The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Adrienne Iapalucci - Episode 81

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Adrienne Iapalucci - Episode 81 Watch Adrienne's New Special, 'Dark Queen': https://www.netflix.com/title/81900915 Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #darkqueen #adrienneIapalucci Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  I don't know what I'm doing.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Need a break. Forget it, I quit. Escape to Pluto TV. This is objectively fantastic. Relax into the movies and shows you already know and love, all for free. Shwing! Even our news is uplifting.

• 0:43Speaker 03

  You stay classy, San Diego.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  Watch Tommy Boy, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, The X-Files, Wayne's World, and so much more.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  We're not worthy!

• 0:52Speaker 02

  The best things on TV really are free.

• 0:54Speaker 04

  You just have to know where to look.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 1:07Adam Friedland?

  Democrats are just not offering anything to people. And Trump is hilarious. I mean, Adrian, vote for him.

• 1:15Speaker 06

  I mean, I made a lot of fake votes, yeah, fake names, I could vote for him a couple times.

• 1:20Adam Friedland?

  Oh, like you had different identities?

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Ooh, this microphone smells terrible.

• 1:25Speaker 06

  This one doesn't smell that bad.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I got switched, I'm not gonna give you whoever was, who was the last guest on the show?

• 1:31Adam Friedland?

  Oh, Stinky McPoop.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  No, oh my god. Get another mic!

• 1:36Adam Friedland?

  Oh, sorry. What did you do with that?

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Who was the last guest on the show? Was it Mike or Cee? Oh, my god. I'm not even, this is not a bit that I'm, smell this. I don't want to.

• 1:48Adam Friedland?

  My girlfriend does that all the time, she's like, this is the worst smell in the world, smell this. And I'm like, I'm not, I don't want to.

• 1:54Speaker 06

  But you have to.

• 1:55Adam Friedland?

  No, why?

• 1:56Speaker 06

  It's how it works.

• 1:56Adam Friedland?

  She said it's the worst in the world.

• 1:58Speaker 06

  If she loves you, she wants you to share in it.

• 1:59Adam Friedland?

  No, she, no. She also heard no, her likes...

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I'm like, is it my hands? Did I put my hands in something?

• 2:08Speaker 06

  Shit?

• 2:09Adam Friedland?

  It's probably you, dude.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  It's not.

• 2:13Adam Friedland?

  Oh, you know who used that?

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Who?

• 2:15Adam Friedland?

  Um, what's his name? Mr. Patel.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  I'll be, I'll be right back, I'm just gonna get a wipe or something.

• 2:22Adam Friedland?

  Just get another mic, dude. Maybe it's a remnants from when Sav used to fart.

• 2:30Speaker 07

  It's like, you remember that time you followed [BLEEP] on stage?

• 2:32Speaker 06

  Oh my god, he had eaten cod?

• 2:34Speaker 07

  He had eaten cod? And I was, it's so funny because I was like, I know you have a sensitive nose. There's no way this bad and then Joe also smelled it. He's like, no, this smells.

• 2:45Speaker 06

  It smelled so bad.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  It's so funny, it was like a red-

• 2:48Adam Friedland?

  It's you, Pete?

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Ladies and gentlemen, Pete.

• 2:50Adam Friedland?

  Okay. Are we rocking?

• 2:53Speaker 07

  We are rocking.

• 2:54Adam Friedland?

  Okay, welcome to the Adam Friedland Show, special guest.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  I'm gassing myself with the hand sanitizer fumes.

• 2:59Speaker 06

  I like it, it smells good.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's making me dizzy.

• 3:02Adam Friedland?

  Maybe you're pregnant, dude, maybe your sense of smell is a little extra.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  What are you doing, trying to take shots and, and just be Mr. Big Time?

• 3:09Adam Friedland?

  If you got pregnant, I would-

• 3:10Speaker 06

  That would be amazing.

• 3:10Adam Friedland?

  I would support, I would take you to the maz-

• 3:12Speaker 06

  I'd throw you a baby shower.

• 3:13Adam Friedland?

  I would support you through that pregnancy.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:14Adam Friedland?

  Adrian Appalucci, everyone.

• 3:17Speaker 06

  Hi.

• 3:17Adam Friedland?

  You're promoting your new special on Netflix, give it up for her.

• 3:19Speaker 06

  Yes, I'm promoting my new special on Netflix.

• 3:22Adam Friedland?

  I hear it's blowing up.

• 3:24Speaker 06

  I don't know if that's true, but thank you. Let's pretend.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Does Netflix give you like the numbers?

• 3:29Speaker 06

  No.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 3:30Speaker 06

  I kinda don't want them, what if they're like, it's 12?

• 3:32Speaker 01

  But then you don't know anybody else's numbers.

• 3:34Speaker 06

  You don't know-

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I would be like, fucking 12.

• 3:36Adam Friedland?

  12.

• 3:37Speaker 06

  It's amazing.

• 3:37Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 06

  It's better than 11.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  And it's Barack Obama-

• 3:40Adam Friedland?

  Give me the names, yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, Lance Bass.

• 3:42Speaker 06

  Give me their home address. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go thank them personally.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:47Adam Friedland?

  What if a chick watched my special?

• 3:48Speaker 01

  It's Barack Obama and then Lance Bass 11 times.

• 3:52Adam Friedland?

  He's a star, that guy.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  And he keeps turning it off after five minutes.

• 3:55Adam Friedland?

  Didn't he try to go to space after he said he was gay?

• 3:57Speaker 01

  I hope he went to space.

• 3:58Adam Friedland?

  I hope he went to space.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Do you remember the series finale of Family Matters?

• 4:02Speaker 06

  No.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 4:03Speaker 06

  Tell me about it, though, I wanna, I wanna know.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Uh, Steve Urkel and Laura get engaged, he finally gets the pussy.

• 4:09Adam Friedland?

  He finally claps cheeks.

• 4:09Speaker 06

  Wow, I didn't know, I didn't know that they get-

• 4:11Speaker 01

  He had any-

• 4:11Speaker 06

  I love you, Laura!

• 4:13Adam Friedland?

  It would've been weird if he like just was sexually harassing her the whole show and never actually got her.

• 4:18Speaker 06

  And then he just raped her.

• 4:19Adam Friedland?

  The show would've been-

• 4:19Speaker 01

  The show would've been-

• 4:21Speaker 06

  He's like, I finally got her.

• 4:22Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, and Carl's like, I'm, I, he's like, I'm a cop. He's like, I'm a cop, I couldn't even protect my own daughter.

• 4:28Speaker 06

  Right, I mean, nobody thinks he could protect anyone.

• 4:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 4:31Speaker 06

  Didn't he get fucked by Puffy?

• 4:33Adam Friedland?

  Puffy, that's what they say, that Carl Winslow and, uh, was violently, uh, effed by Puffy.

• 4:40Speaker 06

  Oh, I thought it was-

• 4:41Adam Friedland?

  Puffy Diddy.

• 4:41Speaker 06

  I thought they made love.

• 4:42Adam Friedland?

  No, apparently there was like loud and then someone walked in the room. They're like, is that Carl Winslow from Family Matters?

• 4:48Speaker 01

  And he goes, go home, Steve.

• 4:50Adam Friedland?

  That's very good.

• 4:52Speaker 06

  Just because it's loud doesn't mean it wasn't love.

• 4:55Adam Friedland?

  No, then, uh, did he turn to the door?

• 4:58Speaker 01

  He's circle nutting all over his face.

• 4:59Adam Friedland?

  He's like. Did I do that? He said it's, uh.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Go home, Steve. Just come dripping out of his mustache.

• 5:06Adam Friedland?

  Then he said, nothing feels better than making a beep, uh, do something for money. That's what he said to the guy.

• 5:15Speaker 06

  What do you think the beep was?

• 5:16Adam Friedland?

  The N.

• 5:17Speaker 06

  Wow. Which one? Which N?

• 5:21Adam Friedland?

  I don't know if, it was probably soft.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  Probably hard R.

• 5:23Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 5:24Speaker 06

  Oh, okay.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Carl Winslow?

• 5:26Adam Friedland?

  No, no, it was Diddy saying it about, about, yeah, about Winslow, yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, like, like he said, like he was like a plantation owner.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Diddy doesn't understand fiction. So he thought Carl Winslow was real.

• 5:39Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, he's like, you should have protected your daughter.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  He's like, who the hell is Reginald La Vergena? What's his real name?

• 5:46Adam Friedland?

  Val Johnson.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Val Johnson?

• 5:49Speaker 06

  Val Johnson?

• 5:50Adam Friedland?

  Reginald Val Johnson.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like a fake, like European last name, yeah.

• 5:54Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 06

  I kinda love that.

• 5:56Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, it's, it sounds like very, very much like, uh.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  So the series finale, it's a two-part episode is, is, uh, they get engaged and then a man from like the military shows up. I think not even at Steve's house. He goes to the Winslow's house, looking for Steve.

• 6:10Adam Friedland?

  You ever see Steve's house? I think you're just.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  You do, yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, looking for Steve and, uh, he says, we need to send a black nerd into space. And so Steve goes into space and then the spaceship like falls out of orbit.

• 6:24Speaker 06

  Wait, are you just making, this doesn't sound real.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  I'm 100% serious. The series finale of Family Matters, Steve gets lost in space. And then it ends.

• 6:33Speaker 06

  It sounds like something that would happen on Alex.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  It ends with him on TV, you know, they have the live stream from the spaceship and he's like, I love you, Laura. As he drifts off into space.

• 6:42Speaker 06

  So she never marries him?

• 6:43Speaker 01

  I think they save him. It's a two-part episode and then.

• 6:47Speaker 06

  And then he comes back from space?

• 6:49Speaker 01

  He does, yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 06

  And then they have sex.

• 6:51Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 6:52Speaker 06

  Beautiful.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  That's the whole second half.

• 6:54Adam Friedland?

  And it was real too.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Is, is, yes, is.

• 6:56Adam Friedland?

  It wasn't simulated, it was penetrative. Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 06

  Ooh, I love that.

• 6:59Adam Friedland?

  On a family sitcom too, it was groundbreaking.

• 7:02Speaker 06

  That is groundbreaking. I gotta check this out. I can't believe I haven't seen this.

• 7:06Adam Friedland?

  I met Urkel, the real Urkel, one, uh, one time at MSG when, uh, Chappelle was performing.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Did you tell him about Cool Adam and how that's sort of from Stephon?

• 7:19Adam Friedland?

  I was starstruck.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Like Stephon, like you had your own type of Stephon?

• 7:22Adam Friedland?

  One thing I've realized from like doing the show, I'm like, I'm pretty, I don't get like nervous around people. I've only been nervous in the last five years around two people and one was when I saw Dice at the stand. I was like, it's him. I was like, oh my god, like butterflies.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  You were sweating bullets when Jadakiss was here.

• 7:38Adam Friedland?

  Of course.

• 7:39Speaker 06

  I would love to. I wish Jadakiss was here.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it was cra- he was like.

• 7:44Speaker 06

  It's one of, what a big, so Dice, Jadakiss and Urkel, those are your three?

• 7:49Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, all three black guys that I respected growing up.

• 7:52Speaker 06

  Okay, good.

• 7:53Adam Friedland?

  The three black, the three black guys.

• 7:55Speaker 06

  The three blacks.

• 7:55Adam Friedland?

  The three blacks of the apocalypse.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  It would be awesome if Dice did like an outdoor show. He returns to form. He's like doing, you know, he does some big outdoor arena. And people are like, Dice is back. And then it starts raining and like, you know, the paint comes off and he, like he starts revealing that he's a black man underneath.

• 8:15Adam Friedland?

  He's a black guy.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  And then people are like, oh my god.

• 8:17Adam Friedland?

  He's doing a white chicks.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Race.

• 8:19Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, what is, what even is it?

• 8:21Speaker 06

  What is race?

• 8:21Adam Friedland?

  It's a social construct, I guess. I guess Dolezal, Dolezal did nothing wrong.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  And that's, that's what stops Trumpism is realizing that Andrew Dice Clay was actually Steve Urkel.

• 8:32Speaker 06

  Well, everyone thought Dice was Italian and he's not.

• 8:35Adam Friedland?

  He's Jewish.

• 8:35Speaker 06

  Right.

• 8:36Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 06

  So it's like kind of the same thing.

• 8:37Adam Friedland?

  That's where he crossed the line for me. It wasn't the sexism, but it was the, the oil face that he was doing. It was not right. No offense.

