made that John Hughes come on just had his finger on the pulse of cool

• 53:03Joe Rogan?

  Wow how did they make her what was the ingredients?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  It was just Great question it was you sound like one of the parents trying to recreate her so how'd they make that girl by the way?

• 53:15Speaker 00

  Is Wyatt and Gary I give her one digits manor glance One digits

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Wow

• 53:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh look they have a computer

• 53:27Speaker 00

  Out of this world

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Yeah dude

• 53:30Speaker 05

  What would you little maniacs like to do first?

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Oh my god that's her opening question?

• 53:36Speaker 00

  Weird Science

• 53:38Speaker 05

  If you want to be a party animal you have to learn to live in the jungle Not us

• 53:42Speaker 00

  Not here No way She is turning their lives

• 53:46Speaker 05

  Trust me for once will you?

• 53:49Speaker 00

  I don't know, I don't know. Their minds.

• 53:52Speaker 04

  Trailer is crazy.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  She just wanted to make them cool, right?

• 53:56Joe Rogan?

  She didn't even want to fuck.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  No. You know they must have been like, dude, did you not put in the right code? She's here to like, take us to dinner.

• 54:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, why would you stop with that? Let's try one that doesn't talk as much. Let's try the next one.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  I think they just did it on their computer. It was just like a bunch of...

• 54:11Joe Rogan?

  It's so easy to do back then.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Such a funny thing too. Like, we were just so trusting. We're like, that's probably how you'd do it if you were gonna do it.

• 54:18Joe Rogan?

  That's how stupid it is. Just put a bunch of numbers in a computer and your door to your bedroom explodes.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Make the boobs bigger.

• 54:25Joe Rogan?

  That's so ridiculous.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 54:27Joe Rogan?

  It's funny because people probably thought, "One day."

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:30Joe Rogan?

  And that, they might be right.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  According to the plot, they, uh, they hacked some, they hooked some electrodes up and they hack into a government computer system for more power.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Oh, for more power. Awesome, dude. Believable plot, table for one.

• 54:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, as long as we have more power, we can just make a lady.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  But I guess when you're watching that, yeah, you're just like, that's, yeah, that's how...

• 54:49Joe Rogan?

  What are the odds that it makes a hot lady? Like, what are the odds?

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:52Joe Rogan?

  That that works, first time ever. Two fucking high school kids figured it out. And we were like, "Take my money. Tell me this amazing story."

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, dude. I'm surprised there was no scary movie type parody of that, of them like, making the wrong gal or something, you know?

• 55:05Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Like John Goodman in a wig comes out.

• 55:09Joe Rogan?

  What year was that?

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Eighty-five.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Eighty-five, good for us.

• 55:12Joe Rogan?

  What year was Soul Man?

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Uh, probably like eighty-nine?

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Soul Man, I haven't seen Soul Man.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  Eighty-six.

• 55:20Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 55:21Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 55:22Joe Rogan?

  Okay, go to that.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:25Joe Rogan?

  Soul Man.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  See Thomas Howell?

• 55:27Joe Rogan?

  See Thomas Howell pretends to be black. So he'd go to a different school.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  He'd like, he, I forget how it happened.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 55:33Joe Rogan?

  What the fuck?

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 55:36Joe Rogan?

  Yup. Bro, it's...

• 55:38Speaker 02

  No!

• 55:39Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it's crazy.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  Julia Louis! No! It's not even good!

• 55:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, God, what, oh, man. Yeah, Julia Louise Dreyfus is in it. James Earl's in it. Bro. How did he sign off on this? Because people didn't know any better back then. Yeah, all right, fair enough, they didn't. They were basically just climbing out of the caves and they were like, what year is this?

• 56:02Speaker 04

  He intentionally takes too many tanning pills to turn his skin darker and gets a scholarship.

• 56:06Joe Rogan?

  Meant for African Americans. Tanning pills. He took tanning pills, like as if they had tanning pills back then. Is that pre-tanning bed? What, dude, again.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  They have a peptide now.

• 56:15Joe Rogan?

  Now, do you think somebody pitched? They have a peptide now that can actually give you a tan. What does it do? Does it like just jack up your melanin?

• 56:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, what's a melanin?

• 56:23Joe Rogan?

  Somebody give that shit to Rachel Dolezal, see if they take her back. Oh, my God, did somebody pitch a, do you think somebody was like, we got, we need a blackface movie? But what's the story? And they're like. Well, it was a comedy. He wants to be tan, he takes too many, he tans too hard. It was a, yeah. And he can't get into scholarship any other way? Is that, that must have been. Is that part of it? I guess, right? So he got a scholarship because he was black? Studies. Yeah. Do you have to be African American to stuff, study African American studies? That doesn't even make sense. We're finding some holes in this. That's just as bad as Weird Science. This is fucking, this is more science fiction.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  I found an, uh, New York Times 1985 article talking about, uh, warning pills about getting an early tan. They had pills for getting a tan back then.

• 57:05Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, what did it do? I know like carrots will do that to you.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  It says FDA replied, canthanaxanin is not approved for use to be ingested for, to color the human body.

• 57:17Joe Rogan?

  What? In oral tanning products, the use of canthanaxanin in oral tanning products is illegal. Tanning products have been seized under the provisions of the Food Drug and Cosmetic Act and further attempts to import these tanning product, oh, it's all imported. FDA warns that tanning pills contain food colorings that accumulate in the blood, skin, fatty tissue, and organs, such as the liver. They even cause the user's skin to acquire an, they often cause the user's skin to acquire an orange tint.

• 57:50Speaker 00

  I didn't take the pills. I took no pills. They told me to take the pills. I said, I don't need it.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  I took a lot of those pills. I took two of those pills.

• 57:59Joe Rogan?

  Would you love the Biden cocktail? What they would give him when he would have to do like press conferences or a debate? The debate cocktail must be extraordinary.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  It was just Capri Sun and Plan B gummies.

• 58:12Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it must be extraordinary. What happened to this guy? Get a real tan, not a fake orange tan. Sun tan pills. You can get a real tan.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 58:21Joe Rogan?

  That guy looks, yeah, he went from like white guy to...

• 58:24Speaker 04

  That's not real. I know. It's not real.

• 58:25Joe Rogan?

  No, they put a filter on his ass. But they used to be able to sell anything in the back of magazines and it would just be a total scam.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 58:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  You knew it was a scam just because it's in the back of the mag or what?

• 58:35Joe Rogan?

  X-ray goggles and all kinds of shit that didn't work.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Like SkyMall shit?

• 58:38Joe Rogan?

  No, it was like the back of stupid magazines and stuff. They were just fake ads. There was no rules back then. Fuck. People just scam people, sell you things that was totally horseshit and you're like, you're stupid enough to send your money through the mail.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:50Joe Rogan?

  And you never got anything back.

• 58:51Speaker 02

  I'll see some of that stuff on Amazon every now and then where I'm like, how is this up there? Like, there's certain...

• 58:56Joe Rogan?

  Amazon has a lot of fake products, unfortunately. There's a lot of fake supplements that are sold on Amazon.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  No way.

• 59:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so if you buy from a major company like Pure Encapsulations.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  Why don't they filter?

• 59:07Speaker 04

  TikTok trend again somehow, obviously.

• 59:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, TikTok trend again. Tanning pills. They're taking it again.

• 59:13Speaker 02

  It's not surprising. We love our pills. America, what do we love? Our free speech and our pills and our McDonald's?

• 59:18Joe Rogan?

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• 59:58Joe Rogan?

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• 1:00:39Joe Rogan?

  Um, what is the, what's the, can I, can you show me what it looks like? Is there like a before and after taking that stuff?

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  That's what I was, that's what I did. That's what this guy was.

• 1:00:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but there's gotta be like some modern people. Are those, that one's AI in the second row, right? With that girl with the crazy eyes?

• 1:00:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:58Joe Rogan?

  So this guy took it, interesting.

• 1:01:01Speaker 04

  He could have also just put tan English on his skin.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, that's the thing too. It's like those before and after weight loss things. It's like, was it really the product or did you just take some time off?

• 1:01:09Joe Rogan?

  We were talking about last night, Brendan Schaub and I, one time, we were watching these bodybuilders. And you know, bodybuilders used to dye all of their skin, including their face.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  For what?

• 1:01:20Joe Rogan?

  Well, the more, the darker your skin is, the more contrast, the more it shows your muscles.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 1:01:25Joe Rogan?

  So when they get like real shredded and they, they dye their skin like super dark brown.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  I always wondered why they were all so...

• 1:01:31Joe Rogan?

  But now, after the woke stuff, it's become offensive to dye your face. So they dye their whole body and they leave their face white. So they have chocolate body, full chocolate body, white face. It's so silly. It's so silly. It's like, what are you doing?

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Who got him, who?

• 1:01:50Joe Rogan?

  What is this craziness you've done here?

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Who complained about that?

• 1:01:53Joe Rogan?

  Look at him, look.

• 1:01:55Joe Rogan?

  Look at you. Look how kooky that is. That's not even the kookiest. There's some really kooky ones. Where people have white faces.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Dude, what are you doing?

• 1:02:07Joe Rogan?

  There's a whole video of me and Shob, like, with a bunch of different examples in it where we thought was really funny.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Man, the discipline of the bodybuilders.

• 1:02:14Joe Rogan?

  Weird because they, yeah, like, look at that guy. That's ridiculous. Because he can't do his face like that because he looks fully black.

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  So now you just have to accept that this is how they're all gonna come out and look on stage and just...

• 1:02:28Joe Rogan?

  Well, that guy went for it. He's like, "Fuck it."

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Fuck it?

• 1:02:30Joe Rogan?

  Fuck it, I'm going blackface.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's Bred Brinestein.

• 1:02:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can kinda go brown face, but if you wanna get full chocolate body, like, some guys go full dark. Like, so dark, they could be like straight from Cameroon.

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  That guy's pretty dark right there. I mean, damn, look at those quads. That's what I wanna know, like, and I mean, no disrespect by this. What, what, why? Why, like, what makes you wanna have... There was a girl I went to elementary school with, and she, for a little bit, became a bodybuilder. And I think, I looked at it as she had kids, I think she was maybe midlife crisis and was just like, "I wanna do something where I push myself and get into shredded amazing shape." Is how I viewed it from a Facebook vantage point. But like, is this in you as a kid? Is it like, you have a thirst for working out and then you just go too far?

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  Or is it the same way we like, stand up and have an addiction to that and a love for it? Is it really like, "I wanna compete and win at this." It's not just about looking good, it's about like, having the best instrument and competing against other bodies and having the best body, is that...

• 1:03:41Joe Rogan?

  Well, litter is a bodybuilding competition.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  Right, but like, why, like, to have your legs look like that? What is the...

• 1:03:48Joe Rogan?

  Different people like different things, Adam Ray.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:03:51Joe Rogan?

  You know, and they clearly like being jacked.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:53Joe Rogan?

  They like looking like that. They like being, that look like a fucking living human Incredible Hulk.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:59Joe Rogan?

  They like it.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:00Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  And they're still, yeah, they're still just people.

• 1:04:03Joe Rogan?

  I mean, it's, people have always been fascinated by extreme bodies. That's why Pumping Iron was such a big film. People are fascinated by people that are willing to do this and go that far with something.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Joe Rogan?

  Here's the question, though. What bothers you about it? Does it bother you like it's a waste of time?

• 1:04:20Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no.

• 1:04:21Joe Rogan?

  Why would you want to do that?

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  I guess why, I guess it's just so far.

• 1:04:24Joe Rogan?

  Here's my question.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:26Joe Rogan?

  If they had a pill and I give you this pill and all of a sudden you look like that, are you taking it or not?

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Well, let me.

• 1:04:33Joe Rogan?

  No work.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  So when I.

• 1:04:35Joe Rogan?

  It's the lottery in a pill.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  So let me, let me answer that question with, when I played Vince McMahon on the rock show about his life for a few seasons on NBC, I got a trainer to bulk up, I got a little bigger, not Vince big, but there was a moment where a friend of mine came to me and was like, there's an easy way and there's a, not an easy way. And I was like, what's the easy way? And he did suggest like some crazy shit. And I was like, I don't think I want to be, look like that unless the show really asked me. But I don't think I would.

• 1:05:06Joe Rogan?

  Would you want to look like Canelo Alvarez?

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:05:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, sitting in a pill?

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:11Joe Rogan?

  You'd take that?

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:12Joe Rogan?

  You'd take really good muscular physique, nothing crazy.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  Nothing crazy.

• 1:05:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, and no judgment. Maybe I.

• 1:05:20Joe Rogan?

  But you would take that pill, right?

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  I guess I'm more impressed.

• 1:05:26Joe Rogan?

  That was when Vince was 100 years old.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  I'm more impressed by the, I guess the discipline of, of what you must have to do. Because I know that it's not just like taking stuff to make your legs look that defined and muscular, like there's.

• 1:05:38Joe Rogan?

  To be that guy at his age, that's bananas. Because like you look at Vince McMahon's build, I don't give a fuck how old he is. I don't care if he's 80, I don't care if he's 40. Like if you're built that way, you're putting in hours, period. You're putting in hours. There's no way around it. Like steroids don't make you grow, they make you recover.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:05:59Joe Rogan?

  I mean, they do make you grow a little. I think if you, I think the, if you just took them and didn't do any work at all, I think they do put some muscle on you. But that kind of muscle is continual work over decades. That guy's super jacked.

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's why I'm so split on the baseball steroid stuff where it's like Barry Bonds, yeah, he took.

• 1:06:18Joe Rogan?

  It's the only thing fun about the game. Give them the roids, let them hit the ball. Are we fucking stupid? Do you want to compete with China or no?

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 1:06:28Joe Rogan?

  America, do we have the means? Yes, we do. Do we know how it works? Yes, we do. But what are we doing skinny? What do we, what do we got all these skinny hitters for?

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  That's so funny. Oh, we gotta make sure no one's cheating.

• 1:06:40Joe Rogan?

  Make it legal.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Hit all the home runs.

• 1:06:42Joe Rogan?

  Make it legal, make it mandatory. I want every baseball player to be roided out of his mind. Just giant fucking superhero looking dudes who crush it into the fucking parking lot. Crack. I want baseball bats broken like five out of 10 games.

• 1:06:58Speaker 02

  Greg Giraldo had a great old joke. He goes, "I want Barry Bonds to come out as one giant chest muscle." And he was saying how it's so fucked that Congress was like cracking down on that and taking away records. He goes, "You're taking away records." He goes, "You know what else?" He goes, "'Cause they say it's an illicit substance." "You know what else is an illicit substance? Crack cocaine. No one's taking gold records away from Whitney Houston." One of my favorite Giraldo jokes. Come on. But he's right. And you're right, I think. I mean, it is.

