Holocaust Survivor On Forgiveness, Healing Your Past & Living A Happy Life EP 1354

Using her own past as a Holocaust survivor and thriver as a powerful analogy, Dr. Edith Eger inspires people to tap their full potential and shape their very best destinies. Dr. Eger is a sought-after clinical psychologist and lecturer, helping individuals discard their limitations, discover their powers of self-renewal, and achieve things they previously thought unattainable. Be sure to check out Dr. Eger’s two books, The Choice, a New York Times bestseller, and her most recent release, The Gift. Dr. Eger recently launched her first online course, Unlocking Your Potential, a 10-module, video-based workshop. In this episode you will learn, How to rewrite new beginnings from past experiences. The difference between revenge & forgiveness. How to become a good parent to yourself. The secret to living a long, healthy, and happy life. For more, go to lewishowes.com/1354Listen to Dr. Eger’s previous episode on The School of Greatness below! Healing, Forgiveness & Finding Freedom: https://link.chtbl.com/1010-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Edith Eger?

  So I had to go back to Auschwitz. To that lion's den and look at the lion in her face to reclaim my innocence, to assign the shame and guilt to the perpetrator.

• 0:15Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:39Lewis Howes?

  Well, what would you like people to know about you? And how would you want to be remembered?

• 0:42Edith Eger?

  I like to be known as someone who did everything in her power,

• 0:48Edith Eger?

  everything, to see to it that it will never happen again.

• 0:54Edith Eger?

  I'm into prevention. I don't ask why me. I say what now?

• 1:02Edith Eger?

  Why is a past-oriented world, a problem-oriented world? I like to deal with the present

• 1:11Edith Eger?

  and think young. So when a man takes me out and is trying to figure out how old am I, I'm going to ask him to take me home. Because if he's into numbers, he's not my man.

• 1:28Lewis Howes?

  What should he be into?

• 1:30Edith Eger?

  I think he would be interested in, perhaps, what really gives me joy?

• 1:39Lewis Howes?

  What is that?

• 1:41Edith Eger?

  Joy in my heart. Like, I have joy knowing that I have three children, I have five grandchildren, and seven great-grandsons.

• 1:56Lewis Howes?

  All sons, great-grandsons?

• 1:58Edith Eger?

  All sons, no, no grandsons. Yeah, so I think it's good to really know that many people ask me, "Write a book, write a book, write a book." And I would say automatically, "I have nothing to say." "I have nothing to say." I have a lot to say.

• 2:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 2:22Edith Eger?

  And so do you.

• 2:23Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:24Edith Eger?

  And you're committed to really change the people who don't think that they matter.

• 2:34Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:35Edith Eger?

  Because there'll never be another you.

• 2:37Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 2:38Edith Eger?

  You're one of a kind, diamond. I see it in your eyes, you know? You're very precious.

• 2:46Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 2:46Edith Eger?

  You're very, very precious. And I know many people probably have changed because they knew that what they're doing now, they are revolving, not evolving.

• 3:01Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. What does that mean, revolving, not evolving?

• 3:04Edith Eger?

  Revolving, that you go back and do the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

• 3:11Lewis Howes?

  Right, repeating the same pattern.

• 3:12Edith Eger?

  Which is the definition of insanity. Someone said that.

• 3:17Lewis Howes?

  It's at Einstein, I think, right?

• 3:18Edith Eger?

  I think it was Einstein.

• 3:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I'm curious. Now, you have seven grandsons, right?

• 3:25Edith Eger?

  Right.

• 3:26Lewis Howes?

  Seven grandsons. I think, are the two twins, the two-year-olds, are those the youngest grandsons you have?

• 3:31Edith Eger?

  The youngest, yeah.

• 3:32Lewis Howes?

  So there's ninety-three years-ish between you and your youngest grandsons.

• 3:38Edith Eger?

  Exactly. And they come with their head because they know I'm gonna kiss it.

• 3:44Lewis Howes?

  I love that, it's beautiful.

• 3:45Edith Eger?

  So they just come and bring their little head.

• 3:47Lewis Howes?

  Bring it and you kiss it.

• 3:48Edith Eger?

  And I, I don't know, there are people who kiss their heads.

• 3:52Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. That's great.

• 3:53Edith Eger?

  But I do.

• 3:54Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, what is the, you know, they, at this moment, they don't know the type of life you've had, right? Not until they're a little older will they understand the stories and hear the stories about your whole experience from what, you know, their great-grandmother went through and how you overcame so many challenges and obstacles and how you became a member of society for hope and inspiration. I'm curious. If you could share three lessons with them to set them up for their life, what would those three lessons be?

• 4:31Edith Eger?

  I probably would tell them that I will never forget what happened. I don't know what it means to overcome.

• 4:48Edith Eger?

  I don't think I... I don't know exactly what that means, but I came to terms with it.

• 4:57Edith Eger?

  I call it my cherished wound.

• 4:59Lewis Howes?

  Cherished wound?

• 5:00Edith Eger?

  Yes. I cherish the wound

• 5:07Edith Eger?

  that I learned in the classroom of Auschwitz.

• 5:12Lewis Howes?

  How does someone learn to cherish their wounds with something that's so tragic and so traumatic?

• 5:18Edith Eger?

  You don't appreciate what you have until we lose it.

• 5:22Edith Eger?

  See, if you take me out to dinner, and you might do that, take me out to lunch,

• 5:32Edith Eger?

  I think I'm gonna eat up my food, and then I'm gonna pick up your leftovers. And if I don't do that, I'll take it home. I never waste any food. I never leave food on my plate or in your plate. I do something with it, and I give it away. You know...

• 6:02Lewis Howes?

  Why do you do that?

• 6:03Edith Eger?

  One time, I had a party, and I had a lot of leftovers. And I went out, and I I saw someone at the corner waiting, and I gave them the food.

• 6:15Lewis Howes?

  Why is that something you do?

• 6:17Edith Eger?

  I told you, no, they must be hungry. But they didn't want food, they wanted money.

• 6:24Edith Eger?

  So they threw it back at me. "I don't want your goddamn food. Give me money."

• 6:31Lewis Howes?

  Right. What's another thing you'd share with your grandkids, your great-grandkids?

• 6:37Edith Eger?

  Well, right now, they're too young to listen to anything, but...

• 6:45Edith Eger?

  My great grandson are fifteen, twelve, and ten. And they're very interested in grammar. And I'm a very interesting person to be with. I have a lot to say. And not what happens, it's what you do with it.

• 7:11Lewis Howes?

