#617 - Aziz Ansari

Aziz Ansari is a stand-up comedian, actor, writer and filmmaker. His new movie “Good Fortune” is in theaters Oct. 17th. Aziz joins Theo to talk about writing and directing his first film, the mystery of mini anamalia, and how his family found community in the south when he was growing up. Aziz Ansari: https://www.instagram.com/azizansari/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Prize Picks: Go to https://prizepicks.onelink.me/ivHR/THEO and use code THEO to get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! NBA Tip Off Max Discount: Steph Curry 99% Off - More Than 0.5 Point on PrizePicks. Acorns: Go to https://acorns.com/THEO to sign up and get your $20 bonus investment. Quo: Go to http://quo.com/theo for 20% off of your first 6 months. Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo and download their new web browser Comet at https://comet.perplexity.ai/ ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:30Theo Von?

  There are some new things in the merch shop I want to let you know about. We got the tour merch. If you were unable to come to one of the cities, if you were unable to grab a piece of tour merch then and you want to get something, we've put whatever we have remaining there online. We also have some new Mmm, Bubby tees that have been restocked and we've got hoodies coming on those, some Camo Gang, Hitter Hunt Club, a lot of new items in there. And, um, and thank you so much. Some people are getting, um, gifts for their friends or family for Christmas. So, thank you for letting us be a part of your holidays and thanks for supporting the

• 1:13Theo Von?

  show, theovonstore.com. Thank you, guys. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's an actor and a filmmaker. He just directed his first film called Good Fortune, which we're going to talk about. And I'm looking forward to getting to meet him, really. We never even known each other. So, we're going to do that now. Today's guest is Mr. Aziz Ansari.

• 1:56Theo Von?

  Sweet, man. I get a hit of this.

• 2:01Theo Von?

  What do you drink, man? What's your... Do you have a beverage of choice, kinda?

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Just espresso and water.

• 2:06Theo Von?

  Really?

• 2:07Speaker 02

  I mean, not together, but espressa... I drink espresso a lot. And then, um, and then water. And then I'm fine drinking, like, you know, wine or whatever, a martini or whatever, but...

• 2:15Theo Von?

  Ooh, a martini, huh?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Check, check. You good? Okay.

• 2:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:24Theo Von?

  Do Indian people react well to martinis? Are you... Is your family Indian by nature?

• 2:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, by nature, they are Indian.

• 2:31Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, my family's from India. I was born in South Carolina.

• 2:36Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Wait, are we going now or no?

• 2:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, we can be.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, whatever. Okay, wait. So, where are you from? You're from Louisiana.

• 2:43Theo Von?

  I'm from Louisiana, yeah.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Okay. Cause, you know, whenever I hear someone else from a... With a southern accent, it's almost like when I see someone that's Indian. I'm a little like, oh, I need to... But I... We've never really met, I don't think, properly. I've... I was a... You were at Chris Rock's birthday party. I saw you there, but, you know, that was a crazy thing. I didn't really get to say hi, but... Do you have that when you... When you hear someone with a southern accent? Cause to me, there's so few people... I don't have one, but I'm from South Carolina. I lost my accent. It comes out when I start talking to other people that have it. Even the guy that picked me up at the airport, he was from Atlanta and I... And I started and I like, it started seeping in.

• 3:24Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  But yours has stayed strong. Mine is gone, but, uh, I remember when I met Danny McBride. Cause you... There's so few people that have southern accents that are in our kind of acting Hollywood comedian world.

• 3:38Theo Von?

  It's kinda true, huh?

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Strange.

• 3:40Theo Von?

  I think right before our generation, it was more prevalent.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Before, well, there was the whole like, uh, blue collar.

• 3:47Theo Von?

  Right, those guys.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Those guys, they had their run. That was, that was, they all had southern accents.

• 3:52Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Larry the Cable guy, definitely southern accent.

• 3:54Theo Von?

  Yeah, he's going back on tour, I just saw.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, you know, I grew up in a small town in South Carolina called Bennettsville. There's like 8,000 people there. No one ever toured there or anything. And I remember some kids went and saw Jeff Foxworthy. And he came to Florence, South Carolina, which is like 45 minutes. And like, we saw Jeff Foxworthy. That was the first time I'd ever heard of someone going to a live comedy show.

• 4:19Theo Von?

  Oh, wow.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  By the way, I'm shivering a little bit because, so I, I, you know, I came from, I was in Chicago and I had to get up at like 5:00 in the morning and you had a cold plunge. And your producer was like, if you want to jump in the cold plunge. And I was like, are you, are you kidding? Are you serious? Cause I'm a little tired and I didn't really sleep yesterday and I did it. But like, I'm a little cold, I'm a little cold. I'm shivering a little bit.

• 4:44Theo Von?

  It'll rattle ya. Yeah, no, I'm glad you got in, dude. Yeah, I got in, I was in there earlier this morning. I get in now because I don't want to. So I'm like, let me go do something that I don't want to do to start my day. And I think it adjusts my attitude, which I need a lot. And dude, I just went to, I just went to University of South Carolina. We had, we met a chauffeur over there. His girlfriend had thrown fettuccine, like a hot thing of boiling fettuccine on him. And yeah, and he had to be like, dude, it's crazy, bro.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  That, that story took a dark turn really fast. That's, that's the last thing I expected to happen to this guy in the story is, is boiling fettuccine thrown on him.

• 5:20Theo Von?

  Exa- bro, 100%. And, but he was our chauff-

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Wait, with the water, not?

• 5:25Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Okay, cause, cause if it was just the fettuccine, that, that's not too bad.

• 5:29Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  The water was in the mix too, though. That's, that's, that's a crime.

• 5:32Theo Von?

  Yeah, oh, it was a crime. And his, yeah, his neck was like dripping off of him and stuff. It was, he went through a lot. But anyway, met him, he was a chauffeur over there. Uh, Stan, he's out of the, he's out of the Bronx originally. But we just had him come in. He was just like kind of a unique character, so, um, but. Hey Trev, will you cut the AC off just in case?

• 5:53Theo Von?

  I don't wanna fucking lose Aziz.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Am I looking crazy?

• 5:56Theo Von?

  No, you seem fine.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  Okay, I didn't know if I was just sitting there like this.

• 5:59Theo Von?

  But no, I know what you mean. Sometimes if you get that in, and that AC's on, it's kind of a lot. Um, dude, is it, is this true? Uh, and thanks so much for coming in today, man.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  Oh, man, I, I really appreciate it. And, you know, I, I'm not really super familiar with a lot of podcasts. And I haven't done a big press tour in like, a long time. Cause, you know, the last time I had something come out was during COVID, so that was weird. You didn't really do the normal stuff. And then, um, I've been working on these films for a bit and, and, um, so before I was like, they were like, oh, do all these podcasts. I was like, well, I'm, I'm gonna listen to episodes and I, and I listened to a couple of years. I listened to the Bernie Sanders one.

• 6:36Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Which I really liked and, and to me really connected with my film, cause the stuff you guys were talking about, um, you're talking about something that I hadn't heard where the, the number one cause of bankruptcy is, is medical bills.

• 6:50Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  And in, in my character in the film, you're never really given a clear explanation of what happened to this guy. The guy's, you know, he's lost his job, he's sleeping in his car, but.

• 6:59Theo Von?

  Oh, in Good Fortune, you mean?

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:00Theo Von?

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  But it made me think of that, what your conversation with Bernie Sanders. And I was like, oh, man, this is really, um, on the, in the same kinda realm. And then, um, and I loved your episode with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm always fascinated by Arnold.

• 7:13Theo Von?

  Really?

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause I think he's so, I think he's so smart and, and, um, yeah, I don't know why. I, I, I think you realize like, the more you're in this business, especially the, in the kinda movie acting world to like, be an actor that's kind of had a few hits, like, a lot of things have to come together and it's not an accident. You know what I mean? When these guys have this run of hits, like, they've gotta be really sharp.

• 7:40Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty fascinating. I guess we went to his office and there's like the, his like Conan thing is in there and like the sword, he's like.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  Wait, did you meet that little donkey he has?

• 7:49Theo Von?

  I don't know if the donkey was there. There was some hair on the floor.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  That's in his house. This was at his office.

• 7:53Theo Von?

  Oh, no, this was his office, yeah. There was some hair on the floor, but I don't know what it was from, I don't think. Um, oh my god.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a donkey.

• 8:02Theo Von?

  Oh, cuz I think he's very Dutch like that or something. Oh, he's very-

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Oh my god, yeah, those are mini donkeys.

• 8:08Theo Von?

  They look mixed, too.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  I met a small donkey in Nashville once.

• 8:11Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  First off, I love Nashville. I, I, I go to Zany's a lot when I'm like working on sets.

• 8:18Theo Von?

  Yeah, oh, I think I remem- that's what the last thing I remember. I remember hearing you came to Zany's and did like six or seven nights or something over there.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, and one time, one of my favorite shows, the power went out. And I had to do the show, like the power went out and we're like, what do we do? And the staff there was amazing. They like immediately brought candles out and I was like yelling my set and then some guy like brought like a speaker and a microphone. It was incredible.

• 8:42Theo Von?

  Oh dude, I think, didn't they, I think it was an article or something about that I even remember. I remember seeing a picture about that, or at least just hearing about it like in local lore, you know? Um, one thing about Nashville is dude, it's a very small city, like it's small, it's like people, it's, you, something happens, you hear about it, it's not like, it just feels like a huge town, like-

• 9:00Speaker 02

  How long you lived here?

• 9:01Theo Von?

  A really big town. I lived here for, I think, almost four years.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Where were you before?

• 9:06Theo Von?

  The pand- dem- I was in LA.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 9:08Theo Von?

  Yeah, and I moved directly from there cuz during the pandemic, I remember seeing like Kid Rock's bar, you know, and people are having a blast there. And meanwhile, like my landlord is like making us wear hazmat suits to get our fucking mail and check if everybody's all paranoid and shit out there. And I was like, fuck this shit, I'm, I gotta fucking go, you know?

• 9:26Speaker 02

  I, I've always lived in Nashville. I, I did a series for Netflix, uh, and we filmed an episode here and I always come here for standup. I did the Ryman, I'd never done the Ryman, I'd always done some other theater, and I did the Ryman on this tour that I, uh, a few months ago. And that's, that's one of the best, best places I've ever performed.

• 9:43Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's that thing.

• 9:45Theo Von?

  Yeah, that was it.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Yes, that, isn't that so crazy? Yeah.

• 9:48Theo Von?

  A power outage forced comedian, Aziz Ansari finished his set in the dark Monday night, dude.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  That was cool. That was like one of those cool, cool moments. That was fun. But when I was here for that trip to get back to the donkeys.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  My wife, uh, she's Danish and she loves, she loves donkeys. And there was some fair here. And they had miniature donkeys.

• 10:13Theo Von?

  Oh, beautiful.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  And we sought them out and we, we said, what's up to them? One of them's name was, uh, his name was Roger and he was born October, October 4th. So Roger 10-4.

• 10:23Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  So we met Roger and there was another little donkey named Lily, but I, she was, she was a little big. I don't know if she was a micro donkey. Rod, Roger was straight up micro. Lily was a little big. I don't know if she was micro.

• 10:37Theo Von?

  At that size, I don't judge their weight, to be honest with them. You know what I'm saying? But cause the bodies, there's already a lot going on, you know? It's like, yeah, I think, I, I think that, I mean, look, I think they're beautiful. I remember I met the world's smallest horse one time.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  When, when was that and where?

• 10:54Theo Von?

  And this is, his name was Tom Thumb and I met him in Alameda, I believe.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  And how did that, how did that intro come about?

• 11:02Theo Von?

  Well, people, people like, you gotta go meet him and shit. And I remember I'd been in a bar.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Alameda is where? California?

• 11:07Theo Von?

  California, yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  So you were doing a show in Alameda and then like, you gotta, you gotta meet the smallest horse?

• 11:12Theo Von?

  No, we'd been out there for a, I, I was just, I think I had heard about it. I think I'd been in conversations about like smaller animals, animalia generally. Uh, the world's.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 11:24Theo Von?

  The one I met was Tom Thumb. And if you can also look up separately, um, on perplexity here, if you can just look up, uh, Theo Von Tom Thumb. I did a post on it. It was pretty fascinating.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  What's perplexity?

• 11:36Theo Von?

  Perplexity is like a different AI. It does, for me, I like it because it's, uh, it can help me like edit and pull clips out of things. Like you can put something in it and it'll be like, like what clips do you like in this? What do you suggest? That sort of thing?

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 11:49Theo Von?

  So it's kind of like, it's like a, it's like an AI, you know?

• 11:52Speaker 02

  It's far beyond my.

• 11:54Theo Von?

  What?

• 11:54Speaker 02

  I don't know any of this stuff.

• 11:56Theo Von?

  Dude, what are you talking about? Do people, how do your parents feel about that?

• 12:00Speaker 02

  That I don't know, uh, perplexity?

• 12:02Theo Von?

  That you don't know about the AIs?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  I mean, I know what it is. I, I, I, uh, I don't really use that stuff much. I don't, I, I don't really use internet or phone or anything very much. I try to stay off.

• 12:12Theo Von?

  Yes. Oh, here we go right here. Let's take a video. Let's, let's.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  I am into this now.

• 12:18Theo Von?

  How long he gonna be here today for?

• 12:22Theo Von?

  He'll be here all day? How small is he?

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 12:34Theo Von?

  And he's alive too?

• 12:36Speaker 02

  That would be dark.

• 12:40Theo Von?

  You don't know what people are doing dude. But yeah, so just to let you know, I guess we have a lot of symbiosis there in our love for the small horses.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  Small, uh, what are horses and donkeys? What's that? Ask the AI, what is that called? What are that? That kind of animal, horses, donkeys, the four-legged kind of, they're, they're similar. There must be some group.

