Dominic Fike

Dominic Fike (Euphoria, Rocket, What Could Possibly Go Wrong) is a singer, musician, and actor. Dominic joins the Armchair Expert to discuss growing up around high-functioning relationships in Florida, how being raised by addicts factors into having a big heart, and wanting to cry when he thinks about the points of departure he’s found with his family. Dominic and Dax talk about having that friend in his head that never lets him be different, how somatic therapy has helped him give form and a voice to his shadow, and starting to make his own music under house arrest. Dominic explains signing a multi-million dollar record deal while incarcerated, what it was like recording with Justin Bieber, and why when you go to treatment everyone gives you the grace to change at the same time. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Modest Mouse.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Modest Mouse, ding ding ding.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  You went with Rob.

• 0:08Dax Shepard?

  Rob and I went and saw him. Today, we have just one of the most adorable boys out there.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Out there.

• 0:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Dominic Fike. We both fell in love with him on Euphoria.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 0:20Dax Shepard?

  He's a musician, a producer, and an actor. He was just impossibly good on Euphoria for having never done it.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  And we get into it, you know, there was some stuff going on.

• 0:30Dax Shepard?

  Sure, he was juggling some things.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:33Dax Shepard?

  And he has a couple of different albums out. What Could Possibly Go Wrong, Sunburn, and a new mixtape out now called Rocket.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  I love his music.

• 0:43Dax Shepard?

  Wild childhood story, as you are about to hear.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Oh, man. Buckle up.

• 0:48Dax Shepard?

  Buckle up. Please enjoy Dominic Fike. We get support from Quince.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts and Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:13Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater, starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories, you and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 1:40Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this. It just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited. And I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel-quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here, and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:14Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is supported by Helix.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about how November is basically survival mode? Between the holidays, the travel, the hosting, the cooking, the everything. Sleep is the one thing keeping me from completely unraveling.

• 2:50Dax Shepard?

  It really is the foundation, and I think people underestimate how much a bad mattress is quietly ruining their day. You wake up stiff, your back's angry, you're already behind before your feet hit the floor.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  That was me before Helix. I took their sleep quiz, which is so fast. It's taking like two minutes. And they matched me to a mattress that actually fits how I sleep. Not a guess, not a firm or soft coin flip. It's a real match. I have a midnight mattress and I really like it. I was noticing it because I actually had to sleep in it. One of my other beds recently that doesn't have a Helix mattress on it. And I really could tell a big difference in my sleep.

• 3:24Dax Shepard?

  Temperature was all over the map.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  It was a mess. I need a new one.

• 3:27Dax Shepard?

  Look, they've got over 20 mattress models. So whether you sleep hot, need extra back support, or you've got a partner who moves around all night, there's one built for you. Plus free shipping and a 365 night happy with Helix guarantee. That's a full year to decide.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Helix has been named the most awarded mattress by Forbes, Wired and more. So it's not just us being enthusiastic. The experts agree.

• 3:48Dax Shepard?

  Right now, Helix is running their Black Friday sale with up to 30% off. Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. Helixsleep.com/armchair.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  How you doing?

• 4:30Dax Shepard?

  How are you, brother? Welcome.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Nice to meet you.

• 4:32Dax Shepard?

  Nice to meet you.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Pleasure.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, no problem. Mind if I sit here?

• 4:39Speaker 01

  That's your spot.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  I've seen you sit here.

• 4:41Dax Shepard?

  We're gonna insist you sit there.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  I have seen you sit here.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Yes, if we're checking facts, I sit there. In an interview, I sit here. So we move around.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Oh, facts. Yeah, I did see. Okay.

• 4:50Dax Shepard?

  You're as cute in person as you are on television. You don't always know what you're gonna get.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 4:57Dax Shepard?

  You see people on television, they're super cute. You meet them in person, you're like, they're not as cute.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Personality wise?

• 5:02Dax Shepard?

  You know, I don't know. There's some magic with a lens. I'll meet other people and be like, wow, in real life, that person's unbelievably attractive.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  It can go, yes, it often to me goes the other way. People are more attractive in person, I think.

• 5:13Dax Shepard?

  We love to think we're more attractive in person because we don't like how we look on camera.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:19Dax Shepard?

  You and I. Yeah.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:21Dax Shepard?

  When people meet you, do they say one way or another? Because that's a common thing for people to say. Oh, you're so much cuter in real life, or you're taller.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  I see Instagram comments about people thinking like I don't shower. Apparently I look like I smell bad.

• 5:32Dax Shepard?

  You read dirty.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I read dirty, yeah. That's what people say.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Okay, well, we can confirm you don't smell.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  We can tell the world you don't smell.

• 5:41Dax Shepard?

  That'll be the first myth we dispel today.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 5:44Dax Shepard?

  What do you chalk that up to? Do you think it's your wardrobe?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  I take a long time to shower. I spend time showering. I'm a single man.

• 5:51Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Then, yeah, you really gotta get in there.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  There's no one waiting for the shower or waiting for me.

• 5:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's your point about being single. I was thinking more like you're on the market. You gotta put your best foot forward.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't think that women like it when I try to get all primped out, you know? I think they prefer me more dirty.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 6:11Dax Shepard?

  I'm not shocked by that.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  You have a mysterious vibe and so hyper clean doesn't...

• 6:15Speaker 02

  I got a mysterious vibe?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 6:17Dax Shepard?

  Well, let's put it this way. I'm a child of divorce. All of my friends, their parents were divorced. Like, are all your friends' parents are divorced for the most part?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  No, man.

• 6:26Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  No, I grew up with a lot of people who had healthy, admirable parents who were all in high functioning relationships. Because a lot of rich people where I grew up, Naples, Florida.

• 6:35Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  So they were like model families. I feel like the model family... Has kind of changed, but for that point in time, when everybody was really trying to fit into that box and that middle class thing was like dying out. That is what I experienced from my friend's parents.

• 6:47Dax Shepard?

  I think maybe that's a testament to your self esteem or not, or your own security, because I felt judged by other people. I needed to know everyone else was dealing with some shit, or I got insecure in those situations, like, oh, this family thinks I'm trash. You didn't have any of that?

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had that, but I was also trash. I was like, yeah. Family's got a good read on me. It was cool though, because the division between middle class and rich people and poor people. It wasn't so thick and palpable. It felt like you could slip into any one of those sections. Because I would hang out with a lot of people from, in my city, they call it in town. A lot of people would call it brown town. Because minorities lived here. So I grew up there and I had a lot of rich, white friends. Because I like to skateboard and I like Blink 182 and Sergeant Peppers and shit. But also like whatever.

• 7:36Dax Shepard?

  And they had swimming pools and it's hot out. You need some friends.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Exactly. And a lot of snacks.

• 7:41Dax Shepard?

  I know this game. You gotta go somewhere after school to eat.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 7:43Dax Shepard?

  Who's got the microwave pizza?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, we all hung out, you know?

• 7:46Dax Shepard?

  There wasn't like a hard demarcation.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 7:50Dax Shepard?

  There wasn't like socia's and.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Socia's like from the outsiders.

• 7:53Dax Shepard?

  That's right. Socia's and gracers. Because I feel like my school is pretty.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Hierarchical.

• 7:59Dax Shepard?

  It was in socioeconomically, especially in junior high.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Where'd you grow up?

• 8:02Dax Shepard?

  Detroit area.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Okay, Motor City.

• 8:05Dax Shepard?

  That's right, sir.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  When'd you leave there?

• 8:07Dax Shepard?

  Ninety five.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  That's when I was born.

• 8:09Dax Shepard?

  I know that. We have a lot of weird things. So you're about to turn thirty.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Gross.

• 8:15Dax Shepard?

  December thirtieth, right?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Can't say that here. We're both much older than you, so you don't get to say that here.

• 8:21Dax Shepard?

  But I was doing all this math. I was like, oh, I basically got sober. Exactly right now for your lifespan, because I got sober in September and I turned thirty three days after you. January second.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  So I've been messing with, it's like a team of people called the Malone Collective.

• 8:37Dax Shepard?

  Is it a cult?

• 8:38Speaker 02

  It's kind of a cult.

• 8:39Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  And the way that they.

• 8:40Dax Shepard?

  I'm in a cult.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're in a cult too. I already know, I already know. They help you with sobriety in whatever way you see fit for yourself. So you can go there, do acupuncture, cranial. You can do somatic therapy.

• 8:51Dax Shepard?

  What's somatic?

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Somatic therapy deals with your nervous system. So it's the language of your nervous system. So whatever you can do to quell those waves that reach your window of capacity, you can like quell that signal that like.

• 9:01Dax Shepard?

  Disregulates you.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. So it's super helpful.

• 9:04Dax Shepard?

  And are you allowed in that program? What I think is cool about S L A, Sex and Love Addiction, if I understand it correctly, because I'm not a member, but my understanding of it is you create your own definition of sobriety. So you have, I think it's called a ring. And it's like, I cannot go to sex workers. I can jack off as much as I want, you know, whatever your thing is.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Say your own rules. That's a dangerous game, saying your own rules.

• 9:26Dax Shepard?

  Well, yeah, but I think it makes sense because for some people, it's not an issue for, they're not addicted to pornography. They're not this, but they are that.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, sex is so ambiguous.

• 9:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  That you kind of have to create rules, like an eating disorder situation.

• 9:39Dax Shepard?

  Some people are like sober, they can't masturbate, but that's not for everyone.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 9:44Dax Shepard?

  So does this call, and I'm one myself, I say it with a lot of respect, do you get to define your own definition of sobriety?

• 9:50Speaker 02

  You get to define your schedule. I think that we all have a mutual understanding of what sobriety kind of looks like.

• 9:56Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's getting different, I'd say. We're in a different era than we were in the nineties for sobriety. Where there are tons of people that are now sober that smoke weed, or they would say they're sober.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  It's Cali sober.

• 10:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Cali sober. Some people do ayahuasca, but they're dead sober. I think it's gotten more.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Ayahuasca's intense, dude.

• 10:15Dax Shepard?

  Nuance, right? Yes, I've not done it. Have you done it? You have. And did you glean anything from it? Was it a breakthrough at all in any way?

• 10:23Speaker 02

  It's like all psychedelics. For me, it's like opening a map. You kind of check where you're at. You have this big scope. It's like zooming out. You take that like 30,000 foot perspective. On acid, it's funny because you're like, okay, I got it. And then you're like, we're good, right? And the dude's like, no, there's six hours.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  But I got it though, right now. And then you get tired of it. And then by the end of that six hours, you don't even care about the message. You're like, I just want to get back to the PlayStation and cigarettes.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Maybe that's the message.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  That is, I decided recently, it's all great. Cocaine's awesome. Sobriety's awesome. I don't want to go on this like Kanye thing where he's like, I fucking love everything. But like, I do, like, I do. Like, it's fine, as long as you can handle it. My brother, I just put him in this place called Cirque Lodge.

• 11:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, I've sent people there.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  I've been there too. It's great. I love them there. But I sent him there. And he's back now and he's looking at me because for a while I was just very loose with my definition of it. And I'm still kind of this day like figuring it out.

• 11:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  I've got no idea.

• 11:17Dax Shepard?

  I think it can evolve.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Sometimes you evolve past where you're supposed to go and it knocks you back. And I think I'm finally at the point where like, you know, when you fucking stretch out a rubber band, it's like.

• 11:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  I'm like right here.

• 11:29Dax Shepard?

  Right, vibrating but not.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, but not.

• 11:32Dax Shepard?

  Sketty Wampus.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, yeah. So Alex, my brother, I just put him in there and he's back because he keeps looking to me like, how do I do this? What do I do? So this was my thing where I'm glad I didn't grow up with a dad because I didn't have that dude to be like, what the fuck's going on? I've been that to him and recently I kind of shut the phone on him. Let me just see if he figures it out because he'll text me in the middle of the night like, yo, I need to buy a crib right now.

• 11:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  And I'm like, actually, shut the fuck up and like, listen to your body and then we'll see where you're at. And he hit me, he's like, I kind of want a beer today. I'm like, okay, cool. Thank you for calling me.

• 12:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Why you want a beer? He's like, you know, just go out to dinner like a gentleman. So you want to be a gentleman.

• 12:07Dax Shepard?

  The great illusion.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Being like a sexy drinking gentleman is so whack.

• 12:12Dax Shepard?

  Sipping wine.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, but some people just can't do it.

• 12:16Dax Shepard?

  I know, but it's this great illusion in the program, which is like, almost everyone has the same fantasy. Like, why can't I have a glass of wine and read a book? And it's like, hey, I never wanted to be the dude drinking a fucking glass of wine reading a book. I want to be jumping off the second floor into the pool.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Facts.

• 12:30Dax Shepard?

  So it's like, you're already pretending you have this fantasy that you don't even have just because it's a version that you think you can do.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  For sure. And you see people do it and I guess it looks fun, but it doesn't really.

• 12:40Dax Shepard?

  I'm all for what anybody wants to do. If they're suffering, I hope they'll figure out a way to not be suffering.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Do you feel responsible for him now that he's out in the world and he is calling you?

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  That's intense.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  So I got a crazy situation with my family. When I got out of jail, I went into jail pretty homeless. I got a record deal while I was in jail.

• 12:58Dax Shepard?

  We're fast forwarding way too far.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  I know, well, we'll hit it all.

• 13:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  No, my bad here.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  No, you're good. You're good. I'm just thinking about the responsibility of a brother that just came out of.

• 13:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's start at the beginning. How old are mom and dad when they get divorced?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  I don't know that they were ever married.

• 13:12Dax Shepard?

  I didn't mean them. How old were you when they separated?

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Oh, for as long as I can remember, like maybe two.

• 13:17Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I was three. We're on a very similar page.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  We are on a similar path.

• 13:20Dax Shepard?

  We both hit the stepdad lottery, it sounds like.

• 13:25Dax Shepard?

  When I interview someone and they're like, I love my stepdad, I'm like, congratulations, man. It's kind of hard to get a great.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Super hard, yeah.

• 13:31Dax Shepard?

  In my experience.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  It's crazy. I've had so many.

• 13:34Dax Shepard?

  How many?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Too many. Just called my mom out.

• 13:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, your mom's rando. I can tell she can take it.

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:41Dax Shepard?

  From your earliest memory, they're not together?

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:44Dax Shepard?

  Did he have children before he met your mom?

• 13:46Speaker 02

  He told me that he did.

• 13:47Dax Shepard?

  Cause you came into the world with two step siblings, no?

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Yes, I did.

• 13:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I was like, if I've got that one wrong.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  So they weren't really in your life, though?

• 13:57Speaker 02

  No, they weren't in my life, my step siblings. Yeah, it's just lives ago, it feels like. But yeah, Janelle, my older sister, and Alex, my older brother.

• 14:04Dax Shepard?

  So they were dads?

• 14:06Speaker 02

  They were the stepdads.

• 14:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, oh, they were your mom's?

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Boyfriend's kid.

• 14:11Dax Shepard?

  After dad?

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:12Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Roger.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  I didn't really know my dad. My earliest memory of my dad is like him catching me masturbating. Way too young, by the way.

• 14:19Dax Shepard?

  What was his reaction?

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Way too cool about it. He was like, what you doing, bud? And when I think back on it, I'm like, damn, that's so weird that he took that approach with me.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Well, maybe he didn't want to shame you.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  He didn't, but I'd rather he did. Now that I think back on it, I'm like, we weren't this like hippie, comfortable family where like, you know, everyone's jerking off in the living room.

• 14:35Dax Shepard?

  Here we go, young man, you're doing the Lord's work.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Dude, that wasn't it. So that bothers me. But I don't remember a lot of him. That was one of the only memories I have of him in me as a kid.

• 14:45Dax Shepard?

  And I say this with love. He was a junkie?

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:47Dax Shepard?

  And mom too?

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so they both liked opiates. And had they met already liking opiates? Or did they develop that together?

• 14:55Speaker 02

  My mom doesn't really tell me much about them meeting. The only thing my mom has to say about my dad is that he's a piece of shit.

• 15:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  And she changed my name from Dominic Mills to Dominic Fike. That's how much she didn't like him. Even my name pissed her off. To this day, like I can tell when she sees something in me that reminds her of my dad and has to shove it down.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  And that sucks.

• 15:14Dax Shepard?

  That's a bummer. Because I will say, my mom and dad, they got divorced, but my mom always loved my dad. And I think when she sees him and me, she likes it. She's like, oh, that's the guy I married.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  That's cool. That's a great experience.

• 15:25Dax Shepard?

  I like that.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  That's rare, I think.

• 15:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, probably.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  It's pretty rare.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it'd be so interesting if you did hate your ex, which is so common, because your kids look so much like both of you.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Constant reminder.

• 15:36Dax Shepard?

  The same way. So dad was gone. Dad resurfaced at like 10. There at some point we'll get to, but how functional was mom as an addict?

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Pretty functional. She raised me and my brother alone. Now that I have a kid, I'm like, how did you do that?

• 15:48Dax Shepard?

  I think that all the time.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  And resources. I'm not on heroin. So I'm like, how did you do that?

• 15:53Dax Shepard?

  How did she do it?

• 15:54Speaker 02

  And I'm here because of her.

• 15:55Dax Shepard?

  That's a really nice and positive takeaway.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  It is.

• 15:58Dax Shepard?

  Cause you could feel differently.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 16:00Dax Shepard?

  But she was incarcerated sometimes?

• 16:01Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 16:02Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Like how frequently?

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Once every year, couple of years, she'd go away for a while.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  For drugs?

• 16:08Speaker 02

  For all types of stuff, driving drunk or drugs.

• 16:11Dax Shepard?

  Doing addicty shit, right?

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Addicty shit, domestic shit, violent shit. My stepdad would beat the shit out of my mom all the time and we would have to watch it. And then the cops would come and arrest my mom every time. I didn't even know what cops were or what the problem was.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  It was tough. I could have been like, I saw what happened. I could have been a good eyewitness account. I could have saved my mom, maybe like six months in jail.

• 16:33Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm sure the stepdad was probably terrifying.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was a big dude.

• 16:38Dax Shepard?

  And he had his own problems, I'm sure.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  You know what? He was like an alcoholic.

• 16:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  And I never. Old fashioned. Old classic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Real stand up alcoholic, yeah.

• 16:50Dax Shepard?

  You knew what you were getting, you know, come in the door and he was angry. That's how it went. Something always seemed to happen to him on the way home from the bar.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  At least he was consistent.

• 17:00Dax Shepard?

  Disappointed when he got into the house.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 17:02Dax Shepard?

  So I too watched my mom get beat and that created, that thing, it fucking killed me to not be big enough to protect her. It then made me feel like a coward. Okay. I had all this shame about it. You should grab a knife. And then this oversized trigger for any bullying. And I want to get in the mix way too much if anyone's getting kind of victimized. Did you pick up any of these issues?