  Right. I think the coming to terms with the cherished wound, it's like creating meaning around what happened, right?

• 7:18Edith Eger?

  Exactly, the existential vacuum. Viktor Frankl used to refer to that. And it's very important to know that it's not clinical depression.

• 7:30Lewis Howes?

  Why do people get that confused?

• 7:31Edith Eger?

  Yeah, well, I had two paraplegics, both coming from Vietnam. Same symptomatologist, same diagnosis. Okay. And one of them was in a kind of a fetal position. Why me? How could anyone do this to me? Blaming God, blaming, you name it, the country, of course. Conversely, the other one said to me, same symptomatologist, same diagnosis, same prognosis. He said to me, "Hey, doc." I was wearing a white coat. And it said, "Dr. Iger, Department of Psychiatry." Okay.

• 8:16Edith Eger?

  He says, "Hey, doc. I'm so grateful that I sit in a wheelchair because I can reach my children much closer."

• 8:27Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 8:29Edith Eger?

  Can you believe it? And I can reach the flowers much closer. And I felt like the biggest imposter because I had a sixteen-year-old in me that I ran away from. I really wasn't qualified to take them further because I have not taken myself. You know, I went to school, and I went to school. And, you know, I became Dr. Edith Iger. But I never really did the work and...

• 9:04Lewis Howes?

  Really? The healing work?

• 9:05Edith Eger?

  So I went back to Auschwitz.

• 9:07Lewis Howes?

  When did you go back?

• 9:08Edith Eger?

  I asked my sister to come with me.

• 9:15Edith Eger?

  Probably in the seventies or eighties. And she told me I'm an idiot. And that was the end of that. My sister coming with me. And I went alone. And today the work I do to revisit the places where you've been. To relive that experience. But then you revise your life.

• 9:37Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. Relive the experience and then revise your life.

• 9:41Edith Eger?

  Exactly.

• 9:42Lewis Howes?

  Rewrite the story.

• 9:43Edith Eger?

  It's not going back. It's a new beginning.

• 9:46Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow. So when you went there, what opened up for you? What did you feel a lot of sadness and pain? Or is that where you started to rewrite it?

• 9:54Edith Eger?

  I was angry. And I didn't know what to do with anger. I ran from it. But I was angry. I was mad as hell. And I had to find a way to turn depression into expression.

• 10:16Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. What happens if we continue to run from anger in our lives?

• 10:21Edith Eger?

  We just build it up. It doesn't go away.

• 10:25Lewis Howes?

  You can't run away from it.

• 10:27Edith Eger?

  You cannot run away. It's better to face it. Not fight it. Or run from it. No. So I did go back to Auschwitz. And today the work I do. That, yes, I hold your hand. And we revisit your little room. Your little home. The hallway. And you're holding my hand. I'm taking you out of there.

• 10:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 10:56Edith Eger?

  Because that was then. And this is now. And you can find that little boy in you. The little girl in you. And buy him an ice cream cone. And because that little boy is crying.

• 11:12Lewis Howes?

  What happens if we never revisit the little boy or girl inside of us?

• 11:16Edith Eger?

  We have unresolved grief.

• 11:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 11:19Edith Eger?

  And I think that's what therapy is. It's all grief work. Not what happened. What didn't happen.

• 11:25Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:26Edith Eger?

  Because I remember when my granddaughter asked me to buy her a beautiful dress. Which I am very good at.

• 11:35Lewis Howes?

  Uh-huh.

• 11:35Edith Eger?

  Buying good dresses.

• 11:38Edith Eger?

  So she could go to bishop's school to a dance. And I come home and out of the blue, I'm crying. The world understand, I didn't understand, what's the matter with me? I just bought little precious Lindsay, a beautiful dress, I think it was a Laura Ashley original.

• 12:05Edith Eger?

  But I realized that I'm not crying because Lindsay is going to the dance. I cried because I never went to a dance.

• 12:14Edith Eger?

  So I think the unresolved grief is important to make peace with.

• 12:23Lewis Howes?

  So when something like that happened for you, or happens in any of our lives, what can we do to face it? And I have a photo on my phone of myself when I was younger, right?

• 12:34Edith Eger?

  And that little boy.

• 12:36Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, to go back into those places that were wounded and have a conversation and I talk to him and I reflect.

• 12:44Edith Eger?

  Let him feel the feeling, rather than talk about the feeling.

• 12:48Lewis Howes?

  Let him feel it.

• 12:49Edith Eger?

  What we do in America, we're hearing but we're not listening. It's very good to repeat what you hear and they tell you whether it's true or false. I think it's very important to write your book.

• 13:11Lewis Howes?

  So you said anger is something that...

• 13:15Edith Eger?

  Not the primary emotion.

• 13:16Lewis Howes?

  It's not the primary, so when someone feels anger, what is it they really feel?

• 13:21Edith Eger?

  Fear.

• 13:22Lewis Howes?

  Afraid of what?

• 13:26Edith Eger?

  Fear of being found out.

• 13:31Edith Eger?

  That your true self.

• 13:33Lewis Howes?

  Is it fear of being found out your true self is not lovable or not enough? Or you're never gonna amount to anything? Or is never going to, no, it's gonna accept you?

• 13:44Edith Eger?

  That you're a fake.

• 13:45Lewis Howes?

  Oh wow. Do you think everyone feels that way at some point in life?

• 13:49Edith Eger?

  I think it's very seldom that a person never regrets anything.

• 13:59Edith Eger?

  I think it's important to acknowledge that you say to yourself, if I knew them, what I know now, I could have done things differently.

• 14:12Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 14:12Edith Eger?

  And that's it, that's the end of that.

• 14:14Lewis Howes?

  That's it?

• 14:15Edith Eger?

  That's it.

• 14:16Lewis Howes?

  But why do we hold on to the pain so long? And why do we shame ourselves and beat ourselves up emotionally? Because we didn't have the knowledge when we were five, or 10, or 16, or 20.

• 14:27Edith Eger?

  Maybe we didn't have good role models. That it's okay to feel any feelings without the fear of being judged. There is no right feeling or wrong feeling. There is only my feeling.

• 14:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:41Edith Eger?

  And underneath of anger is fear. So it's very good to ride on all your fears, from the least anxiety-producing to the most anxiety. And then we knock them down. Because you were not born with fear. You were born with love, joy,

• 15:02Edith Eger?

  and passion for life.

• 15:05Lewis Howes?

  I love that you say this, because I feel like...

• 15:08Edith Eger?

