Joy 101: Ariana DeBose

“I do think there are these moments in your life where, while honoring your commitments, you have to honor your commitment to yourself.”-Ariana DeBose Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is Presented by CVS. Shop your local CVS, right around the corner. Experience the full conversation on the "Joy 101 podcast with Hoda Kotb" wherever you listen to podcasts. For more information please visit us at www.joy101.com/podcast https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.joy101.com%2Fpodcast&data=05%7C02%7CBrianBurton%40iheartmedia.com%7Ceb8623c8887e47915d3908def4c79ec8%7C122a527e5b714eba878d9810b495b9e3%7C0%7C0%7C639217335348361202%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=uZJfxfO6389ng5wyOIiEoqExv%2F4xjYAOD%2BPYJXQlssM%3D&reserved=0 See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:10Hoda Kotb?

  Hey guys, welcome to the Joy 101 Podcast. Okay, imagine this for a second. You're a kid and you love dancing so much that you go into a competition called So You Think You Can Dance. And you're nervous and your palms are sweaty and you get out on stage and you wind up finishing 20th. Okay, what would you say to yourself? "Huh, I wonder if this is for me. I wonder if I should keep doing this." Well, my next guest didn't just keep doing that. My next guest wound up on Broadway and was Tony nominated.

• 0:47Hoda Kotb?

  My next guest wound up in a musical, a Steven Spielberg musical, nominated for an Academy Award, and won the Oscar. How about that? Ariana DeBose is the person who I am talking about. She is an actress who grew up with a single mom, loving dance. She danced since she was three. And she was one of those people who knew what her calling was. Imagine knowing so much that no matter how many times people hit you down, no matter how many times someone said, "No, not you. There are 19 other people better than you at this dance competition."

• 1:28Hoda Kotb?

  Imagine that you come back and imagine that you get Tony nominated and you are Oscar nominated and you win the Oscar. I mean, there are so many people who are in that category. They don't win earlier in life, but as life rolls on, their winnings come. So this is a fascinating conversation about resilience, about bouncing back, about what is possible, about the heights you can reach. All of these things Ariana DeBose possesses, so I hope you enjoy this conversation.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 2:03Hoda Kotb?

  Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS. I've realized that joy doesn't always come from those big moments. Sometimes you find it on the most ordinary day. I'll pop into a CVS for toothpaste or paper towels and it never seems to be just a quick errand. Maybe I'll grab a delicious Well Market Trail Mix or wander over to the Joy Word Collection. That's part of the fun. So the next time you're checking something off your to-do list, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You might go in for one thing and leave with a little more joy. Visit your local CVS pharmacy, sponsored by CVS. Every purchase is a financial decision, so it's worth asking, what am I getting out of this?

• 2:45Hoda Kotb?

  If you're using the Chase Freedom Flex Card, you can maximize your cash back on things you need. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded. Sign up for the Chase Freedom Flex Card. Learn more at chase.com/getflex. This is a paid collaboration with Chase Freedom Flex. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. Offer subject to change. Terms apply.

• 3:09Speaker 02

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• 3:39Speaker 03

  I'm Melissa Jelton, host of the What Happened to Her podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police wrote off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it and the man they suspected wore a badge.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  You never know who that devil is because he's wearing a disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an iHeart True Crime Plus subscription exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Available only to iHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for iHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today.

• 4:18Hoda Kotb?

  First of all, I'm so happy to have you here.

• 4:20Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 4:21Hoda Kotb?

  I met you many, many years ago on The Today Show when you were just kind of breaking out.

• 4:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:28Hoda Kotb?

  You've since become Tony nominated, Oscar winner, and all the things, but I want to just hit on something you just said. You went on a solo vacation and that, to me, stands out because it takes courage, it takes moxie, I think. Did it for you? Like, tell me why you wanted to take a solo vacation and what that did for you.

• 4:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I'd never been on one.

• 4:52Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 05

  And I was, I'm 35 now, so I would have been 34.

• 4:57Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 05

  And I was like, this feels crazy.

• 4:59Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 5:00Speaker 05

  And I had this realization right before I decided to go, where I was like, all I've done is work. I don't know that ever, ever really taken a proper vacation. Like, I'm someone who believes in me time and I believe in finding those tools to help yourself unwind. And I, I have them, but not outside of the context of what it is I need to do for myself in order to be able to keep working.

• 5:23Hoda Kotb?

  So this is fill the tank to work. Fill the tank to work.

• 5:26Speaker 05

  Fill the tank to work.

• 5:27Hoda Kotb?

  Got it, okay.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  And I was like, I need to go fill the tank to live. So I was like, I'm gonna go to Greece.

• 5:34Hoda Kotb?

  So you got a ticket?

• 5:35Speaker 05

  I got a ticket.

• 5:36Hoda Kotb?

  Got a hotel?

• 5:37Speaker 05

  I got a hotel and like walked around Athens.

• 5:39Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, so wait, first, you check into your hotel, there you are in your room. You're hungry.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 5:45Hoda Kotb?

  So, do you go downstairs? Do you go to a restaurant?

• 5:48Speaker 05

  Oh, well, I go for a walk.

• 5:50Hoda Kotb?

  Go for a walk.

• 5:51Speaker 05

  Well, I opened the bottle of rosé champagne that I ordered to be in my room and had a little, a little mini, mini moment for myself. And then I went for my nice little stroll.

• 6:00Hoda Kotb?

  And what was that like?

• 6:01Speaker 05

  Fabulous. Well, it's, the area was great, but it's just taking in the architecture and the people and the energy. And I was like, I will have this panikopeta. Gorgeous. Like, and then you, I bopped into just a lovely restaurant that I don't know the name of, but it looked so beautiful and idyllic and the people couldn't have been more lovely.

• 6:20Hoda Kotb?

  So you sat, enjoyed a meal?

• 6:22Speaker 05

  And I literally just said, I'll have the special. And it was this family cabbage recipe with this beautiful lemon sauce on it.

• 6:31Hoda Kotb?

  Oh God, that sounds so good.

• 6:32Speaker 05

  It was comfort food.

• 6:33Hoda Kotb?

  So do you sit with a book, with headphones, with anything, or is it just you?

• 6:38Speaker 05

  That particular evening, it was just me. And I forced myself to like, listen to the space I was in and not be afraid of, of people making eye contact or not being afraid of having a conversation or not being afraid of the fact that I don't speak Greek. You know?

• 6:55Hoda Kotb?

  That's so cool. Was, were you anxious or did you just kind of fall into it?

• 6:59Speaker 05

  I fell into it. Like, I think it's natural to have a little bit of anxiety, but I am a naturally curious person and I'm, I'm very curious as an artist. So I just needed to sort of re-acclimate. I'm like, I'm in a new space. It's okay for you to feel the nerves of newness. Like, they're, that made sense to me and...