• 12:59Theo Von?

  Yeah, what is that called?

• 13:01Speaker 02

  The equus.

• 13:02Theo Von?

  Yeah, the equus. The equine.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  The equines.

• 13:05Theo Von?

  But dude, when you think that God took all the beauty of a huge horse and put it into like a baby snicker of a horse, a little horse.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, there's not, is there any other animals that have minis? Like, cause there's many horses, there's many donkeys. What is it? There's many cows?

• 13:22Theo Von?

  There are? Oh, wow.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Oh, God, that'd be a dark moment. You go to a steakhouse, they're like, just so you know, these are all mini cows.

• 13:29Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 13:31Theo Von?

  It's still.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  That's too dark.

• 13:33Theo Von?

  I'd have a little. You know what I'm saying?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  You probably could only have a little.

• 13:37Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's true, dude.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  There's not like a, a 40 ounce mini cow steak. That's not, that's not happening. It's like, it's like he's a one ounce. It's like, it's like when you go to a sushi restaurant, they have that one little piece of wagyu. This is, this is from a mini cow. Oh my God, they're all furry. Maybe, maybe I'm gonna finish this show and get addicted to the internet, cause this is, this is pretty fun. I never knew about mini cows. I didn't know. I would have just been wondering about equines, equus.

• 14:04Theo Von?

  Well, look dude, I think you could get your wife one of these. Let me see. Miniature horses rarely exceed 34 inches in height. Miniature donkeys also max out at around 34 inches.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  There's many micro pigs. Oh wait, this is a whole list of everything there's many of. There's many horses, donkeys. Pygmy goats, they don't call them micro goats. They prefer to be referred to as pygmy goats.

• 14:25Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  Mini sheeps, micro pigs, micro pigs I've heard of.

• 14:30Theo Von?

  Imagine a mini sheep though. Hmm.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  You'd make a very small sweater.

• 14:36Theo Von?

  Yeah. You're just sitting there.

• 14:40Theo Von?

  Oh dude, we gotta get some of these animals. But dude, when I was a kid, they only had big dogs and then the dogs started getting littler. A lot of this, I think, is crossbreeding and inbreeding. You know, I grew up in a kind of an, not an inbreeding district, but I grew up in like, certainly like the stray animal belt and the inbreeding belt, kind of like, they, you can, they run across some of the same plains in America.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 15:01Theo Von?

  And we would see a lot of, you know, people start getting smaller over time in the area. Cause you, and that's when you knew like, okay, people need to start walking farther or driving farther for sex, you know?

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 15:14Theo Von?

  You just knew the inbreeding was heating up, you know? You knew the kettle, the kettle was getting a little warm, you know? Um, when somebody'd have a baby and they could just put it on like a key ring or whatever. It was like, that thing's too small, you know? Um, good to see you, man, cause we've never really gotten to talk and it's good to laugh with somebody.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  No, I, and you know, I, I love meeting comedians that I haven't met before. I, I, uh, I, I, I was thinking this the other day, like when I was on tour, I was, you know, I'd bring some of the same guys out with me and.

• 15:46Theo Von?

  Who do you take with you? Sorry to interject.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Um, Will Silvins, uh, he, he hosts a lot.

• 15:51Theo Von?

  He's in the movie, isn't he?

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Will's in the movie and Ricky Velez, they, they, uh, they came out with me a lot, um, early this year. And then, uh, our, our tour manager, Beth, who I love, Will especially. Have you ever met Will? Do you know Will at all?

• 16:04Theo Von?

  I don't know him, but I recognized him immediately.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  This dude?

• 16:07Theo Von?

  I know him, but I don't know him well.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  The hardest I laughed in my life is after shows, going to dinner with Will.

• 16:16Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Cause he's just the most ridiculous guy. And he just, he's so funny, like just this stuff, like this, one of my favorite Will anecdotes. One time I told him, I said, uh, I wanted to send him a, a playlist of some music. And he's like, I don't use Spotify. And I was like, well, what do you use? He goes, I use Amazon Music.

• 16:35Theo Von?

  Oh, type shit.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  And I was like, why do you use Amazon Music? He's like, cause I like to download the MP3s and burn them on the CDs. I was like, this, this is, this is such a unique dude.

• 16:45Theo Von?

  Yeah, I mean, it sounds illegal, but it also sounds like I respect it, you know?

• 16:51Speaker 02

  But I, but let's say I love comedians. Comedians are my favorite people.

• 16:55Theo Von?

  Well, I think in the end, it's like you have to realize how rare it is that people do it and that, uh, that we do all have something in common, you know? And it used to feel like a lot more like that.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Again, it's like the southern accent. It's like when I see another Indian person, there's something that pulls me towards them.

• 17:10Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  It makes me comfortable.

• 17:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think well, some of that's just tribe, you know, there's a little bit of like whatever's built into us.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  And what a specific tribe to, you know, cause most people's, you know, most people's worst fear is public speaking and it's what we do for a living. So there's something deep inside that's a bond with all of us, has to be.

• 17:31Theo Von?

  Oh, we're like Satan's mini donkeys.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Mini donkeys of self-esteem.

• 17:35Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Me self-esteem. That's why we need so much approval with laughter.

• 17:40Theo Von?

  It's like if you pet me enough.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Micro self-esteem people.

• 17:43Theo Von?

  Yeah, if you pet me enough, I'll grow into a regular sized horse, you know?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, we get enough laughs, we play enough theaters, or if you graduate to arenas, then we become full-size people.

• 17:53Theo Von?

  This is enough. That's hilarious. It's almost like our Pinocchio story.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:57Theo Von?

  Um, yeah, dude, I stayed up watching the movie last night, Good Fortune. That's your, it's a new movie.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:03Theo Von?

  Um, dude, the amount of turns that were, that started to happen, I'm about like, I guess maybe 45 minutes in. The amount of turns that started to happen in the plot, really were making it heat up.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  Oh, well, thank you. Yeah.

• 18:16Theo Von?

  It's cool, dude. And Keanu Reeves, he's like this, like, he almost reminds me of like a surfer dude that won Best in Show at Westminster type of vibe. You know what I'm saying?

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a little bit of, uh, California kind of, um, but he's very sweet, like a, like a little pup.

• 18:33Theo Von?

  And his posture is so good. It seemed like he would win Best in Show, like he seems like he has very good posture.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  I never noticed his posture, but.

• 18:41Theo Von?

  You didn't?

• 18:42Speaker 02

  No, but you know, I remember when we first started screening the movie, as soon as he came up on screen, I could tell there was something like, whoa, this dude's a movie star. And it's not just that he's handsome. There's something, this other. You know, there's this other thing that he has and he's so funny in the movie. I mean, he just kills. And by the end of the movie, when I've watched it with crowds, like, he's just doing the smallest thing and just getting huge laughs. And, um, yeah, but, um...

• 19:11Theo Von?

  You directed and wrote and you're in it, right? You wrote it too?

• 19:15Speaker 02

  I wrote it.

• 19:16Theo Von?

  Dude, that's awesome, bro.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Produced, acted, everything, too much.

• 19:20Theo Von?

  So you have control issues, you think?

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, a little bit, but in a positive way as well. You know, Seth Rogen's in the movie and he does his show, The Studio, and we've talked about that, about, you know, kind of doing everything, because he does everything on that. There's something that's kind of streamlined about it, you know? To like, oh, I had this idea, this is how I'm gonna write it. And you kind of have... For me, whenever I'm writing something, I kind of have a, you know, an idea in my head of how I want it to sound and look and everything. And directing is pretty much just conveying that to a group of people to execute it.

• 19:53Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  So if it's all coming from one person, and if you're one of the people acting, it does make things easier in a sense.

• 19:59Theo Von?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, man, that does make a lot of sense, dude.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, you know, you have other people like Seth and Keanu, who, you know, they have iconic voices. So when I'm writing, I have their voice in the head. And then, when they're there, they do it like even funnier than you think they were gonna do it when you had it in your head. They add something or improvise and, um... You know, the goal is really you have like the version in your head, and then you have this whole crew and cast, and you kind of convey your vision, and then they take that, and then they give you something else that's something from them, and it becomes better than you thought.

• 20:35Theo Von?

  How long was you guys to shoot for?

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Um, well, it was a little weird, because we shot like one or two days, and then the writer's strike happened. We have to stop for a few months.

• 20:44Theo Von?

  No.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  And then we came back and um This sounds crazy when I'm saying it out loud. So we came back after the writer's strike, which was like, I don't know, seven months or something. It was a while.

• 20:57Theo Von?

  And were people pregnant and stuff? Like, was it different?

• 20:59Speaker 02

  No, no one got pregnant, but, no, everyone was still the same, but um

• 21:03Theo Von?

  Oh, thank God.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  We, we shot for like a couple of days and then Keanu broke his knee. He broke his kneecap, like on our, like, second or third day back.

• 21:11Theo Von?

  What was he doing?

• 21:13Speaker 02

  I mean, it sounds insane as I'm saying it out loud, because this guy's done all the Matrix movies, all the John Wick movies, never got hurt.

• 21:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  We filmed a scene in a cold plunge and he was going back to his dressing room. He was all wrapped up in a robe and everything, and he like tripped on a rug and fell on his knee and broke his kneecap.

• 21:32Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, they got pictures of him in the crutches here on, on perplexity, uh.

• 21:38Theo Von?

  No, he broke his friggin kneecap and when you guys right there, could you hear it?

• 21:42Speaker 02

  No, no, I, it was in his, in his dressing room, so I, I just heard like someone on the, on the walk, he's like, oh, Keanu's down.

• 21:49Theo Von?

  Oh, so he went through it alone?

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, he fell down and then they were like, he's hurt, and then he came down, he was ready to film right away. His knee was like bleeding right crazy and we're like, hey man, maybe you should go to a doc. And he was like, no, no, no, let's shoot, let, he, he, he loves, he loves shooting. He just wants to shoot. But anyway, we could film most of his stuff. He had like a knee brace that we like edited out with VFX.

• 22:13Theo Von?

  He didn't get that stupid one with the wheels on it, did he?

• 22:16Speaker 02

  No, he didn't have the wheels. That was kinda mean to call it stupid, man. People are, that's what some people gotta use.

• 22:21Theo Von?

  But dude, I saw some drunk lady and her husband, they were going down Broadway in Nashville and uh

• 22:28Speaker 02

  I know the thing you're talking about. It's like a, kinda like a scoo, this thing, yeah.

• 22:32Theo Von?

  It's like a mini scooter and then

• 22:34Speaker 02

  My friend broke his Achilles, Tori's Achilles heel and he had to use that for a while.

• 22:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's like the X Games of being crippled or whatever.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's a little weird. Yeah, it seems a little silly. But he didn't have one of those. He just had a big knee brace. But we had these scenes where he had, like, most of the stuff we could kind of figure it out, but there was a couple of scenes where we needed him to dance. There's a whole thing where he starts dancing kumbia and we were like, Keanu, we can't shoot the kumbia stuff. So we came back after his leg healed and shot a few more days. But it was like a thirty day shoot.

• 23:05Theo Von?

  Oh, wow. It's fast. That's a lot of work.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's not too much, but it's not too little.

• 23:10Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, we just, David Spade and I made a movie and I can't talk about it anymore on here because we've talked about it a lot, but.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  How many days?

• 23:17Theo Von?

  Twenty-three days.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  That's pretty tight. I mean, I don't know the script or anything, but twenty-three is, you know, that's a lot of work.

• 23:23Theo Von?

  But over thirty, yeah, we probably had a few days off in between, you know, but it was a lot. It was like the fires that happens. We had to move.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 23:29Theo Von?

  One scene that just happens to be fire in it. You're like, okay, well, this has to be part of it because you've already set up for the day and whatever the space is gonna be. So like one day it's crazy winds. The winds were like forty-five miles an hour.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  I remember that. I was in L.A. dur- right, right during the fires. And I remember the day before, there was a crazy winds. I was like, what's happening?

• 23:48Theo Von?

  Okay, so we're like talking about kites. We wrote that in the script, like, yeah, we should get some kites.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  You wrote it in afterwards.

• 23:53Theo Von?

  Yeah, just to add like, yeah, maybe we'll get some kites after, you know, we like threw in a line. It's like just trying to make things make sense, you know, because you just have, you're already set up. Everybody's already driven there. The people are there. There's a lady standing there with makeup. You know what I'm saying? Like people have washed their bodies and gotten in their vehicles and gotten over there. People have put on deodorant. People have put on clean panties and men's panties or whatever they're called, under, men's underwear.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  They put on their undergarments and they showed up. And it's a lot of people. And it's crazy because, you know, you write these random things and then all these people get to work to do it. And it's like some silly joke about a pillowcase or whatever. It's like, oh, which pillowcase do you want to use?

• 24:35Theo Von?

  Sometimes something as dumb as that, like all these people will drive to one place just so somebody can be like, Ricky's a bitch. And you're like, okay, that's lunch. You're like, that fucking took four hours? God, and Ricky's not even a bitch anymore. He's had a surgery by the end of the day. You know what I'm saying? So everything's changed.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  It, it blows my mind that, you know, because it's like stand up and you, you, you do these things and you're just on a mic and there's people there listening. But when you write a joke for a movie, there's all these trucks, everybody's showed up. It's, it's, it really makes you pause for a second. I don't know if you had this thing where you're like, oh, man, this is a lot of hope. I hope this is worth it for these people.