  I'm full of passion.

• 15:09Lewis Howes?

  You are. You're feisty. You're feisty. I like it.

• 15:12Edith Eger?

  Yes, sir.

• 15:14Lewis Howes?

  I love this idea of writing down your fears and then knocking them down.

• 15:17Edith Eger?

  Knock them down because you were not born with them. You learned it.

• 15:23Lewis Howes?

  When did you start to knock down your fears?

• 15:28Lewis Howes?

  How old were you roughly?

• 15:29Edith Eger?

  I think I was 16 in Auschwitz. And I developed inside something that I cherish today. My inner resources, that I don't look at life from outside in.

• 15:49Edith Eger?

  And I give up my need for other people's approval.

• 15:53Lewis Howes?

  You did that when you were sixteen?

• 15:55Edith Eger?

  I did that.

• 15:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You gave up your need for other people's approval then?

• 15:59Edith Eger?

  Exactly.

• 15:59Lewis Howes?

  What does that do for you when you give up the need?

• 16:03Edith Eger?

  It gave me my true self.

• 16:06Lewis Howes?

  Your authentic, expressive self.

• 16:08Edith Eger?

  That I am my own good mommy to me.

• 16:12Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 16:13Edith Eger?

  And then I ask, is this empowering me or depleting me?

• 16:20Edith Eger?

  If I'm gonna have alcohol, I'm messing with my brain.

• 16:25Lewis Howes?

  So you're not gonna do something to try to look good in front of others? And try to make others like you?

• 16:32Edith Eger?

  What the neighbors think about us, yes.

• 16:34Lewis Howes?

  Right. Wow.

• 16:37Edith Eger?

  I think very important for children, especially for the father, to be a good role model to the children, the way he treats the children's mother, his wife.

• 16:53Lewis Howes?

  How should the father treat the mother?

• 16:57Edith Eger?

  Never raise your voice. When you're angry in English, you start the sentence with "you."

• 17:06Edith Eger?

  "You are stupid. You." When you hear "you," you're gonna be dumped on. And you say to yourself, "The longer they talk, the more relaxed I become." You take the negative stimuli, turn it immediately into something positive. I think there is a Mexican psychiatrist who wrote a little book that is very valuable. And it's called "The Four."

• 17:36Lewis Howes?

  Agreements. So good. Don't take anything personally.

• 17:39Edith Eger?

  Don't take it personally.

• 17:41Lewis Howes?

  It's so powerful. How does someone learn to not take it personally? If someone's saying, "You did this, and you're stupid, and you're..." How do you learn to just be peaceful around it?

• 17:50Edith Eger?

  I know better.

• 17:53Edith Eger?

  That's what you think. And this is what I feel. And man, I'm not that. To feel the feelings. They talk about the feeling, they analyze the feeling.

• 18:09Edith Eger?

  They medicate the feeling, rather than just feeling the feeling.

• 18:16Edith Eger?

  A good cry, what comes out of your body will never make you ill, what stays in there does. Like pus, you know, you have to.

• 18:28Lewis Howes?

  Get it out.

• 18:28Edith Eger?

  Get it out.

• 18:29Lewis Howes?

  Get it out. So that's how.

• 18:31Edith Eger?

  Scream it out.

• 18:32Lewis Howes?

  Scream it out.

• 18:32Edith Eger?

  In the car.

• 18:34Lewis Howes?

  In a pillow.

• 18:35Edith Eger?

  Scream.

• 18:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Edith Eger?

  Cry, and then laugh like a hyena, and you feel better.

• 18:41Lewis Howes?

  Laugh like a hyena?

• 18:42Edith Eger?

  Yeah.

• 18:44Lewis Howes?

  Get it out, shake it out. How should, you know, a wife be around her husband with her kids?

• 18:53Edith Eger?

  So what is happening, the husband comes home, and the wife already knows, just by looking at him, that there is something going on. But she doesn't say anything, because he doesn't say anything either, because he's scared. If he's gonna say something, things are gonna get worse.

• 19:14Lewis Howes?

  She's scared.

• 19:15Edith Eger?

  She's scared, they're both scared, but they don't really sit down, which I do, really, to make them really see what's really going on.

• 19:31Edith Eger?

  But down the line, if they don't do that, they will miss passion in life, for sure.

• 19:42Edith Eger?

  I don't know what else right now to think of. Passion, joy, joy and passion, for sure.

• 19:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:50Edith Eger?

  So if you want joy and passion, have a fight.

• 19:56Edith Eger?

  But pay attention how you finish a fight.

• 19:59Lewis Howes?

  How should you finish the fight?

• 20:00Edith Eger?

  That's right, that you can agree to disagree. That not I'm right, you're wrong. I'm good, you're bad. None of that.

• 20:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:09Edith Eger?

  We're human. We do make mistakes. And we have a good talk about it and hopefully learn from it. So we won't repeat it.

• 20:19Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. And you worked with Viktor Frankl too, right? Didn't you work with him?

• 20:24Edith Eger?

  I worked with Viktor Frankl very much. I remember we were in Germany and we danced together.

• 20:32Lewis Howes?

  You danced together?

• 20:32Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 20:34Lewis Howes?

  Was he a good dancer?

• 20:34Edith Eger?

  And then he said something, is this the last tango? I think it was Regensburg or one of those places. Where we had our conference.

• 20:48Edith Eger?

  Viktor Frankl was like you, a kind of a Renaissance man. He was taking flying lessons. When I met him, he was in his 70s.

• 21:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 21:04Edith Eger?

  He died when he was 92. But he was truly my mentor.

• 21:13Lewis Howes?

  What was your biggest lessons from him that he taught you?

• 21:18Edith Eger?

  The logo therapy. Logo means finding purpose and meaning in your life. It's called the existential vacuum. That most people are called clinical depression.

• 21:34Lewis Howes?

  What, is clinical depression a thing? Or is there a way to get out of it without medication?

• 21:40Edith Eger?

  Yeah, well, we pathologize. We pathologize too much.

• 21:47Edith Eger?

  I think it's, it's very good to.

• 21:53Edith Eger?

  Make the diagnosis that doesn't have to pathologize like I'm sad, I'm scared. You know, to use the language that it doesn't have to go to diagnosis and medical. Medicine is important, you know. We have our blood and that needs to be hopefully valid, tended to.

• 22:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:25Edith Eger?

  We have our environment, but the way you respond to the other two, I have a choice. To respond or react. When you react, you don't think.

• 22:41Lewis Howes?

