#590 - Fathers and Voices

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about the importance of good dads in today’s world, his recent trip to Qatar, and reflections from his interview with Vice President JD Vance. He also responds to some of your voicemails and thinks back on some of the positive male role models in his life. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/THEO to get your $20 bonus investment today. Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Death of a Good Man” by Evan Bartels https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGJCJNuWXAY ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Riley https://www.instagram.com/riley_mau/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. California, we've got some new tour dates for you. I'll be in Los Angeles on August 14th at the Dolby Theater, Anaheim on the August 16th

• 1:23Theo Von?

  at the Honda Center, and Oceanside on August 17th at Front Wave Arena. Get your tickets early this Thursday, June 19th with code RATKING, 10 a.m. local time. General on sale begins Friday, June 20th. Get your tickets only at theovon.com/TOUR. Please avoid any scalper sites. And thank you so much. This is the Return of the Rat Tour, almost over. I promise it's almost over. And thank you guys so much for all the support.

• 1:56Theo Von?

  Okay. What's going on? Um, what am I doing? What am I doing? Uh, what am I doing? Yeah, you ever, that's where I'm at, like, what am I doing? What am I doing?

• 2:13Theo Von?

  You feel like that sometimes ever? What am I doing? Like, you know the feeling like you go back in the house to get something? And then you get in there and you don't know, you're just standing, you're like, what am I? You go into different rooms and like, what? Does this feel like what I'm? Why I was coming back in here? Does it feel like it's in here? You know, it's like you're like on a scavenger hunt, just with your own memory.

• 2:40Theo Von?

  That's how I feel. I just, it's just one of those days.

• 2:45Theo Von?

  The whole day feels like that, kinda. You ever have those type of days where you're like, this, this, this ain't my day? This day, me and this day don't even know each other. You know, you're alive the whole day, but like you just don't even belong to the calendar. Like you're just loitering.

• 3:08Theo Von?

  That's the, that's where I'm at.

• 3:11Theo Von?

  That's where I'm at.

• 3:15Theo Von?

  And I don't know if it's the world making me feel that way, it's just me, I mean, it's, you know.

• 3:21Theo Von?

  But it's okay, you know, I show up here, I'm happy to be here today with you guys.

• 3:29Theo Von?

  Yeah, my name's Theo and I'm happy to be here.

• 3:33Theo Von?

  Happy belated Father's Day, let's say that. Happy belated Father's Day to all the men out there who who make those choices, even the choices their children don't see, to show up. You know, they do the extra thing.

• 3:52Theo Von?

  You know? They do the things they're supposed to do as a father.

• 3:58Theo Von?

  You know, they follow the blueprint.

• 4:03Theo Von?

  Happy, happy belated Father's Day to those guys. And sorry, we didn't get this episode out, um, last week, but here we are, right? Here we are. And, and, and some people, you, you may not have a father, right? Your father may have passed, or he may not be in your life and, um. You know, I can relate to some of that where, like sometimes I'll find pieces of my father and other, and other men. You know? There's certain men I'll go to for like certain advice or, you know, and I get a little piece of fatherhood there.

• 4:38Theo Von?

  There's certain men I'll call when uh maybe I'm scared or maybe when things are good.

• 4:44Theo Von?

  And I'll share them and I'll and I'll get a little piece of fatherhood there.

• 4:51Theo Von?

  So happy belated Father's Day to all the fathers or even just all the men in the world that that create pieces of fatherhood for others. Even sometimes they don't even know they do it, I bet.

• 5:06Theo Von?

  What's going on? Um, oh, I went to Qatar. I hadn't even talked about that. I went to the Middle East, baby. And the Middle East, dude, it's, I mean, it is. It's something. It's like, you ever open the oven door? And that bitch is on?

• 5:29Theo Von?

  That's the Middle East, boy? That bitch is on. Like, the whole time I'm there, I'm just looking to like turn off the preheat switch or something. I'm like, damn, somebody set this bitch on broil.

• 5:43Theo Von?

  It's, the sun is over there. It's geeking, bruh. The sun is over there. It's damn, that shit, the, the heat come down on you like, dang, bro, this sun trying to press me. This heat feeling a little bit zesty, this shit. Cause that heat will get everywhere. It get down the back of your neck. Like, god dang. That heat start undoing your belt buckle. You're like, gosh. This sun getting zesty. That's heat gaying, bruh. That's heat gaying, man.

• 6:14Theo Von?

  But I got invited over there by the Qatari. And it's Q A T A R. That's what it's, how it's spelled. And it doesn't have a U in it. And the whole time, I'm thinking like, should I get these guys a gift or something for inviting me over? And I was like, I'll get them the letter U, you know? Just get a big, a U in a box and give that to them. But then you're like, nah, they doing their own shit, bro. They say, you know, they conserving, hell, they're conserving water. They're conserving letters, too. And I got invited over there by the, I guess it's the, like, the kind of the board that.

• 6:53Theo Von?

  The Tourism Board, I guess? So that's who I got invited over there by. And it was in conjunction with a time that Donald Trump was gonna be there performing for the troops. Uh, or speaking to the troops. And so I got to perform that same day, probably maybe like an hour or so, uh, before he was up there. The show was, it was, uh, hectic. And the show was hectic, cuz there weren't supposed to be any cameras. I got on stage, there were like 20 news cameras, so that was a total surprise. And, um, and so we had to make some adjustments or whatever. But just getting to be there and see the base and see, uh, the soldiers over there and see the people that, you know, that made that commitment. Uh, it was very inspiring.

• 7:38Theo Von?

  And it was just real, you know? Uh, and so that, that was really special. I felt very lucky to, to just get to witness that, to be allowed to show up. Um, what else did we do there? Oh, it's very organized there, the sidewalks, that bitch stays in line, bruh. You know, I'm, I'm from, uh, Louisiana and the sidewalk there, they got, one of them bitches will be at a 40 degree. The next pla- the next cement, uh, plank will be at like a six degree. The next one will have a damn, uh, off ramp on. I've seen a sidewalk with a damn off ramp on it in Louisiana, bruh.

• 8:17Theo Von?

  Cuz the, the oak trees, the roots grow up under the sidewalk and they'll push that bitch off, dog. Bruh, you trying to walk down a street, you end up fucking six blocks over, bruh. If you follow the sidewalk, that bitch, that bitch will take you wherever, dude. So a lot of times in Louisiana, you see somebody walking right along the side of the street and that's why. Cuz them sidewalks, them bitches, dang, they don't care. They, each, each piece of cement barely even knows the next piece, them bitches, they at odds. You know, and then you'll have one tsunami, you know, where it'll hit a damn sinkhole, that bitch will be 40 feet down. You know, you trying to go half a block and next thing you know, you were, you got rappelling equipment on.

• 9:03Theo Von?

  So it's just heading, going down a Louisiana sidewalk is very intense, but, uh, but in Qatar, or Qatar, they say Qatar. That's, everything's very organized, every lamp light, every, every, everything, it's pristine. You know, it's like a Christmas village, but, uh, but they don't believe in Christmas, you know, I don't think anyway, I don't know if they do or not, let me see. Do Muslims believe in Christmas?

• 9:36Theo Von?