• 25:13Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. I remember the first day we got to do, to set, I was like, holy shit. I thought this had just been a bunch of emails, you know? And it was like all the emails that come together in real life, like there was trailers. There was some guy got electrocuted, like, yeah. But it was like everything, you know, you were like, oh, people are acting or some guy practicing his things. They're like firing an extra, like all the shit was going on, you know, like some guys just like, you know, I had bought the wrong peanut, just all the shit's happening, you know, there's no coffee. There was always no coffee when I got over there, it's fine. But it was just like, it's fascinating to see it happen. And it's one of those things that has to like,

• 25:55Theo Von?

  it's so expensive to do that you have to get it done on that day. It's like whatever elements come, if somebody breaks their leg, if somebody goes missing, you have to, for an hour, you have to like shoot around it, just all these little things that kind of go on, you know?

• 26:08Speaker 02

  I, I was telling someone, people always ask me like, what's the difference between doing stand up and doing a film? To me, doing stand up, it's like, you're, you're running around a track and you go, hey, I'm ready to go. And then you, you go to all these cities and you, you run around the track and, and you're done. And a movie is like, you have to go to these people and go, hey, I want to climb this mountain. Can you give me money to climb this mountain? And they're like, let me see your plan, which is like your script. And they're like, hmm, well, we can give you this much. Oh, that's not really enough supplies. And then they're like, well, can Brad Pitt climb the mountain with you? Can, can you get, you know, these other famous, can, you know, and, and then if you're lucky enough to even get to start climbing the mountain, then people just start throwing boulders. Like, hey, here's the writer's strike.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Hey, there's the fires in LA. Oh, wait, Keanu's broke his kneecap and it is a-

• 26:59Theo Von?

  Positive blood test and you're like, oh. That's rough.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  It's, it's all just, you're just trying to avoid all these different disasters. And if you're lucky, you, you, you make it to the top, but it's, it's so much harder to either so much more to, to, that's out of your control. Stand up is so-

• 27:18Theo Von?

  In your control.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's something so pure and beautiful about stand up. I like doing both, but there is something so pure and beautiful about stand up where it's just literally a person talking into a microphone. It, it, it's kind of such a pure and direct art form. And filmmaking, there's so many other things that are out of your control and is a lot more complex, but it's rewarding in its own way. I mean, I, I, I think about how, you know, I'll, I'm working on other scripts now and I'll, I'll have some joke and it'll, it'll be like, whoa, this will be maybe years from now before I'll see this joke play in a theater and hear a crowd of people laugh. And then a stand-up joke, you know, you or I could think of something tonight and go to a comedy club and try it and hear it get a laugh. And that's so satisfying. But

• 28:04Speaker 02

  there's also something crazy about like, I remember I started writing Good Fortune, like probably in the pandemic, I started writing it on and off. And there's jokes I wrote in, and then years later, it's like, I'm in a theater in Burbank and Keanu Reeves is saying the joke and, you know, a crowd full of people goes crazy. And they're both amazing, but in different ways.

• 28:25Theo Von?

  Yeah. That's so wild, dude. It's pretty much a fact that PrizePix is the best place to win cash while watching sports. And with football season fully underway, there's no better time to join PrizePix. One thing I love is that the app is really easy to use. To create a lineup, you just pick more or less on a few players' stats. That's it. So you, you're not involved with the whole team. You just got your dogs in there. PrizePix is in more than 40 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. And right now, PrizePix will give you $50 in lineups when you play

• 29:07Theo Von?

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• 29:52Theo Von?

  And now you can even follow me on PrizePix @TheoVonPrizePix. It's good to be right. Let's be honest, okay? Traditional phone systems aren't really set up for how businesses work today. That's a fact. And when you miss a call, you're not just missing a conversation, you're missing business. That's why I want to mention QUO, formerly OpenPhone, is the modern alternative designed to help you work smarter, build stronger relationships, and never miss an opportunity. QUO is the number one business phone system that streamlines customer communications. No more juggling two phones or being tied to a landline.

• 30:35Theo Von?

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• 31:20Theo Von?

  Like it's so ridiculous. Have there ever been something like that?

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, right now it's so hard to get any movie made. They all feel like, oh, man, I hope I can make this. You know, I've got two movies that I, uh, two other scripts that I've written. I had this movie with Bill Murray that I was doing that got shut down. I want to finish that.

• 31:38Theo Von?

  Why? What happened?

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Oh, well, uh, Bill Murray, uh, was part of this movie we did called Being Mortal. Being Mortal was a book by this gentleman named Atul Gawande. It's all about like end of life issues. It's about stuff, you know, uh, that people my age are dealing with with their parents, you know? Some, maybe not all the people my, people older, but you know? They're getting sick, you gotta put them in retirement homes and you gotta figure all this, this stuff out. Very, you know, very interesting book and it's about-

• 32:10Theo Von?

  Cool book?

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Very, highly recommend this book.

• 32:12Theo Von?

  Have you met a tool called Wanda?

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I had to talk to a tool to get rights to the book and, and when I decided to turn into script, he, um, he helped me and, and, um-

• 32:21Theo Von?

  Is he cool?

• 32:23Speaker 02

  Very cool, very smart guy. And, um, uh, so I thought, okay, this is like, the, the book is not a fiction book, it's non-fiction. But I was like, oh man, if you turn this into a story, there's things that are funny, even though it's dark, you know, like there's things that are funny about like, you know, you have to go like take your parents to like all, or your mom or dad, you have to take them to all these different retirement homes. And like they, you know, all these people in his book, they're always like, I wanna be in here, everybody in here is old. It's like, that's people's perspective, it's kind of funny. And, uh, and just like how out of depth you are talking to these doctors, doctors talk to you like, you know, you know, these super complicated things are like, anyway, so what do you want to do?

• 33:08Speaker 02

  If you do this, you know, he might be paralyzed, but if you do this, you know, you're like, wait, what?

• 33:13Theo Von?

  Yeah, but if you do this, he might be able to do a backflip and you're like, well, that's a, that's a mixed bag.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  It, it's so, you're, you're, you're just immediately out of your depth. But anyway, I read the story and, and read the book and, and you, you notice these patterns, like the parents are like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. And then they like drive their car through the house or something and then you're like, we gotta take you to home, man. You know, that kind of thing.

• 33:34Theo Von?

  But that's really how it happens though for people.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  It's really how it happens and I was like, well, if you did a story about this and the guy was Bill Murray, that could be really funny. And really poignant, cause he, you know, I think about him in like Lost in Translation or Broken Flowers and, and he's one of these, he's got this rare ability to be so funny, but so grounded and touching and, and sincere. So I wrote the whole thing with him in mind. And then there was no like, oh, I'll get another guy. It was like, this movie only works in my head if it's Bill Murray. I can't think of anybody else.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  I wrote it and he's like famously the hardest guy to get a hold of.

• 34:13Theo Von?

  Yeah, you can't even get him.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I I knew him a little bit socially. I had his number. I call him. He answers the phone. I said, hey, I have a script that I wrote. Uh, you know, I said hello, whatever. And we talked for a minute. And I said, I I was calling you because I wrote the script and and I think you'd be great. And he's like, oh, that's wonderful. You know, mail it to my house. Very old school. He's like printing out, sending it to my house. So I sent it to him. He calls me like a couple of weeks later. He's like, yeah, I I I like this. Can you send me the book? I sent him the book. He was really into the book as well. And um, we eventually set it up. Seth Rogen plays his son. Kiki Palmer is playing Seth's wife. And um, we shot for like three weeks and then um, something happened on set where uh, Bill was inappropriate with uh, someone uh, that was working on the film.

• 34:59Theo Von?

  Oh, I remember something about that.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:03Theo Von?

  And was it real or was it fabricated? Who knows?

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Uh, I mean, something really happened.

• 35:07Theo Von?

  Okay, so something occurred and people felt their ways about it, right?

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't want to get into it too much because it's not my story to tell.

• 35:13Theo Von?

  So something happened on set and you had to shut the movie down?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, he he had a mask on, a COVID mask, and uh, this is from what I understand. He had a COVID mask on and he was trying to be funny and he was kissing this woman that he was friends with, with the mask on, trying to be funny, but this woman didn't like this and was was upset and um, and eventually it turned into this whole thing and they shut the whole movie down.

• 35:37Theo Von?

  No.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's the Wikipedia page. Uh, but uh, yes, this is what Bill said at the time. I did something I thought was funny. It wasn't taken that way. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

• 35:48Theo Von?

  The company, the movie studio, wanted to do the right thing, so they wanted to check it all out, investigate it, so they stopped the production.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, the the the whole whole movie shut down. Um.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  And sorry, I shared that 75, it wasn't 75%, we shot like half of it. But anyway, I can't remember what, how we started on this, but that, um, yeah, I'd love to finish that at some point. You know, if we can, because, you know, it was, it was, uh, it was very special, but.

• 36:12Theo Von?

  God, that must have been, I mean, it's been heartbreaking for everybody.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  It was, but it was one of those things that was so crazy, I don't think I ever fully processed it. I mean, you wanna know some crazy, I remember the week it happened. I was getting married that summer and my friends had, uh, they wanted to plan some sort of bachelor party for you, not like a, I, I'm not like, hey, let's go to the strip club kinda guy. They were like, gonna, we're gonna go to a restaurant, go to the spa or something like that, like a very silly kinda thing.

• 36:43Theo Von?

  Go to like a math-athon or something.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  What's a math-athon?

• 36:47Theo Von?

  Where people are doing math, yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  Is that a real thing, or did you just make up that word?

• 36:51Theo Von?

  I don't know, but I could see, for some reason, I just think.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  You think I'm, that's what I'm into? No, I'm not in a math-a-thons. Wait, it's a real thing, it's a fundraising event where you do math. Wow.

• 37:03Theo Von?

  Yeah, it is. Zuckerberg was a mathlete, um, Andrew Wang was a mathlete. No, Alexander Wang was a mathlete. A lot of those tech bros were mathletes, dude.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Alexander Wang, the fashion guy?

• 37:14Theo Von?

  No, there's a new one, um.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  A new Alexander Wang?

• 37:17Theo Von?

  That guy died or something, I think.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  Wait, I don't think he did. This is a different guy. Oh, this is a Gen Z billionaire, this Alexander without the E.

• 37:27Theo Von?

  A Wang, they call him in the streets, boy.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  Whoa, he's 28 years old?

• 37:30Theo Von?

  In the tech trenches, deep in the modem.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Is this screen with the guy looking stuff up with you around all the time, or just when you do the podcast?

• 37:37Theo Von?

  That would be so great.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  Cause I'm the opposite of this, I never look anything up. You know, I don't, you know what my wife said to me yesterday? I, you know, I don't have, I don't keep a smartphone on me, I don't, I blocked all the shit on the internet, I don't really use the internet. So sometimes I'll just ask my wife stuff, the same way you're asking this guy, and she's like, you know I'm not the internet, I'm your wife.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Cause I, what I'm secretly asking without asking is like, can you look that up for me? Cause I can't look it up. And she's like, I'm not the internet.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  It was a dark moment.

• 38:14Theo Von?

  You married, you married just to have the internet? That's so great.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  I just needed to have a smartphone without having one, so that's why I got married.

• 38:22Theo Von?

  Dude.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  She said that to me. I'm not the internet. She loves me very much. We were just texting about how much we love each other.

• 38:29Theo Von?

  It sounds like you. Look, we believe all that.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  It's tough, man. It's tough. I mean, I, I've, you know.

• 38:34Theo Von?

  Dude, you're crazy.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  I've, I've gotten lost and had to call her and, and been like, hey, where, where?

• 38:41Theo Von?

  Where are we?

• 38:42Speaker 02

  I'm here. I can't find a man. Cause I, I live in London and you know, there's.

• 38:46Theo Von?

  You live in London?

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, most of the time I'm there. Cause we met in London. We live there and um.

• 38:51Theo Von?

  Oh, your wife is Lon- is it London?

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Don't pull up the ex-girlfriend. She's in some.

• 38:55Theo Von?

  Okay, so somebody's wrong.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  Somebody's wrong. Um, but anyway, we live in uh, we live in, in London. We met there and um, you know.

• 39:04Theo Von?

  Does she speak Danish as well?

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, she speaks Danish. And I love languages, but Danish is pretty tough.

• 39:08Theo Von?

  Is it?

• 39:09Speaker 02

  It's tough, yeah.

• 39:10Theo Von?

  Is it romantic? Is it considered a romantic language?

• 39:12Speaker 02

  Oh, this gets, this gets us back to the donkey thing.

• 39:15Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  So she said that, um, I was like, well, what's like a Danish term of affection? Like maybe we can use that. And she said it was like skit. And I was like, that, that sounds harsh. That doesn't sound very sweet. And we were somewhere where we saw a donkey and she, and I said, what's the word for donkey? And she said asshole. And she said.

• 39:33Theo Von?

  Asshole?

• 39:33Speaker 02

  Asshole.

• 39:34Theo Von?

  Asshole.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  And uh, and she said it was her first word and that she loved donkeys. And I was like, well, why don't we call each other that? And so we started calling each other that. Yeah. And now I have, you see that AE? That, that's here on this, this chain, the AE. And that's what led to us meeting the little mini donkey in Nashville.

• 39:51Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Where we are now. Boom.

• 39:55Theo Von?

  God damn.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Asshole. Yeah. Yeah.

• 39:58Theo Von?

  Oh, you're my little asshole.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Exactly. But yeah, it's pretty close. Yeah. That's, that's it.

• 40:05Theo Von?

  Pretty close.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  No, you said it right. You're actually saying it better than I do. You, you're doing the AE, the combined AE. Yeah, that Danish is, you know, it's like, wait a second. Now, now we're coming up with new letters? You're combining the A and E? I'm, you know, I can speak Italian, okay. My, my family speaks Tamil. It's an Indian language. I can speak that a little bit.

• 40:23Theo Von?

  Well, they, yeah, the

• 40:23Speaker 02

  But Danish is, it's a tricky one.

• 40:25Theo Von?

  Well, a lot of them are mixed, are cis and bi gender now. Some, some vowels are. Like, there'll be a vowel that has, is, is trans now.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  It's, it's changing identity.