• 8:46Speaker 06

  Oh, no, I don't care.

• 8:47Adam Friedland?

  What part of the boot you from?

• 8:49Speaker 06

  No idea.

• 8:49Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 8:50Speaker 06

  Yeah. I'm not super Italian. I just have like a very Italian last name.

• 8:54Adam Friedland?

  Um, so is my girlfriend. She has the last name, but she's, it's only from her dad's dad. But the rest is 75% Irish, something Jewish, something.

• 9:02Speaker 06

  So I'm also Hungarian.

• 9:03Adam Friedland?

  Hungarian, Victor Warbon.

• 9:05Speaker 06

  From my mother's mother, yeah.

• 9:07Adam Friedland?

  Really? She make goulash for you?

• 9:09Speaker 06

  No, I'm more Italian than Hungarian.

• 9:12Adam Friedland?

  Oh, she made gravy for you?

• 9:14Speaker 06

  She made gravy, yeah.

• 9:15Adam Friedland?

  Oh, nice. My mom actually used to make goulash growing up. It was great.

• 9:19Speaker 06

  I've never had it.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  It's good. You should go to Little Poland on, uh, in the East Village.

• 9:23Adam Friedland?

  Second Ave, yeah.

• 9:25Speaker 06

  I don't think I'm gonna do that, but.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Why?

• 9:27Adam Friedland?

  Why?

• 9:28Speaker 06

  I don't feel like I'm in the era for trying new stuff.

• 9:31Adam Friedland?

  You don't wanna go on a double day with me and Nick and get some goulash?

• 9:33Speaker 01

  It's lunch. That's not really trying new things.

• 9:36Speaker 06

  I like having no culture. I'm just a New Yorker. I'm not Italian or Hungarian.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  So what, you just eat like fucking Pepperidge Farm products all day long? I don't like.

• 9:46Speaker 06

  Pretty much.

• 9:47Adam Friedland?

  No culture?

• 9:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, you've cut off all.

• 9:48Speaker 06

  I've got no culture.

• 9:49Adam Friedland?

  We're obsessed with culture, me and they. Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 06

  Nice. What do you feel is most cultural to you?

• 9:55Speaker 01

  I still eat hamburger, fried chicken, but I use kente cloth as to wipe my face. That's how I get my cultural.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  I have a kente napkin.

• 10:05Speaker 06

  What are you? I don't know. Irish?

• 10:07Adam Friedland?

  He's Irish.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, yes, but just like the broad, I'm just a white man. I would say that. I identify more as a white man than anything.

• 10:15Speaker 06

  How do you feel like it is to be a white man right now?

• 10:18Adam Friedland?

  Oh my god, it's awesome. We just won.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  It's fine, and I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that in a self-flagellating way. I'm a white male millionaire. It's like, I'm fine, I'll probably be fine.

• 10:30Adam Friedland?

  Being white is awesome.

• 10:31Speaker 06

  I think you're only gonna do better. For you, I think, it's like if you're doing fine now, it's gonna.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  And you want us to do fine. And I don't mean as white men. I mean as a white man under five foot eight. Because when things are not going good for that group.

• 10:45Adam Friedland?

  That's not me.

• 10:45Speaker 06

  Wait, are you under five eight?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Yes, I'm five foot two.

• 10:48Speaker 06

  You appear taller.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, it's a trick that I play.

• 10:51Adam Friedland?

  It's a trick.

• 10:51Speaker 06

  Well, it's working. You've tricked me. You've tricked me.

• 10:54Adam Friedland?

  He's wearing.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  It only works on Hungarians. It's a dumb race. They're very susceptible to the magic.

• 10:59Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 06

  I love, I also love magic.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  You've seen The Illusionist, right? So you know that Hungarian prince, he's like, I need to know how the magic is done. That's because it drives them insane.

• 11:09Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 06

  I love it.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Cause they think it's real.

• 11:11Speaker 06

  I thought you were at least five ten, five eleven.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 11:14Adam Friedland?

  No, no, no.

• 11:15Speaker 06

  You're much shorter.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Five, I say five three, but it's, it's like fi- it's four eleven and a half, probably.

• 11:21Speaker 06

  Wow.

• 11:21Adam Friedland?

  Shakira's height.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I tell you, when white guys under five foot eight are not doing well, it's, you know, that's where you get Hitler.

• 11:29Speaker 06

  I don't know if there is a.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Hitler, Putin, MLK.

• 11:32Speaker 06

  Hitler was doing great though. Hitler was doing amazing.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Five foot seven.

• 11:36Adam Friedland?

  No.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Look it up.

• 11:37Adam Friedland?

  Don't say that about him.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Look it up, dude.

• 11:38Speaker 06

  MLK was also-

• 11:39Adam Friedland?

  You can't say that.

• 11:40Speaker 06

  MLK was also pretty short.

• 11:41Adam Friedland?

  It's not right to say.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  Martin Luther King Jr., hence the Junior, was five foot seven.

• 11:45Adam Friedland?

  Oh, his dad was six three?

• 11:46Speaker 01

  His dad was a normal sized, yeah.

• 11:48Speaker 06

  But Junior Junior was five eight. Right on my Junior Junior.

• 11:52Adam Friedland?

  It's like, it's like saying Lil, right? No, he was not five seven.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  You know how there's Sylvester the Cat and then Sylvester Junior?

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's kinda there. That was there. If you see them side by side. Martin Luther King Senior and Martin Luther King Junior. It's very much Sylvester and Sylvester Junior.

• 12:11Adam Friedland?

  Pete, is that-

• 12:14Adam Friedland?

  Five seven? I feel like we shouldn't say it.

• 12:18Speaker 06

  Why shouldn't you say it?

• 12:19Adam Friedland?

  Because it's-

• 12:20Speaker 06

  He's still a king. He's a tiny king.

• 12:24Adam Friedland?

  I don't know if you should say he's five seven.

• 12:26Speaker 06

  But I did.

• 12:26Adam Friedland?

  He did great things.

• 12:27Speaker 06

  He did, and I agreed.

• 12:28Adam Friedland?

  The Civil Rights Act. I mean, like-

• 12:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, then, if you're short and you could do something like that, that's even more impressive. The fact that Hitler was so tiny and still had all this power is pretty-

• 12:36Adam Friedland?

  So you're impressed by, you're impressed?

• 12:37Speaker 06

  I'm very impressed by all of that.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  I went to Alcatraz, I did Cobb's last weekend, and I went to Alcatraz.

• 12:42Speaker 06

  I've been there, too.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  It's, I, that was the most, I enjoyed it so much.

• 12:46Adam Friedland?

  It's really bad there.

• 12:48Speaker 06

  I like when they let you go in the cell and close it.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  And the cells are all for tiny guys.

• 12:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  There's, I'm looking at it, I'm like, if you're six two, you would die in here, immediately.

• 12:57Speaker 06

  You wouldn't die, you'd just be sitting a lot.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 06

  It wouldn't be great for your, your legs.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:04Adam Friedland?

  So you're impressed by Hitler?

• 13:06Speaker 06

  I mean, take away the bad stuff.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  You don't have to be such free speech comedy right now.

• 13:11Speaker 06

  Listen, I think-

• 13:12Speaker 01

  This isn't that kinda show.

• 13:13Speaker 06

  I'm just being honest.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  We're not in Austin, Texas.

• 13:14Speaker 06

  The fact that he could garner all that attention and get people to do what he want is pretty impressive.

• 13:19Adam Friedland?

  He was a real showboat.

• 13:22Adam Friedland?

  He was a real drama queen.

• 13:24Speaker 06

  You're trying to say, get me to say, hey Hitler, I'm just not gonna do it.

• 13:26Adam Friedland?

  You-

• 13:28Speaker 06

  Like, I'm just not gonna do it, so don't even waste your time.

• 13:30Adam Friedland?

  So you think-

• 13:31Speaker 06

  MLK was short, Hitler was a powerful man.

• 13:34Adam Friedland?

  You think he put up numbers, that's what you're saying?

• 13:36Speaker 06

  He put up numbers, three pointers every day.

• 13:38Adam Friedland?

  You agree with the six million, but you're impressed by it?

• 13:41Speaker 06

  I agree, he killed all those people.

• 13:43Adam Friedland?

  Why wouldn't anti Semites say that it wasn't real? Why wouldn't they say like, "That's awesome, it was so many." Right? Why is it denial? They should be like, "You know, he should have finished the job."

• 13:56Speaker 06

  But nobody really talks about Stalin, and he killed way more people.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  People talk about Stalin.

• 14:00Adam Friedland?

  He didn't kill him.

• 14:01Speaker 06

  But when people talk about-

• 14:02Speaker 01

  I know, people say that, they go, "Oh, well, nobody talks about Stalin or Mao."

• 14:05Speaker 06

  Hitler is always the person that they reference.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  People constantly talk about Stalin or Mao.

• 14:08Speaker 06

  They do, but Hitler is the guy that you think of when you think of someone that's terrible.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:13Speaker 06

  That's the guy you use.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Because it's easier, it's easier to understand. It's like, "Okay, so Stalin killed 20 million people." What kind of people? You're like, "Oh, was there like, Leons Cossacks?" And you're like, "There's too many letters in whatever that race is."

• 14:26Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, I don't even know what that is, yeah.

• 14:27Speaker 06

  I just want Stalin to-

• 14:28Speaker 01

  That ain't why it's me.

• 14:29Speaker 06

  I just want Stalin to get his flowers, that's it.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  You can kind of see yourself doing it. That's, I think, the main thing with Hitler.

• 14:34Adam Friedland?

  You're jealous.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Is you're like, "I kinda, well, I couldn't be that bad." You know what I mean?

• 14:39Adam Friedland?

  Oh, he, he really blacked out on that one.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  He fucking went, he crashed out.

• 14:43Adam Friedland?

  He popped all the way off.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  And so it's, it's more, it's like when you watch a video of a drunk person having a meltdown in public, you're like, "Oh, that could have been me." You know what I mean? And so that's, that's what resonates with people when they see Hitler, because there's something about him that makes them disgusted with themselves. Whereas, I have no idea, Stalin killed 20 million people, and it's like-

• 15:06Speaker 06

  Give Stalin his flowers.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  He could have killed 20 million aliens.

• 15:09Adam Friedland?

  He sent them-

• 15:09Speaker 06

  They still count.

• 15:10Adam Friedland?

  He sent them to go fight in the war, and they all died. And it won the war.

• 15:16Speaker 06

  You're not gonna get me to hate Stalin either.

• 15:19Adam Friedland?

  I don't, I, I love the man.

• 15:21Speaker 06

  He's a great man, also small.

• 15:23Adam Friedland?

  Have you seen Young Stalin? Look up a picture of Young Stalin.

• 15:25Speaker 06

  I have a joke about how hot he is. He's delicious. The hottest guy I've ever seen.

• 15:29Adam Friedland?

  He looks like Nick.

• 15:30Speaker 06

  Stalin is better looking than you.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  We don't look the same.

• 15:32Adam Friedland?

  Young Stalin looks like Nick, and Young Trosky looks like me.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  He's, I just have a mustache and he has glasses.

• 15:39Speaker 06

  I don't think you guys look either of them.

• 15:40Adam Friedland?

  Look it up, dude, people have made memes about it.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  You know how tall Stalin was?

• 15:42Speaker 06

  I know he was also short.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  5'4".

• 15:45Speaker 06

  Disgusting, but I would have still had sex with him.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  And he had a fucked up leg also.

• 15:50Speaker 06

  Yeah. I would have let him, I would have given him a ride on my back.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  He had like a-

• 15:53Speaker 06

  I would have carried him around after.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  He had like a club, club foot, too.

• 15:58Speaker 06

  Amazing. You're not gonna get me to hate Stalin either. You guys are trying to get me to hate all these men that I love.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  I'm not trying to get you, I'm giving you information. I'm not trying to do anything.

• 16:07Speaker 06

  I knew he's short. I knew all of them are short.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Oddly enough, Mao, 6'5".

• 16:12Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 06

  Not attracted to him at all.

• 16:15Adam Friedland?

  Come on. The man was a, he was undeniable.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  He was like a big, burly.

• 16:20Speaker 06

  I want a short dictator.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:25Adam Friedland?

  5'5". Nick, you're lying on his ass.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  I'm not lying on his ass.

• 16:29Adam Friedland?