• 1:07:24Joe Rogan?

  I did a TV show with Barry Bonds. I did a.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Please, the floor was yours.

• 1:07:29Joe Rogan?

  There was a show that I did, a baseball show called Hardball, where I played this baseball player. And one of the episodes, it was Barry Bonds was like the guest for the day. Super nice guy.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 1:07:40Joe Rogan?

  But he was normal sized Barry Bonds back then.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  Still ripping it, by the way.

• 1:07:44Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Still like one of the best baseball players of all time and super nice guy. Like real friendly to everybody. And it was just like, "Holy shit, that's Barry Bonds. Like this show must be for real." It wasn't for real. It got cancelled.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:07:55Joe Rogan?

  The show died. But we did get Barry Bonds.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 1:07:58Joe Rogan?

  But it was, uh, it was interesting because I got to see him as normal sized Barry Bonds.

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:02Joe Rogan?

  And then he got.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  There was a difference. Fucking jacked. Dude, it's like. Bro, he got fucking jacked. But you still have to hand-eye coordination. You still have to hit the ball.

• 1:08:11Joe Rogan?

  100%.

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  It's not making your eyes clear, right? It's not like.

• 1:08:14Joe Rogan?

  It's definitely making your body perform better and on top of that, recover quicker. So you could do more work.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  So that's, that's the main reason people do it. It's the recovery.

• 1:08:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Well, not just the big fa- just, not just recovery, but your ability to work. Like it, like especially guys who take EPO, like that was with the Lance Armstrong stuff and the cyclists. What they're doing is so difficult for your body to compete in like Tour de France. That, notice I said France, like I'm sophisticated? That's really good. Tour de France.

• 1:08:48Joe Rogan?

  I felt so pretentious. You gotta do that, you really did. I felt pretentious after I said France, I was like ew. You wear it well. Ew. It's been argued, I think successfully, that you, it's healthier to do that event on drugs. Right. It's healthier to be taking steroids and EPO for your body because you're asking so much of your body. It's so taxing, it's so fucking absolutely brutal, that it's like you probably should take something. But the problem was, you weren't supposed to, and everybody was, and they were like blood doping and doing all kinds of crazy. God damn. Did you ever see the documentary Icarus? No. Oh my god dude. Put it in the queue. Want to talk about a documentary that you have to watch? Yeah. Award winning, won a bunch of awards, it's fucking incredible, and it's the most like...

• 1:09:32Joe Rogan?

  The circumstances just laid out so perfectly, like it was meant to be. So this guy, he does this documentary, and Brian Fogle, right? Brian Fogle, great guy, did a guest, was a guest on the podcast a couple times. Did this documentary where he's a cyclist, and he wanted to cycle this race, compete in this race, natural. And then hire someone to show him exactly how to cheat, and take everything that like a cheater would take. And, and just take all the steroids and all the EPO and all that stuff, and then do the same race. And see what the score is, see the differences. So he hires this guy who's the head of the Russian anti-doping organization.

• 1:10:15Joe Rogan?

  Well, while he is hiring this guy, while the guy is prescribing him steroids and telling him what to take. That guy gets in trouble, because it turns out they had, they had doped the entire Sochi Olympics team. The entire Russian team, there was this huge scandal. They had drilled a hole in the wall, and they were passing the dirty piss through, and they were getting a new bottle of clean piss. No way. And they found it through microscopic scratches in these supposedly unopenable jars. These jars are supposedly impossible to open, and so once they sealed them off, they felt like these will be sealed until we open it.

• 1:10:56Joe Rogan?

  Well then, the Russians figured out a way to open the jars, and then they would swap out the piss and put in the good piss.

• 1:11:02Speaker 02

  Oh my.

• 1:11:03Joe Rogan?

  Crazy. So now this guy lays out exactly how he did it in the documentary. He lays out the whole program and then he's on the run. So now he's in America and he's in like witness, he's like witness protection program. Like they want to kill him.

• 1:11:17Speaker 02

  Currently?

• 1:11:18Joe Rogan?

  Yes, currently. He's in hiding right now. And the documentary is wild.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  You should get Danny the Dick, what's his name? Danny the private investigator, Danny Dick, what's his name?

• 1:11:27Joe Rogan?

  Dave Dolan, Dickless, Dave Dolan. He's dead now, unfortunately.

• 1:11:31Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:11:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  Oh, that's why you said that, I'm sorry.

• 1:11:33Joe Rogan?

  That's okay. So when they, so this, after this, the Russians got banned. I think it was the Rio Olympics was next after that. And they couldn't compete. They couldn't compete as Russians. They had to compete as, they had to be independent.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:11:49Joe Rogan?

  They couldn't represent Russia if they wanted to compete in the Olympics.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  To go to that extent to pull that off is just.

• 1:11:55Joe Rogan?

  He said they doped up everybody except the figure skaters. He said the figure skaters, it didn't seem to give them any improvement. Cause it was all just really fine motor skills.

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  So they were probably doing it for a while to see how it, to do a trial and error.

• 1:12:07Joe Rogan?

  They tried everything on everybody. It's, this is what happens when you have a military run country that like puts so much, so much pride in the accomplishments of its athletes.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:12:19Joe Rogan?

  You know, it's like very important that its athletes show dominance like, and Russia shows dominance in Olympics in the most manly of events. Like their wrestling is, their wrestling is as good as any country on earth. It may be better than.

• 1:12:33Speaker 04

  Was a Russian figure skater doping situation in 2022.

• 1:12:37Joe Rogan?

  She was 15. She tested positive for the banned heart medication, trimetazidine. You're on that, right? A sample collected from the Russian national championships, December 2021. The result only reported because of Beijing Olympics in February 2022, after she had already competed. Did she have a heart problem? I mean, is that like a medication that she's supposed to take?

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  I mean, the court of arbitration banned it for four years.

• 1:13:04Joe Rogan?

  Wow, interesting. So, well, okay, well, let's put in, what is that heart medication?

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  Due to a contamination of a strawberry dessert prepared on the same table as her grandfather's heart medication pills.

• 1:13:16Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  Explanation.

• 1:13:19Joe Rogan?

  And she said it was ultimately rejected as implausible. Um, let's find out what the positive effects of taking that drug would be. Put in that drug and then put in performance enhancing. What do you think?

• 1:13:36Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 1:13:40Joe Rogan?

  You think it's got a performance enhancing, a heart medication?

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 1:13:44Joe Rogan?

  What does perplexity say?

• 1:13:45Speaker 04

  Probably like EPO, wouldn't it be?

• 1:13:46Joe Rogan?

  Metabolic modular.

• 1:13:47Speaker 02

  Increases blood flow to the heart, stimulates, yeah.

• 1:13:49Joe Rogan?

  Enhances physical efficiency and endurance by improving how the body uses energy, particularly by shifting energy substrate used from fatty acids to glucose oxidation. It increases blood flow to the heart and stimulates glucose metabolism, resulting in better endurance performance. Its effects are different from typical muscle building or stimulant-like performance enhancers. Rather, it may improve exercise capacity, stamina, and reduce fatigue by optimizing mitochondrial function and cardiac energetics. I want to get on it right now.

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  I was just gonna say, this sounds incredible. Holy shit.

• 1:14:22Joe Rogan?

  When Derek More Plates More Dates comes on, bring that up. Make a little bookmark.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  Comedians will never, I mean, there's no doping for us, right?

• 1:14:29Joe Rogan?

  No, except weed. Weed is definitely a superpower.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  But that's not like making you, yeah.

• 1:14:33Joe Rogan?

  It's a superpower. Weed's a superpower. It's a superpower for self-deprecation, too. You know, the one thing that like, like we're talking about the green room, the guy who can't take a joke about himself, like, he's never high.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:14:44Joe Rogan?

  If you're high and somebody makes fun of you, like, oh.

• 1:14:46Speaker 06

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• 1:15:16Joe Rogan?

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• 1:15:59Joe Rogan?

  Go to drinkag1.com/joe for a limited time. Get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D tossed in with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro, backed by a 90-day money-back guarantee. That's drinkag1.com/joe. No, you're right.

• 1:16:25Speaker 02

  Do you, will you have a little Eddie or a little puff before you go onstage? You try to keep it clear.

• 1:16:33Speaker 00

  Allegedly. Nice and slow.

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  I like this guy. I like this guy.

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  Thirty years.

• 1:16:40Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to be Johnny Depp's agent when I go and kill Tony and come up briefly.

• 1:16:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, this is what the question I forgot to ask about the 30-year thing. What if you just take it all at once? What percentage do you get?

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  That, so yeah, I did find out you do get it all if you take it over 30 years, and you get a 5% increase every year for inflation.

• 1:16:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you, if you, you get it all if you live 30 years. Like, my point was, if I win the fucking lottery and I'm 24 years old, I ain't making it 30 years.

• 1:17:04Speaker 04

  It goes to your estate if you don't.

• 1:17:05Joe Rogan?

  Fuck my estate.

• 1:17:06Speaker 04

  I'm just saying.

• 1:17:07Joe Rogan?

  I'm trying to ball out here. What are you talking about?

• 1:17:09Speaker 02

  I'm trying to ball, Jamie, damn it.

• 1:17:11Joe Rogan?

  I'm trying to get a rose.

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  A jet, yeah.

• 1:17:13Joe Rogan?

  I want diamonds in my tefis.

• 1:17:15Speaker 02

  Would you go, wow, you would, huh?

• 1:17:18Joe Rogan?

  Full grill?

• 1:17:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm surprised you haven't at this point.

• 1:17:22Joe Rogan?

  Maybe one day. Maybe when it all falls, starts falling apart, I'll start doing heroin, get a grill.

• 1:17:28Joe Rogan?

  I want to try crack.

• 1:17:29Speaker 04

  At the very, it doesn't.

• 1:17:31Joe Rogan?

  Hunter Biden was talking about it. It's like, it sounds wonderful.

• 1:17:33Speaker 04

  It's not giving me an exact number. At the very least, you gotta take out the 37% for federal taxes.

• 1:17:37Joe Rogan?

  37%? The government takes 37%. These motherfuckers.

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  That's wild, dude.

• 1:17:43Joe Rogan?

  You didn't buy one ticket, you cunts.

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:17:45Speaker 04

  It's still income, though.

• 1:17:46Joe Rogan?

  And it's your money.

• 1:17:47Speaker 02

  That sucks.

• 1:17:48Joe Rogan?

  You, you, you buy the tickets and they're like, "Yeah, we got all the money from it, but then we want more of your money, too."

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:54Joe Rogan?

  We want money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money. And then what happens after that?

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  Uh, it says that depends on, then state taxes depends on where you live, because...

• 1:18:03Joe Rogan?

  Okay, so 37%, but if you get one payout all at once, is it the 2 billion?

• 1:18:09Speaker 04

  No, I mean, you'd get like 1 point, whatever the fuck it is. It's also lower.

• 1:18:13Joe Rogan?

  But it's not just the 37% taxes that get drawn out. If you take it in one payment, you get less.

• 1:18:18Speaker 04

  It's giving me an, uh, on a 593 million dollar jackpot for some reason, the pre-tunk, pre-tax lump sum cash option is approximately 277.6.

• 1:18:29Joe Rogan?

  At a 500?

• 1:18:30Speaker 04

  Yikes. It's almost 600.

• 1:18:32Joe Rogan?

  So you get less than half?

• 1:18:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:34Joe Rogan?

  But you, you get it right now?

• 1:18:37Speaker 04

  But you're getting it tomorrow.

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  I think that's what I'd do.

• 1:18:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I'm stupid. I would do that.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  Take it all.

• 1:18:40Joe Rogan?

  Give me it all right now. I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

• 1:18:43Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:18:44Joe Rogan?

  Especially after I get this kazam.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  Dude, I would, oh, man, I'd, I'd probably, I'd probably go to like, I'd go to Shaq, I'd be like, "You wanna make kazam, too?" I'd buy, I'd buy a house near my folks.

• 1:18:57Joe Rogan?

  I'd go to Elon and go, "How much for a rocket?"

• 1:19:00Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:19:02Joe Rogan?

  How much?

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  You want your own?

• 1:19:05Speaker 02

  He's like, "Are you serious?"

• 1:19:06Joe Rogan?

  Bro, if I got to, if I got to Jeff Bezos' money, for sure, I'm buying a rocket.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  And where are you going with it?

• 1:19:13Joe Rogan?

  Wherever.

• 1:19:13Speaker 02

  Rachel Kukumunga?

• 1:19:14Joe Rogan?

  Wherever.

• 1:19:16Speaker 04

  They're barely reusable.

• 1:19:17Joe Rogan?

  They will be by then, if I get that old and that rich.

• 1:19:20Speaker 02

  What happened to the? What happened to the, the subway system that was supposed to go like LA to San Fran in like a minute?

• 1:19:27Joe Rogan?

  What was that?

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:19:28Joe Rogan?

  No, come on, they, I feel like you've talked about it. The boring company? No, the boring thing was like, traffic.

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  It was gonna be some sort of fast.

• 1:19:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the high-speed rail.

• 1:19:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that was really just a money scam. Fuck. They didn't do anything. Almost like helicopter Uber was like, I think lasted for two days. How much did they spend on the high-speed rail project? Let's find that out. I did not. Let's take a guess. I would not have got on that.

• 1:19:51Speaker 04

  I don't think that they've spent at all, but there is, it says four billion dollars in federal funding.

• 1:19:57Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:19:57Speaker 04

  Has implications.

• 1:19:58Joe Rogan?

  What a great idea. And how much have they built?

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  Oh, none.

• 1:20:04Joe Rogan?

  They're like tired of. What other company? What other company? Imagine if you, you hired General Dynamics, whatever, and said, hey, uh, how much for you guys to make me, uh, train? And make it go really fast? Yeah. And they said, well, I think we could do it for about four billion. And like, okay, let's do it. Thanks for the budget. And then you give them the money and then, you know, you go back 10 years later, you're busy. You're not paying attention. You're like, hey, how's the, uh, train doing? How far have you guys get? Not great. Not great. We didn't get anywhere. Yeah, we didn't get anywhere. We don't have any more money. But I thought you were telling us. What did you? What'd you spend it on? What happened? Well, there's a lot of NGOs that are attached to this. We also bought a lot of Powerball tickets. And we had an indigenous land, which is a land acknowledgement.

• 1:20:42Speaker 04

  They have a smaller version in Florida and there are people dying all the time.

• 1:20:46Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 1:20:46Speaker 04

  Because people will think that they can beat it and they can't.

• 1:20:49Joe Rogan?

  What? Wait, beat, wait.

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  They think, because they think in Florida, there's tons of trains going all the time. It's a normal train and you think you can get across and fa- faster.