  How does someone learn how to pause when there's an event, when there's a trigger?

• 22:47Edith Eger?

  Take a deep breath, and if that doesn't work, take another deep breath.

• 22:51Lewis Howes?

  Keep breathing until you react.

• 22:54Edith Eger?

  Because you cannot change what's outside of you.

• 23:00Lewis Howes?

  The environment, the event, what occurs?

• 23:03Edith Eger?

  You really are very powerless.

• 23:07Edith Eger?

  But you have power the way you choose to take the negative and turn it into positive. Because suffering makes you stronger. Suffering is part of life.

• 23:23Lewis Howes?

  Is there a way to minimize suffering in our lives?

• 23:28Edith Eger?

  You learn from history, so you won't repeat it.

• 23:35Edith Eger?

  That's why it's good to write a book. Write a book. People told me for years, "Write a book, write a book." And I would say, "I have nothing to say, I have nothing to say." But then Philip Zimbardo one morning calls me and says, "You know, Edie, the people who survived

• 23:59Edith Eger?

  and are famous, are all men. We need a female voice."

• 24:09Edith Eger?

  And that's my book, The Choice.

• 24:11Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 24:12Edith Eger?

  A female voice of Viktor Frankl.

• 24:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow, it's beautiful. You mentioned, I want to ask you about the fears again. Writing down a list of your fears and then knocking them down. What happens internally when we start to knock these fears down?

• 24:30Edith Eger?

  You replace it with something else. See, when you're in a car and you have to switch gears, you know, it talks to you, the car. So what you need to do is switch gears and release the clutch. What are you holding on to? My definition of love is the ability to let go. Let go. Don't live in the past. You cannot change the past. That's one thing you cannot change, is the past.

• 25:15Edith Eger?

  I don't live in the past. I don't forget it or overcome it. That's why I call it my cherished wound. Because part of me was left in Auschwitz. But not the better part, not the bigger part.

• 25:33Lewis Howes?

  How do you reclaim that part from that?

• 25:36Edith Eger?

  You go back to that place. And you can do it in your office with a Gestalt chair. Put them in that chair, tie them up, and beat them up.

• 25:48Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 25:49Edith Eger?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:52Edith Eger?

  How could you do this to me? I was only eight years old, you know, and you get it out. Scream it out and beat them up.

• 26:02Lewis Howes?

  If we don't get that emotion out, then we're the ones that suffer, right?

• 26:07Edith Eger?

  Yeah, because forgiveness has nothing to do with me forgiving you for what you did to me. I don't have any godly power at all. But I do have a power to look at everything that happened into an opportunity for an opportunity. And that was Auschwitz, the biggest classroom, the most important one I have gone to.

• 26:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:37Lewis Howes?

  So, do we need to forgive the person that created the pain? Do we need to forgive ourselves? What is harder?

• 26:46Edith Eger?

  I think we create

• 26:52Edith Eger?

  a time when I give you, myself, permission. That's a very good word. Give myself permission

• 27:04Edith Eger?

  to let go

• 27:07Edith Eger?

  of the pain

• 27:10Edith Eger?

  and replace it with self-love, which is self-care, which is not narcissistic.

• 27:19Edith Eger?

  Love yourself is not narcissistic.

• 27:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, so give yourself, give myself permission to let go of the pain from the past.

• 27:26Edith Eger?

  Permission is a key word.

• 27:30Lewis Howes?

  And then replace it with self-love.

• 27:32Edith Eger?

  You know, if I could meet Dr. Mangala now, I really wanted to meet him. And I found out where he was, but I never really ended up meeting him in person. He went to South America. Most of the Nazis went through the the Roman Catholics.

• 27:58Edith Eger?

  Somehow helped them to go through them to go to South America.

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What would you have said to him? If you could have met him, what would you have said to him?

• 28:12Edith Eger?

  I would probably tell him, I have no idea what I would have done if I would have been in your shoes. You must have felt very powerful, sending my mother to the gas chamber.

• 28:28Edith Eger?

  Because he asked me, "Is this your sister or is this your mother?" I still wanna cry, but now that stupidly I said it's my mother, because I could not forgive myself that if I would have said my sister, she would have gone to the gas chamber.

• 28:53Edith Eger?

  But then I had to.

• 28:58Edith Eger?

  Recognize that I did what I could.

• 29:04Lewis Howes?

  No, you did the best.

• 29:06Edith Eger?

  And I did the best I could.

• 29:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:08Edith Eger?

  So forgiving yourself and not to judge yourself. You got to, you got to really, truly do the work.

• 29:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's powerful. I'm curious.

• 29:23Edith Eger?

  Suffering is make you stronger.

• 29:28Lewis Howes?

  How much?

• 29:29Edith Eger?

  Don't ask for it.

• 29:31Lewis Howes?

  I don't want suffering.

• 29:32Edith Eger?

  Please.

• 29:34Lewis Howes?

  You don't, you don't need to ask for it.

• 29:35Edith Eger?

  It's not a must, no.

• 29:36Lewis Howes?

  No, no, no, but it makes you stronger.

• 29:37Edith Eger?

  But if it happens, recognize that it's temporary.

• 29:41Lewis Howes?

  Yes, yes.

• 29:42Edith Eger?

  And you can survive it. So you become your own good parent.

• 29:47Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 29:48Edith Eger?

  Are you a good parent to you?

• 29:50Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh, now I am, yeah. After a lot of the healing work.

• 29:54Edith Eger?

  Yeah.

• 29:54Lewis Howes?

  Now I'm a very good parent to myself, yeah. I feel a lot of peace inside.

• 29:58Edith Eger?

  Well, you're a role model.

• 30:00Lewis Howes?

  But I didn't feel that for years, yeah.

• 30:01Edith Eger?

  You say what you live.

• 30:03Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 30:07Edith Eger?

  That's good.

• 30:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's a constant journey, you know?

• 30:10Edith Eger?

  Congratulations.

• 30:11Lewis Howes?

  Thank you, thank you. But a lot of your, you know, the first time I interviewed you, I was really inspired by how you shared so much wisdom about how to not take things personally and how to reinterpret when someone's saying something to you. Just say, "Ah, well, I actually..." You're saying the opposite to yourself of like how you love yourself and how you're generous and kind. So I really appreciate that.

• 30:31Edith Eger?

  You know, just a very simple question. Whatever you're doing now, you ask, how's it working for you?

• 30:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Edith Eger?

  Is it empowering you or depleting you?

• 30:43Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. And I'm curious about potential. You know, the potential that each one of us has as human beings.