• 17:26Speaker 02

  And people will take that as like, dude, this guy's got a big heart.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  And then you go around thinking like, yeah, that must be it. I got a big fucking heart.

• 17:36Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Well, it's in the mix.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's one of the things that makes a big heart for sure.

• 17:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. The events were one thing, but the abuse I put myself through after those.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 17:46Dax Shepard?

  That's rough. And I don't like dudes as a result. I just in general, I don't need to meet any dudes.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  I feel you. Yo, you know what's crazy? I say this all the time to my manager. No shit.

• 17:57Dax Shepard?

  Now we're getting somewhere.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  It's usually about work and it'll be like a meeting with my agent and I'll be like, you gotta go do this. I'm like, who is it? And they're like, Dan or something. I just don't know my agent's name.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  I'm like, I don't really want to hang out with a dude today. Dom, it's not about gender. You have to talk to this dude. Like, I don't text guys ever.

• 18:17Dax Shepard?

  If they're in my house, that's when it's really, like, Christian can invite over infinite females. There's too many people, it's too noisy, but I'm not unsettled. The second there's a dad of a kid that's getting picked up, I'm like, all right, who the fuck is this guy? What's he planning to do?

• 18:30Speaker 02

  I think that's pretty primal, that sort of response.

• 18:32Dax Shepard?

  That's what I wonder, because you can't really have a different childhood to know, like, yeah, am I just genetically wired this way? Totally possible. Or is it, no, random dude showed up and then the outcome wasn't great. So guess what? I don't look forward to random dudes.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  Totally. I don't think anyone does. We had a joke going for a while. It was an ongoing bit that was like, should we get some more guys here?

• 18:53Dax Shepard?

  Almost play football. Should we get a couple more? So Z is just in the mix?

• 18:57Speaker 02

  I love it here, but we should get a couple more fucking guys in here.

• 19:00Dax Shepard?

  That'd make this thing really pop off.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  I do think, because Dax is an AA, he's accumulated a bunch of AA friends. Guys, yeah.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Mostly guys.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  But they all prefer to be around women. I think there's like a calmness, maybe, or a grounding that the men don't provide, that the women do.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  I lost that for a minute, my feeling grounded with women. For the past like six months, I think I retreated to work. And you know when you're in and out of relationships for a stretch of years and people are like, this is a relationship guy? And then you take that second and you're like, okay, I need to be single. And then you have to talk with your friend. You're like, I've been single for a minute and you know what? I'm really enjoying my time as being me. I'm single now. You do that for a while. I lost my feeling comfortable and connected around them because of that phase. I went into this phase of not dating and scarcely being around them.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  You've lost yourself.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  But in a cool way, it wasn't in a negative way. Now I'm just so nervous and I admire the shit out of them. My mom used to have this friend named Candy. She was like the first other woman. You know how your mom's your first girlfriend? So this was the first other girlfriend. I was just in a harem. It was me as a kid, like, fucking, Q heffing it. But this woman was that to me, like this tall, nurturing mom girlfriend type of thing. And that's how women have become to me. Now they all remind me of Candy.

• 20:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Now women to me are like aliens and I'm walking around and shaking hands with them is crazy.

• 20:25Dax Shepard?

  Have you heard the song Candy by, um?

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Mandy Moore.

• 20:29Dax Shepard?

  Kristen's favorite. He's like a singer songwriter dude.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Oh, I remember.

• 20:34Dax Shepard?

  Cameo? No, it's a man's name. I like sex in candy. Is that how it goes?

• 20:46Dax Shepard?

  Here we go. Marcy Playground? This is incredible.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  None of us can find it?

• 20:52Dax Shepard?

  It's called The Boss. Who sings Candy? Your favorite. Martin Sexton. Martin Sexton. Do you know that? Is this Sarah Marshall? Thank you. Yeah, just got Sarah on the phone. All right, thank you.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Have you seen this ChatGPT shit with South Park? Have you been watching the new South Park?

• 21:10Dax Shepard?

  I watched the first of the two Trump episodes and what a mind blowing experience.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  This ChatGPT thing that they're talking about. Do you guys use AI at all?

• 21:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yes. Yeah, what are they exposing? I want to know.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  It's just like how fucking lame that is for when people use them for everyday life. That's what it's useful for.

• 21:28Dax Shepard?

  Like how many ounces are in this?

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Or just anything.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you could have asked Chad about this. Potentially it would have known.

• 21:36Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I use it as Google. I'm very much an old person in that.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  And I get it talking to it's easier.

• 21:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Have you heard the guy try to make it count to a million?

• 21:44Speaker 02

  No, that's hilarious.

• 21:45Dax Shepard?

  It will not.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Why?

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Exactly. It's kind of scary.

• 21:49Dax Shepard?

  Sorry, she was Australian.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I was, I was ribbing you.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  AI was Australian.

• 21:56Dax Shepard?

  AI was.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Oh, that was where my story was gonna end about the women, damn. Anyway, it was a fucking map. We just went and ate at this place near here called All Time.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Oh, we love All Time.

• 22:04Dax Shepard?

  You know the spots. Look at this.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Siren City over there.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:08Dax Shepard?

  Man, he's always over there.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  Beautiful women over that place. There's a blonde girl that works there. We made eye contact multiple times.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Does she have blue eyes?

• 22:16Speaker 02

  She does have blue eyes.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Like very piercing. I bet her name is Francesca.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Francesca.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  I will pass along the message.

• 22:23Dax Shepard?

  Wow, reachable on Instagram, I hope.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  She is beautiful.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  She is gorgeous. I'm actually going to Jamaica in a week. And there's an open spot.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  I got a seat next to me on the plane.

• 22:35Dax Shepard?

  First date Jamaica. Okay, so I guess also I just am curious. I know what it's like to be the little brother in this scenario.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  How many older brothers? Just one?

• 22:44Dax Shepard?

  Just one, and he's five years older. And it's only now that I'm writing about my childhood where I recognize the amount of pressure that was on his shoulders. He was dealing with the same thing with mom, and then also I'm supposed to be protecting this little boy. I am now understanding how insanely stressful that probably was for him.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  You know, it's funny, your older brother probably thinks about it that way too, though, like for you, because I think about my younger brother and I'm just like, I can't imagine having to live up to all this shit. Sometimes I feel so fucking bad and sometimes I feel like crying. I'll be sitting alone and thinking about my family and want to literally just scream or cry just because there's so much you want to say, but you can't because you gotta work through this and they gotta say what they gotta say. And by the time they do, you probably don't even remember what you were gonna say.

• 23:21Dax Shepard?

  You feel like there's a bunch of healing out there that's not been done.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's been so much damage, I suppose.

• 23:26Dax Shepard?

  I think what might be nice about your position is when you watch him struggle, again, I've had this with my best friend since he got sober. I have compassion for him I can't really have for myself. And similarly, I wonder if you look at the fact that you had to send your brother to treatment, you might go, oh, yeah, man, this is kind of the outcome of what we dealt with. So obvious that's what's happening for him and maybe you can extend that to yourself.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  It's funny you say, yeah, because it's harder to think about yourself in that perspective.

• 23:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I deserve anything bad that happened to me.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Because you're kind of taught from a young age not to. When kids do it and it's unregulated and you don't know the other side, like parents worry that it's some form of narcissism. That way of thinking is phased out. And so you sort of cater to other people and you fill that void by worrying about other people.

• 24:06Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  I never extend that care to myself or that courtesy or that grace. I've never, ever done it. And part of that, I think, makes me who I am and high functioning. And it's gotten me to where I'm at.

• 24:16Dax Shepard?

  You're also 29. You got a lot of time to figure out how to love yourself and not be mad at yourself.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  So, yeah, I just took my family to Big Sur. That was super nice. We were out in Carmel. I got this cabin. My nephews are good. They're playing. My brother's good. He's on the couch. His girl's good. My son's okay. My mom's sitting, telling me about the space in a song, like a Justin Bieber song, because my mom loves Justin Bieber.

• 24:40Dax Shepard?

  Come on. Doesn't.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Shout out, Justin. I was talking to her and she's like reveling in this space of a guitar solo between verses. And it's not like we don't have lighthearted talks. For some reason, this one felt significant. This sentence, like, I love the space here. I think that was all she said. But for me, it felt like a point of departure. It was like, everyone's safe.

• 25:01Dax Shepard?

  She does not have the weight of a bunch of other things.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  She's so comfortable not worrying about babies or rent or food that she's telling me about an understated guitar solo in a pop album. And for some reason, it hit me like I wanted to cry. So I'm thinking, I made it to this point. It's always been a little bit stressful, but for some reason, I'm not living like the way I want to. Like a piece of art, like Prince would, you know? These stories about these artists that you hear and you're like, oh, it'd be easy to live like that. All you would have to do is make sure a couple of things are in check. So I'm like, what's stopping me from doing that? You know, when you're hanging out with someone you're interested in and you bring them around to your old friends and your old friends won't let you be a new guy. They won't let you progress.

• 25:34Dax Shepard?

  Yes, they're threatened by who you might be with this person.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  So I have that friend in my head that never lets me be different or progress. And it's always reminded me of something I did before, and that's why you're not able to do this. Your street cred was fucked back here. You're not this guy. But I'm like, what is this guy? So instead of being like, okay, just can't do that anymore. I'm like, what is this? Why is this? I got a lot of shame too, because of this narcissism that was sort of created for me with my cell phone. Like, it gave me narcissism. And a lot of people didn't have this opportunity to go look at themselves or how people are interacting with them. Right now, if you wanted to know someone's opinion of you, you can go get it. Yes.

• 26:12Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  I could go get anyone's opinion of me.

• 26:14Dax Shepard?

  It's irresistible.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  That gives me shame because I'm constantly have this reference of myself when really there is no reference of yourself. If you wake up today and you want to be a fucking chair, like, it's all good. Today, I was like, I don't want this shame. I don't want this vanity, so I'm not doing it. And removing that, for some reason, coming back to it like a mantra, like, I don't want shame. I don't want vanity right now. The sky's blue and like my stomach is easier. I can talk and I'm not worried about a microphone in my face or a camera or the imprint for the rest of my life of the words. I don't give a damn now and it's really good.

• 26:43Dax Shepard?

  Have you seen the Jonah Hill documentary with Phil Stutz?

• 26:47Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:47Dax Shepard?

  You should watch it. It's about him and his therapist.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Oh, I know about it.

• 26:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and he talks a lot about this. So that voice, he would call the shadow. And the shadow is created to protect you at some point when you're younger. And then you outgrow it as your life evolves. And the shadow is afraid you're gonna leave it behind. So there's this weird practice of thanking your shadow, appreciating your shadow, inviting them to be a part of the new you, and then they fight back less. I know, it's a pretty fascinating part of that doc.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Giving them form and humanizing emotions. Somatic therapy is big on that. It's helped me with a lot of that.

• 27:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Okay, so during all this chaos, you find, is it Avalon Forest?

• 27:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:28Dax Shepard?

  Tell me about Avalon Forest.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  My childhood was kind of like South Park. The day would start and it's us four friends. And we're all like sitting on a stoop and I'd be like, an idea comes and an adventure takes place. And the Forest of Avalon was just one of those episodes of that season. We went to the beach, me and my four friends. We find some weed on a rock on the beach. Super rare. What a blessing.

• 27:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  14 year olds, you know?

• 27:52Dax Shepard?

  God wants you to consume.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  No one's around. Yeah, we didn't have to go through sketchy drug deal to get it. You know, not get robbed, beat up, police. It's just on a rock. We just start riding our bikes around because that was our mode of transportation. The bike, the pegs, the shoulders. God, I miss that. Anyway. We're riding around and my home was small and the problems were so present. You could feel it and you addressed them every time you walked in the room. So every time I left the house, it was like, let's get into it. I wanted Alice in Wonderland.

• 28:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Every time. I wanted there to be some sort of danger. We narrowly escaped and the Forest of Avalon was like perfect for that.

• 28:28Dax Shepard?

  And you know why? Because our arousal setting was set way too fucking high. It takes a lot to wake us up.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, because you might think that if you're coming from chaos, all you want is peace. Yeah, all you want. But it makes sense. Like, no, that's not the idea of fun when you grow up with the chaos level.

• 28:45Dax Shepard?

  10% of my memoirs so far as this field, we've let shit on fire and we had a rope swing.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  This is what I'm describing.

• 28:53Dax Shepard?

  Out there and act like a fucking caveman.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, did you have a name for it? Cause I had a name and it made it so much funnier.

• 28:57Dax Shepard?

  No, we didn't.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  It was just the Forest of Avalon, the mystical Forest of Avalon is what we call it.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  It sounds magical.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Every time you said it and you'd hit the joint and call that, I'd be like, you know.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  So it wasn't a real place? It's just a place in your mind?

• 29:09Speaker 02

  It was literally an undeveloped lot. It was just a lot that had not yet turned into a writ.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:15Dax Shepard?

  Where you might be able to make your own society.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:18Dax Shepard?

  With its own rules.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Lord of the Flies kinda deal. I loved it.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Possibility.

• 29:21Dax Shepard?

  My dad was an addict and I was like, I'm never gonna do anything. And then that failed, but that was my initial game plan. I was like, I know what this does to my family. I'm not gonna fuck with it. Did you have any reservations about smoking weed or doing anything?

• 29:33Speaker 02

  Around the time that it happened, no, but initially, yeah. Cause I saw my mom smoke cigarettes and I found my mom doing drugs a lot too. I would find heroin and just put it back. By the time I made it there, I was trying to just keep my hands from not sweating. So if someone's like, yeah, we smoke weed. That's what we do. I'm like, damn right. That's what we do. And we fucking kiss girls too.

• 29:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. Whatever things I'm supposed to be doing to be acknowledged as a boy.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  What's that? We hate school?

• 30:00Dax Shepard?

  Who's an asshole? Right? It's right there in asshole.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just confirmation of your identity with people around you. I mean, we all did that.

• 30:08Dax Shepard?

  So when do you start? Well, you start rapping at that point too.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  I did, but that was more for fun. We just started getting drunk. One of our friends, Gus, had a rich parent situation, a huge house. And we would go and steal his mom's Kahlua and like fill the bottles.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  Freestyle in the car. It was just around the time when Currency was really cool. Lil Wayne was really big. The drought mixtapes or whatever they call them, No Ceilings, all that kinda stuff was coming out. And I had this Colombian friend named LeBron, shout out to LeBron, who's an idiot. Legitimately an idiot.

• 30:37Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  And this guy was only into Lil B and pissing people off, like teachers, just calling them slurs that they didn't know. What they did because of rap songs. So this kid was funny and we would just sit in the car and freestyle all night. And then one time we're drunk as fuck and he turns to me, he's like, dude, you're kinda too good at this. And like took the mic over and they just started doing fart bars again, you know? And then from that moment, something did kinda flip there.

• 30:58Dax Shepard?

  Where you're like, oh, I want to pursue this.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  I was like, how do you guys not see the paths in the writing? Sometimes they would sing something and do a flow and I'd be like, and I expected them to hit it there and they left. I'm like, well, no, this is the right way. And I think that was the reason I started making music. Cause there was like a period of time where Weezer music and Jack Johnson music or Chili. Like I hadn't heard of guitar solo in like five years.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  And so I'm sitting on house arrest. I'm like, well shit, I guess I could make it.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 31:30Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Skims. Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set, looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally going to be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season. Because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening, the same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late night hot chocolate. Be cozy.

• 32:06Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 32:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, tell me more.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multipurpose this and look super cute.

• 32:35Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Armchair Expert in the dropdown menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 33:04Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every family has that one holiday tradition nobody actually enjoys, but everyone keeps doing because stopping it would feel like a federal offense. For me, it was a specific meal situation that I will not name because my family listens. But at some point you have to ask yourself, am I doing this because I love it? Or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't?

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Yes, and that question applies to so much more than the holidays. I think a lot of us carry these invisible Rules about how we're supposed to spend the holidays, who we're supposed to see, what it's supposed to look like. And when you start unpacking that with a therapist, you realize half of your stress is coming from rules you didn't even write.

• 33:42Dax Shepard?

  This is where BetterHelp can be a great resource during the holidays. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, which means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  I just love therapy. I've been avoiding it recently, or not avoiding it, but I was like, oh, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy. I haven't canceled, canceled, canceled. But then I-

• 34:10Dax Shepard?

  You start feeling it.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, because then I had it this past weekend and I was like, oh my God. And just thank God, thank God for her. Yeah.

• 34:18Dax Shepard?

  BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans, with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/dax. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash dax. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight

• 35:02Dax Shepard?

  who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be, or taking birth control pills, and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include- nausea and vomiting which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems. Once Daily Foundo is available by prescription only in 0.8 milligram, 2.5 milligram,

• 35:52Speaker 04

  5.5 milligram, 9 milligram, 14.5 milligram and 17.2 milligram tablets. Learn more at foundo.lily.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.

• 36:04Dax Shepard?

  This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts, the stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it. Start to finish, cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 36:47Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 36:48Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com.

• 36:59Dax Shepard?

  Well, let's talk about how do you get to house arrest? Because yes, this is great. Now the story really takes off.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  We were having a going away party for my older brother. I was living with my older brother at this point. I'm homeless. My mom's in jail. So I'm on his couch and I'm just doing little sessions with people because I at this point got a name in my city from just rapping. So people are paying me two, 300 bucks to do a verse, which is like horrible. But back then, you're going to give me money to eat, of course. I'm going to do whatever the fuck you want. I'll sing and dance too. I'll definitely rap. So then I get into this kind of lifestyle where I'm in and out of the studio and partying a lot. And so is my little brother. When my mother was in jail, for a while, we tried to hold on to the house. So he starts car hopping, like stealing from cars, like we'd get like carbines and shit and sell them. iPad, whatever. Sometimes you find like 10 grand in cash and he's paying the rent for so long and then he goes to jail.

• 37:47Dax Shepard?

  At what age?

• 37:48Speaker 02

  Like 16, some shit.

• 37:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  And he's in there for a while and then he gets out finally. Five days out of jail. My older brother now, my stepbrother is going away.

• 37:55Dax Shepard?

  He's going to jail as well?

• 37:56Speaker 02

  No, he's just going away.

• 37:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh. He's leaving on his own recognizance?

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Right, to jail, right? He's just going to travel.

• 38:04Dax Shepard?

  He's going to Miami.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  I think he's going to California to pursue a rap career.

• 38:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, and we're all excited for him. And my brother is there and he's drunk. And a cop pulls up for a noise complaint. So my brother starts dipping out. He's on probation. And once you get out, you're not supposed to do anything stupid in like the first five days. I know that's a rule.

• 38:22Dax Shepard?

