Jocko Underground: Attention-Seeking Behavior | Is This All There is To Life?

Attention-seeking behavior. Quitting a good stable job to follow passion. Seeming depressed for no reason. Feeling of needing more in life. Abuse at BUDS. Prep for the Ukraine Military. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jocko Willink?

  This is the Jocko Underground Podcast, number 76, sitting here with EC, Echo Charles, Echo Charles. Attention-seeking behavior. This is like, good things to know and understand. I was checking out a website about this called verywellmind.com.

• 0:22Jocko Willink?

  A lot of people want and like attention. Look, do you get some people that are just shy and just want to blend in? Yo, they exist. There's not a lot of them, to be honest with you. But you remember those kids in high school? I'd always be friends with those kids in high school, like they didn't want to talk to anybody or whatever. They're kind of real shy. But there's some people, there are very few.

• 0:43Jocko Willink?

  Most people kind of want that attention. Sometimes it's caused by low self-esteem, sometimes it's caused by loneliness, sometimes it's caused by jealousy. This website said, "Little kids do it," and that's not, it's not unhealthy for little kids to want some attention. Right? You don't have to worry about it. They're kind of, they're kind of growing and seeing what the boundaries are in the world, so that's cool. There's some actual disorders.

• 1:11Jocko Willink?

  Histrionic personality disorder, this is under the cluster of dramatic personality disorders. These are people that crave attention. They're fixated on their appearance, they're emotional, they're dramatic, they need constant validation.

• 1:26Jocko Willink?

  There's borderline personality disorder. This is another dramatic personality disorder. And this is the people that think everyone's out to get them, and they're in unstable relationships, and they have low self-esteem, and they have low self-image, and they have intense bursts of anger, and they might even harm themselves, they have impulsive behavior. So these are all things that fall into this attention seeker. And there's also narcissistic personality disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder, and intermittent explosive disorder. So there's a bunch of legitimate psychological problems that people can have

• 2:07Jocko Willink?

  that is an extreme version of seeking attention.

• 2:13Jocko Willink?

  But I'm, I don't want, maybe we'll cover that at some point, but that's not what I, that's not what, why I was thinking about this. I was thinking about it for just normal people. And actually wanting to get attention seeking under control for normal people. And there was just an interesting list on, on this website. That

• 2:38Jocko Willink?

  I thought it would be smart to cover because I think it is a good thing to know and understand to make sure that you can keep them in mind so that if we, if I am attention seeking, I know what, I know what I'm doing and then I can stop doing it. Because here's the thing about this, when you're seeking attention, everybody knows it. That's the, that's the, there's a scary horrible thing about being a person is when you're not aware of what's happening. You're not aware of what you're doing and most horrible is when you think other people can't see what you're doing. That to me is one of the worst disorders.

• 3:19Jocko Willink?

  Just general disorders. You know, the person that thinks they're getting away with something and they're not, they think they're gonna say something. They, you, you always like to use the example of name dropping. Cause it's, you know, something that people do. And no, they think that no one notices that you just dropped the name, but everybody sees it and everybody thinks the same thing. Oh, you're name dropping, trying to impress me with something stupid. So it's good that you bring that up because that's something that anybody could think you need to do, right? You think you need to do it. You don't need to do it and everybody knows when you do it. So here's some of these things that they

• 3:56Jocko Willink?

  put on this list, posting excessively on social media, vying for likes and comments.

• 4:04Jocko Willink?

  Interesting, right? Gotta watch out for that one. If you find yourself like constantly wanting to just get on there. Hey, this seems like a really good post. Oh, I'll do this.

• 4:19Jocko Willink?

  Making comments online and in person that seem calculated to make people feel uncomfortable. That was a little weird for me. I didn't quite understand that one. Maybe it's because making people feel uncomfortable makes that people pay attention to you.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:36Jocko Willink?

  This one's obvious bragging about material wealth, physical appearances and personnel, personal successes.

• 4:46Jocko Willink?

  And that's one, there's nothing worse.

• 4:51Jocko Willink?

  You know what I mean? And man, how much of social media, there's like a legitimate, if you put a pie chart of social media and one of the slices of pie was bragging about material wealth, bragging about physical appearance and bragging about personal success. There would be a, there would be at least a slice of pie.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  Yes, sir.

• 5:14Jocko Willink?

  Maybe even a big piece.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  I believe that, yes.

• 5:16Jocko Willink?

  Quarter?

• 5:18Jocko Willink?

  Quarter.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  I wouldn't be surprised, but then again, that could be just skewed with the people I follow. Cause in my experience, I would say, yeah, quarter, cool.

• 5:25Jocko Willink?

  Quarter.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Seem, right?

• 5:27Jocko Willink?

  Is there any way to post a picture of you and your freaking car? Your new car? That, and it's an expensive car. Real nice, a luxury car. Is there any way to post a picture of your luxury car? And not fall into this category?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  That's a good, that's a good, doesn't it kind of seem though, like, almost like, it depends on the person's personality, cause like, and actually, is there a difference between

• 5:58Speaker 01

  sharing your happiness with your followers, like, you know, like, most people aren't influencers. They're just normal people.

• 6:07Jocko Willink?

  You know what's a huge line on this? Is it really your car?

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, so okay.

• 6:13Jocko Willink?

