Kunal Nayyar ON: How To Stop Obsessing About The Future & Programming Your Mind For Peace

Jay Shetty and Kunal Nayyar sit down to talk about Nayyar’s journey from India to California. From the moment he first experienced acting, Nayyar knew he’d found his passion. Learning how to handle the intensity of the experience of acting, however, was something he wasn’t prepared for. Watch this video to learn how Nayyar discovered that simple intention is the key to contentment. You’ll also hear how he learned to let go and embrace himself to find freedom within. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 Want to have YOUR best year yet? Join me for my Free Online Workshop: 5 Intentions for a Purpose-Filled Year https://jayshetty.me/purpose See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a cellar or northeast regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  You have to give up your opinions about the world. You have to give up your ideas of the world. You have to give up your ideas of who you are and how you view the world to truly be free. To truly be free. People want to be more loving and more confident and more positive and more peaceful, yet they're not willing to exchange the one thing that is in the way, which is their idea of themselves.

• 3:18Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the best place in the world to learn, listen, and grow every single week. Thanks to each and every one of you that tune in, that download the episodes, and that connect. And you know that my promise to you is to try and find guests that are going to help you find awakening, find growth, learn new techniques, learn new skills, and even open your minds up to a new way of living. And today's guest is going to do just that. He's a very, very dear friend, someone who's... I've had so many great offline conversations with him that I've been probing him to say, "Let's record this and share it with the world." So today's guest is none other than Kunal Naya, best known for his incredible work as Rajesh

• 4:01Jay Shetty?

  on television's number one longest-running multi-camera comedy, The Big Bang Theory. The series has been nominated for multiple Emmy, Golden Globes, SAG Critic Choice Awards, and won the People's Choice Award for Favorite Network TV Comedy three years in a row. In 2015, Kunal made his New York theater debut in The Spoils. He starred in the off-Broadway play alongside Jesse Eisenberg, who also wrote the play. Today, I'm excited to talk about his career as an actor and also his philosophy on life. Kunal, thank you for doing this, man.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  That's a rousing, rousing introduction. Wow. Thank you.

• 4:37Jay Shetty?

  It's all honest, it's all true. And the best thing about this is Kunal has had one of the busiest weeks. He's flying off to London tonight and he still found time to do this. You're a real friend, Kunal.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  No, thank you. I'm so glad. Thanks for having me. I'm a huge fan of everything that you're doing. So anything I can do to be a part of it.

• 4:52Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man. And the way we met is so, so fun because I remember there were just so many random touchpoints. So we have a lot of mutual friends who'd mentioned you to me and said, oh, you two would really get along. You could, you could talk for hours. And then the crazy thing is I was at a Lakers game with my wife. And she sees you, she's like, oh, that's Kunal from Big Bang. And you were far away, so we didn't, we didn't get to say hello that day. And then literally the week after we were talking.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:16Jay Shetty?

  And it was like this beautiful series of events where you're just like, the universe is trying to bring you closer to someone. That's how I felt anyway.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  No, absolutely. I call it the six degrees of separation from being Indian. That's what happens.

• 5:29Jay Shetty?

  That's what it is, that's what it is. But let's, let's start with the Indian question because I know you have a passion for this. When's, when's the last time you played cricket?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Oh, um, this time I was home after Big Bang. I've been home four times since May. This time I was home, we bought a cricket bat and in the driveway, my cousin and I were playing. And it was such a wonderful feeling because it brings back all the memories. I watch cricket incessantly too, so I'm, I'm a huge fan.

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  I know you're a Premier League guy.

• 5:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm a Premier League guy. Yeah, I'm a Premier League guy. But no, no, it's always, it's always fascinating to hear about people's interest. And when you first moved to the US, you worked as a university housekeeper.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was in the housekeeping department. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into, but the, the minimum wage in Oregon was slightly higher than most of the states. So it was a nice amount of money for me. And I just did it, you know, I didn't think too much about it. It wasn't such a big deal to me. So I did anything that was required of me.

• 6:23Jay Shetty?

  Tell me some of the things that you had to do, any fun stories, Eddie?

• 6:26Speaker 01

  I mean, cleaning out, you know, the dormitories is not a, the big trash compactor and you pull it out and the things you see people throw away, it's quite disgusting.

• 6:35Jay Shetty?

  Especially in a university, that's like the worst time.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  That's a, and also cleaning out professors who had passed away, cleaning out their offices. That was a very interesting experience. But the most fun I ever had was on, was it on, I think Monday evening, Monday afternoons, we had to wash the church windows and I would get to use the power washer. And that was like, for me, the most incredible experience ever, you know, I was like Arnold Schwarzenegger, like shooting down, you know, and it was really, it was fun. I got fired unfortunately because, well, I didn't get fired, but I was got released because I forgot to put the lorry, the little lorries that we drive in park. And I rolled off the quad into the garden where all the students were like studying and stuff.

• 7:20Jay Shetty?

  Did anyone get hurt?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  No one got hurt, thank God. And then my boss, who's this guy named Greg, I'll never forget, he had this tongue like a snake and he drove like old vintage cars. He was the coolest guy I ever knew. He took the fall for me. It was really sweet.

• 7:32Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was the sweetest guy ever.

• 7:33Jay Shetty?

  Why did he do that?

• 7:34Speaker 01

  He's just a nice guy and he liked me.

• 7:36Jay Shetty?

  Are you still in touch with him?

• 7:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 7:38Jay Shetty?

  Okay, we have to get this to him.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. Greg.

• 7:40Jay Shetty?

  Greg, if you're watching this somehow, I want to get this video to you because this is special. You help canal not have like a criminal record or I don't know what would have come with that. But no, that's amazing. The reason why I want to go back to the beginning and everything for you is because obviously you grew up in Delhi, right? And what was life like growing up in Delhi for you personally? Like what were the experiences there that you feel formed who you are today? Or maybe parts of you that you wanted to progress and change as well?

