Rob Lowe ON: How Tapping Into Spirituality Transforms Your Life & Following The Signs To Your Purpose

Four decades in film, television and theater, two New York Times bestsellers, multiple Emmy, Golden Globe, and Screen Actors Guild Award nominations, and a touring show - no one could accuse Rob Lowe of taking it easy. In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty sits down with the iconic actor to talk about his life and new podcast. Listen in to learn more about Rob Lowe’s journey from stardom to rock bottom and back again. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have.

• 3:00Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. There's no denying that the world is hurting right now. We need transformation more than ever. The desire to change is there, but taking that first step is a different story. That's why I created Genius. Genius guides you in every aspect of your life. Through curated workshops and guided meditations, Genius helps you discover your purpose, grow in self-love, and uncover your new hope. Workshops and meditations are centered around the five areas of wellbeing: personal, relationships, health, spirituality, and work and finance.

• 3:42Jay Shetty?

  Together, we're creating an environment for transformation through coaching, consistency, and community. Within the first 90 days of Genius, members report feeling 40% less lonely, 75% more motivated, and 40% happier, and even sleeping 50% better at night. Plus, we have a special offer on for a limited time only. Try Genius for just $15, a one-month trial for only 50 cents a day. Gain access to the workshops, the meditations, and the global community of over 10,000 members. There's also the Genius Cancel Anytime Guarantee. Cancel within the first 30 days and receive a full refund. If every heart and mind on the planet was able to experience the pure love of Genius,

• 4:25Jay Shetty?

  I think the world we live in would be a very different place. Choosing Genius is choosing wellness, love, and growth. Join Genius today, go to jshedigenuis.com. That's jshedigenuis.com.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Looking back on it, I knew when I looked at the page and saw the name Sam Seaborn. I had, now knowing what I know, I know I had, it's that tingling, it's that feeling, it's that fantasy, whatever you want to call it, what it actually is, is a vision, a voice, whatever you want to call it.

• 5:09Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, you know that I love sitting down and diving into the minds of fascinating people, people who have incredible stories and backgrounds, so we can learn from their experiences, their reflection, and their insights. And today, I feel super grateful and honored, because we have none other than Rob Lowe. Now, Rob Lowe's iconic career spans four decades in film, television, and theatre. He's also an acclaimed author. Rob has been nominated for two Emmys, six Golden Globes, and four Screen Actors Guild Awards, in which

• 5:52Jay Shetty?

  he won two. He starred in the 80s classics, there's so many to name, and Rob's career also includes so many fantastic books as well. His two memoirs, Stories I Only Tell My Friends, and I've got some excerpts I want to share with Rob that I absolutely love, and Love Life, are both New York Times bestsellers. He's taken his first memoir and made it into a touring show called Stories I Only Tell My Friends Live, which has received rave reviews throughout the country and sold out in London, my hometown. Now, Rob is hosting and producing Fox's Mental Samurai, also recently starred in and produced Fox's highly anticipated 911 Lone Star. And today, I'm excited to talk to Rob about his career and

• 6:35Jay Shetty?

  his new podcast, Literally. Welcome to the show, Rob Lowe. Rob, thank you for doing this.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Thank you. I'm exhausted just from listening to all the things that I've done. I think I need a nap.

• 6:48Jay Shetty?

  It's about time you take a break, Rob, I think, but you just started a new podcast. I just want to say thank you for taking the time, but also just it's so wonderful that we share so many mutual friends and I'm excited to connect with you today. You've lived an incredible life and I think that so much is to be learned and gained from your experiences and I'm grateful that you're going to share them openly with our audience today.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  You're very, you're very kind. Thank you. I appreciate that.

• 7:13Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Well, I want to start off on some different tangents. I try and do this with people that have such well-known careers as well.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:20Jay Shetty?

  And I heard that since you were a little boy, you loved spooky legends and

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:25Jay Shetty?

  scary mysteries and mysterious creatures. And I'm curious to know what's one of your favorite legends and why?

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Okay, we're, we're going to go down the wormhole right off the bat. I, I, I remember my, one of my earliest, not earliest memories, but I can remember being like eight and nine years old and writing files of Bigfoot sightings and keeping like a little file cabinet. I don't know, I don't know what I thought I was, like some, some Indiana Jones of the supernatural and, but I still love all that. I'm, I'm obsessed with Bigfoot and, you know, aliens and all. I just, I love it. And I've, over the years, realized why I love it is because it truly is the unknowable and, and I love oral traditions

• 8:14Speaker 01

  that have been passed down from, from ancestors to current day. And there are certain things in the oral tradition world that show up again and again and again and again and again, however incredible they may seem. And, and I love to try to get to the bottom of why that is. So that, that interest sort of, you know, I still have it today. Area 51, every time I go to Vegas, I, I watch the specially marked planes take off and go there. I've never been there, but I have been to the They say that that is like the the false flag version like that's the one that they would want to draw everybody's attention to but where the really good stuff happens is in in

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Utah and I can't remember the name of it but I did an episode of The Low Files where I went there with my my boys basically The Low Files is a is a show you can still get on I think iTunes and it's really an excuse for me to just hang out with my boys in a in a souped up Scooby Doo pickup truck and and cruise around looking for stupid stuff like that and we actually went to the what was supposedly the real area 51 didn't see one thing not one thing

• 9:24Jay Shetty?

  Well then it's super secret tell me about that actually because you speak a lot about you know fatherhood and spending time with your boys what what's been like the latest adventure you've been able to go on with them that you think's been meaningful

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Oh for sure the latest adventure is becoming an empty nester mourning literally mourning that loss and then cycling through the amazing satisfaction of them on their own lives then them being right back in the house with covid

• 10:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah

• 10:01Speaker 01

  And all of a sudden we are like spending more time together now than we did when they were in high school because we right in the last four months we spent more time than we ever did because in the middle of the day they would always go to school obviously when they were kids and babies so um living with your grown kids is a real um learning experience and it's great but you realize you know 20 mid 20 something men were not built to live with mommy

• 10:40Speaker 01

  And or daddy, I don't mean that in a sexist way, they're, you know, they're meant to be out conquering the world and and and doing their thing. And I I bet you it's very, very challenging for them and they've been champs. They've been just champs and I'll take every minute I get. So it's good, good for me.

