640 How to Overcome Obstacles

THE GREATEST PEOPLE ARE MADE BY THE GREATEST CHALLENGES. Have you ever wondered what the truth is about why we're here and how to make sense of life? I think we all have. It's a question I often ask guests on my podcast who have a spiritual background. I'm fascinated by all the different ideas on our purpose in life and how to find it. We've had some amazing spiritual leaders on the show, from all different backgrounds, so I thought it would be cool to do a Masters mashup episode on spiritual truths. The response to these mashup episodes from the archives has been so great, I'm going to keep them coming. This one features 4 clips from some of the wisest spiritual minds I've ever met. First we hear from John Gray about how we can see our biggest mistakes and challenges being used for good in our lives. Then we hear from Marianne Williamson about the difference between pain and suffering (and that we have a choice about how to respond to them). Next there's a great nugget from Danielle LaPorte about why it's so important to be your own guru when it comes to walking your spiritual path. And lastly we end with Rob Bell talking about why he believes God has put paradox into every truth (and why that is a good thing). I loved each of these episodes, and I think you'll get as much value as I did by revisiting them in Episode 640. In this episode you will learn: The importance of seeing each other's struggles (5:42) The difference between pain and suffering (9:16) How to create space to listen to your own wisdom (12:38) Why paradox is baked into truth (19:04) Plus much more... Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 640, a solo round on how to overcome any obstacle.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:32Lewis Howes?

  Ryan Holiday said that failure shows us the way by showing us what isn't the way. Welcome to another solo round. I did one of these recently and so many of you keep saying, do more of these, please do more. So you guys share what you want. I'm listening and I'm giving you and delivering. And this solo round is about five key obstacles I've faced growing up. Some of you may have heard some of them and others probably haven't heard any of these. So I wanted to get a little vulnerable, a little real here and share a lot of these challenges because so many people come to me and say, Lewis, it looks like you've just had everything handed to you. It looks like you've had it easy to get to where you're at.

• 1:15Lewis Howes?

  And I'm going to talk about the different challenges that I've been through, how I overcame them. And also as a Mother's Day special, talk about how my mom supported me through each one of these challenges and how I believe it's so important that we have moms, especially supporting sons, all their children, obviously. But for me as a man growing up, it was really key to have a mother like my mom to support me going through these challenges. Cause I don't know if I would have been able to get through them as gracefully without her. So love you, mom. Happy Mother's Day. Make sure you guys send some love to your moms as well.

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  And you know, it's easy to think that you can't achieve greatness because your challenges are too big or the things that you're going through life are too hard. But the truth is, a lot of us face big obstacles. In fact, some of the greatest individuals in the world face the greatest obstacles. And they're the ones who are able to create extraordinary results. So what is it that they did? And, and how can you apply that in your own life? In this episode, again, I'm talking about the five examples of obstacles that I've faced and overcome in order to pursue my dreams, in order to get to where I'm at now and to keep pursuing the dreams that I have. And again, big thank you to my mom, who I'm going to be reflecting on, on how she guided me

• 2:40Lewis Howes?

  and supported through each instance and the lesson I learned from her. So the five obstacles I've overcome to create greatness. I'm going to share with you right now what they are. And then we're going to get into each one in just a second. One, being dyslexic and struggling in school my entire childhood. Number two, my parents fighting and going through divorce, what that was like. Number three, my brother going to prison. And during that four and a half year window of him being in prison, you know, I really didn't have many friends. I wasn't allowed to have friends during that time. Number four, getting injured and losing my dream playing professional football. And number five, acknowledging and working through childhood sexual abuse that I faced.

• 3:25Lewis Howes?