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a great question. The beauty of growing up in India for me was the familial, the idea of family is beyond just four people or five people. You know, you don't grow up just with your parents, you grew up with your cousins, you grew up with your cousins' parents, aunts, uncles, friends, friends' parents, the community around you is so large. Every night someone is over at the house eating with you or at, you know, 8pm, someone will knock on the door, oh, there, come on, come on, what have you got in the fridge? You know, you eat. So it teaches you that it really, you feel so full.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  You feel so emotionally full, which is a lovely thing. And also not just socially, but also grief. When people die, everyone shows up, you know? So you get to experience death with people. We were never shielded away from death at a young age. Anyone passed away, you went to the home. The first thing, whatever you were doing, even if you're in school, you just leave school and you show up to people's homes. And there's a, you know, there's a dead body there. And you you experience that firsthand and how a community is built around that. And and I miss that. Even to this day, living in America for almost 20 years, I miss that, you know, sometimes if I want to have a meal with someone, it takes two weeks to schedule it. And I understand everyone's busy.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  But I miss that sort of everyone on top of each other all the time kind of love, because it's very familiar to me.

• 9:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. No, I I know you've I can relate to that in a smaller way, growing up in London, but in an Indian background as well. Families, family is definitely a bigger part of that. And since we moved to the US, which has only been three and a half years, but it's the same. But we're trying to build our our little family.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Yes, of course.

• 9:47Jay Shetty?

  With friends. And so I think we have to somehow bring it over here for sure. But tell me about that. That's really interesting what you said there, because I think it's such a powerful point that's often missed that in that eastern society, you're so used to seeing death, which is a really powerful point you made. What was it about that that you feel was powerful for you personally? Like, what about that has less left such a lasting impression? When I ask, what did you learn from India? That's one of the first things you remember.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I don't think that you you don't think about it at the time. You just do it, you know? It's not like, oh, this is something that I have to do. Or it just becomes part of your life. So you're not sitting there saying, this is so profound. There's a dead body in front of me, you know? No, it's not like that. It's just the simplicity of the way the culture works. You just show up in times of need. And it's.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  What I find sometimes in society right now, what's happening is we're really sterilizing all experiences in life. You shake someone's hand, you've got to use antibacterial soap. If someone coughs, you look at them like they're sick, you know? This kind of a thing is really taking away the humanity from us, as it is in the internet and social media and all these things are wonderful tools, but it also is sometimes taking away the humanity from us. And I think now when I look back, I think the profound impact it had on me, that it was messy. And it was full and it wasn't sterile and empty, you know? And I think that's maybe what, that's why now when I look back, it feels profound. But at the moment, you're just like, wow, that woman is wailing way too loud and, you

• 11:23Speaker 01

  know, I gotta get to the badminton court at 4:00 PM, I have to be here. Like you're just a child, you're not, you're not so self-aware at the time, you know? It just becomes part of your life.

• 11:37Speaker 02

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• 12:06Jay Shetty?

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• 12:49Jay Shetty?

  Already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees. So you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice. The ones that quietly shape the way we move through life. Giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features. That help keep you more aware, more connected and more engaged with your drive. So you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July twenty twenty six, Mazda has won more twenty twenty six IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus Awards than any other car brand.

• 13:35Jay Shetty?

  Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. Yeah, and I think that's a really good point. I think most of our lives are processed in hindsight.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Always.

• 13:57Jay Shetty?

  Like, most experiences are more powerful when we look back on them and we reflect. And that's why if we don't look back and reflect, we often miss out. Because it's quite hard, especially as a kid, to appreciate or introspect or reflect on any present moment that you're in. Like you're saying, you want to run to the badminton court or.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I think also when you're younger, the attachments or the identifications to the things around you aren't so attached yet. Those things, you predominantly get attached to those kinds of things later on in your life. When you become really, your idea of yourself is very strong. So that's when you become very self-aware. You know, but when you're young, you're just, that's the way you should be, actually. You should not be attached to anything and you should go with whatever the universe is giving you.

• 14:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And you always wanted to be an actor? That was always the plan?

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was always a ham. That's what it was. I mean, I was always just doing anything to be in front of the audience. No, I don't know. You know, I think when I was like, probably nineteen, I was in college, I really enjoyed acting. I really enjoyed, there was something about.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Being an actor is, you know, you're trying to find the truth in the moment. That's really what, that's why people get addicted to acting, in my opinion, is because it really forces you to dive within and find the truth in a moment. And once you experience truth, or you touch truth for the first time, it's an experience that, I don't know, it's very addicting. You want to find it all the time, and you can't find it all the time. There are takes when you are not present, and there are takes when you are present. But once you experience it, once you truly are saying these words that you know you've learnt, they're coming out of your mouth, but they're coming out of your mouth like the first time. And this person who's been rehearsing with you for like, you know, a few months is saying these words,

• 15:43Speaker 01

  and you know they're coming out of their mouth, you know what's gonna come, but it's like it's happening for the first time. That is probably how you would define a spiritual awakening, almost, you know? That's what happens, because you can recreate that on stage sometimes. And that's what happened to me on stage, and I was like, oh, this is it, this is, I have to have this in my life. And that was it for me.

• 16:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and so whenever you're acting, you're always trying to find that truth, find that moment where you can experience this again.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  You're always just trying to find the moment where you're absolutely present. You're speaking and you're listening, you know, like this.

• 16:15Jay Shetty?

  What a good skill. What an amazing skill for everything else in life.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Well, you know, that's the hard thing about being an actor though, too, is that you you have this incredible intense experience, and then you have to go back to your life. You finish acting on set, and then you show back up at work, I mean, show back at home, and how do you balance the two?

• 16:36Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about that first experience of having this incredible experience on set, and then actually having to walk back into your home.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  I was doing a thing that I didn't realise until later, where I wouldn't go home right after. I would always go out and have a drink. I would always go out and have a whiskey, or a martini, or hang out with someone. Sometimes if no one was even around, I would just go up to the bar myself, to wind down, or whatever it was. But I realize now in hindsight that there are much healthier ways to do that. And I think it's hard. I think it's hard to experience something so profound every evening or every moment and then come back and try to reinstall yourself into the reality of everyday existence. I think that's why so many artists take to drugs or alcohol or other forms of

• 17:29Speaker 01

  staying high, because you experience this incredible high and then you like have to come home and how was your day? I mean, how do I explain what my day was? It was an infinite experience into the cosmos of reality. I mean, how do I talk about that, you know? So at that time I was escaping. So I was not doing it in a very healthy way and I seem to have, I think, found.

• 17:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's so profound because we forget that and I think not everyone sees that. Like, not everyone knows someone who is that much in the public eye.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:03Jay Shetty?