  Drinking underage probably isn't a good look.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 38:25Dax Shepard?

  Here we go.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  This is awesome. This is awesome, okay. Dude, I shit you not, he runs away. It's an apartment complex, there's a nearby lake. And they have these reeds sticking out of the fucking lake.

• 38:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  Do you know where I'm going with this?

• 38:36Dax Shepard?

  Yes, without a paddle.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  Yes. Crazy. He did that.

• 38:42Dax Shepard?

  He performed.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  What did he do? He performed.

• 38:45Dax Shepard?

  It's from cartoons originally. It's like you go underwater and you can't breathe and they're shooting at you. So you take a reed and you breathe through it, use it as a snorkel. And we did it without a paddle, but it's like a cartoon trick. Wait, here we go, real life?

• 38:56Speaker 02

  Yes. Oh, because he saw it without? Yes, yes. Oh, my God. We used to watch it religiously. So full circle. He's doing that. So the cop starts chasing my brother. I'm chasing the cop the entire time, too. So at one point, the cop notices me next to him. I'm trying to tell Alex, yo, slow down, the cop's not gonna do anything. It's fine, I got you, it's good. So the only thing I can think of is trip the cop.

• 39:17Dax Shepard?

  Keep the cop from you, brother, because he's gonna go back to jail.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Whatever works, yeah. So he pulls out a taser, I'm thinking this is a fucking gun. Immediately, my instincts, boom, and I knock this dude over.

• 39:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Man, I knew I fucked up. I saw him be embarrassed. You know when a grown man gets fucking embarrassed?

• 39:31Dax Shepard?

  Dangerous.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he's a cop.

• 39:32Dax Shepard?

  No, you're lucky he didn't get shot.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  He fucked me up, boy. And then he put me in that car and then I went to jail.

• 39:38Dax Shepard?

  And then you got assaulting an officer charge.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and then you get house arrest. How long was that supposed to last?

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Supposed to be, I think, a year.

• 39:46Dax Shepard?

  And then how did you fuck up house arrest?

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Cocaine.

• 39:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  Crazy. So House Rest really enabled me to focus because I had just been running around. Like I'd been making music here and there, but it was for features. It was like transactional. None of it was real art. None of it was face to face with any sort of songwriting. Like, I really hadn't even thought about a stanza in months prior to this. So I finally get on House Rest. I'm at my computer. Actually, there was these girls, shout out to Bailey and Kelly, but they just let me live at their house because they liked me.

• 40:10Dax Shepard?

  And you're cute as fuck.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're like, you're fucking so cute.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  It's this cute face in our apartment.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, they let me live with them and I just started making music with them. I had a girlfriend at the time and I used to play guitar for her. I hadn't played in years, but she bought me a guitar. Like, remember when you used to play guitar for me? I'm like, yeah. So I start playing the guitar again. And then I'm like, shit, I'll make a mixtape with a guitar, though. This time I'll sing instead of rap and maybe it'll be for girls. Turns out it just sparked my entire career. That's all I do now. I hardly rap.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is for girls. We all like it.

• 40:41Dax Shepard?

  It's working.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  It's working pretty well. I have a question really quick. How do you feel, and I'm sure you've told your story many times, when people show pity? What does that do to you? Are you like, yeah, that makes sense when people say, ah, or are you like, no, it's fine. Don't feel bad for me?

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think I've told the story enough times at this point. I've seen all the reactions.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Some of them surprised me. Some of them are comforting to me. Sometimes pity's good. Sometimes you want it. Sometimes when you're telling your story and you're in Europe and you're hungry, you want something to eat. And this lady's asking you about it and you tell her that and she pities you, she puts a little bit more cheese on that thing.

• 41:14Dax Shepard?

  Sure can work for you.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I can imagine, I feel multiple times in hearing this, like, oh, man.

• 41:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, don't you feel like I gotta take care of this?

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's that.

• 41:24Dax Shepard?

  I bet there's a lot of gals attracted to you that are looking to take care of you.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. How do you like it? Because you don't love it. You don't like it.

• 41:33Dax Shepard?

  I don't want anyone to take care of me.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  But you do.

• 41:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, secretly. Don't tell anybody, though.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:40Dax Shepard?

  Well, I want you to like me and not like me at the same time.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Not like me for the reasons that I want you to not like me.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 41:46Dax Shepard?

  There's a lot of active contradictions. Okay, but you didn't get to cocaine or breaking House Rest.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:51Dax Shepard?

  So you're in there focusing and it's doing wonders for your songwriting, but...

• 41:55Speaker 02

  But I'm in a room all day and I'm trapped all day. And even now, that's my job. I know that it's healthy to step away.

• 42:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, isolation is...

• 42:02Speaker 02

  It's a bitch. So I start using... Everything I can that has a short span in your stream. Coke's like three days, yeah?

• 42:09Dax Shepard?

  Is that what it is?

• 42:10Speaker 02

  I don't know. When I was looking it up, they're like, you work out, do this.

• 42:14Dax Shepard?

  I wasn't taking a lot of piss tests when I was smoking crack. This may surprise you, I didn't hold any employment.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  You know what's funny? Me neither, but I think it's something in middle school that you do with friends when it comes to weed. It's like you guys discuss like the shelf life of drugs in your system.

• 42:25Dax Shepard?

  I do know weed lasts for like a month. I know that one.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, everyone knows that. Every guy knows that.

• 42:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and meth lasts a while in your system too, but I don't know Coke.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Coke's one of the quicker ones. So I'm doing Coke, right?

• 42:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because you might take a piss test. I guess you are on house arrest.

• 42:40Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  I'm bored and the girls are always at work and their mom lived there too, but she's always at work. She's trying to get me to go to school. She's like, Dom, you need to do something with your life. I'm telling her I'm making a mixtape. Kid with a face tat smoking dope, doing coke in her fucking department, talking about a mixtape.

• 42:55Dax Shepard?

  I'm not necessarily investing on that startup.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  No one gave a damn. No one gave a damn. And then I get called in. I think, and it's right as I finish the last song on the mixtape, I'm up doing coke that night. And the dude calls me at 7 a.m. to dominate another drug test. And I'm thinking like, oh, I just did it. So it's probably not even in there yet.

• 43:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 43:15Speaker 05

  Oh, like I just did a five minutes.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  Like, what's up, Pete? Give me the cup, motherfucker.

• 43:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  He gives me the cup and I just failed and he put cuffs on me right there. I'd never been so in disbelief. I was like.

• 43:27Dax Shepard?

  You thought you had it all.

• 43:28Speaker 05

  Well, the coke will do that, won't it?

• 43:29Dax Shepard?

  That's the great thing about coke. It makes you optimistic. That's why it's a relief.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  And then I went to jail for a while and during that time in jail, I released the mixtape.

• 43:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So how was the time in jail? You were in county?

• 43:40Speaker 02

  It's awesome.

• 43:40Dax Shepard?

  It was great. Highly recommended.

• 43:42Speaker 05

  Really?

• 43:43Speaker 02

  I had a good time in jail.

• 43:44Dax Shepard?

  Again, this is a stereotype, but I'm worried how cute you are. I'm a little worried about how cute you are.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  Well, that's scary.

• 43:49Dax Shepard?

  I know. I said, I hate to perpetuate a stereotype.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  So it's not really like that no more.

• 43:54Speaker 05

  Okay, tell us.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  There's this thing called like PETA, PETA, RETA, something like that. It's some four letter acronym that is against prison rape.

• 44:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so we got some action in there now.

• 44:03Speaker 05

  We got some protests.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  It's huge. It's like Dare, but if they kept doing Dare.

• 44:07Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  And it was a huge nationwide. And it worked. I had the full, long hair. I was like 20 in there.

• 44:13Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  I was a piece of ass.

• 44:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there we go. You're a piece of ass.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  I was.

• 44:17Dax Shepard?

  Call it what it is.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I was in a violent block because of my charge. My bunkie murdered his family.

• 44:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Hilarious though. The funniest guy.

• 44:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, if you can't laugh about murdering your family, I don't want to be tragic.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  You can't laugh with him because you killed them all.

• 44:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God. Wait, how long were you in jail?

• 44:37Speaker 02

  Like a year.

• 44:37Dax Shepard?

  I did have one question. We blew past. Did you watch Florida Project?

• 44:41Speaker 02

  No, I never watched Florida Project. I was never into people making movies about my town because they always did it wrong and I just didn't want to be let down pissed off with.

• 44:48Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you will be with that. I hadn't seen it when everyone else saw it, but then I loved Anora. So I went back.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Anora's great.

• 44:54Dax Shepard?

  And watched Florida Project. Florida Project's better than Anora and I love Anora. Florida Project is.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  That's a crazy take.

• 45:01Dax Shepard?

  It's awesome.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  Sean Baker's amazing. Oh, he did Florida Project.

• 45:03Dax Shepard?

  He did Florida Project.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Okay, we love Sean Baker though.

• 45:05Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and it has this impossible thing that kids have. Once every 30 years, someone captures little kids being little kids. You're like, how did they get this to happen? It's magic.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  The first time you saw Dakota Fanning, you're like, what the fuck's going on?

• 45:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I am Sam. Uh, very more E.T. Drew Barrymore E.T.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:22Dax Shepard?

  So you piss hot, you go to county, you release the music. Now, this is so improbable. By the time they, he gets out, there is a bidding war to sign you and you sign at Columbia for $4 million?

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:36Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 45:39Dax Shepard?

  This is up there with, um. Ki Ki Kwan, yeah. Ki Ki Kwan. Yes. He's on a refugee ship.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Oh wow.

• 45:46Dax Shepard?

  Within a year, he's flying first class. With Steven Spielberg. To be an Indiana Jones. Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 45:51Dax Shepard?

  So yeah, this getting out of prison to a $4 million contract, how do you compute that?

• 45:55Speaker 02

  I, I don't know. It was kind of like the first of its kind in that span of time to happen to this bidding war thing. I'd never been a part of anything like that.

• 46:03Dax Shepard?

  Because it was big on SoundCloud, right? You had put it all on SoundCloud.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I put it on SoundCloud and then my manager, Reed, who's still my manager to this day, takes it off real quick because he sees it starting to garner attention.

• 46:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  We had a couple like suits reach out. We'd never been in contact with anybody like that. I've been releasing music for five years at this point. These dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail.

• 46:20Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  This dude that's like, hey, Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire?

• 46:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and you're like.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  I'm homeless.

• 46:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I'm not doing this for a penny under $4 million. You can take $3 million, shove it in your.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Well, what happened was my mom is in jail and my dad's in jail at this point. Both are facing 20 years because this whole time, my family, they're huge heroin dealers. My stepdad Sean's a heroin trafficker. We're all chilling. At one point, and we'd been doing this for years, living in hotels, selling coke. It worked out. It put me through school. And then all the doors get kicked down at our hotels and at our other houses. And everyone's taken to jail, marshals. It's in the news. I'm seeing them both. I'm like, oh, man, they're fucked 20 years each. So I'm in jail too, and my sister's up for adoption because of this, and my brother's in jail. And I need to get my sister out of adoption. I need to get my mom out of jail, and I need to get my stepdad out of jail. So each lawyer for them is 200 grand. And then to get my sister out, I'm still paying for that to this day.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  So I'm thinking about my position, and I'm homeless at the time, you know, and I need some fucking money. Yeah.

• 47:17Dax Shepard?

  You're damn so.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  This is my work that y'all are buying. All this is in my head. It wasn't that I came up with like 4 million. I'd never seen money over a thousand dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. So motherfuckers are like 200,000. I'm like, that sounds like a not real number, I guess. Cool. I'm not pushing it up. Another dude flies from another label, comes to the jail, says a bigger number. And then I didn't even know this was a thing. I tell that dude that the guy said a bigger number. Yeah. This motherfucker goes with a bigger number. I'm like, wow, I feel like I'm a athlete.

• 47:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're in Jerry Maguire.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Jerry Maguire, yeah, dude, that made me so funny. We get to the point where we're in LA and on top of the Columbia building, or the Sony building, because at this point, Rob Stringer's involved, the dude who owns Sony. He's like, all right, who's this motherfucker? Like, everyone's throwing this money around. Who's this guy? He comes to meet me. We're in a meeting. And at this point, I know how to do this money thing, the bidding thing. So I'm in the room and I'm like playing them songs and they're like, oh, these are so good. And then I'm like, yeah, well, you never know. And I'm about to walk out and Rob Stringer's like, so what, are we doing this or not? Because he's a businessman. I respect him so much. I'm like, well, and Ron's like, maybe we could. And he's like, no, no more millions. Are we doing this right now? I'm like, yeah, I'll do it right now. And we just sign it. And we pop a bottle of champagne on this rooftop. It's me, Rob, and a couple of my friends. And then I go into the bathroom. And I'm like, yeah, I gotta piss because of all the champagne. And I'm looking at my phone, the bank account. Shouldn't I see the number jump?

• 48:32Speaker 05

  No way.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  At the urinal. And then from then on, I just don't remember. It's been like seven years of.

• 48:36Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 48:37Dax Shepard?

  So you initially just blew a ton of money on lawyers?

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:42Dax Shepard?

  Were they successful?

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Only one. My father's still in jail to this day. Mom got off, crazy probation. I was able to get her custody of my sister back.

• 48:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Move her out here. She hasn't worked a day since.

• 48:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, this is great.

• 48:55Speaker 05

  It's a movie.

• 48:56Dax Shepard?

  It is a movie. I gotta piss and then I want to talk about ether.

• 48:59Speaker 05

  Okay, you guys go potty.

• 49:01Dax Shepard?

  How'd it go?

• 49:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Thick, ropey.

• 49:05Speaker 05

  We get it all out.

• 49:06Dax Shepard?

  Or a weak, thin.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Pretty weak.

• 49:08Dax Shepard?

  Pretty weak.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Sure, sure. My friend Stefan was walking by the bathroom when I was like seventeen and I was peeing and he was just like, "Weak." And that has stuck with me for nine years.

• 49:22Dax Shepard?

  We've talked about this. I think guys, when they go into a toilet and they think other people can hear them, they think people are evaluating how big their dick is by how powerful the stream is.

• 49:30Speaker 05

  Well, it sounds like they are.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Wait, have you ever done that thing to yourself?

• 49:34Dax Shepard?

  Sure. Like, I thought, oh, that guy's wrestling a hog in there.

• 49:39Dax Shepard?

  I hope you can keep it in the toilet. But you're right, it's almost counterintuitive because really, if you think, if you had to pass the urine through eighteen inches of sazish, that would slow it down.

• 49:50Speaker 05

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 49:51Dax Shepard?

  It's almost like we have the backwards notion.

• 49:54Speaker 05

  But it really, it's like.

• 49:54Dax Shepard?

  If it was just a hole coming out of your top of your balls, it'd probably like.

• 49:58Speaker 05

  I mean, it's how big the urethra is.

• 50:00Dax Shepard?

  Surely, surely.

• 50:01Speaker 05

  Not having nothing to do with this.

• 50:02Dax Shepard?

  How much pipe it's got to pass through. It's gonna lose momentum. Unless it's like the early mining hydro projects where it's like the urethra is big at the top and gets narrower, then it would increase the pressure.

• 50:14Speaker 05

  We'll look into it for the fact check, as we mentioned earlier.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  So what is that?

• 50:18Dax Shepard?

  I think it's a common.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  I went and listened to a lot of the podcasts and I actually went far back because I just put it on to sleep to.

• 50:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  It's good to sleep to. By the way, that's awesome.

• 50:28Dax Shepard?

  I'm with you.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Media that you can sleep to.

• 50:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I agree.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  To me, priceless.

• 50:32Dax Shepard?

  That's biographies for me.

• 50:34Speaker 05

  Comforting.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  You ever listen to the podcast Cum Town?

• 50:36Speaker 05

  No.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Are you guys familiar with the podcast?

• 50:38Dax Shepard?

  C U N Town?

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Cum Town.

• 50:39Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. I like the title. Tell me more.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Mick Mullins, Starbros Hockes and Adam Friedland, they have since disbanded, but they were like the originators of, to me, the comedy podcast.

• 50:48Speaker 05

  Oh, cool.

• 50:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and it was called Cum Town. That's a big thing.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  It was just horrible shit. Nonstop racism, like.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  Oh, wow. Okay, so the original manosphere.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Like horrible. Yeah, but now it's different, the manosphere.

• 50:59Dax Shepard?

  Well, also, I heard you say in an interview that Florida has a different sense of humor than L.A. You can go a lot harder.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  But now the world is kind of like taking, everyone can say retard now. Everyone likes to say it.

• 51:12Speaker 05

  It's turned back.

• 51:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, people were like.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  Say that now. That's why they've been saying in South Park, they're like, everyone says it now. Carmen's walking around with a shirt that says woke is dead because he's sad he doesn't have anyone to oppose anymore.

• 51:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  How I feel now.

• 51:22Dax Shepard?

  Sure, people are confused. No one knows what ends, what's up. Was it liberal to say this or conservative?

• 51:28Speaker 02

  I miss it. Stay in your lane. Play your role. You're not a bad boy now.

• 51:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  Four million dollars appears in the bank account.

• 51:34Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you spend a lot of the money immediately on your family. That's lovely. And then you have your debut studio album in 2021.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:43Dax Shepard?

  Three Nights was huge. That's streamed a billion times.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 51:46Dax Shepard?

  So that's your first kind of big hit. If I were you and I had been in jail and these people start flying to see me, I would have the most imposterous and impossible. Like, they're fucking up. I'm not worthy of flying here.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  I felt pretty like, I'm in jail. I felt like fucking Al Capone or some shit. I'm like, this is the least impostory I've felt.

• 52:05Dax Shepard?

  In jail, right. Because you're like, I'm a piece of shit and I'm where pieces of shit belong.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Really doing it. I went all the way with this thing.

• 52:13Dax Shepard?

  People said this is where I'd end up and here I am. They were right. No, but the notion that I would be worth four million dollar investment, given your track record, would have been kind of overwhelming pressure for me.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  Time in my mind, I'm like, white people are crazy. Yeah.

• 52:27Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  What the hell? The first mail, I'm like, fucking hearing this shit, mom? Like, what are you talking about?

• 52:32Dax Shepard?

  These white people are nuts.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  You guys are nuts. I don't know what you're talking about.

• 52:35Dax Shepard?

  So did that get in the way of you being creative at all? Feeling like, oh my God, these guys just bet four million. I mean, I'm never gonna have a hit that's gonna pay this off.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Back then, that was my thought, but really it fueled so much. The older you get in this industry, you start looking for somebody to like jumpstart your shit. You're never using your old funds to pay for your shit, first of all. But back then, receiving money like that, I didn't realize it was like jet propulsion. It really pushed me into this thing. I'd never seen snow before too, when I got out of jail and they gave me all this money. So I'm like, let's go get a house in the snow. So I go to the highest point in Colorado. So I start thinking like, how Led Zeppelin and shit, how they made albums, they would go out and retreat. And I'm like, well, I'm a rap artist, but I just made this rock album and now people are talking to me about my basslines and about my writing. Maybe I'll just boom, go into that mode.