• 40:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's like

• 40:35Speaker 02

  What's the other one, they, A, E?

• 40:37Theo Von?

  How do we even pronounce you, bro? That's all we want.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Hey, we just wanna show you respect and do it right.

• 40:41Theo Von?

  Do whatever you want, but just tell, we just need to know how to use you in a word. And some vowels now are like, I don't wanna be in your fucking words or whatever. And we're like, bitch, or sir, just be in the fucking word, dude, you're a letter. But that's where it's at now, man.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  It's, Dan, it's tough, cuz we'll, we'll be there.

• 40:58Theo Von?

  Oh, that's not a real thing.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  Which thing? The, the O with the circle?

• 41:02Theo Von?

  Elon's kid's name?

• 41:04Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 41:05Theo Von?

  Asso.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  You're saying it right. That, that's pretty good pronunciation. No, and whenever I, whenever we're in Denmark and I try to read a word, I'll try to pronounce it right. And it's just, I just don't know the, the pronunciation rules. I get everything wrong. But wait, how do we start talking? Oh, because I use a telephone. Sometimes I'm walking around in London, and London, there's a lot of, like, maps on the street. So if I get lost, I can find the map and kinda make my way. But sometimes I, I like keep walking around, hoping to run into one of these maps, and I won't run into one. And I have to call her and I have to be like, hey, I'm, I'm over here. You gotta, you gotta tell me how to get to the tube station. And I remember that even when I first came to LA, I don't know, whenever you first came to LA, how long ago it was?

• 41:49Speaker 02

  But, you know, there wasn't GPS and stuff. GPS was like a fancy thing if they had it at all. So I would like print out directions on MapQuest. And I remember, you know, I would call my little brother. Uh, my little brother is years younger than me. He was still in South Carolina. And I'd call him and be like, hey, man, I, I'm on Caesar Chavez. How do I get back? Cuz we didn't have the stuff. We, when you came to LA, was it like that?

• 42:16Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, people had maps, drawings. You'd have a guy who had directions tattooed on his arm of how to get home if he was an alcoholic or whatever.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 42:24Theo Von?

  Like, shit was definitely more primitive back then. People would like, just write on their dashboard how to get home, like. Yeah, people had to remember. Remember when you just

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Knew everybody's phone number.

• 42:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, but also when somebody would give you directions, dude. And if you missed one of them or something, and you were going to a party, you just drove around the neighborhood for an hour and then went home. Like, you would drive and roll your windows down and see if you heard a party from the backyard.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:50Theo Von?

  We're basically like a bunch of like, um, Uh, Magellans, you know?

• 42:56Speaker 02

  And it's strange to think there's, there's people that grew up without knowing that at all. And it really does seem nuts that we were able to be okay without it.

• 43:06Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  You know?

• 43:07Theo Von?

  Well, it's like, do you imagine now, it's like we're gonna be at the airport and nobody's gonna go through TSA, right? Cause that's how it was.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  I barely remember that. Like that you could go up to the gate and all that stuff. You know, all of my travel, you know, I started doing comedy by the time I was touring and stuff and traveling all the time like we do.

• 43:26Theo Von?

  So you were already big touring when you started doing comedy or no?

• 43:29Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I'm saying like I didn't start traveling a bunch, you know, touring and doing all this stuff until after TSA and all these kinda things. You know, I barely remember traveling. Um, I wasn't on that many, you know, I wasn't flying all the time like, you know, I do now. So I barely remember that time where like you could walk up to the gate, you know?

• 43:47Theo Von?

  I might not even remember it actually.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, that all happened after nine 11, so it was after 2001, you know?

• 43:53Theo Von?

  Yeah, maybe a couple flights I'd taken probably, but yeah, dude. Imagine if we went back to that now. Would you think, say right now, you go to the airport, there's no TSA. Would you trust everyone enough to be like, okay, we're all gonna fly home together, guys? Does everybody promise they're not gonna cause any problems?

• 44:14Speaker 02

  I mean, uh, I don't know, it'd be, it's, it's, it's wild times right now. I don't know.

• 44:20Theo Von?

  And they would ask you twice probably.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  I was in the airport these past couple of days and you know, the government's been shut down. Those people, they're, they're working for free. Like I was like, hey, just so you know, guys, we're working for free. And I was like, oh my God.

• 44:32Theo Von?

  It's unbelievable.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  It's wild.

• 44:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, the government's just turned into like a shitty vehicle. It's like every now and then it just fucking shuts down or whatever.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  I mean, you gotta understand, for me to like be in London and read about all the stuff happening here and then come here. Like I was in Chicago yesterday and the, and so my friend's like, wow, time to be in Chicago. I was like, what do you mean? They're like, oh, the National Guards, they're just grabbing Mexican people. I was like, what? What? When did that happen? I'm just over here trying to tell people about good fortune.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  And they're like, yeah, they're grabbing, they're grabbing Mexican people and the National Guards there and ba, ba, ba, TSA. Oh yeah, they're, oh yeah. What are you, you, you getting on a plane later to fly to Nashville? Oh yeah. They, the government shut down, like most of the air traffic people went home. Oh, great. Thanks. Yeah. I'm, I'm, it's okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna fly to Nashville and then get on another plane back to New York same day. Cool weekend to be on all these planes.

• 45:27Theo Von?

  Yeah. You're like, it's just the bad news bears of TSA right now.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  You got all the people that are like down to come and working for free.

• 45:33Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude. You have just like the militant guy. You have the guy who's been waiting to get in the game, like wait, like no training, but just fucking waiting to get in the-

• 45:43Speaker 02

  I fly back today. This is gonna be a really dark last interview snippet. And here's a clip where Aziz predicts.

• 45:52Theo Von?

  Oh my God, bro. That's so hilarious that there's like backup, everybody's back up right now. Like the park wardens are like, bro, welcome to the fucking park, bro. It's like, it's just like the second string, dude. He's like, dude, the owls are fucking mo- monumental right now, bro.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  We take all these people for granted.

• 46:13Theo Von?

  That's so true, huh? Well, the, the raids and stuff like that are crazy because we, they let so many people into the country, right? Like without having a pattern of like, this is an organized way to do something, right? Cause I think they need to organize it. It needs to be organized, right? Cause it's, it's odd if people are here that they live in fear that they're always gonna be like, they, you know, found out or something. And then it's odd that people are, that there's nefarious people here that don't wanna be found out, you know? So I think like they need some organization of it. But yeah, the fact that it gets like where people are being ripped out of places.

• 46:53Theo Von?

  And then you don't know also, some of these days, I, I really believe you don't know what's real and what's not when you see it sometimes. Like it could literally be a scene that was put together, like some of like the Antifa stuff you would see in the park during the pandemic and shit.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  I watched that movie, you see one battle after another?

• 47:08Theo Von?

  It's good?

• 47:08Speaker 02

  It, it's amazing, but it's, it's, it's crazy. Cause you know, he wrote that movie a long time ago and- It's like I was in Chicago and I was like, damn, this is one battle after another because, you know, in the movie, it's, it's very much like a military state and like the military is just, you know, around going and doing this kind of stuff. And it's kind of wild. The dude, you know, he's supposedly been working on a movie for like 15 years or something.

• 47:34Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  And, and it's, it's out now and this stuff is, you know, so top of mind. It's so, so in there, you know?

• 47:43Theo Von?

  Yeah. Eddington was really great. You see Eddington?

• 47:45Speaker 02

  I didn't see Eddington, but I've heard it's, it's kind of they're, they're dealing with similar stuff. I need to see that.

• 47:50Theo Von?

  Yeah. Just a lot of things happening at once.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 47:53Theo Von?

  Um, but I believe we're headed to a, a surveillance state. You know, I believe that we're, that's why they're trying.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  That, that, that happened like a long time ago.

• 48:02Theo Von?

  No, I'm talking about the drones, bro. I'm talking about drones in the sky surveillance, like that vibe.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Oh my God. I mean.

• 48:07Theo Von?

  Like that's where we're heading. Like dude, the movie I want to see, this is how I think it ends. Blacks versus drones, dude.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Black. What?

• 48:15Theo Von?

  That's how it ends, bro. That is, people are wondering, how does time, how does this all?

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Where do Indian people fit in this? Are we running, we're just running the door. Okay, that I, where, where, where, where do the Indians fit in this movie?

• 48:26Theo Von?

  Okay. We need Kyrie Irving to move over to the.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  Kyrie Irving.

• 48:29Theo Von?

  You're just like.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Was he okay? Cause he plays basketball?

• 48:32Theo Von?

  No, I mean, I'm just thinking of a cool black guy. Um, but yeah, you're like, okay. Uh, but dude, that's how it ends. Like I think you're, everybody's like, what's going on in society and like these different groups and people back and like, you know, genocide, all this stuff going on. And you're like, how does it all? And I think it's blacks versus drones.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  I don't know. But for me, any, as someone that used to live here and now comes here occasionally for work, every time I come back, it just feels wild. And it feels, I think it feels wilder to me because I think for people that are here, it's like, oh, they're slowly seeing it get crazy. So they're not going from like one to a hundred, like I do. Like, you know, my time in LA, you know, I remember.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  You know, just seeing the amount of tents and all that stuff. You know, coming, you know, going to LA and to New York after COVID. Cause during COVID, I was in London the whole time with my wife.

• 49:25Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  So coming to back to both those cities after COVID, I was like, whoa.

• 49:31Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's like a Slipknot tailgate out there now, you know? It's fucking crazy.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  You know, my wife loves Slipknot.

• 49:37Theo Von?

  You're lying.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  My wife has a PhD in physics.

• 49:41Theo Von?

  Or how?

• 49:41Speaker 02

  She's a genius. And she loves, it's like, she had this emo phase and I, I, every now and then I'll, I'll, I'll just bring up that she loves. My two favorite facts about my wife, she's gonna hate that I'm bringing this stuff up.

• 49:55Theo Von?

  No, it's important.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  One is that she loves Slipknot. And the other thing is that she was Little Miss Denmark.

• 50:04Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  That was a little competition for little kids when she was like five, six year olds and she won two years in a row and then they stopped the contest.

• 50:13Theo Von?

  No.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Cause she kept winning.

• 50:16Theo Von?

  God.

• 50:19Theo Von?

  They shut it down?

• 50:20Speaker 02

  They shut it down.

• 50:21Theo Von?

  What, they don't like somebody really stepping out of the norm there?

• 50:23Speaker 02

  I think they were just like, we should, this is, we shouldn't be doing these little pageants for these kids. And, and my wife, she said like, they would have a, you know, like, oh, you'd have the talent portion or whatever. And, and she would be like, you know, doing her dance, whatever. And they're like, all right, that's good. She's like, no, I'm not finished with my routine.

• 50:43Theo Von?

  I don't mean to be an asshole.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 50:46Theo Von?

  But I'm about to win this bitch for a third time, dude. Holy shit. She's like the Boston Celtics of those fucking Danish competitions, dude.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then, and then she had her emo phase and got really into Slipknot. Rebelled against the pageant life.

• 50:59Theo Von?

  You shut down a pageant queen like that where they can't even perform anymore? That is a direct avenue to Slipknot.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  Cory understands.

• 51:08Theo Von?

  How else do you even manage that sort of stress and strain?

• 51:15Theo Von?

  Where you gonna put those fucking pirouettes, bro? You gonna package those bitches and put them into a Slipknot mosh pit?

• 51:22Speaker 00

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• 51:52Theo Von?

  In the past, I've struggled with wanting to invest. You know, I just, I don't know enough. You hear about this and this ETF or this stock or this, this choice or this fund or this bond. It just, I just didn't know enough. I didn't have the time to do it and I got kind of fearful, I guess you'd say. Well, thankfully Acorns makes it easy to start investing like an expert. Even if you're an expert at something else other than investing. That's right, you don't need to be a finance whiz. Acorns puts your money into an expert-built portfolio to make sure you're investing wisely, not wildly. I even got my niece and nephew set up with this so they can learn how to grow their money with Acorns.

• 52:38Theo Von?

  If I needed this, this is what I would use. Right now you can sign up and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Plus Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment. Offer available at acorns.com/theo. That's A-C-O-R-N-S.com/theo to get your $20 bonus investment today.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  I didn't think we'd get into Little Miss Denmark. My wife's gonna be thrilled.

• 53:20Theo Von?

  Oh, that's awesome. I'm glad that you found love out there, man. Did you, uh, were you good with the ladies growing up? What was your energy like?

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Um, you know, I grew up in, it's weird, because I grew up in South Carolina.

• 53:33Theo Von?

  I remember every school like in the South kinda had an Indian guy. Was it like that at your school? Or was there a big Indian group?

• 53:39Speaker 02

  There's two, there's two versions of this. There's like, oh, if you're in like Atlanta or something, there's like the Indian crew. And they hang out. And then there's what I grew up with, which is like, just me. And when I was little, I kinda forget this sometimes, in like first and second grade, there was this Thai girl, and her name was Tisha, which doesn't make sense. That doesn't really sound like a Thai name, but her name was Tisha. But they left-

• 54:06Theo Von?

  Kind of a black tie affair.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Sounds like a black tie.

• 54:10Theo Von?

  It sounds like a black tie affair.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  She was Thai. And, uh, but they, they left, and then it was just me as Indian, and it's in the eighties. And, you know, it's so interesting to look back. I was thinking about this, and I had a conversation with my mom a while ago that really like blew me away. So first off, you know, as soon as I tell people I grew up in South Carolina, they're always like, oh, must've been so racist, all this stuff. And of course, there's, there's moments where it wasn't nice and, and whatever.

• 54:38Theo Von?

  Like people calling you almost N-word or something like that?

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Oh, N-word, not almost.

• 54:42Theo Von?

  Oh, really?

• 54:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:43Theo Von?

  Well, those people are nearsighted or whatever.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 54:46Theo Von?