• 1:20:56Joe Rogan?

  Oh, so it's a lot faster than the normal train?

• 1:20:59Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 1:20:59Joe Rogan?

  What kind of train is this? It goes 125 miles an hour?

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:02Joe Rogan?

  Regular train's like what, 80? Oh, so how many people, 180 deaths making America's most dangerous passenger train? It just because people try to run across the tracks?

• 1:21:11Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:21:11Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that's so crazy. And now you put up stats like that and you got some psycho kids that are like, well now, now. Oh, my god. Look at how many people have died, now we gotta go test the limits. Could you show me what it looks like when it goes by? Is there a video of it going by? It's the Randy Johnson of trains. I want to see it drive by. Yeah, there's gotta be a video. I want to see what that's like. There was one that I just saw from, uh, I think it was Japan, that's bananas. Can you imagine getting hit by a train? Oh, dude. That might be real. It'd be instantaneous. Yeah, I guess you wouldn't feel anything. Let's see how fast it goes. Whoa. Oh, that's pretty quick. Yeah. That's scary. That's. That's quick. See that again.

• 1:21:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:54Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 1:21:56Joe Rogan?

  Woo. But the one in, uh, I think it was Japan. I think Japan has some new crazy high-speed one that's like three times faster than that.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  Why?

• 1:22:05Joe Rogan?

  They wanna get somewhere quick.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:07Joe Rogan?

  No time to waste, motherfucker.

• 1:22:09Speaker 02

  I know, time is money.

• 1:22:10Joe Rogan?

  Gotta get going.

• 1:22:10Speaker 02

  I know, dude.

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  That's really what it is.

• 1:22:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, they're, they're making jets now that are gonna be supersonic again, you know, after the con- watch this, watch this, motherfucker, watch this.

• 1:22:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  Wait, that's not AI?

• 1:22:25Joe Rogan?

  Holy shit. Holy shit. No, that's not AI, this is Japan's new train.

• 1:22:31Speaker 04

  Says it's 310 miles an hour.

• 1:22:33Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 1:22:35Joe Rogan?

  Watch this again.

• 1:22:35Speaker 02

  I don't-

• 1:22:36Joe Rogan?

  Watch this again, this is so crazy.

• 1:22:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, that didn't look, that looked faster than the 180, but that, so that's probably saving how much time, do you think? If you're going, so LA to San Fran is like what?

• 1:22:52Joe Rogan?

  Time is money, motherfucker, time is money.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  You're so ahead of things.

• 1:22:56Joe Rogan?

  If you wanna keep everybody safe, let's go 35 miles an hour, and then you know what you have to worry about? Train robbers, they hop on board, cuz it's so slow, they can grab it.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  Oh, wow, is that what the speed increase is for?

• 1:23:06Joe Rogan?

  Like when they're going uphill?

• 1:23:07Speaker 02

  People still-

• 1:23:08Joe Rogan?

  That's when the train robbers would jump on board.

• 1:23:09Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:10Joe Rogan?

  They'd wait, they'd wait till you're about to go uphill.

• 1:23:11Speaker 02

  What a cool life, dude. In my next life, I'm gonna be a train robber.

• 1:23:15Joe Rogan?

  Bro, don't do that.

• 1:23:16Speaker 04

  I don't know what it's like. Tokyo to Osaka in under an hour.

• 1:23:19Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, how far is that? Don't give me kilometers.

• 1:23:23Speaker 04

  It's all, it's all in kilometers.

• 1:23:24Speaker 02

  Don't you dare give me kilometers, Jimmy.

• 1:23:25Joe Rogan?

  Why didn't they teach us that in school?

• 1:23:27Speaker 02

  Kilometers?

• 1:23:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they could've. We could all be using that. We could've abandoned this nonsense that makes us confused as to how the rest of the world measures things.

• 1:23:35Speaker 04

  375?

• 1:23:37Joe Rogan?

  Whoa!

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:23:39Joe Rogan?

  375 miles an hour is crazy.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  So it's, they've been fucking with this for a while, and we just aren't doing it cuz?

• 1:23:49Joe Rogan?

  They blew the money!

• 1:23:51Speaker 02

  Oh, but that was the only operation potentially to get it going, or?

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  Some discussions have been talked about to get it going before either the, which won't happen, the World Cup or the Olympics. In 2026.

• 1:24:01Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24:02Joe Rogan?

  All we need is an additional four billion and we should be on schedule.

• 1:24:05Speaker 04

  They're like privatizing.

• 1:24:07Joe Rogan?

  Of course we are.

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:24:10Joe Rogan?

  I love America. It's just so filled with crazy bullshit.

• 1:24:14Speaker 02

  So, yeah.

• 1:24:15Joe Rogan?

  It's so, it's so goddamn gooey.

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  There's a lot of fun stuff to talk about right now, right? Doesn't it?

• 1:24:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:19Speaker 02

  Do you find as a comic, the crazier shit is, the more fun it is on stage or no?

• 1:24:23Joe Rogan?

  For sure. Uh, this is faster than either flying between the two cities or taking the one and a half hour trip to the current Taikado line available with, uh, the Japanese rail pass. The proposed route will include stops, stations at Shingawa, Sagamihara, Kofu, Lida, and Nakasugawa. Sorry.

• 1:24:49Speaker 02

  We'll go with that.

• 1:24:49Joe Rogan?

  Originally planned, uh, only extend as far as Shingawa Station, the creation of the short underground route to central Tokyo, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. So how fast is it? I mean, where, how far is it going? Does it say?

• 1:25:00Speaker 04

  Forty minutes to, I mean, it's kind of an hour and a half. It doesn't say the distance.

• 1:25:04Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 1:25:04Speaker 04

  A hundred and seventy-seven miles. Eighty percent of the hundred and seventy-seven miles will be located underground.

• 1:25:08Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 1:25:10Speaker 04

  Fifty-five billion dollars.

• 1:25:11Speaker 02

  Scary.

• 1:25:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 1:25:13Speaker 02

  Fifty-five bill.

• 1:25:14Joe Rogan?

  Imagine going three hundred and seventy-five miles an hour underground?

• 1:25:17Speaker 04

  A thousand people at a time, though.

• 1:25:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:25:20Speaker 04

  That's like ten planes.

• 1:25:21Joe Rogan?

  You're making me nauseous.

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, even the New York subway sometimes goes too fast. You see that video of the woman falling asleep? God bless her, dude. Everybody, I think it was in San Francisco, right?

• 1:25:29Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 1:25:30Speaker 02

  A woman fell asleep at the, um, at the wheel for, in the subway. Nobody died, but it, she definitely went off the track for a minute and everybody fell over.

• 1:25:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then she, and then everybody was freaking out and she opened the door and goes, "Hey, chill out. We're fine." But like she very, I mean, maybe she didn't remember that she's on camera, so like they got her just passing out. I mean, I'm surprised that doesn't happen more, honestly. Those are crazy hours they're working.

• 1:25:55Joe Rogan?

  I didn't know there was a person running that still. Why don't they use AI?

• 1:25:59Speaker 02

  Psych, we got you. You're on my new hidden camera show. We got you there, we got you there.

• 1:26:02Joe Rogan?

  That's it, that's how it works.

• 1:26:02Speaker 02

  No, there is a, yeah. AI for the subway?

• 1:26:05Joe Rogan?

  That's how AI takes over everything. You have these kind of conversations. Why don't they just use AI for that? And AI's like, "You're right, you should use us. We could make it so efficient that it's ninety-nine point nine percent safe as opposed to the current level of ninety-eight percent safe."

• 1:26:22Speaker 02

  That was really good.

• 1:26:23Joe Rogan?

  We could approximately save five million lives over the course of the next 20 years.

• 1:26:29Speaker 02

  Is that what AI, this-

• 1:26:30Joe Rogan?

  This lady just fell asleep?

• 1:26:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, so she's on like a rail.

• 1:26:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like outside in San Francisco.

• 1:26:37Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:26:38Speaker 04

  Going 50 miles an hour.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  It is surprising that with the Waymos-

• 1:26:41Joe Rogan?

  And she just fell asleep?

• 1:26:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 1:26:44Speaker 02

  Just derailed, didn't crash.

• 1:26:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, that's so nuts.

• 1:26:47Speaker 02

  And she, I just thought it was funny that she was like, chill out, we're fine.

• 1:26:51Joe Rogan?

  Cold.

• 1:26:52Speaker 04

  Eight in the morning, maybe?

• 1:26:54Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:26:55Speaker 02

  Boom, look at that. Can you imagine? Oh.

• 1:26:58Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, that's nuts.

• 1:27:00Speaker 02

  People went down.

• 1:27:02Joe Rogan?

  That is nuts.

• 1:27:05Speaker 02

  Hands in her pockets, like.

• 1:27:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta be 10 and 2, I think.

• 1:27:11Joe Rogan?

  She's got great lashes, though.

• 1:27:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:13Joe Rogan?

  Great eyelashes. Yeah, man, that's crazy. They should have a computer running that thing.

• 1:27:19Speaker 02

  Have you done the Waymo yet?

• 1:27:20Joe Rogan?

  No!

• 1:27:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay, thank you.

• 1:27:22Joe Rogan?

  I'm not gonna be a traitor to the human race.

• 1:27:25Speaker 02

  That's your logic.

• 1:27:26Joe Rogan?

  This is the first shot across the bow in the robot war.

• 1:27:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:29Joe Rogan?

  Except the fact that robots are gonna drive you everywhere.

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  I don't want that.

• 1:27:32Joe Rogan?

  Meanwhile, I drove my Tesla here today.

• 1:27:33Speaker 02

  It's fine. It's different.

• 1:27:34Joe Rogan?

  Basically the same thing. It's pretending I'm in control.

• 1:27:37Speaker 02

  Is it awesome?

• 1:27:38Joe Rogan?

  You're doing a great job steering, Joe.

• 1:27:39Speaker 02

  Is it awesome?

• 1:27:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's incredible. It drives itself.

• 1:27:42Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:27:42Joe Rogan?

  If I wanted to. I don't ever do it, but if I wanted to, I could put in a dress, go boop, boop, and it just goes there. Stops at every stop sign, stops at every stoplight, changes lanes when there's an obstruction.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  So you don't have the trust built enough to like allow it to take you?

• 1:27:56Joe Rogan?

  I don't like it. I like to drive.

• 1:27:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:27:58Joe Rogan?

  I wanna drive.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:59Joe Rogan?

  It's fun. I like driving. And I like being aware of stuff and paying attention. I don't wanna just drift off and just like let the computer do the work, but that's coming. It's coming.

• 1:28:09Speaker 02

  Are you a road trip guy?

• 1:28:10Joe Rogan?

  Nah.

• 1:28:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:28:11Joe Rogan?

  I don't have time for road trips, son.

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  You don't, yeah. Fuck, I'm sorry I asked you that question.

• 1:28:14Joe Rogan?

  Are you a road trip guy?

• 1:28:15Speaker 02

  As soon as I came out of my mouth.

• 1:28:16Joe Rogan?

  I couldn't see you in a Winnebago. Winnebago with the kids in the back, traveling across the country.

• 1:28:20Speaker 02

  That's me, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I mean, the amount of gigs early on that I did, the amount of times I went from LA to San Diego, or LA to Santa Barbara, LA to San Fran, or SAC for eight, 10 minutes. I remember Triply had some room, and Santa Barbara, I would drive eight minutes, then come back, then host a Fear Factor live show at Universal the next morning at 9 a.m. just for, and I'd drive Sam out there, or whoever it was, just to get time. But I always liked it.

• 1:28:45Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:28:45Speaker 02

  But as far as like a cross-country road trip, I, I don't know.

• 1:28:48Joe Rogan?

  That's not a road trip, though. That's just road work.

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but five, six hours, felt like a road trip.

• 1:28:54Joe Rogan?

  It's, well, it's a lot of driving, that's for damn sure.

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, but, okay, I guess, but road trip, a classic road trip.

• 1:29:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like, not even for work, just like a road trip. Just go on a trip, see the country, pull into places.

• 1:29:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'd like to do it. I mean, I, there's some people that-

• 1:29:08Joe Rogan?

  Do you ever, do you take time off?

• 1:29:09Speaker 02

  I will next week.

• 1:29:13Joe Rogan?

  For real?

• 1:29:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll just go home to Seattle.

• 1:29:15Joe Rogan?

  You're not convincing.

• 1:29:16Speaker 02

  I know. Well, just because I have, I mean, it's like, we have the Last Phil show coming up, I'm on the road, uh, with club dates for the rest of the year, and then I start my theater tour, first theater tour, January through April of next year. So that's on sale right now, adamraycomedy.com.

• 1:29:30Joe Rogan?

  Bam.

• 1:29:30Speaker 02

  Um, but I don't know, so many shows, and then Last Phil, and then writing a bunch, I don't know. I'm, there's, to me, there's not enough time in the day, but going home to Seattle for Thanksgiving will be the shutdown, because I, my nieces and nephews, I want to have, you know, a lot of time to kick with my mom and-

• 1:29:48Joe Rogan?

  Did you start stand-up up there?

• 1:29:49Speaker 02

  I did one open mic before I moved to LA, just to feel like I did it. And then I went to SC, '01 to '05, started in '07 is when I, like, jumped in.

• 1:29:59Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:30:00Speaker 02

  I did a few frat parties during college, only going off the confidence that I did it once in Seattle. For whatever reason, you know, you need the delusion to start even trying to do stand-up.

• 1:30:11Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:30:11Speaker 02

  So for whatever reason, I was able to ride the, uh, experience of once in Seattle, and go up at a frat party, and just bomb.

• 1:30:19Joe Rogan?

  Boo.

• 1:30:20Speaker 02

  I mean, I gotta find that footage. I got a few laughs when I made fun of bike cops, and then I did a little crowd work, because the girl started booing. I was for, it was before a band, and the band was an hour late. And then I had the balls to do all 30 minutes that I practiced. I should have done five and gotten off, because the band was ready, but I was like, I practiced 30, I'm doing 30. Can you imagine? And then this girl started yelling shit out and I yelled shit back and got some laughs and that's all I remember about it. My buddies, I remember just got off and they were like, "Man, that was..." "How long were you up there?" Never a good sign, nothing about what you did. But, but, uh, but really started in 07, uh, at the store and, uh, everywhere.

• 1:31:01Joe Rogan?

  You do need that delusion in the beginning.

• 1:31:04Speaker 02

  A thousand percent.

• 1:31:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you need to be slightly delusional because the dream is so ridiculous.