• 11:00Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Yeah, no, I'm sure a lot of parents will be happy hearing the challenge and how difficult it is because it's it's been so common for so many people, especially with children that are older and, you know, children that are expect to be out there and about and and all of that. But let's go back to yours, your childhood or your your earlier days of what people may not be aware of of your story or my audience may not be. And, you know, I I want to hear about why you didn't go to UCLA because you have such an interesting story and and I think it's a fascinating one. So I'd love for my community to hear it.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Well, so I I always wanted to be an actor. I was blessed with what I've now come to realize was an actual vision of my future at eight years old and started in like community theater and local school productions and, you know, like a just a young acting nerd. And then through life circumstances, my family split up. My mom moved us west. We eventually ended up in California, having nothing to do with me or my my aspirations.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  And I started a little career and I had jobs here and there and got to be a teenager and then it all dried up. And it was over. And I thought, well, maybe maybe this isn't my destiny and what do I do now? And I'd had this bout of early success at fifteen, sixteen. And so it was kind of I had to reconcile with was I not good enough?

• 12:43Speaker 01

  There were people telling me it was purely an age thing. In fact, not to bore you, but it's a significant part of the story. When you make movies and TV, when actors get to be sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old, they don't get hired. They hire eighteen-year-olds to play those ages because of the labor laws.

• 13:07Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Eighteen-year-olds can work all day. The other ages cannot. So there was a chance, a chance, that it was the labor laws.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  So.

• 13:23Jay Shetty?

  It was the labor laws, definitely, Rob. It was the labor laws.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  We love you, really. We'd love to hire you, but it's the labor laws, kid.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  So I decided, you know, my other passion was the law, like my father, and incidentally, like my oldest son, now lawyer, and marine biology.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  And so I was studying marine biology and loving it, and I was going to be a marine biologist. And there was one casting director, I was still audition, wasn't getting anything. And there was one casting director who was very supportive and just said, just give it to your eighteen. Just, just give it to your eighteen. I was like, great. So I applied to USC and UCLA, to their film schools, and got accepted. And on the day where I had to officially apply, I got the job in Francis Ford Coppola as The Outsider on my eighteenth birthday.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  And the rest was, was sort of what I did. That was the path.

• 14:35Jay Shetty?

  What I love about that is the...

• 14:39Jay Shetty?

  You know, the timing of you at fifteen, sixteen, having to start questioning yourself and, and dealing with failure and dealing with rejection, that's a very early age to face it after having had some success too. And then for it to all turn around in two years and, and begin a new journey again. Do you think that, do you, and, and as a father too, do you think that we expose children to failure too young or too late? And what are the kind of benefits that you gained from having to go through that at that age?

• 15:13Speaker 01

  That's such a great question, and, and I'm, I'm so passionate about these kinds of talks, cause I, I, like I said, I loved raising my, my boys and continue to, to. And I actually think we exposed them too late to failure in our iteration of parenting. You know, I, I'm, I'm from a very different generation. You know, I was raised in the, the late sixties and into the crazy seventies. You know, now we, everybody wants to reverse engineer everything for success for our kids. And, and I'm, I'm as guilty of it as anybody. But my parents, you know, literally threw me to the wolves.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Like, they were like, "I don't know, go do it, whatever, come home at, when the sun sets."

• 16:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  You know, and, and so you're, you're, you have to navigate your way very much more than we do today. And for me, you know, um, you know, when I would have to get on the, go after school, get on the public, the bus and take it for twenty-two miles, get off, wait for another bus, take that bus into downtown LA, get off that bus, take another bus to Hollywood, check myself into the meeting, sit in the waiting room, go in, have the meeting, audition in front of somebody, be judged, turn around, take all those buses back, doing my homework,

• 16:43Speaker 01

  have dinner and go to sleep and wake up and go to school at twelve and thirteen.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  My wife wouldn't let my kids get on a bus at all. True. At twelve. Yes. So it's just a really different mindset and I'm really grateful that I was able to have that, that sort of crazy freedom that we would never let our kids do today.

• 17:07Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance

• 17:49Jay Shetty?

  style, budget and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your

• 18:34Jay Shetty?

  next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

• 19:19Jay Shetty?

  It's so hard, I guess. I'm not a parent yet, and that's partly why I'm asking it. Because I feel like when you're not a parent, it's really easy to say like, oh yeah, I want to give my kids the freedom. And I want to have, you know, you can have all these principles. And then when I'm speaking to a real parent and I hear that, and then you start to empathize with the fact that, oh no, we get so much into like control and protecting and defending and wanting to kind of, you know, I remember I had some friends back in London who, I think their daughter was like two years old. And she would like be running around in the corner and she'd be playing with like candles and like putting her hand over candles and like, you know, burning like, and I'd always be like, do you want me to go grab your kid? And they were like, no, just, just leave her, like let her, you know.

• 20:02Jay Shetty?

  I was like, what? Are you sure? And they just had, and I'm not recommending that as a strategy to any parents. I'm just saying they had that freedom that they were trying to train their kid. What do you think it was for you that pushed you forward to keep going on? A to look into law, but what gave you the mental resilience to go back to that audition at eighteen, to go back into that world?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  What I do, every part of what I do, books, TV, public speaking, touring, all of it. The dirty little secret is that I would do it for free.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Do not take me up on that. I like money. But, um, so I think if you have that, if you're lucky enough, if you're lucky enough to have that in your life,

• 20:48Speaker 01

  you, there's just never even a question of what you're gonna do. Never, there's, there's never a question for me of what I was gonna do. The only time that question arose is when doing what I wanted to do, I was stymied.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  And that happens all the time, by the way. It still happens.

• 21:07Jay Shetty?

  I, just so everyone knows, if I ask questions quickly, it's because I'm paying Rob by the minute for this podcast, so.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Yes. And I demand pay, I demand Bitcoin. Thank you very much.

• 21:17Jay Shetty?

  Wait, how do you find it though? Like as somebody who's so

• 21:19Speaker 01

  What's happening with my hair?

• 21:21Jay Shetty?

  You have a great

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Something's going on with the hair and I'm not, it's covid hair. Wait, okay.

• 21:26Jay Shetty?

  I was actually

• 21:27Speaker 01

  All right, now we can continue.

• 21:28Jay Shetty?

  I was actually firing your hair. I was gonna ask you who your barber or hairdresser was because that's, that's good hair, right? I need, I need some tips. I like it. So, uh, but, but as someone who's so sure about what they wanted to do from such an early age, you know, so much surely has gone and achieved it and beyond and, you know, probably gone beyond what you imagined too and just what you've created. Do you find that today, especially with your children as well? You said your eldest is a lawyer. There, today I find like so many people are struggling with finding what they wanted. There's a lot of challenge of purpose. There's a lack of understanding where to put my attention and energy and like, Rob, where do I start? And I get this question a lot from my community and that's why I'm bringing it up to you is because

• 22:14Jay Shetty?