  So I'm going to talk about each one of those, break it down. And the lesson I learned from my mom on that and the lessons I learned in general on how to overcome these challenges. Now, listen, some people have faced far greater challenges than these. But for me, they were extremely daunting to overcome. And it felt like life was. Always going to end at certain times. At least that's the story, uh, the fear I had built up in my mind and in my body that life was over when these challenges were happening. So we all go through challenges and I want to break down how I went through mine and how I continue to go through challenges today because it's not like the challenges have stopped now

• 4:06Lewis Howes?

  that I'm at where I'm at. But before we dive in, I want to give a big thank you to the fan of the week. Again, so many great positive reviews come through every single day over on iTunes. If you haven't left one yet, please leave us a review. It helps us spread the message of greatness and our mission is to continue to inspire and impact the world to help people overcome their challenges, their obstacles, and live their greatest life. And this one's from Juan the Fit Dad Montoya, who says, "Lewis, the School of Greatness podcast needs to be a course offered in high schools. I wish I had something like this to listen to back in grade school. Your podcast is part of my morning routine. It keeps me focused and reminds me of my purpose each day. I am always excited to learn from each episode. I'm addicted." And I

• 4:50Lewis Howes?

  want to thank you, man. You have changed my life. You're awesome. So Juan the Fit Dad, thank you so much for the review. You're the fan of the week, my man. I appreciate you very much. And, uh, you know, for me, this is the stuff that I wish I would have learned in school. Math and social studies and all these other classes were really challenging for me to pay attention. And I wish they would have started teaching some of these things in school, you know, leadership, emotional intelligence, about nutrition, about relationships, about wealth generation, all these things we talk about. I wish they would have taught this. And that's why I began the podcast over five years ago because I wanted to create the thing that I needed the most in my life and that I wanted to be in the world. Alright guys, I want to

• 5:32Lewis Howes?

  break down these five obstacles I've overcome to get to where I'm at in my life. And number one is being dyslexic and struggling in school. For me, dyslexia wasn't something I was even aware of until later in my life. I just knew I sucked at reading, at writing, at speaking out loud and reading in public. It was the most terrifying thing. And even today, you know, I'm 35 years old, reading a teleprompter in front of people is still challenging, but I've been preparing myself more and more and more. And I used to feel like-

• 6:13Lewis Howes?

  The dumbest kid in the world, literally in elementary school, middle school and high school. I remember when I went to eighth grade, I went to a private boarding school in eighth grade and they tested us for a bunch of different things, you know, math, reading, writing, all that stuff. And I pretty much was horrible at everything. I don't know how they let me into eighth grade at this school, to be honest, because they said I had a second grade reading level when I was entering the eighth grade. And I remember just feeling so insecure, so unsure of myself, so uncertain, wondering why I was so dumb. I was like, why, why me? Why am I this? Why can't I read? Why can't I write? Why don't

• 6:55Lewis Howes?

  I understand what people are saying with these words? I remember I would read a paragraph in a book and it was like my brain couldn't comprehend, or I couldn't focus. And I would just read it over and over and over again. And I would get through about a page and a half within fifteen, twenty minutes of a book. And I remember nothing. I literally would remember nothing. And it would make me feel so defeated that I was just like, I guess I'm broken. I guess I'm always going to be this way. And I guess there's something wrong with me. One of the things I did is I said, okay, I'm going to focus my energy to build confidence in something else. Since I'm not good at this, I'm going to get good

• 7:39Lewis Howes?

  at something. Early on, that was video games in elementary school, but then as I developed, I put all my energy and attention and really all my pain and frustration into sports and being the best athlete I could be. But to bring this back into Mother's Day and my mom's celebration of how amazing she is, you know, I was the youngest of four and she was working multiple jobs with my dad, helping him build the business that they were building. And she saw me struggle early on.

• 8:13Lewis Howes?

  And she would come into elementary school. I would, they put me in like these special needs reading classes. And she would come into school for months at a time to support the teacher in this other special needs class. There was probably four or five of us who are struggling the most. And they would send us off to this special class to learn how to read and learn how to write. And my mom would come in to support me. Now, we weren't making a lot of money then, but she took the time off to show me how much she cared. And she was so patient and so loving and really, you know, helped guide me through just overcoming that insecurity and that fear.

• 8:53Lewis Howes?

  And that was really empowering for me to know that someone was there for me, that someone did believe in me and was willing to work with me for a long time and help me get through it. And I really love and appreciate that and look back on it and realize that I was beating myself up more than anyone. I was constantly beating myself up, but it was so nice to know that my mom was there to support me during those challenging times. And it got me through it as opposed to just giving up. She wouldn't let me give up. She might have realized that it was something I struggled with and I wasn't that good with and that I may never become great at. But she wasn't going to let me give up and she was going to be very patient with me.