• 1:31:09Speaker 02

  It's so, there's, there can't be any part of you that's like, "Do people really want to hear what I have to say?" Or, "Am I really funny?" I mean, it's just like, and I, you know, I had done plays, so I was, felt comfy on stage. But that's what's so funny when, you know, there's a, a kid that I'm mentoring, but just giving advice to every time he asks and he's unfortunately looking for, you know, I think with just clips and everything now, he's just like, he's looking for shortcuts. And I'm like, I don't want to tell him not to do it, but I'm like, "Man, you're just like, you're not focused on kind of what I was telling you, which is control what you can control, which is getting on stage all the time, writing all the time, living a life worth writing about is what I tell this kid a lot, because I'm like, if you find yourself, he's a little too isolated and I'm like, you need to get your job back so you're just accumulating

• 1:31:54Speaker 02

  life experience, having things to, to pull from, but, uh, yeah. I can't imagine starting now.

• 1:32:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's gotta be...

• 1:32:05Speaker 02

  Because he's so focused on like, "I gotta get that clip."

• 1:32:07Joe Rogan?

  Uh huh, now, it's a different sort of environment, right? The clip environment, like, that's how guys are promoting their work now. It's like when...

• 1:32:16Speaker 02

  It's a blessing and a curse.

• 1:32:17Joe Rogan?

  It's definitely a blessing.

• 1:32:18Speaker 02

  A thousand percent.

• 1:32:19Joe Rogan?

  The only curse would be, because it doesn't preclude you from still doing a lot of open mics, it doesn't preclude you from working and, and, you know, opening for people and, but it can give you like an undue amount of success. Like if you have like a really good crowd work video and then a bunch of people come out to see you, but you really only have 10 minutes.

• 1:32:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:39Joe Rogan?

  You know, which happens to some folks.

• 1:32:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:42Joe Rogan?

  Because it's tricky and you don't necessarily want people watching you the first year or the first two years.

• 1:32:47Speaker 02

  Fuck no.

• 1:32:48Joe Rogan?

  Even maybe in the first three.

• 1:32:49Speaker 02

  Oh, my mom came out to see me too soon and it was bad. I did a joke, let me see if I can remember, I said something about, I was raised... Oh, they're so stupid. Just a classic misdirect. I go like, I was raised by a single mom. I grew up with just my mom and my sister. So, so I was like sensitive and blah, blah, blah, and making a joke about maybe being gay because I was raised by two women. So I go, so my mom taught me to like be kind and, and nice and take a guy out to dinner before you lick his asshole. And like, would get about this response. And then I would go, just kidding. I wouldn't take him to dinner. Bro, that was maybe my third time on stage. And my mom came to that show. It's my sweet mom, little Jew from Oklahoma. And she just, I remember after the show, she just goes, did you have fun?

• 1:33:34Speaker 02

  But the delusion to think like, I don't care if mom's here. I'm doing the joke I wrote. I mean, if you can call that a joke, but.

• 1:33:40Joe Rogan?

  Well, yeah. Well, it's also a part of being young too. And you're young. You're just, especially dudes. We're just stupid.

• 1:33:47Speaker 02

  We are.

• 1:33:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. And you think you could do anything, dumbass. But, but eventually you can, you know? That's the thing. It's like, you're gonna have to suck in the beginning. It's just with everything you do. You know, if you picked up ping pong tomorrow, you're gonna fucking suck.

• 1:34:02Speaker 02

  I thought about that.

• 1:34:03Joe Rogan?

  Ping pong?

• 1:34:03Speaker 02

  I thought about trying to, I love ping pong.

• 1:34:05Joe Rogan?

  Do you?

• 1:34:05Speaker 02

  Oh, I love it.

• 1:34:06Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:34:07Speaker 02

  Oh, I fucking love it, dude. It's so, it's probably how, I don't know how pool is for you, but like, it's relaxing, even though I know it's a little, and it's, and I shoot the shit a lot with whoever I'm playing with. It's a real like mindless almost. Um, because I don't play video games really anymore and.

• 1:34:23Joe Rogan?

  What happened? Why'd you stop?

• 1:34:26Speaker 02

  Moved out of my apartment, left the table there. I have space now. I have a house. I should fucking definitely buy one.

• 1:34:33Joe Rogan?

  It'll suck you back into that dark hole.

• 1:34:36Speaker 02

  That dark pong hole.

• 1:34:37Joe Rogan?

  That dark hole of video games. Video games are too good right now.

• 1:34:43Speaker 02

  Oh, I do. Give me, no thanks, dude.

• 1:34:45Joe Rogan?

  They're too good.

• 1:34:45Speaker 02

  I played Halo over last holidays with my brother and I, I was really high. He was not. And I started to like, I just had panic attacks. It was too real. My heart was palpitating. I was just like. And he got in my head, he was like, dude, I can't believe you let our guy die.

• 1:35:01Joe Rogan?

  This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Believe it or not, the holiday season is here again, and that means you might need to fill some seasonal roles, fast. Maybe you need extra cashiers or stalkers, or maybe something more unique like a lead elf, or an expert gift wrapper, or a Zamboni driver. Whoever you're looking for, whatever skills you need to power through the rest of the year, ZipRecruiter is one of the best places to start your search. Because you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. And because ZipRecruiter helps sort through thousands of resumes and applications, showing you the most qualified and interesting ones first.

• 1:35:44Joe Rogan?

  There's even an option for candidates to explain why they want the job. Let ZipRecruiter find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. That's ziprecruiter.com/rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners?

• 1:36:28Joe Rogan?

  Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know. I buy one, The Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier. And isn't getting more time with our four-legged best friends something every dog owner wants? The answer to that is yes, obviously.

• 1:37:08Joe Rogan?

  So try The Farmer's Dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food. Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com/rogan. This offer is for new customers only.

• 1:37:23Speaker 02

  And I was like, whoa. He's like, he's got a family. I was like, fuck. It was, it was too much.

• 1:37:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, maybe it's not for you.

• 1:37:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:37:30Joe Rogan?

  Jamie, what was that, did I send you that thing with those goggles that you could use on Steam?

• 1:37:35Speaker 02

  Dude, your brain is awesome. I'm so glad we're going back to this, because when you brought up the goggles earlier, I was like, fuck, we got off that. But I'm really curious about that, so thanks for getting us back there.

• 1:37:44Joe Rogan?

  This Steam goggles is some new thing that I saw that there's like a component that goes on the outside and there's a battery pack and it can either directly sync up to your computer or it works as a standalone. And it's showing you like AR, all the video games that are on Steam. It seems fucking nuts, right?

• 1:38:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's kind of available now though already.

• 1:38:08Joe Rogan?

  Right, but there's a new one that's supposed to be even better, that's the one that I sent you. I sent you that video, right?

• 1:38:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I'm just saying like this, it's not, I don't want to shit on it too bad, but it's not.

• 1:38:18Joe Rogan?

  Please do, because I want it.

• 1:38:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's not unfortunately, like you can do this now.

• 1:38:22Joe Rogan?

  Okay, but my point is, this is supposed to be really good, the new one, and you could play games. Like what games are on Steam? Does Steam have Quake?

• 1:38:33Speaker 04

  So that's a misunderstanding, I think you're misunderstanding that a little bit.

• 1:38:36Joe Rogan?

  You can't play any game that's on Steam?

• 1:38:38Speaker 04

  That's not what that meant, I guess. So VR games are available through Steam. And you generally have to connect a wire or something. Remember that giant setup we used to have back in the day? We were playing one of those games all through Steam.

• 1:38:48Joe Rogan?

  Okay, and we had it set up through a wire?

• 1:38:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, and so like the, on like an Oculus headset, which is what this is sort of comparing itself to.

• 1:38:56Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:38:56Speaker 04

  You have to download those games directly to that, or like have it connected to your phone.

• 1:39:00Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:39:01Speaker 04

  And without an extra wire or another device, you couldn't easily play Steam games before recently, but you kind of can now. And so they've updated the device to be like, okay, well we'll do that too now, you can just put all that tech in a.

• 1:39:13Joe Rogan?

  This is my question, the obvious one. How long before you can play VR Quake?

• 1:39:19Speaker 04

  That's, they'd have to develop that and they're not, I don't think that they want to. And also.

• 1:39:23Joe Rogan?

  On a multi-directional treadmill.

• 1:39:25Speaker 04

  It's too fast, you'd get sick, you would throw up.

• 1:39:28Joe Rogan?

  You'd get sick.

• 1:39:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, you'd get sick, we're fine.

• 1:39:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, you'd get sick. There's no good movement.

• 1:39:33Joe Rogan?

  I'd be fine.

• 1:39:34Speaker 04

  There's no good movement.

• 1:39:35Joe Rogan?

  I'd feel great.

• 1:39:36Speaker 04

  I'm just saying this.

• 1:39:37Joe Rogan?

  I'd do it fasted.

• 1:39:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:41Speaker 04

  I could put the roller coaster thing on for you right now, you probably would get real crazy.

• 1:39:44Speaker 02

  No, that's a hard pass.

• 1:39:45Speaker 04

  It's not good. It's real hard.

• 1:39:46Joe Rogan?

  No, I'm sure. I'm kidding. But I want to try. I just feel like if they really did VR Quake and you're on one of those tread- you ever see those? They strap you in at the waist, these treadmills?

• 1:39:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:39:58Joe Rogan?

  And it's like a circle and you can run in any direction?

• 1:40:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:40:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's like a contained circle.

• 1:40:03Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 1:40:04Joe Rogan?

  What are they called? Multi-directional treadmills? Is that what they're called? Omni, omnidirectional treadmills. So it's like, um, it's kind of like you're attached with like cables. And you just run on this treadmill and you know, you're running and shooting at things and like, you're probably getting some legitimate exercise.

• 1:40:19Speaker 02

  1,000% you are.

• 1:40:20Joe Rogan?

  Especially if you're doing some game where you gotta run from zombies. You know, you're running, you're fucking gunning them down and you're running and gunning down zombies. Probably amazing.

• 1:40:28Speaker 04

  Disney developed something that's not available yet. They call it the hollow tile, which is an updated version of that. Which doesn't have to be on a treadmill, like you're, you're not attached to anything. This guy's just standing still and walking.

• 1:40:38Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:40:39Speaker 04

  But this, again, like...

• 1:40:40Joe Rogan?

  But wait a minute, are they like beads?

• 1:40:42Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:40:43Joe Rogan?

  How's that working?

• 1:40:44Speaker 04

  I call it Dr. Disney, I don't fucking...

• 1:40:46Joe Rogan?

  Okay. But that doesn't seem like you can go fast.

• 1:40:49Speaker 04

  Well, that's the, you can't really go fast in this either.

• 1:40:51Joe Rogan?

  You can't go fast.

• 1:40:52Speaker 04

  I'm sure. No one, no one has.

• 1:40:56Speaker 02

  Your mom.

• 1:40:56Speaker 04

  If, if everyone really liked it and it was that good, I would, me and Red Band would have three versions of it.

• 1:41:01Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, Red Band is all over this, right?

• 1:41:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, and it's just, it's not there.

• 1:41:05Joe Rogan?

  Well, what's it look like now? Let me see what you got. Let me see a dude doing it. Total game changer. Look at that guy's sandals and tell me if you want to be him.

• 1:41:16Speaker 02

  Wait, here's his David O, verified buyer. Let me read this.

• 1:41:19Joe Rogan?

  That dude's got sandals with socks on.

• 1:41:20Speaker 02

  I love my Omni one. It has been a total game changer. Game changer. In just four months of thrilling action-packed gaming, it has shattered my weight-loss plateau and dropped an incredible 40 additional pounds. Oh, well, having an absolute blast.

• 1:41:30Joe Rogan?

  See, that's what I was thinking. Like, it'd be legitimate exercise.

• 1:41:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:41:33Joe Rogan?

  Are those, oh, that's his sneakers that are strapped in. I thought he was wearing socks with sandals. I was like, that is the wackiest shit I've ever seen.

• 1:41:39Speaker 02

  That seems kinda fun.

• 1:41:40Joe Rogan?

  You have to do it though.

• 1:41:41Speaker 04

  Most people don't want to be active while they're playing video games. It's just like, they're counterintuitive things.

• 1:41:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:41:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but we're not talking about most people, Jamie.

• 1:41:48Speaker 04

  About 99%.

• 1:41:49Speaker 02

  We're talking about a couple of athletes right there, dude.

• 1:41:51Joe Rogan?

  I'm talking about me wanting that thing in my life. So when, when he's running on that thing, what does it look like? Can we show me a video of someone using one of the things?

• 1:41:59Speaker 02

  Like, I'd be down to go to the prehistoric era and chase, fight, kill, whatever it is, dinosaurs, but be moving and shaking, right?

• 1:42:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:06Speaker 02

  Versus just being stationary.

• 1:42:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I wanna run from stuff. I want bats chasing me.

• 1:42:10Speaker 02

  It's virtual reality. It should be as real as possible.

• 1:42:12Joe Rogan?

  It's supposed to be scary.

• 1:42:14Speaker 04

  I mean, that's...

• 1:42:14Joe Rogan?

  And also, you get a workout in. Ooh, that looks actually kinda cool.

• 1:42:17Speaker 04

  Look how he's leaning so far forward there to do that. Like, that's not comfortable.

• 1:42:24Joe Rogan?

  But is he doing that on purpose?

• 1:42:26Speaker 04

  Probably not. He's probably trying to make it work.

• 1:42:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, bro, this looks awesome. You're not dissuading me. This looks amazing.

• 1:42:33Speaker 02

  This does look awesome.

• 1:42:34Speaker 04

  This could be the only...

• 1:42:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:42:35Speaker 04

  The problem, too, this could be the only game that works on it.

• 1:42:38Joe Rogan?

  I wanna shoot those things.

• 1:42:39Speaker 02

  You gotta get Martin Phillips in there.

• 1:42:40Joe Rogan?

  What other... Whatever the things are happening in that game.

• 1:42:44Speaker 04

  This is kinda my point with all of your... I've tried to tell you before. If someone made a really good game by now, ten years into this, everybody would know about it. We would've talked about it a bunch.

• 1:42:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:54Joe Rogan?

  Okay, what...

• 1:42:54Speaker 04

  And there's just not.

• 1:42:55Joe Rogan?

  What games can you play with this setup?

• 1:42:58Speaker 04

  I've never... I don't know. I don't know anybody that's ever used it.

• 1:43:01Joe Rogan?

  Well, let's find out.

• 1:43:02Speaker 04

  He's gotta put something on the outside of his shoes.

• 1:43:04Joe Rogan?

  What are those?

• 1:43:05Speaker 04

  He's got something on the outside of his...

• 1:43:06Joe Rogan?

  Right. It's like a strapped-on thing, just like the other one was.

• 1:43:09Speaker 02

  It's so funny to see how far we've come. Remember the Nintendo trackpad? I mean, dude, we are just leaps and bounds past that.

• 1:43:15Joe Rogan?