  I feel like especially for a lot of young people growing up right now, A, there's so many options. B, there's so much comparison because you can see how many followers everyone has and how many dances everyone does on TikTok and all the rest of it. And, and it's overwhelming and, and people go, you know, where do I start? How different is that from the eighties and, and nineties or two thousand? How different was it at your time? Or actually were you like, Jay, you know, I was comparing myself too. Like I was feeling the same way.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Uh, well, it, first of all, it, in terms of the culture and in terms of the sort of prism through which

• 22:53Speaker 01

  adolescents, young people judge themselves against their peers is incomparably different than, than what we had. And yet the core stuff is exactly the same.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  And, um, you know, I picked a business where it's 100% predicated on

• 23:22Speaker 01

  A judgment criteria that you will never fully understand. So it's one thing to go into a job as an accountant, a lawyer, a doctor, a Realtor, a dentist, whatever the hell it is, and you go in and you don't get the job, you know it's, there's a tangible reason. When an actor or a creative person goes in, there's, first of all, they're gonna lie to you all the time. And, and it, what you realize is, having been now on the other side of it, of casting and producing and making content, you realize it's never personal. Never, ever. It's always, "Well, we have too many blondes. We need a brunette."

• 24:07Speaker 01

  Literally. And you think, "I wasn't good. I didn't get the scene right." It's like, it's much less about you than you think it is, always. And on the other side of it, you know, I don't know if you know this, but I, I've been sober, drugs and alcohol for 30 years now, right?

• 24:29Jay Shetty?

  Amazing.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Thank you. So, on that journey,

• 24:36Speaker 01

  I've learned a lot. And, and one of the things I learned, there are a lot of truisms, a lot of buzzwords in recovery. I love them. A lot of people think, particularly when people come to you, they go, "All these hacky old sayings." Meanwhile, I love them. And the one that I love most is, "Never compare your insides to someone else's outsides."

• 24:58Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  And that helps me a lot. I don't do that anymore, actually. Really, truly, it's baked into my DNA now, so I'm pretty good with it. But, you know, coming up, you know, you look over at Tom Cruise, and, or to this day, you know, my boy Tommy kills it. You know, and there are, there are other people like that. And, you know, but, but I don't know what that life is like behind closed doors. Well, actually, I do, a lot of them.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  And I'll take mine. Mr. President, my company tore me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami.

• 25:38Jay Shetty?

  They all heap the blame on me.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing there, that's what.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  I'm not the first then.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  Digger, see the trailer online, only begins October 2nd, rated R, under 17, not a minute without parent.

• 26:01Jay Shetty?

  And that's super powerful, what you're sharing. And hearing you say it just has so much, so much gravitas, hearing you say it, because it's not just an ism. You know, like when I hear you say it, it just, I can feel it because it's so real. And like you said, A, the first part, by the way, I want to go back to what you said. Now, looking at it as a producer, as a creator, as a director, realizing that that failure is less about you than you think it is. That's a huge, that is a huge point to be making. Like if everyone had that experience first, maybe they'd realize how little it was to do with them. And the second point that you just made, that when you dive into people's real lives and that statement that you said, that don't judge your inside by someone else's outsides, I think that is such a great way to live.

• 26:46Jay Shetty?

  But it takes so much time to actually build that as a muscle that works.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:51Jay Shetty?

  Because it's so easy to lose away.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that's funny, any kind of growth that I've ever had, and I've, you know, got a long way to go, is exactly that. It's muscle memory, it's like my golf swing. It's like, it really is like the golf swing, because it's like all these fine muscles, these tiny little fine muscles that you can't work out, can't train them, really. But it's repetition, repetition, repetition, trust.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Trust your swing. Just trust your swing. You know, it's all of those things is what it's like for me for sort of spiritual growth and for learning. And with enough reps, with enough swings, it's muscle memory, it's grooved into you.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  And, and you know, you don't have to think about it. I don't have to think about comparing myself to other people today because I've spent so many moments telling myself that and reminding myself of that, that it's grooved, it's grooved into my golf swing.

• 28:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. I can't, I can't wait to feel that way. That sounds amazing. And everyone, you heard it here, you know, just got to keep swinging. Tell us that, Rob, like, tell us, you, you mentioned there, like, you apply the same as your golf thing to your spiritual growth. Where, where did your, what is your spiritual journey and where did that stem from? Like, tell us a bit about that, because I'm not even sure. I know so much about that from my reading and research and observing, but what's that been like for you?

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Well, you can only imagine that when you go on Jimmy Kimmel, they're not so interested in hearing about my spiritual growth.

• 28:37Jay Shetty?

  No, that's why this show exists.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yes, exactly, exactly. Next on Ryan Seacrest, Rob Lowe and his spiritual growth.

• 28:46Jay Shetty?

  His spiritual.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Not happening.

• 28:47Jay Shetty?

  Spiritual growth formula.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Well, I, I think we're all here to figure out why we're here.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  And

• 29:02Speaker 01

  and those of us that it's a long tradition that follow that curiosity are on the spiritual path, whether they like it or not. And I don't think of myself as what I think of spiritual as. Like, you're, you're spiritual. You are a monk.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  You're spiritual. I'm an actor. Just a guy. Just a dad, just a dad. Do you understand? Um, and yet, right, but, but I am seeking and curious and reading and praying. And prayer's been an interesting thing for me because um, my family were Methodists.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  The only time I ever went to church was with um, my grandpa. And because that was the generation that did it, that's what everybody did and he played golf and he went to church and he went to Rotary. And ran a business and voted for Nixon and that's who he was, he was that guy. Right? Um, and then, so then my parents were like fondue, Eton, open-toed, Birkenstock. Like teachers and lawyers and listening to the fifth dimension and the age of Aquarius and letting me run amok. And you know, doing the I Ching and reading Jung. Right? So that was like what I got. And so I found myself somewhere in the middle of all that.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  And again, with uh, with sobriety, a big component of that is, you know, a power greater than yourself. And people who have an issue with organized religion or the word God or any of that stuff can make, make the power greater than themselves. Nature or love or whatever, and it, and it works the same. And that's how I started out, I was very uncomfortable with the notion of God.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  Or any of it, it was very hard to even say the word for me. And really uncomfortable praying, really, like do, wouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't do it frankly. And they, I was told to fake it till you make it. I'm an actor, I can fake anything. So I would, I would literally get on, and it was really hard to get on my knees, by the way. And I'm a firm believer now in getting on my knees because I, it's, it's a um. It, it's, it's a humbling. Right, you're humbling yourself to something greater than, how do you know that it's, how do you show that it's greater than you? Better than humbling?