• 30:50Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 30:51Lewis Howes?

  How much of our potential is limited or blocked or shut down if we do not learn to heal the different traumatic moments of our life? Can we still reach our potential if we don't face trauma? Or is it gonna be limited?

• 31:09Edith Eger?

  I think we're gonna be chronic victims. And every time you are a victim, you're gonna find the victimizer. Or you fluctuate between victim, becoming victimizer.

• 31:25Edith Eger?

  And it's very important to

• 31:31Edith Eger?

  think about what you're gonna say before you say it. Whether it's important, whether it's necessary, and whether it's kind. If it's not kind...

• 31:46Lewis Howes?

  Is it important, is it necessary, is it kind?

• 31:49Edith Eger?

  It's kind.

• 31:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 31:51Edith Eger?

  If it's not kind, you're just not gonna say it.

• 31:54Lewis Howes?

  Don't say it. How do we

• 31:59Lewis Howes?

  create a life where we don't become victims? Where we are empowered, no matter what happens? Even if there is a, something that occurs in life, an event that feels like we are a victim, how do we turn it so that we aren't a victim? Because I feel like being a victim is disempowering.

• 32:19Edith Eger?

  You cannot be a victim without a victimizer. If you're a victim, you're always gonna find a victimizer. Or you fracture it between victimizer. Because victims are weak, and victimizer's are strong. So part of the psyche will identify with the aggressor. That's what we call a Stockholm syndrome.

• 32:46Lewis Howes?

  Is there moments in life where we should be victims? Or is it never a good time to be a victim?

• 32:52Edith Eger?

  I think

• 32:56Edith Eger?

  I

• 32:58Lewis Howes?

  Does anything good come from it?

• 32:59Edith Eger?

  I never see myself that my identity would be being a victim. I have no room for that in my life. I'm not a victim, I was victimized. It's not who I am, it's what was done to me. Very different.

• 33:20Edith Eger?

  Very different.

• 33:24Edith Eger?

  That I'm innocent.

• 33:27Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 33:29Edith Eger?

  Because yesterday's victims can easily become today's victimizers.

• 33:35Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm, that's true.

• 33:37Edith Eger?

  I'm sure you know a great deal about that.

• 33:40Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:42Edith Eger?

  Tell me.

• 33:44Lewis Howes?

  Well, I mean, I was, I don't know if you know this, but I was sexually abused when I was five years old by a man that I didn't know, a babysitter's son. And he was probably sixteen, seventeen. And I've talked about this many times on my show, but for twenty-five years, I was angry about it. I held on to the anger, the frustration, you know, and I wanted to get back at people. And I wanted to, and I always felt like there was an abuse happening to me, like people were abusing me in life. That was kind of the wound that I didn't heal. And when I started the healing journey ten years ago, I really allowed myself to let that go and forgive myself and forgive.

• 34:26Edith Eger?

  Go through the rage?

• 34:27Lewis Howes?

  All of it, yeah. I mean, it was a process.

• 34:29Edith Eger?

  You cannot forgive without going through the rage.

• 34:33Lewis Howes?

  Oh, I went through it, yeah. And, um, and when I thought about it, I was like, okay, well, maybe this child, maybe this...

• 34:43Edith Eger?

  If you go to therapy, ask your therapist to sit on you.

• 34:48Lewis Howes?

  To sit on me?

• 34:49Edith Eger?

  Yeah, and don't let you get up.

• 34:53Lewis Howes?

  Uh-huh.

• 34:53Edith Eger?

  You have to fight your way up and...

• 34:58Lewis Howes?

  Get them off of you.

• 34:58Edith Eger?

  Give it to him, you know, but good, yeah. To get that thing.

• 35:04Lewis Howes?

  Get it out, yeah.

• 35:05Edith Eger?

  There is a difference between revenge and forgiveness.

• 35:10Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 35:11Edith Eger?

  Revenge gives you a satisfaction.

• 35:16Lewis Howes?

  Momentarily.

• 35:17Edith Eger?

  Very momentarily, beautifully said. Forgiveness gives you freedom.

• 35:25Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:27Edith Eger?

  So I had to go back to Auschwitz. To that lion's den and look at the lion in her face to reclaim my innocence to assign the shame and guilt to the perpetrator.

• 35:41Lewis Howes?

  Not on yourself.

• 35:42Edith Eger?

  No.

• 35:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:44Edith Eger?

  No more. I'm free.

• 35:47Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Did you feel free from that moment forward? Or did you have to go back a few times and really let it out more?

• 35:57Edith Eger?

  I think it's a lifelong process.

• 36:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Edith Eger?

  Really, I didn't have to go back to Auschwitz.

• 36:03Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:04Edith Eger?

  No, not at all, I.

• 36:09Edith Eger?

  One of the things I was asked by physicians, which was interesting, have I ever saw birds in Auschwitz?

• 36:19Lewis Howes?

  Ever saw birds?

• 36:21Edith Eger?

  I never saw birds in Auschwitz.

• 36:24Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 36:25Edith Eger?

  I guess the smell. Birds are probably pick up the terrible smell.

• 36:31Lewis Howes?

  Wow. How long were you there for again? Do you remember?

• 36:36Edith Eger?

  I was there from May until December.

• 36:39Lewis Howes?

  That's a long time.

• 36:41Edith Eger?

  Yes. You know, my daughter called me from Auschwitz and she said, "I'm wearing a fur coat. I'm wearing boots and I'm freezing. What did you do, Mom?"

• 36:54Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 36:56Edith Eger?

  I said, "I didn't have any boots. I didn't have any fur coat. I had a little flimsy little something." And I did what I needed to do.

• 37:11Lewis Howes?

  How did you keep your spirit strong enough to survive that?

• 37:14Edith Eger?

  That it's temporary.

• 37:16Lewis Howes?

  You told yourself this is temporary?

• 37:18Edith Eger?

  I don't like it. It's inconvenient. And don't say but. And it's temporary. Because after all, it is temporary.

• 37:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:31Edith Eger?

  I don't know where we're going from here.

• 37:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 37:36Edith Eger?

  Maybe I'm gonna meet my mom and... You see what I miss? That I never had a mother-daughter talk.

• 37:50Lewis Howes?

  You mean after that?

• 37:52Edith Eger?

  Well, when you get married, you talk to your mother about sex, about money, about in-laws. God knows what else.

• 38:01Lewis Howes?

  You didn't have any of those conversations?

• 38:02Edith Eger?

  Any of those conversations I didn't have.