  Why?

• 16:29Speaker 01

  He gets an extra inch from the prosthetic, the orthopedic shoe he had to wear.

• 16:34Adam Friedland?

  You know, come on, I'm a tankie, you know that dude. You can't be saying a 5'4" is a, a 5'5" is a 5'4".

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 16:40Adam Friedland?

  You're trying, that's revisionist, bro.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 16:44Adam Friedland?

  Anyway, I wanna talk to you guys about something called cornbread.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Jiffy cornbread, 75 cents, it'll feed a family.

• 16:54Speaker 06

  Jiffy cornbread is the best.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  When I, when I lived, do you know who Chris Cubus is?

• 16:58Speaker 06

  No.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  He's an Austin comedian, but I lived with him and he was like, he's like, "Yeah, it's 75 cents, you can eat for fucking 3 days." And I'm like, "This is, this is like what Civil War soldiers would have to do."

• 17:09Speaker 06

  I mean, we ate that as kids, so yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  But as it, that's it. Cornbread, nothing else.

• 17:15Adam Friedland?

  Cornbread tastes delicious.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  It does, but that's your only meal for 3 days in a row is a tin of cornbread that costs 75 cents?

• 17:21Adam Friedland?

  In her poor ass family, not us.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 17:23Speaker 06

  Right.

• 17:24Adam Friedland?

  We were eating Lunchables.

• 17:26Speaker 06

  My favorite thing about Nick is like, when I think of you, I just think of you living with those Asians.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  That was a long time ago.

• 17:31Speaker 06

  I know, but I still love that idea of you just being in a closet.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  You know what's funny? People would, people would talk about that [BLEEP] had like an intervention? And people acted like it was this absurd thing, which was bizarre to me for 2 reasons. One, because it's like... Well, yeah, it's cause, okay, so there's, [BLEEP] was like...

• 17:49Speaker 01

  I think she said something to the effect of, she was like, hey, do you want to have lunch and meet? And I was like, oh, maybe this is about putting a show on in the Greek.

• 17:55Speaker 06

  Right.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  She's like, you can't be living like that.

• 17:58Adam Friedland?

  With those people.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  And I was like, why? And she's like, well, that's not how humans live.

• 18:03Speaker 06

  That's how they're living now.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  I'm like, there's a billion Chinese people living like that down there. But what was funny, there was a female comedian named, I think her name was Amy Janz? Had something like that. She did open mics, she'd do shows, I don't know if she continued doing comedy or not. But like, one day I was like leaving my building and I ran into her and I'm like, do you also live with a Chinese family? And she was in even more, I mean, she was in like a box, basically. She was like their pet. And like, nobody, nobody, they would see her around, nobody said anything.

• 18:33Speaker 06

  Nobody wants to help women though. You gotta be honest.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Well, the Chinese do. Obviously.

• 18:37Speaker 06

  Don't they kill all the, don't they kill all the women in China or they're stopped doing?

• 18:41Speaker 01

  They stopped doing that. Now they've created, now they have like population collapse because there are no pussy for Chinese. Cause they all wanted sons.

• 18:49Speaker 06

  Right.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:50Adam Friedland?

  Well, apparently.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Which was good for the economy. Obviously it made a lot of sense. They can make stuff now.

• 18:54Speaker 06

  Right.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  But now they, you know, no pussy for Chinese.

• 18:57Adam Friedland?

  Apparently after the war broke out in Ukraine, there was just a run on mail order brides from Ukraine and in China.

• 19:04Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 19:05Adam Friedland?

  A lot of them are over there.

• 19:06Speaker 06

  That actually is great timing now.

• 19:06Adam Friedland?

  Cause they were like, they're considered to be the most beautiful and the most resistant to feminism.

• 19:14Adam Friedland?

  That's in China at least.

• 19:15Speaker 06

  Right. But I like the timing of that.

• 19:18Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, maybe they were behind, maybe like Vlad, do us a solid, invade the hottest girl country for us.

• 19:25Speaker 06

  And then we'll have them here in China now.

• 19:26Adam Friedland?

  We'll go in. Yeah. Okay, guys, cornbread is actually not that, you think of the food, but it's actually perhaps also a natural and healthier way to experience carefree relaxation. Cornbread's THC gummies offer a balanced sense of happiness and relaxation. America's first USDA organic THC edible. Proudly grown in Kentucky. One to one THC CBD ratio, perfect for talking, taking the edge off without making you feel anxious and paranoid with, like another cannabis edible. Pete, you had one last night? It was delicious. Pete had one and he had the.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Pete, do they taste like cornbread?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Awesome.

• 20:08Adam Friedland?

  That's incredible. 10mg of the THC per gummy. For those, uh, and it's, Pete, you said that was just the right dose. He said he dosed last night and it was perfect.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  10mg is normal, right? There's a store next to my apartment that sells edible. I went in, I'm like, what's the lowest dosage? And the lady was like, um, these ones are like a thousand.

• 20:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 20:30Speaker 06

  That seems pretty high.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's too much. I was like, is that the lowest? And she goes, uh, well, this one's 50. I'm like, that's a huge difference.

• 20:38Speaker 06

  Maybe she's just seeing if you knew the difference.

• 20:40Adam Friedland?

  50 is a huge amount.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Between numbers?

• 20:43Speaker 06

  Maybe, yeah.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. What if I was like, yeah, that, yeah, 50 sounds bigger than a thousand.

• 20:49Speaker 06

  It sounded like she didn't know though.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  I don't think legally you're allowed to sell weed to somebody who has that problem.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  You mean, if like a guy with Down syndrome went into a bar and he was like, yeah, long day of work. Yeah, serve me up. I think they would be like, you have to leave. I think we would go to jail if we served.

• 21:06Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 21:06Speaker 06

  Can you not serve people with Down syndrome?

• 21:08Speaker 01

  I wouldn't. If I was a bartender, I'm like, I'm not gonna risk it.

• 21:11Speaker 06

  I would.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 06

  Why not?

• 21:12Adam Friedland?

  Well, I don't know.

• 21:13Speaker 06

  Treat them as equals.

• 21:14Adam Friedland?

  I haven't read the constitution.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Let me check your ID. And then when he pulls out a Blockbuster card, you say, I'm sorry, sir, this is not.

• 21:20Speaker 06

  That guy's my favorite person in the bar. He's staying all night.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Not me. Not me. All Chinese rail workers. That's what I want in my saloon.

• 21:29Speaker 06

  Wow.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 21:31Speaker 06

  You hate Down syndrome?

• 21:32Speaker 01

  Well, I would say Chinese rail worker is adjacent.

• 21:35Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. Come on.

• 21:36Speaker 06

  I don't know if that's true.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  I would say the Down syndrome people are doing a very racist impression of Chinese rail workers.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  And I don't like that.

• 21:46Adam Friedland?

  It's not right. We're letting them get away with it.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  These folks built the trains.

• 21:51Speaker 06

  That is true.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:52Adam Friedland?

  They like trains, they're... Alright, uh, cornbread uses no harsh solvents like petrochemicals or industrial acids. Unlike most hemp THC products, so there's no synthetic ingredients. The farm bill, uh, it's compliant with the farm bill and legal for adults of over 21 years.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  What the hell is the farm bill?

• 22:11Adam Friedland?

  The farm bill, I don't know.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  That's gotta be, just the name makes me think it's 6,000 pages long.

• 22:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, I'm not reading that shit.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  And in there, there's like appropriations for building gas chambers for Israel.

• 22:22Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, there's like another 25 billion to God, to the Gaza war.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  It's about farms.

• 22:27Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 06

  It's weird that it's even in the description for these gummies.

• 22:30Adam Friedland?

  What's that?

• 22:31Speaker 06

  The farm bill.

• 22:32Adam Friedland?

  The farm bill and the fact that, um, Israel has rights to defend itself is also in this. I don't know why they would put that in the copy, but listen, I'm gonna read whatever the sponsor is gonna say.

• 22:42Speaker 06

  You gotta do that.

• 22:43Adam Friedland?

  If you're looking for a healthier way to enjoy a carefree moment, you have to give Cornbread Hemp a try. They've created the first ever USDA organic THC gummies that are 100% legal. As a special offer for our listeners, you can get 30% off your first order. Just visit cornbreadhemp.com/tafs and use promo code TAFS at checkout. Again, that's cornbreadhemp.com/tafs and use code TAFS for 30% off your first order. Cheers to a happier, healthier, happy hour.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  I should also make it clear, I just went into that store to inquire about these things. I don't actually take any kind of THC.

• 23:20Adam Friedland?

  You're not a goofhead.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  I don't take any, I, I'm trying to buy a $15,000 gun and it's like this insane process. This like big hunting rifle that I think would be a nice like family heirloom.

• 23:30Adam Friedland?

  Is that the one you sent me?

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:32Adam Friedland?

  And you said I'm charging the show for this?

• 23:33Speaker 01

  I know, I wanna blow all my money and then if I have.

• 23:36Adam Friedland?

  You can't even have a gun in New York City.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  If I have a family, I'm like, this is all I'm leaving you is this $15,000 gun.

• 23:40Adam Friedland?

  It's the entire, yeah, and you have to share it.

• 23:43Speaker 06

  I love the idea of you getting a gun and giving it to your family.

• 23:46Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 06

  That you don't even have yet.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Just this nice, you know.

• 23:49Adam Friedland?

  I know I was a distant father and I know there are eight of you, but you have to split the gun.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  It's this giant hunting rifle, it's $15,000, I want it.

• 23:56Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:56Speaker 01

  And, uh, but yeah, to get a gun in New York, it's insane. You have to like, you know, you can't, no drug use for like two years, you can't have any felonies. It's like, this is, seems unconscionable.

• 24:06Speaker 06

  If you want a gun, I'll get you a gun.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  A $15,000 hunting rifle?

• 24:10Speaker 06

  I'll get you a $15,000 hunting rifle.

• 24:11Adam Friedland?

  What kind of money Netflix putting up? Let's, let's have numbers.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  She's a 3D printer.

• 24:15Adam Friedland?

  Let's talk numbers.

• 24:16Speaker 06

  Five million.

• 24:16Adam Friedland?

  They give you five milli for that?

• 24:18Speaker 06

  Five mil.

• 24:18Adam Friedland?

  No shit.

• 24:19Speaker 06

  I'm not supposed to say it.

• 24:20Adam Friedland?

  You're not supposed to say it.

• 24:21Speaker 06

  I'm pretty proud of it.

• 24:22Adam Friedland?

  So what'd you do the first day you had the money?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Did they actually give you five mil?

• 24:24Speaker 06

  They gave me five million dollars.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  That's fucking awesome.

• 24:27Speaker 06

  No.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  I mean, they could.

• 24:29Speaker 06

  They could, but they did not give you five million dollars.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, they have that money to give.

• 24:32Speaker 06

  Just like I'm not gonna, just like I'm not gonna buy you a rifle.

• 24:35Adam Friedland?

  It's not Joe Coy.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  I didn't say buy me the rifle, you said acquire it.

• 24:39Speaker 06

  I'm gonna have to do something for it.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:41Adam Friedland?

  Well, listen, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I'm not gonna tell you what to do.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  It would be funny if you were just trying to be cool, and I'm like, sure, let's set it up, and then I give you the money, and you end up having to spend like a hundred thousand dollars to get this rifle.

• 24:51Speaker 06

  This rifle?

• 24:51Speaker 01

  I just don't wanna look like a fraud. And then you go to prison for like, what are they called, straw purchases?

• 24:59Adam Friedland?

  What's that?

• 25:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't know straw purchases.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  Straw purchases, if like you, you buy a gun in another state, you're like, oh, it's for me, and then you send it to your cousin in New York.

• 25:06Speaker 06

  Oh, okay.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 06

  Well, I'll get you a gun probably in Pennsylvania, you're gonna have to come to Pennsylvania to get it.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  That's a straw purchase, that's like a serious.

• 25:12Speaker 06

  That's what I'm gonna actually do.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Adam Friedland?

  So you're, that's your premeditated plan?

• 25:16Speaker 01

  But do you have?

• 25:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, I didn't know it was a straw purchase when I thought about it.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Are you a citizen of PA, or?

• 25:21Speaker 06

  Am I a citizen of Pennsylvania?

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, you have to have a, like, if you go to a gun-

• 25:24Speaker 06

  No, but I feel like it's not gonna be hard.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  It is.