• 31:53Speaker 01

  Um, so like I'm only getting on my knees, by the way, for something that's greater than me. FYI. And so, once I got comfortable doing that, and it was a joke, I would feel like an idiot. I would feel like a fool. More than anything, I felt like a fraud.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  And muscle memory, swinging the golf club, golf swing. Uh, it started to feel natural. And now it's, it's, and this is, and this has really only been within the past five years.

• 32:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  And, and now it's really a big, a big part of my life. And, and I feel, um, connected to something bigger than myself. And things that used to baffle me, things where I would react one way or get that anxiety or that, that, that email that, oh, uh, oh, I don't want to, uh, I don't want to open that. Right? Now, I just, it's like, something comes over me. And, and the next thing you know, like I'm out of my own body. I'm putting one foot in front of the other. I'm answering the email. I'm saying something, but I'm not even saying it. It's, I don't know where it's coming. And it's, and it works out so much better.

• 33:16Jay Shetty?

  Wow. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that, actually. I really, I really appreciate that. The theme that you were speaking about humility. I've been sharing this story lately that I, that I read, which, which fascinates me. I can never check whether it's true or not, but it's, it's a story of Benjamin Franklin. And supposedly it said that he had a journal that he used to carry around with him. And in this journal, he had 13 precepts, which were like 13 qualities that he was aspiring for in his life. So it had things like simplicity, tranquility, integrity, like he had a list. And, and he said that he often failed on the list too. Like he would like eat too much or spend too much money or whatever it was.

• 33:56Jay Shetty?

  And then supposedly in his last days, he was, he was asked, which of the 13 did he not accomplish in his life? And as the story goes, he said it was the 13th one, which happened to be humility. And he said that that was the one that he did not achieve. And of course, ironically, if he said he would have achieved it, then he wouldn't be humble.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  That's right. Yes, exactly.

• 34:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but it's

• 34:19Speaker 01

  That's a great one.

• 34:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's such a beautiful reminder of this, that humility is so often not talked about, or if it is, it's seen as a weakness, like you're saying, like, why would I ever get down on my knees? Why would I ever pray? Why would I ever see? And I think there is such a stigma with humility as a weakness, or as a nan, or inferiority, but actually, as you're saying, it's the most liberating, because you get whatever power you believe in to work through you, and allow yourself to be far more, less dependent on your own fallibility.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're, counterintuitively, your strength is in direct proportion to your humility.

• 35:03Jay Shetty?

  Wow, I love that.

• 35:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  And we, and we, we live in a time where bragging, swagging is a sign of power, prestige. And, um, and I mean, if you turn on the radio, you're not hearing one song about humility. I can tell you that.

• 35:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. That's a great way of looking at it. That's such a good example. Give us, you're the perfect, you're a perfect person to talk about this, actually. So, you know, you're, you know, hugely attractive, heartthrob, that everyone's into you, like, you've been super confident your whole life, extremely charming, you know, uh, great communicator, everything like that. What, how do you now, especially with us evolving this conversation, how does someone practice humility and confidence?

• 36:01Jay Shetty?

  Because I think that we usually run to either extreme and like you found yourself in the middle of these two ideologies. I'm always like, yeah, we need to find ourselves in the middle because too much like humility in the negative sense turns into low self-esteem.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:17Jay Shetty?

  And and confidence in the extreme sense turns into ego and arrogance. So how do you find yourself being like, I'm Rob Lowe, I'm confident about who I am, but I also understand humility. And by the way, from the moment you and this is what I find so endearing, and this is definitely from my monk training, it's like we were almost trained to believe that the most endearing, amazing quality in a human was humility. And from the beginning of this interview, from the moment I saw your face, you have demonstrated nothing but that.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 36:47Jay Shetty?

  But I also feel confidence, but I also feel confidence from you in a good way. And so I want to understand and therefore as soon as we started talking, I was like, oh, this is, you know, I love this person already. Tell me, tell me about that, how you've learned to do that in your own life, because you've experienced, you know, such heights.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Well, you're first of all, you're very kind and you're just catching me at a good moment, believe me, I'm nobody, nobody bats a thousand in the, in the major league, but as you know, in baseball, if you hit 300, you're going to the hall of fame.

• 37:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Um, so I always, in all seriousness, I, I do like to remember that part of it.

• 37:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes, good, good point.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  Right, but so I, I had a friend who did a lot of work with men, men's groups and men's issues and stuff, and he used to say, it's such a great thing, that you should look at your personality, psyche, whatever you want to call it, as a pie divided into three archetypes that you should equally be.

• 37:47Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  And the archetypes are Curly from the Three Stooges.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Clint Eastwood and Gandhi.

• 37:59Jay Shetty?

  Oh, okay. This is, this is a dream. I've never had this before.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  So, which speaks to what you're saying is, is, you know, all Gandhi is not good.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  People will run roughshod over you.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  All Clint Eastwood is no good. You lack empathy and connection and love. And, you know, all Curly isn't good. You're just a fun fool having fun and you're floating through life, but the three of them together.

• 38:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  That's a person.

• 38:38Jay Shetty?

  I love that. What great advice. What a great way to put it. I absolutely love that. And what I love the most about it is that life is so much more full when lived that way. And, and it's, and, and I think people forget that. I, I was saying this to someone the other day because uh, we, I was talking about monks and having lived as a monk. And by the way, when, when you said that, like, you're an actor and I'm a monk. I feel the same way about being a monk. Like, I was just some kid from London. Like, I'm just some average kid from London who was chasing everything that everyone else wanted as well. And I got really fortunate that I met some amazing people when I was really young. And, and that's really it. Like, I'm that guy too. Like, I'm just this guy from London who had a very normal life.

• 39:22Jay Shetty?

  And, and just was very fortunate to meet some really empowered people at, at age 18 that changed the trajectory of my life. But, but when I look at it, it's like, the funny thing is that monks are also hilarious. They're childlike. They're so, they're so different to what people perceive because we only see what you like what you're saying. With Clint Eastwood, you only see one version. You only see, even with Rob Lowe, you only see one version because the world only allows that person to display one version of themselves. But actually, a full person is is so much more embracing paradoxes and polarities. And like, you can be assertive and affectionate, and you can be kind and courageous, and you can be,

• 40:04Jay Shetty?

  I love, that is such a great, who is this friend? That's a great, great example. I love that.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, his, his name is Justin Sterling, and he did, uh, he's had a career helping men, and I found it to be amazing. You might, you should do a deep dive on him.