• 53:17Dax Shepard?

  What to double down on, right?

• 53:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, where to double down. Exactly. And so I'm like, well, let's go see snow. So we go to Breckenridge, I get cab and I bring all my friends. That are producers and it's a fucking madhouse.

• 53:29Dax Shepard?

  In a good or a bad way?

• 53:30Speaker 02

  In the best way. I hired one of my friends to be a chef, guy I'd never. My best friend Max, his mom died when he was young and he had his dad, who was a good dad, but absent a lot of the time. And I was homeless at this time and whenever I would come to Max's house and we wouldn't eat food and our parents wouldn't be there, he would cook us up something. He would go into the fridge and say, oh, here, I could whip us up something like this. So when I get my money and he's my best friend at the time, like just come chef for me. Come chef for the guys, cook, cook on some very sweet story shit. That's what he does. And I'm taking all my other friends as producers, but we didn't realize like the altitude thing.

• 54:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, that conducive to great thinking.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Oh my God, we're up there drinking whiskey.

• 54:04Dax Shepard?

  No, the hangovers at altitude are something else.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  God. And also you don't stop to think about your nose. At one point I wake up and I'm like, I can't breathe and we're supposed to be recording an album. I have to sleep with six humidifiers on me. So I would wake up soaking wet every morning and like go down and record, get drunk. Turns out this album was actually one of my favorite albums to listen to now.

• 54:26Dax Shepard?

  Well, all these things work for a while until they don't work.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  You're so right.

• 54:29Dax Shepard?

  You don't do them over and over again because they didn't work initially.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 54:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, all this stuff's like you get hammered. Oh, I can talk to girls. That worked out great. I now don't have social anxiety. That's cool. I did this and I stuck out for myself. All these little things you build while it's positive. So that album does really well. And then I want to know what it's like. You end up singing on a Bieber song.

• 54:48Speaker 05

  Shout out Justin again, second shout out of the pod.

• 54:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think he deserves it.

• 54:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, of course.

• 54:54Dax Shepard?

  Something else.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  I hadn't done any features with anybody and I still don't really do features. I think the only features I've done is like Remy Wolf, Paul McCartney and Justin Bieber.

• 55:01Dax Shepard?

  That's pretty solid. How did you get approached? Does he call you? How does he know about you?

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Okay. Yeah. So I'm in Antigua in rehab.

• 55:08Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's where I sent my best friend Aaron.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  For real?

• 55:11Dax Shepard?

  Crossroads.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was at Crossroads.

• 55:13Dax Shepard?

  Nice.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  So I'm in Crossroads.

• 55:14Speaker 05

  When is this? Wait, sorry. Yeah.

• 55:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. How do you end up in Crossroads?

• 55:17Speaker 02

  I was dating this really nice Jewish actress lady. I love her so much. Her name is Diana Silvers. She was amazing. And we were dating for a while and I.

• 55:26Dax Shepard?

  I already know the answer.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  You already know what happened, right?

• 55:28Dax Shepard?

  You cheated.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:29Dax Shepard?

  You cheated and then what happened?

• 55:30Speaker 02

  And then she's like, you need to go to rehab. And I'm like, it wasn't me. It was the drugs that I'm on, da, da, da, go to rehab.

• 55:36Dax Shepard?

  Not true and not true.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Not true and not true. Both not true.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  It's funny talking to you guys, you can't really bullshit, you know? That's funny. So yeah, I've been cross-reaching.

• 55:48Dax Shepard?

  This is why the program works.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  I don't have my phone, because they don't let you have your phone, but apparently he DMs me. My manager calls me, because you get the phone like, once a week, or something, and I'm on the fucking jail phone.

• 55:58Dax Shepard?

  Earnin' your swimming rights?

• 55:59Speaker 02

  It was COVID, actually. I went during COVID.

• 56:01Dax Shepard?

  So did Aaron. I wonder, when Aaron was there...

• 56:04Speaker 02

  What is Aaron?

• 56:04Dax Shepard?

  Aaron's my best friend, from childhood, and he was there in 2019 Thanksgiving to January 1st, 2020. You guys just miss each other?

• 56:15Speaker 02

  Probably. It's hard to catch each other, because nobody really stays at those. No one's ever like...

• 56:19Dax Shepard?

  He did a full, like, month and a half. I was proud of him. He accepted the advice to stay longer, which I was happy about.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  Good. Which no one ever does. No one ever does.

• 56:27Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you're at Crossroads. There was this cheating event. Did you yourself think I have some kind of substance abuse issue? Were you there yet, or no?

• 56:36Speaker 02

  No, because my parents were drug dealers. At a young age, they're giving me drugs. My mom finds drugs, she gives me more drugs. So it's like, I didn't know what normal was. And as far as I'm concerned, all these normal people don't have as much money as me at the fucking time. I'm like, "Y'all, what the fuck does that mean?" Yeah, this is complicated.

• 56:54Dax Shepard?

  I'm doing it wrong, but it seems to be working pretty well.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  It's working alright!

• 56:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so he DMs you, and how do we think he found you? He just heard?

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Haley. Oh, Hailey Bieber. He was like, "Yeah, Haley's been listening to..." Which is always my point of entry, is somebody's girlfriend. That's right! So funny.

• 57:09Dax Shepard?

  Same, my friend.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  That's this show too. That's how we get any guy, is somebody's wife or girlfriend. Of course.

• 57:15Dax Shepard?

  The 10% that resist hating are guts.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  They'll join in.

• 57:20Dax Shepard?

  I think it's more common to go, "Fuck this dude. Oh, he's been molested, and he's honest about it. Oh, what a stunt."

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Okay, so she loved it. She loved you. She had been playing it for him, and he was like, "I've been drumming to it for the past month. Why don't you come by and do something?" And I'm telling him, like, "Right now, like, y'all, I'm in rehab." And he's like, "Oh, that's cool." I know that he's dealt with some... Yeah. Dude, he's the coolest guy also. Let me just say that.

• 57:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, please do. Yeah, I don't think anyone knows, we had this faux fight with him in the media, Chris and I.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  What, with Justin?

• 57:54Dax Shepard?

  Years ago.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  I'll patch it up right now. Call him.

• 57:57Dax Shepard?

  Years ago, he was renting a house in this neighborhood. And when he was renting that house, the paparazzi were out in front, nonstop for him. But guess what? If he wasn't around, they'd pick us up because fuck it, they're just there.

• 58:07Speaker 05

  They're there.

• 58:08Dax Shepard?

  So it upped our paparazzi interactions a lot. So I think I complained once in an interview that Bieber fucked up our whole scene by moving behind us, but I wasn't mad at him. It's not his fault. That got perpetuated into a little thing.

• 58:20Speaker 05

  Did he think you were really mad?

• 58:22Dax Shepard?

  I think maybe he thought that for a minute because then he had to respond.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  Well, imagine being the dude that everyone's like, he's a lesbian, he fucking looks like Ellen, you know, for years.

• 58:30Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  Anything that pokes you is probably like, well, fuck him then.

• 58:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I completely understand, but I've since spoken very favorably about it. And he did DM me once, interesting, but I missed it by two years. I didn't realize you could look at your DMs.

• 58:42Speaker 05

  He's not good at DMing.

• 58:43Dax Shepard?

  Anyway, I think he's radical.

• 58:45Speaker 02

  He's sick. He just dropped an album.

• 58:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he did?

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Like last night or today.

• 58:49Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  Swag 2 is what it's called.

• 58:50Dax Shepard?

  When you look at him, what quality do you go like, oh, that's the thing I need?

• 58:55Speaker 02

  Well, I say this all the time. So when we worked together, I finally get out of rehab, we go to Henson. We're in the studio.

• 59:00Dax Shepard?

  This is the Muppets Henson?

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay, right here. Yeah. What was it originally? A and M?

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Precisely.

• 59:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Look at you. I was gonna say this. So yeah, I come through there. I'm actually with the girl that I was dating, the Diana girl. We're back because I'm back from rehab.

• 59:12Speaker 05

  You did what you were supposed to do.

• 59:13Speaker 02

  I was supposed to do. She's my ex-girlfriend now, if you can.

• 59:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, we're gathering.

• 59:17Dax Shepard?

  We still are. We're not ruling out Ari Kendley. Life is long.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  She's there, which was insane. You should see how girls look at Justin Bieber, even if they're your girlfriend. It was crazy to see. I was like, damn, do I do that to people ever?

• 59:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. You were doing it to Haley.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Like a shark.

• 59:31Speaker 05

  That's true. Exactly.

• 59:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, this is a push.

• 59:34Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Her eyes turned black like a shark smelling blood.

• 59:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good for him.

• 59:41Speaker 02

  What I do admire about him is he is an athlete with it. When he shows up, it's like seeing Michael Jordan or Kobe step on a court. He's warming up. I mean, I don't dance, but this motherfucker can like pop and lock. So when I write, I was just like, leave me alone. And I'm seeing it over to myself in my head and I'm gonna need some time. Everybody's kinda gotta do your own thing. Don't look at me. Act like you're doing something, even if you're not doing something. Probably don't do anything because it's gonna be too loud and interrupt me, but act like you are.

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  And he's there and he's like, Dom, you know, I think you should do this harmony. And he'd be like, huh? Like hit the harmony.

• 1:00:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:08Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  And I would just be like. Okay, I guess. Cause some artists you work with, they're just like, man, it's all good. Like, we just do whatever. It's music. It's a free love bullshit. This man took a jersey off. And I was like, whoa.

• 1:00:22Dax Shepard?

  Time to get to work.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 1:00:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  And it's still love for it. It wasn't like it's transactional.

• 1:00:27Dax Shepard?

  I'm not a musician, but on the outside, I can see where there are a handful of people who their voices are so great. Like, I don't know a lot about Sinatra, but I think everyone wrote his music. That's not his thing.

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 1:00:38Dax Shepard?

  But you start to see, oh, let's just say Timberlake leaves his boy band, and he ends up with the Neptunes, and that first album is what it is. And it's incredible. And then you wonder, I wonder how much is Justin? And how much is the Neptunes? And then over time, it starts to surface, oh, no, it's them clearly, right? Cause that's Bieber. No matter who he works with, which he works with a lot of people, the quality ends up being there, which leads me to believe, yeah, he has some kind of a work ethic.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  He does have that in the people that do sing and not write their own songs. You would expect that quality to always be present, but it's not. And he has it in, you know, what did people say? In spades, that's what they say. He has, yeah, so much of it.

• 1:01:16Dax Shepard?

  I'm impressed. Okay, so you work with him, then Euphoria comes. How do you get approached for that? And had you ever considered acting?

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  I'd never considered acting at all. I actually didn't want anything to do with acting. I was doing a Triple J performance called Like a Version, where you have to perform another artist's song. So I performed a Claro song, but what I did was I wore a wig, cause I was like, I'm a girl. I was also just high as fuck. So I was just like, whatever.

• 1:01:37Speaker 05

  Okay, so the rehab had not stuck.

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 05

  Okay. Great. Good to know where we're at.

• 1:01:42Dax Shepard?

  It did erase the cheating, but it didn't cure the addiction.

• 1:01:45Speaker 05

  Okay, great, great, great.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  Every time. So I start playing that. And I guess one of the casting agents for Euphoria, her name was Jennifer Vendetti. She saw that video and was apparently intrigued.

• 1:01:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Called me. I didn't know what Euphoria was. I didn't know it's this big fucking TV show. I don't know who Sam Levinson is. I don't know who fucking even Barbie or Zendaya or any of the girls. So the night before. I was reading about some actor who did his thing fucked up or something. Maybe it was a week before. So I stayed up all night with this girl drinking whiskey, taking shrooms. I show up to the audition or the read beyond fucked up. I'm just laughing at Sam and everyone's laughing at me because I'm just laughing at them. And I'm like, what is this script? I'm like throwing shit around and calling Sam like, you weren't in a fucking dress dude, talking to Sam? Because he was wearing a dress and I was like 30 minutes late. I'm like, can you do this? And I was like, I don't know, probably. And we start reading it, but then the words start jumping around on the page. I was like, I can't do this script. And they were like, Dom, just go get rest. And they were so mad at me.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  I remember they called my agents and were like, this kid's never doing anything in Hollywood again, ever. We're so mad, but then I guess I posted something like a month later that was like, it's not about what you do. It's what you do moving forward that really is going to define. And it wasn't in reference to that, but I think that Jennifer saw that. And I think I was living in a different way at that point. I was trying to like buckle down. They called me back. It was like a year later and Sam had written a part for me. Sam had rewritten this character that I showed up to read, but he wrote it with the qualities of the guy he saw show up.

• 1:03:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  So he writes this guy that's like half his character and half the dude that showed up that day. And then I was honest with him. He has a meeting with me. He's like, okay. I know that you get fucked up, obviously. You have some problems. I have those problems too. We can get someone to help you, but you have to do this. You sign a five year contract. It's just a formality, but he's like, I need to know that you're not going to like fuck me on this. I was like, brother, got you. Like I'm not understanding the stakes still of this show. And then we get into filming it. You find out real quick when you see that budget, you know?

• 1:03:34Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:03:35Dax Shepard?

  When you show up in there, it's like 20 semis there.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then you meet all the people too, and you see actors really take this shit serious. So because I'm here, I'm just like, I'm just doing another whatever.

• 1:03:45Dax Shepard?

  Which is like a self-defense mechanism.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  If I suck.

• 1:03:48Dax Shepard?

  I told you, I don't care.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  So true. That was definitely what I felt.

• 1:03:53Dax Shepard?

  And did you feel pretty natural pretty quick? Because you hit the ground running. You were so good immediately. I was rooting so much for you guys.

• 1:04:01Speaker 05

  Such a good character.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  Damn, thanks.

• 1:04:03Dax Shepard?

  I love, I wanted he and Ru to be together.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:04:06Speaker 05

  Did you write that song?

• 1:04:07Speaker 02

  No, Labyrinth wrote that song. Sam had asked me to go write a song and I wrote one. I mean, I had like overdubs and I didn't know what he meant.

• 1:04:15Dax Shepard?

  Something that couldn't be done in a

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  He was saying, write a song on the guitar. So then I get this song Labyrinth makes and it's gorgeous.

• 1:04:21Speaker 05

  It's gorgeous.

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  I'll sing that.

• 1:04:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, was it hardened? Yeah, this is pretty solid.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  The song that I wrote for it is still good, though. I listen to it sometimes.

• 1:04:31Speaker 05

  Okay, great.

• 1:04:32Dax Shepard?

  Well, I heard Pharrell getting interviewed by somebody at some conference and I was relieved to hear that Happy, that was like his 16th attempt at the theme song for that movie.

• 1:04:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, Happy Feet.

• 1:04:45Dax Shepard?

  For Happy Feet.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  Happy was a theme song for Happy Feet?

• 1:04:48Speaker 05

  Wait, this is not sounding right.

• 1:04:50Dax Shepard?

  No, it wasn't for Happy Feet.

• 1:04:51Speaker 02

  That was a theme song for them?

• 1:04:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it's for Despicable Me.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  That one?

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:59Speaker 05

  Despicable Me 2. Okay, got it.

• 1:05:01Dax Shepard?

  So the first album, he wrote all these hits, goes away to do the second one. And every time he submits, they're like, that's not it.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  I've been there.

• 1:05:08Dax Shepard?

  It's such a relief, I would imagine, for people to know that Pharrell sometimes has to stand up at the plate 16 times. And that's why he's Pharrells. He didn't go, well, no, I'm better than this.

• 1:05:17Speaker 05

  The end of that story, I think, is that he basically said, no more.

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  No more.

• 1:05:22Speaker 05

  Like, I've done it this many times.

• 1:05:24Dax Shepard?

  But he came up with Happy.

• 1:05:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26Dax Shepard?

  And he's like, well, this is it.

• 1:05:27Speaker 05

  This is it and we're not doing it again.

• 1:05:29Dax Shepard?

  And then specifically, he told the president of the studio, I need you to drive around in your car and listen to it.

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:05:35Dax Shepard?

  Something about driving around in the car.

• 1:05:39Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:05:46Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends, docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go, from the makers of Grammarly, is different. It's already right there, inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it. It's already working alongside you. You're deep in a long thread, highlight it, and it pulls the key. Points about to send something important. It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands.

• 1:06:31Dax Shepard?

  It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com. We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 1:07:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 1:07:35Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram is helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 1:07:54Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts. We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace and I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic and Peloton helps you feel all of that. And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere, whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic.

• 1:08:39Dax Shepard?

  Plus they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving. Let yourself run. Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 1:08:52Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Walden University. You know that feeling when you've been thinking about making a move, going after the degree, the promotion, the thing you keep telling yourself you'll get to someday? Walden University is built for that moment. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working professionals get the W, the knowledge, the skills, and the confidence to create real change in their careers and communities. Their programs are designed around your life, not the other way around. With Tempo Learning, available in select programs, there are no rigid schedules or set weekly deadlines. You move at your own pace. And Walden's faculty aren't just academics. They're practitioners who bring real-world experience into everything they teach. From your first class to career coaching and beyond,

• 1:09:37Dax Shepard?

  Walden is your partner the whole way. Take the first step and learn at a pace that works for you. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by CHEF.

• 1:09:58Speaker 02

  You realize when you work in music, all these dudes are super normal dudes and they're just like you and I. This Danny Elfman dude is just like the Omar Apollo dude sitting next to me. The only difference is, is this dude was down to do 15 tries of it for 15 plus years, every day. That's the only thread that I find connecting all the people that I admire. It's not that this person drinks this type of water or this person wakes up and shits excellence genetically. It's that this person just didn't fucking stop.

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  That's so true.

• 1:10:24Dax Shepard?

  I heard you say that you were almost kicked off the show a bit for your drug use. What was the consumption at this point?

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  Doing a lot of coke and a lot of weed. Great stuff.

• 1:10:36Dax Shepard?

  Smells so good.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  Smells great.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  It must be hard for you though, because if everyone's like, you're doing so good and you weren't. That character's incredible. How then do you?

• 1:10:46Dax Shepard?

  What's broken? Why am I fixing something?

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  Again, same with you go to jail and then you get $4 million. How do you right-size that and say, no, I really need to get my act together because your act is working?