• 25:27Speaker 06

  I'm gonna get a fake ID.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Okay, alright.

• 25:30Speaker 06

  None of this is gonna be legit.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 25:32Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, you gotta go to St. Mark's Place and get a fake ID.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  I will not be doing any of this when the inevitable investigation comes.

• 25:40Speaker 06

  This is crazy.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:41Speaker 06

  You're not gonna take my gift.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Well-

• 25:44Adam Friedland?

  You're like one of those rappers that's-

• 25:45Speaker 06

  But you don't know.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  They would just come to my house and take the gun, and I'd go to prison for ten years.

• 25:49Adam Friedland?

  You're like a rapper who describes their crimes in detail, and then gets arrested for that exact crime, and then they use it as evidence.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Did you see this, uh-

• 25:57Adam Friedland?

  You know this guy, YNW Melly?

• 25:59Speaker 01

  Did you see the black nerd that got arrested for printing his own guns?

• 26:02Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 26:03Speaker 01

  His name is Dexter. It's that bad, yeah. It's a black, a middle-aged black guy named Dexter, who was in Bushwick, just 3D printing guns and posting them online, he's like, look at these, these are all rifles I made.

• 26:14Speaker 06

  Do they work?

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 26:15Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  And they kicked down his door, fucking arrested him, he just got sentenced to ten years.

• 26:18Speaker 06

  He should've just shot them, to show that they were effective.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  No, he was like very peaceful, he's a nerd, he's like a computer programmer.

• 26:24Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  And he just likes making guns.

• 26:26Adam Friedland?

  That's what the lawyer said too, and it really didn't work.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it didn't, well, the lawyer went into the-

• 26:30Adam Friedland?

  Look at this, his name's Dexter.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  The trial, and he kept fucking, like, talking about the Second Amendment, which is not, like, I guess-

• 26:36Adam Friedland?

  You can't do that.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, not in a state court, it doesn't mean anything.

• 26:41Adam Friedland?

  Especially in a city where it's highly illegal.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:43Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. I mean, even our, like, replicas, if we took those out on the street, we'd get arrested.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't even know if you're allowed to have them here, to be honest.

• 26:52Adam Friedland?

  Now you're doing the rapper thing.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  They sent them to us.

• 26:55Adam Friedland?

  Now you're doing the rapper thing.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  I was like, I'm sure if this was illegal, they would have a note on the.

• 26:58Speaker 06

  Guys, please, I'm gonna get both of you a gun.

• 26:59Adam Friedland?

  What's the most illegal thing you've done?

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Do you have a gun?

• 27:02Speaker 06

  I don't have a gun.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Okay, well.

• 27:04Speaker 06

  I can't, I would use it, I drive in New York City, I would kill everyone.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:07Adam Friedland?

  At the, what, at the Cellar?

• 27:09Speaker 06

  Not at the Cellar, I would be on the highway just shooting everyone.

• 27:12Adam Friedland?

  Oh, like the BQE?

• 27:14Speaker 06

  No, more like the Cross Bronx or FDR.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  I did Comedy Zone in Charlotte.

• 27:18Speaker 06

  But I would do it like that, like a rapper.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  I did Comedy Zone in Charlotte like two months ago, and they're, they're pretty like tight with security, they have like a cop there and stuff.

• 27:25Speaker 06

  Well, didn't somebody bring a gun there?

• 27:27Speaker 01

  They pointed out to me, they were like, yeah, that's where the bullet, and they showed me on the stage where the bullet hit the fucking stage.

• 27:32Speaker 06

  I mean, it is pretty cool.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 06

  If you, if it's not that night.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was a guy going to kill Craig Robinson, but instead, like, I forget, who else was it? It was like, no, he went to kill Sean Wayans.

• 27:44Adam Friedland?

  Oh, okay.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  And, but instead, yeah, or maybe he was trying to kill David Allen Greer, but Bill Cosby was there.

• 27:50Speaker 06

  He was just somebody black, he didn't care who it was.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  It was a black comic that was supposed to be, be there, and there was a different black comic.

• 27:55Speaker 06

  I dated Dave and Al Greer.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Really?

• 27:57Adam Friedland?

  You did?

• 27:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  Interesting, hence the need for a gun, I guess.

• 28:00Speaker 06

  Couple of years, yeah.

• 28:02Adam Friedland?

  You were living in color.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  That's what they say, once you go black, you get a, better get a firearm license.

• 28:08Speaker 06

  I had a firearm before, he sold it to me.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  David Allen Greer sold you a gun.

• 28:13Adam Friedland?

  He bequeathed it in his death.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 28:15Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, to the love of his life.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  A fifteen thousand dollar hunting gun.

• 28:18Speaker 06

  It wasn't a hunting gun, though.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  The dream would be a gun that goes from like here to behind Adam's head, if I'm holding it.

• 28:25Speaker 06

  Right.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  And it's got the Gaston end where it's like a big bell.

• 28:28Adam Friedland?

  The horn, yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 28:30Adam Friedland?

  The horn, yeah.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  And I walk around with a pith helmet, and I go, this is my constitutional right.

• 28:36Adam Friedland?

  Do you wanna go on safari, Nick?

• 28:38Speaker 01

  Um, is that where you kill the animal?

• 28:40Adam Friedland?

  No, you just go look at them.

• 28:41Speaker 06

  You kill your friends.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Oh, then, yes.

• 28:43Adam Friedland?

  But I have to go see my grandma, but it's gonna be so, like, sad seeing a ninety-three year old, we should just go on safari while we're there.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 28:50Speaker 06

  Your grandmother's ninety-three?

• 28:51Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, she lives in Cape Town.

• 28:54Speaker 06

  Oh, ninety-three, don't you feel like she should be dead?

• 28:58Adam Friedland?

  Recording.

• 28:59Speaker 06

  I know, I want her to hear this.

• 29:01Adam Friedland?

  No, I don't think she'll.

• 29:02Speaker 06

  She's wasting everyone's money by being a live show.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Maybe she'll, maybe she'll, uh, maybe there'll be a, a, a hunting accident on safari with grandma.

• 29:10Speaker 06

  Now we're talking, now we're talking.

• 29:12Adam Friedland?

  She's one of the greatest ladies I've ever.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  It would be funny if you accidentally shot your ninety-three year old grandma on the head with like a, like a bullet that big.

• 29:18Speaker 06

  And then they charged you?

• 29:20Adam Friedland?

  She said something so mean, she.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  I was trying to shoot an elephant and I accidentally took off the top half of my grandma's body.

• 29:29Adam Friedland?

  It's not fun, she's a great woman, but.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  And then the guy driving the golf cart is just like, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I can't believe, oh my goodness.

• 29:40Speaker 06

  Do you think you would pick her body up?

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Oh my goodness, I can't believe what has happened.

• 29:43Speaker 06

  Or do you just leave her on the floor?

• 29:45Adam Friedland?

  She was a divorced woman, she started a business, she raised a family.

• 29:49Speaker 06

  Who's the business?

• 29:51Adam Friedland?

  She's an art gallery.

• 29:51Speaker 06

  How to be a whore?

• 29:52Adam Friedland?

  She's like, come on.

• 29:55Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, how to be a whore is not a business, Adrian.

• 29:58Speaker 06

  It is if you're smart.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  It was a show on, on, on Bravo.

• 30:01Speaker 06

  It is if you're smart.

• 30:02Adam Friedland?

  I would call it a show, not a business.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:05Adam Friedland?

  How to be, what is it, is it how to be a whore?

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. She's just going around in a motorized wheelchair with her legs open. You can just see her pussy.

• 30:13Speaker 06

  That's not how you be a whore. You can't give it away.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Well, ninety-three.

• 30:16Speaker 06

  You can't give it away.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  At ninety-three.

• 30:18Adam Friedland?

  A brilliant woman, sharp as a tack.

• 30:22Adam Friedland?

  She hates my girlfriend though, which is very funny. But yeah, last time we went there, she just immediately just hated my girlfriend. And like, if I like went to the beach or something with my girlfriend, she'd be like, how's your honeymoon? And I was like, I was like, what's going on? And she was like, you spent the day with her.

• 30:37Speaker 06

  Does she know how to be a whore?

• 30:38Adam Friedland?

  She was like, she was acting like it was like, she was competing for like, with another lady for me.

• 30:43Speaker 06

  I get that, she was jealous.

• 30:44Adam Friedland?

  And then I took her out on a date, like a.

• 30:47Speaker 06

  Your grandmother or your girlfriend?

• 30:48Adam Friedland?

  My grandmother, like on a lunch date, and it was cool. We walked in the restaurant and like everyone there was like, oh, it's you. And like, one of the guys was like, this is my girlfriend, this is the guy, this guy named Blessing from, and he was like, yeah, my name's Blessing, I'm from Zimbabwe. He's like, this is the coolest lady in the world. I was like, oh, granny. Like you're so popular. He's like, this is my girlfriend. I was like, are you fucking with my girl? She's ninety three, disgusting. Anyway, but um, yeah, so she said to me, she's like telling me, is your girlfriend physically active? And I was like, what do you mean physically? She's like, I was like, well, yeah, she's like, grew up like she's, she was an athlete growing up. She's like, goes to the gym. She's very, you know. And then she goes, um, I think she'll have weight issues later on in life.

• 31:32Speaker 06

  She might.

• 31:33Adam Friedland?

  And I was like, Granny, come on. It's so mean.

• 31:37Speaker 06

  She just wants you to know that she might be fat.

• 31:39Adam Friedland?

  Dude, she's, it's, it's really, it's so funny that she was just like, like, uh, acting like she's, she had to compete with some other bitch for the most perfect.

• 31:50Speaker 06

  Is your grandmother in shape?

• 31:53Adam Friedland?

  Is she cheap?

• 31:54Speaker 06

  In shape?

• 31:55Adam Friedland?

  Oh, uh, she's ninety three. I mean, no, she just, she's for her, I mean, no, my, my,

• 32:04Adam Friedland?

  I can't, no, my fam, they don't listen.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  They're not listening.

• 32:07Adam Friedland?

  They're not listening. She has, she doesn't like, she had to build herself into like, she wasn't naturally, she wasn't naturally an attractive woman.

• 32:16Speaker 06

  Right.

• 32:16Adam Friedland?

  And so like, um,

• 32:18Speaker 06

  I see why she's insecure though.

• 32:19Adam Friedland?

  She didn't like, she didn't like my mother and, and now my girlfriend because they're like, kind of were just naturally attractive. She, she has like a kind of, she hates, uh, women, I think. We were there a couple of years ago during Me Too and my dad and my sister were getting in an argument. My dad was like, those women knew what they were doing, going to a, going to a hotel room with Harvey Weinstein. And my sister was like, you fucking bastard, you don't know what, and then she's like, can I speak my grandma? And he's like, yes, let's listen to a lady who's old, like, who's old. She's been a lady for a long time. And she's like, I've never felt sexism a day in my life.

• 32:57Adam Friedland?

  And we're like, what? We're like, really? And she's like, basically she said, cause she's so incredible and brilliant that she's transcended her, um, basically her, uh, like disability of being a woman.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  She had a show called How to Be a Whore.

• 33:11Adam Friedland?

  No, it wasn't.

• 33:11Speaker 06

  Also, you just said she was ugly. So of course she's not gonna have any sexism.

• 33:15Adam Friedland?

  I didn't say she was ugly.

• 33:16Speaker 06

  You said she was disgusting.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  So that in and of itself is a form of sexism.

• 33:19Adam Friedland?

  I didn't say she was ugly.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  I've never felt any sexism. Meanwhile, your grandson's calling her busted on it.

• 33:24Adam Friedland?

  I'm not saying she's but, she's not.

• 33:26Speaker 06

  She's not gonna get raped.

• 33:27Adam Friedland?

  She looks exactly like Meryl Streep.

• 33:29Speaker 06

  She's not gonna get raped if she's gross.

• 33:31Adam Friedland?

  One thousand percent like Meryl Streep and it's bizarre. She looks, she looks at Meryl Streep. Anyway, but yeah, she said, I've never had a problem with any type of person. No matter male, female, there's only one type of person I don't like. And I thought she was gonna say, yeah. And she goes, she said, she said, queeny gay men.

• 33:50Speaker 06

  Those are my favorite people.

• 33:51Adam Friedland?

  That's what she said. She was her least favorite kind of person.

• 33:54Speaker 06

  Those are my favorite.

• 33:55Adam Friedland?