  That's crazy.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  But there was also, I feel like, you know, there was a time I was writing something, and I asked my parents to just tell me, like, I didn't wanna write stuff about people being racist to, to people. I wanted to write something positive. So I was like, tell me things you remember that were positive, like experiences you had, you know, being someone. Because, you know, my parents are there in the eighties.

• 55:08Theo Von?

  Yeah, it was different for sure.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  They don't, people there didn't even know what Indian people were. They didn't see them in the culture. They didn't see nothing. They didn't understand-

• 55:17Theo Von?

  It looks like a black person that they didn't finish the job on or whatever.

• 55:23Theo Von?

  Kind of, you know, no judgment.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  That, let's just make sure that quote is attributed to you.

• 55:27Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, for sure, dude. But I think it's like, because sometimes you do see that Indian dude, you're like, is this a black dude or an Indian dude?

• 55:37Speaker 02

  But we're joking, but it is what people were saying. They had never seen Indian people before.

• 55:43Theo Von?

  Yes, I agree.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  And they were not in the media or anything. And so my experience, you know, I'm talking about the positive stuff. First off, I skipped first and second grade. I did first and second grade in one year. So people were like, people were like, oh my God, this genius little brown boy.

• 55:58Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  And, and so I was like, I had, and I, I was in a small school. There was like 30 kids in my class. There's 8,000 people that live in my town. Um, but, but, uh, you know, I was raised by my parents, but, uh,

• 56:11Theo Von?

  And first grade's fucking easy, dude.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  First grade is easy. My dad would like show me.

• 56:15Theo Von?

  The fact that it takes a whole year, you're like, what the fuck are we doing here?

• 56:18Speaker 02

  My dad would like write little math problems and stuff for me. So I was really advanced in like math and stuff. So in the middle of first grade. Yeah, no, it's, it's, yeah, you, you should be able to teach your kid all that stuff before they get to school.

• 56:28Theo Von?

  You can tap into like classrooms and watch. It's like, this is so fucking easy, dude. I wish you had a ring camera in there and just be giving the kids the answers and shit.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  What?

• 56:35Theo Von?

  It's yellow. If they had like one of those ring cameras, you could talk in like a children's class or whatever.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  I mean, back then, no ring camera. Just had my dad teaching me stuff. So by the time I was like halfway through first grade, they called my parents, they're like, this is, you gotta get him out of here. He's, he's gotta go up to second grade. And so I went to second grade and that was like this big story in the school that some kid had skipped a grade.

• 56:58Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's like when LeBron left Miami.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  It was exactly like LeBron. I was like LeBron with like very elementary math problems.

• 57:06Theo Von?

  Yeah, LeBron man.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly. And, uh, but, you know, when I was thinking back about my childhood and time with my parents and, and You know, there was these two ladies that took care of us. First off, I was talking to my mom and she's talking about how when she came to South Carolina, my dad had been in America, he was in New Jersey doing his residency. Then he went back to India, married my mom, and then they came to South Carolina, where my dad moved, because he applied for these jobs all over the country, and in South Carolina, they didn't have a lot of the doctor he was, he was gastroenterologist. So then they moved to South Carolina. My mom comes to South Carolina. This woman's never left India like this.

• 57:46Theo Von?

  Fuck, that's crazy, dude.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  She's in Bennettsville, South Carolina. Not like, "Oh, you're in New York City." No, Bennettsville, South Carolina. And my dad brings her home, and then he has to go to work. And I asked my mom, I was like, you know, "What was that day like?" And she was like, and I put this in my show, she said, "Oh, I just sat on the couch and I cried." And I was like, "Oh, my God, it's so dark." It was like, so much braver than I could be, you know? I mean, there's no FaceTime, none of that, you're really alone.

• 58:14Theo Von?

  There's cable television.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I'm talking about like, to have a connection with your family or anything, there's no way to communicate.

• 58:20Theo Von?

  You're just praying and like lighting candles and putting those oranges in that little thing.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  There's no, even like making a long-distance call was a different thing back then.

• 58:28Theo Von?

  Yeah, it was like $11.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was not the way it is now, where you could, you know, so she was really alone, but she used to go and do laundry all the time to just be around other people. And there was some lady there, an older white lady that recognized that, you know, became, saw her with me.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  And became friendly with her. And they called her grandma. I don't know the woman's real name, actually. And I called her grandma. And she would take care of me and like, kind of looked out for our family. And she eventually, I think she moved or something, or whatever, but she couldn't take care of us anymore. And this woman...

• 59:13Speaker 02

  Who we called Nana, that's what her grandkids called her. She started taking care of us. And then there was this woman named Ms. Beulah, who would take care of us after school.

• 59:22Theo Von?

  She had some tits on her, I bet.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  Ms. Beulah, rest in peace. I'm not gonna comment on that.

• 59:28Theo Von?

  She passed away, my bad. I didn't know that, and I hope.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Let's not. But Ms. Beulah, as you might guess from the name Beulah, black woman from the South, and would cook the meanest southern food for us. So I would eat Indian food and southern food. And so Nana, Ms. Beulah were part of my life. And, you know, I had a sister that passed away. And she was a few years younger than me, and she had a very rare, she had something called Hurler syndrome. It's a super rare liver disease. Sorry, that's obviously a little heavy for me, but.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  So, she passed away.

• 1:00:16Theo Von?

  What's her name?

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Her name is Nafis.

• 1:00:17Theo Von?

  Nafis, that's a pretty name, huh?

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she passed away. And Nana, Nana passed away a few years ago when I was in college. It was a while ago now. And, you know, I didn't get a chance to. Ms. Beulah, I got to say a proper goodbye to. I went and saw her when she was staying in retirement home. Nana, I didn't have that same moment I was in college. And it wasn't the same kind of thing where I had that opportunity to say bye.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  But my mom had told me that she went to go see,

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  visit my sister at cemetery. And, you know, my sister's buried in South Carolina, in Bennettsville. And, you know, that is a tricky thing, because my family's from a Muslim background, and they wanted to do, they were asking the cemetery, can we do the things we do for our culture? And the cemetery was like, yeah, of course, whatever you need to do. Which is so cool to me, that they were open to that. And the whole community, you know, were visiting our family and everything.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  I remember even like a priest came by to just, you know, even though we were a different religion, he came and like wanted to talk to us and stuff and everyone was just so kind about it. And, and um, my mom told me that she went to go see uh, my sister at the cemetery. And she said, oh, and we saw Nana too. I was like, what do you mean? She's like, well, Nana's buried right next to her.

• 1:01:56Theo Von?

  No.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  And I just, I like melted as a human because I, I, I did not know that.

• 1:02:04Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  And, and to me like, I heard that and, and I was like, wow, like, you know, I was saying all this stuff about crazy this country is and how crazy it feels right now. But that story, that doesn't happen anywhere else in the world, man. Like those two people, my sister and this woman.

• 1:02:25Theo Von?

  That befriended you guys?

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. Have that close a bond where she's like, I, I want to be buried next to her? I mean, it was, it was, I did not know that. And, and, and you know, I, I, I heard that and I was like, I, I, I don't know why it popped in my head, but I'm so glad it did and that I got to share that with you because I, I heard that story. And I was like, man, people need to hear that story because it's not the story people.

• 1:02:50Theo Von?

  Want to tell. Oh, it's not the story that the media wants to tell. It's not a story that.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  It's a story that doesn't really get the clicks.

• 1:02:57Theo Von?

  But it's a story that's probably, it's the truth that most people, that the human part of us is what makes us special. And that's the part that we should all try and lean into the most is that we're this special thing that can care about each other, you know?

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, the, the, the fact that these people saw my parents and, and, and, and tried to forge this bond with them and I mean. I I hope we're still a place where that kinda stuff can happen.

• 1:03:31Theo Von?

  I think it happens a lot. I think you're just right. I think it's not the like the new it's not the news, you know? But I think it is more common probably than we think.

• 1:03:42Theo Von?

  Thanks for sharing that dude. It is an important story. That's a great story.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Oof, sorry.

• 1:03:48Theo Von?

  Did your sister have it the whole time when she was growing up, when she was from birth?

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was it was one of these things where you know the life expectancy with that uh hurlers is not um it's not very long. She passed when she was like six, eight years old.

• 1:04:03Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:04Theo Von?

  And was she um?

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  And it's one of these days I I don't really talk about it very much and a lot of people even that know me don't know I had a sister because people would ask me like, oh, you have any siblings? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I got a little brother. And and I had a sister that passed away and I would say it like that and then people like, ah, like it's a very like heavy thing to hear all of a sudden. And so I was like, oh, I don't wanna make people uncomfortable. So I'll just say, oh, I I have a little brother. And then they'll be like, what's you guys' gap? Oh, uh, he's seven years old. Wow, that's a big gap. Uh, yeah, I'm gonna not go down this thing cuz I don't wanna bum everybody out cuz we're all just hanging out at Chick-fil-A right now.

• 1:04:45Theo Von?

  Sitting there tapping her foot like, what are we doing here? No, dude, that's um my sister was born with a rare liver disease and she had to get a liver transplant when we were kids. So we spent most of our childhood like um you know, she was always this thing that we couldn't touch cuz she always had to have these surgeries and stuff. So I think it just reminds me like a lot of that. I think some of that kinda that stuff. You know, I think it's just interesting when you grow up with a sibling that's sick because I think it I never even thought about it till you were saying some of this. It just like,

• 1:05:15Theo Von?

  I don't know, you have to adjust yourself, I think, to try and maybe

• 1:05:21Theo Von?

  like my sister got most of the care, right? But she needed most of it. So it was weird. So there were times where I'd be like, I don't, you know, later on in life, I'd be like, oh, I didn't get this care, but it was like, I didn't need it the most, you know?

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  What was you guys' age difference?

• 1:05:35Theo Von?

  Um, two years. And she's still alive. She ended up getting a liver transplant. She got one of the first liver transplants in um we moved to Arizona, she got it out there and but um

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  That's incredible.

• 1:05:45Theo Von?

  But it was just this whole time when she was a kid, she was always being flown off to these places and they sounded magical, like Rochester, Minnesota, just different places where there's these big hospitals and she'd come back like this, like. Almost like this Build-A-Bear that somebody done a shitty job with, you know what I'm saying? Like, just all these scars and stuff.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:06:02Theo Von?

  But it was just, she was always just, it was weird because you like, couldn't hold it. It was just like, it was interesting. Did you have any experience like that with your sister, or what was it like?

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  There wasn't that kind of, um, there wasn't like all these things to try because, uh, the hurlers is pretty, they don't really have a thing. You know, there's like, you know, oh, you can maybe do a bone trans, bone marrow transplant and, but it was, it's not really a thing they've made much progress on. So, there was never anything like that. And, I don't know, it's, it's interesting talking to you about this because, because you think about,

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  it's like when you're a kid, it, it's so hard to understand what's happening. You have no frame of reference.

• 1:06:47Theo Von?

  Totally.

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  And you know, when I look back on that stuff as, as an adult, I, I can't imagine how hard it was for my parents.

• 1:06:53Theo Von?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  Like, you know, to, to, to have a child that has something like that and then to, to lose a child. It's, it's, you know, I, I can't, it's strange to like step outside of yourself. And honestly, this is like some of the most I've talked about it with anybody.

• 1:07:12Theo Von?

  And I don't mean to pry about it, it's just...

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  And there's also a thing in the, no, not at all. I don't think prying at all and I, I think it's really interesting that, you know, you had something, your sister had something as well and, and, um, but you know, there's a thing with like Indian families and, you know, and maybe it's, it's a lot of families in that time. It's like, you don't talk about stuff.

• 1:07:33Theo Von?

  Oh really? Is that like an Indian thing kinda?

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  I think there's something of like, oh, you're not as open about your feelings and stuff. And you're just a little bit more closed off. I think so, yeah, with Asian families, Indian families, I think with, with emotional stuff like that, you know?

• 1:07:48Theo Von?

  But you guys do reincarnation, so you can, you're probably just like, oh, we can have the feelings later, we can have this...

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  That's, that's in Hinduism, that's a different thing, but...

• 1:07:55Theo Von?

  Oh really? Fuck.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:56Theo Von?

  So you guys are one time only?

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Islam, it's the same as Christianity, it's, you know, in terms of that stuff. As far as I know, I'm not a super religious guy, but yes, that's the, the reincarnation is just in Hindu culture.

• 1:08:09Theo Von?

  Dang, so you guys are one and done, huh?

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  I mean, so is a lot of people.

• 1:08:15Theo Von?

  Okay, I'm just saying, yeah, but yeah.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  Man, this got really, we really went for a heavy turn after micro donkeys.

• 1:08:23Theo Von?

  It's okay.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  This is, you're teared up over here, I'm teared up, but it's, it's, it's good to talk about the stuff and, and, and, um, you know, it's, it's, it's so strange to think back about,

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  you know, those times and, um,

• 1:08:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, to think about your parents.

• 1:08:41Speaker 02

  Everything my family went through, especially my parents, you know?

• 1:08:44Theo Von?

  I know, I never think about that, I always think about things, this is one place that I kind of like struggle with, I think. A lot of times I'll think about certain periods and things that happened and I'll only think about it like as to how it affected me. And it's like, man, to get into that place of where you're even thinking like, well, how did this affect my parents? Like, I was eating dinner with some friends yesterday. And in the background, she has like these four kids and they're beautiful kids, they have the cutest kids. And they're all going haywire and I, it was the first time I thought, holy shit, my mom had four kids and nobody to fucking help, like there was, and it was, can you imagine what that would be like these days?

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  That sounds impossible.

• 1:09:23Theo Von?

  Impossible. And our parents were able to do that kind of stuff, but it was the first time that I like even had a perspective moment like that that was that clear, you know?

• 1:09:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I, I, just, just.