  And when you think about certain stars who become famous at 12, 13 years old, 15 years old, and they're performing to audiences of like 80,000, 100,000 people at that age, like that's an incredible rush of adrenaline and, you know, the chemical imbalance of that is just insane. And then to go back to normality.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:26Jay Shetty?

  And it's the same for you, going from set to that. It sounds like one of the toughest things to do. And it's, sometimes it's hard to empathize with for people because they're like, oh, well, you have it all. Like, you know, it's amazing.

• 18:34Speaker 01

  You have money. That's the thing. The number one thing is if you, if you talk about something like this, someone says, oh, did your, you know, did your paycheck not cash this week?

• 18:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  That's the standard answer.

• 18:45Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Which is also understandable. Yeah. I mean, what am I complaining about when obviously all the comforts of my life have been taken care of? So.

• 18:55Jay Shetty?

  But let's, let's dive into that transition because I know we've spoken about that before and the Kunal that I know and have met, you know, whenever we've spoken, we have really evolved, deep, meaningful conversations where we're both exploring and I absolutely love them. But you also told me over time, and obviously what you're mentioning now, like alcohol, self-medicating and that. Tell me about that transformation because I think that that's really important to people because no matter what financial situation people are in, no matter what. Status people are in, everyone goes through getting addictions, bad habits, and getting lost. Like, there's always that option in life, and everyone's experienced that. Tell us about that transformation and how you were able to to look for that gap and free yourself from that jail that you talk about. You talk about finding keys.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:37Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about that experience of like, releasing yourself from that jail.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, I'm so grateful that it happened. Because I never would have come home to myself. Because ultimately, what I was doing was just running away from myself. I began to build a facade that I began to believe in, you know? I began to believe a personality into reality, that I have to be a certain way. I mean, I was young, I was at grad school, I was on this show, I was making money. And I thought I had to be a certain way, and I'm very lucky that I have a family that supports me and loves me and whom I can talk to. But it got out of hand before I knew it was out of hand. And I began to feel anxiety, which I had never experienced in my life as a child or as a youngster.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  And I didn't know what it was, but I was feeling slightly uncomfortable. And so when I did, I would drink. Oh, I'm kind of feeling weird, let me just have a drink, have a great time. And that went on and on and on. And it's not like I ever drank during the day or anything, but I couldn't wait for the evening to come so I could take the edge off. And that one drink turned into five or six, and that anxiety never went away. In fact, the further I tried to push it away, the more it rose. And then it was driving on the highway and I was having panic attacks. And I was being in an elevator in a tall building and I'd be having panic attacks, you know? And I was, it was bad.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  And I remember going home to India and talking to my parents and saying, I'm in, I'm, something's wrong with me. And yet, I was very functionable during the day. No one could tell. Obviously, I was working, and that was the most important thing to me, was working. But I was not in a good place, and I was doing things and putting myself in situations which I shouldn't have been doing.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  But all to run away from myself. And I didn't know that at the time. And I was given a pill to take in case I had another panic attack from someone. And I remember I was feeling panic on the 17th floor of a building. And I'm looking at this pill and I'm about to put it in my mouth. And a voice comes and says, before you run away from yourself, I want you to experience yourself. Something like this voice came and I threw it away. And I said, even if I experience my own death in this moment, I just want to experience it.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  And then that, from that day on, I said, no more running. If even if I'm feeling anxious, no more running from it. Even if I'm feeling panicked, no more running from it. You know, no more running.

• 22:13Jay Shetty?

  And that takes a lot of courage.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  It, I don't think it was courageous. I think my house was on fire and there was nowhere else to go. You know, it didn't, doesn't, I don't think of it as courage. I think of it as everything burnt down. I mean, there was nowhere, there was no other choice, you know? There was no, there was no more running. You see, there was no more running. I had to look within. What is this anxiety about? What is this panic about? What is it that I'm so afraid of? What is it? Why do I feel so separate from everything that is happening here? Why are there two or three or four or five or six inside? What is this?

• 22:56Speaker 01

  But it was so beautiful because it was the beginning of the end.

• 23:06Jay Shetty?

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• 23:52Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food,

• 24:37Jay Shetty?

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• 25:06Jay Shetty?

  And so often, that's what it is, is it takes that... I was describing to someone yesterday, it was like, you know, when two people are boxing, there's a lot of dancing, there's a lot of movement, but then when one boxer gets the other boxer in a corner, then that boxer really has to figure out their way. It's like when you're pushed into that corner, now you can't just dance and prance about and run away from it, like you're saying. You have to figure out what your strategy is and how you're gonna get close to that and figure out that person, because now you're pent up in that corner and you're stuck. And I feel like sometimes life has to... fortunately or unfortunately, some people say unfortunately, I say fortunately, sometimes life just has to put us in a corner where we stop running. And you can't run, like you're saying, you run out of options. Instead of running, you run out of options. And then you have to look within, but I think so many of us struggle to do that

• 25:49Jay Shetty?

  because we struggle to know what the first step is to look within.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 25:53Jay Shetty?

  And that's why we run. Sometimes we run not only to get away, but because we don't even know where to start.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 25:59Jay Shetty?

  How did you figure out where to start for you personally? Or what was it that really helped you in that moment? Because I love what you're saying, by the way, this is...

• 26:05Speaker 01

  No, but you're right, I think there is that...

• 26:10Speaker 01

  There's an overwhelming feeling within us that we need to figure it out right away. And because of that, we want three steps to give us awakening, or enlightenment, or whatever it is that people are searching for. But I've been thinking lately that it's... I don't think that awakening, or enlightenment, or spirituality

• 26:34Speaker 01

  is for everyone either.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  Because you have to give up your opinions about the world. You have to give up your ideas of the world. You have to give up your ideas of who you are and how you view the world to truly be free. To truly be free. People want to be more loving, and more confident, and more positive, and more peaceful. Yet they're not willing to exchange the one thing that is in the way, which is their idea of themselves. So how do you start, right? How do you start breaking down the idea of yourself? You don't. You just look and say, oh, am I doing this out of just a behavioral pattern that I've been doing

• 27:22Speaker 01

  for whatever amount of years? Or am I doing this from a place of truth or reality?