• 7:21Hoda Kotb?

  I love that. You never know what can happen. You just sparked a memory for me, which is so interesting. So when I was working at a small station in Florida, I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I was like, ah. So I decided I was just gonna drive from Fort Myers in Aprils, which was my place. And I just drove to, I was gonna drive to the key. So I came to the first key, Key Largo, and I found a hotel and I checked in. And for some reason, I won't forget it, I was like, I took a shower in the beautiful everything, the beautiful towels and all this stuff. And I went and by then it was late. It was almost like 11 at night, so I'm gonna go for a walk. I went for a walk, there was a fishing boat and they said, we're going, it was a full moon, and they said, we're going on a midnight fishing thing. Will you come?

• 8:05Hoda Kotb?

  We need one more to, to round out this group. So I went and I remember, I was like, it was midnight, the moon was so bright, it was like, it was light on the water. We were fishing, the first person who fished got a Bud Light or whatever.

• 8:20Speaker 05

  Fierce.

• 8:21Hoda Kotb?

  And then when you, when we came back to shore, they set up a barbecue and they grilled the fish that we caught. And I remembered thinking, what an awesome option.

• 8:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:32Hoda Kotb?

  Sometimes trying something new.

• 8:34Speaker 05

  Is the best.

• 8:35Hoda Kotb?

  What did you learn about yourself or, or was there something that came out from this adventure for you?

• 8:42Speaker 05

  It was a really good reminder that I'm capable of doing things on my own.

• 8:47Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 8:48Speaker 05

  And being fully independent.

• 8:49Hoda Kotb?

  Yes.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  You know, I think it's the higher I've traveled of the echelons of entertainment. It's like you're, it's just kind of how it feels, though. Your teams get bigger, you have more people working on your behalf. And, and it is, in theory, really great to have other people doing so many things for you so that you can just focus on the craft. But I can be fully honest and acknowledging, like, it kind of made me a little lazy.

• 9:18Hoda Kotb?

  That's a very good observation.

• 9:19Speaker 05

  I was like, ooh. And I, I even, and to this day, even post that trip, I like really check myself on when I'm starting to lay back.

• 9:28Hoda Kotb?

  Right. Let other people make decisions for you.

• 9:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz it's really...

• 9:32Hoda Kotb?

  It's more than just doing, it's like making decisions about your life for you.

• 9:36Speaker 05

  Yes, being an active participant in the, the life that you are creating, in the, in the career that you want to have. Like, it's, it's such a nice notion to think that, you know, there's overnight success and then, you know, it just sort of magically continues to happen. It doesn't, it takes a lot of work.

• 9:55Hoda Kotb?

  Takes work.

• 9:56Speaker 05

  And, and I do my best work when I'm aligned, like spiritually and living, truly living and going out and experiencing the spontaneity of life helps me stay aligned.

• 10:10Hoda Kotb?

  I love all of this. I love your story from its inception, from the beginning. And I try to imagine you as a three-year-old who loves to dance. Just you and your mom, the two of you, kind of against the world.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:22Hoda Kotb?

  What was it like being part of that duo of you and your mom?

• 10:27Speaker 05

  I was the greatest. I was just the greatest. I mean... We really had to rely on each other in different ways. And in my childhood, I don't know that I was fully cognizant of what that was. I just knew that this was my mom and we had a special relationship. And she was supposed to take care of me, but I did learn how to take care of her too. Um, whether that be energetically or just her teaching me how to do my chores and me participating was part of me helping to take care of her. And I loved that. I loved that part of it. And even when things were tough, because there were plenty of moments in in our life together that were exceptionally challenging.

• 11:11Speaker 05

  We always found a way through and we found the way through together.

• 11:15Hoda Kotb?

  What, what made it challenging? What were the challenging bits?

• 11:18Speaker 05

  Um, you know, my mom was a public school teacher, so finances weren't always abundant, even though they should be. Please pay our educators. And please let them actually teach something besides those really inauthentic textbooks. Um, but I digress. Um, and dance, uh, or at least the kind of dance I was doing, you know, studio, dancing at a studio was expensive.

• 11:44Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 05

  Um, and so I was really blessed, we were really blessed that there were people that came into the path who would, would help us, whether that be, you know, I remember the day I walked into a dance theater of New Bern and I met the owner. And I, there was a television that was playing the tape. Oh, my God, the VHS tape, you guys, VHS tape of their recital from the last year. And I was staring at it and they were doing a number to that song Devil, Devil in the Blue Dress. Which I don't know if, if young people should really be dancing to that song because they're very, very young. But, um, I started figuring out the steps.

• 12:25Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, watching this?

• 12:26Speaker 05

  Watching it. And in about 10 minutes, I had figured out how to do a time step. And I was five.

• 12:31Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 12:32Speaker 05

  That's, I learned was not normal, um, for a five-year-old. And she talked to me and she was like, had you ever learned to do that before? I was like, no, I just did it right then. And she turned to my mom, she was like, I would like to help you. I would like to teach her. And so, you know, they essentially kind of scholarshiped me. And that was the beginning of me learning what, uh, not, uh, what generosity looked like. You know, because she just wanted to help, help me learn.

• 13:03Speaker 05

  Her name was Dori Lydum Benners. Yeah. She was my first sort of introduction to what generosity. I believe she's still living in New Bern, North Carolina.

• 13:13Hoda Kotb?

  Cool. Very cool. Did you have music in your, like, how, what do you mean that came to you? I'm still trying to comprehend. Is that just something inside you that just comes out?

• 13:22Speaker 05

  I've always loved music.

• 13:23Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 13:23Speaker 05

  Um, we played music in our home all the time when we were living with my grandmother. And that would have been like pre-five.

• 13:30Speaker 05

  There was a lot of, a lot of Ronnie McDowell. I don't know if you've ever heard of Ronnie McDowell, but he was heavily influenced by Elvis. So we had a lot of Ronnie McDowell, a lot of Elvis, a lot of anything, um, from, from the Motown record label.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, a lot of sixties music, a lot of beach music. So I loved like big sounds and I love strings and I love harmonies and, and I like, you know, I, this sounds so crazy, but when we would go visit my great-grandmother, um, who was alive until I was about, I think, I think I must have been in seventh grade. So I was very grateful to have that relationship with her. Her name was Lorena Wheeler Henry. She was a fabulous lady. But we would go visit her in her, at her house in Atkins in North Carolina. And nine times out of 10 on Sundays, there were reruns of Lawrence Welk playing. And I really liked, I should have known I was queer. I really loved watching all the beautiful ladies dance with the men. And that's, and it wasn't, of course, it wasn't American Bandstand, but I also loved that.