  I think those things must have some sort of a sensor that lets you know where the foot is at any given time. That makes sense, right? So, the game would know... That would be the way the game would detect whether or not you're moving forward. Oh, this seems so awesome.

• 1:43:32Speaker 02

  Well, with all the stuff they do with the motion capture for the sports games is pretty incredible.

• 1:43:36Joe Rogan?

  But if you could play games like Quake, where you could actually be holding up a plastic rifle, and you're running down these hallways, shooting down monsters and shit...

• 1:43:48Speaker 02

  Well, think about playing if you were playing like a Madden, and you could like feel the impact of taking a hit or running and like...

• 1:43:54Speaker 04

  I did that was not... I was in the middle of this. Uh, you know those gel blaster things?

• 1:43:59Joe Rogan?

  What's that?

• 1:43:59Speaker 04

  It's like Tony gives away a Kill Tony? Yeah, it's like a little BB gun.

• 1:44:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:44:04Speaker 04

  It's in the

• 1:44:05Joe Rogan?

  Jail blaster?

• 1:44:06Speaker 04

  Jail blaster, it's little jail BBs, I guess.

• 1:44:08Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 1:44:08Speaker 04

  They've hooked it up and made it computerized and you have sensors on like VR or like laser tag. It's in the middle of laser tag.

• 1:44:14Speaker 02

  That's fun.

• 1:44:15Speaker 04

  They put up giant things for you to run around.

• 1:44:17Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 1:44:17Speaker 04

  And it's scoring the whole time.

• 1:44:18Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 1:44:19Speaker 04

  There's little voices talking to you and saying like, "Good job, you did it. Like, watch your health, get back, you gotta hide, reload."

• 1:44:23Speaker 02

  Birthday party idea, Joe.

• 1:44:25Joe Rogan?

  Have you ever done paintball?

• 1:44:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:44:26Joe Rogan?

  I did paintball when I lived in Boston, there was this place that had like, it was like a warehouse that had all black lights.

• 1:44:34Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 1:44:34Joe Rogan?

  And you had neon paintballs.

• 1:44:36Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:44:37Joe Rogan?

  And you had wars, like with other teams. It was so much fun, man.

• 1:44:40Speaker 02

  I've only done it outdoors, oh yeah.

• 1:44:42Joe Rogan?

  They fucking light you up, you're like, "Ooh." When they hit you, you're like, "Oh shit, that hurts. Actually hurts."

• 1:44:48Speaker 02

  I got one the lower back and, yeah, it's fun.

• 1:44:50Joe Rogan?

  It is fun. It's very exciting.

• 1:44:52Speaker 02

  They still do it, right?

• 1:44:53Joe Rogan?

  Oh, fuck yeah, they do it. People get super serious. They have like really sophisticated paintball guns now. Where they can shoot like multiple rounds, like semi-automatic paintball guns.

• 1:45:02Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:45:03Joe Rogan?

  Like a big giant bottle at the bottom filled with paintballs. Yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:45:07Speaker 02

  My buddy did one for a work, um, like team bonding thing.

• 1:45:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:45:11Speaker 02

  He's like, "It did not end well." Like, people were fucking just, it was almost like a work conference where people got fucked up and maybe cheated. It was just like a version of just people taken out.

• 1:45:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh no.

• 1:45:22Speaker 02

  Just people be, you know, just cheap shots and also people getting hit and going after people they didn't like and, yeah. But, you know.

• 1:45:28Joe Rogan?

  Oh no.

• 1:45:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, so.

• 1:45:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh, people getting their, oh no. People getting their aggressions out on their employees and shooting them. Fuck you, Joyce. Sally! Sally, you shot her in the face!

• 1:45:41Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:45:41Joe Rogan?

  She's on your team!

• 1:45:42Speaker 02

  Well, I made it better.

• 1:45:43Joe Rogan?

  That fucking bitch is never on my team. Pulling hair and fucking, fucking

• 1:45:48Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:45:49Joe Rogan?

  High heels in the air.

• 1:45:50Speaker 02

  That's so funny. Oh my god. She's never on my team.

• 1:45:56Joe Rogan?

  Fuck that bitch.

• 1:45:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:57Joe Rogan?

  You imagine having to work with someone you hate? Imagine like eight hours every day with someone you fucking hate. Doing something you hate with someone you hate. Some shitty fucking person you share a cubicle with.

• 1:46:09Speaker 02

  Nah, man, no.

• 1:46:10Joe Rogan?

  Right next to you.

• 1:46:11Speaker 02

  Threatening it.

• 1:46:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, right next to you, talking shit. That fucking bitch.

• 1:46:16Speaker 02

  And there's no way to spin it, yeah.

• 1:46:17Joe Rogan?

  Nah, you're stuck. And then you gotta like behave with the office culture and...

• 1:46:22Speaker 02

  I bagged groceries at Albertson's for a little bit and there were some people there that sucked, but like, you know, I didn't see them every, like...

• 1:46:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're moving around.

• 1:46:28Speaker 02

  Moving around, yeah.

• 1:46:29Joe Rogan?

  You're doing stuff.

• 1:46:29Speaker 02

  Oh, but if you're locked in a cube, oof.

• 1:46:31Joe Rogan?

  Ugh.

• 1:46:32Speaker 02

  What a bummer.

• 1:46:33Joe Rogan?

  That's a fucking horrible way to live your life.

• 1:46:35Speaker 02

  Fuck, thank God we were delusional.

• 1:46:36Joe Rogan?

  Thank God, right? We need more delusional people out there. That's why I'm a big supporter of Adderall. Like, more people should be...

• 1:46:43Speaker 02

  Alright, Quiggle sponsor.

• 1:46:44Joe Rogan?

  Just kidding.

• 1:46:45Speaker 02

  I did it once.

• 1:46:46Joe Rogan?

  Did you?

• 1:46:46Speaker 02

  I did it once and I went out to, I was doing, uh, it was a year after I graduated and my buddy was like, "Come out to the West Hollywood Halloween party with me." He's like, "It's supposed to be crazy, like 200,000 people." I don't know if you ever in LA saw that. It was like up and down Santa Monica Boulevard, just the ultimate chaos, right? In the, uh, the gay part of LA. And so, I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna do some content then." So I got my buddy with a camera to like interview people. Cause the costumes, Jeff Scott from the store used to go down there all the time, the costume, he would build elaborate costumes. People would spend, I mean, I talked to a guy who said he spent 80 grand on a full Batman suit.

• 1:47:24Speaker 02

  I'm not joking. So I, and, and, and there was a guy, there was a guy Adam and Eve, they were just buck naked with a couple of things and I'm just talking to everybody. I think it, I may have taken off my YouTube, but, uh, I was so tired and my buddy was like, "You want an Adderall?" And I've never done it. And Joe, I felt in, I have never done it since I was 2006. I felt unbelievable, dude.

• 1:47:42Joe Rogan?

  That's what scares me.

• 1:47:44Speaker 02

  I felt unbelievable and I was locked in, dude.

• 1:47:48Joe Rogan?

  You were selling me something right there. You were ready to sell some real estate.

• 1:47:51Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I've never snapped at anybody. It was a bit, I was a caring guy.

• 1:47:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's weird, right?

• 1:47:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. I was so focused, but I didn't feel like my heart was racing too fast. It was...

• 1:48:01Joe Rogan?

  Sounds incredible. That's the problem. It sounds incredible. It's like when Hunter Biden describes crack. Like, that sounds incredible.

• 1:48:07Speaker 02

  Well, as well, the only reason I didn't do it is cause it sounded too good.

• 1:48:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:11Speaker 02

  You know, under my administration, we had the first Black Mermaid.

• 1:48:15Joe Rogan?

  Who's that?

• 1:48:16Speaker 02

  Biden.

• 1:48:17Joe Rogan?

  Who's the black mermaid?

• 1:48:19Speaker 02

  The little mermaid that was black.

• 1:48:20Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right. I forgot.

• 1:48:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:22Joe Rogan?

  I missed that. I missed that outrage.

• 1:48:24Speaker 02

  It's okay. Yeah. Great name for a title of a special.

• 1:48:27Joe Rogan?

  Outrage?

• 1:48:28Speaker 02

  I missed that outrage.

• 1:48:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:48:30Speaker 02

  Maybe it's a little long.

• 1:48:31Joe Rogan?

  No, it's not bad. Missed that outrage.

• 1:48:33Speaker 02

  You jamming on another one?

• 1:48:36Joe Rogan?

  I am putting together material now, you know, that the weird process of subtraction, deletion, addition, expansion. It's like fucking around. I'm doing it at my own pace.

• 1:48:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:50Joe Rogan?

  So I'm not thinking about... I'm just thinking about having fun and doing things that I find interesting. Like, you know, it's like...

• 1:49:00Speaker 02

  You don't need to, I mean, what it...

• 1:49:03Joe Rogan?

  What's up?

• 1:49:04Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 1:49:04Joe Rogan?

  No, I was gonna say having a club and having to not go on the road is huge.

• 1:49:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:49:08Joe Rogan?

  And it gives you a chance to like, I think sometimes when, I don't know, a lot of people have this issue. Like, you do a special and then you're supposed to go on tour like four or five months later and you don't really have enough material yet. So you start putting together stuff that you think will work rather than stuff that you really like.

• 1:49:25Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:49:25Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 1:49:26Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:49:26Joe Rogan?

  So that's, that's where my head's at.

• 1:49:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:49:30Joe Rogan?

  Talk about stuff you really like. And sometimes it's hard, like the subjects that I'm really interested in right now, some of them are just not that funny. They're just too weird. It's hard to figure out a way to make some of these ideas into comedy.

• 1:49:44Speaker 02

  When you're giving yourself ample time to marinate and play around if you don't have like a, I'm gonna shoot something in... I mean, I don't know, having, I guess there's again...

• 1:49:53Joe Rogan?

  Goals are good too.

• 1:49:54Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:49:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, because they force you to work. They force you to like, you have like a sense of urgency. I think at a certain point in time, a goal is good too. But I also think there's a meandering period.

• 1:50:04Speaker 02

  Yep. Gotta explore.

• 1:50:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:07Joe Rogan?

  Otherwise you're gonna get stuck.

• 1:50:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm doing my first weekend of the mothership in February. I'm fired up.

• 1:50:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh shit.

• 1:50:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm fired up.

• 1:50:13Joe Rogan?

  Very exciting.

• 1:50:14Speaker 02

  I mean, just being there, uh, last night, Shane brought me up. Man, he murdered. It was so different. He's fucking so funny.

• 1:50:20Joe Rogan?

  Were you guys on the Late Show?

• 1:50:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, nice.

• 1:50:22Speaker 02

  And he, I went over to see Queens of the Stone Age. Um, they were doing this ACL Live.

• 1:50:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they're here tonight, too.

• 1:50:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:29Joe Rogan?

  Tony's going tonight.

• 1:50:30Speaker 02

  They were so good, dude.

• 1:50:31Joe Rogan?

  They're great.

• 1:50:32Speaker 02

  There, I met Josh, the first Doctor Phil live show we did, Bird did at the store, and he brought Josh, and he was just like, yeah, Bird told me he was doing the Doctor Phil show, and I was like, what the fuck is that? And we just became homies and so, uh, he came, uh, invited me over there and it was, I didn't see that ACL Live studio before. It's awesome. It's like a TV studio, but it's three levels, and it was like a really intimate, probably 500. Jamie, have you been there?

• 1:50:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's where that one Kill Tony was, uh...

• 1:50:59Joe Rogan?

  I thought you were saying studio. I was confused.

• 1:51:01Speaker 02

  Well, it's like a, I mean...

• 1:51:02Speaker 04

  Downtown ACL Live.

• 1:51:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I've done it.

• 1:51:04Speaker 02

  Okay, oh wow.

• 1:51:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I've done that.

• 1:51:06Speaker 02

  It was awesome, but they ripped it. Dude, they're, they're, I feel like them Foo Fighters, like, there's a handful of bands that you're just like, oh, you guys are rock stars, dude. And Josh sounds so fucking good vocally, and the band is so dialed in. I mean, there's, I think, six of them in the group, and, uh, it was awesome, man.

• 1:51:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's a nice guy. I had him on the podcast once, back in the day.

• 1:51:25Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:51:25Joe Rogan?

  Back when, in the LA days.

• 1:51:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:51:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, we got a Queens of the Stone Age poster up in the green room. Tony showed it to him. He was like, oh, it's fucking great. Yeah, Adam gave it to me. I was like, oh, this is such a cool photo and belongs to me.

• 1:51:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, my friend Josh gave me this poster. I don't even wanna have it, but... Norm liked them too, I don't know. Just gonna see him, man.

• 1:51:50Joe Rogan?

  That's pretty close.

• 1:51:51Speaker 02

  It's alright, is it? It's alright.

• 1:51:53Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty close.

• 1:51:54Speaker 02

  You wanna know when I first met Adam Eget? Love this guy. I don't think I've ever told you this story. The Tempe Improv, when he was booking the Tempe Improv.

• 1:52:00Joe Rogan?

  That's when I met him.

• 1:52:01Speaker 02

  Uh, he, 2010, so I'm three years into doing stand-up. He comes to the Hollywood Improv. He's trying to just scout, like, you know, young comics to come out and feature at the Improv. He, they gave him jurisdiction to start bringing people out to like, feature and just, you know, we'll fly you out, uh, put you up. And so I meet him at the Improv and he's like, "Man, I think you should come out and do, you know, Jim Florentine, and maybe you can feature for Jim Florentine." I end up breaking my ankle playing an outdoor basketball game with Sam Tripoli. Shattered my ankle and couldn't go. And then Matt Bronger was gonna be there in December. And he's like, "No, you can do the Bronger Weekend, but like, it's also the holiday show, so you gotta be clean." And I was like, "Fine, I'll just take out the F-bombs." I was not filthy aside from that.

• 1:52:42Speaker 02

  I did have one joke that was this like PSA joke about how like, you know, it's all these celebrities talking about things that you like can't really relate to. You need like a guy. It was always like, you know, um, you know, Johnny Depp being like, you know, "You need to read more to your kids, you know, blah, blah, blah." And then it would be, I was like, "Why isn't there a guy that's just like, 'What's up, my name's Cameron, life gets tough, you know? Uh, so make sure to, um, uh, tell your doctor to please refill on your Vicodin order. That way you can sell the pills for 10 bucks apiece to your deadbeat pill poppin's friends and finally get enough cash to buy that 20-inch physio flat screen that your slutty ex-girlfriend said was gonna take up too much space in the apartment. Well, good thing she showed you her bipolar side, 'cause now you're free from her bullshit antics. Fuck you, Beth, you dumb cunt." Da na na na. And I have like a PSA at the end of it.