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Is this what is actually happening in this moment? Or is it only happening because of my perception of it? That's really where you start, is to become aware of yourself. And it's actually very simple. But because we then get indoctrined by 10 steps to do this, or 17 steps to do this, or 105 steps to do this, it's the same thing that people are doing. They're just using steps to, again, run away from what it is. Ultimately, if you want to be free, you have to come back and have the conversation with the one that is in the way. And that's here. I am in the way of my own freedom because I believe this one to be who I am.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  And to truly find that one who you are, you have to lift the veil of that and see what's underneath. And that's the hardest thing. It's not where do I start, it's are you willing to put your opinions about the world and about yourself aside? And that's the thing about awakening and enlightenment and all the things that people want. No one gets to be excluded from your love. Once you're enlightened, you can't be enlightened and kind of not enlightened, okay? You can't have faith and not kind of have faith. You either have faith or you don't have faith. You either are in this moment or you're not in this moment.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  And that's the rub. That's why it is hard for people. Because the reason say, I don't know where to start, I don't know where to look in. This eye that's talking is the one that doesn't want to look at itself because it's skirting its own death in a way, because once it's caught, it's over. That's the thing, once you actually catch the lie inside, it's over, you know?

• 29:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  But that's where you start, you just start becoming self-aware. Wait, oh, I've always thought it's like this, oh wait, it's not like that. Oh, okay, cool, now I'm free, I'm a little freer now, you know? You begin to wear your personality a little lighter.

• 29:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, dude, that is so well articulated, man, I love that. Literally, everything you just said right now is just so well explained because I think so often these topics get quite heady and we've talked about that before. But you've really grounded it and when I'm listening to you, it sounds like it sounds like when you figure out how a magician does a magic trick.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 29:50Jay Shetty?

  Right, like once you've figured it out, it's like, it's not, you're like, oh, oh, I get it now. It totally makes sense, but when they, when you don't know how it's done and you don't know how they picked that exact card that was yours, you're like, whoa. And it's the same with yourself, like, once you figure out the trick.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:07Jay Shetty?

  That the mind is playing, or like you said, the perception you've built up of who you are, is playing, all of these are just tricks. And when you start to look beneath the tricks.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:16Jay Shetty?

  You, you start seeing, actually, it's not.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  But that's. But that's why medit-, that's why meditation is very important. I, I don't think that meditation is the only thing that's the important thing in all of this.

• 30:27Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  But it is important because it stills your mind, it gives you quiet. When your mind is very noisy, it's very hard to look through the layers. It's very important to, even if you don't meditate, maybe it's just sitting in the car with no music, whatever it is, finding time to be still is very, very important. Because through the stillness, you can see. And in the storm, it's very difficult to see, you know? And you're right. You're already the peace that you're seeking. That's the truth about life. You are already that which you seek. Was Saint Francis of Assisi said, right? What you're searching for, what you're looking for is already where you're looking from. You're already home.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  You just keep running in circles trying to find the home. But the one trying to find the home is the one you have to give up.

• 31:17Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  This is the paradox of life. It's, and it's beautiful. And you're right, it is simple. But that's not the end either, because even after you've awakened, there's still a journey. And that's the point of all of this, is stop trying to find the secret elixir of life, because even when you do find it, you realize it's unknown. So just give up and just enjoy. Enjoy, I mean, enjoy the fruits of what it is that you have here.

• 31:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  You know, because even when you're enjoying, you're still like, I'm enjoying, but I shouldn't be enjoying because I should be working harder. And why work harder? I'm sorry, but like, just be peaceful.

• 31:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Why work harder? It's all self-made. Goals are lovely to have, but the more goals you have, when you achieve them, then you want more goals, then you want more goals, and then you want more goals. You're trying to fulfill an ego that'll never be filled. Live a simple life. Be peaceful, be happy. What more, I mean, what more? Because all the things you want to achieve are, you want to achieve because it's going to make you happy. Just be happy now. It's really simple.

• 32:20Jay Shetty?

  I love it. It's awesome. I want to dive into that now with you because I think simplicity is such an interesting concept. And when I lived as a monk, both our internal and external lives were simple and simplified, I would say, not even simple, simplified. You eat what you're given. You don't choose what you eat. You sleep in a different place every day on a mat, but you don't have one place that you sleep. So nothing is yours. You wear the same style of clothing every day. So there's no, you know, all that kind of stuff. But so that simplifies the outer layer. But one thing that I found, and this is what I found profound, and I want to ask you this as well, is as I came back into the real world, real world, we'll use that for now, the,

• 33:03Jay Shetty?

  what I found simplicity and the definition of simplicity that really brings me alive is simplicity of intention. Because what I found is that sometimes you can be externally simple, but you're complicated up here. And so some people live very externally simple lives, but really, it's all complicated up here. And then the opposite is true. Well, you're simple mentally, but then your externals are complicated. And so for me, I was really seeking this definition of simplicity that I could live by. And I was also trying to, and I want to talk to you about this, because I know you talk about this, this, this kind of never ending cycle of obsession with what's next, right? Like they're always chasing what's next. And then I was like, but how do

• 33:44Jay Shetty?

  you continue to live in this world, be in this world, keep being active? Because we can't all just sit down and do nothing. And you, and you are too. And that's what I want to figure out for me. That's my question, that how are you continuing to pursue any pursuit, whatever it may be, but continuing to connect with that simplicity and that happiness now? How are you monitoring that balance in your own life of being ambitious, being open to new opportunities, but still remaining simple, happy, grounded, present? How are you, how are you juggling that? Or how are you, how are you thinking through that?

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, that's a good question.

• 34:23Jay Shetty?

  I'm not saying not any of us have mastered it. I'm intrigued.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  No, I don't know. I don't know. I think that you said something interesting about the simplicity of intention. I think that's where it lies. I'm ambitious, because I enjoy acting.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  You know, someone may be ambitious because they enjoy cars and they want a certain kind of car. Nice, that's a beaut— who cares? That's a nice ambition, you know? It is— you're— the problem is in actually the words and the language. Ambition is imbued with an emotion. I'm an ambitious person. That person's not so ambitious, you know? My goals are like that. That person's goal is not like that. I want this kind of a life, so it means this kind of a thing for me. You know, just do what you wanna do. If you wanna be ambitious, be ambitious, but don't think I have to be ambitious for a certain way of life.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  Or I need to be a certain way— just be what it is and do what it is that in here feels right. If that means being ambitious, be ambitious. If I don't think of it, I have to balance my life. My life is just the way it is. It's just that I'm not looking at everything and attaching emotion to everything. There's no resistance anymore within me to my life.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  If I have to do something, I'll do it in whatever manner is necessary for the situation. You know, if I have— it doesn't mean I'm impervious to anger or anxiety or anything. I'm sometimes happy, sometimes I'm sad.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  I just have stopped thinking so much about— what happens is,

• 36:05Speaker 01

  because of a perception of the world, something bad happens and an old tape starts playing. I mean, an old tape starts playing, we get pissed off at that old tape, so we add another tape on top of that. I am pissed off because of the old tape is playing. So now you've got two tapes that are playing, right? Then you read 3,000 books about how to stop that tape to stop that tape, and that's a third tape. So now you have three programs running, when in the first place you could have been said, "Oh, you know what? Yeah, I'm just having a shitty day, and I'm pissed off." Cool, next.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  And right there, it's over.