• 9:34Lewis Howes?

  So for me, having my mom support that and me also putting my energy and attention and focus on something that I am excited about and I'm passionate about. You know, I wasn't passionate about reading, writing or, or school, but I was passionate about sports and becoming a great athlete. So if you feel like you're struggling with one thing that you're not good at, find something you are good at and put all of your energy and attention and time into that. And just work towards that. Now, if you're in school right now, there might be a challenge. You're going to have to go through classes and pass them. Be patient and give your best and find the thing you are passionate about and put your energy in that. So that was the first thing. The second thing I want to talk about is my parents fighting and divorcing.

• 10:19Lewis Howes?

  For as long as I can remember, my parents are very loving people. They loved all of us kids and I'm sure they loved each other. They would always take time to like tell us how much they loved us, things like that. But there wasn't a lot of, it seemed like very stressful growing up, right? There was a lot of arguing, a lot of fighting, a lot of screaming, a lot of. Passive aggressive energy throughout my entire childhood. And eventually they got divorced when I was, I believe, fifteen or sixteen, which was probably long overdue. But they were doing their best, they were figuring it out. So, you know, no blame or harm to them. It was just the situation it is and they were doing their best. And they did a great job. But them going through the divorce and the fighting,

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  I remember like feeling like at peace, like they finally were both like happy, you know, separated and apart and they weren't, wasn't going to be this tension anymore, which was nice. But I also felt like uncertain. I left to go to a private boarding school and one of the reasons was to just get away from some of the struggles I was facing personally as a, you know, a young boy growing up in a small town in Ohio. And really didn't have many friends and I'll get to that in the next point. But didn't have many friends and the kids I were hanging out with were stealing all the time, they were smoking cigarettes, they were just not doing positive things, not doing the things I wanted to do.

• 11:45Lewis Howes?

  So I remember, you know, feeling a little bit uncertain and my mom, I, I said, Mom, why don't you come out here? I was living in St. Louis, Missouri at the time at the, uh, in a boys dorm. So I was living with, you know, a hundred other guys. And I said, Mom, now that you guys are separated and divorced, you know, why don't you come out here and live with me? And, you know, we'll get an apartment, I can be a day student, so I don't have to live in the dorm anymore. And she literally, within a few weeks, packed up everything, moved her life, you know, a seven and a half hour drive from Columbus, Ohio to St. Louis, Missouri. And she didn't have a job, she didn't have any relationships or any network there. She didn't have really anything.

• 12:31Lewis Howes?

  She had the desire to create a new life for herself. She had the desire to build new relationships and community. And she hustled, I mean, she, she was like, Calling cousins and third cousins and friends of people she knew and was just relentless and doing whatever it took to find an apartment, right, that we could live in. I remember we lived with someone for like two months. We found an apartment of a guy who was like leaving in a couple of months and she said, well, we need it now. Can we have, it was a two-bedroom apartment and we slept, like I slept in the living room, she slept in the other room.

• 13:14Lewis Howes?

  And there was another guy who was like a chiropractor who was moving to another state or something, it was his apartment. And we moved in. She showed me like resourcefulness and she showed me that, you know, no matter what, how hard a breakup might be, or how hard ending something might be a relationship, that it doesn't have to define you, it doesn't have to own you, it doesn't have to destroy you and that you can get back up by being resourceful and hungry to create a new life for yourself. And that really taught me a powerful lesson, you know, for my own stuff. When I've been through breakups in the past, they were challenging for me, but I was able to lean on that resourcefulness, that hunger to create something new for myself, that desire to have a new vision for my life.

• 13:57Lewis Howes?