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it was kind of like if a dude gets like a cool cut on his arm and then they put a Band-Aid on and the Band-Aid's like. Transformers. I was like, what do you mean? I'm doing great. Transformers Band-Aid. But then you take it off and there's a fucking gash in your arm. That's kind of what it was. All this money. This is a temporary fix for something that I need to actually go and heal. I would kind of be better about going on camera. Super fucked up. Like I would space it out like my weed would be like 50 minutes. I put eye drops in. The thing about getting fucked up on set was like, people imagine that I'm just constantly talking to Sam and Zendaya and Hunter fucked up. I was in my trailer bored all the time. You fucking know, it's in suffer.

• 1:11:33Dax Shepard?

  It's a boring job.

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  All day. And then at the drop of a, you know, you gotta be there. That was the funny part is when you are in the middle of doing something and they're like, you're on at five.

• 1:11:39Dax Shepard?

  Mac, mac.

• 1:11:42Dax Shepard?

  You were signed on for a season three. Is there a season three of that show ever? No.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I actually just did some of it.

• 1:11:49Dax Shepard?

  There is a season three.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're filming it. I was just talking to Hunter. She's filming it.

• 1:11:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I was afraid.

• 1:11:53Speaker 02

  Nah, they're going hard.

• 1:11:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good. I love that show.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  Rosalie is in it, I know.

• 1:11:58Speaker 01

  It's such a good show. It's such a harrowing show.

• 1:12:02Dax Shepard?

  A good friend of mine is on that show, Dane.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  Eric, he's going through some, I saw some shit about that.

• 1:12:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's heartbreaking.

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  It's crazy because when I met him, he's like a superhero.

• 1:12:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, totally. Heartbreaking. Okay, when you sang to her.

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  People hated that scene.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:12:20Dax Shepard?

  Who did?

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  You didn't see me get roasted on the internet for that?

• 1:12:22Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  The whole internet just blew up about me doing that.

• 1:12:26Dax Shepard?

  What were they mad about?

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  They're just like, why is this guy singing? I'm trying to see the rest of the characters' arcs because it was kind of at this point when everything was like.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Culminating.

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  Imploding. Yeah, the culmination of all this drama is happening right now. And then it cuts to me being like, you want to hear some shit I wrote?

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  No, it's beautiful.

• 1:12:41Dax Shepard?

  Time consuming?

• 1:12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Which is goes to show where we're at as humans.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's upsetting.

• 1:12:46Dax Shepard?

  More goes to show, it's like every conversation's happening and you have to find the ones that are bad, really. Because that in our world.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:12:56Dax Shepard?

  No one thought, I've never even heard that.

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  Away. And also, that's so dumb because it's also about her. It's a very human moment. Who wouldn't want to skip that?

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  No one was trying to see that. They were trying to see like Animal Kingdom.

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  The girls fighting with the hair. They wanted to see that. Have you seen the user interface? Have you seen Amazon lately? You ever just go into any streaming service? Do you see what it is? It's just like yacht murder. This person was discarded in the back of a fucking Popeyes and they used her as a rug for eight months. And here's the doc about it. That's all it is. And that's where you know where we're at as humans. Yeah, you're right. Before it was like Charlie Chaplin slipping on banana peels.

• 1:13:33Dax Shepard?

  Now, we outgrew that. We needed something more radical. Well, I can't be the first person that would compare you to him, but Mac Millard?

• 1:13:41Speaker 02

  A lot.

• 1:13:42Dax Shepard?

  That's gotta be a tremendous compliment, no?

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, it hurts though, because he's dead.

• 1:13:46Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 1:13:47Speaker 02

  You can take it a different way. I loved his music and I felt like we were really close to working together. I'm managed by the same people who manage him. And I know a lot of his friends.

• 1:13:56Dax Shepard?

  Have you done a tiny desk?

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  I've not done a tiny desk. I was supposed to, but I didn't sleep the night before I was coked out. And so I missed it.

• 1:14:03Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right. These things happen.

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  They do.

• 1:14:07Dax Shepard?

  Where are we at with the drugs now?

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  Good.

• 1:14:08Dax Shepard?

  Was there an event? Was there anything exciting that was like, okay, these are getting more dangerous?

• 1:14:13Speaker 02

  Yes. You have a child. That was a big one.

• 1:14:16Dax Shepard?

  We would like that.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  We, yo, you know what's funny? That wasn't the thing.

• 1:14:19Dax Shepard?

  No, it's not. It's worse, it's worse.

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  I'm glad, that's honest, I'm glad.

• 1:14:23Dax Shepard?

  I've seen so many dudes in sobriety think that when their kid arrives, that's gonna be the, it's harder. More stress in your life.

• 1:14:28Speaker 02

  And you also get this thing, it's like, alright, well, he's one now. Maybe I got three more years of this. And then it's boom.

• 1:14:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he'll remember all these things. It's a fallacy to say there's a bottom, because I've had a dozen bottoms. But certainly I did have the profound moment looking in a mirror at a bar, trying to get well enough to make my flight, where I was just like, wow, man, you got everything you wanted and you're the most miserable you've ever been. What is broken?

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  Know that feeling.

• 1:14:52Dax Shepard?

  You got all the stuff now, so what is it?

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  Crazy feeling, that one.

• 1:14:56Dax Shepard?

  It's scary for me, because I was like, oh, if I get rich and I'm famous, I got no problem.

• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, you think that. And then it feels like a man on the edge of the world. When you're in that mirror, you're like, what?

• 1:15:07Dax Shepard?

  Why don't I like what I see?

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, what happened?

• 1:15:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's scary.

• 1:15:11Speaker 02

  It sucks.

• 1:15:11Dax Shepard?

  Then you gotta figure out what the fuck's broken.

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, man. I was in Paris for Fashion Week and getting after it. No shortage of drugs and women in Paris. I end up staying up too late. And I have to go to Rome for a weekend and a half. Supposed to be great. Rome's beautiful. This is the most miserable I've ever been. I'd run out of Xanax, which I'd been taking for like six months at this point. So I had like a psychotic breakdown. I didn't sleep for three days. I'm up screaming, crying, throwing shit at the walls, breaking things, screaming at people, calling people pedophiles.

• 1:15:40Dax Shepard?

  I was just gonna say, people know from watching movies that kicking dope is hard. I don't think people understand how absolutely horrendous kicking benzos is.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  It's the devil.

• 1:15:50Dax Shepard?

  Xanax and all the benzos, they seem so innocuous. It's like, oh yeah, take one.

• 1:15:53Speaker 02

  Cause everyone takes them.

• 1:15:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. But it's when you've taken them for 30 days straight and you're up in your dose, it fucks up your brain pretty severely.

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  People take them for years. And I look at it online, it's like you're supposed to take these for this amount of time max, or else it can be serious.

• 1:16:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:07Speaker 02

  I think I took them for six months. Getting off of them, I almost died. Having seizures, flashes, fucking all that. I'm freaking out. And then I just ruined this trip for everyone in Rome. And by the time we get back to LA, I'm like, okay, I'll stop doing it.

• 1:16:20Dax Shepard?

  Turns out I am fucked up.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  You go so long thinking that you kind of maybe can get it under control. And there's always this stretch of time when it really feels like you're doing it. And boy, does that ground come up fast.

• 1:16:30Dax Shepard?

  And you're in Rome and you should be happy and the people around you should be happy. And you're miserable and they're all miserable.

• 1:16:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:36Dax Shepard?

  How many times you go to treatment?

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  Like four.

• 1:16:38Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  I went to Cirque twice, Crossroads once, and then Seasons. I also did some recovery in jail to get out quicker.

• 1:16:43Dax Shepard?

  What's your favorite part of it and what's your least favorite part?

• 1:16:46Speaker 02

  My favorite part of it is, you know, what I was talking about with the dude that's your friend that kind of won't let you progress and change? You show up there and no one knows you, so you get to create this person. And then when you leave, you get to be that person because your friends even waiting back home, expect a little bit of change. Everyone gives you the grace to change at the same time, which rarely happens in life. It's always different times. Everyone's on a different schedule. When you go to treatment, you're a baby again. I love that part of it. And they give you the opportunity to change. You're like, you sure I can change? Right? Go ahead. And then you do, and it's amazing.

• 1:17:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:18Speaker 02

  I love that part. My least favorite part is, and there's no really bad things about it. If you look at it from, you're about to die.

• 1:17:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:24Speaker 02

  It's all great. But there's a couple of treatment centers that get a little clicky, which is human.

• 1:17:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  But I think if there is a way to eliminate that, which is funny because I'll be in the studio and I'll be like, I need a guy here to do hi hats, just do hi hats, but not talk, prefer like he doesn't eat or drink water. And they're like, so you want a human, but to erase his humanity.

• 1:17:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:44Dax Shepard?

  That would be ideal.

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:17:45Dax Shepard?

  It would be most efficient for me.

• 1:17:47Speaker 02

  It's kind of how I feel about rehab. I'm like, if we could just eliminate the human part of it, it'd be amazing.

• 1:17:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of parts I would have wanted to get rid of, like the god part. I'm like, oh, no.

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:17:58Dax Shepard?

  What are we doing here?

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  For some reason, that isn't a big thing to me because I like that challenge.

• 1:18:02Dax Shepard?

  Where I got to it was like, you're so bogged down in the logic of it all as opposed to, this is an act of humility. You lack humility. You need some fucking humility and you need to ask for help and avail yourself to help. And that is one act of doing that. And even more so if you don't believe in it. So I'm like, oh, I get it. It's even cooler test for me. I gotta be that humble to participate in something I don't necessarily believe in otherwise. I think that's good.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  Saintly.

• 1:18:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you gonna act more other than euphoria?

• 1:18:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I want to act more. I've been busy with music, but I'd love to act more. I have an acting agent, agency as well.

• 1:18:39Dax Shepard?

  I bet you're very represented.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  I'm busy. I'm away for months at a time. The kid. I'm down to do more acting.

• 1:18:45Dax Shepard?

  Some musician just told us, it was a female. She said, there's this illusion that you can do both, but you absolutely can't. Like to promote, you have to record it and to promote it properly.

• 1:18:54Speaker 01

  Oh, it was um, blonde, beautiful.

• 1:18:57Dax Shepard?

  I don't even know who you're talking about.

• 1:18:59Speaker 02

  Just describing her in porn categories, like ivory.

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  She's ebony.

• 1:19:05Dax Shepard?

  You're like the driven snow.

• 1:19:06Speaker 01

  Everyone was crying.

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  Dove Cameron?

• 1:19:07Speaker 01

  Dove.

• 1:19:08Dax Shepard?

  Dove.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  Dove Cameron. Dove said that.

• 1:19:10Dax Shepard?

  You have a similar vibe.

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  Musicians?

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  Musicians, baby. Yeah, did you get along with Zendaya?

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Was that fun?

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  Zendaya's great. She's very much Michael Jordan.

• 1:19:19Dax Shepard?

  Okay, but let me ask you this, because you're kind of a scumbag like me.

• 1:19:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:24Dax Shepard?

  And I look at her as like a goody-goody.

• 1:19:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:26Dax Shepard?

  I would have been so triggered by like, I bet she thinks I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  So funny. That is why I really just wanted to skip over this part of it. I was just like, I already know. Any mention of her name, I don't know, if she sees it, she would look at me like, oh, I already know.

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:19:41Speaker 02

  I knew who I was on that set. And I think that kind of affected the way people felt about me, too.

• 1:19:46Dax Shepard?

  But again, it's a little bit of that self-protection.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  Exactly. It's like, I already know I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:51Dax Shepard?

  I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  You can't knock me any lower. But they can.

• 1:19:54Dax Shepard?

  I'm not taking this serious, but I am.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  She probably has more grace for you than you.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  Maybe, yeah, I'd imagine. She's great.

• 1:20:00Dax Shepard?

  Tom Holland maybe is a secret scumbag. We'll find out, which would be great. I hear he's the coolest.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  I actually like him. He's funny. We hung out a couple of times. One night, I'm not even fucking with you. I go out to this bar. I'm with Tom Holland for some reason. Tobey Maguire's there. It's just me, Tobey Maguire, and Tom Holland.

• 1:20:16Dax Shepard?

  To the Spider-Man.

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  To fucking Spider-Man.

• 1:20:18Dax Shepard?

  I'm just realizing the connection here.

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  And I'm just, between them both, I was like, dude, this is awesome. Like, literally like this. And I'm like, can you guys do the meme? And they both did the Spider-Man meme.

• 1:20:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:20:29Speaker 02

  And they were all just like, ah! That's exactly what you're saying. It's awesome.

• 1:20:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's a delight to meet you.

• 1:20:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  Thanks for coming.

• 1:20:39Dax Shepard?

  As I said, you're even cuter in person.

• 1:20:40Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me. I've never done a podcast.

• 1:20:42Speaker 01

  This is your first podcast?

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  And I watch them a lot.

• 1:20:45Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna guess your favorite. I get one guess. I'm gonna guess your favorite. Theo.

• 1:20:50Speaker 02

  I love Theo.

• 1:20:51Dax Shepard?

  Not your favorite?

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  No, come, city or whatever.

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  Well, MSSP really is good. Matt and Shane's secret podcast?

• 1:20:57Dax Shepard?

  M.S.

• 1:20:58Speaker 02

  MSSP. Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker have a podcast together.

• 1:21:01Dax Shepard?

  I love Shane Gillis.

• 1:21:02Speaker 02

  It's great. It's good to sleep to. But like I said, this one's really great.

• 1:21:05Dax Shepard?

  Thank you. We're gonna keep at it for a little while longer.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  It's a good thing y'all got going.

• 1:21:08Dax Shepard?

  Please make that fucking season three of Euphoria. I love it so much.

• 1:21:12Speaker 01

  It's on you.

• 1:21:13Dax Shepard?

  Call everyone and go like, let's pick up the fucking pace. We don't need 10 hours.

• 1:21:16Speaker 02

  What are you guys doing? They're like filming it? All right.

• 1:21:19Dax Shepard?

  Well, could you go faster?

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:21Dax Shepard?

  All right, brother. Well, great meeting you.

• 1:21:22Speaker 02

  Nice to meet you.

• 1:21:23Dax Shepard?

  And good luck with everything.

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  Thank you very much.

• 1:21:29Speaker 01

  It's cloudy out.

• 1:21:36Dax Shepard?

  Is it?

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  To me.

• 1:21:37Dax Shepard?

  Are you sure?

• 1:21:39Dax Shepard?

  We were just outside, it felt sunny.

• 1:21:41Speaker 01

  When I woke up, it was cloudy and then the weather app said cloudy all day.

• 1:21:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  And you're right, we were outside and it didn't seem cloudy.

• 1:21:49Dax Shepard?

  It felt bright, a little bright.

• 1:21:51Speaker 01

  But in my heart.

• 1:21:52Dax Shepard?

  It's still cloudy. This is um, my argument against sleep data.

• 1:21:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I understand.

• 1:21:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I've already laid that out.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:01Dax Shepard?

  It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  Yes, I'm with you.

• 1:22:05Dax Shepard?

  You need to do a sleep study, cool. You need to find out what's going on.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Dax Shepard?

  But just waking up every morning and having a device tell you basically the limits of how good your day can be.

• 1:22:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree. I, I, I'm, I'm against that.

• 1:22:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so I think that happened with the weather app. It was like you woke up, it was cloudy and then you're like, and it's gonna be cloudy all day. And then you click into that gear.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:26Dax Shepard?

  We've had really weird weather this summer and going into fall, and I'm very grateful for it.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  Yes, notoriously, Los Angeles is at peak heat in September.

• 1:22:40Dax Shepard?

  Yep, in the beginning of October.

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  And it's scorching.

• 1:22:43Dax Shepard?

  It's always over a hundred.

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:44Dax Shepard?

  It's miserable.

• 1:22:45Speaker 01

  Heat waves nonstop.

• 1:22:46Dax Shepard?

  Can't keep up with anything. You're damn near dead in your apartment with one fucking window unit in your kitchen.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:53Dax Shepard?

  But, also, another thing that won't interest anyone is we have a season, which is marine layer season. End of spring, early summer is marine layer. So all the way to like one or two in the afternoon, it's always overcast, which keeps the heat down in June. It's nice. But we've been in marine layer almost all of September.

• 1:23:14Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:23:15Dax Shepard?

  Which is interesting. And then it also said it was gonna pour today, right?

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  It did?

• 1:23:19Dax Shepard?

  Said it was 80% chance it was gonna rain, but that didn't happen. Cause I keep looking out my bedroom window on the second floor down at the roof of the guest house and there's so many leaves in the gutter and I go, ah, I gotta leave, blow those out before the rain comes. And then I was like, it's coming Wednesday, I gotta get, and then I went over to the store, I didn't do the leaves, but then it broke.

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  So maybe you. It's the sim because it's like, oh, he's not ready yet. He hasn't done the leaves. So we have to hold off on the rain.

• 1:23:47Dax Shepard?

  That's nice. So maybe the whole state will be like, please clean up your leaves. We need rain.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Um, I'm good.

• 1:23:53Dax Shepard?

  We need rain because it's fire season.

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  You're right. You're right. Uh, Marine Layer, shout out gray clothing brand.

• 1:24:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, I have some Marine Layer.

• 1:24:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, we used, our sweatshirts, old, if you have an old, uh, armchair expert Christmas, once a year limited edition sweatshirt.

• 1:24:11Dax Shepard?

  Christmas drop.

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  Chances are it was Marine Layer.

• 1:24:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:14Speaker 01

  Speaking of, not yet, but we will have a new merch.

• 1:24:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  Situation very soon. So keep your ears and eyes peeled for that.

• 1:24:25Dax Shepard?

  Monica's been using all of her style prowess to come up with a whole new set of designs.

• 1:24:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're working with a new company who, who's very well burst in merch.

• 1:24:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:36Speaker 01

  And we've all been working together to come up with some nice, basic pieces.

• 1:24:40Dax Shepard?

  Basics.

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  And, and I think they're going to be really cute. It's not, uh, I guess it's a little bit of a cock tease because it's not available yet, but it will be.

• 1:24:51Dax Shepard?

  I don't know that I, how often do you say cock tease? Is that new?

• 1:24:55Speaker 01

  No, I, I said it. Somebody listening, please go back into all the episodes and see how many times I've said it.

• 1:25:02Dax Shepard?

  Ask AI.

• 1:25:03Speaker 01

  I guess normally I say a tease, but I, it means cock tease.

• 1:25:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  Do you think I sound?

• 1:25:13Dax Shepard?

  There's rungs of the intensity. You could say, she's a tease. He's a tease. She's a dick tease. He's a dick tease.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  Never said that.

• 1:25:21Dax Shepard?

  She's a cock tease. That's like triple X, full blown, full throttle.

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  Dick tease sounds.

• 1:25:28Dax Shepard?

  Like dick cheese?

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't like the sounds of that. It's like onomatopoeia.