  Uh, no, Muslims do not celebrate Christmas. If Jesus, peace be upon him, is so revered in Islam, why do we not celebrate his birthday? It is necessary to point out that Jesus and his mother, Mary, are revered highly by Muslims. As far as celebrating the Christmas as the birthday of Jesus is concerned, uh, the Muslim community do not celebrate it, just as we do not celebrate the birthdays of any other prophet. We believe that celebrating a prophet's birth amounts to adopting that prophet's teachings as a way of life. If the teachings are not followed, the almighty's displeasure is invoked. Yeah, so anyway, they got, you know, they got a different setup over there. Um, but, yeah, all the, and all, a lot of the buildings, they look very much, they have like a castle top.

• 10:21Theo Von?

  You ever, you ever see like a rook piece if you're playing chess, or the top of a castle, it's like, this, it's got a little square goes up and then it goes down and up and down. Um, like a riveting kind of, every building in Qatar was like that. I mean, you'll, you're like, damn, is that a damn fortress? And they're like, damn, nah, son, that's a damn Carl's Jr., bro, that's a, nah, they just protecting the fucking new chicken sandwich in that bitch, you know? Um, but it was, uh, really awesome just to be there and see what it was like. The tourism people that had me come, the, I think it was like the prime minister, maybe, or somebody else, they were very accommodating, they invited me over to their house for dinner,

• 11:05Theo Von?

  which was great, man, you sit there, and, eh, they bring.

• 11:11Theo Von?

  Dude, they got condiments. They won the condiment war, bro. No, we got a couple of condiments. You see a little bit of ketchup. You see some mayonnaise, baby, you know? You see that mustard, bro, and it's sometimes it's mustarded, you know, but you eat it anyway, bro. You don't have a lot because you don't want to catch nothing, you know, or pass it on to your children. But you eat over there, they got, they had a little cut of lamb or something and they got thirty sauces.

• 11:39Theo Von?

  They got shit, they got a damn, one of the sauces had a damn deep end on the dish of it. I was like, yeah. That sauce got a shallow, a deep end. It was, they had a damn, a little hot tub full of damn, some turquoise fuchsia after paste or something, everything.

• 12:00Theo Von?

  Just condimented.

• 12:03Theo Von?

  Uh, so that was wonderful just to be invited, to be able to do that. Um, oh, they have dates over there? That's like one of their big fruits or vegetables or shit. I mean, a date, they're like, oh, you like dates, the dates? I'm like, that bitch, that's just a fucking old ass plum, homie. That bitch is a, that's a senior citizen plum, brother. That's what you guys are eating. Um, but they were just great senses of humor, like it was just fun, man. I went, we went to like a three hour dinner and it was a blast. And everything there, they have huge buildings for like a lot of stuff because they have extra money to build, you know? Don't have like a damn thirty floor anytime fitness in that bitch, you know?

• 12:45Theo Von?

  And that, you be, you know, you doing curls on the seventeenth floor, they got leg press on the ninth floor, you know? And they got, um, saltwater baths down there on, on the third floor, you know? On the second floor then, they got a leak, obviously coming from the ceiling, but that's how gravity is, you know? Uh, what was, uh, else was interesting really about it? Uh, we almost stayed for a Travis Scott concert the night after, but we didn't. Uh, one thing that's interesting over there, they had the World Cup a few years ago. So there's still a lot of these huge soccer stadiums, right? And they're kind of just, you know, they use them for different events, but they're just everywhere. You're like, oh, there's a soccer stadium, there's a soccer stadium.

• 13:30Theo Von?

  Um, it's kind of fascinating just to see like all these huge, uh, empty soccer stadiums out in the desert. Uh, what else? We got to swim in the Persian Gulf right outside our hotel. They had a Persian, uh, part of the Persian Gulf, so I got to swim out there. Real salty, nice. Um, what else? Uh, let me think. Oh, and then I had some people say, asking me, were you, um, compromised by the Qatari government? Were you a spy? Um, no. I would never be a spy, I don't think. I don't think I would. I don't think I would be a good spy, dude.

• 14:06Theo Von?

  I don't, I don't know. I don't know. I could, if it's like,

• 14:12Theo Von?

  you know, I, no, I don't, I guess spies have to hide all the time, shit. I don't, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. Um, so no, I didn't get asked to be a spy. Part of me was almost low-key hoping I would or something like that. Cause I was like, why are they having me come over? But, uh, but I didn't get asked to be a spy. I didn't get, um, what's it called? When you get compromised or whatever? None of that shit happened to me. Um, I didn't even get an offer, which that kind of bummed me out. But, um, yeah. They didn't ask me to say anything specific about their place or them or anything. All they did was just treat me very nice. I went with my tour manager.

• 14:52Theo Von?

  And we got to wear the traditional garbs. It's, uh, one of the thobes, one of the nice robes. I have a picture of, of us in it on YouTube. Um, I mean, everybody, it looks, you know, kind of like an altar boy. Like everybody looks like an altar, you know, it looks like somebody's about to get molested, dude. It definitely seems like they holding the damn molestival, you know, like, eh, like, but then you realize, oh, that's just the garb and it's just almost like a private school. That's what I learned. So that everybody wears the same thing. So there's not like a level of hierarchy between, um, clothing or anything like that. Anything else about it that was super fascinating? It was a very short trip. It was like 36 hours. Uh, I don't think I slept the whole time. I hit jet lag. I didn't worry about it. And then, um,

• 15:35Theo Von?

  just slept on the way home. But, oh, you can't, like, there's not like places to just go drink and stuff. So you could drink at your hotels. Uh, everybody's kind of covered up, so you don't, it feels very, it felt very proper. That was a kind of the energy that I got. But then you're talking to a lot of the guys there and a lot of them, they went to like University of Oregon or you know, uh, Texas A&M or something. So you're like, oh, this guy's just in this kind of fancy outfit. You know, he looks like a baby angel, like everybody looks like they would be on top of a Christmas tree. But they, a lot of them, that's just, once they go back to their country, that's how they operate.

• 16:17Theo Von?

  So, but it was a great experience. I'm glad I got to do it. Uh, we got to go, Al Assad Air Base was the place. And uh, thank you to everybody that stationed there, that's stationed anywhere. Happy belated 250th birthday to the army.

• 16:35Theo Von?

  But yeah, I just, yeah, I really enjoyed it, you know, because I think I always had this idea in my head of,

• 16:42Theo Von?

  I don't know, I think the Middle East is also, is often framed as kind of scary. And it was definitely intriguing, like very like Casablanca-y, like, uh, you're just wondering what's going on everywhere. But I didn't feel um, like threatened or scared at all, you know? And I was also on a US military base for half of one day, so that's, I mean, the dogs have my back over there, so that was really beautiful.

• 17:13Theo Von?

  But yeah, I would go back. So just want to share that about that experience. And no, nobody paid me to say that. I've never been, I've never been paid for, I mean, I get paid for advertisements and stuff, but I've never been, had anybody, say, "We need you to say this or not say this" in my whole life.

• 17:35Theo Von?