• 36:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  It's the resistance to what is, is where it like, where all of the, that comes from.

• 36:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so, yeah, I, yeah, totally, I completely agree. This, it's the resistance to not accepting what is happening in that moment.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  But even in the acceptance, it can add another tape. I'm not accepting what's happening.

• 36:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so it's the resistance.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 37:01Jay Shetty?

  Every time you're resisting, avoiding, running away from not accepting.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you can just be fully here, someone passed away and I'm feeling horribly sad. What's wrong with that? You know, I just made a lot of money. I'm feeling incredibly happy. What's wrong with that? Sometimes you achieve what you want to achieve and there's still a but attached to it. Why? You know, that's the simplicity of intention that you're talking about. You don't have to go to a cave and sit for 10 years to meditate. You know, you probably, your bum will start hurting, sitting on the rocks. I mean, it's, it's okay. You don't, you can sleep in a comfortable bed and just be as peaceful.

• 37:44Jay Shetty?

  It's true.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  You can drive a really nice car and enjoy the fruits of your labor. And what's wrong with that? Do you have to say, well, there's a starving child in Sudan or India or, or even in America or anywhere? So I shouldn't enjoy the fruits of my life? Why not do it all? Why not give back and enjoy? That is, the simplicity is to accept the totality of what you are. You are all. You know, I am, um, I can have a cup of coffee and have a very profound moment. Or I can be dancing on a table till three in the morning and have a profound moment also.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Why can't I be anything that is, that I want to be? No resistance, no resistance. It's my life. It's my expression of this consciousness. It's my chance to experience this beautiful thing that is here.

• 38:43Jay Shetty?

  And every one of those choices that are made in alignment with that will only reveal more. That's the point.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's a very good point. Yes. If you're doing it to run away, it can be very messy. But the beautiful thing about living this life awake is you begin to enjoy those things so much more because they're coming from a place of freedom, not from a place of being trapped. You know, and that's that sticking thing that's in here. It's not like when I achieve this, then I'll be free. No, it'll just be another sticking point. That's not the answer. It's just this thing that's in here that's stuck. You just have to be like, oh, what is this? What is this? And you'll realize, I don't want to say it, I guess. You'll realize whatever it is that you realize for yourself, you know, when you look within. But it starts here. And it doesn't start with a...

• 39:31Speaker 01

  Reading really helped me. Books really helped me, really helped me. It really helped me think my way into here. But the final step you have to take yourself.

• 39:40Jay Shetty?

  Any books that you recommend or anything that really worked for you?

• 39:42Speaker 01

  There's one coming out in April that I'm dying to read.

• 39:46Jay Shetty?

  I'm excited to share it with you too. I'm excited to share. There's a lot of what we're talking about that's in there.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I started reading like The Secret, The Four Agreements. A lot of those books, I read a lot of Deepak Chopra's, Seven Laws of Spiritual Success, which I love.

• 40:05Jay Shetty?

  Wonderful book.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  And that started the sort of psychological journey within, right? And then I read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. That was the jumping off point for me because that helped me understand that there is a separation between who I am and my mind. My mind is recycling thoughts and I can sit back and look at them. Oh, my God, when I experienced that, I thought I have, this is it. I'm free. Yeah, boy, was I wrong.

• 40:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I remember the first time I read that in the Bhagavad Gita, like you're not your clothes. You know, like we just change our clothes every day and you can change your thoughts every day. And I was like, wow, like, that makes so much sense. I can look at my clothes and I can say, I don't like those clothes. And I can change them. And I can put on clothes and be like, I like those clothes. And you can do the same with your thoughts every day. I like those thoughts. I don't like those thoughts. Let me change those thoughts.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, or you can even sit and not listen to any of them.

• 40:57Jay Shetty?

  True.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  You only listen to the ones that you're attached to. Because your mind has a 3,000 thoughts that you probably don't even pay attention to. But you only pay attention to the ones, like for me, even to this day, because I've had a even in my family genetic fear of heights from generations ago. Even to this day, I remember growing up and my father wouldn't take an elevator. And that sort of probably came, now he's doesn't, now he's over that. But at that time, that's probably where it came from for me. But even now, when I, you know, I don't want to go on the 65th floor of a building because my body, the trauma in my body is still fresh and it's still there. I may not have resistance to it, but it's not a nice feeling. Okay. I don't sit here and say, I have to climb Mount Everest to be free.

• 41:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  I'm free. It may, it can all exist in here and I'm still free. It's okay, it's okay to have things. You don't have to scrub yourself clean of everything and then become free. You are free once you realize that it's all okay. You can continue to work on it. You can continue to work on it. It's fine.

• 42:06Speaker 01

  So even to this day, I'll still have like a moment of, now the anxiety is very rare, but anything that comes up, it comes up. I was telling you right before this, I was moving this weekend. And I said, if you ever think you're spiritually realized, you should move.

• 42:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, or help a friend move.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  Or have a friend move.

• 42:23Jay Shetty?

  You didn't ask me, I would have helped you move.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Exactly, no, no, no, no. I'll spend one week with family, that's right. Baba Ramdas, who on Ponchi just passed away, lovely spiritual teacher, just always said that he's like, every time you think you're enlightened, spend one week with your family. Which I think is so, it's so funny and so profound in a way, you know. Your, your, your biggest, there was a teacher, Muji, who I loved, who was very important for me to experience emptiness for the first time in a meditation. I experienced nothingness and it was very beautiful. But Muji said, when he experienced his awakening, it was most profoundly, you know, all these things happened to him and he sat down to eat. And the first thought that entered his mind is, why are you eating potatoes? You're gonna be diabetic. And he just said, I just freed you from my mind. Why is, how can that still exist? You know?