• 38:05Lewis Howes?

  What do you wish your mom would have told you?

• 38:09Edith Eger?

  It's just for me not to fake anything, to be my true self.

• 38:18Edith Eger?

  You know, my mother told me that

• 38:22Edith Eger?

  I'm glad you have brains because you have no looks. You know that. And so I became a very erudite person. I had my own book club. I read The Interpretation of Dreams by Freud when I was 14. Yeah, very different. And nowadays, children are

• 38:51Edith Eger?

  are not really

• 38:56Edith Eger?

  as curious. I was always very curious. What's gonna happen next? Where I'm gonna go from here? Yeah, very curious. And I think the curiosity helped me to survive.

• 39:14Lewis Howes?

  Wow, the curiosity.

• 39:16Edith Eger?

  The curiosity.

• 39:18Lewis Howes?

  Well, I'm glad I'm a curious person then. You know, I'm always asking questions and very curious.

• 39:23Edith Eger?

  Wonderful. Sometimes you're Jewish. You know, you ask a question and you answer it with a question. How are you? How do you think I am?

• 39:36Lewis Howes?

  I like that. So, something happened this weekend and you were contemplating whether you wanted to come here.

• 39:43Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 39:44Lewis Howes?

  And we got a message yesterday that you weren't gonna come, but then you did wanna come.

• 39:49Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 39:50Lewis Howes?

  And I'm so sorry for your loss about your sister

• 39:53Edith Eger?

  Thank you.

• 39:54Lewis Howes?

  from this weekend.

• 39:55Edith Eger?

  Thank you.

• 39:56Lewis Howes?

  And I wanna know why you wanted to come here after your sister's passing this weekend?

• 40:05Edith Eger?

  To bring you my true self.

• 40:11Edith Eger?

  That I'm grieving and feeling and healing.

• 40:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Edith Eger?

  My sister is with me, the spirit never dies.

• 40:24Edith Eger?

  And I hope I'll be happy in my dead bed. And I'm not gonna ask what the world has given me. But you and I are going to probably ask, how can I contribute to the world that makes us human beings getting together and see how we can empower each other with our differences? You can be you and I can be I.

• 40:59Edith Eger?

  And just empower each other. You do it your way, I do it my way.

• 41:07Lewis Howes?

  When we think about the perspective of what will the world give me versus what can I bring to the world and to humanity?

• 41:16Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 41:18Lewis Howes?

  Why do some people think, what will the world give me? And what is the trap behind thinking that way? Versus how can I be of service to the world?

• 41:28Edith Eger?

  Well, there are givers and takers. And

• 41:34Edith Eger?

  hopefully, I am a giver. And I will do less blaming and pushing myself for more and more and more. You know, I just do the best I can, and that's good enough.

• 41:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:55Edith Eger?

  Good enough is good enough.

• 41:57Lewis Howes?

  Have you been blaming for a while?

• 42:00Edith Eger?

  I have been maybe rough on myself that I could do more than I'm doing. But I am forgiving myself that I could give and do the best I can do. I do get up in the morning and I look at life as one day. The morning sunshine will not come back. And and I'm very comfortable at 95, hoping maybe that...

• 42:34Edith Eger?

  I do what's humanly possible.

• 42:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Edith Eger?

  And then hand it over to God.

• 42:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow, it's beautiful.

• 42:42Lewis Howes?

  I've got a few more questions I want to ask you. But I wanted to ask the biggest lessons that your sister taught you. Because you both experienced a very tragic event for many months together. You both, you know, learned to heal and you came together. And you've, you know, you've had a great experiences with her. Would have been the, would have been the biggest lessons that she taught you. Because she was your older sister, correct?

• 43:11Edith Eger?

  My older sister.

• 43:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Edith Eger?

  I was the youngest in the family.

• 43:16Lewis Howes?

  The most charming, right, in the family?

• 43:21Edith Eger?

  I, uh...

• 43:24Edith Eger?

  I think my parents really wanted a son after two girls. And I came along. And that was not what they wanted.

• 43:33Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:34Edith Eger?

  And I felt it. Um, Magda

• 43:44Edith Eger?

  was a very good survivor.

• 43:47Edith Eger?

  She was full of jokes.

• 43:52Edith Eger?

  We always talked about food.

• 43:55Edith Eger?

  That's all we talked about. Food. I think

• 44:03Edith Eger?

  she stopped really living.

• 44:08Edith Eger?

  And, uh...

• 44:11Edith Eger?

  It's been now perhaps

• 44:19Edith Eger?

  many, many months. Or maybe years.

• 44:24Edith Eger?

  That she gave up her piano. She gave up her piano lessons. And she gave up bridge. She was a bridge player. I think she played with Omar Sharif, but I cannot guarantee.

• 44:45Edith Eger?

  But Magda has been extremely brilliant with numbers. So what she did in school, she did your homework, but she didn't want your money. She wants you to bring her food. A roast beef sandwich, or god knows, fried chicken.

• 45:13Edith Eger?

  Fried chicken was always very good. My mother brewed little chickens, and it was so delicious.

• 45:23Edith Eger?

  Or Hungarian salami.

• 45:27Edith Eger?

  Have you been to Hungary?

• 45:29Lewis Howes?

  I haven't been. No, I've been to Poland and other places in Europe, but no, not Hungary.

• 45:35Edith Eger?

  To Hungary?

• 45:36Lewis Howes?

  I'll have to go.

• 45:36Edith Eger?

  Yeah. I think the Hungarians are good survivors as a rule.

• 45:49Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing you're holding?

• 45:51Edith Eger?

  There is a song in Hungary.

• 45:54Edith Eger?

  That the woman is best when she's beaten up.

• 46:01Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 46:01Edith Eger?

  It's not very kind.

• 46:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's not kind.

• 46:04Edith Eger?

  Yeah.

• 46:05Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 46:06Edith Eger?

  Yeah, well, Hungarian women learned how to deal with men and give them compliments, even when they don't deserve it.

• 46:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 46:18Edith Eger?

  So women are wise, not smart, but wise. How to go through the man's stomach and make him the food that he likes. Like.

• 46:34Edith Eger?

  A certain roast beef that you make, Hungarian style.

• 46:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 46:41Edith Eger?

  Or the chicken with a lot of paprika on it and garlic on it. I make, I make a very good garlic chicken.

• 46:49Lewis Howes?

  Mmm, you do, right now.

• 46:51Edith Eger?

  I make it.

• 46:52Lewis Howes?