• 40:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, I've never heard it explained that well. I've heard the same principle and point, but that is the best I've ever heard it being explained.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  Well, what also is great about it is, um, you can, so, and not, not to get into judgments of other people, but we all have friends who, who go, who seem stuck in their lives, or whatever it is, and you can go, oh, they don't have any curly in them. Like, it's really easy to diagnose.

• 40:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  Right?

• 40:46Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, that, it's easy to diagnose everyone else's problem.

• 40:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, and, and, and, you know, and yourself, too, like, when you're like, in your life, I, I realize all of a sudden, you know what, I, I've, I've been all, I've been all curly. I need a little, I need to ramp up the Clint Eastwood, I need to take care of some business. Or, or whatever.

• 41:08Jay Shetty?

  I need to be Gandhi, yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, or I need to be Gandhi, which is usually, for me, that's usually what it is. I mean, we're sort of in Gandhi land here today, you and I, so, I'm definitely, I'm definitely letting, letting my Gandhi out, but I think if you ask my, my family, it's like, there's, there's a lot of Clint.

• 41:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and, and that's why, like, just as that example of taking it a step further, like, just as we have all of those inside of us, we also need people around us who bring out those parts of us for us to realize we have them.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  One hundred percent.

• 41:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  What, which is why, it's, no, just, it's why it's really important, to the extent that we can, to have a diversity of experience around us. And, um,

• 41:55Speaker 01

  You know, it's, and this is not the going, this is not the world's greatest, smoothest segue right now, my podcast, but it is why I started a podcast because of the sort of diversity of thought of the people that are in my life. And, you know, you have your golf buddies, you have your show business buddies, you have your high finance buddies, you have your spiritual gurus, recovery-based people, and within that clique, a lot of them don't resonate with each other.

• 42:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  But I resonate with all of them because I'm interested in that.

• 42:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. Let's talk about, let's talk about that. I didn't realize, this, this conversation has moved so fast. I didn't even realize we've been talking for like 40 minutes.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  No, it's great. It feels like five.

• 42:47Jay Shetty?

  I know. I'm like, what? Yeah, I just literally looked at the time. I'm like, yeah, we started at 11. That's great. Tell me about a guest, and you were mentioning it before when we first came on, and you were talking about, tell me about a guest that has come on that you either learned a new story from, because you're interviewing people that you know, and people that you're friends with. Like, tell us about someone who shared a story that you didn't know, or a story that they reminded you of, and you're like, oh, how did I forget that? Like, a good memory. Tell us about one of those.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Well, I, I, I had Tiffany Haddish on my show. We talked a ton about what, how the pain her community is in, and how that affects all of us. And it was, it was so raw, and moving, and insightful. And, you know, I've had so many years of, of therapy that I, I just did the therapeutic lesson 101, which is shut up and listen. And it's, it's great because the podcast is, is number one, always really funny. Like, my podcast

• 43:53Speaker 01

  is funny. I'm not, it's light, it's funny, it's escapism, it's entertainment. And just when you, just when you least expect it, you might learn something. So that's sort of the brand of it. And then to do something with Tiffany where it got so real, so fast, and to have a guest whose life experience could not be farther from mine.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  And then to find our common experience, where you end up going, "I'm just like her. She's just like me," when we're nothing like each other? That's, I think, really the gift of getting to talk to people who you truly, truly don't know. I mean, talking to people that you know really well is also great. Gwyneth Paltrow will be coming up. I've known Gwyneth since she was 18 years, 17 years old, and wondering if she should be an actor or not. She was literally going through what I was going through. And it's exactly the same thing. She's, "I don't know if I'm gonna make it. I don't know." Here's your Oscar.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  So that's a really different conversation and really fun, and no one's gonna talk to Gwyneth the way I do. So it's pretty, it's, it's pretty great.

• 45:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I'm so glad you're doing that. I think, you know, you've had like what, Chris Pratt, Magic Johnson, Conan O'Brien, what a, what a great list to guess, but more importantly, and I, and I think as I said at the beginning, it's you're getting to have a conversation with them that no one else can have with them. And, and I think that there's something really powerful about that. And so I hope that a lot of people will go and listen to it literally because it's, yeah, for me, it's if you're fascinated by people's journeys, but also, like you said, in, in a fun, light-hearted way, and you might learn something. I think people will learn something. I think people will learn a lot more from you than, than you even know because I, I think just listening to people's experiences in a place where they don't feel they have to filter,

• 45:55Jay Shetty?

  or they don't feel like they have to construct an identity, or they don't have to make sure they mention something, like you're just giving them freedom to be themselves. And I think we always learn something when people get to be authentically themselves.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Well, you know, you go through life and at some point, you're, you're, like I said, you're wondering why you're here. And part of that question is, what do I have to offer? Like, what's special about me? And there are a lot of actors. I mean, I've played parts that a hundred other actors can play. Every once in a while, I'll play a part that only I can play. I've had that and then I know what they are. Uh, you know, that's the West Wing, that's, you know, uh, behind the candelabra. I mean, there every once in a while, there's something that I know only I can do. But the truth of it is, you know, a lot of other guys could and vice versa. You go, really? Okay, then what is, what is my special sauce?

• 46:54Speaker 01

  And everybody has a special sauce, everybody, everybody.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  And I think the real issue is most people don't know that.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  And then the hard thing is finding out what it is. And that sometimes is not easy. And what I, I have a friend, another friend who used to say something great, which is, you know, in life, particularly in work, don't, don't just do what you can do. Do what only you can do.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  And what I've realized for me is my thing is I'm a communicator and a storyteller. And that is at the basis of the acting. But it gets much more brought to the surface in as my work as a, as a memoirist and one man show, and now the podcast. Those are the things only I can do. Like, I mean, I don't mean only I can do, I don't mean it in that way, but I mean, like,

• 47:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I get it.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Like, you know what I'm saying?

• 47:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  So, and, and I try to, I try to talk to my sons about that too. You know, it's like, what's, what's your special sauce?

• 48:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  And it's, it, it can be a lot, by the way, for some people, it's a lifetime journey to find out. And that's okay, too.

• 48:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  That's totally okay, too.

• 48:15Jay Shetty?

  No, and I, I think that's a beautiful way of looking at it. And it's, it's kind of how I, I approach this podcast too, where I want to ask you questions that only I would ask.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:25Jay Shetty?

  Because there's so many questions I can ask you, like, we could talk about your whole career for multiple podcasts. And, and it's fascinating, I am fascinated by your career. But I also know that those are things that I may be able to learn from listening to your conversations with other people.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:42Jay Shetty?