• 14:30Hoda Kotb?

  Yes.

• 14:31Speaker 05

  Like I realized, or in my adulthood, I realized that's where I began to love just watching people dance. And the joy it brought them and how comfortable they felt.

• 14:41Hoda Kotb?

  Yes, when they moved.

• 14:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, when they moved. And I loved watching how their dresses moved. Or, or, or I'd ask questions like, why is she wearing that? She can't move her legs. It's a little too tight.

• 14:51Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. So for you to go on the show, So You Think You Can Dance and to come in, you made it through the first round, but you were, I think you were eliminated.

• 15:01Speaker 05

  Oh, I was eliminated first week, Henry. It was awesome.

• 15:05Hoda Kotb?

  So here's my question, because a lot of people who might have faced that elimination, no matter what the competition or whatever it was, would have thought, you know what? Maybe this was something in my head that I was good at, but in reality, there are already 19 other kids who are better than me on this one single show. How am I going to make it? Yet you go on to be Tony nominated and win an Oscar. So at that moment, why did you continue?

• 15:27Speaker 05

  Um, that is such a good question. It's never been posed to me like that.

• 15:33Speaker 05

  Um,

• 15:36Speaker 05

  because I knew I was good. Like that is actually the long and the short of it. I knew I was good. This just wasn't my room. And if I'm really honest, kind of from the jump, like, it was something I really wanted to, to try and to pursue and, you know, like, my mom would like always say, against my better judgment, I let her go. Um, but she knew I needed to try. Um, but I think, as grateful as I am for that experience, I'm grateful for it in so many other ways. Because my instincts were kind of blaring from the moment I got to Los Angeles. And I really liked the contestants and everything, but there was just something about that space for me that

• 16:19Speaker 05

  I, I was never able to relax and I was always sitting forward.

• 16:22Hoda Kotb?

  Oh.

• 16:23Speaker 05

  And now, um, that I've continued my spiritual journey, I realized that's my instincts, like kicking in, trying to tell me this may not be for me.

• 16:33Hoda Kotb?

  Right. This isn't your room.

• 16:34Speaker 05

  It's okay. This isn't your room and that's all right. It will be a room for someone else.

• 16:37Hoda Kotb?

  What was the first room that fit right for you that you were like, this is right? This is exactly right.

• 16:42Speaker 05

  I was in, I was in New York. I was 19 and I walked in, mind you, I didn't accept this job, but I walked in to audition for a non-equity production of A Chorus Line. And Bayorke Lee was, uh, conducting the auditions. And I, I couldn't have been more alive. I was sweating.

• 17:04Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 05

  I was in, I was just feeling, like, I danced so big. And I, I've never felt more like,

• 17:14Speaker 05

  it's funny because I wanted to say unstoppable, but it's not the same as invincible. But in that moment, I felt larger than life.

• 17:21Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah. Why'd you turn it down?

• 17:25Speaker 05

  Well, I got offered Bring It On the musical.

• 17:28Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, well, okay.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  And I realized I was like, I had, it was the first time as a new adult, because I considered myself a new adult, where I had to use my critical thinking skills. And I really weighed what each job could bring me. And the reality of the situation was Bring It On presented an opportunity um, for even more growth, because Bring It On had never had a Broadway production.

• 17:54Hoda Kotb?

  Right.

• 17:54Speaker 05

  And not only would I get to learn from a, an incredible director-choreographer who felt like a new age Fosse.

• 18:03Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  You know, Andy Blanca Mueller. But I would get to work to help create a musical that might have a life after this. So I'd get, get to learn how to make a musical, participate

• 18:16Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  and collaborate.

• 18:18Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 18:18Speaker 05

  And it potentially had even more job opportunity than this one show that I love so much and I still have yet to actually do a professional production of it,

• 18:29Speaker 05

  could offer me at that time. And it was really hard. It was really hard to say, no, I'm not going to go do a chorus line with Bayorke Lee.

• 18:35Hoda Kotb?

  Right.

• 18:35Speaker 05

  Part of me is like, what were you thinking?

• 18:37Hoda Kotb?

  Wow. But look at, your path was just right. I mean, you talk about your spiritual journey a couple of times, which is clearly your North Star. It guides you. There are things pulling you. I'm sure it's like money, convenience. This seems like a good thing. Buy all those check boxes. And then there's our gut, which I think sometimes can mislead you because it's filled with all of your past mistakes too. You're like, I don't want that again.

• 19:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:03Hoda Kotb?

  But you have some other, your spirit's guiding you. So how do you decide, how does your spirit help you, you know, kind of navigate the road?

• 19:12Speaker 05

  You know, it's, it's funny. Have you ever seen that movie Fools Rush In?

• 19:15Hoda Kotb?

  I have.

• 19:16Speaker 05

  With Salma Hayek and Matthew Carey?

• 19:18Hoda Kotb?

  Yes, I have.

• 19:18Speaker 05

  I was like, it's a deep cut. I know you've seen this movie. Um, but Salma's character talks a lot about signs. Like she's very, very Catholic, but she's like, no, the signs are everywhere. It's a sign. And I used to think that I was just being like really superstitious. But my, my spirituality, of course, comes, comes from a practice, whether it be meditation or writing. And like, I do, yes, I'm queen of a crystal. I have them all over my home.

• 19:49Speaker 05

  And I, I, I give myself the time to truly like heal. And like when I dance, I see and I see in colors and I feel in colors. And that's all part of my spirit thing that I got going on. I don't know. But there are signs everywhere.

• 20:06Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 20:07Speaker 05

  Too. It's, and I don't think that

• 20:13Speaker 05

  I don't think that that it's convoluted to believe in that. But when my my solar plexus start going off.

• 20:20Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 05

  And my instincts kick in and I also see the universe show me something or play a song for me. Or show me a photo of this thing that I'm thinking about bringing back to life and I'm walking down the street and I have a meeting tomorrow. I'm like, that's a sign.

• 20:38Hoda Kotb?

  That's what I was looking for.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was like, I just needed that that quick, quick affirmation that that that I'm this is the right choice for me in this moment.

• 20:45Hoda Kotb?

  I'm on the right path.

• 20:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm on the right path.

• 20:47Hoda Kotb?

  Did that work for the Donna Summer musical?

• 20:49Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She was just showing up everywhere. Cut an escaper. Didn't want to either, but um, yeah, her, her, her songs, her. Call it her canon, the Donna Summer canon kept just playing and I. I mean, sure, there's the algorithm these days and like your phone is listening to you. Probably and it's very scary, but um. Even just when I was out and about, I'd walk into a restaurant and that's what was playing.