• 1:09:35Theo Von?

  So for you to have that, I think is pretty cool that you think like, oh, how mu, what my parents must have went through, you know? Cause it's like, yeah, it's like, for us, it's a sibling, but for them, it's like, you know, it's probably something that feels far greater, you know?

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:49Theo Von?

  Anyway, I didn't mean to delve into that, man.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  No, no, I, I'm glad we did and I, I think it's a really interesting thing to talk about and, and, and for me, I, I, you know, um,

• 1:09:58Theo Von?

  I bet you'd be so proud of you.

• 1:10:03Speaker 02

  You know who I think about sometimes is there was, do you know the Comic Strip? Comic Strip Live in New York?

• 1:10:09Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  You know that club?

• 1:10:12Theo Von?

  Yep.

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  That was the first club I ever got passed at. And there was a guy, his name was Lucian Hold. And he was the guy that would pass you. You know, you've heard of like Esti at the Cellar. He was like Esti at the Cellar. He was the guy.

• 1:10:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, there's always that person.

• 1:10:24Speaker 02

  There's always a person that was the gatekeeper. And I went in there when I was like 18. And what was cool about the Comic Strip was they had a thing where anybody could audition. Like you just lined up and then you could audition.

• 1:10:38Theo Von?

  Which is kinda crazy.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  Which is like, because you know, I don't know if this was your experience when you started out, but it's like you just wanted a shot, right?

• 1:10:45Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  You just wanted a shot. And the idea that you could be a regular at the comic club. I remember I used to go to the Comedy Cellar. And I'd just be like, oh, my God, could you imagine just getting spots here? Could you imagine just how amazing it would be to get spots? That was my dream.

• 1:11:00Theo Von?

  I know. You're so right.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  And so I went to the Comic Strip. They had this, you know, open call, like you just had to wait in line and then you'd pick from a, I believe what would do is you'd pick from a lottery and it would give you a date.

• 1:11:13Theo Von?

  A date?

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, like they would do on Mondays, they'd have a certain number of people that were from this audition.

• 1:11:19Theo Von?

  That's cool.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  So I picked a date and then I showed up. And you went through this one woman. And if she said, okay, you can see Lucian, you'd audition for Lucian. And so I got through it. And then I auditioned for Lucian. And, you know, you wait around, you wait around. All these kinds of things. Even like SNL, you hear these stories, people like, yeah, you just wait around. They just make you wait around. And then he spoke to me at the end and he was like, he was like, you could start working at the club. And I was like, oh. And I was terrible. I was not good. But I was like very young and I was very comfortable on stage. And he told me, he was like, you know, when people your age come in here, he was like, you're still at NYU, right? And I was like, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  He said, you know, Adam Sandler was at NYU when I passed him. And so was Sarah Silverman. And I was like, oh, wow. I mean, I remember I said, oh, wow, it'd be amazing if I had a career like that. He's like, I don't know if that's in the cards for you, but you could, he was, he was like the most straight shooting guy. I mean, there's very few people that are honest like that that I've met in my 20 something years.

• 1:12:27Theo Von?

  I know.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  He was the guy that was like that. And he was like, "I don't know if that's uh..." It was not an impression of him, but he was like, "I don't know if that's something that's in the cards for you, but you could start working in the club." And I would do uh... You would do like Late Night, which is like uh... They'd have the show and then you could sign up to go on at the end of the show. So there'd be like, "Nobody there." I'd do that all the time.

• 1:12:51Theo Von?

  For sure, but getting up on stage, even just that walking up. When you're coming up, if there's six people there, it feels like a million people.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  You're so excited.

• 1:13:01Theo Von?

  The feeling that is, the energy, that the fear and that energy and that nervous, it feels like a million.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  And sometimes, I mean, and I'll say this, and you're gonna light up because you'll know this feeling. Sometimes someone on the bill like that was supposed to be on at like 9 o'clock wouldn't show up. And they'd pull someone from Late Night. And so you'd get to go on.

• 1:13:22Theo Von?

  When people were still there!

• 1:13:24Speaker 02

  Still there, yes. And I remember one time...

• 1:13:27Theo Von?

  Like, "I'm gonna show these bitches," that's what I would say. I had kind of an aggressive nature, but go on.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it was like this kinda like, "Oh, I'm gonna get to prove myself a little bit." But um, one time, I remember Chris Rock dropped in and I went after, went on after him. And like, everybody was, everyone's like, "Oh, Chris Rock just went on." They just all started leaving. And I told Chris the story the other day. I was like, "I forgot this. I forgot." I mean, and now he's my fucking friend. It's the craziest thing in the world to me. Um, but Lucian, he had a disease called uh, Skelederma. I don't know why I'm saying the disease he had, but anyway, he passed away.

• 1:14:02Theo Von?

  Is that ashy skin? No, sorry.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  It's like a skin problem. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what it is exactly, but um...

• 1:14:06Theo Von?

  Skelederma.

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  This dude stopped looking up stuff because it's gotten too dark. The stuff we're talking, he's like, "I'm not gonna pull up this stuff on Wikipedia. It's too dark." He's like, "Oh, I don't think it's appropriate. I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna let this be." "I'll wait till they start talking about mini cows again. I can pull up those cute pictures."

• 1:14:25Theo Von?

  He has like a whole, he has a whole barrel full of...

• 1:14:27Speaker 02

  You know, maybe I do bring it up because if someone wants to donate to his fund or whatever. So Lucian had this disease and we knew he was passing away and I went and visited him. And it was like that movie Being Mortal, you know, it was like, I knew he was passing away. I knew this was probably... Our last conversation and um he and dude this dude passed away all you know Chris spoke at his funeral. Um I think Seinfeld may have said something. I can't remember. I remember I went to the funeral and I was like a little kid. I remember I like went and like was crying in the bathroom and stuff because this dude was the first dude ever to genuinely believe that I could do something in our world. The the first person to say, hey, I'm gonna give you

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  and it was like fucking 10 bucks or whatever, but he was like, I believe in the idea of paying you to tell jokes. And and he um we had that a conversation and and uh I remember he said something to me and he he talked about some comic that he used to know that went to LA and um not like a super successful guy, but a guy that did okay. And he was like, you know, he said this guy told him that he was in LA and he said that uh that's Lucian. Yes, that's Lucian Hold. Uh yeah, but all I mean, he's he's like, you know, if you talk to guys like

• 1:15:45Theo Von?

  They love him?

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they remember him from back in the day like

• 1:15:48Theo Von?

  He was a character.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  He he he's the guy that passed, you know, Eddie Murphy and like the famous story of of Chris Rock is like Eddie Murphy was at the club. And uh he asked Lucian, do you have any, do you have any uh black comics? And uh he said, yeah, I got one. I'll put him up if you'll watch him. And it was Chris Rock.

• 1:16:08Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  And then Eddie Murphy watched him and then put him in in Beverly Hills Cop 2. But anyway.

• 1:16:13Theo Von?

  Dude, that's so great, though.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  It was it's a huge deal. It's a huge amount of validation because it's it's I I can't really explain. It's still like when I think of all the things I've done in my career, it's still I I was excited as about that. I mean, dude, I I it was like, I think it was like 10 years ago. I did Madison Square Garden. I, it was a similar feeling to get past.

• 1:16:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  You know, and, um, but anyway, he told me the story about some guy in, in LA. And he said, that guy told him like, you know, there's all these idiots in LA and, and, and if, if they're able to do it, I can do it too, something to that extent, like, and, uh, it was a more, said it more eloquent than that, I'm not doing it justice, but he basically said to me, you're gonna be okay. And he left me with that and it was really cool.

• 1:17:03Theo Von?

  Lucian did?

• 1:17:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, he said, you're gonna be okay. Like, you're a smart guy and you're gonna be okay. And, um, I mean, I, I've been fortunate enough and I think I'm, I mean, that was when I was a little kid, you know, I hadn't done anything really and, and, you know, I, I feel like I've been fortunate enough in my career to, to be, uh, more than okay, uh, and done a lot of great things I never would have thought possible when I was, you know, interacting with Lucian and, um, you know, one of my, not regrets or, I don't know, not, uh, just, just one of my, uh, oh, man, kind of feelings is that like, oh, this guy that was the first guy to believe in me.

• 1:17:46Theo Von?

  To see me, yeah.

• 1:17:47Speaker 02

  Didn't get to see that how far I really went, you know? And, and weird, I'm sorry, I feel like I'm like taking up too much of your time.

• 1:17:54Theo Von?

  No, this is good. Well, you're a great storyteller, I'm realizing. That's honestly one thing I've realized sitting here and, uh, and I can see why you're able to do what you do even more, like writing your movies and knowing like, yeah, saying how streamlined it is. I'm enjoying it. So go on, sorry.

• 1:18:09Speaker 02

  You know, it's, uh, I, I, I was in a cab one time in London and I was like, it's weird, cause once you become successful, it's weird when you drop into a comedy club, everyone goes nuts and, and everything's a little sweeter, cause they're excited, cause you're famous. And I, I was in a cab with my wife in, in London and I, and someone was like, tell, tell us about this thing or whatever. And I told, I talked about this whole story of something that happened to us. And when I left, the cab driver said, hey.

• 1:18:42Speaker 02

  Really good storyteller. And I was like, holy shit. That was like winning an Emmy for me. Because I was like, that guy has no clue who I am. And he, he went out of his way to tell me that. That, that made me feel really good.

• 1:18:56Theo Von?

  Was he an Indian guy?

• 1:18:57Speaker 02

  No, why would he be Indian Theo?

• 1:18:59Theo Von?

  Racism.

• 1:19:00Speaker 02

  He, he was like a black guy that was fully finished.

• 1:19:03Theo Von?

  Okay, okay. Okay.

• 1:19:05Speaker 02

  He was a fully finished black guy. He was a black guy.

• 1:19:10Theo Von?

  I love, I mean, I love race stuff. It's fun to joke about and think about because it's so different and it's fun, you know?

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  Well, that, that's I think.

• 1:19:17Theo Von?

  But that's a, you're right, man, sorry. But yes, somebody telling you a great storyteller. It's so funny. It's sometimes it's that one word or one thing. It's like.

• 1:19:24Speaker 02

  And you get it from someone that doesn't know anything. Because sometimes you feel like, ah, man, like, not like, oh, people. You feel like, I don't know how much of this is sweetened up because of whatever. And, and, and, and it's very frustrating because I don't think anyone that's successful like that wants any of that. But, you know, you, you get a little bit of that when you, you drop in and you're working on material and, and, you know, when you're on stage for a while, eventually people care.

• 1:19:47Theo Von?

  That's the worst part. You're like, is this even good? And you're like, are you just getting unfair reactions? But then hopefully if you're self-aware enough and that judge inside of you, that little part of you that's always hated you is still lurking around.

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  You gotta have that guy in there.

• 1:20:00Theo Von?

  That guy needs to be there.

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  That guy needs to be there. And if he's there, you, you know, because, you know, all of your people, oh, man, it's, it's your best hour. It's like, it's, it's getting there.

• 1:20:08Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:20:09Speaker 02

  You gotta have that little guy and you gotta have that little guy. And look, that's, that's, you know, whether it's a movie or stand-up show, like, you know, screening a movie, it's like, yeah, people don't lie eventually. Like, they'll, they'll be sweet for a little bit, but eventually they are like, all right, come on. You know, they, that, that drops after a few minutes.

• 1:20:26Theo Von?

  Yeah. And if you start smoking your own bullshit too, that's when it can get really spooky.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  Oh, that's, that's when you gotta make sure you, you know, I, I, I've been around people enough to be like, oh, that, when you start having a bunch of people around you that tell you you're awesome, that's when everything starts falling apart.

• 1:20:42Theo Von?

  Have you ever had ego problems? You ever had anything like that? Like, or have you ever had to check your own ego, kind of, type of things? Because ego is so dangerous because it can kind of grow in the distance. It's almost like something that you don't see growing. It's almost like you're standing there with your shadow and then your shadow gets bigger without you noticing it, you know?

• 1:20:58Speaker 02

  You know, I think.

• 1:21:01Speaker 02

  I think the way I I hopefully have been able to avoid that kind of problem is is um I'm not around all the time, you know what I mean? I kind of go away in a hole and work on stuff. This is like the most shit I've done. I haven't I haven't been on your podcast, I haven't been on anybody's podcast, I haven't done anything. I've just been working. And, you know, being back out in in in kind of

• 1:21:23Theo Von?

  The wild?

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, in the kind of press world, it's been kind of a little overwhelming for me. I get very overwhelmed. Whenever I finished like season one and two of my show, like whenever it came on Netflix, like I left the country because I was just a little bit, it was just too much for me. Like I went to uh, I went to Japan for a couple of months because like I

• 1:21:44Theo Von?

  Really for months? Did you see Kanye or not?

• 1:21:47Speaker 02

  He wasn't there at the time, but you know, I I I wanted to be somewhere where people didn't really know who I was. It was, it felt a bit, it it can be a little overwhelming, like that that part of our jobs of of red carpets and interviews, it it's a lot.

• 1:22:00Theo Von?

  Yeah, I've never done a lot of that stuff, so I I that part I don't know about, but I can imagine though.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  But, you know, it I I'm here and I've been doing all this stuff. I love doing this because we're just having a great conversation. Um, not everything is this fun. Um, but, you know, I do it because I I I feel like it's a part of the job and I got to support the work and the studio that paid for the movie and everything, so I do it, but it's it's not my, I I I like the work. I mean, all I'm looking forward to is getting back on

• 1:22:28Theo Von?

  To work.

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  Getting back to work, like doing, like being on set with some people and and and being like, hey, do this. Or, you know, I'm I'm going back on the road for a little bit, like being on the road, like that, that is a billion times more fun um than some of the stuff you have to do excluding like this. And I I actually like that podcasts are a thing now because I did Amy Poehler's podcast. That was so fun.