  You know, the old me wasn't working or that relationship wasn't working. So what's the new vision of a relationship I want? And I would always create these new visions, these new ideals. As I would learn and grow, I learned how to do that better. So that was a great lesson my mom taught me about, you know, going through the divorce, that it doesn't have to define you and own you. And your past doesn't have to be who you are now and moving forward in your future. So that was really powerful and insightful for me. The third thing that I've overcome of the many things, but third that I'm talking about here is my brother going to prison. We did a couple of episodes on this. So we'll have this linked up in the show notes. If you want to go to LewisHowes.com/640. We'll have both of the

• 14:41Lewis Howes?

  episodes of my brother talking about his prison journey, what that was like, how he overcame. It's incredible story and what he's done with his life since. But for me at the time, I remember I was eight and my brother was in the courthouse, right? My mom had told me after it happened that she was devastated, the whole family was devastated. And as the youngest of four, you kind of hear things last, right? You get told things last. They don't really tell you much when you're the youngest. So I was always curious, like, what is happening in the family, what's happening in the world? I felt like I never knew anything. But I remember asking my mom, we were in the car and she was heartbroken and I was like, what's going on? What happened to Chris? And she said, well, he's going away.

• 15:26Lewis Howes?

  He's going to jail. And it was a number of years. So we didn't know how long he was gonna be in. It was like a six to 25 year sentence. So he could be in there for six years or 20 years. We didn't know. And I remember, for me, during that four and a half year span, he got out in four and a half years on good behavior and it was transformed his life and he's done amazing things. Now the number one jazz violinist in the world. He's just done amazing things. But for me, being in a small town, a lower middle class, suburban, predominantly white neighborhood, news travels fast. And when someone goes to prison, that's typically doesn't happen in those type of neighborhoods.

• 16:10Lewis Howes?

  You know, you just get looked at, you get judged differently. Whether it's you or you're a family member of that person. And so I remember, I really didn't have many friends already before because I was slow in school. I was, you know, just, I was a tall kid, gangly, goofy. I was just kind of awkward, very awkward. So I really didn't have friends, except for my next door neighbor, maybe a little bit. He would hang out with me because he had to, because I would just walk over and, you know, whatever. But when my brother went to prison, it was like, I remember the kind of friends that I had, they were like, I can't hang out with you anymore because my mom won't let me. Your brother's in jail. And I remember just being like, you know, sucked even more.

• 16:52Lewis Howes?

  As a lonely, insecure kid, you know, I just struggled with it. I just wanted a couple of close friends. That's all I really cared about. Now, I don't blame my brother or anything. It's just what is. And the lesson I learned about that is my, you know, my mom and my dad, we would go visit my brother, what felt like every weekend when we could. You know, there were some weekends we missed if we were traveling, but it was almost like, it felt like every weekend we would go and visit him. And the lesson I learned there was that I felt like it brought us together closer. When my brother had this challenge, you know, and he went into jail, it was like it brought the family together closer. So as opposed to it breaking us up.

• 17:36Lewis Howes?

  We committed to, you know, going to visit my brother and that was the time we actually had the most real intimate, vulnerable conversations when we were in the, the waiting room or the visiting room at the prison. We would sit there for three, four, five hours and connect and talk and really talk about things and share stories and that's like when I, you know, fell in love with my family on a deeper level because I got to connect with them and, and learn and they didn't say like, go over there, Louis, like they let me listen to like everything that was happening and I was just fascinated. I was just like, wow, this is crazy. And to see, you know, my mom have that grace and, and you make sure we all stayed together

• 18:16Lewis Howes?

  and continue to be the best mom she could be to me and focus on my two older sisters and, and guide us through our schooling and everything that we were going through was inspiring. So shout out to my mom for doing that. And for me, how I overcame it was, again, I really struggled in my early childhood. Like I had just the worst inner demons and inner battles. And I don't remember ever really feeling like secure ever. I just felt very uncertain of myself. And the more challenges that arose, the more insecure I became. But going to the prison and connecting with my brother more and hearing these stories, for

• 18:58Lewis Howes?

  some reason, it just made me stronger. It made me stronger because I felt like, I don't know, I felt like I was learning something that most people never learn. And I felt like I was going through something that most, you know, almost every person, every kid I knew in school had never gone through. And that gave me like this sense of confidence as well. It gave me like this sense of, I know something that other people don't. I'm not saying I wish I knew these things, like I wish I didn't have to go through this, but it was kind of like, okay, I've been through something, through family stuff that most people haven't. And it kind of gave me this like inner strength as well, even though I was feeling this insecurity. So that's point number three. Point number four, getting injured and losing my dream. Most people have heard this story, you know, when I was...

• 19:44Lewis Howes?