  Next time, next time I'm in San Diego, I'm gonna get some of your chicken.

• 46:55Edith Eger?

  Tell me, and I will, I'll.

• 46:57Lewis Howes?

  I'm there for the chicken.

• 46:59Edith Eger?

  I'll do, I'll do the.

• 47:01Lewis Howes?

  The chicken, the chicken and a dance with you.

• 47:03Edith Eger?

  Okay.

• 47:04Lewis Howes?

  Yes, a salsa, yeah.

• 47:06Edith Eger?

  It's a deal.

• 47:07Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is the thing you hold in your heart dearest about your sister? The thing you'll, you'll take with you?

• 47:13Edith Eger?

  Her humor.

• 47:14Lewis Howes?

  Her humor, yeah.

• 47:15Edith Eger?

  Her humor.

• 47:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:19Edith Eger?

  She had a lot of humor, a lot of humor about

• 47:28Edith Eger?

  men and women.

• 47:32Edith Eger?

  I didn't have at all. And I don't have that kind of sense of humor.

• 47:38Lewis Howes?

  You've got a great sense of humor.

• 47:40Edith Eger?

  I?

• 47:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:41Edith Eger?

  I do what?

• 47:42Lewis Howes?

  Different.

• 47:43Edith Eger?

  Different.

• 47:43Lewis Howes?

  Yes. I have a question about your, your, your secret to living a long, healthy life. And with experiencing pain, tragedy, trauma, loss, sadness, you, you continue to thrive in your life.

• 48:01Edith Eger?

  See, when you were touched inappropriately,

• 48:08Edith Eger?

  you probably would have come to me and say, Edie, I don't know how to tell you that because you went to Auschwitz. And my answer would be, I knew the enemy. You didn't.

• 48:26Edith Eger?

  Don't minimize it.

• 48:29Edith Eger?

  You have the right to be angry.

• 48:32Edith Eger?

  But not to hold on to it or live by it. You gotta go through the rage and scream it out.

• 48:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:42Edith Eger?

  But don't get addicted to it. Don't do anything in excess.

• 48:47Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

• 48:49Edith Eger?

  Drinking, smoking.

• 48:51Lewis Howes?

  Right. Raging, yeah.

• 48:54Edith Eger?

  Raging.

• 48:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:56Edith Eger?

  Rage is fear.

• 48:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:00Edith Eger?

  Fear.

• 49:02Edith Eger?

  And the biggest fear of a child is the fear of abandonment.

• 49:07Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:10Edith Eger?

  That is important.

• 49:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:15Edith Eger?

  Especially in midlife.

• 49:19Edith Eger?

  That is not a crisis, but a transition.

• 49:25Edith Eger?

  You don't have your periods anymore, but you know, who wants to have babies anyway? No problem.

• 49:34Edith Eger?

  But I work with midlife issues a lot on a daily basis.

• 49:43Edith Eger?

  And it's a new beginning.

• 49:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:46Edith Eger?

  It's a new beginning.

• 49:49Edith Eger?

  You become older and wiser.

• 49:51Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:52Edith Eger?

  Not old and senile.

• 49:53Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 49:55Edith Eger?

  So you're gonna write another book?

• 49:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, working on another book, which has a lot of teachings about healing in the book as well. So, and overcoming that. But that's, that's part of the vision. But I'm curious for you, though, what do you feel like has been one of the keys to living a long, healthy life? And with challenges and tragedies?

• 50:18Edith Eger?

  Not to lie to yourself. And not to, and not to try to please other people.

• 50:26Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:27Edith Eger?

  Give up the need for approval of others. I think that's number one.

• 50:36Edith Eger?

  If you like me, fine. If you don't, that's okay. It doesn't mean I was rejected.

• 50:44Edith Eger?

  Rejection is an English word that people make up to express a feeling when you don't get what you want. Give up the drama.

• 50:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:57Edith Eger?

  No one can reject me but me.

• 51:01Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 51:03Edith Eger?

  Don't say I was rejected. Nobody has any power.

• 51:09Lewis Howes?

  But you can reject yourself.

• 51:11Edith Eger?

  You can.

• 51:12Lewis Howes?

  And that's the biggest betrayal. If you do it to yourself.

• 51:15Edith Eger?

  You better have a talk with yourself.

• 51:20Edith Eger?

  Find that little boy who is still crying

• 51:24Edith Eger?

  and looking for a good, loving parent.

• 51:27Lewis Howes?

  Yes, yes.

• 51:30Edith Eger?

  And be a good mommy to you.

• 51:34Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you've done-

• 51:35Edith Eger?

  Eat your spinach.

• 51:38Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you've been a good parent to yourself over the years?

• 51:43Edith Eger?

  I could have been better.

• 51:48Edith Eger?

  But there are two questions that are important. Number one, when did your childhood end?

• 51:59Edith Eger?

  If you're a child of an immigrant, you end up taking care of your parents.

• 52:04Lewis Howes?

  You never had a childhood.

• 52:06Edith Eger?

  You never had a childhood. Very important. The second question is, would you like to be married to you?

• 52:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's a good one.

• 52:19Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 52:19Lewis Howes?

  You gotta reflect.

• 52:20Edith Eger?

  Ask people to ask themselves.

• 52:22Lewis Howes?

  What do people say, usually?

• 52:24Edith Eger?

  No, no, no, no.

• 52:29Edith Eger?

  It's up to you. Who do you attract?

• 52:32Lewis Howes?

  That's true. That's true. Is there anything else you'd like to share today? Anything else that's opening up for you that you want to talk about?

• 52:44Edith Eger?

  My 95th birthday party was...

• 52:47Lewis Howes?

  When is it? Was recently?

• 52:50Edith Eger?

  Was a couple of weeks ago.

• 52:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 52:52Edith Eger?

  I was... Thank you.

• 52:54Lewis Howes?

  95.

• 52:55Edith Eger?

  Thank you.

• 52:56Lewis Howes?

  Feeling alive, 95?

• 52:58Edith Eger?

  Feeling young.

• 52:59Lewis Howes?

  Feeling young?

• 53:00Edith Eger?

  Young.

• 53:01Lewis Howes?

  Energetic, passionate?

• 53:03Edith Eger?

  That's right, dancing.

• 53:06Edith Eger?

  And celebrating.

• 53:09Edith Eger?

  So the question is, how can you turn life into a constant celebration?

• 53:14Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. Mmm, I love that. How do you do that?

• 53:19Edith Eger?

  Every moment is precious.

• 53:25Edith Eger?

  Never throw out a piece of bread.