• 1:22:49Theo Von?

  She's so great.

• 1:22:50Speaker 02

  She's great. I hadn't seen her in a while and I was like, oh, man, I'm just excited to like be with you for an hour and change because I hadn't seen you in so long, but

• 1:22:57Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, thanks for making me think about We had a guy named Tommy at the Comedy Store and I, and he was like the guy and he's like this character.

• 1:23:05Speaker 02

  I've heard his name, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:06Theo Von?

  And people impersonated him all the time.

• 1:23:09Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:23:10Theo Von?

  And he really was, he had this long hair and he looked like a rock and roll guy and I believe he was, I think he also played in a band. And, um, and he made jellies and jams and he would bring those, he was this very eh eh like eccentric type of guy.

• 1:23:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:23Theo Von?

  Um, but he took care of Mitzi, sure, but he would be the guy and he'd sit there and he'd open little curtains of the, the little wheel call booth, had little curtains on it. And he'd be like, you're doing good. But I happened to, I went to the Comedy Store one time, I was trying to find out how do they do signups, I remember. And I was buying a beer on the porch and he thought I was somebody else, he's like, haven't seen you around here in a while. You know, we miss you coming around. And, uh, I was like, yeah, I, and he goes, why don't you come in, come back in on Sunday, man, I'm gonna, I wanna, I wanna see you back up there. And he fucking had me confused with somebody.

• 1:23:58Speaker 02

  Whoa, and did you do the other spot?

• 1:23:59Theo Von?

  Yeah, you did the spot.

• 1:24:01Speaker 02

  And did you put your name down or?

• 1:24:02Theo Von?

  No, I just, I, I, I, I didn't even think about that. And I just kept fucking doing this.

• 1:24:08Speaker 02

  And how'd your set go?

• 1:24:09Theo Von?

  And it went good enough where I got to keep going, but it was. But before that, for sure, I went and signed up and waited outside and there's like a guy that's ju- practicing juggling, who can't even talk and he's like telling his jokes through like, like bowling pins and shit, it's like, there's all types of stuff, there's somebody training a bird or whatever and he's like barely trained it and he's like trying to train it really fast in the parking lot, it's like, you cannot train a, train a bird really fast.

• 1:24:32Speaker 02

  But this is the same thing I was talking about earlier, it's so interesting to me that, you know, comedy comedians were all having, you know, this is a crazy moment to be a comedian and people are having such overwhelming amounts of success, but at the end of the day, like, all of us started just wanting a room full of people, just a crowd. And to be able to perform.

• 1:24:52Theo Von?

  Yeah. Well, you know, one, one thing that was great about, uh, Good Fortune, dude, and, and I haven't finished it, but I really, I like it and I'm excited to see the end of it.

• 1:25:01Speaker 02

  It's not that long a movie, by the way.

• 1:25:03Theo Von?

  But I didn't get home last night until probably 11:30.

• 1:25:06Speaker 02

  No, I'm just saying for people that are worried that it's like a four hour.

• 1:25:09Theo Von?

  It's an hour and a half movie. Um, but it's good, dude. The, the, there were so many, like, start, there started to be some really good plot changes for me that I really dug, like, right around the spot where I'm at. Um, where the, you think it's gonna go one way and now it starts to change up and then, I don't wanna give too much away, but one thing that was really amazing about it, and my friend was watching with me, uh, was that you felt of how tough it is that first year or two in LA. You felt of like, like when, uh, your character's sleeping in his car, right?

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Theo Von?

  Or like when there's DoorDash delivery and just like the jobs you get when you first get to a big city to try to survive. The parking tickets and how you lose your car, you just come out of a place you barely had enough money to go get some avocados. It was the one thing you were treating yourself to this week. It was like two avocados, I'mma cut those bitches up and I'm gonna eat those bitches, right? And then I'mma go to sleep, right? You were so excited and you come out and your fucking car has been towed because you didn't pay tickets. All that shit, dude. My friend and I slept in the McDonald's ball pit. We would jump the fence and sleep in that fucking ball pit.

• 1:26:15Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:26:15Theo Von?

  Because it was like kind of some more space to lay out, right? Like if you got under the balls. There's hair in there, there's coins under there. But it is, there's a little bit more room for your body than like, cause we tried to sleep in his car one night and it was just a nightmare. But going through all of that, yeah. And there is, the hair goes to the bottom, which I don't understand how that works. That's science. But, uh, and yeah, they should do a sh- they should see what's in the bottom of a lot of these. It's not good. But yeah, we, we would jump over the fence and, and sleep in one that, you know, that, that closed at 10, we'd get in and just get five, five hours of sleep or something, you know?

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

• 1:26:51Theo Von?

  I could relate. No, it was awesome. It was fucking great stories. One night we're in there, dude, we're talking shit to each other, laughing and stuff, and a fucking Asian guy's on the slide, he's asleep.

• 1:27:02Speaker 02

  He saw the slide.

• 1:27:03Theo Von?

  He pipes up.

• 1:27:04Speaker 02

  He's very, very exposed.

• 1:27:06Theo Von?

  No, like in one of those high slides where there was room where you could kind of get, uh, you know, it was encompassed. He was in the best spot.

• 1:27:13Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:27:14Theo Von?

  Yes, he was in one of the tubes.

• 1:27:16Speaker 02

  Oh, damn. That's better than the ball pit. That's a pro move.

• 1:27:19Theo Von?

  Yeah, and he even came up to the window. It was like a little hamster showing up, dude. Pretty fucking dope. But dude, that was like, but I forget, you forget about all the pieces of the things and the moments that like were so big.

• 1:27:33Speaker 02

  And that was in LA?

• 1:27:34Theo Von?

  And that was in LA. And I think we all.

• 1:27:36Speaker 02

  Which McDonald's in LA?

• 1:27:37Theo Von?

  Uh, it's on Wilshire Boulevard, like Wilshire and.

• 1:27:40Speaker 02

  Does that Asian guy have a podcast now too? I hope he does.

• 1:27:43Theo Von?

  I don't think it's Ronnie Chang.

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  You know, I was doing a, uh, I was doing a, uh, one of those shows at the Comedy Cellar where people don't know who's gonna show up. It was like, surprise headliner. And it's just me working on stuff. And I walked by the line and some lady goes, "Oh, I hope it's not Ronnie Chang."

• 1:28:02Theo Von?

  Oh, really?

• 1:28:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then I found out that it's because she'd been to another one of these and it was Ronnie Chang.

• 1:28:09Theo Von?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:28:10Speaker 02

  And, and, and we talked about it in the show, but it wasn't because she doesn't like, all love to Ronnie Chang. I love Ronnie Chang.

• 1:28:15Theo Von?

  Dude, I just got to see him last week. I bumped into him. I went into the Comedy, Comedy Cellar.

• 1:28:20Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:21Theo Von?

  Just stopped there and he was in there. It was awesome, dude. Just to get to see him. He is great.

• 1:28:24Speaker 02

  But I just thought it was such a funny thing to hear.

• 1:28:26Theo Von?

  He's got some great specials too, if you haven't seen him. I, I gotta get him to come in and talk sometime.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. He, he's great, but I, I just thought it was funny to walk by and hear that.

• 1:28:32Theo Von?

  That's so funny, dude.

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:35Theo Von?

  But yeah, that's one thing I loved about Good Fortune. Uh, you and Seth Rogen are just, you guys are buddies, I guess it is. Work buddies.

• 1:28:42Speaker 02

  We'd spoke about this movie and, you know, if anyone listening is gonna see the movie, please, you know, see it in a theater with the crowd, because we were talking about these movies like.

• 1:28:52Theo Von?

  I think it's worth it for sure. It definitely felt like a real movie to me. It didn't feel like some forced shit, you know? I know like they're like, you know, sometimes you get these movies and it's like, uh. You know, they're getting felt shit feels forced or too fake or like it's not real. I didn't feel any of that.

• 1:29:06Speaker 02

  Oh, thanks.

• 1:29:06Theo Von?

  I didn't feel like any pandering for some like social causes or any shit like that.

• 1:29:11Speaker 02

  No, I was just trying to be very real.

• 1:29:11Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:12Speaker 02

  And, um, and very funny and, and you know.

• 1:29:14Theo Von?

  It's good, dude. I'm fucking excited about finishing it.

• 1:29:16Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:29:16Theo Von?

  Cause your character starts to get like, what the fuck? I thought he was great. And then he's like, but you see the different parts of us that can come out and come to the surface.

• 1:29:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:25Theo Von?

  When different things like are attached to us.

• 1:29:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. But when we were making the movie, Seth and I would talk about like, you know, how we'd go to movie theaters and see movies like Anchorman or Superbad or, you know, Pineapple Express and, and, and you'd have like a room. It'd be like a stand-up show, you know, like a room full of people erupting. And, you know, it's like what we feel when you do stand-up. Like if we did stand-up and there was only like one person in the crowd, that's not the same thing. Like the people make a difference. So like seeing a movie, a comedy in theaters, it's something that's kind of gone away after the pandemic and everything. And, and, um, I, I hope we can bring it back. I mean, we were just in Chicago last night and we, we screened the movie. We've been doing these like little secret screenings and, and I've been sitting in a little bit and watching it. I'm like, I don't even remember the last time I've been in a packed theater watching a comedy.

• 1:30:09Speaker 02

  So I, I, I hope the movie works and that people get to make more comedies and they get to see them in theaters. Cause you know, it's something that I miss and, um, yeah, I mean, especially cause our movie's like an original movie. A comedy, theatrical, it's tough to get it done.

• 1:30:25Theo Von?

  I mean, I really, I'm not even lying or joking or pandering to you or to our.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  No, I appreciate it.

• 1:30:30Theo Von?

  Fans, I wouldn't say that. I think it's worth going to see. I think if you took a date or a friend or your buddy, you guys would have a good time. It would be worth your money. It'd be worth driving over there and sitting in there. So far, and I'm not even done with it unless it gets really bad in the second half.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  The back end, oh man, the, the back end's great. We'd have to talk about it afterwards. Cause it really relates to a lot of the things, some of the stuff we were talking about earlier. Some of the emotional things we were talking about in terms of just, just kind of seeing other people and seeing what they're going through and just kind of giving them a look, you know? I, I was thinking about that when my mom was telling me that story, but yeah.

• 1:31:01Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, that was a great story, man. Do you feel like, why do you feel like you have to do so much? Cause this is something I've struggled with in my own life, like I

• 1:31:12Speaker 02

  I think I need to have a kid or something because I, I feel like as I've gotten older, you know, I do things like, oh yeah, I, you know, I was

• 1:31:21Theo Von?

  You're so prolific, you've done so many TV shows, you've written, you've directed, you've won, haven't you won an Emmy before?

• 1:31:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, one, one, two Emmys.

• 1:31:28Theo Von?

  Damn, brother, gang.

• 1:31:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:31Theo Von?

  But I'm just saying like, and sorry, I don't know, I don't know a lot about that.

• 1:31:34Speaker 02

  Oh, it's fine.

• 1:31:35Theo Von?

  But, uh, but

• 1:31:37Speaker 02

  But doing too much

• 1:31:38Theo Von?

  Why do you have, do you, do you ever know why you feel like you, cause some people, they could do half of that and feel extremely accomplished and they would be. But do you feel like, is it, is it financial, which is fine, it's definitely nice to have money and have security. Is it like, is there something that you find because?

• 1:31:57Speaker 02

  Not financial because doing movies, I, you know, I, I technically would make way more money touring. I'm like losing money doing these movies. Like trying to make a movie for theaters, it's kind of like trying to be like, hey, I want to build a Tower Records. Good luck, Aziz. Um, it's, it's not what's the lucrative thing, you know what I mean? Like it's interesting because I, I, my like heyday of touring and everything was probably, you know, 10 years ago when I did, um, the Garden and all that stuff, I was touring like crazy. And back in that time, not many people were doing theaters and arenas. Like there was only a few people and now it's like fucking everybody does. And when I go on tour, I'm like, who the, who's Alton Brown, the chef?

• 1:32:40Speaker 02

  He's playing the, the, the Deepak Center in Durham? He's just chopping food up and people are coming? Everybody's on tour, dude.

• 1:32:47Theo Von?

  There'll be a dude julienne-ing a carrot for 11,000 people.

• 1:32:50Speaker 02

  Yes, and you're like, what?

• 1:32:51Theo Von?

  Dude, is it cake? That TV show, Is It Cake is going on tour, I'm like,

• 1:32:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:32:55Theo Von?

  Who gives a fuck?

• 1:32:56Speaker 02

  Is It Cake Tour? And you're like, wait, I, I'm, that's what I'm competing with.

• 1:33:00Theo Von?

  People in the stands with binoculars trying to figure out if it's cake.

• 1:33:03Speaker 02

  It was not like this.

• 1:33:04Theo Von?

  At 70 yards, it's ridiculous.

• 1:33:07Speaker 02

  It's not, it was not like this.

• 1:33:08Theo Von?

  Who cares if it's fonded?

• 1:33:10Speaker 02

  It was not like this. And in that time, there was a whole podcast boom. Everybody found an audience. You didn't, you cut out the middleman of Netflix or whatever. People are putting stuff on YouTube and now all these people are touring and there's been this massive boom. And I, during that time, made my TV series, worked on these movies and have kind of stepped away.

• 1:33:31Theo Von?

  But now you're coming back. You're touring again.

• 1:33:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm touring again now and it's been so fun and I have, I've had a great time. But I'm also like, damn dude, this travel, it hits me in a different way. And like, I'm, yeah, you see October 23rd, I'm getting stressed. I'm like, I can't go to Temecula. I gotta, I gotta cancel Temecula. San Diego, oh god. Modesto, Monterey, oh god. At least I can hub out of LA. Oh no, then I gotta fly to Cincinnati on the 13th. Oh god. Then I gotta fly to Louisville, TSA is gonna be closed. There's gonna be like one air traffic controller. Then I'm probably gonna go down on my way to St. Louis. That's gonna be delayed.