  Man, I broke three ribs my senior year in college in a football game, had to sit out the next eight games, came back my redshirt senior year, broke the same three ribs in the same game, sat out two games, I had an incredible healing, came back and played the rest of the season, became an all-American athlete, then went on to play, went to the Ohio State Combine in football, working my way to the NFL, I had a couple NFL tryouts, didn't make the NFL, the National Football League, did make the Arena Football League, played my rookie season in Arena Football League, broke my wrist in the second game of the season, decided that I didn't want to have surgery then, I taped it up for the

• 20:25Lewis Howes?

  next 12, 13, 14 games, and played with a broken wrist. Now, this broken wrist was the thing that kind of like ended it all, ended the dream, because I went to have surgery afterwards, they took a bone out of my hip, they put it into my wrist, and I had 10 staples in my hip, I had a cast on my wrist and my whole arm for about six months, and then it just took a year to recover, to kind of get my elbow to open up, to get my wrist to bend, so it was about a year and a half of recovery, and my dream was over, dream was over, I felt like my life was over, because this is the only thing I cared about. Now, what did I do to get through this?

• 21:07Lewis Howes?

  I, luckily I had my sister Catherine let me crash on her couch for about that year and a half to recover, and I said, you know what, after about two months of being in a pity party and watching TV all day, I was just like, I need to put this pain into something that's going to bring me pleasure, I'm going to need to put this pain into an energy that is a force for good in the world, and I'm going to develop my mind, I'm going to develop my body, I'm going to develop new skills, that is going to make me more valuable than I've ever been in my life, and this football thing is going to be a thing of the past, because I'm going to train myself and acquire skillsets that add value to humanity.

• 21:50Lewis Howes?

  And I don't know how that came to me, but I think I was just so devastated and so... Defeated feeling that I was just like, this is not going to be my legacy. This is not going to be who I am, which is the has been football player that relives the stories of the glory days from high school, college and arena football. Yeah, I didn't even make it to the top level, so there wasn't much to even relive. I told myself that this was happening for a reason. Whether it was, whether it isn't, I just said, this is happening for a reason. What is the reason? And that became my journey. The journey of figuring out who I am and what my reason is for being alive, moving forward. And as I acquired new skills, I learned things that I loved. I started salsa dancing.

• 22:34Lewis Howes?

  I started doing public speaking classes. I started trying all sorts of different things. I was reading books for the first time, books that I felt fascinating. They weren't like textbooks from school. There were books that I was interested in. I started just exploring. I started traveling to different business events and networking events and meeting people from all walks of life and just started asking questions. I found mentors. I did an internship at an invention shop and started inventing products and inventing ideas and, and doing design work, going to trade shows. And I just said, I am going to acquire as many skills as possible to become the most valuable human that I can potentially be with the gifts that I have been given to me. And that's what I did.

• 23:19Lewis Howes?

  And bring back to the lesson of my mom, because this is Mother's Day special. What she did is she got out of my way. I think one of the greatest challenges our parents do for some people that I've seen is they get in the way. They get in the way of people's dreams, of their kids' dreams, sometimes. And I see this and it pains me. And the thing my mom never did is she never got in the way of my dreams. She maybe didn't understand what I was doing or the process or certain things, but she never said, you can't do that, like you shouldn't do that, or I'm scared for you, or that doesn't feel right to me, or that doesn't feel safe, or I don't know, you should maybe just go get a job and just figure it out that way. She never once did that.

• 24:03Lewis Howes?

  She just would smile or would say something or, you know, be like, okay, that's interesting or whatever, but she, she never got in my way. And that was the key for me was my parents in general, um, never got in the way. They always said, do what you want, you know? You know, just make sure you're making enough money to to live and and be safe and provide for yourself. And that is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given is the um the permission to pursue my dreams. And that means every time there's an obstacle or challenge that we face, always know that you have permission to move forward towards something, even if it seems so audacious

• 24:45Lewis Howes?

  and ridiculous and crazy, give yourself permission to move towards your dreams. You know, I think my mom had been through a lot at this time, you know, she had four kids. We all had our challenges and stresses and and love and joy as well, but there was a lot of headache growing up with each one of us. You know, we all had different things that we went through. You know, with my brother in prison for a number of years, that was challenging for her with sisters going through different challenges uh that I'll need to get into with me going through my challenges and then getting injured and her getting through divorce. You know, there's just a lot of stuff that was was coming up and for her to say, you know what, I'm going to support you on your dreams. That was a an important thing.