• 1:25:33Dax Shepard?

  I like it all. It sounds like someone's teasing it, right?

• 1:25:37Speaker 01

  But then they walk away.

• 1:25:38Dax Shepard?

  But then they walk away. But that's much better than nothing.

• 1:25:42Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 1:25:42Dax Shepard?

  The dick tease is always framed as something negative.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:46Dax Shepard?

  But I would way prefer some like teasing than to nothing.

• 1:25:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, people really act like it's the worst thing you could possibly.

• 1:25:54Dax Shepard?

  Blue balls.

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  Blue balls, exactly. It's kind of a patriarchy thing because it's like these women, they come and they just like tease and they tend to their sirens and then they walk away and then these poor men have these huge balls that turn blue.

• 1:26:09Dax Shepard?

  Also, we just had a guest on whose mother was like, you gotta, oh, it was that terrible doc we watch.

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  Oh. The hoarder? No, the, the, the unknown number.

• 1:26:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, although did we have someone?

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:23Dax Shepard?

  Also, the mom with the hoarders. Her mom was telling her, like, you gotta jerk these guys off.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. She was, and she gave her a vibrator for Christmas in front of her brother and dad.

• 1:26:33Dax Shepard?

  Father, yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, maybe that woman had a little bit of munchausen, but just didn't have the internet.

• 1:26:40Dax Shepard?

  Didn't have, was too lazy to pull it all off.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:44Dax Shepard?

  Didn't have the gum.

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  Well, she had hoarding also, I mean, she had a lot to handle.

• 1:26:46Dax Shepard?

  She had a lot going on.

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  Although that unknown number lady, when we see her house because of the body cam, it doesn't look organized.

• 1:26:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it doesn't look, it didn't look bad, though.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  Really? I felt like it looked wrong.

• 1:26:59Dax Shepard?

  I was expecting to see something.

• 1:27:01Speaker 01

  Worse.

• 1:27:01Dax Shepard?

  Worse. Yeah, I had my expectations very low. Yeah.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  I wonder if people have watched it since we've talked about it. Great doc.

• 1:27:10Dax Shepard?

  I went to the Emmys.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  Yes, you did, I wrote that down, tell us.

• 1:27:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Uh, yeah, I went to the Emmys. We also went to this party called the Night Before Party, which raises money for the MPFT Fund.

• 1:27:24Speaker 01

  Okay, that's motion pictures, arts and sciences, television.

• 1:27:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we haven't been in probably 12 years.

• 1:27:32Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:27:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the last time we went was the time that we were hanging out with Amy and Tina. And the next day we were on a walk and Kristen's just said, I'm just not funny.

• 1:27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Dax Shepard?

  I'm like, well, if you.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  Well, that was a long time ago.

• 1:27:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it was like, I think it was at least 12 years ago, maybe, maybe more before Lincoln.

• 1:27:50Speaker 01

  Before I was even born.

• 1:27:51Dax Shepard?

  We went because the beautiful Adam Scott and his wife Naomi were official hosts of it.

• 1:27:55Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:27:56Dax Shepard?

  And.

• 1:27:57Speaker 01

  Friend of the pod.

• 1:27:57Dax Shepard?

  Friend of the pod, friend, just real life friends, we just adore those two. And, uh, yeah, so we went and that was, uh, it was fun.

• 1:28:09Dax Shepard?

  And.

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:28:13Dax Shepard?

  I was reminded, I have the same anxiety of any function with a lot of people, which is like, you're gonna see a lot of people you like, and then you're not gonna be able to really talk to them. You're gonna have like, three minutes of small talk, which is not my favorite, and then someone else is gonna walk through that everyone knows, and then we're gonna start the cycle all over again.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  I hate this too.

• 1:28:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so it was really fun to see everyone that I watch on TV, that part was fun.

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:39Dax Shepard?

  I did get to chat with Ben Stiller for a while.

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:28:41Dax Shepard?

  And that was fun.

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  Friend of the pod.

• 1:28:43Dax Shepard?

  Friend of the pod, and I'm a friend of his pod.

• 1:28:46Speaker 01

  I feel his sweat. It's on me. He was really sweating then.

• 1:28:52Dax Shepard?

  We had a.

• 1:28:54Dax Shepard?

  Monica's sitting on the exact same spot that our guest who just left was sitting, and he's very sexy.

• 1:29:00Speaker 01

  He is very sexy.

• 1:29:01Dax Shepard?

  A sex machine.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:03Dax Shepard?

  And you're now in his sweat. Do you kinda like it?

• 1:29:05Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:29:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I bet.

• 1:29:07Speaker 01

  I don't smell it, which is cool.

• 1:29:09Dax Shepard?

  You just feel it.

• 1:29:10Speaker 01

  His sweat doesn't smell.

• 1:29:11Dax Shepard?

  His sweat's a back tease.

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  Makes sense, cuz.

• 1:29:15Dax Shepard?

  You're getting a back tease right now.

• 1:29:16Speaker 01

  This person has to sweat a lot for their job, or did.

• 1:29:19Dax Shepard?

  They work in a steel mill.

• 1:29:20Speaker 01

  And so his sweat is evolved, where it's just, it's just releasing water to keep cool, but it's not stinky at all.

• 1:29:28Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:29:29Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:29:30Dax Shepard?

  So then, then you got the Emmys the next day.

• 1:29:33Speaker 01

  Wait, I wanna say on the party for a second.

• 1:29:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, great.

• 1:29:35Speaker 01

  Okay, cuz parties, these parties.

• 1:29:37Dax Shepard?

  These parties.

• 1:29:38Speaker 01

  They're fascinating.

• 1:29:40Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  And I think they're relatable to anyone as an adult going to a party, where you don't know people, or you kind of know people, or you know some people, you're trying to figure out how to maneuver through, and you don't wanna be by yourself, and it's all very fascinating, mixed with, it's actually like being at a high school party, because there's popular kids, and there's crushes, and there's like, all these dynamics going on.

• 1:30:08Dax Shepard?

  Lot of dynamics.

• 1:30:09Speaker 01

  There was a Netflix Emmy party after. The Emmys Day of, um, that Anna went to.

• 1:30:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  And she didn't get a plus one.

• 1:30:20Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:21Speaker 01

  Or, yeah, she didn't get one and then she didn't ask for one, which mistake. You, you got to.

• 1:30:25Dax Shepard?

  I always am the plus one, so I don't know the rules. But that's what you do if you get invited, you ask for a plus one?

• 1:30:30Speaker 01

  You are married. So if you-

• 1:30:32Dax Shepard?

  I'm the plus one.

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  No, either way, either you're the plus one or she's the plus one.

• 1:30:37Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:30:38Speaker 01

  There's no, like, issues.

• 1:30:40Dax Shepard?

  It's just built in.

• 1:30:41Speaker 01

  It's built in.

• 1:30:42Dax Shepard?

  If you're inviting Kristen, you have to invite me.

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  And, and vice versa. If you're a single person, you kind of have to make sure you ask for a plus one at events.

• 1:30:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:51Speaker 01

  Which I've learned over time.

• 1:30:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  So she went, um, and she was like so, like for like a week, she was so excited about this party.

• 1:31:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good.

• 1:31:03Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Also, Anna, our friend, is so fun, right?

• 1:31:06Dax Shepard?

  She's the funnest person.

• 1:31:07Speaker 01

  Loves a party.

• 1:31:08Dax Shepard?

  She's always in a great mood. She's got a zest for life.

• 1:31:11Speaker 01

  She's just ready to, she's just gonna say yes to anything. She'll do anything.

• 1:31:15Dax Shepard?

  She's so fun.

• 1:31:16Speaker 01

  She is normally my plus one because of that, because she'll always say yes.

• 1:31:19Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:31:20Speaker 01

  And then she's just easy at the place.

• 1:31:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:22Speaker 01

  So she was so excited and, and I had this sort of feeling, like, God, I mean, Anna's, of all people, she can like handle a party by herself.

• 1:31:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, this is, if anyone could pull this off, it would be her.

• 1:31:37Speaker 01

  For some reason, I had this, I was like, I don't know why I don't, I feel like this like might not go very well. I, I didn't, and I didn't want to say that or anything.

• 1:31:47Dax Shepard?

  Jinx her or yuck her, yeah.

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. And also at one point she was like, I wish you could come. I was like, yeah, this gets complicated. Because I, of course, want to be embraced and invited to things and it's lovely. It's so nice.

• 1:31:59Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:32:00Speaker 01

  However, I am not a person-

• 1:32:03Dax Shepard?

  That feels super comfortable going to a party without-

• 1:32:05Speaker 01

  Needing to be there.

• 1:32:06Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 1:32:07Speaker 01

  Yes. Like, I don't want to just be invited to a party unless I'm- In a show that's represented there, or I'm like, obviously I went to the SAG party because I was a part of that show.

• 1:32:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:18Speaker 01

  Things like that, but I'm not interested in just like going to a party to see and be seen.

• 1:32:23Dax Shepard?

  Crashing a party, kinda.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:32:25Dax Shepard?

  Although you do want to go to the US Open and see and be seen.

• 1:32:28Speaker 01

  Of course, but that's like fun.

• 1:32:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:32:30Speaker 01

  That's, that's watching tennis.

• 1:32:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:33Speaker 01

  And I'm obviously bringing a plus one.

• 1:32:35Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  Anyway, but even that, like, no, I would not want to go by myself.

• 1:32:40Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  Even if I was invited, I would feel so uncomfortable.

• 1:32:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:43Speaker 01

  It's uncomfortable.

• 1:32:44Dax Shepard?

  You feel like a loser.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  I know, and you shouldn't.

• 1:32:46Dax Shepard?

  You shouldn't.

• 1:32:47Speaker 01

  You should feel great.

• 1:32:48Dax Shepard?

  We've talked about this. I used to go to eat all the time by myself and I loved it. I didn't give a fuck. I was like, I think many people are like, that guy's pretty cool. He doesn't care you.

• 1:32:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:57Dax Shepard?

  And being recognized has made me feel a little less comfortable. I'm now back to enjoying it.

• 1:33:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:03Dax Shepard?

  But I do feel like people will go like, well, that guy must actually be a loser because he should have a friend.

• 1:33:09Speaker 01

  No, I think that's.

• 1:33:10Dax Shepard?

  He's on TV and doesn't have a friend.

• 1:33:13Speaker 01

  That's not the same thing as a party.

• 1:33:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay, alright, alright, okay.

• 1:33:16Speaker 01

  Um, I love going.

• 1:33:18Dax Shepard?

  No, I was more US Tennis Open.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:33:20Dax Shepard?

  There I would feel like, people would be like, why is that?

• 1:33:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:33:24Dax Shepard?

  That guy's on TV, why is he by himself?

• 1:33:25Speaker 01

  That's more adjacent to a party.

• 1:33:28Dax Shepard?

  Right, okay.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Oh, there's so many layers. So, yeah, anyway, all to say, she goes to this party.

• 1:33:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:34Speaker 01

  She's there for like 10 minutes and I start getting texts.

• 1:33:38Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  Oh no, no one's here, like, no one from the show is there. Or some, some people were there, but they were not talking to her.

• 1:33:47Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh, uh huh.

• 1:33:47Speaker 01

  I'm standing at this table by myself and I said, well, go sit at the table. And she was like, no, I feel better just standing at the stand-up table.

• 1:33:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  And, you know, and she was like, and I'm gonna have to drink, I'm gonna have to keep going to the bar because I feel comfortable, you know, these things that start happening. And I thought, I was like.

• 1:34:04Dax Shepard?

  You start getting very self-conscious.

• 1:34:05Speaker 01

  So self-conscious.

• 1:34:07Dax Shepard?

  You start feeling like, oh, I'm leaning on this thing. Does that look right?

• 1:34:10Speaker 01

  This is leaning.

• 1:34:11Dax Shepard?

  Should I have my hand in my pocket?

• 1:34:12Speaker 01

  Do losers lean?

• 1:34:13Dax Shepard?

  You almost like short circuit as a robot.

• 1:34:15Speaker 01

  You do, and it's so, um, human and.

• 1:34:19Dax Shepard?

  Relatable.

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  Relatable. It's like going to a wedding by yourself and you're just standing at the stand-up table.

• 1:34:28Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  And like hoping, ah, I just think like, I'm too old to do this ever. I went to, oh, I went to a birthday party recently that was. Sort of like this and I hadn't felt it in so long. I'll I'll shout it out. It was Ashley who owns all. No, but ding ding ding. Um, Elizabeth Olsen was at this party.

• 1:34:52Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. So Ashley from All Time had a birthday party and it was in this like cute side room at All Time. And I don't know why, I didn't even think twice. I was like, oh, it'll be, this is fun. I'll just pop in.

• 1:35:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:06Speaker 01

  I got there and I was immediately, I was like, what have I done?

• 1:35:10Dax Shepard?

  It's an immediate feeling, yeah.

• 1:35:11Speaker 01

  Okay, first things first.

• 1:35:12Dax Shepard?

  And now you're like, I gotta walk out of here, but that's gonna be awkward. I've gotta like save face and spend 10 minutes here.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:35:19Dax Shepard?

  It's all gonna go downhill once you feel that way.

• 1:35:21Speaker 01

  And those 10 minutes are 40 hours because you're figuring out, at least, okay, first I'll go get a drink. That takes some time.

• 1:35:28Dax Shepard?

  Then I'm gonna act like I'm going to the bathroom, but I'm gonna leave then.

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  No, I don't, I didn't leave. I couldn't leave. Like, I had to at least stay to engage with her, but she's obviously talking to people.

• 1:35:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:40Speaker 01

  And then I'm like looking around like, who do I know? Oh, I kind of know that girl. But she's in conversation. And so I'm kinda like, you know, you're kinda like.

• 1:35:48Dax Shepard?

  Saddling up next to.

• 1:35:49Speaker 01

  Yep, you're you're doing that or you're kind of trying to get in their eye line and like, hi. So that they'll like ignore whoever they're talking to to talk to you. Why would they do that? So they're kind of, they kind of just nod to acknowledge you and then you're still standing there with your wine.

• 1:36:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:04Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, it was so bad.

• 1:36:06Dax Shepard?

  It's kinda crazy that being a social primate, that we do all feel that. I mean, I guess what that's what we're feeling is like, oh, there's a group and we're not in it.

• 1:36:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:16Dax Shepard?

  It's very uncomfortable.

• 1:36:18Speaker 01

  It was so uncomfortable and it is so, the human brain is so interesting. Depending on your um, place and time and where you, your location.

• 1:36:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:31Speaker 01

  Places you feel comfortable versus places you don't. It was so wild. Finally, my friend Mara came. She just happened to be there. Mara Rozak, incredible hairstylist. Shout out, uh, Rose Hair Products. They're great. A lot of people reached out about that towel I talked about because my hair was looking so good. It's sold out, but they are gonna maybe bring it back for the holidays.

• 1:36:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:36:57Speaker 01

  So, thank God. Thank God Mara walked in and I beelined. And I was like, you're not getting, like, you're mine now.

• 1:37:08Dax Shepard?

  You're now on a date with me.

• 1:37:09Speaker 01

  Yes, that's right. And, um, poor her. She had to talk to me for a long time.

• 1:37:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  Um, I did speak to Elizabeth Olsen.

• 1:37:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Deco, did you?

• 1:37:19Speaker 01

  That was fun.

• 1:37:20Dax Shepard?

  I've never met her.

• 1:37:22Speaker 01

  She was really, really nice. Uh, this is also funny. I was like, whoa, does she notice?

• 1:37:29Dax Shepard?

  That you're in head to toe row?

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:37:31Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:37:32Speaker 01

  And it actually, my shirt wasn't, but my pants and my bag were.

• 1:37:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:36Speaker 01

  And I was like, the, for the first time, I was like, I wish I wasn't.

• 1:37:40Dax Shepard?

  You felt silly.

• 1:37:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:42Speaker 01

  I was like, this is like your sister's, I'm dumb. I gotta die. I wanna go die. Like, I'm wearing your sister's clothes.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  You're like, who is this person? Why do I have to talk to Mara? Why are you talking to her? And then you find yourself talking about such, like, small talk is...

• 1:38:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's, uh, it's uncomfortably inane. It's like, it's like, eh, yeah, you've, your soul feels like it's, uh, getting sundered.

• 1:38:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I think in that conversation, I, I tried to bring up perimenopause.

• 1:38:16Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:38:17Speaker 01

  It felt like...

• 1:38:18Dax Shepard?

  Like you were forcing it?

• 1:38:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:21Dax Shepard?

  It wasn't on anyone's mind.

• 1:38:22Speaker 01

  It was gonna be a good entree in these three women who were talking about hormones. And I was like, oh, well. And then I was like, I was about to say, on my show. But I was like, I can't say on my show. She's gonna be like, what, what show?

• 1:38:38Dax Shepard?

  You got a show?

• 1:38:39Speaker 01

  What podcast?

• 1:38:41Dax Shepard?

  Please don't tell me about your podcast.

• 1:38:43Speaker 01

  Exactly. It was so scary.

• 1:38:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:46Speaker 01

  Anyway, so parties are hard.

• 1:38:48Dax Shepard?

  Parties are hard. They are hard.

• 1:38:53Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:38:59Dax Shepard?

  We get support from ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruiting. So I went down this rabbit hole the other day on real holiday jobs that exist and I couldn't stop. Somebody out there is hiring a ham glazer, a professional ham glazer. Another place is hiring a lead elf, implying a whole hierarchy of elves I had never even considered. Here's the thing, these jobs need real skills. People like that are hard to find. Whether you're hiring for one of these roles or any other role, the best way to find qualified people who are genuinely excited about your role is on ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/dax. Plus ZipRecruiter has a new feature that shows you the most interested qualified candidates first.

• 1:39:44Dax Shepard?

  So you meet the right people faster. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Let ZipRecruiter find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/dax. At ziprecruiter.com/dax, meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 1:40:13Dax Shepard?

  So we left there, then we went to the big event itself.

• 1:40:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:16Dax Shepard?

  And they had a really heightened security.

• 1:40:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I see.

• 1:40:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there were snipers on the roof and stuff, different roofs.

• 1:40:24Speaker 01

  I'm glad.

• 1:40:24Dax Shepard?

  But it made getting in like really quite crazy.

• 1:40:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:30Dax Shepard?

  Like we're, there was definitely a moment where I was like, do, should we get out and walk the remaining half mile?

• 1:40:36Speaker 01

  Kristen and I did that one year.

• 1:40:37Dax Shepard?

  Did you?

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's not sorted all that well. And I was like, are we gonna miss? And I think her category was like second up or something.

• 1:40:45Speaker 01

  I was getting so panicked because I'm watching the E.

• 1:40:48Dax Shepard?

  And we were nowhere.