• 1:53:26Speaker 02

  I did that at the show and I said cunt. And, uh, and I got fired from the weekend. And Adam comes up to me and he goes, "Oh, man, you put me in a tough position, man. I gotta fire you." And I was like, "What?" And he goes, "I told you to be clean." I go, "I know, I totally fucked up. I rolled the dice." They had me go up and do 10, and then 5, and then 10 again. And I was crushing and it was great, but they, the owner at the time, I think he's passed, was super like conservative Christian. And even though all the holiday parties were coming up to me and being like, "Dude, super funny, that was great." Adam's like, "Dude, we have to like..." The manager at the time, this guy named Eddie, was like, we gotta get this guy out of here. Because if there are complaints, then we like, we got rid of the problem, you know?

• 1:54:08Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:54:08Speaker 02

  And meanwhile, I'm looking up and I'm seeing Bronger kinda cursing and whatever. And the manager was like, well, he's the headliner. And I was like, oh, I think I'm being used as a scapegoat. But I get it, cuz I did tell Adam I'd be clean, and I fucked up. Adam, though, then comes over with me, he felt bad that I felt bad that I fucked up. And we go to the bar next door, we rip it up, we chat, and we stayed in touch. And like, he didn't like, hold it against me, and then, still a homie to this day.

• 1:54:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's a good dude. You know, that's a, you're not supposed to say cunt when you're on a clean show. Part of the thing you have to deal with.

• 1:54:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, fucked up, yeah. And I was up until that point, it was the last joke I did, and I just rolled the dice. And I started doing it, and I wasn't savvy enough to like, I was like, this is how it ends.

• 1:54:48Joe Rogan?

  Have you always been able to like, do impressions like this? Is there this, what is that?

• 1:54:52Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:54:53Joe Rogan?

  Cuz you do a lot of impressions.

• 1:54:55Speaker 02

  Pretty good here, yeah.

• 1:54:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Where'd that come from? When'd you start doing that?

• 1:54:59Speaker 02

  Impersonating, um, teachers and friends as a kid, I think. I was a real big kid, and there was a girl that every, the first impression I remember doing was this girl named Annie. And she was like the young hot girl in school, and everybody had a crush on her. And my, I had bigger tits than her, I was a real big kid. And she had a real big crush on my buddy. So I remember I prank called my buddy as her, with a couple other friends, like pretending to be her, calling him. And, and he believed it, and we had like a 20 minute conversation.

• 1:55:26Joe Rogan?

  No way.

• 1:55:27Speaker 02

  Fourth grade, yeah.

• 1:55:27Joe Rogan?

  Let me just hear what it sounds like.

• 1:55:29Speaker 02

  Well, I can act, I can remember, I can tap into how I would do it, cuz it was like, in the back of my throat. It was like, really like, hey, Evan, what's going on? Obviously, my voice is way deeper now, but that's what I would do.

• 1:55:39Joe Rogan?

  That would be a problem, I'd be like, who the fuck is this? And how big's your dick? This is crazy.

• 1:55:44Speaker 02

  Hell, send you a link. So then I would start doing.

• 1:55:48Joe Rogan?

  What size shoe do you wear, Evelyn?

• 1:55:52Speaker 02

  Evelyn, you're killing the comedy names for these bits. So, teachers, friends, and then I did, uh, I went to my friend's like water sports camp that was like all, it was a Christian water sports camp. But they were, I was buddies with them, so like, yeah, you can come and like, just skip the Jesus talk, I guess. Even though the guy tried to convert me, he was like, I know you're a Jew, but you're the only Jew here. I was like, yeah, this doesn't feel like a conversation we need to have about that.

• 1:56:18Joe Rogan?

  He was trying to convert you?

• 1:56:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:56:20Joe Rogan?

  What, how'd he do it?

• 1:56:21Speaker 02

  I can't totally remember, but it was something about the core of it-

• 1:56:23Joe Rogan?

  It involved sucking your dick?

• 1:56:24Speaker 02

  It did a little bit, yeah, yeah. And letting Jesus into my heart, he's like, and Jesus would love to see if you could fit around this.

• 1:56:32Speaker 02

  But I remember for the talent show, I did like, I did a bunch of impressions, I did like, what'd I do? I did a, I think a Quentin and a Cosby and a, that aged well. And then I did a master splinter from Ninja Turtles and like, Mike Tyson, I just, I don't know. I think I always have a pretty good ear, but like all this stuff-

• 1:56:48Joe Rogan?

  But I want to go back to how this guy tried to convert you.

• 1:56:50Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:56:53Speaker 02

  He had a bible, he wouldn't, he just sat, I got out of it pretty quick, cause I was like, I'm here for the jet skiing and the camaraderie. And he was like, I think you're really missing out on letting Christ into your heart. He's like, and he kept asking me like, is life going great for you? I'm like, I don't know, my mom's holding down four or five jobs, like, I can afford, you know, she didn't buy me Jordans, but I got the, I got the Patrick Ewing's, you know? We're doing okay. And, uh, he just kept trying to be like, you could be doing better than you are now and Jesus will fix that. Was like, kind of the moral story, yeah.

• 1:57:24Joe Rogan?

  Jesus is gonna fix your whole life.

• 1:57:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, whole life. He's like, you know why your dad left?

• 1:57:28Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, he did not.

• 1:57:30Speaker 02

  I swear to God, yeah, he brought up a little divorce, cause-

• 1:57:32Joe Rogan?

  Because you didn't have Jesus in your heart?

• 1:57:33Speaker 02

  I don't know if he was going there, but-

• 1:57:35Joe Rogan?

  Or your dad didn't have Jesus in his heart?

• 1:57:36Speaker 02

  That was probably insinuated.

• 1:57:37Joe Rogan?

  If you found Jesus, how does the dad get back into your life?

• 1:57:40Speaker 02

  Great question, great question.

• 1:57:41Joe Rogan?

  Doesn't.

• 1:57:42Speaker 02

  He doesn't.

• 1:57:42Joe Rogan?

  This is terrible logic.

• 1:57:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, he went hard in the paint. He was a young guy, too.

• 1:57:48Speaker 02

  Those are always sus. Yeah. Those young, hard in the paint guys are very sus. Yeah, he was trying to, I think he was almost like he's a young door-to-door salesman. He was like, if I can convert the Jew on this camp.

• 1:57:56Joe Rogan?

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• 1:58:41Joe Rogan?

  Don't have insurance or live outside of the United States? You can still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com to explore your payment options. That's better, H E L P, dot com. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker.

• 1:59:24Joe Rogan?

  If you get their Chime card, it gives you 5% cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high. It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com/rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for more details.

• 1:59:55Speaker 02

  Maybe I'll get my, I'll get Delta status. I'll be a golden medallion.

• 2:00:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, it's a, it's a weird one, right? But the, but the voices, I just, I don't know, an ear for it, I guess, you know? Like being, but I don't even.

• 2:00:10Speaker 02

  Having, doing the character stuff and having, being able to actually transform helps a lot. Being able to like, see myself.

• 2:00:16Joe Rogan?

  You need to bring that guy into your act. The guy who's trying to convert everybody.

• 2:00:19Speaker 02

  I really should, to be honest with you.

• 2:00:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, 100%. So Johnny Depp and the guy who's always trying to convert everyone to Jesus. And Jesus will fix everything that's wrong.

• 2:00:27Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 2:00:27Joe Rogan?

  Everything that's wrong.

• 2:00:29Speaker 02

  I guess, and I, I just, I didn't know enough about it to give him a, I don't know. I also just like, I don't know, man, I'm pretty reformed with Judaism anyway, like, you know.

• 2:00:38Joe Rogan?

  When I was in college, um, when I was at UMass, there was this girl that was in my class. This really hot Puerto Rican girl with glasses. She was so pretty. And she was really friendly. And, uh, she kept inviting me to these things, like, uh, she invited me to this weekend retreat that her and her friends were going to, and I was like, whoa, this is crazy. This really hot girl's inviting me to go to this thing.

• 2:00:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:00Joe Rogan?

  You know, I felt like I was kind of a loser, like, why is she inviting me? This is crazy. Um, but I couldn't go. I had an event, but I forget what I had. I think I had a fight. Uh, I, I forget. I was still competing back then, I think. Um, and so then, might not have been, might, I don't know what the fuck it was. Might have been a comedy show back then, actually. Now I think about it, it was probably early 90s.

• 2:01:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:20Joe Rogan?

  So, uh, when I was, uh, in class, we, we all found out that there was a plane crash. It was one of the Trump planes. Trump had an airline for a while. I don't know if you remember this.

• 2:01:32Speaker 02

  No, Trump Air?

• 2:01:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and one of the planes, the landing gear didn't come out right. And the plane like skid across the runway and the people lived and they were fine. So, I'd heard about it and they were all sitting, eating lunch. So I went into the lunchroom and I said, hey, did you guys hear about the plane crash? And they go, no. I go, yeah, this is crazy. I go, um, everybody lived. What happened was the plane skid to the runway and the landing gear didn't come off. So it's like just the bottom of the plane, but everybody lived. And then the late, the hot Puerto Rican girl goes, oh, praise God, praise God. Then they all started saying, praise God, praise God. And I was like, oh. You guys are trying to get me to go to a religious retreat?

• 2:02:15Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 2:02:16Joe Rogan?

  I'm like, okay.

• 2:02:17Speaker 02

  I thought you were going to the bang bus.

• 2:02:18Joe Rogan?

  So then I started asking questions. So I'm like, so.

• 2:02:22Joe Rogan?

  Are you guys like hardcore Christians? Like, what are you guys? And they're like, yes, you know, and we wanted to invite you to, you know, take Jesus into your life and to join us in this retreat. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

• 2:02:35Speaker 02

  But thank you for the offer.

• 2:02:37Joe Rogan?

  Now I know why you wanted me to go. I thought she liked me.

• 2:02:39Speaker 02

  Bummer.

• 2:02:40Joe Rogan?

  It was a bummer. Yeah, but made more sense. I was like, okay, that makes sense.

• 2:02:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:45Joe Rogan?

  They're trying to recruit. And that's how they do it. They get this hot girl to recruit people.

• 2:02:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it's smart of their part.

• 2:02:49Joe Rogan?

  Smart. But I wonder what it was, really, because it seemed a little cultish. It seemed really odd. It wasn't just like, you know, there's a lot of Christians that I know that are great people. And if you told them about a plane crash, they'd be like, oh, thank God, thank God. But it would be like a normal way to say thank God.

• 2:03:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:03:04Joe Rogan?

  You know what I mean? There was a weird praise God, praise God. They were all saying praise God. And it was odd. It wasn't as simple as, oh, thank God, everybody's okay.

• 2:03:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:03:14Joe Rogan?

  Oh, thank goodness.

• 2:03:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:03:15Joe Rogan?

  Thank God, you know? Oh, I pray for those people that they... Okay, that's normal.

• 2:03:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:03:21Joe Rogan?

  There's something about praise God. And all of them saying it, I was like, oh, no. God damn it.

• 2:03:27Speaker 02

  And drink this, Joseph.

• 2:03:28Joe Rogan?

  It was like, like I was in a zombie movie where everybody's turning. I was like, oh.

• 2:03:33Speaker 02

  A woman came over to me after my show last weekend and goes, I heard you talk about being nervous flying on stage. And I ran to my car and I know you're a Jew, but I brought you a Bible.

• 2:03:41Joe Rogan?

  Bruh.

• 2:03:42Speaker 02

  I go, um, I think I'm all right. And then she goes, well, wouldn't you like to know like where you're going when you die? If the plane goes down? I go, to be honest, no. I'm rocking out to my favorite Phil Collins song, hoping that the plane reroutes itself and we actually live. If the plane is shaking in a certain way, I don't just go, all right, well, at least I'm going. I'm like, fuck, no, I hope we get out of this. But she was like, oh, well, you wouldn't just... And then she kept pushing it and she was like, I really think Jesus. And she kept going off. And then I go, with all due respect, like, I thought you just came in line to take a picture and say hello. You know, I hope you had a good time at the show. She goes, I'm gonna go try that guy. And it's my opener. I go, he's more Jewy than I am, so best of luck.

• 2:04:26Speaker 02

  And she went over to him and I just see him going like, you know, be like, I tried to be nice and be like, you know, it's. And I was very, I tried to be very, you know, sweet and be like, thanks, but no thanks, but just so pushy, man.

• 2:04:38Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of people that it gives them like a personal validation.

• 2:04:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, she didn't like that.

• 2:04:43Joe Rogan?

  You'll follow what they're doing. Like, and they also want to like, guide you. They wanted to help you.

• 2:04:50Speaker 02

  She thought I was not.

• 2:04:51Joe Rogan?

  Control you.

• 2:04:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:04:53Joe Rogan?

  Pretty weird.

• 2:04:53Speaker 02

  I got no problem if you're like, I want to shoot my shot and see if you're into this, but once I was like, no thanks. But then she, there was a shift in her eyes of like, oof, you're this.

• 2:05:01Joe Rogan?

  Well, she really believes it. She's probably schizophrenic.

• 2:05:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:05:03Joe Rogan?

  Probably got a mild touch, just a touch of the skits.

• 2:05:07Speaker 02

  Touch of the skits?

• 2:05:08Joe Rogan?

  There's a touch of the skits. There are a lot of folks out there with a touch.

• 2:05:10Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:05:11Joe Rogan?

  I don't think schizophrenics all full blown.

• 2:05:14Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:05:14Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of people that are just like oddly out of touch.

• 2:05:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:05:17Joe Rogan?

  We just gotta go, I don't think you and I are experiencing the same game.

• 2:05:21Speaker 02

  I'm trying to cross the sidewalk, sidewalk, you're trying to eat it.

• 2:05:25Joe Rogan?

  You're on some weird level where you're not seeing things the way everybody else does.

• 2:05:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:05:29Joe Rogan?

  Very weird. But some people are like that and they ruin the idea of religion for a lot of folks. Cause it's like, you associate religion with like kooks, you know?

• 2:05:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, yeah. I don't know, to, to need, being a good person is a pretty easy formula too. That's, I have one friend that's just so, God bless him, he's just so hardcore conservative Christian and I'm like, do you need all that to justify being a good person? Like, isn't it like, there's some golden rules you can follow of treating people the way you want to be treated? What, it's, he's just, it's just too much, in my opinion, you know, but, yeah.

• 2:06:05Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think it's a good, it's like a good scaffolding for, for morals and ethics.

• 2:06:12Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:06:12Joe Rogan?

  The, the best thing about religion.

• 2:06:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:06:14Joe Rogan?