• 43:08Speaker 01

  And that's funny because that's just, that's the play, you know?

• 43:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely, yeah. I remember one of your monks, one of the reasons the path that I lived as worked so well is half the day was very much about your growth, self and, and going, trying to find, going beyond the self. And the other half was with people, with other monks, with villagers, with community. And because we're always told that if you're when if you're alone all the time, your ego will convince you that you're humble. It's only when you're around people.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  That's interesting, yeah.

• 43:37Jay Shetty?

  Like what you're saying about spending time with family, like you, if you're always alone, you'll think you've become really enlightened. But actually, when you then re-interact with people, then you realize where you're really at.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  Well, in the ancient yogic tradition, when you did experience realization, you would have to be very carefully taken away and and sort of molded and shielded. Because it's kind of like when the worm is sheds, when the when the caterpillar sheds the skin and becomes a butterfly, it's very vulnerable for that time. And if you experience awakening and you have no guide map or nothing to hold on to, it can be a very, very unnerving experience.

• 44:16Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  It can be. So you you should do it in a way that you have someone who you can talk to or someone who can help you through it, or a book, or a guru, or something. Because I never really had that, but I had people that I listened to and spoke to, you know, through this process. But I think it's very important, and I think that's where that comes from. That's why people go high away from people, because they want to fully understand what this is and mature into that awakening.

• 44:42Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Because if you get thrust back into this world full of ego, you shut back right up. You know, it's like you have this beautiful ocean and you have this drop and you drop in. But a big drop drops in and it comes back out a bit and it drops back and it drops back. You know, it goes like this, and then until you finally emerge. But in that dropping going away, it can just shut.

• 45:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  And it's very hard.

• 45:03Jay Shetty?

  That's so true.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  You know.

• 45:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's a really good point.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  But I know a lot of people listening to this probably just want to be like, yeah, I know you're talking about all this, but how do I just be happy? How do I just be peaceful? How do I just like, I just want to wake up and, you know, and shut my mind off? And I'm just here to tell you, you can't shut your mind off. It's a beautiful tool to use. You need your mind. It's created this incredible thing in this world, you know, this this microphone. I mean, this thing, it's all because of people's minds. Some guy and some girl saw the moon and put up a rocket ship and went to it. It's just incredible. Why would you not want to use that? It's just that it's using you.

• 45:36Jay Shetty?

  Correct.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  And you have to figure out how to use it. And that only comes with a little bit of looking at it and training and looking at it and training and and and takes time, you know, it's like learning the alphabet. You start with the ABCs by being aware, then you start using language and then you understand sarcasm and how to put sentences together and all that.

• 45:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we forget that. That's a beautiful example. We forget that as kids, how much patience we had, how much non judgment we had. Like, no one remembers, you know, messing up as a kid on something at home or like falling over and walking again. And you just don't remember it in a negative way. You never looked at yourself and said, I fell over ten times today. You know, right? Oh, no, like you don't, you don't, you never did that to yourself. You just allowed yourself to naturally engage with something and for it to naturally progress. At least I'm talking about like between zero to five.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  No, no, I understand. I mean, if I was to fall over ten times right now, it'd be weird. Yeah, I should probably go to the doctor.

• 46:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, probably, probably true, probably true. But with different challenges now, yeah.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  It is different challenges. It's also, it's, I will say that I think that we drive our own selves crazy about all of this, I think. Like I go back to my earlier point. Just stop the, stop the obsessive search so much. It might be in front of you. It might be right here and you're just looking everywhere else, you know?

• 46:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's the obsession with perfection, I find.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Well, that you'll never get.

• 47:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Now, unless, oh no, you can. I mean, I think, to be honest, you can get perfection. But to get that, you have to be willing to swap yourself out.

• 47:11Jay Shetty?

  And it's, and it's almost like to get obsession, you have to, to get perfection, you almost have to, you have to lose the obsession for perfection.

• 47:18Speaker 01

  Yes, or the idea of perfection.

• 47:20Jay Shetty?

  And what it looks like to you, because that's the attachment.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, the attachment. Also, it's because you kind of want to push away the ugly parts of you and you want to pull in the beautiful parts of you. But that's just ugly and beautiful is also just kind of a concept. Take those words away for a second.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  And just take away all concepts and see what's left. It's all of it.

• 47:44Jay Shetty?

  So if we take something, I like, let's pursue that. So if we take something like, say, envy.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  Envy.

• 47:50Jay Shetty?

  Let's take envy or anything you like. Let's take one of those things.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Envy is a good, envy is a good start.

• 47:56Jay Shetty?

  How do you process that then? How does, how do we look at that? How do we change our view of that? Or what do we do with that as a thought?

• 48:02Speaker 01

  If you look at someone else's life and you think, oh, that would be, you know, they live in a nice house and they look like they have a nice family. I want that. What's wrong with that? But if you look at someone else's life and you say, oh, I want that. Oh, why do I want that? Does that make me envious?

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Oh, I want that because I'm envious. Oh, no, wait, am I envious? I'm not envious. It's just like this entire tape starts playing. What's wrong? If you see something that you like and you want it, does that make you? What's wrong with wanting that? Now, the rub lies in if you don't have that, does that make you unhappy?

• 48:38Jay Shetty?

  And the other challenges which, which often comes up is, do you want that just because now every time you see someone with something you want more? Because then it's just, it's what you're exposed to, right? Or is it that you really want that? Like you really feel that's going to make a difference? Because I think so many people, and I agree with you. I love what you said about the non judgment of it because you're right that if you see something and you like it and you think it's important to you and with that intention you pursue it, there's nothing wrong with that. It's when you either want to take it away from that person where it becomes malicious.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:07Jay Shetty?

  Or whether it becomes a never ending pursuit just because you see shiny things all the time.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Going back to exactly what you just said about the, the malicious and you want to take it away. I was thinking about this the other day. I think that inherently it is in human nature to be good. It just is inherent in our nature because we come from nature. I mean, in nature, this is the way we are. We, we have communities and we build communities and we live together in harmony.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  And that's why I think it feels so bad when someone is mean to us. Or when we feel like we wanna be mean to someone. Because it feels very unnatural. When someone says something very mean to you, it feels very like, oh, that's, that's not. Something within you automatically is like, wait, that's not, this is not how it should be. And vice versa, if you're mean to someone.