  And you're, you're reminding me of You're reaffirming my confidence in myself of wanting to ask questions only I can ask. A really good example of that is when we had, you know, when we had Kobe Bryant on the podcast. It was, you know, it was months before everything happened, but I remember not talking to him about basketball because I like basketball, but I love soccer. I'm from England, like, you know, football, soccer is my sport. I like basketball, but I can't talk to Kobe Bryant about basketball in the same way someone else can. But my passion with Kobe was about storytelling because he had his studio and he was building all this incredible kids books and books to educate kids through sports and documentaries.

• 49:27Jay Shetty?

  And for me, it's like, that is the conversation. And now when I look back on that, what I loved is that he was so happy and peaceful in his retirement because he had found his, his purpose that only he could do.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 49:42Jay Shetty?

  Like what you're saying. And I think that is such a powerful point that you've made because I think it's so easy to start thinking like, oh, well, maybe I should talk to Rob about this. So maybe I have to ask questions about this. Or maybe I have to become an expert in basketball because I'm talking to this legend.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 49:56Jay Shetty?

  And now I'm going to become an expert in drama and acting because I'm talking to an icon. And you just lose yourself in that, right?

• 50:04Speaker 01

  100%. And it's good because we're both supporting each other in our interviewing techniques. Because I will get, I will get on with someone and, you know, not be as familiar as I should be or whatever. And I feel like, oh, I'm shirking my responsibility. I'm being lazy. I'm not doing my homework. No, no, no, no, that's not, everybody can do homework. Everybody can read the bullet points. Everybody can watch their last Netflix special and, you know, get all this. Everybody can do that. What only I can do, and only you can do, or ask the questions that only we would ask.

• 50:41Jay Shetty?

  Yes, exactly. And you always want time to ask everything, but you never do have it.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  Never.

• 50:47Jay Shetty?

  You know, I do want to talk to you about your toughest role that you've ever done. I do want to talk to you about, you know, the role that you do feel like the most yourself. And let's actually do that. Let's talk about the role that you feel, the one where you said like you felt like only you could do, and how satisfying that felt despite the success or failure of the actual product maybe as well.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Well, also how scary when you get the script and you go,

• 51:17Speaker 01

  not only am I only the person that can do this, but at the moment, I'm the only person that knows it.

• 51:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  Right?

• 51:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  And so I will never forget reading the West Wing's first episode, Pilot. And when I saw the, again, looking back on it, as I'd become, like spiritual visions, whatever you want to call them, are so subtle and nuanced that they happen to us every day and we forget them, we dismiss them, we don't notice them, we think they're bullshit, whatever it is. Looking back on it, I knew when I looked at the page and saw the name Sam Seaborn, I had, now knowing what I know, I know I had, it's that tingling,

• 52:09Speaker 01

  it's that feeling, it's that fantasy, whatever you want to call it, what it actually is, is a vision, a voice, whatever you want to call it.

• 52:22Jay Shetty?

  I love that. What should we do when we have that? That's beautiful because I think you're right. What you said was so good that like, we just, and whatever anyone's, I want to know what you think of the ways we can hold on to it or what we do with that feeling because you're so right. Most of us just go, oh, no, it's just, it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing. And we just dampen that voice, whatever that voice is. What's a way that you've found now where you're like, okay, no, I'm engaging with it. I'm connecting with it. I'm using it to my advantage.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Well, this is exactly where I am right now in my stage of trying to figure it all out, is, oh, oh, that's what that, oh, great, that's, thank you. That's what that is. Okay, good. All right, great. I mean, that's literally where I where I am. And I think it's again, it's reps and it's it's muscle memory. And it would be like, it would be like, it's no different like the, you know, like when you eat a spicy food for the first time and you realize, ah, it's like, you did the first time, you go, what is that? And then you think about it. Oh, I know how it happened. And you start, you start getting, knowing

• 53:26Speaker 01

  the signs and the signals and knowing when to hold on to it. So, um, it's the recognizing, because it's so subtle, it happens to us more than we know. And, you know, we're on our Instagrams, or we're driving the cars, we're changing lanes, we're talking to our kid, whatever we're worried about paying the bills, whatever it is, it doesn't have the power to get through into our consciousness that those issues do. So I, I think, well, this is, this is, oh, the other thing is, people always told me is about meditation. So getting, getting sober, that's was always the number one thing, meditate, your daily meditation, and you're like, I'm not meditating, you mad? And every time I tried to meditate,

• 54:10Speaker 01

  by the way, I fell asleep. And, and then it was like, well, I must not be doing it right. And my problem is I have a real fear of not doing things right. And if I, if I don't think I can do them right, or if I don't, or if I think it's going to take a long time to learn to do it right, I don't want to do it.

• 54:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  So meditation is really new in my life, finally. And again, direct correlation for quiet time, I really want to call it meditation and being downloaded with what you want, direct correlation. Turns out, all the people were right. Who'd have thought? All those hundreds of years of people telling me that meditation would be good. Who'd have thought that they were right?

• 54:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. I hope also people told you that when you, when you, I always say this, if you meditate in the beginning and you fall asleep, it is your mind and body telling you you need rest. And, and it's literally like an alert and a signal. I say that because I, I, I've been teaching meditation for so many years and that's a common thing that people experience. And I'm like, yeah, because imagine for the first time you've been still and you've allowed your body and mind to do what it wanted to do. Like that's when you're present with your body and your mind and your body and mind switches off, guess what? That's what it's been trying to do. But we keep pushing ourselves. It's kind of like that feeling of like when you've been running around for weeks and you've been on planes, you've been running around, you've been moving around and then you stop and all of a sudden when you stop, you fall ill.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 55:42Jay Shetty?

  Why? It's because your body and mind are finally catching up with how they want to feel because you finally stopped. Whereas if you just kept pushing on that tour or you just kept running around and jumping on that plane, your body doesn't get a chance to do what it needs to do to heal.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  And so I think we, we are tempted to do that our whole lives.

• 56:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  To, to, to, to, to get on the planes and, and we do our whole lives. And then we get towards the end and we go, oh, well, is there more? Where am I going? What is it gonna be? What's depth? All that stuff. And now it's too late. And so the, the quietness has, has become, you know what COVID gave it to me? That's the, that's the gift.

• 56:29Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Because I also believe, I'm a huge optimist and I believe that there's a reason for everything. And I think part of my secret sauce was my optimism. And I, I, I'm not a, I, I don't believe in victimhood. I just don't on any level for anybody. Um, and I just don't buy into it and uh that, so COVID takes away work, makes you this, all those things it does. For me, it was, I look at the gift of it and the gift was time to be silent, time to have nothing to do. Forced into doing stuff that I never wanted to do, would just sit with myself.