• 53:31Edith Eger?

  Only buy what you eat.

• 53:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:36Edith Eger?

  Cook for yourself. Don't go to a restaurant so much.

• 53:40Lewis Howes?

  Mmm.

• 53:42Edith Eger?

  Because it has a lot of salt and a lot of sugar.

• 53:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Tastes so good, though.

• 53:50Edith Eger?

  Cook, cook.

• 53:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:52Edith Eger?

  Cook for yourself.

• 53:53Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:55Edith Eger?

  And enjoy.

• 53:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:58Edith Eger?

  Every moment in life.

• 54:02Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 54:03Edith Eger?

  Don't procrastinate. And get rid of perfectionism.

• 54:08Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:10Lewis Howes?

  I love those.

• 54:11Edith Eger?

  Yeah, you're human. You're gonna make mistakes. That's fine.

• 54:16Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. You've got a couple of amazing books. The Choice and The Gift, which I'm a big fan of. And I know for years you said you didn't have anything to write about, but those books are incredible. I highly recommend people getting them. Oprah loved them as well and, you know, shared them out and talked to you about those. It's really impacted a lot of people in life. So I really appreciate and acknowledge you for how you continue to thrive, how you continue to serve and give back to so many of us in our lives. So I really appreciate and acknowledge you.

• 54:51Edith Eger?

  Thank you.

• 54:52Lewis Howes?

  Dr. Edith, for your service and your wisdom, your joy. I want people to get your books. We'll have it all linked up for people, but you also have a course, which is really inspiring as well.

• 55:06Edith Eger?

  Yes, we have a wonderful course, and I think we have now about 2,000 people who signed up. But I think it's very important, hopefully for me, to write a book for teenagers.

• 55:23Lewis Howes?

  Are you going to be doing that now?

• 55:24Edith Eger?

  I would like to do that. I'd like to really see that teenagers can become ambassadors.

• 55:35Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 55:36Edith Eger?

  Ambassadors for peace.

• 55:39Lewis Howes?

  Teens of the Future.

• 55:40Edith Eger?

  And goodwill.

• 55:42Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh, yeah.

• 55:43Edith Eger?

  I think we need to take the children seriously and have conversations with them that is age-appropriate.

• 55:52Lewis Howes?

  Yes, yes. I can't wait for that book. You'll have to let me know so we can have you back on for that book as well.

• 55:59Edith Eger?

  Exactly.

• 56:00Lewis Howes?

  The course, I know you have a free course about forgiveness as well.

• 56:05Edith Eger?

  Yes.

• 56:05Lewis Howes?

  So I want people to get the free course, and we'll have it all linked up on your site, dr. edith eger dot com. And...

• 56:12Edith Eger?

  Forgiveness has a greater to do with letting go, letting go. So my definition of love is the ability to let go.

• 56:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Whatever you're holding on to, let it go.

• 56:33Edith Eger?

  Let it go.

• 56:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Edith Eger?

  Not going back and new beginning.

• 56:39Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 56:40Edith Eger?

  So you're pregnant. And you're gonna give birth to the you that was meant to be free.

• 56:50Edith Eger?

  Freedom is everything. Freedom from the concentration camp that is in your own mind. And the key is in your pocket.

• 57:03Lewis Howes?

  That's a part of your free course that people can get right now.

• 57:05Edith Eger?

  Definitely.

• 57:06Lewis Howes?

  And then if they want even more, you've got your advanced course, Unlocking Your Potential. So I want people to get both of those. That's beautiful. Okay. I have two final questions. Do you have time for two more questions?

• 57:17Edith Eger?

  Sure.

• 57:18Lewis Howes?

  Okay. I believe I asked you this last time. But I want to ask you again.

• 57:24Lewis Howes?

  And it's called the Three Truths question.

• 57:28Lewis Howes?

  So it's a hypothetical question.

• 57:30Edith Eger?

  Truth is all subjective.

• 57:32Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 57:33Edith Eger?

  My truth, yours the truth.

• 57:34Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, exactly. So I want you to imagine a hypothetical scenario. For whatever reason, you have to take all of your books and conversations and courses and work with you somewhere. We don't have access to your content. And all we have access to are these three truths, these three lessons that you've learned in your life that you'd like to share with the world. What would be those three truths that you could share? If you could only share three things, and we wouldn't have access to any other content you've created, what would be those three truths?

• 58:12Edith Eger?

  Suffering makes me stronger.

• 58:18Edith Eger?

  Become your own good parent to you.

• 58:26Edith Eger?

  And find your little child in you who is crying.

• 58:34Edith Eger?

  And asking for a good parent, and you show up for that child, the little boy, the little girl. And how, anything you do, ask yourself whether it's empowering you

• 58:54Edith Eger?

  or depleting you.

• 58:57Lewis Howes?

  Is a three-powerful truth.

• 58:58Edith Eger?

  And don't say, "Just this time, nobody's gonna find out." You know? "I'm gonna have this drink just now." Don't want...

• 59:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, is it empowering or depleting you? Yeah, that's beautiful.

• 59:11Edith Eger?

  You need to know whether it's really important that you become your own good parent.

• 59:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's beautiful.

• 59:20Edith Eger?

  And then, whether you're going to act upon it or not. Positive thinking has nothing to do with anything unless it's followed with a positive action.

• 59:33Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm, that's beautiful. Well, Dr. Edith, I want to acknowledge you. I appreciate you for how you continue to show up, how you continue to serve, how you continue to give.

• 59:44Edith Eger?

  That's what it's all about, showing up.

• 59:45Lewis Howes?

  Your joy, your generosity, your attention, your time, and your wisdom. So I really acknowledge and appreciate you. I'm so grateful for you. And I can't wait to have some chicken from you soon.

• 59:58Edith Eger?

  That's right.

• 59:59Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna come and get some chicken from you.

• 1:00:00Edith Eger?

  We're going to have chicken together, but most of all, we're going to be colleagues.

• 1:00:07Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:00:08Edith Eger?

  And recognize that none of the academic knowledge really does any good unless you really have the knowledge of your life's work, that you chose not to be a victim or the victimizer ever.

• 1:00:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. My final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:00:41Edith Eger?

  Is to show up for life.

• 1:00:43Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Thank you so much.

• 1:00:46Edith Eger?

  Thank you.

• 1:00:46Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate you. Thank you.

• 1:00:48Edith Eger?

  God bless.

• 1:00:48Lewis Howes?

  I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And

• 1:01:30Lewis Howes?

  now it's time to go out there and do something great.