  So, yeah, just want to say that. Or are they paying me? Dun dun dun. What else? Uh, sorry, I feel nervous today. I don't know. I just feel like it's just not, you know, it's just not, you're like, this day's never gonna fit perfect. Uh, you know what, you know what I've been thinking about is just like a lot, like just about uh, your voice, right? Like just having a voice. Like what does it mean, you know? Because sometimes it feels to me, sometimes like we're in a place where people get afraid to speak up. You know, I get afraid to speak up. Um, so maybe it's not people, maybe it's just me.

• 18:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, so let me just say me, so I'm not, I feel like I'm putting that on anybody, um. Yeah, I wonder sometimes like, man, it's like, I don't know if what I want to say is right. You know, like it feels right, but I don't know, you know? And so then I get scared to speak up.

• 18:36Theo Von?

  And I just wonder if that's. I think having some, you know, knowing when, uh, kind of hold them, know when to fold them, know when, you know, or not that, let's walk away, but know, yeah, know when to say something, know when not to say something is important, but.

• 18:52Theo Von?

  Yeah, I just, I think I've been thinking a lot about that, like having a voice, like what does it mean to have a voice and, you know, and to be able to share and to speak up and to, you know, and when, when do you do that? I think that's been something that's been on my mind a lot lately, personally.

• 19:11Theo Von?

  I did a 72 hour fast, 73 hours I made it to, which is pretty cool, it's kind of scary, but it wasn't that scary, I felt good about it, I'm glad that I did it.

• 19:22Theo Von?

  Battled a bit with dehydration, uh, chewed some gum that didn't have anything in it, basically, to make me feel like I was having something sometimes, and then I would put salt on my hand and lick it and just drink some water with it. Uh, what else, what else is happening? Let's get into some calls, there's a lot that's going on in the world right now, we'll get into some of that.

• 19:44Theo Von?

  They're trying to, I don't know if they're trying to get us into a war with Iran or not, America, if Israel is trying to. I don't trust the

• 19:55Theo Von?

  uh, Israel leader at all, I don't believe anything that guy says. And I.

• 20:03Theo Von?

  I don't think that

• 20:06Theo Von?

  our soldiers should have to go and defend stuff that they start. I'm not a soldier, so I might, I'm obviously speaking out of turn, I'm not even brave enough to serve, so there's that element.

• 20:23Theo Von?

  But that is kind of how I feel, I guess, and so it's like, yeah, when do I speak, when do I say that? You know? Because it feels like they're trying to push Trump to go do that, and it's like, who makes that choice? Does he make that choice? And then what do we get, you know? What's the win for us? We're just involved in some other thing while we have suffering here at home.

• 20:49Theo Von?

  So maybe something like that is like, yeah, do I have, should I even speak up? Because I'm not in service. Servicemen and women may be like, we want to, we'll do, you know, and that's their commitment and their job.

• 21:02Theo Von?

  But

• 21:04Theo Von?

  yeah, I just, I don't know. That guy really scares me. And and I don't know why we support them. I don't understand that. I wish they would really give us a better explanation. You know, especially after the massacres in Gaza.

• 21:22Theo Von?

  I don't understand. I do not understand that.

• 21:27Theo Von?

  And some people say, well, you don't know enough about it. That may, and I may not. But it's like, dude, can I still speak about it?

• 21:36Theo Von?

  Can I speak about how I feel about it?

• 21:41Theo Von?

  You know? Moments like that, like, when do I, when am I, when do I need to speak up?

• 21:48Theo Von?

  And share just for myself? Right? You know, and not even try to, I don't think this is virtue signaling. I don't know exactly what that is. I was talking with my producer about it today.

• 22:01Theo Von?

  But I think I'm talking about a voice from us, like, when do I speak up for myself?

• 22:08Theo Von?

  Um, let's take some calls here that came in. You guys had calls about some interesting stuff and uh, we'll get into it.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Hey Theo, uh, just calling to say thank you, um, for your support of, um, the Palestinian people. I know I sound like lib, snowflake, whatever the fuck those guys think of, uh, people who support the Palestinians, but.

• 22:37Theo Von?

  I, I don't think that, I don't think somebody's supporting what appears to be like a massacre of a lot of children. I, I don't see, I, I'm shocked that there aren't more voices sometimes speaking up, but that's also coming from a place where, um, you know, I, I can take care of myself, I know, and feed myself and roof myself for the rest of my life. And so other people's lives are, are different. And so, um, yeah, I can be surprised by that, but I can also totally understand that for sure. Onward.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Hearing you today on the podcast with JD Vance, speaking up for those people who have no voices, like, I think I ovulated while I was listening to the pod.

• 23:19Theo Von?

  Whoa, dang it. Easter came early right there. Uh, well, thank you for the call. Uh, I appreciate you sharing what you thought. Um, and yeah, I don't think it's like a choice just, just try and speak up about Gaza and about Palestine. I think for me, it just feels like there's no, I, I, it, not even a choice. It's just like, how can you watch this? It's like, am I insane? I, I'm sorry that it took me so long to say something.

• 23:50Theo Von?

  To be very honest, I was afraid, you know? I think I was afraid. I think I, you know,

• 23:56Theo Von?

  it's just like trying to connect your instinct to your voice sometimes. Um, I think that's always been something that's been a little bit tough for me. Um, but I didn't think that I did a good job, to be honest with you, on the Vance interview. Um, I had follow-up questions about certain parts of it, right? I had follow-up questions about, um, you know, the surveillance state and the genocide and, um, what else? Oh, the money that we give Israel. Like, I had follow-up questions about these things. I just.

• 24:31Theo Von?

  I don't know. I don't know if I got like afraid or.

• 24:36Theo Von?

  I don't know. And I think part of me gets stuck in this space where it's like, well, this is a comedy podcast. But then a lot of like, life starts to get mixed into it. And then it's like, well, what do?

• 24:48Theo Von?

  I guess I think, well, what do people want?

• 24:54Theo Von?

  You know?

• 24:57Theo Von?

  And. And so that probably has something to do with it. Uh, I think the last time that, uh, JD came on and I was very grateful for him. I like JD. Uh, I was very grateful that, that he came on. We'd known like a month in advance that he was coming. And. But last time he was like campaigning, right? It was just him and his cousin in the room and it just, it felt a little bit less pressure. This didn't feel like a ton of pressure, but it was, you know, he had like his campaign team and stuff and their secret service there. And, um. And they can kind of wrap up the interview whenever. You know, I think that fear was in my head. Like maybe, well, if I say the wrong thing, are they just gonna kind of shut down the interview?

• 25:39Theo Von?

  I'm not saying that that was true at all. I'm just saying that that was something that was probably in my head. Um.

• 25:47Theo Von?

  And then you realize that there's a level of kind of diplomacy, you know? What is diplomacy? Let me look it up.

• 25:55Theo Von?

  Okay. Of or concerning the profession, activity, or skill of managing. Relations. It says international relations, but I just think relations, right? Like, I was like, oh, well, if I try, if I ask too much.

• 26:11Theo Von?

  Will. They not want to come back again? Will I lose the bridge to be able to communicate with him? Right?

• 26:20Theo Von?

  For me, that was something. So I'm just trying to manage it, you know? Cause you start to realize it in politics that there's a, there's a level of give and take with all of those. All those meetings they go into and all the votes and the. You know, they're all like. Behind the scenes, like. Trading this option for, okay, well, I'll help support you here if you can help support me. You know, there's just so much of that. It's, it's very much that Game of Thrones type of energy. But, yeah, but I wish I'd have spoken up a little bit, you know? I felt like, um. Like Mr. Vance gave more political answers this time.