• 21:18Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, yeah. So have jobs always come knocking? I feel like you're turning down things, you're following your wisdom. A lot of people have a handout saying, you know, I need this now or I'm in a dry spell. Did you ever have periods where you weren't working and it's not, there's no shame in, no, I didn't have to add that.

• 21:39Speaker 05

  Um.

• 21:41Speaker 05

  I can only think of one period of time.

• 21:45Speaker 05

  But I actively chose to take a break for a second. Um, and it was between my second Broadway show and my third.

• 21:52Hoda Kotb?

  What were those two?

• 21:53Speaker 05

  Motown and Pippin.

• 21:55Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 21:56Speaker 05

  Um, and it was around the time.

• 22:00Speaker 05

  This is twofold. Go with me here.

• 22:02Hoda Kotb?

  Okay.

• 22:03Speaker 05

  So when I was doing Motown, I also realized there was something else in me that I wanted to explore. Cause I was like, oh, I have, this is a wonderful job and learning so much. Um, but I also was like, I think there's more in the the tank. I think I have more to offer. So I had chosen to start doing shows like I just off the whim emailed, I believe it was Joe's Pub. I don't know, in my brain, I thought it was a really great idea and I was like, hi, my name is Ariana DeBose and I would really like to play a show in your venue, um, can you please let me know what you have available? Just full out asked for what I wanted.

• 22:36Hoda Kotb?

  What happened?

• 22:37Speaker 05

  Uh, they responded like, here's all of our availability.

• 22:40Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  So, um, yeah.

• 22:42Hoda Kotb?

  So you went to Joe's Pub?

• 22:43Speaker 05

  So I played Joe's Pub and I would have, and the experience of it was so thrilling, but also terrifying. Cause I was like, what was I thinking? I actually have to put butts in seats. How am I gonna do that? I don't have a following like, and it was different cause like Instagram and the followers of it all hadn't really taken off yet.

• 23:01Hoda Kotb?

  So you were playing Joe's Pub.

• 23:03Speaker 05

  But I was playing Joe's Pub and I was figuring out like, oh, I have to go and talk to people. I have to promote myself and I realized then I was like, oh, I'm highly uncomfortable with that. I don't.

• 23:15Hoda Kotb?

  How did that go as an experience and what was the like, what was the show like at Joe's?

• 23:19Speaker 05

  Uh, it was fun. It was really fun. It was kind of all over the place. Um, and that's looking back on it, I was like, well, that is kind of in line with me and my taste, like I have very eclectic taste in music. We did a version of, um. Oh, my God, what was it?

• 23:38Speaker 05

  It also feels like so many years ago, but we did a Nina Simone tune and it was me and three of my friends and I deliberately wanted us all to be so different. Um, but then I also turned around and did a version of Annie Lennox's Why.

• 23:54Hoda Kotb?

  You had it all.

• 23:54Speaker 05

  I just put it all in the show.

• 23:56Hoda Kotb?

  I think we spend so much of our lives waiting for the big moments, the birthdays, the vacations, the milestones. But the truth is some of the happiest moments show up on the most ordinary days. So like this, I'll stop into a CVS because I need one thing. Somehow the best part of the trip is never the thing I came for. So maybe I'll grab a delicious well market snack or maybe I'll wander over to the Joyward Collection. It's really full of fun, cool seasonal decor, thoughtful little gifts. And those little discoveries that make you so glad you stopped in. I have to tell you, if you're an extra care member, you're gonna save on things you're already buying and those extra bucks really do add up.

• 24:40Hoda Kotb?

  Just watching that total go down at the checkout never ever gets old. I know life's busy, we're all juggling a lot and that's why I think those little unexpected moments of joy matter so much. So the next time you're running errands, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You may go in for something you need, but don't be surprised if you leave with something that simply makes your day a little brighter. Visit your local CVS pharmacy sponsored by CVS. Halloween has a funny way of making you buy things you'd never normally buy. A 10 foot skeleton, sure. A full size fog machine, why not? Three bags of candy that somehow become six bags of candy?

• 25:21Hoda Kotb?

  It happens, which brings me to the Chase Freedom Flex Card, the savvy decision that will earn you more cash back on the everyday purchases, plus the extraordinary Halloween tricks and treats. With Freedom Flex, you earn even more treats on your Halloween and everyday needs. You get 5% cash back on popular rotating quarterly categories, 3% on dining and drugstores, and 1% on all other purchases. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded. That's no tricks, all treats. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded. So sign up for the Chase Freedom Flex Card. Learn more at chase.com slash get flex. This is a paid collaboration with Chase Freedom Flex.

• 26:03Hoda Kotb?

  Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank, NA member FDIC. Subject to credit approval, offer subject to change, terms apply.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Your team is on a deadline, but moving all your enterprise data will take time your business simply doesn't have. IBM technology lets AI work with your data where it already lives. With an open hybrid cloud approach designed to build on your existing investments. It's another way IBM helps you put your data to work. Let's create smarter business. IBM. Visit IBM.com to learn more.

• 26:42Hoda Kotb?

  When you, Lin-Manuel was a huge influence on you and I think you said somewhere like it was so fun to see someone who was wildly successful and also kind.

• 26:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:52Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, you knew that those two things could coexist.

• 26:55Speaker 05

  They can exist, they really can.

• 26:56Hoda Kotb?

  See someone who showed you that.

• 26:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, he's a ball of sunshine, you know, and he's just like this big adult nerd. And I think that helps him both hold on to his joy and his curiosity. That doesn't mean things don't get challenging for him. I know they have in the past, but there's, it's just, I think, watching him navigate his own stardom and maintain his own sense of self and creativity and and find new ways to kind of double down on his

• 27:27Speaker 05

  relationships, like his friendships, like that's, it has been very inspirational to me to. Because it's challenging as you're walking your own journey, cause it can feel very isolating. When you're having a moment of success and people do what people do and sometimes your success makes them uncomfortable and or sometimes people shift how they behave around you. Or perhaps something's shifting in you, it could be any or all of those things.

• 27:52Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 27:53Speaker 05

  But he's kind of a.

• 27:56Speaker 05

  I think he'd be uncomfortable called, being called a North Star, but he's definitely like a, an inspiration point. That you can do these things and it'd be okay.

• 28:06Hoda Kotb?

  When Steven Spielberg calls.

• 28:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:09Hoda Kotb?

  And says, hey, Ariana DeBose, we'd like you to be in West Side Story. We want you to play Anita, the role made famous by Rita Moreno. Um, that's a big, that was a big ask.

• 28:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, did you say I just did the, I still gulp really big and my eyes get very strange. I told you, crazy.