• 50:01Jay Shetty?

  It never feels good.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  It never feels good, but why? Why? Because inherently, in our nature, it is to be good. You don't have to work to be good. That's what I keep saying, you don't have to work to be loving. You actually are that. You just have to get rid of the one that is trying to be loving, you know?

• 50:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  You stop, you are loving. It's very easy to be closed off and tough and mean and. It's very hard to be loving.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  It's very hard to be loving. Because it takes a lot of courage, because someone who doesn't agree with you, you still have to love them in a way. You know, that's why it's hard to be loving. Because like I said earlier, no one gets to be excluded. Everyone wants to be loving. Yeah, well, if you really wanna be loving, turn on the television and watch the news and pick out the one person or two or three people that you find are the most abhorrent people and see if you can love them.

• 51:07Jay Shetty?

  Oh, love there is a good challenge.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Then you'll know if you've actually become that which it is that you seek. You want to be loving, but. You want to be peaceful, but. You want to like everyone, but. Remove this but, and there it is your peace.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  That's actually how simple it is. You don't have to run away somewhere. Right now, in this moment, if you remove the but. There you are. You're right there. Everything you wanted.

• 51:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I love that, man. That's beautiful. This is great. This is awesome. See, now you can see what we do when we get together.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, we also go to basketball games.

• 51:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we do that too.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  We like the Lakers. We're also really fun in real life. We're fun and we hang out and we make jokes.

• 51:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well, Kunal, Kunal, let's talk a bit about that. Let's, we've had a really deep dive. Let's talk a bit about, I wanna go back because, you know, it's, it's easy for us and to look, I'm going back to some material conversation, but because it's linked to you.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  No, no, I love it.

• 52:07Jay Shetty?

  It's spiritual. You know, the, people can look at you and think that, you know, your career's been this huge success and everything worked out. Tell me about some of the key failures that happened before this big moment in your career where things took off. Because I think it's so easy for everyone to sit back and be like, oh, yeah, we found out about Kunal through Big Bang Theory. Like, life just went, like, tell us about some of the big moments that you remember now when you look back on, you know, like, God, that was a moment where I just, you know, that's the one I remember and that's what makes this now so much more meaningful.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, look, I, in, I, I got my bachelor's in theater and in business. I never got a degree in theater.

• 52:42Jay Shetty?

  Marketing specifically?

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Marketing was my degree and I told my parents I wanted to be an actor and their advice, which was very sound at the time, said, look, become an actor, but have something to fall back on because it's a very difficult industry and it is a very difficult industry to make it. And I did that and then I got my master's in acting. And all through grad school, all through undergrad, you know, this was a very different time in America. I had never got any of the roles I wanted, really. I was always the funny guy or the older guy or the, the sidekick, you know, and I would sit, we were doing the Seagull, a great play by Chekhov, and I wanted to play the lead role and I didn't get it. And I would sit in the wings every, in the side of the theater, every, every performance and mouth his words.

• 53:26Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  And I did it with, with a lot of plays and I kept dreaming that this is gonna be me one day, this is gonna be me one day. And, you know, I only had 10 months left on my visa. Otherwise, I'd have to go back to India and work or England and work, which is fine too. And I auditioned for a play in the basement of the Mac store on Fifth Avenue. Remember that glass box? Because I didn't have a computer, I didn't have the money. And this director was in L.A. and she said, you know, they were setting up, I don't even know what it was called at that time. AOL Video, AOL Video, maybe, I just something it was called. In the Mac store, they had that thing. And I auditioned. For this lady director in L A in the basement of the Mac store.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  And I got the part on the on the spot and I look over, I was like crying in this audition. It's so funny. Thirty Asian tourists are taking pictures of me. That was a joke.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  They don't have to be Asian, they could be Indian, they could be any.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  And then I moved to L A for seven dollars a play and I didn't have a car.

• 54:31Jay Shetty?

  Seven dollars a play.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  It was a non equity show. And then I and I was living on a friend's couch and I was taking the bus, which if you live in Los Angeles, it would take me an hour and a half from Santa Monica to Pico. And and I was working in a raw food restaurant. Can you believe I didn't even know what raw food was, no offence to anyone at that time.

• 54:51Jay Shetty?

  At that time, it wasn't as trendy then.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember because I got the job off Craigslist and she said, you know about raw food? I was like, yeah, you use less cooking oil, right? Or something like dumb like that. And she was like, no, we use no oil. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, less, no, I mean, same.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  And then I ended up working there and it was a whole comedy of errors, I remember. I rented for my final audition of Big Bang, I had to rent a car to drive to the studio. And I rented the cheapest car and they didn't have it. So they upgraded me to a Toyota Solaris, if you ever seen this car. And it was a convertible white. I mean, I drove onto that a lot. Like, I was like, yeah, I was like P Diddy or something, you know? And I was playing California and I was like driving, I was like, yeah. It was really fun. And then when I booked the pilot, I bought a car from the auction, a Nissan Altima with a broken light. And I drove up on the first day of Big Bang and I said, I gotta get a new car.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  You know, there's so many stories about, but it was, yeah, everyone comes from somewhere, everyone. I stopped ever looking at anyone who's successful and think they've been given it. Because even if they have been given it in some way, there's a lot of internal struggle even in that. The feeling that they don't deserve it is worse. Than struggling, to be honest. Because when you struggle, you have a real righteousness about it. I'm struggling. But when you're handed it, the feeling of inadequacy is horrible.

• 56:22Jay Shetty?

  Wow, man. Thank you for sharing those. I feel like, I feel like we're gonna need a part two and three, just to dive into each of those stories.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  In part two, we talk about the Lakers and how they need another piece two in the championship. They need a three and D guy. But that's my point is sometimes we get so inundated with this thing about spirituality. But it's just a word. To be truly spiritual means to actually live a very full life. That in here, it's very simple and peaceful. And here, in here, it can be very dynamic. You can drive a beautiful car and, and like to travel and like nice clothes and, and also help the poor and also do service and do it all. Why are we living in such a limited perception of the infinite beings that we are? Why? Why?

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Because the limited perception can never truly understand what it is to be infinite. So to become infinite, which you already are, you have to take the one that believes in the limited perception and put them aside and finally step into everything that you are.

• 57:31Jay Shetty?

  There you go, being spiritual again. Went back to it. Yeah, no, no.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  I was so close.