• 57:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, that's beautiful. And that, it's so fascinating because the part of your book that I picked out that I love actually speaks to this. So this is from your, a section of your memoir, The Stories Only Tell My Friends. And, and this is what, what Rob says. Rob, do you mind if I read this out?

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Please, oh, great, yeah.

• 57:26Jay Shetty?

  I won't be able to do it in your voice as well, but I will try. So it says, "I'm so hammered that I can barely stand. The girl I love has just left me because I can't keep my word and I have no integrity. My grandfather is dying, my mother is in crisis, desperate for help and comfort, and I am cowering and hiding in shameful avoidance. I've arrived at the bottom. Since I was a boy, I've been running, running to make my mark, running to avoid reality, running to avoid pain. And now, a moment of clarity, I can run no longer."

• 58:06Jay Shetty?

  And I, I love that. And I, I wanted to share it with everyone because it's such a, it's, it's so beautifully told. And everything that's beautifully told is hard to live, kind of like it would have been really hard to actually experience. And then, when you share it that way, I, I hope that it gives people that, that pause and that stillness today, hearing that. I don't know how much time you have, Rob.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  No, I'm good. I, I'm good. That, that, that moment was, people always talk about what, what was your, what was your bottom? In other words, what was the moment that you hit the bottom and decided to stop drinking or whatever? And that was it. That, that's, that's the piece of the book that you just read. And my, my mom had called me to tell me my grandfather had had a heart attack. And I was too out of it to pick up the phone. So I was listening to her talk on my answering machine. So I'm listening to her to talk and I'm standing right there and not picking up. And that's the, the, the moment that you just read. And, you know, listen, I'm, I'm just lucky and blessed that I had a moment of clarity.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  I mean, thank God I had it, you know, that's great. A lot, you know, a, a lot of people maybe don't have it or maybe don't listen to it when they had it. And, you know, uh, but just you'd be hearing it. It brings it, it brings it all back. But, but even coming off the heel, it's probably why you brought it up at the point in the interview with what you did is it's, there's something, there's a similarity in stillness, stopping, running.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  You know, living with yourself, you know, you can't run from yourself. That's the thing about meditation. It's it's being in that, being in your whole, being inside your body and present time.

• 59:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and it's what you've said before. I've heard you say this, that with with therapy, what you've appreciated about it is that you've got someone else who's helping you see patterns that you don't see yourself. And when we're running and we're moving like you're describing, like running for this, running for that, you you can't see patterns. And and I realized that in myself, I feel the same way during during this lockdown. I have noticed so many patterns in my work, in my purpose, in my relationships that need to change, that I would not have noticed if I was, I was meant to have a book out during this time, which has got delayed. And so I would have been running around on a tour across the world doing that. And I would have completely missed, and this would have just been delayed and postponed again, of really being aware of what needs to change in my work, my relationship.

• 1:00:34Jay Shetty?

  And and it's it's shocking to you sometimes, you're like, oh, I thought I was a, even me as a meditator, I thought I was a meditative person. I thought I was a mindful person. I thought I was a conscious person. And you realize just there, you know, it's always an ever evolving journey. You're never there where you're like, oh, yeah, now I've got the perfect routine and the perfect meditation and I'm going to spot every one of my blind spots. And it doesn't work like that, you know, like, yeah.

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's it's it's like another thing I always try to remember is it's about progress, not perfection.

• 1:01:07Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, absolutely. And that's and that's a hard one to hold by. Rob, you've been so generous with your time today. I could go on and talk to you for hours, but I want to be cautious of your time. And I know that we we said this time, so I just want to check in with you.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  This is great. But you, I I really do want to have you on the podcast now. And I've got so and and we'll just continue this talk.

• 1:01:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Except I will have to figure out how to interview you.

• 1:01:31Jay Shetty?

  But I want you, this is what I love about it. And and you've made it so clear. And I've got five more questions to ask you, which is our final five.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, great.

• 1:01:38Jay Shetty?

  A quick rapid fire. But the, I love what you said, that I will have more fun as an interviewee being asked questions that only you would ask me. Because you probably, and I hope I've tried to do it justice today, but it's like, I'm always thinking about that, that I just don't want to ask the same question that someone gets asked everywhere, because then they have to tell the same stories and share the same events and the same stuff. And it's like, I mean, I get bored of doing that. And I'm not, I haven't been doing this for four decades. So, you know, I can't imagine how bored you get.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  No, that's why, that's why this, this interview feels like it's taken three minutes.

• 1:02:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  I mean, it feels so short, because we just, it's so much fun to, to not talk about show business all the time.

• 1:02:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, and you do that so well, and there are plenty of places. But yeah, these are our final five. So these questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. So they're the fastest.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  Do I do have a sentence? It doesn't have to be one word. It can be a sentence.

• 1:02:40Jay Shetty?

  It can be a sentence, which is one.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Can it be a run-on sentence?

• 1:02:45Jay Shetty?

  If I allow, if, if, if I get really intrigued, if I, if I get really curious. So if you spark my curiosity in the first sentence, then yes, I will, I will provide permission. Uh, this is my, my control free. Uh, but, uh, these are the, Rob Lowe, these are your fast five. The first question is, uh, what's something you want to give your children that you didn't have growing up?

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  It's a doozy.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Oh, boy. Um, oh, oh, for sure. Consistency.

• 1:03:26Jay Shetty?

  Oh, okay. Okay. I'm going to let you expand. I'm, I'm intrigued.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Consistency of my support, presence, um, and backing up my promises and words to them.

• 1:03:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Beautiful. Wonderful. Okay. Question number two. What do most people misunderstand about being an actor?

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  They think it's about lying when it's actually about finding the truth.

• 1:04:05Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, that's a great, that's a, that's a great tip. I think it's so easy to just fall into that. That's, that's beautiful.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Well, they would say, they would say like, well, how can you believe anything he says? He's such a great actor.

• 1:04:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  And I say in my book, only bad actors lie. That's bad acting.

• 1:04:21Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Good actors find the lie, which is the dialogue, and they pull out and deliver the truth.

• 1:04:32Jay Shetty?

  That's great. I love that. Question number three. Uh, what did you once chase in your life that you no longer pursue?

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Being cool.

• 1:04:42Jay Shetty?

  And now, now you're effortlessly cool. So it worked out just great. Question number four. Uh, this, this one, I really like this question and it takes a bit of time, but I like asking it because it kind of really shows someone's values. But what do you know to be absolutely true that other people disagree on? So what are you so sure about, but that people would be like, eh, I'm not so sure about that. And it's just, it's subjective. It doesn't have to be a fact or a, you know, it doesn't have to be true. It's just what are you so sure about that other people in your life would disagree on and maybe not?