• 28:27Hoda Kotb?

  That phone call, I mean, that was a life changer.

• 28:30Speaker 05

  It was.

• 28:31Hoda Kotb?

  And did you, were, like you said with Corusline, that's been made, there's some big shoes, it's a lot, people have preconceived notions. Was there any part of you that was thinking, I don't know?

• 28:41Speaker 05

  Oh, I was terrified of this. Absolutely terrified. Um, for so many different reasons. But there also was something intuitively

• 28:54Speaker 05

  there as well, like my instincts were alarm bells in the right way, like, girl, don't miss the exit, take the exit. You need to take this exit. You need to take that phone call, you need to say yes. Um, cause I had fought it. I've talked about that a lot, like I, I didn't want to audition. Um, I didn't want to. And but then once I got there, I was like, man, this feels really right.

• 29:19Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 29:20Speaker 05

  Okay. So all of these things that I'm afraid of, clearly I need to experience them.

• 29:25Hoda Kotb?

  Experience, right.

• 29:25Speaker 05

  And it's funny, I realize now it takes a lot of courage. And courage is not the absence of fear, but there's something bigger than it, you know? Like that is really courage. And I'm very proud that I was courageous enough to do it, to walk the path. But you know, it's also, it's very hard to say no to Steven Spielberg. He's very persuasive.

• 29:45Hoda Kotb?

  So was he persuasive with you?

• 29:47Speaker 05

  Um, honestly, at that point, like I'd had a, a long uh, well, what I, what felt like a long audition process and we'd, we'd just had a very long final callback day. And so I'd spent all day with him and I felt like we kinda had found, we found a way with each other. How do you find a way with Steven Spielberg? But I felt good about my experience of him and when I got that phone call, I was at a nail salon.

• 30:17Speaker 05

  So I wasn't really in a space to be like, absolutely not. Um, I actually really wasn't in a space to have conversation, but

• 30:26Speaker 05

  I just remember him talking and I remember him saying, I would like, I would like to ask you to be my Anita. And I never forgot that. He asked me to do it. Yeah, as opposed to telling me I was going to be it for him.

• 30:39Hoda Kotb?

  That's so interesting.

• 30:40Speaker 05

  That felt very different to me. And of course I said yes, and I'm very glad I said yes. Um, but that was, that was crazy.

• 30:48Hoda Kotb?

  Wow, a phone call at the nail salon.

• 30:50Speaker 05

  At the nail salon.

• 30:51Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, I can see it.

• 30:52Speaker 05

  And I'd really just gone because I'd been so busy trying to prep for my big final callback that my, I was doing the Donna Summer Musical at the time. And I'm, my nails were like ratty.

• 31:03Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 31:04Speaker 05

  And I felt like there had been a lady in the front row who kept staring at my ratty nails and I was like, cool, I can't do that. So I was in between shows at the nail salon, just trying not to be judged.

• 31:14Hoda Kotb?

  So you were auditioning while you were doing a musical?

• 31:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:18Hoda Kotb?

  By the way, for anybody who knows, doing a musical or anything on Broadway is grueling.

• 31:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:25Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, it's eight shows a week, it's two on Wednesday and To on Saturday, is that right?

• 31:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, normally you can there can there are some crazy shows that are like you're gonna do a five show weekend, you're gonna do a a two show Saturday, a two show Sunday, and then you would go cap it off with a Monday show too.

• 31:39Hoda Kotb?

  Wow, but just imagine the time, energy and effort and heart for someone who loves with their craft so much. It goes into it. So in between that you were auditioning, you get that gig. So fast forward to you're a wow, everyone's talking about you, how crazy you on the Today Show, we're like We're so excited um to see you as an Oscar nominee than an Oscar winner.

• 32:03Speaker 05

  So bananas.

• 32:04Hoda Kotb?

  You have an Academy Award.

• 32:07Speaker 05

  I do.

• 32:07Hoda Kotb?

  Wait, what?

• 32:08Speaker 05

  I know, I know.

• 32:10Hoda Kotb?

  Hi.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  Banana.

• 32:12Hoda Kotb?

  What happened to your life as a result of that Academy Award? Did it shift?

• 32:18Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:19Hoda Kotb?

  How so?

• 32:20Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, um it shifted in lots of positive ways. And I think some of the greatest things that happened to us also

• 32:33Speaker 05

  rip us apart too.

• 32:36Speaker 05

  Joyfully, but uh it'll show you where your foundations are not so solid.

• 32:41Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, tell me about that, that's very interesting.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, I I and it's funny, I I meditate on it a lot, not just that like moment in time, but just about how these exceptionally joyful things like winning an Oscar can be so euphoric. But it also, at least in regards to my own experience, invited a lot of opinion.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  I had to go through the process of kinda understanding that success can make you change if you let it. I worked very hard to try and keep my own, my own compass very strong and very clear. But that doesn't mean that everyone around you has the best intentions. And when you're a loyalist like I am. Sometimes it's very hard to cut cords, but I've also learned in my adulthood that you can cut cords lovingly. But that it it was really challenging and there was a moment where my own compass felt really cloudy and I was like why am I doing these things? Why, why am I saying yes to this job? What?

• 33:52Speaker 05

  What was the point of that? Why did I think that? And not be and and that sort of it's interesting because I think you can question why you said yes to something in the immediate and you can also question it in the aftermath because how how are businesses built? You can make the thing and then it takes time for it to come out. And not everything is going to be received how you receive it in your heart. And that's okay. I actually am someone who has made a lot of peace with that. But

• 34:23Speaker 05

  what I'm specifically talking about that sensation is I would make the decision to do something and then suddenly I was like, mm, but I didn't have the courage to say, you know what, actually, I'm wrong.

• 34:35Hoda Kotb?

  Actually, right, let me.

• 34:36Speaker 05

  Let me, let me course correct. I didn't do it instead because I had this notion of and also it's something that I learned from childhood, like you honor your commitments. And you you see it through. You said you were gonna do something, you need to do it. But I do think there are these moments in your life where honoring your commitments, you have to honor your commitment to yourself.

• 35:02Hoda Kotb?

  Yes.

• 35:03Speaker 05

  You know? And that is, that's tricky sometimes.

• 35:07Hoda Kotb?

  So after an Oscar win, do the, do all the scripts come rolling off the truck? Do people come up and say, how about this? How about this? How about this? Or, which is so funny because I interviewed Halle Berry not too long ago and she said when she won her Oscar, she said she sort of thought that was gonna happen.

• 35:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:24Hoda Kotb?

  And she said, and it didn't, and she was surprised. So everybody's got a different experience. What what's what was yours?