• 57:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I, and I experienced that too. I think, you know, when I, when I came back and hence my book's called Think Like A Monk. Because the whole point is that you can think this way. And this is how to change your thinking and everything. But I'm not telling you to live like a monk. I'm not, I'm not telling anyone to.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  Or if you want to, you could.

• 57:53Jay Shetty?

  Of course.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  I mean, that's another thing. Why not?

• 57:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, why not? Yeah, it's open.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  I think that people think, oh, you're spiritual. Why do you live it? You know, why, why aren't you in a, in a cave, wearing, you know, only cotton made from a worm? I'm like, because that would be very unspiritual of me if I was doing it for a reason to prove a point. If I wanted to do that, I would.

• 58:12Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  That is the point. Being spiritual is being who you are.

• 58:17Jay Shetty?

  Yes, following the intuition.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Yes, from here.

• 58:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, from here.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Once you're free.

• 58:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Be who you are.

• 58:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I've always said that. I felt that when I became a monk, I felt that when I left. I felt that when I started making videos. I felt that when I'm sitting with you today. Like, I'm constantly following that. Even when I get the smallest inkling to message someone. And we've done that.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:37Jay Shetty?

  After meditation, I message you and there'll be like an interesting point where like, oh, I was just thinking about you. Or I was just talking about you, whatever it is. And I just follow it at all times. And I've seen it never let you down. It's so fascinating.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:49Jay Shetty?

  When you, when you actually get that inkling, not impulse. I'm not talking about impulse at all.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Everyone has it.

• 58:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, everyone has it. Yeah, I'm not special. Yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Everyone has intuition. Everyone has instinct. Everyone has, just stop trying, stop trying to have it.

• 59:04Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  You already have it.

• 59:06Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  You already have it.

• 59:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Believe. I mean, you can't kind of believe. I hope if anything after this video is that one thing. You can't kind of believe and kind of not believe. Today, do one thing, just believe. Believe you are incredible, actually. Believe it. Why waste one second in a small, narrow perception anymore? You are universally infinite. Believe it. It's right in front of you. You are running everywhere trying to find. You are that. You are already that. You are perfect and loving and peaceful. And you're also crazy and loud and angry. It's okay.

• 59:48Speaker 01

  It's okay. I was just like, you know, I went nuts this weekend while I was moving on something and I was like, and then it felt so good too. I was like, oh, there's a tiger in me too, you know, if I need to like if there's, there's, there's a tiger in me too.

• 1:00:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, when you can laugh.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  There's a Buddha in me too, and there's a tiger in me.

• 1:00:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. I love it, man. So we're gonna end today's interview. I know you've got to rush off as well. With the final five, which is our final five rapid fire round. You have to answer in one word to one sentence maximum.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Okay, one, say that again?

• 1:00:18Jay Shetty?

  One word, ideally, but I let people go to one sentence if it's expansive and it's, you know.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  And if I get them right, do I get a gift basket?

• 1:00:25Jay Shetty?

  No, no, there's not. This is not a coffee with Karen. There is no, uh, there's no. That's what I thought when you said gift basket. There's no gift basket, but we will send you your gift afterwards.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Okay, thank you.

• 1:00:35Jay Shetty?

  Either way, either way.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Some chapstick would be nice. It's oddly dry in Los Angeles.

• 1:00:39Jay Shetty?

  Either way. Okay, cool. So the first question is, the last kind thing you've done for a stranger?

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  I gave a home, oh no, I can't.

• 1:00:51Jay Shetty?

  No, you can, yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Oh, I, we went and bought some food for a homeless person who was outside Rite Aid the other day.

• 1:00:58Jay Shetty?

  Great, okay. Second question, what's something you once took for granted that you value now?

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Time.

• 1:01:05Jay Shetty?

  Nice, good answer. Question number three, what's the one question you ask yourself the most?

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Is this for real?

• 1:01:15Jay Shetty?

  Nice. And that can work in so many ways. I love that question. That works in so many ways. Awesome. Okay, question number four, what's something about you that most people don't know that would surprise them?

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  I love dancing. I'm a, I love being on the dance floor.

• 1:01:31Jay Shetty?

  And you're a great dancer.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  I don't know if I'm a great dancer, but I just, I love it. So if you see me out in a nightclub somewhere, don't judge me. I just love dancing.

• 1:01:39Jay Shetty?

  I love that. All right. And question number five, the final five question is, if you could create a law that the whole world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  If I could create a, actual, a law.

• 1:01:48Jay Shetty?

  A law, yeah, an actual law that everyone had to follow, like a law, yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Jay Shetty?

  I can't actually make any of this happen. I'm just.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  I don't know, man. The way you're going, anything is possible. I mean, Oprah and Jay Shetty for president and vice president, that's what I'm thinking. Like, that's gonna be great.

• 1:02:04Jay Shetty?

  I don't think they'll ever allow a Brit to run for president.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  But there was one law, seriously, that if we could.

• 1:02:10Jay Shetty?

  That you couldn't state, that everyone would have to follow, yeah.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  You have to love yourself first.

• 1:02:17Jay Shetty?

  Beautiful. I love it. Kunal, thank you, man. We have to do part two.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 1:02:21Jay Shetty?

  There is so much we can dive into.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  Ah, well, the universe will.

• 1:02:24Jay Shetty?

  They're discussing, but thank you, man. Thank you so much for coming. I know you've had a busy weekend. I know you're traveling today and it's a lot of fun. I think we, we covered a lot of ground.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  We should do a podcast of the Lakers game.

• 1:02:33Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I'd love that. That would be.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:02:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  I don't know how it'd work for sound.

• 1:02:36Jay Shetty?

  You, you'll be able to hook it up.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, let me just text LeBron James.

• 1:02:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, courtside. Courtside, it has to be courtside. We have to have the, the full view.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:44Jay Shetty?

  And we have to have LeBron on the podcast at the same time.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, okay, great.

• 1:02:47Jay Shetty?

  So it has to be three-way, while he's playing.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Great, great.

• 1:02:50Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Kunal, thank you so much. You've been an amazing guest on Home Purpose and just really grateful for your friendship, man, honestly. Thank you for, thank you for allowing me into your life. Thank you for helping us build a great friendship and I'm excited for many more good times together.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  I can't wait for April.

• 1:03:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you, man.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  That's the book. I can't wait. It's gonna be great.

• 1:03:06Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, bro. Appreciate it.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

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