• 25:29Lewis Howes?

  And it's not like she had to like be there for me. It was essentially she needed to get out of the way because I believe that too often the people we're in relationships with, our partners, our our husbands, our wives, our parents, too often we are influenced by the people we love who are afraid for us. And it's not their fault. You know, they're they're coming from a place of love, but sometimes people don't know how to communicate and lift others up. You know, my mom was able to do that. She was able to lift me up by getting out of the way. And that's key. Of the fifth challenge that I'm going to talk about today, I have many other challenges that I haven't even scratched the surface on.

• 26:11Lewis Howes?

  These probably aren't even the most vulnerable challenges for me, but they're the ones I've talked about a lot and thought I'd go over them here. The fifth challenge is acknowledging and working through childhood sexual abuse. Now, I did a podcast episode four years ago, I believe, about being sexually abused for and I opened up about it publicly. And I'm gonna do another episode, follow up to this eventually in the next few weeks, where I may republish that because so many people haven't heard it.

• 26:41Lewis Howes?

  And kind of do something special with that because this is something that keeps coming up. One of the reasons I wrote The Mask of Masculinity. And it's one of the, you know, it's one of the keys to me doing what I'm doing right now is to continue to help men evolve and overcome the fears and insecurities that hold a lot of men back from the guilt, the shame they've been through, through childhood or young adulthood with a lot of, you know, one in six men have been sexually abused. So when I was five, you know, it happened to me and again, I don't want to go into the story. But you can listen to the episode, we'll link it up and I'll be resharing it here in the future. But

• 27:21Lewis Howes?

  for 25 years, I didn't talk about it and I never felt like I could talk about it based on a lot of different factors. I eventually, when I was 30, opened up about it for the first time. And then I started telling my family members one by one. I remember telling my mom. And she was heartbroken. She was devastated. She was sad, felt guilty, hurt because she felt responsible. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't anyone in our family. It was something that happened outside of the family. And I remember talking about it with her and just feeling like, you know, I needed to share with all my family members just to let them know. I felt like the more I opened up to them, the more, you know, I could heal and connect on a deeper level.

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  And it took her a number of weeks to, to overcome this. I think she was more devastated about this than, than anything that I've been through. You know, it took her a number of weeks of feeling sad and remorse and guilt and the things that I think any mother or any parent would feel having known their son or, or daughter had been through something like that. And I kind of just gave my mom that space to, you know, to do what she needed to do to, to move through it. But the thing that was amazing is that she continued to just love me and support me and didn't make me wrong for anything. She didn't hold me down for anything. She just said, you know, I love you and I'm here for you and I support you. And again, she was really sorry to hear these things.

• 28:51Lewis Howes?

  So, big shout out to my mom for supporting me through that big obstacle that it was hard for me to overcome, you know, it was hard for me to talk about it. I didn't talk about it to anyone for 25 years and, and she really continued to support and love me for who I am today and not holding on to that from the past and how I overcame this, you know, challenge. I overcame this by, whoo, man, it was a lot. It was a lot of looking myself in the mirror and breaking down just years of pain, years of armor, years of walls,

• 29:32Lewis Howes?

  insecurities, and actually talking about it. You know, I think sometimes we feel like we're not allowed to talk about certain things. And when we think we can't talk about something, we become a prisoner to that thing. The thing that is unspoken, you become a prisoner of the unspoken. When we bring it to life, when we speak it into the world so that other can, others can hear it, then we're not a prisoner to it anymore. We're not the only ones. And we can start to break it down and talk about it and dissect it and heal and mourn and grieve

• 30:10Lewis Howes?

  over certain things. And the more I talk about it, the less it owns me. You know, I look at it like it is just a story now, not this thing that ruined my life or that consumed me or that made me this, you know, angry defensive person growing up. But it's just a story now that I've, I, I went through, I lived and I don't wish it on anyone, but it's also doesn't control me and consume all my thoughts and energy anymore. And that's one of the keys. When we go through trauma, when we go through any type of heartache, trauma, or traumatic experience, you know, the-

• 30:56Lewis Howes?