  Well, I don't know. It was a bizarre answer. My dad was like, yes, listen to her. She knows what it's like to be a woman. I think he was trying to win the me too argument with my sister. It was like, it was a, it was a hellish car ride.

• 34:07Speaker 06

  Oof, that does sound like it.

• 34:08Adam Friedland?

  But I had no part of the, part of it. So I was kind of.

• 34:11Speaker 06

  You were just silent the whole time.

• 34:12Adam Friedland?

  I was kind of just like, this is a good one.

• 34:14Speaker 06

  That's a good fight.

• 34:14Adam Friedland?

  This would be a good story for Adrian on the podcast in eight years' time.

• 34:19Speaker 06

  I had a friend whose grandmother just died. She was 97.

• 34:22Adam Friedland?

  Ooh.

• 34:23Speaker 06

  Yeah. And he said, the family was pretty upset by it.

• 34:25Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, that's pathetic.

• 34:26Speaker 06

  How, how?

• 34:27Adam Friedland?

  Pathetic.

• 34:27Speaker 06

  She should have been dead like 20 years ago.

• 34:28Adam Friedland?

  Anytime someone acts sad that their grandparents dead, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna be like, I'm so sorry.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  The worst part is.

• 34:34Adam Friedland?

  They're supposed to die.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  People like that, you imagine living that long and it's like, they can tell you about like what life was like in the twenties, right?

• 34:41Speaker 06

  If they could speak.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  Well, then you ask them about it and it's bullshit. I mean, it's just like, I used to buy milk. And you're like, okay, what was Hitler like?

• 34:50Speaker 06

  They said great.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  I, I had a toy that was a rock, you know, it's like, all right. Why are you here?

• 34:57Adam Friedland?

  I'm not gonna talk shit on Hitler.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  You're wasting everyone's time.

• 35:00Speaker 06

  No one's gonna talk shit on Hitler.

• 35:01Adam Friedland?

  A lot of people do. He's got a lot of haters out there.

• 35:05Speaker 06

  I've never met any of them. I'm like your grandmother.

• 35:07Adam Friedland?

  You should meet some. They're some of the greatest people.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  I was watching, uh, audio and video recordings of Teddy Roosevelt from like the nineteen teens.

• 35:16Adam Friedland?

  I just read the first book of his, uh, biography, the Morris.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're boring.

• 35:22Adam Friedland?

  No, no, I thought, I, I got the gist. I didn't want to go to book two, but I, he's amazing.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Why? Nothing happens.

• 35:28Adam Friedland?

  He got so much done in his life.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  He did, but he didn't have a.

• 35:33Adam Friedland?

  You do get that sense of like, oh, he didn't have a phone, but then it's like.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  I didn't think of phone. He did, he wrote like five books before he was thirty, but then the books are just like, basically, he just wrote down what he read on Wikipedia.

• 35:46Adam Friedland?

  No, they didn't have Wikipedia.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Went to the library and then he just copied down facts.

• 35:50Adam Friedland?

  He wrote the definitive naval history of the war of eighteen twelve and it was taught at Annapolis until very recently.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  But then you, you read it and it's bullshit. It's like, this is just facts collected from other places.

• 36:01Adam Friedland?

  It's a history.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Okay, but those, where do you get that information?

• 36:05Adam Friedland?

  He's shitting on this guy.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  It's not like he wrote it.

• 36:06Adam Friedland?

  He's shitting on this guy. He's one of the coolest guys.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Let's get back to the original point, which the book itself is highly overrated. The, the.

• 36:13Adam Friedland?

  The Morris one?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 36:14Adam Friedland?

  Did you read it?

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Yes, I read the first one and I said, I'm not continuing.

• 36:17Adam Friedland?

  I said, I got the gist.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  It's boring and ninety percent of it is like, and then he shot a buffalo. And then he shot a different type of animal.

• 36:24Adam Friedland?

  And his body was lame. I think that's what doctors used to say about like someone, a, a child with a, that was, you know, a weakling.

• 36:31Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 36:32Adam Friedland?

  And his dad said, listen, your body's lame, like.

• 36:35Speaker 06

  But your mind isn't.

• 36:36Adam Friedland?

  You, no, you have to fucking make yourself a man. Like you have to build yourself up. And so he would just like, just go on expeditions for like three months alone into the jungle.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he would go to, he'd go to the gym all the time.

• 36:49Speaker 06

  His dad just didn't want to hang out with him.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  He would go to the gym all the time and he was like that kid.

• 36:52Adam Friedland?

  But he'd swim like twenty miles.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  He was just like.

• 36:54Speaker 06

  His dad just didn't want him in the house.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  He was like that kid from Gummo.

• 36:57Speaker 06

  Please go out.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  He was like that kid from Gummo with the spoons in the basement, right? That's how Teddy Roosevelt was and then.

• 37:03Adam Friedland?

  He's a great man.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Well, then he got older and he like, you know, he went to school and then he had to like, you know, box or compete with other boys and he just got like, like flummox.

• 37:11Adam Friedland?

  I don't think that's true.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  It's in the book that you read.

• 37:15Speaker 06

  Maybe you guys read different books.

• 37:15Adam Friedland?

  His record wasn't flubbed. He didn't lose every match.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  He did. He realized that at like a hundred and forty pounds and like, you know, five nine, all of the time he spent building all this muscle over that summer amounted to nothing.

• 37:28Adam Friedland?

  You're acting like he went to Harvard and everyone just beat his ass.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Everyone beat his ass.

• 37:32Adam Friedland?

  No, that's not true.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:34Adam Friedland?

  That's not true.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  No, he was always.

• 37:35Speaker 06

  I think he got beat up a lot.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  He was always, he was always like tough and kind of a showboating.

• 37:39Speaker 06

  Cause most of the things he say I disagree with.

• 37:41Adam Friedland?

  He's better looking, he's handsome.

• 37:43Speaker 06

  I think you're better looking than him, honestly.

• 37:44Adam Friedland?

  Shut up, stop it. I wasn't fishing for compliments. This is one of the most handsome guys ever.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  My point is that he had, he's gonna sit here and say the book was great.

• 37:52Adam Friedland?

  And his body was great.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  His book was great.

• 37:54Adam Friedland?

  Tiny penis, tiny penis.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  He's gonna say the book was great.

• 37:58Adam Friedland?

  Uh huh.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  And then say, oh, I didn't actually like it. And I said, why do you even do that?

• 38:02Adam Friedland?

  No, I didn't read the second and third because I wanted to move on to something else. But, I will say this, like, he, uh, he also like, uh, I think that he just got so much shit done that I was impressed. Also, he was the first president to invite a black person for dinner at the White House.

• 38:20Speaker 06

  That's in the book?

• 38:21Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:23Speaker 06

  Is that a pro or a con?

• 38:25Adam Friedland?

  Come on, dude. You don't, we're not in Austin, Texas right now doing free speech.

• 38:29Speaker 06

  Okay, I'm just making, I'm just making sure. I don't know.

• 38:31Adam Friedland?

  Hitler's a con. He's, that's a pro. Booker T. Washington came for dinner. I think it was Booker T.

• 38:36Speaker 06

  What did they serve? Please don't say it.

• 38:39Adam Friedland?

  Cornbread.

• 38:46Speaker 06

  Cornbread's delicious.

• 38:47Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, it was one of the, it was Teddy Roosevelt's favorite food.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  I would say Teddy Roosevelt sucks.

• 38:52Adam Friedland?

  Come on, dude.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  He sucks.

• 38:53Adam Friedland?

  Why does he suck?

• 38:55Speaker 01

  He just sucks. The guy sucks.

• 38:56Adam Friedland?

  Why does he suck?

• 38:57Speaker 06

  Cause he likes black people?

• 38:58Speaker 01

  No, cause he's like an autistic, obsessive guy.

• 39:01Adam Friedland?

  He got shot and finished a speech.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  So did Donald Trump.

• 39:05Speaker 06

  Right.

• 39:06Adam Friedland?

  No, he had to go.

• 39:07Speaker 06

  He didn't go.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  No, they took him offstage.

• 39:09Speaker 06

  But he wanted to stay. He wanted to stay.

• 39:12Adam Friedland?

  No, he said free, what is it? Fight, fight.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:14Speaker 06

  He said let me stay.

• 39:15Adam Friedland?

  Teddy got shot, but he had a, the speech was so long and boring that the bullet, it like was in his jacket pocket and it dulled the bullet's impact. And then he finished his speech.

• 39:26Speaker 06

  That's so sad for everyone there.

• 39:28Adam Friedland?

  What do you mean sad? It was probably a good speech.

• 39:30Speaker 06

  No, it would be great to see a president die right in front of you.

• 39:34Adam Friedland?

  It would be so sad. It was crazy that Trump got shot on TV.

• 39:38Speaker 06

  They wouldn't really talk about it either.

• 39:39Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, we kind of forgot about it one day later.

• 39:41Speaker 06

  Because everyone dislikes Trump.

• 39:44Adam Friedland?

  But this likes Trump, we would talk about it. It's more so that it's like, nothing's everything, nothing's surprising. Yeah, nothing's real. Yeah. And plus, we know that it was a Huh?

• 39:55Speaker 06

  Are you upset now?

• 39:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think Teddy Roosevelt sucks. I don't like being challenged on that.

• 39:59Adam Friedland?

  You look like him.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  No, I don't.

• 40:01Adam Friedland?

  You're doing a Teddy Roosevelt look right now. You look at Robin Williams Night. You're doing Night of the Museum, Robin Williams, Teddy Roosevelt.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  No, you just don't know.

• 40:08Adam Friedland?

  In fact, you're doing an impression of an impression.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  You just don't even know what people look like.

• 40:11Adam Friedland?

  I know what people look like.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  You're like, oh, this guy looks like Stalin. This guy looks like Stalin and Teddy Roosevelt.

• 40:15Speaker 06

  You do a little bit. Stalin, not Teddy Roosevelt though.

• 40:18Adam Friedland?

  Young Stalin, look it up.

• 40:19Speaker 06

  I know what young Stalin looks like.

• 40:20Adam Friedland?

  He's from Georgia.

• 40:21Speaker 06

  I have him up in my

• 40:22Adam Friedland?

  Georgia. He's a big old Georgia boy. Yeah, I was from Savannah. Raised on comb bread. Yeah. I'mma kill twenty million.

• 40:30Speaker 06

  Million. I like, I like how he says that.

• 40:32Adam Friedland?

  Million. Um, yeah.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  I always wondered about Jon Bernthal's teeth in that movie Fury.

• 40:39Speaker 06

  Who the fuck is that?

• 40:41Speaker 01

  He's an actor. He was the, the sixteenth president of the United States.

• 40:46Speaker 06

  I didn't learn about that.

• 40:47Adam Friedland?

  Who's your favorite president?

• 40:50Speaker 06

  Um.

• 40:50Adam Friedland?

  You didn't listen to the podcast with

• 40:51Speaker 06

  JFK?

• 40:52Adam Friedland?

  With Shane and Louie?

• 40:53Speaker 06

  No, I don't listen to any podcasts. I didn't even know what this was gonna be like, to be honest.

• 40:58Adam Friedland?

  Wait, wait. Do you think as a girl, as a girl, do you think, uh, it's like, he was a piece of ass? Cause when I look at him, I'm like, he's mid, that's a mid guy.

• 41:06Speaker 06

  He's okay. I think Clinton was probably better looking.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  JFK was definitely an angles guy. Cause you see some pictures of him and he's stately and handsome.

• 41:13Speaker 06

  He looks pretty good.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  And the other ones, it's like, his fucking eyes are all fucked up and he's like, cause he, he was very sickly. He had like a bunch of medical problems.

• 41:21Speaker 06

  Like what? He couldn't stop fucking?

• 41:23Speaker 01

  He had some kind of, I think it was Addison's disease is what they diagnosed.

• 41:27Adam Friedland?

  Sounds like a fake girl thing. It sounds like Lena Dunham's suffering from her Addison.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  I don't know, but he had a bunch of intestinal problems and he fucked his back up. Like they kept, they kept doing surgeries on his back and making it worse, but the, the

• 41:39Speaker 06

  Was he hooked on oxytocin?

• 41:40Speaker 01

  His like disc completely degenerated.

• 41:42Adam Friedland?

  He was on, uh, speed, I think. Like

• 41:43Speaker 01

  And then in

• 41:44Adam Friedland?