  If you follow people that are like devoutly religion, most religions, there's a few religions that preach some sort of, some pretty radical violence, but for the most part. What they're trying to get you to do is be a better person. They're trying to get you to follow morals and ethics and don't lie and, you know, love your neighbor and be a kind person. Totally. But you can do that without it, can't you? You can, but it helps. Yeah. It really does. And there's something about like going to a church where everybody has the same thought. You're all there for the same reason. Yeah. You're all there to give your, your mind, like give your, your consciousness, like think about the, the concept of this higher power.

• 2:06:53Joe Rogan?

  And think about what these lessons that are in the Bible really refer to and what they really mean and what actually really probably happened. And it's interesting because you meet like the nicest people that do that. They, so it does work. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like you could get hung up in the weeds about whether or not you believe, you know, Adam and Eve were the first real people. Like eh, that seems a little sus. You know, the whole Noah's Ark, like what? That seems a little sus. But I think outside of that, what you're really dealing with is a bunch of stories where people are trying to accurately depict real events. But doing it after hundreds of years of just telling stories by the campfires and,

• 2:07:37Joe Rogan?

  and a lot of it's distorted by translations, a lot of it's distorted over time, but I think they were trying to say something, something very profound. And I don't know what really happened, but I think what they're trying to do is give you some sort of a history of human beings on earth. It's just a very weird one. Because if you get into the Old Testament, like the Old Testament has some wild shit in it, man. You get into like Ezekiel story of seeing the wheel within a wheel in the sky and like heads of animals and all this, like what the fuck did you see? Yeah, I gotta finish Narcos first. Bah. But.

• 2:08:17Joe Rogan?

  People that follow Christianity, that actually do follow it and are like real Christians are some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. So my point about that is like you could get hung up on the weeds and whether or not you think it's a stupid thing to do. But man, it works. It makes for nicer people.

• 2:08:32Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:08:33Joe Rogan?

  And so that's why I support it. I support that idea of any religion that makes unite, like even Mormons. It's kind of ridiculous. There's, there's a guy, Joseph Smith, who wrote it. He was 14.

• 2:08:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:08:45Joe Rogan?

  He seems to be a little bit of a con man.

• 2:08:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:08:47Joe Rogan?

  You know, said he found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus. And when they said, well, where is it? They go, oh, the angels came and took it away because they didn't think you believed. Only he could read it because he had a magic rock. Like, okay. That's crazy.

• 2:09:00Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:09:00Joe Rogan?

  You get your own planet when you die. What?

• 2:09:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:03Joe Rogan?

  Okay, but Mormons are the nicest fucking people on earth.

• 2:09:06Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 2:09:06Joe Rogan?

  They're the nicest fucking friendliest, sweetest people.

• 2:09:10Speaker 02

  And now they have their own show, The Secret Wives of Mormon.

• 2:09:13Joe Rogan?

  Do they? I haven't watched it.

• 2:09:14Speaker 02

  It's like incredibly popular.

• 2:09:15Joe Rogan?

  Is it?

• 2:09:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:16Joe Rogan?

  Is it any good?

• 2:09:18Speaker 02

  I tried to watch one episode. I think my wife's into it. It's a, it's definitely a.

• 2:09:22Joe Rogan?

  You think she's into it?

• 2:09:22Speaker 02

  It's a real, it's a Real Housewives type show.

• 2:09:25Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:09:25Speaker 02

  But they're getting, the girl from it apparently is now going to be the new bachelorette. So that's how popular it got.

• 2:09:30Joe Rogan?

  I saw an ad the other day for the Golden Bachelor. They're, they're letting old people fuck?

• 2:09:35Speaker 02

  Bro, it's, yeah.

• 2:09:37Joe Rogan?

  Do the old people get after it?

• 2:09:38Speaker 02

  It's, bro, it's the guy was like 77, the woman was like 74, but she looks 73.

• 2:09:44Joe Rogan?

  Wow. And they get after it?

• 2:09:45Speaker 02

  It's like, yeah, it's like.

• 2:09:46Joe Rogan?

  Do they make out?

• 2:09:47Speaker 02

  Oh, bro, they, they, they're. I mean, it's really, it's like they've got one last shot at love.

• 2:09:52Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, is that really what they're saying?

• 2:09:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:55Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 2:09:56Speaker 02

  We'll see if, when they wake up from their nap, if this match is really a true match.

• 2:09:59Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 2:10:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they've all lost somebody. I mean, I watched the first season. It was gripping.

• 2:10:07Joe Rogan?

  Um, there's something about being lonely and old, it's sad.

• 2:10:10Speaker 02

  Well, they've all, all their, you know, The Bachelor, The Bachelor and Bachelorette are just like, you know, "My name's Kimberly and, um, you know, I'm 29 and like, I'm just tired of fuckboys." And Golden Bachelor, she's like, "My name's Teresa, I'm 75, my husband died four years ago, "and I don't know if I'll ever see another penis, but I hope I do." I'm paraphrasing, but she's jumping back in. And the guy was like, dude, Prince Charming, he looked like Vince McMahon, fuck Pat Sajak.

• 2:10:39Joe Rogan?

  What was the one where they had?

• 2:10:40Speaker 02

  He turned out to be a creep though, by the way. He told, let me say this real quick, there, this report just came out, one of the girls goes, who got picked, the Golden Bachelor picked her, and she goes, "Yeah, they split shortly after, "'cause he was just fucking a lot of people, this guy was 75, he was just cheating on her." She goes, "Yeah, he took me on a walk and said, 'If I ever kill you, this is where I'll chop you up and leave your body.'" That report came out like three or four days ago.

• 2:11:03Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 2:11:04Speaker 02

  That's what the Golden Bachelor said.

• 2:11:06Joe Rogan?

  Did they vet this fella?

• 2:11:08Speaker 02

  There he is.

• 2:11:08Joe Rogan?

  That guy said that?

• 2:11:09Speaker 02

  Jerry, I think. And Teresa.

• 2:11:11Joe Rogan?

  Jesus. He looks like a guy.

• 2:11:15Speaker 02

  Who would chop you up? Why say that, dude?

• 2:11:17Joe Rogan?

  Looks like a guy that would say it, at least.

• 2:11:18Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:11:19Joe Rogan?

  What was that show where they had, um, these young guys, like these older ladies, like MILFs?

• 2:11:26Speaker 02

  MILF Island.

• 2:11:27Joe Rogan?

  Yes, and then it turns out to be the sons of the other ladies on the show, and they start hooking up?

• 2:11:33Speaker 02

  Stop, dude.

• 2:11:33Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 2:11:34Speaker 02

  Stop.

• 2:11:35Joe Rogan?

  Yes. I couldn't even bring myself to watch it.

• 2:11:39Speaker 02

  Why didn't you host that, dude?

• 2:11:40Joe Rogan?

  I don't want to.

• 2:11:41Speaker 02

  You should have hosted that, dude.

• 2:11:42Joe Rogan?

  I've already hosted People Eating Animal Dicks on TV, I think it's a special place in hell for me.

• 2:11:47Speaker 02

  Brilliantly, by the way.

• 2:11:48Joe Rogan?

  Thank you.

• 2:11:48Speaker 02

  That was such a good show, man.

• 2:11:50Speaker 04

  MILF Manor.

• 2:11:51Speaker 02

  MILF Manor.

• 2:11:52Joe Rogan?

  So that's the story, right? Like they brought in the sons of the other ladies?

• 2:11:57Speaker 04

  They put out a trailer and they were very vague about what the fuck was happening.

• 2:12:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's what it is. It's like these hot MILFs, and then, you know, they have like 20-year-old sons, and then the 20-year-old sons are now just banging your mom's friend. Why isn't there just Anal Island at this point? I mean, we're so close. It's like, there's some of these- That's a lot. Even Love- that's a lot. Yeah, you're right. There's probably a porn you can get. I bet if you just Google Anal Island. Use your VPN, because we're in Texas. Okay. You have to say you're in Maryland, otherwise you can't get online. Oh, loophole. Yeah, there's a thing where- Oh, yeah, you can't- In Texas, you have to show government ID.

• 2:12:31Speaker 04

  In season two of MILF Manor, they've added the-

• 2:12:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 2:12:35Speaker 04

  They brought in the fathers to-

• 2:12:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 2:12:37Speaker 04

  Get in the mix, so it's the sons versus the fathers.

• 2:12:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, god, it's a fucking orgy, disgusting, multi-generational orgy. Who goes on that? Where are they now? Where are the star-

• 2:12:46Speaker 04

  I mean, they're only just two seasons. It's pretty new.

• 2:12:49Joe Rogan?

  How's it doing? Great question. Here's the thing, it's like, who the fuck is watching TV anymore?

• 2:12:54Speaker 04

  The moms are really not much older than me, which is tough.

• 2:12:57Joe Rogan?

  Who would have ever thought that? Unreal. How old are the moms?

• 2:13:01Speaker 04

  Almost all in their 40s. There's a couple in their 40s.

• 2:13:03Joe Rogan?

  Are they hot? Let me see some photos. See what we got. See what we're dealing with. Can't, yeah. Because, you know, you gotta fit- There's a lot to choose from out there. A lot of MILFs want to get on TV. MILFs want to be on MILF Manor. If you had a MILF show, you'd probably find quite a few candidates- I think so. -out there in the world. I think so. Yeah. Let's see, what do we got here, Jamie? See some of the- it's on HBO. Is there a host for the show? Wait, this is on HBO? The pla- the fucking place that brought you The Sopranos- Now brings you MILF Manor 2? Damn, dude. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, we're heading in the wrong direction. Is it really on HBO? Hot single moms diving into a unique dining experience. Come on, is it really an HBO show?

• 2:13:38Speaker 04

  It's a TLC show, so it's-

• 2:13:39Joe Rogan?

  Okay, thank god. Oh, I see. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Why do I feel better about that?

• 2:13:45Joe Rogan?

  I was like, fucking- Because TLC is- HBO goes from Game of Thrones to this. Ooh, a lot of pretty ladies. Okay. They look good. Yeah? Yeah. If there's some 20-year-old dudes- Those are MILFs, yeah, sure. Especially the black lady. Oof. Very, very hot. Jeez. Okay.

• 2:14:00Speaker 04

  There's the father and son.

• 2:14:02Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy. Oh, my god. Yeah, we're banging it out, pops. Wait, so they're- Oh, so the guys are taking their shirts off and shit? Okay. Ah, that's good, sad. Yikes. Mommy Manor 2? This, like, this weird culture of everybody wanting attention. So strange. Reality TV, yeah. I mean, it's- So odd.

• 2:14:19Speaker 02

  Fifteen minutes of fame and then you can take that fifteen minutes and turn it into a podcast?

• 2:14:23Joe Rogan?

  Or a? Is that the most popular type of television these days is reality TV? Is that the most? Like, what is popular these days?

• 2:14:31Speaker 02

  Joe, I think so. I think that and like true crime docs and then I'd say, um.

• 2:14:36Speaker 04

  But like regular TV, like CBS.

• 2:14:39Speaker 02

  You know, I just watch is the Murdoch, um. You know, that that's a whole story, the Murdoch guy, Alex Murdoch, killed his wife and son and, um. No, the lawyer?

• 2:14:48Joe Rogan?

  Which one was that one?

• 2:14:49Speaker 02

  Have you heard of this, James? This happened probably, I think in twenty eleven. Um, high, uh, powerful lawyer in the, I think the Midwest. And his son, uh, was driving drunk in a boat accident and with all his friends. And, uh, and one of the girls flew off the boat and died. And so the dad shows up at the hospital. He's just super powerful dude and was already like stealing money from his like business. But he like went into like the thing and tried to like curb the story to the other kids being like, who was driving the boat, that type of shit. And then the story got real, just, uh, slippery and whatever. And everyone was like, oh, and then the kid got off because of the dad. And the families tried to sue and it just didn't really happen because the dad was so powerful.

• 2:15:33Speaker 02

  And then come to find out that, uh, the dad is stealing money from the business. And then the mom and him are having a bad relationship. And the kid is getting bullied and teased and then he ends up murdering his, uh, he ends up murdering his wife and youngest son because he's got a pill problem. He's gonna go to jail for, um, uh, for, um, uh, you know, tax evasion and money laundering and stealing from his business and, and, uh, anyway, he's now serving life in prison.

• 2:16:03Joe Rogan?

  Holy shit.

• 2:16:04Speaker 02

  Joe, you, I, I don't know what you watch, but it's, um, dude, Patricia Arquette and Jason Clarke are unfucking real, dude. I just finished it, uh, today.

• 2:16:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh, so it's a recreation documentary?

• 2:16:14Speaker 02

  Well, the doc is also in.

• 2:16:15Speaker 04

  It just happened too.

• 2:16:16Speaker 02

  It just happened.

• 2:16:17Speaker 04

  There's still, I think some events are still being unfolded.

• 2:16:19Speaker 02

  The doc is also incredible.

• 2:16:20Joe Rogan?

  But what's the official trailer that you just showed me? That's a different thing.

• 2:16:23Speaker 04

  Oh, so this was the Netflix show from like two years ago.

• 2:16:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, okay, but that's the documentary.

• 2:16:27Speaker 02

  Yes, so the show just. Came out.

• 2:16:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I see.

• 2:16:30Speaker 02

  Basically, dramatization, but you know, but they have all the facts and Joe, it's it's wild how they uh end up finding out that it's him. He did not cover his bases at all. I mean, he, but he tried to, he tried to like throw the phones away and then he drove to his mom's as like an alibi.

• 2:16:44Joe Rogan?

  Look how creepy his hands look in that photo. What's going on with that? Why is his hands covered in blood? Oh, man.

• 2:16:50Speaker 02

  Probably just to allude to the murder, but.

• 2:16:52Joe Rogan?

  I guess.

• 2:16:52Speaker 02

  So like tha- that to me like, but again, it's murder and it's drama and it's a limited series. I think it was just eight episodes. People are into that stuff.

• 2:17:00Joe Rogan?

  Bro.

• 2:17:01Speaker 02

  But the reality.

• 2:17:01Joe Rogan?

  You kill your wife and your son?

• 2:17:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, crazy. Just to, just to uh create a distraction basically and be like, and and victimize himself.

• 2:17:12Joe Rogan?

  And who did he say killed his wife and his son?

• 2:17:14Speaker 02

  He said, say it was people that were probably coming after for the whole boat accident. Because the town had kinda turned on the family being like, the kid got away with it because he's a powerful attorney and they whatever. And so he tried to go and he cried and they came and he was like, they probably the guys that were upset about the boat thing. We've been getting all these hate hateful people coming after us and yeah.

• 2:17:32Joe Rogan?

  How long did he get away with it?

• 2:17:34Speaker 02

  He even cried on the stand. He's still to this day.

• 2:17:36Joe Rogan?

  Snot coming out of his nose.