  There's like a whole realm of people. Cause there's people that have badass cars and they love cars and they're like, yeah, I just got this badass car. And I don't even, I don't even consider that to be bragging or whatever. I, I consider it to be, oh, this dude loves cars.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  That's what I was saying.

• 6:27Jocko Willink?

  And they're stoked.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Just like, you know, when someone graduates, um, college or high school or,

• 6:32Jocko Willink?

  Yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  or gets their online degree, whatever. Like they're just so happy. They, they're sharing it with their people. You know, their friends, really. They're not influencers, you know, and that's the most people. They don't have, they're not influencers. This is normal people. So it depends on that guy's person or that person's personality. They get a new car. It's like, oh my God, you know how you, I don't know. You see this where it's like, oh, my daughter finally turned 16 and got her driver's license. Like, are they bragging? Cause everybody gets a driver's license. It's just happy. They're not bragging. They're just happy. You know what I'm saying? So they, it could be that. Most of the time though, kind of like how you kind of hinted there, like you could smell it all.

• 7:04Jocko Willink?

  Yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  You could see what they're doing.

• 7:06Jocko Willink?

  If you rented a car and you're photographing it.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's different, bro.

• 7:10Jocko Willink?

  That's kind of, that's kind of not.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  That's like another level. That's bragging about personal success or accomplishment at the same time, lying about it.

• 7:19Jocko Willink?

  Yeah. So watch out for this one.

• 7:23Jocko Willink?

  Cause you might be generally genuinely stoked about something.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:27Jocko Willink?

  You might be kind of bragging.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:29Jocko Willink?

  And you gotta be careful. Just make sure, man. Just, just pay attention to it.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:33Jocko Willink?

  Yeah. I'm trying to think of what I've posted. If I've posted something that's been, what have I posted?

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Okay. So then again, again, I don't know. I can't read your mind, but this is, and this, actually I shouldn't even say it because I don't want to come off like I'm accusing people who have done this of doing this. But you know how like, you know, you write books. So if it does good on Amazon, you post like, oh my gosh, thank you. And you say, thank you guys for this and all. But, or is there a little, little sprinkle of that bragging that you got that best seller? You know, like, I don't, the thing is, I don't know, but. As far as actions go, that's one of them. That's one of the actions. I don't know your mindset. So I don't know if that that really is that, but that's one of the actions for sure.

• 8:12Jocko Willink?

  Yeah, that's a definite one like, hey, just made it best seller list again.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, or thank you guys for a hundred thousand subscribers.

• 8:22Jocko Willink?

  So these are humble brags. These are kind of humble brags, right?

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Yes, same. All brags though. But and then again, I don't know because there is a very specific difference between someone sharing their happiness about something, whether they accomplish it or something like it's not bragging. They're sharing their happiness, you know, to like their people. It depends, man. It's hard. It's hard to differentiate.

• 8:41Jocko Willink?

  And that's the thing with this is I think you will know.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:45Jocko Willink?

  You know what I'm saying? You will know what you're doing.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  And like I like I said, you could a lot of times, I don't know, but a lot of times it feels like you could kind of smell it on them. Or if someone else does it, you can be like, I see what you're doing. Cool. Congratulations. But I do see that you're bragging or if it if it's genuine, usually there's some pattern of, you know, genuineness or whatever. So you're like, oh, you know, like, congratulations, your daughter got her license or whatever, you know?

• 9:10Jocko Willink?

  Or you got a sick car. Good.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 9:13Jocko Willink?

  Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. That's a sick car.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:15Jocko Willink?

  Got a sick guitar.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:20Jocko Willink?

  Freak out in the hunting world, right? In the hunting world, people freak out about that.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  About what?

• 9:24Jocko Willink?

  Like posting pictures of.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Their kill.

• 9:27Jocko Willink?

  Yep.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Is is that bragging usually? I feel I feel like that's legit bragging. Fuck, yeah, you went out. Because a lot of times you don't catch nothing, right?

• 9:37Jocko Willink?

  A lot of times, yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I so my younger brother, Yata, he uh he's a spearfisher. Yeah, he was really good. He probably caught this 70 pound fish one time. I forget what kind. Huge. He was like legendary stuff. Anyway. And so anyway, I he he would post stuff that he catches lobsters, like all this stuff and just, you know, just like in his little community of other guys who do that. I I never saw that as like bragging about personal success. It's more like, yeah, like it's almost like it's a legitimate brag where you should be bragging. You know, like that's the whole reason you go out. You got some success. Freaking post that shit. That's what it feels like.

• 10:13Jocko Willink?

  So let's just be careful.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:15Jocko Willink?

  Okay, we'll walk away with that. Let's be careful about material wealth, physical appearances and personal success.

• 10:22Jocko Willink?

  Just be careful. It's a warning, right? It's be cognizant.

• 10:28Jocko Willink?

  Let's say you do it, but you all of a sudden it becomes habitual. Right? Like you're doing it all the time and maybe you're doing it. Reading the comments, right? So just be careful of it. Next one is acting like everything that happens is a that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to JacoUnderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms. So we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko Podcast, which will remain as is free for all, as long as we can keep it that way.

• 11:09Jocko Willink?

  But we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors. And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us.

• 11:22Jocko Willink?

  And to do that, we are, we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you. It's JacoUnderground.com. It costs $8.18 a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email [email protected] and we'll get you taken care of. Until then, we will see you mobilized underground.