• 26:53Theo Von?

  So it felt different. I don't think I was as prepared for that. I think sometimes it seemed like, I don't know if he answered exactly what I was asking, but I, it's my job to like, fine tune the question or make sure that I at least get my question very clear.

• 27:09Theo Von?

  So there was a lot of that. You know, all those things kind of happening at once, I guess. And then, and then also you're like, well,

• 27:21Theo Von?

  people can make their choices about things, right? So sometimes if you just have a conversation with people, they'll derive from it. When they hear the person speak, they might be like, okay, I believe this person or I don't believe this person or,

• 27:38Theo Von?

  I empathize or I sympathize or I understand this person or wow, I'm surprised by that person, right? Or people, so sometimes I think that that's kind of what a podcast is a lot of times as opposed to like an interview. It's just a space where people talk and then people can devise their own thoughts about the conversation.

• 28:01Theo Von?

  And I'm not trying to take any skin off of my own neck as a, as a, as being an interviewer.

• 28:08Theo Von?

  But then it's like, well, is this an interview or is it a podcast? So there's all, you know, there's just like little things I think that I'm just kind of still learning and navigating. And, uh, and just how to have a voice in those spaces, you know? I think that I could have joked less. And then, but then you get into this space. Well, do I have a responsibility like a social or societal responsibility to ask certain things? But that's very scary because then it's like, oh, well, it's a, that, that's like ego, you know, that's like, well, do I, I mean, you know, who, you know, you have to be careful that you're just not getting into this ego place. So yeah, I don't know. I feel scared to, I don't know if I'm shit. I might just be having

• 28:52Theo Von?

  a little bit extra Celsius today. But yeah, so there was just a lot going on. I do felt like I could have done a better job. I definitely feel like I live and learn. I think there were a lot of like little things in there, but I'm grateful to have had that opportunity. And you know, I hope to be able to do better in certain instances in the future and and get the questions in that I want to that I do feel like are important. Anyway, I don't want to lament over it too much or like overlook at it too much. But those are the smart thoughts, you know, and you can think whatever you want. You may have hated even him sitting in there, you know, you might not be, you know, he might not be your cup of tea, you know.

• 29:36Theo Von?

  Anyway, so yeah, that's kind of, um, I get, yeah, I'm just rambling about that shit now, but that was something that's on my mind, you know, I wish it and I wish I'd have spoken up more and had another couple of follow up questions about the Middle East. And it's okay, I'm not going to get down on myself, but I want to be able to just, I want to do my best, you know, I want to do my best. And what does that mean? You know, it could mean many things, but, but yeah, thank you guys for just anybody that paid attention to it for even checking it out and for bearing with me. You know, I also think that damn dude after you've done 500 episodes, if you haven't figured some of this shit out by now, then this is where we are. We

• 30:18Theo Von?

  just did a great episode about the Roman Empire too. I thought it was really good. Just trying to be there and listen a little bit more. I wish I would have done, but I thought it was fun. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easier to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to feel like financial wellness is impossible. Acorns gives you small, simple steps to get you and your money on track. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You just need to stick with it. And Acorns makes that easy too. You can create

• 31:01Theo Von?

  your Acorns account and start investing in just five minutes. I recently got my nieces and nephews set up with Acorns accounts. That's how much I believe in it. Sign up now and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment. Offer available at acorns.com/THEO. That's A-C-O-R-N-S dot com slash T-H-E-O to get your $20 bonus investment today. This is a paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provided. Incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier four compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor.

• 31:45Theo Von?

  View important disclosures at acorns.com/THEO. As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503. Let's take another call here.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Thank you. I just wanted to get your thoughts on a topic regarding what's going on with the ICE raids down in LA. I was a victim of a sexual assault when I was in college and I never got to go to trial or any of that because I never reported it.

• 32:15Theo Von?

  Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing. Onward.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  Anyways, I was just thinking about in this country how there's, I mean, I don't know, at least 25,000 rape kits sitting in evidence lockers that are not tested. And while this is happening, people are being pulled from their families. And that's what our country has decided to spend their money on. Like, what do you think about that? Like, do you really think that there is value in what our government is choosing to do? Do you think that the citizens of this country who have actually committed crimes are better

• 33:00Speaker 01

  than people who have existed illegally, you know, picking fruit, like having families, like being good people? Like, I know you love Mexicans. I love Mexicans. Like, they are, like, how mad is all the Whole Foods mom's gonna be when they can't afford strawberries? Like, this is hilarious to me.

• 33:24Theo Von?

  Yeah, I mean, there's a lot here. Sorry, there's a lot in this voicemail. Yeah, I love, I love Mexicans. I would like to be Mexican next time. I've prayed for that. God knows that. So if something ever happens to me, please look out for me. And if you see me in El Barrio, say, bienvenidos de Oro.

• 33:48Theo Von?

  But yeah, sorry to kind of joke, but you were kind of laughing there at the end as well. Yeah, I'm sorry about your sexual assault. I, I, I don't.

• 33:56Theo Von?

  Yeah, that it's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking what? Uh, let me look up about those rape kits. I didn't even know that.

• 34:08Theo Von?

  How many rape kits are awaiting testing in the U.S.? This is a site called USA facts.org. The federal government spent over 1.3 billion dollars to clear the rape kit backlog since 2011. But USA facts analysis uncovered thousands of rape kits awaiting testing in 2022. At least 25,000 untested rape kits sat in laws enforcement agencies in crime lives across the country. Untested rape kits have significant consequences both to criminal justice systems, sexual assault survivors. Not only can rape kit testing provide crucial evidence that helps identify perpetrators and bring them to justice, it also can connect perpetrators to other assaults. Unreal, you know, I, I, yeah, I didn't even, I was not even aware of that. Thank you for, for bringing that to our attention.

• 34:51Theo Von?

  It, it always, I'm always mesmerized by what our country appears to do with funding. Right? When I was a kid, I know my mother was like, why are we sending this money to these other place? Like, we don't, what is, you know, there's always been this situation, like, why are we sent, why? Like, what do we need over here? You know, with this money we're sending to Israel, we could do so many things, right? We could do so, and I just picked that place because it's the one that, you know, I think we sent them 12 billion dollars already this year.

• 35:26Theo Von?

  But yeah, like, what, what are we, why? Why? Right? Why? And knowing that people are sitting there way just in a, the stress of waiting for a kit like this to come back, I just can't even fathom. While the perpetrators out there may be doing more crimes, the alleged perpetrators out there doing more crimes. But let's talk about the ICE situation. You know, because I feel like that was more the focal point of your, of your call.

• 35:52Theo Von?

  I think a lot of things on this. So, one, I think a lot of what you see, not a lot, I would say, I bet half of what you see, the videos and stuff out of Los Angeles are not real. I think a lot of them are seeds that are planted to create conflict, right? To create more videos, you know, caring people show up, caring for a cause, they create more videos, and then there's all this extra videography. But I believe that the, whatever you would call it, the duralog, whatever starts, that that is kind of staged. I feel like even a lot of the videos are probably staged. Not saying all of them, I'm not saying that deportations aren't happening, I'm not saying any of that. I just don't trust things that, a lot of some of the, a lot of the stuff in Los Angeles,

• 36:37Theo Von?