• 2:17:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's still to this day maintains his innocence. But they put everything together, dude. And on the phone, there's a phone that his son had before you hear, the dad says he wasn't down at the kennels when they were saying uh bye to the dogs before the mom took off and was like, I'm gonna divorce you. I'm gonna live at our beach house. So he also was sad about that. And there's, the son had his phone out videotaping the dog and you hear Alex in the background talking. And he said he wasn't there. So that was a big red flag where it was like, dude, you're on the fucking video.

• 2:18:08Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 2:18:08Joe Rogan?

  God.

• 2:18:09Speaker 02

  But yeah.

• 2:18:09Joe Rogan?

  Any kinda guy that's like willing to murder his son and his wife is not thinking straight.

• 2:18:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:18:15Joe Rogan?

  He said he was on pills? What kinda pills is he on?

• 2:18:19Joe Rogan?

  Oxy's or something?

• 2:18:19Speaker 02

  I think so, yeah.

• 2:18:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:18:21Speaker 02

  Something that was just numbing everything, you know?

• 2:18:23Joe Rogan?

  Just in some heroin haze.

• 2:18:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:18:25Joe Rogan?

  With a gun.

• 2:18:25Speaker 02

  Yep. And then he's in jail and his older son comes to visit him and he's like, Dad, did you do this? What's going on? He's like, dude, look at me. Of course not. Why would I, why would I kill your mother? He's like, it was somebody out there. And he goes, he's like, I'm sorry I lied about being there. I was there, but I was there and then I left and then I went to go visit your grandma. And then that's when it happened. I mean, the timeline just doesn't, I mean, it doesn't add. So his son's just like.

• 2:18:46Joe Rogan?

  Like realizing my dad killed my mom.

• 2:18:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. And being like, and you're lying to me. You won't even, even in jail, you're just like.

• 2:18:52Joe Rogan?

  You're in jail forever.

• 2:18:53Speaker 02

  And then he even goes, he goes, thank God I left. Otherwise they could have, you know, gotten me too. Wild dude.

• 2:19:02Speaker 02

  Imagine just committing that hard to like a.

• 2:19:05Joe Rogan?

  Just monsters are real.

• 2:19:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:19:07Joe Rogan?

  There are some people that are just real monsters, you know? Like, what do they say? What percentage of people are sociopaths, like complete sociopaths? Where they have no empathy for other people?

• 2:19:16Speaker 02

  We've clocked that? There's a percentage?

• 2:19:17Joe Rogan?

  I think they think there's like a certain measurable percentage of people that walk amongst us that are complete sociopaths.

• 2:19:23Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 2:19:24Joe Rogan?

  And even if they don't do anything horrible, they really don't care about other people. Like they don't have any feelings about other people.

• 2:19:31Speaker 02

  Both of those are attached to being a sociopath, yeah?

• 2:19:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. And I think probably there's a connection to narcissism in there too, but okay, one to 4%. Uh, percentage of people who are sociopaths, often associated with antisocial personality disorder, is generally estimated to be around 1 to 4% of the general population. More specifically, some studies suggest about 1 to 2% with around 3% of males and 1% of females exhibiting sociopathic tendencies. One notable estimate is that approximately 3 to 5 Americans could be sociopaths or have ASPD with some sources citing 1 in 25 people, 4% having, as having sociopathic traits. Interesting.

• 2:20:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. We gotta think sociopaths are disproportionately represented in prison populations. The thing about sociopaths, though, I don't know if that's a nature or nurture thing. You know, to have like no empathy, is that something that happened because of something that happened to you as a baby?

• 2:20:28Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 2:20:29Joe Rogan?

  Could be. Like you, you just, no one cared about you, you didn't care about anybody, like you never developed an ability to care? Or is it, because I know some people that were terribly treated when they were young, but they're great people.

• 2:20:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:20:41Joe Rogan?

  They're kind and sweet because of the fact they were treated so poorly, they're really kind and sweet to other people.

• 2:20:46Speaker 02

  You can develop that approach to life.

• 2:20:49Joe Rogan?

  What's the difference, though, between, is it, that's the question, is it like, is something wrong? It's like, could you be a good person and still be a sociopath? Like where, like you really don't care about other people, but you just do the right thing, because it seems like the right thing to do. But like.

• 2:21:01Speaker 02

  Like just because you weren't hugged maybe a ton as a kid, or maybe you only had.

• 2:21:04Joe Rogan?

  I'm getting at that, I don't know, maybe it's not, maybe it's a genetic thing, maybe it's just a weird, like you didn't get all the ingredients, you know?

• 2:21:11Speaker 02

  Could be.

• 2:21:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:12Speaker 02

  What a bummer, because I feel like that's a pretty common human thread to have empathy.

• 2:21:16Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:21:17Speaker 02

  And compassion, like that's.

• 2:21:18Joe Rogan?

  What's what keeps us together.

• 2:21:19Speaker 02

  Core traits, yeah.

• 2:21:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's like people that don't want that, like you don't want friends, like that, what? You don't care about people?

• 2:21:28Speaker 02

  You kinda need empathy and compassion to interact with anybody, don't you? Like in any situation to.

• 2:21:33Joe Rogan?

  Well, you could fake it, right? You could fake empathy and compassion if you're a real sociopath that's got a lot of time, like tricking people, like your whole life you've been tricking people, maybe you're a real good politician?

• 2:21:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:21:45Joe Rogan?

  You know, know anybody like that? And so then, yeah, and then, so you get to this point where that's like, you're just really good at pretending that you care about everything. And you really care about nothing.

• 2:21:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:21:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:57Speaker 02

  What's your best quality?

• 2:21:58Joe Rogan?

  Mine?

• 2:21:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:21:59Joe Rogan?

  I have no idea.

• 2:21:59Speaker 02

  What do you, like, what do you, if you had to like.

• 2:22:01Joe Rogan?

  What am I, are we on a date? This is crazy.

• 2:22:05Speaker 02

  You're a likable guy, like what do you like, what's your, like, I don't know, what do you, what do you leave with? Your, your outlook at life, I'd say that, right? You're a glass half full guy.

• 2:22:13Joe Rogan?

  I have a good outlook, yeah, but I've also been very lucky, you know, so there's a lot of that, like, you have to really take it into consideration.

• 2:22:19Speaker 02

  You created your own good luck, though.

• 2:22:20Joe Rogan?

  Some of it, sure, but some of it is just, you know, you don't get hit in the head by a meteor, you know, you don't die in a car accident. Like, there's some of it is just flat out luck, is part of life that appears to be very random, you know? And that you can't control, so anybody that's like, successful at all, there is a percentage, whatever the percentage is, 30, whatever it is, there's luck, there's luck involved.

• 2:22:44Speaker 02

  But you worked, everything you did as far as like having this

• 2:22:47Joe Rogan?

  For sure.

• 2:22:47Speaker 02

  Go-getter attitude and put yourself in positions

• 2:22:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:22:50Speaker 02

  And then made good on those opportunities, right?

• 2:22:51Joe Rogan?

  100%, but it's also luck.

• 2:22:53Speaker 02

  1,000.

• 2:22:54Joe Rogan?

  You have to have that, too, you have to have a bunch of like, things that happen, you know, in, in the right order.

• 2:23:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:23:02Joe Rogan?

  For things to work out well.

• 2:23:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:23:03Joe Rogan?

  Because we all know like, really talented people that for whatever reason, never got it together, you know?

• 2:23:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:23:08Joe Rogan?

  Like, especially in comedy.

• 2:23:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:23:09Joe Rogan?

  Because there's so many people that we know that were like, really talented, like, they had something special, and they just never followed through, or they just died, or they couldn't deal with the rejection, they couldn't deal with the bombing on stage, they couldn't deal with the hours that you have to put in, and they fell, fell off.

• 2:23:24Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 2:23:25Joe Rogan?

  There was a lot of guys from like, the early days, where I was like, man, this guy's gonna be fucking huge.

• 2:23:29Speaker 02

  You think there's more people that, like, if you started then versus now, would drop off? Because, again, like we were talking about with clips and just having more ways to be discovered or have more opportunities to

• 2:23:41Joe Rogan?

  They'd have more of a chance today, yeah.

• 2:23:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:23:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you had a very few chances back in the day, the chances back in the day were real simple, you had to either get on Evening at the Improv, or the MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour, or Letterman, Letterman was like the golden goose. Uh, or the Tonight Show when Johnny Carson was running it, if you got on the Tonight Show when Johnny Carson was running it, like, you could literally legitimately have like, a full career. And that, a career back then was a club comic, a career was a touring club comic.

• 2:24:08Speaker 02

  So you just named four opportunities?

• 2:24:10Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 2:24:10Speaker 02

  That's fucking nuts.

• 2:24:12Joe Rogan?

  They were really hard to get on, too, well, the, the Letterman one. Was the the ones that were easier to get on was like they they filmed a lot of those MTV half hour comedy hour. So a lot of people got on those and you really only needed like seven minutes.

• 2:24:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:24:25Joe Rogan?

  So there was a lot of those um and that helped. And then so you could say as seen on MTV's half hour comedy hour and someone comes to you at the comedy hut.

• 2:24:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:24:33Joe Rogan?

  And then you're you're out there, you know, working, but there wasn't a lot of things that could turn you into like an act that could draw on the road anywhere. You were basically like, oh, this guy was on Comedy Central, so he must be funny. Let's take a chance and go see him.

• 2:24:49Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:24:49Joe Rogan?

  And then if you did it a bunch of times, you'd develop like a following in certain cities where people would come back to see you again because they had a good time last time. But now, you know, all you have to do is just have a clip and that clip goes viral. And then you're selling out theaters like right away.

• 2:25:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:25:08Joe Rogan?

  So it's definitely more opportunity for someone to pop. And there was a lot of guys back then that had like great bits and they just fucking never got the show. They never got this. They developed the alcohol problem, whatever it was.

• 2:25:23Speaker 02

  Wanted more uh consistent stability and maybe just wanted like income that was.

• 2:25:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's a lot of that too, or they get married and have a child.

• 2:25:31Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:25:31Joe Rogan?

  And then the wife is like, hey, you need to get a regular fucking job. This dream is crazy. It's killing us. You gotta be home, you know, you can't go out on the weekends, every weekend and make $200. It's crazy, you know?

• 2:25:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, my brother in law was rapping and slinging weed and then they got. Yeah, my white, my brother in law is a white rapper named Dorte, shout out.

• 2:25:53Speaker 02

  And he uh, my sister, when they got married was like, yeah, you can't be doing like, she didn't shut down the performing, but she was like the the drug stuff's gotta.

• 2:26:01Joe Rogan?

  Yes, not good.

• 2:26:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, we got kids like.

• 2:26:04Joe Rogan?

  You shouldn't be a drug dealer.

• 2:26:05Speaker 02

  People shouldn't be coming to the house.

• 2:26:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and a daddy. Good advice.

• 2:26:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:26:09Joe Rogan?

  Sound advice from a woman.

• 2:26:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, she knows she cleaned him up.

• 2:26:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's the the dream of trying to make it in the rap world is probably just as hard, if not harder than the dream of trying to make it in comedy, right?

• 2:26:20Speaker 02

  He had a nice little run. He I let him close out our Seattle Dr. Phil live show.

• 2:26:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, really?

• 2:26:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, we did like the Neptune up there. It was like eleven hundred seats. My nieces who'd never.

• 2:26:30Joe Rogan?

  And he rapped? How'd it go?

• 2:26:31Speaker 02

  Awesome. He murdered.

• 2:26:32Joe Rogan?

  Is he killer?

• 2:26:33Speaker 02

  Pull him up, Dorte, pull him up.

• 2:26:35Joe Rogan?

  Let me hear it.

• 2:26:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:26:36Joe Rogan?

  Um, tell everybody where you're gonna be.

• 2:26:38Speaker 02

  You're the man.

• 2:26:38Joe Rogan?

  Tell everybody how they can find you online.

• 2:26:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, on tour right now, clubs the rest of the year, last Dr. Phil live at the Wiltern, December sixteenth. I'm doing the Moore Theater in Seattle, first theater show home in Seattle, December nineteenth, and then the theater tour, the Who Is Me Theater Tour starts in January, goes through April, adamraycomedy.com, specials, like and subscribe on YouTube where you are right now, Adam Ray Comedy, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok.

• 2:27:04Joe Rogan?

  Are you around tonight? You want to do a set?

• 2:27:06Speaker 02

  I'm leaving tonight.

• 2:27:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you're flying back?

• 2:27:07Speaker 02

  I fucking love you, dude. I fucking love you. I had a feeling you were gonna ask.

• 2:27:10Joe Rogan?

  Sorry.

• 2:27:11Speaker 02

  I have to leave right after this.

• 2:27:12Joe Rogan?

  Did you leave here last night?

• 2:27:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. I did, uh, yeah. I didn't know if I should bug you or just Adam, like what's?

• 2:27:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, just text me.

• 2:27:19Speaker 02

  Really? All right.

• 2:27:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anytime you're in town, you can do a set.

• 2:27:22Speaker 02

  I love you.

• 2:27:22Joe Rogan?

  I love you too.

• 2:27:23Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me.

• 2:27:24Joe Rogan?

  It was a lot of fun.

• 2:27:24Speaker 02

  Always, always.

• 2:27:25Joe Rogan?

  And if anybody's ever seen Adam on Kill Tony, they literally are some of the funniest fucking episodes of all time.

• 2:27:30Speaker 02

  Thanks, brother.

• 2:27:31Joe Rogan?

  The Dr. Phil one's fantastic. The Biden one's fantastic. You're really good at it, man.

• 2:27:35Speaker 02

  I appreciate it, man. Yeah, you called me after the Tony app, which was really cool, man.

• 2:27:39Joe Rogan?

  This is insane.

• 2:27:40Speaker 02

  I thought it was a butt dial.

• 2:27:41Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no.

• 2:27:42Speaker 02

  I picked it up and I was like, hello?

• 2:27:43Joe Rogan?

  That is so good. It was so good. I was dying. I was like, oh, no. I was watching it going, oh, no, because it was like so dead on.

• 2:27:52Speaker 02

  Did you know what was happening or did you give your head to?

• 2:27:53Joe Rogan?

  No, I had no idea. I had no idea. Yes. I had no idea.

• 2:27:58Speaker 02

  Because you don't go to all of them, right?

• 2:27:59Joe Rogan?

  No, I had no idea that you were gonna be Tony.

• 2:28:02Speaker 02

  Shut the fuck up. You just ran me there for that. I thought you told you and that's why you came.

• 2:28:05Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no. I come to a few, you know? I've come to a bunch, yeah, but I know that one was awesome. It was awesome.

• 2:28:11Speaker 02

  You're the man, Joe.

• 2:28:12Joe Rogan?

  Appreciate you, brother. All right. Bye, everybody.

• 2:28:13Speaker 02

  See you, guys.