• 1:34:10Theo Von?

  Indianapolis will be fun, dude.

• 1:34:12Speaker 02

  Indianapolis. Then I go see my family in Charlotte. That's nice. I love Asheville. Asheville's a great, great town and Savannah's a great town.

• 1:34:20Theo Von?

  Savannah's beautiful too.

• 1:34:21Speaker 02

  No, I love the show and I love being in the different cities. Cause you know, when you tour, you form a relationship with these cities.

• 1:34:28Theo Von?

  For sure. Oh, you're excited to go back. You're excited to see like, oh, look at this crowd. This one's different. This energy, this place is different.

• 1:34:34Speaker 02

  And what's so cool is, and I think this is why people like to go to live standup is like, even if you watch in specials, it's not the same as that show in that town and it's really fun. And you know, for me, like this tour, it's been fun, cause I haven't toured in a while. So it's a lot of stuff has happened. You know, I've been married. Me and my wife are trying to have a kid. And to go back to the thing we were talking about of like doing too much, like the movies, I feel like that comes from like, I have an idea and I have this. Vision of, it sounds cheesy to say vision, but I have a vision of something I want to execute. And it's something I'm really excited about and I'm like racing to be on set to do like, it could just be like, I'm writing something now and I have this one scene, I'm like, oh man, I just want to shoot that scene. I like, think this would be so, I gotta get there. And it's a long time to get there. Movies are so slow. You gotta work with so many other people.

• 1:35:19Speaker 02

  It's a nightmare. But I do it because I really love films and, and I want to make more films. Um, but I do think I've realized recently, like, I've gotta calm down. Like, I, I think I've overestimated my ability to work and, and, and as I get older, you know.

• 1:35:36Theo Von?

  You get burnt out. You get stressed, the stress builds.

• 1:35:39Speaker 02

  I've seen friends that are burned out.

• 1:35:40Theo Von?

  Oh dude, you're looking at one of them. We're not even friends, but you're looking at somebody that's been burnt out, but we could maybe be friends.

• 1:35:46Speaker 02

  I mean, I, I, I hope so. Dude, we went, we went deep here. This is deeper than I went on any other podcast. We talked about some heavy stuff. Yeah, in a great way. I love it. I mean, I think this is so much.

• 1:35:56Theo Von?

  We talk about a lot of this stuff on here. It's important, you know?

• 1:35:58Speaker 02

  No, I, I really, I really like it, but no, I, that burnout feeling, it's like.

• 1:36:03Theo Von?

  Bro, it's real. I started shedding hair recently, dude. We had a fricking retired Boston detective who has some of the craziest stories. Found a weiner on the sidewalk and it was like a real whodunit or whatever. Um, obviously the person missing the weiner did it, but uh, so it was pretty kind of a easy. It wasn't like knives out. Actually, it was like knives out. It's a long story. But um, anyway, oh shit, I forgot what I was talking about.

• 1:36:26Speaker 02

  We were talking about like just the burnout.

• 1:36:27Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, the burnout is real. It happens, dude. Yeah, I started shedding hair.

• 1:36:30Speaker 02

  It's tough to say, it's tough to say no too, cause you know, you're having a moment right now and I've had a moment and you know, people start telling you to do all this stuff. And no one on your side of the business is gonna be like, dude, you gotta, you gotta chill. You gotta take some rest. No one ever says that. They're like, well, that's a great opportunity. You should, you should do it. And you're like, well, that's a great opportunity. I should do it. And when I was younger, I could do all that stuff. When I look back at schedules and stuff I did, I'm like, how did I do all this? I can't do it anymore at this age. It's, it's a different thing. And, and I'm married now. It's like, I've been away from my wife a lot and it's, it's not, I don't feel nice about it sometimes and.

• 1:37:04Theo Von?

  Well, look, I have a suggestion that'll help you relax. Go watch Good Fortune.

• 1:37:13Theo Von?

  Go to your, go with your wife.

• 1:37:14Speaker 02

  Go with my own movie?

• 1:37:16Theo Von?

  Go sit and watch it. You'll like it, you guys will laugh, you'll get to spend some time together. It's good. I do know it's out October 17th. I do want to remind everybody about that.

• 1:37:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:37:25Theo Von?

  I feel lucky you get to be in London. One of my favorite musicians, James Blake, lives over there. Dermot Kennedy is a, is a, um, he's in the United Kingdom. He's a guy that I really love.

• 1:37:36Theo Von?

  Who, uh, who actually is coming in town soon. Yeah, I would love to get to live over there sometimes. People feel very...

• 1:37:44Speaker 02

  It's nice here a little bit, I mean, you probably feel this here too, like you're a little bit away from the circus.

• 1:37:48Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, I feel totally good. And the circus is dissolved, the circus is...

• 1:37:52Speaker 02

  It's a different thing, you don't really need to be there anymore.

• 1:37:54Theo Von?

  They're finding new places, there's new mini circuses popping up.

• 1:37:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, but then, but yeah, but is Nashville becoming a circus?

• 1:37:59Theo Von?

  No, I don't think so, not too much. It still feels kinda small. There's a lot of people moving here and a lot of stuff going on, but it still feels pretty small.

• 1:38:04Speaker 02

  No, I mean, I feel like that in London, that I'm away from things. Whenever I go back to LA, I start feeling like, oh my god, I'm falling behind, I need to do this. Cause you hear about it, oh, I've just made this, I'm working on, I'm like, oh shit, what am I doing? I'm not doing anything.

• 1:38:16Theo Von?

  You've done so much, dude. I mean, from all, from television to, um, I know you had that series I watched for a while, it was on Netflix, it was just you?

• 1:38:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:24Theo Von?

  That was Master of None?

• 1:38:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:25Theo Von?

  Um, the book that you wrote, I know about dating and like the struggle of love.

• 1:38:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:30Theo Von?

  You've done enough, you've done, let me tell you this, if nobody ever tells you, you've done enough.

• 1:38:35Speaker 02

  No, but finishing the movie was a big deal, and I'm glad I did it, cause it took a minute to get it done, and, and I'm really proud of it and proud of the work that I did, my, my, my whole team did, all the actors did, and I'd love to make more, but yeah, I definitely, I hear you, and, um, it, it's...

• 1:38:53Theo Von?

  You've done a lot, that's what I mean. I didn't mean enough, I didn't mean enough.

• 1:38:55Speaker 02

  No, no, I know what you mean, I appreciate it, yeah.

• 1:38:57Theo Von?

  And I think, uh, yeah, and your sister would be so proud of you. What was her name again? I want to say it one more time.

• 1:39:02Speaker 02

  Nafiz.

• 1:39:03Theo Von?

  Nafiz? Oh, it's such a pretty name. How do you spell it?

• 1:39:05Speaker 02

  N-A-F-E-E-Z.

• 1:39:07Theo Von?

  Ooh, Nafiz.

• 1:39:09Speaker 02

  I'm so glad we, we talked about that, cause I, I, I feel like I'm here with some people that work with me, and they're like, wait, what?

• 1:39:16Theo Von?

  Well, I think when we say people's names out loud, people that have been a part of our lives, like even when we're talking about like, if you wanted to say something to Lucian, I think when, when, when we say people's names, they feel that wherever they are, that is a felt thing. Uh, cause otherwise, why would we feel it?

• 1:39:30Speaker 02

  No, it's, it's bringing their, it's, it's, it's putting them in the, in, in.

• 1:39:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, and I believe it's like,

• 1:39:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:36Theo Von?

  I believe they feel it, wherever they are, they feel it, you know? I think you definitely, if you're here for this long, you definitely keep an anchor locked in.

• 1:39:41Speaker 02

  I mean, the other person I was gonna mention and, and tell me we can, we, if you, I don't want you to run late for whatever. But the other person I was thinking of when I was talking about Lucian, was, have you ever heard of Manny that ran the Comedy Cellar?

• 1:39:53Theo Von?

  Mm-mm.

• 1:39:54Speaker 02

  Manny Dorman was the owner of the Comedy Cellar, his son Gnome's there now. Um, but he-

• 1:39:58Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, I know Gnome.

• 1:39:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, so Gnome's dad is Manny.

• 1:40:02Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:40:03Speaker 02

  First time I ever did comedy, was, uh, at the Comedy Cellar. They had a, they had a new talent night, which doesn't even exist anymore. Now they just have like fucking 10 Comedy Cellars and 10 shows like, but this was like back in the day, they had a new talent night at like 6 o'clock. And you'd bring like a couple of friends and they'd give you stage time. And I did that, and I was 18 years old. Summer of my freshman year in college. Didn't do good at it, I, I, I did well, my material was terrible, but I did well because I was very comfortable on stage and public speaking and I was just kinda funny and it worked and, and I came back and did it again, and I did a couple of open mics and, you know, had a reality check, like, oh fuck, this is really hard.

• 1:40:46Speaker 02

  And then, um, the third time I did stand-up. Third time I ever did stand-up was again at the Comedy Cellar. And it was one of these new talent nights, and I, for some reason, this crowd and me, it just, it, I was just-

• 1:41:04Theo Von?

  Didn't go well?

• 1:41:04Speaker 02

  No, no, went super well.

• 1:41:06Theo Von?

  Oh fuck, all your stories end up with, they go good.

• 1:41:09Speaker 02

  But, uh, and, and they went nuts and I like said something at the end, I was like, "Oh, by the way, like, whenever we perform, we have to bring a certain number of friends, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm running out of friends, so if you wanna come, like, come see, say hi backstage and, and whatever, you know?" And, and I was just being serious and they're, they're, they were all just losing it and Manny saw this. And he said like, you're, yeah, there's Manny. And he goes, you're, he basically came up and it was like some old Hollywood thing. He was like, you're ready for the big room. I'd done stand up like three times. There's no way I was ready to perform at the hardest comedy. And this is like Comedy Cellar where it's like, Attell, Geraldo, Jim Norton.

• 1:41:54Speaker 02

  He's like, you're ready for the big room. And, uh, and so I would show up there and, and, uh, they would put me on late at night, almost like a late night. They would, and it was like really odd, cause I, I probably, I shouldn't have been doing it. I was just so green and I was doing it and eventually, you know, Esti, uh, Esti, who's the, you know, famously runs the Comedy Cellar, passes comics. She's like, okay, let's, you go on. And I went on and she was like, yeah, you, you, you can't be performing here. Cause I've been doing this. Yeah. She's like, you can't be, can't be doing this. She's fucking tough. I was like a little kid. She was like, you, you can't, you can't be doing this. You're not ready.

• 1:42:34Speaker 02

  And I was like, okay. And, and then, um, you know, now, again, one of the, you know, Emmy, Masquerade Garden, whatever, like this to me is the coolest thing. Is that I can perform at the Comedy Cellar and just drop in and they'll just let me do material.

• 1:42:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:55Speaker 02

  And, and perform. And then the crowd goes nuts and knows who I am. That's the craziest thing to me.

• 1:43:00Theo Von?

  That's crazy.

• 1:43:00Speaker 02

  That's like kind of above everything else. And my biggest dream, I've told people is like that I'm just like 90 years old and I drop into the Comedy Cellar and maybe a couple of people know who I am, but that I'm able to fucking hold my own. But anyway, I, I was there at the Comedy Cellar one night and me and Esti were talking about this. And she was like, you know, Manny saw you whenever you were really young and, and he must be up there smiling now, seeing all you've done.

• 1:43:26Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 1:43:27Speaker 02

  And, uh, yeah, that, uh, that made me smile and, um, I, I wasn't super, super close with Manny, but, um, but he was another guy, before Lucian oddly, even saw me in this. That's something.

• 1:43:41Theo Von?

  Well, it's a reminder, I think, for anybody that has been in a field for a while of when you take a moment to connect with somebody that's just coming into it, you know, that it could have an effect, you know, that's a nice reminder.

• 1:43:52Speaker 02

  It means the world to them, and you don't realize, because I think we're all like,

• 1:43:55Theo Von?

  It could, yeah.

• 1:43:55Speaker 02

  We're all in our own head and don't realize.

• 1:43:57Theo Von?

  I mean, yeah, especially when you're young, there's one person having to believe, like, oh, good job, just little things like that, and I'm still grateful, uh, it reminded me that Neil Brennan and Amy Schumer are the ones that helped me get past at the Comedy Cellar.

• 1:44:09Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:44:10Theo Von?

  And I've only performed there like probably six, seven times, maybe 10, but I walked in the other night and I was so nervous, like, you want to go up? I was like, no way, I'm not freaking going up, dude. But I think some of that's just places you're used to be in, you know, so. Um, Aziz, I gotta go, man. Thank you so much.

• 1:44:26Speaker 02

  Oh, man, this was such a great conversation.

• 1:44:28Theo Von?

  This has been cool.

• 1:44:29Speaker 02

  I, um, I really enjoyed it, and, and we talked about so many, uh, interesting things, and, um, and, and really some, some heavy stuff, but I, I thought it was great, and I'm so glad we had the opportunity to do it.

• 1:44:40Theo Von?

  I appreciate it, man. I think it's exciting that you get to live in London and have a new experience. It sounds like you've had a lot of unique experiences, and that's like, that's such a gift, you know? Um, God's had a lot of grace, it seems like, in your whole just like ability to be creative and like, man, thank you for sharing that with us.

• 1:44:57Speaker 02

  Oh, thanks, man. Thank you for having me.

• 1:44:59Theo Von?

  You bet, and best of luck with the film, dude. Out, out, October 17th, so this week, I think, and, uh, all right, everybody, be good.

• 1:45:06Speaker 02

  Thanks so much.