  I believe that, that a lot of things in our world are staged. And then we see videos and then we believe them. I believe them, you believe them, we believe them. Obviously, there's a lot of deportations going on. It's sick when you see like children crying and people being taken from their parents. It's heartbreaking. It's, you know, it's, it's, it's, anybody thinks that that's heartbreaking.

• 37:04Theo Von?

  Now, there's also, in the country, there's, you know, you have rules, you have laws, you have like, these are the rules, right? And some people are here, they're illegal, they're illegal by the letter of the law, technically, they're undocumented, right? Now, 40% of people that are here illegally are Mexican, right? 60% are not.

• 37:31Theo Von?

  We're just coming off a huge influx of people that were just let into the country during the last political administration. There's no, we've had border patrol agents on, it's undeniable, a lot of them are not even from Mexico. A lot of them are not laborers that were just coming over for fruit season or for farming season and then coming back, a lot of them are not that.

• 37:55Theo Von?

  So, you know, when Trump is a, he's heavy-handed, that's who he is, right? We've also had a broken system for a long time. So, when the hammer starts to come down, or the guillotine as this is, it's not gonna be comfortable.

• 38:17Theo Von?

  And at first, it's gonna be messy. It's not gonna be smooth. And I think that, and I know Trump spoke the other day, that there needs to be a way, and I believe wholeheartedly, there needs to be a way where people who are productive citizens are allowed to get amnesty or create a path for them to have citizenship. I believe that, undeniably.

• 38:43Theo Von?

  There's also people who are like, "Well, when someone says that they shouldn't be in our country," right, you hear that, "They shouldn't be in our country." "Well, you know, this is our land," right? This, I believe that our land is still, that America is still fully entrenched by the ghosts of pain from what happened to Native American people. I believe that, right? I believe that the land doesn't forget. I believe that. I don't believe that we've made amends to those situations. I think there's other situations in history that we haven't made amends to. I believe that.

• 39:22Theo Von?

  At the same time, like, I believe, and this is a bigger belief, that in a few years, there's this plan with, it was spoken a few weeks ago, that Trump picked this company, Palantir, to create this digital database, right? This to use like AI technologies, create this whole database of everything. I'd asked J.D. Vance about it. So I believe in a few years in America, that everywhere you go, there's gonna be facial recognition, there's just gonna be all built into our society, right? I mean, built in. So I don't think in a few years, you would even be able to be in the country if you're not supposed to be, by law, right? By the letter of the law. I don't even think it's gonna be possible.

• 40:07Theo Von?

  I think that's where we're headed, and we're headed there quick. And I think this is just one of the early stair steps you see of that, right? Is the organization, the documentation, everybody, you have to know who's here. You have to. And I don't think, I think in a few years, it's not gonna matter.

• 40:27Theo Von?

  The system will know, right? I think it's Palantir is the company that's gonna do it. They've also been accused of a lot of dangerous stuff in Gaza.

• 40:38Theo Von?

  But that's, that's the company that's, we're gonna be surveilling basically ourselves, right? We as citizens, whoever we are, are gonna be under surveillance in our own country. That's gonna be bonkers, dude. So, I believe that it's a bigger thing, that, that these are the stairs, these are the baby steps of it. Is first, is you gotta know who's here, you gotta figure everything out. And yeah, I, I, I agree, the stuff's gross, it's sick, it's, it's heartbreaking. You know, the stuff in Gaza is heartbreaking, us watching this and becoming immune to some of the, or not, you know, and then you're so overwhelmed, sometimes you don't even know what to speak up about.

• 41:20Theo Von?

  And you still also, most people have to take care of their families and, and, and get to school, or worry about this, or worry about that, or do okay at their job, you know? So, and then some people just stay out of it and they just go on about their lives. And I, are they, are they bad for doing that? I don't, you know, I don't think so. It's just, it's all a lot. It's all a lot. That's what it feels like sometimes, you know? It feels tough. It feels tough to navigate, what do I do, how do I do this? You know, but we feel, we see and we feel everything now. So, emotionally, I think a lot of shit gets pretty overwhelming at times, or we just start to get immune to it, which is even scarier.

• 42:03Theo Von?

  Cause then you see something really messed up and you don't even say anything. You literally move past it with your thumb. So, anyway, sorry to be a downer right there with a lot of downer stuff. There's also people that have been in the country technically illegal, right? Like by the letter of the law. Who, I don't know if over the years, they've had the opportunity to figure that out. Is there, you know, have there been opportunities? I don't know enough about it. I'm not an, um, I don't know enough about immigration policy to know if they've had, where they could go to an office and get that figured out over the years? I don't know. I don't know what that's like. I bet it's also miserable to be like, living in the shadows. And like worried all the time.

• 42:48Theo Von?

  That this isn't gonna be able to get figured out, or this won't be able to be figured out. And you also have to believe that different political parties, they will use these things as kickballs, they'll use certain videos and stuff as kickballs.

• 43:01Theo Von?

  To get us all to watch the ball in the air, right? And even though sometimes it's some of the situations it's horrible, we're watching the, you're watching the monkey juggle. Meanwhile, the monkey's stealing all your shit. The monkey got all your bananas, baby. You down fruitless, you down bad.

• 43:20Theo Von?

  But

• 43:22Theo Von?

  prayers, if a Mexican person needs to hide at my house, man, I'd be willing to discuss it. Fuck, I don't know if I should say that out loud or not. Oh. But, I, yeah, I, I, I just, and sometimes people are like, you gotta speak about, you gotta speak about this. You, you, you, you speak what you feel you need to speak about. Okay, you, you speak what you think you need to speak about.

• 43:49Theo Von?

  Cause also, I don't sit there all day looking at everything, you know? I don't sit there all day looking at every single thing and moment. Some stuff I'm not even attuned to. There's other genocides happening in the world that I don't even know about.

• 44:02Theo Von?

  Right? And that you don't even know about, and that's okay, you know? So, anyway, there's a lot going on there, that's all I'm saying. And I think this is all part of a bigger, this is, this is just the beginning step. This isn't, I, while we're all watching this, so many other things are going on. And the crazy part about all of, of everything is, of everything, is that it's always the same shit. You look, it's always like, oh, here's a racial issue, here's a this issue, and

• 44:32Theo Von?

  and nothing ever changes, it feels like.

• 44:36Theo Von?

  Nothing ever changes. And that's sometimes, I think, maybe even with that Vance interview, I'd be like, is anything gonna change? Cause if not, just tell us it's not. You know?

• 44:50Theo Von?

  So, you know, I can go back to using and doing adult kickball or whatever, just tell, you know?

• 44:57Theo Von?

  But, anyway, those are just some thoughts, and I don't have any perfect answer for you. And if you're coming to me for some perfect answer, go to yourself. What is your thought? What do you feel? What do you know? You a magic guy? You a wizard? Then do wizard shit.

• 45:16Theo Von?