  That like doctor feel good.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  In World War Two, he was, he was like a, a PT boat, like, uh, uh, captain. So he's like sitting in this fucking chair, bouncing up and down. He's like completely destroyed his back. And, uh, yeah, he almost died like four times.

• 41:59Speaker 06

  Do you think that he was like bad in bed because of that?

• 42:01Adam Friedland?

  No, no, he would hit it reverse cowgirl because of the back.

• 42:03Speaker 06

  Oh, okay. That's smart.

• 42:05Adam Friedland?

  I think that's actually true.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:06Speaker 06

  That is smart.

• 42:06Adam Friedland?

  Or at least I saw that

• 42:07Speaker 01

  He would do a reverse booyah.

• 42:08Speaker 06

  That was in that movie, for sure.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  A reverse booyah.

• 42:11Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Like, he would get down on all fours and then pull his-

• 42:14Adam Friedland?

  Do you know about the booyah?

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:15Speaker 06

  No, it's the booyah.

• 42:17Adam Friedland?

  We've discussed it at great length previously, so sorry for that.

• 42:20Speaker 06

  I don't wanna bore people.

• 42:21Adam Friedland?

  Sorry for the audience, but no, no, no, Adrian, you deserve to know.

• 42:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, please tell me.

• 42:24Adam Friedland?

  We're talking, we're classy guys, we're talking about art.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  There was a porn preview, like, twenty years ago on the internet of some black guy putting his nuts in some white lady's ass. And then he'd pull them out.

• 42:33Speaker 06

  He fit the nuts in her ass?

• 42:34Speaker 01

  And then he pops them out and goes, "Booyah."

• 42:36Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Speaker 06

  How, how did he get them in there?

• 42:39Speaker 01

  I don't know, but you just see, it's, they, there's just that clip-

• 42:41Adam Friedland?

  The term "booyah" is, is so funny.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Pulling his nuts out.

• 42:44Speaker 06

  I know, but I-

• 42:45Adam Friedland?

  He's like, "Booyah."

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Uh, it's getting me good again, yeah.

• 42:50Adam Friedland?

  It's like abracadabra almost, yeah.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  And then, and then about six or seven years ago on the internet, some gay man pioneered the self-booyah. Where he has slow mo-

• 42:59Speaker 06

  Put his balls in his own ass.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  He has slow motion videos of him showing his ass to the camera and his nuts are stuck in his ass. And then he, like, leans forward and they pop out and swing, but it's in slow motion, so it's like-

• 43:18Speaker 06

  White guys can't let black guys have anything.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  What do you mean, what do you, we're not taking that away?

• 43:23Adam Friedland?

  How do you know that white, that gay guy's white? He is white, probably.

• 43:27Speaker 06

  He is white, you just said a white guy, didn't you?

• 43:28Speaker 01

  But a self-booyah, that's a completely different thing. That's the story of America.

• 43:32Adam Friedland?

  He's not doing that again, black people.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  First of all, that's not white people taking something, that is cultural sharing and collaboration.

• 43:38Adam Friedland?

  It's innovation, yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  It's right, that's-

• 43:39Adam Friedland?

  That's what makes our country great.

• 43:40Speaker 06

  Sounds like stealing.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  It's literally, it's jazz music.

• 43:42Adam Friedland?

  It makes our country great. No, that's not mensia.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  No. To say that that's stealing.

• 43:49Adam Friedland?

  You're acting like that's mensia. No, that guy's trying to advance art and art form.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Would you say, are you one of these people that thinks Elvis stole everything?

• 43:55Speaker 06

  Yes, absolutely.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  No, no, Elvis put, Elvis made it-

• 43:59Speaker 06

  He put his own spin on stuff.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 44:01Speaker 06

  But like, he was basically stealing.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  And never without acknowledgement.

• 44:04Adam Friedland?

  I wanna talk to you guys about prize picks.

• 44:07Speaker 06

  About what?

• 44:08Adam Friedland?

  PrizePix, an app that I downloaded immediately when the advertiser told me to and I didn't frustrate the client whatsoever by ignoring texts and emails for five days.

• 44:17Speaker 06

  I'm gonna do it right now.

• 44:19Adam Friedland?

  Guys, PrizePix is the best place to get real money.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Adam's hair looks in the light, too, by the way.

• 44:23Adam Friedland?

  The backlight.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  How nice is it?

• 44:24Speaker 06

  Very shiny.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you.

• 44:26Adam Friedland?

  Look great, had a hair.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  You can't see yourself, but you look great also.

• 44:29Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, you look phenomenal right now.

• 44:31Speaker 06

  Oh, wow, this is great.

• 44:32Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, you look incredible.

• 44:33Speaker 06

  I actually think you're better looking now.

• 44:35Adam Friedland?

  Why?

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:36Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  But you should see how much better his skin looks on the camera than it used to. I mean, that's crazy. I saw a still.

• 44:43Adam Friedland?

  I looked like I was dying.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  A still from the show from six months ago.

• 44:46Adam Friedland?

  I have dermatitis, it's called. PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action. Get real money sports action. Okay, fine.

• 44:55Speaker 06

  It's pretty clunky.

• 44:56Adam Friedland?

  It's a clunky sentence. With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just, you just pick more or less on the least, on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash. So you run your game all season long on PrizePix, guys.

• 45:19Adam Friedland?

  So here's the deal. You can win up to 100 times your, your money on PrizePix with as little as four correct picks. PrizePix is the best way to get action on sports in over 30 states, including California, Florida, Georgia, and Texas. PrizePix is the only real money daily fantasy platform with an injury insurance plan. So that if you...

• 45:38Speaker 06

  What?

• 45:39Adam Friedland?

  So if the guy gets hurt, you don't like lose your money. It's funny, like when you're betting or like playing fantasy sports and a guy gets injured, you're like, fuck you, bad, you pussy, yeah. People act that way about sports. Not me, I'm mature and I, I, these are human beings. But, so they have an injury insurance policy so that your lineup stay in even if one of your players gets injured. Uh, if your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return, PrizePix keeps your lineup live. So sign up today and get $50 instantly when you play $5. Uh, you don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed, folks. PrizePix offers weekly promotions that can lead to a big payout. Taco Tuesday, each Tuesday, PrizePix discounts, select player projections,

• 46:22Adam Friedland?

  up to 25% to provide even more value for your lineups. Um, so just think, Justin Jefferson will get more than 83.5 yards next week? Slap it on the over. Lamar Jackson will pass for more than 1.5 TDs? Slap it on the over, guys. PrizePix is the best way to win real money this football season. Which players are gonna go off? Nick, who's gonna go off?

• 46:44Speaker 01

  The players.

• 46:45Adam Friedland?

  Yep, and that's what I was, the players, the players are gonna go off. Um, which ones aren't, Nick?

• 46:52Speaker 01

  The haters.

• 46:53Adam Friedland?

  The haters, the haters.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  The play haters.

• 47:03Adam Friedland?

  The haters. That's, download the app today. Use the code TAFS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game. It's highly encouraged to voice the, oh, it's highly encouraged to voice the following PrizePix tagline, but I just read it. PrizePix, run your game. Can you say it? Nick, you say it?

• 47:26Speaker 01

  PrizePix, run your game.

• 47:28Adam Friedland?

  That's a good one. Can you try it again?

• 47:29Speaker 06

  PrizePix, run your game.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  If you wanna do Goodreads, you gotta do a Steven Dorff impression. PrizePix, run your game.

• 47:36Speaker 06

  That sounded good.

• 47:37Adam Friedland?

  Thank you. All right. All right, uh, now we're back to the show.

• 47:42Speaker 06

  Wow. How's everyone doing?

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Good. We're talking about Steven Dorff.

• 47:47Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, Steven Dorff. Have you seen the film Blade?

• 47:50Speaker 06

  No.

• 47:51Adam Friedland?

  Oh, you gotta check it out.

• 47:52Speaker 06

  I'm gonna check it out.

• 47:53Adam Friedland?

  You gotta check it out.

• 47:54Speaker 06

  I'm probably not gonna check it out.

• 47:56Adam Friedland?

  It's about what if a black guy was a vampire, but also a human being?

• 48:00Speaker 01

  And he bites people and then he goes, "Booyah."

• 48:02Adam Friedland?

  And he goes, "Booyah."

• 48:02Speaker 06

  Booyah.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Booyah is the funny.

• 48:06Speaker 06

  That is a really funny catchphrase.

• 48:08Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, right, especially for-

• 48:09Speaker 01

  Especially in a sexual context. Especially for a black vampire.

• 48:12Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, "Booyah."

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Booyah.

• 48:14Adam Friedland?

  Booyah.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Candyman should've said, "Booyah."

• 48:19Adam Friedland?

  Oh, yeah, totally. That would've worked. We could rework that. We could do AI.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Helen, booyah. Come, come booyah with me, Helen.

• 48:32Adam Friedland?

  Great movie.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  So, so you're getting a lot of heat on this special. I'm sure that the-

• 48:37Speaker 06

  A ton of heat.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Hollywood's calling.

• 48:39Speaker 06

  They are.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, I'm hearing leading lady.

• 48:42Speaker 06

  Leading lady in a vampire movie.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  In a vampire. She's in Titanic 2.

• 48:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  She's playing the boat.

• 48:48Speaker 06

  I'm the boat.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's the boat in Titanic 2.

• 48:51Speaker 06

  And everyone goes down on me.

• 48:51Speaker 01

  The leading lady.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  What?

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

• 48:59Speaker 06

  Is that mean?

• 49:00Speaker 01

  He's saying it's mean, he's whispering at me.

• 49:03Speaker 06

  Oh, no.

• 49:04Adam Friedland?

  It's funny saying that, but I disagree, you're not playing the boat.

• 49:08Speaker 06

  I kinda wish I was.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  You're playing the ocean.

• 49:09Speaker 06

  That's mean, oh, wow.

• 49:12Adam Friedland?

  Sorry, we're in Austin, Texas, right now, we're doing free speech.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:15Adam Friedland?

  No, no, come on, Adrian.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's playing the boat.

• 49:20Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 06

  Let me see who does a better Tony.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 49:23Speaker 06

  Let me see who does a better Tony.

• 49:25Adam Friedland?

  Hinchcliffe?

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:30Adam Friedland?

  Why, why, why you come on my show, do open mic? Is that?

• 49:35Speaker 01

  No, he was, he was more like, oh, I'm thinking Hans Kim.

• 49:39Adam Friedland?

  Talk to her, talk to her.

• 49:40Speaker 06

  Wow, you guys are pretty racist.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  Well, Hans?

• 49:43Adam Friedland?

  No, Tony did racism first.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  I confused Hans Kim and Tony Hinchcliffe.

• 49:47Adam Friedland?

  He did the racism first.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  Which one is like, oh, it's so too many black people. Is that Tony or Hans?

• 49:52Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  It's so too many black people outside. Which one, is it Tony or Hans that does that?

• 49:59Adam Friedland?

  I remember the other day, the shower.

• 50:03Adam Friedland?

  You're just like a Chinese guy, hearing about Black Lives Matter.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Oh, no, a Japanese guy.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  A Japanese guy that finds out about Black Lives Matter.

• 50:16Speaker 06

  And he just laughs?

• 50:17Speaker 01

  No, he's like, oh, Black Lives Matter, you don't say. Oh, you don't say.

• 50:22Adam Friedland?

  That's the whole thing.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  Oh, Black Lives Matter. Oh, Black Lives Matter, you don't say.

• 50:28Adam Friedland?

  That's the entire joke, man.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Oh, you don't say.

• 50:30Adam Friedland?

  That got us good. I guess you're more mature than.

• 50:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 06

  I just think that black lives do matter, you know?

• 50:37Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm. I think, yeah, I was, no.

• 50:40Speaker 06

  No, no, it seems like you guys don't.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  I think family matters.

• 50:43Adam Friedland?

  I think family.

• 50:44Speaker 06

  Family does not matter.

• 50:45Adam Friedland?

  Family guys matter.

• 50:45Speaker 06

  Actually, family does not matter.

• 50:46Adam Friedland?

  Family, family does not matter?

• 50:48Speaker 06

  No.

• 50:48Adam Friedland?

  But you got, what about your four kids?

• 50:50Speaker 06

  They don't matter to me.

• 50:52Adam Friedland?

  Where, where are they right now?

• 50:53Speaker 06

  Who knows?

• 50:54Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 50:54Speaker 06

  Cause they don't matter.