• 35:30Speaker 05

  I did have opportunity. However, I would say I got offered a lot of what I felt like were limiting parts. Um, because I was known for, you know, the conversation around my worties and had a lot to do with my own identity. Um, I was offered a lot of queer parts, a lot of lesbian parts, a lot of, which there's nothing wrong with that, that is great. I love us.

• 35:54Speaker 05

  I was offered, you know, so many Spanish speaking roles, even though I spoke very openly about being a NoSabo kid. I was like, I get it and I love the language, but my journey with the language I'm learning, maybe I'm not ready to do that for myself. So but what that showed me was they were paying attention to the conversation. But I had to teach them about my artistry, even though I think West Side Story is one of the best examples of my own artistry and what I'm capable of.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  It I I don't know that I received opportunities that were always wholly mm, how do you say? Wholly appropriate for my talent. I'm not someone who only wants to make movie musicals. But I'm not an artist that wants to play characters that have walked paths so closely to my own identity.

• 36:51Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, right. Why would you? Yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 05

  Otherwise, what's the fun of being an actor? Like I I I learn from my my craft every day. And if there's, if I'm playing parts that are just basically me showing up to be myself. Honestly, I can go teach dance.

• 37:08Speaker 05

  Something I'm contemplating. Debbie Allen, any openings?

• 37:12Hoda Kotb?

  I think we spend so much of our lives waiting for the big moments, the birthdays, the vacations, the milestones. But the truth is, some of the happiest moments show up on the most ordinary days. So like this, I'll stop into a CVS because I need one thing. Somehow the best part of the trip is never the thing I came for. So maybe I'll grab a delicious well-marked snack or maybe I'll wander over to the Joyward Collection. It's really full of fun, cool, seasonal decor, thoughtful little gifts and those little discoveries that make you so glad you stopped in. I have to tell you, if you're an Extra Care member, you're gonna save on things you're already buying and those extra bucks really do add up.

• 37:56Hoda Kotb?

  Just watching that total go down at the checkout never ever gets old. I know life's busy, we're all juggling a lot, and that's why I think those little unexpected moments of joy matter so much. So the next time you're running errands, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You may go in for something you need, but don't be surprised if you leave with something that simply makes your day a little brighter. Visit your local CVS pharmacy, sponsored by CVS. Halloween has a funny way of making you buy things you'd never normally buy. A ten-foot skeleton? Sure. A full-size fog machine? Why not? Three bags of candy that somehow become six bags of candy? It happens.

• 38:39Hoda Kotb?

  Which brings me to the Chase Freedom Flex Card, the savvy decision that will earn you more cash back on the everyday purchases plus the extraordinary Halloween tricks and treats. With Freedom Flex, you earn even more treats on your Halloween and everyday needs. You get five percent cash back on popular rotating quarterly categories, three percent on dining and drugstores and one percent on all other purchases. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded. That's no tricks, all treats. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded. So sign up for the Chase Freedom Flex Card. Learn more at chase.com slash get flex. This is a paid collaboration with Chase Freedom Flex. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank, N A Member FDIC.

• 39:24Hoda Kotb?

  Subject to credit approval, offer subject to change, terms apply.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Your business operates under pressure and you need control of your data. But IBM research shows only nine percent of companies have real oversight of their technology. IBM's open hybrid cloud approach is designed to give you visibility with built-in governance tools, data sovereignty and compliance reporting. It's another way IBM helps you stay in control of your data. Let's create smarter business. IBM. Visit IBM.com to learn more.

• 39:59Hoda Kotb?

  I like your, just how you navigate life, just from listening. I I'm listening to the work part, but the other part's so fascinating to me. So how do you start and end your day? I feel like the bookends of a day are pretty important to how you're gonna, how the stuff in between goes. So what do you do? Tell me.

• 40:18Speaker 05

  Really good question. What do I do?

• 40:20Hoda Kotb?

  Open your eyes, first thing.

• 40:22Speaker 05

  I open my eyes. I take five deep breaths. That is a, that is something that's become very important to me. To assess the state of my physical body.

• 40:34Speaker 05

  And I try to very deliberately put my feet on the ground. To ground myself. And that is really the the morning ritual.

• 40:46Speaker 05

  I grab a daily stone. I love that and I walk around the house with it in my morning and just like feel its energy as I'm doing my little chores. That's the morning.

• 40:56Hoda Kotb?

  Are you a coffee person, water person?

• 40:58Speaker 05

  Tea person. I'm a tea person. I do have at least two cups of tea in the morning. Black. I like black tea. Wow, I'm so strange.

• 41:10Speaker 05

  Everything's fine.

• 41:15Hoda Kotb?

  Okay.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  I

• 41:19Speaker 05

  I try not to immediately grab electronics. Sometimes it's inevitable.

• 41:24Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 05

  But if I can have, if I can safeguard a little chunk of time that is electronics free, that's great.

• 41:32Speaker 05

  But my evening, I think is more interesting to me. Um, I go for a walk. Um, and I, I love sunset and sundown. Um, cause I feel like as the sun is setting, sort of, it tells, it's telling me to chill out too.

• 41:51Speaker 05

  And it's become very important to me to like stay in tune with nature, given everything that's going on in the world. The, the best thing I can do for myself is to try and stay in tune with her.

• 42:01Hoda Kotb?

  Right.

• 42:01Speaker 05

  Um, so that's very sacred to me. Um, and then I do love a tea at night. I love my Moonbrew Vitamin Sleepy Gummies. And I take those at least two hours before I hit the hay.

• 42:13Hoda Kotb?

  And then, and do you sleep okay?

• 42:15Speaker 05

  I sleep great through the night.

• 42:17Hoda Kotb?

  Good. I know, it's so interesting.

• 42:19Speaker 05

  This is not an ad, but I love them gummies. Jesus, sorry.

• 42:23Hoda Kotb?

  Are you an early riser?

• 42:25Speaker 05

  Depends. Um, I'm in a cycle right now where I love sleep.

• 42:29Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, good. Okay.

• 42:30Speaker 05

  Like, I love sleep, but, um,

• 42:34Speaker 05

  like post, if I'm coming off of a work trip, nine times out of 10 for the next month, um, I will probably up, uh, be up around 5:45.

• 42:43Hoda Kotb?

  Okay. Let's talk about the Carlyle.

• 42:45Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:47Hoda Kotb?

  Where you're gonna be performing. Um, Joe's Pub, you called up and said, hey, pick me. And they were like, oh, sure.

• 42:53Speaker 05

  I did.

• 42:53Hoda Kotb?

  The Carlyle is, uh, one of those iconic New York

• 42:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:58Hoda Kotb?

  spots that people have played there from Sinatra, all, just through all of them.

• 43:05Speaker 05

  Sign.