  Another call that came in here. Sorry to get hot. Happy belated Father's Day, dude. And El Dia de las Papa.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Hey, Theo, um, I just had a question. I need some advice. I have a pretty right-leaning boyfriend, and he's not super fond of gay people. And my really close cousin, he's like a brother to me, he just came out as gay recently, and he's been acting pretty [bleep] gay. So, I'm just trying to figure out how I can mend things between them. Um, he's, my gay cousin is coming into town. I'm trying to set up some plans.

• 45:56Theo Von?

  Well, look, I think, I wouldn't just take a gay around somebody that's anti-gay for, you know? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you don't fucking, you don't just take a pit bull into the bird shop. So, that's one thing I wouldn't do, right there. I mean, you know, I think, I mean, you could just play, play, uh, dude, you could play that song, uh, "I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road. I'm gonna ride till the gang know. Well, I got the horses in the back." You play that shit, bruh, I bet they both gonna fucking grin a little, boy. Magic got to be.

• 46:39Theo Von?

  And if you ain't ready to go full Lil' Nas, you could fucking start off with Lil' Cotton Eye Joe. Get out the way, cotton eye Joe. That's a fucking little, you know, that's a fucking little, you know, sometimes if you, if they drop that on at the country club, you could see who might have a little bit of fucking zest in they, uh, in they bandana, you know? So, yeah, those are some options, but don't be, you know what I'm saying? You ain't fucking Don King. You ain't Dana White, baby girl. Don't be out there fucking. You know, don't be out there trying to start a um trans swimming event or something, you know what I'm saying? Don't get crazy. You know, you ain't the NCAA. Don't try to fucking um pit different people against each other just to start shit, you know?

• 47:21Theo Von?

  Don't get like that. So blessings to both of them and uh praise God right there. Let's hear another question. Oh, we got a question here about uh gaying.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  Hi, Theo. This is Garrett Stewart.

• 47:35Theo Von?

  Hey Garrett, thank you for calling, brother. Onward.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  California. And I was just calling to ask I uh

• 47:44Speaker 03

  well, I'm secretly gay and I

• 47:47Theo Von?

  Oh secretly gay, the fellow said. Let's hear more.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  I haven't told a lot of people. And I want to figure out how I can tell my mom.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  And I thought I could get some advice on here. I am hope, I'm hoping she'll listen and maybe find out this way and it'll start up the conversation, but

• 48:08Speaker 03

  yeah, I mean, thank you for the, thank you for the space to talk about this and I hope to, hope they hear something about it on the

• 48:15Theo Von?

  Okay, brother. Yeah, thank you for calling, dude. Um and congratulations on your uh gay ship or whatever it's called, gaydom or whatever, um being gay. Um, I mean, you, there's different ways you could go about it. You could do something, you know, kind of fun. You could do just like a knock-knock, who's there? I'm gay, you know, that old trick or whatever. Or, or you could get a deck of cards, right? You could write I'm a gay son on each one.

• 48:47Theo Von?

  Put them like that. Have her pick one out, say pick one out and read it. And bam, you don't even say nothing, she says it. And then you could be like, what the fuck do you mean? You know, you could uh roll switch or whatever. So that's it, you know, that's reverse psychology, dude. So that's some, that's crazy. Um, but I think in reality, dude, what would I do here, dude? I, I, I would, I would sit down with her. I would sit down with your mom if you got to tell her that you uh you are. I would sit down with her. I would say, Mom, I have something really important to tell you and

• 49:27Theo Von?

  Just ask, I would say, hey, do you know, do you love me no matter what? Do you love me no matter what? And she will say yes, right? If she doesn't say yes, I would not tell her. But if she says yes, then I would keep moving forward.

• 49:43Theo Von?

  And then I would just tell her, say, look, I'm a, you know, I'm a gay man or whatever.

• 49:50Theo Von?

  Or I'm pretty much gay, that's what I would say. Don't ever fully commit to anything. That's a trap for everything. I'm pretty much gay, right? That way, what if they come out with a cream or something, or a topical a few years from now? Or something, or, you know? Cause you don't know that they don't, or a peptide or something. That'd be un-gay in people. You wanna have, you just wanna have that little, you wanna leave that door ajar, baby. You know what I'm saying? You wanna leave that, you wanna leave that door ajar, poppy. So, that's what I would, then I would just tell her.

• 50:23Theo Von?

  And I would just let her know, if it's scary to you to say that, I would say, mom, I've been really scared about saying it to you.

• 50:29Theo Von?

  And then I would say, do you have any questions about it? Because it's a surprise, it might be a surprise to her. Some moms are surprised about it. What percentage of moms? No, they have a gaze. Oh, it says, a lot of parents know, cause they study their babies closely as they grow.

• 50:51Theo Von?

  So, hell, yeah, bruh.

• 50:55Theo Von?

  Yeah, so if they, they might have some ideas over the years. If you inviting other little dudes up in your crib or whatever, they might have had an idea or whatever. Or you got fucking, you got a bedazzled diaper or whatever, they gonna have a little inkling. Some parents, it doesn't say every parent. So then, that's what I would ask her, because it's gonna be new, new to her, so she might have questions. She might be scared too, she might be, you know, she might be kinda rattled. And then, if you guys have a dad, I would say, well, how do we break this to dad? What do you think we should do? And then that way, it kinda creates a little bit of an accomplice there. Yeah, I, yeah, I just think that's it, that, that, that, just as probably learning you were gay, it's probably a journey for them to have this information.

• 51:36Theo Von?

  So, I'm not saying that just because that people need to adapt to you or anything, but I'm just saying, some people, it's a bit of a surprise. You know, my buddy told me he was gay not long ago, and I was like, damn, bruh. He's gay, you know? So it's a surprise sometimes to people. You don't, you know, it's a little bit of an adjustment. It's not bad or anything, or it doesn't mean anybody's bad. But thanks for asking about that, man. Uh, we've learned a lot about gays here over the years, you know? We've learned a lot about, uh, drug-induced homosexuality, um, altitude-based gays, um, weekend gays, uh, footwear gays.

• 52:20Theo Von?

  A lot of times you looking at your buddy's shoes or whatever and you're like, damn, that, your boots is gay as fuck, son. You'd hear come the zest step, uh, you know, so it's like, we've learned a lot about it, dude. There's full-time, there's part-time, there's, uh, Wednesday only gays, underwater gays. Sometimes you feel something underwater, you go down there, somebody's blowing you.

• 52:45Theo Von?

  What is that? So, there's a lot there, man. Anyway, sorry to ramble, but,

• 52:52Theo Von?

  but I bet, I bet, I don't know. I bet that's a tough, tough experience for a lot of people, man. I bet it's a tough experience. So just thanks for calling and sharing about that. Uh, let's get another call in here.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  Yo, what up, CEO? Um, this is your boy. I'm gonna keep this one anonymous for obvious reasons here in a bit, but, uh, just wanted to give you a call and see if you had any suggestions for me. Um, this morning, I received a message from somebody that I had, uh, made love to about two years ago and,

• 53:36Theo Von?

  Oh yeah.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Honestly, at one point she, this woman, she was my boss. She's about 10 years older than me, I believe, but, uh,

• 53:45Theo Von?

  Ooh, okay. You climbing the corporate vagina, brother. All right, onward.