• 50:55Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 50:56Speaker 06

  They're somewhere.

• 50:57Adam Friedland?

  You forgot them.

• 50:58Speaker 06

  They're forgotten.

• 50:59Adam Friedland?

  It was like you forgot like a scarf for a hat.

• 51:01Speaker 06

  Until you brought them up.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  You remember how disappointed you were as a kid when you found out that you couldn't like drive on the rings of Saturn? That it's just rocks?

• 51:09Speaker 06

  I think that was just you.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  I remember being very disappointed to find out that it's just an illusion, that it's not like a road.

• 51:16Adam Friedland?

  Cause the rainbow road, Super Mario Kart.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I would, I had fantasies one day maybe that I could live on the rings of Saturn and they're like, no, it's just dust. It's an illusion, it's not real.

• 51:26Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  I was like, well, fuck.

• 51:29Adam Friedland?

  What was the biggest disappointment of your life, Adrian?

• 51:32Speaker 06

  I think being here.

• 51:33Adam Friedland?

  No, shut up.

• 51:35Speaker 06

  I'm just.

• 51:36Adam Friedland?

  Come on, you're having the time of your life.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Change your lights, Pete, change your lights up.

• 51:38Adam Friedland?

  You're having the time of your life right now.

• 51:39Speaker 06

  I, I mean, I was until you brought up.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Make her look real, let's change the lights.

• 51:43Adam Friedland?

  Well, oh, you're against or for?

• 51:45Speaker 06

  I'm very for it.

• 51:46Adam Friedland?

  Well, you had that website that was, you ran through that guy in India that got fifty, yeah. They got fifty billion dollars, but it was, said that it was for George, but, yeah.

• 51:57Speaker 06

  I kept it all.

• 51:58Adam Friedland?

  So five million dollars from Netflix, what are we doing? Let's, like?

• 52:02Speaker 06

  Well, I want to invest in your show, but I want to make some changes.

• 52:05Adam Friedland?

  What do you want to change?

• 52:06Speaker 06

  I want you guys to look like you care. Like your outfits, your outfits are, his, your outfits are terrible.

• 52:12Adam Friedland?

  I look like Jeff Ross right now, dude, I'm a fifty-six-year-old man dressing like a toddler.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  No, we should go, Nick, we're about to be, we should go leather.

• 52:19Speaker 06

  Do you guys want to be in business with me or not?

• 52:21Adam Friedland?

  Okay, if you, do you think we should go leather?

• 52:23Speaker 06

  Not leather, but just like maybe something that matches, you know?

• 52:27Adam Friedland?

  Well, he's white hoodie on black hoodie, it's kind of like a cowboy.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Spy, spy or spy.

• 52:31Adam Friedland?

  It's kind of like a white hat, a black hat.

• 52:33Speaker 06

  I want you guys to coordinate.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  I thought about, once we got the new lights, I was so excited about this setup, because it took two years to get a gaffer in here to do the lights the way they were supposed to.

• 52:42Speaker 06

  Two years?

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Two years, yeah.

• 52:44Speaker 06

  Why would it take so long?

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Because there was always other shit going on, and it was a fight about, like, he'd say the lights aren't important, and then I said, "Look, just trust me."

• 52:52Speaker 06

  Listen, when I take over, whatever I say goes, you have, you can't say anything.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Because the truth be told, I mean, we did have to, to get the background to light up and be the right color. It's like, we had to buy fifteen new lights.

• 53:03Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 53:03Speaker 06

  I'm gonna probably change that when I come in.

• 53:05Adam Friedland?

  What is your plan?

• 53:07Speaker 06

  You're gonna see, it's gonna be a surprise.

• 53:08Adam Friedland?

  Don't offend his lights, they're gorgeous.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  And look how cool this looks, it's like, it's like a real TV studio.

• 53:12Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:13Speaker 06

  It looks cool, it does look cool, that's true. When I come in here, there's gonna be a strobe light.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, we have a strobe, all of these can be set to strobe. You can pick any one of them, and they can strobe.

• 53:22Adam Friedland?

  Pete, can you strobe it?

• 53:23Speaker 06

  Do you strobe a little bit?

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Not hooked up to DMX, we need, it's, everything's just controlled through the circuit breaker.

• 53:28Adam Friedland?

  Do we have different looks, or just one look right now?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Just one look, yeah.

• 53:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, I want different looks.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  It's not necessary.

• 53:31Adam Friedland?

  We used to have, like, a kind of 824-style look at a certain point.

• 53:35Speaker 06

  I want you guys also in bowling shirts.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Well, we got the lights, and I said, I'm gonna-

• 53:39Adam Friedland?

  I like that, I like that.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  I said, I'm gonna start wearing a suit to the show, but I only have one suit, and I, I don't look good in it anymore, so...

• 53:47Speaker 06

  What happened, that you don't look good in it anymore?

• 53:48Speaker 01

  I kinda, I was vegan for a year, and I started drinking again, so I think I transitioned.

• 53:53Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, he went bowling pin. He was a V, and then he went bowling pin.

• 53:57Speaker 06

  Well, I want you guys bowling shirts.

• 53:59Adam Friedland?

  This guy's body has gone through so many transformations, it's incredible.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  I'm like Christian Bale, instead of, but like, imagine if he didn't act, he was just a guy with bad hygiene.

• 54:08Adam Friedland?

  He, just a guy who doesn't brush his teeth?

• 54:10Speaker 01

  And a mood disorder, yeah.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  It's like, wow, Christian Bale, imagine if he was just like-

• 54:15Adam Friedland?

  A guy who keeps changing his, his facial hair, just to feel different.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Right, he was like a receptionist somewhere, and they're like, "Christian Bale loses a hundred pounds."

• 54:21Speaker 06

  You do look a little bit like Christian Bale, I see that.

• 54:24Speaker 01

  I, everybody's saying I look like everybody.

• 54:26Adam Friedland?

  I see it, I see it.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Can I just look like Jeff Ross? That's what I want.

• 54:29Speaker 06

  Your outfit does, yes.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  Thank you, good, I wanna get a grill.

• 54:33Speaker 06

  No, no, no, bowling shirts.

• 54:35Adam Friedland?

  It would be really dope if Trump added Rose Master General to, like, the cabinet or something.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:40Adam Friedland?

  You know, with all these wacky pics.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:42Adam Friedland?

  You got Jeff Ross.

• 54:43Speaker 06

  Do you think he wears wacky pics or pigs?

• 54:45Speaker 01

  Pics, pics. You should make Jeff Ross the ambassador to China, and he can just go over there and be like, "This guy looks like, uh, this guy."

• 54:56Speaker 01

  This guy looks like this guy and this guy had a baby. They're like, "Oh, he's right." "Oh, he's so good," they're saying, "Well, two guys are right."

• 55:04Adam Friedland?

  He read that. He really read that.

• 55:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:08Adam Friedland?

  Man, yeah. So you voted for Trump, or no? Or did?

• 55:12Speaker 06

  I voted for him six times.

• 55:13Adam Friedland?

  Really? I got yelled at.

• 55:15Speaker 06

  For voting for Trump?

• 55:16Adam Friedland?

  No, into Kamala. I yelled, she yelled at me.

• 55:18Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 55:19Adam Friedland?

  She peeped, and then I erased it.

• 55:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, she, uh, I don't think she got the black vote.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  I think she overwhelmingly got it. It's just that there was less of them.

• 55:30Speaker 06

  I don't think she got a lot.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 55:31Speaker 06

  I think there's a lot of black Trump, a lot of black people voted for Trump.

• 55:34Adam Friedland?

  I think they're blaming Latinos. Which is funny, Trump ran from blaming Latinos, and the Democrats lost, and then blamed Latinos.

• 55:40Speaker 06

  Everyone just wants to blame Latinos.

• 55:42Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. It's Mexicans' fault.

• 55:46Adam Friedland?

  I can't even believe it, because like, Democrats had the respect to call them Latinx, and that, they didn't...

• 55:52Speaker 06

  What's the difference between Latinx and Latinos?

• 55:54Adam Friedland?

  It's like gay Mexican.

• 55:56Speaker 06

  Oh, the X makes you gay. X don't give it to you.

• 55:59Adam Friedland?

  Queer.

• 55:59Speaker 06

  Isn't that DMX, though? X don't give it to you?

• 56:01Speaker 01

  The Latinx ones, they have like metal skeletons and claws.

• 56:04Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:04Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 56:05Adam Friedland?

  They're kind of a cyberpunk version.

• 56:06Speaker 06

  They sound kind of cool, actually.

• 56:08Adam Friedland?

  I think so, too.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Some of them have laser eyes, uh, when they touch.

• 56:12Speaker 06

  That's helpful.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  One of them's handicapped, but he can control things with his mind.

• 56:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  And he's sort of the leader of the Latinx.

• 56:18Adam Friedland?

  It's similar to Professor X, but, but they, there was a lawsuit, and they, they claim it's not. Yeah.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  One of them is named Beast, and he looks just like Beast from X-Men, but it's actually, it's actually someone's wife.

• 56:33Adam Friedland?

  It's like that meme with Peter Griffin, it's like, "Everyone know who's someone who looked like this?"

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:38Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, it's like him with like a Mexican girl's haircut.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:43Adam Friedland?

  Oh, it's a good meme, you should check it out.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 56:45Adam Friedland?

  Nick sent it to me one day, and I was taking a poop, and I literally started scream laughing.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  There's one named Magneto, he's covered in drywall screws.

• 56:53Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  They're just stuck to his body.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  It would be cool seeing Magneto. His name's Magneto. He's like wearing like a Looney Tunes denim jacket.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  With blue bear pants on.

• 57:13Adam Friedland?

  Lowrider. Yeah.

• 57:17Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 57:19Adam Friedland?

  Sorry.

• 57:20Speaker 06

  It's okay.

• 57:20Adam Friedland?

  Are you mad at us right now?

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Hey Magneto!

• 57:22Speaker 06

  No, no, I love you guys.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  Hey Magneto! Magneto!

• 57:25Speaker 06

  I'm just taking in what I'm signing up for.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Oh Magneto!

• 57:28Adam Friedland?

  Home Depot.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Home Depot, Home Depot Magneto.

• 57:31Speaker 06

  Home Depot.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Home Depot. I have to go see Home Depot Magneto. He's very mad at me.

• 57:39Speaker 06

  Did you pretty good Hispanic voice.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  I hope he does not use a medal on me.

• 57:44Adam Friedland?

  He's so scary.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Magneto is so mad. I hope he does not use a medal on me.

• 57:49Adam Friedland?

  He found out he can control medals in the Holocaust.

• 57:52Speaker 06

  That's very scary.

• 57:54Adam Friedland?

  And also I think the actor is scary. It's true. No.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  That's kind of the subtext of X-Men, that Hitler was kind of right because he was trying to kill Magneto.

• 58:07Adam Friedland?

  I don't know about that.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  Well, Magneto's a bad guy.

• 58:09Adam Friedland?

  It is kind of, it's confusing for me.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  Now, now look what's happening.

• 58:12Adam Friedland?

  It is confusing for me.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  This boy was already in the jail.

• 58:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, we had, we had him.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. We had him. We captured Magneto a hundred years ago.

• 58:20Adam Friedland?

  We almost got him.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Hitler went back in time to stop Magneto.

• 58:25Adam Friedland?

  Oh, okay.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:26Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 06

  See, again, you're using Hitler and not Stalin.

• 58:30Adam Friedland?

  Hitler, because Magneto was in Auschwitz. Stalin didn't do that.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Back to the initial point, who did Stalin kill?

• 58:35Speaker 06

  Everyone.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Name one.

• 58:37Adam Friedland?

  They died in war and he had no idea.

• 58:39Speaker 06

  Drake Terrace.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Drake Terrace?

• 58:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  From Degrassi?

• 58:43Speaker 06

  No.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 58:44Adam Friedland?

  Who's Drake Terrace?

• 58:46Speaker 06

  You never heard of him?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  The hotline bling?

• 58:49Speaker 06

  No, the guy that invented, um...

• 58:50Speaker 01

  It's like a name a con man comes up with.

• 58:52Adam Friedland?

  Drake Terrace.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Where he's trying to get like $200 out of a laundromat.

• 58:55Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, is that a chase bank?

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Yes, my name is Drake Terrace.

• 58:57Speaker 06

  This guy was killed. Now you're just making fun of him.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  I dropped off my suit here a week ago.