• 43:06Hoda Kotb?

  Tell me about you and the Carlyle and what you're gonna be doing and what that's about.

• 43:12Speaker 05

  I'm really jazzed about it.

• 43:13Hoda Kotb?

  Yep.

• 43:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, I said it, I'm jazzed. Um, it's the type of venue I've always wanted to play. There's something very romantic about the Carlyle to me. And it's funny, I think about, this just came to me, but it's a truth. Like Anita had her American dream, like her version of the American dream. And I realized like part of my American dream was like playing a place like the Carlyle.

• 43:38Hoda Kotb?

  Hmm.

• 43:38Speaker 05

  Like, that's what I could like imagine for myself. And I wanted to like, it'd be a smaller spot. It'd be like moody and wear my pretty dress. Now, when I was first dreaming that dream, I had no idea I'd have an undercut and braids. That would be my go-to. But I couldn't feel more like in my body. Like, I'm a very, and even from the award circuit to now, I feel like I've lived so many lives.

• 44:06Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 44:06Speaker 05

  So I'm excited to be playing the Carlyle at a moment where I can bring the fullness of that life, if I so choose to, which I will, cause that's part of what makes me a good artist. But I'm excited to experiment. Mark, the great Mark G. Meadows is going to be my music director. He's so fabulous. Um, we did a, a moment at the Freely Fest, which is, it's a very cool, um, music festival that celebrates the First Amendment and the freedoms that it protects, especially for artists. Um, but we sang Strange Fruit. He helped me put together a beautiful arrangement of Strange Fruit to talk about the importance of not only the song, um, but that moment in time.

• 44:50Speaker 05

  And how it's, that song is one of the greatest, I think, examples of how government interference can splay into artistry. Um, however, I digress. Um, I absolutely fell in love with him. And so we're putting together a lovely jazz trio. And I'm still deciding my setlist, so if you have, uh, if you have requests, I'm, I'm all ears. But I'm sort of excited to kind of take it down and storytell a little bit, but also I'm in a space where I just want to put my feelings in the songs.

• 45:21Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, I love it. September 29th, by the way.

• 45:24Speaker 05

  September 29th, we open, we play through October 3rd.

• 45:26Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, you do? Through October 30th? That's a good, nice little.

• 45:29Speaker 05

  Five nights at the Carlyle?

• 45:31Hoda Kotb?

  By the way, that's a big deal. That's a big deal. You're also, Scarpetta is another, a thing you got cooking. Jamie, you and Jamie Lee Curtis have a vibe.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  We do. She's a bestie.

• 45:41Hoda Kotb?

  Is, tell me about that relationship, cause Scarpetta, uh, involves Nicole Kidman, Jamie Lee Curtis, who's been pushing for this project forever. And you pop up in this and Jamie Lee was tapping you. Tell me about, about your relationship with her.

• 45:57Speaker 05

  Well, our relationship sort of started, um, when I handed her her Oscar, which sounds so crazy. Insane. Um, cause the only reason, yeah, the only reason I was there was because I had won the year prior. Things you don't, things you only dream of saying. Um, but yeah, our relationship stems from that moment and it was.

• 46:18Hoda Kotb?

  You guys met, you gave her the Oscar.

• 46:20Speaker 05

  We met that night and like, I, you go through the backstage and like, it's cool. I got to witness someone else go through what I went through in the immediacy after winning an Oscar. And it, I, I just, it was so special to watch her walk that path. And I think she walked it really beautifully and bravely. And I, I just enjoyed her spirit. You know, and as we've gotten to know each other, it's like she's lived quite the life. She's exceptionally wise as she is joyful. The amount of joy that woman puts out in the wor- world is really something. Um, even when she may be feeling not so great. And I was like, uh, we recognize that in each other at times.

• 47:04Speaker 05

  Is that you can still be a beacon of light, because sometimes putting more light into the world can help you refill your cup as it's happening. But that's where that originates. We, Nicole, Jamie and I make up this really cute little family trio of women. Um, Italian women, I don't know, but watch the show, it's pretty fun. Um, and Jamie Lee Curtis plays my mother, Nicole Kidman plays my aunt. The show is called Scarpetta. Nicole Kidman plays Scarpetta, everybody.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  Let's keep it real. Nicole is the center of the show. But it's so fun to hang out with these women and learn from them. And I, I look at, I look at it as another learning opportunity.

• 47:42Hoda Kotb?

  I feel like you, I feel like a good trait you have is you are a good picker, like you pick good people in your circle.

• 47:49Speaker 05

  My picker's not broken?

• 47:50Hoda Kotb?

  Your picker's not broken. But I think having, being able to select good people in your circle is, is one of the most important things you'll do.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  It is.

• 47:58Hoda Kotb?

  Like, I, I mean, I feel like I pick good friends. And I, and I know my life is gonna be good because of that. I make sure that the people who are in my orbit, and they say, you know, like you're the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:12Hoda Kotb?

  So choose your friends wisely. Who is your 2:00 AM phone call?

• 48:16Speaker 05

  Oh, um,

• 48:19Speaker 05

  three people just came to mind.

• 48:20Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, oh wow.

• 48:21Speaker 05

  Which is great.

• 48:21Hoda Kotb?

  Lucky you.

• 48:22Speaker 05

  Um, I consider them all best friends. One would be my best friend from high school who, um, was my prom date. His name's Jonathan.

• 48:32Speaker 05

  Uh, I have a friend Lauren, who is a budding Broadway producer and she's brilliant. Um, and she, we've known each other for maybe four years, but we have the same birthday.

• 48:43Hoda Kotb?

  Oh.

• 48:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:45Hoda Kotb?

  And a connection.

• 48:45Speaker 05

  And a connection. We really get each other. And then my friend Morgan, who, um, I met on Scarpetta, actually.

• 48:53Hoda Kotb?

  Isn't that so, by the way, I love these kind of friendships.

• 48:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:56Hoda Kotb?

  Cause you can make dear friends all through life.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  You can.

• 49:01Hoda Kotb?

  It doesn't, it doesn't have to be your childhood friend or your friends from school or whatever, or even your first job.

• 49:07Speaker 05

  It's funny, I have dear friends from every chapter of my life. I was just watching the new Jennifer Garner

• 49:12Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  TV show. Um, and it feels like she chose friends from different chapters of her life while she's going through this big life moment. And I'll tell you what, there's nothing like a big life moment. When my mom passed, the people that were around me, and there were really five dominant people. Um, those are my people.

• 49:28Hoda Kotb?

  When was your mom the proudest of you?

• 49:32Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 49:40Speaker 05

  She was proud of me my whole life. I think she was proud every day that I survived, you know? In a world that can be so built up against people who feel different or who are described as different. Um, she was proud of the life I was living. It doesn't mean we didn't have our moments.