• 53:52Speaker 04

  Got a message this morning that uh, she says there's about a seventy-five percent chance that her one-year-old daughter is, is my daughter. And uh, I, I asked her, well, what's this other twenty-five percent chance? Is that just to soften the blow or what? She's like, yeah, there's a ten percent chance that it was my ex. Um, I don't even know if she had a, a boyfriend at the time when we did it, but maybe. Um, but yeah, it was just to kind of soften the blow. And so obviously I'm gonna do a paternity test, but I'm twenty-five years old.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  She lives in a different state, thousands of miles away from me. Um, I asked her what she would expect if I am the father and she says, I'm not planning on changing anything. Uh, it's, it's up to me. Um, but she's gonna be happy, healthy and well taken care of, which I truly do believe. Um, but I, I don't know, I just don't know what to do. Like, I feel like I myself had both parents growing up and I'm fucked up as is and I can't imagine bringing a baby into this world and just leaving her out there high and dry without a father. Um.

• 55:20Theo Von?

  Yeah, you, you saying you can't imagine that, right?

• 55:24Theo Von?

  So it sounds like from hearing you that that's not part of you.

• 55:28Theo Von?

  That's not part of the plan that you want.

• 55:33Theo Von?

  So I think starting from there, you, you'll be, you'll, you'll be able to figure this out, man. Um, I wish I had more of a suggestion to you. Actually, I'm gonna open this up just to, to callers. I know maybe that's impersonal because it's your call, but I think this is important. If somebody's in this situation, if you've been in this situation before, what, what did you do? And if you made mistakes and you were in this situation, what were those mistakes?

• 55:59Theo Von?

  Um, you know, I think this is an opportunity to share those and we can do a follow-up call on the next solo episode where we'll, we'll package some of those answers up for you.

• 56:13Theo Von?

  But just hang in there right now, man. Hang in there, take care of yourself. And I would just try to also live in like, you know, get information so you're gathering, you know, you have real time information. What's going on? Is this really, you know, if you have a paternity test, is that really your child? You know, figure those things out so that you can be at least operating from a place of real information.

• 56:34Theo Von?

  And then you're not just living in your head as much.

• 56:38Theo Von?

  But I, I, I, I can't tell you a ton because I don't have experience right there.

• 56:45Theo Von?

  But I have had experience thinking that I might have had someone who's pregnant and that can be very tough. It can be scary. It can be very scary. Even if that person's a great person, it still can be very scary. And especially if you're going to be in a place that's far away. But everything is,

• 57:04Theo Von?

  if there's a problem, you can usually fix it, right? If there's a situation, you can usually figure it out. So even by calling, man, I think it shows kind of where, where you're at. You're already in a space where you want to start to figure this out. You know, for yourself and possibly for your future child. So, um, yeah, thank you for calling, man. And yeah, we'll put something together. It might be a few weeks before we get that episode out. Just let you know, it could be a month to that next solo. But, uh, yeah. But love you, bruh, and hang in there. And, uh, thanks for calling.

• 57:40Theo Von?

  This is an ad by BetterHelp.

• 57:44Theo Von?

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• 58:04Theo Von?

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• 58:49Theo Von?

  That's better H E L P dot com slash Theo. Let's take one more call right here.

• 58:58Speaker 05

  What up Theo? My name is Alex, I'm from Cleveland, Ohio.

• 59:02Theo Von?

  Okay. O H.

• 59:05Speaker 05

  I was just asking for some advice with a girl from Latin America. I've never been with a Latina before. I don't know if you have any experience with one, but I met this beautiful girl from Colombia a few nights ago at the club. And it was this whole romantic experience, you know, I bought her a drink. I was making her laugh. Before you know it, we're doing the tango.

• 59:29Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, dancing.

• 59:31Speaker 05

  I was even speaking a little Spanish. I don't know what got into me. I had game I've never seen before out of myself. But now, just a few days later, I've been texting her. I want to take her on a date. But I feel this pressure to be the guy I was that night. And honestly, now that the drink's out of my system, I don't think I got it anymore.

• 59:52Theo Von?

  Yeah, uh, yeah, I would just, uh, thanks for that call, man. I would, here's what I would do. I would just take her on another date. And she already knows that that happened, right? So I don't think you gotta replicate that. I think you take her to do something else to take that pressure off. Go for a walk. Go to a bingo hall and do a bingo night over there.

• 1:00:16Theo Von?

  Um, what else could you do? Go for lunch, right? Do a completely different environment.

• 1:00:22Theo Von?

  Because I've done this a lot of my life, man. It's like, man, if this date with this girl, if it's not perfect, I don't stand a chance with her. I either do or don't stand a chance based on who I am, though. I mean, it's easy for me to say that.

• 1:00:36Theo Von?

  Just because like I've learned that in my own life. But, um.

• 1:00:43Theo Von?

  But that's really what it comes down to. Just say, hey, the other night felt awesome, felt magical, right? I'm nervous, I can't replicate that. Tell her that right out of the jump. Now, you already have that magic night you made. And now you're a real guy, you're right there, you're on a real space. Because otherwise, dude, we spend this time, dude, I've spent so much time, like, this has to be perfect. I'm gonna fucking get this, I'm gonna rent this van or whatever, I'm gonna do all this shit.

• 1:01:13Theo Von?

  You know, we gonna get a couple oysters or whatever?

• 1:01:17Theo Von?

  You know, all of this fucking shit, this van oyster bullshit, and then I end up, I can't ever, nothing's perfect, just like, I'm, I'm just, I've already, I've already lost. Cause I set the expectations too high. So that's what I would do, just be real with her. And if it doesn't work out, it's not because you didn't do things magical.

• 1:01:36Theo Von?

  It's just because it wasn't gonna work out.

• 1:01:39Theo Von?

  That's it. You know, do, but be creative, I think that's appreciated. But that's it, man. Don't make it so it's impossible for you to even do. You know, I do that sometimes, fuck, I make shit like. Oh, dear God. Uh, all right, let's get out of this, we gotta get done here soon, um. Let's take one more call.

• 1:02:03Speaker 06

  Hey, Theo, um. I wanna congratulate you on your success, man, I'm a huge fan.

• 1:02:12Speaker 06

  I just had a question, man, well, not, not a question, just I wanted some advice, man, so. Um, I'm 28 years old, I'm an army veteran, uh, recently.

• 1:02:22Theo Von?

  Thank you for your service, man.

• 1:02:24Speaker 06

  Veteran, um, recently got out like a year and a half ago and, um, I went through a divorce, man. And, um, you know, that's that. Um, the problem is that, um, I have two kids, man. Um, both of them have autism and mom decided to step away from their life, you know, and it's just me raising them alone. Um, I just wondered if you can just give me any advice you got, brother, like, um, just how to deal with that, man? You know, trying to do things alone and if you just had any advice, man, but

• 1:03:02Speaker 06

  just want to thank you for your, uh, for your podcast, man. It's been extremely helpful. And yeah, thank you and, uh, hope you reach out back, man.

• 1:03:12Theo Von?

  Praise, brother. Thank you for the call, man. Thanks for calling and just, uh, man, that's a journey you're on, dude. Congratulations, bro. Congratulations on, you know, showing up. But man, I want to say, uh, Happy Belated Father's Day to you. And I applaud you, man. I applaud you

• 1:03:35Theo Von?

  for showing up for those kids, for being able to have, let them have somebody they can look in the eye, in the eyes, and they know that that person is there for them.