• 59:01Adam Friedland?

  How did he die?

• 59:01Speaker 01

  You've lost it. It's Drake Terrace. Check again. Well, that was a $5,000 suit.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Drake Terrace.

• 59:09Speaker 06

  Drake Terrace is a great name.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  I will accept twenty-five dollars in cash for this malfeasance. Thank you very much.

• 59:16Adam Friedland?

  And I won't be doing my business here any longer.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Baby, it's time to hit the scratch offs. It's, it's pay dirt. Twenty-five bucks from the laundromat. Drake Terrace strikes again.

• 59:27Speaker 06

  Drake Terrace is a great name.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:29Speaker 06

  I think you're just jealous.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  I'm not je- what am I jealous of?

• 59:32Speaker 06

  It's a great name.

• 59:34Adam Friedland?

  This dead guy from Russia?

• 59:36Speaker 06

  He's not from Russia.

• 59:37Adam Friedland?

  I thought you said Stalin killed him.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  My fake, I have the best fake name in the world, better than Drake Terrace.

• 59:41Speaker 06

  What is it?

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Orlando Bloom.

• 59:44Speaker 06

  Not as good.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  It's, I think Orlando Bloom might be the best fake name.

• 59:49Adam Friedland?

  It's crazy for a white guy, too.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 59:52Speaker 06

  Orlando?

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Or Orlando Bloom? Yeah, that's my name.

• 59:58Speaker 06

  You kinda look like him, too.

• 1:00:00Adam Friedland?

  He does.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  That's what I mean, I'm just a white guy.

• 1:00:02Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  I look like all of them.

• 1:00:04Speaker 06

  You look like a lot of whites.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Teddy Roosevelt, Stalin, fucking MLK Junior.

• 1:00:09Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:09Speaker 06

  Junior Junior.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Orlando Bloom.

• 1:00:13Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. Kobe Bryant.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. And then the black version would be Jacksonville Flower.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  I'm the black. I'm the black Orlando Bloom Jacksonville Flower.

• 1:00:29Adam Friedland?

  I'm, I'm Tampa Flores.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. I told Dan Soder, it was a couple of years ago. Dan's from Aurora, Colorado. That's the town he's from.

• 1:00:38Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  I saw a headline out of Aurora, Colorado.

• 1:00:40Adam Friedland?

  Tragedy.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  And, uh, it was about a murder. These two guys murdered somebody and the headline was Aurora Cousins indicted on murder. It was two black guys, but they only had a picture of one of the black guys. So I thought it was a black guy named Aurora Cousins.

• 1:00:53Speaker 06

  That's actually a good name.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  And it took me a while to figure it out. It's like the two were, I'm like, what do you mean the two? There's Aurora Cousins and who's the other guy?

• 1:01:04Speaker 06

  I like that.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. A little tidbit.

• 1:01:07Speaker 06

  Why do they only have one guy, though? The picture of only one guy?

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  I don't know. Cause they're like, yeah, these guys look the same. The other guy looks like him, too.

• 1:01:14Speaker 06

  They're cousins.

• 1:01:16Adam Friedland?

  Practically twins.

• 1:01:20Adam Friedland?

  I saw these, um, on Instagram, there are these two guys who look like twins. But both of their parents were identical twins. Who've all got married to each other. And they're technically cousins. But they looked exactly the same because both their parents, yeah. It was one, a guy identical twin, married a girl identical twin, and then his brother married her sister. And then they were born like, uh, like a week apart, but they look exactly like the same guy.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  I mean, that makes sense.

• 1:01:48Adam Friedland?

  It kinda makes sense, right?

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, that's not, I don't understand why that's news, even.

• 1:01:52Adam Friedland?

  It's not news. It was an Instagram reel of two Mexican guys that look the same.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  Well, it's news. Instagram is the news these days. That's where I get my news.

• 1:01:58Speaker 06

  Do they have kids?

• 1:02:00Adam Friedland?

  The two guys? The scientists are working on it.

• 1:02:03Speaker 06

  Oh, wait, I thought you said it was a guy that married his girl cousin.

• 1:02:05Adam Friedland?

  No, no, no, two sets of twins, two guys, two girls, both had kids.

• 1:02:10Speaker 06

  One guy, one girl, one guy, one girl.

• 1:02:11Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, and then their kids just looked exactly the same.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  When I was at COPS this weekend, at one of the shows, there was two guys that came up to me and they were twins. You know, and I was like, oh, that's interesting, you're twins, ha ha. And then, like, ten minutes later, another, there were two sets of twins at the show. And that's, what is that called? Clustering?

• 1:02:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, a mega, a super clus- what is it called?

• 1:02:33Speaker 06

  Where is the school?

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  The school?

• 1:02:36Speaker 06

  You said you did a college gig, right?

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  No, no, I did COPS.

• 1:02:38Speaker 06

  Oh, they said college gig.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  I said San Francisco, and your brain probably turned that into college, cause you hate those college liberals.

• 1:02:44Adam Friedland?

  You don't like those, yeah.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 06

  I am a college liberal, I'm still in college.

• 1:02:48Adam Friedland?

  Where are you going?

• 1:02:49Speaker 06

  San Francisco.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Phoenix.

• 1:02:50Adam Friedland?

  Oh, SF, SFU?

• 1:02:53Speaker 06

  SFU.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Phoenix Online.

• 1:02:54Adam Friedland?

  Are you in a, you're a sorority, too?

• 1:02:56Speaker 06

  No, I'm not in a sorority, I can't, I can't do it.

• 1:02:58Adam Friedland?

  You can't do it?

• 1:02:59Speaker 06

  I'm sober.

• 1:03:00Adam Friedland?

  Really? There's a big expectation of drinking.

• 1:03:02Speaker 06

  I know, so that's why I can't get into it again, you know?

• 1:03:05Adam Friedland?

  Really? But why don't you join, like, the nerd one?

• 1:03:09Speaker 06

  I mean, I guess I could.

• 1:03:10Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10Speaker 06

  But don't they still drink?

• 1:03:12Adam Friedland?

  Um, yeah, but there's less pressure on them, you know, they kind of celebrate their differences.

• 1:03:17Speaker 06

  I'm good in the back, okay, instead of like forcing you to drink.

• 1:03:19Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, they'll be like, we celebrate that difference in you, you know. There's just one where they're like, all the leftovers go.

• 1:03:26Speaker 06

  Gotcha, okay.

• 1:03:27Adam Friedland?

  There's a film called The House Bunny with Anna Faris. I learned all about it there because she gets kicked out of Playboy Mansion then goes to a college because she has nowhere to live and then joins the nerd girl sorority.

• 1:03:39Speaker 06

  I mean, I'm gonna look at all this stuff when I go there.

• 1:03:42Adam Friedland?

  It's a great film. It's a Happy Madison.

• 1:03:43Speaker 06

  Okay, yeah, I'm gonna check it out.

• 1:03:45Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, go ahead and check it out. And to all the viewers, check that out.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Should I get into online college, but then I'm trying?

• 1:03:50Speaker 06

  Do you wanna go to college with me?

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  I wanna do online college and I wanna try and get like an animal house going in the chat room. Where I'm like, guys, let's play pranks on the professor, dude. I'm gonna DM him child porn. And I'm like, guys, it's college.

• 1:04:03Speaker 06

  They'll think that's hilarious, actually, yeah.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  Guys, it's fucking college, let's play pranks.

• 1:04:06Adam Friedland?

  The dean is always busting our balls.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, let's fucking send it, let's hack his-

• 1:04:09Speaker 06

  Get the dean to lighten up.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's send his account stuff and play pranks.

• 1:04:13Adam Friedland?

  Let's order 500 pieces to his house.

• 1:04:15Speaker 06

  Send a child to his house, he'll fuck it.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  Dude, it's Animal House at Phoenix University.

• 1:04:20Adam Friedland?

  Let's go to the girls and do a panty raid.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Let's hack into the girl's computer and jack off to them when they don't know their cameras are on. Like Animal House.

• 1:04:28Adam Friedland?

  Like Porky's.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Phoenix on a, yeah.

• 1:04:30Speaker 06

  You're gonna need that gun, I gotta be honest.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  For what? Hunting women?

• 1:04:34Speaker 06

  You're gonna get shot, for sure.

• 1:04:35Adam Friedland?

  It's just like a 65-year-old man, like, you know, like a guy that just learned English, like an immigrant.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:04:41Adam Friedland?

  It's a cool squad.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Indian guy on online college, I keep calling him Booger.

• 1:04:45Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  That's your nickname, brother?

• 1:04:47Adam Friedland?

  You're Booger.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  Don't you fuck call me that. Yeah. I don't want to be Booger.

• 1:04:53Adam Friedland?

  Why I, why am I Booger?

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Hey man, I finally watched Revenge of the Nerds, Booger is the one that is cool.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  He has leather jacket.

• 1:05:01Adam Friedland?

  He's actually cool. He has Elvis aesthetic. I love the king.

• 1:05:07Adam Friedland?

  Anyway, so, um, so we could check out your special once again on Netflix.

• 1:05:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Adam Friedland?

  It's called The Dark Queen.

• 1:05:14Speaker 06

  Yep, five million dollars.

• 1:05:16Adam Friedland?

  Five million dollars?

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  What's the inspiration for that name?

• 1:05:19Speaker 06

  Um, Ari kind of gave it to me because I just kind of talk about dark topics, I guess, or my approach to life. I like wearing black.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  A little Ari Shafir bon mot.

• 1:05:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  He shaved half his head. It looks kind of cool.

• 1:05:33Speaker 06

  Well, it's gone now. Now it's just all one length, his head and his face, so.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:05:39Speaker 06

  But for a while, yeah, he was just half.

• 1:05:42Adam Friedland?

  Half, uh, oh, yeah, yeah, half, half.

• 1:05:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, now it's just all one length.

• 1:05:46Adam Friedland?

  He's a great guy. Shout out to Ari Shafir.

• 1:05:49Speaker 06

  Ari Shafir is great, yeah.

• 1:05:50Adam Friedland?

  One of the best in the biz. Shout out to Adrian.

• 1:05:52Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 1:05:52Adam Friedland?

  One of the best in the biz.

• 1:05:53Speaker 06

  Shout out to Louis. Louis directed it.

• 1:05:54Adam Friedland?

  Shout out to Louis CK, one of the best in the biz.

• 1:05:57Speaker 06

  You guys are the best in the biz, too.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:06:00Adam Friedland?

  No.

• 1:06:01Speaker 06

  You're not, but I just wanted you to feel good.

• 1:06:03Adam Friedland?

  No, we feel terrible.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  That's not making me feel good, lying to me?

• 1:06:05Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:06Speaker 06

  But I wasn't gonna lie.

• 1:06:07Adam Friedland?

  What are you, what are you giving us?

• 1:06:08Speaker 06

  I was being pretty, I was being pretty sincere.

• 1:06:10Adam Friedland?

  You said Louis and then you said us and then you wanted participation trophy?

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  I'm friends with Louis, by the way, so I don't even have to fucking be there.

• 1:06:16Adam Friedland?

  She's friends with Louis.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Anyway, it's a great, great podcast.

• 1:06:17Adam Friedland?

  We don't have any friends and everyone hates us. Everyone hates us.

• 1:06:20Speaker 06

  I was gonna, I was gonna revamp the show for you guys.

• 1:06:22Adam Friedland?

  We're the least popular guys in the world and everyone hates us.

• 1:06:26Adam Friedland?

  Anyway, guys, thanks for joining us today. It's been a great podcast. Thank you, Adrian.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  Thank you very much.

• 1:06:30Speaker 06

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  And let's keep it going for Pete.

• 1:06:31Adam Friedland?

  Let's keep it going for Pete.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  For bringing me the replacement microphone and the lights, they look amazing.

• 1:06:35Adam Friedland?

  Let's give it up for the set.

• 1:06:36Speaker 06

  You gave me that Pete gave me this water.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  You gotta see yourself on these fucking, on the monitor.

• 1:06:40Adam Friedland?

  You are going to look incredible.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  You're gonna say I've never, I've never been, I finally found my light here.

• 1:06:46Speaker 06

  I can't wait.

• 1:06:46Adam Friedland?

  I, is that Megan Pong? No, it's me. All right. Thanks a lot, guys. Bye.

• 1:07:01Speaker 00

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• 1:07:22Speaker 02

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• 1:07:35Speaker 03

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