• 50:00Hoda Kotb?

  Of course.

• 50:01Speaker 05

  Because that's mothers and daughters. But she was proud of what, how I was walking through the world. I think she was shocked at that when I won that Oscar. If you rewind, if you rewind and like freeze frame on her face, you can see a whoa, whoa.

• 50:19Speaker 05

  I remember hugging her and she was like, you gotta get up there.

• 50:23Hoda Kotb?

  Were you able, you said that there were struggles. What was the, what was the funnest thing you got to do for your mom? In terms of physically giving her something?

• 50:30Speaker 05

  Oh, well, and she was someone who like, didn't really want gifts. Like, she wasn't really like that.

• 50:37Hoda Kotb?

  That's not her language, yeah.

• 50:38Speaker 05

  It wasn't her language. Um,

• 50:42Speaker 05

  Oh my gosh. It was more trips for us. Like, um, that we, we got to a space where it was like, I couldn't give her a gift that would really like encompass the moment, but I could give her an experience.

• 50:56Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  And she was my date, well, she was my date to the Oscars, but she had the most fun at Hamiltony night. When Hamilton won a lot of Tonys. And we went to the after party and la. She ate a Jumbo's, was living her whole life. She was dancing with Common. Pretty sure she was flirting with Common. Sorry if he was with somebody, but she was having a great time. She was like, that's Mariska Hargitay.

• 51:24Speaker 05

  And then Mariska, sorry, spit it. Um, but at some point we were all dancing and Mariska like said hi to my mom and she was like, this is great. I like this. Like she had a good time wherever she went and that was the greatest.

• 51:38Hoda Kotb?

  Well, I see all that in you. So she did good. She did very.

• 51:42Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 51:42Hoda Kotb?

  So last question before we go. Um, I always ask my guests, what's bringing you joy these days?

• 51:49Speaker 05

  The little things, the little things are bringing me joy these days. Honestly, like every day that I get to wake up and open my eyes and take five breaths. That brings me such joy.

• 52:05Speaker 05

  The walks, noticing the flowers. Like it really is the ordinary things.

• 52:10Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah. Does singing bring you joy?

• 52:11Speaker 05

  Of course it does. Singing and I've catch myself doing it without realizing I'm doing it.

• 52:16Hoda Kotb?

  Like you did in here when we were trying to adjust the mic.

• 52:18Speaker 05

  Like to me, uh, singing now is, is talking. Like I will, I do this with my friends sometimes. I don't realize I'm singing a song, but I'm singing them a song that describes how I feel about them.

• 52:30Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, sing me a song.

• 52:33Speaker 05

  You are so beautiful to me. I love you.

• 52:40Hoda Kotb?

  I love you too. Thank you for that.

• 52:44Hoda Kotb?

  All right. Ariana, since you and I are on the same kind of zen, we're, we're both in this kind of zen sphere. I have an app called Joy 101 and a company called Joy 101. We have a lot of great practitioners. So Malana Snow is gonna just bring us home. We've just got three minutes, so we're all gonna chill out together. Should we try it?

• 52:59Speaker 05

  We should.

• 53:00Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, let's try it.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Hi, my name is Malana Snow and today I'm going to show you an evidence-based breathwork practice that is proven to help you regulate your nervous system when you are in a high pressure moment. And it's called a psychological sigh. It's very simple and very powerful. You breathe into the nose two times and you'll exhale it out once through the mouth. Are you ready to try it with me? Breathe into your nose. And then again. And then sigh out.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  Let's try that again. Breathing into the nose.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Keep going. So you can go slower. You don't have to go fast. In fact, I find that going slower helps our body catch up to the information. Our body's nervous system communicates through breath. So when we do a sigh as an exhale, as a release, it tells our brain and body that we are okay, that we're safe and that we can let go. And that's why so often when we feel relief, we have a sigh of relief. So let's try it again together. Breathing into the nose. And again.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  I find that breathing out with a sound of relief has an extra working power. There's something about sound that also communicates to our brain and body that we have even more relief than we thought. Try it again. Breathing into the nose. And again.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  Let's do it one more time. This time, as you exhale, not only do you do a sigh of relief, but you'll also release it with your mouth with a sound. And then you will let your body feel the relief, just like that. Want to try it together? Breathing into the nose. And again.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  It feels so much better. This is a practice that you can do in the moment. This is a practice, you can go to the bathroom. You can go to the corner and do it. Nobody notices or recognizes that it's a practice to relax your nervous system. And those that do, they'll say, oh, good idea. I should do it too. It's a beautiful, easy release for tension and stress. And it is proven to soften your body, release your tension and help get you back into a rest and digest state. I hope this was helpful for you today and I hope that you'll come back to this often whenever you need it. All right. I'll see you next time.

• 55:58Hoda Kotb?

  Malana Snow.

• 56:00Speaker 05

  So good. Love you, girl. Love you.

• 56:02Hoda Kotb?

  Thanks for doing that with me.

• 56:03Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 56:04Hoda Kotb?

  Namaste.

• 56:05Speaker 05

  Namaste.

• 56:09Hoda Kotb?

  I've realized that joy doesn't always come from those big moments. Sometimes you find it on the most ordinary day. I'll pop into a CVS for toothpaste or paper towels and it never seems to be just a quick errand. Maybe I'll grab a delicious Well Market Trail Mix or wander over to the Joyward Collection. That's part of the fun. So the next time you're checking something off your to-do list, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You might go in for one thing and leave with a little more joy. Visit your local CVS pharmacy, sponsored by CVS.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  I'm Melissa Jelton, host of the What Happened to Her podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police wrote off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it and the man they suspected wore a badge.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  You never know who that devil is because he's wearing a disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an iHeart True Crime Plus subscription exclusively on Apple Podcasts, available only to iHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for iHeart True Crime Plus and subscribe today.

• 57:18Speaker 05

  On recent episodes of The Questlove Show, I chatted with JoJo about her music and Wallow267 about his story, everything in between. Don't invite me to karaoke. I'm gonna make it weird. Someone's gonna try to sing Leave It Out or Too Little Too Late or Baby It's You. Oh no. And I'm gonna be like, okay, cool. Check out my conversation with JoJo, Wallow267 and more on The Questlove Show. Listen to The Questlove Show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Peace.

• 57:49Hoda Kotb?

  Why have so many crop circles appeared around Britain? How did thousands of people demonstrate powers of telepathy? Can the dead suck the life from the living? Join me, Tim Harford, for a trip into the paranormal throughout Halloween month on Cautionary Tales. Listen to Cautionary Tales on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.