• 1:03:46Theo Von?

  That that person is a caretaker. That that person thinks about them when they're not around.

• 1:03:54Theo Von?

  You know, I think as children, we take that for granted even, and we should, because it shouldn't even be a question.

• 1:04:00Theo Von?

  But I commend you on that. I know it's your job as a dad, right? That's part of it, but man, maybe as men, we don't say that shit to each other enough. You know, I don't know.

• 1:04:14Theo Von?

  But yeah, having dad there when he, you know, you try to learn to ride the bike or you want to do fishing or whatever. Or if y'all like doing a video game or reading your kid a story at night. You know, or even picking your kid up and helping him get to the second or third step. You know, now make your kid do one of the steps. Some people put their kid all the way to the fourth step. Bitch, put that bitch on the third step. You know what I'm saying, bro? Life ain't that easy. You know, or set, if they crawling, set that bitch on the south side of a speed bump. Let him work.

• 1:04:48Theo Von?

  Let him work. But I'll say this, it makes me feel good just knowing that there's a man out there who's out there battling to do his best with his children. And um, this is also kind of interesting. We're making uh these Cat William uh nutcrackers. And we're gonna make a package pair, just like me and Cat William had talked about about doing it. Uh, and they're gonna be um, one of uh him, one of me. And you could just get him if you want, that's fine, I will not be upset. But uh we're gonna sell them in the proceeds, we're gonna go somehow to help parents of children with autism.

• 1:05:32Theo Von?

  So we just started looking at the prototypes. And uh, I don't know what that looks like, right? I don't know how, I don't know if it'll be in what way or something. But when that comes along, man, maybe I could have you help us out somehow or um, I don't know, maybe we can think of something to do. You know, in that space, but. Yeah. Now, we're hoping to have them plant for the end of the year. I don't know how it all works, but I do know that we've already gotten back like um drawings, we haven't gotten back uh an actual item yet. But uh I do believe that we're making progress, so. Uh, there you go. That'll be something, that's a, that's not advice, but that's my belated Father's Day gift to you.

• 1:06:16Theo Von?

  Is that if we can get this to fruition, then let me see if I can't find a way uh that we can or do like do a nice thing for you or something, I don't know what it is yet. Yeah, but just know that people are thinking of you, man. You know? Know that I think a lot of us go through the day and you know, I think most people, this is the funny thing I, I, most people I'll run into, they say, I wanna be helpful with people.

• 1:06:46Theo Von?

  You know?

• 1:06:48Theo Von?

  Most people are, that's, they are thinking of that.

• 1:06:53Theo Von?

  And I think that's what's in the heart of most people, man.

• 1:06:57Theo Von?

  But happy, happy belated Father's Day, brother. And, uh, praise God. You might also be Mexican, so you sounded a little bit Mexican. I'm judgmental when it comes to voices and shit, you know that, bruh? But, uh, feliz papa. Let me see what that means, actually. Feliz papa?

• 1:07:16Theo Von?

  Happy dad. Happy father. So, el día de feliz papa.

• 1:07:24Theo Von?

  Happy dad's day, yesterday. Oh, oh, yesterday, eh... Yesterday dos, I'll say that. Two yesterdays. Yesterday dos. El día de feliz papa, ayer dos.

• 1:07:42Theo Von?

  Happy belated Father's Day to Rhett Powers, that's the man that took me in when I was young and, uh, and gave me a place to stay.

• 1:07:50Theo Von?

  You know, in high school and stuff like that and has been a role model to me. Charles Alder, he was a teacher of mine that I had when I was young. He passed away a few years ago, but, uh...

• 1:08:01Theo Von?

  He like was the only, he was like the first person ever even, like, talked to me. Like, talked to me like, uh... I don't know.

• 1:08:13Theo Von?

  You know, he really cared about me.

• 1:08:17Theo Von?

  There's been a lot of men in my life, I could, you know, I'll forget, I don't want to get into like a naming spree. And a lot of men who have filled in the blanks.

• 1:08:26Theo Von?

  You know, sometimes I go, you know, uh, if there's something going on, I'll call, uh, this friend's dad. Or I'll call this person who's a little bit older than me. Sometimes I even get little pieces of fatherhood from friends, right?

• 1:08:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think sometimes it's like building, you build that relationship just out of other pieces of fathers that are still here or moments that are still here. So, anyway.

• 1:08:53Theo Von?

  Yeah, just learning to use my voice dude is crazy. This late in life. And maybe that's me just having a cop out, I have no idea. But I'm gonna keep, uh, I'm gonna keep showing up. Let's do that.

• 1:09:08Theo Von?

  Praise God, man. Be good to yourselves out there. There's a new song right here and we might have to edit this out if they don't clear it for us. But this is by Evan Bartels and he has a new album out that I wanna support here and, uh... This is Evan Bartels, the album To Make You Cry, which, yeah dang, it's the last thing I needed, but it is what it is, baby. But this is a voice, this is somebody using their voice, right? Uh, so anyway, I don't know. But you guys be good to yourselves, man. We got some exciting e-episodes coming up. I'm grateful. Uh, I wanna get more grateful, I wanna be more grateful in my life. I'm gonna ask God to help me with that this week, I'm gonna ask myself to help me with that.

• 1:09:54Theo Von?

  Sometimes I try to put it all on God's shoulders and I don't do shit, you know? So I'm gonna try to pull up for God. Uh, praise God, baby, here we go. You guys be good to yourselves, man, you deserve it. Happy belated Father's Day, gang.

• 1:10:11Speaker 07

  Said the cancer came back.

• 1:10:14Theo Von?

  This is called Death of a Good Man.

• 1:10:16Speaker 07

  After two years of leaving me alone. And my wife passed back in December. Since then I'm in here on my own.

• 1:10:34Speaker 07

  He spoke like a Southern Baptist preacher. Sang like a Pentecostal choir. Said he always done right by that woman. And ain't no man could call him right. Some nights when his spirit got heavy.

• 1:11:01Speaker 07

  He'd dream of that lost promised land. Said it looked like back home in Virginia. But he'll never see them old hills again.

• 1:11:19Speaker 07

  He said I blame it on the damn tobacco.

• 1:11:25Speaker 07

  And I blame it all on the booze. And I blame it on the fella Sitting up in heaven Giving me the right to choose.

• 1:11:43Speaker 07

  He said I reckon I'll die on a Tuesday.

• 1:11:49Speaker 07

  And I hope the sun's gonna shine. And I can't take it with me. So I drink it right here. My whiskey, my beer, and my wine.

• 1:12:06Speaker 07

  And he spoke like a southern Baptist preacher. Sang like a Pentecostal choir. Said he always done right by his mama. And ain't no man could call him a liar. But some nights, when his spirit got heavy,

• 1:12:33Speaker 07

  He'd dream of that lost promised land. Look like back home in Virginia. He said I'll never see them old hills again. And I'd sit at the bar while he's talking. Just like me and him was old friends. And promised I'd always remember The life of a good man.

• 1:13:13Speaker 07

  Now on the east side of Nashville I sit

• 1:13:19Speaker 07

  And I get stoned.

• 1:13:34Speaker 07

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