• 1:40:49Speaker 01

  Carpet to get you guys. And I'm like, time is a ticking. I haven't seen them. What's going on?

• 1:40:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we walked around the whole side of that whole thing. We never were even on the right carpet. We can't, kind of came in the side.

• 1:41:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:01Dax Shepard?

  And got there in the nick of time. And I don't know why I had a memory of them having some great green room with a lot of snacks. So I was like, I'm gonna be fine.

• 1:41:12Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:41:13Dax Shepard?

  And then, you know, I'm like, oh, I'm hungry. And she's like, yeah, I'm hungry too. Okay, after your category, let's go to the green room. So we go to the green room, Slim fucking Pickens. There was nothing there. I think I ate like seven pieces of mortadello ham.

• 1:41:27Speaker 01

  Oh, sure.

• 1:41:27Dax Shepard?

  And that's all there really was.

• 1:41:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:41:29Dax Shepard?

  And I ate it all. That was it.

• 1:41:31Speaker 01

  Oh, you save, you save none for everyone?

• 1:41:34Dax Shepard?

  I was in a desperate situation.

• 1:41:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:41:37Dax Shepard?

  And then I, um, when she went away to go do the Ted and Mary presentation, I knew I had a few.

• 1:41:46Speaker 01

  Minutes?

• 1:41:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like a few awards. I had a little buffer.

• 1:41:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:41:50Dax Shepard?

  So I'm like, I'm gonna go out to the lobby. And I, I was gonna be conservative. I was like, I'm gonna go get a thing of popcorn. That'll tide me over. And that's, I can manage that. Just a couple kernels at a time, hide it on the ground.

• 1:42:03Speaker 01

  But a high choking probability, just, you know.

• 1:42:06Dax Shepard?

  Something to think about, I suppose, or in your teeth.

• 1:42:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:08Dax Shepard?

  But anyways, I got up there, they were sold completely out of popcorn. So I said, oh, fuck it, give me the nachos. Sold out of nachos. So I ended up with, uh, a huge hot dog, like a Snoopy special hot dog, like quarter pound hot dog. And a bag of Flamin' Hot, uh, Cheetos. And Skittles, which I don't eat sugar really. And I certainly am not eating Skittles if I'm gonna eat sugar. I'm gonna eat like a candy bar, chocolate.

• 1:42:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:36Dax Shepard?

  So I got back to the seat and I was just trying to be pretty quiet about it. Now I have an enormous tray of food. By the way, sincerely, none of this occurs to me for whatever reason. I just don't.

• 1:42:46Speaker 01

  You're, you're not thinking you're on TV.

• 1:42:48Dax Shepard?

  I don't think, oh, hey, guy, you're the only person in the first six rows with a tray of food on you.

• 1:42:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:55Dax Shepard?

  I literally don't even think about it. I was like, I'm hungry. I got nothing to do here. I'm not nominated. They're not cutting to me.

• 1:43:02Speaker 01

  Well, they might.

• 1:43:03Dax Shepard?

  So I'm, I'm pounding this hot dog. And, um, all of a sudden I hear, Dax, Dax. And I look over, I posted this video.

• 1:43:13Speaker 01

  Yes, I saw.

• 1:43:14Dax Shepard?

  And yes, Sarah Paulson's recording me and she. Friend of the pod. By the way, so many friends of the pod at this thing.

• 1:43:19Speaker 01

  That's so fun.

• 1:43:20Dax Shepard?

  Like, half the people are nominated. It was, it was, I really liked that.

• 1:43:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:26Dax Shepard?

  A lot. I just really liked it. I was like, everyone in this room is human.

• 1:43:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:43:30Dax Shepard?

  I've gotten to see everyone be human for two hours, and that's really cool. In the past, when I'd go to these things, there was all these different people, and I'm imagining what they are, and you know, and I'm applying status and stuff. But this was, I think, for the first time ever at a workshop, I was like, oh, is a room full of people?

• 1:43:45Speaker 01

  Yes, I love that.

• 1:43:47Dax Shepard?

  And I'm happy for them. It's really cool what they did. And then, and it's just really like a room full of people, and it was great. I'm like whispering to Seth Rogen, once, because I'm a huge fan of Tony Gilroy. He wrote and directed, um, Michael Clayton. He also wrote Andor.

• 1:44:04Speaker 01

  Oh, wow, yeah.

• 1:44:05Dax Shepard?

  So then I see the nomination for Andor, and it's for like, it's for Mike Gilroy. And I'm like, what, does Tony go by Mike? And then I like lean over, and I'm like, if there's one guy in this audience that'll know, it's Seth Rogen. This motherfucker knows every single thing about him. And you know, I'm like, Seth, does Tony have a brother? And he's like, yeah, two brothers. And then the brother, it was the brother that won, and then he mentioned the third brother, who's also right on the show. So this is so fun. I'm like getting info from him, and I'm staying dialed into what's going on. But anyways, so that hot dog thing happens.

• 1:44:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:36Dax Shepard?

  And then friend of a pod, Sam Rockwell, has left his seat and comes over and just goes, buddy, you killing that hot dog is the funniest thing. I've been watching you eat that hot dog.

• 1:44:47Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, the whole room.

• 1:44:47Dax Shepard?

  Now I realize everybody's been watching me eat this hot dog. And then Sam leaves, and I look at him to say goodbye, and then I catch eyes with Seth Rogen and Ike Barinolds. And Seth's like, you ate that thing like a cor- a corn on the cob.

• 1:45:03Dax Shepard?

  And I'm like, oh, I.

• 1:45:05Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:45:06Dax Shepard?

  Everybody there was watching me fucking pound this hot. Because I didn't want to eat the bun, so I was like eating it kind of crazy. And I had put a ton of ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise on it because I wanted more calories, because they didn't have any food for sale up there.

• 1:45:19Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:45:21Dax Shepard?

  I had a moment where I was like, oh, my God, I was being stared at by a lot of people.

• 1:45:25Speaker 01

  You were the jester.

• 1:45:27Dax Shepard?

  Accidentally, I was the jester. And I think if I saw me. I would think I was doing a bit, but I wasn't.

• 1:45:35Speaker 01

  Really? I don't know why, because I'm so.

• 1:45:37Dax Shepard?

  Well, now it's a pattern. This is why I would think that. Because the other time when I was watching the Lions game at the Golden Globes.

• 1:45:45Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:45:46Dax Shepard?

  On my phone.

• 1:45:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:47Dax Shepard?

  Again, I thought I was just having this very secret moment where no one knew I was looking down at my phone.

• 1:45:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:55Dax Shepard?

  And then Kristen had recorded me and posted and it became kind of a funny thing.

• 1:45:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I don't think the room was paying attention to you.

• 1:46:03Dax Shepard?

  But if I add up that little oopsies with this, now this hot dog gate. If I, and I was cynical, I didn't like me already, I'd be like, this guy's just, he's never nominated these things.

• 1:46:14Speaker 01

  Why is he there?

• 1:46:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, why is he there? Why does he go there and have to do something stupid each time?

• 1:46:20Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:46:21Dax Shepard?

  So I kind of had accidentally backed into another.

• 1:46:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:46:24Dax Shepard?

  Little thing.

• 1:46:25Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:46:26Dax Shepard?

  But it was, I was fine with it, of course.

• 1:46:28Speaker 01

  They sell food.

• 1:46:30Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:46:31Speaker 01

  So obviously people are, if it was all sold out, people ate.

• 1:46:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Well, I had seen. Oh, another fun thing I'll say is Chloe Sevigny was directly in front of me.

• 1:46:43Speaker 01

  She's so fashion.

• 1:46:45Dax Shepard?

  She's so fashion. She's so cool.

• 1:46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:46:47Dax Shepard?

  I don't know whether one time with my friend Leslie, and I just thought she was really cool, and I've always thought she was really cool. So when she was, she was nominated and when she didn't win and the other person came up and the second the camera was off her, because I didn't want anyone to see this, I slid her $20.

• 1:47:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:47:04Dax Shepard?

  Okay. And she turned around, she's like, what? She was laughing and then she was like, tried to give it back to me. I go, no, you must keep it because if people say, sorry, you lost, you go, oh, no, no, I won $20.

• 1:47:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:47:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's the one who had been sneakily eating some popcorn where I got the idea.

• 1:47:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. I imagine people have to eat.

• 1:47:22Dax Shepard?

  I guess the line was that popcorn. Before people were gonna look at you.

• 1:47:26Speaker 01

  Well, the nachos were eight, sold out.

• 1:47:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it must have been folks in the back.

• 1:47:31Speaker 01

  Or before the show started, maybe.

• 1:47:33Dax Shepard?

  Or in the breaks, when they, maybe they buy it in the lobby and eat it all in the lobby. But I carried this huge tray back to my seat. No one sent anything to me. There was ushers everywhere.

• 1:47:41Speaker 01

  Right. Wow. Yeah, that's funny. And, I mean.

• 1:47:45Dax Shepard?

  So now I guess I, I'm kinda pot committed to this. I am, now it is gonna have to become a bit, yeah. I'm gonna have to play like a trumpet in the middle of something. I know. I'm sorry, but what, that's my responsibility.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  As soon as it turns into on purpose, it's not, it's ugly. Yeah. And it's about you and attention and, and no.

• 1:48:05Dax Shepard?

  I actually feel confident I'll, I'll accidentally do more stuff.

• 1:48:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, just let yourself be.

• 1:48:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a, it was a good, it was a really good time and I, um,

• 1:48:16Dax Shepard?

  felt like kind of a moment of growth, which is like, I didn't feel better than anybody and I didn't feel less than anybody.

• 1:48:23Speaker 01

  Good, yes.

• 1:48:23Dax Shepard?

  It was a great feeling.

• 1:48:25Speaker 01

  This is the thing I'm always trying to tell you. Do you think maybe I'm just ahead of your time?

• 1:48:29Dax Shepard?

  Probably. You're probably way ahead of my time.

• 1:48:31Speaker 01

  We don't always, it's not always, status isn't always abound. And it does.

• 1:48:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, it always is. And then you participate in it sometimes or you don't.

• 1:48:40Speaker 01

  It doesn't have to be. It's the way you perceive it.

• 1:48:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you can, it's hard, but you can remove yourself from it.

• 1:48:48Speaker 01

  Write it down.

• 1:48:49Dax Shepard?

  But I didn't do anything to earn it. I just kinda felt that way, which was nice.

• 1:48:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, great. Well, I'm glad, I'm glad, better than fainting. Did you see some, one like,

• 1:49:01Speaker 01

  lady, it was some political thing, it was like her first day, maybe she was French or something, and she passed out. And there's video and it looks so scary.

• 1:49:12Dax Shepard?

  She making a speech?

• 1:49:14Speaker 01

  Like, they're all up there doing, yeah. Like, she wasn't in the middle of talking, somebody else was talking, but it was like four podiums. And then she just like, watching someone pass out is so weird.

• 1:49:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:26Speaker 01

  To see the human body just like give out, yeah, is very scary.

• 1:49:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:32Speaker 01

  And, um.

• 1:49:34Dax Shepard?

  You ever fainted?

• 1:49:35Speaker 01

  I, yeah, had this weird passing out thing, which then caused all this anxiety about passing out.

• 1:49:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:49:41Speaker 01

  Uh, but anyway.

• 1:49:42Dax Shepard?

  Cause you passed out on the bike, riding it at SoulCycle?

• 1:49:45Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:49:46Dax Shepard?

  When did you pass out?

• 1:49:47Speaker 01

  I passed out babysitting. It was a whole thing. And it was really scary. Um. It was while I worked at SoulCycle.

• 1:49:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, at a doll. Not like babysitting when you were a kid.

• 1:49:57Speaker 01

  No, no, no. It was during that time.

• 1:49:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:50:00Speaker 01

  Anywho, just watching someone's body give out, but and she she said low blood sugar. So like you could have passed out and it would have been so.

• 1:50:09Dax Shepard?

  What a dummy. I'm also too big.

• 1:50:10Speaker 01

  Exactly. You would have taken out so many.

• 1:50:13Dax Shepard?

  Dum dum. Like, oh, look at that big dumb guy fell over.

• 1:50:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. This big ogre fell.

• 1:50:19Dax Shepard?

  I have never fainted, thank God.

• 1:50:22Speaker 01

  I hope you don't.

• 1:50:23Dax Shepard?

  I feel confident I'm not gonna.

• 1:50:27Speaker 01

  Thank you. Um, speaking of fainting, bodies giving out, health stuff. Tell everyone the story you told me the other day.

• 1:50:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, okay, great. Yes. Another highlight. Thank you. Highlight. This was really just a highlight for you. I was excited to tell you.

• 1:50:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:50:44Dax Shepard?

  Um, I know Wiley was seated, I think, two rows behind me. So on one of my many trips to try to get food, I saw him and I kind of locked eyes with him. So I walked over and I introduced myself to him. I'm like, uh, hey, Noah, I'm I'm Dax. Nice to meet you. And he said, uh, oh, yeah, I was on your hayride this year. And I'm like, you were on my hayride? He goes, yeah, I was on the hayride last year.

• 1:51:07Speaker 01

  I can't.

• 1:51:07Dax Shepard?

  And I go, why didn't you say hi? And he goes, I don't know. You were driving. I don't I don't think you necessarily want me to say hi. And I'm like, well, I'm delighted you on there. And he said, he goes, man, you make some sharp turns. And I go, I'm so glad you say that. I only go through all the effort of doing it so that people will compliment me on how tight the course is. But he did. He he he couldn't wait to tell me how impressed he was with the turn into the alley.

• 1:51:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:51:35Dax Shepard?

  Isn't that great? I mean, it's hard for you, but it's great.

• 1:51:38Speaker 01

  You and it's about me. He was sitting next to me somehow, probably. And I didn't even know.

• 1:51:45Dax Shepard?

  He must have been full mask or something.

• 1:51:48Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:51:48Dax Shepard?

  And it's also, we had this with, we've had this with a couple of guests that were on the hayride that we don't know about.

• 1:51:54Speaker 01

  But no one's more exciting than Noah Wiley. No one's more exciting.

• 1:52:00Dax Shepard?

  It's extremely exciting, but I can think of a couple of people. Like if Jay-Z said he was on the hayride, I'm gonna be a little more excited.

• 1:52:07Speaker 01

  Okay, again, that's your preferences, okay? My preference is to be on the hayride.

• 1:52:13Dax Shepard?

  You gotta keep your eyes peeled this year.

• 1:52:14Speaker 01

  Yes. Do you think maybe he was one of the ones that came into the house that wasn't supposed to come into the house?

• 1:52:20Dax Shepard?

  He was like, hey, man, I took your hayride and I shit in your bathroom. I came for a free hamburger and I was like, oh, this place must be open to tour.

• 1:52:27Speaker 01

  It's very Amanda Knox.

• 1:52:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:29Speaker 01

  Anyway, I am delighted about this.

• 1:52:31Dax Shepard?

  It feels like a good start. And then I DM'd him to invite him on the show.

• 1:52:35Speaker 01

  Yes. I knew I smelled something really good on the hayride, but I never could identify it. And now, mystery solved, it was him.

• 1:52:44Dax Shepard?

  It was his pheromones.

• 1:52:46Speaker 01

  Now, did you consider telling him that we talk about the pit constantly on the show? Big fans, he comes up all the time. I want him to do surgery on my body.

• 1:52:59Dax Shepard?

  I did, I did consider saying, my co-host is obsessed with you and I hear about the pit all the time. And then I realized, they're being celebrated tonight, right? Like, me telling him someone's obsessed with the show felt extraneous in a given. Given the amount of acclaim they were receiving that night, it felt like, yeah, duh. Don't you see what's happening? We're winning every award. Everyone loves it.

• 1:53:23Speaker 01

  I think a line reading could have been.

• 1:53:27Dax Shepard?

  Okay. We'll start with, hey, I'm Dax.

• 1:53:30Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Hey, I'm Dax.

• 1:53:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Noah. Noah, nice to meet you. I was on your hayride.

• 1:53:35Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:53:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:37Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:53:38Dax Shepard?

  In your neighborhood, I was on your hayride. You were making those like crazy tight turns. Like, it was crazy.

• 1:53:42Speaker 01

  Oh, well, let's talk about my co-host.

• 1:53:47Speaker 01

  Thanks for the compliment, but she is obsessed with you.

• 1:53:51Dax Shepard?

  Your co-host of what?

• 1:53:53Speaker 01

  Oh, I have a podcast.

• 1:53:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, we're dead. See? We're dead in the water. Cause that could have happened.

• 1:54:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:54:00Dax Shepard?

  Now I'm explaining to him what a podcast is. Oh, Monica, you must acknowledge it's so high risk.

• 1:54:06Speaker 01

  No, it's not. And this is why I'm self-conscious. Okay? I know. And it's not a fair comparison.

• 1:54:17Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 1:54:21Speaker 01

  It's not a fair comparison and everyone's gonna be mad at me for saying this probably, but this is where my head's at.

• 1:54:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:54:26Speaker 01

  So I got to.

• 1:54:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:28Speaker 01

  Um, you have, you would have no problem saying Kristen's obsessed with your show.

• 1:54:36Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:54:37Speaker 01

  She loves it so much.

• 1:54:37Dax Shepard?

  Cause I know a hundred percent they know who Kristen is.

• 1:54:41Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:54:42Dax Shepard?

  I do not walk around assuming Noel Wiley knows I have a podcast called Armchair Expert. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't ever assume someone knows it.

• 1:54:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:54:52Dax Shepard?

  If they bring it up, I'd love to talk about it, but I never say my show, our show, this show, I don't ever do that.

• 1:55:03Dax Shepard?

  Cause I don't assume everyone knows.

• 1:55:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you could say, I have a podcast and my co-host is obsessed with me.

• 1:55:09Dax Shepard?

  That sounds terrible. I have a podcast?

• 1:55:11Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:55:12Dax Shepard?

  We already have agreed on this. We know it's embarrassing to say, I have a podcast. We already dealt with this. We were sitting at a table. It's at podcasts and we were embarrassed.

• 1:55:22Speaker 01

  So, but then you said the goal is to invite him on the podcast.

• 1:55:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:26Speaker 01

  So how are you gonna do that if you can't tell me I have one?

• 1:55:28Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna meet him. I'm gonna be nice and likeable and then his publicist is gonna pitch him. How every guest comes on this show.

• 1:55:35Speaker 01

  That's been happening, yeah.

• 1:55:36Dax Shepard?

  And he's gonna go, oh, I met the guy. He's pretty cool. I'd love to.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  His co-host is obsessed with me apparently and wants me to do surgery, so I'll definitely go on.

• 1:55:46Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 1:55:47Dax Shepard?

  Anywho, facts?

• 1:55:49Speaker 01

  Okie doke.

• 1:55:51Dax Shepard?

  Dominique Fike.