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  I've recently become sure of what, of what, that there's more for us after we die.

• 1:05:24Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  And it's a long-winded, but I had a, I, I, you obviously are familiar with vivid dreaming and all of that stuff.

• 1:05:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  So I've, uh, that's been happening to me as I've evolved. And, um, I was taken to the, to that place. It was amazing. I mean, it was like shown to me, like. I know, I know it as certain as I know I'm looking at a computer screen and you're on it. That that is what happened and that's what I was downloaded with or take whatever you want to say. I know it sounds like ooga booga Shirley MacLaine crazy, crazy talk. But dude, it happened. I saw it. I know what it is. I know what it is is exactly as if I were describing Paris, France to you. Know what it is?

• 1:06:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  I know what, okay, so here's what I saw.

• 1:06:16Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  It looked like, it looked like the, it looked at those beautiful landscapes in Avatar. Like so lush and gorgeous and beautiful.

• 1:06:25Jay Shetty?

  Andorra, yeah.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  You just couldn't believe it. And I was me, but I wasn't me. I had no body. I had all my thoughts and feelings and ability to think. But it was like being, if you've ever been hypnotized, I don't know if you've ever been hypnotized. But if you're hypnotized, you, you feel exactly the same, but meanwhile, when you try to move your hand, you can't.

• 1:06:50Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  You feel like you could get out of your chair at any minute.

• 1:06:53Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  Because you're you, but in meanwhile, you can't.

• 1:06:57Jay Shetty?

  Yep.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  So it felt like that. And, and it was so full of, I don't know if you've ever wept with joy, like heaved and wept with joy.

• 1:07:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  That's what it felt like the whole time. And so joyful that I was literally weeping. And then I, then I, then because I'm me and I can still think, I thought, oh, but where are my boys? And where are my wife? They're still there, back there. And then the great realization is no, they're actually already there. Because time is not linear.

• 1:07:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, definitely not.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  And that's what was the, the mind blower for me. So the notion that we pass on and we'll be meted by grandpa who's already there. It's like, no, no, you're already there.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  I know that sounds really crazy and heavy and insane, but I'm just telling you, I saw it. I know it. Other people think I'm crazy, but listeners of this podcast think they're like, oh my God, I listened to the podcast. Rob was kind of interesting. Didn't know he was crazy. Didn't know he was crazy.

• 1:08:09Jay Shetty?

  Until 104, I was like with him and then.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:14Jay Shetty?

  Up until one hour, four minutes, I was with it. Like I was, nah, but no, but.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  I'm like the guy, I'm like the running back who's run through all the tacklers and now I'm about to score the touchdown, get out of this podcast for people going, wow, he was awesome. And then I fumble it on the one yard line with a story about Avatar.

• 1:08:35Jay Shetty?

  Well, you know what, Rob? I think more people who are listening and more people who are becoming aware in their own way, it's part of us also learning to realize how unique the journey of life is and how unique people's experiences are and to not assume something before we've been exposed to it. And I think that's a skill. Like I don't think it's about people listening and going, oh, Rob, yeah, I get you. I'm with you. I've done that. It's actually us going, well, I've not experienced that, but maybe I'm not exposed to something and I haven't tried something. Right? Like that's the question.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  That's more valuable.

• 1:09:11Jay Shetty?

  That's way more valuable. Like people may not be able to agree with you or have the same experience, but it's the same with parenting. It's like, you may tell me what parenting is like, but because I'm not a parent, I can just be like, Rob, what do you know about parenting? You know, like, but it's like, I've never experienced parenting. So who am I to know that without having experienced it? And I think that's the same with spiritual reflection, realization, meditation, connection, prayer, whatever it is, anything that is intangible in a physical material sense, anything that is immaterial, it needs to be experienced to have a perception on it. And I think all of us, I mean, that, I mean, I know this is sci-fi, but the best movie that explains it so well is Doctor Strange.

• 1:09:55Jay Shetty?

  And you look at Dr. I don't know if you've ever watched the movie.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  I need to watch. It's on my list.

• 1:10:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so you look at, okay, I'm not gonna give it away, but what's the movie? And it literally sums up what you're talking about. You will actually love it from a principal point of view of what you're sharing. You will love it.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:10:11Jay Shetty?

  So I'm gonna give it away.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  Oh, good. Doctor Strange. I'm writing it down.

• 1:10:16Jay Shetty?

  And it comes with great, and it is.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Oh, he's great.

• 1:10:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Fifth and final question of your final. We went on so many tangents, but I loved it. What was your, what is the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  12 months?

• 1:10:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  That it's really important

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  to be alone

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  with my thoughts

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  consistently.

• 1:10:48Jay Shetty?

  Amazing. Thank you so much. A big, big, big thank you to the one and only Rob Lowe. Please go and check out his new podcast, Literally with Rob Lowe. It's on all podcast platforms and apps. It's a great joy to listen to. He's obviously told us, two guests that we didn't even know were coming out, Tiffany Addish and Gwyneth Paltrow. So a lot to look forward to. Rob, I'm excited for this to be the beginning of a new friendship, genuinely. I've.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Yes, me too.

• 1:11:15Jay Shetty?

  I couldn't believe it at 40 minutes when you were like, when we started doing the podcast. And I was like, what? It's been 40 minutes? Like, and we're not even in the same room. Like, you know, it was really, really great. And thank you for the opportunity to come on yours too. I look forward to it. And please feel full confidence to just ask what only you would ask. Because it's gonna be so fun for me to.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  I am good.

• 1:11:37Jay Shetty?

  On my toes, you know, on my feet, like just, it's gonna be great. So I'm excited and you can bring out the funny in me. I was gonna say, my wife is like, brings out the curly in me. So when I'm around, my wife is Gandhi and curly. She's both. And, and, you know, I, I sometimes, for long periods of my life, took my life very seriously, but my wife was really able to help me, help me get out of that.

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  You got, you gotta have all three pieces of the pie, for sure.

• 1:12:06Jay Shetty?

  You gave so many great insights and nuggets today, man. Like beyond anything I could have imagined, so many great stories and analogies. And yeah, it's been such a joy spending this time with you. And thank you for being generous with your time as well.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Thank you. This is great. I'm really looking forward. We're gonna keep our connection going because I loved speaking with you. I'm a big fan and new friendship. I love it. Appreciate it.

• 1:12:56Speaker 04

  Mr. President, my company foreme of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami.

• 1:13:03Speaker 04

  They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess and Digger's gonna dig us out. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:13:12Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled. You freeze to death. That's what...

• 1:13:16Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:13:20Speaker 03

  I'm not the first then.

• 1:13:21Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.