  The less we talk about it, the more we just keep it in, the more it's going to consume our energy and hold us back. When we can start to talk about it, not saying it's going to be easy, not saying it's going to be comfortable, not saying it's going to be fun, and it doesn't need to be, but just the more we're able to bring it to life and have those challenging conversations with the people you truly love about it, without it crippling you emotionally. You know, once you get to a place where it doesn't cripple you, then you are in control and you claim your power back. And I realized that I didn't have my power for many years. This instance and my inability to be vulnerable or to just communicate about it had the power

• 31:40Lewis Howes?

  and I didn't have any power. And so for me, these five obstacles that I've overcome, that I'm just talking about here, and the way I process them, they've all taught me powerful lessons. And again, so many people, some of you listening have dealt with far greater challenges than me. This is not a comparison game. We all go through certain battles. Some are external, some are internal, some are health-related, some are learning-related, some are relationship-related spiritually. We all go through different stuff and we all handle things differently based on our makeup, our chemistry, our environment, our belief systems, the way we've been raised, the society, the media, everything.

• 32:25Lewis Howes?

  But for me, I know these challenges were very hard for me because I didn't have the tools to move through them. And that's why going through challenges gives us lessons and tools to move through each challenge. And then hopefully we can apply that as we grow and evolve. And at every new level of our life, we are going to face some type of obstacle. And in this new level, you must break through a previous level. So there's going to be resistance, there's going to be change, there's going to be growth, and that's going to command. And... Uh, need and that need for a new you, that shedding of armor, of walls, of limitations

• 33:08Lewis Howes?

  is going to and has to come through if you want to reach another level. And that's why the greatest athletes have gone through some of the greatest adversities. The greatest political leaders or world leaders or business leaders have faced the greatest pressures of all time. And what makes them great is their ability to learn from each challenge and struggle that we face. Master emotional tools. So we're not emotionally crippled. Because a lot of time, we get in our head. And then when we're in our head, it consumes our heart. And then we are emotionally in fear, crippled, and we're unable to move forward. And we just try to protect ourselves because we don't want to be in more pain.

• 33:53Lewis Howes?

  But pain is the key to getting to the next level. We must break through pain in order to get what we want. And so again, these are some of the obstacles I've faced, some of the ways that I got through them, how I overcame them, and how I continue to overcome challenges now. And also, what my mom did to support me through each one of those challenges. And again, big thank you to mom and all the moms out there who are incredible leaders in the world. Because you're doing the toughest job of all, which is raising human beings. And there's nothing more complicated in the world than a human being, especially one

• 34:35Lewis Howes?

  that you evolve over time and, and all the nuances of an evolving human being. So, big thank you to all the moms in the world. Big thank, big thank you to my mom for being there for me. I love you, mom. Happy Mother's Day. I hope you guys enjoyed this. If you did, please share it out. LewisHowes.com/640 on how to overcome any obstacle. If you want more solo rounds, where I share these types of stories, insights, tools, strategies, things like that, then send me a message over on Instagram. Just DM me at Lewis Howes and let me know. If you want more solo rounds just from me. We've got some big interviews coming up as well every single week. But if you want more of these, I'll keep doing them.

• 35:19Lewis Howes?

  I hope you guys enjoyed this one again. Ryan Holiday said, "Failure shows us the way by showing us what isn't the way." Make sure you lean into the challenges and start to reflect. Journal, talk to friends, talk to a coach, talk to a therapist. Don't just hold on to the pain and don't share with anyone. Make sure you're communicating in some form or fashion so that you can process through, learn the lessons, and improve your life. This is what it's all about. It's about reaching the next level of our lives. It's about serving humanity on the highest level, just like mothers do all the time, serving humanity. And it's about pursuing our dreams. Make sure you don't get in the way of other people's dreams, the way my mom never got in the way, or my dad never got in the way of mine.

• 36:04Lewis Howes?

  One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me is that they never got in the way of my dreams. You're robbing people of their life if you rob them of their dreams. Remember that. You are robbing people of their lives and who they are meant to be if you rob them of their dreams. As always, I love you so very much, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.