• 1:55:53Speaker 01

  I loved this episode.

• 1:55:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:56Speaker 01

  I really did. What a, um.

• 1:55:58Dax Shepard?

  He's got the MKG.

• 1:56:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:56:00Dax Shepard?

  You wanna, you really, I'm sure every woman who.

• 1:56:03Speaker 01

  MGK.

• 1:56:03Dax Shepard?

  MGK, MGK. I'm sure a lot of women wanna just protect him and take care of him.

• 1:56:10Speaker 01

  I mean, yes, and it's a little, it's a little, um, cliche, but I guess it's true. But also it's not. It's like, there's just something admirable about a person who has.

• 1:56:24Speaker 01

  Been put through the fucking wringer.

• 1:56:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:27Speaker 01

  And is like smiling and thinking about it in positive ways.

• 1:56:31Dax Shepard?

  Using it to create.

• 1:56:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, using it to create, not letting it kill him.

• 1:56:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:36Speaker 01

  Is admirable.

• 1:56:37Dax Shepard?

  It is.

• 1:56:38Speaker 01

  And there's something like.

• 1:56:39Dax Shepard?

  He's a low percentage.

• 1:56:40Speaker 01

  Like, just like in his eye, I don't know, I, I, I liked him a lot.

• 1:56:44Dax Shepard?

  He's very playful.

• 1:56:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like a nice boy.

• 1:56:47Dax Shepard?

  Would you date him? I mean, he's very young.

• 1:56:49Speaker 01

  He's too young.

• 1:56:50Dax Shepard?

  But he's very attractive.

• 1:56:51Speaker 01

  He's too young. He's very attractive, but he's, he's too young for me.

• 1:56:54Dax Shepard?

  How old was he?

• 1:56:55Speaker 01

  He's about to be thirty. If you are my brother's age.

• 1:56:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that's the, I get it.

• 1:57:00Speaker 01

  I can't do it.

• 1:57:01Dax Shepard?

  I get it. You have the brother in the mix. But thirty's an adult man.

• 1:57:05Speaker 01

  I know, but.

• 1:57:06Dax Shepard?

  I bet he has pubic hair and stuff.

• 1:57:07Speaker 01

  Ah, but.

• 1:57:12Speaker 01

  I've shared a shower with my brother, so I would assume he does have pubic hair. But, um, yeah, that's a sticking point for me. Anyone who is my brother's age or below is a baby. They'll just be a baby forever, even when my brother's forty.

• 1:57:26Dax Shepard?

  Well, you're fifty-eight and the person's fifty.

• 1:57:28Speaker 01

  Still.

• 1:57:29Dax Shepard?

  Really? He was an old grizzled man like me?

• 1:57:32Speaker 01

  They're babies. Just a little baby. Actually, um, there were times when, when Dominic was talking that I was like, I would like see my brother.

• 1:57:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 1:57:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz they're like, they're the same age. And so some of the ways they were talking and certain mannerisms, I was like, oh, my God.

• 1:57:50Dax Shepard?

  Or generational.

• 1:57:51Speaker 01

  I think generational boys.

• 1:57:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:54Speaker 01

  Um, so that was sweet, but also my brother has a girlfriend.

• 1:58:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:01Speaker 01

  And it's so exciting for me.

• 1:58:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, wonderful.

• 1:58:06Speaker 01

  I think it's so wonderful.

• 1:58:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:09Speaker 01

  And I'm so happy.

• 1:58:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:11Speaker 01

  And, you know, I don't know where it will go, but I had this, this like feeling where I, I was like, there's no other feeling other than just being so happy.

• 1:58:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Because he's your brother, but he's also your son because of the age gap. And you want him to not be lonely and be happy.

• 1:58:32Speaker 01

  It makes me so, it makes me feel like I'm so much happier about that development than I am if I had a boyfriend to bring to the table.

• 1:58:42Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 1:58:43Speaker 01

  Like, I prefer this, that just like he's good and he's happy and, and.

• 1:58:49Dax Shepard?

  I feel that way about Carly and Yurt. Like, I'm just so happy that Carly has had Yurt for so long.

• 1:58:55Speaker 01

  It's really great. And then even the idea, like, what if they, like, I've taken it so far, like, if they have kids and they're gonna bring maybe these little babies to Christmas and I get to play with these babies.

• 1:59:08Dax Shepard?

  That is fun.

• 1:59:09Speaker 01

  And I get to pay for their college. And like, it's just so cute. And there was, there's also something like energizing about it for me. I feel so excited that there might be like new energy in the dynamic.

• 1:59:25Dax Shepard?

  Now, yeah, that is fun.

• 1:59:27Speaker 01

  It's fun.

• 1:59:28Dax Shepard?

  And she will make him grow as partners.

• 1:59:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:33Dax Shepard?

  Now.

• 1:59:34Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 1:59:35Dax Shepard?

  One shouldn't care about this, but I do.

• 1:59:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:40Dax Shepard?

  Which is, do you have any sense of relief of like, I want my parents to know that they carried on? And I might not facilitate that and I'm comforted for them that, that the Padmans may live on.

• 1:59:56Speaker 01

  So I talk to them about this.

• 1:59:59Dax Shepard?

  They don't care.

• 2:00:00Speaker 01

  They don't.

• 2:00:01Dax Shepard?

  They're so interesting.

• 2:00:03Speaker 01

  They really don't care about that, about like, about like the legacy or the seed continuing or the name continuing or anything like that.

• 2:00:12Dax Shepard?

  It makes me sad, like, if I think about my dad and the shepherds and Papa Bob and Grandma and that I ended that line, that.

• 2:00:20Speaker 01

  Yes, I mean, I.

• 2:00:21Dax Shepard?

  I would have a hard time with that.

• 2:00:22Speaker 01

  I have some guilt about that.

• 2:00:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:24Speaker 01

  So this isn't helpful.

• 2:00:25Dax Shepard?

  And I'm saying, it doesn't make any sense. Why, why do we care if one genetic pool carries on or not? I don't know why I care.

• 2:00:33Speaker 01

  Well, it makes sense.

• 2:00:34Dax Shepard?

  You kind of feel like, I feel like, oh, they die for good if that doesn't.

• 2:00:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:00:38Dax Shepard?

  Right? Like, there'll be no one here to care that they were here.

• 2:00:42Speaker 01

  Yes, correct. These are the feelings.

• 2:00:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they're deep.

• 2:00:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, they are. They are. But then you also have, you can't do it for that.

• 2:00:51Dax Shepard?

  No, of course not.

• 2:00:52Speaker 01

  So, yeah, when she came into the picture and I was talking to my parents and I said that, I was like, well, good, at least we know.

• 2:01:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:01:01Speaker 01

  At least we know someone's gonna carry this on.

• 2:01:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:01:05Speaker 01

  And they like laughed and they were like, we don't care about that.

• 2:01:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:01:10Speaker 01

  Like, they, I think, want little babies around right now. Like, that sounds fun for them.

• 2:01:15Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 2:01:15Speaker 01

  But also, they don't, they're like, fine if that doesn't happen and they're all, and they don't care about the name being spread and.

• 2:01:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but bizarrely healthy and evolved.

• 2:01:25Speaker 01

  They're very healthy and evolved. Thank God, because they got me. So like, I don't, although maybe I wouldn't be, I probably wouldn't be me if they weren't that.

• 2:01:34Dax Shepard?

  Well, of course not.

• 2:01:35Speaker 01

  I would probably want to do what they wanted me to do and I would do it.

• 2:01:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, beat yourself up or not do it and feel guilty.

• 2:01:44Speaker 01

  Or I would just do it and then be miserable.

• 2:01:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:01:49Speaker 01

  So I'm lucky.

• 2:01:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:01:50Speaker 01

  But anywho, so that was exciting. This is all very exciting.

• 2:01:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and to be clear, I don't care for me. Like, I don't care if my children have children for me so that someone remembers me. It's really just about like my dad and my mom.

• 2:02:06Speaker 01

  Yes, it goes the other way.

• 2:02:08Dax Shepard?

  And my grandparents. Yeah.

• 2:02:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:11Speaker 01

  But like, also, it's like, what does it mean? They didn't live like they did.

• 2:02:16Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 2:02:16Speaker 01

  And death is death to me. Like, they're dead. I mean, except they are and they're not, because there is some truth to like, we make these people.

• 2:02:24Dax Shepard?

  Bob's so alive right now. As long as I'm here, he's so alive.

• 2:02:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02:28Dax Shepard?

  You know?

• 2:02:30Speaker 01

  This is unhelpful.

• 2:02:33Speaker 01

  Oh, anyway, okay, um, some facts. Okay, so somatic therapy.

• 2:02:40Dax Shepard?

  Do it.

• 2:02:40Speaker 01

  Somatic therapy, I'm doing it, uh, explores how the body expresses deeply painful experiences, applying mind-body healing to aid with trauma recovery. Since disturbing feelings often show up in the body in debilitating ways, somatic therapy aims to drain those emotions of their power, relieving pain and other manifestations of stress such as disrupted sleep or an inability to concentrate. These types of emotions can stem from a variety of conditions and circumstances that somatic therapy may potentially help alleviate. They include PTSD, complicated grief, depression, anxiety, trust and intimacy issues, self-esteem problems.

• 2:03:17Dax Shepard?

  Hmm. Can't imagine there's a human on earth without one of those.

• 2:03:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree. You know, it's funny, I had therapy this week and she said something really interesting because I was having this period of anxiety,

• 2:03:35Speaker 01

  that felt really old.

• 2:03:39Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 2:03:40Speaker 01

  And I was having all these like old feelings come up that I thought I had like

• 2:03:46Dax Shepard?

  Said goodbye to.

• 2:03:47Speaker 01

  Fully put to rest and were gone. So then, of course, then I was like mad at myself and like, why, why this again? This is back like what?

• 2:03:55Dax Shepard?

  It's like it's a failing on your part.

• 2:03:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, and, um, and she said an interesting thing. She said with loss brings back old losses.

• 2:04:05Dax Shepard?

  Hmm, mm hmm.

• 2:04:06Speaker 01

  So if there's a current loss, all these old things that are similar in feeling and body come back to the surface.

• 2:04:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 2:04:15Speaker 01

  So.

• 2:04:15Dax Shepard?

  You smell something that's from 20 years ago. You smelt it, it reminds you of that whole thing.

• 2:04:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:22Speaker 01

  And so you kind of have to walk through those. Emotions again.

• 2:04:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:26Speaker 01

  Which is hard, but it but good to know that like that's what's happening. Anyway, um, that just reminded me of somatic therapy. Um, oh, he mentioned drinking Kahlua. They would steal from friends' parents.

• 2:04:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:39Speaker 01

  And I was like, this is such a universal thing. That's that was my first drink.

• 2:04:44Dax Shepard?

  I think it's most people.

• 2:04:45Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:04:46Dax Shepard?

  Cause it's a milkshake.

• 2:04:47Speaker 01

  But also like.

• 2:04:48Dax Shepard?

  Cause alcohol tastes terrible when you first try it.

• 2:04:50Speaker 01

  Right, but I don't know anyone who has Kahlua.

• 2:04:53Dax Shepard?

  Anymore.

• 2:04:54Speaker 01

  Anymore.

• 2:04:55Dax Shepard?

  It does feel very nineties, yeah, eighties, nineties.

• 2:04:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wonder what the new one is.

• 2:05:00Dax Shepard?

  I'll tell you when it looks so good as in, um, uh, the dude.

• 2:05:05Speaker 01

  Oh, White Russians.

• 2:05:06Dax Shepard?

  The White Russians. They make those at the bar. Like, I I remember watching that and just being like, fuck, I'm so mad I didn't drink White Russians.

• 2:05:14Speaker 01

  It's it's thick.

• 2:05:16Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it's thick.

• 2:05:16Speaker 01

  That's really thick. Okay, the Cirque Lodge, uh, we kind of like, we talked about it in a way that it's as if everyone knew what it was, because the three of us do know what it is, but it is a rehab center.

• 2:05:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I think they do multiple things. I don't know if it's just addiction. I think there's a lot of different.

• 2:05:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, the Studio Cirque Lodge, Studio Alcohol and Drug Rehab Facility.

• 2:05:40Speaker 01

  Luxury rehab.

• 2:05:41Dax Shepard?

  Luxury rehab.

• 2:05:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, highly rated. Okay, how long does, I'm I'm gonna get so many flags. Cause how I looked up, how long does coke last in your system?

• 2:05:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. How long?

• 2:05:54Speaker 01

  Um.

• 2:05:55Dax Shepard?

  How long is it detect- detectable?

• 2:05:57Speaker 01

  If someone has used cocaine only once, it usually detectable in urine for around three to five days. Someone who takes a larger dose or uses it occasionally, it may show up in urine for three to seven days. For frequent or heavy cocaine users, five to 14 days after the last dose.

• 2:06:13Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 2:06:14Speaker 01

  So, okay, I looked up that.

• 2:06:15Dax Shepard?

  If you can go 14 days between using coke, then you're not really heavy user. It's all kind of circular.

• 2:06:21Speaker 01

  True. Um, okay, now weed, I looked up weed as well. Single first time user, up to three days. Moderate user, which is a few times a week, five to seven days. Chronic user, 10 to 15 days. Heavy chronic user, which is multiple times a day, 30 days or longer.

• 2:06:39Dax Shepard?

  I had always heard 30 days. Okay, so you gotta really be.

• 2:06:41Speaker 01

  But maybe that's someone who's every day, yeah.

• 2:06:45Dax Shepard?

  Pedal to the metal.

• 2:06:46Speaker 01

  And then meth.

• 2:06:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 2:06:48Speaker 01

  When I looked that up, I did get like a, a, um, hotline.

• 2:06:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you did.

• 2:06:54Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Which is great.

• 2:06:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:56Speaker 01

  It says meth can be detected in urine, blood, saliva, and even hair for different periods of time that vary from person to person. In general, it's much longer than you'd expect. Although the high for meth may only last a few minutes to a few hours, a drug can remain in your body for a much longer period of time. It's not saying specifics, which is, um, oh, this says can stay in your urine for up to five days.

• 2:07:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, what is wild is I have had drug tests show up for meth.

• 2:07:27Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:07:28Dax Shepard?

  From

• 2:07:29Speaker 01

  Sudafed. Yeah, we have, yeah.

• 2:07:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:07:33Dax Shepard?

  I mean, I truly haven't done meth in 23 years.

• 2:07:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07:36Dax Shepard?

  Um, but I, when I was taking drug tests.

• 2:07:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07:40Dax Shepard?

  There was a period where I was like, what is this?

• 2:07:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07:43Dax Shepard?

  And I had to go like, what is, what is going on? And as I had taken Sudafed.

• 2:07:47Speaker 01

  Right. But it also says your meth can be found in a half inch hair sample for up to 90 days.

• 2:07:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay. No getting away with that one, it sounds like.

• 2:07:57Speaker 01

  Let's just leave that one alone.

• 2:07:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:59Speaker 01

  Okay, the act that is there to combat prison rape is called PRIA. It stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act in 2003.

• 2:08:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay, good.

• 2:08:10Speaker 01

  So that's great.

• 2:08:11Dax Shepard?

  Glad they finally, I think there was a big period where they were like tough shit.

• 2:08:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:08:15Dax Shepard?

  You went to prison, like that's on you.

• 2:08:16Speaker 01

  You deserve it.

• 2:08:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. It was gnarly.

• 2:08:19Speaker 01

  I know. That was so crazy that his cellmate was murdered his family.

• 2:08:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:25Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 2:08:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:27Speaker 01

  Wow. Okay, now you're gonna be really interested in this. So we took a pee break.

• 2:08:33Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:08:33Speaker 01

  And then you asked if his stream was ropey.

• 2:08:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:08:37Speaker 01

  And then we got on to the subject of, does a larger penis mean you have a

• 2:08:42Dax Shepard?

  Thicker.

• 2:08:42Speaker 01

  Thicker stream? And so I looked this up. Having a bigger penis is linked to a slower urine stream.

• 2:08:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:49Speaker 01

  Due to the longer length of the urethra. You were right.

• 2:08:51Dax Shepard?

  Thank you.

• 2:08:52Speaker 01

  And I was like, no, but you were right. However.

• 2:08:55Dax Shepard?

  It just makes sense.

• 2:08:56Speaker 01

  I guess. However, a slow stream is more strongly influenced by other medical conditions with penis size having a minor indirect.

• 2:09:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think your prostate has a lot to do with it. I think when guys have really enlarged prostates, it's like constricting everything in the vas deferens and urethra. And then it's just a dribble drip, drip, drip. Or I see guys all the time at the urinal and they're like trying to get it going. And I'll like do my whole thing.

• 2:09:22Speaker 01

  Well, it makes sense if anything's expanded or bloated. Cause sometimes even when I'm on my period or if I have a tampon in.

• 2:09:32Dax Shepard?

  When you, which is often as it turns out.

• 2:09:37Speaker 01

  It's harder for me to pee. I don't know if that's just my body, but for me it makes sense too. Cause like then everything's like stuck.

• 2:09:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:46Speaker 01

  Constricted.

• 2:09:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:47Speaker 01

  So, but luckily for me, I barely ever wear tampons.

• 2:09:52Dax Shepard?

  And you barely pee.

• 2:09:54Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 2:09:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:55Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 2:09:56Dax Shepard?

  You're hitting this from a lot of different angles.

• 2:09:57Speaker 01

  But that's why it's a little, it's uncomfortable if I have to pee because I don't pee often. So when I pee, there's a fair amount of pee. So if I have a tampon in and I can feel like it needs to come out. It's like, it's uncomfortable. Yeah, too much pressure. All right. Oh, the happy Pharrell thing.

• 2:10:19Speaker 01

  It is despicable me too. And yeah.

• 2:10:23Dax Shepard?

  And a lot of, lot of at bats before you cranked it out of the park.

• 2:10:29Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 2:10:29Dax Shepard?

  Well, I loved him.

• 2:10:30Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 2:10:31Dax Shepard?

  So cute. I want to take care of him. I want to, I want to buy a house and meet him and Machine Gun Kelly all live in it.

• 2:10:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that'll be fun.

• 2:10:38Dax Shepard?

  Do a lot of hugging and comforting one another and a little bit like crying.

• 2:10:42Speaker 01

  Oh, cute.

• 2:10:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:44Speaker 01

  Okay, bye. Love you.

• 2:10:45Dax Shepard?

  Love you.

• 2:11:00Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Allstate. Checking in Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the weather forecast before you walk out the door? You looked outside, saw blue sky, felt great about your outfit choice. No jacket, no umbrella. Fast forward two hours, you're sprinting through a parking lot in a downpour, holding a notebook over your head like that's going to help. Yeah. Checking first is a brilliant idea. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.